Found something true as 1 == 1

me.children += 1;
^_^

wk87 is a dangerous topic for me, i've been through a lot. I apologise for what I am about to inflict on this network over the coming week.

Most incompetent co-worker, candidate 1, "T".

T was an embedded C developer who talked openly about how he's been writing code since he was 14, knew all the C system libraries and functions like the back of his hand. For the most part, he did ... but not how to actually use them, as (based on his shocking ... well everything) he was inflicted by some sort of brain disorder not yet fully understood by medical science. Some highlights:

- Myself and the CTO spent 4 days teaching him what a circle buffer was and how to build one.
- His final circle buffer implementation had about 3 times as much code as he actually needed.
- When the code was running too slowly on the device, we didn't try find any performance improvements, or debug anything to see if there was anything taking too long. No not with T, T immediately blamed TCP for being inefficient.
- After he left we found a file called "TCP-Light" in his projects folder.
- He accused the CTO of having "violent tendencies" because he was playing with a marker tossing it up in the air and catching it.
- He once managed to leave his bank statements, jumper and TROUSERS in the bathroom and didn't realise until a building wide email went out.
- He once .... no hang on, seriously his fucking trousers, how?
- He accused us all of being fascists because we gave out to him for not driving with his glasses, despite the fact his license says he needs to (blind as a bat).

... why were his trousers off in the first place? and how do you forget ... or miss the pile of clothes and letters in a small bathroom.

Moving on, eventually he was fired, but the most depressing thing of all about T, is that he might not even be top of my list.

Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!

But they did not know

i -= -1

Math teacher: 1+1=?
Me: one zero
Math teacher: wrong!
So i gived to her my calculator (in binary mode :-) )
Me: check the answer.
Math teacher: [saw 1+1=10 on calc] thinks about 10 seconds LOL then says: you calculator is broken!

So I "grade" homework for programming 1 students...
Task was to produce an output like:
1
1 2
1 2 3
1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4 5

...and this was committed!
I really had to hold back laughter...
This looks purposefully obfuscated...

I know what I'm dressing up as this year.

Been there, done that.

The only one rule that governs the entire programmers world: If I work as you want, I'll choose the price. If you choose the price, I'll work as I want.

Want to read a horror story?

Number of computers
1900: 0
1950: 100
1980: 10000
1990: 1000000
2000: 1000000000
2010: 1000000000000000000
2020: 1
2030: 1
2040: 1
2050: 1

Happy Holidays, ++'s to everybody who comments or votes up.

Q : 1 is true and 0 is false. right??
A : 1

Boss: lets set the domain to <productName>1.com.

Me: ok ... why 1?

Boss: ... because its version 1 of the software.

Me: .....

Boss: People will get it

Feels so good...
1 day = 1 commit

To all those who posted about unixstickers 1$ offer... Thank you 😊

array[1]

Devs be like
*sees spiral shaped anything*
OMG DEBIAN DEBIAN DEBIAN!!!!!1!!!!!1!!1!11

When you check the comments under GitHub and most of them are +1

Got 2 Computers and 2 Laptops

1 is using Elementary OS
1 is using Arch
1 is using Linux Mint
1 is using OSX
And 0 Windows

Feels good man!

Oh RLY? you want me to confirm my email address?

Shift+Tab - Ctl+a - Ctrl+c - Tab - Ctrl+v

Like a ninja...

could actually HEAR the knife swishing sounds there

Wow, what a fucking mess this sunday was.
My boss wrote me an email that one route of a RESTful API we wrote for a customer was not working anymore and puking back a status 500 with some error mentioning invalid UTF-8 characters.
Not one single person has had touched nor changed the code on production in some 6 months, so what the fuck could it be?

Phpunit did not give any errors (running only locally), the code had no syntax errors and the DB dump did not contain any invalid bytes (tested with a hex editor).

WHAT THE FUCK?!

OK so I started to comment out lines (all tested directly on production of course) until the error vanished.

Guess what was the culprit?
.
.
.
.
.
.
In the code (PHP) we used strftime(...) to get nice time strings. Of course we set the correct locale on the server, thus having months and days formatted in German.
So, in Geman there is this one mysterious month called "März" which contains an umlaut character.
Calling strftime generated the date with März in it, but the server locale was de_CH.iso-8859-1 and not fucking de_CH.utf8, so the "ä" was returned as 0xE4 instead of 0xC3A4 (valid UTF-8), which json_encode(...) did not want to swallow but instead threw an exception.

When your girlfriend doesn't know C

Need to debug a plugin a Client purchased. Just saw:
if (true) {
$a =1+1;
} else {
$a = 1+1;
}
What the fuck. Don't want to imagine how the rest looks like...

age += 1

age += 1

:)

Stop these stereotypes against programmers.

1 like = 1 prayer

Q: 0 is false and 1 is true. Right?
A: 1

When 1=1-- works in SQL injection

Encoding issues always give me �headache�.

Just completed my first watercooling loop. Damn is this awesome

Basically,
1+infinity = 1
But
infinity + 1 = NaN
My entire maths fundamental shuttered by the beautiful JS language....

I didn’t know there existed a helpful tip #1 😱😱😱

Yaay!! Achievement unlocked: devRant stage 1

0!=1 is both mathematically correct (because 0 factorial is 1), and logically correct (since 0<1).

I found this interesting.

Boss: How long till it's done?
Me: 1 week

... 1 week later
Boss: How long till it's done?
Me: 1 week

... 1 week later

Boss: How long till it's done?
Me: 1 week

... 10 months later

Boss: It's almost Christmas
Me: 1 week

Courtesy of r/ProgrammerHumor

It was a basic java lesson. We had four values that we stored in a array. We had to make some calculations with the values. Then we had to sort those four values. That's the solution our teacher proposed:
if (arr[0] > arr[1]) {
int temp = arr[0];
arr[0] = arr[1];
arr[1] = temp;
}
if (arr[1] > arr[2]) {
int temp = arr[1];
arr[1] = arr[2];
arr[2] = temp;
}
if (arr[2] > arr[3]) {
int temp = arr[2];
arr[2] = arr[3];
arr[3] = temp;
}
if (arr[0] > arr[1]) {
int temp = arr[0];
arr[0] = arr[1];
arr[1] = temp;
}
if (arr[1] > arr[2]) {
int temp = arr[1];
arr[1] = arr[2];
arr[2] = temp;
}
if (arr[0] > arr[1]) {
int temp = arr[0];
arr[0] = arr[1];
arr[1] = temp;
}

1 + 1 = ? 🤔
Ans: 10. 😎
Got zero in exam for this. 😭

I would kill all these +1 guys, srsly. I subscribe these threads to know if it will be implemented.

You do not add any value to issue:
* devs are pissed off as this does not help solving problem
* others are pissed off

No one really cares about your likes, really.

One is omnipresent and one tries to be omnipresent covertly

Day 1 of my CIT major:

Professor: "...and if we use the right mouse button to click on any file, we can access a complete menu of secondary actions."

It's going to be a long semester.

Sometimes the best solution is the simplest
But sometimes it takes 20 hours of debugging to figure that out
😧

Awesome job guys, great count down, -1 out of 1-

My team has 1-on-1 check-up meetings with our boss about once a month.

My 1-on-1 today consisted solely of him saying "So I bought a new Porsche, want to see a picture?"

It was a pretty productive meeting, if I do say so myself!

Fresh internship story/conversation (Part 1)

Happened today:
- "Can you hack someone via cmd?"-cheap coworker at my internship workplace
- "Can you hack the NSA from any device?"-cheap coworker
- "Can the police identify me, if my face is on a Youtube video?"-cheap coworker
- "I can see all devices I have been through when I want to connect to a target as a route.
*talks about hops in a trace route, but uses non-technical terms for it*
*uses "ping host wikihow.com" instead of "tracert wikihow.com" to demonstrate it, besides of that "host" was not supposed to be there in that command*
*he had to google how to use the ping command on Windows*
*finally uses the ping command properly*
"Here, you can see all the devices our machine has connected to to reach the target"
ME: Aha. But dude... you know that all these ip adresses are in fact the same ip. These IPs are not any different. They are all the same. Besides of that this IP is the IP of this *points to domain name on windows cli* domain.
Him: Oh... I had a friend named ... *continues telling me some "hacker stories" from his past*
Me: *ignores him and always just responds with "Aha" to him* -cheap coworker

Happened yesterday:
- "You have programming classes? You must be an expert in Excel then, right?" -internship boss

Want to piss off the person reviewing your PR?

don't just return true or false use 1 == 1 for true and 1 == 2 for false.

Watch the glorious rage unfolds 🤘🤘🤘

++ adds 1
-- subtracts 1
** Multiplies by 1?

Thanks Microsoft, I found your number 1 error....

First day in 2019:
> Over slept and came to work 1.5 hour late

2019 will be revolutionary !

(1) liked a girl
(2) figure out she doesnt share programming interest
(3) goto (1)

Tests passed: 1 / 1
Success rate: 100 %

As useful as it can be, I despise auto-typecasting.

That is all.

Ruby’s fanciness bit me in the butt today. It’s pretty rare, but often confusing AF when it happens.

array = [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7]
array.count +1 +2
# => 1
What the fuck?

array.count +1 +2 +3
# => 1
What the fuck?

+1 +2 +3
# => 6
Okay.

(array.count +1 +2 +3)
# => 1
What the fuck?

(7 +1 +2 +3)
# => 13
Okay...

array.count + 1 + 2 + 3
# => 13
Alright, so spaces matter here...?

((array.count) +1 +2 +3)
# => 13
But not here!? ... Oh. I think I know what’s going on.

Array#count
Returns the number of elements. If an argument is given, counts the number of elements which equal it using ==

Well fuck me.

Ruby is seeing `array.count(+1+2+3)` instead of `array.count()+1+2+3` since `+1` is a value, not an operator followed by a value as is the case with `+ 1`.

Now, why was I using +1 +2 instead of adding some spaces like I normally would? So they would match what was in the comment next to them for easier reference. Heh.

Future dev, I did this for you! So this is all your fault. :|

I don't trust anyone today.... You shouldn't too..

"We need you to give 110% so that the total is greater than the sum of the parts... Eg: 1 + 1 > 2"
You're addressing a team who use logic to make you money. What the fuck are we supposed to do with this shit?
1 + 1 > 2?
false
Fuck off.

System.out.println(1+2+" = "+1+2);

3 = 12, Hence Proved!

; DELETE * FROM Users WHERE 1=1; just checking

For fucks sake if I send you a clearly described 5 step install instructions do not start on step 3! Yes you fucking moron instructions labeled 1,2,3,4,5 should be carried out one after the other! Not in random order.

Seriously, how deranged are you that you have never ever encountered a step-by-step instruction before?!

Don't give me that "oh, should I have started with step 1 first? You weren't very clear about that. I think it is a bit too complicated."

Here are some more instructions:
1. Close your PC
2. Donate it to someone with detectable IQ level
3. Go fuck yourself
4. Please die
5. Yes, start with step 1

We have 1 guy managing everything. He develop our CMS, customers email client, manage our network, servers, domains (our own domain servers), billing system, SSL certificates... In short: everything (as well as bugs). The entire company relies on 1 guy, pretty much.
Brings the phrase "all for one, and one for all" to a whole new meaning.

1. find bug
2. remove bug
3. error! go to 1

DevRant should have a <code></code> tag that makes everything inside a 1:1 font.

Developer voting system uses +1 and -1 instead of ++ and -- 🤓

git commit -m "Forgot a semicolon"

[master 92asd32] Forgot a semicolon
1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-)

This is 1 (one) line of code with 1 (one) semicolon

!rant

GRUB_INIT_TUNE="288 880 1 0 1 880 1 0 1 880 1 698 1 1046 1"

Pokemon healing tune.

I hate 1&1. Shit hosting, shit service, shit everything.

Popularity #1

Reached 1 kilobyte :)

There's a band called 1023MB.They haven't had any gigs yet...They need a bit more time. A mega-bit more time and probably a Bus😃😀... 😂😂More like 8000😃

story points that equate to hours.
1 = 1 hour
2 = 1-2 hours
3 = 3-4 hours
5 = 6-8 hours
8 = Kill. Me.
13 = Now.

Age += 1

DELETE FROM TABLE invoices.

The next week was spent inputing the data by hand because:

Who needs database back-ups?

Took 1 hour to write code...1 day to find missing semi colon..

I waited for 1/1/20 just to be able to do it

true && 1
> 1
true && !!1
> true

Welcome to Javascript

Programmer 1: We have a problem
Programmer 2: Let’s use RegEx!
Programmer 1: Now we have two problems

TL,DR;
Did I mentioned that I hate 1&1?

I host my website there, a small-not-much-visited one. And it works great. But I also have internet connection at home - with 1&1. And it freaking sucks, it always did but that's partly cause of our unlucky position in the country. But why the flying fuck would it completely break sometimes in the meantime the last 20 days. There's a map in the internet showing places where popele have trouble with 1&1. The last two or three weeks germany completely red! Just sometimes out of nowhere the upload is practically zero. And then again, after a hour or a few restarts, it works again. A bit. WHAT THE FUCK MARCEL D'VIS? What did I do to you?!

How singular can it get

1 class = 1 file

What 1 programmer can do in 1 month,
2 programmers can do in 2 months.

My brain power allocation:
- 1% — happiness
- 1% — creativity
- 1% — work
- 97% — picking out insignificant details in my past and feeling anxious about them, imagining what could’ve been, or rigorously planning out completely hypothetical scenarios

That is really a lucky number ;-)

1. Get error message
2. Google error message
3. Paste Stack Overflow answer
4. GOTO 1

I still love my Pi 1 B+

3 days, 1 bug

Off by 1

Smdh 😒

Step 1.

And 1&1 again... I tried to create a new database... 1&1: “the password is to long. Please choose a password that is not longer than 16 characters.” 🙃

age += 1
print("Spent 8400 days on Earth ☺")
print("!em ot yadhtriB yppaH"[::-1])

Looks like the idiot changed their mind quite too early... This time ama do "1 != 1" cause I don't know what might come next. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Let the studying begin :D

/*************
* adds 1 to i
***************/
i = i + 1

Everyone has seen at least one comment like this.

Random fact #1

AMD (Advanced Micro Devices) was producing Intel 8080 clones (AMD Am9080) before developing own CPUs. Originally they were produced without Intel license. This clone was developed basing on pictures of Intel 8080 itself and pictures of logic diagrams. These processors were much cheaper than the original model. Later AMD and Intel came up with agreement and the Am9080 was fully licensed making AMD official second party vendor.

And yeah, few years later and we got a war between two of those giants. Remember when in mid 2000s AMD almost beat the Intel marketshare?

Bonus Fact: there is AMD logo on Ferrari Formula 1 cars since 2002 (look at the front wing)

It's hard to be a tester on your own system. Tsk.

Normal person : 365 + 1 = 366
Developer dealing with julian dates : 365 + 1 = 1(New year)
Business person : 365 + 1 = 001 (because they like symmetry in their file names with dates)

We found this BUG, now we are celebrating our new year by changing code in each of script to format string accordingly.

That's one impressive Formula 1 lap record for the upcoming race in Singapore!

...Time to notify the Formula 1 app Devs.

You think arrays starting with 1 are annoying?

HA!

How about time in a day starting with 12?

12:00, 12:45, 1:00, 1:45,...,11:45, 12:00, 12:45, 1:00, 1:45, ..., 11:45, 12:00, 12:45, 1:00 again

What if arrays started with 12? I bet Americans would love that!
arr[12]=fuck
arr[1]=this
arr[2]=shit
arr[3]=!!!

My small collection

2 DD 8" floppy disks
2 MD 2-D 5" 1/4 floppy disks
2 HD 3" 1/2 floppy disks
1 Jaz disk
1 unassembled 3" 1/2 floppy disk
1 PalmOne sticker to learn the letters of Graffiti 2 (I had a M100, but I do not anything related to it anymore.)

Who has given more +1s than @dfox (18997). Anyone?

Normal people
ARRAYS START AT 0
No! ARRAYS START AT 1

Meanwhile,
Me: Arrays Start at NULL

1- Copy/Paste (code)
1- Googling before trying to fix a bugs by myself first.
1- Never finish my side projects.
2- (Worst) Still doing all the above.

Is it a feature on devRant, that the order of tags are shuffled when posting?

I can't believe 1&1 SELLS internet.

Fuck off.

I hope and wish that a big company will support/back up VueJS. Maybe then VueJS can be commonly seen as a job requirement.

Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk?

studying computers at a college were
1/4 aim to become a model
1/4 are trying to become photographers
1/4 don't know what's happening yet
1/4 are actually interested in computers
#indianEducationSystem

1 + 1 = 1

What is this ??

---- Boolshit

That feeling of betrayal when you finally find a proper, well written and well formatted article/tutorial about a framework (or anything you are learning), only to find out it is "Part 1" and no other parts were ever written...

1==1 story

OMG, R programming language's index starts from 1.... #SHOCKED

WHERE 1 = 1

Building dynamic SQL since 1987

Happy age++ for me!

or age += 1
or age - age + age + 1
or while (newAge !== age +1) newAge = Math.random(0, 100)

there it is, couting with: 2 instantes of VisualStudio, 3 of chrome, 1 of firefox, 1 of gvim, 1 of notepad.exe, 1 of Spotify and 2 real notepads in the desk.

2 projects, 4 databases and 1 deadline tomorrow 😂.

man, the 2 monitor setup really helps, when you can, go get one for yourself.

Oh when did devRant start saying ++ instead of +1 in the system notifications? The notifs tab still says +1 though.

Some one at !DEA CELLULAR not doing his/her job well :D

Happy first of may, happy international worker fight day to all the devs out there. Unighted we stand, duvided we fall

IT admin on paternity leave since Friday.

Can't access one of our servers, backup person can't find their password.

So... Looks like I'm doing something else for a bit.

Alright y’all what’s the longest minute:

Microwave minute
Google drive upload 1 minute remaining
Windows copying less than 1 minute remaining
MacOS update screen 1 minute remaining

swag link says you need 20 +1's for stickers and 175 +1's for ball from each post. clicking on Learn More it then says you need 15 +1's for stickers and 150 +1's for ball from each post.
How about some stickers for spotting a content issue?

Either:
a = ( 1 + 2 )
or
a=(1+2)

there is no in between xD

I just did a weird thing... I am used to ++ with a double tap... So, I am on relay for Reddit and like the post and I double tap it expecting an up vote. What have you done to me devRant???

char *screw={'1','2'};
char **This={screw+1,screw+2}
char ***Shit=This
printf("%s ", *--*++Shit+1);

Exactly

0.
1. That arrays start at [1]
2.
3.

Copied and pasted code that contained line numbers from the web. Why does that frustrate me so much!?

Code review:
i ? plus.push(i) : --i ? neg.push(i) : zeros.push(i) || printThis() || checkAge() || !!window.MediaSource...

F***ing such a brilliant programmer, spent 4 hours to write it in 1 line, and will take your the guy who replaces you 4 hours to decipher, why are you so adverse to writing #readablecode?!!!

\n is cheap, if(){} is too

This isn't math class where a 3 line proof gets you kudos, stop wasting my time with your genius.

!rant
Will this code be compiled ?

#include<iostream>
using namespace std;
int main(){
int 🥩=1;
int 🧀=1;
int 🥬=1;
int 🍞=1;
int 🍅=1;
int 🥪=🍞+🥬+🍅+🧀+🥩;
cout<<🥪;

return 0;
}

12:55 AM, Subject gets and decides to look at crude oil chart.
1:05 AM, At it.
1:10 AM, Subject decides to check the temperature, using laptop screen in dark.
1:12 AM, Does a wild aerobic move to save flying laptop.
1:13 AM, Finds out that screen is gone.
1:23 AM, Orders new screen.
1:26 AM, Types this rant.

There're 10 types of people:
0. Those who starts at 0
1. Those who starts at 1

console.log (1+'1');
Console: 11
Me:

Ionic 1
For ionic push notification which is best
(1) Onesignal push notification
(2) Cordova plugin push notification
.?

WARNING MAJOR SPOILERS FOR AVENGERS INFINITY WAR

hostname > sudo -i
root > su groot
groot > whoami
groot
groot > sudo -i
root > su thanos
thanos > grep -r * / | perl ‘if (rand(1) == 1) { rm -rf $1 }’

I think the sleep deprived me is finally cracking under the weight of incompetent assholes.

We just launched a major project in some weird cocktail of Agile slapped with MVP and release to the wild in a waterfall, but it was premature, premature in the sense QA hasn't even finished their side of things, but because some fuck with with "manager" in their title decided they have burnt through the budget with incompetence and scrapped an entire element of the project and outsourced just so they could make a shittier version that doesn't even fucking work.

How hard do you want to fail before you will start listening to the people that now have to work around the fucking clock to clean up this horse shit of a mess.

I'm literally arguing over field mapping with multiple 3rd parties, when the fucking requirements state WTF this is suppose to look like. All because they didn't validate or test their own shit.

Why is EVERY FUCKING cock head in this industry a waste of space and cash! Is it really to much to ask for 1 fucking project to fucking go live that actually fucking works where I don't need to work 2 weeks straight (including weekends) after going live just to be sure that what shit does hit the fan isn't going to create a SEV 1 issue...

Sorry, I'm pissed at the incompetence of others I need to deal with on a daily basis. It's not like this field is insanely hard. A little attention to detail and self validation, verification goes a long way. But clearly that's a rarity.

Once this shit is stable and actually works, I'll be pulling out the mop to clean up half this shit just so it actually works.

Oof, I'm getting to old for this bullshit.

I've always heard about the "if one woman can deliver a baby in 9 months, 9 can do it in a month" situation people got in. But my bos just quoted that to me since we are stuck on deadlines.

If corporate always bothers that they can't find any female dev to hire, then encourage them to look into femboys!

Me - 1+1 is 2
Client : Did you say 1+1 is 2
Because even i thought 1+1 is 2 and i think we should go ahead with 1+1 2 because that seems like a good thing to me.

***"1+1 is 2" can be replaced by some long tech discussion

#my brain hurts

age += 1

( coz I'm used to using swift :3 )

I think that would be config tool for F1 Challenge ‘99-‘02 game which was called VMT Engine. It introduced me to modding community, the VMT Engine project taught me A LOT about software development.
The origin of this tool was I posted on F1 2014 VMT development forum thread “Hey! Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a tool that let you change tires type?”, so the VMT leader said “Why don’t you do it?”...So I did it 😐

I’m actually still updating the source code to this day

Choose the most stylish:

' OR 1 = 1 -- vs :(){ :|: & };:

Reason why we had a breakup
Me: int count = 1;

She: var count = 1;

😭😭😭

Wasted 2 days working on an obj (3d model) exporter….messed up meshes … missing faces … despair build after build …

And then the realization: Vertices in obj are 1-indexed.
…
..
.
FUCK
nobody learned anything from the array start at 1 meme

array(1, 2) or [1, 2]?

"Nearly every error is a +1/-1 issue. It's just finding which formula is wrong."

Hello devRant!

Gen X and Milennial Programmers:

Gen Z Programmers:

TDD:

it's almost done, I just have to add unit tests

DELETE FROM 'users' WHERE id-1

Oops 😅 I meant id=1

Maybe in a million or so years, 1 might gradually get close enough to be 2

It's over.

I've been working on you for months, and thinking about you for near a year.
I built you with a shitty language first and some crappy ideas. I obviously got bad results, but I didn't lose courage and I continued you.
Got near the obsession to improve you. Every time. Switched to a fast but hard language. Got into my first low-level fuss. All for you.

Now I reached the end with no more improvements and tweaks I could imagine, I can tell that:

I had a lot of expectations from you.

But turns out you were nothing more than a nasty brain fart pretending to be a good idea.

The core of the concept was rotten. Blinded by my lust for success (perhaps cupidity ?) I didn't see you just couldn't work.
I'm utterly disgusted, of course. Who wouldn't, after working so hard on something that looks right but is completely useless ?

But even though this was all in vain, you taught me some great lessons down the road.
Efficiency matters over facility.
Get sure you're using the right tools, and stay open for changes of such.

But some others were harsher, though just as important.
There's times you just have to admit defeat.
Putting a lot of efforts into something doesn't always bring a reward.
If after a long time you can't get the thing right, then stop. Your time is precious. Don't waste your time or time will waste you (Thanks Muse, I love this sentence).

And the most important: next time I got some "grand" idea that is not about improving some random software, I'll bang my head to my desk enough times to forget about it.

So now the time has come.

Goodbye, project "hpym". You put me in grief, but I know I matured a lot in my concepts of development because of you.
Now take place into the project graveyard among the other clunky half-assed shit I got rid off.

That one case ruined everything...

The time I was able to create GUI's!

Wow. I've only been active for a day and I've already got over 300 +1's and a rant in the top. Thank you to the devRant community and thank you devRant for being so cool!

1 on 1 meetings.

That’s it. This is the Rant.

Q) Real Programmers count from ......?
1) 0
2) 1
3) 😪
4) 😎

Why?

SELECT ...
FROM ...
WHERE ... AND 1=1;

{
programming_mode : 1,
music: 1,
world: 0
}
What's your favorite music style while Programming?

========== Build: 1 succeeded, 0 failed, 0 up-to-date, 1 skipped ==========

Programmers: x=x+1

Mathematicians: x=x+1

*confused silence*

When you spend 1 hour trying to solve a programming challange... And then realise "All integers starting with 1" means all integers from 1 to inf, and not all integers that begin with the digit 1. UUUGGH

Linux networking: A tragedy in three acts

ACT 1:
Wherein the system administrator writes their /etc/network/interfaces file as is the custom.

ACT 2:
Wherein the kafkaesque outputs of basic networking commands threaten basic sanity. Behold:

```
# ifup ens3:1
RTNETLINK answers: File exists
Failed to bring up ens3:1.
# ifdown ens3:1
ifdown: interface ens3:1 not configured
```

ACT 3:
Wherein all sanity is lost:

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)

That has to be the first time I actually ever saw somebody call 1 billion - 1 thousand million

['1', '7', '11'].map(parseInt)
// and this returns...
// drumroll please
[1, NaN, 3]

WAT

Lesson of the day? Dont use 1&1

wHo WrItEs OnLiNe LiKe ThIs?

ALSO THE UNIT MADE A REPLACEMENT CLASS IN THE TIMETABLE WHICH MEANS ALL OTHER UNIT CLASSES OR SLOTS CANNOT GO IN THERE FOR THE WHOLE SEMESTER, JUST FOR 1 WEEK!!!!

1 CLASS IN 1 TIMESLOT IN 1 WEEK FOR 2 HOURS IS RUINING MY WHOLE TIMETABLE

Project management 101:

1) For a new project, pretend it is similar to a project in currently in development
2) Proudly state that everything can be copied from the older project, so the schedule of the new can be tightened
3) Calculate the new schedule based on the "just copy and paste" effort.
4) Now the new project will be finished before the older project
5) Enjoy the applause from upper management for the successful project that hasn't even begun yet.

No, this does not belong in the joke category.

That's gonna be fun...

Every time I see the N+1 query problem in people's implementation, I feel like crying. Especially when it's dealing with large data sets of something like 1000 records.

How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? 1 or 2? 1... or 2?

#! / 1 = ?

woah, when did amazon get a competent ui designer? seriously, did jeff bezos really cough up $20 for a good amazon design on redbubble?

Hi,
every day I turn my laptop at work, I have to run like more than 10 programs in order to start working.
I have a question, anyone know how if there is a way make custom set of programs to run by just a click, this is really being annoying

age = ((age + 1)/2 * 2) * 0 + 29 - 1 * 1

1. Learn to be meticulous.
1. Learn to anticipate and prepare a functionality up to 90% accuracy and coding it in a one shot.
1. Become advanced in SQL.
1. Increase my modularity abstraction awareness.
1. Learn to TDD properly.
1. Don‘t get angry with my kids but explain to them with papa is always right in a Calm voice.
1. Do the same for partner.
1. Train my speed running in case partner wants to bash me.
1. Become advance d in Java.
1. Learn to write a bot.
1. Learn more about servers and hack at least one thing even if its a wifi.
1. Install kali linux.
1. Make myself a custom pc.
1. Ask god (or buddha if god is too busy) to make days longer.
1. Buy a vaporiser ao i can smoke my weed without mixing it to tobacco.
1. Get my license.
1. Start investing.
1.........

Relationships in the 20th century: 1:N
Relationships in the 21th century: N:1

Recently I learned that the collective noun for a group of hedgehogs is an "array".

Possibly the only kind of array where we can all agree, you'd have to start counting it from 1.

Or I guess you could just name a pet hedgehog "Element Zero" if that's how you prefer your arrays

What's up with giving away +1's for anything and everything? I thought this was a place for cranky developers. I expected developers over here to be mean and bullies.

Erlang... variables you can't vary? WTF!

Writing JS two weeks later...
const a =1
const b = a + 1
Why would I ever assign over a? Pfft.
const c = b + 1
...

Any formula 1 fans here on devRant?

Fuck yea!
We'll cancel our 1&1 internet contract —
And move to QuiX.

Countryside internet is shit. And QuiX builds fiberglass (or so) on countryside while stupid ass telekom only dares to enrich cities with fast internet connection.

And no I'm being paid by QuiX to say this. I don't know, maybe they suck but since I am a gamer in need of fast internet, I'm excited at least..