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"Is it just me or is Youtube down?"
YES
IT'S JUST YOU
THEY PICKED YOU OUT OF A BILLION USERS
AND TOOK IT DOWN
Sorry, good night.17 -
Person: HTML is a programming language
Me: No it's not
Person: Yes it is it can compute things
Me: No it can't, and what do you mean?
Person: Have you ever heard of a script tag
Me: That's not fucking HTML that's JavaScript.14 -
Client A: "so we using cloud-based server? is it safe? will raining cause data leak? you know rain water is from cloud? how you guys manage to control it???"
Me: "??????"
20 -
I've tried to joke about it, but you won't pick up the hint. I've told you about the smell, but you think it is a joke. It's not. It. Is. Not. A. Joke.
STOP MICROWAVING FISH IN THE OFFICE YOU FUCKING SOCIOPATH!11 -
Mail from client: There is a bug in project.
Me: mmmmkay where is it?
Client: How shitty developer you are! You should find it.
Me:f*ck you i'm out1 -
Ui stands for "you and I" !
That means that however stupid ui is if u and I get it then it is good!
What would you say about this one?
14 -
Non-dev coworker (ndc) sees me using google chrome: I don't understand why chrome is so popular. I hate it and don't know why anyone would use it.
Me: what browser do you use?
NDC: internet explorer.
Me: why do you like ie better than chrome?
NDC: it does everything chrome can do and it's free.
Me: ie can NOT do everything chrome can do and chrome is free. You just have to download it from google.
NDC: no I read that chrome is proprietary software and why would I pay to use it when ie is free.
Me: ie is also proprietary software. Proprietary doesn't necessarily mean it costs money it's just not open source. Plus ie is not free. You paid for it when you bought the windows license that came with your computer.
NDC: no ie was already on the computer when I bought it so I didn't have to pay for it.
Me: it was included in the price of the computer but you still paid for it.
NDC: whatever I'm going to keep using ie because it's free for me.
ARE YOU RETARDED???27 -
User: "Hey, can you help me? My program doesn't work."
Consultant: "What is the problem? Are you using Turbo Pascal?"
User: "Yes, the program just blocks the machine."
Consultant: "Well, does it compile?"
User: "I don't know -- it just doesn't run. You see? There's the EXE file. If you run it, it blocks the machine."
Consultant: "And where is your source, the PAS file??"
User: "I wrote it and renamed it to EXE so it could run."5 -
You realize how beautiful it is to work in the back-end when...
"Can you move it down 1px?"
"Can you try this color?"
"Can you make it pop more?"
"Can you make the animation 0.01ms faster?"
Millions more...10 -
Hey, Root? How do you test your slow query ticket, again? I didn't bother reading the giant green "Testing notes:" box on the ticket. Yeah, could you explain it while I don't bother to listen and talk over you? Thanks.
And later:
Hey Root. I'm the DBA. Could you explain exactly what you're doing in this ticket, because i can't understand it. What are these new columns? Where is the new query? What are you doing? And why? Oh, the ticket? Yeah, I didn't bother to read it. There was too much text filled with things like implementation details, query optimization findings, overall benchmarking results, the purpose of the new columns, and i just couldn't care enough to read any of that. Yeah, I also don't know how to find the query it's running now. Yep, have complete access to the console and DB and query log. Still can't figure it out.
And later:
Hey Root. We pulled your urgent fix ticket from the release. You know, the one that SysOps and Data and even execs have been demanding? The one you finished three months ago? Yep, the problem is still taking down production every week or so, but we just can't verify that your fix is good enough. Even though the changes are pretty minimal, you've said it's 8x faster, and provided benchmark findings, we just ... don't know how to get the query it's running out of the code. or how check the query logs to find it. So. we just don't know if it's good enough.
Also, we goofed up when deploying and the testing database is gone, so now we can't test it since there are no records. Nevermind that you provided snippets to remedy exactly scenario in the ticket description you wrote three months ago.
And later:
Hey Root: Why did you take so long on this ticket? It has sat for so long now that someone else filed a ticket for it, with investigation findings. You know it's bringing down production, and it's kind of urgent. Maybe you should have prioritized it more, or written up better notes. You really need to communicate better. This is why we can't trust you to get things out.
*twitchy smile*21 -
@dfox so is devrant turned out to be what you thought/hoped it'd be when you first started it, or is it different than the initial idea?43
-
Client: "I need you to implement a feature which does x"
Me: "We can it do like this, I can do it in Y hours."
Client: "Perfect do it"
Me: "Here you go have a look and if you give your ok I'll implement it on production."
Client:"That is not what I need. I need Z"
Me: "Well then you should have said Z and not x. But I can do Z if you want me to."
Client:"Do it it is urgent!!!!111"
Me: "All done here you go."
Client: "That works like what I said what I need, but I meant more like xZ."
Me: "Ok, you know I have to charge you for all this, do you?"
Client: "What why? It isn't the feature I wanted!!11 Do it right and I'll pay you for the right one!"
Me: "It might not be what you wanted but it is exactly what you specified to me. I'll send you the bill and will not continue working for you. Good luck finding someone who is willing to do unpaid work for you."
I am so done with that kind of client.8 -
Customer is always right.....
Committed to sustainable productivity..
Misunderstanding between the IT Department Staff member and the Finance Department Staff member in one of the establishments...
User: Hi, our printer is not working.
IT Service: What is wrong with it?
User: The mouse is jammed.
IT Service: Mouse? Are you sure it’s a printer, as they don’t come with a mouse?
User: Do you think I’m stupid? I’m telling you it’s the printer!
IT Service: I'm telling you, it can’t be the printer! They don’t have a mouse!
User: Oh really?... Mmmmm... I’ll send you a picture.
Scroll down...
. . . . .. .
. . . . . .
. . . . .
. . . .
. . .
. .
.
.
.
The customer is always right.
Listen to him/her and believe what he/she says.
Don’t jump into conclusions!
12 -
Interviewer: How will you solve the travelling salesman problem?
Me: *explains the solution on whiteboard*
Interviewer: It is slow. Can you do it in linear time at least?
Me: It is NP hard so it is not possible. For a restricted case, it may be possible
Interviewer: You are stupid. Do not apply again.7 -
"It is not UNIX’s job to stop you from shooting your foot. If you so choose to do so, then it is UNIX’s job to deliver Mr. Bullet to Mr Foot in the most efficient way it knows." - Terry Lambert1
-
The worst feeling is writing so many lines of code knowing you could do it in a more concise way if you just had time to think about it but you don't.1
-
So, my wife is in the hospital with two of the kids for an annual checkup. Should be nothing to worry about but still it's stressful and I want to be there.
I'd booked the day off (until the end of the week) and last week I got told, you've taken too many holidays, just the Friday is approved.
Ok, fine, I'll do some extra hours work from home and be there for the appointment. But fuck no, they schedule an "important" client meeting this morning and I'm required to attend.
TWO FUCKING HOURS and I contributed a sum total of 2 sentences which could have been filled in just as well by the other developer on the call
Just another reason I'm happy to be interviewing at other companies.6 -
When you think php is pure garbage but this third party tool that you really need is fully written on it and you have to use it.
10 -
Mum: Is this the big data?
Father: Do you know anything about Bitcoin? Can you explain me what it is?1 -
"Work is intended to earn you money, you don't have to like it to make a living from it" - my first boss7
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"...the way he has written the code, it feels nasty man. I would have done it this way..."
Fuck you and your feelings. If you think my code is bad, give justification for it. Explain the fucking reason. Stop saying it "feels" like a bad code.
Fucking tired of this mentality in most of the developers. Why is it that the moment you look at someone else's code, you feel like you would have written it better. Programming is problem solving. And you can solve a problem in couple of different way.
If the code is absolute shit, has followed no best practices then yeah, go ahead and call it a bad code. But just because you would have moved some lines here and there, that doesn't mean the other persons code is horrible.
Goddamit!13 -
You know you're passionate when you won't sleep until it works. Then after it worked, you're not satisfied. You still want to make it robust and then...
"Is that the sun?"
Being a programmer is such a roller coaster feeling. Sometimes, you extremely hate what you're doing. But you still persevere and that's just wonderful.
!!!rant -
This is how most comments in code are. Why are you telling me it's a coffee cup, I can fucking see it's a coffee cup, who owns it and why is it right here? Are you putting coffee in it or something else?
6 -
The most important part of compiling is whispering "Come on, you can do it, you can do it" to the server.1
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The 1st rule of Javascript is: You don't admit you program Javascript.
The 1st rule of Rust is: You tell everyone you program Rust and how it is better than basically any programming language that existed or will exist.
The 1st rule of C++ is: There are no rules because everyone was too busy debugging templates to think of any rules.
The 1st rule of Java is: You must have excessive numbers of classes and boilerplate. The more boilerplate the better.
The 1st rule of Haskell is: It is great to learn, but you will never see it again once you leave college.38 -
We mistakenly think that you need motivation to start something. The reality is that often you just need to start and then the motivation will come. And when it goes away again, you just keep on going. Because while it sure is helpful, you are still capable of doing something without.3
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Github Inc. (Feel good inc. parody)
=========================
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
(change) Fetch it (change), Fetch it (change), Fetch it (change), Github
(change) fetch it (change), fetch it (change), fetch it (change), Github
Repos breaking down on pull request
Juniors have to go cause they don't know wack
So while you filling the commits and showing branch trees
You won't get paid cause it's all damn free
You set a new linter and a new phenomenal style
Hoping the new code will make you smile
But all you wanna have is a nice long sleep.
But your screams they'll keep you awake cause you don't get no sleep no.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
What the f*ck is wrong with that
Take it all and recompile
It is taking too lonnng
This code is better. This code is free
Let's clone this repo you and me.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
Is everybody in?
Laughing at the class past, fast CRUD
Testing them up for test cracks.
Star the repos at the start
It's my portfolio falling apart.
Shit, I'm forking in the code of this here.
Compile, breaking up this shit this y*er.
Watch me as I navigate.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Yo, this repo is Ghost Town
It's pulled down
With no clowns
You're in the sh*t
Gon' bite the dust
Can't nag with us
With no push
You kill the git
So don't stop, git it, git it, git it
Until you're the maintainers
And watch me criticize you now
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
What the f*ck is wrong with that
Take it all and recompile
It is taking too lonnng
This code is better. This code is free
Let's clone this repo you and me.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
Is everybody in?
Don't stop, shit it, git it.
See how your team updates it
Steady, watch me navigate
Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Don't stop, shit it, git it.
Peep at updates and reconvert it
Steady, watch me git reset now
Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.2 -
>Hello IT, how can I help you?
>Random problem...
>Have you tried turning it off and on again?
>Random excuse...
>Could you check if it is plugged in?
>Thank you!2 -
ever got a task to modify legacy code and when you looked at it you were like... burning it with fire is the only way!
1 -
That moment when the you actually think that this huge refactoring isn't worth it, but you do it anyway so you can live with yourself...
Code quality is love. Code quality is life.1 -
You keyboard is probably the thing that you will touch the most in your whole life, you should choose it carefully.
14 -
Coding is like pizza
You love it and can't get enough, but you torture yourself indulging in it at nights, wish it didn't make you seem fat and attractive to the majority of the population, and it will never love you back -
Dear Apple, fuck you for the iPad pro, it is probably the hardest device to do web design in mind.
It is at that point where it's screen is technically declared laptop size but just too big for being declared tablet...
Fuck you...12 -
Let an expert consultant write your code, they say. It will be all right, they say.
Found this today in a legacy codebase.
3 -
Is it just me or does this shirt make no sense? If your coffee was empty, then it would return true and you would keep coding. If it was not empty you would fill it.
Plus it's not a while loop, so unless this is some sort of recursion you wouldn't keep going....
4 -
I started saying 'yes' to every opportunity in life. Long story short, I have 3 websites, 2 logos, a couple of leaflets and 2 non-profit websites due yesterday. Whiskey with cereal never tasted better at 8 AM!3
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???: Salesforce is simply the best. You can do anything you can dream of with it. It can solve all of your pro—
Dev: Sir, this is a Wendy’s.11 -
2 situations when you are equally fucked :
1. It should have failed here, why is it passing?! 😯
2. It should have passed here, why is it failing?! 😯 -
It is always very nice when you and a colleague are given a project that is nowhere close to being finished, a week to finish it on, and great motivation from the boss.
Being called into a meeting with the boss and he tells you:
"Ok, you know %s ?", project.name
"Yeah?"
"I need you and %s to finish it within a week", colleague.name
"A week?! We'll do our best but we need more than tha--"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?! IT IS AN EASY TASK THAT YOU CAN FINISH IN A DAY!! I COULD DO IT EVEN BETTER MYSELF!!"
"We'll try"
9 -
*phone rings*
Me: "Hello".
Caller: "Hi, I'm just going to patch you in to this conference call."
Fucking hell.3 -
Do you know what i hate most?
... commented old code!
What is the fucking purpose to comment old code IF YOU ARE USING A VERSION CONTROL SYSTEM?????
Commented old code is shit, because it fucks the readibility! I saw entire class full of this shit!
DELETE IT, YOU DON'T LOSE IT YOU MORON!!!!5 -
non-IT friend: I still don't understand what is"hardware"
Me: it is the part of the computer that you can kick.5 -
The best thing about having COBOL in my last internship is not that it opens you a lot of new job opportunities, is the look of fear and respect of your coworkers when you say that you learned it.1
-
So I've been applying to jobs. I, purposely, have been putting down that I am female (since they all harp on diversity, I'd like to see if they even bother reaching out to me. Also anything to get my resume past the bots).
Spoiler alert - getting similar ratios to male counterparts, 100+ applications sent, maybe 4 phone interviews. No offers yet. Still made to do code challenges.
Well, I just found out where all that diversity hiring went to. Buddy of mine who works at a mid tier company said that they have a special program that onboards women into tech.
Specifically, women who have literally zero background in computers.
Teachers, social workers, etc. They get a week or so of some coding bootcamp and then get full time positions over more skilled applicants.
This infuriates me. I literally would be in a better situation to be hired had I not have had any technical background, taken this particular bootcamp and finally net the elusive entry level position I need.
And guess what? That move has antagonized the existing male employees who see that they have zero interest and zero competency instead of having an integrated workplace.
10/10 for incredible bullshit.6 -
It's not a bug if a feature is working how you told me it should work but not how you wanted it to work.6
-
When you have a huge project, and encounter a bug, but don't know where it is, and why it is happening...
1 -
Which do you think designers are tired of hearing?
"Make the logo bigger"
"Looks great but can you make it pop"
"Can you make it pretty"
"Something is missing in the design but I'm not sure what is."
After 15 Revisions
"I think the first design you made was better."8 -
Mom: what is it you do exactly?
Me: I make web sites and test computers for bugs.
Mom: What is a bug?
Me: it is when a program does something you do not want it to do.
Mom: k, I don't understand how money is made in that. But, you know (random store) is hiring.2 -
You stupid shit jerk fucks.
Your request to disable the coming soon mode was hours ago. Of course google will show you coming soon text when you searched for it. It is not like google is under my arse or something.
And what do you mean it is not showing up on YAHOO!
Who the hell is still using YAHOO! ?
And that YAHOO! showed me that coming soon text result just like GOOGLE when I tried. So why is it not showing that to you? Oh right, maybe because you are old and stupid.
Today is already busy enough with packing our stuffs, stop giving us stupid tasks to fix.1 -
The time I learned loops and I was fascinated by the fact that I could do 100 operations in a few lines. I was hooked.7
-
When you create your CV in HTML/CSS print as PDF and attach that to the job application, because word is annoying you with its lack of layout abilities.
I just wanted this bit of text over there --->
but no, I have to go make a text box, position that thing in an "absolute" way and have it still be wrong when exporting as PDF.
Really how hard is it to let me build a nice layout 😒10 -
IT Head: Hey, can you check out why application X isn't working? I've already restarted it and it isn't working anymore.
Me: sure.
Me 20 mins later: hey, looks like it is all good, website is normal, server resources are normal, etc...
IT Head: no no, the windows sync app isn't working.
Me inside: are you fucking kidding me you piece of stupid shit? Quit IT for good and die.3 -
You know what Linux has taught me? That above anything, a computer is just a tool. There is a lot you can do with the tool, but do not depend on it so much that you fear losing it.1
-
When somebody asks you what IRC is and the only way you can explain it is 'It's like Slack, but before Slack.'1
-
when you know the code is inefficient but they wanted it fast so you say "fuck it, I'll fix this later", but you never do...3
-
Your phone/laptop is on 5%
After it dies you can never recharge it, and you can never get another (all technology is dieing)
What do you do?40 -
"adding that feature is not hard, the devs are just lazy"... or maybe... just maybe development is more complicated than you make it out to be when you vomit your middle management all over it?
-
Coding is a superpower. With it, you can bend reality to your will. You can make the world a better place. Or you can destroy it.
Source: freecodecamp2 -
Dear React Component,
Everyone else is fine.
Why is it when someone decides to enter some input in you, you freak out?
-N00bPancakes
Dear N00bPancakes,
6 -
SAP is not a business system. Its goal is not to solve any kind of business problem. SAP is a club. Just like Supreme clothes, it's expensive for the sake of being expensive. Everyone else also knows they're expensive, and this is why you buy them. If you adopt SAP, you do it just to show potential investors that you have money. SAP is designer clothes of IT.
I kinda thought about it, and it was confirmed by a person who worked with SAP for the last 20 years.44 -
Call it like you see it:
TF30063 : You have been fired quietly, or the Microsoft authentication system is down (again.)
1 -
Anyone else hate it when your client knows jack shit and asks you for something that they think is easy but for you is a weeks worth of shit? Yeah it sucks balls6
-
Nothing like taking a company IT security training that requires Flash.
The first step to be able to run the training?
Override your browser's security setting to allow Flash to be able to run.
Anyone else see the irony here?1 -
FirstRant FR = new FirstRant();
Why is it that when you are looking for a method to do what you need and manage to find it, it is deprecated?2 -
When you switch a regular keyboard to an emoji one on an iPhone, the keyboard becomes a several pixels shorter. It’s barely noticeable but when you notice it, you can’t unsee it.
“This is it. This is what matters. How a product make someone feel”
– Apple7 -
When your boss asks you if you know how to fix it and how long it is going to take.
Task Manager (not responding) -
me: Have you heard of Murphy's law?
them: Yeah.
me: What is it?
them: If something can go wrong, it will go wrong.
me: Right, have you heard of Cole's law?
them: No, what is it?10 -
You know something is ABSOLUTELY NOT RIGHT when you see this code.
Even more when you notice the parameter is not being used at all!
Holy crap, it is a web api deployed in production. Imagine it being called!
4 -
You don’t hate X, you hate the word “X” because of a single bad experience with it on an early stage of your path.
You don’t know X because you banned it early and never learned it. The only thing you see is its bad part. Everything has its bad part.
The fact that X has bad apologists doesn’t mean that X itself is bad18 -
Printed a Pi Zero Case for @joshbent.
Hope you like it (it is the non chamfered version). It is not perfect, but I think it came out quite good. The color is a bit off in the picture. It is a really nice red in reality.
6 -
Arguing with my girlfriend (recalled from my mind, not 100% accurate)
she: What do you expect when you buy an android?
Me: sure thing apple is more "unpack it, use it", easy to use - but android is more like an empty canvas. The first thing when I buy it is setting it up to my needs.
she: You don't understand, what do you expect from your android device?
me: It has to be affordable and work for a certain time
she: No I mean, do you.. when you unpack your phone, expect it TO WORK?
me: Sure, it's not like I buy a pile of trash, I expect it to work
she: you're too stupid, baka
me: ... ? *confused*
she: When you say it is like a canvas, isn't a canvas someday full?
me: yes, every phone, iPhone, Pixel, Samsung, every phone has a limited memory
she: *mad* you don't get it, silly
me: I want to but heh, I don't get it10 -
So, for my C class, the computers in the lab are using VS 2015. To be able to compile C we have to change some settings to allow the program to compile.
I like to use my computer (with Arch Linux) and use my tools (Vim and GCC).
The guy next to me was trying to do the homework, but he was struggling. I decided to give it a shot and I was able to do it, so I showed him my code and he tried it in the computer.
The program crashes every time no matter what. We asked the professor. I show him my code and how it's working. Apparently he was confused because I was using the terminal and not VS. So he proceeded to said that it's because I'm not using VS2015 and GCC is doing the whole work for me.
I'm like ಠ_ಠ and then he keeps saying that he doesn't know what or how GCC works (for real? Someone that teaches C and has a Ph. D on CS doesn't now what GCC is?) but that it is apparently doing everything for me. So my code should be wrong if it crashes on VS2015.... ಠ_ಠ
What do you think? I'm thinking about talking with the head department of CS (I know that he is a Linux guy) and see what happens. Should I do it? Or should I just use VS2015 as the "professor" is asking?
I even tried online compilers to see if it was just working on my computer, but even they use GCC to compile.5 -
Ohh you study something about computers!!
Here's an old Nokia phone and it doesn't have Internet on it, can you make it have Internet?
This is a true story. :(1 -
1. You find out a new song
2. You love that song.
3. It's your favorite song now.
4. You keep on listening it on repeat for like a 1000 times.
5. Now you hate the song.
Is it only me or is this common ಠ︵ಠ5 -
(popup) ERROR OCCURRED!
But we're not going to tell you what it is...
Or at hint what the root cause is...
Let alone tell you how to fix it...
2 -
It taught me new curse words .
It taught me you may fail couple of times but eventually you will successfully get the job done
It taught me that anything is possible if you are willing to spend your time for it -
That moment when you're dragged to a meeting with a group planning a dating app with custom avatars, discuss about what art style to use (realistic vs cartoonish) and the guy in the suit casually mentions he doesn't understand how there are people attracted to "hentai" and its related art styles.
😨 -
Dear Coffee,
I ask for your help.
I need to pass this exam, and at the same time a client is angry.
I invoke you.
Like the function I'm in.
A function of time, a function that will probably never halt but you cannot prove it. You hope it will stop soon, but deep inside you know it will continue to compute.
I beg you, Coffee. Make this function of procrastination stop. Please.
I see no escape.
It is a tail-recursive function. You realize it as soon as you reach the end.
You can do nothing about it, you're trapped inside this loop. At each iteration you hope to reach the bottom, but you never know. You can only hope that the bottom is close.
This is the last one, you keep repeating to yourself.
Please Coffee, let it be a non-pure function.
Make the environment change.
Only then we can be saved.
3 -
Freecad isn't open source software!
If it is impossible to get something compiled, it can't be open source.
When you can't compile it, all, that is left, is to use a binary.
If there is only a binary, it isn't open source.
Seriously: If you are participating in an open source project, please make sure, that compiling from source is a viable option for the generic gentoo user. Thank you.10 -
And here it is: Todays absolute privacy nightmare which makes me glad I'm not using google services
TL;DR
Google has accidentally locked out users because their documents content violated the ToS
https://washingtonpost.com/news/...1 -
It's almost midnight here and I just realized something. I just realized that none of my college friends have contacted me in almost a year now... Like none of them. They hang out every weekend near the college I cannot coz im working and it has never occurred to them that "hey there's this guy that we we were together for four years with , I wonder what he's doing how's he holding up" and I wasn't even an asshole or a douchebag or something I guess I just vaporizer from their memories like a volatile liquid.
I also feel like my boss gives me nearly impossible tasks so that I fail like "design these two complete web applications in three months while you do your actual job of teaching people java for 8 hrs a day"
And now here I am at midnight sitting curled up in the corner of my bed like a paranoid chipmunk that drank a pot full of dark coffee, trying to talk to this random bunch of people from random places in the world who are doing random shit right now. And the worst part is I chose this ... I wanted this I wanted to make a difference. I didn't want to be just a cog in a machine.
If I die right now how many people would cry? I ask myself that a lot it's never more than ten. This is probably creeping u out right now so I'll probably end this.
Rest assured six hrs from now I will put my mask back on. a mask of a happy, mildly funny, averagely successfully geek, until my next date with sadness3 -
There is a constructed language called Tokipona. It was made to be the easiest language, and it only contains like 137 words or so.
This language is a perfect demonstration of “expressivity”. Tokipona is not very expressive. Before you know it, your sentence is obscenely long, and you didn't even convey the full meaning of what you wanted to say.
It's also the case with “easy” programming languages and frameworks. Code quantities rise exponentially, and the more code you have, the more bugs there are. There is no magic. And then you have to debug it. Not so easy, huh?
9 -
Me: "Can you get the user to send us a recent crash dump?"
(Support person forwards my email)
User: "The most recent ones are from November"
Support person: "It seems they haven't had any this month"
Me: (?????!!) "Which November?"
The eventual crash dump was datestamped with today's date. -
When your client tells you "it should just be like the other thing you did" and it turns out that it is completely different from the other thing you did in every possible way.2
-
After reading so many peoples rants about Wix ads, I have been asking myself, "Why in the fuck are people on here seeing Wix ads? What in the hell happened to their adblock?! Did their adblock quit? Is adblock missing? Why is no one concerned that adblock is missing?! We need milk cartons and a search party formed ASAP!"1
-
Scenario A:
Your code is working. You run again, now it's not working.
Scenario B:
Works on production. Next day it doesn't.
It is nothing you just experienced alternate universe. You probably with your manager temporarily jumped into another timeline where your code is not working.
Next time it happens tell your manager it's not your fault.
Eureka!6 -
Stupid fucking communities normally all pieces of garbage. And no, there is no built in garbage collection, but then I find this, I POST 1 THING AND I GET GREAT RESPONES AND REALLY NICE ENGAGEMENT LIKE WTF3
-
When QA keeps on filing bug but you go and check and it's a feature.
No. Seriously IT IS a feature.
Like c'mon! I told you it is a feature. Go and check sys req!
What is wrong with this world? >.<1 -
Whichever fucking cunt at Wordpress came up with that filthy Walker class and how a navigation item tree should be traversed, shall be hanged to death.
How fucking brainless can one be to create such a complete pile of donkey turds?!
No wonder Wordpress itself makes no sense at all nor has it any connection to any intelligent lifeform whatsoever.
Edit: This rant does not even closely show how high my fucking rage-level is!2 -
inside you, there are two wolves
one is a post-it note
the other is composite helicopter armor
you are 3M8 -
Removing the CMOS baterry to reset bios is like when you wake up on the hospital bed and you are asking everyone, "who I'm I?", " where I'm I?", "who are you?", "when is today?", "what time is it?".
-
What is debugging an application?
Sticking in it for hours, for fixing the error. Finally when it is done, you find it is already there in SO :/.
#myFirstHackathonExperience1 -
Quote of the day:
The strength of JavaScript is that you can do anything with it. The weakness is that you will!!!
🤣🤣
- JavaScript Allongé -
Getting real tired of people posting meetings only for you to join when they end. How hard is it to have you meeting at the time you set it for? Holy shit!1
-
This is so nice..💙😄
<Heading>
Synopsis of Gita (religious book of Hindus)
<Stanza 1>
Code is an illusion
Today you are coding
Tomorrow someone else would do it
Thereafter someone else
<Stanza 2>
What did you learn
That is helping you in this Project
What are you learning
That will help you in your next Project
<Stanza 3>
Bug is the truth of life
It is today, and will remain forever
You think you have debugged the Bug
You are wrong
<Stanza 4>
It is continuous
In various new forms
It pops up
Recognise it Parth (Son of Hindu God)
<Stanza 5>
That's why go on making Codes
Don't think about the Bug
They will come to you
On their own1 -
Good code is like a good video game. When you read it first time, it feels like magic, and you feel like it does more than it actually can.2
-
React is so goddamn complicated please tell me all of this is actually worth it once you scale it up9
-
That is a barier which i saw seveal time falling to the ground...
And now there is this little ASSIST under it....
I am sure you are wondering what is that COMPANY that MADE the barrier and you cannot read it because it in bulgarian. Yes you guest it its "ASSIST". That means the COMPANY have THE BEST NAME.
Hope you get it.
-
You know how Rule 34 of the Internet is:
"if it exists, there is porn of it"
I think another one should be:
"if it exists, there's Indian spam accounts on it"4 -
No, that Nigerian prince is not real and it is a scam, and no, I am not jealous and I don't envy you, you know what, it is totally legit ... I was lying ...
-
When I first started reading about Angular 4 I must admit I was a bit excited. It seemed like it fit the company enterprise requirements. The improvements it offered on paper looked quite good for our use case. HOWEVER... After writing Angular 4 for two weeks I'm seriously doubting I made the right decision. Testing is a dependency hell and there are two ways to build and structure your application. The webpack way and the SystemJS way. The grunt way and the angular-cli way. For fuck sake Google. And the documentation is somewhat half supporting one thing, half supporting another. So when you're using angular-cli with webpack, you're pretty much screwed when we're talking about documentation. It has now taken me almost 50 hours to write a pretty basic Angular app, made it compliant with our staging environment and writing a Makefile for it, since I haven't been able to find any same way to provide custom arguments when building it with the angular-cli --aot option. So fuck you Google. Luckily I've found a way to modularize it so much that I'll be able to reuse the core in the future. So I guess I got that thing going for me, which is nice... -.-' *sigh*
-
So, you have to build an app for your company. Once it is done you submit it for the test team who ignores it completely. Then they assume that the best time to test it is after the production deployment and then everything becomes a urgency.
The best part is the PM trying to make you feel guilty about leaving after 12+ hours of work because you didn't finish everything.1 -
worst documentation ever => Samsung TV app documentation.
it is so rare that you find a function that actually works. sometimes you find a description about the function but it is in korean language. -
If you are working for a IT company and if you start taking direct work from a client, would it be unprofessional or unethical or is it fine..6
-
Python be like:
TypeError: 'callable_iterator' object is not callable
and also:
TypeError 'callable_iterator' object is not subscriptable
Why the fuck did you name it "callable iterator" if you can't call it, or iterate it.4 -
"Hey, don't promote yourself - where I'm trying to promote myself... ok? Have some respect."
OMFG...
What the fuck is wrong with you fucking morons. This is the INTERNET.
IT IS FOR SHARING THINGS.
Just because you feel special / doesn't mean - anything.
This isn't YOUR soapbox. And even if it was... look at your feet you dumb fuck. You are the one standing on it. -
that time when stuff is buggy, you struggle to make it work then you update the version of package and it works brilliantly
-
Day 1 with Chromium OS: Inclusion of packages and stuff
Day 2 with Chromium OS: Setting up CI, and realize Azure is fucking gay because their own agents disconnects after 4 hours.
Just why.
Day 3 with Chromium OS: resolve their shitty problem, now their own agents have no disk space. I blame Google.
Day 4 with Chromium OS: Fix CI in at 10 commits, give up and cry.
Day 5 with Chromium OS: Realized Travis might stood a chance, build time limit reached, now I'm shook.
Day 6 with Chromium OS: Buried myself with endless tabs of Gentoo documentation. Lost count on when's the last time I came out of my room.
Today with Chromium OS: I blame Google for making my life suffer more than the last time I had depression.
Conclusion: Chromium OS is Gentoo with extra steps and I hate it5 -
Finding an awesome new library / framework then finding the documentation is all "this is what it is" rather than "this is how you use it" *sigh*2
-
Damn you LEGO, you get more than 450€ for this shit, but it's as fast as the brick it is. Surely, even back in 2013 you could've dome better than bloody 300Mhz and 64MB RAM?! This is the bloody hello world project and it takes you an hour to create it? And you also want like ten minutes to start maven in the first place?
4 -
/dev/null is like a black hole. You know it exists, but you cannot communicate with it. It has no output, only input. It swallows all data it can possibly get and nobody knows what it looks inside.4
-
That one line of code that you know the logic of it and you know what is causing the error, but you can’t fix it!3
-
const topic = 'Laravel'
const subtopic = 'Queues'
Have you used Redis? Have you used it as your Queue driver? Is it cool? Are there better alternatives?5 -
Fuck you Python! "It's global, unless you modify it. Then you have to use a keyword first." "It is passing reference by value." Asshole language that tries to be too flexible!2
-
How do you know when it is time for a break?
transition: color 0.5em linear;
When you cannot figure out what is wrong with this transition...2 -
"this environment is externally managed"
yes, i know it is, please fucking install it
fuck you python and fuck you docker
tools for children
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡7 -
How many of you are using zeal for offline documentation on linux? If not, you should try it, it is great
-
Opinions please.
I want to share a small model in my iOS app. Now on android I'd do with with ViewModelProviders, but on iOS I'm going with SharedDataContainer which is basically a singleton class that store key value data.
Is there any better approach? Data will not be bigger than 10 list items with guid (key) and int (value)
However; when I have big data I do cache on disk or hello OOM exceptions (or whatever they call that bitch on iOS) -
What happens when downloading files is fast?
Downloading Files Flies
or Downloading Flies
It sounded better in my head. Now it is awkward. Do you feel awkward? Stop it dad, you are embarrassing me and yourself!
My job here is done.3 -
Have you ever been there when you write some code with everything you know and it still throws an error in the end when everything is said and done, you go ahead and do a last stupid thing that you know is not going to work but, WOAH... It worked. Then you didn't even bothered to know why, instead you were like, fuck it, if it works, IT WORKS!!!4
-
Doesn't it happen to you that you examine too much stock code photos?
"'new Mail()'? Now I want to know what library that is."
(It was just an example, it is probably just a masked PHPMailer)
9 -
1. Being fast doesn't meant your smart.
2. Think thrice before you apply your idea, saves not only time but your keystrokes.
3. Google is just the last resort, if you can crack it yourself there is nothing better.
4. Cleanliness is Godliness, not that believe in God but if I see you writing shit and messed up code then you gotta do it again.
5. Useless code is important, it will help you get lost later when you come back.
And most importantly, LISTEN.4 -
Any one with autotrading experience? Is it worth it? How much money do you make? How much money did you put into it at the beginning? What are the hardware requirements? What software do you use? Is it advisable to use your Computer for normal things during the day and for trading durint off times? Any tips and tricks for newbies?6
-
"Can you make this quick change?"
"Yeah, but I'll need to change every page this thing is on and you told me this other project I'm working on is high-priority. Are you sure you want me to do this?" (Also this is a change you're capable of making yourself...)
"It shouldn't take too long, we need this done."
...if I thought it wouldn't take long, I wouldn't have brought it up. -
Is there like a "You can see but can't touch" software license? Or like you can't use it commercially or distribute it? 🤔1
-
when you want to keep the code clean, but you are about to say "fuck it" it needs to work that is all....
5 -
I used to think that programming was just straight forward coding what you need.
But now I think it's describing the problem and writing code to solve that problem.
Example: recursive function. It calls itself till it finds a solution or till no options are left. You don't know the answer, but you code something that can find it for you.
Or php, you don't create every single html page, that's done by php dynamically.
The great thing is, it's less work and it is easier to catch error scenarios.
The bad thing is it has become a bit more abstract. -
Is it all worth it? We feel its freedom, We feel it's just me and my phone or my PC. Is it? Is it that private? That camera you have on your phone, what if someone is watching you right now? That microphone you have, what if someone is listening to you right now? Those stuffs you Google, Those sites you visit, you're tracked, you're tapped. Ohh Incognito, Good Luck, there's no such thing called Incognito. Is it all worth it? In fact you're getting so much out of it. Is it all worth it? Or Am I just too obsessed? Is this Internet really that free?
It's freedom but you're compelled to use. Its freedom!
#internet_vibes9 -
When someone is using your laptop and you want it back and go home, but he won't give it back to you!! >.<1
-
Java has a lot in common with ice skating.
Almost everyone can learn it
It looks great if you are pro
It is efficient in rare occasions
If you have to make a living off it it pity you1 -
!!rant && !documentation
Hm, let's see what a semi-beginner can find as a project in Python...
Oh, an API Wrapper seems interesting! *full of joy*
Okay, let's look at the documentation...
HOLY FUCKING SHIT. IT IS UGLY. IT IS INCONSISTENT. IT IS INCOMPLETE AND WRONG. WHY THE FUCK, AREN'T YOU STUPID ASSHOLES CAPABLE OF WRITING DOCUMENTATION FOR YOUR API?
HMMMMMM?
YOU STACK OF SHIT.
IF YOU HAPPEN TO CREATE AN API, AND DONT DOCUMENT IT CAREFULLY, I WILL FIND YOU.
AND KILL YOU.1 -
Can you guys let me know how microsoft teams is? Is it good, or is it polluted with fluff and garbage?15
-
!rant
When a very last minute change is required and you panic a bit, thinking it will take days to fix... but you manage to fix it before lunchtime because the API is well made.1 -
Question: How exactly is just changing the email client or browser you use actually protecting you from Google? For example, how does using ddg protect you if you use it with chrome? It sounds like actually de-google ing is a lot of fucking work.3
-
Do you guys know brain.fm? Its superb making you more productive. I have found it yesterday and it is look promising to my productivity.2
-
How one's inner and outer behaviour would be, when you boss is bullshitting you ?
Outer me : oh is it, wow you are knowledgeable person.
Inner me: fuck you bitch, get the fuck out. You lame sob..!!!3 -
There is normal to have an unexpected exception in a life.
If you learn to code, you know thats why there is try/catch exist, so when you try something and there is an exception you know how to pass it.
Why? So whenever something goes unexpected from your expectation you already have an exception for it and just pass it rather than making your entire mind crashing!
24 -
What do you think about onecoin/ onelife? Have you heard of it? They offer pretty good deal, but is it worth the money?7
-
Have you ever decided not to post a long(or short) rant just because you thought that it wasn't worth it or it is just stupid or something?1
-
Decided to try the beta build of WP 5.0 today to get a feel for Gutenberg block development, but it's not building confidence. Following the examples in the Handbook (Link: https://wordpress.org/gutenberg/...) and it's failing when trying to set up the rich text editor because apparently the object it relies upon is undefined. Been trying to track down the code for the basic paragraph box for an hour or so now so I can see how it's doing things, and haven't turned up anything useful.
-
Someone was pointing out that we aren't ranting on this platform anymore, it's only shit posting and making fun of people.
I think it goes a little deeper than that. Maybe we have just given up? Maybe we have accepted that it's not getting any better than how it is already, it can only go downhill.
Just like in a relationship, you fight with your SO when you hope that there is room for improvement, but when you stop, you know the relationship's dead.
Maybe we have accepted the fact that, it is what it is. No use in ranting anymore.13 -
Love this app.. SkyView..
You point it at stars/palette and it shows you what it is.
Edit: sorry not a rant..
1 -
Main( ) is like a boss. it does not care what you do. it's just going to tell you to do it and wait for you to return with your results.
8) 8)2 -
I have a Lenovo IdeaPad 330s and it shows the battery percentage remaining when we press any key on the keyboard while the laptop is switched off. This is a really handy feature. Does anyone know how it is implemented or how could it be implemented (on other laptops) ?
Don't just ++, favorite this post, pin it (so, you can comment on it if you find the way later) and please, mention it in the comments if you know it.4 -
Our software is super awesome! It can help you with everything!
And it is *literally* endowed with intelligence!!!
In fact, he is able to remind you when a deadline is approaching!
----
God how much I hate marketers.
Will your CRM also gain consciousness?1 -
I'm not sure if this is a red flag but it appears to me it is, as I have seen it occur more frequently by self-interested employers:
When you don't respond to their inquiry and they keep prodding you about it, even weeks after it.2 -
when the swift language cannot infer the generic type from the invocation, it also doesn't want you to explicily specify generic type in the bracket...
says i have a method:
```
func createDeferred<T>() -> ABC.XYZ.Deferred<T>
```
then if you call it like this:
```
let dfd = createDeferred()
```
It complaints that it cannot infer generic type T, which make sense.
But it also doesn't want you to code it this way:
```
let dfd = createDeferred<Int>("countProperty")
```
if you do so, it mumbles gibberish: "Cannot explicitly specialize a generic function".
What it actually trying to say is, you should put the type somewhere else so that it can show off its smartness to "infer" it from there:
```
let dfd: ABC.XYZ.Deferred<Int> = createDeferred()
```
with a few more typing and findout what exact type it is, it finally works.
the moral of the story is, in order to communicate with the wonderful work apple genius made, you don't tell it what is the answer straight away, that's defiance, you must hide the answer somewhere intricately and let the smarty swifty swift to find it out for you.6 -
Mobile
To the iOs Users:
-Which iPhone do you have?
-Is it Jailbroken?
-Do you want to use the new Electra JB?
-And If Jailbroken: Why and what do you do with it?
-If not: Why?
To the Android Users:
-Which Phone do you have?
-Is it rooted?
-If yes: Why and what do you do with it?
-If not: Why?
And my Answer:
iOs
-iPhone X
-No
-Yes! I want it so badly
-No: Didn‘t think about it when I purchased it..18 -
you know what is the most confusing shit, is that,
> you know the bug
> you know how to solve it
> you know repro it
> bug doesn't repro
> sad life
After trying to repro the bug 50 times I'm sleeping, I mean this need to clear cache only and it should work -
If you have a hard time remembering your password, just make it the error message you would typically receive. For example, if you type in an incorrect password it will tell you "your password is incorrect" aha you can quickly remember that your password is in fact "incorrect".2
-
python's threading is like cake. you eat one piece, then it eats the rest, and if you want the rest, you gotta convince it to vomit it out by doing absurd code. Then once it vomits it out, its still bad. So in the end, you can never win :p4
-
"Ok. I need to gather a bit more information to pinpoint the cause. When you say it is not working, how precisely is it not working? Does the program not open at all? If it does open, is there a specific action that you can do to reliably cause it to fail? Is it not working on only one computer, or is it failing on all computers?"
"When you click the icon it say to call support"
1 -
To those working in the US as software engineers, is it worth it? Would you recommend it ? If not, why ? And did you live all your life in the US or are you coming from somewhere else ?2
-
If you were given an aptitude test for a job and they put you on a laptop with an wifi connection, would you use the internet to solve any questions you struggled with? I mean is it cheating or is it just using your initiative?2
-
Do you know something I hate? It is when you run the software it works fine in the dev environment, but then when you actually publish it outside, it just doesn't work.
That gets me so angry...1 -
Imagine you have a dream about dreaming about unfinished code that triggers recursion, because it is unfinished and that is why you are dreaming about it.
-
"Service is Service" don't take crap personally when there is a deadline looming people will react in different ways, people will blame you for things that are not your fault, people will swear at you, they will try to devalue you to make you feel bad about yourself and then regret it later if you take it personally it will play on your mind and make you ill don't make yourself ill if you mess up fix it messing up is what staging is for.
-
Do you know that some articles in medium.com is locked ? To unlocked , unblurred it you need to read full article , you need to subscribe to medium.com.
But when you copy the URL of a locked article and paste it in incognito mode which it unlocked for free.
What kind of bug is this 😂?6 -
Why is CSS beautiful? It's like asking why is Beethoven's Ninth Symphony beautiful. If you don't see why, someone can't tell you. I know CSS is beautiful. If it isn't beautiful, nothing is.3
-
So I'm working on this project in Django, right, and I've used it a lot. I love it, personally, I enjoy using it, it's great. And when I run it locally, it all works like a dream. Nothing is wrong, all behavior is as expected, all of that. Then I deploy it and let me tell you it is a DIFFERENT story. The same source code, same versions of Python and Django and what have you, same urlconf, but the thing DOESN'T WORK. Like most of it is fine. But posting an update to a database object throws a 404 (!!!works on the development server!!!), resetting passwords just sends you back to the index page (you get the email and the 'we just sent you an email' page on the development server). I think something is out to get me. I'm being haunted.6
-
Hmm ... currently using manjaro (arch). Worth giving gentoo a shot? To those of you who use it on a daily basis, - can you recommended. Would you advice against it? Is it hard to get used it to it?6
-
PHP guys: Magento is so rampant nowadays. Are you currently using or studying it? If not, do you plan on studying / using it even if it is not a job requirement? 🤔9
-
When someone accidentally does a typo and you don't know if it is a typo or another shortcut for word(don't know how it is called) that you don't know...1
-
How was/is your college experience? Did you learn a lot there or do you think it is/was a waste of time?2
-
c# AutoMapper is SOSO good.. On paper...
Once you start using and thre is couple of levels of inheritance involved, it turns to shit.
Searched for fucking 5 hours a problem... Only to find "Oh yeah in this case you need to manually map properties"
Fuck you
JsonConvert.Deserialize(JsonConvert.Serialize(myShit)) it is4 -
Gotta love it when the problem you have with an unfamiliar OSS project is so easy to fix that you can do it yourself
-
Is anybody here (ISC)² certified? Do you find the certifications valuable in your career? Is it a certification you found you could self-study for?
-
Guidewire is the work of satan. It is the worst framework I have ever worked with. OOTB code is full of antipatterns, creating gui is a pain, and it has its own language that is a pure joke. Every task I had had to have some sort of workarounds. You cant junit test it. Entity builders are a mess and you cant mock gosu classes. I hate it so much.
-
Does any of you guys live in London? If so, what is life like there? Is it easy for someone to live alone there or is it too lonely?2
-
Using twig templating language. It gives you error messages, but it only tells you the error of the line in the twig template. This is ok until you go to that line and it calls a twig function, which goes off to a load of different classes. Why not tell me the exact class where the error is, or even the line number in the class. Instead you have to unpick it until you find the bug yourself!
Am I missing something? Or is this just the way it works? -
! Rant
Fellow ranter do you have an 3d printer?
Is it hard to get into it (designing own models)?
Is it fun?3 -
What is consciousness? Can it be simulated? If so, is it possible with current hardware? What is thought? Is it an input or an output? Is it voluntary? Is there a gap between stimulus and response? If so, how large is it? What happens there? How do you know?22
-
!rant
Guys, do you think a mechanical keyboard is worth having for developers? If it is, which model would you recommend? Thanks!3 -
Is anyone here using Avocode? Is it good/bad, what do you like/hate about it etc? And do you recommend using it?2
-
Nothing is as fucked up as it seems, you have this, you'll figure it out, if you can't fix it, scrap it, don't stress yourself out, it's not worth it etc.
Current boss is the best.. Helped me a bunch, not only with how to tackle coding but life in general. -
What do you think about coffee? is it just a psychology need? or it really boosts you to code? question for those who drink coffee9
-
Oh my goodness! Philippines what are you thinking? You know "our" country is going to host the SEAG you should've started the preparation since last year. This is the problem "sometimes" in Philippine government. Those at top (management) thinks since it is IT, it would be easy to source out. This is also one reason why the IT Professionals from private looks down to Government IT.
Source:
(https://news.abs-cbn.com/sports/11/...)[https://news.abs-cbn.com/sports/11/...]1
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