When I accidentally double tap on someone's rant.

4am

"I need to brush my teeth before going to sleep 😵"
*goes to bathroom*
*washes hands*
*goes to bed*

1minute of heavy processing later

"FUCK"

Professor: "Who here regularly backs up all their data?"
*Some people raise their hands*
Professor: "Who has at some point lost their data?"
*The exact same people raise their hands*

Today while i was working on my web project, suddenly my boss put his hands in my pants, jerked me off and then i continued my work like nothing ever happened.

Being your own boss has its own advantages ;)

Sometimes when I'm writing Javascript I want to throw up my hands and say "this is bullshit!" but I can never remember what "this" refers to

#oldbutgold

😂😂......if you ever did this raise your hands

When you have so much time on your hands that you create a rotating 3D cube console program...

Networking Professor: Alright, how many of you disagree with the way Google collects and uses data?

*basically everyone in the lecture hall raises their hands*

Professor: Okay, now if you were offered a job at Google, how many of you would still take it?

*everyone raises their hands.*

Got my hands on an interesting API.
Look around on the site.
No documentation. Like, nothing. Not even examples.
Tried calling it.
Response code: 200 OK
Body: Unknown Error.

Well, fuck you too.

Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.

The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried.

Turning to the other two, he says, "At Windows, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.

He turns and says, "At Macintosh not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder.

"At RedHat, we don`t PISS on our hands."

Running from my job to my bus stop while having my phone in my hands trying to fend off a cyber attack while my hands are nearly freezing and its raining like hell.

Sometimes my job is just fucking awesome.

Well this is getting out of hands

When your company launches a new mobile, hands it to you for free and also lets you engrave on it.

Get off my hands! I'm trying to work 😒

Boss: Can you do Task#1?
Me: Ok *start coding, building..

*15 minutes later

Boss: Hey, that client need some fixes and it's urgent, please do Task#2
Me: sure, *switch to the new task

*30 minutes later

Boss: anything new about Task#1, I told you to do it almost one hour ago..
Me: Oh sorry, I forgot my other 3 hands at home..

Boss: what?..
Me: Because those fuckening two hands are working on Task#2, which is urgent as you said..

Boss: *walks away..

Math: the imaginary unit is i.
Electrical engineering: no, it's j.
C hacker: hands off my loop variables!

I have a new car that drives itself to a certain degree.

However if you take your hands off of the steering wheel, after 15 seconds it starts shouting at you to put your hands back on the steering wheel.

SO imagine you’re the developer.

You can recognise when someone’s hands aren’t on the wheel.

Why might that be the case? The driver is sleeping, dead or otherwise incapacitated.

Appropriate response?

1) slow the car down to a stop?
2) just turn off self steering so the car veers into oncoming traffic.

Yes you guessed correctly - it’s option 2!

For the love of fuck. Surely the better option would be to keep the thing steering but slow it to a stop.

#developeritus

Who has got system like this.. Raise your hands 😂

Had a bit of time on my hands and this was the result. Shaking my head. I should never be left free and alone. Lol.

Boss: Come to my office right now! Its urgent
Me: *goes to his office*
Boss: Please install chrome for me
Me: *hands in resignation letter*

Filled with rage

Click new rant in browser

Rant until I run out of characters

Hands have not experienced such fatigue since puberty

Death-grip my mouse

Trembling, aiming for the big red Post button

10 pixels too low

Fuck

I usually don’t use caps so I apologize but.... HOLY FUCKING SHIT! MY PERSONAL BUSINESS THAT I BUILT WITH My HANDS HAS JUST SIGNED A ****HUGE**** contract!! More to come!

He proved he is the hands-on guy they were looking for🤣

JetBrains IDEs hands down. These folks know what devs need.

You can pry my Emacs from my cold dead hands

Guy: *hands me sheet of paper* What does this code do?
Me: *looks through code written on the paper* Well, most likely segfault.

*awkward silence*

Finally got my hands on this! 😋

Someone asked how patient you are?
.
.
.
.
I used Android studio on a laptop with 4 GB RAM.. and tested apps on emulator.

PS - It kept my hands warm in winters.

Google sending me an email saying "Protect your personal info from falling into the wrong hands" is probably the most ironic thing I've seen all year

Hands down, best linux

Finally done with being on call/standby so thought I'd order myself a pizza calzone 😍

I'm not saying that this thing is small but it's smaller than my hands.

I don't have very big hands 😭

Junior dev: asks me an easy question cuz he's too lazy to figure it out

Me: listening, thinking he's gonna waste my time again 😓

Senior dev: eavesdrops and helps him out

Me: saved me, woohoo 😎

*Few minutes later*

Senior dev: "by the time you finished asking this question, you could have compiled the code yourself to see what happens"

Me: 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂😂

Can't count on my two hands how many times I've done this.

You absolute piece of shit.
Fuck you.
I hope your sleeves slide down every single time you wash your hands.

Socially comfortable nerds are hands down the rarest and the most supreme beings on the planet.

OMFG WHO THE FUCK USES TWO FUCKING HANDS TO

CTRL+SHIFT+V

WTF BOSS?? FOR REAL?!?

Experiencing it right now.

As I type this I am sat in hospital having lost power to my hands over the weekend.

I work a day job, I have my own startup that I’m working on and I’m also freelancing on another startup.

Just been diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome. It sucks. My hands feel about as a strong as a particularly weak 4 year old girl.

🙌 hands up if you figured out your problem while typing up your question on stackoverflow. 🙌

Interviewer: have you ever been reported for sexual misconduct at work?
Me: uh no
Interviewer: good to hear! Our last developer had wandering hands, which we don't approve of here
Me: ...

Vertical + horizontal desk community, raise your hands up✌️✌️

This is totally getting out of hands...

Dad: "Happy birthday"

(hands over a box)

"here's your cake, now bake it"

Me: "Wha?"

fast forward to today, its now a linux meme

Client promised an email in 5 minutes after hanging up.. It's been 2 hours since.. Is he typing with his penis? Is it so small that it's taking so much time hitting each key!

How do people just go about deleting databases when they don't mean to?

"Ah, a database!"
*Flaps hands at the keyboard until something happens*
"Oops, I deleted the database :/"
(*Posts a rant about accidentally deleting the database on devRant*)

🤔

Oh, it's been awful. A mandated email about washing hands. A slurry of awful jokes every time someone sneezes. Send help.

!rant
So, it finally arrived 🤓
Been waiting for so long to get my hands on one of these! Finally I can start messing around with it 😄

Got cold hands in class. So I decided to test the meme.
I put my hands under my laptop's vent and installed Android studio.
My hands are no longer cold.

I hate it when you just want to wash your hands and this happens!

Sometimes I scroll or tap something on my phone with my nose
(Usually when I somehow can't use any of my hands to do that or I'm just too lazy)

Is that weird? Am I the only one?

after doing all the paperwork and packing his shit, he shaked hands with his now ex-boss, and with a smile, and after their hands are no longer touching, he told him with a really calm voice to go fuck himself.

Python Charmers hands up 🙌🙌🙌🙌!!!!!

Just got my hands on this beauty 😍

Telling a developer to just start coding (because we need shit done) is like asking the surgeon not to wash he's hands before a operation cause it would save us time.

Sharepoint - hands down the worst blob of resource hungry bloat that ever existed

>Upper management personal hands me a paper.
>"Can you make some copies of this for me?"
>"Why?"
>"You work in IT."

People who rant about their phone making bad photos that are surprised when I make good photos on them...

JUST F*CK OFF AND HOLD IT HORIZONTAL AND WITH 2 HANDS LIKE I TOLD YOU LONG.MAX_VALUE TIMES

My wife is neither a programmer nor she understands code but I love her more when she puts snacks in my mouth herself because my hands are too busy on the keyboard.

When manager is happy with what I am saying and intern tries to raise hands

Github takes 2 hands and pornhub only 1

So this backend developer boasted.
"All the controls are in my hands.. you frontend developers are just the puppets of our API's".

Next day i did this:

If (email === '****') {
profilePicture = 'dick.jpg';
}

Application(s) that remind you to take care of your hands

Mom: "What's this thing?" *hands me her phone*
Me: *sees dialog saying something about com.google.gms or so draining battery with obvious okay button*
Me: "...just press Okay."

So we, new interns, are having breakfast together. One of the intern brought this nice milk and cornflakes. Another intern started to talk about how she's allergic to dairy products and her hands become itchy when she eats any dairy products.

Then I said: "Oh, your hands gets itchy? I shit myself whenever I have anything related to milk."

Both of them packed their food and left in the next minute.

I hate myself.

No more deaths at the hands of unrealistic deadlines! #ProgrammerLivesMatter

If your npm/yarn config breaks on windows clap your hands
👏👏
If your npm/yarn config breaks on windows clap your hands
👏👏
Express generator doesn't work, and sass will up and break because there is no support for windows clap your hands
👏👏🎵🎶

Sigh.......das it...i am bringing the mac or one of my Linux machines tomorrow........

Yeah. Sure. Such diverse, much wow. Good luck with that.

Their hands must be fucking huge.

9 days.
9 fucking days without internet.
9 fucked up days with access to a national intranet with the only accessible things being websites with privacy-respect policy of facebook, with all your unencrypted data streaming under dictator hands.

Hands.
Imagine how hard typing could be without hands.
"Look Mom!! No hands"
*bashing head on memeboard to code*
*best tool ever*

Generally I repeat to my team: "if you touch master I'll cut you f*cking hands off!". Even when I have master push policies.

Should I be extremist about master?

I’m gonna say it. I prefer Nano. Vim is nice and emacs exists but I just feel most comfortable in the hands of my precious Nano.

Favourite code editor?
Hands down, it’s actually Vim.

It’s mostly because I haven’t been able to exit it though. Actually it’s the only reason. I’m stuck. Someone please send help.

Repost from Instagram, IE haters hands up :)

5" phones are too big.

15" laptops are too big.

Mid tower cases are too big.

Yet the market seems to disagree with me.

the fuck kind of manager are you that you tell your leads not to fucking answer their damn phones when services need restoring????? If your fucking team member can do his damn job like a grown ass adult, but sees that you (his lead) made a change and has questions, your ass better answer the phone, or i will rocket launch it up your ass, straight into your brain so it's the newest, latest, fucking hippest trend and hooked into your system so you answer every fucking call hands-free. Even when fucking "Windows Tech Support" calls you every 30 minutes because your keep expired.

There are people counting on you, worthless fuckwipe. Get. The. Fuck. Over. Yourself. And do your fucking job.

Edit: phone tried to censor me

Just get your hands dirty....

all the brave souls who are deploying today -- raise your hands!

😆 Raise Your Hands if this is Your Situation 😆

#WorkFromHomeLife

After developing a chrome extension, cli tool and jsRant I think I should stop developing on devRant.

When @dfox changes the api I am going to have quite a bit of tasks on my hands :p

In-laws don't drink coffee, they just pour it and let the mug warm their hands, thus hogging the coffee I could have drank.
What kind of monster family did I marry into?

Finally got my hands on this awesome and beautiful game <3

them: "This external HD isn't compatible with my Mac."
me: "It is, it probably just needs to be formatted."
them: *hands me box, with HD still in plastic wrap*

So, how do you know it's not compatible?

In that mood where I'm excited to code until my hands hit the keyboard then I just go off to YouTube or smthn

There's nothing quite like having to listen to someone's condescending tone, all the while knowing that they're talking bollocks.

Go shit in your hands and clap.

“One day you will find a real job”

It looks like if you don’t lift weights, move hands, sweat… and sit all day doing click click on keyboard, it cannot be a real job…

When a Senior Developer hands off their project to a Junior to implement new features

You can always tell how stressed I am while Programming by how much hair is sitting on my desk.
It's become habit to rub my hands through my hair when things ain't going so well

I no longer have to share a desk after today!!! No more greasy hands touching my mouse!

We had all hands on developer meeting. There were 2 interesting bullet points:
- deliver fast
- make quality applications

I mean, these two points are not correlated 🙈

"wow I love this programming article, how do I... tell the author or something, can I comment or... what's this, clapping hands, ok... fine...... ah fuck"

Hands down biggest coding distraction has got to be Project Managers.

Worst part of being a web dev is spending the majority of your life making stuff you'll never touch with your hands

Python Django Lovers Hands Up 🙌

!dev && rant

> be me
> headphones on
> hands packed with shopping bags

Some old bitch neighbor that I can't stand: oh hi!

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING ME TAKE OFF MY HEADPHONES FOR!?

Seriously. When someone has his hands stuffed with groceries and has headphones on, maybe they don't want to stop, put their bags down, take their headphones off and say no more than another hi. Like not even anything else, just hi and walk away! What's the fucking point!? Making me pause and waste time just for the hell of it? Thank you old bitch.

People with dirty, greasy keyboards and mice. They obviously never wash their hands and all that disgusting gunk builds up around where they touch.

The feeling when you use someone else's mouse, and you can feel the lumpy texture of the sticky grey filth on it.

Clean your desk equipment occasionally, people. Also, wash your hands properly after using the bathroom, and it won't even be much of a problem.

Hands Down it's Linus Torvalds.
He is cocky, arrogant, moody and always speaks out his opinion which is most of the times should be censored.

Favorite Moment: Fuck Nvidia!!!!

Learning to program in 21 days is very easy. Just like moving the clock hands. On a sun clock. Across the road. In Portuguese.

where do Javascript developers wash their hands?

in async... 🤣

It takes 2 hands to count the number of times everyday that I lose my mouse curse due to have too many monitors.

It's 4 am in the morning.

I have an important test at 9.

My laptop decided now was just the right time to make the screen go black.

Sometimes Murphy just politely hands you your ass.

Thanks, good folks! Took a little while because I ended up moving before the letter arrived, but it's finally in my hands. Look at my shiny new devRantBook!

My hands shiver after 6-7 hours of straight coding. Anyone experiencing something similar ?

When you reduce a function from 16 lines to this, you know ES6 is in good hands now.

Hands down the best exception handling code you will ever see!

wow... no kidding.... so C++ is like a language without a compiler holding ur hands and catching u when u screw up...

When life hands you lemons,
create a startup to market lemon juice
as a healthy, low-carb alternative to
lemonade.

So I thought “wow, alcohol aerosol should probably catch fire and burn really quick. I bet I can burn my hands if I do this”.

So I poured pure alcohol into a spray bottle and sprayed it right onto a lit up lighter in my hand.

It burned really quick.

I burned my hands.

I was right.

Affective disorder be like

👐 Jazz hands!

Get your hands dirty. Break things. A lot. Of both.

Using z-index 99999999999.

Are you fucking serious... please go somewhere far far away from me and cut your hands off so I don't have to deal with this shit.

Why thank you! 😁

Much appreciated! And let me just say while I'm thinking about it, devRant is hands down the best community I've been apart of in a very long time. Keep up the rants!

Parents: You want anything for your birthday?

Me: yeah, can I have a newer PC

Parents: Cool

Me: Also, can I spend a majority of my time alone messing with it?

Parents: Sure

My parents were really laid back and basically let me do what I wanted

elementary OS, hands down, is my favourite. They eat for breakfast the people who think Windows is easy and macOS is pretty. Fucking cannibals.

I tend to load up Spotify put on my noise cancelling headphones and zone out and become one with the code.
Super deep.
Like deeper than neo.
Also have to have my hands on my mechanical keyboard at home.

Not only is the documentation only in Chinese, but also the labels used in the components are. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Oh well time to get my hands dirty.

Me: hands project in
Team: Is that ours?

Heard sales manager talking to his team to wash their hands properly after using computer keyboard.

And here I'm sinking my face in both hands and occasionally covering my mouth with one hand and biting my finger tips sometimes.

When graphic design agency hands over inconsistent, partly done "desktop" A4-layout made in 2 days in InDesign. "Okey developer guy, make it responsive, magically. Oh, and pixel perfect!!" Design agency takes 40% of the budget. Never again.

An old man in my company walked in the restroom right after I entered, I was destroying the toilet when I heard him leave without WASHING HIS FUCKING HANDS, some time later I saw this animal communicating and shaking hands with somebody. Have you been grossed out by an event like this before?

I personally haven't been washing my hands unless a celebrity on twitter has told me to.

When I get annoyed enough to take matters into my own hands... (I've been asking them to fix this for like 2 years already)

From an old time Windows user (3.11), coding on a fucking Mac is coding the way its meant to be. Hands down.

Jason arrived at the front of the queue, approached the restful priest, hands open.

The priest said, "body of request"

My oldies, they take me back. It's actually amazing I got my hands on a prototype for an LG phone from way back. It was never released to public. Android is in my roots...

Hands, and eventually keyboard. Sometimes.

How are there people liking my comments on super old rants?
Someone has too much time on their hands xD

Alright, I got my coffee so let's get back to work!
Or as I call it:

Two hands, one cup.

When your minipc finally arrives, you're all excited to finally get your hands on pfsense/bsd, and you find out bsd is still struggling with wifi5, not to mention wifi6 which you've bought to have high-end networking at home..

Bummer

I like to get hands on with my fixes.

No, I don't want to go to sleep. I'll just rest my eyes for a moment with my hands on my keyboarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I make jewelry,mostly earrings but necklaces and bracelets as well. While i sort of watch TV. Something to keep my hands busy and my mind free

=)

Designer: Can you turn a design into HTML/CSS for me?

Me: Sure just send me the design.

//Hands over 300dpi PDF created in InDesign...

Client asked me to complete the job as fast as I can and, here I am, waiting for the review of the latest version for the past 2 WEEKS.

Good thing, she paid up the entire amount beforehand. *Rubs hands in glee*

Just in case any other devranters are in China, here is this morning's updated chart if you have wechat you can follow this account, stay safe and wash your hands

So today a Windows sysadmin told me the Registry is a part of Windows he "doesn't know so well" 😂 and the worst part is the faith of about 1000 users lies in his hands 🤦‍♂️

It takes so much effort to put a quality video on YouTube.
1. Researching
2. Scripting
3. Recording ( screen record while doing the hands on of the topic, drawing concepts on whiteboard + voice over )
4. Editing
5. Thumbnail

Then upload.

Show of hands who here bootstrapped without VCs!!!!

I'm going to start cutting off hands if people don't write unit tests...it's like eating your vegetables folks...

So I was excited about working on a proyect I recently was invited to work on, but when I finally got my hands on the code I felt this urge to scream "YOU FUCKER!!!" (the dev responsible for the code)

Had to quickly code an emergency release for one of our visitor checkin apps that brings up a splash screen telling you to wash your hands after using our app.

Where others fear, I see opportunities 💰

Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.

 The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his  hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper  towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on  his hands is dried.

 Turning to the other two, he says, "At Windows, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

 The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his  hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his  hands using every available portion of the paper towel.

 He  turns and says, "At Macintosh not only are we trained to be extremely  thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

 The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder.

 "At RedHat, we don`t PISS on our hands."

This is hands-down the worst codebase I've ever touched. 50% laziness, 50% poorly-conceived alterations to business logic. One of those where if it isn't throwing an error, you DON'T TOUCH IT.

All of a sudden every engineer at my work is a biochemist and talking about how the world is ending due to the Coronavirus.

Shut up. Wash your hands. Wipe down your laptop keyboard. Don't lick your hands after touching a surface. Don't touch your face. Just be cautious.

Who blocks "dell.com" for God's sake.
This is getting out of hands now >_<

hands on IoT project.

hands down the best feature of macos so far

Totally hands off. Haven’t touched code for about 2 months at least. Just concentrating on organising things and meetings.

Manager in latest monthly review : “we’d like you to be more hands off”.

How!?

Pair programming, hands down. I enjoy the hell out of it but it leaves me mentally and emotionally drained by the end of the day. My co-workers echo this sentiment so I know it's not just me.

Creating things with your hands, or creating code, creating programs, are just different ways to express creativity. ♥

- Elena Silenok

I seriously feel like I'm learning more hands on stuff here than at school
So many precious advices and tips
I love this community

When you put your hands together and start chanting almighty compiler gods to have mercy on your soul.

The only parts of my body that aren't currently hurting are my legs. And my hands.

Help.

Today I spilt a glass of water onto my palm. As I was shaking the hand of a senior executive. He looked at me in disgust as our hands squelched together.

!dev

Two people are arguing about what time he texted her for like 2 min now..

Both of them hold their smartphones in their hands..

JUST UNLOCK YOUR PHONES AND CHECK THE FACTS!!

If the client wants too increase the scope or change requirements, that's fine but put the difficult decision in their hands.

Do you want to delay delivery or drop something else.

Manager 101: Plan things ahead.

My manager: Hey let's move this complex server today (Friday) all hands on deck, no plan in advanced. Nothing.

Why so much people bullshit they way to managerial positions?

Every designer I’ve worked with is too goddamn slow. I always have to drag the work out of them like pulling teeth with your bare hands. It’s just an awful process.

Am I the only one with sore thumbs from using a phone and typing at work all day? Everyone talks about their phone and features it should have but I'm just like "hardware ain't shit if you're going to break your hands using it"

I think it's a tall people with big hands problem.

Running hands down.

Saw this in the shop. No way I was going to walk out without getting my hands on it! 😁

all these ethanol,
my hands are drunk.

Not writing tests for your code is like leaving it unguided in the hands of future Devs who gonna just change something and break the core logic and there won't be any regression test to run and check the integrity.

Initial opinion: Visual Studio is the best IDE, hands down.
Tell friend to install it
"Runs like s**t"
Troubleshooting...
Final opinion: Visual Studio is the best IDE... If you have at least 8GB of RAM and an SSD.

Time spent with head in hands > time spent looking at screen

I've never been a fan of ReactJS... but what the hell, lets go get our hands dirty.

hands up

who started with - minecraft
- html
- the wish to be a hax0r

Thou shalt not talk while I'm pooping.

-- New Commandment after the floor Karen confronted one of our colleagues about her talking on the phone while washing her hands.

I'm thinking about placing my menu button at the bottom instead of top right since the phones have become essentially larger than our hands. What do you guys think?

Project lead: We need you to do overtime tonight, we can't pay you but we have pizza...

Me: Again?

Project lead: We just want you to be committed to the product

Me: *crys into hands*

My hands are always freezing my office. Any devs here have a good way to keep their hands warm while working.

A note. I keep my core warm. I will often wear 2-3 layers and a beanie, so I keep warm, but my appendages will get freezing cold.

dev_storyV1.1 (without merge conflict)
Thief: Quick! Hand me your wallet and backpack
Dev: *hands over the empty wallet, takes laptop from bag, pulls from remote, pushes all the commits to remote, deletes local repo, puts laptop in bag, hands over the bag* Here you go mister *sighs*

Can everyone with 10yrs digital marketing experience, put their hands up 🤔

Give more students hands-on experience on real-life situation.

i burnt 3 fingers on each of my hands cooking yesterday(picked up a lid with bare hands) and have butt loads of coding to so let's see what wins

When you're trying your hands with Machine learning but get stuck with responsive layout in one of your side projects. Ultra confidence killer.

Had the occasion to put my hands on Tailwind CSS. Terrible sauce. Pastas taste aweful with it. I can't see myself working one more day like this.

I hate trends.

Real quick stop what ur doing right now. Close your eyes, reach up super high with your hands, and then hug yourself, because your an absolute champion god damnit.

Spent an entire fucking day updating various statues.

Fuck!! Managing and being hands on at the same time is fucking draining.

First case of Coronavirus in my Country 🇬🇭. This is going to be a tough one since customary, we greet by shaking hands and our public transportation system...

When one PM hands you off to another PM and neither has any idea about the project I am supposed to be working on...nor do I have access to the Trello boards, the repos, etc...

Happy Monday 🤦‍♂️

Today someone took a shit and didn't flush...

Normally you have your typical candidates, who are pissing standing in the stalls although there are free urinals, people who don't wash their hands after pissing or just splash like 3 fingers with water. Even not washing hands after taking a dump, which is pretty disgusting... But today? Some dude in the stall next to me took a shit, wiped his butt... and went away... No flushing no washing hands... Wtf is wrong with people?

My stress ball has been stolen!

I came in to work to an email alerting me to a bug in production. I copied the site to staging to work on the issue but I was unable to replicate bug. My rubber duck wasn't helping so I went to go bounce my ball off the wall when I realized I don't have a stress ball anymore.

I spent 7 hours working on the bug without a stress ball before finally fixing it. And now I'm ready to deal with the theft the old-fashioned way.

When staging is down the devs party

Hey, sysadmins / legacy devs.

What is the cheapest way to get my hands on unices' shells? AIX 5.3/6.1/7.1, SunOS 5.x, HP-UX 11.*,..

Needed for playing around.

It's 8PM and I've been working since 8AM straight. Needless to say my hands kinda hurt already.

Google's hardware mega event tomorrow. So excited!

So what if I'm broke, I'll clap my hands instead! 😂

My brain, hands, fingers, laptop and VS Code need I explain?

"The silence isn't so bad
'Till I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly"

-Me to my PS4 Controller

From time to time I go to the office bathroom and there's this guy who's leaving without washing his hands.

I admire his courage for doing so even if there's people around!!

This isn't exactly due to coding but computers in general
Doing a "Ctrl + F" with my hands when trying to find something when reading books and going "wtf did I just do?"

I got exams coming up but all I want to do I get my hands dirty with kotlin, python and learn the java design patterns 😭

On an all hands with a higher up that recently joined the company advocating "in person" discussion and I'm just like "yes you're a boomer we get it nobody gives a shit"

Hands up if you mainly use the light theme.

The day I accept a management position, please lop off my hands and replace them with harmless ice cream scoops to keep my rusty ass from touching perfectly good code.

Anybody working on any good open source projects at the minute? I'm looking on expanding my portfolio and getting more hands-on in community based projects.