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Internet Explorer:
You type a local IP without the protocol.
It doesn't add http automatically.
It doesn't add https automatically.
IT TRIES TO SEARCH IT ON BING
I freaking hate IE13 -
How to plug a USB in a USB port:
1. Try to insert it
2. If it doesn't go, rotate it 180 degrees
3. Of it doesn't go, rotate it back
4. There you go7 -
"I'm just trying to replicate {ticket-1234} so I can write a quick hotfix."
- "Oh, it doesn't work on dev."
- "So... I have to test on stage?"
- "It doesn't work on stage either."
- "Uh, on prod?"
*office laughs*
We're doing it live folks.2 -
Your app works.
You do some changes.
It doesn't work anymore...
You restore the old code.
It still doesn't work... WHY?4 -
The sheer stupidity of so many Apple supporters is so fucking annoying. I'm not saying everyone that uses Apple is stupid, but I've heard so many fucking people say "Android is awful because it doesn't have iMessage." NO SHIT IT DOESN'T HAVE IMESSAGE, BECAUSE APPLE WANTS TO MAKE IT SUPER FUCKING COMPLICATED TO TALK TO ANYONE THAT DOESN'T USE APPLE. When an iPhone sends a regular SMS message, they revoke all features that Android phones could use for that message (read receipts, using Wi-Fi for SMS, etc...) because Apple doesn't fucking care about anyone that doesn't use Apple. Fuck making their own users' lives easier, the person they are talking to doesn't support Apple!!
Apple, fuck yourself with a chainsaw. And no, not gently.21 -
The best part of being a dev?
Want something?
It doesn't exist?
Build it yourself!
It feels like a superpower. :D2 -
I really hate Apple for popularizing reversed scrolling on touchpads. It doesn't make any fucking sense.16
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Customer: "Why doesn't the user interface have a night mode?"
Me: It wasn't in the requirements, it also doesn't have bouncing pink elephants, do you want me to add those in as well?9 -
Dear Dad,
'Long Press' doesn't mean 'Pressing it harder'... they are two different things..
[RIP his smartphone]3 -
Remove the egos, and then read other people codes, it doesn't matter their codes are good or bad, you can still learn from it.
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1. Just because it sounds cool doesn't mean it is.
2. Automate all the things. If you can see everything from cli all the better.
3. If it isn't commited and pushed, it doesn't exist or won't after a hard drive burnout
4. Everything on your workstation should be quickly reproduceable or in a git repo.
5. Murphy is a bitch3 -
Nobody cares what the code does when it works. Everybody cares about it when it doesn't work. You just can't win. 😤3
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When you receive a "bug report" from one of the clients:
Subject: contact form
Message: It doesn't work1 -
Hey, why isn't X working?
Well, whats it doing
It doesn't work
That doesn't help
OMG it blue screened
What did the blue screen say?
How do you fix it?
T e l l M e W h a t I t S a i d S o I C a n H e l p Y o u
I'm factory resetting it now
1 -
Me: knows how to program a neural network
Also me: doesn't know how to use it
Again me: bad at math so doesn't know how to use the outputs of a neural network21 -
Solving Errors:
Code it.
Doesn't do anything, no errors in console.
Try again.
Doesn't work.
*Realizes that you didn't call the function*
ffs1 -
In the old days switching accounts was as simple as logging out and logging in
Now, logging out redirects you to 20 different pages, doesn't redirect you to the original page, and sometimes it doesn't even log you out5 -
Mom: My mouse doesn't move
Me: Have you tried disconnecting and reconnecting it?
Mom: How do I do that?
Me: Well, follow the cable from the mouse to the computer
Mom: Is the computer the black box? Then I've disconnected it
Me: Ok, good, then reconnect it
Mom: It doesn't fit
Me: ...
4 -
my boss: this fucking thing doesn't get done and everyone is coming after me about it
me, who doesn't have the access required to fix that for him:
4 -
3 nights of "why doesn't this work?", "what else can I try?", "why doesn't that work either?"...
Finally... it f**king works!3 -
The feeling when you finally figure something out, make the change, test... and it still doesn't work.2
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That cringe fest when non IT people throw random phrases related to IT which doesn't even make sense just to impress the audience6
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Me: My site doesn't validate for AMP because of some JavaScript the app performance measurement tool inserts into every post.
Support: Do the thing.
Me: I know, but how?
Support: Read the docs.
Me: All it says is "do the thing". But it doesn't state how.
Support: So, do the thing.1 -
Meanwhile, in a bus station in Spain...
It has been auto-restarting for 20 minutes. It doesn't even try to boot the OS
4 -
Woke up after a 2-3 hours nap at night just to have a career-panic and apply for all the jobs I'm overqualified for.
... Now I regret it.
😐6 -
No IntelliJ, just because my API CLASS has an unused method, doesn't mean IT SHOULD BE MADE PRIVATE!2
-
Was looking for an unknown call blocker when I came across an app which says something like 'call blocker'. The first person in the reviews gave it one star with the text: it doesn't block sms.
IT OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THE FUCKING TITLE/DESCRIPTION YOU FUCKING DIPWIT -
That one guy in the team,
Who builds things and knows stuff about the things he has built and doesn't document it :) doesn't document anything about it.
Fuck you man. Seriously, you need me to come everytime to you and ask you about it?
Fuck you.
Literally, Fuck You!5 -
fuuuccckkk stackoverflow.
q: "why doesn't python do this like i want:
me: "Here's an answer that quotes an article and links out explaining with Python 3.6.x doesn't allow that."
every fucker: "downvote, doesn't answer why it isn't allowed"
FUCK YOU, PROVIDE AN ANSWER THAT DOESN'T SAY WHAT I SAID5 -
That paranoia feeling when you push an upgrade and something stops working, you rollback, it still doesn't work..
"Has it ever worked at all?"2 -
Legit got excited because today...on friday...one of our servers went down.
Why excited?
Tell me, do you know how fun it is to call your admin if he was "able to get it up" just for him to reply that he is having some "performance issues"?
Lmao it's fucking hilarious.
On another nothe, plz halp5 -
A friend sent me this saying that this has windows on it, I put it in my computer to show him that it doesn't work
Now my PC doesn't power on
I mean WTF
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW
45 -
When people ask me:
- Why doesn't it work?
I catch myself often responding like this:
- How exactly it doesn't work?2 -
Yeah I'm an adult. No, it doesn't bother me that 6 years ago on the school trip I wasn't cool enough to be invited to the girls rooms eventhough my stupid friend was. Doesn't bother me one bit7
-
How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It doesn't matter. Its a hardware problem not a software problem...1 -
When you get a call into the helpdesk:
" It doesn't work!! "
What doesn't fucking work???!!!!??? And who the hell is this anyway?2 -
Debugging stage always consist of three phases:
1. It doesn't work.
2. It works.
3. It definitely works :)2 -
writing a whole god damn function in one single line doesn't make it "one liner" and it DOESN'T make your code better and more readable!!!1
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One thing I will never be able to stop is asking "why" if somebody tells me "X doesn't work", even though every second asshole takes it literal and tells me "I don't know why it doesn't work", instead of just mentally giving it a second and telling "why it doesn't work" by showing a screenshot or a message, because that's more likely what I meant.6
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Of course I can code with vi. I can also cook by burning wood. It might taste better, but it doesn't cook faster.12
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Had given my laptop at the repair store. They were just suppose to do a checkup and then give a choice on whether to repair or not. They repaired it and charged me 2.8K. No unit replacement or anything, just service. I didn't mind it (was actually happy seeing my laptop boot up and not have a blank screen). It's a dual-boot (Windows/Antergos(Arch-linux)). It booted to Windows instead of GRUB. Didn't care too much, because it had happened before and I had handled it.
After I take it back home, I discover that the WiFi doesn't work (it doesn't even seem to be a driver issue). Live boot of arch doesn't have access to WiFi either. Reinstalled GRUB, only to discover it doesn't boot successfully (issues with video card). So, now I'm stuck with fucking Windows WITHOUT WiFi and an arch-linux that doesn't fucking boot.
Gonna reinstall Arch now.
P. S. : Windows is super fast, because I haven't really used it and don't really like using it. I feel very limited by Windows.8 -
I just noticed that the about page doesn't go all black. Is it a bug or is it intentionally left that way?
7 -
Finding out a service your school uses doesn't bother encrypting passwords is always fun, isn't it?7
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"This page looks better in the app"
No, it f**king doesn't! I checked it, you lazy analytics-hungry monstrosity.1 -
When you spend hours debugging why something doesn't compile and it turns out, it was because the extension was with a capital first letter...
-
Programmers -- Civilization depends on us in ways it doesn't understand. In ways we don't yet understand.3
-
Just saw an advert for a well known store, who are supporting Care for Children this Christmas. Nice advert.
One commentor trashed it saying "it doesn't mention anything about Jesus and it doesn't make sense". I replied with "neither does miraculous conception".
I was then called "ignorant"....
Interesting. People are...interesting.2 -
As it may be known, when it comes to job applications, experience is overrated. The simple reason is that years of experience doesn't mean expertise. You can be doing something the wrong way for 15 years, that doesn't make you a suitable candidate.
HR.. meh.4 -
We recently started using a Redis cache for our application, and our boss has now taken to blaming Redis for every single incident we have - all because he doesn't understand how it works, and doesn't want to >.>
-
So it has gotten to the point where I'm excited whenever I'm restarting my windows and it doesn't install any updates..
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STOOOOP TELLING ME THE TABLE DOESN'T EXIST. YOU'RE FUCKING SUPPOSED TO CREATE THE DAMN TABLE NOT TELL ME IT DOESN'T EXIST! YOU FUCKING DID IT AT HOME ON MY DESKTOP SO WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
5 -
There is a special place in hell for people that use Boostrap, only to destroy it and recreate to destroy it and recreate for "customisation purpose"
I just spent a whole day figuring out what the fuck was going on with the collapse system that wouldn't trigger or was dying to trying to, only to discover that someone played the smartass by adding or removing a class when the collapse was triggered, so it would put everything in display:none
FUN FACT : ARIA-DISPLAY="TRUE/FALSE" HAS THIS EXACT PURPOSE, FUCKHEAD4 -
"Why the fuck it doesn't take the rules I've just wrote?"
Ow..refreshing "production" instead of "develop"1 -
If it hasn't a README, its not opensource! Just because you put it on Github doesn't mean people can use it...5
-
This is the kind of shit that I don't want to write.
The kind of shit that should be in an STL so I never have to include it in a project.
Because it doesn't belong in a project.
And it doesn't belong in a dependency tree either.
It belongs in a language.
-
Work from home, it doesn't stop the procrastination but it makes it less of a problem. Start a bit later, finish a bit later.
-
Reading 1 tutorial/ part of the documentation
Trying it on my own
Realize that your code doesn't work
Googling the problem
Fixing it
Repeat -
Real talk tho: whose idea was it to make comments end with semicolons? Doesn't make that much sense...6
-
I hate it when framework doesn't behave the way it should (or I didn't code it the way it's meant to), though in example it works the way it should.1
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When your boss decides to adjust the website you've spent 20hours+ on, fucks up several parts of it and then a) Doesn't tell you about it and b) Doesn't even attempt to fix it.
This is why I want to go freelance... And hate people...3 -
Gah... Outlook just froze because it can't connect to the mail server.... While I was drafting a long email....
Hope it doesn't crash, hope it doesn't crash.... Please please please...
-
They: It doesn't work on my machine.
Me: It got 100+ votes on Stackoverflow and comments were mostly 'it worked'. -
Studying engineering doesn't make you an expert physicist, and studying medicine doesn't make you an expert virologist. Learn the bloody difference, just because somebody has a degree doesn't mean all they say is true and verified, especially if the don't list their sources or talk about it "exclusively" for one media.2
-
Who the hell named it POJO.
That "Plain Old" doesn't make sense at all. They could have just named it "JO"8 -
when your PM doesn't know how to use Github, and he downloads the repo,edits it and makes another repo to share it instead of just forking it -.-2
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Do love it when I copy the selector via the inspect tool and I use it in my JQuery selector and it still doesn't work!
-
when VS thinks it doesn't have OpenTK references but your project compiles fine and references are well set.
3 -
Do love it when your code works and the system to implement it works.
But when you run it, it doesn't work.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ -
Identical configuration.
Application won't find proper base URL locally.
Application will find proper base URL on test and prod instances.
Excuse me, what the FUCK?3 -
Oh cool, telnet peek/poke on PS3... oh, it only works with the debug toolbox open so it doesn't work for anything else. Disappoint.
-
I'm used to use Facebook from browser, but recently it doesn't work and 9 times out of 10 it has random bugs, doesn't load newsfeed, doesn't load images and so on. Today I needed to sell an object and it didn't work, so I installed Facebook Lite just for this. And guess? It doesn't work too! The groups are buggy in the app, once you enter in the subscription page, it doesn't let you do any action and doesn't let you go back.
So that's the top website in the world, isn't it? -
How much does it cost to order a small batch of oem smartphones, port a decent os like Minix to them and develop some stuff like gui and necessary apps. I just need a device whose ui DOESN'T FUCKING LAG on quad-core cpu and IT DOESN'T FUCKING TRACK EVERY MOVE I MAKE7
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So there's this remote guy on my team that basically doesn't do much and when it does fucks up. This is a guy with a lot experience but it doesn't seem even give a fuck. He doesn't pay attention to standups and he has more time than me in the project but doesn't know that much about it. There are rare times when he gives good ideas. However this happena so rarely that it is awful to work with him.1
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I don't understand windows 10 "Quick Access" (when you open windows file manager). I open One very less used folder and it stays in quick access for approx. 10 days and I open my Project folder everyday, every hour, evry minute and every second, it doesn't shows up in quick access, and when sometimes does, it doesn't stays long.9
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Run program
Doesn't work
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Open code to look at it again
Dont touch anytghing
0 (zero) modifications
Run again
It works
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
3 -
REPOST (since people focused on an unescaped dot rather than on the problem matter).
Has anyone noticed how bad javascript's regex is?
21st century and it still doesn't return capture groups with separate indexes.
regex.exec and str.match doesn't return them either.
1 -
I feel like Git could have come up with a better name than "force push".
It just doesn't seem right... If your codebase doesn't want your commitment, you really shouldn't force yourself on them. No means no god dammit!3 -
A junior front end developer colleage of mine doesn't know the meaning of aspect ratio and doesn't understand why he needs to understand it or why is it important for responsive designs.3
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The 'lead' developer is unable to comprehend why sending an empty string when it doesn't exist (instead of not sending it at all and setting it later when it becomes available) is not the best idea to do. Instead, everything is the fault of ElasticSearch (which I oversee in some capacity) because it doesn't read stupid! And so any error being caused is due to ES. YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Somehow further back on this ticket than when I started. How does that even happen?
I went from okay I can replicate the issue and trying to fix it to now the data I need to replicate it won't even load. WTF?
I don't know
Senior doesn't know
Our boss doesn't know
3 seperate QAs don't know
Boss of QA doesn't know3 -
Programming in a nutshell:
"I changed nothing and it now doesn't work. Why?"
"I changed nothing and it now works. Why?" -
How the fuck are you supposed to read the Nobody: shit? What does it mean? It doesn't make any fucking sense.20
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if it works with 6 common browsers it is definitely solely my fault if the site doesn't work with your niche product. thanks for the constructive input today of 'doesn't work' for this nine year old site containing photos of your grandchildren dad.
-
A colleague of mine:
God damn, my application is racist.
Me: why?
Answer: It doesn't see enough white. -
I uploaded my static site on AWS. Doesn't load when I typed the public IP in the URL. Googled, found StackOverflow answer to traffic and ports as a security group to AWS. Tried it and it still doesn't work.
Hey Bluehost, sorry I left but I'm back now7 -
Note to self, selecting text to copy it into the paste buffer only works in the terminal. It doesn't work in chrome...2
-
Immutability is nice and all, but there are languages and tasks where it really doesn't work as well as it should.
-
How does an Android fix its problems?
It tries turning it off and on again, but if that doesn't work, it blames it on the manufacturer. -
Is it just me or anybody else doesn't like the React render method. I really think it messes up the code readability.2
-
Short but sweet:
why doesn't linux mint (an Ubuntu-based distro) fucking trim SSDs by default? Ubuntu doesn't do it by default either!9 -
How does it feel to work in a project where it doesn't have a proper planning ?. Anyone experienced?10
-
most annoying "feature" in C++: the semicolon after a class definition. It just doesn't make any sense!3
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Why on Earth is React.Component.state public? This doesn't make any sense. It has no significance, but it just feels so, so stupid.2
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The worst part about trying to come up with an antialiasing technique is running the demo application and thinking "hey that doesn't look too bad" and then reaslizing that the image doesn't have any antialiasing on it whatsoever
I know my technique looks bad right now, thanks for rubbing it in -
I was missing Korea either way. Kims sister tries something cute I would love to go back in.
As an officer tho, y'all ain't getting no Specialist.5 -
When a person asks what do I do I tell them that I'm a cyber wizard.
It explains it well doesn't it ?
God damn muggles... -
Omg has Google placed a new ad scheme online or something? It's fucking huge! Almost an entire screen of ads before seeing the first search result.
AAARRGHH 😑4 -
favourite a rant so i can find it on desktop and share it via another desktop platform
desktop doesn't have favourite option nor access to it ...1 -
It doesn't work. Wait, it might be this. Yay, wait.... it doesn't work. Who cares, people won't notice. I'll fix it later. 1 year later, maybe later. 1 more year, maybe later.4
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tfw a company jvm takes 10 minutes to start because it is bloated with shared libraries it doesn't need.
-
Just because your friends are all learning JavaScript, doesn't make it the best language to learn first.3
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testng: if the name doesn't match (fubar locales whatever idk) doesn't match the corresponding test that uses it it'll just silently ignore instead of failing or running the test at all
@DataProvider(name="fubar")
public Object[][]{
//test data setup
}
@Test(dataProvider = "locales")
public void testWhatever(){}
whoever designed it to be this way: why?1 -
Serious question, what is the use case for Arch? From all that I hear about how complicated it is it doesn't sound very practical3
-
Can some1 please do something about email
A "modify/edit" functionality is helpful
Why doesn't it have it already10 -
I love linux but it doesn't run Windows applications natively, but Windows doesn't have the awesome UNIX shell so I'm kinda stuck8
-
Why the fuck catch(...) Doesn't catch shit!? Fuuuuu!! I hate it! Why these things keep happening to me?!5
-
apparently; indirectly allocating tasks means that it doesn't chew up your bandwidth,
so where is the deliverable? -
Hazelcast
Works great, until it doesn't because of network partitions. Then your cluster needs restarting. -
FFFFCCCCKKKKK!!!! SO MANY PPL ASKING ME IT'S NOT WORKING, WHY ISN'T IT WORKING, FIX ... TODAY....
Delegation doesn't seem to work and everyone else doesn't seem to be able to figure things out themselves....1 -
Expo works like shit. Sometimes it reloads on code changes, sometimes it doesn't. It can't wait for me to accept USB debugging on my virtual android device so I need to hit connect button twice. I just got "Error: null". Sometimes it downloads the package to 100% then does nothing. Sometimes it doesn't even attempt to unless I forcefully kill it and start again. Fuck this shit.
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So I have this gulp task to minify javascript but it doesn't actually do that, It minifies in a single line which is actually correct, but it doesn't convert if/else into ternary and true/false to !0/!1?
> Gulp Task: https://pastebin.com/1d8k8juX -
Why would you use graphdb for "facebook-like" notification system?
It doesn't work that way, dude..
😑 -
When downloading 'animate.css', is it wrong to copy the raw file and paste into a file named 'animate.css' and link it in html file? Why doesn't it work??!!4
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