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-
wk87 is a dangerous topic for me, i've been through a lot. I apologise for what I am about to inflict on this network over the coming week.
Most incompetent co-worker, candidate 1, "T".
T was an embedded C developer who talked openly about how he's been writing code since he was 14, knew all the C system libraries and functions like the back of his hand. For the most part, he did ... but not how to actually use them, as (based on his shocking ... well everything) he was inflicted by some sort of brain disorder not yet fully understood by medical science. Some highlights:
- Myself and the CTO spent 4 days teaching him what a circle buffer was and how to build one.
- His final circle buffer implementation had about 3 times as much code as he actually needed.
- When the code was running too slowly on the device, we didn't try find any performance improvements, or debug anything to see if there was anything taking too long. No not with T, T immediately blamed TCP for being inefficient.
- After he left we found a file called "TCP-Light" in his projects folder.
- He accused the CTO of having "violent tendencies" because he was playing with a marker tossing it up in the air and catching it.
- He once managed to leave his bank statements, jumper and TROUSERS in the bathroom and didn't realise until a building wide email went out.
- He once .... no hang on, seriously his fucking trousers, how?
- He accused us all of being fascists because we gave out to him for not driving with his glasses, despite the fact his license says he needs to (blind as a bat).
... why were his trousers off in the first place? and how do you forget ... or miss the pile of clothes and letters in a small bathroom.
Moving on, eventually he was fired, but the most depressing thing of all about T, is that he might not even be top of my list.
Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!11 -
Math teacher: 1+1=?
Me: one zero
Math teacher: wrong!
So i gived to her my calculator (in binary mode :-) )
Me: check the answer.
Math teacher: [saw 1+1=10 on calc] thinks about 10 seconds LOL then says: you calculator is broken!18 -
So I "grade" homework for programming 1 students...
Task was to produce an output like:
1
1 2
1 2 3
1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4 5
...and this was committed!
I really had to hold back laughter...
This looks purposefully obfuscated...
26 -
The only one rule that governs the entire programmers world: If I work as you want, I'll choose the price. If you choose the price, I'll work as I want.12
-
practiseSafeHex’s most incompetent co-worker follow up: Candidate 1, “T”.
(For those wondering WTF I’m talking about: https://devrant.com/rants/1148190/...)
Forgot to mention something that happened with T that I find hilarious. T had a pretty profound effect on the company / team. It was a small startup, CEO + 4 of us, so we were all kinda close.
The day T was fired we decided this was too big of a moment to forget, so we created T_____ day, and to this day despite all working in different places we still meet up for drinks on October 24th to celebrate getting rid of that nut bag.2 -
Want to read a horror story?
Number of computers
1900: 0
1950: 100
1980: 10000
1990: 1000000
2000: 1000000000
2010: 1000000000000000000
2020: 1
2030: 1
2040: 1
2050: 125 -
Shamelessly borrowing this from /r/ProgrammerHumor/ because.. 1+'1'-1 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
On a serious note, this will help with JS coercions: https://medium.freecodecamp.org/js-...
1 -
The second episode of The devRant Podcast is here! We're happy to announce the release of episode #1 - featuring David Heinemeier Hansson (DHH) (known for creating Ruby on Rails, Basecamp, his book Rework, and much more). It was a thrill getting to interview David and we think everyone will really enjoy!
We also want to give a huge thanks to our two devRant users who helped us out and came on to talk about their rants - @peaam and @switchstep. We also greatly appreciate all of the questions that were submitted by community members. We really wanted to ask all of them since there were a lot of good ones, but unfortunately we ran out of time with DHH and we didn't get to ask any :/ We're going to make sure we better allocate time in the future.
You can get all the links to the podcast here: https://devrant.io/podcasts/... (available on iTunes, Google Play, YouTube, Soundcloud, Stitcher, and we've provided the raw mp3 in various bitrates).
If you'd like to see it on any other platforms in the future, please let us know. And like always, feedback is appreciated since we're new to this and still learning our way when it comes to podcasting. If you enjoy the show, please rate it to help us out :)
Thanks everyone!
7 -
Boss: lets set the domain to <productName>1.com.
Me: ok ... why 1?
Boss: ... because its version 1 of the software.
Me: .....
Boss: People will get it6 -
Got 2 Computers and 2 Laptops
1 is using Elementary OS
1 is using Arch
1 is using Linux Mint
1 is using OSX
And 0 Windows
Feels good man!15 -
Oh RLY? you want me to confirm my email address?
Shift+Tab - Ctl+a - Ctrl+c - Tab - Ctrl+v
Like a ninja...
could actually HEAR the knife swishing sounds there6 -
Wow, what a fucking mess this sunday was.
My boss wrote me an email that one route of a RESTful API we wrote for a customer was not working anymore and puking back a status 500 with some error mentioning invalid UTF-8 characters.
Not one single person has had touched nor changed the code on production in some 6 months, so what the fuck could it be?
Phpunit did not give any errors (running only locally), the code had no syntax errors and the DB dump did not contain any invalid bytes (tested with a hex editor).
WHAT THE FUCK?!
OK so I started to comment out lines (all tested directly on production of course) until the error vanished.
Guess what was the culprit?
.
.
.
.
.
.
In the code (PHP) we used strftime(...) to get nice time strings. Of course we set the correct locale on the server, thus having months and days formatted in German.
So, in Geman there is this one mysterious month called "März" which contains an umlaut character.
Calling strftime generated the date with März in it, but the server locale was de_CH.iso-8859-1 and not fucking de_CH.utf8, so the "ä" was returned as 0xE4 instead of 0xC3A4 (valid UTF-8), which json_encode(...) did not want to swallow but instead threw an exception.8 -
Need to debug a plugin a Client purchased. Just saw:
if (true) {
$a =1+1;
} else {
$a = 1+1;
}
What the fuck. Don't want to imagine how the rest looks like...13 -
Basically,
1+infinity = 1
But
infinity + 1 = NaN
My entire maths fundamental shuttered by the beautiful JS language....
26 -
0!=1 is both mathematically correct (because 0 factorial is 1), and logically correct (since 0<1).
I found this interesting.8 -
I would kill all these +1 guys, srsly. I subscribe these threads to know if it will be implemented.
You do not add any value to issue:
* devs are pissed off as this does not help solving problem
* others are pissed off
No one really cares about your likes, really.
28 -
It was a basic java lesson. We had four values that we stored in a array. We had to make some calculations with the values. Then we had to sort those four values. That's the solution our teacher proposed:
if (arr[0] > arr[1]) {
int temp = arr[0];
arr[0] = arr[1];
arr[1] = temp;
}
if (arr[1] > arr[2]) {
int temp = arr[1];
arr[1] = arr[2];
arr[2] = temp;
}
if (arr[2] > arr[3]) {
int temp = arr[2];
arr[2] = arr[3];
arr[3] = temp;
}
if (arr[0] > arr[1]) {
int temp = arr[0];
arr[0] = arr[1];
arr[1] = temp;
}
if (arr[1] > arr[2]) {
int temp = arr[1];
arr[1] = arr[2];
arr[2] = temp;
}
if (arr[0] > arr[1]) {
int temp = arr[0];
arr[0] = arr[1];
arr[1] = temp;
}7 -
Day 1 of my CIT major:
Professor: "...and if we use the right mouse button to click on any file, we can access a complete menu of secondary actions."
It's going to be a long semester.3 -
Sometimes the best solution is the simplest
But sometimes it takes 20 hours of debugging to figure that out
😧1 -
My team has 1-on-1 check-up meetings with our boss about once a month.
My 1-on-1 today consisted solely of him saying "So I bought a new Porsche, want to see a picture?"
It was a pretty productive meeting, if I do say so myself!2 -
Fresh internship story/conversation (Part 1)
Happened today:
- "Can you hack someone via cmd?"-cheap coworker at my internship workplace
- "Can you hack the NSA from any device?"-cheap coworker
- "Can the police identify me, if my face is on a Youtube video?"-cheap coworker
- "I can see all devices I have been through when I want to connect to a target as a route.
*talks about hops in a trace route, but uses non-technical terms for it*
*uses "ping host wikihow.com" instead of "tracert wikihow.com" to demonstrate it, besides of that "host" was not supposed to be there in that command*
*he had to google how to use the ping command on Windows*
*finally uses the ping command properly*
"Here, you can see all the devices our machine has connected to to reach the target"
ME: Aha. But dude... you know that all these ip adresses are in fact the same ip. These IPs are not any different. They are all the same. Besides of that this IP is the IP of this *points to domain name on windows cli* domain.
Him: Oh... I had a friend named ... *continues telling me some "hacker stories" from his past*
Me: *ignores him and always just responds with "Aha" to him* -cheap coworker
Happened yesterday:
- "You have programming classes? You must be an expert in Excel then, right?" -internship boss3 -
Want to piss off the person reviewing your PR?
don't just return true or false use 1 == 1 for true and 1 == 2 for false.
Watch the glorious rage unfolds 🤘🤘🤘6 -
1:1 ++ to comment ratio and a 1:10 rant / comment ratio.
This wasn't even that intentional, well, of course I ++d 23 rants for it to be a perfect match but almost 100% legit lol
4 -
Ruby’s fanciness bit me in the butt today. It’s pretty rare, but often confusing AF when it happens.
array = [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7]
array.count +1 +2
# => 1
What the fuck?
array.count +1 +2 +3
# => 1
What the fuck?
+1 +2 +3
# => 6
Okay.
(array.count +1 +2 +3)
# => 1
What the fuck?
(7 +1 +2 +3)
# => 13
Okay...
array.count + 1 + 2 + 3
# => 13
Alright, so spaces matter here...?
((array.count) +1 +2 +3)
# => 13
But not here!? ... Oh. I think I know what’s going on.
Array#count
Returns the number of elements. If an argument is given, counts the number of elements which equal it using ==
Well fuck me.
Ruby is seeing `array.count(+1+2+3)` instead of `array.count()+1+2+3` since `+1` is a value, not an operator followed by a value as is the case with `+ 1`.
Now, why was I using +1 +2 instead of adding some spaces like I normally would? So they would match what was in the comment next to them for easier reference. Heh.
Future dev, I did this for you! So this is all your fault. :|36 -
"We need you to give 110% so that the total is greater than the sum of the parts... Eg: 1 + 1 > 2"
You're addressing a team who use logic to make you money. What the fuck are we supposed to do with this shit?
1 + 1 > 2?
false
Fuck off.7 -
For fucks sake if I send you a clearly described 5 step install instructions do not start on step 3! Yes you fucking moron instructions labeled 1,2,3,4,5 should be carried out one after the other! Not in random order.
Seriously, how deranged are you that you have never ever encountered a step-by-step instruction before?!
Don't give me that "oh, should I have started with step 1 first? You weren't very clear about that. I think it is a bit too complicated."
Here are some more instructions:
1. Close your PC
2. Donate it to someone with detectable IQ level
3. Go fuck yourself
4. Please die
5. Yes, start with step 15 -
git commit -m "Forgot a semicolon"
[master 92asd32] Forgot a semicolon
1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-)7 -
story points that equate to hours.
1 = 1 hour
2 = 1-2 hours
3 = 3-4 hours
5 = 6-8 hours
8 = Kill. Me.
13 = Now.3 -
DELETE FROM TABLE invoices.
The next week was spent inputing the data by hand because:
Who needs database back-ups?2 -
Programmer 1: We have a problem
Programmer 2: Let’s use RegEx!
Programmer 1: Now we have two problems -
TL,DR;
Did I mentioned that I hate 1&1?
I host my website there, a small-not-much-visited one. And it works great. But I also have internet connection at home - with 1&1. And it freaking sucks, it always did but that's partly cause of our unlucky position in the country. But why the flying fuck would it completely break sometimes in the meantime the last 20 days. There's a map in the internet showing places where popele have trouble with 1&1. The last two or three weeks germany completely red! Just sometimes out of nowhere the upload is practically zero. And then again, after a hour or a few restarts, it works again. A bit. WHAT THE FUCK MARCEL D'VIS? What did I do to you?!18 -
My brain power allocation:
- 1% — happiness
- 1% — creativity
- 1% — work
- 97% — picking out insignificant details in my past and feeling anxious about them, imagining what could’ve been, or rigorously planning out completely hypothetical scenarios4 -
Continuation of https://devrant.com/rants/4719838/...
First day of our hike complete. We met a reindeer, got covered by a huge cloud, and finally had the sky open up to cover us in rain as well. Not too eventful, thankfully. Time for a well earned shower.
9 -
And 1&1 again... I tried to create a new database... 1&1: “the password is to long. Please choose a password that is not longer than 16 characters.” 🙃
9 -
/*************
* adds 1 to i
***************/
i = i + 1
Everyone has seen at least one comment like this.6 -
Looks like the idiot changed their mind quite too early... This time ama do "1 != 1" cause I don't know what might come next. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
7 -
That's one impressive Formula 1 lap record for the upcoming race in Singapore!
...Time to notify the Formula 1 app Devs.
4 -
Normal person : 365 + 1 = 366
Developer dealing with julian dates : 365 + 1 = 1(New year)
Business person : 365 + 1 = 001 (because they like symmetry in their file names with dates)
We found this BUG, now we are celebrating our new year by changing code in each of script to format string accordingly.
2 -
Random fact #1
AMD (Advanced Micro Devices) was producing Intel 8080 clones (AMD Am9080) before developing own CPUs. Originally they were produced without Intel license. This clone was developed basing on pictures of Intel 8080 itself and pictures of logic diagrams. These processors were much cheaper than the original model. Later AMD and Intel came up with agreement and the Am9080 was fully licensed making AMD official second party vendor.
And yeah, few years later and we got a war between two of those giants. Remember when in mid 2000s AMD almost beat the Intel marketshare?
Bonus Fact: there is AMD logo on Ferrari Formula 1 cars since 2002 (look at the front wing)
6 -
My small collection
2 DD 8" floppy disks
2 MD 2-D 5" 1/4 floppy disks
2 HD 3" 1/2 floppy disks
1 Jaz disk
1 unassembled 3" 1/2 floppy disk
1 PalmOne sticker to learn the letters of Graffiti 2 (I had a M100, but I do not anything related to it anymore.)
5 -
You think arrays starting with 1 are annoying?
HA!
How about time in a day starting with 12?
12:00, 12:45, 1:00, 1:45,...,11:45, 12:00, 12:45, 1:00, 1:45, ..., 11:45, 12:00, 12:45, 1:00 again
What if arrays started with 12? I bet Americans would love that!
arr[12]=fuck
arr[1]=this
arr[2]=shit
arr[3]=!!!14 -
studying computers at a college were
1/4 aim to become a model
1/4 are trying to become photographers
1/4 don't know what's happening yet
1/4 are actually interested in computers
#indianEducationSystem6 -
1- Copy/Paste (code)
1- Googling before trying to fix a bugs by myself first.
1- Never finish my side projects.
2- (Worst) Still doing all the above.3 -
I hope and wish that a big company will support/back up VueJS. Maybe then VueJS can be commonly seen as a job requirement.
Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk?15 -
That feeling of betrayal when you finally find a proper, well written and well formatted article/tutorial about a framework (or anything you are learning), only to find out it is "Part 1" and no other parts were ever written...
-
https://youtu.be/1-xGerv5FOk- Alan Walker - Alone
My friend asked me,
"Can you make some thing like this?"
Timestamps:
00:06 (Link: https://youtu.be/1-xGerv5FOk?t=6s)
00:08 (Link: https://youtu.be/1-xGerv5FOk?t=8s)
00:13~00:22 (Link: https://youtu.be/1-xGerv5FOk?t=13s)
Me : *uhhh*3 -
there it is, couting with: 2 instantes of VisualStudio, 3 of chrome, 1 of firefox, 1 of gvim, 1 of notepad.exe, 1 of Spotify and 2 real notepads in the desk.
2 projects, 4 databases and 1 deadline tomorrow 😂.
man, the 2 monitor setup really helps, when you can, go get one for yourself.
3 -
Oh when did devRant start saying ++ instead of +1 in the system notifications? The notifs tab still says +1 though.
6 -
swag link says you need 20 +1's for stickers and 175 +1's for ball from each post. clicking on Learn More it then says you need 15 +1's for stickers and 150 +1's for ball from each post.
How about some stickers for spotting a content issue?1 -
Happy age++ for me!
or age += 1
or age - age + age + 1
or while (newAge !== age +1) newAge = Math.random(0, 100)3 -
I just did a weird thing... I am used to ++ with a double tap... So, I am on relay for Reddit and like the post and I double tap it expecting an up vote. What have you done to me devRant???
-
Happy first of may, happy international worker fight day to all the devs out there. Unighted we stand, duvided we fall3
-
Ionic 1
For ionic push notification which is best
(1) Onesignal push notification
(2) Cordova plugin push notification
.? -
char *screw={'1','2'};
char **This={screw+1,screw+2}
char ***Shit=This
printf("%s ", *--*++Shit+1);
Exactly
4 -
Copied and pasted code that contained line numbers from the web. Why does that frustrate me so much!?2
-
WARNING MAJOR SPOILERS FOR AVENGERS INFINITY WAR
hostname > sudo -i
root > su groot
groot > whoami
groot
groot > sudo -i
root > su thanos
thanos > grep -r * / | perl ‘if (rand(1) == 1) { rm -rf $1 }’ -
You should really really really not use sha 1 or worse anymore. I mean, for real now. Please, stop it. https://shattered.it2
-
Alright y’all what’s the longest minute:
Microwave minute
Google drive upload 1 minute remaining
Windows copying less than 1 minute remaining
MacOS update screen 1 minute remaining2 -
!rant
Will this code be compiled ?
#include<iostream>
using namespace std;
int main(){
int 🥩=1;
int 🧀=1;
int 🥬=1;
int 🍞=1;
int 🍅=1;
int 🥪=🍞+🥬+🍅+🧀+🥩;
cout<<🥪;
return 0;
}12 -
Buying a new USB from Tesco
So their password reqs are:
8-15 chars
1 lowercase
1 uppercase
1 number or special char
Anyone else think that's ridiculous? There really can't be very many possibilities there4 -
IT admin on paternity leave since Friday.
Can't access one of our servers, backup person can't find their password.
So... Looks like I'm doing something else for a bit.3 -
I've always heard about the "if one woman can deliver a baby in 9 months, 9 can do it in a month" situation people got in. But my bos just quoted that to me since we are stuck on deadlines.2
-
12:55 AM, Subject gets and decides to look at crude oil chart.
1:05 AM, At it.
1:10 AM, Subject decides to check the temperature, using laptop screen in dark.
1:12 AM, Does a wild aerobic move to save flying laptop.
1:13 AM, Finds out that screen is gone.
1:23 AM, Orders new screen.
1:26 AM, Types this rant. -
Wasted 2 days working on an obj (3d model) exporter….messed up meshes … missing faces … despair build after build …
And then the realization: Vertices in obj are 1-indexed.
…
..
.
FUCK
nobody learned anything from the array start at 1 meme2 -
Me - 1+1 is 2
Client : Did you say 1+1 is 2
Because even i thought 1+1 is 2 and i think we should go ahead with 1+1 2 because that seems like a good thing to me.
***"1+1 is 2" can be replaced by some long tech discussion
#my brain hurts3 -
I think that would be config tool for F1 Challenge ‘99-‘02 game which was called VMT Engine. It introduced me to modding community, the VMT Engine project taught me A LOT about software development.
The origin of this tool was I posted on F1 2014 VMT development forum thread “Hey! Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a tool that let you change tires type?”, so the VMT leader said “Why don’t you do it?”...So I did it 😐
I’m actually still updating the source code to this day1 -
Wow. I've only been active for a day and I've already got over 300 +1's and a rant in the top. Thank you to the devRant community and thank you devRant for being so cool!3
-
If corporate always bothers that they can't find any female dev to hire, then encourage them to look into femboys!8
-
It's over.
I've been working on you for months, and thinking about you for near a year.
I built you with a shitty language first and some crappy ideas. I obviously got bad results, but I didn't lose courage and I continued you.
Got near the obsession to improve you. Every time. Switched to a fast but hard language. Got into my first low-level fuss. All for you.
Now I reached the end with no more improvements and tweaks I could imagine, I can tell that:
I had a lot of expectations from you.
But turns out you were nothing more than a nasty brain fart pretending to be a good idea.
The core of the concept was rotten. Blinded by my lust for success (perhaps cupidity ?) I didn't see you just couldn't work.
I'm utterly disgusted, of course. Who wouldn't, after working so hard on something that looks right but is completely useless ?
But even though this was all in vain, you taught me some great lessons down the road.
Efficiency matters over facility.
Get sure you're using the right tools, and stay open for changes of such.
But some others were harsher, though just as important.
There's times you just have to admit defeat.
Putting a lot of efforts into something doesn't always bring a reward.
If after a long time you can't get the thing right, then stop. Your time is precious. Don't waste your time or time will waste you (Thanks Muse, I love this sentence).
And the most important: next time I got some "grand" idea that is not about improving some random software, I'll bang my head to my desk enough times to forget about it.
So now the time has come.
Goodbye, project "hpym". You put me in grief, but I know I matured a lot in my concepts of development because of you.
Now take place into the project graveyard among the other clunky half-assed shit I got rid off.6 -
I think the sleep deprived me is finally cracking under the weight of incompetent assholes.
We just launched a major project in some weird cocktail of Agile slapped with MVP and release to the wild in a waterfall, but it was premature, premature in the sense QA hasn't even finished their side of things, but because some fuck with with "manager" in their title decided they have burnt through the budget with incompetence and scrapped an entire element of the project and outsourced just so they could make a shittier version that doesn't even fucking work.
How hard do you want to fail before you will start listening to the people that now have to work around the fucking clock to clean up this horse shit of a mess.
I'm literally arguing over field mapping with multiple 3rd parties, when the fucking requirements state WTF this is suppose to look like. All because they didn't validate or test their own shit.
Why is EVERY FUCKING cock head in this industry a waste of space and cash! Is it really to much to ask for 1 fucking project to fucking go live that actually fucking works where I don't need to work 2 weeks straight (including weekends) after going live just to be sure that what shit does hit the fan isn't going to create a SEV 1 issue...
Sorry, I'm pissed at the incompetence of others I need to deal with on a daily basis. It's not like this field is insanely hard. A little attention to detail and self validation, verification goes a long way. But clearly that's a rarity.
Once this shit is stable and actually works, I'll be pulling out the mop to clean up half this shit just so it actually works.
Oof, I'm getting to old for this bullshit.4 -
Fuck me sideways, it took me so long to figure out what caused a certain bug. Thanks python
>>> list = [[0] * 2] * 2
>>> list
[[0, 0], [0, 0]]
>>> list[0][0] = 1
>>> list
[[1, 0], [1, 0]]9 -
Every time I see the N+1 query problem in people's implementation, I feel like crying. Especially when it's dealing with large data sets of something like 1000 records.2
-
wHo WrItEs OnLiNe LiKe ThIs?
ALSO THE UNIT MADE A REPLACEMENT CLASS IN THE TIMETABLE WHICH MEANS ALL OTHER UNIT CLASSES OR SLOTS CANNOT GO IN THERE FOR THE WHOLE SEMESTER, JUST FOR 1 WEEK!!!!
1 CLASS IN 1 TIMESLOT IN 1 WEEK FOR 2 HOURS IS RUINING MY WHOLE TIMETABLE
3 -
Linux networking: A tragedy in three acts
ACT 1:
Wherein the system administrator writes their /etc/network/interfaces file as is the custom.
ACT 2:
Wherein the kafkaesque outputs of basic networking commands threaten basic sanity. Behold:
```
# ifup ens3:1
RTNETLINK answers: File exists
Failed to bring up ens3:1.
# ifdown ens3:1
ifdown: interface ens3:1 not configured
```
ACT 3:
Wherein all sanity is lost:
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)1 -
// Posting this as a standalone rant because I've written the best piece of code ever.
// Inspired by https://devrant.com/rants/1493042/... , here's one way to get to number 50. Written in C# (no, not Do diesis).
int x = 1;
int y = x + 1;
int z = y + 1;
int a = z + 1;
int b = a + 1;
int c = b + 1;
int d = c + 1;
int e = d + 1;
int f = e + 1;
int g = f + 1;
int h = g + 1;
int i = h + 1;
int j = i + 1;
int k = j + 1;
int l = k + 1;
int m = l + 1;
int n = m + 1;
int o = n + 1;
int p = o + 1;
int q = p + 1;
int r = q + 1;
int s = r + 1;
int t = s + 1;
int u = t + 1;
int v = u + 1;
int w = v * 2 * -1; // -50
w = w + (w * -1 / 2); // -25
w = w * -1 * 2; // 50
int addition = x+y+z+a+b+c+d+e+f+g+h+i+j+k+l+m+n+o+p+q+r+s+t+u+v;
addition = addition * 2;
if (addition == w)
{
int result = addition + w - addition;
Console.Writeline(result * 1 / 1 + 1 - 1);
}
else
{
char[] error = new char[22];
error[0] = 'O';
error[1] = 'h';
error[2] = ' ';
error[3] = 's';
error[4] = 'h';
error[5] = 'i';
error[6] = 't';
error[7] = ' ';
error[8] = 'u';
error[9] = ' ';
error[10] = 'f';
error[11] = 'u';
error[12] = 'c';
error[13] = 'k';
error[14] = 'e';
error[15] = 'd';
error[16] = ' ';
error[17] = 'u';
error[18] = 'p';
error[19] = ' ';
error[20] = 'm';
error[21] = '8';
string error2 = "";
for (int error3 = 0; error3 < error.Length; error3++;)
{
error2 += error[error3];
}
Console.Writeline(error2);
}5 -
When you spend 1 hour trying to solve a programming challange... And then realise "All integers starting with 1" means all integers from 1 to inf, and not all integers that begin with the digit 1. UUUGGH2
-
woah, when did amazon get a competent ui designer? seriously, did jeff bezos really cough up $20 for a good amazon design on redbubble?
7 -
Hi,
every day I turn my laptop at work, I have to run like more than 10 programs in order to start working.
I have a question, anyone know how if there is a way make custom set of programs to run by just a click, this is really being annoying14 -
What's up with giving away +1's for anything and everything? I thought this was a place for cranky developers. I expected developers over here to be mean and bullies.6
-
Fuck yea!
We'll cancel our 1&1 internet contract —
And move to QuiX.
Countryside internet is shit. And QuiX builds fiberglass (or so) on countryside while stupid ass telekom only dares to enrich cities with fast internet connection.
And no I'm being paid by QuiX to say this. I don't know, maybe they suck but since I am a gamer in need of fast internet, I'm excited at least..3 -
Project management 101:
1) For a new project, pretend it is similar to a project in currently in development
2) Proudly state that everything can be copied from the older project, so the schedule of the new can be tightened
3) Calculate the new schedule based on the "just copy and paste" effort.
4) Now the new project will be finished before the older project
5) Enjoy the applause from upper management for the successful project that hasn't even begun yet.
No, this does not belong in the joke category.
That's gonna be fun...1 -
Erlang... variables you can't vary? WTF!
Writing JS two weeks later...
const a =1
const b = a + 1
Why would I ever assign over a? Pfft.
const c = b + 1
...1 -
Recently I learned that the collective noun for a group of hedgehogs is an "array".
Possibly the only kind of array where we can all agree, you'd have to start counting it from 1.
Or I guess you could just name a pet hedgehog "Element Zero" if that's how you prefer your arrays2 -
Completed 1 year of experience in web designing and development today...
I haven't even passed out yet. I am still in 4th year computer engineering....
Hands on experience teaches me more than college lectures.... -
ranters! who knows what this is ?
0 = Ø
1 = { 0 } = {Ø}
2 = { 0, 1 } = { Ø, {Ø} }
3 = { 0, 1, 2 } = { Ø, {Ø} , {Ø, {Ø}} }
4 = { 0, 1, 2, 3 } = { Ø, {Ø}, {Ø, {Ø}}, {Ø, {Ø}, {Ø, {Ø}}} }10 -
Today's achievement: wrote game of life in K3.
neigh:{(+/,/-1 0 1!'\:/:-1 0 1!\:x)-x}
life:{(x*2=neigh x)|3=neigh x}15 -
1. Learn to be meticulous.
1. Learn to anticipate and prepare a functionality up to 90% accuracy and coding it in a one shot.
1. Become advanced in SQL.
1. Increase my modularity abstraction awareness.
1. Learn to TDD properly.
1. Don‘t get angry with my kids but explain to them with papa is always right in a Calm voice.
1. Do the same for partner.
1. Train my speed running in case partner wants to bash me.
1. Become advance d in Java.
1. Learn to write a bot.
1. Learn more about servers and hack at least one thing even if its a wifi.
1. Install kali linux.
1. Make myself a custom pc.
1. Ask god (or buddha if god is too busy) to make days longer.
1. Buy a vaporiser ao i can smoke my weed without mixing it to tobacco.
1. Get my license.
1. Start investing.
1......... -
Zoom free tier calls end after 40 minutes.
Idea: pwyw conference software where the call ends after 40 minutes if the host isn't paying €5 more monthly than everyone else in the call. There is no way to discover whether this is a limited call until the 40 minute mark, and there's no way to discover who outbid the host at all except by getting everyone to show their bank statement.1 -
for my job I need to know,
Programming, C#, Optimization, Multithreading and Async code, Working certain tools, Reading difficult written code, Understanding, Physics, Networking, Rendering, Codeloops, Memory management, Profiling tools, Being able to make Jira tickets and read Jira tickets. Understanding source control branching, merging, push and pull. bug fixing.
And I write almost 1 line of code a week on average..
I'm a programmer.2 -
On March 31st I asked our HR to print off a birthday sign for Ed for April 1st. Which I hung outside Ed's office. I also asked to put Ed's birthday as 4/1 in the electronic bulletin board at work. I was hoping for Ed to see the bulletin board on Monday. He did see this Friday. He knew it was me and was a good sport about it. He kept the birthday sign on his office all day.1
-
½ Rant, !dev;
HECK i missed the exact moment it happened >.<
but THANK YOU so much for (1 << 10) ++'s!
like who cares celebrating 1000 :P
Thank you guys <3
Shoutouts to @jiffier for being the 1024'th ++er6 -
Non-co-worker rant:
Today:21 Jan, projects 5: 3 games:1 unity, 1 Java, 1 vba; 1 angular app and 1 lex compiler. due date 24 Jan.1 -
Just got a new internet connection with a Fritzbox which has a big led "WiFi" on it, but doesn't send WiFi nor has an option in their config to enable such. Apparently they sell "another" router (which is exactly the same) for 2,99€ per month with WiFi. Seems like they disabled the WiFi if you don't pay.... Hmmmmmmmm.
Let's see how easy it is to break it.6 -
!devRant (tis a rant but not a dev-rant)
My main man is mad! 2 hour flight delay and missing the connecting flight. Guess we'll have to stay in Atlanta!
-
how to describe the feeling when you started using sql and you had to get the first element from a table via jdbc...
you, obviously, think "oh, the first index is 0, every languages start at 0, so let's take the content at 0!!!" but the ide returns you "0 < 1"
so you don't understand, you stare the code for 20 mins, you start crying, and then you realize sql starts counting from 1 because it pretends to be cool BUT IT DOESN'T
I hate you, sql.5 -
Saw the following SQL in an SP at work:
Type_ID = CASE Product.Type_ID
WHEN 1 THEN 1
WHEN 2 THEN 1
WHEN 3 THEN 2
WHEN 4 THEN 3
END
Seems a little bit redundant to me :-)...1 -
int main() {
char age = 0x14;
char tmp = 1;
while ( age & tmp ) {
age &= ~tmp;
tmp <<= 1;
}
return age |= tmp;
}1 -
Some time I just love comments that are brain twisters.
```
( [ helpers.must_not(helpers.prefix("response", "10")) ] if _type=="detractors" else [] ) )
# Above line prevents the condition 10 is 1 but 1 is not 10 making 10 is 10 and 1 is 1 and 1 is not 10
```1 -
Since finally fixing my email server I keep periodically getting emails with random subjects like "asdfasdfasdf" from all my test messages...
-
Goddamn react bootstrap modalbox and select2 dialogbox inputbox freezing bug!@#$
2 fucking days in my mind and I can finally discard you. It was tabindex="-1" on sibling DOM Nodes. Sweet cherry bananas. From now on I'll keep an eye on you. -
I needed to rewrite pagination from:
A) 1 ... [3] 4 5 6 ... 13
B) 1 ... [4] 5 6 7 ... 13
To:
A) 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 13
B) 1 ... 3 [4] 5 6 ... 13
And the maths got me a headache3 -
So, I am fresh CS grad working at his first dev job at a pretty small startup (less than 20 people).
The Engineering team has 7 people and it's relatively flat.
At times, the senior engineers in my team, have 1:1's with the CEO and (what I feel is) some decisions are taken according to that meeting.
I feel kind of uncomfortable about this secrecy etc. even though I know that at least right now I am not experienced enough to be a "decision-maker".
Is this normal? Idk if this is how politics in the workplace happens.. looking for advice on what I should do regarding this..
Also, it doesn't help that I am literally the only Software Engineer (all other Engineers are Senior Software Engineers or CTO) so there is this generational gap which has limited my ability to "really connect" with anyone on the team.4 -
This is how my AntLang code looks like:
repeat[{echo',|{[+]<x*2>,(4le+)take(0eq(x\4)mod 6)take<(+\1)%3>}'x};{1};<1>]
:D -
!rant
GRUB_INIT_TUNE="300 369 2 329 2 82 1 0 2 82 1 92 1 98 1 0 1 130 1 0 1 123 7"
"Feel Good Inc" - Gorillaz up to the second "feel good"1 -
Hugo framework:
1 hour to set it up
1 day to read the documentation
1 eternity to actually fucking deploy it5 -
SELECT true AS "Go to gym?"
FROM DUAL
WHERE
(SELECT WAIST_SIZE_INCHES FROM ME.BODY) > 32
AND
EXISTS
(SELECT 1 FROM ME.DESIRE UNION ALL
SELECT 1 FROM ME.TRANSPORTATION UNION ALL
)
AND NOT EXISTS
(SELECT 1 FROM ME.SCHEDULING_CONFLICTS UNION ALL
SELECT 1 FROM ME.SICK UNION ALL
SELECT 1 FROM WORK.PRODUCTION_OUTAGE UNION ALL
SELECT 1 FROM WIFE.DATE_NIGHT
);1 -
Gonna buy a "cheap" mechanical keyboard...
Which one of these :
1. https://amazon.com/Redragon-KUMARA-...
2. https://amazon.com/dp/B01M0QEYR4/...3 -
Ah ffs, its 1 AM and my tube light stopped working all of a sudden.
Climbed on a table to check the tube, the tube didn't glow and I lost balance and BANG! I fell. I hope I didn't wake up dad. Man, I should seriously lose some weight.
I hope I didn't break my laptop. Too scared to check. Plus leg hurts. Bruise.
Feels like I shall have a swell leg in the morning. But again, I wouldn't have to go out. So that's a plus.5 -
How many developers does it take to install a white board...
3, and 1 QA, 1 designer, 1 project manager and 3 attempts...9 -
In connection to my previous rant :
https://devrant.com/rants/1550299/...
Now it directly jumped to 100 %. Great job Microsoft
if things.ready() is False :
status=1%
else:
status = 100% -
const json = {key: 0}
json.key=1
console.log(json);
>>> {key: 1}
I just wasted ages debugging that7 -
I'm having a laptop which is powered by i5 3230M with 6G memory (1 x 4G and 1 x 2G). Sometimes I can feel the lag while I'm working on multiple IDEs. So, how much more memory do you guys suggest?
(2 x 4G) or (1 x 4G and 1 x 8G)19 -
Today my unixstickers propack arrived finally!🤑
Telling the truth I am not evnolved in any of these technologies 🤣. I am an SAP/ABAP consultant with one year of experience and I don't feel I am going to put these over my Thinkpad🤔
Maybe it's time to get some devRant stickers, I really love them☺️
5 -
The credit card autocomplete function of Google chrome issues TWO bank statements each autocomplete. 1. -1$ 2. +1$ :/
-
so... self-referential arrays.
do you know any languages that have them? thoughts?
what I mean is (in pseudo-c# syntax) :
string[] r = new string[]{ "1", "2", self[0] + " and " + self[1] };
which would result in an array with items:
1
2
1 and 29 -
Best Linux distro for a 2-in-1 laptop that I also want to use as a tablet? Are there any that can run Android apps natively (like ChromeOS but not ChromeOS because I also wanna do dev)?2
-
A beautiful but fundamentally flawed Rust one-liner I found in my own code during refactoring today:
iter.size_hint().1.map_or_else(Vec::new, Vec::with_capacity)14 -
Is ± read from left to right or right to left?
So if I write 1m ± 1% ± 1% does that mean 1m ± 2.01% (1% applied twice) or 1m ± 1.01% (1% applied to 1%)?8 -
I took a few days off to move and when I came back, my manager had posted a message in chat about how horrible one of the naming conventions was (an implementation I made). One of my co-workers then defended it and defended something else I wrote that he was complaining about.
We had a 1:1 the day I got back and holy shit ... I did loose my cool and I'm not proud of it, but the guy went totally bat shit. He said I was the problem with them team, screaming about going off and writing rouge things, how he was my boss and I needed to do what he fucking told me to.
In my 20+ years in tech, I have never had to deal with a psycho. He served work release for assault and witness tampering last year and he told us a story that made it seem like it was his all his "crazy ex-girlfriend" who made trumped up charges. After that conversation, I doubt that's the case.
He's still under house arrest for something else until the end of May too. The entire team told me not to do any 1:1 calls with him and our project manager, who is really amazing, will probably be on any calls we need to do in the future.
I've also all confidence in him as a manager. Even when our PM tried to do a retro for the team, he still passively aggressively bitched about things that obviously related to my projects and the entire team could see it. -
The heck is wrong with the testing framework. I can obviously see that it a correct value why doesn't the test case pass.
FAILED:
REQUIRE( positive==static_cast<double>(0.7352941176) )
with expansion:
0.7352941176 == 0.7352941176
===============================================================================
test cases: 1 | 1 failed
assertions: 1 | 1 failed10 -
Portrait of Me, Writting Documentation -- a short french film:
The processes applied to any section of memory utilized for a given purpose should be strictly limited to those declared by the associated type that encapsulates the purpose in question until release or mutation.
That is to say, improperly encoding the intended usage of such a block by utilizing an identical type or alias thereof for a multitude of incompatible situations, giving place to guesswork to arise, constitutes the prostitution of an abstraction.
Such heinous acts of symbolical pimping have received strong condemnation from multiple digital rights organizations, as well as our own, prestigious office. Let it be made Crystal, Alizé and Hennessy clear, that we will not stand for this kind of degenerate practice, and that any heretical sects and cabals built around worship of the strange creatures that arise every eleventh night from the depths of the Black Mausoleum will be prosecuted with the full force of the law.
As a young, corageous man once said at the peak of his career: "it is only through the self-inflicted, hyperbolic discharge of smouldered, comminute perennial anadenanthera colubrina spermatic fluid that the cannonical transfiguration of our collective rectosigmoid junction can be brought to fruition". He was immediately violated with might and ire far beyond our wildest, most profligately depraved fantasies, yet his message lives on.
I leave you now to be ritually and figuratively blown by a posssessed mortician that is to become concubine to our dark master; the long journey to the old graveyard will be perilous, and my destination most assuredly fatal, as I depart to give my firstborn to our Lord Berzchjanzad -- a blood sacrifice meant to appease him from peeling off my skin and refashioning it into a bloodied scarf to be worn around his thumping, grandemonic cock.
And in this moment, as I stare blankly at this teleprompter, the president wishes to reassure you of his sacred vows of stalwart and promethean gayhood, and may __these__ nuts bounce on chins forevermore. Here's to *not* bleeding to death in retribution for this unending litany of sins...
Yet all predictions come to pass.
««««««««««« finẽ »»»»»»»»»»» -
Effective 1:1s are perhaps the most important soft skill that no one teaches you.
The HR onboarding section for 1:1s is only chapter one. But your manager won't teach you, your skip level won't teach you, and your mentor won't teach you. At best one of them even has an effective 1:1 skill set.
90% of 1:1s become operations: What went wrong this week and what needs to happen next week. Basically a private standup.
You attend 1:1s all year and yet somehow your manager doesn't know the difficulties you overcame, what you'd like to change, or how you're pushing yourself to grow. Then you get re-orged to a new manager.
If like to meet someone with effective 1:1s *and* low job satisfaction.3 -
If the clock is not complicated enough, with DST and timezones.... holidays and red days is even more complicated..... (a perl sub which returns all red days for sweden. It does not return any holidays thats always saturday or sunday)
Requires Date::Calc and Date::Easter
What a mess dates and times become..,
sub GetHoliDayList() {
$yeartocheck = $_[0];
$holiday{'1-1'} = '1';
$holiday{'1-6'} = '1';
$holiday{'5-1'} = '1';
$holiday{'6-6'} = '1';
$holiday{'6-24'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-24'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-25'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-26'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-31'} = '1';
($eastermonth, $easterday) = gregorian_easter( $yeartocheck );
$hea = int($eastermonth)."-".int(int($easterday) - 2);
$heb = int($eastermonth)."-".int(int($easterday) + 1);
$holiday{$hea} = '1';
$holiday{$heb} = '1';
($year,$christskytravellermonth,$christskytravellerday) = Add_Delta_YMD($yeartocheck,$eastermonth,$easterday, 0,0,39);
$chstv = int($christskytravellermonth)."-".int($christskytravellerday);
$holiday{$chstv} = '1';
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,19) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-19'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,20) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-20'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,21) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-21'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,22) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-22'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,23) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-23'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,24) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-24'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,25) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-25'} = '1';
}
return %holiday;
} -
Swizzling is like smoking weed; you're not supposed to do it, but a hell of a lot of people do it anyways.1
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