Declare variables not wars,
Build packages not walls,
Execute programs not people,
Throw exceptions not stones.

Client: I want to go to the moon!

Me: Sure thing! I will build you a rocket.

Client: But I want you to build me a car.

Me: A car can not take you to the moon.

Client: Build me a car.

Me: OK.

Client: Can you build a Snapchat clone but better?

Me: I’m going to say probably not logical given the resources they have and what we have, but for curiosity, what kind of budget do you have?

Client: $2500.

Me: Get out.

I have decided to build a computer right from the logic gates. Not physical, though. Everything will be basically built on top of a NAND gate.
Prayers needed! 😁😂

1. I'm a programmer, that does not mean I know every possible programming language. Yes, I can build Android apps, standalone softwares, serverside frameworks. No, I do not know how to build frigging websites!

2. "You can build a website in 2 days, you're a programmer". Tell a single mechanic to build an entire car in 2 days or tell a civil engineer to build an entire building in 2 days and I'll build your website in 2 days.

AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!
Why does your family think that being a programmer means being a magician who can just pull any kind of software, hardware, app, website out of their hat?

just built my first ever pc... took me 4 full hours because i was being really careful since i was terrified of fucking something up, but it turned out great!

NO. NEVER HAPPENING. For the sake of all the fuckery in the world, I WON'T FUCKING WORK FOR FREE. Not as a learning experience, not for contacts, not for future contracts, not for a fucking blowjob from your wife and not even for a place in heaven. I will be bunkmates with the Devil before I build you your website for free. I feel like strangling a cat with my shoelaces and bashing your brains out with the carcass every damn time your balls swell big enough to ask me to build you a 5 minute website for your well-earning business, you cheap bastard. Take a shovel and dig yourself a hole to sleep in, you piece of biological waste.

You guys been saying something about Gradle build times being not accurate?

"Git is useless, connect to the server and edit the pages" - My boss, 2019

And beleive it or not, he's also a teacher. What a great and wise man, we should build a statue for him!

Every week is the same. Wake up, new jira ticket. “Build us a pink house”.

*i build a house*

Next day, “URGENT BUG REPORT!!! CRITICAL ISSUE IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT”, click on ticket, “bug report: the house doesn’t have sprinklers”

They didn’t ask for sprinklers. This is not a bug. *i add sprinklers*

Next day, “URGENT BUG REPORT!!! CRITICAL ISSUE IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT ASAP ASAP ASAP”, click on ticket, “bug report: the house is pink.”

HOW IS THAT A BUG TWO DAYS AGO IT WAS LITERALLY A REQUIREMENT

Meanwhile management makes triple my salary

"JavaScript was built in a weekend"

Yeah it was ... But not the version we have today ... Twats saying well I'm sure you can build this app in a few hours 🙄

Do NOT build something as fast as possible. You are going to end up spending more time trying to refactor the mess than youd have spent drawing a class diagram.

Any time someone gets an idea that they talk to me about 'I want to build an app can you build apps'
Me : I'm not amazing at it but I can certainly try what's the idea?
Them: it's like Facebook but...
Me: that's plenty

OMFG! YES! I just solved an issue that made build times close to 20 minutes. Not it's only a couple of seconds! YES!!!

Client: I want you to build me something, I'm not sure jet what is is exactly but it is supposed to be round and be able to fit on a car.

Me: you mean a wheel ?

Client: noooo, this is completely different and original idea like none has ever had.

College be like
"Today you are going to build an ARM processor, questions ?"
"Yeah, how do we do ?"
"It's not my business"

Guy: We should build a Blockchain based review website.
Me: Why does it have to use a Blockchain?
Guy: That way we can verify that only real people are leaving reviews and not bots.
Me: That's not really how Blockchains work.
Guy: Blockchain!

1: Man did you see the latest windows build fucked up design?
2: What are you mean?
1: I MEAN NOT ALIGNING REFRESH BUTTON ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU PRESS IT.
2: What??? Where???

Never try to learn a new platform that uses a language you are not really comfortable with while expecting to build something during an hackathon.
Never.

A: There is not even a single forum for cyber security. Let's build one.
Me: Are you sure that there is not even a single forum?
A: Yes, I'm a cyber security expert. I have 5 years of experience in this field.
Me: **walks out quitely**

Early morning I walk in to a build failure email.
"Oh shit! It failed and I'm on the Cc list."
.
"Please don't be me. Please don't be me. Didn't I build it already?" *compulsively launches local build*
*Ctrl-C's current build and feels angry for doubting self*
*Repeats, while trying to replay the incidents of last night in the head.*
"Fuck this. I'm certain I built the module."
.. scrolls email ..
"This is not even my change!"
.. scroll ..
"This is not even my code base!"
*feels foolish, but MAJORLY relieved*

Well let's do this group rant thing.

I had to build 5 responsive Web applications in 3 weeks. Again Web applications, not websites. I slept a total of 2 hours per night in my car, and would go home every 3 days to shower.

I quit soon after.

Le Me: well it is the time to go back on that Android project and resume the work.

*Open Android Studio, open the project.
*Wait 10 minutes for build/index
*error: gradle outdated, that is ok, update it.
*error: some library needs update
*error: R not found
*error: internal IDE error.

*Clean Project: PC hangs, Fan go so fast..

Shit ! I even not touched the code !

9:30 - College
10:00 - Heard we got to build a fucking portfolio website in WordPress.
10:02 - Said I already had a personal portfolio
10:03 - Heard I still have to build a fucking WordPress portfolio website..
11:20 - Remembered I put on my portfolio that I don't want to fucking use WordPress!!!!!

Now - I live in pain. Building a WP site so I do NOT have to do it later :/

April fools day prank idea:

1. Replace all semicolons with Greek question marks
2. Add a Gradle task that automatically fixes the semicolons, but only when run on the build servers
3. Watch as people get confused because the code builds in the server but not locally

Working for a company that micro manages, my boss asked me to build a script that calculates hours employee is not on his seat through camera feeds.
Received a mail today that my first weeks deficit are 7 hrs.

Do not hire a team of full stack developers such that the entire teams' core competency is back-end development and then wonder why they can't hurry the fuck up to design and build usable, device-friendly interfaces.

Hire a damned front-end dev.

Worst part of being a developer?

Everyone thinks you want to freelance a website for them...

Even when you're not a web developer

What do you do?

I write software.

Oh so you're good with computers and stuff?

Yeah

That's p sweet, can you build me a site?

No. 😃

Do you wanna build a Program?
Come on it can be in C
Doesn't compile anymore
bugs to report
Perhaps a parsing tree
We used to be peer buddies
And now we're not
I wish you would tell me why!-
Do you wanna build a Program?
It doesn't have to be in C.

Stackoverflow, Anna

Okay, bye

Dev: My VM is not working. Something is wrong with VM.
Me: Have you made any changes to the code?
Dev: It shouldn't matter my VM is not working.
[I go and check the Dev's VM.]
Me: ಠ_ಠ The build output literally states your unit tests failed

CEO be like: "I'm sure you guys can build this, i mean this is not rocket science!"

I still don't understand the effect devRant has had on me...

When I first joined I was quite happy just being my old 2D game developer self but now all I want to do is build CLI tools, interpreters, root through source code I don't understand and not shut up about arch... Not sure of I'm down the right track or not now

Visual studio 2017 with Xamarin:

* writing some sweet code, life is good.. build and run.
*change int age to 2, build, build failed, no single message why.
*clean, clean failed, no single message why.
* build rebuild clean all or by project, nothing works, no single message why.
*change nothing, restart VS, build success !
* writing some code, same problem
*restart VS, "this project is not compatible with Visual Studio"

Good bye guys, I'm gonna kill myself

Have children and build a house. You will forget what you enjoyed doing in your free time. Because you will not have any more!

P. S. I could have attached my github activity graph instead, but that is even more embarrassing 😭

"No We Will Not Code for Free"
(Parody of the "Cheers" theme)

We're underpaid, clients' scope today takes everything we got.
You turn to us with all your troubles cause "companies charge a lot."
You want our work but you won't pay.

No we will not code for free.
You are not exempt from our fee.
If you want a free site, build it yourself. We're not your coding slaves.
We won't build your crap no matter how much you plea.

"Paying us back" don't mean a thing, money talks, bullshit walks.
If you want a cheap site then go to Geocities.

Self rant!

Looked at a code snippet I wrote last year and I thought to myself: am I geting stupid for not understanding my own code ?

Tried to re build it from scratch...

Failed and had to reuse it without understanding how it's working.

I guess I am getting stupid!

I was building my iOS app in xcode, when I get an error. It was some swift library thing I did not recognize.
Then without changing anything:
Build again.
Error
Build again.
Error
Build again
No errors at all. Run my app and everything works perfectly.

When you build a site on heroku not thinking alot of people will see it, and out of nowhere you get crazy messages from alot of people saying why does it take 5 hours to load your website. :/

Wanted to build a quick app, thought would be an hour tops. Lets use react native, why the fuck not.

Now after 4 hours im sitting here, wondering why the fuck did i have the great idea of ever touching rn again.

Stack Overflow ..Are you kidding ? . <3 people who code . We have a 10+ developers in team still not able to build stable product.

Boss asked hey can you build me out a site?...Me ...sure got the PSD for the site?...Boss...no just build something out...Me...okayyyy....I build out a site...Boss...I don't really like the design...Me... ....*internal eye roll because I'm not a designer*

I would hire all the devs and build an all powerful AI

So devs can come up with better jokes and not repeat old ones, it's clearly the main issue this world faces

Programmer: We really have to refactor the codebase!

Director: That's not important. Do you think our customer would care what it looks like under the hood if we are selling cars?

One year after...

VP: We need to build a new platform for flexibility!

Director: Let's rewrite!

Not asking students to learn the code. Seriously stop doing that.
Instead motivate them to understand the logic and then build it when required.

My "Sorry, but not so sorry OneDrive" package arrived. Let's build a cloud!

I love that its 2024, and yet sometimes you still have to delete the /bin and /obj folders from a C# project to remove build errors that are in fact, not build errors...

...and people here hate node.js / npm

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

but come on down in the comments all you C# worshippers and please enlighten me what I am doing wrong... definitely couldn't be C# right?

also explain why 'clean' must not REALLY mean clean 🤡

How the fuck does someone releases a new version of a package without testing one of the core features of that package?

Spent fucking hours, hitting my head on the wall, only to realize that the latest build they have released has a bug. This is not acceptable :@

From a buddy:
A friend's comment on the latest merge conflict on the integration branch:
"O brachName! my branchName! our fearful sprint is done,
The build has failed with every merge, the goal we sought not won,
The release is near, the worst I fear, would Product be exulting?"

That moment you receive an email: your CI build is failing.

Ok. What went wrong?

Three new commits that do not seem to alter anything related to the failure.

*reverts commits and tries again*

Still failing.

WTF?!

*restarts previous builds*

They now fail too.

FUCK! BASTARD! Are you kidding me?

*investigates*

Turns out that repo of dependency changed and is not compatible anymore.

Argh! Son of bitch!

It all started with a simple shell script that ran a bunch of build commands.
Then it became a python script that ran a bunch of build commands because why not?
Now it's becoming an electron app with a jazzy UI.. that runs a bunch of build commands. Because why not!

when you find a tool or library that does exactly what you need, but it's not documented at all

or worse, when it's "cross-platform" but all the build/install steps are made assuming you're using a Mac
"brew install my-shiny-metal-ass"

Just saw an upwork job post that said

"Apply if you're looking to build your profile and gain experience and not work for money"

So my Product Manager girlfriend just said, "I have a great idea for an app that people will really want. Can you build it for me?". She did not see the irony

Well it’s Official, The Bot has been bagged, It’s the end of the Build season. I hoped to get a picture of it not being in the bag, but too late 😑

If I ever start my own company, I'll build it on the basis of people not giving a single fuck about what others might think about them, especially management.

There will be no place for butthurt special snowflakes and predictable egoFucks! (credit to @MrJDev for that one)

*Working on custom magento build*

Project manager:you are taking to long on this project. I know how long it should take to build a web site, I built a way more complicated site than this in just a few hours!

Me: what site did you build?

PM: *sends link to wife's photography site* wife.squarespace.com

Me: ...that's not the same thing at all

We're having build system problems and I'm probably the most experienced when it comes to build systems.

I'm not experienced with build systems.

Client asked us to build standard dating app. Android version was published without problem but iOS version was rejected because during registration we collect data application does not need to work properly, that data is age and gender of user...

Not being appreciated but I bet that applies to nearly everyone.

If I build you really cool shit you've not seen before. And no one else you know or can get in contact with are capable of it. You're damn right I expect respect and compensation equal to my skill and time.

fck you visual studio!!! seriously what is wrong with you?!?
~me peacfully writing some code ~
ok let's see what we did
vs: I can't compile that. The key whateverKey in line 15 is not defined.
me: ok let's investigate...
nowhere in line 15 use whateverKey.... ok....
wait I didn't change that file at all.
~me clicking rebuild solution~
vs: can't build that because of whateverKey in line 15.
me : WTF?!?
checking git diff -> file not changed
me okkkkkkk......
closing visual studio and reopening solution.
Build succeeded.
What the actuall hell?!?
I'm spending way too much time trying to get that shity peace of software to do what it is supposed to do!

Go fuck yourself make.

Don't tell me you haven't got a build rule for a .hex file because I'm fucking looking at it. I added a single file name to a variable and now magically you can't find any of my fucking build rules.

NOT FUCKING HELPFUL MAKE.

YEEEEEESS! FINALLY!!!!
After 4 days trying to find why my build script was showing an error! I finally fixed it!

I still doesn't work, but, hey, it's not the same error message!

my worst dev sin:
Commit and go home on a friday not waiting for the build to pass.

Tons of notification from counterparts the following monday

Just learned my company says it owns everything I think or build, whether I am on the clock or not. It was in the handbook, not the paperwork I signed, but it says I agree to it if I keep working for them. It even says I cannot show interest in something without their approval. FUCK!

Friend has great idea for a software project built on top of OpenAI's API.

He wants it to be freemium, littered with ads.

He doesn't code. I think he's hinting at me to build it for him and I'll continue acting aloof.

I will not build software that's funded by ads.

Fuck ads. I hate ads.

Keep it simple, but at the same time try to build it so that any known or unknown future change can be easily implemented. Do not block your future.

Just wanted to take a moment to say that I'm really impressed with devrant. I'm not the most talented programmer, and it just blows my mind how one/two devs can build this entire platform from scratch on their free time. I wouldn't even know where to start.

Boss: we need to standardize the CMS we use.

Me: well 90% of what we build are custom Wordpress deployments...

Boss: yeah but Wordpress is best suited for all our clients.

Me: well yeah, I know...we could use Django or Rails and give the clients more customized solutions...

Boss: yeah but not all of our developers know those frameworks, and they require maintenance...

Me: -_- we could really use Jekyll for most sites we build

Boss: yeah, but what about our clients that want a blog?

Me: ...we can build a blog with anything...

Boss: ...we just need to standardize what we use.

When the manager decides you're the one who should build a website and you're not the front-end developer at the company 🤬🖕

Piece of shit cake. I'll stab you in the goddamn virtual neck with a screwdriver. Not get my nuget packages. Go fuck yourself in your fat fucking ass. Goddamn, who automated this build process. I did. Fuck me.

Is it possible to build a program that can detect if an image is a meme or not?

Ive been sitting here, trying to do VERY basic shit in angular (hiding elements and api calls), and after downloading 5 additional node modules that break my "build" (its not a fucking build, this is an interpreted language), im confident to say, fuck angular.

CMAKE, YOU PILE OF SCRIPTING SHIT!

WHY THE FUCK CAN I NOT CHANGE MY BUILD DIRECTORY? I HAVE WASTED AN HOUR ON THIS UNBEARABLE SHITWEASEL OF AN EXCUSE FOR A BUILD SYSTEM!!!!

STOP SHITTING YOUR STUPID CACHE FILES INTO MY SOURCE FOLDER!!! AAAAAHHH!

Not quite a rant, but it'll devolve in heated debate anyway 😂.

So I was discussing deployment methods with a client's CTO today.

He was fervent on using git for deployment (as in, checkout/pull directly on target host).

I was leaning more on, build npm and web bullshit on the runner, rsync to target host.

Ideally, build shit in the runner, publish to an artifact/package manager, pull that in the target host.

Of course, there are many variables and pros/cons on each side, but would like to hear your opinion.

To build a machine as shown in 'Person of interest'.

P.S. If you are hearing Person of Interest for the first time, put it on top of your tv series watchlist. You will not regret it.

My react developer tool popped up to tell me that my company slack is using the development build of react not fit for production...

Asked my colleague not to commit android settings and build files into git, ignores me and goes ahead to do it anyway. Now, every time I pull from Git, I have 6k+ files that are changed 😑

To any CEOs that berade there employees for only getting something 99% correct even though the team is less than 3 weeks old, FUCK YOU. That shit is not motivating and you just fucked up any motivation your employees had for being excited to build your product.

6 hours to make my Ionic cordova app build with native google maps plugin without a problem.

Deploy on my cell.

Not compatible with android 4.4.4.

FUCK YOU SONY! RELEASE A FUCKING UPGRADE TO THIS FUCKING PHONE ALREADY. FUCK YOU XPERIA T3

When tester says your build is not working in Windows Explorer

Me and the team I manage after fixing bugs,
Me: hey devXY, please send a build to the QA to test it. I am going to a meeting.

*2 hours later

QA guy: hey, we did not receive any build yet.. we are already out of time..

Me to devXY: hello, why didn't you send a build to QA?

devXY: ok, sending it now.

ME LIKE: WTF!!!

Instead of watching our (software) product demo, the client asked why not build something like Amazon Go? The whole meeting was debating with him.

Which is worse?

- Staying at a company you helped build because you have an emotional attachment to it, even if it's not as good to work for now, people are leaving every week and pay is under market rate.

- Leaving a company you helped build purely for more money and a big name on your CV.

Follow the money or follow your heart?

(Image slightly relevant?)

- Did you know Google is who manages Android.
- It's a simple fact.
- so you know Visual Studio is not designed for Android? Then why it's easier to build a hello world app in visual studio but Android studio which Google build it?
- O_o

So I was watching Your Lie in April while waiting for Android to build

Let's just say that wasn't a pleasant experience after NDK OOM'ed the exact time the saddest part happened

IM NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING ;_;

The "JavaScript-based web app" starter pack.
Build web sites, not web "apps".
JavaScript is an enhancement, not a replacement for HTML.

When you've signed a contract to not build something similar to the customers product but their implementation sucks and you just want to make the world a better place. #Hooli

I would consider myself in the topper half of c++. I build compilers, i contributed 1000 linus to the linux kernel... But still: I am (only) 14 and lack experience... Could you please share some tipps for a young programmer... Not only for jobs, but also to improve more...

Dear Java developers who has a fetishes with OOP and Design Patterns, and are now using Python:

Not every fucking thing you build has to be a class, a singleton or a factory. Specially in Python. Go with your boredom and boilerplate elsewhere.

Why people think that Mac is better than pc? Im Mac user and I like Mac. I think Apple just uses better hardware and charges extra for it. If you build windows with better hardware then windows will work really fast too. On Mac gradle build takes really less time because of SSD it does not mean Mac is faster. Get SSD for windows and see the difference yourself.
- P.S. Not hater of any OS.

Comment on a code review:
How does this relate to the task?
Me:
Most of the changes have nothing to do with the task, but half of the code & build system was either wrong, broken or not following best practices. This particular change is because something was broken.

On thursday i spent 5 hours on a function. It was about to include in production build which was due on friday.

On friday PM informed me that we are dropping this function from application. It will not be included in any build now. So just prepare the build without that function.

So, instead of commenting it out or make it hidden i deleted the source code for the function entirely.

Today morning it has been decided that we are including that function in our next build.

I am fucked. I am very bad Developer i guess.. i am laughing on my mistake. It will not happen again though.

Not sure if this is progress or what... But the people who asked me to fix their laptops or build their website now want me to help them out in starting their very own crypto currency.

Contact tracing is scary as fuck!

I feel like we should all make an effort to tell people not build these things

What are you doing crashing on me Windows?

All I was doing was running a flight simulation, compiling a build, and doing a regex search over 6 directories. Try to open one little document and it all goes to hell.

Surely you can handle that Windows?

Apparently not.

It takes ages to get visual studio with all required tools to generate windows build of an ionic project. Windows for dev(atleast for mobile web) is not at all smooth.
Hate Visual studio..... Load project takes its own time. Build takes ....never mind.

Project configurations... why, for ffs, whenever i come to old project i need to deal with configurations, build systems, certificates, project settings. I want to write code not dedicate my life to Maven and making directories by hand for Android Flavors.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

It is taking every fibre of my being to not buy a couple raspberry pi zeroW's and just mess around trying to build my own phone, software and all...

Also hard for me to not just buy any pi to just have sitting around 'incase' .-.

Uuugh... 'come let's build a standard with in the company'

Two ( and I kid you not) weeks later, we don't get it anymore let's build a new standard

What the f*** is this gradle in Android Studio??
M getting tired with this error. Whenever m starting studio it stuck on waiting for build to finish project.. I already done with checking offline work still it's not working.. What the f*** should I do with this error??

I left on vacation only to realize I pushed an old build to production. It now throws NPEs.

I don't have a computer, just my phone.

I'm regretting not going to bed earlier yesterday.

Be me
Newb Ui dev
New job , learn c#
Become xaml pro first
Newb ui dev
Today building menu
It's breaking ree.
Ok I go through an fix
Part fixed
No reee
Commit build for other my senior dev
We have online compiler
Receive build fail
Reeee
My code is good
I'm sweating bullets
I call other dev
Yo I f***** up
Help me
Go figure it out ... reeee
I go spend 40 mins
Don't know what is killing build
Reeee intensifies.
Going to shit diamonds
Reeeeeee
Other dev, lol my bad I turned on somethin that break ur build. Your not fired congrats.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeee

Trying to use a c++ library but not even knowing how to build it.

If you are the lead developer on a big project, and you want your developers to not hate everything about this project, for the love of God please at least have a build server (it doesn't even have to run tests) and make sure your constant screwing around with Maven doesn't break the build for everyone else.

Product Owner.
Not Product Liaison.
Not Product Buddy.
Not Product Suggester.

Own it. Bend it to your will. Make it better or sunset it and build it again. But don’t be a wet noodle and say “I’m just following orders”. You give the orders, you own it.

When your teams lead developer still uses unsecured FTP to deploy websites, does not use git or svn and would rather build their own cms than use an off the shelf product.. I can't help but learn bad practice's as a junior!

I'd probably get laughed at for even mentioning "php"..

But what is the best framwork for getting started with PHP to build some complex site?

I have seen some here talking good about either codeignitor or laravel. Not sure.

So, a few friends of mine are starting a company. They'll be the CEO, CTO etc. The product is an app, with its corresponding back end in the cloud. They want me to build the app.
1. I'm not willing to take risk - spending time on that (not my idea at the first place & may or may not go well)
2. Not sure if I'll be benefitted. (Monetary / stake)
3. I have few projects at hand & have plans to learn something more/new (not narrow down only to apps).

What should I do guys?? Recommendations??

You see this? that's Apple fucking up! Uploaded a release and their server could not do its job correctly... Now I need to do another build just to be able to upload the app again

It's been processing for two hours, and there is another build that is processing for a week!

Not only their XCode is shit but also their iTunesConnect is shit, can they just rename the company to Shit, cuz that's what they seem to be best at doing...

PM:"I don't care how you dev build it, those are tech details, not my business, I only care about the business domain."

sounds familiar?

this is the main reason why so many projects failed, can you image any professional use such an asshole statement in other industry.

It's not really an 'app' or a 'start up' but over the weekend I build my own personal website:

neilmunro.herokuapp.com

I'll link all my other projects into this site.

My blog has a massive build up of posts that have a start but not released yet. It's like a guilt list every time I log in. Anyone else go through this?

How come Rust is the most loved programming language? I wanted to give rust a try in my windows machine and when I run `cargo run` or `cargo build` is shows: linker `link.exe` not found
Okay, how to fix it?
you need to download 8GB+ of bullshitty visual studio C++ build tools just to run a simple rust programs! WTF!

Previously when I installed rust, it didn't need all these bullcrap. why now?

Made a dockerfile for a reproducible build environment today. It's been a few months since I had this much fun working, so refreshing.

This counts as devops right? In that case I might take a better look at devops sometime in the near future, I think I might like it. I just did it out of necessity (didn't want to bloat my system with build tools and sdks) but I ended up liking it. For some reason devops seems exceedingly boring to me, which prevented me from looking into it until now, let's see if I can overcome my laziness and learn it.

Welcome to cross platform UI Frameworks, where getting build number of your app requires a plugin *cough* flutter *cough*

But it comes in handy to write small apps and not waste time writing twice lol

One little question!
If you build a website, is it necessary to make it also work on IE?
Not so many are using it and i don't see the point. Idk

I need to build multithreading in my brain, i want to learn at least 8 new code languages and techniques at the same time(not to mention normal languages)

"Our app needs a barcode scanner"
Fair enough, let's do this!
Android implementation using Zxing: 3 days. Ios: 9 days...
1. Dev iPhone has a subtle hw defect that doesn't let it connect to the computer anymore...
2. Our app-framework doesn't have a proper plugin for ios barcode scanners yet.
3. The first barcodescanner implementation is completely broken
4. Swift is not possible because of conflicting framework plugins
5. Build a plugin from scratch, using zxing objective c port.
6. Build problems with main app.
7. Fuck my life

I hate when build takes forever to complete and all my enthusiasm drains out.

The main reason I am not being productive.

client: i want u to build me this site and please disable javascript on it

me: thats not a very good practice but whatever

client: Remember... No Javascript...

...

i smiled because it took me 10 seconds to get the reference

If your the installation instructions for your software are to clone the repo and build from source then fuck you!

I want to use the thing not tinker with it. Make it available on apt or something

Don’t you feel like development with Android Studio is 50% figuring out why the f*ck is not building, or running, resetting cache, clean build, rebuild… etc, and 50% coding? Or is it my lack of experience?

Don't you just love it when project works in the IDE but as soon as you build the artifact and try to run that it just straight out refuses to run and does not spit out any errors 😐

Him: can we build something using which we can ensure that all the code related to all the rally user stories that have been tagged for a release, is part of the build?

Me: stares blankly

Him: you’re looking at me like I’m crazy. I’m looking for automating things to flag human mistakes.

Me (cursing silently): that’s why there are source control softwares and fucking code branches that get deployed and it’s not my problem if some shithead doesn’t merges his code to the central branch.

Spent an entire week working on XCode configurations for a react-native+swift+objc bridging project. Been failing builds all week. Finally i look over to see the glorious word Succeeded!

Then I realized it was the clean that succeeded, not the build. FFS

Cargo cult programming at its finest. I need to build a separate project twice, and restart visual studio to get this one to work.

Why? No one knows anymore and there is not user story for "Unfuck the dev environment" so we're not allowed to spend time fixing it.

Never understood why people bloody love their code. It's good to be happy about it, but
beats the zest for refactoring or any other sort of improvement.
Took me an hour to explain a senior dev why his changes introduced bugs in build.

Literally landed to the point reverting his commit and demonstrating the damn build to work.
To which he replies what if the data is corrupt
Damn it's not the data, it's your bloody senses.

Oh you're releasing a build today? Why not put these 7 other things in there... You know, while you're at it...

Does anyone enjoy their Windows development laptop? I fight with it so much. I would be happy to smack it hard with a hammer for all of the embarrassing things it has done in front of customers.

They are trusting me to build a multi million dollar system yet for some reason I can't join a Skype meeting, or my mic doesn't work, or the scaling on screen makes everything look oversized.

What am I supposed to say? "Trust me to build your system. I swear I'm not as retarded as I appear."

Dear devs from the past. Whoever of you thought iframe navigation, js-only frontend and flash were a good way to build a web UI -
well, it's not.
Regards, a person from the future who still can't properly use tabs with your app.

I was trying to build a simple 2D (drag the fish to eat other fish) game in JavaScript, cause why not there are already many libraries i will certainly find one for my use.

I'm already familiar with p5.js thanks to Daniel Shiffman and his coding train sessions.

I thought to build the game with p5.js with the play and 2Dcollide libraries, but it turns out they don't have a custom irregular sprite collision detection neither the other thousands libraries which are rotting on github.

Guess, I need to build somethig own my own.

And I also hate it, cause I have to design those fishes, the main game logic, this collision detection function and levels

I need a coffee with a coding partner

Build pipelines are awesome. What's not awesome is forgetting the 'pipeline' bit.

Sure, let's have each TeamCity job in the 'pipeline' build the deployable from different places! You must manually merge your code from dev to test to release.

What's that? The functionality working in dev isn't there in production? I wonder how that happened.

You know how we mock recruiters for not knowing anything...
I wonder if they have an app where they mock developers ... Probably not they'd need one of us to build it.

People who are too cool for old-and-busted OOP, but want to build microservices: networks of independent, encapsulated systems that look after their own data and communicate by passing messages.

Yup, that's totally not OOP you're doing there, kiddo.

Not sure if it is because my computer is older, but my demo app is taking forever for gradle to build! Now I can procrastinate without feeling bad! 😁😁

That moment when you build your app around a clients development API only to find out their production API responds about 8x slower... I'm sorry, it's not my fault your API server takes 4000 ms for a SIMPLE response. My app isn't the problem. Fix your shit.

When your building GCC from scratch and you finally after hours get the damn thing to begin to build it crashes an hour in because of some dependency that is the wrong version! why did the build script not include the check in the first 10 mins COME ON!!!!!!

When I'm all excited about spending 2 days to build a tool to solve a problem then find out this morning it's not actually needed... orz

could'nt build my react app, didn't understand the error Module not found: Error: Can't resolve '.... app.css'

worked on my macbook, didn't on my ubuntu server, took me 3 days until I realised the css file is named App.css and not app.css

wtf apple, wtf me

You are paid to build sht, not to answer questions.

- Eli the Computer Guy

I like style checkers. I really do. I may not agree with any of the rules they force upon the rules, but I will bury that for consistent code. That said, why, oh why, does this damn thing have to fail out the build rather than just warning me in the IDE. This fucker takes 15 minutes to build and when it fucks the build, it's a huge waste of time.

That said, anyone know how to get check style rules out of Maven and put them in IntelliJ? Myself and my team would love you forever.

So my company is preparing to do a deployment now... It's Friday 4pm...

And it's just yesterday that the build system was upgraded to a way newer version...

Luckily I'm not responsible of things go sideways 😅

It is not a rant!!!!!

I want to build my own pc for gaming on budget.
Like Under $1000

Please if anyone can recommend the components, write in the comments.

PS: I want a monitor too, outside the specified budget, shall I go for 144hz or a normal monitor.

So I'm having trouble keeping up with a game I'm working on and im struggling to find a new job, soooooo I decided fuck it and began concepting building a fantasy console with a custom backend language slightly modelled off of Assembly that you would then create a front end of...

Going to build it using GML and then build a GML front language because fuck it, why not!

Was looking to do a game collaboration as I can't build most of the ideas I have on my own and as always get stuck with people not being as knowledgeable and not making anything of people who are knowledgeable but look at other devs like scum, and then artists are never just willing to jump on board to make a game with 1 programmer... UGH!

Project won't build anymore ... Fuckkkk

FUCK YOU APPLE. I am trying to build an ionic app. Generating the certificates to fucking sign a DEVELOPER BUILD of an apple product is more pain than I thought possible. Does not help i dont own the apple computer i am trying to build on.

Working on a tiny new project, can't build DLL libraries from our old projects. Contain mixed version of .Net written in VB and C#
Asked our senior developer to help me out.
...
After an hour, he's still not able to build it.
...
So he basically implemented some features I needed on the fly...
😂
DLL hell is real!

Heads up, fellow tech nerds: if you're an Amazon Prime member and have ever wanted a Raspberry Pi, there's a good deal on a starter kit, 20% off for Prime Day! Search for "CanaKit Raspberry Pi 3 Complete Starter Kit".

I've always wanted to build a project with a Pi, and now mine's coming Friday! Build project suggestions?

Is there a server side framework that will build a website for me? I'm not a web dev, but I'd like to build a web app. What I'm looking for is a framework that will essentially be like a GUI framework and build the html and requisites. I prefer Python, but I'm still curious if it exists at all.

*Executed maven build*

Me: What's this "no tests found?"
Senior: Nevermind it's not important. Just check if your code works.

I love docker, but I must confess that I do not wait for the build looking to the screen 😅

Seeing as quite a few people here use Macs, I wonder.. How many have tried Hackintosh? Kinda curious about projects like iAtkos but don't feel like donating nor replacing my gtx 1080 for the purpose..

Not that I would want to build a "cheapskate" Mac workstation but rather for educational purposes.. :)

What's the worst kind of creature?

A self assured delusional fuck

One who thinks he knows everything

One who follows his "instinct", not worrying about data

One who sells his way of thinking as the best one

One who likes to build before thinking through. And calls it experimentation

One who thinks a dev is a dev. Not worrying about years of experience.

Build failed: "CL.exe has exited with exit code 5"

Thank you Visual Studio for the detailed error report about why the build fails! I can finally fix it!

(This is not fixable by running VS as administrator, also the output file is not running nor locked by some process)

Couple of advices from the QA guy

1) Don’t do the bare minimum bc the PM asks that. The people that write up the tasks/requirements don’t know their shit sometimes. Or even worse, they just copy paste what the client asked.
2) Confront the PM and ask more time to build something robust and scalable. When shit don’t work, people will blame the devs which is not fair. Is not easy but put your foot down when you’ve being asked to build shitty stuff bc the client want it ready now.

So today's conversation with my co-worker who built our build system...

Me:OS X build server is not building valid installs.
Him:What's the problem?
Me:The KEXT is not rebuild... I think that Jenkins isn't capable of updating the file because of the permissions the script set when you test compiled it manually... Could you please add Jenkins user to sudoers file or something?
Him:Yes of course, but what should I google?

WTF dude? Do you even think yourself? And for some reason no-one has acces to the build servers configs exept for him and he shows up like 3 times a week...

Can we build a simple Ai for the app so reposts don't happen like a 🤔 are you sure you want to post this, it was already posted

It's easy with text but not with images you'd only need AI for the gifs

Windows 10 build 2004... Update or not?

Last I heard this had a lot of bugs?

The moment when you forgot to git commit and push, and you decided to continue to work on new features and you could not roll back to the previous build...

I am fed up of developing websites backends and do not like working on frontend. What areas should I work in, where I can get to learn low level programming and build something to be proud of rather than shitty shiny websites with CRUD operations mostly dictated by frameworks and libraries.

I said a long time ago I wanted to build a website to share memes I collected with my gf

Today I built it, behold: meme4meme.me

Warning: mobile not friendly but doable

Single page apps? Why are there not more complaints?

Why are there so many ways to "build" these apps? Where are the standards?

Also, what do you prefer, framework wise? Please don't say Ember.

🚨 EMERGENCY ALTRANT UPDATE 🚨

Release Notes:

- Fixed critical UI hangs when scrolling up a rant's comments on slow networks
- Fixed critical UI hangs when loading the profile screen on slow networks

Today, I discovered that there is a huge issue with UI responsiveness when the device is connected to a slow (or subpar) network connection. I deemed this absolutely unacceptable and not in the standard I strive to achieve and scrambled to make a fix. The fix is now *live* and available.

In a week from now, I will expire the update I released yesterday (build 2070) in favor of this new one (build 2084). The schedule for expiring the build before yesterday's update (build 1607) is still scheduled to be expired on Wednesday, 11/23/2022, 6 days from the upload of this post.

The web dev front-end world is insane!!

webpack, babel, node, npm, sass, css, postcss, javascript, cypress etc etc.

It should be easier and easier to build web apps NOT harder and harder for each year!

Had a few days off. Talked to my buddy to build an app for practice. I sent him the app design and it's components after doing a ton of research and hr replies saying "that makes it too easy. I'm not gonna do it" Pissed me off like crazy!

Got a new job and I'm moving from academia to industry. Decided to step up my web dev game by using Netlify and GatsbyJS to build a static site blog.

Not a difficult task but it forces me to look at more current technologies.

When everyone thinks FE is easier, quicker, and less important than BE. Just because our fantastic UX people made you a high fidelity mockup in a day does not mean we can build the whole FE in a week.

This is why I'm returning to full stack.

The leader in a dev team should be the BEST DEVELOPER

Not the one with "leadership" or "strong ownership" skills and "team player" or "go getter" attitudes. This is euphemism for promoting someone just because you like them, or because of their charisma.

There are many other industries where charisma can play a role in leadership but software is not one of them. To build good software we need to be objective thinkers, not influencers.

Is the Android Build process getting slower with every update or is it just me who is experiencing that...

In the newest Android Studio Beta it went from 3m to 7m 🤦‍♂️
And my whole computer is blocked and not usable while compiling

It's really fun to not have access to the CI backend and keep only troubleshooting build crashes through a CI that takes 15min to run until it crashes :)))

1 diagnostic command == 1 pipeline run
1 typo == another run :)

it's been 2 sprints now. Still no luck

The worst part of getting ghosted or a rejection letter is that a scarcity mindset slowly build into you and there’s not much you can do about it.

Seeing success stories from others helps to boost morale a bit, but.. fuck!

50 build minutes per month? what is this, 1990? it's not like atlassian is scraping around for money either....

sheesh

and the rich get richer...

WELCOME CIRCLE CI! (almost TOO generous in my opinion)

To build wealth and create passive income that will make me finally quit my developer career. I'm passionate about being a developer but as a hobby, and not working for someone else who wants you to build something you disagree with.

Code got submitted for review... Syntax error.
Like wtf, your IDE even tells you about syntax errors... not to mention the failing build 😤

It's not necessarily code related, but ever since I was a kid in grade school, I've wanted a lab where I could solder and build and mix chemicals and build rockets and brew beer and blow stuff up and do all kinds of science that would ruin my carpet and/or otherwise go horribly wrong if done in my living area. One day soon (I hope), I'll have enough space to have a proper lab, just not today.

I daydream about that shit.

I don't drink, mainly because I'm not going to be 21 until November, but I have been extremely tired while programming before. One time it was like 4 in the morning and I just wanted to get my app to build successfully with no errors. I got that to happen, then went to bed. When I woke up seven hours later, I went back to work on the app some more, and I had no idea what I changed when I was borderline asleep to make the app build successfully. Go figure.

Imagine both having the build step AND not having a strong and reliable type system. What have we got ourselves into? Truly an asylum run by its inmates.

> Build project
> 13 Errors: Could not find reference
> Uninstall and reinstall NuGet package
> Build project
> 158 Errors: Could not find reference

> be me, working on small addition to enormous feature branch
> build system in flux due to reorganization started a month ago, not quite solid yet, but mostly works
> f_branch gets master merged into it sometime last week
> bossman makes "minor" change to build system and edits master to match
> doesn't merge changes into f_branch
> bossman goes on holiday for a week
> no permission to merge master changes into f_branch
> linter barfs
> npm barfs
> build server barfs
> mfw I can't even deploy to our testing environment

Just had my first lesson of the course Web Development. We got an explanation of what html, css, js and php are. Nothing bad ever happened from repeating what you already know, so yeah..

But then came the horror: We need to make a website in FUCKING WORDPRESS!! I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO BUILD A FUCKING WEBSITE WITHOUT A FUCKING SHIT CMS!!

So I showed the teacher my personal website and asked if I could use and/or extend that. They loved it, but I still need to build a website using fucking wordpress!! Not even using php! No, we need to build it with the UI of wordpress.

I know that's not even hard. It's just.. WORDPRESS!!

I guess I'll just have to live with it :/

One of my supervisors once said: "A computer without mutable state is just a glorified electrical heater."

Meaning that at some level you'll need some mutability.
A processor/memory unit without mutability is not worth very much, except if you want to build a new one for every clock tick...

What use is a frontend developer (having exclusively frontend development knowledge) that's not a designer / isn't good at design.
Sorry if I'm being harsh, but you're either a web developer, knowing how to build web apps (or websites, or whatever), or a UX developer or whatever, knowing how to do pretty (and usable and accessible and...) things. Or even both.
Lemme say it differently. You either come from a web design and build a frontend, or come from the development of an application (database, logic, architecture, APIs, etc., backend++) and build a frontend for it. Again, or both.
Not being able to design, and not being able to build a product, is just... nothing? You're in the middle.
Sorry, but I don't think you're a developer. Maybe a coder.

I’ve been dealing with low motivation for a few weeks now. Usually, I would take a break or build something fun, but I’m not even motivated for those things lately. Looking forward to everyone’s coping mechanisms for ideas.

Why are you paying me to architect your new stack if you're just going to mandate that I use Guice and Jersey "because that's what you're using already"? I'm sorry. You're wrong. Spring Boot is not a "dying technology". I'm not going to build you a servlet from scratch. Get fukt.

Yes, a rant
About iPhone
Not apple watch though

You can literally build a computer with far better specs with how much they are charging for it

iPhones are literally expensive PoS depencies for Apple Watches (actually tried a bunch. AppleWatch is years ahead it's competitors

Change my mind. You won't

Not a rant, a question.

So I am planning to build an ecommerce website for my business, is it sensible to make it from scratch and if not then what existing solutions I can use

Urghhhhhgg, really confused