ON MONDAY

TL: Why the hell you require a month to integrate this engine?

Me: It will take that much time, can't help it.

TL: it can be done within a week.

Me: Then you do it.

TL: Ok I will show how it's done in a week.

ON FRIDAY

Me: What's the status on that integration?

TL: Oh yeah about that, you have to carry it ahead, I have some monitoring to do.

Me: Ok, give me the repository access, I will carry it ahead.

ME OPENS REPOSITORY.

There's only a new controller file with nothing it.

"Don't deploy on Friday" is a public admittance that your company either has no CI/CD pipeline, or that all your devs are retarded rhesus monkeys who only wipe their ass if the product manager wrote it as a spec.

If the saying was: "Don't port your whole API to GraphQL on a Friday", or "Don't switch from MySQL to Postgres on a Friday", I would agree.

But you should be able to do simple deploys all the time.

I deployed on Christmas & New Year's eve. I've deployed code while high on LSD, drunk-peeing 2 liters of beer against a tree after a party. I've deployed code from the hospital while my foot was being stitched up. On average, we deploy our main codebase about 194 times a week.

If you can't trust your deploys, maybe instead of posting stupid memes about not deploying on Fridays, you should fix your testing & QA procedures.

That moment when your coworker puts on loud music, you're wondering if your boss is going to like this and then your boss turns his music twice as loud and the two start a battle of who can play their music the loudest.

Yup it was friday again!

My wife = Best wife

Her: Is that the motherboard and CPU you wanted?

Me: Yes, you get alot of power for the money (Ryzen 7 1800)

Her: Alright, you should order thoose things next week if they are not on sale this friday

I accidentally open eclipse (Java code) during a demo.

The same smart ass Einstein's cousin business guy : Oh that is SQL, I have learnt it.. it was too simple for me that is why I decided not to be a developer

Me : You are lucky it's Friday

passionately making love on Friday morning.

Cellphone buzzes for WhatsApp notification, ignored.
Call ignored, SMS ignored, again call, ignored.

She : whose that bitch calling you?
Me : it's no one important.
She : Checks WhatsApp, message from CTO, server crashed.
Me : Umm, darling, I need to fix this.

It's been 2 days she hasn't answered my call after she left.

That moment when your too busy and concentrated programming and your wife asks you for the credit card and you give it to her .... to later realize she never cam back with that glass of juice and you remember today is black Friday..... ohh shit!! 😲

Amazon was the first company that adopted the hybrid model: working from office Monday to Friday and working from home on Saturday and Sunday.

Last Friday, because of a stupid ass shitty engineer who constructed a footpath in the most shitty way I Sprained my ankle in one of the dents in it. But the story about this pizza picture is that my friend and I had planned a trek on a Saturday which obviously got cancelled. He saw how pissed I was he went online on Domino's website, changed input in a JSON file on one of Domino's wheel spinner which got me the maximum discount available there and I bought the pizza. He did that multiple times. Some Relief there. 🥂🍕
#Pizza_makes_everything_better

Last half hour of last Friday my Cinnamon desktop started fucking up every time I booted after like 20 seconds of uptime.

Logs said something about xorg errors but after like 15 reboots I said fuck it.

Was quite nervous this morning because of that issue and possibly not being able to open a terminal for installing a different DE before everything started to get screwed again.

Booted up. No freezes. No errors. It just works.

I guess my computer needed weekend too 😋

Fell like I can finally vent this now I've calmed down.

Me: You've fucked the tree again
Junior: No I haven't
Me: It says there "Fixing merge conflicts"
Junior: Well it wasn't me I wouldn't have done a merge
Me: It has your name next to it...
Junior: Well that commit wasn't there a second ago
Me: it's dated for Friday...
Junior: Well if you hadn't committed to master and blah blah blah
Me: We'll if you knew know to use git we wouldn't have this problem.

!Rant

Last Thursday: solicitation
Friday: got a call that I'm hired
Tuesday: signed contract

I did it, I just got my first job!

tl;dr stupid clients with their stupid requirements.

Client: (on Monday) hypothetically could you implement "A"?
Me: (on Monday) yeah I could do that by Friday, let me know if you want me to start it.
Client: (on Thursday) hey remember we talked about "A" well do "B" instead and I'll need it by Friday still.
Me: "B" is completely different than "A" and will take probably twice as long.
Client: but you told me you could do it by Friday.
Me: ............ I want to smash your face.

god knows why the code that works on Friday does not work on Monday

This is actually an advice given to me:

"Only ever release your code on a Friday, preferably after 6pm. If you're not confident enough to do that, your code is not ready."

Who says dev doesn't require courage.

So where to start... Let me preface this by saying I am a Software Architect for C# and do 99% dotnet development.

I just received a phone call from our Director of Development asking me to look at adding a feature for SSO with our companies main development project, which is written in PHP. I hope I made the correct changes but since I am not a PHP dev... I am not 100% confident in my code.

Now I am writing this as we are making the deployment Friday, December 29, 2017 at 5:00 pm. I should add that I am going on vacation for the next week.

So let me summarize... I am not a PHP developer, the non-PHP developer is making PHP changes on a Friday Night, and before a long weekend and before going on vacation.

I would like to point out that I said I was not 100% comfortable with this... but well this is what they wanted. I am not even sure what really to say about this though.

Mgr: Do a talk about that library you're using.

Me: Sure but I'm just learning about it now maybe when I have a better understanding of it.

One week later.

Mgr: I booked a department wide mandatory lunch and learn this Friday for your presentation.

It's not Friday and I'm pissed.

Just wanted to say that, thank you for listening.

A new urgent request today…

“ITS URGENT WE NEED THIS CODE IN IMMEDIATELY I DONT CARE IF ITS FRIDAY WE NEED IT THERE BY ONE HOUR”

“What is happening?”

“ADD THIS CODE TO OUR CODE”

(A snippet to track marketing conversions from fb)

“Uhhh it’s Friday and our product won’t release to the public for 2 months anyway?”

“YOU DONT GET HOW URGENT IT IS, MUST BE THERE IN AN HOUR OR WE’LL LOSE DATA”

“O….k”

Spoiler: data said that today we had no customers on an unreleased project. Go figure!

Boss: Here's the next project that I would you to start immediately.
Me: So the client wants <Application Name>
Boss: Yes and it's due on Friday after 2 weeks.
Me: Yes can be done. By what time today you can give me the requirements.
Boss: Not today, I will give you the requirements next week Friday.
Me: So I should start the project next week Friday.
Boss: You have to start the project today
Me: Start with what? There is no requirement. Excuse me, I need a break.

Messaging me at 4:30pm on a Friday about a high priority issue currently in production.

My reply: a link to the code review from 2 months ago that literally explained the problem and what to do to fix it. That got implemented. Then removed. For some reason...

Feels good.

When something that worked on Friday doesn't work on Monday

I'm gonna deploy today. On Friday. On my last day of work.

MyCompany, are you sure that you want to end short-time employments on Fridays?

We have open office. I had this co-worker Intern who sits right at the corner of the development team and farts silently. Sometimes there's no smell or little but sometimes it smells like he has shit on this pants.

No one knew that he was the one who farts in the office because he was always quiet and doing his job and doesn't react whenever anyone says anything to him.

On a friday evening when we were having drinks with other coi-workers in the office, he got high and told everyone that he was the one who farts silently in the office. Actually that was his last day of Internship too.

Today's highlights include:

The offshore team has put code gems in production featuring the example code generated on project startup that you're supposed to delete or overwrite, an API endpoint that just returns the value 5, and various debugging console.logs. it's a delight reading their code.

My boss also forgot the meeting he called me in for so I've been sitting here waiting for 20 minutes when I could have gone home. I'm glad it's friday

Today I got kicked out of a sports store in a city that I'm not from on Black Friday for *allegedly* walking onto the putting green and teeing off a little foamy practice ball with a 3 wood.

There were a lot of accusations(which was pretty ironic considering I *may* have).

My main defense is that I honestly didn't think I was talented enough for it to end up in hunting & fishing on the other side of the store.
On the plus side I may have found a new hobby outside of developing

Literally translates to : } Do not change requirments at 9pm on Friday that PO aint your father-in-law 😒..
😛😂

Once, I overheard a conversation between my former PM and a client during a phone call.

Client: I will send the final draft of the project by Thursday.

PM: That's great to hear!

Client: When can I expect the updates to review the changes after the draft is sent? I need to present it at a meeting this weekend.

PM: It should be ready by Friday without fail!

Client: Excellent! Thank you. I will be expecting it.

PM: Sure, goodbye.

(After the call, PM joined the team.)

PM: So, team, the client for Project-A will be sending us a new draft for review and updates. They are putting a lot of pressure on us and need it to be ready by Friday at the latest. We need to treat this with a sense of urgency.

(After hearing this, we felt compelled to respond.)

Me: There's no way they would expect us to deliver an unseen draft within a day. Both the backend and Figma team members were forced to work last weekend, on Saturday, because you mentioned that Project B was behind schedule and the client needed an update by Monday. We simply can't continue working like this.

Backend guy 2: I also worked last Sunday on Project B.

Me: We overheard you telling the client that they should expect an update by Friday. It seems like you're the one directly putting the team under pressure, even though we still have three ongoing projects with tight deadlines.

(The office fell into an uncomfortable silence.)
(PM left the office without saying a word.)

Later on, I heard that he contacted the client to reschedule the expected time of arrival (ETA) after receiving the draft.

Yesterday I received the API documentation from an external company. Over half of the endpoints are either wrong or send invalid data and even the given test requests are fucking failing.
It's a nightmare. We have to finish a website until friday and that company did nothing for 2 months and now we have 2 days left.
The sheer incompetence is too damn high.
My boss said it would have been much better if we had implemented the API on our own. Damn right.

colleague in a planning meeting: so now it's Easter, which in Germany is public holidays on friday and monday
PM: i as a manager would find it great if there weren't any public holidays

yeah not surprised, but thank fuck you're not the one to decide that... some people are trying to have a life^^

6 hours of weekly progress report meeting in client’s office EVERY FUCKING FRIDAY.

Yes it’s a progress report meeting that can be done via email or skype

Yes it takes 6 hours

When we go to the meeting, we have
1. The boss
2. The 1% PM + 99% sales guy
3. The secretary who document everything in that meeting
4. Me as a dev

The only thing i do is to answer “yes, that’s technicaly possible” or “no, that’s stupid” when the client ask for some features or changes.

Sometimes i’m just being an accessory in that meeting.

It was years ago before i quit and become a designer 👌🏼

$work is migrating to a new HR performance review service (15five). Instead of a private (ish) review once a quarter, it'll be public (and uneditable) reviews due every friday. Better make sure that review is perfect.

also, praising a coworker is required.

<sarcastic thumbs-up>

Big project this week. Lots of fires to put out. Deadlines approaching.

Monday: I can get by on just four hours sleep. No problem. Will be just like college.

Wednesday: I'm going to just close my eyes while this file uploads. Maybe I will backup the server while I'm at it; Just take a nap while that processes.

Friday: Sorry if my office smells like vomit. It's because I am so tired I vomited.

Sunday: I'm not getting out of this bed tomorrow. Let them fire me. I think I will just will myself into a coma. That will be nice.

Years ago, I was part of a project that went completely off the rails. A little context: we were a services company and we had local offices in cities all over the country. My team provided 2nd-level support which means we often had the PMs call us from those via an annoying Nextel radio.

I won’t go through the details but suffice it to say this project envolved one such branch going rogue and committing actual fraud, with criminal proceedings and all. People were on the edge, and the relationship with that branch was increasingly hostile. There was also an internal power struggle in the company between some directors at that point. In other words, a clusterfuck I’ll always cherish, if by cherish you mean hate hate hate. Anywho…

One time, there was a national holiday on a Thursday and we were going to make it a long weekend. As customary, I communicated with all the PMs about contigency plans. This PM then told us that we could not take Friday off because the customer wanted us to fly over there. We were supposed to be at the customer’s site early Friday morning. That meant we would have to fly Thrusday afternoon. I wasn’t happy.

It immediatly felt arbitrary too. As I said, the relationship was not good and we suspected he was just trying to cost us our days off. I knew enough of the customer to be fairly sure they would not have requested us that Friday. Why did the customer want us then? There was nothing yet on production and if it was just to show progress, surely we could move it to Monday. At worst, can’t we make it over the phone? No, no, no, he said. The customer was adamant that we be there on Friday. Sucked to be us.

So we flew over Thursday afternoon and on Friday morning we headed to the customer’s offices only to find it closed. They too had made it a long weekend and wouldn’t be back until Monday.

Normally I would be furious over the waste of time but to be honest, both I and my colleague smiled at that. It confirmed that the PM just tried to screw us and the customer have never asked for us. We headed back to the local office.

Before coming in, we both bought ourselves some icecream. My friend stayed in the little garden in front and I went in. The PM immediatly saw me and demanded to know why I wasn’t at the customer yet. I didn’t answer. Instead I grabbed the Nextel radio and headed back out with the PM following. I then sat down on the grass and called my director. Smiling and staring at the PM, I told him about the office being closed. The PM’s face froze when my director asked to talk to him.

We sat outside under the sun, enjoying our icecreams while the PM got shouted at. It was the best icecream I’ve ever had.

I knew this guy was pure evil.
Deployment on friday night !
And that too before Christmas.
Thank god Santa doesnt use Tesla

So we send a quote out to a client to update his website to make it compliant with the new privacy guidelines: SSL encryption, removing external libraries, removing Facebook Plug-ins, all that stuff. We didn't get a response.

On Monday, he called in a panic. "The website does not work, fix immediately!"

I check out the server, what do I see? An SSL cert installed the Friday before... Client decided to do it himself, on a Friday, without testing. He broke something, but cannot tell me exactly what he did.

And somehow he thinks all that is my fault :D

Remember when I said don't launch on a Friday?

Coming into work on Monday with a broken site is exactly why we don't do that...

Now I get to deal with fixing this issue while also dealing with complaints from managers who act like I didn't warn them.

Inspiration for alcoholism.

What a developer does on friday evening, when he sees that his manager is in a meeting.

We have a pretty simple rule in our team:

Do not deploy to production on Friday.

Well thanks to the client being very slow to reply to me, they only signed off on launching the app at 15:30 on Friday, for a big campaign the app was built to facilitate starting Saturday.

Guess who had to bite the bullet and launch a new app into production at 15:30 on Friday.

Guess who got a text from his boss at 19:30 that there was a critical change required tonight.

Guess who was making code changes and deploying to production at 21:15 on Friday night while drinking Gin and tonic...

Nb This was a project only i was assigned to and came in as a rush job at the last minute.

Share your VS Code installed extensions here.
Mine is: Alignment, Better Comments, change-case, Colonize, CSS Peek, DotENV, File Utils, GitLens (my favorite!), Gulp Snippets, JS-CSS-HTML Formatter, Laravel 5 Snippets, Laravel Blade Snippets, Material Icon Theme, npm Intellisense, Numbered Bookmarks, Path Intellisense, PHP Debug, PHP DocBlocker, PHP Intelephense, PHP IntelliSense, Prettify JSON, Quokka.js, snippet-creator, Vetur.

Feels like there are redundant extensions here that I need to uninstall.
Happy Friday and Cheers! Excited for Infinity War movie! 😎

Missed the opportunity to participate in a company wide gamejam cause I don't read my business emails 😢

but then I found out that anyone who doesn't participate gets those days off, which coincidentally fall on Thursday and Friday, and the Monday after that is a national holiday 😁

My boss just declared that every first Friday of every month would be LAN Party night. We bring our own PC or console or whatever and just play games all night (after work). Boss man will bring food. It's optional of course but god damn this is soooo good

What kind of polite answer should I give to a client who visited us on Friday afternoon (29 Dec) and expected us to present him the finished website on Monday (1 Jan)?

// 1st Jan is public holiday and we made ourselves clear to every client that our office is closed on both Saturday and Sunday

So Friday afternoon is always deployment time at my company. No sure why, but it always fucks us.

Anyways, last Friday, we had this lovely deployment that was missing a key piece. On Wednesday I had tested it, sent out an email(with screenshots) saying "yo, whoever wrote this, this feature is all fucked up." Management said they would handle it.

The response email. 1(out of 20) defects I sent in were not a defect but my error. No further response, so I assume the rest were being looked into.

In a call with bossman, my manager states that the feature is fixed, so I go to check it quickly before the deployment(on Friday).

THERE IS NO FUCKING CODE CHECK-IN. THE DEV BASTARD JUST SAID THAT MY USECASE WAS WRONG, SO MY ENTIRE EMAIL WAS INVALID.

I am currently working on Saturday, as the other guy refuses to see the problem! It is blatant, and I got 3 other people to reproduce to prove I am not crazy!

On top of that, the code makes me want to vomit! I write bad code. This is like a 3rd grader who doesn't know code copy-pasted from stack overflow! There is literally if(A) then B else if(!A) then B! And a for loop which does some shit, and the line after it closes has a second for loop that iterates over the same unaltered set! Why?! On top of that, the second for loop loops until "i" is equal to length-1, then does something! Why loop???

The smartest part of him ran down his Mama's leg when it saw the DNA dad was contributing!

Don't know who is the culprit, and if you happen to see this, I am pissed. I am working on Saturday because you can't check your code or you lied on your resume to get this job, as you are not qualified! Fuck you!

Friday... the perfect time for that small update to that critical system. -sigh-

Black Friday fail.

Local online store totally failed last year on BF, so they spent the whole week on news, radio, print ads, newsletter raving about how they upgraded the systems for BF and are expecting double the traffic of last year and are super ready. 60 seconds into BF, site went totally tits up, was not till 01:45 that anyone could access it again, and according to uptimerobot, they were tits up for about 55% of the day.

Worst black friday specials ever.
I'm really not a fan of the "holiday" anyway, but I found basically nothing I wanted. 🙄

Also: I'm trying to find a nice RGB keyboard with green cherries. Any suggestions on where to look? I've found one site that makes custom keyboards (wasd), but theirs aren't RGB. ☹ I want purple/pink backlighting damnit!

So last night was a Friday. After leaving the gym I noticed a missed call and a voicemail from my client.

Note this was sent at 21:50 on a Friday night.

My client stated they were "rather disappointed" (to use their phrasing) that I didn't answer. There is no contract that I answer out of hours or any issues with their system.

This morning, I noticed my client followed up with an email. It was a single line saying they found some new AWS services they like to talk about (translate: "I've found some new AWS acronyms that sound cool that I wish to talk about for several hours").

Emergency! :)

Seriously, clients, sometimes :(

27 years old, been in 3 jobs. Hired in a new job. Confidence has went up and down like shit. Life has become more real than ever before.

What have I learned through all these bumpy rides?

Life is journey, it goes up and it goes down. But what you may not realize is that everything that happens to you, is for you to learn.

Happy Friday to everyone in this unknown path, just enjoy that you are alive, can breathe and see things with your magical eyes.

God exists for sure.

After Monday and Tuesday holidays, it's not a very easy task to move your ass back to office.

Knowing that Friday is also a holiday doesn't help.

12 days of work, 12 fucking days straight and I meet the Friday deadline for this ridiculous sprint of never ending tasks.

There’s no better feeling then bringing everything together at 5pm on Friday, pushing to Git and waking out that door knowing there’s nothing more to do until Monday’s testing!!!!

Now excuse me while I go sleep my weekend away!

This happened yesterday. It was a Friday and I didn't have much time to implement something that I was asked.

I was supposed to get the cpu temperature from a host device and send it to the server. Instead I just used random.randint(x,y) (python random function) with x,y linearly dependent on cpu utilisation (cpu utilisation is easy to get).

The ability to generate random numbers on fly has to be on of the coolest things that you can do. You can almost fake anything using them properly 😅

A support request came in at 4:30 this afternoon, I logged onto the server somewhat pissed off that there was a support request at this time on a Friday.

I checked the logs and noticed 500 errors coming from our integration parter after a little log checking and with glee I declared "not my fucking problem!" I replied to the customer and ccd our partner. Have fun bitches, next time deploy your new version when we fucking agreed!

Friday 4:59pm
PM: hey, we need to add this new feature to the project.
Me: no problem, I'll take a look on Monday.

Monday 8:01am
PM: how's that new task coming along?
Me: 😩

I am a people people pleaser.

Especially when it comes to deadlines. I struggle heavily with them. For example:

My boss: 'Will the app be done by Friday?'

Me: 'well some features won't be ready but overall yes.'

The truth: "No even if I work on it 24/7 there are just so many things in the background that are too technical to explain to my boss that it will be impossible for me to hit that deadline. It will most likely take over a month to be ready for beta testing...."

I just don't know how to deal with those kinds of questions. I don't want to say 'most likely over a month' because it makes me look like a bad dev but at the same time I know that that is way more realistic than 'it will be done by Friday'

The truth is: even if it just looks like 3 buttons to you, in reality I need to change thousands of lines of code to accomplish the expected goals...

P.S:

I wanted to write this rant for a long time. Now I am drunk. There will be a sober more ordered version of this rant.

First rule that I learnt by being a DevOps intern - never deploy on a Friday.

I'm a founder of a small startup. We had a board meeting on a Friday, and Thursday night I sent a strongly worded email to the chairman and point investor, both of whom are worth well over $100 million, expressing my concern that we were undercapitalized and they were taking advantage of our youth and inexperience in order to make a quick return on their investment. The board meeting the next day was 2 hours of me getting railed.

Cs101 - a 3 hour Friday morning lecture. 1st at uni doing computer science. Half asleep. I'm awoken by the professor

"You at the back - what's the answer!"

Alarmed but not too bothered I just say "I don't know"

He replies "yes you do! We just went over it"

I say I really don't know. Someone behind me says "64". So I say "64".

Professor sighs and says "no - 2 to the power 8 is 256!"

He never liked me after that.

Boss: "i need you to build a feature so that customers can do bla bla bla and it has to be done by friday.

Dev: "Ok i can do it fast if you sure this is what you want, and requirements wont change in the future. Have you considered bla bla"

Boss: "Yes do it"

Dev: *writes, tests and deploys code*

A few weeks later:

Boss: "we need to add bla bla to the feature you built since some requirements has changed."

!dev && rant

What's people's problem with Wikipedia.

Earlier this week I told my cleaning lady about how Black Friday was so pointless this year, and apparently it's the first thing she heard about Black Friday (she's in her late 30's and a mother of 2, go figure). Not only that but she believed that it occurred every end of the month because someone else told her so. She said it would make sense because it's close to everyone's payday.

So I go and look up some information about Black Friday for her. All the DDG results somehow shit or cluttered by marketing wank.. your guess is as good as mine. Anyway, appended Wikipedia to get some reasonably good information quick. And that looked for all the world like that was the case. Apparently it's got to do with American Thanksgiving.. who knew?

She still didn't believe it. "But that's Wikipedia..." So she looked it up on her own phone on some random local site.. it confirmed that indeed it occurs once a year. Well, confirmed to the extent that there was "2017", "2018" and "2019" on the page... Yeah.

Finally she believed it. At least she didn't double down on it anymore. But seriously.. you're gonna take the words of one random person over a medium that's constantly being improved under the many eyes principle?

"People can edit Wikipedia so therefore it's bad"

I really don't get people...

Friday, 3pm, job interview.
Friday, 8pm, mail from the company owner:
'we liked your profile very much, so we'll make you an offer on Monday'.

No signs of life since then. I guess you didn't like my profile THAT much... 😅

My last day before vacation, Friday after hours,
Me as a Junior dev, not that experienced with bash.
An unfortunately with root on a prod machine.
I wrote a script and wanted it to stop at a specific point, but couldn’t remember which of those cmd it was so I wrote all of them.
Quit
Close
Stop
Halt
Exit

Ran the script.
Wanted to kill myself.
I haven’t had the privs to turn on the VM again.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
🤦🏽‍♂️
I definitely learned a lot!

To all of you that is saying Friday release is horrible, you have no idea how bad Monday release is :(

-Friday
Me: *pushes fix for an issue in app*

-Tuesday, the next week
Colleague: "Hey, dude, fid you fix that issue?"
Me: "Yeah, it's available since Friday morning"
Colleague: *e-mails me screenshot with the issue still present*
Me: "That's odd, let me check that on your machine"
Me: *opens the app on his machine, the issue really is there, starting to freak out that I messed up the repo*
Me: "Why the hell would that not work... wait a sec, lemme check something.."
Me: *checks the app version and discovers that it's from 2 months ago*
Me (turns on colleague): "I guess, you should update it to see the newest functionality"
Me: *goes to the toilet, locks himself up, cries*

That feeling when you finish work on Friday having built something really cool, but don't want to stop working on it.

Partly because you were enjoying it, partly because you were in the zone, and partly because you're scared that you are going to forget how it works by Monday!

"How much time would it take you to implement $some_feature ?"

DAMN IT, I hate being asked for estimates on friday. Reminds me that I have to work again on monday.

Microsoft Azure down on a Friday at home time? Whoever tripped over that cable is probably trying awfully hard to slink out of the building unnoticed right about now

PM: Heard you are DJ.
Me: Yeah...
PM: I have company promo video that needs to be composed and sent by Friday to corporate.
Me: OK?
PM: Since you are DJ, I am assigning it to you.
Me: Huh...I'm a software developer and DJ not f#cking Steven Spielberg.

Leaving the office friday night and suddenly I realized that I didn't commited my changes

Completely got my localhost and live database confused and dropped the whole live server. And there was a power outage so the last backup is from Friday. Luckily not completely live, but still having a stream of people walking in. Also pretty obvious that they are talking about me especially since there's no other shes in the department.

!dev sucks++
Soo, my GF who I moved to Germany for wrote that we needed to talk on Friday (today is Monday).
I was away for the weekend, and yester I asked what I could expect when I got home.
She wrote that we could hug, but not kiss...
One short phonecall later, she had broken up...

So now I will have to figure out what I will do... I don't have a home anymore (moved into her apartment), my job sucks, so nothing left...

Hold me

So this is what happened!
It was a rainy Friday, I was asked to add a quick bug fix to a js application, I spent my Friday coding, testing ..., baam the patch is ready ... I wrote a nice commit message explains the problem and the fix but I didn't push the code.

On Monday the fuckin code disappeared, no commit no code no nothing no trace ... To be honest I don't know what happened. I rewrote everything on that Money morning (you can only imagine how pest I was)

I use vim with tmux.
I have done everything I could to figure out what happened to that commit, I even doubted If had did wrote the fix that Friday, but it's not possible to forget few hours of a day
I checked my commit history on the different branches i did everything

No trace ...
Conclusion
My machine is hunted ...
Or I have multiple personalities and one of them is a programmer and he is fucking with me

Ahh...
Submitting a patch at 4:58PM on Friday knowing for sure that nothing can go wrong.
BTW leaving for a week of vacation now 🥴

When it's Friday night, you didn't bring you work laptop home with you, have no way of working from home without it, and remember something that might be wrong with your code.
I'm sure I'll forget about it tomorrow.

"We shall be doing maintenance on Friday 13th at 20:00 hours on our core routers"
I dont know if your insane or what. Dont think it helps that the ticket this created has 666 in its id....

DID I JUST BREAK THAT SMALL PART IN A $50K MACHINE ?

WELL FUCKKKKKKKK!!!

Will update on Friday.

Monday, at the weekend I will start working on that thing I wanted.
...
Friday, tomorrow I can finally start working on that thing I wanted
...
Sunday night, damn, I wanted to work on that thing I wanted

I NEED MY SLEEP FFS!!! It is 06:20 in the morning and I am already on the train to work because one of our managers felt the need to plan a meeting from 08:00 on monday morning to explain EXACTLY why something does not work.
Needless to say that she is no dev (or has technical know how)!
But the best part is:
THE INVITATION FOR THE MEETING WAS SEND OUT FRIDAY EVENING SO THERE IS NO PREPARATION-TIME WHATSOEVER!!!
Fuck

Once again:

BOSS and Client IT’S URGENT IT’S CRITICAL

ME: IT’S 4:30pm on FRIDAY AND THIS IS THE FIRST I’VE HEARD OF IT IT IS NOT THAT HOT

Happy Friday! For all you programmers that have unresolved bugs, best of luck on fixing them before 5! :)

Had to program an entire ecommerce site for both a city soccer league and baseball league. Around 50 teams each. No planning or anything beforehand. They gave me around 4 days to complete the project. Once everything was squared away, of course they complained and said that half of the teams were wrong. So I had to stay until around 11 pm in the office fixing everything that Friday night. Of course everyone said it was my fault. I blame it on the lack of planning.

Legit got excited because today...on friday...one of our servers went down.

Why excited?

Tell me, do you know how fun it is to call your admin if he was "able to get it up" just for him to reply that he is having some "performance issues"?

Lmao it's fucking hilarious.

On another nothe, plz halp

That moment you go to the office thinking it's a Thursday and find out it's a Friday while signing in....! 🤠💃🏼💃🏼

I said "I'll definitely have this feature done by Friday" that was two weeks ago.

Friday meeting 2 hours before the weekend:
Manager: I want this and this and that and that feature implemented.
Me: Ok, next week I'll do it.

Monday meeting 2 hours after the weekend:
Manager: Have you already implemented this and this and that and that feature you promised to do?
Me: No

It seems Microsoft have taken my critique of Azure last week to heart. Last week, I insinuated that perhaps hometime on Friday was an inconvenient time of day for major downtime.

This week they've rectified their previous fault, and in their great mercy have decided to take down service at the busiest time of the day on Thursday instead.

Boss: Happy Friday!!!!!!
Boss: okay with that out the way get to fuckin work...

Me: John(Boss’s name).....
Boss: hmmm??
Me: I hate you, happy Friday

App crashed during a live demo. Hard not to feel bad especially since it's friday and i have to go into the weekend with that thought. Am i overreacting?

First company I worked for, overall it was a good experience, but at one point they promoted a consultant to project manager, and their planning skills were about as good as their people skills, which is to say, appalling.

We had a project update for a huge client, that required, for political BS reasons, that most of the team spend several weeks on-site, 300km away from home.
Go-live was approaching, and the plan was: migration starts Friday night, shortly after midnight (so actually, Saturday) once the client’s IT confirms DB is backed up. Expected duration: 5 hours.

- So, you expect me to work from midnight to 5am on Saturday? And when do we start working on Friday?

- 9am, of course.

- 9am!? So you actually planned a 20 hour work day? (Note: legal maximum here is 10 hours in a day, 40 a week)

- And we have to be there on Saturday 1pm to recheck everything is running smooth.

wtaf were they thinking?

When you realize that the bug is happening because you copied your own code and forgot to replace some variable after you pasted it... Damn you brain! Do not copy/paste ok? Or I swear I will drink a lot on Friday....

I need to invent time travel so I can go back to Friday morning and slap my past self for thinking that Linux From Scratch might be a fun weekend project. I should've gone to bed four hours ago and instead I've been shouting at LLVM.

It really makes me appreciate the hard work that Linux distro maintainers put in to keep all the pieces up-to-date and compatible with each other. I already want to put my fist through my monitor and I'm only trying to maintain a single virtual machine.

FRIDAY MADNESS:

As I was so busy coding, one colleague was taking a break and distracts me as he's done with his task. As he approached, I snobbed.

Him: Dude, did you know that there's a generator for all the images in sprite?
Me: really? How?
Him: spritegen.website-performance.org. What's cool about it is that the html and css are already generated just like in font awesome. For example, that i tag...
Me: cool. I wonder dude, why would they use i tag when it makes the text italicize, right?
Him: right. Probably because its used for icons also because icons starts with letter i.
Me: LOL.
Him: LOL.

Fuck this short jackass asshole fucker fucking sales director that keeps promising features in no fucking feasible time just for his fuck fucking commission! Then the fucking cocksucker CEO enters the room on a Friday saying: "We will build this because we can't lose this client."

We never fucking had the client you giant asshole piece of shit! He just fucking lied on the demo and we have to deal with that!!! Tired of this shit

what a great idea to do server upgrades on a friday evening...and i can do it alone...and am responsible that everything works as expected...what a great day today...and i hate every single second of this day yet.. :-/

damnit i'm a developer, not a sysadmin, just because i can do it doesnt mean that i'm supposed to do it..what about our admins? what get they paid for? rebooting the coffeemachine? fuckers already left the building

Colleague while reviewing my latest commit.
Him: Hey, RemusWasTaken, why did you leave this debug log in here?
Me: That function won't work unless I leave that line exactly there.
Him: It can't stay, come here so we can fix it.

Three hours of debugging later, this Friday afternoon.

Him: Okay, I give up. Let's leave it there for now.
Me: I did the same thing yesterday. Time well spent.

Nodejs is weird sometimes, or we are incompetent devs.

The bartender stole one euro from me. (Just didn't give me the rest of my money)

So like the awkward nerd that I am, I left and will just sulk and never go back there. I thought this was my new nook. Turns out, no more.

Sad Friday evening noises in distance.

!rant

My love for Clojure is so deep that I have invested the whole company. Over the past months just everyone came up to me and asked me, if I may teach them some Clojure programming. With everyone I mean literally everyone working in this company - fellow programmers, the ladies from HR, the Sales Team and even the CEO.

So today I gave a two hour introduction to the whole team on how to Clojure (in absolute basic terms).

The team has just voted that we will do that every friday starting next week for the rest of the year.

If you have passion, show it.

Black Friday is the time where you consider to buy a new laptop and finds that laptop companies don't know how to make one for programmers. Either they are shit or they are gamer laptop that have 2~4 GB of video memory you will never use and costs thousands of dollars.
Is it hard to make one with good CPU, RAM and a SSD without concluding that you are a hardcore gamer and you need an expensive video card along with it?

DONT do production stuff on friday afternoon. This friday evening we had an issue on production and just wanted to do a quick fix. The fix resulted in a ddos attack that we accidentally started on our servers in an IoT project. We contacted all customers' devices and asked them for response at the same time. Funny thing is that the devices are programmed to retry if a request fails until it is successful. We ended up with 4 hours downtime on production, servers were running again at 11pm.

I just love ultra high priority tickets that have been in the backlog for literal years.

So logical.

So amazing.

So 🤡-like.

Happy Friday!

If 13 hour days on Friday are the norm, I'm going to have to go back to the drawing board. Fuck that.

There's nothing like staying up all night, writing code at 3am by candlelight, drinking whiskey...

Or I can go to bed at 9pm Friday night feeling like absolute crap. That works too... Fuck having the flu, just kill me now...

Who books meetings on Friday afternoons?
Isn't that against the Geneva convention?

I spent ALL of friday trying to get some code to work (some awful MS Analytic Server stuff). I usually finish at 6pm. I was getting very frustrated, as it's for a project that I've made some big promises on.

So at 5:30, I started throwing random ideas at it.

At 5:58, it worked.

My weekend has been a lot more relaxed than it otherwise might have been. Weirdly, this has been the second time in a month that I've got something working with minutes to spare on a Friday.

I still hang out with my friends that I have known since we're in elementary school. The whole gang just had dinner and beer at a pub last night. We usually hang out on Friday or Saturday night. Then sometimes on weekends at someone's place cooking meals, playing games etc.

I also hang out with my gf at least one day a week. The activities are *censored*.

Apart from that, the rest of my life is work life.

I won't say my life is very good but I can't say it's terrible. 🤔

That moment when you make a suggestion. But client ignores you, and you end up building what they want.

Then an asshole comes along and presents the thing that you suggested, and has the balls to say they made it. When you can clearly see that it's the prototype you made!

At least it's Friday...

I really want that new computer! What are you all buying for Black Friday?

In horror movies. Characters do things that they them-self know it could kill them. Like getting in basement.

As a developer we all know to never deploy code on Friday. Here we are taking the wrong turn.

*meeting on Monday*
Client: so I've got this project I want you to do, it's simple right?
Me: seems so
Client: so I'll pay you this much because it's so simple
Me: uhhhhhhhh
Underpaying client: I also told my higher ups that you'd be done by Friday you can do that yeah
Me: ..................

I remember it was Friday, 30 minutes before leaving the office when suddenly someone from the upper management directly asked for my help to mass update something as it is important. By that time our CMS is not capable of doing this so I had to do it straight in the live database.

It was an update query and I decided to type the query in notepad first. when i pasted it in the terminal i didn't noticed i missed the "where" part so i mass updated the status of all our records dating 3 years back.

fuck.. please take note it was on a Friday night.

Friday wisdom:
Test's cannot prove absence of bugs. Tests can demonstrate the presence of features though.

P.S. I didn't came up with that

Confucius says: not everything that can be done tomorrow, should be done today.

Let's just say it was an extension of the shit show that occurred this week and sweep it under the rug 🤐

Happy fucking Friday!!!

Nothing makes me happier than listening to my neighbor's disgusting banda music playing as loud as it can.

No worries tho, the cops will be here in about 20 mins (it usually is 20) one would have expected that after getting the cops called on you for 3 times already you would get the message:

No homeslice. If i want to listen to that cantina piece of shit music on my fucking friday nights I will make sure to let u know :) but I actually have class so no thank you.

This is why Trump hates us (Mexicans)

Last Friday I banged my head on this search engine algorithm that I was working on that was not indexing properly. For 2 freaking hours I was stuck on this one bug, until I gave up.

Yesterday I went at it again. Took me 5 minutes to fix the bug and finish the changes.

The power of a rested mind...

I'm working with dictionaries today so naturally all my variable names are making me chuckle:
threshDic
saveDic
cutDic
Etc. you get the picture, it's the little things that get you through a Friday slog.

Alright, ladies and gentlemen. It's Friday. You know what that means.....

Don't touch nuffin' and DOCUMENT.

a friend of mine and me developed a mmorpg years ago on friday nights and we were learning a lot of sql on the way. for a tidy nested query that sped everything massively up i got a sudden kiss on the cheek at 5am. best reward ever.

He strikes again ... I am glad that Friday is my last day ...

That moment when you realize your team-mate pushes code to PROD on Friday evening
but you are the one on pager rotation over the weekend...

Somebody made a mistake
Nobody reviewed that shitty shit
And thus
Things are now broken
Which is great for a friday afternoon, off course 😂

I've got a Rubik's cube on Friday.

On Sunday evening, I solved a cube for the first time ever.
For the last two days, I've been solving them a lot. Seems it helps a bit with anxiety. Overall, my brain functionality, I'd argue, has improved.

It's funny how little obsessive things make one survive.

On the other hand, I don't think I'll stay obsessed with it for long. Pity that this nice little while of less anxiety is so short.

My Friday feels like a Monday that won't go away. A full weeks progress cleared away by one dumbass that deleted my build, test settings, and backups.

Welcome to another 30 hour weekend.

Lets fix this bug in production on a Friday afternoon. (did that three times on the same project). Never went wrong :)

Today I solved the problem assigned to me by changing one character. Simplest fix ever. Except that this problem is not on my project, and I don't have control over this project, so I can't merge my pull request or deploy the code, and the dev that does hasn't answered email today, and he's not scheduled out, and he's not in his office. Whatever, I'm just gonna say it's fuck it Friday and call it a week.

Friday afternoon, the week's work is finished, and I'm ahead of schedule.
An email arrives for another project.. "URGENT yaddayadda". The dickheads where it came from have taken weeks to react, and now it's urgent. Yeah, fuck you assholes, ideally with a smoothing iron.
On the upside, I'm not addressed directly, and that project isn't my task. But boss could make it mine in no time, and I think he would.
I don't even open the email, nobody has seen it anyway yet, AND I GO HOME! :-)

I was shortlisted for a job opening and they sent me a link to a coderbyte test on friday that is only valid till sunday.

Isnt making your applicant do a test on a weekend such a dick move?

When a vendor tells you you can't do certain things on their API because their database is not optimized, and then drops the bomb that doing a certain action that, when it happens to overlap with a completely different client doing the same action, causes their system to go down, you know it's a Tuesday that feels like it should be a Friday...

So I got a telephone interview for a job that a recruiter found for me. Call went well, comes to the development test. Small application in ruby on rails, haven't used it in about 2-3 years so a tad rusty. Completed the test under two days (was given until Friday) not too bad if I say so myself. It's for a junior position anyway so I'll assume they wouldn't mind giving me a refresher to help jog my memory.

I hate my company more and more everyday. 1. Release on Friday afternoon. 2. I should be home but that bitch decided that she wants to change something now, because she forgot to do that before. Of course, this shit cannot wait until Monday.

Boss: here you go 3 tasks for your sprint

Days later with local server and db still not connecting on docker.

Boss: ya can we add a task on jira and get that fixed as soon as possible and see why its not working(feature doesnt work)

Me: you got it boss.

Me(in head): How am i ever going to finish my sprint for next Friday...

Ooh boy... There are some days that an F* word, when spoken aloud, helps more than Stackoverflow.

I just hate my project manager ! :(

my project manager asked me to create the new UI for a running angular project and been given 2 weeks to do so.

I started working on it 2 weeks ago but he kept asking me to work on changes asked by clients on other projects during those 2 weeks and I did as he wanted. I informed him that our new UI is delaying because of these rapid changes and he replied "Its ok ! The deadline shall be changed. I will manage it. At this time, these fixes are much more important."

I said "Alright" at that time.

But Today He is saying I need to deliver the Version 2 UI and all integration by Friday.

I told him "I already told you that our project is delaying so you need to assign other resources on changes for other projects and let me finish the UI for version 2 for t that project. "

On this he got furious and asked me to do it no matter what by the Friday.

I don't know what should I do?

Most web developers don't seem to care at all about ecological footprint and UX/UI impact on people and society, like they never cared about accessibility either, desperately dreaming to work for the Californian oligopoly companies that shaped our current digital infrastructure.

Meanwhile, rivers run dry, forest are burning, people starving and soldiers killing people.

But politics is taboo, even on devrant. Let's post a funny thank-God(?!)-it's-Friday GIF animation instead!?

What kind of people do we want to be?

An 8 month nightmare project that failed more than it did anything else. With a team of 14 starting out and a 2 month deadline. Project ends Friday the 13th with only myself and another of the original team still left. It's crazy how issues out of our control caused skilled engineers to lose their cool and position and those that saw it through jumped up even though it all failed. Even if the project is horrible sometimes it pays to see it through to the bitter end.

compile with gcc, ./a.out: "Segmentation fault (core dumped)"

compile with clang, ./a.out: runs and fails.

compile with cc, ./a.out: Alternated between "Error: Too many arguments" and "Segmentation fault"...

ffs I'm done for the week I guess.
The problem is not that it fails, the problem is that it alternates because of time of compilation, power consumption, random blody oracles or the phase of the moon in a leap year on a Friday the 13th. God.Please.Send.~Nudes~. Help.

Looking blankly at the code review that I'm supposed to do whilst listening to HP & The Deathly Hallows for the last hour. It's a long Friday here fellas!

Push a PR that fixes 7 bugs...
Feel like a pro :)

Trying to get the 2 required approvals for my PR on a Friday after lunch...
Feels like pulling teeth :(

So it is Friday and I love that. :) Especially when my project manager assigned me yesterday a feature request to implement that he estimated to take no more than two days, which was right. 👍

Just had a big breakthrough on my personal project, solved a problem I've been working on and off on for the past year or two.

Feels good man! No other way I'd want to be spending my Friday night :)

Anyone else get that good feeling from solving a hard problem you're stuck on?

PM: Heyy team x, could we have a suuper quick 90 sec tops call?

B*tch, if the call is actually 1.5m there is no way we need that call. We can actually respond to your question in text quicker.

But I know you. You can't fool me that it would actually be 90 seconds.

It's also fucking Friday afternoon.

fml

I'm working on a project that is being shipped to production this friday, so we're killing all bugs and finishing all remaining features.
Sadly, one of the main devs just took his vacation last friday for THREE WEEKS, and being the small team we are, it feels like we'll need to work non-stop extra hours every day to meet the deadline.

The problem is, I can't sleep right now and it's 2:30 am, so fuck me.

so a client yesterday decides they need a site built by eop Friday, that has been quoted today. if approved first thing tomorrow gives about 1.5 days to get it done. Thanks boss

Nothing's as fun as unraveling the mystery of how a certain dependency got pulled in transitively....

In a monolith.

With over 1000 dependencies.

Kinda like sorting rice by the size of each grain.

Things that make a friday entertaining.

💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩

When boss said that you have to install package on friday evening.

On thursday i spent 5 hours on a function. It was about to include in production build which was due on friday.

On friday PM informed me that we are dropping this function from application. It will not be included in any build now. So just prepare the build without that function.

So, instead of commenting it out or make it hidden i deleted the source code for the function entirely.

Today morning it has been decided that we are including that function in our next build.

I am fucked. I am very bad Developer i guess.. i am laughing on my mistake. It will not happen again though.

ChaseBank is getting up my nose. Twice in four business days my account was flagged and I had to change my password for 'security' purposes. I spent the better part of 90 minutes in a futile attempt to find out why, when there's been no suspicious activity on my account, I'm being flagged. My father contacted a branch manager near him who told him to dial the priolrity customer service number and key in the letters (I shit you not) HO HO. I called the number. It's the same damn number I'd been calling. I called the branch. They told me I'd definitely receive a call back last Friday by 1800. No call. So, yesterday I called the manager of that branch, verified its location, told the manager he was supposed to call me by 1800 last Friday, and Chase Corporate would be in touch with him soon to explain that when you tell a customer you'll call them, you'll fucking call them.

So we called out our project manager and tech leader, who sent out an email last Friday to our bosses and stakeholders a project schedule - which we never knew about until we saw it in our inboxes - that showed we had already completed development and would go on to UAT testing by next week.

Except if you look at our agile board we have 3 weeks of dev tasks left and a couple more for testing and QA. Then our dev environment is shit because the deployment steps in TeamCity were not properly done by Dev Ops. And we still don't have a UAT environment created, much less tested out. And the project manager is about to go on a one-month vacation. Great!

So we replied back with all the aforementioned information (less the swearing and name-calling) and sent it out to the same recipients, including our bosses and stakeholders.

That was such a fun Friday afternoon.

Product manager: When building new features, we find we have bugs that reappear in other parts of the app where the bug was solved before. We have to find a solution to this issue.

Dev: These are called regressions, they happen all the time in software development.

Product manager: ...

Dev: Fuck outta here! Its friday!

Tip: Write `throw new Error("problem: <your task for next Monday, and your last thoughts about that>") at the end of your test-file.
Then you come back to work after the weekend and know exactly where you left off!

Thank me later, as I thank my Friday-4pm-me

"Deadline is Friday 6pm - update MUST be live then!"

Whenever I heard that I knew im going to be in the office till 2am

That 4:55 on a Friday feeling 😎

so…

let's make a translation website game thing

ooh! web hosting! check black friday deal!
buys website + hosting
~$100

oooh, let's check out google's translation api

>0.00001$ wtf no i aint paying that shitz or i wouldnt been a h4x3r

how can i work around this?
i know! ill make an iframe and input text as if i were a user

firefox: fuq u bish google isnt allowing framing for its translations

well gonna find another work around tommorow

maybe share the link too :)

On Friday a bunch of sophomores are coming into our computer IT class to see if they want to join. We are setting up stations for them to learn, listen, and interact with to show them what it's like in our class, and I wrote the code so they will write a HTML document that tells us basic info about them!!

Remember that big feature we were talking about 6 months ago?
We need it by next Friday for an important demo.

Of course we do.. what else..

"Be responsible for the commit you make" - One dev friend.

He told me that you could upload at any time (even on Friday at 5pm) if you are ready to stay late if the system gets broken.

... when you as an internee with limited access, gets your early off friday ruined by a flooding attack and one of the clients on that server somehow has your number..

So it's Friday and keep in mind this is an open plan office and on fridays the office supplies unlimited beer on company time. Someone bought a pile of new rubber ducks for the office. Little did he know that when you squeeze them they squeak... I'm sure you can imagine the scene, very little work was done.

How to impress PM:
1. Prepare a critical bug, that makes the frontend crash
2. Prepare a hotfix, that fixes the bug
3. Deploy bug on Friday afternoon
4. Wait until PM starts panicking
5. Deploy hotfix after 5 min
6. Get praise from PM

Guys, I have an interview Friday to a company I don't necessarily want to work for but I need the job because I just finished a coding boot camp not too long ago. What are some templates for Fintech, business macho companies that I can work on? Also, my resume sucks ass. Any advice is appreciated.

Our "agile" process uses one-month long sprints, ending on the last day of the month with a demo. (I'll rant some other time about non-consistent iteration lengths.)

Our sprint ends today (Monday). What was the most logical time to introduce changes that affect the architecture and break every single build? How about 4PM last Friday?

We're still waiting on the build breaker to show up while trying to figure out what the heck we can cobble together and run to show that we actually did something in the last month.

Anyone ever just get seriously discouraged about peoples view on how easy/difficult it is to code?

A client has requested that they want a system built so they can create surveys and send them to people via email all in one tool. Im not a good front end designer but I know how to develop it. So they hired a designer to send me screen mockups and I will develop them. Easy enough.

This is where the bullshit starts... The designer was supposed to send me the V1 designs last Friday so I could begin building. I told them that I could have a rough version of some pages (with placeholder text and whatnot) ready for the following Friday (tomorrow). However the designer didn't send me the designs until 5 minutes before we were all meeting yesterday. We were all going over the designs in the meeting and this is how the conversation went (roughly):

Client: Wow these designs are amazing, I cant wait to see what it looks like when it functions. Are we still going to have a demo version by Friday?

Me: Well seeing as I just got the designs today, Ill have to look them over and get back to you on a new timeline.

Designer: Yah sorry about the delay, designing can be tricky sometimes.

Client: No worries, I understand. However I want to stick to the same timeline and have the demo by Friday.

Me: Well as I said, Im only getting the designs now, this is the first time I'm seeing them so I'll have to look them over and re-evaluate.

Client: Yeah but the designs are done so it will be easy for you to code it by then. It's all right there in front of you. I need to run, excited for Friday! Bye!

Designer: Bye!

Me: ...........

-- I know its partially my fault for saying I could have a demo done by Friday assuming the designer would have it done on time but COME ON. I hate when people say something is easy when they have no idea what it entails or how to even do it.

You come to work 2 hours early to continue a project that needs to launch next Friday.

40 minutes later you're still eating breakfast and browsing DevRant.

The coding hour has already hit and the day hasn't even started.

Coworker#1: Our client's website is broken, there are 504 errors everywhere, and their customers aren't able to register accounts.
Coworker#2: Our machine that hosts everything won't start up.

How is your Friday going?

That feeling when you have already fixed the problem on production server on Thursday and got the approval from the client but the same issue appears again on Friday evening.

#WeekendSpoiled

There's a comment I left on a code review on Friday that I have absolutely zero recollection of even looking at the review. On the upside, apparently I did work in my sleep..? It's something that was discussed in today's stand-up...

Finished a 6 month long project! Deployed on Friday, and now I’ll be taking the week off. Fingers crossed and hoping that no one burns my desk when I get back... 🌎🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Debugging an API issue that causes max execution time breach on a friday afternoon..

Scenario after sending a build to QA:
(Monday)
Me: How's the build? did that app worked?
.
.
.
.
.
(here come's friday)
QA: The app didnt work on this part and there some bugs there, and please add this another module.
Me: okay ill fix that..when do you need it?
QA: today
Me: (just kill me)

Do you know how to spoil my weekend? Interview me on Friday afternoon for my dream position and tell me that "you'll let me know Monday latest".

Guess who couldn't mentally switch off over the weekend?

That 16:55 on a Friday when someone comes to your desk asking questions 😭

btw fellow gentoo users, what are your opinions about it? What advice do you have for noobs? My Black Friday E585 Thinkpad is coming in a few weeks and I'm thinking about switching distros.

Used to use Arch, recently I've been using Artix with runit as the alternative init system. I need something simple and systemd free, and I think gentoo would scratch that itch.

So, I'm on holiday for a week from Friday. Woo! The plan is to head to a cottage in the middle of nowhere with the wife and the dog and chill the fuck out for a while.

Just found out from my boss that, due to some fucking colossal mismanagement, I have to support a huge release for an architecture rebuild project from 10pm til 8am on Sunday night. While I'm on holiday. In the middle of nowhere.

FML

Realized I could of prevented an entire day of our team dealing with a prod issue that could've been quickly resolved if I had noticed the Support guy actually restarted the wrong server...

Prod Issue + Friday == BAD... My brain has already logged off as of this morning...

attention to details == 0

Assuming someone else will fix it/do things correctly == 100

Super easy to get motivated to work on my own projects every Friday: I look back at how many and how difficult the things I worked on during the week. I take how much I got paid and divide it by the sum of (numProjects * difficulty(1 to 4)). If I spent anywhere near that number on just coffee this week, well then Friday afternoon goes towards working on my own projects (yeah Friday morning- still have a lot of work to do and coffee to drink.)

Client: Thank you for this and all your hard work we will review and get back to you EOP Friday before final submit.

Us: We have been working to a deadline and have actually finished early which meant that we would be able to submit on Friday, at the very least by the afternoon. One question...is this your time EOP Friday?

Client: Yes

Us: That'll be 2 in the morning here and a Saturday.

Deployments after hours on a Friday. Who willingly agrees to that on someone else's behalf..

Is there anything nicer than having home office Friday and meeting up Monday only to discover that you were excluded from a meeting that Friday and they decided on a bunch of things that invalidates a lot of your past weeks work, making it top priority to resolve and now exceeding deadlines…

Visited my previous company today and found out that they are doing a big release today. Hm, its Friday, holidays, they won't work next week.. Well.. gg gj hf

Last day at work: goodbye overnight sessions breeding over some arcane legacy code that blew up in prod or manually restoring dozens of backups because the customer continued to work while systems went down due to power failure.

Colleagues last commit message at that place: It just works (Friday 8pm then shipping the code to prod)

Migrating from angularJs to angular4 , that Friday I will remember

Friday: Expectations vs Reality

Expectation: Work on work for half the day then work on side projects for the rest of the day. Consider it a good day.

Reality: Work on work for whole day. Then have your boss set the expectation to have a project completed by Monday morning that you know will take 3 more days. Hence making you work the weekend to try to get it done in time. -.-

For all you chuckleheads that think the government will save us with a UBI and other free shit, consider that when I went to apply for unemployment, I got this message: "This website is designed to work with Internet Explorer version 8 and 9, Apple Safari version 4 and 5 or Mozilla Firefox version 16 and 17." Also, the website is mysteriously unable to allow you to apply for unemployment on any day other than Monday through Friday and at any time other than 8 am-5 pm. Those computers the government has have better time off constraints than I do!

So as expected, due to the rush of the submission on Friday, the app was rejected.
I'm fairly certain they never got past the first screen or two.

We have some things to fix, and some things to tackle properly now, which is quite nice, however the current main issue numero uno is that an Apple developer account can take up to 10 days to be created, and Go Live is next Monday.

I wonder who will get the blame for not taking on the "Investigate the iTunes release process" ticket that was in Jira, assigned to someone for ~4 months.

I once found a bug that I couldn't figure out from the code, so I started putting log statements that would print out the variables on screen (yes I have xDebug, but old habits die hard). Then the entire website didn't load anymore and eventually the entire container crashed.

It took me an hour to realize I was trying to var_dump an object from the ORM, resulting in a memory overload since there were like 20 related objects that recursively tried to load all the data in the database.

In my defense, it was friday afternoon...

When you spend all week building a site and getting it just right, only to find out at 4:55pm on Friday that the designer didn't actually follow the sitemap and half of your build will need to be re-done.

Finished && deployed a big release yesterday (like the main component, only changed in 4-5 times over the years).

You know the mental state of "ahh it's done"
I couldn't even savour it and theres needless work given to me just-because. It ain't urgent, it ain't high-priority, and IT'S A FRIDAY TODAY? :v

No wonder the smarter-than-me predecessors left this job. One can't even get a sense of satisfaction after putting that amount of thought and work.