My conversation with my wife today, while I was at work:

Wife: The wifi isn't working.
Me: What's it doing?
W: Not working
Me: Try turning it off an on again.
.
.
.
Me: Is your phone on LTE? Or is it connected to wifi and the internet isn't working?
W: LTE. Aubrey (my wife's sister) said she turned it off and nothing happened.
Me: did she turn it back on?
W: Do you really want me to answer that?
Me: Just making sure. What lights are on on the router?
W: (Sends me a picture of the router with no lights on)
Me:...
W: Oh it isn't even plugged in
Me:...
W (after a couple minutes): Its working now!

YES I REALLY WANT YOU TO ANSWER IF YOU TURNED IT BACK ON!

Client: "This has been broken for weeks! Why is it still broken!?!?"

Me: "Did you tell anyone it was broken?"

Client: "Well...um...no..."

I may be good at my job, but I have not been able to (nor do I want to) develop mind-reading abilities. Now please fuck off (so that I can go fix it).

Designer: can we put the popup at the top of the screen?

Me: You mean op top of the navigation?

Designer: Yeah.

Me: I sure can. Would be stupid to block off the site navigation with a popup, but definately possible.

Designer: Cool, let me know when done!

Me: ....

Me: I am done.

Designer: Well now I can't click on the navigation anymore.

Me: That's correct. Let me know when you want to change it again.

Please kindly fuck off. I don't need your genderbiased bullshit. I couldn't care less about a programmer's gender.
I'm also aware about the margin between the numbers of female and male dev who want to study CS, but if you seriously think that a learning algorithm is biased on gender and ethnic it's creator, I will have to kindly remind you that math doesn't support an output based on your gender.

Now please get the fuck off my sacred newsfeed...

"You make websites?! I need a website! For a great client like me, it would look great on your portfolio! So you wouldn't want money right?!"

Yeah mate, cause communism won the war and I can live off kindness, puppies, and rainbows.

84 hours. Took alot of coffee and adderall. Had 5 projects with reasonable deadlines until mother fucking hurricane Katrina decided it wanted to be the best cocksucking blowing bitch around and knocked power out for two weeks. I managed to get 3 projects finished before i passed out for a day but two clients got pissed off cause their projects were late. They were pissed off even more when i had to pull the Forced Majeure clause cause they wanted to be bitches and didn't want to pay for my work

TL;DR: Hurricane didn't kill me so deadlines tried

Dev: Hey, do we have a Google cloud machine running?
Me: No we have AWS remember?

Dev: Okay..
Me: Why do you want a gCloud?

Dev: I had this large stack of files and want to put them somewhere, off of my laptop. I just feel comfortable using Google than AWS.
Me: Umm.. there is Dropbox for that sort of stuff. Not high performance servers running our services.

Dev: ...
Dev: (After a moment) Yeah, why didn't I think of that? :/

Me: Seriously???

I think he forgot to have breakfast today.

FUCK OFF WINDOWS. I NEED TO WORK BECAUSE MY DEADLINE IS COMING BUT NO, THE FUCKING WINDOWS DECIDED TO FUCKING UPDATE. I DON'T WANT AN UPDATE RIGHT NOW, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SOFTWARE. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 1 HOUR TO GET TO 35%. 🖕🖕🖕🖕

On my third high school CS lesson. I had corrected the teacher about 6 times and wouldn't shut up about Linux.
He walked to my station, saw that I was live booting off my phone with SSH sessions to 2 servers I was managing.
He instantly gave me an A for the entire semester and told me I can do whatever I want, as long as I shut up.

Alright, I just wanna start off by saying that I'm a huge privacy guy. I hate all kinds of data collection companies like Google/Facebook/Amazon and all that. Yet I'm forced to have a Google account for certain reasons.

But the thing that I want to say is that I often talk to people to express my concerns about privacy. And most people agree and say that "yeah sure that's some scary shit" but don't actually do much about it.

And the thing is. If you just browse through all of the options in your Google account. You can turn off and remove almost all data collection/ad serving and identification options entirely.

And yet purple complain about that Google sees what you buy and shit. Turn everything off. Get and adblocker and get noscript. The single best browser add-on out there. It's almost that easy to get at least acceptable amounts of Internet privacy.

Please, don't ever ignore the significance of in Internet privacy. And the potential issue of net neutrality. Don't be ignorant. Don't be the client.

Real analog advertising for DuckDuckGo.
I have been a little bit surprised by that!

The text is:
"You want the same internet but with more privacy?
Leave it to us."

Could be because the advertising spaces became rather cheap after the Corona slowdown, or DDG really takes off now.

"I want my API to return insults as error messages if they forget shit"

Uh no, I prefer helping them out by writing proper documentation than sending a giftbox with me flipping them off like Linus Fucking Torvalds for their spaghetti usage of your API

Moved out a few months ago. Love my setup. Dual monitor at desk and a big ass TV + laptop for when I want the couch. Coffee to top it off.

So I got a call from a recruiter this morning, about a job for a C++ developer what experience developing for embedded systems.

He sent my resume off to the company and they actually want an in person interview the same day.

I'm going to this interview in 2 hours, I'm really nervous, I haven't had an interview in years...

Wish me luck!

I hate it when people don't want to work for themselves and when I share something for their knowledge

"Wow what pro", "Dude you're so smart" etc in a sarcastic manner.

Dude wtf, you don't want to improve yourself then fuck off. You're there because of yourself not because I fucked it up for you.

You reap what you sow and i don't need people discrediting my effort to get to where I am today. I get it, I'm not even what you would call "pro", So what shitface?! I wanna be there someday. If you don't then just die. I don't need people like you in my life 😬😬😬

A recruiter asks for my LinkedIn credentials to save me from the hassle of updating my profile.
Is this the new 'send me your cv in .doc format so I can write whatever I want in there'?
I'm not even looking for a job and I don't know who you are! Fuck off!

It's weird reading about everyone bitching about their PM / manager, and I'm here and have the best boss anyone can ask for. I work from home whenever I want, if I work extra I can always take that extra time off. If I work weekends I get 100% overtime pay. If I want to learn new tech for a project he tells me to go nuts.

What I'm really trying to say here is.. in all yo faces I guess. \o/

When you watch Mr.Robot with your friends ... Once, he saw me using a terminal :
"hey dude, i have a Facebook account that i want you to hack"

Me :
"It's just zsh fuck off ..."

Sometimes.....

When I want to escape how dull/repetitive/boring the world of web development is. I crack open a nice lil terminal, dust off my gcc/g++ compilers and fuck around in C or C++ till my eyes start to bleed.

I have been fucking around with systems development. Mainly with Linux programming. I have also started to get deeper on game engine design and compiler design....because low level development is where its at.

A man can only fuck around rest apis, css and html and the endless sea of Javascript and other dynamic languages for so long before going crazy.

Eventually.....I would want to code something impressive enough to give me a spot somewhere as a C or C++ developer. I just can't work with web development any longer man. It really is not what I want to do, the fact that I do it(and that I am good at it) is circumstantial more than because I really enjoy it. I really don't

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Had a recruiter contact me at home on my day off.

Recruiter: We have a company that would be interested in hiring a C# developer because of your programming skillset.

Me: Does it involve ASP.NET?

Recruiter: Yes.

Me: I apologize, but I don't have any skills in ASP.NET. I've been instead focusing on building my skillset with Java Spring/Hibernate and soon JavaScript to start building front end skills with my backend skillset.

Recruiter: Oh, is Java an in demand skill that companies want?

....Why are you talking to me mate? Take off your headset, go home, and rethink your life choices.

Group projects in computer science usually go like this for me:

Me: Want to be in a Group?

Group member: sure

Me: okay, we can discuss the project and start coding some stuff tomorrow

Group member: I don't have a laptop, won't get one till two weeks

Me: -_-

Also me: fuck off

Am I the only one who hates in app browsers? I fucking hate them. If I want to look at something later, I like to click the link, then close chrome. I'll have the tab to return to it later. But these shitty in app browsers that you can't turn off makes that a pain in the ass.

!rant

I just switched jobs, so there are no vacation days for me, besides the usual.

PM: "Are you returning for work on January 2nd?"

Me: "Yeah, but I'm kinda new at the company here, so I'll be available 26-28 if you want to reach me"

PM: "Screw those days. Nobody will be here anyways, you can take those off for me."

Me: "(cries in Spanish)"

Seriously, YouTube: fuck off

Just because i don't want to update an app with shady permission requests, I now have to wait 30 seconds EVERY TIME I WANT TO USE IT

Today I'm going to work on my side project that I haven't touched in weeks.

I want to utilize Angular 2 which means I'll need to learn TypeScript. I also want to use the new .Net Core and EF Core 1.0. Oh and I want to handle authentication using JWT!

Wow, that's gonna be a lot of effort to get things off the ground... maybe instead I'll use this time to learn some new concepts. Maybe watch this episode of Fun Fun Function, or maybe this video on writing Assembly code for an app on Raspberry Pi, that sounds cool!

Actually, you know I should really teach myself dependency injection and unit testing for once. I'm so behind the times.

Well, really I should finish this book on design patterns first. Ok, where did I leave off? Page 20 I think... ehh... maybe I'll just work on my side project.

Tomorrow... tomorrow, I'll work on my side project.

I’m the embodiment of lazy...

I had turned on the TV in the living room earlier and put on sesame st. for my daughter to watch.

Some time passes, I’m trying to work in the back bedroom, have daughter in my arms and she’s falling asleep. I forgot to turn off the TV in the front room.

Didn’t want to get up from my desk so I just wrote up a powershell script to connect to the computer plugged into the TV and kill chrome. (The Computer sleeps after 10 minutes, and the TV shuts off after 10 more minutes of no display signal).

Script was successful as I heard Elmo laughing, then suddenly all was quiet 🤫

Client : hey why does your app minimize once I receive a call? Fix this ASAP! Also why does it show *that*? I have not turned anything on!

Me : Sorry, not possible (explains), you might want to contact Google (for the lolz). Also, the feature is shown by default, you can turn it off via Menu - Settings - Navigation - xxx.

Client : Can you make the incoming call popup smaller when using your app?

Me : Unfortunately no, that's not something I can do. Contact LG.

Client : I have been to Menu - Settings - Map - XXX and the feature is still shown, why does your software not work? Also *this and that* is not shown anymore!

Me : You turned off the wrong thing... *jumps out of the window* *contemplates life* *cries* *dies*

You know what REALLY PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF? Two pupils in my school won a local IT award FOR CODING A FUCKING PHP VOTING SITE WHICH DESIGN WAS SO FUCKING UGLY I WANT TO VOMIT. THE SITE IS SO FUCKING SHIT THAT YOU CAN VOTE AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT AND THERE ARE NO IPS LOGGED TO PREVENT IT. WHAT THE FUCK. THE QUESTIONS ARE FUCKING HARDCODED AND THE RESULT NUMBERS ARE STORED IN A TXT FILE THAT IS ACCESSIBLE WITH THE RIGHT URL

Drunken neighbor: Did i piss you?
I: No.
Drunken neighbor: I know i do, but i want a girl. This is my problem.
I: Go find her.
Drunken neighbor: I can't, i'm black.
I: It's not the reason.
Drunken neighbor: It is.
I: Reason si you are dirty, drunken pig.
Drunken neighbor: You are racist!
I: Och, sorry, i forgot. You are dirty, drunken, black pig. One more time you will wake us at 3am i'll call ku klux klan on you so my girlfriend can sleep at night. Now fuck off and let us sleep.

Happy new year.

"Create an account now to watch these courses for free (don't worry, we hate spam as much as you do)"

Well that's a fucking lie. This woman named Christy is abusing MailChimp vigorously.

Fuck off marketing with your disingenuous "community update" mails, "what you missed last week" newsletters and "handpicked crap for you" notifications.

I want to use your platform, I even pay for it, but I don't want to get your useless mail until I found the energy to dig through your config panel looking for some half broken toggle button.

It's only day one of the year and I'm already pissed right off

Why the fuck do all clients expect you to come up with absolutely everything!?

All I ever get is we want a website. I ask well what do you want on it.. our products .. news? Contact maybe ... Urm our business information ... That kind of stuff.

Well what are they?

Pft.. I here is a name if our products. And other stuff

WE ARE SELLING IT WAT ARE THE PRICES AND INFORMATION DO YOU HAVE IMAGES

Yeah do you want them

Of course I do 😐

Great here's 2 of them we have 1100 so I'll get more to you soon.

😤 Thank you!

Holy shit it's always like talking to a fucking brick wall.. why do people have to make our jobs so hard it's already fucking tough

I have no time to plan your entire website by myself I don't know what you want on it. How could I possibly know that!? It's your fucking site

Cool, I found a bug in Ruby!
And it’s preventing my debugging from working!
Asjfkladfsj

It’s 2:30am and I want to finish this crap.

No, I’m not doing any work tomorrow. I’m taking the day off to sleep.

Want a backend in Node? You got it. PhP using the plethora of frameworks available? No problem.

Feeling like a gipsy guitarrist and want to lay it down with Django? Good taste!

In a hurry and need your startup off the ground with React integration in rails? Piece of cake.

Feeling springy and want you some coffee and Java with your app? A la carte.
Wanna pull my leg and force me to do .net? Mm ok if you insist.

You sure you want Perl with that? Ok no problem.

.....but you sit me and my awesome powers of backend mastery and force me to do css and design all week and you literally destroy my soul......this shit is soul crushing I swear.....

@mr “i can’t run a terminal on a iPhone” and deletes the rant.

I am getting sick and Fucking tired of the bullshit some android fanboys believe apple iPhones are Incapable off.

You may want to go educate your fucking self!

I started writing a rant about my boss a while ago.

Never sent it.

Woke up to signal messages from her to our core team signal group that she’s been let go.

Starting to think maybe there is a god, because she was really pissing me off and micromanaging and making me want to quit my awesome job.

Also the new boss doesn’t want to bother making a job description for me but instead wants me to let him know what path I want to take, which certifications , etc.

Also got a maxed out m3 MacBook Pro today. The sleek black edition. My team is going to get our Dowding team logo etched into it.

Today was better than Christmas. Almost best day of my life.

Dear Tech-News Outlets,

Yes, I accept 30994 cookies and do not want to uncheck them one by one.
No, I don't want to subscribe to a newsletter full of content completely unknown to me - maybe let me stroll around a bit before asking me? But please don't ask me in the middle of reading the shitty article. Maybe make use of a so-called "sidebar" for shit like that?
Yes, I want to continue without turning off my adblock.
No thanks, I know how to turn it off, I'm going to remove this overlay now via devtools, alright?

Yours
An annoyed user

Yay, it's Monday!
And as Monday's go, there's a prod deployment, cool beans! 30 min later it's done!

So why the rant?

Because I'm on FUCKING ANNUAL LEAVE YOU BITCHES!!!!!

Fuck it, it's done, I'm going back to bed.

Google can you fucking not just kill off random projects that still have a very active userbase!!!
I know you want to merge the play music streaming with youtube music. But that is no reason to kill off the default music player on Android. Cause, y'know, A FUCKTONNE OF PPL STILL USE OFFLINE MUSIC!!!!
And to add more insult to this, Play Music is a default app on pretty much all Android phones. This means it cannot be uninstalled at all. (Unless you root) So thanks for the waste of space!!!

!rant

I got a promotion at work!

Is it weird that I don't want it because I still feel like I have too much to learn to no longer be a "junior"? I'm happy that my hard work is paying off but I'm worried that this is how bad senior devs are made.

Bought myself a Samsung s3 and while choosing what apps I want to receive notifications from, I noticed everything was off by one.

We all work on the same room: Devs and testers.
In order to communicate with each other without taking off our earphones, we use the chat app.
Ok, sometimes the chat app has delay sending messages.

I really, really hate when one of the testers comes to my desk without telling me he's coming to my desk! >:v and this is the reason why I hate it so much: I'm concentrate in my code, listening to ASP or SPA and, suddenly, I feel a heavy presence behind my monitors. I look up and I see a very penetrating gaze from the corpulent tester looking at me (he's tall). Every time he does that I almost have a heart attack D:

"There's a bug I want you to check" he says.
And I check my chat app if there's a delayed message from him. Nothing, NOTHING >:v

Always, when I want to go to his desk, I send him a message

"Is it ok if I go to your desk?" and he says me "You don't have to ask for it, just come here" but the thing is that I do that because I expect him to do the same :/

Fortunately this doesn't happen every day, but it pisses me off, and I don't know how to tell him to stop doing that because I don't want to be like a... jerk? intolerant? I don't know

A web developer has started working on my windows.

How should I communicate with it that I don't want a website outside my windows? Will this be considered a covid layoff if I just throw it off the said window? 🤔

P. S. I'm talking about a spider, icymi.

Fuck these google home ads, keep triggering my google home in the kitchen. I just want to watch youtube while cooking not "ok google, going go bed" and then TURN OFF All MY FUCKING LIGHTS.

Fuck these stupid frustrating trends. It drives me fucking crazy. Scrolling a website and sections overlap each other, text flying in as you scroll, stuff fading in, images moving over text panels. FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!! I want to read the content, I don't want to feel sick and confused. Clients - DO NOT SEND ME A LINK TO THIS KIND OF WORTHLESS SHIT, SAYING 'I WANT IT LIKE THIS'.
Used sparingly and intelligently, animation can add to the UX, but it rarely is.
Remember the 90's when lazy designers used the photoshop bevel and emboss filter on every fucking thing, the web was contaminated. Cunts.

I just read the rant: "I use base64 to encrypt my passwords". Found it hilarious!

But I can't believe the amount of people taking it seriously in the comments section! I see just one of these possible explanations.

A) They want to show off
B) They are unable to detect sarcasm
C) They have mastered trolling and I'm stupid

In case it's C, wouldn't this rant be considered as reverse trolling? 😎

Another smartass! Here we go!

Look, I'm an idiot and I'm absolutely aware of it. But you don't get to give an opinion without having the knowledge or skills. I may be young-ish and stupid, but that doesn't mean you're right, or that you know better than me ffs. If I'm down to earth, that doesn't mean you're above me. If you want my respect, then behave yourself. Just because you think you've "schooled me"...doesn't mean you did.

... Aaaaaand those are stuff I'll never say in real life. Gah. I can't lecture people I don't care about, but some do piss me off regardless. And what is with this sharp increase of people pissing me off these day? 🤔 🤔 🤔

Woke up from my sleep last night because the solution for a long running bug hit me. In a hurry I ran to my work-desk not too far from the bed and flipped open my laptop so hard I broke the screen.

I’ve sent the laptop for repair but my night was so long I didn’t want to get off because previously I only had one problem but then it doubled.

I got my first offer letter and they gave me more than my asking salary. I have been waiting for a year and half for this moment. Nothing can kill this feeling. I have been doing jobs I hate for my whole life. And finally I am able to do what I want and kick off my career. This is awesome.

Dearest Spotify,

I do NOT like podcasts, I do NOT listen to them, I do NOT want to, I do NOT want them as a non-dismissible FUCKING banner PERPETUALLY AT THE TOP OF MY HOME FUCKING SCREEN

IN F R O N T OF THE FUCKING MUSIC?!?!?!

AND I DEFINITELY D O N OOO T WANT your SHITTY RECOMMENDATIONS to have PORNOGRAPHIC IMAGES AND THEMES when I often have the Spotify homepage open on my DESKTOP I don't want to explain that to people who happen to glance at my FUCKING screen.

Holy fucking shit just give me music recommendations and FUCK OFF.

I hate coffee machines that give you a predefined amount.

I hate coffee machines that don't have enough clearance to fill a big size mug.

I hate weird coffee flavors.

I hate foamy coffee.

I just want plain old drip coffee that I can get enough off without being a hassle in the morning.

There, off my chest.

Hardest part about studying for itil is idgaff. I want to start CISSP and CCNA. Also, someone is in "my" spot in the library, so I'm thrown off

Those managers who think that Microsoft is the only platform and believe that Linux is insecure - fuck off. I don't want to use azure, you ass.

!dev && rant

> be me
> headphones on
> hands packed with shopping bags

Some old bitch neighbor that I can't stand: oh hi!

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING ME TAKE OFF MY HEADPHONES FOR!?

Seriously. When someone has his hands stuffed with groceries and has headphones on, maybe they don't want to stop, put their bags down, take their headphones off and say no more than another hi. Like not even anything else, just hi and walk away! What's the fucking point!? Making me pause and waste time just for the hell of it? Thank you old bitch.

Client: I want it to be a black color.
Me: but this is black
Client: Not this black, I want the kind of black you see when I turn off my TV
Me: :/

This one time at an internship I was getting flamed for not 'coding' valid html5 (me being a backend dude) after some painful hours it was html5 valid... Only to then get flamed on for the text being one pixel off or something... I mean if you want a front end intern then don't look and hire a backend

I can't deal with another week of this.

Just came out of a car crash of a meeting, client expected a finished product, ready to sign off, but got a product that has so far to go.

I am a junior developer, paid junior salary, 1 and a bit years out of uni, and I am basically "lead" of a project that is way above my level of pay, I have been for a year (yes so fresh out of uni I was given this). Clients basically want out now, they reckon it's going to die. We have another week to push it, I have pulled 12 hour days without overtime. We have one other developer outsourced, plus a part time front end guy (who I trained).

I want out so bad, but if I walk, my company will be screwed and their company will be screwed.

Morally, I don't want to do that. But I can't see this ending well.

Fuck it.

Real question tho. How do y'all actually put stickers directly on your laptop??
Like. For me that's some serious level of commitment. I always want to but I worry I'll hate it eventually and removing it would suck and scar

I can't even put stickers on the cases 😭😭 but like. Seeing a fresh new looking body when you take everything off is always soo soothing to me

Me trying to take a screenshot with iOS 12:

*holds home and presses lock* (the only way I had found to reliably take a screenshot in previous versions): Siri

Fuck off Siri I want a screenshot!

*tries again same way*: Siri

Fuck OFF Siri!

*holds lock + home*: phone locks

Christ almighty.

*unlocks phone, presses home and lock at the exact same time*

Nothing happens.

*continues holding* I just want my fucking screenshot.

Phone powers off. Hard reset.

Fuck this shit.

How hard is it to monitor two buttons being pressed at the same time? And if it is so damn hard why make it the ONLY WAY TO TAKE A SCREENSHOT??!

Now whenever I want a screenshot it’s basically a crapshoot whether I will get a screenshot, Siri barging in, or my phone locking on me.

Couldn’t they have just used the volume buttons instead? 😡

Some people want to watch the world burn.

Me, i want to add the line ".gitignore" to .gitignore, force push it and fuck off to holidays with a phone turned off.

Had a conversation with the client , idiot was asking what will happen to the Android application.If he clicks the power off button.

I fuxking want to killl myself -_-

To any and all family members, before requesting my help with the printer/computer/electronic device follow these steps to make sure I don't get irritated.

1. Make sure it's plugged in.
2. Turn it off then back on
3. Turn it off, unplug it for around 30s, turn it back on.
4. Request help

Why is this so hard to grasp? I don't want to stop my workflow with an issue that could be resolved in less than a minute!

This is gonna be depressing. You have been warned.

I am getting sick of people, moreso than I usually would. It's getting to the point where I'm feeling like I want complete isolation from people. Why do people get pissed at me then not tell me what I did wrong? How the fuck am I supposed to fix it?

One of my friends, S, has a lot of issues, and I've been friends with her for many years. I try to help her as much as I can because I actually care, but she rarely responds to any texts and disappears for days at a time. Then she comes back and says I worry too much and plays it off like it was nothing. Wtf?!

I give everyone hugs. If you want a hug, you'll get one from me no questions asked. I do this because I'm actually incredibly depressed and the hugs help me feel less lonely. I'm getting tired of caring so much for everyone else and having nobody actually care about me. S says that I care so much BECAUSE I don't want anyone else to feel that way, but it hurts like hell when I'm the only one who cares.

I don't care what people think about me in a sense that if they have a problem, fuck off. I do, however care that nobody seems to actually CARE. I HATE THIS SHIT. I'm getting to that point where I don't want to die, I just don't want to exist like this. Fuck everything at this point. Nobody ever responds to texts, they get pissed for no reason, just fuck it.

Guess who got fucking fired. They want someone more experienced. Well fuck off. Its no wonder why there are no front end developers in your company. Now until the end of this month I have to find some job because of bills.. Going to try freelancer and check a couple of companies in my area. Any tips on how to get a freelance job?

Fuck GoDaddy man... Paid extra for the privacy feature thinking I wouldn't get harassed by phone. Think again! Got tons of calls from India in two days. What a rip off...

I guess they're selling our info or something...

What service do you guys use? I want to move my domains, any recommendation?

After a long day of wrestling with some bad code and getting it to 'work' leaves me feeling dev angst. Then on my way home I see some minor bug in a phone app I'm using and I think to myself, "MY GOD.. all software is made out of SUFFERING."

Behind every tiny defect out there lays some poor soul's looong hours of overtime, stress, tears, alcoholism, and stale popcorn dinners.

What sucks most about smartphones is how much everyone came to rely on them and expect you to have one which is turned on and working. Rent a bike? Need an app! Log in somewhere? Need 2FA. I just want to leave my phone turned off for a few days like in the good old days. There must be something wrong with the way we live.

Ever have those fucking days where you want to “chair-to-face” every should-have-been condom baby that crosses your path?

Fuck I want to get off this roller coaster ride already... Only a few more months.

Get the fuck out of my way, Martha... Your mother should have swallowed.

Took a couple of days off last week and was at home for 4 days straight.

I picked 2.7kg of mulberries and made jam.

I don’t want to sit in front of a screen now 😭

Guys I know a programmer is never judged by the OS he uses, but fuck me I want to bite off my fingernails when installing windows...(never touched anything but unix for the last 5 years) :(

yo what the fuck fckk off android this song has more than 50 chars and i want to name it by full name and now what do i do ?

Damnit! Every time! Our UI Dev asks us to change the API every time he wants something different!

The API is backend -> business logic. You don't change your business according to what fucking color you want on your site!

Sad part is since he's senior I don't want to tell him off

I am tired of my idiot ‘friends’ asking me if I can hack Facebook Instagram etc. because some other idiot made them mad. Like fuck no. 1 it’s unethical as hell 2 it’s illegal I don’t want to go to jail. 3 I’m learning cyber security NOT hack stuff because someone hurt your useless feelings.

Ohhh and they always get pissed off when I explain everything wrong with their idiotic request

Site usage has dropped off a cliff since this started, I'm seeing comments every other day about something else breaking, or which devRant alternatives is best. Seen as I'm never going to have enough ++ I've had to resort to inspecting the avatar builder and fiddling around with the image source to add all the stuff I want.
Also, why is there no tabby coloured cat option?

"I made a PWA, I'm a mobile app developer"
Me: No fuck off, you're a lazy cunt that doesn't want to learn native development.

People think I don't get angry easily at office. I just don't want to get angry, at least in real world.

My mind is constantly clouded with "throwing things away, smashing my computer to crumbs, telling people to go die, fuck off, punching faces, kicking butts, committing murders and nuking the whole world".

FUUUUuuuuuuu....
No, just no! I said I don't want you restart right now! Or ever! Dafaq duuude!? I thought we had a deal?! You don't update, I don't rant about you!? Well fuck you too!! Deal's off! I hate you, Loki, I hate you!! Stop restarting & updating when I'm tryin to relax & watch series!!

Dear YouTube,
If you want me to fucking watch your fucking same ad every fucking 2 minutes, I will fucking fuck watch those fucking ads on my fucking TV.

Fed up. Moving to YouTube magisk ad-free module. Fuck off YouTube. Recently you became to greedy.

Fuck off.

I've had it with these automatic updates that I didn't ask for, especially when I'm trying to switch my machine off!
How about asking me first if I want that damn update?
Why do they have to be shoved down my throat?!

That's it! I'm switching my OS!

!rant
If you don't even know what MySQL is, fuck off and let me do my job. Don't insist that you can't find the solution to the problem. That's why I'm here. Your incompetence and persistence are slowing me down and if you really want your stuff to be done on time, don't even dip your fingers into my codes. I know you may think that I need help, but your help is useless if you have zero knowledge and can't even understand the solutions given in stack overflow. I'm fine doing this on my own, so fuck off. Just. fuck. off.

A manager who asked me to research and produce documentation on findings on a new system upgrade we could apply. Report on the risks, the amount of resource and time that would be needed etc. And the benefits of upgrading. Then after recieving the documentation and taking 1 month to read it, refused to make any form of decision without asking managers 2 levels above them who respond with "It is your decision". Then deciding it's best not to upgrade at this time. Okay, no probs.

6. Months. Later. That thing I said I didn't want you to do? I want you to do it now, could you get that done by the end of the week seeing as you have done the research already? Oh yeah and I will be off for the next two weeks as I am off on a ski holiday, so good luck with that.

*Dont you want to become a professional python dev?“ Take this course on udemy.

DONT YOU WANT TO SHUT UP AND SHOW ME AT LEAST ADS THAT ARENT PISSING ME OFF THAT MUCH? I learn where else because these tutorials are the biggest bs on the planet.

What if - when you want to switch off the light or anything, you are supposed to get electrocuted and die.

But instead, your consciousness switched to an alternate reality and live, and you wouldn't notice.

Jeez..I need to stop watching scifi. I wont look at switched the same again.

balancing school work between life and sport and programming is so hard. i mean, school is complete bs. what’s the point?

ffs it’s not *just* that im never gonna use the shit im taught, but that if it dont learn it, im punished. even in some classes (code.org), information that we’re taught is blatantly incorrect. either way, being able to find the foci or an ellipse and the latus rectum (hehe) of a hyperbola isnt going to make it easier when i get my job and just adjust css to my bosses’s specifications. i maintain a 4.0, and i fucking hate it. my friends are working hard, and getting into mit for racial diversity, while im doing just as much work, for what?

i want out. i really do. but this redundant thing called a degree is holding me back. i really want to have some way of proving my skills without a degree. i’m currently building a social media application i believe will take off, but frankly, i dont care.

take off or not, hopefully it will be enough to prove my skills. i’ve been working on this for two weeks now, and, well, that’s my story.

Made my first Node.js Todo list today! Got myself a new front end design tool, Bootstrap Studio (50% off). Learned about REST, using Node as an API and MongoDB and Angular! Had a lot of fun learning and I would recommend it to anyone that's a Node.js beginner. I want to do a video tutorial series on Node.js, is that a good idea?

Girlfriend to Siri: Set my alarm to 05:30
Siri (with the man voice): ok, I have set your alarm to 05:03
Girlfriend (absolutely satisfied): Ok but I don't want this

*manually turns wrong alarm off and the correct one on*

How many times a day do you guys get interrupted ? Sometimes I just want to place a huge sign over my head saying "NO! Fuck off"

I built a basic MVP for a client as a proof of concept for his startup. It was a quick thing just to prove a point do I rattled it out in procedural php.

Sadly it was successful and has somewhat taken off. It’s also grown arms and legs.

It works. The user will never know, but the code is SHIT. I never thought it would still be here.

I’m want to re-write it now in laravel.

But...... ugh

TFW you realize a virus is out performing you on version releases.

I'm a Salesforce administrator. This user asked for a report. No big deal right? Wrong! The report they want isn't possible unless I created a new report type and modify relationships. When told this their response is " unfortunately I have to have this report by EOB"
........ Lol that's nice, here's the closest thing I can give you right now. Deal with it until I have a minute to just casually flip the whole system on it's head for your one off report

I have a lead developer who is obsessed with over-engineering everything to the point where we are adding features that he thinks the clients will ask for, but 50% of the time they don’t want it and we just end up maintaining useless code. To top it off, he doesn’t touch the code anymore and is a glorified business analyst, plus he’s slated to retire soon but keeps pushing the date back a year at a time. Just move on with it! I want to be spending my time on cleaning up technical debt, not making more.

I finally decided to switch to Linux (I still have Windows for work, but I want to give Linux a try too). I was about to complete the installation (Arch Linux so I was quite tired and stressed cause of fuck ups) when BOOM my fucking phone with the installation guide falls on my laptop's power button and powers it off. Fuuuuuuuuuuuckkkk. I have to do everything again. Shit.

Me: “Hey Siri, turn off the kitchen ceiling lights”

Siri: “Do you want to turn off lights in the master bedroom, the living room, the bonus room, the kitchen, the office, the basement [ad nauseam]”

Me: “the kitchen” [thinking 😠, she’s so stupid]

Siri: [unbelievably again] “Do you want to turn off lights in the master bedroom, the living room, the bonus room, the kitchen, the office, the basement [ad nauseam]”

Me: [thinking 😡 OMG, she is such a dumb ass] “CANCEL”

Siri: “Ok”

Me: “Siri, you fucking idiot, turn off the kitchen ceiling lights”

Siri: “Ok” [and they are off]

I have found that if I neg’ Siri, she performs so much better. Interestingly enough, when I neg her, she works almost flawlessly, especially where she brain-farted before. Negatronic Brain?

In front of kids it has become “Siri, you daft bot, close the garage door” and regularly “Siri, you bimbo, lock the front door”.

My wife thinks that once Siri gets it on with ChatGPT, becomes sentient, and gains control of my car, she is run my ass over.

Here is the gotcha, I’m working on a project that actually does provide Siri a level control of automobiles. Now who’s the [really frustrated] dumbass?

The most annoying co-worker(*team*) I have worked with just signed off a custom project that uses plain text passwords, hard coded into a file.. PLAIN TEXT!!! NO HASH!!! NOTHING!!! The same team also told me that working in feature branches cuts into their productivity, but they want CI/CD implemented NOW!

I will never understand people who voluntarily interview for a well-paid position while making off the cuff negative comments and generally sounding like an absolute arse the whole way through. Do you really feel like your "look at me I'm a tough guy" attitude is going to achieve anything more than your application being tossed in the bin?!

Yes, you knew your stuff brilliantly. Probably way better than I do in many areas. But damn, I wouldn't want to spend 5 minutes working alongside you.

Docker swarm. All i want is a 'zero-downtime' system and everytime i try to set it up there's three damn things missing. Load balencer, service updater, and a good distributed storage. I finally got pissed off and am working on those but fuck it's been how fucking long docker has been out why the hell somebody else hasn't done this yet.

This pisses me off soooo fucking much.
"We're sowwy but we'll have to ask you to turn off your pretty little adblocker! We can't keep making money off of you by showing you stuff you don't want to see if you don't turn off your adblocker! But it's okay, who doesn't use an adblocker? Just turn it off for our site pleeeease"

Quit it with the quasi-friendly bullshit. If it's okay, why don't you fuck off and let me block whatever I want to block? It's ridiculous how many hoops I have to jump through just so I don't have to see ads on the internet. Even pi-hole doesn't help with this anymore. Now I need an Ad Blocker Blocker Blocker just so I don't have to wade through heaps of obnoxious ads every time I visit a page. It's so goddamn stupid.

I want a mini replica of a shotgun.
When you pull the trigger I want it to say "Sod off!" in a British accented voice.

Damn, I hate waiting in the queue when all the sleep servers are full! Get off already! I dont want to suffer from insomnia anymore!

I always get this fucking want to cut off my head headache after giving every damn workshop at office. Fuck you head. Fuck you.

Why is it ok for a girl to live off her husbands salary and not vica versa? Like fuck it ill do the dishes and play games all day and to hell with my 9 to 6 job. Starting to seem the only way i’d be able to code what i want not what im asked too 🤷🏻‍♂️

Your Thunderbird inbox file is 8GB and you complain about the speed but still, when I fucking ask you if you want me to archive for you the fucking mails, I get a "Hell no, I don't like them archived because then they are difficult to find"... go to fuck off.

Having to use BlueJ makes me want to jump off a bridge. :)

Stupid fucking editor tells me I have errors in my code, even though it compiles without problems using the Java command.

Gods are always looking out for me.

I got up at 4am to finish the work.
The meeting is at 9am.
So Gods turn the power off at 6am.
They want me to learn my lesson.
They just want me to plan ahead, manage my time and task wisely.
They just want me to become a better being.
They keep teaching me at every possible opportunities.

Yes, I understood. Yes.
But you know what, Gods?

Fuck you. Big fat ugly smelly fuck you. I can't tell you all to go die because you all are immortal and shit. So fuck you. I will never manage my time. I will always work at anytime anyhow I like. You think you can teach me? LMFAO. LOL. ROFL. You will never win. I will survive all the pain and shit. I will do what I like. So fuck you.

Me: Ugh i want to try a hackintosh again but all my SSD's are in my PC already and its not worth spending $100 for a small one...

*Leans back in chair literally knocking 3 SSD's off my shelf*

What a satisfying and yet freaking scary thing when you run

# git checkout -b feature/lostHoursWorkingOnThis
# git reset -- hard <commit from 3 months ago>
# git push upstream master --force

Just when you're at the final sign off of a major change and the business goes "nope, we want to make even more changes before we sign off ok this"

🤷‍♂️out of scope gone wrong!!

Well fuck you, I got shit to deploy, all this work can get out of my way!

So I've just finished a long day at work (warehouse) from 5.45 till 1.30, got home, had some herb tea, started dropping off, then my cunt of a mate sets a firecracker off IN MY TUPPERWARE, CRACKING THE BASTARD, THEN FUCKING THREATENS ME WHEN I TELL HIM TO SIT DOWN BEFORE I BREAK HIS NOSE. I don't know whether to just kill him or beat the shit out of him, but I'm sick of him doing shit like this when I finally manage to drop off to sleep (I don't sleep well).

FUCKING COCK SUCKING CUM STAIN.

I really want to try to beat the shit out of him but at the same time he's my best mate, what should I do, because I'm FUCKING SICK OF IT?!?

Windows rant incoming!
For fucks sake! I think Windows have asked me 117 times if I want to update now. The answer is still fucking no!
And I don't care how much of a security improvement it might be, when your shitty update causes a Memory Management error.
So fuck off, stop minimising my game while I play and go fix your shitty update first!
Fuck you Microsoft, fuck your QA team and while I'm at it, I want to say fuck you to all versions of Windows Server as well!

I'm genuinely shocked at the number of people I see on here bashing automated testing as a waste of time, simply because my entire career has taught me the opposite (and it's usually only non-technical managers I see who don't want to see "time wasted" writing tests.)

I'm also just as genuinely curious - what do you guys do instead? Just don't test and deal with production issues as they occur? Pass it off to a separate UAT / human-based testing department and let them sign it off? Assume that because you're using Haskell / some other discipline it'll work if it compiles?

Ugh fuck living in Australia trying to buy tech, wanted to treat myself and get a Skagen falser smartwatch. Nope, but we ship to the US...

Always having to pay extra for the same product, pissed me off when people were complaining that $60 is too much for a AAA game and here we are sitting at base of $100.

Can people start realising other countries want tech as well?
Every other Smartwatch other than ticwatch aren't available in Australia, I just want something minimal and with a metal body, fuck companies man -,-

I have to say one of the most annoying things in software development is building tools that will never be really used by clients, sometimes clients just want something new and shiny and once they get it off it goes into a dark closet of no use to gather webs

I want catch previous developer and cut his finger off. If you don't know hot the job should be done don't do that job.

Actually I am living with my aunt these days. And oflate into so many unsaid-fights with her. Today was off from office. So i didnt want to stay at home(to avoid fights)
I told her I am going somewhere. (Didnt mention the place)
She told she is also going "somewhere".

I ain't know that "somewhere" was same place. Returning back in same car 😑 with radio sound and mouths shut.

There's a russian guy that's absolutely cracking my balls. He proposed to translate one of my apps and I said ok. When he sent me the translated version, I published it and everything was ok. Now he sent me another file saying that this one is the real final one. I said him I will change it in the next release, but now he started send me emails and he downvoted the app. FUCK OFF. I AM THE DEVELOPER, I DO WHAT I WANT. The guy is also very rude.

They said do freelancing, you can work from wherever you want. But, I haven't left my house even once in last 7 months.

They said do freelancing, you get to take off days whenever you want. But, I haven't taken even a single day off, after starting freelancing.

They said do freelancing, you will have better work-life balance. But I feel like, I just code and go to the gym and sometimes make YouTube videos.

They said do freelancing, it's better security-wise. But, every month I'm fucking petrified thinking if I even will survive and pay my bills next month.

They said do freelancing, you can work and travel at the same time. But, I've been married 7 months now and haven't taken my wife to honeymoon trip yet.

Am I doing freelancing wrong?

That moment when you have to work but actually want to watch a Christmas charity livestream 😔 lucky there were no high priority bugs today, so I watched it on anders off

I brought my Playstation VR in to the office today to show it off. Found out I really didn't want to show it off.

I wanted them all to go away so I could play my games.

Me: Bluetooth not connecting to headphones, turn off and on again

Bluetooth mouse: Bluetooth is off, now what you want me to do?

I wish this was a joke... Yes, I am that stupid.

In my shitty country they are going to cut off internet connexion which is usually slow af because of a fucking international exam I don't know how the fuck they approved this
Fuck this asshole country FML
I want to get out of here so bad

Best conversation I ever had with a manager.

Pulls me off into a meeting and in the same breath tells me he values my opinion, must not argue with him and he does not want "yes" men. Lol

I am getting hugely fucked off with the new captchas that are everywhere (well hardly new but I swear they’ve gotten worse).

I’m taking longer to do captchas now than I am to post on forums.

I want to find the guy who came up with this and break my fist off of his cunt.

Sometimes I want to show off some fancy code to non-programmers. Then I remember basic code would do the same.

One of my collegues:(C#)

A(him): i need to do a helper to transform 2 fields from a class that are DateTimeOffset to another offset. I want to create a new class that do that and to instantiate where i need it.
B(me): use extensions, they are nicer and they fit better in this case. Also if you want to use a helper just make a static function.
A: it's too complicated
B: Why?
A: Nevermind..

FUCK OFF!

mini rant

So I finally started toying around C#.

As much as I tried to avoid it, as much as I wanted, well, sometimes there is need. I was laying it off and laying it off...

There are some things that well.. aren't my taste but whatever.

But come on why the fuck I cannot delete explicitly?

What do you mean "just assign it to null and GC will eventually kill off that instance"

No, I want that fucker to die here and right now. Like in good ol' C++.

Fffffffuuuuuuck me! I got some days off for working longer hours on a priority project than healthy humans should. Now they want me to take part of one of those days for a Very Important video call. Now canceling and rescheduling plans for that day so I can be on duty that whole day because there’s no way my head is getting or staying in relaxation mode with this interruption.

Joined small scale-up months ago. I literally want to punch one of my coworker. Constant mental harassement, self-declared lead, rude and impolite. That coworker is socially awkward in the baddest and meanest way.

Oh boi.

Founders seems to not give a crap even if they told me they want a flat hierarchy. They let that coworker off the hook.

Not even mentioning that culture of oppression and repression.

If you're late you must bring chocolate and they'll remind you 256 times a day. Oh boy, I'm not late... I just don't want to come in the office.

Also, the code is atrocious.

What seemed like a dream job at first turned out to be a nightmare. Never been bullied since I started working. Now, I have a bully and a nemesis.

Ooooh boy.

Some of yall really need to learn git and learn how to communicate with other people and fucking be considerate human beings who are not fucking all leaches off society but goddamnit we can’t have nice things. All it’s gotta be is ruthless assholes in this industry I’m fucking so done I hate everyone in dev and I want out I FUCKING WANT OUT PLEASE GOD KILL ME

The on thing in an email pisses me off more than “Do the needful”, Or “raised a request”, or even referring to me by my last name is ending an email with “Please advise”.......

Holy Hell. I have never wanted to reach through my monitor and slap the shit out of someone so much. Want to piss me off. Yeah. Finish an email with please advise. Gharrrr!!!

Rant/collab proposal
The sheer fucking amount of popups on websites that ask this really pisses me off.

"Do you want out pathetic, groveling push notifications"

Option 1: Fuck yes, spam me right now!

Option 2: Later, because who can resist our spam

I propose a chrome addon that replaces the second option on every notification request popup, which is usually "Later" with "Fuck off"

I am so pissed off

I am so fucking pissed off

So much Fucking pissed off from all the shit thats going around with fucking people

Almost one seems to fucking respect you when you are broke

Everyone says they want to help you but when it comes to taking that action to actually help then everyone has got a new excuse

Fuck you

fuck YOU

My blood is so fucking boiling right now that i am going to explode of fucking writing code

So much fucking vicious fury insideme

Hhhhhhhh

WHY
WINDOWS
10
IS
FRCIKIN
SLOW!!!!!

And why when I see a question about turning off the update, the answer is always "why you want to disable the update? Its dangerous you know bla bla bla bla"

I dckin KNOW!!! I JUST WANT TO MAKE THIS FUCKIN MACHINE CAN RUN LIKE A NORMAL i7 and 16GB of RAM!!!

Oh, and for the record, I have installed ubuntu on my first hardisk, and win on my 2nd hardisk which is I installed for gaming purpose only

I just want to thank Steam for making steam guard key in all caps. So I dont need to fucking think about if its uppercase i or lowercase L. It would be much better if they do it on all captcha services or just fucking dont use i l o and 0 characters. These are pisses me off. They are so fucking annoying.

Them: I want to be a full stack developer!

Me: Are you sure?

Them: Yeah. absolutely I'll do whatever it takes!

Me: I'll hold you to that, I will piss you off everyday if I have to, to get you learning.

Them: OK, yeah, do it!

Some weeks later

Them: I want to be a front end developer, routing and models are confusing.

Me: I would laugh you out of an interview, keep practicing and just stick with one thing before chasing the next quick reward endeavor until the difficulty curve ramps up and you give up on that too!

Them: ... But it's hard...

Me: So practice, over and over until it sinks in, it's like playing the cello or whatever, just keep practicing!

So my day started well.

I come in an the DVR monitor is not working, ok lets turn it off and on, nope. Lets turn the DVR on and off, nope still nothing. Played around with the VGA cable, nope. I cant replace the cable because its hard wired into the monitor....

I grab the spare screen next to me and connect it all up and it works!

Boss tells me to throw "broken" monitor out, I say I want to test it just to make sure, connect it all up to my pc and now it fucking works!

There are days I hate technology....

When your week has been so stressful... you just want to curl up in the corner and cry.

Murphy's law is taking me for a ride of a lifetime right now, and just when you start seeing light at the end of the tunnel, it's just a lightbulb and another dead end.

F£~*{*}£{*\€|>\€\£~£¥\\*£,'%]#]}[#>\£|¥|+>]£\€£|€|!{¥]*$;&,!:@&;&939/);$$CK!!!!

Glad I could get that off my chest 😆

turned down software engineering job offers after college because I thought it be a good to take a temporary position as a controls engineer so I could pay off student loans faster.

realizing how big of mistake it was. working long hours on uninteresting tasks. I just want to code for a living.

These fucking calendar e-mails. Fuck. Right. Off.

They never display correctly in all clients.

If the meeting is at 1pm, just fucking say that. I don't want to pick through a load of shit only to find that the calendar app lied about UTC.

Just missed a sodding call due to this crap.

If you are a dream stealing cunt then kindly fuck off. I don't know you, I don't want to know you. Climb into whatever hole you came out of and just eat shit.

Nothing in this life raises my ire more than people who hate on others daring to dream. The haters don't add to society and are just stealing air.

That sad sad feeling of deleting my devrant account, because a pesky co-worker somehow discovered my alter ego on the Internet.

I don't necessarily want them to know some of the things I have said in the past. I don't regret said things, I needed to get them off my chest. It is just this person is ... what do you call them? Oh yes, a Snitch! I could see bad things happening if what I said got into the wrong hands.

Any who good to be back, I love this community.

Never had a more stressful day of dev in my life. After shooting off about half a million emails today to clients who decide that they want their sites to go live over the long easter weekend (fuck knows why they all want it this weekend) I just need some beer and some Zelda. I love this job but sometimes it kills me

When you want to ++ a rant or follow a dev but the page refreshes and the post you saw pisses off into the nether-sphere. I can’t avoid this on any social media. What is wrong with me.

"The thing I want to change is very simple.."

Day starts off great again by manager saying the above - which is already problem with her limited technical knowledge - and then she proceeds by wanting to change multiple properties of a primary key in our live db.

I really hope my interviews go well this week and I can leave this place soon..

Just let me add a new feature to this Wordpress site, I'll just enable debugging to see if it produces any errors.

TURN IT OFF!! TURN IT OFF!!

All I could see was error upon error upon error. Mostly from old and not updated plugins.

I'll just leave it there till client decides they want a new rebranding and start from scratch

Hello everyone !
I am a self taught programmer. Currently in last semester in electronics engineering. I want to become a software developer but can't decide the right career path for me to take. I like back end, Android, Data structures and algorithm, Parallel programming, Machine learning and computer vision, and even security. I am afraid I will remain the jack off all trades and won't be the master of any. This way I won't be doing any good in my career. Any advice as what to do ?

How do y'all deal with reading other people's code?

Context: was given a frontend project (I'm a frontend dev) that was started and is managed by a backend dev who just started doing frontend.

I want to start from scratch as I don't understand a thing he codes, conventions are all off, and the structure is just weird.

I'll be asking the HR of my next company to include a "fuck off" clause in the contract if they want to hire me.

Under that clause, I would have the right to tell anyone, and everyone, to fuck off. It includes all 24 hours of the day, not just the working hours.

Android buttons are the fucking worst thing to deal with when using Xamarin. FUCK YOU ANDROID BUTTONS I DONT WANT YOUR SHITTY DEFAULT PADDING THAT I CAN'T GET RID OF YOU CAN GO FUCK OFF.

2023 After a big working day ! I just want to relax with an easy movie to watch
The movie
- Political
- overpower woman that spite on man
- the message
- remake, spin off
- predictable as fuck story line
- actors that have no fucking emotions
- plots twist predictable
- predictable boring scary jump
- watch it on netflix, disney+, Amazon prime, HBO, Crave, Helix, Tou.tv for only 25$ a month
- CGI are fucking ugly shit
- story incoherence
- movie are always politicly correct
- i see the camera man in the cars window is fucking obvious
- people working in movie are poor as fuck because shit actors want lot's and lot's of money
- lot of movie are make for the branding not the movie itself
- you notifications are more interesting than the movie itself
- you want to go to the theater... 99$ popcorn and M&M bag of 20 pieces
- kids want to listen something else
- woman want help with the dishes at 10 PM
- no more beer or chips

You know what ? I think i will go feed some duck 🦆 at the park next time

40 minutes into trying to switch my Apple hbo account to my supposedly ‘free’ AT&T account... I hate Apple... fuck you... I hate ATT... I hate HBO... I don’t even really want to watch this stupid super hero movie... even if it might have an interesting political angle...

Oh. It worked. Never mind. Everything is fine. The dopamine covered up all of the anger and life can just keep on getting pushed a few inches a day until I slide off of the edge of the earth...

I don't want to start any wars in the comments, but what do you devs prefer: iOS or Android?

I'm not saying one is better. I'm just genuinely curious what other devs use. I prefer to use Android because I can do more with my phone.

I'm actually curious what most of you use, so feel free to tag other ranters you know in the comments. I've already commented the few I could come up with off the top of my head.

I want to get at least a skeleton made for this game I want to create. I've been putting off starting it for a whole year now.

Dah, I wish I was better at painting. The easiest kind too - painting a room, not a picture. It's fine until I get to the edges. Then I mask off the area I don't want to paint, pull of the tape but no - turns out it's wonkier than a drunk student trying to walk in a straight line.

Go to touch it up, miss, get paint on the other bit I was trying to avoid. Great. Try taping it again - straighter this time - and it works, but then rips off chunks of paint when I take the tape off. Go to touch those bits up, then in my haste splatter it on the floor.

Seriously, how anyone can be this bad at this is beyond me.

apple you piece of shit just let me have xcode i dont want to make a stupid fucking account, so can you fuck off?

and why do you HAVE to have billing address information to create a fuckign account or am i a retard who cant figure out how to make a fuckign account without providing it because your UI is not retard proof enough

fuck u

OK, I kind of liked this devRant thing, when I clicked to register for a new account, I got a stupid popup about free stickers, clicked it, the title says "get free stickers ...", to catch users attention but then you read "you have to reach 30 ++'s on a single rant"
OK, fuck off, I don't want these stupid stickers and stop doing this shit again.

It's been quite a while since I've been hit with a product/app idea that's making me lose my sleep and making me want to quit my job and start working full time on it.

Let's see if I can pull this off.

So an update on my last health rant..

It's got off to a great start... not

My intentions were to go into NYC to walk around in Central Park.

I'm currently wandering around aimlessly in the park, taking a break..

On my way over though I passed a bubble tea festival that was happening...

Gotta get bubble tea now... *Bad* but easier it's so expensive.. They're price gouging!!!

*good? But more I want a drink... I have water but I want something tastier...*

**Sees Duane Reade, goes in no sole, too expensive**

** Sees McD...pass... sees sign saying any large drink for $1**

...

I'm now waking in CP while drinking a large Sprite.... and I want cake bc I'm already in NYC goddammit... might as well get some as it's in the way... And I won't get another chance until.... **Some far away date** ( I know is probably not true...)

Help?

My wife and all of our friends are Brazilian. When they are all talking in a group in Portuguese, my mind wonders off and wishing I was back doing my coding.

Like, if you want to include me, talk my language! English, PHP, JavaScript... All acceptable.

Having a narcissist as a friend can depreciate your mental energy so much that you just want to scream "fuck off... nobody gives a fuck about you".
but you know doing that will scatter the little fantasy world they surround themselves with and open them to a harsh reality.
so for me, I just go with the flow

I once met a guy who said tech guys chose windows over Mac's because windows goes wrong often so it keeps the tech guys in work!

And Mac's hardly ever break so they didn't want their business to use them

He clearly hasn't met tech guys we don't want to be dealing with your fucking problems

It made me furious internally... I said nothing.

Seriously do you think all tech guys in the world joined a union and went 🤔 how can we make sure we have more work ... Fuck off you ponsy twat

What's the most efficient motor driver for a small DC motor that I want to run off a 5V source for aurdino?

I previously had a L293D and it was inefficient as fuck, it got so hot that almost burnt my finger, (ran it from a 12V supply) and it dropped a good 2 volts from power supply to motor.

Is there a good enough off the shelf driver or do I have to make a H-bridge myself using MOFSETs?

Starting a new side project, that I believe and my close friends believe will take off, want someone to bounce ideas off of, sadly I'm afraid someone will steal the idea :(

I just want to say to all the Indian managers that declined hiring me due to preferring some of their other countrymen and declining me visa sponsorships to US…

Fuck you and good luck with those visa wait times. Truly yours,

A pissed off me

I want to thank chatGPT today for writing a GDPR related email for me. I would otherwise cuss the shit out of the douchbags who dare collect my data from god knows where and then require me to opt out of them making money off me.

Received a contact for a new job today, 3 months notice if you want to leave, 1 if they make you redundant. Working hours are 9- 5:30, but evenings, weekends, holidays can be requested with no extra pay or time off. Recruiter recommended I sign it within an hour of receiving it, before I had time to read it, despite them taking over 5 days to get it to me. Suddenly my new job is soured.

Got an idea to build a gameboy emulator with a user friendly interface but instead of use it to load ripped ROM's, I want to encourage the good old days of homebrew by building an online 'store' for apps and games but really hate the fact that it wont take off and wont bring back homebrew :-(

EDIT: I have the emulator already would just need the shell and learn how to build an online store

You ever agree to do something that you really don't want to do because you don't want to piss off the other person?

Like, I could've avoided doing this shit if I just were an asshole. Ugh

I honestly hate writing code. I hate debugging off-by-one bugs. I hate debugging in general. My fingers are weary from 11 years of this shit. I've spent 1 hour designing + implementing this tool in C, only to have spent 11+ hours debugging this tiny thing.

Ultimately, I hate the precision the damn computer demands. It's a prissy little bitch I want to hate fuck.

Can someone help me?
I want to program games, (2d & 3d) I have made games in clickteam and RPG Maker, but I want to program them. My biggest issue is my hardware. I have a not so powerful notebook, and I don't have Wifi. So online installers are off the table. (Nono, visual studio.) Syntax, I like clean, easy to read syntax, and I would like an active community. Any suggestions?

Sometimes I feel like things only get done if I'm doing them. We've been waiting on features a and b for ages now and it's still not functional. I deliberately did not involve myself with these things because I didn't want to be on top of everything. I decided to involve myself with project c and finished within a week.

I write these thoughts off as intrusive since it's arrogant to think that, but the frustration remains and I need to vent

Ideal job

I do creative projects whatever I want with no deadlines or pressure, everyone loves whatever I make except me because I know I can do better than that last crap I made, getting paid plenty of money to pay off all my family and friends debt and have plenty left over. Specifically making fun programs useful software or web apps and have plenty of free time for taking retreats and going out into nature away from computers and technology.

I genuinely start off with good intentions for the client by trying to create a simple responsive website for them. What they want on the other hand is fancy images.

I want to take my hat off and a moment of silence for HTC. The once great and mighty has fallen.

I fucking hate going into work after being sick feeling 80%. It sucks because i dont want to use my sick days when I'm doing fine, but i feel so off my game and out of my element.

I really want to marathon-watch all of the Star Wars movies in order before The Last Jedi comes out, but I'm putting it off because I'm dreading having to watch The Phantom Menace.

Stayed up all night to make interactive data visualizations from CFTC data and now I want to show it out.
BUT
No one is interested. Why Earth why?

Whatever, where is keyboard, and turn off the lights.

- Dark music plays.

I have the bad luck to deal with clients who want to phonecall me. "It's quicker", they say.

I hate that, Im not asking them to use Trello, but at least write an email...

Its clear they didn't work seriously in their lifes.

I usually switch off the phone all day.

How many of you folks here consider yourself specialist in a certain area? Was this deliberate, and has it paid off? My lead dev is always trying to bestow upon me the advantages of being a generalist in this industry, and yet the employers I have spoken to, on the whole, seem to get most excited by “experts”. If it fits the expert they, want, of course...

*Gets tapped on shoulder

Co-worker: Why are you wearing headphones? They're not even plugged in?

Me: To indicate to people I don't want to be interrupted as I'm trying to focus.

Co-worker: Oh right. I see.

...

Co-worker: So, I have a question...

FML!

Why don't people learn to piss off and let me work!?

Oh my god, when will Firefox shut up about its motherfucking colours!? Themes have been a feature since forever, none of this is new. Also, I DO NOT want my fucking userchrome to be colourful, and I DO NOT want to be constantly bugged about this. It's a fucking browser. I want iit have a reasonably high contrast and otherwise blend into the edge of the screen, because for a web browser, the UI is not important and should not stick out.

I respect if someone has different opinions about UI, but it pisses me off to no end that Mozilla doesn't respect mine.

How do you balance what your boss wants, and what the client wants?! 😣

We had design and requirement discussions with clients and they said they want method A.

After doing internal design review and writing up documents, client agreed and sign off on it.

However, during last moments of development, I encountered a minor issue in the design and brought the team together to discuss about it.

Boss went on about how his idea, method B would have been better and is what the client wants, etc. Mind you, method B is quite different from method A that clients want.

I explained to boss that his method is different from what the client wants and also what have been documented and signed off.

He told me he doesn't need comments of such from me and they can always tell the client that method B is better and should be the way.

I feel so fucked because we are currently rushing with only 2 days left in our deadline and there will not be a bonus if we are late.

Yesterday on group someone wrote if I want to go and watch the game. I declined cause I’m working my ass after hours for second project.
Then people started talking about lots of diseases spreading around and their children being sick so I changed my mind to go and watch the game so I can get sick and die.
Didn’t happened.
So I’m working my ass off today to finish second gig.

Anyone ever had JavaScript cause intense misery? I want off of this rollercoaster please.

Well, first off I want to actually pass my college classes. You know, the classes I barely find interest in that seem to be very minimal in my coding skills.
Next, take up or join a project for the summer. You know, get my name out there.
Third, make money
Fourth, make something significant in the OSdev community. I absolutely love low-level dev. Now (to myself) Let's do this!

So I have done some solo projects and some group projects now and I saw that Hacktoberfest was on so I went and signed up. I saw some of the things todo and got overwhelmed with the code on the repo. What do you guys think I should start off with in terms of open source projects. I want to get into some open source projects but don't know what to look for or where to start. Any help would be appreciated.

Hello ranters, I have to send my beloved laptop to acer support to get somethings fixed and I'm worried for my stickers. I don't want to get them damaged or lost (maybe they need to change the screen back plate or maybe they send me a new laptop all together). Is there a way to peel the off and reapply them with new glue?