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How about some good news for a change?
We have new baby! 😊 He's our second.
And he was born on 10/24!
He's going to be my little devvy.
😊😊😊45 -
I had to renew my I.D.
I went to my town offices but their software kept crashing without hope because I'm born on Feb 29.9 -
Brain is a incredible thing!
It works 365 days per year and 24 hours per day. Starting with the day when you born and ending with the moment when you start writing the code.3 -
Douche: So your a programmer ?
Me: Yes
Douche: Excellent, I have an idea.....
Me: No
Douche: cmon bro, week be rich, this screensaver so will make us tons of money
Me: I have a question.
Douche: corz man waddup
Me: do you use a screensaver?
Douche: no, why?
Me: *walks away angrily10 -
At first there was nothing...
Then the software engineer said "LET THERE BE A PROJECT"
and there was a project. And it was [good]
On the secondth day, he said " LET THERE BE GIT", and there was a empty git repo
his colleagues hate him because thy still live in 2001 and they use SVN. But it was {good}
On the thirdth day, he said, "LET THERE BE AUTOMATION" and build systems came, And it was </good>
On the fourth day, he said "LET THERE BE A FRAMEWORK" and a framework was born. Problem is, it didn't work in his machine , so he whined and StackOverflow. It's still ["g", "o", 0, "d"]
on the fifth day, he said " LET THERE BE FRONTEND", and the frontend was born, but his colleagues again, ranted for using Angular instead of React. It's still "good";
And on the sixth day, he said "LET IT BE SOLD TO A CUSTOMER" and it was, but the bloke was a cheapskate wanker and paid him only the half of the contract price. But it was still good.
And on the seventh day, he rested, but he didn't actually, because Developers never rest nor sleep. And it was good3 -
Client: Glad to have you on the team, you come highly recommended for your experience in Microsoft technology, specifically asp.net
Me: I was contacted for a php, mariadb project
Client: well they're all the same
Me: actually sir no.... No they're not.
Client: then why was I told to contact you
Me: you tell me, your hiring manager contacted me for a php project not asp or. Net
Client: well I guess I know who to blame for your, sorry for taking your time. Can I contact you if we have a project made with that thing you mentioned?
Me: php?, Sure
Client: nice...... Take care
Me: you too
That went better than I expected3 -
Clint want custom CMS with php,
*makes custom CMS with php
Client thinks it's not php coz it looks pretty.
*shows php code
client still not convinced it's php8 -
Life of an IT guy
1.Born
2.Study
3.Job
4.Shall I share my screen?.
5.Are you able to see my screen?
6.Am I audible ?
7.Correct me if I'm wrong
8.Sorry I was on mute
9.Ok.. I am sending that email.
10.Did you receive my email?
11.I am on a sick leave.
12.Death
Pretty much it!4 -
And then the protection broke and "Avast" was born .... and the broken nature has been there ever since.
1 -
I might not be able to move to Germany with my husband because I was born with one hand and the Army is apparently concerned it'll make me spontaneously drop dead, even though I've survived for (almost) 27 years like this.
This is why I like computers, they make more sense and don't say stupid things like that.21 -
Am 23, I plan to have 4 kids in the future.
This will be their first names
1. Ruby - Female name
2. Pearl - Female name
3. Haskell - Male name
4. Python - Last born. Most loved. But am sure he will hate me for his name😂😂
All I need is a wife now or a girlfriend could do🤔...38 -
My birthday is coming up on the 13th so I'll be 17 soon, but it's a shame. I like being 16...
Anyway... I'm going to spend the entire day working on my python script because I know no one will come.
For 5-6 years no one came to my birthday even though they said they would.
It's fine. I stopped caring, besides, I get to spend the day with variables and loops! It'll be a fun day, not to mention I'll be home alone so no one will bother me.
Useless but interesting fact: I got lucky. I was born ONE MINUTE before Valentine's day. At 11:59 I would be so upset if I was born on the 14th.77 -
@No-one asked me to make a devRant related waifu but I went "why not if devRant WAS the waifu"
and this was born while waiting for compiling code (again)
24 -
Seriously fuck mandatory security questions, these are my options:
What year did you meet your spouse?
I'm single.
What is your favorite book as a child?
I didn't have a favorite book. (and still, don't)
In which city did you meet your spouse?
I'm single
What is the first name of the first person you went to prom with?
Didn't go to prom.
Which state did you first visit (outside of your birth state)?
I've been to about 43 states and can't remember when I started traveling, how the fuck am I supposed to know?
In which city was your spouse born?
Again I'm single.
In which city did your oldest sibling get married?
I don't have any siblings.
C'mon, at least let me create my own question because right now I have no choice but to make up random shit and write it down in LastPass as a note.5 -
"I want to create a Linux distribution from scratch but i don't know how to code, I'll pay you $300 but i get to have the rights to it"8
-
So at the beginning there was assembly.
But people wanted something more highlevel, so C was born.
But writing big projects was a pain so C++ was invented.
But then the web started to become more popular and C++ wasn‘t really good at that, so Rasmus Lerdorf created PHP.
And then everything moved to the client and should be loaded dynamically for better UX, so everyone writes JS.
But JS doesn‘t have a good performance, so people created web assembly compiled from C...
Am i the only one who sees the irony in this?7 -
How the fuck does these testers find these bugs
there are like
- go to this
- click on this
- type the first 57 digits of pi
- sacrifice your first born to the devil
-> there the table is misaligned by 13 pixels, fix that7 -
⏺ Procrastinating - SoundCloud on shuffle mode.
⏺Concentration lvl - NOOB or repeated work - Something that a mindless zombie could do. I play OneRepublic, Maroon 5, Coldplay, GreenDay, etc.
⏺ Concentration lvl - Serious - AudioMachine, Two Steps from Hell, etc
⏺ Concentration lvl God mode - I require absolute zero silence. You make as much a *sigh* anywhere within 4m radius of me, or I realise of your existence, you would wish you weren't born.4 -
Hey fellow devs,
I'm proud to say, that today I've passed my final step/exam of my apprenticeship.
So now I'm officially an IT-Specialist - Software Development or "Fachinformatiker für Anwendungsentwicklung" in german.
I'm so fuckin' relieved and happy that this chapter is now finally closed and the real fun can begin!
My new job - indeed the old one with 4x payment and just a 32 hour week instead of a 40 hour one.
Now I will cheer and drink as much whiskey I can find out there! :D
PS.: This baby (pic related) was my presentation device today. One member of the commission had to laugh, a ranter as it seems! ;)
16 -
I hate it when people don't understand that programmers are prone to depression just like anyone else in other professions.
And my blood literally boils when someone says "Stop overthinking". Like bro, overthinking is literally how I make a living.
If I stop thinking about how my code can fail, I no longer can make a living out of this. I'll be no better than a handicapped PTSD possessed war veteran.
Also, IMO, you're born with an overthinking mind. It's not learned or acquired from an influence. I wish I could stop overthinking, but I have to accept it's beyond my control and try to tame it best I can.
It just sucks. But it is what it is. I know my head is spitting words out at full capacity right now, which just leads to depressed thoughts, and it will calm itself right down after some time.13 -
Sometimes I feel I'm the live version of stack overflow for my family and friends...
Mom: The printer is acting up, how do I fix it?
Brother: I can't login to Netflix, help!
Grandparents: could you fix the radio/TV?
Gf: Apple can't validate my .uk mail
All to which I replied with the answer to life, the universe and everything...
FUCKING GOOGLE IT! Have you googled it?!
And the inevitable reply: no.
The only ones who get a free pass are my grandparents they were born in the 40's and think YouTube works on voodoo.7 -
May be when the first human is born on Mars, we'll have to add "Planet of Birth" to our passports.😂11
-
Found this in my dad's house.
Looks as if he didn't used it.
Any one know how to install this somehow? (Even though it is impossible, probably)
37 -
I love how some services have trap pricing, pretty much like drug dealers of the interwebs.
Me: I would like to send e-mail to my clients.
Company: Sure bro, here, take our service, you can send emails to all your clients, just 5€ per month!
A year later
Me: I have now over thousand customers, I would like to send more emails and implement some new features.
Company: Thousand customers you say?
Me: Yeah
Company: All in our servers you say?
Me: Yeah, thanks for the great service!
Company: Sure, no problem. We can enable you additional services for 40 000€ per month, half of your liver and two of your first born babies.1 -
Diversity Support Tickets EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE
Because if you happen to be born a woman or you like men (or women or both or none - its up to you) you'll get that €399 ticket for free. Seriously? From when white straight man can afford to pay for the conference but a different skin, gender or sexual orientation cannot?
No hate - you do you, but from my perspective as a woman, I feel this is kind of unfair to all my male fellas out there.5 -
The education system is a fucking joke. How do you get through all the required courses and get to the capstone course where your one goal is to build a simple prototype of a project(like a simple website) for a real world client and not know HTML or CSS when you spent a whole fuckboy semester on a class dedicated to HTML, css, JavaScript and the teacher gave you the PHP. Not only that but you can't even figure out how to use a simple google search to look up the documentation on any of these topics or even the easy to follow tutorials littering the internet on how to use Bootstrap which is what we're fucking using to make it faster to develop the core logic of our app but all you fucking want to do is take shortcuts and create a PowerPoint presentation in google slides and make an easy project look like shit and make me and yourselves look like shit. But don't fucking worry, I'll code the whole thing in a fucking night because you didn't do your part of taking care of just the front end and planned for your incompetence and lack of questions or help. I know you're busy looking for a job for after you graduate but you can't even answer a simple programming question. Let me give you the solution on how to reverse a string, cuz you don't remember c# but it literally takes 30 seconds to google the solution that is everywhere. My project team is why no one takes a degree from this university seriously.9
-
Fuck that bitch of a mother of mine. After what she's done to me, I would totally just fucking electrocute her (lawyers, this is a rage post not a real one, I've learnt from that previous psychiatrist that these rages can be taken improperly!) or just send a fucking EMP to her fucking "schermpkes" (EN: screens, displays, whatever! Technology!) or whatever. FUCK THAT FUCKING WHORE!!!
Yes she gave birth to me. Should I be thankful for that, in this world where for some fucking reason Flat Earthers still exist, Despastico and those goddamn fucking Paul brothers became a thing? FUCK NO!! I wish I wasn't born in the first place! Or rather, a thought that's been playing for a long time in my head. Why the fuck can't I just cryo myself and be reborn in the next millennium?! No, that's not possible because as it is now, humanity will likely have fucked up the planet by then. Majority of the people are still no more than self-jerking fucking monkeys. With their Instagram geotagging shit all over the place, nametests and shit like that. FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!! Why are people like this?!!!! Why can't people be a tad more intelligent, why can't people actually learn about what this reality is all about?! Why is the burden of all this on scientists, no those who spoonfeed information into the mouths of the masses, like fucking Hashem Al-Ghaili (which is an amazing person but he's doing too much spoonfeeding IMO). WHY?!!! WHY AM I BORN IN THIS FUCKING DYSTOPIA?!!!!
WHY AM I BORN IN THIS FUCKING WORLD WHERE PEOPLE ARE INDOCTRINATED INTO "NOTHING TO HIDE, NOTHING TO FEAR"?!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!!!!!! You've got a fucking brain, USE IT!!!!
I fucking hate this world. Someone hire a hitman on the darkweb to kill me and that fucking whore that gave birth to me, NOW!!!40 -
Once again, the earth has accomplished the 30th full round since I was born.
++age;
officiallyOld = true;13 -
Wan't to hear my ridiculous recruiter story? I am originally from MA, and been on a small town since I was 4 (Born in Brazil). Well after years and years on the same town, always going back (MA) when a job here and there wouldn't work out. Going through some depression, and just got tired of everything. Well one day I found a recruiter on linkedIn and he knew a friend of mine. So he said he had a possible job offer but it was in Florida, anyhow he would later contact me and in the mean time for me to send him some examples of my work. Well in the mean time I packed my stuff and called him letting him know I was on the way. He was shocked and didn't know what to say. Went to the interview with him, got the job. 9 months later :) I don't regret taking my changes, it was all I had. I'm currently employed, love my job, and if it wasn't for my ridiculous recruiter... I don't know where I would have ended up. Long story, sorry /: ... here is a potato :) (9gag reference)
10 -
I was about to use the Duolingo but I think it triggered me to hard. 2 mistakes in a row.
1. I have Portuguese origins and they used the Brazilian flag
2. I was born in Luxemburg and they just used our flag for The Netherlands (I know they're pretty similar but cmooooon)
15 -
Why do we backend people have to be born handicapped for creating anything that doesn't look like absolute shit.
I'm trying to pick a primary color for my landing page for about three days now and I'm starting to lose my shit.
Can we all just start using fucking CLI apps and be done with the whole design thing.13 -
Can't tell what my most successful project is...
But according to GitHub Stars, my
most successful project is my RandomQuote Bot (@RandomQuote).
The story behind it is pretty boring:
One day little Skayo thought: "Hey there is no bot on DevRant yet, let's make one!".
Then he began to think: "But what should it do? What would be easy to do for an inexperienced programmer like me?".
Suddenly he got an idea: A Bot that posts a random quote everyday!
Yay!
He instantly started making it.
About a day later, it was finished.
"Let's bring this thing to live", he thought.
And there he was, quickly getting a lot of fucking ++'s...
This bot is like my first born child! I am so proud of him!
And that's the story behind the bot.
Very spectacular, isn't it?4 -
Friday I left my then current company as I felt my technical skills were not being appreciated, forget about growth. I am all set to join much nimble organization where technical skills seems to be much required. Such a relief as struggle to continue working at a place where appreciation is almost non-existent is over.
An Architect is born. -
I want my '+' to freeze at '+1998'. Because that's when I was born and it would look cool. Please don't ruin it guys..18
-
"A world where skill, not birth, would be valued.. isn't that the world you wish to make?"
- High School DxD Hero
(yes I'm a fucking weeb, get over it)
Post-meritocracy and all its assocated bullshit, it's played a major role in 2018. Because clearly merit is a bad thing. Let's make success dependent on how you're born, and what features you have upon birth. Let's have it be decided by what you are, rather than my what you aspire to be.
You know what's an already existing system like that and I despise? The caste system. A system in which not your merit but your family, your heritage, decides your success. Not merit, not what you, yes you, want to be. Fuck family, and fuck family-related hierarchies. Yet that's what the post-meritocracy society would be. One that's decided - just as much as the family factor is - on what you are, not what you want to be.
Fuck post-meritocracy, and fuck the caste system. Let's make 2019 a year of change, one where merit becomes important again.22 -
(Warning: kinda long && somewhat of a political rant)
Every time I tell someone I work with AI, the first thing to come out of their mouth is "oh but AI is going to take over the world!"
No.
It was only somewhat recently that it started being able to recognize what was in a picture from over 3 million images, and that too it's not that great at. Honestly people always say "AI is just if-else" ironically, but it isn't really that far from the truth, we just multiply an input by weights and check the output.
It isn't some magical sauce, it's not being born and then exploring a problem, it's just glorified-probability prediction. Even in "unsupervised" learning, the domain set is provided; in "reinforcement learning" which has gotten super popular lately we just have the computer decide which policy is optimal and apply that to an environment. It's a glorified decision tree (and technically tree models like XGBoost outperform neural networks and deep learning on a large number of problems) and it isn't going to "decide" to take over the planet.
Honestly all of this is just born out of Elon Musk fans who take his word as truth and have been led to believe that AI is going to take over the world. There are a billion reasons why it can't! And to top it off this takes away a lot of public attention from VERY concerning ethical issues with AI.
Am I the only one who saw Google Duplex being unveiled and immediately thought "fraud"? Forget phone scammers, if you trained duplex on the mannerisms of, for example, a famous politician's voice, you could impersonate them in an audio clip (or even video clip with deepfakes). Or for example the widespread use of object detection and facial recognition in surveillance systems deployed by DoD. Or the use of AI combined with location tracking and browsing analytics for targeted marketing.
The list of ethics breaches are endless, and I find it super suspicious that those profiting the most off of unethical AI are all too eager to shift public concern to some science fiction Terminator style takeover that, if ever possible, would be a long way out and is not any sort of a priority issue right now.11 -
Theory: zoomers are actually just boomers who come generationally full circle
Source: I work with clowns in their early 20s and the fact that they are young and were essentially born into tech and had it their whole lives literally has not contributed anything towards their understanding of basic tech concepts - if anything, it has made them more clueless.
The good news: now I know whatever is invented in the future, whatever tech comes to be, the next generation of clowns will always have many jobs to offer me.12 -
A client literally just told us "I don't wanna be telling you what I want / require / need. I just want you to give me the best you got."
Like wtf.
The worst thing is they've got but loads of money so we really have to take them serious. They were born rich and probably had a servant as a child who did everything for them without them asking to, and they'll continue to get away with it because they'll continue to be rich and there'll be people like us trying to kiss their ass for some of that money. I hate myself for doing it. They want a system to basically spy on their customers, and I'm a huge advocate of privacy, but I'll still do it for the money. Fuck this world.6 -
I'm just C# boy, born and raised in a .Net world ... Today I started some stuff with JavaScript, downloaded the JavaScript standard extension for using in Vs code... It made me do things...it made indent each new line by 2 spaces! Not 4 or a tab but 2! And then what really took the fucking biscuit, it said I couldn't end my statements with semi colons! I need a strong cup of tea and a sit after that shit. How is that at all useful to anyone!? It just made it make less sense!!!!10
-
I lost a bet today 😥 ... My surname is inman
I have to name my first born child
put-it
The bet? That apple wouldn't reject the app I submitted ... Fuck apple11 -
Interesting fact: Dogecoin is popular because of a Reddit bot that stole everyone's money.
DogeTipBot, a Reddit bot that was designed as a 3rd party resource for tipping Reddit users for good content was a bot that used Dogecoin as a micro-tipping service, giving many users their first crypto experience and popularizing the coin.
The creator of DogeTipBot went bankrupt, sold all of his coins, AND all of the coins of his users, and shut down the bot.
A currency born as a joke, made intentionally as backwards as possible, and popularized by a scam, is now worth $50 billion USD... now that's a meme.18 -
The amount of elitism you see inside of the dev community is the reason why I consider changing careers.
No, It don't hurt my feelings. I just don't want to surround myself from sexually frustrated loosers that think that getting cool points on the internet over hating and shitting over other's likes and dislikes means something.
It sucks balls and I smell the areas to be of dried cum and Cheetos.
Fuck man, being born ugly, anti-charismatic and weird must suck big balls37 -
Alright. Two dead Commodores.
Over 15 years before I was born? ✅
No idea how BASIC works? ✅
Internet at the ready? ✅
So far I've checked various chips for visible damage, and nothing except a blown fuse on both machines. Apparently it takes dual 9vAC and single 5vDC. The 9 powers the SID and the video output, the VIC-II heatsink is off, and I've tested the PSU voltages and one of the 9v's is dead. I'll be getting new fuses and a new PSU soon. Any recommendations on other things to check or things to do when they're done? Pic included because why not.
12 -
Do you ever just wake up and your first thought is the perfect solution for a problem from the previous day and then you're like wtf brain you're supposed to sleep not to solve problems at night?
This is when I know I do what I was born to do! Dev is love.1 -
I fucking hate this country. I hate this place. I hate these people.
I have to wait for seconds for chrome to even show up, I can't browse shit. VS Code fucks it up like I'm tryna solve some quantum formulas but in reality IT JUST HAVE TO OPEN A FUCKIN PROJECT FOLDER.
I hate the fact that I need to work for months to afford a decent computer, MBP or XPS isn't even a dream for me.
Wanna buy a XPS? Good. Now work for 10 months even without spending a dime. MBP? It just become 20.
Why did I have to be born in this fucking shithole part of the world? I could've just born dead, that would be less painful.17 -
One year ago I did the Week 242 Group Rant:
Dev goals for 2021?
⬜️Finish my indie Game
⬜️Publish my Indie Game.
⬜️Make my wife pregnant.
⬜️Clean codebase current C++ job
⬜️Learn Piano play
⬜️Create clean coding presentation
⬜️Be more productive
Now its 2022 lets se how far we got.
⬜️Finish my indie Game
⬜️Publish my Indie Game.
✅Make my wife pregnant.
⬜️Clean codebase current C++ job
⬜️Learn Piano play
⬜️Create clean coding presentation
⬜️Be more productive
What I did instead:
✅Worked on my indie Game
✅Went on vacation
✅Make my wife pregnant.
✅Construct, Paint, Decorate house.
✅Hold presentation about profilers
Future Goals:
⬜️Take care of my new born daughter soon.
⬜️Finish my indie Game
⬜️Learn to play Piano
⬜️Socialize a bit more8 -
When some born-in-the-90s chode claims that linux is bullshit because you might sometimes have to use the keyboard on the command line, I set that motherfucker's house on fire.4
-
I know you folks in Europe and elsewhere in the world probably take this sort of thing for granted, but it is really unusual here in the US. When our daughter is born next month, I will be entitled to 12 weeks of paid leave, which my boss (great guy, btw) has encouraged me to take fully.
My concern is that I have projects, and twelve weeks is enough time that they would probably die on the vine, even if/when I hand them off to someone else.
It's stressful, and I need a way to deal with it.5 -
It seems like everybody here was born as a legendary coder or started in their teens. I'm 24 now and just starting out.
How did you guys do it???44 -
A coworker asked me to give him a hand on a project last thursday at around 8:00pm, by Friday noon I had most of it complete. Then turn the code back to him. Then somehow , it got placed on me during the weekend....20 mins before leaving to San antonio to be with my sister while my niece was born. Yeah...no..sorry...guess who enjoyed SA this weekend? This guy. Past experiences have shown me that one should not sacrifice personal time for company bs. Specially here in south texas where the majority of employers are from Mexico. In Mexico, there is no worker appreciation culture, going above and beyond the line of duty to accomplish tasks is not met with any sort of consideration. So nope nope nope nope.18
-
Soft paywall is "forcing" me to see their site in dark-theme because I have adblocker on.
I was BORN in this briar patch!3 -
Ah you think debugging is your ally? You merely adopted the debug. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see the compiling until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but blinding!2
-
Ask a developer to code entire night
Developer:
😏🤓No Problem. I was born to play with fire 😤😎
Ask a developer to complete the associated documentation in next couple of hours
Developer:
😳🤬🤯 Better call the devil to take me to hell 😱🤒🥵6 -
Finally!
My first electric guitar was around $25, and apart from terrible sound, some notes were just off or dead because of its construction. Having no money, I was demotivated because I couldn't play what I wanted not because of me, but because of my equipment. When depression struck, I quit playing guitar altogether.
Now, because of my brilliant doctors, my therapy works, and the desire to play is born again. But now I can finally get proper instruments. I'm happily relearning how to play and it finally sounds great.
3 -
STOP PUTTING TWO SPACES AFTER PUNCTUATION THIS ISN'T 1900 ANYMORE AND YOU WEREN'T EVEN BORN YET IN THE TIME OF TYPEWRITERS26
-
RANT!
AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
BLOODY FUCK TURD BORN FROM THE BACTERIA OF YOUR MOTHER'S POOP, BRAINLESS WHORE
. JUST ONE SECOND OF YOUR NON EXISTENCE WILL CHANGE THE WORLD FOR ME.
Well this is what I would say to my brain deficient friends who think I don't have a life and sit at the computer all day playing GAMES and that I should get away from my computer and learn to PLAY with them in real life
BITCHES DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW IT IS TO WORK YOURSELF A LIVING, ALL THEY KNOW IS THROW MONEY AND GET THEIR DICKS SUCKED OFF. FUUUUUCCK!! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE GAMES PART. ALL THESE PUNY FUCKS CAN DO IS TO POST POUT FACES FILLED WITH DOG FAECES AND CRY ABOUT THEIR LOST LIKES.5 -
If you ever get bored with how far Linux has come these days, there is a solution: BSD. That shit catapults you easily back by 25 years.
So if Arch isn't shitty enough for your desire as late born and you really want to know what a piece of crap Linux was in the late 90s, have a look at BSD.7 -
I knew someone that typed with only 2 fingers ( index fingers )
There were no comments in the code because, it would take ages to write a sentence.
I don't know how someone that was born with a laptop in her lap doesn't know how to use all the fingers to type.
But, for her this was just a job. No personal projects, no will to learn new things. Just do the work they give her, as slowly as possible.
I remember I forced myself to learn how to type using all fingers when I was little. Now I even rebind the movement keys on games because is more comfortable to use "the right keys" ( I hate wasd, esdf ftw!)
How about you, do you know anyone that-s bad at typing?11 -
Interviewer: Tell us about yourself.
Me: I was born at a very young age...
Totally going to say this when I interview next.4 -
“Someone is eventually going to build a JavaScript compiler that output machine code, which will lead to an apocalypse and the death of everything you know and love when all JS code mysteriously stops working in the year 2048.
You need to stop that person from being born. I'm forwarding the details now.
Good luck,
-- Future you”3 -
-10C winter is unpleasant. -20C winter is dangerous.
-40C winter is cruel. This was the reality of living in Komi Republic — the place I was born in.
Winters there combine extreme dryness with extreme cold. Steel on steel always sparks — gotta be careful at gas stations. Because there is no wind, you don’t actually feel like you’re freezing until it’s too late. If you’re drunk — and everyone there was drunk — you’re walking home, you see a bench, you think: “I’ll just rest for five minutes, no big deal”, and you’re found frozen to death the following morning.
My grandpa once forgot one year old me on the street at night, while — you guessed it — going to get something to drink. I spent something like three hours out there.
I barely made it. Now, my legs don’t feel cold anymore.8 -
I think the next person who says I just was born with a “smart brain” I’m going to fucking rip out their throat. The absolute nerve to say that. They had no idea how much I have had to struggle to get here. I’ve worked my fucking ass off because I’m actually kinda a dumbfuck. I probably got black out drunk most weekends of the second half of high school and throughout college.
No, I don’t have a fucking “smart math computer brain” u narrow minded nincompoop. I just chose to be smarter than you bc I worked harder. Get out of my face and go make yourself useful since u clearly don’t have the capacity to contribute anything intelligent to our society.40 -
What is the weirdest shit you have seen in a daily stand-up?
I've just seen a baby horse being born on the daily stand-up.9 -
I grew up as internet became a thing, so I had a very early exposure to computers. There's actually a video of me crawling onto an old computer which still had a 5.25" floppy drive. By the age of 4 I actually started using it properly, my mum said I once talked about pressing enter in my sleep 😂 I'm glad I was born in
a time (94) to witness technology evolve at such a crazy scale. Kids these days will never know what kind of privilege it was to have a 128MB pendrive 😛2 -
Client: "documentation, oh you mean those grey texts the previous code guy wrote on the code files"
Me: I kinda need more than "grey texts on the code files" if you want me to actually fix the system and implement the new specs.
Client: oh you mean the Microsoft asp books
Me: It's a Laravel system sir, it's php not asp.net
Client: what are those?
Me:.................2 -
Ladies and gentlemen, Introducing Rezn0v-Jr, this guy was born(created) yesterday on an underperforming device later shifted to my primary device. And is not complete machine learning type. He is Pythonborn (eh.. not Dragonborn). For now he can't understand human response but only can speak (print) few sentences.
PS- Chemistry exam on Tuesday
Update- I dropped my phone again right after post finished uploading.1 -
Okay, mine is actually mildly interesting.
I was, at the time, obsessed with operating systems. The only thing I knew how to do (and I only knew how to do it poorly!) was make websites. And thus, Frames(TM) was born.
It was really labored for what it was. The whole thing worked off iframes to create different "Windows" which you could drag around the screen in a typical window-based environment. It had a start menu (Without search - I wasn't that good yet), task bar, background image, the whole 9 yards.
Some highlights from that project:
- Not hosted anywhere. Everything was file:/// protocol
- Originally, everything was statically created, and I learned about document.createElement during this project
- To communicate between the "Operating system" and the different frames, I used localStorage, which was continuously exec'ing anything it could find. Smart smart boi.
- Of course, the only thing available was web storage. The "Hard drive" was about 5MB, and if you cleared browsing data, goodbye everything!
Hours and hours happily dumped into that project, but I am definitely happy it is gone forever. -
!rant
Goodbye Java I will not miss you at all! I swear ...
I do like it when making web services (especially that I can use Java8) but for Android you have been a torture. Hello sweet Kotlin! I shall embrace you and treat you like my newly born baby!!
Story is:
Working on a new project where I need to talk to a web service (also made by me).
Started writing in Java, all is cool and unit tests pass.
Downloaded Android Studio 3 Beta 1 and converted my Java code to Kotlin, That AsyncTask did not look nice in kotlin, converted it to async & await feature and I must admit lots of code removed, no more need to create a new fucking AsyncTask every time the app sneezes for data!
I feel like I'm working with C# but with difference in syntax.
My life is now complete :)8 -
Fuck these people. They have PhDs in everything but don't know how to walk properly.
"Oh let me get right in front of you while you walk faster", have you ever driven a car you porg shit?
And these people that wear backpacks! OH MY GOD I HATE BACKPACKS! I mean, if you wear one please tell me you've been wearing them since you were born. Otherwise you're not calculating the extra space you take AND YOU JUST WALK LIKE A FUCKING GORILLA.
I have come to the point of inventing the walking permit. You're born with it, and starting at 18 y/o it can be stripped away. LEARN TO WALK.2 -
When someone in my family start a wedding ceremony and I being invited to help, but I don't have any other skill other than googling javascript. So in that time I just realize I don't like being human because I'am uselless, better be born as mic stand.2
-
!shortRant
You all complaining about shit code from coworkers and about fucking WordPress. Looks different, but know what? Answer is the same.
Money.
Let me explain.
For example, you were born in USA. You can choose any profession, and if you became pro - you will be payed great. Looks nice, isn't it?
But if you were born in Russia, India, somewhere in Africa, whatever, you can be businessman, coder or you can suck a dick to the end of you life.
Not that great, yeah?
You are looking around and see great people with their own dreams and talents. But then you ask them "to which faculty are you going?" Answer is obvious. And that's how shitcoders are born.
And yeah, about WordPress. I'm mobile developer, I just can't understand how awful it is (or not, idunno). The only thing I know - if I were PHP developer, I could earn twice more than now. But why I didn't choose that way? Because I REALLY LOVE MY WORK. Everyday is good, I'm working at weekends often, because I want.
So please, shut up. You could never work with WordPress, but you motherfucker CHOOSE IT. You could switch to node, go, Java. Why the flying fuck you didn't? Oh yeah, MONEY. So please, shut up.
Devrant isn't for crying girls complaining about shit they did themselves. (No sexism, just metaphor, sorry girls)10 -
This fucking weather. Oh this fucking weather. Neither can you go out, nor can you code. WHY THE FUCK WAS I BORN TO BURN IN THE TROPICS?
Feels like among all the assholes, the Sun likes to screw me the most.
FUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK THIS SHIT. FUCK IT.
FUCK YOU SUN FUCK OFFFFFFFF!! TAKE SOME LIME JUICE AND FUCK YOU BEFORE THE WINTER ARRIVES.13 -
Took some time off with the Mrs for our crotch goblin's first birthday and it was wonderful. I properly switched off for the first time since he was born, barely touched a keyboard, went outside, slept. I felt great.
But Jesus H Christ trying to get my mind back into work mode is a slow and difficult process. More coffee please.5 -
Please, please for the sake of your born/unborn child, check whether the names of the entity attributes are not valid sql keywords.4
-
I just came out of over 4 weeks of loneliness with no real life face to face interaction at all because of lockdown. The only time I saw another human being was when I went to the grocery store, but they were strangers.
Last few days, I started experiencing the side effects of having no real life social interaction.
My throat was getting constrained, it felt I had many things to speak and everything is stuck in throat. It felt as if my throat was choking me. I was feeling very stressed. It brought the flashbacks of the time when I was seriously depressed. I couldn't really sleep last night
Today, I decided to visit my close relatives, the place where I grew up, the place I find as my heaven on earth and I feel so much better just being in the presence of people who know me, whom I know since I born.
I don't know if anyone here experienced similar feelings. I wanted to share it here.2 -
My boss and I, with a normal morning greeting in slack
Me: morning boss, how are you?
Boss: very good and you?
Me: marvelous. hey boss, do you have a secret entry to your office? I didn't see you coming
Boss: hahaha, front door :| . And I greeted everyone too
Me: :( sorry
Boss: Microsleep 😂
Me: 😎 nope, extreme concentration
Me: it's a new development methodology, born from extreme programming
Boss: 😶3 -
PM asked me to make the code deeper, here's the new load script:
//Someone is born (init script and load deps, also run it)
$life = new begin_life();
//magic happens (generate random token)
$life->Living = openssl_random_pseudo_bytes(rand(), TRUE);
//We end it all
$life->die();3 -
Looking around where I work, I'm reminded of when I was young and ambitious, like all the other kids around me at the time, with a dislike for all the older dudes and dudettes in upper management. With the exception of three other guys around my age, everyone, including the CEO, was in high school, middle school, elementary school, or not even born yet when I started my career. Just like them, I was plucky and chatty and (trying to be) funny and social. I didn't know how fast I would go from that set to the old fat guy that they look askance at and wonder how I'm still around with my weird ways and "boomerish", socially retarded behavior. What's really galling is that I'm solidly Gen X, like some of them, but I guess I talk more like a Boomer because my parents were older when I was born and I was kinda raised in that mindset. I'm the office schlub now. A man out of my time. And I've never been in any kind of upper management, even. I am Kevin Malone.
3 -
FUCK YOU $CLIENT_NAME !
You tell me I've spent the last 6 months molesting and hacking your piece of garbage multistore prestashop?
Just for you to yet again, change the specifications, saying "I don't want a multistore anyway please split them up"
What an imbicile moron, you want me to duplicate the codebase/database 7 times? just to start "downgrading" each one individually? To make a few adjustments to each one.
What the fuck have you been smoking? I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.4 -
Onthisday in 1912, brilliant Codebreaker, genius computer scientist, Alan Turing was born.
As we remember his remarkable life, and tragic death. -
29 hours straight. From a thursday morning at 8 to friday around lunch at 13. No sleep at all.
A coworker became a dad a week before, so now I had to complete his data migration project. Had not been involved in the project at any point until his son was born.
But I made it and got a bonus in the end👍🏻 -
Really regretted to born in India. I know I should not say bad about the country in which I born and living it but there are so many reasons.
Govt of India is very poor. Nothing can be processed if you don't have offered bribe or you don't have political power and pressure.
My company offering me onsite to go London for my project, govt is not issuing me PCC Police Clearance Certificate even I never had any crime.
Police says for your current address 6 month is duration you're living here so we submitted 6 months crime is nil and 4.5 years is more required.
I went to passport office and happy to submit all documentation for previous addresses so that police verification can be done but no body is taking documents
No progress in my file.
I'm too much frustrated now.
I reported to ministry and prime minister of India but even no progress.
I'm really fed-up.
:(14 -
USA: you were born American, so you must pay American taxes even if you live and do business in some other country, or else say hello to the IRS. You know, we need money to feed our trillion dollar army (that can't handle protests and prevent civil casualties)
also USA: *prints two trillions of dollars in 10 months* Here's your $1200 stimulus package10 -
Been playing Skyrim a lot lately. "research" I guess. So any abbreviations and the like I think of TES or Skyrim related lore. I saw a post on devrant earlier that mentioned DB. My first thought was Dark Brotherhood. So this meme was born:
2 -
Got a strange thing today in class, as a teacher in programming. We have a lab where the computers haven't yet their final configuration ended, so the user used by the students is the administrator of the computer. And today, a student calls me and tell "sir, the password isn't the one you gave to us" (temporary the same for each machine until we fix the configuration).
Go to student's place, password incorrect with a hint "you know the code : up, up, down, down... oh, you don't know, huh? Too old! Too bad!"
Password was - off course - "konami".
But... how a student born in 1997 can think he can troll me with the konami code?!
He wasn't even born when I played on the NES as kid!
Sometimes I'd like to teach my students how to fly by tossing them by the windows...1 -
work laptop without admin permissions to install anything, like a text editor, or IDE
why couldn't i have been born to a rich family instead of being a wageslave4 -
I thought nobody actually use directly CSS instead using a framework that hiddes it for real applications.
I thought it until meet my frontend coworker. He not only uses it, also understand it.
Admiration has born inside me.10 -
Dude imagine being born in 12/3/4567.
Writing birth date fast af.
You could even slide your finger as a pianist.11 -
Other team lead: Hi DevOps Team, We need you to deploy this app to production. It's maintainers gave up on it in 2019, but we looked at it and it feels right.
Me: Uhm. That's not going to work. It'll fail the security scan before you can even finish the build in CI.
Other team lead: Yeah, this app is the right thing to do, and we needed it last week, but since that won't work, we'll just use this other very very infant technology that was just born yesterday. It's not stable in production, or on MySQL, or in AWS at all, but it's the other direction we can to go.
Me: What problem are you trying to solve in the first place?
Other team lead: Oh, we need access to the read from the production database.2 -
The letter for my grandpa. Too bad he died the year before I was born, my grandma said he would’ve loved talking to me because it seems like we have the exact same ways of thinking.
3 -
Toxic relationships are the worst thing that can happen to anyone. While some of them you can get out of or avoid. You can't do much about the ones you're born into.
Such people have their egos up their butt. They just don't realise that they're just a tiny dust particle in the entirety of cosmos. They not only make things difficult for others by their presence, but often go out of their way to do that.
Fuck this! -
Went to The fruit company (Watch Forrest Gump if you don't know which company I am referring to) to pick an order up for a friend of mine. Showed the girl the email with order ID on my phone, and she tapped "Show Remote Content" without my consent to download the barcode because she was born after 1996 and too lazy to use the keypad on her scanner.7
-
Signed up on Freelancer as a soft engg. graduate with quite a lot of projects in Android and web services. A guy inboxes me regarding an applied bid and once everything's clear and mutually agreed upon with, he presents me with this one God damn question - "how many years of experience have you got?"
With truth said, all I get in response is, "looking for people with more exp. thanks for your time".
Yeah I'm sure he was born with 5+ y experience right off the bat. 😠12 -
A Merry Christmas to everyone here in DevRant community. I wish for you a season of goodwill, peace and happiness. May your frustrations coupled with depressions reduce! Also Happy Holidays. 😊😊😊
-
In the beginning, computers used relays on a macro scale instead of micro electronics
In the 40's admiral grace hopper found a moth in one of the relays and the term "debugging" was born
1 -
Or is it my life that has impacted coding? I'm so glad I was born in the right time. I can't even imagine what I would do instead of coding if I had to live in say, the middle ages.3
-
Mother hugging systemd... Nobody asked tou to be born in a first place. Nobody asked you to solve problems we didn't have. And nobody asked you to open hugging backdoors in our systems!
https://thehackernews.com/2018/12/...3 -
Year 2000. I was 6.
One day my parents bought an assembled PC with Windows 95.
That day changed my life, a new passion has born.
I had internet for the first time only 6 years later, in 2006.
Until today I've also had Windows 98, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1 and now 10. -
The world is a shitty place, everything depends on your rng, two could be working the same job but one ends up making 10x more because they were born in the right country.
I know what you're going to tell me, quit being a crybaby and acting like a victim, always easier for the fortunate to spew out that bs.15 -
I was just watching a web series on X: the generation that changed the world, and damn!! Those X-ers (people born b/w 1961-1981 ) have really made changes that disrupted the whole world! Comparing to them, i feel like we millennials haven't made anything *that* disruptive.
- calculators happened which evolved to computers and then began a crave for knowledge and technology
- Netscape gave a new use to computers
- Tim Berners lee ,napster disrupted the way of sharing data.
- Google changed the way of searching.
- Amazon gave the true business value to internet.
- The revolution of music , hip hop and television.
- ...
(And these are just the first 2 episodes!)
Btw what do we millennials bachieved? Tiktok, heartbreaks, and porn fetishes :/9 -
Who on here used GeoCities?
I never got to see it since I'm born after yahoo bought it but do you maybe even have your old site to showcase?^^5 -
Oh BASIC night, the LEDs are brightly glinting;
It is the night of the dear GOSUB’s birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error printing,
Till you appeared and the RAM felt its worth.
Shiver of fear, line numbers do inspire,
For yonder breaks a mostly harmless GOTO.
Fall on your bits, O hear the Visual voices!
O BASIC divine, O BASIC where GOTO was born!
O BASIC, O Holy BASIC, O BASIC, you’re mine!
Some want to say, “GOTO is harmful always,”
But what of them, in their post-modern world.
We PRINT the truth, in the line-numbered goodness,
But Dijkstra appeared, and the faith, it was lost.
A thrill of hope, when .NET BASIC announces,
But Visual BASIC, what kind of thing are you?
Fall on your GUI, O see the old line numbers!
Behold BASICA, O BASIC when DOS was born!
O numbers, O lines, spaghetti divine!
Source: http://changelog.complete.org/archi...2 -
What I have learned from neutral networks for my life.
It's already a year that I'm familiar with NNs. I did not write anything serious and did not learn it that deep. But, actually, the basic knowledge gave me an interesting view to my life. I just want to share one fact with you.
There is a learning speed in NNs, which specifies how fast does the network learn. If it is too high, any new information will be accepted very easily but will wipe the past of the network's knowledge and if it is too low, the network will hardly accept new info but remember everything. When people born, they learn everything very fast and by the age they become more hard-learners Here, I've learned that you should not live in the past, and not for the current day. You just have to keep the balance.1 -
Some days I can't get over the cynical gnawing outlook that everything is shit and nothing gets better and it's all down hill, thats theres no real future for any of us, no stability or careers that won't vanish or be replaced or outsourced. That the entire economy in the west runs on fraud and lackyism and bullshit and a revolving door of never ending hype and marketing.
Somedays I feel like I'm just waiting to get old and die.
Maybe this cynicism and pessimism is born from a period I went through from 2008 when I was just turning 18 to 2013 when I lived with my parents and went through several shit jobs where I was essentially disposable. But the entire situation and the bad start in life has left me with a gut feeling that nothing really matters and it all can vanish over night or be taken away.
Sorry to be a downer, just some days I can't see what the point is.8 -
Apparently they knew how to program in bible (partial translation of a traditional passover song below):
If He had brought us out from Egypt,
and had not carried out judgments against them
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had carried out judgments against them,
and not against their idols
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had destroyed their idols,
and had not smitten their first-born
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had smitten their first-born,
and had not given us their wealth
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had given us their wealth,
and had not split the sea for us
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had split the sea for us,
and had not taken us through it on dry land
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
-
searching on how to do something on your project. a couple of hours later, you ended up watching on how the universe was born and theories of aliens .. #researchGoneTooFar2
-
Man all I ever do is fix bugs in a giant overgrown calculator, that has references to code before I was even born. It might be new job time
-
I really wish to live in the 80s era. I guess i was born in the wrong timeline. Watching the footage and movies of that time really makes me think yall lived a far more enriching life while half of us genz scroll our life away on these fucking apps.
Also not being rich wasn't a problem as much as it is now with all the social media narcissism that is normalized with every other joe and joess labelling their puberty as some earth shattering transformation and posting all these glow ups with filters that make em look unreal and stupid shit18 -
Currently working on a new feature on some old undocumented part of the code born out of the bastard fork of draw.io -back when it was opensource- and without a doubt the hardest part of it all is using GIMP TO DRAW A FUCKING ICON WHICH IS THE SAME AS AN OLD ICON WITH ONE MORE LETTER ON TOP I WANT TO DISEMBOWEL WHOEVER DESIGNED THIS PIECE OF SOFTWARE12
-
No one is born evil. Evil only ever forms in people as an answer to evil done to them.
Those who never face any evil are the luckiest. Those who develop evil but later find the strength to retire it are the strongest. Those who face evil but never respond with evil are saints. Those who do respond with evil are on their way to finding their inner strength.7 -
Sometimes I feel like I was born to code.
So I like making design, print and wear them.
Stay Safe Folks.
And Happy Coding
5 -
Why do anything? We all live on a floating rock. There is no meaning. To define meaning is our lives, objective or subjective, is functionally absurd. We are all here, chasing fleeting moments of joy and pretending like things matter. We are born and then have sex and do the dishes and scroll through our feed endlessly until our inevitable deaths. Nothing matters. Post on DevRant. Or don’t.8
-
Endel, the freemium garbage app for meditation sounds that sells its subscription by telling you to “invest in your happy brain” (despite being FDA approved) and has an unskippable onboarding question on whether you was professionally diagnosed with ADHD, made a collab with Grimes.
Grimes and Elon Musk are X Æ A-Xii Musk’s parents.
So, Grimes recorded an “AI lullaby” supposedly “for her son”, that was really just a paid collab with Endel to sell their garbage app better.
Poor kid wasn’t even born yet, and everything about his life was already commercialised.
Imagine having Elon Musk as your dad. Grimes reported Elon abused her. Among other things, he made her dye her hair white, because Elon prefers blondes. How creepy is that? Now the poor kid with a stupid name made up to keep Elon’s stock bubble afloat will live with divorced parents.
This is capitalism for ya.
14 -
Heard someone say they don't celebrate their birthday nor new years the traditional way. It made me curious, i asked and she said.
"I am born once physically, that is my birthday. Every year there after is my new year and that is when i celebrate my new year or existence"
Very interesting and i can respect that :) soo mamy people with beautiful minds.3 -
I was 4 when I was allowed at school to be on the single computer in reception. It came to break time the teachers just left me on it.
I think that’s because when my brother was kicked off 2 years prior (similar situation) he kicked up the biggest fuss possible so when it came to my first time they just went “nope not touching that”
And then a programmer was born
-
Reinstalled windows.
Now it updates.
Stayed for 10 freakin minutes on "Working on updates. 100% complete. Don't turn off your computer!" and then went back to 0%. FUCK YOU WINDOWS, FUCK ME FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO RUN LOL ON UBUNTU. FUCK FUCK FUCK.3 -
!rant
Yes!!!! My AI has been born tonight...He may not "compete" yet but the foundation and concept is written and sound...now to just fill in the conditions and variables and he's going to be kicking player's butts in no time!2 -
Sorry, but no sorry.
I don't see that it is ok to make stupid of other people. I mean, it is ok for non-IT people/non-specialist/students didn't know that HTML programmer is not a thing or we can't just turn of the problem/bugs if sth gone wrong.
They aren't stupid. They just misinformed. Just smile (or laugh?) and explain to them.
No one is born knowledgeable of everything. We even learn how to walk, how to read, how to program.
By doing mistakes.3 -
13.5 million steps on my little Fitbit Zip named Dino. Long walk last weekend and lost him. Backtracked a mile and found him. So happy. But car had run him over and crushed Dino. So sad.
Carefully operated on him and although his screen (face) was smashed he had one more synch (breath) in him with me holding his little metal prongs.
Gave him a little funeral. He will forever have a cherished spot in my sock drawer.
I went to the Fitbit store and Sally his little sister was born to carry on his legacy. -
Born too early to explore space.
Born too late to explore the Earth.
Born just in time of the housing crisis and the age of renting everything and not owning anything.6 -
When u converted ur codebase to Kotlin all because you heard about it, but really have no idea what Kotlin is!5
-
Challenge questions are so goddamn stupid.
Apparently I have an account with a certain online organization though I don't remember setting it up.
So naturally I had no idea of my username or password, so they asked me challenge questions.
It asked me the city of my birth, which is a place with a weird spelling. Because of that weird spelling, I never remember if I'm spelling it right (I was only there as a newborn infant) And I'm also supposed to remember if I capitalized it or not.
I hate challenge questions. And anyone doing any remotely simple research on me shouldn't have trouble learning what city I was born in so it seems to me it's a security vulnerability, nothing more.
And maybe I'm giving things away by saying it asks me that question, but it's a common security question any hacker would anticipate anyways.3 -
Quote of the day:
Some are born developers, some become developers and other have development thrust upon themselves!1 -
I really miss my company-issued stand-up desk, and actually going to a different facility every morning: both the drive and the office. I also miss being able to go to someone else's desk, or walking right up to a white board to hash something out at a moment's notice.
This is really my first experience working from home at length, save for 3 weeks I had when my son was born (in lieu of a paternity leave). I have to say, I don't particularly care for working remotely. It'd be different I suppose if i was able to be a digital nomad and work from different locations, but being confined to my own four walls blows. I much prefer working in an office with other devs and being able to collaborate face-to-face, without all the damn giphy's in slack.1 -
I hate the feeling when your supposedly crappy company starts feeling heavenly when people looking to join come from *even worse* companies. I mean, I start feeling "how in the actual hell are these companies even alive??!!"
It makes me wonder if I was just born in the wrong country or joined the wrong industry :/4 -
How does it feel attending conferences? (Good ones!)
Here in my country we don't have that many good ones they are all just some show offs talking about how they hacked their way through. But when I see videos for big conferences with thousands of people it makes me feel a bit jealous and sad that I can't attend those where you'll get real achievers (~_~)
Why did I have to be born here like this FUCK 3rd world countries.2 -
i am not a SQL expert, but i can do what i need to do in order to be considered a full stack dev
the syntax i have to learn was deprecated before i was even born -
From the day I was born,
Till the day I'll die!!
Every action that I perform,
Is a party if my sin!!
This may not be story of a Dev,
But this is the story of mine!! -
Whindooz 11 (or whatever the fuck number they're using now. It's still miles better than Mac using stupid fucking names for their browsers like their browsers were something special. The special browswers were installed on machines made by Chinese labour but the woketards conveniently forgot about that fact. Where was I? Oh, yeah, file explorer) file explorer has turned out to be like a child that was OK when it was born but now it's growing up it's turned into a salad bar of personality disorders with a side of snarky Aspie. I don't want help; I just came here to complain. Thank you for taking the time to read this.3
-
Everybody born in 1984 must be a fantastic programmer (including me 😎), because when the year will be a power of 2, their age will also be a power of 2.
2048 = 2^11
2048 - 1984 = 64 = 2^62 -
After a deep day my wife and I came up with our project for steady income to allow me quit work for the first 2 years after the baby is born.3
-
just saw MS' presentation on bing+chatgpt. It could actually lead to something.
If someone could make a kanban-to-slack bot that can answer my Sprint status, it could vastly reduce my time spent answering the same question over and over to different people.
That is yet again AI doing what it was born to do: creative, artistic and engaging personal connections so that humans can focus on tedious calculations and repetitive labour.
If someone could make a bot to answer my emails for me I could spend the whole day without having to interrupt my workflow to interact with a single "professional" human!7 -
Winter is coming :/
8 hours days, you get up and it’s dark, sun is shining when you’re working and when you finish work it’s dark again.
Moreover I have lots of work so I usually only work, eat, sleep, repeat.
I downloaded 10 movies to watch during my working hours, so I don’t get paranoid to much and see some fake people on tv. Well fml, looks like I was born to work till death, might be first karoshi in my country. Found in bed with laptop, opened intellij and terminal, finger on enter button and in the terminal ./deploy.sh pending for new release. Hope everything will clear before new year and I can manage to clear my todo list. It’s last time I’m saying it’s last time I take so much work instead of sorting out my personal life. Well we’ll see…2 -
My dream project is to revamp education, be it through an app of some sort or by any other mean.
Can't justify spending a quarter of your life in a place you usually don't want to be, listening to stuff you can't relate, being taught by people who wasn't born to teach and being tested for things you will never use and couldn't care less.
Come on, there has to be a better way! And this goes beyond online courses.1 -
— prove the god does exist
— prove it doesn't!
— well, the god _did_ exist, when there was no space and no time. I took my heavy masterpiece of a sword, went to meet him and slayed him. What was inside splattered, and this is how the universe was born. I killed him because I _wanted_ to, and I'm living in this time, talking to you because I _want_ to. And I will die because I want to, and will reincarnate if I want to.
— prove it happened!
— prove it didn't.1 -
When you realize you were born when it was 4:04 AM on the clock...
I think I was born to be a programmer... Or maybe not? Am I an error?6 -
Finally gifting my sister, on the occasion of my sisters recently born baby's 21st day..,
My old laptop with Linux installed and with an update to Samsung evo 860 ssd.
She is new to linux, not so new. Hope she will find good stuff to prepare for the next job as she is on maternity leave.1 -
*clears voice*
FUCK EMMC AND 32BIT UEFI WITH A BIG RUSTY POLE.
Wow that helped actually...
Now then... If anyone has any suggestions on how to actually boot Ubuntu after installation on Asus x205ta I will give them my first born son.
😈😈8 -
1. To piss off my dad because he wanted me to study Mechanical Engineering since I was born (Just kidding I love him)
2. To make people think I'm smart
3. To make good money......
* 4. I think CS is an academic field that feels very natural to me compared to other stuff (Biology, Physics, etc.)3 -
I just can't mention one specific thing because I'll forget everything that would be worth a mention in my opinion too, so let's say I'm so fucking glad to be born right when this technologic wave started to grow :)
-
Woke up with this parts song playing in my head though probably the first time in maybe 10 years...
So I googled the part I somehow remembered and got back an exact match and full lyrics... and an MV.
Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) (Official Video)
I start watching the MV....
https://youtu.be/qeMFqkcPYcg
And saw this so I'm like wait how old is this song... Apparently 1983...
I wasnt even born then lol
7 -
The closest thing to cutting edge was probably the first survey project.
We found something named remote scripting in a sub folder in the visual interdev default site.
It was the precursor to ajax, a few years before ajax was born and we used it to interactively call the backend from the page.
Otherwise I have mostly worked on mature projects where cutting edge is mostly avoided. -
i knew i was born to make videogames so i went to find out how they are made and i found they are made by programming, so i knew i need to learn programming.6
-
A place where you can evolve your skills, competitive and that you're respected.
And NO FREAKING CLUELESS PROJECT MANAGERS that do not understand how software is "born" and expect you to catch insane deadlines... -
Keep bugs at bay
We have two of these at entrance of our company.
Little do they no bugs don't enter through entrance, been but are born in our computers.
1 -
Some journaling sorry. But hey I’m extremely drunk. Feel like I don’t care anymore if I die bc I have already lived an experience of being born. Also being raised in a nice childhood. I have nothing to complain about. Just made out with a goth chick. She’s so nice I hope she’s ok. Anymore I don’t care about sex but just crave closeness. Just someone who understands who we can share love with each other without bounds. I be ballin tho. By the end of the day, I hope to own some properties and a business on my own.2
-
> Facebook is shit
> Any tool developed by Facebook is gold (well most of them)
> Paarthurnax once said: "What is better ? To be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"
> Facebook is a dragon2 -
I use Google, stackoverflow, tech documentations to unstuck myself and I'm not afraid to admit it coz ham1
-
So I have a lease car through work, but I forgot my fuel pass one day and I needed to fill up the tank. Then I had to send a letter with the receipt to declare the costs to this address... Wondering how that's gonna go lol
2 -
I'm genuinely contemplating changing my career to an IT support role from my current web dev endeavors.
I have become rather disinterested for quite some time with web development, I've been working with React, Angular, the regular Wordpress stuff with the theme building/modifying, headless instances, plugin development and whatnot and all of these have become more of a chore than anything else.
I'm leaning towards an IT support role as I genuinely have more interest in a user support/infrastructure support role than a developer role, the question is, is it doable ?. I know my way around Windows and Linux Servers, know LDAP, Active Directory, BASH, Powershell, Networking, can do cabling and whatnot but I don't have the experience to show off those.
Any tips would be greatly appreciated3 -
I was born in 94. But my first experience was with a old beige color PC running Windows XP playing pinball 3d with the vortex wall paper and 8 year old me spent time installing rocket dock on it and tried remaking pong.
-
Took my first PTO today since joining the new company to get my wisdom teeth extracted. Already took care of that first thing this morning. Now I actually get to kick back and listen to some records until my new GPU is delivered, and then I get to fuck off the rest of the weekend with new games because my wife says I can't do any yard work this weekend.
Only had the top two extracted because I was born without the bottoms I guess. But less pain on my wallet and my jaw, I'll happily trade in the narcotics they gave me and stick to my scotch.
Not a bad 3 day weekend in my book. Ill have to go back and figure out who/what broke the projection runner in the sandbox environment when I go back, but eh. that's a Monday problem now. 😎4 -
Can’t sleep these days.
Life sucks, death sucks more.
Computers break nowadays
My keyboard is full of dirt ore.
I miss two keys up and down
so looks there is no hell or heaven.
Twitch data leak is downloading slow,
I made buns in the oven.
I’m in the spiral of death,
my born was meaningless,
hot milk is hurting my teeth,
I use it to invoke sleepiness.
Nothing works,
everyone showoff
everything breaks,
I’m powering off3 -
I've been reading about quantum computing in finance and other applications (fascinating read, althought really dense), but one question now won't stop bugging me.
Context:
1) Blockchain applications are based on NP-Hard asymmetric cryptographic problems, and how hard it is to solve such problems in a really short time.
2) So called "Web3.0" is based mostly on Blockchain applications, but would still need significant advances in order to be practical.
3) Affordable and practical cloud-based quantum computing is not so far in the future, and could be used to crack most NP-Hard problems in short (polynomial) time.
Thus, my question: Is Web3.0 obsolete before it even begun?
I mean, if quantum computing takes on fast enough, it could snuff out Blockchain applications by giving those a shelf life so short it wouldn't be worth to delevolp for it. It would be like announcing the iPhone 14 and the 15 on the same breath, saying the 15 is only a quarter away - why would anyone bother with the born-obsolete tech?5 -
This is how it looks like when you are a programmer and you was born in Iran :)
Nobody will be your sponsor for your job applications 😏
6 -
My life changed when I started typing parentheses and curly brackets using both hands.
Left hand for shift and right hand for the actual symbol.
No more wrist pain and it's 100 times faster.
It took me 25 years to make this amazing discovery, why the fuck am I so retarded3 -
Yeah, so when you create an account just about anywhere nowadays, you need to choose a strong password. Fair enough. But then, some sites/services/systems require a second password, sort of a password hint as an extra security for retrieving your first password in case you forget it. Well OK...That hint question just becomes very *in*secure when you must choose from some extremely stupid presets like "In which town were you born?" or "What was your mother's maiden name?", all of which are trivia that for most people can be easily googled, or looked up on facebook ffs. And these "in which town did this or that happen?" questions? As there is only one town in my country it's not a long shot that I was born in Mariehamn, met my partner in Mariehamn and had my first job in Mariehamn. Security questions for imbecils.4
-
today started as a great sunny day. but really my nightmare began a couple of nights ago. i installed gnome on linux by accident, all i wanted to do was create a desktop link to a webapp in my files. Since then, I have been offered updates by ubuntu. well today i couldnt pass up the offer. and after the update my broadcom driver stopped working. has anyone dealt with the bullshit that is broadcom on linux?! i wanted to reset the connection so i click to stop using the driver. window comes up says its out of date. now the driver has completely disappeared! wtf!!! now i need a dark wizard and to sacrifize my first born to get internet on my baby back.... fuuuuuuuu
plz help if you know..
stuck at work so wont be able to try till tonight. anxiety is real6 -
Alright folks it’s the first, you know what that means. No Nut November has officially started. Make sure to read the rules properly. I have a few passes already from earlier this year and bc I was born in November, but I don’t plan to use them. Good luck.4
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I was signing up for a new account on Magic. I wasn't paying attention so I accidentally didn't change my date of birth, so it didn't let me create an account because they thought I was just born today. I changed that field but nope, it remembered I had told it I was 1 day old and it didn't let me change my mind. Delete cookies, nothing. Reload page, nothing. So I go into Postman and re-create the request and BOOM! I even got an access token for their API. This is why I love being a dev.
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As a techie how loves the climate, I feel like I am living two life's. On one hand, I want to protect my earth, but than I make a app, and Evan though I buy offsets, what about all of the users. Why was I born this way, and can the natural and the man-made coexist? That is the question I must ask myself all day. I am looking to drone powered climate research in a effort to prove to my self they benefit each other, but I just can't. I fucking hate my life rn2
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When everything is taken away from you, and this might not happen for a very long time, just remember that you surrendered every ounce of control of your life over to those whom have been out to fuck you over since before you were born.1
-
I often read rants, and I can see how everyone gives for granted that we have to overwork, work until night, work on weekend, work when the boss asks us, read the email, work until you fixed that bug, and so on. I mean, I don't see anyone ranting about this, I just see that this became the background of other rants, something that's so normal and we are so accustomed that we don't even consider it a problem anymore. I was wondering, is it just me that gives value to his own free time? That would rather read a book, watch tv or stay with friends? Or at least being able to tell a friend "we'll meet for dinner" without the fear of a problem blocking you at your job. Why should I be paid less than average in my country and work more, making the benefits still less concrete? I think I have a good brain and I chose this career because I love it, but if I could born again I'd be a doctor or a teacher3
-
So I'm new to NestJS, Node, etc. and I just noticed that the guy working on the API made every request call a different service class, instead of using a single service class. For example.
get() {
return await this.getObj.run()
}
post(myDto){
return await this.storeObj.run()
}
update(myDtoUpdate){
return await this.updateObj.run()
}
And I'm not sure why. He's also injecting the request into those classes, instead of passing the DTO to the method call. I mean, it's still injecting the data into it I guess, but it seems so roundabout. Something like this:
public constructor(
@Inject(REQUEST) private request: Request,
){}
I'm scared, but I'm not sure if it's just my own ignorance or a sixth sense telling me that this is gonna be a mess.
Have you seen APIs implemented this way? I can see the benefit of dividing the code into smaller classes, but it just seems overkill to me, specially when there's a big chance that code will be repeated (getting an entity by ID when updating it, for example).
I'm still in time to kill this with fire before a new monster is born though, so that's something.1 -
I can promise you all this... Artificial Intelligence’ silicone valley... will not be in California, the industry will be in west Michigan... instead of the and valleys beaches of California it will be the hills and lake shores of Lake Michigan... true artificial intelligence of the movies will be “born” there. The liberal developers and hipster coders can stay out in California.. while the rest of us will be over her in Michigan. I promise you this will happen, give it 10 years8
-
He's just some Forex trader with no clear major
Call him the savior like born in a manger
Hit me on my pager, get back to you later
Handcannon, pockmarks, face full of craters
What's a man to do in a world like this?
Live my whole life to get burnt to a crisp
They open their mouth to regurgitate shit
With some coins in my fist, a .45 on my hip
cult rap hits different -
man that whole lua shit from neovim really went overboard
like seriously, that shit used to be for msgpack/RPC and they've literary made it default then built-in and now the whole fucking remote protocol's silently rotting 🪰 away...
A software fuckup so massive the fucking editor now needs 2 running instances so their "lua kink" can keep going.
No wonder fucking denops was born
----
only thing keeping me there's tree sitter but once that gets inside vim/vim it's byebye fuckers2 -
Transference of Consciousness
We take ideas or concepts born from abstract thoughts and turn them into working machinery run by an electronic cog. Literally pulling thought from the mind and putting it into action and bringing life into inanimate objects. The life may not 'yet' be self aware or conscious itself. So is programming a desire to impart our will or life to an otherwise inert object? Is this desire intrinsic to our own essence? Was this desire born of the desire our own creator had when making us? I use the term creator very loosely here, btw. It could be a god, the universe itself, aliens, etc.2 -
Its so cool having your parents exactly like you( i know its the other way around but... yeah :D) :
1 pm in the afternoon
National holiday
People celebrating the nonsense with colors and balloons outside.
my mom sleeping in her room.
my dad sleeping on sofa.
me sleeping/coding on bed in my room.
...
Good life!
(guess my whole family is born from hibernating ancestors xD) -
don't you just love it when you have to fix a system that consists on unnecessary junk code, horrible/lack of indentation, no documentation and the clients says "I don't know what happened fix it and I'll post you good"
I mean, I live for this shit man! -
So I am gonna build a bashrc from scratch again.
There is just one thing messes me right now:
I don't know how to avoid the bug(?) described at the bottom.
Last time when I made one, used a line break, but whenever I went back in the command history and there is a long command (chain) it just messes up whole PS1 by getting inside, pressing backspace furiously to get the start of the command (mostly eating half of the PS1) and an up and a down to get back to command and see it properly.
Any good ideas to destroy that bug while it isn't born yet?1 -
I have always thought that lazy people make the best developers. If something is too routine/type consuming/redundant, create a program/function/app that takes care of that.
Share your favorite born-out-of-laziness story.1 -
You know there's something seriously wrong with a "framework" when it takes 20 minutes to figure out how to SHIFT A BUTTON INSIDE A HEADER.
Fuck you jQuery Mobile. I wish you had never been born.
:|3 -
The Tao of programming
1.1
Something mysterious is formed, born in the silent void. waiting alone and unmoving, it is at once still and yet in constant motion. It is the source of all programs. I do not know its name, so I will call it the Tao of Programming.
If the Tao is great, then the operating system is great.
If the operating system is great, then the compiler is great.
If the compiler is great, then the application is great.
The user is pleased, and there is harmony in the world.
The Tao of Programming flows far away and returns on the wind of morning.
http://www.mit.edu/~xela/tao.html -
Happy Engineers' Day to all engineers here!
Sir M. Visvesvaraya, one of the greatest engineers of all time, was born this day in 1861. His contributions to the society through engineering is priceless. We celebrate his birthday as engineers' day here in India. -
Serious question. When was the time you actually said "Do you really think I was born yesterday?" to someone you work with and for what reason?4
-
!Rant
A question/survey for the community.
I'm a junior web developer who has the bug for traveling. I want to work in different countries and move around a lot. How could I make that work? I'm US born without a dime of debt and a wanderer's soul. Do I just simply apply to jobs in different countries? Do I do this until I can safely freelance? Thoughts? Help? Ideas? -
Managers born out of 7 generations of incests will gather the team and instruct all of them to comment down migrations and never write them again.
-
Those who are Software Engineers in the Bay Area or other places with high cost of living (COL), do you think living in that area is worth it? Or would you rather work remote somewhere that's cheaper even if that means taking a slight pay cut?
I was born and raised in the Bay Area and want to own a home. The Peninsula is just so fucking expensive. No way I want to shell out 500k for a condo with a $500 a month HOA fee. What gives? I'm not looking to make money on a home I'm looking to have a place I can call my own.1
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