Hi everyone! Sam here, @dfox's gf :) so happy to be talking to you all! Today I will be live-ranting TNW Conference where devRant will be presenting with photos in this thread. Pictured here, @dfox and @trogus setting up our booth. There will also be a stage presentation, a sticker printer on site (because how could we not :)), and energy drink/stress ball giveaway. Stop by and say hi if you're here!!

Go devRant team!

I was explaining to my mom how my company is in need of developers and how we'll need more of them in the future - to which she replied:

"oh... what are you going to do? You can't live without a job!"

- erm? What?

"Well - you're not smart like those guys. You'll probably get fired now."

- Wtf mom!? I'm a friggin lead dev and i've been a developer for like 10 years now!? 😳

*silence* "is that what you've been doing? I thought you just kept clicking on stuff"

That moment when an SEO 'expert' asks if changing ip addresses will put his sites lower in Google.

I'm a fucking Linux engineer, how am I supposed to know that?!

Please live up to your fucking title "SEO *expert*" and don't ask some innocent Linux engineer about this shit 😡

Don't tell me how to live my life!

So I'm working on a live map of my school's bus system, and I needed some filler images to test out how the stops were being drawn on each route...and honestly wish I could push this version to production

How to have success when you are chatting with live support:

- Pretend to be a girl

This is very effective, I can get lower price and good deal almost every time.

WHATTT?!! I need 10 WHOLE POINTS JUST TO BUILD AN AVATAR!!! What kind of person would set such a high amount of points just to CREATE AN AVATAR! Do you know how hard that is for an introvert... ugg What kind of post should I rant about? I could rant about that one problem with HTML <divs>.. but then everyone would laugh at how simple that was... I could rant about how long I have had to live without this app. No no that would be way to big of a rant... hmmm. OH I KNOW!

This one guy REALLY WANTED to work on the hardware (aka arduino in this case) part.

After hours of trying (with 8 guys) of get it to work on windows which just didn't happen, he still refused to even live boot into a Ubuntu machine.

At the end of the day one of the members went to sit down with him to talk about it and the guy finally gave in.

Two seconds into Ubuntu and arduino was successfully up and running!

Then, every day whenever he didn't get something, he'd just do nothing for the entire day while claiming to be working. The team leader sat down with him and I did too, offering him to sit next to me for a day to see how backend stuff went (I was the backender).

Did it but it just went back to the same old bullshit.

I honestly don't mind it if you find it difficult to ask for help but if you, after numerous chances and conversations, still don't do shit, sorry but fuck off.

He was a nice guy and blamed his autism for it but that's just not how it works.

So at work today my coworker overlooked my laptop running Linux with i3.

Coworker: How do you live with this?

Me: What do you mean? This is customized to work with Git and my IDE efficiently while I do dev ops with my server.

Coworker: Your mouse barely works and you operate this thing totally on keyboard shortcuts. Linux will never be a serious platform.

Me: I'm not saying you or anyone at work has to use this, I built an environment to suite my needs. Same as anyone. I thought you liked consumer choice?

Needless to say we didn't get much further beyond him thinking I was nuts for configuring my server in the cli. I swear I don't understand why I try to explain anymore. 😡

Every goddamn time.

Boss: Hey, how is the project going?
Me: promising. We have some basic functions working, but at this point it is more like a proof of concept.
Boss: Ah ok, I see.

Couple of days later...

Boss: I talked to a client who was very interested in the stuff you are just building. Made a really good deal! We need to be live by the end of the week.
Me: What?
Boss: What?

Boss - so how long will this transport booking app take, native android and iOS ....plus backend, plus localization, plus live location tracking, blah blah.

Me - at least 4 months, or more

Boss - HOW can an app take MONTHS? That is totally unacceptable, it’s not gonna work this way, blah blah. I’m giving u 2 months, tops. No project should take more than 2 months.

—

Next app,
Boss - so this new e-commerce app needs to be made, u have api. How long?

Me - 2 months coz ——-

Boss - WHATTTTT!!!??? 2 months for an APP!!???? What is this? Not gonna work this way, you should make apps in a week. Other people make apps in a week.

Then fucking hire those other people. Lol.

"No matter how slick the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience, the probability of a flawless presentation is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved." - Mark Gibbs

Dear "managers,"

Stealing credit for something you have not done is real theft.

When I come up with an idea and a detailed outline of how to build and deliver it, you do not get to say "oh I also had this idea." You did not. How could you? It uses tech you don't even know exists.

When I then proceed to build the whole thing on my own without any of your inputs (then again, you have no idea of how it works, what would you bring to the table), you don't get to parade my project in front of the board not even mentioning my name.

You see, it's not the first time you pull that off, you have taken full credit for every thing.

it's not just my wee feelings getting hurt for lack of recognition: it has real world consequences.

You get the promotion, you get the salary raise and you now live in a flat with a balcony and a view, while my wife and I share a studio as my salary has not budged.

You're a cunting thief, I hope your mom dies.

Best,

X

How I chose a new smartphone:

- specs good?
Yes: good, continue.
No: hmm i might live.

- looks good?
Yes: OOHH MUCH BEAUTY, SUCH AWESOME, LET'S GO TO THE LAST ONE!!
No: 😩. I'll live I guess, last step :/.

- can find a rooting guide on DDG within a fee minutes?
Yes: YES YES I LOVE YOU ALREADY I'LL BUY YOU ❤😍
NO: FUUUCK. Next.

!dev

It's raining. I love it.
It's foggy. I love it.

But I live in a desert and nobody here seems to know how to handle the rain, let alone the fog. (It isn't hard, people!) Last night during my ~30 min drive home from work, five separate accidents/collisions happened just a little ways behind me because it was raining. Now it's foggy, too.

I have to go to work.
I'm scared.

Sometimes I feel I'm the live version of stack overflow for my family and friends...
Mom: The printer is acting up, how do I fix it?
Brother: I can't login to Netflix, help!
Grandparents: could you fix the radio/TV?
Gf: Apple can't validate my .uk mail

All to which I replied with the answer to life, the universe and everything...

FUCKING GOOGLE IT! Have you googled it?!

And the inevitable reply: no.

The only ones who get a free pass are my grandparents they were born in the 40's and think YouTube works on voodoo.

Ah yes, Brave, the browser that "respects your privacy" has started putting ads directly *in* the browser.

When they introduced Brave Rewards and people were confused why I was upset, it's because I knew it was a slippery slope to toward this sort of thing.

EDIT: Turns out, the ad is targeted towards LGBT people. As an LGBT person who just wants to live life in peace, this shit aggravates me even more. First, corporations are not your friends. They do not care about you. It's virtue signalling. Second, it's a bit ironic seeing as how Brenden Eich made Brave. If you don't already know, Brenden Eich (also creator of javascript) is pretty anti-gay.

So many things wrong with this. Can't wait to stop leasing away my devices' resources to advertisers.

How to Code...
“Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live”
― John Woods

My first IT interview, for a 1st Line Support job. I took 2 trains there and fully intended to make that journey every day until I could afford a car.
First interview question: "I've checked the train times from where you live, we have shift patterns which start at 7:30 but the earliest you can get here is 7:50, how would you get here on those early shifts?"
You bitch, you knew I wasn't going to get the fucking job and you still made me travel all the fucking way here.
I answered everything else fine but of course wasn't successful. They didn't even have the decency to let me know afterwards.

I drink too less, I sleep too less...
I think I need some documentation for my body

*makes course outline*
Management: Um yeah make the outline similar to this course from earlier
Me: Hmm, so Yocto etc.. well that'll require a good amount of research because I've got no idea what Yocto is or how I'm supposed to use it.
*researches about Yocto, prepares build VM and Raspberry Pi target, thinks of how on Earth I'd make my coworker without Raspberry Pi interface with it from across the world*

2 days later..

Management: Yeah actually we don't want Yocto. Just do simple stuff like application development, GPIO etc.
Me & co-worker: Awesome mate! That'll make things a lot easier. Except for the 2 days of lost work, but we can live with that if it's just GPIO and such.

3 days later..

Management: guys your course outline sucks. Do it all over again, we want Yocto to be in it after all.

YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Why don't you behave a little bit less like a fucking client that doesn't know what they want for once?!!

I was 11 or 12 years old, my dad had this policy that only *nix machines are allowed in our home, so I was rocking a Ubuntu pc at that time. I was messing around with it and tweaking some things here and there, but wanted to learn more. My dad showed me how to open python on the command line and gave me some simple tasks to do. Been hooked ever since.

PS. Still going by the same policy, even though I live on my own.

(Written March 13th at 2am.)

This morning (yesterday), my computer decided not to boot again: it halts on "cannot find firmware rtl-whatever" every time. (it has booted just fine several times since removing the firmware.) I've had quite the ordeal today trying to fix it, and every freaking step along the way has thrown errors and/or required workarounds and a lot of research.

Let's make a list of everything that went wrong!

1) Live CD: 2yo had been playing with it, and lost it. Not easy to find, and super smudgy.

2) Unencrypt volume: Dolphin reports errors when decrypting the volume. Research reveals the Live CD doesn't incude the cryptsetup packages. First attempts at installing them mysteriously fail.

3) Break for Lunch: automatic powersaving features turned off the displays, and also killed my session.

4) Live CD redux: 25min phonecall from work! yay, more things added to my six-month backlog.

5) Mount encrypted volume: Dolphin doesn't know how, and neither do I. Research ensues. Missing LVM2 package; lvmetad connection failure ad nauseam; had to look up commands to unlock, clone, open, and mount encrypted Luks volume, and how to perform these actions on Debian instead of Ubuntu/Kali. This group of steps took four hours.

6) Chroot into mounted volume group: No DNS! Research reveals how to share the host's resolv with the chroot.

7) `# apt install firmware-realtek`: /boot/initrd.img does not exist. Cannot update.

8) Find and mount /boot, then reinstall firmware: Apt cannot write to its log (minor), listed three install warnings, and initially refused to write to /boot/initrd.img-[...]

9) Reboot!: Volume group not found. Cannot process volume group. Dropping to a shell! oh no..

(Not listed: much research, many repeated attempts with various changes.)

At this point it's been 9 hours. I'm exhausted and frustrated and running out of ideas, so I ask @perfectasshole for help.
He walks me through some debugging steps (most of which i've already done), and we both get frustrated because everything looks correct but isn't working.

10) Thirteenth coming of the Live CD: `update-initramfs -u` within chroot throws warnings about /etc/crypttab and fsck, but everything looks fine with both. Still won't boot. Editing grub config manually to use the new volume group name likewise produces no boots. Nothing is making sense.

11) Rename volume group: doubles -'s for whatever reason; Rebooting gives the same dreaded "dropping to a shell" result.

A huge thank-you to @perfectasshole for spending three hours fighting with this issue with me! I finally fixed it about half an hour after he went to bed.

After renaming the volume group to what it was originally, one of the three recovery modes managed to actually boot and load the volume. From there I was able to run `update-initramfs -u` from the system proper (which completed without issue) and was able to boot normally thereafter.

I've run updates and rebooted twice now.
After twelve+ hours... yay, I have my Debian back!

oof.

last time I went into a "computer shop" one of the staff members was trying to sell this poor little old bloke a mid spec macbook pro just to Skype and email his son/grandkids who live in Australia, when he asked if there was a cheaper option as he didn't have much money they very rudely told him no and that they where the "experts", best bit is when I tried to point out how wrong this was and that he could do that on a cheap tablet (let alone a macbook) to a manager he tried to convince me that he needed the macbook.

are these people just stupid or really that shallow as to try and convince an elderly man to spend such an outrageous amount of money.

Manager: Hi, here is component X with 200k lines of code. Can you go through the code and see if you can implement component Y using component X?

Me: What does component X do?

Manager: I don't know.

Me: Is there a design docs for it?

Manager: I don't know. Can you check? Let me know when it is done.

*Wondering if I should joke and say "Oh management, hard job huh?"*

*Remembering how life is fucked up unfair and I need food to survive and house to live in and follow the society's rules and work hard to make the rich richer and shove money into their fat belly of greed...*

Me: OK.

rant¡

Client: "Can you add some logos to the homepage?"
Me: "Sure, I've just added it, take a look at staging."
Client: "Great, we can move it to live"

** 5 days later after it being moved to live and telling them I'm going on holiday. **

Client: "EMERGENCY change logo now, we need to change x logo. These logos look crappy too. How did this happen?"

Fuck this. I'm not employed by you, you don't have any right to speak to me like that. Especially after working tirelessly for your company.

**sent email back explaining how to upload files**

Told them not to contact me unless it's technically related.

My wifi was hacked two times last year, so I decided to change the factory credentials. Some months ago a tree fell on top of the cables on the street, cutting my internet connection. I call the ISP and when they get here they say I have no right for costumer support as I have altered my own connection.
WHAT. THE. FUCK
I had to revert the credentials to admin/admin in order get my internet back. These ISPs live in the fucking stone age. How the fuck do they force me to fucking have my router exposed with a fucking "admin/admin".
Fuck them.
I hope some day we have a cable revolution and finally have some rights over the networks we pay for with both tax money and excesive fees with low fucking speeds. Fuck them. Really.

After 16 years of porn addiction, I've finally realized that the only way to stop any addiction, is to take control of your mind. Nobody can help you, except make you realize the source of the problem or factors that cause it.

It's strange to describe how the mind works, sometimes we need stuff in our lives because we need to spend time on something to avoid the emptiness.

Free yourself from the things you love the most, in my case I love playing video games, it helps me feel complete, but in all honesty, I don't need it. I like drinking energy drinks, but in the end, I don't need that too.

My point is that once you find a way to deal with the things you can't live without, you find a way to live with it.

The only reason I watch porn is to reduce stress or have something "fun" to do.

As Bruce Lee once said: Be formless, be shapeless, be water my friend.

I like to think that he means to let the urge flow within you, but don't let it control you.

!Rant
Just told a colleague that I don't own a PC, laptop or tablet for home use. Look on his face was priceless, like he couldn't fathom how I live with nothing more than a low end Android phone. I would have taken a picture but the camera app takes like two minutes to load and shoot.

FUCK PHP!!!
We were trying to go live with a big online shop, it is connected through a crappy API to SAP.
PHP keeps outputting fucking errors because our intern doesn't fucking know how to properly write PHP.

YEAH, JUST FUCKING RETURN A WHOLE DIFFERENT TYPE OF DATA IF THE FUNCTION HAS AN ERROR.

Oh and using fucking strtr( ... ) to insert stuff in a string is REALLY FUCKING 1337...

And when you think the whole fuckery has reached the summit, just look at how HE FUCKING CREATED THE UGLY EMAIL TEMPLATE:
$content .= "UGLY HTML ABOMINATION";
$content .= "MORE UGLY HTML";
$content .= "HTML WITH SPELLING ERRORS";
$content .= "<table>";
$content .= "TEARS OF TIM BERNERS LEE";
$content .= "<table>HE FOGOT THE FUCKING '/'";

and dozens more of these lines...

and the whole piece for ALL 3 FUCKING LANGUAGES...

Thanks for writing the fucking backend stuff, it is better to rewrite the whole piece.

I'm afraid that the wanketeers got a hold of this one.. as if I care how fast or slow your browser is, as long as it isn't completely shit like pre-Quantum Firefox used to be! And does it even make the slightest bit of sense when there's nice and snappy websites like the motherfucking websites, but a shitload of shitsites that load several dozens of frameworks, because long live Web 2.0. 22% faster, ON WHAT?!

Business: we need feature x in two
Days, highly urgent!
Me: fine, here’s a shitty implementation we can live with until you decide how to Actually make this work in the future.

2 days pass...
Me: where’s the content for feature x?
Business: awaiting approval

5 more days pass...
Me: I’m guessing this super urgent request wasn’t needed after all?
Business: it’s still awaiting approval
Me: so... I’ll just go and remove this feature, and revisit when its actually needed.
Business: no, it’s needed now, we are just waiting on approval
Me: 🤷‍♂️

Duck my life sometimes.
I could have built a full fledged system of this shitty hack job instead in the time taken to approve a useless piece of content.

I love my girlfriend, but sometimes she doesn't get dev-work.
Last night, we had a fight over me sticking post-its to the wall in our home office. I find them helpful for keeping an overview of what I'm working on. She finds them ugly and decided to tear them all down without conferring with me. I got pissed. I almost always give in to her quirks and wants in every other aspect of how we live, so I feel like my desk space should at least be under my control. In my anger, I ordered her out of the room. She then proceeded to be sulking/angry with me up till and including this morning "because I overreacted".

Was I wrong? What should I have done differently?

Don't tell me how to live my life, 'Colin'.

The top reasons to become a dev are:
- your brain acutally gets challenged to its fullest
- you can fix most of your IT problems yourself
- you are forced to learn how to deal and live with stress

I won't list the disadvantages, becaus it would result in memory allocation errors.

Im going to fucking murder the QA team if they don't stop sender bullshit issues!

QA: hey dev, there is an error with attached files.
Me: okay what's the issue?
QA: it's just a random file that gets attached. Can you fix it by the end of the sprint(tomorrow)?
Me: I need to investigate it a bit before I can tell you how long it will take, how can I reproduce it?
QA: idk, it was just there.
*several hours of testing later*
Me: I've tried to cause the 'issue' on my local server, the test server and the live server. But I haven't seen it and I have no clue what could cause it.
*30min. before I go home*
QA: dev you have to fix it before you go home! Because we have some other important issues you have to fix tomorrow!

FUCK YOU AND YOUR IMAGINARY ISSUES I'M GOING HOME

so my parents live close and my dad said his router died. I told him I had a spare. I loaded it dd-wrt on there and next time I went over there he asked about opening a port. I said I could do it for him. wouldn't let me touch it. he believes he is the computer genius and that I would brake it.

funny part is I work on servers for huge companies like Wells Fargo, Ally Bank and tons of others. I can configure a rack mount router but he doesn't trust me to touch a little crappy home linksys router lol.

no matter how smart you are they never want to admit their kid knows more about tech than they do.

I’ve just talked to my cousin (24 yo) about smartphones, since I saw that he has an old phone and I asked him if he wanted to buy my old S6 (for reasonable price), he declined this offer moreover he said that he is not planning to change his current device. I was kinda shocked tbh how one can live like that (being online only when using PC), a while after that I realised that he was the one who was smart in this conversation, the one that does not get influenced by others in this matter. I wish I could live like that, when he is not available, he’s just not available. I mean this rant is not purely dev related, but, quite a lot of us here are maintaining some projects, maybe need to talk to managers after their work to make some decisions, doing some side projects. I know that we sort of agreed with those rules at the beginning, but don’t forget to stay offline for some time, especially now when holidays are coming and there will be occasions to spend some time with our families. Just a friendly reminder :)

Oh I have a good one.

A dev once was added to the team -he deleted all of the whitespace from the backend code (minified) and called that optimising. We had a lot of back and forth and me reverting the things back to non minified and him back to minified on live environement. I shit you not i had to endure that shit and he kept on insisting that I'm the shitty developer because I don't know how to optimise. I'm starting to rage even thinking about it....

OK I live in lithuania, small country, my grandparents live in silute, super small city, the internet is shit here, I need to use my mobile data to program, next day I wake up to this graph explaining me how I lost all of my fucking data😤

I just love it when our clients decide to make a clone of live production server..then put it immediately online..and don't tell anyone about this.. and then start bitchin how data gets doubled all of a sudden..

Yeah, no shit sherlock.. you have two prod servers for 'hot swapping' and some services may only be running on one at a time.. You even have a manual on how to switch primary to secondary (turn off services on primary first, then turn them on on secondary and all)..or in case primary actually dies, just turn on services on secondary and you're good to go, right?

So how do ya think cloning the one with running services and putting the clone immediately online will work out?! 🤔

God, I thought it was common sense to not do that..but here I am, bitchin about how people fail to RTFM.. :/ or use brain..fuck..

My company is providing cloud infrastructure to our customers. For research purposes we are running a little openstack cloud in our laboratory datacenter were we can test stuff before implementing it in the productive environment.

Last week the manager asked me to shut down the cluster over night and only power on the servers when we need it. (about twice a week)

The reason: it produces too much heat.

My answer was: No.
First off thats not how cloud infrastructure works, and how about a proper climate control?

Sometimes i ask myself in which parallel universum our managers live 😑

We should learn how to live life from Linux.

Please allow me to share my thoughts since I can't totally outrage my frustration because we have this so-called fasting to control our anger towards a person we currently disagree with.

A letter from your loving, sincere, pretty and gorgeous working partner to my young, chubby, smart and clever colleague:

Please do cooperate in times of live editing from the FTP since CTO is not and will never be going to appreciate version control since CTO is too tired for giving a shit and just want deliverables be delivered as fuck perfectly regardless of the resources that we have.

As you know, I tolerated you for not getting the freedom of live editing as what you've experienced from your previous team lead. All I ask of you is to get fresh file from FTP whenever we touch the same file because firstly, God knows how frustrating it is how your hard work is going to be replaced and be gone as much as I do. Secondly, I don't want you to experience how pain in the ass could this be in the long run, and lastly, I don't want any hard feelings to be wasted just because of this.

P.S. I'm too shy to send this to you because I don't want to hurt your feelings and don't want to sound too seriouz and feel old. I also hope we share the same telepathic understanding so we can agree with each other.

Your loving, sincere, pretty and gorgeous working partner,
xoxo ❤️

(thinking of stating my first name) 😂

Not a rant. Just a story.

So two weeks ago, a cat gave birth to two beautiful kittens in our balcony. We started giving milk to the mother and sometimes inviting the family to our house. The kittens are naughty charming. The mother sits for hours and sometimes sleeps while watching us do our chores (watching movies, coding, etc.)

Now, we live in New Delhi and Wednesday was Diwali. The family was playing in the balcony and we had to go out. So we locked the balcony door and went to have fun with friends. We didn't realize that people would burst firecrackers which could scare the cats. When we returned, the mother was very scared and (kind of) screaming. One of the kittens was missing!! We live on the fourth floor and I got scared too. We searched using a flashlight but there was no sign of kitten. After 30 minutes of search, We gave up. I assumed the kitten jumped from the balcony and might be dead. I tried to sleep but could not. Around 4 AM in the morning, I heard some noise. When I opened the door, the second kitten was there. Her mom was scolding (or so it seemed). It was a moment of joy.

Thought of sharing. This family has become our friends. Now I realize how cats are good companions.

So last semester, my college made a class compulsory to attend.
We were taught, "How to install MongoDB on Windows"...
With screenshots, not even live installation.

I wanted to die.. So much.. 😖

Today I learned that there are people that disable javascript...

Quote: "It's both insecure and resource intensive"

Then he went that only if the script is free he would see what it is to run it.

He also said that he would never allow any js file that comes from google even jquery...

I wonder, how does a man like this live today when most of the websites are heavily dependant on javascript?

I wouldn't live in an isolated world just to be 100% secure, I want my good user experience xD

I am being mentored all of my life.

Parents mentored me that I won’t get to that school and I should pick other one ( I got there where I wanted ).

Politicians mentor me to make me happier by taking more and more of money I earned ( I am not ).

Advertisers mentor me to buy their products cause those are best products in the world ( I buy cheaper versions produced in same factories by same people ).

My boss ( when I got one ) mentored me that everything is simple and could be done in 5 minutes. ( after reading some dummy article )

Coworkers are mentoring me everyday that it’s not their fault ( It definitely is ).

Telemarketers, emails, sms messages are mentoring me about my future, don’t miss that occasion, it’s best for your life ( No it’s not )

Celebrities are mentoring me how to live my life to become a successful person ( Yeah right, cause they known how to become one right after they were born ).

Now I see I am starting living in times where computer will start mentoring me how to live my life. ( Sometimes it already is )

What’s left is doctors start mentoring me about my illnesses and children ( if I ever have one ) mentoring me about how dumb I am.

Then I can finally peacefully die and don’t come back to this mentoring hell.

How clients tend to not understand how much work developing a "simple" or "small" feature can be.

Hey add live chat, that's easy right?

I've been reading a lots of posts about the "Age of No Privacy" and how our most personal information is spread and abused.
Well, obviously those complaining didn't have the displeasure of being born into an Ashkenazi Jewish family.
I had a small medical procedure, and my entire family (spread across 4 continents) became aware of it, created a WhatsApp group to discuss it (with message traffic that would shame any war room), and then my younger cousins asked that we post photos.
Of what?! My fucking colon? How about I stream the whole process live on Facebook, you crazy little shits?!
My point is - we violate the privacy of our close friends and loved ones daily, giving very little thought to what sort of information should or should not be forwarded. I'm not opposing to the battle against great evils, but maybe we should start by not committing small evils daily.

User: - The application throws an errror message.

Me: - The error message is caused by a minor bug that doesn't affect functionality, though. This is an old solution that is in the pipe to be redesigned from scratch. As this function is rarely used, perhaps you can live with this cosmetic bug for a couple more months?

User (one week later): - I haven't got any answer from you. How is this issue proceeding?

GF: How was your pitch to investors?
Me: it was great (... went-ahead to talk about the daunting process of the preparation and motivation).
GF: Why do you go through all this process, when you can become a fraudster, you can use voodoo and make it even easier, in less than 3 months you can buy a duplex, nice car and we can go shopping... you don't need to do any human ritual unlike before - I heard you can even meet a chief priest to make it faster for you.
just get the bag abeg (slang for getting rich quick).

Me: Fuck the day I met you, not everyone wants to be a low-life, and fuck out from my life.

Men if you live in a saner society, or you are born to elite/upper-middle-class you don't how lucky you are.
Most times I wonder how I keep my sanity with all these shitty people around. like messed up society where almost everyone is a fucking deep hypocrite
.I know I need to change my circle but how the fuck do I do that when I am surrounded by fuckstards, which are far worst than Gypsies.
lowlifes with low dreams.
I need to get the fuck out of this place!

!rant && extra('worried');

My 11 years-old brother seems to be addicted to Minecraft, not the "dis iz so kool" addiction, but the "I put my health and education in danger to keep playing this game (homeworks badly done, grades free falling, showers without soap in 30s flat, food eaten in 15s, starts to yell at parents when they want him to stop playing (parents bitch slapped him a few times for this, but he seems to persist)).

My parents are over 55 now, so they don't really know how to handle this (can't / don't want to blame them), and I'm supposed shove some reason in his dead brain next weekend (I live 150km away).
I've been addicted myself to videogames in general and WoW in particular ((almost) no regrets) a few years back.. what should I say to him else than "This shit will ruin your life even before you started it" (which is planned anyway) ?

PM: stressed out and during the briefing, keep reminding us how urgent is this project:

"This project need to go live this Friday"
"We only have 5 days to complete this."
"Client need this campaign to go live as soon as possible"
"We need to have a quick catch up every morning to ensure we are on track"

I have been working in digital agency for 7 years. When you heard something like this, there's a high chance that the deadline is a FAKE deadline. Very likely it will be delayed for another few days.

I have worked with a handful of very green devs in the last 10 years. A common theme has emerged.

They don't heed any of my advice.

An exercise to the reader:

If you have a Windows machine, but need to work in a Linux environment, what would be your first instinct how to proceed?

In this exercise, you are as green as it gets. You have very little professional development experience, let alone server admin experience. And your lead dev has suggested setting up a VM.

1. Set up a Linux VM
2. Use a live CD or set up a dual boot system
3. Pay for a cloud server and set it up from scratch

I have no idea how this person intends to get any work done on a remote, terminal only, Linux server. That is if I can even get their environment into a sane configuration.

Yepp.. The older you get, the faster the time flies by. Remember how long days used to be when you were 10? How much you used to do then? And now? You barely skim through your emails and it's already lunch time.. And soon after that it's already time to go home, go to sleep. And the next day is the same. Round robin, round robin... And when you think that the pooft-you're-gone moment is approaching faster and faster every year, you wonder what are you leaving behind, to remember you by.. A few dev projects that will drown to oblivion a few years after you're out, a few modules in other projects that will live longer but your code lines will soon be overwritten and forgotten in git's history, where noone ever scrolls to. Your own projects you have never released. Your fam who will remember you until their grandchildren - after that older generations are forgotten...

What is it that will keep people saying your name after you're gone? What significant have you given to the life?

Earlier this day (or yesterday, timezones 'n stuff) I posted a "rant" about my new Project:

"The Spigot Web Framework" - a Tool that should help Owners of Minecraftservers without dedicated Webserver and knowledge about developing a website.

In the Screenshot below I show you guys, how few lines of code can make a beautiful website.

The Modulemanager is fully done and people can build their own Modules, which can be live updated.

I am currently working on "cross communication" between the Client and the Modules.

I hope you guys stay tuned!

EDIT: As mentioned in my last rant (look @comments) I will be able to pull off a standalone version of this software.

I'm working on a larger web project for authorities that went live yesterday.
I also trained the staff for the last two days so that everyone knows how to register an account, use the application etc.

Got the first call today: "I can't create an account...the website does not start".

Uh..okay...what the? >_>

Turns out, the user entered the URL in Google Search and wondered why nothing happens and why the website does not load.

Wow... and that was just the first call.

GRANDPAFUCKING RETARDS!
I HOPE YOU ALL DIE ON SOME ELEPHANT DICKS TURNED AROUND YOUR HEADS WHILE GETTING RAPED BY THOUSANDS OF GIRAFFES (EACH OF THEM BEING SO HORNY THAT THEY ALSO COULD FUCK YOUR WIFE AT THE SAME TIME!)

THEY ASK ME A FUCKING QUESTION AND ONLY GIVE ME THE OPTION TO AGREE ON THE COOKIE POP-UP TO ENTER THE WEBSITE! YOU DIPSHITS!
YOU SISTERFUCKING ASSHOLES!

WELL... I FUCKING CLICKED "AGREE" AND WHEN I FINALLY FOUND THE PRIVACY CENTER (LOL) THE SAME FUCKING POP-UP DID APPEAR!
HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING FUCK YOURSELF, DISTROWATCH?!

Btw. they really still use tables instead of proper css styling.
DO WE LIVE IN THE FUCKING STONE AGE?!

My mum just had to call me to change our home WiFi password, because she can't change it on her laptop.

She's pretty bad with technology, but she had to call me to do it, because no one else knew how to. Including my brother-in-law who designs IT systems for major banks and system admins working for the government.

She had to call me, from Hungary to do it. I live in Scotland.

it is really frustrating not to be able to actually maintain and improve the code you're working with. i'd be happy to completely dig in and live in the code and get it all - not so much fucked up - , or, totally spitballing here, do some research on how we could improve the functionality and performance in general (which is not "nice to have", but rather ongoing customer pain points), but I'm not allowed to, because management hates having maintainable code or even an adequate number of devs. it rather has me doing hippity hoppity between different projects to make sure nothing gets my full attention. -.-

the only thing i can do is to clean it up a bit during bug fixes, but even heavy polishing won't fix this giant pile of garbage that is called our code base.

Day 7 post turning 30:

I can feel the boomer mentality kicking in at full strength.
I find myself talking to people about how 90's music was so great and kids these days won't get to appreciate it.
I see so many people with jobs who are significantly younger than me.
I sleep a couple hours more than I used to.
I live a routine life which is how I don't feel time passing by me.
I hear a voice inside my head telling me to quit gym because i am gonna grow weak anyway. Also, it would help with my productivity.

Wow I didn't realise how much money I could be saving by actually putting things in my dishwasher when I run it.
Mind-blowing right?

I used to just run my dishwasher empty every day for the fun, but now I get clean dishes too 🤯?
What a wonderful age we live in.

Thanks corporate water ad 👍

My latest post about my mother made me finally realize the whole picture.

Five minutes ago, I send her a long message that describes how I feel. This message will be the very last act of communication that will happen between us.

This felt like a bullet coming one inch away from my head. Like SWAT team rescuing me from a predator's basement where I spent the last ten years. Part of me already realized what happened and is serene, part of me still can't get used to an idea that this was, in fact, the end, and no further harm will be done.

My future is bright. It's so nice to feel that she doesn't know where I live.

So, giving a talk soon and marketing wanted to see the slides.

Comments come back. On every slide that is purely visual they've suggested I add a title and a para or two of text.

Fuck you and your fucking slideuments. If you want them to read the material send them a memo and save me the fucking trip.

Or even better, turn up yourselves and read lists of bulletpoints off the screen for 30 mins while I sit in hotel hot-tub with a cocktail.

I hate the inanity of corporate life.

Next time I'm going to send you a blank slide and live draw my diagrams. See how you like that, arseholes.

A T.A. in my university.
He's kind of a java expert and the class was about advanced oop principles.
But the way he coded live in class and spoke clearly how he approaches the problems was the best thing that I got from the class.

Needless to say, nearly everyone that enrolls in that class, starts to love java afterwards xD

How I feel when I have to restore bits and pieces of a live database from an old backup

Our CEO had a virtual town hall using Zoom and now have a sign language interpreter box as a regular feature... To go along with all the Inclusion stuff...

The most immediate problem though is they didn't turn on auto-captions...

I don't know sign but am deaf so needed the captions which it turns out you can get using the Google Recorder app on Pixels. (This is literally like a fuck you to non-Pixel users and Zoom which disables Live Captions in conferences and recording full transcripts).

Anyway I left it own and near the end, a speaker was like "we're getting a lot of likes and positive feedback about the interpreter box! See how small changes make such a big difference?!"

And well of course in my mind I'm going "uh.... No."

I'll just go back to not caring about anything that isn't related to how much I make.

WTF Windows.
I was assigned as TA to a highschool CS class, and was doing a live demonstration to ~20 students on how to install the Python environment and set up venv (on Windows, since that is what the majority of students use).
After installing Python, I tried to demonstrate invoking the Python environment by typing "python" in the command prompt. However, that opened up Microsoft Store instead.
Being extremely confused, I had to talk nonsense for 2 minutes while frantically look up what happened on another screen.
In the end, it seems like Microsoft recently introduced this "feature" that automatically associates the opening of a program to whatever it feels like.
-.-

What sucks most about smartphones is how much everyone came to rely on them and expect you to have one which is turned on and working. Rent a bike? Need an app! Log in somewhere? Need 2FA. I just want to leave my phone turned off for a few days like in the good old days. There must be something wrong with the way we live.

Why is source code so crappy? May career is not the longest, buy in my 8 years I talked to so many developers and every one told me how important quality, standards, tests and architecture are - but every codebase I've seen is lacking all of it. Everything is running on constant live support.

I don't get it. It is like I live in a world where everyone does know what has to be done, but no-one does it. I suspect it is because people are lazy, lying and won't say no but that's also not a world I want to live in.

!dev

Lots of dudes keep posting his "check in at the gym" statuses on fb.

Shit like that irritates me. I go to the gym at least once a day, have been going since my military days. I have no need to take pictures and or let my fb people know about that shit. I have way more important shit to do.

My biggest thing is, how the fuck do you equate going to the gym with success?

A picture of you working out with the tags "chasing my dreams", "towards my goal in life", "getting the future i want" <----how? Are you gonna live of getting slim and fit? I mean, you can, but then why are you still living with your parents being unemployed?

How? You can't say that you are chasing your dreams there when the only reason you get to go 5 times a day there is because you are unemployed......

Just saying

Rant

Wtf is Instagram. Seriously how many times do you have to be hit in the head with a fucking shovel to be even moderately amused by that garbage fire. You can't even upload more than ten files at once?! I mean I get server space but fuck me! That shit is goddamn fucking pathetic as fuck. These cock licking cockroaches who find interest in this banal baby vomit green trash are using precious oxygen. Seriously, to upload multiple photos took like twenty minutes. And then they were all wrong because I shot them 4:3. But this is a fucking photo sharing application and crops wrong with 4:3. What the living, breathing, fucking fuck? People actually live with this shit and use this?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! How narcissistic and stupid do you have to be to put with an application that doesn't even fucking run in browser. This was my first time ever attempting this fucking black hole of vapid self destruction. Never again. And fuck people willing to do it.

Christmas Party (2016) SPOILER ALERT

you've been warned

mental discussion I had yesterday after watching Christmas Party:

Hacker me: "I wonder if is really this easy take down the internet connection of an entire city........... maybe I'll google it around and see"

Normal Person me: "Let me get this straight you're thinking to google 'how to take down city internet'? ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT???? DO YOU REALIZE IN WHICH KIND OF WORLD WE LIVE NOW? DO YOU REALLY WANT THE SECRET SERVICE OF 5 DIFFERENT COUNTRY TO KICK DOWN YOUR DOOR AT 5 IN THE MORNING???????"

Alright, I need suggestions. I live in a small town and outside of my primary job, I own my own IT business. A lot of (l)users have eagerly asking if I’ll be teaching classes to explain some of the key things a computer is capable of doing. (Most of them will be elderly.)

How much would you charge for this? I’ve got about 20 people confirmed and I was thinking about doing 20$ a head. What seems reasonable? Keep in mind, this is a smaller sized town.

Any Covid-19 virus stories to share on how it affected your dev work live?

I'm currently tired, stressed, anguish and frustrated.

I have a live issue(a bug to hot fix asap), 7 files to reprocess to be finished by tomorow, 2 enhancements( 1 under pre-live testing, 1 for live release), and an unstable internet connection today. Tomorrow is saturday. Clock is ticking.

How am i suppose to finish everything on time? :(

When you've got two unpublished side project Android apps that you need to put the polishing touches on, a passion project website that you've half started, a new job that you probably should study for, and you say to yourself: "there's no Windows live tile that does this particular thing that I want. Guess I'll learn how to make them."

Also, is it just me, or should developing live tiles be way more straight forward? I know it's like the least hip thing I could be making, but I've never claimed to be a hip person.

Fuck first level support.
Usually the users are the problem because they don't know how to reboot or they delay software updates to infinity if you give them the option.

Additionally, having to log in on a user's computer, I always feel like I'm entering a messy's appartment. How can they live like that?
Fucking imbeciles.

I live in lines of code, broken environments, and tattered tests and you want to know how it's going...
every 30 minutes...
all day every day..
for a week.

And now I am attempting a GTA V hack to explode this Program Managers phone into his thick corporate skull.

Wish me luck
Project_Engineer >= 🍀=💩:= 🖕

Xcode storyboards

I can't do it justice by explaining how many times having the entire UI flow in one file has helped me.

Even for unexpected stuff, like an Android dev joining the team and needing to know the workflow of login / registration -> print screen the storyboard.

Manager asking for all the different possible paths through the app -> print screen the storyboard(s).

And then live rendering of custom components to be able to see them while playing with alignments.

While it has its bugs, and could have a few more features, it's too useful to ignore.

I know many iOS devs don't like it, and that's fine because I don't like them either and I don't hire them ;-)

So, those of you who have been in quarantine for more than a week, how are you keeping your sanity?

Specially the news, goddamn, people are so stupid. The number of infected around here has been skyrocketing so I'm not even afraid of getting the virus anymore, I'm more afraid of the damn numbers going up.

Also, those of you who don't live alone, need not reply. 😝

I like my independence, but goddamn this feels a lot like being in luxury solitary confinement. Plus, I have to cook for myself.

Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

This is for all those people that like dark themes and when asked why you say it's because light attracts bugs.

I would like to explain how that is just so wrong. Bugs attracted to light are moths and a few other flying bugs.

The rest of the bugs live and thrive in darkeness. Cockroaches, bedbugs, spiders etc.

In fact mosquitoes hunt at night and prefer to hunt in the dark.

I just had to put this out there.

Do you live alone? Do you work hard and barely have time to do things?
Please tell me how you eat 3 meals of healthy food. If you do of course..

Best: learnt how to deploy Wildfly application server from scratch on a live environment without messing up.

Worst: could not continue working because my internship was over.

Me: DMs coworkers that appear online after their working hours to check on them and make sure they’re not feeling like they’re obligated to work more/encouraging them to take time for themselves

Also me: Can’t sleep at 4am, so immediately start trying to chase down the genesis of an error someone complained about

Another member of the team updated the production JSON configuration of the project with a missing comma, this broke a system that's not yet live and where there aren't any real users (only used for demos/testing).

Instead of having a good laugh about how silly this was, the CTO/CEO removed their write access to production..

Just received and set up my first SSD (Samsung 860 EVO) with GNU/Linux!
Am I the only one who wonders how he was able to live without one for such a long time?

Well I wish I could abandon jQuery and bootstrap all together and just use some vuejs admin template with my Laravel app. But things are not that easy and I am a lvl 1.0 vuejs user.

So sorry V girl, you gotta learn how to live with Mr.J for a few more months.

Okay, mr neighbor, i get it, how have a drill and too many walls, youve been doing this crap for the past fucking week, do you have a cheese fetish and want to live in an ementaler????

I usually crib about how stupid people are and how I struggle to stay afloat.

Let's switch some gears now. A post about some good people, product, and processes.

You know what the common theme here is?

The goodness here cannot be measured. Your first interaction with them makes you feel so comfortable that you start feeling butterflies.

These people just keep on giving. They are selfless. They are pure. They actually care.

And when you think it's done, then they give you some more.

What blows me away is, they don't expect or accept anything in return. Absolutely nothing. Not even a simple thank you.

And they are like a wizard. They walk into your life when you least expect them but need them the most. And when the task is done, they'll be gone before you even know.

No lingering, no drama, no bullshit. Just pure goodness.

Like my ex-lead in current company, I have a very senior guy in neighbouring team (for which they were gonna hire me initially), who also happened to interview me, is a gem.

He takes care of me like his own younger brother. Supports me and always answers my queries no matter how occupied he is.

And same is with good products and processes. They feel effortless. So smooth and add exceptional value to your existence. They give rise to wonderful companies.

You'd never experience a single negative aspect about them. No matter how much you try, things will just keep getting better until they don't need to.

And then they'll be long gone. Never to be seen again and never to be forgotten.

You cherish them only in your memory and wish they lasted longer. But they didn't because the purpose was served.

Such people and experiences inspire me. They push me to become a better human.

No matter how the world is or how it treats me, I must always live with high values and be a better version of past self.

The other evening, I was conversing with my mother where we spoke about some family friends who are insanely wealthy but humble and kind.

Mom and I mutually agreed that they don't have such good traits because they are wealthy, but they are wealthy because they live with humility, kindness, and pure intentions.

World is surely a beautiful place because of such people and I aspire to be one. May lord guide me well :)

Stopped coding for 5 months.
For 5 months I didn't forget my name, my age, how to sleep and the fact I live every second.
Fortunately, now I code again.

Hot tip: if you are a company, don’t ever ever ever ever spend your money on an Optimizely academy course. They have the worst course material I have ever seen in my life, and the material is outdated by several years from exercise to exercise. And the training videos are literally just a recording of a live class with a couple students. They should pay me to sit through this fucking shitshow. It is not worth a single cent, but guess how much they charge for the course and certification?!?! $2300 😱🫣😂. It’s so fucking bad I want to kill myself. Whoever decided to pour as little effort into this as possible over at Optimizely, I hereby curse you to a 2300 painful deaths and I hope someone shoves a ice cold rod up your ass to wake you up. *slams keyboard*

Remote work (for the software industry, at least) is PERFECT and I still haven't heard a single argument against it that could not be derived into one of the following explanations:
- the complainer is/has a terrible manager
- the complainer has a shitty house
- the complainer has a shitty family
- the complainer is a shitty person
Naturally I mean only real-adult healthy people who work in the software industry.

I will now list the complaints I have heard more often. All fit neatly in the categories above:
- "my family interrupts me a lot, require lots of attention and/or creates an environment I cannot work in" - in this case it is very irresponsible of the complainer to try and escape to an office. If the adults you live with cannot get by without you, how going to an office will help them? If you can't teach your children to behave, who will?

- "my house is noisy and/or uncomfortable" - move out! if you can go to the office, you can look for another place to live.

- "I need in person conversations to understand people / zoom meetings are a waste of time" - why? do you need the smell of other people to properly organize your thoughts? Yes, meetings are extra-shitty during the pandemic. But pandemics come and go and your terrible time management skills won't simply improve themselves. Learn to lead better meetings instead of blaming the medium.

- "I miss face-to-face interactions at work" - Those do not miss you. If you want to have personal conversations, do it *out of working hours* with consenting adults. If you want to have personal touch in work contexts, it is called "sexual harassment" and is a crime.

- "my employees / colleagues are not as effective without me breathing at their necks" - you are a terrible manager and leader if you can't inspire people in words only. Maybe even video.

My main point is, there is no argument against WFH. When people try to argue against it, they often actually mean "I don't like the pandemic". No shit. Life will be better after people stop dieing for breathing close to their friends and family. In the mean time, learn to organize your life instead of running away from it every day.

Have you ever been to love theatre? How many times? Have you ever seen a movie? How many?
Why so many more movies than live theatre? You think you would have liked the movies, and their price, more if it was live theatre? Would you have seen as many?
WFH is not perfect for everybody in the planet. But it sure is for the software industry.

What are your thoughts on working for a company that give their devs jira tickets that don't have any descriptions? I work for a big organisation (It's actually in the top 3 biggest companies in the country I live in) and I work in a team that has quite possibly the worst agile practice I've ever seen. We get tickets without any descriptions at all. The worst bit is then we get pressure from project management for not delivering things on time. Do they actually realise how difficult it is to deliver something without any business requirements? I have to have a million meetings before I even know wtf the ticket is about. It's incredibly annoying.

!rant

Me and one of my best friends joke way too much about being in a relationship that when he said that we should get married I legit spaced out and started to think how would that even work because he lives in Mexico and I live in the U.S. then i wondered how our work schedule would be and who would hog his gaming pc the most

We are both dudes and we are not gay. But you know man...if you are nor gay for your best friend...are you even best friends?

How can you call yourself a code if you live in a city and never experience the outdoors, trees, birds, life. I do it all the time and it gives me so many more ideas and concepts to include in my coding.
#include <outdoors.hpp>

Our Excel file of critical bugs to fix before live went from 18 to 11 today. I was super happy... then I asked my colleague how he was getting on with his "Points from the designer" task.

It's another document which had 25 new points added to it this afternoon.

sales-managers: How long do you need to implement feature X ?
software-dev: Hmmm, that's nothing we have in our default-packages ... could be nasty, because it won't work without feature Y, which also does not exist in the current version 3 of our system.
I need to investigate this issue.
... 2 days later:
software-dev: This is really a nasty problem - to make X work, we've to reimplement Y for our system version 3, but this won't work with feature Z.
If we do this, it may take several weeks.
sales-manager: we need to go live in 2 months.
software-dev: might work.
------
1 week before go-live:
sales-manager: The customer saw us testing feature X. He does not like it. Could we just do it in ... blabla ... this way?
software-dev: This would work out of the box with feature Z, yes - we've to remove feature Y and X for that. But be warned - this might work next week without testing only.
sales-mamanger: do it now!
day of go live:
The customer tried the new feature X - it won't work.
software-dev: But it's not there, was removed, instead he has to use feature Z.
...
sales-guy comes back: He does not like it.
software-dev: why not? its working!
sales-guy: Yes, but he still wants it to work like feature X as he ordered.
software-dev: according to the specs, its exactly what he ordered. look at that: (showing the general specifications of project, showing feature Z).
...
sales-guy: The customer did not review this new document since last week.... Its still feature X
...
dev: really? why? I sent that version to you the day, he said, he doesn't like feature X, and you said I've to change that just urgently.
sales-guy: Please switch back to the version with X of last week. - could you. please ?
me: This won't work, because the other colleagues already finished their stuff on that currently running system - we'll lose all the optimations we've done to make this and other stuff work.
----- FAIL ------- NEVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT SIGNATURE OF THE CUSTOMER !!!
One week onsite and rescheduled go-live is just so-what expensive.
Today (some weeks later) ... I saw someone else sitting in sales-guys office.

That feeling when you walk in a room, make a few steps on the floor and hear how all the walls are making cracking noises...

And some people choose to live in apartments/houses like that one.. Where walls can be punctured with a finger

what happened to firm, sturdy constructions...? What happened to strong walls and steady floors?

No way.. My house is gonna be built with rocks. Or at least a better part of it

!rant
How to self host a website?
Seriously, through many guides out there, I was never been able to see my site (hosted on a raspberrypi with nginx) outside the local network. I always tried to link my router to no-ip without success outside my localhost, the port 80 is already open for the raspberrypi. I live in Italy, can it be that the local ISPs obstacle the creation of such homemade website hosts?

I'm done fighting with my professor over my thesis project. They want me to go slower in building my project and we only have 7 weeks to deployment. Well screw you how in the hell do you expect me to prototype, build, bug fix and deploy all this and go SLOWER. YOU AREN'T AIMING TO BE A CAREER DEVELOPER ARE YOU?

I feel really sick this morning. Between the anxiety of graduating soon and my debt...

I just want live for myself. Not the sake of a school or some corporate entity. When this is over I want to work overseas in Europe. Do something for myself for once.

So a problem end client of mine made my life hell for 3 months.

She hired a design agency to design her a bespoke site, she signs off on it and then once I've made it she decides that it's just a draft.

She then spend the next 3 months emailing me multiple times a day, calling the office and calling my personal phone. I'm still not sure how she got my number.

after 3 months on a two week project, many conference calls and changing every single template so that the site is unrecognisable it is finally live.

This woman literally went around her whole office, building and street asking them what they thought should be changed.

Not only that but half way through she suddenly told me she wanted it live in 2 days with a list of changes as long as my arm. I managed it and she wanted more changes anyway so it didnt go live...

The moral of the story is, never go the extra mile for a client more than twice, make sure you charge them for your extra time, try not think about how someone so retarded is the head of marketing at a huge company and that a true rant has no structure.

PS she also complained to me often that the changes had not been made less than 24 hours after requesting them, showed a half built site to her board of directors and then moaned at me that it didn't look right.

Rolled out a new application I built almost entirely by myself 2 days ago... But my dev group is understaffed and has a project manager who is literally the most clueless person I have ever met, so as a result, we don't have a functional/useful dev/test/prod framework and no standards for how to deploy apps. So my past 2 days were comprised of fixing bugs in the live system that could probably have been caught if I had the time and resources to get everything thoroughly tested. It's stable now, but damn our management for being generally idiots. Our motto appears to be "Fuck it, we'll do it live"

I can't be the only one with a parent so inept with technology...

My father was an architect. He doesn't do well with any tech device, computer or mobile - all my attempts to teach / explain to him how to do one thing or another (concept of an account in app store, for starters, or how to find the app store icon on his iPhone) are viciously blocked out, and his defense -
"Listen, you know I don't understand, these things, I'm not a pro. If you'd asked me about how to mix I'd answer because there I'm a pro"

We live in different countries, btw, so have to teach him by phone.

After each unsuccessful attempt from my side he proceeds to ridicule me saying "Well and I thought you were a pro at these things"

Sigh.

Working on a team to take functionality from the latest version of an old executable and put it into a new web-based app.

Coworker: I can't get the results to match so I'll just change the options I'm using in the original program until they match.

Me: That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works. Same options on both source and new app, and you should get identical results. Otherwise, there is a defect.

I walk over to look at what CW set up.

M: "Why do you have this box ticked? That option doesn't even exist in the new version."

CW: I don't know. It was there?

M: (trying not to lose my cool, sets up options the way they are supposed to be) This is actually a pretty simple program. It just queries the DB, so we have to make sure the queries and results are the same.

CW: (runs it) Still doesn't match.

M: What version of the source app are you using? Make sure it's the latest.

CW: I can't tell. There is no help/about menu.

At this point, I kinda want to quit and live in a cave.

M: You don't need that. Check the executable in Windows Explorer.

CW: What do you mean?

At this point, I'm sure I look like Anger from Inside Out. I show them how to do it (right click file, properties, etc), wondering how they got this far in their career without knowing how to do the simplest things.

M: (surprised and irritated) This... isn't the current version. It's two versions old.

CW: Well, I couldn't get the newest version to return the results that matched the test cases, so I used the version that did...

M: You can't do th... Why wou... How is that acc... (turns around and walks out to tell the manager he hired a moron)

Ever teamed up with coders/developers you personally don't like.
Also suggest some techniques how to LIVE through, gracefully. :/

being a sheep over the last years I just recently started to overthink my software choices in terms of privacy. but hell it's far from easy!
just now I realize how dependent I am from all of these services. I mean no problem ditching Facebook for example, it's not essential to me. but what about WhatsApp and GoogleDrive? I'm using these services on a daily basis...
any advices on what software or providers to use alternatively? especially browser, messaging app, email provider and cloud service?
please keep in mind that although I am willing to bring sacrifices I by no means want to neither could live like Richard Stallman. so an argument like "sell your MacBook because macOS is spyware" is not that helpful to me - more like what can I do to increase my privacy within the boundaries given to me. I have to find some sort of compromise. so curious about your advices, stories and opinions right now!

One of those mysterious bugs that only happens on production. Want to solve it on your laptop, it's not reproducible. Staging server? Nope. Production?

HOW DARE YOU TOUCH THE LIVE SYSTEM?!?

What kind of facts should every person know? I mean in todays modern world some ppl live so deep with heads up their asses that they dont even know how many continents in the world there are.

And sadly it makes sense, who needs all that data in their head when the info is one google search away?

I myself cant retain facts of real world at all. Recently went to some quiz competition and felt stupid af.

On the other hand all these ppl who know a lot about world usually have shit retail jobs. So is knowing more facts than white collar professional some weird mental flex?

My best Fking friend thinks that iPhones and Windows phones are the best phones for hacking.. (cctv, websites and all those shit)...HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITH THEM ?!?!

Not dev, but a perf-eng confidence boost.

Our company was hired by a client to onboard perf-testing process and do some perf-related go-live stuff. Basically, make sure the app meets the SLAs.

Our company mobilized some internal resources for the task. The had 3-4 months. 2 months later they realized they won't pull it off. What a shame...

When the threat of dropping the ball and losing the client and recommendations became very real, they engaged us. Half the time, half the resources, a worried and annoyed client who now wants to control the whole initiative.

During the first 2 meetings we get the general idea of what they have, what they want. We take some time to prepare a plan to make it on time. The client argues our plan, mostly because one of the main points was mocking downstream dependencies [integrations]. He asks, then demands to do it all with live integrations. We explain why this is an incredible risk and why we should do it the proposed way. He disagrees.

Alright then... Maybe he knows smth we don't. Let's do it the risky way...

A month later test results are far from the target. I did my best with app de-bottlenecking and fine-tuning. But since the live integrations do not deliver, they hide other bottlenecks. The initiative is stuck.

Finally, the client agrees to do it with mocking. But now there's no time left as it will take almost a month to prepare mocks...

The client agrees we should have done it our way from the start. They postpone the go-live and we carry out our testing and tuning the right way.

That was one expensive and long "I told you so". But it boosted our [perf team's] confidence to the top and beyond :)

don't tell us how to do our job, unless you do want extra expenses

mongpoop

this is how our upgrade from mongoose v5 to v6 went

v5: strictQuery is false by default

v6: strictQuery is true be default

^ realized this once our update went live, we are now manually migrating several hundreds of production data.

v7: strictQuery is false by default.

what!!!

Big Big kudos to all my friends who develop and mantain Safari! :D Your work is surely appreciated. How could i live without that ...pitiful, terrible, broken, Disgraceful, full of incompatibilities, slow, version swarmed piece of utter and definitive Garbage? :D

I really really hope that one day every company on earth will stop supporting or requiring your torture device and we'll have an internet free of your nonsense :D

When the client says how they would love to go live with a brand new site end of business today fml

no one taught me how to host anything web, i had to figure out how to get things live by myself. it was awful, documentation on that stuff sucks, but i got through it knowing far more than when i started.

Since I've started writing in clojurescript a 1.5 yrs ago, I can barely look at JavaScript.
I started to realise how ugly it is.
Seriously waiting to the day browsers will work with clojurescript out of the box, without the need to compile.

The language is so clean, clear, easy and data oriented, I find it hard to go back to js.
Also, the docs are much better.

Long live concurrency !

Sometimes you want to scream but you can't,
sometimes you want speak about how fucked up this society that we live in is... how the fundamental concepts of our lifes are wrong... How some things just don't work in the present... but there is no one who would listen to you... and even if they did, there is nothing they can do to change anything until the whole world listens.

Random. Related to WFH.

How do you deal with all this waste sorting/recycling business?

I live in what's considered a small apartment for 4 people and a cat and in our tiny kitchen we have separate trash bags for:
- plastic/paper/metal
- glass
- deposit bottles
- commons/unsorted

- and it's very likely that starting '24 we'll also have an orange 'food waste' bag

I swear to God, sometimes I feel like the Wall-e, the trash prince, living in a recycling centre/dumpster. This kind of taints the pleasure of WFH.

How do you deal with that? Question to those who sort waste and, preferably, live in a small aptmt.

I've just started my new career with a job in IT operations and I love it. After my electrical engineering degree I fell into a job as a website manager for a small company, I self taught html and css and I knew from then that I had found a job that didn't feel like a job. I'm​ excited to learn everything I need to know to progress as far as I can go in this industry. In my first few weeks at this new job (where i have my own office!) I've self taught python to create automation scripts for live projects, currently up to my eyeballs trying to figure out how to change the VB code for an excel module.....Then there have been so many other projects and bugs and I love it! Any tips and advice is greatly appreciated!

This is the worst possible thing that can happen, when you setup a new computer.

I live for about a decade on ubuntu. I got an invite for a LAN where games are being played that I cannot run with wine or are not ported to linux.
Fine I get an old harddrive and setup a fresh Windows 7. I have a little update script that takes care of updating and restarting.
BUT I CAN NOT DO ANY UPDATES.
As you can see in the picture the original Windows 7 installation disc that was part of my computer did not carry the matching NIC drivers.

A friend of mine gave me a spare WiFi dongle. That did not bring its drivers on the USB dongle but on disc that he lost.

WHY?! HOW?! This is not plug and play. This is a part that SHOULD be plug and play.

After I got an other WiFi dongle that was plug and play, I could finally download the right drivers.

Why can the Windows 7 disc that was part of the computer setup not contain the right drivers, but a ubuntu 12.04 live disc can?!
ARGH

Booted my laptop in windows 10. Forced to install the new updates. Ubuntu partition got deleted.
Fuck my life, how can get Microsoft away with that? That's so stupid. Now neither Ubuntu nor windows 10 is booting and I have to perform a boot repair and recovery with a live CD...

I think the linux live CDs with games on it, that my dad had compiled for me, were one of my first exposures to computers.

I remember how if you passed some specific argument, it would talk to you in a pretty sci-fi female voice too.

My son used an ASUS Live L1 for about 3 years, and then we bought a new smartphone 1 year ago. Cool, except that the e-mail address he registered with Live L1, no longer exists, has been permanently deleted. His newest phone was stolen, and we took the L1 to set it up again. Only... Google wants him to log in to the original email (FRP Lock) that no longer exists.

How absurd, the L1 cell phone was never marked as stolen, and now we are unable to use our property. Is there a way for my son to convince google that the phone is his?

Microsoft, Google, Apple... They give the impression that people give money and use devices as if they were a "favor".

Last night I looked at an Android app.
Going to put it bluntly, I don't like java much.

But Android takes it to a whole new level.
I was talking to our (SlimRoms) framework dev about how the database transactions used to take 400ms, and it was cut down to 10ms by, changing to xml with some kind of a reflector (so xml would be saved in the background).
This is atrocious. As a web developer, I live in a world where you can do thousands of transactions in that time (albeit on faster hardware).

So how is it that all of the abstractions in Android add up to a single read/insertion in Android (and I'm talking about an app written by Google) takes 400ms?

Every time I go in that channel to talk to them, I find something screwed up. Gah.

Just suggested to the question on how to merge pdfs to a single large one to use MS Word for that.

It was a Linux only group.

I live dangerous in other ways as well.

*sends email to ops manager to explain nuget & git (yes, he is THAT guy)

*his reply "what's nuget?"

Ooooooooh! Why don't you open Google and do a fucking search you amazingly stupid twat!!! In what fucking era do you live in? What the fuck are you doing at work everyday, besides complaining about how time consuming your useless mundane tasks are? Take some of your undeserved salary and go educate yourself, you useless sack of shit! FUCK!

*meanwhile... Little grin on my face. *Shift+delete email.

I have a random question:

What values do you guys live with?

And how can I make sure I live my life with highest possible values?

The squad here is most raw and honest. I have seen you folks stick to what you believe in and stand up against the evil even if costs you or makes you sacrifice somethings.

Really want to be a better human and seems like my next phase of life would be dedicated to this.

How d'yall live without a boss who is an incredibly experienced developer?!

To those who have a corporate dickhead as a boss, you all have my sympathy

Web developers working since years in Java, spring and hibernate have no idea how to make a website live and don't even know basic MVC structure..
Being a PHP developer m so shocked !!
Is it true for most of the java developers??

You know, I read so often about people out there who don't have WiFi or don't have cell service for miles, and until today, I had little considderatoom for how truly tough that can be. I grew up during the cell revolution, but I didn't use smartphones til I was 16. But now that I went to visit relatives in the country, we went over a hundred miles without cell service. Where was I? New York. Now this may sound whiney or petty, but for people who live out here (and especially people in third-world countries), they are missing out on the many benefits of internet access. Connectivity is good. I support it now more than ever.

I had a client who wanted me to install a php project from github on a live server. I agreed to do it for $10. I set it up and it showed the setup page. so I left it there and thought this is probably how far the client wants me to go.
But then he asked me to go through the setup and completely install it. I was like ehh..ok I will do it.
But then came the shit storm of bugs in that project's installation module. Had to run through a gazzillion issues on github. Eventually I gave up.
Then I tried installing it on my localhost and surprisingly it installed fine. So I just made a zip and uploaded it to the server.
2 other devs had failed to get the job done before me. I t felt really good to get the job done.
The client tipped me an extra $5 too.

=)

Just came across this sentence in an oped... some strange times we live in. I still remember when I was getting into tech how everyone was afraid of Microsoft... but to be honest google & apple are doing more EEE than Microsoft so...

Hey DevRant, I'd like you to meet "Marketing Brandon", his favorite daily activities include:

- asking me when that landing page is going to be ready

- asking how to support a customer on live chat even though he chose to assign the ticket to himself in the first place

- explaining how important social media is

- telling me he's working as fast as he can on some website copy I need and then sitting and composing tweets for 40 minutes

- asking if I can "just real quickly when I get the chance" implement a huge new feature for our users

- announcing to the entire office that he "has to leave early today" because the pet store closes at 5 and his ferret ran out of food yesterday

-.-

Does your office have a Marketing Brandon or similar?

Dear BOSE, how can you make a "smart" speaker so dumb and complicated? Why require to use an app that needs frequent updates and takes up so much storage space for ... what exactly?
Dear Spotify, why not add features to the web player if your app does not run on older devices? Which native feature would your app need that is missing on iOS 13?
Dear companies making money due to the fact that some real artists make real music that real people love to listen to, how come your apps and gadgets always make me nostalgic about actual records and make me tune in to an actual radio station at the end of the day? At least you keep showing us not to rely on digital technology and rather go visit actual live concerts to listen to live music in the real world more often!

FUCK CUSTOMER SUPPORT

I live next to a province road so for things like internet more parties are involved then on a usual neighborhood street. 5 years ago I was asking about fibre internet since every household in a 8km area from my house has a fiber connect (except those next to a province road). They told me to contact them if a road construction would happen so they could do it simultaneously.
Today I thought lets contact them again since a complete road overhaul is gonna take place in the coming 6 months. They said that I've to contact them before those plans are made public otherwise they cannot jump in and do their work as well.

How would I inform a company of plans that are not public so I don't know about?

Don't you guys think we need live programming?

Like a development runtime, instead of doing this whole file based development thing? We edit files, and then run them, why aren't we just running a program constantly and editing it as it runs? It would let us inherently take advantage of concepts like objects and lists instead of having to build plugins that analyse and modify our files to sort of act like complex programming data structures.

If we just programmed using these complex data structures to begin with.

Like do you realise how antiquated the idea of a file is, and folder, that's literally a paper based analogy.

Imagine if we just had objects, with pointers and property names, the best we have is ln -s file1 file2 but that's not a real pointer.

Anyway, hope someone understands me!

I'm writing a medium article called a world beyond files but I'm stuck at how low level to go and who the audience of the article should be.

I went really in depth into what this idea of an "object" is, and how it can be expressed in a file but once a program picks it up it becomes much more and almost alive.

I don't understand how you can have a webshop and live from it, and yet still don't know where to type in a web url.. How the f..

!Rant

Just for blatant curiosity; how many people would ++ this just to help me get a stressball to get through this day.

Rant
So today I woke up to a message that my jobs webserver was down; and that all personal webpages for the Uni went down with it. We had no idea why or how it went down but eventually someone got it up- just in time for our Proxmox server to go down; which runs our new web server (thankfully it's not live yet), our print server, our PXE server, and more... Loving today. Such stress. Very shit.
We have a memo on the window "Watch your FPMs" (fucks per minute)

Sometimes I like to see how the other side live and just watch people in a computer store.

There are the nervous tip-toers who don't want to attract attention. The point and lookers, who read the sign and nod and show they understood.

There are the ones who just wander aimlessly trying to look like they know what they want.

Finally there are the 'expert helpers' who know enough 'techie' words to convince anyone around that they know what they're talking about.

It's like a people zoo.

I need a new hobby. Programming doesn't excite me anymore, at least not how it did a couple of years back. I'd like to get into robotics and stuff, but everything's expensive where I live. I'd like to get into cars, also too expensive where I live. I like playing video games, but I suck at them and they bring me no feeling of having accomplished something. Sports? Suck at them too. I'd like to ski, but I live in South America. I just don't know what to do with my free time. Programming feels like a chore nowadays, but it's all I have.

Client's Devs Yesterday: "We are ready for a production test, and should be ready to go live in 1 week."

Today after successful test: "We need 6 weeks of production before going live"

How can you be so far off on your timelines? A solo dev has done this same flow in like three weeks. It has already been three months...

Algorithms to Live By: How to Put on a Quilt Cover

1. Sync the orientation of both quit and cover
2. Locate the corners on the cover and add clothes pins
3. Insert the corners 1 by one and attach the pin
4. Stuff everything else inside
5. Walk around and hold each pair of perpendicular corners and give it a toss (Full body morning exercises now complete)
6. When satisfied, removed the pins.
7. Place quilt onto bed

Now watch as the quilt gets twenties inside over the following few weeks and either just give up until the next wash or repeat.

Mentoring someone in iOS from scratch, then teaching him how to maintain 3 different apps. He is able to maintain them without me now which is testament to how well I taught him, but it was challenging. Especially since I had to simultaneously work on other tickets and live prod issues.

Anything i try in this life, it fails. I have done hundreds, and have 0 successful projects. When someone asks me "what have you done in these 1/4th of a century existing on this useless floating space rock?" ...... I have nothing to say. It would appear as if I've done Nothing. I have nothing to showcase of projects because its not running live on production. It's all on private repositories. The more i try the harder i fail. I am energy drained. I am uninspired. I am unmotivated. Seeing how some 19 year old NOBODY kid just comes out of nowhere, makes NFT project, scams people for millions of dollars and haves fun in his life and doesnt have to work anymore, is fueling me with RAGE. This is starting to become madness. Am i having too high goals and ambitions and that's why i percieve myself as if im unsuccessful? But how is that possible if a 19 year old nobody is capable of becoming a multi millionaire by scamming people in web3? If i lower my goal expectations, then I have no reason to live. I wouldnt care if i die tomorrow or continue living. I wouldnt bother looking left right while crossing the road because I Do Not Care. What must i do to succeed just Once and meet my goals and expectations? I dont understand. I hate life. Life is empty and meaningless. I have became a Nihilist and i believe in that religion more than anything. It makes no sense that someone scams millions by doing jack shit at a young age while someone struggles and tries hard his whole life and still isnt successful even 0.01% of what the 19 year old is. IT. IS. NOT. FAIR.

!dev

I feel like I never lived/live my age. I feel like I have wasted childhood (who the fuck wastes their childhood?!), teenage years, university years, most of my 20's. And now, I'm in this state where I'm stuck thinking about what I should be doing to not repeat the same mistakes and how to make up for them (which is in itself repeating the same mistake again, lol). I should go to bed.

Want to mark some people as obsolete.
How to this? Holding a sheet with [Obsolete] above their heads doesn't work. (@Obsolete() neither).

Live is so cruel.

So Alex, how excited are you for Google's hardware showcase today?

Well myself, I am waking up at 3 AM (Because got to love living in Australia wanting to watch over seas live streams!) to watch it, then I am going to work at 7 in the morning, I think that should answer your question!

Book a ticket people because the hype train is about to leave the station!

I work full time in the data protection field for healthcare whilst investing all my free time into coding as a career change.

I've discovered that despite people telling you how much you need to spend every hour you get free to learn to code, you also need to consider the people closest to you. I was ignoring my partner who I live with because I thought this was more important and that she should be able to see that. But what's the point in being in a relationship if you aren't making an effort with each other?

It's OK to slow down and invest time into the people you have in your life. Give yourself a break.

my roommate is gone half the week because he's on vacation and I'm realizing I have no idea how to live alone and how weird that will be

I mean he's been gone before but... he's moving out later, and I've never lived alone before. there's some kind of weird psychological loss of safety from it, even though he's been kind of an unsupportive drag on me literally the whole time I've known him so it's literally fully irrational. I am in much confusion of feelings

Eavesdropping by phone's microphone and speech recognition to serve targetted ads by Google? Anyone here had a feeling this happened to them or knows is this already a thing?

Happened to me on my Android phone multiple times over last year on different subjects, that I was talking live with a person, for example how someone had eyelid surgery (my phone was locked in my pocket the whole time and I didn't google search what that is, or made any text input into device whatsoever) and couple minutes later an ad came on my phone for exactly something we were discussing before. Weird coincedence or something more? 🤔

Happy New year
May you have a year that is filled with love and bugs, laughter and debugging , brightness and dark theme , hope and distro hopping and little less windows vs linux shit 😂 please arch guys you too 🙄😝
Wish you all a great year 😅😛

I rarely post anything but I'm pretty active reading every shit post here. we fucking have a great community here. Few people are going through some real shit , hey you, things will get better don't lose hope but don't just wait on it , things don't ever get better by just wishing. Do what has to be done no matter how hard that decision can be.
Cut all those toxic people from your life doesn't matter who they're. You all deserve better
Believe in yourself. Everyone is going through some real shit. Keep fighting. Live for yourself.
You got only one life live upto your fill potential.
Regret is the worst thing so do whatever the fuck you want to do.
Never give up doesn't matter what you're going through.
And in the end may you "live" all the days of your life.

Conversation with American developers, suddenly we began to talk about college and how in debt they are. I tell them that don't have an education related debt.

They were skeptical at first, but then we found that my entire education costed less than one semester for them. That's one positive thing about living here.

How about you guys? Happy with the cost of higher education where you live?

!(pure)dev
This might sound like generalisation but the amount of paper people in France (atleast Paris) waste uneccesarily is shocking. It disturbs me to see some jackass printing pages after pages of garbage in the office each time they want to check if a printer is working as expected. Or the professors using huge white sheets to explain shit when the white board is right fucking behind them (to add to it, they use only one side of the sheet). Or literally every single store handing out paper receipts for a 1€ chocolate I buy. Why isn't their a digital alternative? Why are people so not bothered about how much they're fucking the planet just coz they have enough resources to live happily?

If machines ever overthrow humanity, I'm sure they'll do a better job in tidying up everything.

Did I suffer through 2023? Hell yes! Fuck 2023! A LOT of doubt, anxiety, thinking that I live wrong somehow.

Yet, I’m completely satisfied with the results of 2023, with what I was able to accomplish. It means I do, in fact, live my life right. If I carry on doing what I do, I’ll be getting what I get. Here’s what happened to me in 2023:
- Cat!
- No more sugar
- No more smoking
- First time reading paper books in 15 years
- Made me a new website (miloi.am/engine) that, for the first time in my life, isn’t about me as a job candidate, but about me as a person.
- SENT MY DEVRANT LINK to my CEO! Dreaded this coming out for YEARS. Finally did it. He read my posts, told me I’m free to be who I am, told me he already knows me well, that he wasn’t surprised, and overall didn’t care much.
- New name, new pronouns
- Learned how to cook: soups, pancakes, falafel, other popular dishes. Most importantly, now when I go through the store, I’m not afraid of thinking about cooking. I look at something, and I know how to cook it, more or less.
- Found a good psychiatrist, got properly diagnosed, got properly prescribed
- Made a FIRE architecture at my work
- Conceived (and partly implemented) four monetizable side projects (that I can’t monetize yet because of my passport situation)
- Several VERY important insights that completely changed who I am. Several super crucial self-therapy skills.

Let’s see what happens in 2024 😛

The bug I never fixed isn't a bug in code I wrote, but rather an OS problem I've given up on fixing.

I dual-boot Windows and Linux on my desktop PC. Every time Windows updates, it switches from grub to the Windows bootloader, making it impossible to boot into Linux. I've fixed it three times (each time requiring a different fix, from disabling fast startup to reinstalling Grub from a live USB), then gave up. My desktop PC is now a Windows machine. I'm upgrading some parts soon (including replacing my boot drive with an NVMe SSD) so I decided when I do that, I'm just going to reinstall Linux on the new drive and see how long I can last without installing Windows at all.

I'm really trying my best to improve but the work I'm doing (both the code and the business theme) is so god damn boring that I feel like I'm torturing myself just trying to keep up. How am I supposed to learn and build myself when everything is so dull and gray? I can't even talk semi-passionately about the work I do, its all just picking up user stories with lengthy business specs on them updating old code or writing up some new code to fit some business / API standard I know nothing about. Occasionally I'll review other code from a developer doing the same thing and sift through trying to find some way to improve a project I don't care about. Hold down the nausea that comes from fighting off the mental fatigue as I struggle to find the words to explain how a component I made works in terms I don't understand too people that know and care much more than I do...

I'm exhausted, I'm burnt out. This isn't me, and every day I wake up and tell myself that my salary makes me happy because it gives me the ability to do the things I enjoy and live on my own and provide for loved ones, and then struggle to swallow the lump in my throat as I drive in the cold to a giant corporate office with a thousand other Me's doing the same shit but better and improving.

I honestly love what my company offers me as compensation, I'll likely not find any better. But once I have some experience under my belt and some debt paid off I have GOT to find a jobs somewhere that doesn't drain the will to live out of me

Me: so we've added bunch of features to our app so that everything updates live automatically and you can edit it online and sort and filter and do bunch of other stuff.

Boss: great, how do I export it to xls?

Definitely landing the first real gig.

I've been writing software since I was 12 (full disclosure: early code consisted of C=64 BASIC). I learned C in high school. Contributed to a MUD in my 20's. But I never got a CS degree and didn't really understand how hiring works, so I limped along doing technical support for years. Years turned into decades.

About 2 years ago, I became an embedded support person inside a development team. I got to show off my skills, and the year effectively became a live interview. Last October I finally got the title.

On the positive side, by taking the long way around I missed out on some of the insanity of the software world in the 90s/00s.

How dangerous am I?
I code it live.

I code while people are working on our website and make all the changes live. And if I notice an abrupt stop in responses to our logs I git stash my changes.

Lost my temper at one of our volunteer moderators the other day. We had to do a test using live data, our sysadmin warned him, but not far enough in advance and not really by the right channels. So that was on us. sorry not sorry. But so then he didn't believe us. He must be a geek too cuz he responded with some stupid math problem for me to solve, as if that would prove we work here and aren't hackers or scammers. I replied "how about if i just kick you out of your own group and delete your account, would that convince you?" And so I did. Asshole. Of course I had to apologize later and get a lecture from the boss, but it was kinda worth it.

Finding a bug that wont trigger an error but will deliver incorrect results, but only in certain circumstances and has only come apparent after the site has bern live for 6 months.

You turn in to a detective trying to determine what triggered the wrong result, what the client changed/added/edited in the cms and work from there.

After much investigation it dawns on you, you then find the bit responsible in your shit code and fix it.

Then feel extremely elated at how cool you are, but no-one gives a shit.

Back to work.

That’s why I play bass guitar, do some cool licks on stage and its instant gratification, glad I have that... and devRant community.

maybe I should learn how to code properly as well.

Question:

in teams with backenders and frontenders, how do you guys coordinate introducing breaking changes to the API while the system is live ?

It's been a little bit over two weeks since I quit my first job, thought I would share some stories 😁

I started my very first job in the middle of August (last year) and my duties were to fix some issues on front-end files. You can see my previous rants to see how long were these files 😐
So after 2/3 months I managed to get my shit done, started learning Vue on my own to implement it to new projects (and done it successfully) and learn something about shitty clients who don't know how to live and don't know what do they want.

When I quit the job on the last day of April, I was so happy to end it mostly due to this one specific client who were able to turn happy innocent coding of a great project into hellish shit. Plus there were some issues I noticed with some people I worked with (like they were sending these sexist memes which weren't funny at all 🙄)

TL;DR if you feel that your job post is not for you or that is doesn't make you feel happy or comfortable, don't be afraid to walk away. I did and I don't regret it 😉

This huge OS project, Magento, have TONS of guidelines, most about decoupling,, it has an extended MVC structure with even more layers than those 3.. All good in theory, guess what.. Guidelines is not followed..
Changing order of two blocks in the view breaks business logic.. So much for decoupling.. You would not believe how many hours I've spent debugging this..

And I can't believe I've dedicated 12 years of my professional live to this platform..