Recipe for Ice Coffee:
1: Make Coffee
2: Start coding
3: Forget you made Coffee
4: Drink it cold

Playing 'Skip-Bo' with my daughter.
She: "Why isn't there a zero in this game? You know...0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...."

MY daughter ❤️.

1: Get a dog
2: Name dog Sudo
3: Teach Sudo to fetch my mail
4: Invite Linux-friend over
5: Yell "sudo fetchmail"
6: ?
7: Profit

5 things you will find shocking about asynchronous code:

3.
2.
5.
1.
4.

Some ideas for variable names. Thank me later :))

1. bool sheet;
2. int entionally;
3. char mander;
4. double penetration;
5. string cheese;
6. long schlong;

*Late night at office*
Was rewriting my stack from angularjs 1 to angularjs 2. Got drowsy and slept.

*Wakes up and opens Hackernews*
Angularjs 4 announced.

How long was I asleep !!

So I "grade" homework for programming 1 students...
Task was to produce an output like:
1
1 2
1 2 3
1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4 5

...and this was committed!
I really had to hold back laughter...
This looks purposefully obfuscated...

World's most dangerous addictions :

4) Cannabis

3) Methamphetamines

2) Heroin

1) Distro hopping

The 5 stages of debugging:

1. What?
2. Why?
3. How?
4. Impossible.
5. Oh.

Before you're hired:
1. A binary tree?
2. Currying?
3. Higher-order function?
4. How does event loop work?
5. What is prototype?
6. What is encapsulation?
7. Can you draw an algorithm?

After you're hired:
1. Hey, can you add auth token and login to our app?

Popularity of programming languages according to the DRRDSI (DevRant Rubber Duck Selling Index):

1. JS
2. Java
3. Python
4. C#
5. PHP
6. C++
7. Ruby
8. SQL
9. Swift

1. Go to office!
2. Make coffee!!
3. Start computer.
4. Get to wo.."Windows must restart in order to install some updates".
4. 3 hours later => "Working on updates 68% n/ Don't turn off your PC. This will take a while."
4. Fuck this, I'm going home.

I miss Linux...

Basically my life:
1. Work
2. Game
3. Work on a project nobody will ever use
4. Food
5. Make offensive jokes about WW2

‪How to get your Jira ticket resolved:‬

‪1: Assign in it the person‬
‪2: Mention him on the ticket‬
‪3: Remember the ticket number ‬
‪4: Sneak into his office‬
‪5: ‬

Top 6 programming languages:
6) All
5) Languages
4) Serve
3) Some
2) Purpose
1) C++

Problems with Android development

1. Android Studio is shitte
2. Android API is shitte
3. Gradle is shitte
4. Emulator is shitte
5. My life is shitte

10 Things You’ll Find Shocking About Asynchronous Operations:

3.
2.
7.
4.
6.
1.
9.
10.
5.
8.

(found on twitter by @iamdevloper 😂)

1. Finish my own game
2. Get a publisher
3. Get rich
4. Buy a big house with a swimming pool on the top and get 2 bisex girlfriends

My $1 Unix stickers took 4 days to arrive at my complex in my Bulgarian village. Wonderful Monday to you all, you fucks!

How to hack:
1: Open commandline
2: color 2
3: cd c:/
4: tree
...
5: Profit

1 hour to install Windows 10
4 hours installing windows updates
8 hours installing visual studio enterprise

*sigh*

Modern web developer Stater pack
1.Mac with 100 stickers on it
2.Love linux but never used it
3.Border 0px
4.Border radius 2.7px
5.sketch+adobe

Learning a new technology:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
6. Ohh, cool feature~

Top 5 social media platforms:

1. devRant
2. devRant
3. devRant
4. devRant
5. devRant

How to waste 7 hours of your time:
1.) Install Visual Studio 2017
2.) Install extensions for it
3.) Wait for it to destroy itself with updates
4.) Reinstall everything

1. Code works
2. Add if statement
3. Code breaks
4. Comment out if statement
5. Code works
6. Uncomment if statement
7. Code works
8. Wtf??

1. Create user on website.
2. Receives mail with username and password.
3. Changes password.
4. Receives mail with new password.
5. Delete account and look for another service.

1) Build enough confidence to ask a girl out for a date.

2) find a girl to ask for a date.

3) ???

4) profit

Recipe of cold coffee.
Step 1: Make Coffee
Step 2: Start Coding
Step 3: Forget you made Coffee
Step 4: Drink it Cold

Don't say thank you I understand!

This is how 1 Gbit/s internet looks like here in Russia. It’s amazingly stable and it costs $4/mo

“ 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 10 ”

(Microsoft and Apple signing)

10-1 AM - 4 of us got drunk.
2-4 AM - 2 hours straight coding, solving big-ass problems
10 AM - Fucking hangover and python code in a java project!

HTTP return codes cheat sheet :
1** : Hold on
2** : Here you go
3** : Go away
4** : You fucked up
5** : I fucked up

What I feel when browsing recent lately.

How to get ++:
1. Get Google Allo
2. Ask question about Siri
3. Screenshot and post
4. ???
5. Profit!

Group Project
1.Make a slack Channel.
2.Make a private repo
3.Give everyone access to do anything.
4. Wait for people to talk and commit code.
5...............R.I.P

need a good idea for app or game? follow this quick guide.

1. prepare a notebook.
2. prepare a pen.
3. go to toilet.
4. start writing the ideas.
5. make millions.

Top 5 reasons to come to Hackathon
1. Experience for your CV
2. Free swags
3. Networking
4. Free swags
5. Free Stickers (swags)

1
10
11
12
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
Lets sort numbers like this!
-Greetings from my file manager!

I'll start my own series on hacking.

BECOME A HACKER WITH 4 SIMPLE STEPS!!!!!1!

#1 Open cmd

#2 Enter hackermode
Type "color 0a"

#3 write a Hackerscript
Type "%0 | %0"
Step 3 is a bit risky and may fail. Reboot and repeat until you understand why it failed

#4 Realize that the internet is scary place and that you can't trust anyone.

10 Things You’ll Find Shocking About Asynchronous Operations:

3.
2.
7.
4.
6.
1.
9.
10.
5.
8.

After 1 year I have finally quit my sysadmin job!

Got my first dev job as a fullstack node.js dev!!!!

4 years of IT boredom is finally over!

WOOHOOO!
😎😁

1.Run into issue
2.Go to Stack Overflow
3.Think of best way to phrase the question
4.Find solution while editing post
5.Bang head on desk

My work day is now:

1. Coffee
2. Code
3. Poop while on devrant
4. Repeat

🙈😝💩

1) Open devRant app
2) Enjoy so many great rants
3) Thinks is enough
4) Quit devRant app
5) Immediately open devRant again without thinking
6) ....

(damn my muscle memory)

Best one minute life hack..
1. Uninstall Facebook Messenger
2. Uninstall WhatsApp
3. Uninstall Instagram, Snapchat
4. Install DevRant.

1. Started to program Python 3
2. Thought of doing a little program just for fun
3. Now 1 1/2 years in developing state with nearly 3000 lines of code and 11 modules
4. Python skills :)

1. Promise anything, everything to clients
2. Set unrealistic deadlines
3. Devs can't meet deadlines
4. Blame the devs

Anyone?

Wikihow: how to start programming.

1: install devRant
2: register for stackOverflow
3: add Quora to you blacklist
4: learn programming!

What do you guys do when you get bored at work?

this is what I do:

1. Drink Water
2. Stare at the code
3. Go to Bathroom
4. repeat

#Programming alone

print "Hello World!"

#Programming while someone watches

global _start

section .data
msg db "Hello, World!", 10
len equ $ - msg
section .text
_start:
mov rax, 4
mov rbx, 1
mov rcx, msg
mov rdx, len
int 0x80
mov rax, 1
mov rbx, 0
int 0x80

After Bought Minecraft, I'm planning to create a Programmable 4-bit Computer.

Just Finished Building ALU, So Here's my Progress Screenshots :

1. Op-Codes and Input A Sides

What fresh hell is this

.replaceAll("(//"?)([^//d]+)(//.?)([^//d]+)(//.?)([//d]{3})(//.?)([^/d]+)(//"?)","$1$2$3$4$5$6$7$8$9")

...who is fucking with me

1) Install Debian 9
2) Select GNOME
3) Hate GNOME
4) Uninstall GNOME
5) Install LXDE
6) Love GNOME

Today, for fun, I wrote prime number generation upto 1000 using pure single MySQL query.

No already created tables, no procedures, no variables. Just pure SQL using derived tables.

So does this mean that pure SQL statements do not have the halting problem?

Putting an EXPLAIN over the query I could see how MySQL guessed that the total number of calculations would be 1000*1000 even before executing the query in itself and this is amazing ♥️

I have attached a screenshot of the query and if you are curious, I have also left below the plain text.

PS this was a SQL problem in Hackerrank.

MySQL query:

select group_concat(primeNumber SEPARATOR '&') from
(select numberTable.number as primeNumber from

(select cast((concat(tens, units, hundreds)+1) as UNSIGNED) as number from

(select 0 as units union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) unitsTable,
(select 0 as tens union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) tensTable,
(select 0 as hundreds union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) hundredsTable order by number) numberTable

inner join

(select cast((concat(tens, units, hundreds)+1) as UNSIGNED) as divisor from

(select 0 as units union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) unitsTable,
(select 0 as tens union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) tensTable,
(select 0 as hundreds union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) hundredsTable order by divisor) divisorTable

on (divisorTable.divisor<=numberTable.number and divisorTable.divisor!=1)
where numberTable.number%divisorTable.divisor=0
group by numberTable.number having count(*)<=1 order by numberTable.number) resultTable;

1.) Start a small business
2.) Complete my game
3.) Graduate
4.) Get a good University for Masters

1: Open my IDE
2: Think about how much I have to do
3: Try to do it
4: Eventually switch to YouTube

When you see a Java devotee using Python and they're doing something like this:

array = [1, 2, 3, 4]
for n in range(0,len(array)):
print(array[n])

At least I get to tell them "hey it doesn't have to be so hard just do it like this:"

array = [1, 2, 3, 4]
for n in array:
print(n)

choose any one:
your number of friends is:

1) NaN
2) Null
3) Not defined
4) 0

I just can't learn dance moves, every tutorial is like 1, 2, 3, 4 ... 1, 2, 3, 4 where's the freeken first step?

Alone on valentines?
1: Buy 100s of plastic rings
2: Hide in the kitchen of a fancy restaurant
3: Put rings in glasses of champagne
4: Watch

1. Get a glass of water.
2. Start coding.
3. Solve a problem.
3. Get up and go get another glass of water.
4. Now you have two glasses of water.

Me: Dear Boss, what should I do first? Thanks 😇
1. Rush
2. ASAP
3. Urgent
4. Important
5. Priority
6. I Need That Now

Wannabe college coder starter pack:
1) SUN Certified JAVA Programmer
2) W3Schools Certificate
3) I know all computer languages
4) I'm going to Join Google by the end of college.

1. Better pay.
2. Better Dev work.
3. An xbox/PS4 in office.
4. Better planning.

1. Buy a road
2. Name it after an sql injection
3. Have mail delivered to you
4. ...
5. Profit... I guess?

Weekend plan:
1. I will watch react conf
2. I want to complete vim cheat sheet
3. LFS project is too
4. Netflix
5. ........
...
.
.

Electricity : 😈

Fuck..
😡

4 step process.

1. Loud music on the way home

2. Vent to the wife. Because she listens and is awesome.

3. Kill stuff in games. ESO or any shooter.

4. Sleep.

After all that the next day is fresh and new and all is good and right in the world.

0. Get a raise
1. Nove out
2. Learn GoLang
3. Have a threesome
4. More weed
5. Build a blockchain project

A woman can make 4 babies with 4 different fathers in 9 months, right?

Someone decided we need a "rubber band programmer" who bounces around from project to project as needed, and that gets to be me.

So I work on 4 projects, with 3 programming languages, 4 frameworks, and with users in 4 complicated industries, none of which I have experience with.

And my boss wonders why I'm not as productive as everyone who has worked on 1 project for 5 years.

dev 1: "Use 4 spaces."
dev 2: "2 spaces are better."
dev 3: "No, use tabs!"

My favorite languages are
1. Python (3)
2. PHP
3. JavaScript
4. Ruby
5. Java

Honorable mention: C++

Can anyone agree?

1. Finish my degree
2. Get good job
3. Leave current shithole of a country
4. Marry girlfriend

1) Download version 46 of Firefox as required.

2) Install version 46

3) Open Firefox

4) Firefox then auto updates to version 52

5) Face smash desk and repeat

Heard my team leader is leaving, this leaves me as the only developer in the company, we went from 4 all the way down to 1... #thiscompanyisamess

Getting real fucking sick of shitty websites excessive security measures!

1. Username
2. Password
3. Captcha
4. Mandatory 2FA

We don't recognize your IP, please log into your email, click the link, get redirected and complete steps 1-4 again! Also the site will time out in 10 minutes if you aren't actively using it. Have a nice day!

Go fuck yourself.

4 screens is better than 1.

NOTE: 4th Screen is Laptop Screen :)

1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + “6”

1. Start programming to solve a beautiful problem.
2. Setting up my IDE.
3. Creating nem project.
4. Start coding, but dig into first little problem.
5. After 10 hours give up.

1. Participate in an online hackathon
2. Upload demo video to youtube
3. Submit in the last minute
4. Come back 1 hour later to see video removed due to length violation.

FML :(

how people count

normal people: 1 2 3 4 5 6....
me: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6...
them: wtf u doing, 0 is not included

Windows 7, Windows 8, Windows 10

Now,

Angular 1, Angular 2, Angular 4

section .text
    global _start

section .data
msg db  'Hello, world!',0xa
len equ $ - msg 

section .text

_start:
    mov edx,len
    mov ecx,msg
    mov ebx,1
    mov eax,4
    int 0x80

    mov ebx,0
    mov eax,1
    int 0x80

1. Mailserver is down.
2. Write a ticket to provider.
3. Can't get a reponse because of 1.
4. ?????
5. Profit
6. Scratch that. We're a start-up.

how do you pronounce PHP?

1- pe-he-pe
2- pé-hash-pé
3- pe-itch-pe
4- perverted hell poop

Reciepe for cold coffee:
1. Make Coffee
2. Start Coding
3. Forget you made coffee
4. Drink it cold

What do you guys call the ++'s on the post?
1. Increments
2. Upvotes
3. Plus pluses (lol)
4. Something else

Reply with your choice🦄

Father devrant I have a confession to make:

I stayed up until 12 in the midnight during Sep 30 to do 4 PRs immediately once it was October 1 in under 1 hour...

Now I passed out on the classroom and people think I got possesed

b r u h

For fucks sake if I send you a clearly described 5 step install instructions do not start on step 3! Yes you fucking moron instructions labeled 1,2,3,4,5 should be carried out one after the other! Not in random order.

Seriously, how deranged are you that you have never ever encountered a step-by-step instruction before?!

Don't give me that "oh, should I have started with step 1 first? You weren't very clear about that. I think it is a bit too complicated."

Here are some more instructions:
1. Close your PC
2. Donate it to someone with detectable IQ level
3. Go fuck yourself
4. Please die
5. Yes, start with step 1

You want to be Satan?
1) Make this their desktop background
2) Install a program that disables their mouse.
3) hide their taskbar
4) hide their desktop icons.
5) Profit!

!rant
1) Finish your project
2) Decide to localize it
3) Suffer
4) Suffer much more

Step 1: try a third party defragmentation tool as windows' one is shit
Step 2: go to sleep while shit is getting done
Step 3: ???
Step 4: prof- Wait what ? Fuuuuu

How to solve a problem in 7 steps.
1. Google
2. Open links
3. Read
4. Copy
5. Paste
6. Run
7. Repeat until solve

1. Set your podcast player to 0.5x speed
2. Listen to your favorite dev podcast
3. Imagine they're all drunk
4. Profit

import datetime
age=19

while not dead:
today=datetime.datetime.today()
if today.day == 1 and today.month == 4:
age+=1
print("🎉")

Method 1:
1. Read others' people answers on wk70
2. Apply
3. ???
4. Profit
Method 2:
1. cd <ProjectName>
2. git init
3. dotnet new sln
4. dotnet new console #or webapi/lib
5. code .
6. git commit -m "Initial commit"
7. git remote add origin <github link>
8. git push origin master -u
9. profit

story points that equate to hours.
1 = 1 hour
2 = 1-2 hours
3 = 3-4 hours
5 = 6-8 hours
8 = Kill. Me.
13 = Now.

Top 5 World’s Most Hated Programming Languages

1. Perl

2. Delphi

3. VBA

4. Objective-C

5. PHP

Which one do you hate most?

So, my company changed coffee machine around 1 month ago... yesterday at 4:20pm we made into 1k coffees taken

I am currently refactoring my code:
1. 200 errors
2. fixed them!!!!
3. build the solution...
4. wait for the build to complete...
5. 300 errors
6. FML

1. Read about software engineering/design patterns, tools etc.
2. Adopt information to my requirements
3. Write code
4. Delete my shitty code from point 3.
5. Goto point 3

Not usually a person to rant about spacing and conventions but this is great.

4 devs, all using IntelliJ. Now IntelliJ auto-changes tabs to spaces which is nice, and GitHub doesn’t really care as long as the spacing is consistent. Now here is the fun part: 2 devs have 4 spaces per tab, 1 has 3 spaces, 1 has 5 spaces.
GitHub merge conflicts everyWHERE.

And yes it isn’t the old 2 vs 4 spaces. It’s 3 vs 4 vs 5 somehow

Steps to work on android studio -
1] Open android studio
2] Wait for an hour.
3] Wait for the build.
4] Build failed.
5] Get frustrated, close it.
6] Repeat 1-5.

0-headphones
1-coffee
2-Laptop
3-npm
4-IDE
5-wifi
6-devRant

My 1000 job applications tiktok journey may come to an end soon

Had 2, now I cant believe i have 3 (or 4) interviews from 3-4 different companies scheduled day after day, or hour after hour depending on schedule i choose. All of them are very interested in hiring me. For 7 months i couldnt find a job and almost no one wanted to interview. Ever since i went to the Church for Easter to pray, all of a sudden 4 new doors opened to me 1 week later, all in 1 week...

:/
Project i got to work couldn't get worse
1)Legacy code
2)mathematical model based emulation
3)no proper comments
4)deadline approaching

section .text
global _start

_start:
mov edx,len
mov ecx,msg
mov ebx,1
mov eax,4
int 0x80
mov eax,1
int 0x80

section .data

msg db 'Yo Mama So Fat',0xa
len equ $ - msg

4 stages of using VIM:

1. Survive
2. Fell Comfortable
3. Feel Better, Stronger, Faster
4. Use Super-powers of VIM

1) Open IE or Edge
2) Search "download chrome"
3) Click on top hit
4) Download and run installer
5) Enjoy adware

What do you wanna become? / What are you?

1. PHP Developer
2. Python Developer
3. Node.Js Developer
4. JavaScript Developer
5. Java Developer
6. Android Developer
7. Other (please mention in comment)

1. Get error message
2. Google error message
3. Paste Stack Overflow answer
4. GOTO 1

When my headphones are on :
1 - I can't hear you
2 - I don't care
3 - It's your problem not mine
4 - I don't care

1. Visit the official site.
2. Browse for official tools.
3. Check the official documentation.
4. Check the Internet for other non-audiovisual sources.
5. Try making a simple application.
6. Run out of application ideas.
7. Move on to the next shiny dev technology.
8. Go to step #1.

How to make an ice tea:-
1. Make tea.
2. Start coding.
3. Forget about it.
4. Now after coding check your tea.
5. You have your ice tea ready.

Searching for other occurrences of highlighted word in Android Studio

1 - highlight word
2 - CMD+F
3 - Enter

In Xcode

1 - highlight word
2 - CMD + C
3 - CMD + F
4 - CMD + V
5 - Enter

What do U prefere? ☕

0. Coffee
1. Tea
2. Warm milk
3. Monster
4. Something else

1. Learn Kotlin
2. Actually sit down and push through machine learning.
3. Finish integral calculus and start multivariable calc.
4. Work on 1 project until completion.
5. Socialize a bit more.
6. Obliterate bugs.

The debugging loop for Minecraft Spigot plugins on a 4GB RAM laptop:
1. Start Eclipse - 1'
2. Edit code.
3. Build plugins - 2'
4. Close Eclipse to make RAM room for Minecraft.
5. Upload plugins to server with FTP - 1'
6. Start server and launch Minecraft - 2'
7. Enter the server.
8. Find bugs.
9. Stop the server, close Minecraft.
[Go back to 1.]

Step by step here:
1. Choosing a stack
2. What to put where(folder structure)
3. Naming stuff(variables, classes etc etc)
4. Finish what I started.

Step 1: Download archlinux.iso
Step 2: realise your worthlessness
Step 3: Newborn awe for arch users.
Step 4: Ubuntu????

Just kidding though. Not giving up till system breaks atleast 7 times..😑

Out for a while...No laptop for 4 days... 😢😢😔😔

Day 1: Withdrawal

Time spent during a nodejs project:
- 2-4 hours trying to install modules and dependencies.
- 1 hour actual coding!

!rant
User: "Hello, I'd like to hear a torrent joke."
Tracker: "I will refer you to people who can tell you a torrent joke."
Peer 1: "Why d"
Peer 2: "cken "
Peer 3: "road?"
Peer 4: "id th"
Peer 3: "cross"
Peer 1: "e chi"
Peer 5: " the "
Peer 2: "the o"
Peer 4: "To ge"
Peer 1: "side."
Peer 5: "ther"
Peer 2: "t to "

After 4 weeks of vacation I am back in business.
Now I need 1 week to rest after the vacation.

How I stay focused:

1. Isolating headphones with energizing music.
2. Partition of job to smaller tasks (1-2h of work)
3. Short break after each task.
4. Closed DevRant, Facebook, Reddit and other media.

Ok... So iPhone X cames with 3gb ram and 2.7 mAh battery....
Fuck the new Xiami that costs 1/4 comes with 4gb ram and a 4mAh battery...

1. Make a plan
2. Execute the plan
3. Expect the plan to go horribly wrong
4. Improvise

Truest words to come out of the DC (or any) universe!!!

What i have been doing so far
1) create project
2) search google for help
3) copy & paste
4) compile
If not working GOTO 2, else
5) feel good for days

My small collection

2 DD 8" floppy disks
2 MD 2-D 5" 1/4 floppy disks
2 HD 3" 1/2 floppy disks
1 Jaz disk
1 unassembled 3" 1/2 floppy disk
1 PalmOne sticker to learn the letters of Graffiti 2 (I had a M100, but I do not anything related to it anymore.)

1. Learn Python
2. Learn C#
3. Use CI in my projects
4. (Not dev related) find a girlfriend

1) Heck yeah, great idea
2) Sit like 60 minutes there thinking about a name for the project
3) Build the basics
4) ..meh fuck it

I feel guilty. I commited 1 typo fix in a public library, which triggered 4 pipelines. I literally replaced one character

On Mac, open Terminal...

1. Enter cd ~/
2. Enter emacs
3. Press Esc
4. Enter X
5. Enter either; tetris, snake, or pong
6. Enjoy!

1. Send the contract for a new project to the customer
2. They inform you that the project is canceled
...
...
3. Receive the contract signed by the customer
...
4. ???
5. PROFIT

1) read every pages of the tech's website
2) follow documentation
3) read online tutorials
4) try to use it in currently working some projects

1. Social Networking Sites
2. Office Group Chat
3. Noise Background
4. Poop and Pee

🤖

Goals
1. Learn android development
2. Spend more time coding than procastinating (its not my job)
3. Learn more cpp
4. Publish my first android app
5. Finish my current project

I bought 30 random stickers for 1 € on wish today. Thousand times better than buying 4 stickers for 6,99€ etc...
I hope they'll arrive 🤣

studying computers at a college were
1/4 aim to become a model
1/4 are trying to become photographers
1/4 don't know what's happening yet
1/4 are actually interested in computers
#indianEducationSystem

Step 1: open CMD
Step 2: *color 2*
Step 3: *mode 1000*
Step 4: forget what you actually wanted to do

1. Gaming
2. Music "development" (I suck tho)
3. Netflix and chill, just without Netflix
4. Trying to write a book and procrastination is going great so far
5. Cats. Are. Life

Life as a developer:
1. install cool new lib
2. getting an error
3. google for solutions
4. try one solution => step 2
+ repeat recursively

Using a mac from time to time:

1) Open browser
2) Open Gmail website
3) Insert email address
4) Press CMD+Q to write @
5) FUCK!!!

Priorities:
1. Work
2. Eat
3. Save money
4. Do less of #1
5. Do more of #4
6. Sleep
7. Talk to people
7a. Nevermind - stretch goal

4 roles in 1 job... is being a dev getting to an era of slavery?

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s already 1/4 of 2018.

So two guys at the company I work for just quitted, We were 4 in the "dev" department, 2 front end and 2 back end, now we're just 1 front and 1 back, should I try to get a raise?? I've been working steady for 8 months now.

there it is, couting with: 2 instantes of VisualStudio, 3 of chrome, 1 of firefox, 1 of gvim, 1 of notepad.exe, 1 of Spotify and 2 real notepads in the desk.

2 projects, 4 databases and 1 deadline tomorrow 😂.

man, the 2 monitor setup really helps, when you can, go get one for yourself.

Tried pomedoro technique copule of time found that this doesn't work for mE. The only things worked is
1) do 4 hours straight
2) take 1 hour break
3) do another 4 hour straight
works much wetter

[Me at night]

1 Me: should I sleep?
2 Brain: right after finishing this module
3 Me: <drinking coffee>
4 goto 1

Picture a small product team, the dev side of it has 1 tech lead, 1 recently promoted senior dev, 1 junior dev.

1 - Offer your tech lead a severance package
2 - Hire a mid-level and a junior dev
3 - Give the product lead role to someone in their mid-20s that has no tech or project management background
4 - ???

The next 6 months are going to be interesting ones...

recent revelation
(16/9)^(1/2)=(4/3)

Step 1: Make an account on some website with the username "{username}"
Step 2 : Take a screenshot when the website sends you some kind of personalised email
Step 3 : Add some caption saying "lol this website is so broken!!1!1!!"
Step 4 : ???
Step 5 : profit

1. Hits "Run" in Android Studio.
2. Goes to make coffee knowing Gradle will take a while to build.
3. Comes back after 30 minutes.
4."Select Device"
Fuuuuuuck!😠😠

In a lecture hall
1. Try Listening to lecture
2. Finds it uninteresting
3. Think that you can later learn from video tutorials
4. One day before exam -- No time to learn..

My 2018 goals:
1. Graduate from the Deep Learning Nanodegree.
2. Get better at Python.
3. Learn C++.
4. Learn more about Machine Learning and AI.

1. Learn BBC Basic with my dad
2. Learn JavaScript on codecademy
3. Do random shit
4. Learn C#

Come up with a bad version of flipping a bool's value. (value = !value)

I'll start with a bad way of doing it in C# (.NET):

char[] bca = boolWert.ToString();
if (bca.Length == 4 && bca[0] == 't' && bca[1] == 'r' && bca[2] == 'u' && bca[3] == 'e')
{
boolWert = !bool.Parse($"{bca[0]}{bca[1]}{bca[2]}{bca[3]}");
}
else if (bca.Length == 5 && bca[0] == 'f' && bca[1] == 'a' && bca[2] == 'l' && bca[3] == 's' && bca[4] == 'e')
{
boolWert = !bool.Parse($"{bca[0]}{bca[1]}{bca[2]}{bca[3]}{bca[4]}");
}
else throw new Exception("y e s");

1. Watch tutorial
2. Build project
3. “I’VE LEARNED NOTHING!!”
4. Call down pox upon instructor and seven generations
5. Rewatch tutorial
6. Get it
7. “Sorry about the boils”

mfw
> 1 year into project in React.js with a 10+ members in team
> PM panics over last Apache statement
> PM: "fuck, rewrite it in Angular 4 : /"

Busy day yesterday. I helped lay over 6000ft of Fiber Optic cable on a military base:

1 x 5100ft 144 SM #OS2 #OSP & 2 x 500ft 24 SM OS2 OSP to link 3 bldgs/1 #splice via ~12 handholes. 4 guys, 6 hours, 100% roughed. Me +1 will fuse later.

CFOT life.

When you have a Database Theory final exam in 2 hours and you're cramming a 1/4 of the module. #uni #student

Me trying to find out what some word means

1. Google
2. Find a good result
3. Notice some other interesting word
4. Repeat

1) Keep improving Java skills
2) Keep learning Python
3) Learn Docker
4) Finally use my Raspberry Pi

Really Apple?
Are you kidding me?
And btw, why does my 1 year old battery only last 4 hours, when the phone is turned off?

How to make habits for commitment:
1.Download Snapchat
2.Follow a girl in Snapchat
3.Try to make a snap when she does
4.Change from Snapchat to Git

Whatever you do, just please don't run web server over DSL connection. Thank you

1. Exporting fat jar
2. Transferring to cluster using WinSCP
3. Running it in the cluster.
4. Find a small bug.
5. Repeat

I HATE IT

Epic comment:

1+2+3+4+....infinity = -1/12
SRC: Numberphile

Dear god, id like to file a bug report(see attached video)

Google cloud platform.

1. Great documentation and support
2. Good free tier & dev freebies
3. Cloud console + SDK rock
4. Did I mention the great documentation?
5. Seriously the documentation ❤

me: Imma start working on this project I have been putting off for a week

me after messing with the chrome console for 30 mins:
(5&&!2||(5||30=== 9)+(2||3==-1)+(22&&7)+(4||5&&3===4&&2)+(!5||5))*(!3||3)+([][[]]+{})[+[]+(![]==[])]+([][[]]+{})[+[]+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])]+(typeof(()=>{}))[+[]+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])]+([][[]]+{})[+[]+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])]

Todo list when you tell someone you are developer:
1. Fix slow computer
2. Remove virus.
3. Help with Microsoft Word
4. Check why printer is not working

1. Linux. Mint, to be precise.
2. prolly would be bash
3. rest of the GNU toolset
4. curl

1. Wrote super complex snippet w/o comments.
2. Commit & push.
3. Read code after 1 month
4. Ask yourself how you wrote that.

My goals are:
1. Start my new job in Feb.
2. Overcome the challenges I will face in the new environment.
3. Learn, learn, learn
4. Don’t forget to rest.

When in doubt shroud your spout. Or just use parentheses!

1 << 2 + 3 << 4

Q) Real Programmers count from ......?
1) 0
2) 1
3) 😪
4) 😎