Front-end developer's to-do list :
☑ Climb Everest
☑ Learn how to speak mandarin
☑ Become god
◻ Vertically center something in CSS

Client: Can I speak to the developer responsible for my website?
Developer: Speaking...
Client: You have a deep voice for a 5 year old.

>Do you speak Latin?
>Yes ofc
>Wow! Tell me something in Latin
>"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet...."
> :O

I speak two languages. English and Test data.

English: Hello!
Test data: adfadavsdfafDafdada

Yet another commercial seminar upset I won't give up a day of my time to fly to the UK to speak at the event for no payment or reimbursement for my travel.

But of course I should think about the exposure and networking opportunities! 😕

Me: chooses English for language, French for keyboard (because that's what my keyboard happens to be), speaks Dutch natively

Windows: oh great! You've told me to display everything in Windows in English. So I'll just show you the Windows store in Dutch, French and English (edit, and Russian in one of the Store tabs, for God knows why), all at once! Because who cares about your language settings anyway, right. You appear to be from Belgium from your IP, so obviously you speak both of these languages despite your personal preferences. Additionally, have some Candy Crush Soda Saga that you've never asked for.

And the application that you wanted to install - Ubuntu? Fuck you, you can't install it, for "reasons" that we've conveniently put in French, because you obviously speak that, right.

HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING GO FUCK YOURSELF, MICROSOFT?!

Yoda doesn't speak backwards... It's just asynchronous.

>be me.
>never understood jokes about linux users fucking shit up
>starts using linux
>day 3 manages to fuck shit up
>ooooohhh

So I just found out sorting by "algo" stands for algorithm.
I speak spanish and I thought it means "something" 😂.

The past 2 years where I work:

Me: hey let's use git instead of ftp!
Boss: should we?
Some time later: he is loving it...

Me: hey let's use trello instead of excell!!??!
Boss: huumm.. Dunno... Should we?
After much convincing: whole departments are using and loving it....

Me: hey let's move from rackspace to DO!
Boss: huumm... Convince me...
Year latter: everything smooth and muuuch lower prices... Managing 6 servers instead of one...

Me: UNIT TESTS!!!
Boss: nah, this but a waste of time...

For real? Get a grip man, I only encourage solutions tested ( no pun intended, or is it ) by me for a long time...

Dare you speak the Truth!

some alternatives to
readme's

seeme.jpg
watchme.mov
hearme.mp3

For the love of dog, if I select English on your online store, it doesnt mean I live in the UK, therefore show me prices in £ pounds, It just means I cannot speak German but I need to read English, but pay in € Euros!!! Can people please stop confusing Language with Location!!!!

I just started re-doing my entire setup because I finally want to build my true dream setup 😍

Gonna pick up two monitors with monitor arms tomorrow and searching for a network switch as we speak.

Any tips?

"I need you to teach me how to code, so people can't fool me around when they start to speak about apps"
-My boss

Last week we had a short seminar at work about 'listening skill.'

In that speaker gave an example how 'natural' leaders speak last in the meetings.

From that day we are having entirely silent meetings.

Now management is planning seminar on 'Speaking Up'

Went to Vietnam to attend a client meeting. The meeting was in Vietnamese. Oh, and I don't speak their language.

Name your stuff in English. Variables, functions, files. Everything.

You make the code completely unmaintainable for everybody that doesn't happen to speak your language otherwise.

I cringe every time I see someone in our company use German in his code. Just don't.

Didn't really have one to speak of. The first time a girl showed any interest in me, I asked her to marry me, and she said yes. That was 34 years ago, and we're still good.😁

Hotel offers no breakfast, towels are not exchanged unless you request every day, staff does not speak English, cleanness is clearly very broad definition...

WiFi is excellent.

5/5 would recommend.

You can kill me, but you can't made me to speak with this guuuyyy 😐😒

Got a new job as a Full Stack Engineer. Moving to a new city. Feeling extremely nervous and a bit scary (cause I don't speak the language). Sitting here browsing devRant to ease up and relax.

Does anyone else have this? I always try to adjust the way I say things to non-hostile/aggressive (talking about things I have very specific opinions on) because I'm somehow afraid of starting a heated argument. On here, at work, everywhere.

Going to try to just speak my mind, even if that would get me into more fights etc 😅

My toddler is still learning to speak. We know some numbers now. Today he was counting items on the table, and I quote [with LT->EN translation]:

ZERO
ONE
TWO
THREE

I guess I'm doing something right as a parent. Proud of him and myself .

Found the comment of the week improving my BigO skills on YouTube...

What is this rubber duck you speak of?

Do you speak to yourself out load when coding?

Recently I came upon this:
*image attached*
It's a guide of how to speak in a programer's language🧐.

Sitting in a germans-only company on a germans-only talk, listening to german presenters trying to speak english.
"...And sis is a Integräitontest, witsch is verry important [...] sis here is my sird maven plugin..." schnitzel.

Why for god sake do you funky hip devs mean you have to speak english to me?! Especially if you are simply not able to?

Some of my favorites:
My english is not se yellow from se egg but I hope you understand me.
Sänk ju for trävveling wis deutsche bahn.

Someone has similiar sentences?

When the sales guy tries to speak technical with us /facepalm

I’m so tired of egocentric lying management executive types.

Executive: You should be thinking about how you speak to the “leadership”.

Me: How about stop lying, blaming me for your own mistakes, and then blackmailing?

Guy has never heard ‘no’ in his life.

Seriously, иди на хуй.

First they came for the atheists, and I didn't speak out - because I'm not an atheist

Then they came for the university teachers, and I didn't speak out - because I don't like universities

Then they came for the gamers, and I didn't speak out - because I don't play videogames

Then they came for Open Source and I didn't speak out - because "anyone can fork it"

Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak out for me

I know I butchered the poem and I'm not comparing our social situation to the Holocaust (obviously), but I think it kind of illustrates that silence and gradually giving up ideals like justice and meritocracy can end up badly.

I also encourage you to read the actual poem it's pretty nice and food for thought.

You probably find the issue even if you don't speak German =)

I hate father's day.

Reminds me of 2 things:

1. My father is a fucking asshole.
2. My ex wife makes it damn near impossible for me to speak to my oldest child. State seems to do the same shit ever other state does to mothers that do this: nothing, zip, nada.

Fuck today.

Thanks for giving me the option?

Gonna let this one speak for itself.

- "no dad! this is my rubber duck. get your own" my daughter said.
okay.. she's 6 months old, so she can't really speak, but i could se it in her eyes.

!Rant
You know one of the things I love about this community is?
We have such a diverse group of people and even when those who don't speak English natively, they try to on the app as much as possible keeping it consistent. Even when they make some mistakes, no one's a dick about it (from what I've seen), which is awesome!

Last week one of my non-dev coworkers asked if any of us knew java and I was like "yeah, think I can help you" then she showed me her JavaScript issue and I was like:
"Wtf, people really do this shit..."

at the game jam afterparty everyone where trying to speak with my husband, instead of me. I saw human version of blue screens when was asked to list my project team and I didn't mention him.
- A-a-and what did Rik do?
- Oh, he didn't participate, he's a journalist and my +1 here. 😅

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Some people.... urgh!

Stakeholder: I need to know if these changes are possible.

Me: they should be. I’ll speak with the team.

Stakeholder: ok good because they just finished filming the TV ad for it.

.......

Why even ask?

I bet this guy feels real fuckin helpful, editing not only the question, but literally every answer in the entire thread. His contributions include:

Capitalizing names.
Adding italics to links (Really, he took the time and clicked "edit" just to do that to an answer)
Adding the word "The"

The fact that people spend their time religiously doing this makes my head spin.

Also aren't these edits bad? the title should be in google speak (i.e. short and broken English) so that they can be found from a search engine. I'm sure SO has some rules about the title or something, but I feel like it would be better in google speak.

Designer sends me mock up. I send out to client to review before we start to develop. (Mock up has lorem ipsum for paragraph text in one spot) A few minutes later client calls freaking out "Why is my whole site in Spanish, I don't speak Spanish!"

What is this "Social Life" you speak of? Is it another JavaScript framework? 🤔

Hey guys. I'm very proud to present my first book. Artificial Intelligence. A book that speak about convolutional neural network from the scratch and how artificial Intelligence improve our life. It's not a technical volume only but a place to know what there is inside. Now is time to correct it...

"she's so talented, she can speak five languages."

Hmmmm...Talking about languages.

Hey!
I'm new to devRant
I did not thought that there would be any community where people would speak a programmer's language (read humour) and would be so supportive and encouraging about almost anything. reddit is too informal and stackoverflow, too formal. devRant falls in the Goldilocks zone for programmers. Feels just right!
Thank You for making it so awesome!

When non-IT guys try to speak tech. For clients. Hilarity ensues :/

Why I hate my job: 18 out of 21 developers are Chinese daily smokers barely speak English.
Why I love my job: We build software/hardware to predict future earthquakes and save lives and hundred million or even billions dollars in damages. And of course make China super rich by selling it.

Sorry I can't speak of any of the projects my company is working on 😁

My team is quite international and although we speak English among ourselves, most people still comment their code in their mother tongue.
I have learn a lot from reading my colleagues code. Mainly curse words from all over the world. It's great.

When you've got a job you're happy with.

That's it in my book. Studied it and persuaded someone to hire you to do it? Enjoy that job, and it pays the way? Good work. Of course you'll likely go further than that in time, which is great - but there's no great magical point to "strive to" so to speak.

!rant

Trust no one.
The internet is not your friend, until you find stackoverflow and you get down voted.
That rm -rf / won't make you server faster.
System32 is needed.
Yes, that is a package manager, you don't need to write more ccode
Do not write commets on languages that only you speak, the team does not speak in latin.
Paint is the best engineering tool.
Keep a stress ball nearby.
Your client is always right, unless they mess with your coding skills.

True story.

First, they came for those who Open Source'd code.
And I did not speak out, because my code could never be used by anyone out of the company, anyway.

Then, they came for the Trade Unionists.
And I did not speak out, because I was not in a union.

Then, they came for those who worked from home.
And I did not speak out, because I was granted an exception.

Then, they came for Scrum Masters and other Agile practitioners.
And I did not speak out, because fuck those spreadsheet jockeys productivity thespians.

Then, they came for in-house Data Analysts and Data Engineers.
And there was no one left to speak out for us.

Yeah, folks. The day finally came. I'm officially updating my LinkedIn and putting a ridiculous sash under my picture, "open to work". The Layoffs came for me, too.

I just realized something in my work place, I'm the only one beside the intern (lol) on my team who is proficient in english.

I was helping a coworker debug some issues and she couldn't understand the OBVIOUS error message telling her precisely wtf was wrong and the exact line...

I know something for sure... In our area English is basic, learn it or gtfo. I might as well conduct half the interviews in English from now on.

A month ago, I moved to Germany for work from Taiwan. People here are mostly nice and firendly. But if you don't speak German, there will still be lots of problems especially for official paper works.

But most importantly I got really cool and talented colleagues and a challenging job. Which makes me happy at least in work days.

Uh... isn't 58% **exactly** "about half"??

"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."

He was a nice guy, skilled, reasonable, a lot of knowledge.
Until he said "I'm going to assign a girl to your project, BUT don't worry, she is very good"

I was about to jump, but handshakes and further jokes went on and I wasn't able to speak up.
Plus he is the CEO assigned by the investors to be our new software provider.

Puking.

Code reviewer keeps removing my comments saying, "This will only be read by other programmers, the code should speak for itself".

<hyperbole>
This is the exact opposite to back in uni where for every line of code they demanded 2 lines of comments!
</hyperbole>

** Programmers Speak **

Don't know much about real life,

But Relationships in Laravel are important.

It happened.
It finally fucking happend, I wish it didn't, but it happened.

I was in my very first call through zoom were I didn't even speak and didn't even really need to listen.

About 1h.

Everything could have been an e-mail, of course

Goals for the next 100 weeks eh?
- Teach my 8yo and 11yo to be awesome java coders
- Take my 2yo to her first day at school
- Grow my department in work to over 40 people worldwide
- Start and finish my Masters degree in Big Data*
- Speak at 5 major international conferences (1000+ ppl)

Boss: I don't know what you're saying, it's all Yoda speak.

Me: Idiot, you are.

How many "normal" people (we as programmers are special) languages do you speak/understand?

I know English, Italian, some French & Spanish and some Slavic language like Macedonia, Serbian, Croatian and Slovenian. What about you?

Docker and kubernetes might be about the biggest boost in productivity that we have had as developers in the last fucking century and I can't speak well enough for theres technoligies.

FUCK ME this shit is good, this shit is great and this shit is NEEDED.

FUCKING LEARN THIS TECH

It's funny how bad I speak about Microsoft, but I often watch their videos, it's like a toxic relationship.

The difference between small and large companies is astounding when applying for jobs.

Small: "What can you do?"
Big: "What do you look like and speak like?"

Blue pill: master LITERALLY every computer language on earth and be able to use them to their full potential to create LITERALLY any idea that comes to you.
Red pill: master LITERALLY every linguistic language that exists and be able to speak fluently with every human on earth
...........................
I picked the blue pill and people thought I'm weird.

Stand up on Zoom...
Day 1: No one knows who will speak their daily tasks first or last
Day 45: There is mutual order which appears out of the blue and everyone has their own sort of roll number for speaking in stand-up meeting😂

I study and work as a tech support guy in a company and the head of Android development wanted to speak to me : want to help us with some changes in the app? Now I am a junior Android developer. Not even mad 🤔

its problems. tricky Async has

When a tech loses his way into the development dungeon:
"PROGRAMMING MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!"

We are on a tight deadline and EVERY FUCKING TIME I see, my fucking boss is developing new features for the product... WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?

1 year and a half ago, I quit the job where I spent almost 6 years; My first job after that was as a freelancer for certain company here in colombia, but after sometime I learned that freelancing for local companies is not well payed at all, so I decided to try to work with toptal(a pre-vetted freelancer platform)

So the process included a first interview with a HR person, it was a british lady that mopped the floor with me(she wasn't rude at all but I felt horrible) 'cuz I couldn't speak english good enough, and then I was rejected... Some time down the line I created a rant for anyone that were willing to speak sometime to practice english conversations. @jesustricks and @orhun answered and in fact I got to speak with them.

@amyshackles spoke with me too, I reached her out over linkedin 😊

Just wanted to say thank you, finally I got a job offer with a nearshore company, you helped me a lot there, speaking with you people gave confidence and more knowledge. Again thank you, love you guys.

PS: you don't have to love me back

We should start with demystifying tech...
For most people, modern phones, tablets and pcs are magical rectangles...
The law of Clarke says, that every sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
And we have to tackle that.
In geography, we should talk about gps and glosnas
In English or foreign language lessons, we should speak about translator bots and language patters/abstractions
In physics, we have to understand the measurement devices
In politics, we have to speak about licenses of use, we have to speak about netneutrality as a political concept, we have to speak about snowden, shadow brokers, the vault, all the laws some shady imperial beauroticians pipe into our life.
Trojans used by the government and so on...
In cs concepts of operating systems, abstractions and networking should be taught, instead of using excel.
That could be done in math...
Well... No one should have to work with excel.
In maths they could use Wolfram alpha, rlang and gnupolt for example

FML, the day I dreaded has come!
We got a client that is from our country.. meaning they speak what I speak, but I do not type what they read..
I hate writing emails in my native language and with proper grammar.. I haven't done that since I finished with high school and they're full of typos.. Even after spellcheck and grammar check and everything it's faaaaar worse than my English.. fuzck!

Speak about UX.
You got be a true asshole to design a barbell like this 🤦‍♂️

me no speak the english

I was just wondering guys. If all developers speak English.

By speak English I mean easily able to communicate at a basic level because from what I know... all programming language had their base vocabulary in English language.

Just wondering!?

I sent an applicant to the wrong floor when I bumped into him and was asked how to get there, after just having completed an interview with the company he was heading to.

Also, I told him the HR lady was a little deaf so he needs to really speak up when addressing her.

I really wanted that job.

"with that said" is the most overused phrase in meetings.
Not sure if it‘s a just a German thing when we speak English.

I just look at the calendar and notice I have 3 days to do what I was supposed to do in 3 weeks.
Coffee, music and for the love of God don't speak to me

Seems like "Google Magic" and I have a disagreement (nb: this is the 4th of Snyk auto-follow up mails and I have no idea why they speak to me in French)

Three of my least favorite things people say: and google is basically teaching people to speak this way. : /

A friend asked me how people who don't speak English learn to code...he said, "Do they have to learn English first?"

😂

I told him, "See, you're halfway to being a programmer!"

The only Parseltongue I speak is Python!
:)

Random but say what you want about Linus Torvalds in his past or now but you can't deny it is insanely enlightening to watch speak...

The dev usually sitting next to me is on vacation. Our senior dev is on vacation. Team analist, on a plane to a Greek beach as we speak. Both architects the company employs, gone for another two weeks or so. Lead analist, you guessed it, on vacation.

I'm enjoying the peace & quite for now but god forbid I run into any problems these next coming weeks.

When I started learning Java, I thought my lecturer was asking me to speak in Indonesian

I speak for many when I say: "I'm tired of arrogant devs".

Been a Debian and Ubuntu user since the age of fifteen (21 now). Let's start a new journey! Installing Fedora as we speak 😀

What about "Man page"? You sound like a sex-throlling maniac and I demand that you blacklist the term also from the dictions on your doc 🤪 (Oh fuck, did I just used the word 'blacklist'?) *whispers* Sorry Jim, I actually meant 'darklist' the word 'Man page'.

Product people always have something to say in a meeting 🤦‍♀️, regardless of beneficial or not. They just need to speak. It's like they have an urge inside to pee, and they have to let it go in a meeting. Always.

L33t-speak

what do you think of job ads with 1337 speak? yay or nay? 😄

The Post Bank add says:
"4pply 1f y0u c4n r34d 7h47"

All that hypocrites call that "beauty" competition "Miss Universe" but the media is silent about how they never let ᔮᑯ ᒐᓪᕕᐊᓐᑭ from ᐋᓪᐸ ᑲᓐᑐᕆ and ᚛ᚑᚌᚐᚋ᚜ from ᚛ᚈᚑᚋ ᚄᚉᚑᚈᚈ᚜ to even enter the competition. Speak about equality. Rename it to "Miss Earth" then you racists, smh.

So today at the beginning of the class, our teacher asked us to write a function that translates a given string to "leet speak" (basically having to replace every character to another).

Some used python dictionnaries, some used arrays...

And the two people arround me wrote a program with a condition for EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER.

It kind of made me wanna die or kill them 😥

What is this “successful project” of which people speak? It is an elusive creature which I have not hitherto observed.

Nowadays I develop cross platform app, when I speak with an Android or iOS developer I feel like I'm summoning the satan.

Ladies and gentlemen, Introducing Rezn0v-Jr, this guy was born(created) yesterday on an underperforming device later shifted to my primary device. And is not complete machine learning type. He is Pythonborn (eh.. not Dragonborn). For now he can't understand human response but only can speak (print) few sentences.

PS- Chemistry exam on Tuesday
Update- I dropped my phone again right after post finished uploading.

From now on I decree that we should all call programming languages her. We should use the pronoun her like you would use for a boat.

"Aye she's a fine lass indeed sir, able to handle scale with grace and charm.."

Also, to speak with a Scottish accent.

I have hereby decreed it, it shall be so.

Public Service announcement:

If one of your co-workers asks: "Hey, do you have a sec?"

DO NOT reply: "Yeah, I have tons of secs"

Sincerely,
Someone who doesn't think before they speak

Others: I can speak English, Spanish, Chinese, Russian, etc...

Me: I can speak Gujarati, Hindi, English, Javascript, Php, Python, Java, XML, Rust, ReasonML, etc...

Manager: Speak with PersonA about ProjectX. Get back to me with feasibility and timescales.

Me: *speaks with PersonA about ProjectX*
Me: *does a few trials for more info*

Manager: Why did you not tell me you were looking into ProjectX with PersonA?

This is 2 days apart ...

I honestly do not understand why people speak so badly about PHP(that's the general vibe I am getting from all these different platforms) or maybe it's because I am still new at it I am yet to find out the reason.

How many languages do you speak?

Dare not to speak against vuejs

I hate the term "full stack" as it sounds like uneducated recruiter speak, but then can't think of anything better.

Manager asked suggestions to make any changes to work culture, because of the overall productivity issue of the team. The culture was so much toxic that no one was ready to speak.

"try harder and smarter, we will do a training if needed"... A coworker replying to another coworker (non dev tech support guy who never used postman in his life) in public chat... And I can't help but think that he is implying that the tech support guy is stupid.
KNOWING POSTMAN DOESN'T MAKE YOU SMART!!! AND YOU NEED TO SHOW SOME RESPECT AND LEARN HOW TO SPEAK!!

When you are so into C# that you even speak it...

Translation:
Languages
- German
- English
- C Sharp

I love when searching for the error gives you results like this on the top of the first page on google. As you might imagine I don't speak Chinese

I wonder if it's possible to become a project manager or a scrum master without habitually incorporating the phrases, "circle back," "reinvent the wheel," and "one-stop shop," in your daily vocabulary.

It's official, my coworkers have a hard time understanding the logic of debugging.

!dev

Joys of living in Switzerland:

We have four fucking national languages (english not included), with around 20 dialects of swiss german, most of us only know their origin language, yet stupid companies think we only speak one and assume it's fine to just send their filth in a language we may not understand.

Filter IPs and don't send your shit to regions that don't talk the language, or go and pay some translators (yes, they're expensive, but hey, you chose to sell/promote in Switzerland, deal with the fucking it). We are lazy and uninterested in your shit, so open your wallet if you want to reach us.

And it's not like I can't speak German, I'm just pissed for this inconsideration.

Ffs.

They tell you to be creative and share your thoughts but when you do, they say that you speak very much and you should not go out of the league.
You know what?
FuckOffToHell!

When you are searching a solution for your problem so desperately that Google sends you to the Russian version of Stackoverflow.com (and you don't speak Russian).

Can I complain most of the memes or jokes in this platform have been overused

I'm usually not the one to speak but sometimes I just see overused jokes or those stolen from Reddit.

Have some originality

(and before you ask, my own memes are on Reddit as well. I repost my own memes, not someone else's)

Why do people push me to publicly speak? I'm an introvert.
........
I may have said yes to every meeting from now until the near future, changing that right now.

Spent 1 month creating a piece of software for a school project and when I speak of it to someone on the IT business they tell me:
"Really? Once you start working you'll be using software that'll allow you to do something twice as hard in about 2 hours"

Serious question for anybody who has dared to understand manager-speak: Do you know what a 'Task Rewind' is? We have it in our documentation, but google gives me no help as to what the hell it could mean.

...Or should I just take my original gut feeling and classify this as yet another word for the clown dictionaries?

So we just had our GitLab moment... Some dev ran a script that is nuking our db as I speak...

At least it was uat but... fck all that data has to be restored from somewhere..... By someone....

My sister: "I didn't know that you were so fluent in geek"

I aim to please!

We claim to be more connected than we ever were, thanks to technology. But how connected are we really? We barely speak to each other anymore. It’s easier to send emojis on Whatsapp than it is to meet someone and express the same emotions we try to convey via smiley faces.

I think I speak for everyone when I ask, "How did the conversation go between @trogus and @dfox when they were setting out on creating this app?"

So yesterday I discussed how I am using speech to text to do approximately 50% of my rants. I am now doing a growing percentage of my outlook emails by voice as the human-computer voice interaction is pleasing and very natural. I have even named my iPhone 'little jumpshot' today.

Today I experimented with text to speech so that my rants are automatically read back to me before I send them. Some decent results.

In settings - general - accessibility you will find voice over (not recommended - be careful). Below that is Speech - speak selection or speak screen options.

Speak selection allows you to highlight text to be spoken. Too much human interaction for my purposes of walking hopefully not tripping be looking down. Using up my nine lives 😐

Below voiceover is - Speak screen - which allows you to pull down the screen with two fingers to speak what is on the screen. This will read the rant or of there are multiple rants on the screen it will read those as well.

It works but it will take a bit of getting used to. It also requires a few clicks here and there.

My goal is to interact with devRant fluidly 100% by voice. Just talking to 'little jumpshot' and him creating and posting all of my rants and reading all the other rants developers post.

For a few days experimenting I am satisfied with the progress but there is a long way to go.

Hopefully, in the end, this may help some people. Any ideas are very welcome.

Musk's OpenAI beat the top professional Dota2 players in the World. That's pretty impressive. AI has a lot of potential for the future. BTW, any Dota2 players here? My son complains that he ends up on Teams that don't speak English. Dota2 can be modded. Imagine a mod that interfaces with Google Translate and does on the fly translation. Beyond my experience level. Way beyond.

!dev

I'm always torn at the gym:
As a former rower, it gives me almost physical pain to see people on the rowing machines, flailing around and almost falling off sideways (rowing is an elegant, albeit masochistic sport).

However, as a swiss person, strangers are my natural predator and might eat me alive if I dare speak to them...

Pirate speak one-liner

text.replace(/[bcdfghjklmnpqrstvzx]/ig, letter => `${letter}o${letter.toLowerCase()}`)

I am Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be 'Sir.' Do you maggots understand that?

Working at a big-ish tech is like a completely different world.

Do we even speak the same words?

Why can't you say agree like a normal person. Who the frig made "++" a real life word (is it a verb/noun? wtf is it)

and then all those other acronyms like OKR, P1,p2,p3

Who talks like that?

Please don't mutter your ideas on calls or trail it off mid sentence to mouse level's of sound 🐁.
It's so awkward having to ask what you've said every few moments.
*Especially* if we work together all day all week

N.B. speakers on max volume + auto-captions are already on so I can piece together what you said.

Conversations are so difficult otherwise

That is all

What are these days you speak of? It's been dark in here for a while.

When you post a web designer job announcement for U.S. citizens living in the U.S. who speak and write perfect English and 75% of people who apply have terrible English and either outright lie about their citizenship and location or beg for the job in spite of the requirements.

Dear Sir, Mam, and anything outside and in-between.

If you feel like making a programming tutorial, go ahead. I encourage it. But please, please for the love of god make sure that your videos title and your video is in the same language.

Sincerely, the people that don't speak your language

When your boss and his pet employee start rambling business speak about some feature they expect you to figure out even though they don't understand it.

-release an app (legally)
-stay healthy + avoid sickness
-speak conversational Mandarin
-build passive income (optional)
-get out of toxic work relationship/s (optional)

i want to speak about the meaning of life because i don't understand it

reply here if you are interested

exactly two years back I joined my current company, it is spanish company and I speak only english. each document that was there in the welcome kit was in spanish, including design and architecture documents. also coding guidelines. it was a night mare as comments in the code were also in spanish. it took me three days to come to terms with reality.

remote work is so much better for me.. i think something is wrong with me because little things my co-workers do like clearing their throats, them slamming their keyboards and sometimes the way they laugh or even the way they speak... pisses me off so bad. OMG!!! even putting on headphones does not help. I wish i could ignore all that.

CTO: We can't keep getting egg on our face letting these simple mistakes through. We value your expertise, please speak up.
QA: This looks fucky, should it look this fucky?
*crickets*
Dev: That is dangerously fucky.
QA: Ticket time.
PM: Hey Dev, I know it's not your AOE, but I need to assign it, and you spoke on it so here's your ticket.
Dev: *dies inside*

Don’t ring me up all nasty asking why these other domains that you never told me about don’t “work”... and you don’t have dns access ‘cos you don’t know what it is and I need to speak to some geezer from another company that you fired. FUCK OFF, now I have to do some whois fishing to find out the shit you are blaming me for.

I am at arraia, it's Portuguese, I neither understand nor speak.

Brining the funny by letting my selfie speak by itself. :)

Happy holidays.

Never speak lowly about your profession or position to anyone. At best, no one cares. At worst, you lose an opportunity to improve that position.

Have pride in your work, irrespective of how much it sucks. If you don't have pride, pretend to while talking about it to others.

Rants are fun to read, but no one respects someone who rants about their own profession.

Getting oversea calls all of a sudden. If you’re trying to scam me, at least speak the local language and check local time.

Talking to me in a language I don’t understand at stupid o’clock doesn’t help your case...

When your client asks you to pick a color that will "pop" and "speak volumes" 😊🔫

Fave IDE: Rube-Goldberg Distributed Physical Editor (RGDPE)

- 3x5 note cards, rite aid brand
- pilot rolling ball gel pen
- white out
- a scanner with OCR, email
- a raspberry pi running a local email server and dns
- a raspberry pi running an SMTP receiver and language service and a handler to invoke the compiler
- a speak and spell to print out the language service results

Why: why not?

When your the IT guy and you computer is broken

hey, can i please speak to myself?

I just worked on server stuff for so long I feel like I can speak bash and nginx config better than english

I turn 21 in a month, and I still have no idea what I want to pursue as a career after university or how to get there.
Sure its two years away but I feel behind already.
Also how does one go about getting an internship in the UK?
I've yet to speak to anyone from any dev industry and it's beginning to concern me.

Yo guys, all the ranting aside, I just wanted to remind you that you ALWAYS have a choice, that you should speak up when something bothers you for too long and that you should be aware about all your strengths and unique skills! Just as a reminder ✌️

Been trying to update some really old C++ piece of code.
And all the comments and variable names are in FR*NCH.
Apparently they didn't had accents in the keyboards back then, because they used stars instead.
Makes it really hard to tell commented code from French comments.

Obs: I don't speak nor can read French. Neither does anyone in my team.

Am I the only person who draws equal sign between "being politically correct at work" and "being politically corrupted"?

It's really depressing to watch shits not getting done in the department because competent people refuse to speak up their minds and deliberately not putting efforts to make a change in order not to offend incompetent authorities for being worse than useless!

I'm working on a Web API for retrieving informarion of some sort (can't speak as it is a work in progress😝).
Before starting to work on this project all the experience I had was Desktop (C#, VB) and some SQL but now I'm learning so much more: REST, Asp.net core, nosql, GraphQL and more.
Even if I can't finish this project, still what I'm learning is even more valuable

I'm sick of a toxic soup of ways to test frontend.

Throw in vitest, jest,jsdom, testing library, @testing-library/jest-dom, together and you are left with n^2 ways things can be configured.

Why on earth do I need to import anything to do with Jest when I am working with a vitest project.

I think such tools are made to get invite opportunities to speak at conferences.

So I've been using the command "poweroff" to shut down my Linux system, tried searching only if this is safe or not, mostly people just speak of "shutdown -h now" or something like that. So my question is: Is it safe to shut down Linux using the "poweroff" command?

Sometimes you want to scream but you can't,
sometimes you want speak about how fucked up this society that we live in is... how the fundamental concepts of our lifes are wrong... How some things just don't work in the present... but there is no one who would listen to you... and even if they did, there is nothing they can do to change anything until the whole world listens.

How well do you speak git? Name all commands you know how to use 😄:

init, add, commit, remote, cherrypick, push, rm, rebase, reset, submodule.

Did I miss something?

We're having a training session on how to speak with clients because we're getting feedback that we seen annoyed in our emails.

Probably my fault, not that I mean for that to bleed through into my replies

rant = Music
Watching the Hits for this month...
FUCK
One good music for every 10.
So many new Artists ... And so many that suck. Makeup and Autotuning does not make a Singer.
Even some that can't even really sing or even speak right.
Anyone know Bebe Rexha? WTF? Just an example of a "singer" that can't even speak properly...

Whiteboard the concept, tell a friend who hypes me up, never speak of it again.

How do polyglot programmers successfully use languages?

I write code with second languages like how I speak a foreign language (e.g German). I think of what I want to say in English, then translate it to German.

How do my fellow devRanters do it?

I'm sure I speak for a lot of us when I say: LET ME HAVE A LIFE!!!

Management treating us like candy machines, wanting more and more features, learn this, learn that, learn complex material. HEY I'D LIKE TO ENJOY MY TIME AFTER WORK YA KNOW.

etc.

I shit you not: Today, a random recruiter phoned a company I work for, asked to speak to me, and then tried to offer me a job :| .Wtf is wrong with you people?! I'm not searching for a job anywhere... Turns out they found me on Linkedin...

Talking to a vendor in China to source some hardware modules. The engineers don't speak any English, and the sales rep doesn't know a serial port from a monkey's ass. Shortest game of Chinese whispers 😥

btw boobies because hair color and because sometimes I speak about myself in feminine gender just to mess with people (and because mentally I am probably a woman even tho physically I look like a man - shit happens)

LFS Update: Well I fixed my perl issue last night and today my goal is to do a bit of level grinding so to speak on LFS by trying to finish ch 6. I'm a little over halfway through so I only got about 40 more packages to compile from source 😄

I have legitimately identified an 9 figure (possibly more) market with 1. massive demand, 2. sufficient supply, 3. literally, I kid you not, zero companies in the field. No regulations to speak of.

The overhead is trivial and it is very much a network-effect based market.

No I am not joking. Yes this is real.

What do?

edit: 9 figures not 8. Yes it's that big.

E-Mail from client who couldn't add the WhatsApp link in her website:

"so if I click the link they can directly send the message through WhatsApp?"

Why the fuck would you click your own link to message yourself?
How is it that people can barely speak and still be a business owner?

I speak c# like I speak Spanish. It works and I get by, but it ain't pretty.
(currently living in Mexico)

People who speak in puzzles during code reviews - fuck you! Just say what you want to say without being philosophical about it. Want me to change the name of a function? Let me know, instead of ranting on about some other shit. I should not have to ask you twice for every god damn comment what you mean, you prick. It’s just annoying and a waste of time.

Been writing a webcrawler to be integrated into Rails and possibly Phoenix (in the future)..
Friend A: Heyyyy. Woah. You speak Latin?
Friend B: Dude he's a hacker bruh.
Friend C: Omgomgomg can you hack J****'s FB?
Me: Guys. It's just code. (¬_¬)

"We are interpreters – not merely translators between sender and receiver. What we say and how we say it makes a difference. If we want to speak to people, we need to know their language. In order to design for understanding, we need to understand design." - Erik Spiekermann

Dev management high muckety muck: "Even though I never speak to or communicate with any of you personally, my Jira charts indicate that you are sub optimal." Absentee managers can't help but be dickheads.

Its hidden skill time.

At work, as a method of concentration I write code while singing gangnam style or some other similar song.

Perfectly and with no discernable accent even though i am Mexican American.

I also do it with Stromae songs(because I love french, not as much his music)

This is something that I learned in Portuguese class at hs :V which eventually led me to be able to survive conversations with my friends from Brazil without getting lost.

Languages are cool, just wish I was able to properly speak more. I love languages, but just stick to English and Spanish since those are the only ones that I speak fluently.

Wife speaks french, and she has tried teaching me even though I really can't get the hang of it just yet. Instead she showed me how to read it.

German and Japanese are on the list as well.

Whether you want to make friends at Annenerbe’s underground ice cities in Antarctica, or chill with Irene Roomberg on world govt. superblimp, remember that they only speak Sanskrit or Ithkuil. They respect Latin though, and for me that was enough, as it’s way easier to learn.

Why do *popular* devs prefer OSX over Ubuntu, Mint or other linux distribution? Don't they like to support open source? I just picked a MBA and have spent time with it but I still prefer Ubuntu.

Note - By popular, here I mean those devs who are noteworthy on Twitter, Github etc. I won't speak names obviously.

Does anybody else feels like scrum's daily is utterly useless when working day by day on site?

I mean, we talk to each other either way, all day long. Scrum acting like this is the 15 min of whole day we will have the chance to speak...

Why Google? Why?! Why do you always asume my language and what the fuck do you really think I can only speak one language? Fucking prick Google.

Went for an interview yesterday, the interviewer was trying to speak in British accent, it was really bad. I was cringing the whole time.
Trying really hard to forgot then whole awful experience... :D
I hope someone tells the poor guy, how bad that accent sounds.

Please don't speak if you don't have anything of value to add. Professional world is not classroom where you get marks for class participation. There's this guy in my team who is supposed to be developer but acts like analyst/PM, talks shit, mostly repeats what other have already said. There's no single meeting where he hasn't spoken or added anything valuable. Hate him.