Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
Sometime I’m developing in Rust and I do something wrong.
Then I look at the terminal and it says...
“You did X, did you mean to do Y”
Then I do it and it works perfectly, and I’m like...
Why do I even have a job if the compiler is this good?10 -
Manager: "How long do you think this will take?"
My brain:
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Me: "Shouldn't take too long"4 -
User: oh! An error message.
Message : Problem XY has occurred. Do YX to fix the problem.
User: Ok I try everything except what it says. ...
Ok that didn't work. I ask the IT
IT: Have you tried what it says?
User: no I didn't know ...
IT:ok do it.
User: 0.o It worked! why do we pay you if it is so easy?
Every goddamn time 🤦🏻♂️3 -
Me: Mom, I'm learning a new programming language
Mom: How is it called
Me: go
Mom: do u like it?
Me: yes, it's pretty
Mom: do u like it more than linux?
41 -
A : What you do for living ?
B : I'm a Software Engineer
A : Hmmm what ?
B : I do IT
A : Ohh, so you do IT. Cool
😊15 -
The past 2 years where I work:
Me: hey let's use git instead of ftp!
Boss: should we?
Some time later: he is loving it...
Me: hey let's use trello instead of excell!!??!
Boss: huumm.. Dunno... Should we?
After much convincing: whole departments are using and loving it....
Me: hey let's move from rackspace to DO!
Boss: huumm... Convince me...
Year latter: everything smooth and muuuch lower prices... Managing 6 servers instead of one...
Me: UNIT TESTS!!!
Boss: nah, this but a waste of time...
For real? Get a grip man, I only encourage solutions tested ( no pun intended, or is it ) by me for a long time...4 -
This is why you DONT deploy in a Friday!
Now can we all agree to stop disagreeing!
Ps: I love CommitStrip sometimes.
2 -
Git Pull Failed, Merge Conflict.
Me:
don't do it
don't do it
don't do it
don't do it
don't do it
don't do it
don't do it
Me:
Delete local project folder and pull the project down again.13 -
UPDATE: devRant Trans-Oceanic Journey Community Project
It was a mere 12 days ago that I asked the question; 'Could devRanters, as a community, build a 21st Century Technology-Laden ‘devRant devie-Stressball-in-a-Bottle’ and send it on a journey across the Atlantic ocean?
I am thrilled to report that devRanters enthusiastically accepted this difficult challenge. A core team quickly formed and a tremendous amount of research and progress has been made in a short period of time. I want to give you a high level-flavor of what we are doing. Please keep in mind we still need your help. We welcome all develops to take part in this journey.
I want to give appreciation to the devRant Founders @dfox and @trogus. Without your support and sponsorship this project would not have been possible. devRant brought us together and it a reality. Devie journeying across the Ocean the Columbus sailed will stir the imagination of children and adults worldwide when we launch on May 1, 2017.
Some of the research and action items in progress:
- Slack and trello environments were created to capture research and foster discussion.
- A Stony Brook University Oceanography Professor suggested the Gulf Stream would be a good pathway across the ocean. We researched it very and agree. The Gulf Stream has been a trans-Atlantic conduit for hundreds of years. We are deciding whether to launch from Cape Hatteras, NC or the Virginia coast. Both have easy access to the rapid currents in the Gulf Stream.
- We are researching every detail of the Gulf Stream to make the journey easier and faster for devie. We have maps and a team member gathered valuable ideas reading a thorough book – ‘The Gulf Stream’.
- We decided on using a highly resilient plastic rather than glass for the bottle material. Plastic is much lighter, faster and glass breaks down more easily. The lightweight enclosure will allow us to take full advantage of waves and ample trade winds. We are still discussing the final design as we want to minimize friction and mimic the non-locomotion fish that migrate thousands of miles riding the Gulf Stream.
-The enclosure might be 3D printed unless we can locate a commercial solution. We have 3D specs and are speaking with some experts. There are advantages and dis-advantages to each solution.
- We will be using Iridiums' RockBLOCK two-way satellite technology to bounce lat-long coordinate pings off their 36 low-orbit satellites. The data will be analyzed by our devRant devie analysis software. IOS and Android public apps being built by the team will display devie's location throughout the journey in.
- Arduino will be used as the brains
- Multiple sensors including temperature and depth are being considered
-A project plan will be published to the team Friday 12/9. Sorry I am a few days late but adding some new ideas.
There are still a lot of challenges we must overcome and we will.
That’s all for now. I will send updates and all ideas / comments are valued.
6 -
Seriously anyone who doesn't use english names for variables and shit, get the fuck out! I don't care how many dicks you sucked, don't fucking do it!
I'm working on redoing a somewhat big database with a small team and the fuckers who designed the new database decided to use danish names everywhere and misspell shit! What the fuck are you doing!
Who the fuck calls it a birthdate? and misspells the danish equivalent?
And what the fuck is this, using _id and ID like they are the fucking same thing!?!
For the love of all that is holy, stick to english, one naming convention and check your crap spelling!
AARGH!19 -
Project manager, a few months ago: "why did you do this task? It's all wrong. It's a backend task, not a frontend task so you shouldn't have done it. Don't do it again."
PM, today, regarding the same task in a different project: "why didn't you do this task? The project isn't complete without it. It isn't right. You should have done it."
Are you fucking serious? If we do it it's wrong, if we don't do it it's wrong too. So why should I bother? Seriously, fuck you you piece of shit.2 -
Module build failed: Module failed because of a eslint error.
217:15 error 'param' is assigned a value but never used no-unused-vars
Me:
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Me:
console.log(param);9 -
When a friend asks to create a website for his startup for free. FML 😔 I got bills to pay. Will he provide his service for free??14
-
Yeah sure, you can have your site files and database. Host it yourself. Get your cousin to maintain it. Go ahead. Yeah, sure, you're gonna do ~really~ well. Bye bye, ya micro-managing fuck nugget :D3
-
The most important part of compiling is whispering "Come on, you can do it, you can do it" to the server.1
-
Found this one in Facebook 😂 This one seems quite popular and IDK if someone's posted it here yet.
6 -
Dad: [this company] is coming to town soon.
Me: I know
Dad: yeah maybe you can get a IT job
Me: I dont do IT
Dad: You never know what you do until you do it.
Me: *getting an aneurism from sheer ignorance*
I DO IT EVERY DAY HOW WOULD I NOT KNOW WHAT IM DOING THAT I EVEN WENT TO SCHOOL FOR?17 -
Decided I'm going to tell my boss I'm no longer going to do wordpress.
It all started innocently, like helping someone find an option or something, but now I have to write plugins...
Not part of the deal.
I've also got 0 motivation to go to work since starting this shitty project. I used to want to go to work and looked forward to helping out, but this is just soul numbing.
Let's see how that goes (either tomorrow or Wednesday).
I'll let you guys know if I get fired :p14 -
Last week one of my non-dev coworkers asked if any of us knew java and I was like "yeah, think I can help you" then she showed me her JavaScript issue and I was like:
"Wtf, people really do this shit..." -
It makes me feel like a whore when looking for jobs.
I don't really wanna do it, but I'm in a situation where i have to do it to survive.6 -
About to walk into a second round job interview. It will take my commute from an hour and a half to 15 minutes, be a much larger scale company and teams, with actual schedules and communication. I might actually cry if I get it.9
-
Hello "friend", whom I haven't seen or talked to in years. How have you been? Please don't mind me, my life is boring as shit and nothing happened to me since. Yes, I'd gladly make an app for your company because you agreed to do it but apparently you lack the skills. Oh, you've been fucking around for a month doing nothing? That's sad but sure, I can do it by Sunday, I don't have plans for the weekend anyway. You say you can't pay me more than what I earn in six hours doing my day job? And your boss should think you did it all by yourself? Well, let me consider this cool little opportunity. I'll be in touch, talk to you "soon"!1
-
Waking up after a drinking night and rushing to your computer to make sure you didn't mess around with your projects 😨1
-
Let an expert consultant write your code, they say. It will be all right, they say.
Found this today in a legacy codebase.
3 -
Do you want an app completed for tomorrow?
It will be a shit.
Do you want a very good app?
You won't have it tomorrow.
Clients and bosses will never learn it...6 -
Guy: - "Your restart script doesn't work."
Me: - "What do you mean?"
Guy: - "It does nothing."
Me: - "It should kill every processes that's running within the project and start them again. Wait... Why do you terminate it?"
Guy: - "I don't. It just stops."
Me: - "It says `Terminated` here. You killed it. Just let it do it's job, don't kill it."
Guy: - "I'm not killing it! It just stops!"
(...two hours later...)
Me: - "Wait... Where do you run it from?"
Guy: - "What do you mean? I just run the script you gave me."
Me: - "Yeah, but where do you run it from? Where did you put it?"
Guy: - "It's part of the project so I put it in the project, d'oh!"11 -
So I heard about this new Git ransomware that is demanding Bitcoin if not fulfilled removing commits and projects...
And then I thought to myself...
What will they get my deleting all my repos of projects that I told myself that I will finish one day.
I guess they will be doing me a favor. Doing something that I have been putting off for ages.2 -
*about to push an experimental block of code*
my brain:
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
Me: “git push -u origin master”6 -
Tl;Dr: Client-side validated online test
Some stupid questions in an online test.
Not all of them were coding questions, but all (yes ALL) were client-side validated and to solve the tasks all I had to do was to copy one array into another and set the time I needed for that task to a legit number.
Well at least it was an online test that doesn't required 3hours.2 -
devrant is not stackoverflow people. stop copying and pasting rants. It's likely we've seen it before. You're devs, use yo brains. #rant4rant #ctrlCctrlV1
-
When you've been working your ass off for months alone on a project with major backend features and the feedback you get from the CEO at the demo is "I don't like the colour".3
-
So I've been applying to jobs. I, purposely, have been putting down that I am female (since they all harp on diversity, I'd like to see if they even bother reaching out to me. Also anything to get my resume past the bots).
Spoiler alert - getting similar ratios to male counterparts, 100+ applications sent, maybe 4 phone interviews. No offers yet. Still made to do code challenges.
Well, I just found out where all that diversity hiring went to. Buddy of mine who works at a mid tier company said that they have a special program that onboards women into tech.
Specifically, women who have literally zero background in computers.
Teachers, social workers, etc. They get a week or so of some coding bootcamp and then get full time positions over more skilled applicants.
This infuriates me. I literally would be in a better situation to be hired had I not have had any technical background, taken this particular bootcamp and finally net the elusive entry level position I need.
And guess what? That move has antagonized the existing male employees who see that they have zero interest and zero competency instead of having an integrated workplace.
10/10 for incredible bullshit.6 -
Good morning guys,
Have a nice day with your task today.
Let's smile and be positive you will feel better and more productive ^^
"You Can Do It!"7 -
What the flying git did I just do.
So here I am, finishing my billionth.. ok maybe not that many, feels like it some days.. task so I do the following:
git add /path/to/file.ext
git commit -m "yay done for the day" /path/to/file.ext
- yes I specify the files in a commit, I've had bad days in the past, plus I can work on multiple files at a time -
But anyway...
Then all of a sudden 20 other files are now staged for commit 🧐🤪🤭😱🤯
Wtf!
Guess I'll be sorting this mess out before doing a push tomorrow morning.1 -
I just realized something in my work place, I'm the only one beside the intern (lol) on my team who is proficient in english.
I was helping a coworker debug some issues and she couldn't understand the OBVIOUS error message telling her precisely wtf was wrong and the exact line...
I know something for sure... In our area English is basic, learn it or gtfo. I might as well conduct half the interviews in English from now on.4 -
Wife and I went to visit her grandparents and when we were at the hotel she would watch lifetime and i would code.
As for Christmas, there's nothing else to do in this town so why not code.6 -
Just do it!™️
For real.
Thinking about writing an app? just do it!
Thinking about creating a website? Just do it!
Thinking about the game? You just lost!6 -
Dev pickup lines:
Hey girl, I may not know your namespace but if you let me cin it'll turn you cout😉
Comment your best10 -
TL;DR: If you make a contest where people get to vote online fucking make it right!
And here's the story: I play in a local coverband to make some cash on the side and because I love making music. We entered a contest hosted by a local radio-station. The first round was determined by judges and now 5 bands remain and of those 5 only 3 get to be voted into the final round. In the final round every bands wins something: 3rd place 250€, 2nd place 750€ and first place 5000€.
Now that stupid dipshit of a web-designer of that radio-station made a website where you can vote and it only fucking sets a cookie. You can delete it and vote again. You don't need no E-Mail and nothing. It doesn't even block multiple votes from one IP. It doesn't do shit.
Even my bandmates (who don't work in IT) where smart enough to figure out that you can just delete the cookies...
I think that now every band except for one is cheating. (we have over 5000 votes and combined all bands have like 4000 FB-Likes and sometimes and Band gets like 400 more votes in an hour) This is such a fucking messup and I don't know what to do. Maybe they'll look into stats but if they're so stupid to make a contest like this in the first place, maybe they won't. And even if they look into the stats it wouldn't be fair to kick out a band with much votes because how the fuck would they know if the band themselves cheated or if it was a fan of the band or even an enemy of the band just to get them kicked out.
I'm afraid of talking to the radio-station as a part of one band because maybe the web-designer there just gets frustrated and bans us from the contest entirely.
This is just fucking frustrating.5 -
I hate it when my manager lurks around when i am debugging and keeps giving random unsolicited advices. I spend more time explaining him why what he is saying does not make any sense than debugging.3
-
If I do it in python : Finish in one day!
If I do it in C++ :
1 week for installation and configuration
3 days for coding
Another 1 day for troubleshooting...
But I will still prefer do it in C++.5 -
Most normal people will now be heading home before enjoying their weekend with alcohol and hopefully friends and family.
However I can get pissed on 2 bottles of cider. Friends are busy tonight and family is elsewhere.
So tonight will be spent on designing a side project drunk and tomorrow will be spent repeatedly saying "what the fuck" while reviewing it. Either something good or something terrible will happen. Wish me luck.8 -
<...in the style of linkin park's in the end...>
I DOCUMENTED SO HARD, AND MADE SO MANY TICKETS!!!
BUT IN THE END, NOBODY REALLY READS THEM!!!
I HAD TO DEV!!! AND BUILD IT ALL!!!
BUT IN THE END, IT FEELS LIKE I'M TALKING TO A BRICK WALL!!!!
rhymes are lazy / nonexistent, I know, but my rage is superseding my ability to rhyme right now.3 -
No matter how much you learn and practise, you're still going to break something.
So get on with learning, and break something huge!3 -
Sometimes I really hate reading comment section and rants from
"my coworker/senior-dev/manager/boss/professor doesn't know X. I'm so much better and so underpaid"
It's like something is new to you or you didn't know something your mostly a dumbfuck which doesn't deserve his position or shouldn't be there ignoring all the other shit which brought you there. Ignoring a person's background or function. Sometimes this stuff is funny because you think he/she should know X but to call someone dumb/stupid/moron or so just because of this, I'll never get it people must have hughe inferiority complexes or so2 -
I HATE IT WHEN I HAVE TO BE NICE TO THESE KINDA FCKED UP IGNORANT PEOPLE
[11:10, 16/04/2020] +263 73 ...: Hi I want to develop an app do you live in glen view
[11:12, 16/04/2020] Softaz: Um in budiriro
[11:12, 16/04/2020] Softaz: What do yu have in mind
[11:15, 16/04/2020] +263 73 ....: There's an idea I've been testing and its about creating an app thats track patients with the covid virus the people they have infected even before the infected ones test positive
[11:16, 16/04/2020] +263 73 4....: What do you think about this coz this is not a money generating project but we will do it for humanity
[11:17, 16/04/2020] +263 73 4...: We will finish the project in less than 3 days coz I've got the research covered and how the app will operate I jus need someone who can punch the code
[11:22, 16/04/2020] Softaz: Its a good idea
Though your time frame is too tight
What platform will this app run on?
[11:26, 16/04/2020] +263 73 47...: About the time frame its becoz its a very simple mechanism4 -
Alright, biiiiig rant time.
Shitty webdevs who randomly use an entire framework for some tiny feature in the middle of their codebase because they couldn't figure out how to do it with native and completely fucking up their syntax, consistency and standards set beforehand (not that there were any to begin with, this dude program's like 3-4 people just jumbled all their crap into one massive pile).
Not only that but throughout the entire backend this guy flip-flops on passing an the error value before results in his callbacks, so now i have to check his functions everytime I use them after spending 2-3 sessions debugging to figure out wtf was going wrong.
Please for the love of god, if you wanna dance to your own beat, LEAVE COMMENTS4 -
We are on a tight deadline and EVERY FUCKING TIME I see, my fucking boss is developing new features for the product... WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?1
-
I'm a stupid twat. Spent at least three hours today, all wasted. I had to update a user manual and change all the branding for a system I've licencesd and going to resell to my dumb clients. There was no original to work from only a pdf. Managed to convert it to word but all the formatting was fucked. So set up some heading and paragraph styles, proper header and footer and auto generate TOC's. I did all this without actually reading it, thought I'd get the formatting and branding out of the way first. So after all that I started the job of editing it and updating it. Quickly realised that PDF I converted was for a different but similar system. Tommorow is Groundhog Day.
-
Tried mx 17 linux today. Was completely blown away by how fucking good the system is. I am really tempted to nuke my windows installation in one of my computers and just run this baby from it. Nothing is really holding me back from it. I already have two other macs and another ubuntu laptop. Can think of a reason why i would need windows at this time but i am still hesitant.
Plus...i am taking on a big rails project.....might be good to have this thing set up for it as are the other two macs. Mmmmmhmm decissions decissions.
What do y'all think? Yes or nah?4 -
I was just asked to explore Ionic Framework any advise?
Please tell me I will not face hell doing an ionic app :(
I started reading docs and the word Cordova appears to be used a lot, I had a really bad experience with Cordova + PhoneGap, am I in trouble? am I going to regret life?10 -
Our IT-Class project: Mathematics trainer in Java
Day 1 (was monday)
TL;DR we didn't save.
So we formed groups and I landed in the UI team with, let's call him Mage and let's call her Goth.
We had an eclipse project folder on our desktop (they said it only works when put on desktop) Btw they didn't even want to use a cloud or something (I wish we'd use git and I'd finally learn it). We should take the changes by USB from computer to computer.
So me, Mage an Goth are making a basic GUI for this Mathematic-Training App. We use this thing from Eclipse but I forgot the name. It has not enough functionality on surface and I hate things that break complex things up to ease things but leave away so much.
So after a productive hour of building a GUI and centering shit by calculating the top and bottom distance and use margins (hurts me really but Mage was designing, Goth intensively calculating on paper), the bell rings.
Mage wants to save the project on my USB-Stick and bamm💥
A black screen.
I don't know how it happened but it sure had something to do with the USB-port looking like you fucked it with a way to huge🍆. It looked damn broken.
So because we have a nice App called HD-Guard, which fucking wipes the desktop on startup and resets all but the documents/images/videos/music folder —
It's all's gone. Today is day 2 of this project so let's see how today turns out.3 -
I built a basic MVP for a client as a proof of concept for his startup. It was a quick thing just to prove a point do I rattled it out in procedural php.
Sadly it was successful and has somewhat taken off. It’s also grown arms and legs.
It works. The user will never know, but the code is SHIT. I never thought it would still be here.
I’m want to re-write it now in laravel.
But...... ugh1 -
"damn bro, you made that? how can i get into coding?"
shut the fuck up. you can get into programming like anyone who wants to can. by googling how to code. it's not the question itself that bothers me, it's the fact that if you actually wanted to code so bad, you already would've googled it. stop projecting your lack of passion on me.
this is most common with programming, but it happens so often with so many other things.
if you want to learn about biology and chemistry, there's free courses online and papers from nih.
if you want to learn about forsenics read a book about it and read about cases and how they were solved.
i could go on and on. the internet gives you access to so much that if you actually wanted to learn something, you would've already have.4 -
the feeling when you have typed up ans signed a resignation letter and still need to turn it in and "the talk" with your boss.
made all the better by the fact that we are opening a new location in the time span of the 2 weeks notice I'm about to give.
oh and the boss will be going on vacation just after that.2 -
Adventures with house IT
I'm currently experimenting with PowerShell but my scripts won't run even though I've got every local permission. The error message indicates it's a GPO problem.
"No problem" le me thinks and calls IT hotline.
After 2 incompetent and unprofessional technicians i've still got no solution. I'm waiting for the second tech to call back because he "needed some time to get to know PowerShell" (he is a trained and certified SysAdmin).
During my call he couldn't decide if it was a GPO problem or not.
And this is just one story of their incompetence...8 -
If there is anything I hate in life more than XCode is not organizing work!
A feature done few months ago on mobile, tested, passed QA and now it is not working! Why? Because API got screwed!! Why? Because someone is changing the core of the system without notifying anyone!!
Both API and that feature were not touched in months and suddenly stopped working and guess who is blamed, damn right me and the API dev when non of us even made a change -.-3 -
"Hey Bobby, can you do XYZ for me? I can do it myself but it's such a pain in the ass"
So why the fuck would I do it if you can do it yourself? Guess what it's a pain in the ass for me too! And it's not even my problem!2 -
Me: "Can you get the user to send us a recent crash dump?"
(Support person forwards my email)
User: "The most recent ones are from November"
Support person: "It seems they haven't had any this month"
Me: (?????!!) "Which November?"
The eventual crash dump was datestamped with today's date. -
My mum wants to learn how to use a computer. She wants to help my dad in his business in case something needs to be done and neither me nor my dad are (currently) available.
Will be .... a great challenge, since she didn't use a desktop computer almost ever, but i'm nevertheless proud of her and will try my best to help her😍😊😎6 -
Customer: the user summary report does not show all the transaction data I want to see
Me: there is a report called "transaction log report" that will show all the transactions
Customer: is that the user summary report? -
Why on Earth are people letting management tell them how to code? It is not their job to know how to do it. Much less to tell you how to do it.8
-
Note to self, don't fix a minor bug that will not effect the demo right before the live demo. My program that was working great didn't work anymore during the demo because of my quick bug fix I figured I had a few minutes to add to my code.1
-
Yahoo finance shut down all their historic data uRL and im out of options. No API or packeges works. I have a report to pass up on tuesday for my ViVa and this is shit. Fuck. My months of work just wasted.7
-
How do you write your "identity" in your code so that others can see that it's you who made it?
Do you do it with a simple "made by" or do you write more?17 -
RANT
Using Windows.
So frustrated. Do people use it to get things not done? Or do they use it to annoy others?23 -
Python Question:
I'm learning Python and thought I'd start with web services since that's a concept I'm familiar with. My question is, in the attached code, am I doing it right when it comes to python? Cuz I feel like I'm following the same structure I follow in C# WebAPI and NodeJs
What about naming style? Is is the default for python? cuz I'm also using C# naming style :\
Thanks in advance ranters :)
26 -
I just used chatgpt and placed bullshit jargon to aid my budget and OPEx for this year, and it worked.
Each year, we formulate some sort of paragraph/essay on how we plan to help the company achieve its goal. I dragged my feet doing this exercise.
Great, more reasons to be lazy.4 -
If you want to be a dev, don't buy a house. Or if you do buy a house don't do DIY. Or if you do the DIY, do it badly so you don't have to do it again.
-
There is how you think a system works, and there is how it actually works. Unit tests help keep those two ideas in sync with each other7
-
I turned my custom phone wallpaper into shirts, covers and other things. How do you like it? Would you wear it or would you improve it?
https://redbubble.com/de/people/...
7 -
"Do it right do it light..do it wrong do it long"
My old peewee football coache's sage advice on the pitfalls of technical debt..1 -
!dev
When you're waiting impatiently for your computer to load something so you basically become the computer's personal cheerleader. -
Just lost hours of work because the winforms designer decided to send half my elements to (11, -8000) and resize others to (0,0). No matter what I did, there was no moving them back. And every change I made was reverted by some unknown mechanism.
Thankfully, I still have the user controls I built. But I still have to rewire 3k lines worth of form events.3 -
Client: I need you to integrate with this API.
Me: ok cool, but what are we doing with it (where does the data go/styling)?
Client: what do think we should do?
Me: well it would be really cool if we did it like this *short and sweet explanation of really cool functionality and design*
Client: I LOVE IT! Let's do it, oh also I need it done by tomorrow...
Me: *GOD DAMNIT, why do you always do this...don't you dare say ok* ok, yeah I can totally do that.
...now at the market stocking up on redbull2 -
In the last 24 hours I have been handed 3 tasks that are to be done on priority.
While my current queue will take upto a week to clear of, nobody thought of it.
When I'll present my time estimate for the completion of the new priority tasks, and when the deadline for the remainder of the tasks will be pushed back, I'll be asked a very simple question.
"WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG?" -
You ever tried to debug a date bug when IT has blocked you from modifying your system time? I wouldn't suggest it.2
-
When you buy a parasol for your mother because you’re a good son, but she didn’t factor in the aerodynamics of having a solid fence next to it funnelling the air upwards.
What do you do when it keeps tipping?
Do the same thing you do with software of course!
Fake it ‘til you make it and use twine and weights (bricks) to hold it still 😂😂
-
You know the configuration sucks if it's a one file, 10 K lines nginx reverse proxy configuration.
But what really really really sucks....
If the person who wrote it was a google craptastic copy pasta ninja.
For fucks sake, if you don't know what you are doing, just stop.
I've had this in so many rants, it's terrifying how many devs seem to be completely unaware of what they're doing Oo
This time, fuckwad ignored the basic principle of NGINX configuration: set the HTTP version for the proxy.
It's by default HTTP 1.0 - as HTTP 1.1 requires a Host Header _which you must set if not already present_.
The fuckwad had all kinds of scary optimizations enabled. Literally a bukkaka (not a typo) of <way too high value> and <too obscure configuration value that cannot apply here>.
But the most trivial thing, enabling HTTP 1.1 and keepalive. Nope.
Not in it.
It's funny how fast NGINX can be without the bukkaka of configuration values but HTTP keepalive enabled.
*me sits in the silent corner of the plushy pink room with soft walls*1 -
These 🤡clowns🤡 are so dependent on me and I'm just sick of it, not to mention I simply don't have the time.1
-
can we just get rid of floating points? or at least make it quite clear that they are almost certainly not to be used.
yes, they have some interesting properties that make them good for special tasks like raytracing and very special forms of math. but for most stuff, storing as much smaller increments and dividing at the end (ie. don't store money as 23.45. store as 2,345. the math is the same. implement display logic when showing it.) works for almost all tasks.
floating point math is broken! and most people who really, truely actually need it can explain why, which bits do what, and how to avoid rounding errors or why they are not significant to their task.
or better yet can we design a standard complex number system to handle repeating divisions and then it won't be an issue?
footnote: (I may not be perfectly accurate here. please correct if you know more)
much like 1/3 (0.3333333...) in base 10 repeats forever, that happens with 0.1 in base 2 because of how floats store things.
this, among other reasons, is why 0.1+0.2 returns 0.300000046 -
Imagine an intelligent platform where creators are rewarded for launching and completing open source projects and groups of people teaming up to set up open source factories , implementing top level optimizations . There will ofcourse be judges who can earn a basic income from the platform as well . I don't want to go into too much details.
The platform could offer products as well with a modular backend . So for example this platform could have an mobile OS with a maps app on it . What the platform should do is adopt the best map algorithm to the application at certain intervals .
Product stays constant , open source power behind it changes and promotes competition .
Factories, products , space tech, open source labs which require certain reputation to get in ......
It's very ambitious but sounds like the way the future should take off . Companies and politics would be off picture down the line and maybe even terrorism will take a break . After all it's everyone together .
Oh and ofcourse it would have a search engine for sure.2 -
When you have to talk about code and your not sure of the person in front of you knows more.
First business rendez vous!
Ill rant after ;) -
Dual-booted Gaming Computer: A Saga of Frustration, Alcoholism*, and Relief
So a while back my gaming computer was booting Antergos Linux and Windows 10. It took me a few months, but I finally became fed up with Windows 10's bullshit of putting ads in the OS (Suggested Apps, OneDrive, etc.) and reinstating all of their defaults after an upgrade (Edge, privacy settings, the People Button in 1709).
So, I backed up my data and installed Windows 7. Windows 7 has a bright, consistent look, and in my opinion still holds up as a good operating system.
However, I couldn't boot into Antergos after that. For whatever reason, no matter how hard I tried, I just wasn't able to. So, I decided to reinstall. Might as well, anyway.
Now, I have an nVidia card, which does not play well with the OSS drivers, so it's basically normal for me to have to unplug my card and use the on-board graphics. So I do that and boot into the LiveUSB, do the install, boot into the desktop, install the nVidia drivers package, shut down.
I reinstall the card, turn the computer on... and nothing. Just a black screen with a flashing underline. I can't even get into a TTY session.
I ended up trying a few other distributions--Gecko Linux, Arch Labs, Manjaro--but all had the same issue. I was about to give up, but decided to try Antergos one more time, but with the newest install media.
And it worked! I was so freaking happy! I can finally play my Linux games again!1 -
Guys! Let’s have a contest.
I need a new name for a new journal for my new thoughts. Deep thoughts.
Person who best chooses a name that is fitting (maybe nerdy too) gets a ++ and a screenshot of my handwriting.17 -
Story time... (Not long though)
My current employment status is quite strange. Basically I'm a freelancer. My former boss asked me to throw a half paid job and include three days worth of work for free just because it would be convenient.
When I told him no way - he was very uppset and offended and told me how disappointed he was.
Lesson learned: If you work for free and offer to "help" someone out, it will mostly lead to more queries for free of charge gigs. Don't do it like I did. Fuck that shit, thanks for appreciating my effort.1 -
When you check whether Carphone Warehouse stocks the phone you want to buy. Well, bloody undefined! 😳 Some other weird shit is going on with this UI. 🤷♂️
3 -
If a PM ever tells me to rip the website template of the internet from the client because we don't have credentials to the existing server I'M GOING TO KICK HIS ASS. Maintaing this PIECE OF SHIT IS A FUCKING PAIN.
The other guys did a really shitty job, would be better to redo-it from the ground up and save a lot of time :((( -
TGIF & remember..
DO NO FUCKING PUSH TO PRODUCTION TODAY!
DO NOT FUCKING RELEASE A NEW VERSION OF THE CLIENT APP!
FUCK!!
have a nice weekend partners 🤗1 -
I hope I'm not spending several days worth of work rewriting a code base for it not to have any performance benefits at all.7
-
Does anyone do psychedelics? Do you find it hurts your programming performance, increases it, or just general thoughts on the subject?10
-
So I fucked something up on Friday (midday) without realizing it just so I would work overtime to fix my mess while my co-workers are playing ps4...
Oh well. Don't do anything major on Friday. Ever.1 -
How dangerous am I?
I code it live.
I code while people are working on our website and make all the changes live. And if I notice an abrupt stop in responses to our logs I git stash my changes.5 -
I'm still learning so take it easy on me, I'm trying to learn typescript and Factory pattern, hope I did it correctly this time :)
Link: https://pastebin.com/99AL3qah
Its only one class in hope I got it right so I can continue with the others9 -
!rant
Anyone here experienced with Route53?
I have a small issue I'm trying to think through on how to achieve with minimum effort and maintenance, essentially set once and walk away and never care about it again solution.
Basically what I have is:
sub.domain.com
and I need to get it to redirect over to
otherdomain.com/folderToGetTo/
Using a 301 would be ideal but how for the life of me do I go about serving a 301 redirect over a dns entry - short answer is I can't unless I'm missing something!
Both domains are owned by the same company so no issue in hijacking a subdomain... well besides internal politics but that's just another day 😏
First thoughts include setting up a S3 bucket with hosting and forcing the dns to that and then, redirect out of the bucket... seems overkill but will work.
Hoping to find a smaller solution that I don't have to justify a S3 bucket being used for a single file - audits suck alright🤷♂️
Oh and setting up a redirect at the originating domain will take longer then it's worth to setup and get approvals for so not worth the effort internally.
Yes I will accept "fuck off @C0D4" as an answer.10 -
So I'm thinking about trying arch linux finally :) I've always heard the installation process was complex but I'm wondering if it's gotten easier or maybe it's just all hype? I'm very used to ubuntu and debian based installations. What are your guys thoughts on this?5
-
An ex boss, who is obviously a project / marketing manager, claims he understands code and all, couldn't even edit the text inside a html element. R U SRS?
-
Yesterday i went coding, tired as hell. I told myself “Atleast i get smth done“ i was wrong. Redid everything and now expect many merge conflicts when i get home1
-
"lightweight charts"
dude what the fuck am i look at
https://tradingview.github.io/light...
tell me about react headache
THIS is why people hate react! because your garbage library doesn't export simple APIs that are easy to use!!!!15 -
I hate coding tests for a job interview. I've done three types:
1) university style of "write function that does x" (fizz buzz)
2) this code has a bug, fix it
3) write a program that does this university style contrived thing (exact change)
One and two usually are timed to 10 to 15 minutes per question. Three is untimed but unstated "time counts".
Off all three, the last one is the best in my opinion. However it still seem like we could come up with something better.1 -
Felt like doing smthng dangerous and switched back to the light theme... Scariest moment of my life!
3 -
Waiting to merge the rest of the team’s new code because you don’t want to deal with migrating your test account to a new backend until your feature’s ready, finally finishing your feature (!) and then seeing 100+ merge conflicts and realizing you‘re better off just re-implementing all your feature code into a new branch, & deleting every trace of your old branch so nobody sees the 1000+ merged commit mess you’ve made -_- today was supposed to be easy...
WHY WOULD ANYONE NEED THREE DEPENDENT SUBMODULES ANYWAY?!?! 😩1 -
How do you become a PM?
Do you need computing science knowledge? And at which point in your career do you lose it?5 -
Opinions please.
I want to share a small model in my iOS app. Now on android I'd do with with ViewModelProviders, but on iOS I'm going with SharedDataContainer which is basically a singleton class that store key value data.
Is there any better approach? Data will not be bigger than 10 list items with guid (key) and int (value)
However; when I have big data I do cache on disk or hello OOM exceptions (or whatever they call that bitch on iOS) -
I got to thinking it might be nice to have my own personal fingerprint reader. I could carry it with me and hook to my work computer for tasks such as sudo and login. At home I could login. I figured there ought to be some nice cross platform devices... Oh hell fuck no. Its all Windows shit. Most of them say windows 10 and usually say don't work on Linux, Mac, or Android.
So I think I am going to hack my own:
https://amazon.com/FlashTree-Optica...=
https://amazon.com/Seeeduino-Smalle...==
I have a 3d printer that I can use to enclose this and make it look nice and personalized. I can embed any kind of functionality I want to make this work.
Manufacturers: STOP MAKING SHITTY WINDOWS ONLY HARDWARE!7 -
I would rant about my life right now i i know people wouldnt understand the problem that Im facing right know.
"Nah. Post it we wanna help, it cant be that bad" - nope i just say nope -
Yeeehaw,
i finally get rid off that over-the-top dependency on Zend\Config in upwork/phystrix
The Pull-Request is on it's way:
https://github.com/upwork/phystrix/...
After 4 years of "this will take minutes to refactor" and "yeah. I totally agree. Replace Zend\Config with Array Interfaces", someone (in this case me) took finally care of this easy to solve issue :)
I hope it will be merged soon into the master branch -
You know it's bad when you've planned a word addon thats sole purpose is to do mail merges.
I've done guides and shown people how to do them. Still comes to me the bloke in IT to do a simple mail merge because googling it is too complex.
It's going to be epic it will hold their hands let them know they are bestest cupcake out of the whole batch.
The progress bar will be a rainbow and each button will sparkle. Because If I get taken of my dev work to do another fucking mail merge I'll probably quit on the spot.
And I do not have the savings readily available to hold me over until I got a new job.
Knob sockets the lot of em.1 -
Why is it so hard to find backend Java developers?
So much work to do... so few people to do it with... -_-11 -
NO! Use the description instead of the primary key because the key might change ................................................................................................................... vs the description .............................................................................................................. the key more likely .............................................. meh2
-
What progress have you made?
Well today we hand crafted ... a new lie about the apps we are writing. Customers should eat this one up.
Good, good.
- Management -
Client wants me to document the updated patch in the system... In detail. I just want to upgrade their server memory but noooooo. They want me to detail it all in step-by-step, including change impact, description task, expected time duration, back-out plan.
The first time I had to do this, it was cute. But now it's FUCKING ANNOYING ON HOW DETAIL THEY WANT ME TO PUT IN!!!
Client: "OK, so you wanna upgrade the server memory. What do you need to bring into the data centre?"
Me: "Just my laptop. I'm just configuring your underutilised server memory and upgrade it."
Client: "Good. Put that in the document, including your laptop serial #, make and model."
Me: *Screaming internally* -
I was looking forward to creating app like Alipay for US/EU market, then I realized Venmo exists. What do you think, is it still worth trying to compete? Outside of Venmo we don't really have any other competition.29
-
Sometimes it gets really annoying when your client tells you to do something in the beginning and you do it, but towards the end of the project they want us to do something else.
Arrrggghh -
it’s not a lack of motivation, an inexplicable unwillingness to act, that obstructs your path to success and happiness. It’s the invisible boundaries in your head that you’re tripping over — sometimes without ever moving at all.1
-
Focus: Get up and walk around, disturb someone(calculated disturbing), break a window,
Procrastinating: DO IT NOW, JUST DO IT, MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE
....sorry
Yes my 2 cents -
I feel like most of the problems people are ranting about would never happen if they worked in a proper environment with lint checks, unit tests, e2e tests etc.
It's worth the effort to get it!4 -
My job description is software developer, and that's the thing I do less because I have also been assigned tasks from other areas that nobody wants to do. Yeah sure, make the IT guy do it, he's not busy and doesn't do much anyway, right? Oh but wait until they do need something coded...3
-
A friend just asked his colleagues why IntelliJ can't do reverse debugging and was told that it's impossible. It's not impossible, gdb does it, pdb does it. Probably other debuggers do it too.
Why do many devs believe that if they haven't heard of something, it doesn't exist?1 -
"If you need motivating words, don't do it!"
It means that,
"If you are discouraged by someone telling you not do it, then you weren't probably meant to do it in the first place."17 -
Decided to try the beta build of WP 5.0 today to get a feel for Gutenberg block development, but it's not building confidence. Following the examples in the Handbook (Link: https://wordpress.org/gutenberg/...) and it's failing when trying to set up the rich text editor because apparently the object it relies upon is undefined. Been trying to track down the code for the basic paragraph box for an hour or so now so I can see how it's doing things, and haven't turned up anything useful.
-
When a person asks what do I do I tell them that I'm a cyber wizard.
It explains it well doesn't it ?
God damn muggles... -
In the process of applying for a job with another company. It all looks fairly promising, but...
... they use SVN for source control 😫2 -
Mobile
To the iOs Users:
-Which iPhone do you have?
-Is it Jailbroken?
-Do you want to use the new Electra JB?
-And If Jailbroken: Why and what do you do with it?
-If not: Why?
To the Android Users:
-Which Phone do you have?
-Is it rooted?
-If yes: Why and what do you do with it?
-If not: Why?
And my Answer:
iOs
-iPhone X
-No
-Yes! I want it so badly
-No: Didn‘t think about it when I purchased it..18 -
So, I've just been offered two jobs that are basically the same. It is impossible to do both. What do I do?15
-
got employed as web developer, had to make an app for test, so i made simple PWA, you can search videos and you have related videos on the side, basically search videos and watch them with simple list of related videos on the side.
idk how i ended up being tester and bug hunter in this huge ass pile of spaghetti extravaganza.
all i do is wasting my talent on hunting and resolving bugs on a legacy-code apps, don't remember when was last time i actually wrote some feature, oh yeah i do, last month but that was refactoring/fixing.
so i am stuck on weird tech stack someone build with shovel, feels like they were having that famous golden hammer.
what interests me is something i will never do at this company and still i am trying to help them to fix the app to have better product.
It is hard when you feel like you are third and last person in whole company that cares about actual product, rest of devs just fixing things with quick workarounds, hacks and lousy patches.
I really tried, I did, I was excited as I saw opportunity to one up the product but got stuck with the rest of the devs fixing bugs instead of fixing the whole codebase, I tried to introduced improvements but we don't have time cause fixing bugs means happy customers, better codebase takes more time and means impatient customers are unhappy!
I think it is time to sail away.
So folks, any thoughts or feelings?1 -
I want to do ssh is from outside the network. But I'm unable to do it. Very much frustrated. Has anyone tried it successfully?7
-
I ordered a USB Rubber Ducky!! I'm not going to do anything malicious with it, I just want to experiment with it and see what it can do for me!
-
#WitchHunt: one of us is making websites that allow you to signup/login with Facebook, but still requires the user to enter a password to sign up! That's not SSO people!
-
It's always the same mistake I do: writing bad words as variables or in comments. NEVER DO IT YOU WILL ALWAYS REGRET IT2
-
I am truly baffled. How in the world am I receiving 2-10 spam wordpress account registrations EVERY DAY for a website which I've never let be crawled by search engines yet? These mail.ru accounts keep coming and seemingly for no reason. Who the fuck wants to register so many accounts, and how the fuck did they find my site to begin with? 😲
These registration emails are seriously annoying now and the site now has hundreds of fake accounts on it...8 -
How do you guys actually estimate any given task..?? What do you consider..?? Or do you just guess it as per experience..??7
-
Is it just me or do people sometimes do major refactoring not because it needs to, but purely because they are inheriting old code and can't be bothered to understand it5
-
"Premature optimization is the root of all evil" - he quoted Donal Kunth words. Though it's not the worst advice. From then, coding became simple on achieving the task.
-
So I'm a fresher and recently joined a startup as a software dev trainee. The talk has been ON this whole week of me getting ragged. D-day came today. Pizzas were ordered. And they pleaded to atleast make them feel like I'm being ragged. 😂2
-
That awesome feeling you get when you started with no inspiration, but after starting to work you get all kinds of awesome ideas.
-
Swizzling is like smoking weed; you're not supposed to do it, but a hell of a lot of people do it anyways.1
-
Is anyone here using Avocode? Is it good/bad, what do you like/hate about it etc? And do you recommend using it?2
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View