* get stuck on a problem
* being depressed
* post a question on stackoverflow
* the question get downvoted
* now I am sad and depressed

100 applications did not do the job. 1 night out did...

After approximately 3 months of endless applications, interviews and rejections i was feeling depressed. One of those nights i went drinking and ended up in a club at 3am...i was tired. I wanted to leave. My gf wanted to stay and tried hard to convince me. As part of that effort, she introduced me to a guy who she claimed to have similar interests with me.....

....4 hours later...I got the job. I am now writing this story from my office...

Whenever I feel depressed in life.. I open my GMail inbox...I find:

1) 10 banks are giving me easy loans.

2) I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons.

3) 10 Job companies have best jobs for me.

4) 5 matrimonial sites have most suited matches for me.

5) Dr. Batra has claimed that he will cure my hair fall.

6) 3 universities are giving me degrees in random subjects.

I made a game. By myself. Took me six months. I struggled to complete it. It was not a good game. I was nearly depressed at the end of the project. But I'm proud I was able to finish it and published it. It made me friends in the industry and it got me my first job. So yeah it was my most successfull project. 😊

!rant
WK119
Hey guys.
For you guys that are getting depressed looking for such nice setups, please remember something...
The Facebook effect:
You only see the tip of the Iceberg, the nice things, you can't see all the shit that other people won't show.
Yes, a few have some dream setups, but most of us are lucky to have two monitors or decent hardware...
What counts is that you can work in your machine... And take the posts as Ideas for your own dream setup, when you can afford it.
Mine (Ill show when I clean this shit up) is good enough and took me 2 years to get the minimum when I could afford it.

!rant

Boss: Something urgent has come up, can you take care of this.

Me: Okay.... But I am already working on X and it's a critical thing.

Boss: No, X is no longer of priority. You need to now pick up Y.

Me: But I was already........ Never mind. Yeah sure I will start working on Y.

Next day

Boss : What is the update on X?

Me: I was working on Y, also wasn't it de prioritized.

Boss : I think I was very clear when I communicated to you that X is very critical. Also you need to learn to manage your time.

Me: FUCK MY LIFE

I get depressed during times like this.

Me: *does a keyboard shortcut*
Friend: Woaw, are you good on computers?
Me: yea.
Friend: CAN YOU HACK?
Me: yea...
Friend: WHATS MY PASSWORD?
Me: I don't know your password.
Friend: You can't hack then.

I'd probably be severely depressed and/or suicidal if this were me.

Got bored at work today and tried to write a program to do my job for me. Security and compliance saw it in the logs (trying to run unauthorized program) and came to give me a hug.

As most of you already know, I'm a writer. I've noticed the similarities between writing and programming:

1. Tabs vs spaces.

2. Both typically spend all their time with a single project.

3. Coffee... (Unless you're a tea lover like me.)

4. Both typically have no life.

5. Debugging is hell for programmers and editing/revising is hell for writers.

6. Strict clients for programming and strict editors for writing.

7. Semicolons... They're useful but everyone despises them.

8: Emotions. Programmers are angry at their code. (Why won't you work?) and writers feel depressed about their writing. (Why did you die?)

9. War of the programs. For programmers: Vim vs VScode vs Atom vs Sublime and etc. For writers: MS word vs Google docs vs Libre office and etc.

10. Online forums. Stack overflow and Writer's digest.

11. Typing... Typing... All day long.

These are only a few similarities. I've noticed a lot more than this.

PM finds my prized stress ball and draws a face on it. When asked why she said "it looked depressed".

THATS THE LOGO YOU DUMB BITCH. PLEASE DON'T TOUCH MY SHIT

On the bright side... Good thing I have this stress ball to relieve my anger 😒

I need a vacation.
I’m horribly depressed and burned out, every day for months has been a little harder than the last, and really doing anything at all is a monumental challenge, work or otherwise. Let alone working on the fucking screwdriver.

I told my boss last night and requested time off.

His response?
> Oh no, but the new screwdriver! We were all really really hoping to get it out by the end of the month!

I’m a crumpled wreck and all you care about is the fucking screwdriver that PRACTICALLY NOBODY WILL FUCKING USE? Seriously dude, go to hell.

Suicide hotline for all the jobless depressed developers.

Coding has caused a paradigm shift in the way I look at the world. Previously I would look at something and be amazed as to how it happened or was made and then depressed because I would think such things could only be done by geniuses and not by me. Now, I know that complex things are made up of many simple things and anything complex can be kind of deconstructed with enough understanding. Its an empowering feeling knowing that I can create something amaizng.

My colleague's vision of the word "structure"...........

🙁

Every girlfriend I had broke up with me and it was not even my fault...

1. A bi cheating on her girlfriend - girlfriend found out
2. Furry cheating on her boyfriend - she felt bad...
3. Hysteric b** that did not trust me for even 1 second
4. Really nice and sweet girl... that could kill me if she did not take her antipsychotics - told me she is sorry but she wants someone older (I am older than her...) - her ex before me was 42....

To clarify: both 1 and 2 did not tell me they were cheating on someone with me... I only found out after the shit hit the fan.

I feel depressed... I just want to love someone and I want that someone to love me... that's it, I don't even want sex, I just want hugs, mutual trust and someone that I could tell anything on my mind without them judging me...

I hate it when people don't understand that programmers are prone to depression just like anyone else in other professions.

And my blood literally boils when someone says "Stop overthinking". Like bro, overthinking is literally how I make a living.

If I stop thinking about how my code can fail, I no longer can make a living out of this. I'll be no better than a handicapped PTSD possessed war veteran.

Also, IMO, you're born with an overthinking mind. It's not learned or acquired from an influence. I wish I could stop overthinking, but I have to accept it's beyond my control and try to tame it best I can.

It just sucks. But it is what it is. I know my head is spitting words out at full capacity right now, which just leads to depressed thoughts, and it will calm itself right down after some time.

Well, I made a choice in life.

I'm going to stay and work in America after I graduate. In spite of all the shit talking I've done about its work ethics, benefits, politics, and culture.

This place is still home.

After trying out a trip to Europe for a few weeks I can't handle the idea of being 4,500 miles away from family and what few friends I have. I figured out what was true the whole time: I wanted to run away from my past. Breakups, a failed marriage proposal, a dead end job that I put up with only because I need to graduate. I've been angry and depressed over these things, but running away won't fix it.

I need to face reality and own up to it. I'll get a job as a developer in the states through hell or high-water.

My Girlfriend broke with me today.

We was in this relationship from two years now. we was doing very good, our relationship was not toxic, no fights, no bad words, zero problems.

One month ago she goes to travel with her evangelical aunt to the beach. Her aunt have lot of money she gets from scamming all that believers. I was happy for my ex-gf because here in out city she was having lot of problems of health, mainly because she was not very mind stable and that degraded her health.

When she goes, her physical and mental health improve a lot. i was happy she is stable now. Her aunt have some Church around the city they go, aunt started to bring her very often to the church. She started to strongly reinforce they God beliefs.

Of course im atheist, she know that from very long time ago. But of course when she started to be more devoted, feels dont fit with me. I refuse to change my mindset about that topic.

Today she says we must broke because im not a believer. This was the most painful experience in my life. I fall in cry for three hours. I truly love her. I recently wakeup and decide to write this rant. I dont have too much friends to talk apart from her. So i wish to share this here.

Im unemployed, she was my only support all this job hunting times. Now she was gone and im alone, this hurts a lot.

Im trying to dont fall deep af, to non return path.

Fuck religion. and her fanatic aunt.

Had a rough time. Dropped out of college twice. Got sent by a shrink to be tested for ADHD. Investigation dropped after phone interviewing my scientology parents. Depressed and admitted to the ward twice. Homeless for a month.

But come Monday I'll start my employment as a COBOL developer. My first qualified job! Code and all resources for learning online has really saved me.

One of the students in my department was smart and driven, but also really awkward. I had known him perhaps better than most other students, and had gleaned that he was depressed and had low self esteem.

On a few occasions he tied a noose out of an ethernet cable hanging from the ceiling and played "Pumped Up Kicks" when asked to choose a song at a party. Really strange stuff. If we had been betting on who would turn out a school shooter, I would've put my money on him.

Anyway, he graduated last year and this year I found out federal agents raided his home because he was building pipe bombs and intended to kill a bunch of people and himself. He's now doing at least 10 years in prison.

I'm freaking the fuck out.
After months of learning from bootcamp and on my own, after a month of no resumes replied to, after almost giving up I finally got a job opportunity in front-end web development.
The thing is, I have to pass their online test to verify my JavaScript-fu.
3 hours.
4 tasks.
And I feel like garbage who can't understand even the most basic algorithms.
By the power of Grayskull, I don't think I have the power...
Wish me luck.

My life in a nutshell.

I've been stuck in this timeless loop for 10 years, anyone that relates?

1. Set alarm before going to bed.
2. Alarm rings, I turn it off.
3. Wakes up late.
4. Work from 08 AM to 4 PM.
5. Take the train back home
6. Plan what to do for the rest of the day.
7. Come home, do everything except what was initially planned.
8. Watching time goes by while doing non-productive things.
9. I feel alone, watch porn to fill this void.
10. I get depressed and unhappy afterward
11. Set the alarm for the next day.
12. Repeat.

NEVER ACCEPT to be the ONLY DEV in the company who knows the whole product!

I am in the position of being the only one who knows all modules, there are even modules I developed which no one else will be able to maintain as soon as I leave the company, which I am planning right now and this also makes me getting depressed about.

I started reading the book "The clean coder" by Robert Martin and now I feel depressed.
So many of the things that he qualifies as unprofessional have I done :'(

Depressed.
I have never been so depressed in my life. Today I felt so sick, tired and numb.

Fuck depression.

Fixed this guy's code and he spent the whole day thanking and explaining to me how sad and depressed the bug had left him. I felt really sorry for the poor dude. Lol.

A few months ago, I decided to let go some old clients with bad behavior and/or bad projects, since I noticed this was affecting my mental health (lowering my self esteem, make me feel depressed, anxious, etc).

I was exhausted of doing miracles in projects without git, build files, staging enviroments (yes... you can imagine), and receive all sort of curses when sudenly something stopped to work.

I set some requirements to work with any new project/client: 1) project needs to be under version control, 2) it must have staging enviroment, 3) I must work with build files.

As I still have contracts running, I'm communicating this to clients as soon as I finish my obligations.

Today, one of these clients told me they are leaving to work with another developer.

Reason: They said my new requirements are unreasonable and they prefer doing the old way.

Thought of buying an HTC Vive then I realized I would need to add a few things to my shopping list:
- 16 GB Ram cards
- Windows 10
- 2 TB Hard drive
- NVIDIA Graphics Card
- HDMI Display Port/Controller
- 2 monitors

My parents ended up getting me a Google Cardboard

#LongRant

I AM SO FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW OF ALL YOU DICKHEADS WHO DON'T KNOW SHIT 'BOUT PROGRAMING AND STILL QUALIFY FOR THE NEXT ROUND!

Background: I am a final year student of Computer Science. This time of the year, companies come to the campus to recruit potential employees for their vacant positions. But during the COVID-19 times, the number of such companies and jobs have gone a little down. Two companies came to our university for recruitment — DXC Technology and Hanu Software. I cleared the aptitude/code test for DXC and appeared for the interview, which went fairly well. Waiting on the results. The rant is about the other company.

The Story: I am learning and working on Cloud (AWS specifically) for the past 1 year. I have a cloud Certification in Oracle and working my way to get Azure Certified. Hanu Software, which is a core cloud company (works on Azure) came to our campus for the recruitment (Cloud Engineer). Their test had these sections —
1. Personality (54 Questions; 15 minutes)

2. Verbal (20 Questions; 20 minutes)

3. Reasoning (15 Questions; 15 minutes)

4. Technical (25 Questions; 25 minutes)

5. Quantitative (15 Questions; 15 minutes)

As soon as I finished my Interview with DXC, I had my Hanu test within 30 minutes. I have a Mac so the test by default started on Safari. After completing 4 sections, I receive a mail in Junk from Hanu which stated that only Chrome or Firefox can be used to give the test. AHH! And on Safari.. the platform on which the test was being conducted didn't ask me for any camera permission (the test is monitored, can't even change windows/switch tabs). I then changed the browser to Mozilla Firefox and somehow finish the test. After finishing, I call up my classmates to find out how their test go. Know what? FUCKING TWATS USED GOOGLE LENS TO FIND OUT THE ANSWERS!

Last night, the list of qualifying students arrived and obviously I didn't make it to the list, but those dumbfucks did who don't even know what Cloud technology is or how it works. Neither they could do any average level program, nor have the communication skills. HOW?! HOW THEM AND NOT ME? Life is very unfair sometimes. I couldn't sleep at night.

PS: If you made this far, thank you for reading this rant (and sorry for it being so long). Makes it better to be able to share with someone. If you could, then please guide me (online resources/recommendations) to be better at competitive programming, or help me enhance my resume/linkedin or if you could refer me for an entry level position at your organisation, I would eternally be grateful. Thank you once again. And sorry for the long rant.

True story

That brief moment in life when you realize no one actually cares about half the stuff you say.
Man does it suck to be depressed.

So, Twitter fired the entire Indian team (or almost, Im not so sure) and one person posted on LinkedIn that went like, "If you've been laid off, just learn something new and Upskill yourself."

Like yeah, no shit Sherlock.

I imagine this is the same kind of people who tell depressed people, "Oh, you're depressed? Just Cheer Up!"

DevRant is the best. I just gave Imgur another try. It still makes me depressed and loose faith in humanity. All those stupid people. DevRant is much better. Here we have smart people that know how to approach problems and understand jokes.

I worked at a computer store for almost 4 years, don’t really have any seniors since the first year and if I don’t understand something google are my only hope

So during 4th year it got worse, I got college final project also tons of work. That last year really burn me out like crap. No one’s complaining if I can’t troubleshoot something (even the boss or client) but I feel depressed if I failed to help them

I quite 3 months ago and currently on another city with a software company, first 2 months was great, tons of senior and I can finally rely on someone instead of pulling my hair by myself

P.S. The store working atmosphere was nice, but I just don’t wanna be last man when shit happens. Especially if it’s my 1st job

If anyone feels down, depressed or lonely. Please let me know we can have a google meet call and talk about whatever. You are important and you shouldn't feel alone this season or any other day.

Have a taco

Mom and dad never really cared me being a developer claiming they did not understand what I do and used to talk down on me becoming a loser for spending too much time making video games when I was a kid.

Got depressed for a long time and stopped making games.

Brother comes drunk at 15 years old, got yelled but bc he was out partying and socializing he never got called a loser by them. Now they laugh at that experience.

But never apologized until I got a breakdown. Fb becomes big and now they want me to invent the next Facebook and telling me to be happy.

I love coding, solving challenges or making something. But the current state of most of the jobs in the industry is sad, specially in this part of the world. I am stressed out and depressed when stuck in a never ending daily grind.

There are days when I seriously consider the idea of leaving the industry and start my own restaurant or cafe. It feels like coding for fun and doing something else for a living could be better.

Am I overthinking this? Are there any other people who are feeling the same?

Programming made me fucking fat as fuck.

I went to Holmes Place after a 2 month no gym period to get counseling.

I have a whoppin 25% body fat and it makes me fucking depressed.

Fuck sitting in front of computers and programming for hours. Fuck snacks and fuck stayibg up late. That shit is bad for you.

I'm a depressed programmer.

Not really a rant but my biggest fuckup that entirely ruined my IT career and future life

> be me 21yo CS student looking for an internship
> looking for help with my friend and sent him my CV to apply to a big corp
> then I lied that I have sent CV to official email {here the fuck up begins}
> after that I got an instant phone call from a friend of him claiming that the CV was sent properly and I am going to visit a company
> I had a review but it was recorded my CV hasn't got precisely specified technologies so interviewer thought I can manage to work as a dev not an intern
> with my shitty communication skills I managed to "work" there 8days, fucked up someone's computer by deleting his Windows and all data he had and installing Ubuntu instead
> then shit got out of control for an intern I talked a lot of bullshit in this Corp they realized I was there an "alien" and I didn't even know what to do so I wanted to sudo rm - rf myself
> unfortunately my parents woke up that morning I decided to sudo rm - rf and and I am now in mental asylum with fucked up people and the Corp knows where am I and I am going to pay for my stupidity and being naive (I didn't even seen the CEO, I didn't have enough information that I really worked there)
> To sum up, being bipolar, naive and irresponsible has brought me to this point in life. Thank you for reading. I don't see a solution, my parents don't believe me and I feel isolated with this fuckup so I decided to share it as a remark for young people starting in IT. For me it already ended too fast.

Honestly, I have a love/hate relationship with coding. On one hand, I can feel on top of the world when something works the way I want it to. On the other hand, coding can make me feel more incompetent and depressed about my life than anything else. I would never want to do anything else with my life, but it's really tough when the thing you love is also the source of a lot of self-hate.

I am quitting my job in the next couple of weeks. I don't even have a job lined up. I can't deal with doing Design work as a developer when you have a whole ass design team. Like what the fuck. Then I nearly do development. Oh and your gonna bitch at me when I mess up in design, then threaten to fire me? Well you can shove that shit all up your entire ass. Fuck this Job. I am doing my own thing. I don't care if I become homeless cause Fuck I'll be more happier I did that then be at this concentration camp. I am gonna live my life and own. Cause fuck everything corporate Jobs is fucking life sucking. Please Fire me. I GIVE NO FUCKS ANYMORE. Sick of being depressed and stressed. I want to be a real developer!!!! argghhhhhhhhhhhh

On hold to the jobcentre, coming up to 1.5 hours now...

FUCK YOU WITH A CACTUS WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE YOU USELESS CUMSTAIN OF A GOVERNMENT. I HAVE NO FOOD, NO HOME, AND 20% BATTERY.

SORT YOUR SHIT BEFORE I FIND EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CALL CENTRE AND FIREBOMB THEM.

fucking hell. I fucking hate this shit.

How to become a depressed developer:
1. Work with ionic v1
2. Suicide (profit)

I just watched The Social Network and I'm so depressed that I'm through quarter of my life and haven't done anything significant yet.....😭😭

I hate working from home. I'm lonely, bored, feel ignored by my leadership, and have so many additional complications with connectivity that don't exist when working on site. I have the chance to almost double my salary in this buyout, but I also really really hope my other job applications give me options

Everyday I fell my soul being sucked by this job.

We have too much liberty and it's all scattered, every fucking project uses a different framework.

Everything is a mess, no one seems to care and I'm feeling like shit for being the only one that seems to care.

Every time I start job hunting I fell depressed because of this nonsense bullshit they call job requirements.

Just wanna run away from this mess and never look back.

You know what I do when I get upset or depressed?

I put myself in bed. I guess some things from childhood don't change.

Having a tantrum? Time to go to bed.

It’s so draining to talk to people when you’re depressed.

Oh no. Depressed mood swing is kicking in again.

I get depressed when I see templates that look better than anything I could ever come up with 😯

!dev (Please, don't take this very seriously, I'm kind of burnt out)

I'm not having a good time.

I can't even write a post to properly explain how I feel.

I feel disappointed by life and by myself in many levels. Life is disappointing. I am disappointing too.

I'm having issues to focus, can't even write a couple of lines of code.

Time to listen to some emo lofi and write about how much I hate myself.

I wished I didn't feel these feelings.
I wished I didn't regret so many things I did or didn't do.
I wished I could fucking understand everything I read, but I don't, everything I read is gibberish, every paragraph makes me feel like I'm drifting in a storm.

I wished I was happy with my career, with my job. I wished I had a true friend.
I wished I could finish one goddamn fucking project for once.

I wished there was something that made me unique, but I don't think there's any.
I just feel like an ant, and that I don't really matter.

I don't feel like I'm someone at all, I feel like I'm experiencing a dream, and a rather boring one.

Programming used to be challenging and fun for me, but it has become this dull and stressful ordeal.

The internet has shown me that I don't matter really. I remember being a little kid and believing that the internet would not discriminate you, that right from the comfort of your house you could connect to people and be cared for, and collaborate in something.

But every year that passes I see that I was wrong. I have tried to put in time into people, I have asked people how they're doing, I have cared for their projects. But there's no reciprocation.

The internet itself has become a thing where the big fish only matters. The top 1k users will get 99% of the attention.

Fuck nurture, rule competition.

What's the point of creating a github project that you think it's cool? No one will give two shits about it, it won't make a goddamn difference whether you push it or not.

You know what fucking matters? If you're an apple or google developer and have thousands of followers.

Bla, bla, bla, I'm depressed...

some people are fucking idiots.

i remember one time - i made a website which ended up having a slightly major security flaw.

the big isnt the point though. this guy told me to just "write secure code."

i consequently told him, "how about you go fuck yourself?"

well, he was a painter, so i then told him "maybe you should fucking draw better," and promptly left.

well, here i present what that would be like if other people were told shit like that.

depressed person - "just be happy"

teacher - "just make your students smarter"

homosexual - "just like the opposite sex"

presidential candidate - "just win the election"

homeless person - "just get a house"

idiot - "just stop being my client" (sorry had to vent)

well you get the idea.

devs should be treated as functioning members of society.

I am so depressed that my first program was not "Hello world!", but instead it was "END ME!"...

Management: foobar resigned. We need to have a dev who can work the android app project.

Me: You have to find a dev who can work with that stack.

Management: You!

Me: Me?

Management: Yes, You.

Me: Me? Why me? I'm a web dev.

Management: Starting tomorrow you will work for 2 projects.

Me: but..

Management: accept it or..

Me: Okay. -_-

Management:

Me:

I have a love and hate relationship with programming. You'll see me as the happiest and most motivated person ever. The next minute, you'll see me as an extremely depressed suicidal person. Then when a code works, I jump like hell.

I made 50 USD off of 4 lines of code today.

I am depressed and happy at the same time.

I feel lonely on my way back to home. I am a bit depressed while listening to the song "Alone" by Alan Walker. Because I code alone all day and I am single. There is a shop in my neighbourhood. It has its light turned on this night, perhaps just to increase its exposure. But, there is something so shiny that caught my attention. It is a smiling duck. I don't know what the duck is doing right there. I havent seen it before. But the shop is closed now.
At this moment, I realize it could be my friend when I don't have a friend.

If my laptop made the same many sounds that computers in series and movies does, I would go insane and became as creepy, cynical and depressed as the people you see in those films and series using their computers are

PSA.

I have established "Depressed Lonely Maggot" Club. Our symbol will be an ugly crying maggot.

You are invited :3

Sometimes I feel like I'm not really a developer. I don't know how to explain this.
I know some stuff but I feel like I am always behind no matter what...

I waited 8 years for cyberpunk 2077. I also bought the most expensive pc of my life including 34inch ultra wide monitor.

But at the last moment I got fucked by AMD. The 5900x that I ordered was dead on arrival and went back for replacement. But they don't have any stock to replacement. So I am fucking waiting for cpu. They are not providing any information on the stock.

I am getting depressed day by day.

!dev

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling depressed and apathetic toward everything for days, like the walls are closing in, you’re never going to achieve your goals, and there’s no point to living... only to realize it’s just that it’s “that time of the month”.

I miss the days when my PMS was literally just “Random commercials make me cry”.

To clarify, I would probably catch on that these emotions are just a hormonal reaction if “that time of the month” happened every month. Nexplanon is a weird birth control.

I’m sure this thread was overshare, but I just wanted to express my frustration.

Here’s Bob being stealth

Just got rejected for an internship position. They saying you are slightly lesser for what our intern possess. Upon insisting they told that both my "skill set" and "logic" is not up to the mark. I am depressed

Current lappy got about 4GB RAM and not enough cores. I can't even run krita without it slowing down more the more I work on a file.
It would be frustrating if only I wasn't so depressed.
So yeah, due to being broke and lack of nerves, I'm gonna completely stop working on the comic for now.

I am feeling lonely and depressed. Don't feel like to code. I am introvert, don't have friends. Idk what to do. 😫

Depression and anxiety is a major challenge in my work life.
I could remember vividly when I was at my last job, any time I felt depressed I'll call for sick leave. It was hard for me to pinpoint the cause of my depression because even while on most sick leave I still felt depressed.
I blamed it on my job, blamed it on my family, on my social circle, on my friends, on my lifestyle, on almost everything. At some point it all felt like it was me versus the world, a fight I could never win.
Thoughts came in... Maybe it's because John is now married with two kids, or because Stella is now the new manager, or that David just bought a new Ross Royce and I'm still riding an ice-cream truck, or its because Steve is always on vacation and PM always complaining about uncompleted task with no acknowledgement for the 2 months task finished in a week, or because Boss is always calling for stupid meetings. Different thoughts in my head... Jealousy, Envy, Disappointment, Tiredness, Confusion, all combined at once.

But I did found a cure for my anxiety and depressed nature...
During lunch hours I visit a beach close to where I work, it's called "Tarkwa bay". I'll sit at the rock formations and glare at the shadows of the rising sun, listen to the sound of rumbling waters and passive the complete overview of nature. The feeling I get there is really calming, It occupies my head with neutral thoughts and a love for nature. 🤗
I truly experienced an improvement overall and it's been a while I felt depressed since I started such a routine.
Nature is really a gift.

Tell her that she'll spend most of her life communicating with rubber ducks than with humans!

I was depressed doing a course I hated.

3 years in and I switched to Computer Science.

Best decision ever!

Just failed at 4/6 subjects at my uni. And now I have to study subjects I have completely no interest in just to pass. I feel depressed

So, I'm trying to process the feelings from not getting accepted for the PhD project I applied for a while back. And it's just unfair. They've recruited people with no publication and less GPA than me. I also doubt any of them would be field-wise more relevant than me tbh. (Wouldn't be surprised if they hired MBA grads) I have all the relevant qualifications that even people working on that project do not have. I could easily get this project going beyond what they are doing with it rn. It's unfair. But it's life. And life goes on.

Am I angry? Yes. Am I disappointed, also yes. They didn't give me any alternative offers either. So I am going to steal the project and finish it so they have to throw all the money they've invested in the toilet.

... If only I wasn't depressed and could bring myself to apply elsewhere again. 🙄

My girlfriend is really depressed and wanna kill herself
I’m so don’t know what to do

Most awkward work event story?

I haven't had many of those tbh. because I've been WFH last 3 years.

One that I remember was my birthday celebration at a company I worked at in 2019. The boss was hostile towards everybody and paid dog shit salaries. So the work environment wasn't the most uplifting and positive.

So anyway, The boss got a cake and rounded everybody up around me chanting Happy Birthday song to me.

Already awkward, but what made it more awkward was the fact that nobody else was clapping/singing other than the boss.

I looked at everybody and saw the depressed smiles on their faces. I'm glad it only lasted 5 mins.

Sooooooo since a few days im feeling more and more depressed.

There are some things that might cause it :
- school
-My last frienhship broke (not like i care about sociality. lol)
-my parents being so strict.

What can i do except for going through this, eyes shut?
I alceady had a depression i dont wanna get back there :/

I was just browsing some programming subreddits and reading a few tech articles and I literally got depressed from the state of this industry. Too late to become a barista?

Working with client at different timezone (+3 hours difference). Client time: 5 P.M.

C: a blocker issue found
Step to reproduce:
Step 1: import the attached file
Step 2: blabla

Please get this fixed today.

Me: *where's the attached file?* Opens up ly*c, type his name and.... status offline.

Okay then, time to post my first rant. And get depressed until cob. 😔

I just spent almost a semester's worth of money on a certification course. I know it'll help me make more in the long-run and get me out of the job that has started to cause me to become actually depressed, but this price-tag is depressing me. Why are certs so damn pricey???

Just updated devRant and out of curiosity scrolled down to look at the recommended apps - wtf
I'm not depressed and I know English already?
Btw update looks nice 😉

If an ai becomes depressed, does it encapsulate itself for better \Closure?

*insert thinking dinosaur*

Something depressed

I'm so fucking depressed. I've get 100/100 and 96/100 in the lastest exams but I can't keep going to the university because I don't have money to travel from my home to the building. I have to throw away my career and knowledge. I don't find a job in this fucking country.
Sorry for boring you with my shit, I had to write it.

Day 1: depressing
Day 2: blissful

OR

Day 1: blissful
Day 2: depressing

I noticed this pattern to repeat EVERY TIME IN MY LIFE.

When something is extremely good one day, I actually try to reduce the happiness because the depression will kick in the next day twice as much.... So even when i get hit by happy days, i am forcefully trying to become depressed in order to avoid being depressed twice as much tomorrow, CAn you Fucking believe me this ? Hhh
Hhhh

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i

i dont have energy to live

any of you like your job? I'm so used to reading rants, sometimes i think everyone is just depressed all the time

I am getting depressed every time I open freelancer.

My home is under renovation and so my desktop is disassembled and in the box for more than a week now . I feel depressed, aimless and meaningless.

Brought my Mac to holidays so I can code... while at it, I realized that I left the charger at home ..Now I'll have to go home with a depressed state of mind

This is a follow up to my previous rant where I complained about Lenovo firmware update failing and bricking a relative’s computer.

We bought a chip programmer, got the bios from some forum and the thing fucking worked. I’m actually surprised it did, I’m not used to doing shit like this. I was pretty fucking scared of burning something.

The programmer also came with a clamp so we could hook it to the chip without desoldering it. Thank god.

I’m terribly depressed so good timing with that I guess.

Is a week enough time to figure out if a company is right?

I'm not sure if I like this new leadership team...

I'm starting to think that I might have been far happier with my previous gig...

My life is basically a loop of:
1) “I’m in a slump and terribly depressed because of my lack of productivity.”
2) “I know! I’ll try using the strategies that proved to make me very productive”.
3) “I’m very productive right now, that’s because I’m so smart and talented, it’s just part of me”
4) Back to step 1

Im an unaccomplished idiot with a big ego. Why do I have an ego if I don’t have any real accomplishments????
Dear god, I will become a fucking egotistical moron the day I actually do something worthwhile.

I’m a goddamn fucking piece of shit.

Going through the typical phase of being depressed because of feeling underdeveloped skill wise and ignorant knowledge wise; despite how much I learn. God, spent 3 days on a recursive dynamic programming problem and couldn't implement it right... then I decided to glance at someones solution on github and turns out he did what I couldn't do in 70+ lines of code in 20. Sigh, just want to right concise and clear code and become a better programmer all together, but that obviously takes time. For the mean time I am feeling quite defeated.

My first hackathon when I was in my university. I never used to work on any side projects apart from assignments and academic projects. I was so shocked when I saw that people were so dedicated in developing a working product in a weekend sacrificing sleep and food. I got so depressed that I wasn't doing anything and people around me were doing so much!!!!! That's when I was motivated to learn more, do more, work more. After this, I never missed a single hackathon while I was studying :) I'm so much better at what I do now because of hackathons.

Been really depressed at work for the last two years. To the point where myself and colleagues would constantly petition our boss to work with us to change our internal process.

After being constantly ignored / seeing no really impact ( he literally renamed a step in our process and said he fixed it forgoing all the recommendations that we suggested and refusing to discuss anything with us );

I decided to resign before I say or do anything to completely burn the bridge.

Two days later one of my colleagues also resigned ( the only other device at the company ) now my boss is frantically looking for our replacements while also trying to maintain that he holds all the cards.. he offered my colleague less than he is on now to freelance for him. And will likely attempt the same with me in my exit interview today.

But I'm working on a web app which I find interesting. Problem is that I'm not as hopeful as the others working on it with me that it will ever make any money. (It seems like a money pit if anything)

I think I may be in for a couple of rough months. But at least I'm not working for a company that made me so depressed that all I would ever think about is how to convince the boss to improve things.

I'm worried but for the first time in 2 years I feel happy.

It feels like no matter what i fucking try at this point, the universe is doing everything in its power to stop me from succeeding.............. I got so fucking depressed that i am literally writing code and crying in the same time.........

Hard drive head crashed and corrupted my entire android app source code which took my 5 months to build. I was depressed for 2 days and then started working for it again and updated the app on the store in 3 months. It was a terrifying yet amazing experience. Definitely don't want to go through that again.
Now I keep backups on the cloud. Lesson learnt.

Hey guys.
Do you find it hard to code when depressed or it's only me?

* Today you have to live within 150 miles of a few cities as we are working on creating "hubs" but it's still remote!

you know what?

fuck you

also, no, an LLM isn't going to solve climate change

jesus christ i am depressed beyond belief. i don't even want to apply, let alone work for any of these companies

next up: "USA only" yeah what the fuck does that mean? US citizen? US timezone? you want to hire a super technical engineer right? SO WHY NOT BE SUPER TECHNICAL IN YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION

just incredible, companies that offer 100-200K salaries and all they have is a website and a fucking chrome extension... what???

i feel like i've been doing wrong my whole life

just end it all

Any other 30+ year old developer that didn't start the dev career too long ago and gets completely depressed when surfing on Quora? Reading 100 about "developer career being over after 30" when mine started at 29 isn't too good a motivation

How do you guys deal with being depressed?
I try to cry myself to sleep.

The one that doesn't show up.

DEPRESSION TRIGGER WARNING

Every once in a while, I feel depressed.

From who am i, where am i questions to what will i do in the future to sustain myself...

But what hits me so hard every single time is what will happen if i die...

So i disappear

From here.

As if i never wake up again from my sleep

It is like

Gone

I don't know how to explain but..

It terrifies me

Think about it

You... Poof!

Gone

From this world

And if you have no kids,well,

Gone. Completely

.......

G.O.N.E.

Job interview in an hour while depressed. And I‘m not ready for the thought of “lying” on how great I am if i don’t feel like it. It feels so wrong.

A couple of my friends failed to answer the correct output for this.
I have been working on Python since a month, they have, for months and years.
I am so depressed right now.

Been trying to learn code for almost two years now, started with C++, took a break because I couldn't figure out what to do with the knowledge, started Python 'cause I thought I'd be inspired by scripting and automating stuff, same thing happened, switched to java, same problem, aaaaaand I'm back to C++ and still can't figure out what the fuck I can do, I don't code anything and I'm tired of following tutorial in the hope of getting something interesting done
Long rant I know but fuck I'm so depressed about that...

One of my TL said to me during code review that place a break statement after return statement in switch case.

Being with a bar leader can certainly degrade your code quality.

The whole summer of working 6 days a week at a dead end job, crazy hours, to tired to code or anything in the evenings, and feeling really depressed about everything.. Finally Monday, new semester in school is about to start. So eager to get back, to learn and have so many cool (hopefully) courses this semester. And it's only Saturday..

Everyone is wishing others a happy new year and I'm here feeling angry and depressed!

I wonder why code doesn't work
Look blankly at code for 1 hour
Notice I put underscore instead of dot.
Be mad at myself for making a function name yaml_load that I confused as yaml.load.
Get a cup of tea, kinda depressed but glad the issue is resolved.
Get glasses.

Not doing it for the money alone unless you want to be depressed and wealthy.

Find the most inspiring work that pay your bills: when you're the best at what you love you will find a way to get paid for that (or something closely related).

On the micro level, I try to talk to / learn from coworkers a lot and take regular breaks.

Been sitting here, stuck for hours. Complex projects bring complex problems. I honestly cannot move past this issue. A major lump in the development of this project. I doubt myself as a developer. I feel depressed. This task seems insurmountable.

I can't come up with a name for my game.

Wait this is crazy!
Well I'm not an anxious or depressed type.
But no melatonin pill = no sleep
Worst part is no sleep during the day cause of sun light.

Even taking pills won't guarantee my sleep .
Yes I told my doc and he said "just relax , limit your caffeine "

Have you experienced this?

Starting a new project:

1.Think of a new/exciting idea

2.Start imagining and planning in my head

3.Start working on my idea

4.Give up mid-way

5. Get depressed

6. Get back at it way behind schedule and still not complete it

7. Go back to step 1 except that's basically how I start something new and not just a project :)

I need someone to explain me this:

- whenever I work hard as fuck and stay on my purpose and fuckin grinding out all of my work being focused as fuck on it; EVERYONE SUDDENLY WANTS TO FUCKING TEXT ME. I AM BUSY. MY DAD WANTS TO TALK. MY MOM HAS QUESTIONS. MY DOG WANTS TO SHIT. MY FRIENDS WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME AND FIND ME COOL. RANDOM GIRLS TEXT ME. RANDOM GIRLS WANT TO FUCK ME. MY PHONE EXPLODES FROM TEXTS AND NOTIFICATIONS. NUCLEAR DISTRACTIONS

- whenever i dont work anything, just lay on the couch to have some rest or when i feel depressed and lonely; NO ONE WANTS TO TEXT ME. PEOPLE TAKE HOURS OF FUCKING TIME TO RESPOND. THOSE WHO USED TO GIVE A FUCK TO SPAMBOMB ME WITH TEXTS NO LONGER GIVE A FUCK. I FEEL EVEN WORSE THEN. FUCK YOU AND FUCK EVERYONE WHO DISTURBS ME WITH DISTRACTIONS

I got really depressed today for many many self-inflicted reasons so i'd like to propose we change Rule 2 of Technology to "You will fuck up, and when you do, you will fuck up REALLY REALLY HARD."

All things have ends. Nothing lasts
If I am currently sad, this situation will pass.
If I am currently happy, this situation will pass too.

If there is a bug, boss like shit.. it'll pass, it doesn't deserve to be that sad ans depressed..

If there is no bug, and the work is perfect.. it'll pass.. there will be moments when sadness come..

it's just everything is going, nothing deserves to be sad or that happy.

i've got my first job after getting out of college. not a great package. I'm learning more, will get experience. i have plans for freelancing and seek a better job. I'm an Indian.

what really upsets me is that I just discovered that I've no knowledge in finance. I'm feeling insecure, afraid and depressed. I'm browsing for some youtube channels, books and podcasts to get some some knowledge about finance and real estate.

all I have is a saving account in SBI bank, I just know how to take money out of it with my debit card and transfer money with online banking

how do u guys do ur finance, where do u invest. do u invest in stock market. insurance?? help me out. i'm fucked.

never thought i can be so stupid, I hate myself, never even thought I'll need financial intelligence.

are there more people like me.

i'm just so down and feeling suicidal.

My adSense account got terminated.
Reason: No f***ing idea

Never ever used any unfair means , still. All my hardwork towards my earning lost.

My appeal to reactivate rejected.
I am really depressed.

What should i do?

Coolest project? No project is cool anymore after clients changed their mind for the 9000th time which happens like... always.

how do you guys deal with yourself when unmotivated and depressed ?

As I sit and stare at code, and then stare at the Bills I need to pay as the month starts. I began to think, what if I too was part something new in Tech. Everytime, I see people creating new Tech, getting noticed, I wish I was there on forefront.

Then it gradually dawns on me, "you are just here to make ends meet, survive in the corporate world. Why care about the world. Let it go as it is."

"A shitty life".

Just got yelled at by by a senior dev. I know I am not the best developer but...I am depressed now. I wanna be better and prove myself. I admit I am distracted way to easily but I need help bad. Idk how to earn back the respect of my coWorkers.

Ai depression—— I feel increasingly depressed and hopeless about potentially applying for junior dev jobs - I feel like why? What’s the point when GPT can do the low level junior stuff in place of me? I would really appreciate some words of motivation…. Is it still worth it?

I have had it with this wack-ass code, with its spaghetti-looking call tree, nonsensical variable naming, comments a screen-height long and as clear as mud mixed with diarrhea, conditions incomprehensible enough to make kafka depressed, and condtions nested deeper than a goddamn ant colony.

In fact, it has more levels of indentation than one of those stupid iceberg memes - the top is pretty and barely afloat while the rest of it is a fat mess all the way down that only serves to sink your motherfucking hopes and dreams.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

As usual, I guess I am getting depressed again. Happens at the last week every month.

This is like my personal PMS. And have no idea how to overcome this. FML.

- Sometimes seeing all of you people have jobs as coders makes me depressed 😅.
- I couldn't even write a program (a few weeks ago) to insert an element into an array and shift the proceeding elements up one location 😩😢😓.
- Yes, that's how beginner I am 😳.
- Please, Don't kick me out of the community 😨.

Super depressed rn and nobody to talk to about it. Stupid life problems. Can’t seem to learn new tech so if I lost my job I’d have to switch to landscaping or something. Can’t talk normal with people without someone taking offense at something I never dreamed could be offensive (stupid cancel culture) or trying to shut me down. Friends ending friendships and family cutting me out of their lives without communication as to why. My kids just don’t seem to care about anything I have to try to teach or share with them anymore. Nothing I do seems to matter to anyone or make a difference even when I’m trying to do good things for people. I don’t want to take my life but tbh if COVID got me I wouldn’t even be mad. I’d embrace it as my get out of jail free card.

Why programmers are always loney ...Why we had this much of trouble for getting a girlfriend

This profession seriously makes me depressed.

Psychological counselling for depressed AI. We don't want them to go full Michael Douglas.

Only 25 days left to get my Fanatic gold badge in stackoverflow and my browser decides to open up the new window instead of the old one with all my pinned tabs in it... So I forget to log into stack overflow for a day resulting in me going back to 99 days of everyday visiting the site until I get my Fanatic badge... I feel so fucking depressed FML

Been depressed and bored for the past two days, wish I'm always like this. why?
I learned how to MVVM in WPF and Android.
If only Apple creates something similar to what Microsoft and Google did for data binding.
If it exists please let me know :)

When depression set in, I thought pain relief lied in getting duller. People I called “stupid” — who lived simple lives filled with alcohol and lack of any talent or purpose — weren't suffering. Better even, they denied the existence of depression.

My “wish” was granted when they prescribed cariprazine. In two months, I lost my ability to read, let alone code.

Before that, even depressed, writing a simple email/password auth was a matter of ten minutes in any of the languages I knew how to do web in (JS, Python, Clojure, PHP). But on cariprazine, I remember myself not quite getting what an HTML form was.

Tell you what… you should never wish to become dumber. When I was smart and depressed, the pain was real, but it felt like… let's say a breakup. When I was dumb and depressed, it felt like being raped with a red-hot soldering iron. Or like being skinned alive. Or like when 100% of your skin is a third-degree burn. The pain weren't listening to me, as my mouth was glued shut as if I was Keanu in the first Matrix movie. You can't say, do or think anything, at all, to ease your pain somehow. You can't even realize that just DMing or calling someone is probably a good idea.

Instead of you vs. despair situation from when you were smart, now it's just despair that is actively melting you, so you two become one. Even time loses its meaning. There is nothing out there but suffering.

If you're smart(er than I was at my lowest), DO cherish it. Losing that will spell disaster. So stay away from substances that can facilitate that loss.

Too depressed to code. Fuck this life.

I hate my current work with this piece of bad written legacy $hit. As 2 year old 'junior' without any code review and mentor I feel depressed. I should improve my skills at home and run away from it.

F#$ck you, corpo.

I'm done fighting with my professor over my thesis project. They want me to go slower in building my project and we only have 7 weeks to deployment. Well screw you how in the hell do you expect me to prototype, build, bug fix and deploy all this and go SLOWER. YOU AREN'T AIMING TO BE A CAREER DEVELOPER ARE YOU?

I feel really sick this morning. Between the anxiety of graduating soon and my debt...

I just want live for myself. Not the sake of a school or some corporate entity. When this is over I want to work overseas in Europe. Do something for myself for once.

I was going to write a rant and thought: leave it for tomorrow, you're gonna be more depressed tomorrow.

I wonder if jetbrains will change my licence expiration date to a day earlier.

I get kinda depressed every time I open one of their products.

*Sigh*

I just hate this life so damn much, 14 and depressed with possible anxiety and suicidal attempts is not easy. My parents are the worst. MY brother sucks. I wanna die.

Any body goes through a phase where they feel unmotivated to work?

Normally, I’m the kind of person that work a lot and even code on side projects during the weekend. For the past 2 weeks+, I feel unmotivated and just want to eat, shower, Netflix and sleep.

I’m certain I’m not depressed but I don’t know if I am burnt-out though.

Anybody had similar experience?

In a mediocre job since last 4 years with just a developer designation, but we simply use Java based tools and products to do most of our job. Need to study for a change in job.

Literally every morning:
"Let me see what to focus on: JavaScript/Java/C++/Python/Data science/ML/AI/NodeJS/...." The list goes on.

Every Evening:
"I need to focus on Data Structures and Algorithms. So let me stick to Java for now."

Next Day:
Back to the same routine.

2 months have passed and I have not seriously studied or concentrated on anything :(

Depressed.

...i earned $1000 and i feel luxurious as if i can buy the whole world... And in fact with this much money (worth over 100,000 in my currency) i can buy a Lot of stuff....i cant believe i sank so low in life where 1000$ for me is a luxurious amount of money..... I earned it and im still depressed because i just realized i had been fighting over these interviews and getting rejected for just 500-600$ a month minimum wage... And now when i earned twice as much i realized even twice of that isn't anything special... I need a 5-6 figure salary to feel happy and not depressed. Im not asking for millions. I need a liveable life and not a survival slave life...

The saddest part is: i earned more than x2 of minimum wage by being unemployed and developing a side business than i have earned working a 9-5 job

I'm feeling empty. All my friends and roomates went home. But I stayed in hostel. I haven't touched my laptop from last 3 days. I'm just lying on bed staring at ceiling. I'm not even in a relationship, so I call my mother everyday to get the feeling of being loved.
This quarantine is strange. First few days I spent my time playing video games, watching Netflix, laughing at memes. But Now I'm feeling empty. Very strange thoughts are now occupying my mind. I'm sleeping 10+ hrs, and staring at ceiling or outside window most of the time. My room is a mess. Forget washing hands, I don't even feel like standing up to switch on lights.
I'm not saying I feel sad or depressed, I just feel very strange.

If you're depressed about the quality of your application remember - LinkedIn is there to brighten your day (ifyouknowhatimean)

I don't have any friends. :(

Struggling

Started a new job not super long ago with the intention of "learning new tech" and so I get my wish, I'm thrown into a project as the LEAD ENGINEER

And my junior dev proceeds to run circles around me and I know literally nothing about what is going on in this project aside from the architectural / feature planning discussions I've had with marketing/junior

I've been trying to learn vuejs for what seems like weeks and weeks and I'm just not "getting it" I come from a strong oop php background and this paradigm is using tons of tech I know basically nothing about. Every time I talk to junior I get super depressed cause he's speeding along and I'm still completely clueless.. what the FUCK do I do

Although im starting a job in 2 weeks, i feel depressed already. I know what awaits me and I'll know even more what is yet to come. It's going to be hell. If it was a huge amount of money like 5-6k i would be less depressed. It would solve lots of problems. But its nowhere close to that

Tomorrow morning i have to go and sign the nda and other contracts. I really dont want to. This is not what i had planned. I planned to finish my project by the end of this year asap. Now i have to speedrun and finish the whole project ASAP before i officially start this job

Although im starting a job, i feel like a failure even more than not having a job. How is this possible and why is that? Why do i feel so bad to start working a job?

Knowing already that ill sign a 3 month contract, and knowing that I'll earn exactly $3900 in the next 3 months, is fucking pathetic in this economy

Is it because of Monday, or am I just depressed? I can't figure it out.

Feeling so depressed. Colleagues are leaving one by one

!Rant:
Why did you guys decide to become a developer?

I became a developer after finding out that I loved wrecking my brains on complicated puzzles to keep me from getting depressed. After a while I figured out that I'm the person that needs to be challenged to actually be able to enjoy something and start to overthink the little things.

Here are the things I wreck my brains over on a weekly basis.
- programming
- research on complicated subjects
- magic the gathering

started on the new job today, and to be honest I'm a little depressed about the technology we make.
i have this class in college about the history of technology and my professor called technology "the science of productive work". is that all there is? make tools so people can work more? is that all there is to life? it's fucked up if you think about it at all

Sometimes I get so excited about doing something that I'm genuinely happy. But when the initial high fades and I'm ten layers of complex code problems deep I always remember how useless I really am

Oh but this time it's gonna be different.
yeah right

I'm a depressed potato.

I have been trying to wrap my head around authentication in hapi for the last 6 hours...
Fuck this shit... when did simple,
I HAS A USERNAME
I HAS A PASSWORD
CAN HAS SESSION?
become:
- you magically get a token from somewhere
- you magically verify that token
- you respond with { credentials } //magic
- by some fucking black magic the server probably creates a session without you knowing about it...
- you freak out and write your own authentication scheme only to find out that you cannot read payload of POST requests in the authenticate method
- you get angrier and depressed and write a rant

(to be clear: there is @hapi/basic but I don't think sending a GET request with the URL looking like username:password@domain.tld is very safe...)

Go out from home.
Get up early.
Don’t get depressed.
Don’t become alcoholic or junkie.
Retire from paid / commission programming as soon as possible.

Cash your skills till you get depressed by overwork...

Helped dad around the house yesterday. It made me feel a tad less depressed, until this morning when I looked at job ads again. 😒

Second week sick I see how my life slowed down and how meaningless everything around is, everyone is rushing about some bullshit, name it new amazing job opportunity, black Friday great deal, super duper product idea or some most important bug on production that we need to fix asap.

All that can’t wait a week when I’m healthy?
Seriously, people lost their minds in today’s world to some bullshit.

I’m to old and to depressed to care about such idiotic things. Living my life as I want and on my own peace, don’t care everyone is running, I’m slowly walking and I like it.

It’s better to walk straight than run around like an idiot.

Depression Application

But I ended-up being depressed, while studying the brain and emotions.

For the first time, after 4 years, i have installed tinder. I feel depressed for having to do vengeance. And i also feel depressed for not having to do it. I feel sad for being forced to find another girl. This is not how i imagined it to be

Right now its 1-0 for my blonde ex gf. I have to have a random hookup at least a 1 night stand to make this 1-1. This is what i did before but now after experiencing love for the first time, true love in the first 2 years with her, for the first time that somebody genuinely loved me other than my parents, is very hard for me to go back to random hookups

Hookups are meaningless to me now. But i am forced. I have been given a check mate

⚠️Why do i have to be forced to fuck another girl in order to prove my girlfriend that other girls still want me, so that my girlfriend will love and want me again as well?....⚠️

Please reread this paragraph above 3 more times. Let it sink in. That is saddening to me. The more she sees how no other girl wants me, the less interest she has in me....

Im literally sitting. Listening to sad depressing "music" which is more of nature and dark rain sounds. I also started working out aggressively. I couldnt eat for 5 days due to finding chats on my blonde ex gfs phone with the other guy...

Now 8 days later... I have lost 6 kg and counting. I am barely eating. I am using the screenshots of their chats as an overdosed injection of adrenaline every time pre workout and during workout

Today she didnt text me at all. I always start the conversation first. I have to move on and i am still in disbelief that i have to do it.

My birthday is next week and the last thing i need is to spend being depressed....

I feel lost

But i have a feeling all i need to do is get rich. All i need is to get my money up and that way find more easily a new better behaved normal gf.

God help me

Forgive me God for everything

Thank you God for everything

Guide me God on the right path, for i am lost

Please.

.

My 2tb portable external hard disk is messed up :( . The disk isn't spinning. It is under warranty but I am so depressed.

My friend lost his job. Company closed brach he worked for. He was very depressed because it took him 2 days to find another job in different company while all his collogues had job offers the same day they find out about branch being closed.

!Rant

I fucking hate my laziness, I really want to make something but I can't have a proper idea, I want to build a portfolio but I'm just stuck with basic knowledge of java that every keeps praising me because of it since their level is shit, like so fucking shit, I hate my classmates this uni the spirit they have, its just depressing on so many levels ! Fucking shit! Why can't I find any motivated people that want to improve generally and just get a good mark to pass the freaking tests!

Working on a very simple report in C# with DexExtreme.
Got rejected by boss for more than 5 times.
😢
"We don't use comma, the line looks like doubled, the title isn't right, one field is missing..."
Feel so depressed 🤦‍♂️
I don't even write C# normally

Waking up in the morning, sick as fuck.

Happy because I don't have to go to my IT job for the next few days.

Depressed because I'm feeling too weak to develop or learn anything at home.

Can devRant become a place where I rant about other non-tech related things? I used to use tumblr for this but here, there's a better audience, I guess! or here, there's an audience at least...

Anyway, I'm very angry and depressed right now

I lose motivation to do anything today.

I don't want to watch movie , I don't want to eat , am I facing a different form of burnout or am I depressed?

I hope I will be feeling better tomorrow.

Today I found github student developer pack thing. It was the golden chance to sharpen my git skills at least I thought so.. 2 hours tried to figure out how does "merge" works in gitkraken and now I'm depressed..

Hi there fellow Devranters,
I am new here but my problem is pretty old. You see i stumbled into coding totally by accident. That was about 5 years ago. I have been learning ever since.
But the problem is that each day I just feel less and less of a programmer, more of a failure. I started with python, from sololearn to various ebooks.Then C++ and finally Ruby. But I still feeal weak.Despite the projects that I have worked on I still don't feel good enough. Most especially in Ruby.
I have a friend who is also into coding and coincidentally started about the same time as I did.The difference is that he learnt at university and I am self-taught.We used to talk a lot but we don't anymore,I feel too ashamed, an impostor even. I am scared he'll ask me something and I won't know anything about it.And I once taigjt him OOP. Right now I can't even code a hello world program without reading a whole ebook on python just to be confident.
We had dreams with my friend on a dozen or so projects that would have put us on the software dev map, but I keep avoiding him so much we have barely started any. I am afraid he'll find me too amateurish to work with.
I learn everyday to expand my knowledge,I have subscribed to a gazillion software related stuff on all social media platforms I happen to be in.But deep down I feel insufficient. I have been going through rants since the few hours I joined and it doesn't sound gibberish to me.Neither does other people's code when I go through it.But I am ashamed of mine I end up deleted after it runs successfully.
I just don't feel like a software developer, I don't even know what it takes to be one even. I learned 10 languages focused on 3, laughed at memes only devs get, used linux and loved it too but still I feel like an impostor. I used to be happy about all the things I taught myself, I onced dreamed of working at Google and later having my own startup back home.Now my friend and a couple of his friends have a small start-up and I feel ashamed of myself.
I don't feel like what I know is enough and learning only makes me feel worse, so bad I am scared of coding again now.Yet I just can't stop learning, I feel incomplete when I don't do anything dev related,but I don't even feel my speed is fast enough when I type on my keyboard.
😥😥

I feel like I'm utterly wasting away my life. I'd love to learn Rust, but the tutorials and The Book seem very boring. Suggest something to build using Rust.

I don't feel like doing anything.... What's the point ...

Can't tell if I'm bored, tired, or depressed...

Trying to review the architecture of an internal boilerplate... After having explained Atomic design principles, and the "component approach" to my colleague, he still managed to come back to me with:

- plugin/
- module/
- components/ ....

in his architecture... I don't know what to do. I'm depressed. FML. I'm quitting.

Made a game, it was like tetris but you had to connect at least 3 blocks of the same colour.

I worked on it for like a month, about 50h overall, and it was downloaded by 10-11 people all over the world and then removed after like an year or so for no real reason.

I then stopped making games.
I was too depressed by the whole thing

My company doesn't want to provide a good environment and expect max output. Frustrated & Depressed.

I need new friends....

(Maybe I should start using Twitter...)

Rant!

F-ck ”senior” developer that have not created ANY real value for over a year.

I mean, it is pretty impressive. The incompetence. F-ck!

This is the same guy I have been discussing earlier and he create such a toxic environment for me.

Aaaaaaaah!!!

But in my new role I don’t have to talk with him so often. But I know others are and they are not so … happy, either.

But I just get angry and depressed having to listen to him.

I give this team at maximum two years then I have to leave.

Hello, I'm lonely depressed.
Thought I'd spread the joy.

I hate applying for jobs. It makes me so depressed. Most of the postings online are just 1000s of recruiters. Most of the jobs im not qualified for. It just stresses me out. I don't want to work for a bad company again. I really want this next one to be the one :(

hi, i have a question of a darker note, hope you won't mind.

How do you deal with monotony at work ?
The more experienced i get, the more my work becomes monotonous. I understand that it's impossible to know everything, but i feel as if there's not that much knowledge left for everyday work.
Sure there will always be new scenarios and more advanced/marginal stuff, but they don't appear that often.
i get depressed (not clinically, just very bad state overall) when i stop learning, which is why i've been strugling quite a bit recently.

i have ~3 years in web dev. So i'm not some kind of guru or anything even close, but this is the problem i have right now.

i've been thinking about switching languages or specialisation (i do enjoy DevOps/sysadmin work), but i'm afraid i'll have the same problem pretty soon...

I just returned from a 1 week vacation and my boss summonned me for a 1 on 1, and said he is not satisfied with my work, as I don't deliver "fast enough" according to him and do not show enough enthusiasm. I just nodded and didn't answer out of shock.

Background: It's my first dev job, and it's in a really fast paced startup. I have no degree, and I'm here for 3 months. I'm 23 years old, he is around 30.

I really don't know how should I feel about this. It's the first time someone tells me stuff like that and I'm kinda depressed. I know I sometimes work slower than my colleagues because I have less experience but I never thought it would come to this.

Any advice?

This is not a happy rant...

Got a new well paying job. Moving up in life. But my wife is not in the same place... She had quite a few career struggles and just lost her current job... It wasn't even a job she went to school for, just whatever she could find...

Now she's getting quite depressed. Luckily she's not envious at me, but does keep saying how lucky she is to have me.

I really want to help her somehow, but this is really a thing I just don't know how... And it just looks like she's not handling it too well. Joking about suicide and crying about being useless... She also keeps saying that all she can do now is be a housewife. We did seek out help for her. But still... I really want to give her better support. I feel useless here.

what happened on TI today?
recently the company the I worked update me to a new cybersec analysis position. that's we'll but no money no nothing just more work and more responsabilities that fine to.
the really depressed thing is the training the transfer knowledge ropes and drills the manager was sleeping and singing Rhianna songs, was the most whit out a doubt "the most depressing training that I've ever had and ist a very well company that I work even he had the courage that told me that" this is the most depressing training ever gave, so by the way the training was about some reports some areas to work whit tickets links basic tools no even related whit cybersec so what it's that the new. way of training really I feel angry depressed and I thought was a lost of time.

Everytime I consult with senior devs on how to transition from my sysadmin job and get my first dev job they always tell me to get a CS degree.

Look. I will get that fucking degree eventually. But I want to build up dev skills and learn from a company before killing myself over math crap for 3 years. But it's like a vicious cycle. Every junior position I apply to rejects me because I have no degree.

I'm fucking frustrated and depressed.
What should I do? I want to break from the IT meme and get a dev job.

In the meantime I'm doing small projects and freelancing in my very little free time. But I feel I'll never truly be a developer until I work as one professionally.