Just me, explaining how my code works.

Hoorah! My code finally works! Now gotta remove those 1000 print statements I used to identify the bugs 😥

My boss saw me tweaking some css via chrome devtool on a prod website.
"Oh, isnt that our html code ? So every one could see it ? You should find a way to hide it, this is not an open source project!"
Didnt even knew how to answer ._.
This not how it works ...

TL;DR: Clients are dumb.

Client IT Lead: "Your code isn't working on our website."

Me: "Because you didn't load our code into your website. Do that, and everything works."

CIL: <proposes terrible alternative>

M: "No fix on my end will matter if you don't load our code into your website."

CIL: <more disagreement>

M: "Let me discuss with my team and I'll get back to you."

... later that day, in a follow up meeting with client's team ...

M: "Load our code into your website as was initially intended and everything works fine."

CIL's Boss: "That makes complete sense, and I'm not sure why we weren't doing that from the beginning. Let's make that happen, CIL."

CIL: "Okay."

——

👨🏽‍💻🤷🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️

Dev: "Ah, I finally fixed that code I was working on the other day and got it pushed to staging!"

Almond: "Ah, great! What was the issue in the end?"

Dev: "It was an odd one - it wasn't actually my code that was the issue, there was a bunch of other code getting in the way."

Almond: "How do you mean?"

Dev: "It kept complaining about something called a "unit test" failing - so after a while I found the right unit tests, deleted them, and now it works great!"

Almond: "..."

A: "You write code? Can you fix my computer?"
M: "No, that's not how it works, bud"
A: "Why? It's both computer stuff."
M: *points to the greasy tire shop* "Let's go get your car painted there*
A: "Hell no"
M: "Why? It's both car stuff."

😂

Fuxk yeah! My code works! It's 2AM, I'm happy and there's no one around, so I wrote a poem :-P

What was once impossible,
Is now close to completion,
Thanks to my debug statements,
Which now await their deletion.

"Don't waste your time on writing comments or documentation, as long as the code works!" - My (Ex-) Coworker

Me: I love programming.

Friend: Are you serious?

Me: My code works

Friend: Oh, that makes sense.

I don't have a degree but my code works....

Every time I code, my programmer boyfriend has to be near me. Why, you may ask? Because this happens too often:

me: *yells bf name*, why does this not work?????
bf: here, lemme see
*code mysteriously works when bf comes to see*
bf: what, theres nothing wrong with that
me:

"My code works, but I have no idea as to why or how. Even StackOverflow says it shouldn't work." -Me

Hollywood be like

"Oh no they shot a hole in my CPU, let me just rewrite the code so that it works again. I'll be 5 minutes."

I've been writing PHP for more then 10 years. So, one fine day while having coffee with new tech manager...

Manager: huh, you've been programmer for very long time. Can you explain how echo works?

Me: err.. Echo. Spit out string. (show some example code on my phone)

Manager: I mean, I want to know, which part in C++ code in PHP engine. (trying to impress with jargons)

Me: I don't know. But why?

Manager: As programmer, you need to know, so you can echo more efficient.

Me: ... Errr... Ok... (I've been echo-ing for more then decade. Is there a way to make echo more efficient?)

Stackoverflow

When I was just starting with programming I used to google a lot (more) of my problems. But just just copying them made me feel guilty, since I could not handle the problem myself. So I decided to analyse a code to the point where i understand exactly how it works. Sometimes it took me a couple of hours to understand a method, which was written 1 or 2 levels over my current level, but it was totally worth it. I learned a lot about Java, how to write cleaner code in general and how to read and understand code quickly.

Progression in mindset of a developer trough professional life:

1. I'm going to make my code so efficient and beautiful that everyone will envy it!

2. I'm going to make sure I keep separation of concern.

3. I'm going to make my code at least maintainable for other developers.

4. Well shit. At least it works, for now.

Needed to download all my music from Google music, their download manager is crap (on ubuntu)

Decided to use their API, found a gem that works perfectly. Started downloading it.

Told my GF how I wanted to code something cool but gound someone else did, her response:

So why doesn't google make something ?
Me:They did, but it sucks in linux, and they have their API's which work fine.

And how are normal people supposed to make it work then?
Me: well it works, jut have to install this and run the CLI with.... wait.. am I not normal?

I guess we are not normal in the eyes of some people.

I'm confused...
My code works but... It's really not supposed to...

When my code works as intended on the first go on a new language

People on Stack Overflow are SUCH FUCKING ASSHOLES

"You didn't show us where you declared this unimportant array, please review this article for how to ask questions"

My question doesn't concern the array, my question concerns how the system works, all code I provided was only for clarity. Read my fucking question you arrogant asshole. You have lots of points, fine, go tell your mother, but you assume I don't know how to ask a question which you clearly did not read.

Me: *explains how my code works*
Anyone within 30 feet: "In ENGLISH please"

I'm working on my own code editor with 'multiplayer', option to draw stuff, option to design algorithm schemes, option to browse SQLite databases and most importantly - I've based entire interface on HTML/CSS/JS and entire backend on C# and PHP, so it works both online (via browser) and offline (via program).

Tell me whatchu think, it's still work in progress.
(I've removed the name of it so when I share this project with my future employer, he doesn't connect the dots)

*Doing a Peer Code Review of someone senior to me*

Me: This fix doesn't look like it will work, but maybe I don't understand. How does this fix the defect?

Senior Dev: *Blinks* It works on my machine

Me: But how does it work?

Senior Dev: It works when I run it on my machine...

Me: Do you know if this will fix the issue?

*Silence*

Never seen QA punt an issue back to development so fast.

It always feels like this

All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.

My team member just rewrote all of my code and it looks beautiful and it works but and now i feel like I'm a terrible programmer :'(

When the code is not working:

I have failed my parents, my job and everyone. I shouldn't have taken Software Engineering as my profession. All I'm doing is giving pain and frustration to everyone. *thinks about a clean way of suicide*

Then after a while the code works:

I am probably the best engineer to live on these planet.

Oh my fucking god. This blessed feeling when your code finally works and you can remove all those fucking breakpoints and move on.
These are the moments I became a programmer for

My code works in first run , but why ? -_-

Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

So far, this is my inspiration to refactoring the code right after it works as gift to my future self.

Someone wrote a piece of code half a year ago. It's fuckin complex and recursive. And uncommented. Today it's my job to figure out WHY and HOW it works.
If it wasn't clear before, that someone who wrote it was me. I'm not sure if I was on some substances back then, but that shit is fast and I have no clue how I was able to create it. Perhaps it was the coffee overdose...

However, wish me luck figuring this thing out.

hi

i just spent 6 hours and 25 minutes trying to figure out why data doesnt get inserted and updated into database but works locally.

after 6 hours and 25 minutes i realized i forgot to put connection.commit() in my code after inserting and updating queries.

ok

This one project at my study.

We always had to do quite some documentation, even some in a way that works the opposite of how my brain works.

That's all fine if you can agree on doing it differently.

Had this teacher who valued documentation above anything else. The project was 10 weeks, after 9 weeks my documentation got approved (yes, not a single line of code yet) and I could finally program for the remaining 5 days.

Still had quite some bugs at say number five, the day of presentation.

I imagined that'd be okay since I only had 4 full days instead of the 5-8 weeks everyone else had.

Every bug was noted and the application was "unstable" and "not nearly good enough".

At that moment I thought like "if this is the dev life, I'm out of here".

> make a change
> PR gets rejected
> IHATEFORALIVING! YOUR CHANGE IS NOT WORKING! EVERYTHING BREAKS!
> 3 hours long debugging session
> We find out a whole bunch of bugs
> Suddenly, everything works
> None of the bugs had ANYTHING to do with my change. In the instances where the app broke, my code wasn't even being called at all.
> My change was literally the one and only working thing

I wish life was like in The Office, when you just stop what you're doing and you drop the Jim stare at some camera

<This is my first rant, though I've been spectating in readonly mode (ie, without an account) for a while now./>

*Programs all day Saturday adding innumerable lines of code to a new project*
*Builds and runs project*
*Everything not only compiles, but the app works flawlessly*
*Faints*

tl;dr: Bossmang blaming my code for a database connection issue thrown from outside of my code. Bossmang doesn’t listen. Bossmang doesn’t want to believe it’s a connection issue.

———

Bossmang: The code you wrote is causing insane spec failures in the release branch! It’s hard to follow because it’s so insane, but the cause is your code not properly handling undefined settings! Look at this! <spec>

Me: Specs pass on my machine. I ran it with both a set and nil value. <screenshots>

Bossmang: It works when you set it to nil.

Me: But a setting that doesn’t exist returns nil? <screenshot>

Bossmang: Not seeming to.... So this is the spec failure from the release: “No connection pool with id primary found. <stacktrace that starts outside of my code>”

Me: ... That’s a DB connection error. It’s also being thrown outside of my code, and from a `super` call to Rails.

Bossmang: But <unrelated> and <unrelated> and <other spec> is failing, and if I set the version, it has <other failure> instead! That calls your code first.

Me: It’s a database error. Also: <explains probable, unrelated cause of other failures, like someone didn’t mock a fucking external api call>

Bossmang: But if I restore a DB backup, it fails again.

Me: Restoring uses a dB connection, which could be exhausting the pool depending on the daemons you have running.

Bossmang: perhaps.

...

Bossmang: I still think it’s related to spec ordering.

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
This is tiring.

Team says their code is done, tested, and working. They have merged all of their code and now to merge it with mine.

Take care of the merge, go to test it, and NONE OF IT WORKS.

Ok... So maybe something in my code did it. NOPE. Still crashes without mine.

Thank goodness for version control.

Now need to help define what "tested and working" means...

When my code works the first time

This just makes me mad every time.

I have a friend who asks for help in coding and just reads and copies my whole code, doesn't even understand what's going on and just copies the whole damn thing (the variable names too). Also, says I don't know how to do it properly because I indent the code and he wants it all in a single line.

If there is any error in the code, just tells me that there is a problem and does nothing and keeps nagging me if I solved the problem every 2 minutes.

Once I solve the problem, just copies the stuff again and then brags to others about the code and takes all the credit.

After bragging, if someone asks him for help he just tried to match the code line by line and worry by word. And tells them their code is wrong if they are using a different method of solving the problem and asks them to do it like him.

Being an introvert, I don't go shoving my stuff in others faces and criticising their code.

But the professor knows I am good, so that works for me. :)

My Aunt works for a company for which I did a website. She shows me a plastic cup with a pretty design and a qr code on it and asks me if I knew anything about that. I declined and she continued to tell me that her boss claims I can connect the qr code to some location on the website. Of course I can't. Now they have 2000 of these things lying around the office with a stock qr code that is invalid

Hey look, npm broke my project again. Surprise!

Code and dependencies on my local machine, all untouched for a couple of weeks, no longer works. I've no idea how it even managed that.

Oh, and `npm update` crashes.

eventually solved by upgrading npm and running `npm update --depth 500` because some arbitrary child dependencies changed without updating the parent packages, ofc. on my local machine. without me having run `npm update` for about a month.

because of course that makes sense.
Second time in two months, too.

isn't npm great?

Junior dev:Hey,see my code works :)
*After analysis of code*
Senior dev:Let's talk about complexity bro
Junior dev: shit :(

My cousin just messaged me and asked me to make him a discount code for an online retailer.
THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS.

I actually like Microsoft these days. Despite developing on Mac machines, we use VSTS for code repo, build/release pipelines and work item tracking, and Azure for all things cloud. It all works incredibly well together and at low cost.

Microsoft has changed ethos massively in the last few years. In my opinion, the classic dev mantra of “Microsoft is shit and evil, Linux is flawless” is outdated and getting kind of boring.

Today I saw a code written by my junior. Basically excel export. The laravel excel package provide great ways for optimization.

My junior instead did 6 times loop to modify the data before giving that data to the export package. We need to export around 50K users.

When I asking him why this ? He said it works and it's fast so what the issue ???

Noob , you have only 100 users in the database and production has 10 million.

Sometime I just want to kill him.

My JS function is now lazy loading, expressive, and uses 12 fewer lines of code! 😃

It no longer works, but
... no one is perfect. 😅

!rant

This might be not much to most of you people, but I just made my very first mod for a game. And it works. And it took me just an hour. 2 years ago I had no idea how to code. I am proud.

Today I learned that coding in front of a room full of developers while they watch me code, sends me into anxiety mode and I forget how to type properly. Now all my coworkers think i type at 2 works a minute. yay :/

I've spent three days trying to upload some code to my ESP8266 and it failed every time. Now I just plugged the Arduino at my Desktop and it works. Notebook USB port does not provide enough current I think.

Have you ever felt misused just because you can do things fast?

I've faced this recurring problem with my PM.
It has got to a point where she would just change requirements multiple times a day just because

" this is a quick thing"
"the code for this should be small"
"try and see how it works"
"I too have coded in the past"

The best part is, anything that works was her idea. And anything that doesn't was built by Dev team.

If you write a tutorial or a book with code samples please take the time to ensure that (a) you cover everything that is needed to get your samples to work properly and (b) that your samples actually to work.

It is frustrating the bloody hell out of me typing your code character by character into my machine just to have my compiler screaming at me.

On that note: just wasted a week on rewriting a whole bloody library that was "broken" just to discover that the library works just fine but the freaking tutorial on the very page was faulty.

How I spend my days at work working with legacy code:

* Writing tests before I do anything
* Noticing that i cannot write tests because of antipatterns. Lots of them.
* Refactoring to make at least a tiny bit testable.
* Then writing tests.
* More rewriting and refactoring
* Finally adding that one feature my boss asked me for
* Writing tests for that new feature (my do that before implementing)
* Explaining to my boss why it took me so long and agreeing on stopping writing tests.
* 2 days later: explaining why i still broke something.

But in the end my code works just fine.
my colleagues handle things differently. They just ignore problems as long as at least one feature works a bit.

I saw a piece of code that, to my knowledge of software engineering, should have never worked in the first place. The code doesn't know that, and it works anyway.

I call this a "bumblebug".

I HATE SVN! >:v v:< >:v v:< :@

I used to use git for my personal code repositories and for my work. In the office I moved on, they use Subversion. I’ve been using it for months, but it’s a pain in the ass :/

We use TortoiseSVN to pull code repositories, and the AnhkSVN for Visual Studio Plugin. It works fine until two or more of us have to work at the same code project at the same time.

Last week we had a very VERY urgent code to release. We had 4 days to finish it (from thursday to sunday, tests included). We had few changes to do, but the problem was that, when one dev commited something, my changes disappeared, and viceversa. The worst part was that my partners and I had to re-work a lot of bugs that we had already fixed! >:v

This is not the first time this happens :/

The worst thing is that we cannot change our repository system because we don’t have time :(

Is there any advice you, SVN users, can give us?

When I have tons of warnings but my code still works

It's about a guy that knows better.

I was working as a subcontractor on a bigger system. We (subs) were not allowed to deploy code, we had to wait for contractor to deploy.

One day I got an email that my code is bugged and that my feature is not working on production. I checked it on test env, everything was fine. Then I checked if the code I wrote was deployed. It was not.

I send an email explaining that if they deployed my code it would be working. Then I got a response. There was a bug in my code.

Another email. I asked how would they know? Do they have a test on their environment that failed?

No. There is one guy that READ my code and he said it should not work, so he will not deploy it. He was not a programmer, he was a business consultant responsible for the documentation.

His issue was that I used a function that was not in a class. So if the function is not declared it's obvious it will not work. I had to explain to him in another email, that you can use object of another class inside your class and then call a function, that is not in your class. It was the last time this guy blocked my deploy.

TL;DR, I had to explain a non-dev how object composition works in order to have my code deployed. Took four emails.

The same code works in the console but not in my script. Freaking hell.

Thanks, Capybara.

I hired a coder to write a WordPress plugin on my dev server. He no longer works for me and is unreachable. The plugin does most of what it needs to do. But when I dig into the code and the database to find what should be obvious bits of code that do obvious things? None of that code is found. Not even with a recursive directory keyword search for that should be easy to find like CSS class names and IDs. Even the data that comes from the database and that I see on the screen is not actually present in the database!!! Yet it all works. I'm pretty sure at this point the code and data reside in a parallel dimension only the coder can get to. How do I debug code that doesn't actually exist?!

"Well this is Java, that's intelliJ"
-Guy in my CS class figuring out why my code works and his doesn't

this week started like shit, but today it seems like everything fell into place. the interns are working, the bs code i had to change works, i did more than i expected, plus i just cut my hair and it is cute as heck

Ok, so teacher (which should be something like a professional dev or whatever) assigned us a homework for a Christmas (I dont care, I can complete his assignments in like 10 minutes max). We have to do some simple shit in C++, just some loops and input + output. Nothing hard. He challenged me to write it as short as possible, so I did. My classmates have codes around 60 to 70 lines long (after propper formating). I made it 20 lines long using some pointer magic and stuff like that. I tried my code, it ran fucking perfectly, so I sent that to him. He replied that the code does not work. I tried to recompile it and it ran perfectly. Again, it does not work. Afeter 13 fucking emails he fucking finally sent me the error message. Some fucntion was not found (missing some library but literally everywhere else it works without it...). Thats strange, because it run perfectly on my Fedora with CLion, so I switch to Windows and try to run same code in Visual Studio (which we are using in school btw). Works perfectly. So I start arguing with the teacher more and more. I tried around 10 online compilers. Works fuckng everywhere. Teacher is pissed, me too. So I rewrote my whole code, added comments and shit, reinvented wheel literally everywhere. Now I have C99 standardised code over 370 lines long that run even on a fucking arduino after changing input output methods so it can work with it. It (suprisingly runs) on his PC too.

After a bit more arguing, he said that he is using CodeBlocks from fucking 2015. Wow. Just fucking wow. Even our school has some old Visual Studio (2007 I guess) and it worked there.

someone pushes code and breaks ci.
me: you broke the build
her: (ignoring the explicit error message) it works on my machine, travis is broken
me: it doesn't even work on my machine!
her: I forgot to push one file, sorry.

My family is very supportive. My 2 aunts are working in technical fields, and at least 2 of my cousins are working in IT and one cousin is studying CS too. My dad works in IT and since I started my studies he always talks to me about his work, when he finds errors and bugs and rants about his colleagues :D He also helped me debug some code. My mom is supportive too, but sometimes when I mention to her that this and that is hard she goes: "Oh, what did you choose?" (Rhetorical question)
But all in all I'm happy. Reactions of "outsiders" are those which bother me sometimes. But that's a different story.

Scenario 1
Friend 1:"Hey, you're good at computers right?"
Me:"Erm yup."
Friend 1:"Can you hack Instagram? I've lost my password."
Me:"Oh My God."

Scenario 2
Me looking at a friend's unity C# code
Me:"You know there's an enter key right? Why is your code horizontal not vertical?"
(Means that after a semi-colon he continues his code)
Friend 2:"I like to read my code in horizontal, that feels natural to me"
Me:"What ever, as long as it works. But why do you have so many if function inside another if function?"
Friend 2:"Cuz I want the player to do this while moving"
Me:".........."

My wife has a colleague that has recently starting to use copilot and "AI" at work.
Wife said, that her code has been utter shit the last months because of it.
Nothing works.

Me at the new company:
My code doesn't work, I don't know why..
My code works!, But still I don't know why

I might have found out why non of my code works...

My manager thinks I am Superman! and he is so confident that can do any shit he wants me to do.

Yesterday he asked me to merge an ancient code hotfix (literally ancient) with latest branch of changes.

1. Hotfix is really old, most of the things are hardcoded, very specific to a stone age client.

2. Code documentation does not exist.

3. Developers of that code are probably dead.

4. Many Libraries which code uses are deprecated.

5. It's a legacy code, so no one has fucking idea what a particular clumsy block of code do, or what will happen if you remove it.

'if it runs don't touch it' policy by management.

Despite all this shit I successfully merged the the hotfix, refactored outdated code so as to run the application.

Showed this to my manager in full swag!

He was surprised at first, and asked me to show the code changes.

'Code review' was done by comparing files 😅

Manager: Dude, you have changed these lines, why? Explain.😧

Me: those lines won't work with new build, with new libs.☺️

Manager: then why can't you do old build with new changes?🙄

Me: umm.. wait... what???🤔

Manager: the code was working previously, it must be working even today without these changes.😡

Me: it was not working hence I made changes and now it's working fine see! ☺️

Manager: you have removed this, this and this!!! 😡

Me: but I also added that, that and that!😔

Manager: "don't touch it' if it works!"😡

Me: ... Idk what to say!
(In the back of my mind: "Don't touch it even it doesn't works!")😌

So, my boss is pretty cool. Two of my colleagues made a review of my code (me being new, also on job training). We three were sitting in front of my code, me explaining enthusiastically my code, one of my colleagues looked a bit confused. My boss listening to the whole conversation, he said: "Her code works perfectly". But the way he said it, priceless! I swear, he had a very 'bitchy' voice and also waved while saying that. He looked proud, and we started to laugh.

Be careful when you go down the rabbit hole of creating custom observables (rxJS).

I wasted half a day just to find out that there are hot and cold observables and that the whole time I tried to use the wrong one.

It finally works. 01:00 in the morning.
My boss will be proud when he pulls the changes and the code looks completely fucked up (clean, well structured code, but he doesn't really know observables).

Now something different: Sleep. Cya.

When your code works perfectly fine, and you go to dinner and return and the same code starts crashing.
And I'm like.....
.... Is my computer doing things on its own while I'm away from my desk?..... :/

Day 2 of my non tech manager reviewing PRs in order to “speed up QA” he’s taken to commenting on every PR with. “I don’t understand how this code works, we need to setup a meeting for you to explain it to me”. Amazing.

I noticed my co-worker has been using Atom editor for everything (we do Java/Scala). I asked, "So are you using the new language servers? How are you doing code completion?"

"I don't use code completion. I turn it off."

O_o "Do you not use screwdrivers? Like do you tighten screws in by hand?"

I've know people who code Java/Scala in emacs and vim, but they still had completion, type-lookups, etc. They was a higher learning curve in knowing all the keyboard commands, but all the tools were still there. I don't get people who refuse to use tools. It's reflected in this guys works too when looking at the code reviews.

When all you have is a hammer, everything is going to look like a nail.

Nothing makes me more suspicious than when my code runs and works on the first try

Wow VSCode has gotten a lot better for Web Dev. JSDocs actually works and can be used to find functions from other modules (aka real Intellisense).

This could change my feelings about JS... now just need to get everyone else on my team to document their shit... uhm... I mean code.

Source code works on my local machine, even when I present it to the relevant users; no body panics its all part of the plan. Place it on the server and it does not work AND EVERYONE LOSES THEIR MIND!

me: "my code works"
him: "no it doesnt, it crashes"
me: "..but it works on mine......"

and then i have to redo it again

Learned over Xmas, my brother-in-law works at a company with NO CENTRALIZED VERSION CONTROL. They just... pass around zip files of the latest code? Or something? Like jfc, even as a student we at least used TortoiseSVN!

I was ok with their marriage last summer, but now I feel that my sister deserves better. Can't imagine a company like that attracts the best and brightest. Here's hoping he actually exceeds the expectations, and leads the company into a glorious, gitty future.

While building a Java net sniffer app, I finally write the code to run a Linux binary in a separate process after three days. It works perfectly!

Then I export my app to a runnable jar file.

About nine exceptions are thrown, including a security exception. So much for being done. 😐

A functional system bar for my window manager in Go. It's so light on system resources that htop can barely report its system usage. Also, I haven't changed anything in the code in a year and it still works perfectly.

Instead of worrying about API rate limits I made my code manually parse the html from a website.

And the code still works great!

My highschool computer eng. teacher works in IT and he was telling us about one of his first days of working for a company and he said "Whenever we had a stupid client or customer, we'd tell each other that we had a 'one D ten T' as a code because it sounds professional. But really, it spells 1D10T"

Lame but it cracked us up and I thought I might share lol

Never thought I'd become one of those people who get really annoyed when my code works first time. I know I've made a mistake... why can't you be obvious!

I want to get in the habit of proper documentation of my code, But i'm not sure how it's formatted, how it should look or how I should even begin writing documentation? Do I open a document and just take snap shots of my code and explain how it works? I'm a little confused. Do I take pictures of my UI and explain how to use it? Is it like writing a book?

Progress. The backend is deployed and works on my server. Tomorrow, deploying my fronted code to work with the backend.

Got stucked in a problem with recursion in php, almost 2 days no sign of progress until i told my co worker how my code works, then i found the error and it work. I think developers need to talk about the code to realize whats wrong with the code.

So I'm not sure I understand this question fully, if it is meant only through code, than I guess none or those people I got to know while I was doing my algorithms and data structures project last semester where we were helping each other with our code
If it's meant generally through code related activities then I gained lots of friends in uni in classes and here on devRant of course and actually yesterday I got to talk unexpectedly about coding and programming languages on an event with a guy who actually studied financial maths in Vienna but now works as a tester and works with databases, that was nice

I have reached a stage in my career that when my code works in the first try, I'm more skeptical than excited about it.

Honestly? I was always good at maths and creativity. And so, programming was natural to me. I was always good at it with minimum effort. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

... Algorithms were a whole other story tho. I'm still not confident 'bout any algos I program from scratch. But hey, if it works, it works. (that became my motto about algos, kinda)

Forgot one thing tho: looking at relevant code to whatever I'm doing, be it in a tutorial or stackoverflow. I don't need the text or tutorial or explanation, I need to see code examples.

Had to look into some old code today and had the "Is this my code?! This can't be my code!? No one else worked on this code, so it must be mine... But, but, it's so... good! And clean! And logical! And well documented! This can't be mine... Can it!? Hey! It works!" moment.

How I feel when my code works.

Write a piece of code that works just fine and it's fairly extensible in 20 minutes.

Then proceed to spend the rest of your night rethinking and replacing said piece of code numerous times, with slightly more elegant code.

7 hours later and I'm still not done. Although a fine way to improve your skills, I seriously need to stop doing that for every single thing I write and start managing my time better. Got lots of other stuff I need to be working on...

Surely I can't be the only one doing this

Hi.. one month ago i started to learn JavaScript (my first programming language)
In the 2nd proyect we create a Data dashboard i do my very best effort to create Js funcional code and other 2 girls works in css and html.
Im really proud of my work (1st time!)
A few guys told me JavaScript is awful and difficult but in a few weeks we will start in jquery.
In 2 weeks im gonna participate in Angelhack Santiago Hackathon 2018
I need an advice for me its a really big step

I am scared... I'm scared because the code works.. but it shouldn't work I mean it's not supposed to get triggered and I have no idea what triggers it. It feels like my program got cursed and started doing things on it's own. I even put up blocks to stop the function from triggering but it still works... It always works.. I am scared...

Finished writing a microservice in NodeJS. Wrote tests, had clever optimisations, did profiling, the works. Lead dev says to me on a Friday evening to port my code to Java in 2 days. (Reason: to standardize everything) #FML

My code works at first run.
This can't be right.
Something must have gone terribly wrong.
I don't trust you computer!

Finally a night I can sleep knowing my code works!

I feel like an imposter. I am running an IOT startup alone and it's in development phase.
Product and the app ecosystem is working so well that it's scaring me. Other products are quite finicky. I haven't worked long enough. I imagined it would take an year to develop. My code is quite simple. I just don't know why it's working so well compared to the works of others. I am scared I missing something huge.
I am in depression because work is going smoother than my expectations.

Once in corporate stuffy devland a major monopoly-in-their-field client was raging at our tiny company and trying to scrutinize everything we did for whatever reason

The client's head huncho, some department head below the execs or something, insisted he have a code review meeting with the lead developer, which was me, and scrutinize my code in a 2 hour impromptu meeting one random Tuesday. Up until this point I was not allowed to even be introduced to the client so I'm a little ticked my company is throwing me under the bus like this.

So I get into this call, share my screen, guy is raging and asking questions left and right about every line I had written, firing, fuming, shouting... But it's clear he doesn't know how code works. So then I start teaching him how variable assignments work and function calls... He got so bored he left the meeting in 30 minutes and it was never spoken of again lmao

I don´t know what my code is doing there.

But it works.

I hate wen my code works perfectly; then all of a sudden a million errors popup out of nowhere. 😠😠😠

I'm going to be that guy .... A lot of these rants are about code compiling first time .. Throwing away code you wrote because you didn't need it... Getting in the zone and writing a billion lines before you compile .... Am I the only freaking person here that does TDD ? My rant is wake up people ! People evangelize about it because it fucking works !

Two states of a developer every day:

• Fuck this job. I hate everyone and everything. My code sucks. It's not working. Why did I choose this career?! I am so miserable.

• It works! I'm a programmer god. Oh my goodness I'm smarter than everybody.

well, fuck... how about everything that works in visual studio but feels like garbage in VS Code???

don't get my wrong I use VS Code for every other language... but C# has just always felt better in visual studio than in VS Code. oh well

I really want to see the source code for pokemon go even though I'm 100% certain I'll be unable to understand it I just want to look at it and try to learn how it works

But I'll probably never see the source in my life :(

So... Today I started using my first Python web framework, web2py. At a first glance I liked it, the templating system, the view/controller thing ecc. But there is one thing in frameworks that I really don't like: they make me feel dumb.
I mean, in just one line of code I can generate an entire form, but if I wanna customize it a little bit... I can't. Or better, it is very hard, also if there is a bug, I have to look for a problem in an entire system that I DID NOT wrote.
I don't like the idea that the frameworksl handles everything for you, like it is teasing me, I don't even know how it works, it just works, and man, I don't like it. There's some kind of hacker in me, I dont like a system that just works, I want to know how it works. But the sad thing is that I will have to learn web frameworks if I want to work in the IT, right? Please If you can help me or share your experience with web frameworks do so.

I fixed my big data processing code, I think. If all works as planned, I'll wake up to some processed data that I can do some statistical analysis on... I hope...

Client: This feature is already present in one of my other projects, you just need to copy paste it.

Me: Ohh, I will have a look at it :)

What I felt: Nothing in code works with 'just copy paste!! Bitch.

AND YOU ARE THE 100TH PERSON TELLING ME THAT, SO...... YOU HAVE DIE!

**Day 2 of glaring at the code.😩 The bits are collapsing in front of my eyes into bytes and the glaring dark theme of sublime engraves the code into my retinas. Is it day or is it night? I can no longer tell. Having scoured every corner of the internet and applying every fix I can find the bug persists... was I ever destined to program? For the doubt eclipses my hope of ever seeing the light. I peer over the edge of the world into the abyss and the abyss... **

"Wait 🔎, shouldn't there be apostrophes' in here? MOTHERF-" 😡😠💥☠

**tests**

**works**

*glee* 😄

"God, I love programming!" 😃

Best Programmer's Breakup:
* me * used to code in Javascript and PHP
* Girl * Also a Programmer

Me: You are a semicolon to my code.
Girl: Awwwwwww.. That's so sweet.
Me: * Trying to breakup * I recently switched to Python and want to use only a single language now.

* It Works! *

P.S.: Still use all three Languages ❤

It's terrible how my mood is greatly dependent on whether my code works or not.

Feeling like shit at the moment.

Why won't you just approve my PR???

Whats wrong with you?!

I don't understand your cryptic one-sentence feedback. I'm not even sure you understand what you're asking yourself.

What the hell does "make it a transaction" mean? Don't give me pseudo-code examples that don't even work fucking asshole!

Its a small change that does NOT need a canary build dammit. Don't go testing the ORM, its a goddamn standard library. Why does working with you make everything so complicated?!?!

The code fucking works! There is no need to make it comply to your specific tastes goddamn it. Working with you is like pulling teeth!

/endrant

"I am the code of my program
HTML is my body and CSS my blood
I have created over a thousand websites
Unknown to Google,
Nor to hosters.
Have withstood sleep to create many websites
Yet those hands will never earn anything
So as I pray, limited budget works"

There was a task of fixing up a payments page that features pretty complex logic. Initially it was like 200 lines of code, seems short but it was a fucking spaghetti mess. Never seen more cognitively complex code in my life.

So I delete the spaghetti and pull out the 500 lines fucking state machine. It works perfectly. It’s perfectly understandable even though it’s longer.

This is how I deal with problems. Shorter code isn’t always better code.

Holy shit, my first freelance project will be field-tested for the first time tomorrow!

After a few more rounds of fixing bugs, some serious improvements, and some new features additions, I can actually say that I'm proud of the code I've written! It's not perfect, but I definitely like the way it works - AND IT ACTUALLY WORKS!

Knock on wood, hopefully it won't shit the bed tomorrow.

My code works exactly as intended, the first time, every time.

Well I feel like an idiot thanks to my IT teacher. This guy, this fucking guy thinks that we’re seeing computer for the first time. He’s literally saying “You see this black bar on the bottom? That’s taskbar.”. It’s like he’s teaching 7 years old childs 😤
But the worst part is my class mated don’t know such basics! They don’t know how binary code works, what is motherboard, how to login to school domain on Windows.

But on the flip side, they look at me like at the God 😏

While sitting in a train (5 hours trip) I really want to code something, unfortunately I dont have my laptop with me, so i just connected with ssh from my phone to my ubuntu vps, created some project via npm and use android app to edit the code. It is not perfect but works. Someone else code like that?

My productivity hack? I code in the shower and use a water whiteboard. I have to be up very early and feel the most clear headed right when I wake up.

If I'm stumped on something, I can usually tackle it from a new perspective. For the most part it works out. Other then the occasional profanity if I accidentally erase something and the sometimes longer than usual showers, my wife doesn't mind. Usually because it's 5 in the morning and when she takes a shower there is this scribble that she tries to decode!

I've never been a frontend guy, I only could modify existing FE code and had some clues about how to write a hello-world using angular.

I've just refactored ~150 files in an Angular project, created half a dozen new modules and modularized lots of loose artefacts.

And after recompiling the project still works! And is now more maintainable!

I think I now can safely add "Angular" to my resume :)

P.S. Damn it, Angular is cool!!!

I would say my biggest insecurity is not getting (enough) useful straightforward feedback from my boss about how I work.
I have a tendency to take a bit longer than others, but deliver code that rarely has to be fixed.
Some of it may appear overengineered but it really isn't... I just like it clean and not hacky.
There are times my boss seems like telling me subconciously that I take too long for my stuff, but then again, he is really happy when we deliver a big thing to a customer and it just works, without any bugs or negative feedback.
It sometimes drives me nuts. 😅

Whenever I have to ask about how certain code of someone else works, I feel bad. I feel like I should be able to figure it out on my own.
On the other hand, if people ask me to implement something within their code, that I am not familiar with, I kinda expect more info? Like if you don't have any tutorials or documentation on your tool, be prepared to answer some stupid questions about how to set it up and whatnot. How else am I gonna know how to start with? Having to read the entire source code is a massive waste of time, no?

tl;dr: if you don't provide documentation or tutorials, be ready to answer stupid questions.

Working on my personal projects really shows me how rushed the work is were I work, and it drives me crazy.

I know my code works 100% in my current project as it is unit and e2e tested, so I can edit it until the cows come home.. at work though, different story.

So according to my manager its not really acceptable for me to sit at my desk and vent about what a colossal idiot my Tech Lead is. Fair enough i suppose. even though he feels the need to chime in on every technical decision when he himself doesnt understand how async code works. he thinks you can set a variable inside a promise and then return that variable outside the promise, because its after the call. This guy is a senior software engineer on an iOS team and I, a trainee, have more iOS experience than him.

Skype password lost -> reset email -> new password given -> login failed on skype client -> login via website -> invalid password -> reset password -> first enter code by email -> done -> assign new password -> login via password -> someone else is using your account, you have to change the password -> first ensure you are you by enter a code -> code entered -> change password -> password changed -> finally login works
Way to go Microsoft!

so I just changed my password 3 times in the last 5 minutes to get access to skype... for a call we finally made via whatsapp... now I will remove skype again until next year, when I have to make that famous "once a year" call with skype

My brain these days-
1] Okay I will get this done today
2] Oh wait how does this work
3] What the hell is happening
4] Going deeper down the rabbit hole
5] I am so lost. HELP
6] Okkk, this makes sense, but I have to figure out how another 10 parts of the code, to see how it works and then add my code
7] I wanna give up.

I think I'm a good developer. I have pretty decent debugging skills, including pulling apart disassembled x86 and other architecture code.

I'm fascinated by how things work.

But almost everything is catered for by a library. Or has already been done.

I find it enjoyable to create a library or program myself, but get disheartened when I find some library or program that is written seemingly very well, compared to my own code. And then I start to think I'm not a good developer after all.

Sort of relates to my previous rant about repeatedly rewriting code.

Applies to me doing programming as a hobby but probably affects my code at work as well... I just can't help but think my code is probably awful compared to what someone else might write.

...then I see incredibly ugly, messy, badly written code by other people and I feel better...

I suppose it is like an artist who sees amazing works but cannot paint to that standard, but is well beyond drawing stick figures with crayons.

Sounds like a trivial problem but it probably impedes my progress with a lot of things.

It works locally, it works in Dev, it works in Test, but fails to deploy in UAT. Is it a data issue? I don't know, I don't have permissions to see the UAT database. Literally all I know is that this API is returning 500 instead of what it's supposed to return, but only sometimes.

Guess I'll sit here all day and try to solve the problem telepathically as there is literally no way of troubleshooting other than scrolling through the code and hoping that a cartoon lightbulb appears above my head.

So I'm trying to get used to using vim and I've spent a couple of days setting up my vimrc and practising commands and what not.

Come today I'm doing my first proper coding session and my codes sending back weird errors and I can't work out why

Then when I read very carefully I find :w somewhere it's not supposed to be... Of course I'd forgetten to enter normal mode a ton of times and now my code is littered with :wq and :w so I spent a few minutes combing my code to find them all and it all works now.

Am I an elite hacker now?

I hate dev politics...

PM: Hey there is a weird error happening when I upload this file on production, but it works on our test environments.

Me: After looking at this error, I don't find any issues with the code, but this variable is set when the application is first loaded, I bet it wasn't loaded correctly our last deployment and we just need to reload the application.

Senior Dev: We need to output all of the errors and figure out where this error is coming from. Dump out all the errors on everything in production!!

Me: That's dumb... the code works on test... it's not the code.. it's the application.

Senior dev: %$*^$>&÷^> $

Me: Hey I have an idea! If test works... I can go ahead and deploy last week's changes to prod and dump those errors you were talking about!!

Senior Dev: OK

Me: *runs Jenkins job the deploys the new code and restarts the application*

PM: YAY you fixed it!!

Senior Dev: Did you sump put those errors like I said.

Me: Nope didn't touch a thing... I just deployed my irrelevant changes to that error and reloaded the application.

It completely changed the course of my life!
I started learning to code because I was curious how mobile apps works. I blew through my self guided learning and needed more. Flash forward two years and I am working as a web developer! My projects are challenging but I've been learning insanely fast and I can't wait to see where I am two years from now.

Favourite item has to be our coding monkey. He sits next to me and every time I can't figure out some code I leave him on my keyboard and have a break, hoping he'll fix it for me... Never works but there's always hope!

When you don't get a server 500 error on your JDBC application.

Writing my code, go to run it and boom its not working. I pull up stack over flow to get some insight. At this point i was working on my code for countless hours and became a bit annoyed so i decided to copy what someone wrote on stack over flow delete my code where i thought it was flawed. I run it and Blam bugged the hell outa my code. So i undo go back to my original. Turn to a friend and ask what do you thinks going wrong. He resets my browser and there it goes it works. I just kind of gave him a blank stare and thought to myself Im a dumbass!

TL; DR;
I'm one with code and the code is one with me.

Everything in my life has been inconsistent and as soon as I start building expectations from someone or something, it disappoints. Be it my friends (😂😂) or my ex girlfriend or my studies or my college or my professors or work, or food (sometimes).

Coding, or programming, has been the only consistent and non disappointing thing since 2010 for me. It just works. If I write a wrong program, I know its why and where its wrong and then fixing it works. Sometimes it works in one go. And sometimes is works beyond my expectations. Its like coding chose me rather than me chosing coding.

Everytime I run my code and it works. It's the little things in life lol

So I'm writing this code, that does 2 important things, that cannot be seperated. I run the code, thing1 is correctly executed, thing2 not. No fucking idea, why this happens. Execute again, same result. Debugg the wohle thing, now everything works fine.
WHAT?
I check the code, there are no background tasks, no paralell processing, nothing that should go wrong.
Asking a Senior developer for help, he also has no fucking idea. He tells me to try to wait one second between the two things. Looking for a delay() or wait() function in my programming language but there is none. Ok, building my own delay, writing a "do 1000 times" loop, calculate some shit in it. Execute the code, it works perfectly.

Nobody has a fucking idea, why this is happening and why this solution is working, but now the code is productive and it works fine.

My most anxious moments are when I don't know why my code works.

legends:- This code works on my machine!!

Today I submitted my code without making sure it doesn't have any bugs because I was running out of time. Fuck.

Let's hope I'm brilliant and this works out.

I have this ux intern next to me and like every programmer i’m cursing on my code daily and she made a remark today like: it never works for you does it?

-_-‘ SHUTUP!

WHY WON'T YOU LET ME HAVE THE SATISFACTION?!!

My code works, their test case is garbage.. 😒

Hmm. This code needs refactoring.
*recodes on Local and uploads*
Works on my branch.
*git push origin master and merge*
Works on Dev.
*deploy to Test*
Works on Test.
*deploy to Live*
Doesn't work.
*compares Live to Test, Dev, and Local*
No f$@%^%%$# difference!?!!

*quits development and lives under a bridge*

Started a new job as junior developer. One of my first task was to sent a simple notification on an event in out product. Write the code, test that it works, push to devops.

Code compiles, tests pass, it’s deployed to internal test env. Check that my notification works in the test env. No problem.

It’s deployed to the customers test environment. It works and customer accepts it for prod.

We release to prod and of course it fails. Seems to be a simple string.Format that fails for god knows why. After 3h of debugging on prod without success we decide to roll it back.

Today we decided to try it on a backup of the prod db since one of the strings was taken from the db. Still working. No matter what data I input when trying it locally it still wont reproduce the issue we saw on prod.

Fuck this

I get really angry when my friend (has only ever taken a web design class in high school that taught only basic html) tries to preach to me that you shouldn't have to worry about writing readable code along with documenting it so long as it works the way you want it to.

My first time doing a pair-programming for uni assignment.
My partner is actually smart (a Mechanical Engineering guy), except when it comes to programming :
1. Don't know how to spell FALSE
2. Don't know how to create array in Matlab
3. Poor variable naming
4. Redundant code everywhere
5. Not using tabs
6. Stealing my idea and spit it again in my face after claiming it as his idea
7. Mansplaining every line of his code like I am a stupid person who never sees a computer before.

He said he has an experience in Matlab, wants to specialize in Robotics and taking several ML classes. What did they teach anyway in class to produce a shitty programmer like him?

Thankfully despite his being an arrogant shitty guy, he still manage to get our code to works.
That's good because if not, then I will happily push his head under water while slowly watching him drown.

🤨

Hi guys!

I never thought that this day will come, be here is my first rant with a big dose of frustration.

So, I'm working on the API team of one of ower products and a coworker that works on the webapp has a lot of problems (don't want to be mean, but he has problems like 'i can't catch a 404 http status, please send a 200 with a message' ) and he always go and wines about the API and that he can't do his job because the API is faulty...

But it is not the case, every functionality of the API is well tested and it works as it should.

So, tonight I was the only one left from my team and the project manager comes and
starts asking me about why I am returning http status codes with all my responses, how the login works and other stuff like that...

Just wasted more than an hour to prove that all the code that I wrote works as expected...

I don't understand some developer's thought processes when they fix a bug/issue.

Let's say the error is -> "Cannot read property id of undefined".

My first thought is to add a check for undefined and null and figure out if further code should be executed if a null or undefined is encountered, depending on what the code is supposed to do.

But some devs are like, "Yesterday the sunrise was at 5:30 AM, Earth's rotational axis is titled at 15 degrees to the left, My aunt asked me about how I am doing today, so therefore the bug fix is required at line 65,456 of this particular kernel file".

And they implement it, and it WORKS.

Weird.

Fellow C# programmers, how often do you use #region in your projects and how important do you think it is?

I have found myself using it increasingly. It works great for me and I feel that I can structure my code better.

My senior colleague recently said "Don't go around asking for best practices, it's a waste of time! Just try stuff until it works and commit it".

We were talking about writing code in a new language.

“Huddles don't work in safari 🤡,” Slack said.
Develop → User Agent → Google Chrome.
Boom, huddles suddenly work in Safari, and my today's huddle went absolutely fine.

Yep, I switched to Safari as my default browser. Previously, I didn't use it solely because YouTube's full-screen mode acted weird, but now I quit watching YouTube altogether.

Safari is a stellar browser. First, it wipes the floor with everything, even including Thorium, in the performance department (on Apple Silicon at least). Second, it's really beautiful with its new inline tab panel, where you have just one line of icons on top, instead of having two (tabs and url bar). DevTools are amazing. It can also connect to my iPhone's Safari via Wi-Fi and inspect the opened page — a must-have for heavy layouts. Plus, if my website works fine in Safari, it sure as hell will work fine everywhere. Safari is a great hack detector, as it won't tolerate dirty hacks. Works wonders for your code discipline.

New in my job
Start to work on a abandoned project for one of our client not very happy cause the lack of update
Go for a critical issue which exists since 2 months where everyone was telling me that they passed a huge time working on it with no answer
*check error*
*check code*
The code is so fucking much not DRY so I was able to see the same 4-5 incriminated lines elsewhere
*see that the request is lacking of one parameters just has the error suggests*
*copy paste the missing line*
*it works*

I’m now a hero for them but they become fucking peasants for me

(In addition, when code reviewing, some one had the nerve to tell me that “haha it was nothing much finally, it was easy”
To him : fuck you, eat my 💩)

Code works in my local 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

I have a few colleagues who code best when slightly drunk. So I gave it a try a couple of times. That didn't work - I immediately felt drowsy and sleepy.

In general, I don't drink. I like it when my mind is razor-sharp and works better than a swiss watch, and even tiny amounts of alcohol spoil that clockwork for me. So drunk coding is not for me.

It works. My code fucking works. It shouldn't. I got tons of errors, I changed to some obscure shit, expecting it to fail, but it fucking works. I should be happy, but I'm mad for not understanding how.

When my tests pass AND CI succeeds. Or just when my php code works haha

I always try to break my code when it works without errors the first time.

Just to be sure that the code I wrote is being used.

Anyone else?

I've been working on a shader for the past few days. Lots of doing math on paper and switching to code to implement it. Yesterday after 3 or 4 hours of trying to figure out why nothing is rendering, I realized that I wrote all my * for multiplication as x. Visual Studio never let me know its a syntax error, and my fried brain saw no issue. Needless to saw my shader is still bugged to hell, but at least my multiplication works.

Spent an hour trying to figure out why Chrome wouldn't work at all. Even IE was working on my laptop.
Restarted the whole thing.
Now it works.....and I already lost most of my motivation to code. Just great...

When I hit the endpoint from Postman it works. When I hit the endpoint from my application that pushes data to the endpoint it doesn't work, returning a 404 status code. I KNOW the endpoint is there and operational and that both Postman and my application have the same endpoint configured, letter for letter.

So lost. So confused. What the hell is going on.

I decide to install Fiddler to monitor the traffic to see if I can see anything helpful.

I initiate the request again from the application and immediately see that the request size is huge. BAM. It immediately hits me, the payload to the endpoint is too big and the server is "rejecting" it with a 404. I post a smaller request with the application and it works fine.

Yay, saved by Fiddler.

Why does the endpoint default to 404 in such scenarios. The definition of 404: "the client was able to communicate with a given server, but the server could not find what was requested"

In my case, the 404 returned was a red herring. I understand that the substatus code gives more information on why the 404 was returned, in my case the request size being too big, but 404 in general feels like the wrong status code to return because the endpoint IS there. It made me troubleshoot the wrong thing.

Thanks, IIS.

Me using numpy.polyfit() to fit a function to some data. Blame polyfit for not being accurate, search the web to find any related problems, as the polynom doesn't fit at all. Polynom is of 2nd degree, polyfit becomes unstable at about degree 20?? Try Polynomial.fit() ... same results. How can they all be wrong???See a little typo in my code, calculating the polynom points. Fix it, everything works.... wasted 2 and a half weeks because of this error.🤦🤦

I spent my last two hours trying to understand why my code wasn't working... Turns out that if i write this.item.lenght instead of this. item.length it will never works.

Thans to cscode also, who never corrects me when i write lenght.

> uses two workstations
> Forgets to commit code on one before moving to the other
> Works on the other and pushes
> Brain does what it's great at and forgets how to reset to HEAD
> Brain convinces me the only way to handle the issue was to commit my half-working code and then pull
It was only 5 o'clock. What the fuck.

I begin by just writing my ideas and them attempting to roughly image their execution in my head, and then start to write the code. I found this method to pose the smallest amount of holdups and issues. Of course, you might have to rethink some procedures but it mostly works.

My app is finally on the Apple App Store.

The rant: how bloody difficult was it to get on there?! They scrutinise EVERYTHING. My promo copy, my screengrabs and also it seems that there is code that works on iPhone that doesn’t work on iPad.

I thought it was designed to be the same for ease of development? However I found a function that works perfectly well on iPhone but breaks iPad.

Anyway I guess in the long run this keeps the App Store’s quality level high and it isn’t the Wild West like the google play store. However it’s still pretty annoying. I can see why devs get angry about Apple’s process.

My code works.
Well, it should, but not like this.
I've set some datas to a nested form,  saved by a variable named 'stat1', however the code won't work unless I use a variable named 'fields'. Not 'stat1'. I'm only 24 years old and I already feel too old for this shit.

Tomorrow I'll have my Java exam. Teacher sent us a code example and I analyzed it, it works correctly but it's full of mistakes about polymorphism. I'm fucking afraid

Worst architecture: the stack compiler I wrote. I basically just made my own shitty webpack.

The idea was simple: Babel to minified JS, Scss to minified CSS, and HTML to minified HTML. Made in Node JS, of course. (perhaps that’s where I went wrong!)

The thing works... and I use it... but boy is it bad. It even broke on my current project (which is for a client so...) and I’m having to work around my own god damn code.

I really need to revisit it and redo it.

I'm most excited about Smart Contracts & Distributed Applications.

In early January I started learning Solidity thinking it would be super difficult but was pleasantly surprised when I'd completed my first DApp in a couple days. Two months on and I've finished 3 major projects and launched my own Udemy course.

I'm not a big follower of Crypto Currencies at all and haven't become financially invested in anything really. I just love the way development works on a blockchain; it is quite interesting and It feels really fresh solving problems using code that will become immutable.

In SublimeText, I noticed that my markdowns formatting was not showing up correctly— I decided to download the new markdown package altogether hoping for some kind of update/fix. Turns out the package comes with a super ugly color theme which overrides the default theme of SublimeText. After some googling and experimenting, I found way to override this through the package settings. I always use git through my terminal but I thought let’s try to use git through my code editor and see how it works. I downloaded the git package but then I notice that git tool shows status and all correctly but doesn’t push files to GitHub (it says fatal: unable to read current working directory). Then I download another application called SublimeMerge. It works correctly on its own (pushes files to GitHub) but SublimeText is still not doing the same. Then I tinker around with my SSH keys hoping for a fix, but nothing works. I even go to stackoverflow and search for a solution but I find nothing (I even wrote a post asking for a solution but no replies till now). Fuck it! I now open the file with VSCode. Open terminal within VSCode and add/push/commit through it and everything works perfectly. So goodbye SublimeText I guess 👋🏾

My code doesn't work> I have no idea why !
My code works> I have no idea why !
........ :-/ ........

It depends, really. Sometimes it's a spontaneous urge, sometimes it's me drinking and coding whilst doing so.
Sometimes it's a lot of coffee as mentioned in another post commenting on this week's topic.

Regarding the drinking: for some reason my code works and I write more in less time.
Un-fucking-believeable.

Ok ok ok, I will preface this by saying I am still a student so you can assume my complete and utter lack of experience.

There is all this fuss about unit testing and TDD but i still have my doubts about it. How is it that if your code works for certain inputs you can be sure that it will work for whatever can happen after deployment?

I mean, to my understanding testing can assure that some business requirements are cared for but as far as actual code correctness goes I don't see how that is achieved.

As far as i am concerned the closest it comes to complete code correctness is a mathematical type of proof but that should be impossible to be done effectively in an OO language.

How can you be sure that your code is what you think?

(If i have this all wrong please correct me)

I just realized that I subconsciously believe more lines of code means slower code.

It's not intellectual. I understand that little lines of code often are just calling other code. That this is not how Big O works or does not replace benchmarking and that some data structure requires a lot of code for immense speed up. E.g: B-Trees with sizes at page size for big amounts of data read from a secondary storage location.

But still, when I see a function with just 3 to 5 lines, my inner monkey believes it must be fast.

Know your biases, I guess.

Things which make me feel badass tester (and dev too) are: dark themed IDEs, using command prompt/ terminal (still as exciting), and when my code actually works lol

Swagger superposition: the generated server now works but the local hosted editor does not connect. I look at one screen and wonder: "Why does this work?" and then at my other screen (same code, same port) and think "Why DOESN'T this work?"

So I feel like looking up solutions for my code is cheating, so I try to do it on my own for hours. Nothing I try works and the solution is usually something really simple and I feel like I'm never going to understand..

I've noticed that lately I've not been putting a lot of effort in making my code clean, and in learning new stuff, too. If it works, that's enough for me. I just made some endpoints in node and it's the biggest callback hell you'll ever see, but I don't fucking care, tbh. Is it time for me to change my work field? Have you ever felt this way?

Trying to put together all the code of my ajax request into a function so I do not repeat myself. The code works perfectly outside but not in the function. Well fuck JavaScript. I've been stuck here for two days.

Argh my Macook Pro utterfly keyord no longer works! How am I suppose to code now?

Finally got my first dev job. I am looking at the code base for my company. And it’s like I know how to code in this language. But I don’t know half of the advanced shit they’re doing. I understand they have more experience than me. But I’m just not sure how to catch up to them. Or be even on the same level as them? I guess just more out of office learning?

I can read what they’re putting in the code and understand how it works. But like how they came up with it I have no clue. I guess I’ll learn over time and have to put in some extra man hours.

Someone >_>: My code works and I know why
Someone else >_>: My code works and I don't know why
Me >_>: My code doesn't work and I don't know why

the Death Valley of PR approval

I have almost 3 years of work experience in programming professionally. Currently this is my second company. Previous company I worked for was very loose regarding clean code, code readability, tests etc. It was their way of doing things fast, making working changes quickly was the most important thing due to its business. Now I work in company where I spend a lot of time in some limbo when my code works and my code is merged. It sucks, I make all kinds of mistakes which would be tolerable in my previous workplace, but now it keeps me from releasing code. I now the way I do things now is the right way and it will result in me growing as a specialist, but it is very frustrating and damages my self esteem. I hope it will pass one day.

I submit all my code changes to the integration stream. Co worker integrates my code removes all my changes that breaks his hacky crap. Then complains his stuff doesn't work. I ask him why he he did not conform to the requirments says cause this is what worked before. I look at code see he assigns a value in the message to zero. I ask ever so politely why he is changing the incomming messages. He says this is what works. I Then send an email to him telling him this in an error. He reply saying this it what works. At stand up he complains and says no messages are getting through it doesn't work. The team tells him to revert to the original code. (My code) and update his code after two days of emails to bosses and complaining he reports it works with my code after he is done. He is the senior senior chief grand Pooba and makes more money than me.

Don't refractor for fun!

An anecdote from my previous company. A developer had written a shitty java console app for fetching stock prices. About 3000 LOC. just one java GOD class. So, when me and my friend looked at it, we were amazed how that code works with all that if conditions spanning 100LOC. so. My dear friend underestimated the complexity. Since it just fetches stock price and puts in database right. I can write it in few days and much better one. So, he started writing code in an OO way. Three days later I see he still working on it. Having a glimpse at code. The app is now Object oriented shitty and ugly.

Guess what new code never goes in prod too.

Learning
Don't underestimate complexity of app.
Be empathic about fellow developer. Don't think he has written a shitty code. Think why he had to do so.
Don't work on refractors if there is no one to guide you.

When my code works!

So my friend had an idea for a game and asked me if I could help him develop it. Now, he understands how the code works and can even write quite a bit himself. On several occasions (including today) this happened:

*writes code*
*tests code*
Me: Hmm... this isn't working like it's supposed to
Friend: It looks pretty good, maybe check to see if everything is in the right order
*checks code*
*tries alternative solution*
*checks again*
Me and friend: Well this is even worse than before
*presses ctrl+z a lot to go back to the original*
*opens new project*
*writes new code for same purpose*
*checks code*
Both of us: IT WORKS!!!
*checks again just to be sure*
Both of us: IT STILL WORKS!!!
*compares new code to original code*
Me: It's the exact same code with different variable names!!! Why did this not work before?
Friend: No idea
*puts new code into main program*
*it still doesn't work*

Reasons Java makes me cry sometimes

How is it called when I rant about something my colleagues experienced and I just supported his debug session? Third party rant? Anyway, here's the thing.

Other team built some project specific code right in the heart of their software, which in itself would be worth a rant. But as you might guess, it's getting rantier.

For a new project the same code is used, but needed some tweaks. Now guess what happened:
1) Someone took the code, refactored it, made project specific stuff configurable, everything works fine now
2) Someone changed the code completely for the new project, everything seems to work fine for 5 months, then the old project needed a new release 💣