My morning:

Me: Why did you just delete the failing unit tests?

Intern: I debugged it for a while and found one of the other developers broke it with his recent changes. I couldn't fix it.

Me: Did you let him know he broke it?

Intern: No.

Me: So you just deleted it and decided to pretend the feature isn't broken?

Intern: ... No ... I mean ... well you told us yesterday we needed to have all the tests passing.

(I NEED a stress ball people)

When I was a kid I used to play on my old Pentium computer all night after my mother sleeps. One night she caught me playing, she pushed the cabin from the table and broke it 😵. After then I tried to fix it and succeeded. Since then started learning about computers and now a back end engineer..

I've always find it weird when people said "You never know how much you love something until it gone"

Until i broke my keyboard's Left CTRL.

pfft, all you bloody 2 space indentation hipsters

4 spaces for life!

My room fan broke today....

And it has been hot for a while now in The Netherlands, so every store I went to sold out.

So I made one myself :)

On a side note, my pc temperature has never been lower :')

Girlfriend: How was your day?

Me: Oh, Grand broke stuff fixed it,
broke more stuff, fixed that. then almost nearly got something kinda doing what i want.

Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
- The Dilbert Principle (1996)

IT Support to fix what A.I. broke.

Sister comes into my room

"Can you look at moms laptop, it stopped working I'm scared I broke it"

Ask why

"Idk it just stopped working, all I did was install adobe flash player I dont think that could do it could it?"

Top kek

Take a look

"EFI IPV4 0 (error code) failed to boot"

Weird. Enter bios

"Hard drive: [Not detected]"

Well, that's no bueno

Pop open back, hard drive is loose

Pfft, push that fucker back in

Boot -> works

"Mom is going to kill me I broke it im so worried" -> relieved laughter

Adobeflashplayerkilledmyharddrive.jpg

Shook.exe

PM: Hey Brod, I know your really busy refactoring to ES6 but I think our Ruby app broke, could you fix it?..
Me: Ask Tom, he's the only one here who knows ruby he wrote the app..
PM: I didn't want to interrupt his Skype call.
Me: he's not on Skype, that's his face, he's taking snapchats.
PM: oh, well I don't want to really interrupt that either.

SAY YOU HATE ME. JUST SAY IT.

Me: Can you go to that page and see if the issue is fixed?

Colleague: if I go there it breaks things

Me: yes, it should be fixed now, can you please check it to make sure?

Colleague: but if I go there it will break things

Me: Can you just go to the page

Colleague: it broke something

Me: what did it break?

Colleague: I don't know

Me: ...then how do you know it's broken

Colleague: because the gallery doesn't work

Me: WELL THEN THATS WHAT'S FUCKING BROKEN THEN ISN'T IT

Just took apart my laptop to dust it out from the inside. Had it back together, put the battery in. "Alright, time to make sure I didn't break something"

Beep....beep beep beep....beep beep beep....beep

"FUCK I FUCKING BROKE SOMETHING WHAT DID I BREAK?"

Google Lenovo post codes (Thinkpad laptop). DIMM issue.

"Oh fuck I forgot to put the RAM back in.."

Perfect now

Dev: Hey I found a bug in your PR

Manager: YOU BROKE IT ON PURPOSE!

Dev: … yes?

Me: Damn it guys, you broke the master branch again.

*Fixes master branch*
*15 minutes later*

Coworker: Bro, master branch is broken again.

Me: Oh for fuck's sake, who did it this time?

Coworker: You did.

Me: I have become the very thing I've swore to destroy.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it - unless the customer's paying."

Rule I've never learned and main reason why I don't have enough money despite 25+ years of experience.

Friend: I don’t need git. Git is for people like you who cant do good backup of their code
Me: Yeah, yeah, go do whatever you like...

2h later comes to me:

Friend: Can you make me repo and show how to use it...?
Me: What..? You drunk?
Friend: Naaah, no... My disk broke while ago...

Karma is a bitch :D

Our own company website. Everyone got involved, the process broke down, and because all of management and company owners were participating- it was nearly impossible to get anything done.

We are our own worst client.

> git commit -m 'fixing what I broke earlier'
> git pish
> git: 'pish' is not a git command. See 'git --help'.

Did you mean this?
push
> you know I meant push, why can't you leave me alone and just do it

Just upgraded my company's ecommerce site to the latest versions of everything and nothing broke.

I don't trust it.

IE can go fuck itself.
Today, the reason the some JS broke is because it couldn't handle tabs. Works fine in any other browser.
Replace all tabs with spaces and bam, everything works again.
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

if it aint broke, break it. 😂

Reinstalling arch. I broke it while grading homework. Sad. Also worried my phone is going to ring and I'm going to not have my laptop ready.

"I think my screen broke, it displays some colored lines... wait I'll send you a screenshot"

Classic

My code broke for no reason.
I added a log statement to see why.
*tests code*
It worked....
What the 何?!

Not a rant, but had to come here to post this.

I couldn't resist pranking my wife with the age old "Oh my God, I broke your laptop" prank.

SHE DID NOT FIND IT AS FUNNY AS I DID.

Anyone else tried it? If not, definitely try it.

!rant
Me and my girlfriend just broke up.
I was sad at first but now I can really start focusing on some really interesting projects.

Such as my new secret website that I will release soon. I think you'll like it.

Oh, we don't know why it broke. I know you just did A HUGE FUCKING DATABASE SEVER UPGRADE to the server we're connected to, but no one understands this code, so can't update it to work. Can you roll back 3 VERSIONS so our application that hasn't had a code change in 11 years is optimized?

It took 8 months, but my code finally broke production!

Just broke up with my girlfriend and it feels AWESOME! Like I’m free now! I finally can do what I like to!

Finally! To live without regrets and fears of not being able to entertain someone. It’s finally my thoughts, my music, MY life. My fucking life. Just me as is and it’s awesome. Finally, after three years of suffering.

FUCK YOU

People: "N00bPancakes! Your code broke something!"

Me: "Holy leaky diaper, I had a weird feeling about that code!!!! Stupid me!!! I'll get on that!!!"

-furious clicking-

Me: "How could this even .. .wait a second..."

- reverts last merge -

- still broken -

Me: "See I knew it wasn't my code...."

(´◔౪◔)

My code just broke during a presentation and I wasn't there to fix it. My CS professor got embarrassed in front of a bunch of future students.

I had made a last-minute change right before going on vacation... Never doing that again!

I broke the toilet seat on day 2 at the office and have been watching it get worse and worse until it silently got replaced two weeks later.

Oops.

I accidentally broke our office’s tablet device. Operations manager said it will be deducted from my salary next month.
Few weeks later, my operations manager breaks his laptops touch screen. I almost did a naked run in excitement.

We got an HTC Vive from my girlfriend’s brother two weeks ago. We’ve been enjoying it, playing games, looking at places to move, using it as a virtual vacation (since we haven’t left the house in months thanks to covid and sweltering heat), etc. It’s been amazing.

Today, my 1yo decided it would be great fun to wrap its cord in the exercise bike and spin the pedals (and therefore flywheel) as fast as he could. It ripped the headset band off, broke the plastic attachment, and tore the cables out. He also broke the pedal somehow.

So no more Vive.

We can probably get it fixed, but.
My heart hurts.

Used to build custom computers... Used to get calls from pissed off people that their cup holder was poorly designed and broke off... One guy even called about it a second time... After we explained what this was for and replaced the part.... SMH

Me: Hey Steve why are you working at this workstation today?

Steve: Cause I broke my computer and the one next to my computer, and this one is taking so long to sign in.

Me: It's probably just taking long because it's talking to the other two to find out if it should log you in.

Steve: Oh dear, can it still talk to the one I turned off?

So how is your Friday?

Well let me tell ya, fixed a production issue and I'm totally exhausted and to top it off my girlfriend broke up with me.

I need a fucking drink!

Microsoft are deprecating MS Paint. Fuck.

What's the most stupid/raging way you broke a device ?

Me? I fell asleep in my bed, while reading some rants.. on my fucking phone and broke it while sleeping on it

So it happened that a roll of my office chair broke. Since the ordering process in our company is a nightmare and takes forever AND my employer is too cheap to buy enough adequate replacement, I had to draw and print a spare part myself...

2.5 hours of a not us problem phone call and these fuckers broke it worse than it was before. What the hell? Whyyyyyyyy?

!rant
Saw the Notre Dame burning. Man, that shit broke my heart. I legit cried watching it.

In a new country and in isolation.
Laptop out of charge. Plug converter broke so cannot connect my laptop to power.
Ordered one. Need to wait one whole day for it to arrive.
Perfect gloomy weather to just reflect my mood.
Not even allowed to go out for a walk.
Wrote down some pseudo on paper so I don’t forget.
Only to realise there was a problem with it.
So I rewrote it correctly.
Now just waiting.

Aaaaand my whole world came crumbling down. All I have is a laptop with a battery backup of 15mins, and now the charger broke.

I was almost done with coding a nice feature, just few more lines and I would have been able to push.

But, rather it went dark. And now I can't code, nothing matters, everything is meaningless 😞

I was asked by a client to code review their platform built in PHP. The platform was becoming slow and new features built by their current IT supplier broke existing features.

I gained access to the source code... One PHP file (index.php) containing about 80K lines of code... I am impressed and disgusted at the same time. 😂

!rant/story

I feel so great after switching from Windows 10 to (GNU/(REEE))Linux Kubuntu.

No annoying and redundant programs that are not quitable anymore.

It is like having a rooted phone. I am the god and not Microshit.

I am free. It feels so relaxing.

Sure, while setting this new system up, I broke a lot of things (even with years of preknowledge on linux servers), but I finally managed to finish it.

After a nightmare weekend where moving my 80 year old desk caused the wood to completely split and almost broke my computer and screens in the process..... I felt physically sick.....

Somehow I became a carpenter for the day and rebuilt and resized my desk to make it better then ever.....

Couldn't be happier with the final result tbh!

Had a 1:1 with my boss last night and together we figured out a tricky bug related to my PR. However, either my PR or that bug patch broke a tangentially-related test. Queue my usual exhaustion, and I gave up trying to fix it.

This morning, I'm looking at it and nothing makes sense. My change should not have broken the test. So I reran the controller's tests, and... they all pass?

What is logic.

Good thing, though; that test leads to a few rabbit holes I haven't even begun exploring yet.

Oh, never mind. It broke again.
Ergh, here we go. 😔

Today I broke our testing server.
I accidentally (don't even ask, I'm stupid) renamed the /lib folder and nothing worked anymore. Not a single bash-command. I had to shutdown the server and reboot it with a recovery-cd to rename the folder again. Luckily it all runs in a vSphere so I didn't even had to stand up from my desk.

Cousin: my computer is broke
Me: oh, what happened?
Cousin: i dropped it and now it doesnt want turn on, can you fix it?
Me: im a programmer...
Cousin: yeah but you can fixed its the same thing!
Me:

I did it. I completely broke windows by plugging in my laptop charger.
The colors in this image have not been distorted at all.
Fuck this OS, royally.

So i started using atom text editor like a month ago. After finding out i can install packages and going on a spree.... I may have broke it. You know you are in for a pickle if the editor starts with more errors than windows vista.

If you use vagrant, virtualbox and a mac os, don't update to monjave yet. Apple broke it without fix so far. Can't run my homestead 😣

My new favourite response to a bug ticket:

"But do you not remember we tested the implementation and it worked?"

... yes ... then it broke under other circumstances.

... must be terrorists or something

i think ive been waiting a while too long today :(

I think I broke devRant 🤔
On my phone it shows 49 notifs while on laptop it shows 23 🤔🤔🤔

someone pushes code and breaks ci.
me: you broke the build
her: (ignoring the explicit error message) it works on my machine, travis is broken
me: it doesn't even work on my machine!
her: I forgot to push one file, sorry.

My roommate: why do you look so mad.

Me: stupid program is broke

My roommate: didn't you fix it yesterday?

Me: yes. I broke some thing else

Roommate: oh on a different project?

Me: nope same one.

Roommate: [walks away more confused than when the conversation started]

Me: "Hey, the IP binding on this page is broken"
My boss: "u broke it!"

Bish I haven't touched this project in 24 hours and it was working this morning. You're the only person that has access to it other than me.

My wife's phone started having power button issues. Then it broke completely with spastic random presses, causing the phone to boot loop. It's a 3 year old Nexus 5 so I was mostly concerned with backing things up, not rescuing it.

Cleaning didn't work, tapping the switch didn't work. This hack worked.

Backup complete.

Four engineers and a broke down car

One day, mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.

The mechanical engineer said, “I think a rod broke”.

The chemical engineer said, “The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas”.

The electrical engineer said, “I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system”.

All three turned to the computer engineer and said, “What do you think?”

To which, the computer engineer replied, “I think we should all get out and then get back in”.

A few years ago, a fellow programmer called me to teach him how to use git blame to find out who wrote that piece of code that broke the monetary ecosystem in this game. He was pretty upset about it because they blamed him about it. I gladly helped him just to see my own name there. Sad story.

I was messing with my Ubuntu setup, and somehow, I broke it

Since I didn't have a recent backup, I decided to switch to Manjaro

I'm in love

I’m dealing with the worst client I’ve ever had. The project has gone on for way longer than it should, mainly because of them adding a tonne of features to the scope. I should have told them to fuck off but I felt sorry for them because COVID was hitting them hard. So I put in a lot of extra unpaid work to try and get them through it and now they repay me by asking for a refund because they’re now broke?

They blame me for their now being broke when it’s clear they’re broke because of COVID absolutely decimating the restaurant industry. They say that because it took so long to add all those extra unlaid features it’s now my fault?

All this just as I’ve finished the app and am going through the process of releasing it to the stores. I’m probably going to have to take them to court to even get my pay out of them... Thats if they even have money to pay now.

I’ve spent all year trying to get this app out the door only for them to turn around and start abusing me on the phone when things start going down hill for them.

This whole project has been a complete waste of time when I could have been focusing on clients that don’t treat me like shit.

*squirming in bed*
If it ain't broke don't fix it.. If it ain't broke don-WHAT THE FUCK IS "payment.needed2"??
Calm down, it's just some bad code but it works, you didn't write it, it's not your probl-WHY THE FUCK DO THE IF STATEMENTS HAVE SO MANY DUPLICATED LINES??

Sleep. Just sleep.

Wrote myself a flight stability controller for a drone I built - used an ultrasonic sensor for altitude so it should've maintained a constant altitude, but I had the throttle increments too high...
Hooked up the battery - off it fucked, hit the ceiling, bounced off a wall, and broke 2 props before I could grab it and yank the battery off.

Protip - if you're building a drone, tie it to a heavy fucking rock for your first flight test!

Welp. My door fell on my desk and broke it so there goes me coding.

I find a poor tester copy/pasting data from the test environment to the live one, as he accidentally broke it. I ask the DBA, " why isn't syncing SQL records part of the deployment pipeline?"

"You're front end. This is my job. Go do your job."

"... but it's an easy query, and you're exposing us to human error."

"You need to go sit down."

Current lappy got about 4GB RAM and not enough cores. I can't even run krita without it slowing down more the more I work on a file.
It would be frustrating if only I wasn't so depressed.
So yeah, due to being broke and lack of nerves, I'm gonna completely stop working on the comic for now.

First week in the job and I was told to update an intranet page. Opened it in notepad, made the change and saved it.

Turned out it was a SharePoint site and saving it in notepad broke all the links and turned it into a static page. Even worse, it was the homepage of the intranet.

I blame lack of training and, in hindsight, how awful SharePoint is.

Anyway, at least we successfully tested the backup process...

Not ONLY does the new code a coworker wrote straight up not work (and they somehow managed to merge it to master) but it also broke an entirely unrelated endpoint due to an abstraction they tried to make. Very clear they didn't even run their code at all.

There. I fixed the bug. Tested every way possible 10 times and it won’t break. I’m awesome.

Tells a tester I have a phone with the new app-version installed for testing on my desk when he has time.

He just... came to my room. I gave him the phone. He looks at it, does SOMETHING and just ”Ya man, I broke it”.... whaaaat O.o

We upgraded to Dyn Managed DNS last month, now we're down with the DDoS attack! If we didn't upgrade from their standard plan, we would be online still 😂

First thing on Monday. The very first thing.

I fucking killed prod.

Reminder to my future self to either stash local config files and .htaccess files... or add them to gitignore... But either way, don't leave them lying around assuming I won't do something dumb and accidentally commit them. Because some fateful Monday morning before I've had my coffee I'm going to do something dumb.

One day, I was waiting for a friend to install windows... after 2h he just says: ah, I'll just take it home and wait it out there!

So, he put his laptop in his bag (btw the usb stick was sticking out) and left it there.

Just as he stepped away from the bag, the bag just decided to fall down and exactly on the usb... and ofc it broke down...

The face he made I'll never forget.

Fuck it. Today I broke my production server installing the brotli encryption on nginx. -_-

Sooooooo since a few days im feeling more and more depressed.

There are some things that might cause it :
- school
-My last frienhship broke (not like i care about sociality. lol)
-my parents being so strict.

What can i do except for going through this, eyes shut?
I alceady had a depression i dont wanna get back there :/

I just made my own implementation of a scraper for NASA's Pic of the Day. It should have automagically changed my wallpaper at 4 AM to the new pic of the day.

Today's "pic of the day" is a video. It broke my shit.... So much for the excitement of seeing my automation work.

An iOS app which was basically a wrapper for a giant jQuery eForm.
~5000 lines of custom JS and it broke ALL THE DAMN TIME. A team of us worked on it for about a year and all we ever did was fix bugs. But the bug count never went down. The bugs just got replaced with more bugs.
Thankfully its not live anymore.
After the global thermonuclear war, all that will remain is cockroaches and jQuery.

Someone thought it would be "funny" to block Amazon today for Prime DAY.

Broke production...

FML

Finished my on call rotation. Coworker is still on a call for 10 hours. She's not on call. I might be getting on this call. For the sake of the idiots who didn't listen and broke it worse, I really hope I don't have to take over for her. I might get fired tonight...

Why would someone in their right mind change a piece of code that was working fine (and it wasn't a complete mumbo jumbo in styling, logic, transparency, was in line with how the project was coded etc..) to use dapper just to call a stored procedure?! Dafaq is wrong with people!?
Or is it just me & I'm overreactig again?!
I hate when people add more stuff to projects that are already overbloated with fw/techologies to do something so trivial.. like adding 6827646 js fw so you can use one function in each (or are simply still there because they didn't know how to use it and left it in project) which could easily be achieved with our own fw we use...wtf?! O.o
// me cringing, cussing etc..

So I was trying to start learning Unreal engine. Created two classes, added 3 lines to one.

The engine crashed and now also crashes when I try to open the project. Learning is on track!

My fucking work challenges:
1. "Talk to this thing over the internet" what language does it speak? Fuck knows
2. "Make sure all the files are correct in the server" Our server plan only allows 3 requests per second, and someone is pinging it. Can't do shit.
3. "Shit broke!" You broke it. It was working fine. In fact, all our problems stem from that 1 thing you broke!
4. "Stay here all night" The hallway to the bathroom's door is locked. I can go to my workstation but have to go outside to get to the bathroom!

Fuck, its like you don't want me to succeed

Just got the Oreo 8.0 update for my OnePlus 5T. Yay!

But it broke something, so now I can't debug my app with Xamarin... 😐

Luckily there's already a bugreport on their bugzilla! It seems like it's been fixed. Just need to update Visual Studio. Guess I'm lucky after all. 😁

...

The problem is still there... 😡
Don't know what to do now... 😕

Whomever broke the build and hasn't fixed it for days show yourself you coward!

I just broke 2 phones in two days... believe it or not... Both screens cracked and no swipe functionality survived...

I miss my fucking Nokia Lumia 930... that motherfucker was almost fully destroyed, screen cracked as shit, I could actually hold the screen on one hand and the rest of the phone on the other and it was still fucking working...

Needless to say, I'm going to Amazon and I'm getting a new Nokia phone, fuck LG, fuck Sony.

Microsoft owns github
Microsoft owns windows
Microsoft owns powershell

Why then, why exactly, is it so fucking hard to get ssh private keys for github, up and running on windows powershell.

I tried to change permissions on files but then it broke the git-bash implementation 😭.

Fuck it !! 😭😭

Terminator's broadcast feature is nice.
However, it's fragile as crap, and oftentimes sends duplicate characters, or adds garbage.

Quite awhile ago I posted a PSA on how to fix it (by killing ibus) but now it's broken for me again. And due to just how it broke, I've given up on fixing it. Instead of broadcasting one or two duplicate characters like before, it now hangs for many seconds because it's broadcasting THREE BLOODY MEGABYTES WORTH OF DUPLICATES with every keystroke.

Like, seriously?
How do you fail that hard?

Today I chmodded -R 777 /
It started blurting out permission denieds on my /proc/ dir and i aborted after staring at it for a sec. It was hella scary, almost broke a server at work. But it still works and ll / only shows 6 green dirs. *Awkward laugh* 🙄

So someone posted their btc wallet details (system automated message through a custom tool) to a paste in alternative.

Was the login for an ssh. Wont confirm or deny ssh-ing into it, but another guy who saw the same thing messaged me, sent a screenshot. Account had 127k usd worth of btc in it.

Called the radio station it belonged to and gave them a heads up. Probably should reported it as well but people already seen it so it'll get taken down soon enough.

Here I am broke, busting my ass and reality throws this in my lap. But I ain't never been no god damn thief. Hope the radio station it belongs to doesnt get robbed by someone less honest though.

Honesty is probably half the reason I've spent half my life broke trying to find or make opportunities.

And frankly I've heard real horror stories of good faith reports (whitehat style pentesting, etc) and the people that report it get fucked hard by authorities. What can you do though.

Enough navel gazing though.
What the fuck is wrong with the people who build these sort of account reset tools anyway?

My dad was an IT and as a kid when our NES broke and I couldn't play Mario he showed me F-22 lightning (an aerial combat game) and I thought the missiles were fireworks. I always called it the airplanes and fireworks game. Good memories.

I just broke out of merge-hell.... It was a mere 2 and a half hours... But my migraine says it was eternity.... 😶

Today my phone screen broke!

Need to fix it..

But I realized that using a LeEco phone, my company's already too broke to fix it!

!dev

Got one of these today, pretty cool in my experience. I do not have any experience at all with sdr's.

I taught I broke it for a good 30 min thinking 350 € down the drain, turns out i accidentally set the antenna gain to 0 (damn ui designer)

My old boss used to deploy sometimes at the last second. I was about to walk out of the office (friday at around 5:30pm) when he said "Oh wait i wanted to deploy this website you've created" Before i could argue he deployed the website and ofcourse it broke in production..
This caused me to stay for another hour and a half in order to fix it...

Broke down and asked the junior dev to help me hash out an issue. He's also struggling with it.

I'm not a retard after all... unless were both retards.

Watched an action hack movie
Then designed a scenario to sniff around a bank and get the encrypted key and finally extract the key and omg!
I've broke into the bank !!!
But seriously, is it worth trying?
I'm not going to do any thing stupid like even taking a dollar , but is it just the way I thought it is?
Will anything unexpected happen?

Buying a motherboard variant without WiFi to save 100€ is the worst financial decision ever...

Here I am, after spending over 300€ in USB adapters first, then PCIe boards, buying another one because it broke again...
The alternative is to buy a new motherboard (gen 4 in 2023?!) or change the whole system... two even worse financial options.

Lead: how long do you think it would take to fix the bug?
Programmer: 20 mins with a testing
**Lead an hour later**
Lead: I don't see PR for the fix
Programmer: the fix broke all the unit tests so I am fixing them now.

After realizing I had a problem, I finally broke down and called the tinnitus hotline.
It just kept ringing and ringing.

apparently my bank's password length limit of 10,000 is too much for paypal's app to handle and it fucking imploded. sadly, no screenshots were allowed by the app, but it fucking broke so hard it spat logs and shit at me with no formatting or anything. it was NUTS dude

I just broke the software I am working in and I don't know how. Like seriously. I didn't change anything. It just stopped throwing the error I am supposed to be fixing and started throwing a different one. I blame ghosts.

Just committed a code review change with a heart emoji included, Turns out Crucible does not support this and it broke the code review, Spent the last half an hour trying to change my commit message to fix the review

FML

Computers fear my devaura. Everytime I get called to fix something it magically starts working when I enter the room. 5 Minutes after I leave it broke again.

Repeat like while(true)

Colleague: I cant install windows on our playcomputer. you broke it.
<Me walks to the computer, he looks away>
<silently deletes the debian entry in the nvram>
<installs windows, without an problems>
Me: So, where is the Problem?
Colleague<slightly angry>: I made it exact like you!
Me: o_O

Deployment can be a reason for heartache...

I deployed a website yesterday and it was a damn hustle. After changing into goodmode and typing random stuff into the console, I broke another of my websites on the same server.

Now I had two sites to deploy / repair. Damn.

After a few hours I managed to make both work. But damn, that adrenaline rush that gave me. Fuck!

I struggled to find the interview location as the company as they were using another companies offices. As I sit down, sweating, feeling rushed for barely making it on time the interviewer says: "Tell us a joke"

I should have got up and walked out, but since I was there already I pulled this one out:

One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.

The mechanical engineer said, I think a rod broke.

The chemical engineer said, The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas.

The electrical engineer said, I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system.

All three turned to the computer engineer and asked, What do you think?

The computer engineer said, I think we should all get out and then get back in.

I've just come to realize that in all the time I ran Netdata on my servers, it was nightly releases, automatically updated too.. that somehow never really broke. Not even minor issues.

I really like that... Moving fast doesn't always have to imply breaking things. I wonder how they're doing it.

I downloaded somebody's GitHub code to use for a project. It had a bug that broke functionality, so I fixed it and started running it to gather data. Then it stopped working for a different reason. I rechecked out the code fresh, same (second) issue occurred. It was a second bug, that once I fixed it, everything worked. But I didn't need to fix it the first time! There weren't any commits in the last two months! I blame ghosts.

Great, they broke it...
Good job Rockstar games

My killer PR:
I made a small feature and it was to be merged in my senior's branch.
So I made it, resolved all the conflicts and when it got merged it broke my senior's branch.
This is nothing new and it happens, so me and him sat down and got it working. After two days, his branch got merged and broke it's parent 😂, after investigation my code was the reason, got fixed and merged.
Same thing happened 3 more times, and every time my code was the culprit.
Now for staging we thoroughly tested everything and deployed it, after running for 2 hours the piece of shit broke again 😂😂😂.
A meeting was arranged for scolding the team, and after the meeting the architect comes to me and say "how did you manage to fuck things on so many levels, literally?". I handled it like a pro with an awkward laugh.

We exhaustively checked it for production. Deployed, it did not broke, we were happy. After a month of successful run, I just joked about the above incident while we were working on next release on morning coffee. That cursed thing broke on the same evening. I was like 😮

I fucking hate when someone says something broke the internet! Is it fucking down? Can I fucking play my games? Read my fucking email?

If so, the pictures of Kim's ass, or Nicki's assumed sex tape didn't break the fucking internet!

I learned about this supposed breakage after the fact, from news outlets talking about how is broke!

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it
I gave it to you straight don't mix it"...

Since when did DMX take on Programming?

I think I broke it gg

the worst mistake, really, was crashing our production not once, but twice in two days, and being too much of a newbie to recognize it was my fault it broke because of my code

(3 days on the project)

Colleague: Ah I finally improved something in this sorry excuse for an app these interns built.

Thought I broke it there for a minute, but the homescreen is back to showing 180 entries.

Me: Current released app only shows 1 entry.

Colleague: FFFFUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!

In a meeting, we made some pretty major adjustments to a dev server. We broke it. Under pressure, I cracked and I randomly forgot the syntax for a sql update statement that might’ve at least got it back semi-online. To be fair, it’s been several years since I’ve needed any sql. Thank goodness I grabbed a snapshot as soon as I realized things were about to get edited. Saved. 😁

So, I spent the last two days hunting down a bug about some of the static assets not getting versioned.
It turned out to be a mistake by some newbie missing a quote in html. The html parser responsible for versioning the assets broke once it ran into that bad html.

Somehow, I don’t feel satisfied. I guess I shouldn’t hope for big reasons for seemingly big problems.

just woke up in the middle of the night dreaming of merging some branches after working a 16 hour shift straight because my company is too fucking broke to hire another freakin' dev...

well fuck it who needs sleep at all! let's get some coffee...

Hahah the other day I broke the bracket key on my keybord from pressing it while coding and had to buy a new one.
Everyone asked me how I broke the 0 key before the E.

I updated Linux on my private pc to new major and literally everything broke like it was 2006. I was surprised because i hadn't this for ages but not even mad - because i knew it would be fixable. It took me 1 hour, than everything was okay again. I wish the fixability in crisis in my relationship was as reliable. Maybe I should marry Linux instead.

Since the last Windows Update broke my wife's laptop (the WiFi driver doesn't woro anymore) she's moving to Linux. I hope it goes well since she is a non-techi. I kinda am excited.
The biggest problem will be the lack of Adobe Illustrator. 😕

So yeah. Just clicked "update" in Visual Studio. After 6 hours of waiting, it broke and had to wait an hour to repair it.

Replaced battery in my phone but during the process I broke cable to front camera.
Looks like it’s time to also replace front camera.
I am impressed it works without it.

Why do tech impaired people always break their tech and they have "no idea" how it broke...
Seriously? What did you do? You know what you were doing? Were you touching random setting again? For fuck sakes just tell me. You've fucking it up 3 times this week already it's not like I don't know your an incompetent prick.

This week, they tested my backend and all hell broke lose ON THEIR SIDE. We had an emergency phone call and I proofed that it was not my fault which they even acknowledged.
Today, was a good day.

All I wanted to do was to create a quick cordova/phonegap app that uses external plugins - so I can't just preview it.

I ended up spending countless hours debugging why shit doesn't work through --log --verbose --debug, trying to avoid to install the monstrosity that is android studio and finally broke and installed it, fuck this shit.

---

Another post had to go for this. "I feel that's a lie [attached picture]".

A friend mine just told me that he broke his phone's screen, and if I know of any places to fix it. I asked him how much damage it had, he said that he'd send me a screenshot...

I had rough week last week. Accidentally deployed dev code to production, soon found out there was no production version of code to do a redeploy. Deployed another app to production, it was working fine then another Dev changed a data type in the database from bool to nullable Boolean which broke some Linq queries. Looked like I deployed crap code. 3rd week with company.

Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg broke several days of silence in the face of a raging privacy storm to go on CNN this week to say he was sorry. He also admitted the company had made mistakes; said it had breached the trust of users; and said he regretted not telling Facebookers at the time their information had been misappropriated.
From techcrunch article.

The first job I had, asked me to build a simple CRUD functionality in CodeIgniter (It was popular in 2017).

I wasn't able to understand the framework and its ins and outs.
(I only knew Core PHP at that point).

It took me 3 days to finish the task and I got yelled at by the team leader because of it and I almost broke down crying. At that point I was convinced that web development career isn't for me.

Slack's latest update just broke the darkify hack. It's 2019, right? It is unbelievable that there is no built-in dark mode for Linux, Mac, or even windows. I mean, they are aware of dark mode. It is available on mobile without trouble. Get it together, slack!

Fuck my life!!! Fuck it right hard!!! My fucking compiler (the one I code) fucking broke down, and i have to put it to competition it two weeks... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck: obviously Iost backup and gitHub doesnt seem like wanting to give me that version back... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck duck!!!!

How I decide on whether to update drivers: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it"

I broke the interwebs XD XD XD
nepripojené - disconnected

The DHCP does not see my computer, my computer says it is disconnected and I am still able to browse the internet perfectly fine :D

Run the tests before you commit, even if it was just a minor modification.

(Yep, I broke most of the tests by changing only a couple of lines. Lesson learned.)

I always love getting yelled at by a client about a feature that they “use everyday” and critical to their business is just not working. Go back and look... it appears that it broke a while ago (in this case a couple months).

It’s my fault, but I do start to question other blanket statements they make.

Fucking hate working with dotnet. Just spent half an hour fixing the most fucked up bug.

So I installed a nuget package on my computer, tested everything, it worked, and pushed. My classmates then pulled it to their pc, and holy hell broke loose.

Everything was red, it couldn't even import System! By a turn of luck, I looked in the .csproj file, and saw that it had made an absolute path to the nuget package on my computer. Well no fucking wonder it only worked on mine then!

And here's the weird thing: it only did it now, it hasn't done it with the other packages we've imported

being a dumbass and ran a blocking call then it broke and i can't kill it with ^C :/
killed it later with htop lol im so fucking dumb

also hi first post here

My life! What has it come to ?

(I'm primarily backend but I'm broke so I can't hire the frontend devs)

Don't you love it when you spend hours working on a project, only to find out later that you've somehow broke something else?

I was happy because I broke 600 points on StackOverflow. Then I saw the post about the guy that reached 1 million and it killed my self confidence

So a while back I got a new Mac book pro for work, and it was nice for a while, until the keyboard broke, so I gave it to apple so that they would 'repair' it, and although, they gave me a new keyboard, the keys were still garbage, and a while later broke again... and this is the second time that I've had to spend a week without a computer because of shitty butterfly keys... 😢😢😢

Follow up to the follow up rant: ubuntu broke.

I tried searching for my git client I had installed: not found.

: Git status
Command not found (even though I’d used it less than an hour earlier)

*restart to see if that fixes it*

My laptop: STEP RIGHT UP STEP RIGHT UP LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS WONDERFUL TTY LOGIN SCREEN WITH NO GUI WHATSOEVER. THANK YOU THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Personal mini-project from a million years ago which I practically don't maintain anymore, broke. External APIs are being bitches.
Made a fix, but I'm too lazy to push. (I don't think anyone else is using it tbh)
Huehuehue.

So we thought we did something wrong and caused our AdX revenue to plunge. But after 'fixing' yesterday, we broke it further. Then we realised there were alot of illogical numbers on AdX report. We are suddenly making 1/3 of our ad revenue! I am running out of ideas. Anyone else is facing same issue?

Just met a lonely guy , he was terrified . I asked him what's the issue ? He said .. " My girlfriend told me that she loves gemstones , I bought her one . She broke up with me ! " And I was so confused .. I asked him why ? He said I didn't know she was a developer . I wouldn't dare to gift her a ruby... I know how it feels bruh.

1. Kill Internet Explorer
2. Kill anyone who sell their web/app/design services cheaply that broke the market value
3. Kill anyone who want something in exchange of "exposure" or "you'll get the money when we get funding or IPO" or some shit like that, you name it.

use the GPT they said...

it will buy you some time they continue...

... took me half a day to notice its stupid syntax err which broke the 50 line sniped ( no err in the console ofc ( thanks JS ) )

it would probably take me no more than 15 mins to find a proper example anywhere on the net and apply my vars to it...

Haha ! Can't balive i fanally broke this chain and joined a group for statistics final project !
It was soooo difficult but i did it 😎

So me being illiterate fuck in C++ and shit, I just broke a build of one of the biggest Autodesk's softwares for hundreds of people around the world and didn't realize it until around a day later (now) after feeling weird about those tens of new mails..

Weeeell, apparently 96.0 isn't float, heh:))))

Now everyone has seen my shit code and wants me to rewrite it using some of their classes, hihihi

Feel ashamed af.... sorry guys

Yay today my power extender broke!
(the thing that allows you to connect multiple devices to one sockiet, i dont remember the correct term)

That means i need to buy the new one! Because the old one is using rivots it means i cant repair it!

Stupic fucking lead free solder! Why do you even use this shit for connections? It will create those tin wiskers (small wires) that will short shit! This is the reason why my 3 old power extenders failed! And it is propably the reason why it failed as well!

I feel so fucking proud after finally finishing what i started coding

I delayed so many days and procrastinated because it seemed way too fucking hard to code it

But i sat down and forced myself to do it despite it being hard

Yes i broke my fucking head trying to figure it out but i somehow figured it out

And it is finally fucking done

Fucking good Lord thank you

Call me a novice, but isn't the point of a user story to be concise, limited in scope and only concerning one purpose? Kind of like a class should only have one responsibility.

This stupid other reviewer developer comes whining at me saying I broke some shit in my user story and that I need to fix it. The weirdest part is that I didn't break anything. I wrote all my tests, they all passed and yep, this guy has the nerve to come and say that I broke other shit. Well genius, if it's OTHER SHIT, then it belongs as a bug in ANOTHER STORY. What the fuck man, seriously.
A few minutes of debugging later, I found out it was someone else who broke some code earlier on a piece that was part of my part of the application.

Why are others so quick to blame? This is unprofessional. OMG I DISCOVERED AN ERROR, YOU'RE PROBABLY THE ONE TO BLAME BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IGNORANT GUY BECAUSE YOUR TITLE IS JUNIOR DEVELOPER!
Right.

Companies like these, people, have bad communication. Bad companies.

*Writes CloudFormation Template.*
*Launches Stack*

Starts Murmuring,

"The cycle repeated
As explosions broke in the sky
All that I needed
Was the one (JSON Invalid Format :| ) thing I couldn't find
And you (Teammates) were there at the turn
Waiting to let me know

We're building it up
To break it back down
We're building it up
To burn it down
We can't wait
To burn it to the ground

Me: "FML :| "

Helped an elderly neighbour to fix his landline connection, since it broke down.
Somewhat an emergency, cause he don't have a mobile phone.

It seems, this got around and another neighbour asked if I could plug in his new printer and install the drivers.

Gosh, RTFM and don't buy hardware you can't handle.

No, I won't fix your computer.

For anyone following, I broke my E key on my laptop keyboard. I ordered a new one and it should arrive tomorrow. I am going to be able to type else and exeception properly after a really long time!

So I broke my beloved Fedora Dist. instead of doing a little "sudo chmod -R 754 ./" on a development folder, I did it on root folder ( / )
Now, OS crashed, and I'm getting infinite loops when booting.
But I'm not even mad. I'm impressed :o

First I didn't switch to the 4.18 kernel because it breaks thousands of gnome extensions and customization, now newest gnome broke it all too and downgrade caused gnome to just blackscreen, time to re-install

Let me check Slack
Just before I go to bed
Just in case — OH NO

It’s not what you think
It isn’t like I broke prod
… request makes me cringe.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it

Git should have an option - - gud which signs the last developer to commit to log each time it's called. (in case they borked it). That way, everyone could spam someone's stupid name who broke production.

Someone please tell me why react sees if(x = y) as valid js. That typo basically broke my app for 3 weeks and I didn't figure it out untill now. It set all my states to the same value. Fuck me 😑

I just love antergos, haven't updated in like a month, because wasn't using my laptop as much, booted it up, ~200 package updates, it failed because one file needed to be deleted as per announcements (I now subbed to those) and all updates cleanly went through.

Last time I didn't update a week on arch, it broke ~6 core packages and my dm, never thought I'd be on a pretty much arch release, but without the actual bleeding edge issues.

Worst architecture: the stack compiler I wrote. I basically just made my own shitty webpack.

The idea was simple: Babel to minified JS, Scss to minified CSS, and HTML to minified HTML. Made in Node JS, of course. (perhaps that’s where I went wrong!)

The thing works... and I use it... but boy is it bad. It even broke on my current project (which is for a client so...) and I’m having to work around my own god damn code.

I really need to revisit it and redo it.

Right after breaking my camera lens, my brother again broke my precious favorite mouse. I don't know what to do about it. After all, he is my brother.

College broke my school VM by "accidentally" pushing a policy to just me that disables being able to start anything after logging in (no DWM or Explorer, either, so just login, then infinite abyss.) Fine, nothing I can't fix, i got around shit like this in middle school. Reboot... can't get to the school's webpage. No DNS...?

No.

Windows disabled all the network services. Why? Defender didn't start, is why. Why not? School broke it. Goddammit. Gotta fix that.

There, are we ready now? NO, OFFICE ATE SHIT. FUCK, LEMME REBOOT AGAIN...

How about now? Everything works? Cool, let's get some work done. Download assignment, and... file's busted. Redownload? Nope. One more try? Nothing.

I am going to flip my shit I swear to fuck

Why the FUCK SCALEWAY DOESN'T DELETE MY FUCKING ACCOUNT!

Arrgh. I just want it to be deleted. I clicked delete almost 3 months now. I used their service for 2 months, charged for 4.

Ok, there is the story.

> Be me
> Be broke
> Buy their 3 Euro package
> Use it for 1 month, you know, install npm, vpn and stuff
> Be broke
> You have 0 euros in your account
> Cannot log in to server couse you didn't paid their bill
> Sure, they have right to do that
> Forget about it
> Earn money
> 3 months later, remember it
> Ok, I want to delete it, couse i don't use it anymore
> Remember you used more than 1 month, so pay your debt
> There is 3 issued bills
> Try to delete account
> Wait 1 month
> They didn't deleted your account
> Fuck it, there is the money you want
> Pay all the bills, hope it ends
> Wait 1 week
> Nope
> Open a ticket
> Says it will be deleted in few weeks.
> Wait 1 month
> DIDN'T FUCKING DELETED

WHY CAN'T THEY DELETE THAT SHIT FOR FUCKS SAKE. WHAT CAN I DO FOR MAKE THEM DELETE MY FUCKING ACCOUNT?

FUCK.

Things you should not say on your last day of work:

If I broke it, I think it would be pretty obvious.

Boss while working at a computer repair shop, he was a chill guy and great guy to talk to. Didn't mind if I came in a little late and regularly let me leave early.

Regularly got fun stories like how someone's cd drive broke because they thought it was a bagle holder.

Mashable.com response with json.

Someone broke it.🤣🤣🤣

That moment where you're scared for you job because one of your merges seemingly broke the builds for the 2nd time in a week, had HR reach out, a more senior developer take over the ticket after it gets sent back from testing twice ONLY TO FIND OUT LATER IT WAS ANOTHER PERSONS TICKET THAT WAS CAUSING THE ISSUE

<rant class="sysadmin">
Fuck you windows, haven't touched my PC in 2 months and I boot it first had to restore basic functions after that a Windows update came that broke everything in Windows, now I'm learning PowerShell to fix my broken windows and to install updates in the hope I get a working installation back.

I just bought a new smartphone, cause i broke the one i had before, and i find it really good for only 140€. It has 4gb RAM and 1,5Ghz 4 cores processor, and an IP68 Shock/Dust/Water protection. The only problems that i have are that as the brand is not really popular (model is Phonemax Rocky 1), there are no recovery/roms or easy ways to root it. Maybe if i have time i'll try to port TWRP and LineageOS, but i'll have to do it myself... :(

If it ain't broke...

Budgie isn't my best match, but I'm not gonna go back to deepin either. It broke my heart and now I'm done so it can choke on my non-existant dick. *inset darth vader joke*

Can someone pleeeeeeeaaaaaase make some DE that looks pleasant (take lessons from kde/deepin/budgie/mac/whatever) and runs on arch? Please please pretty please?

Do you guys worry about your non disclosure agreements at work? I use my personal computer at work so I do my own projects on the same computer as work but it makes me a bit uneasy. We're a broke startup and I'm lucky to have the job so I'm not going to ask for a computer.

Also, are you aware of it when you make rants- trying not to be too specific? Or are you not worried?

A few weeks ago, my phone's lock button broke, I don't wanted to buy a new one but few weeks after, the sound broke too, not only the speaker, everything! When I was trying to play a video without sound my phone crashed...
So I bought me a new phone, and it was fun**info worth !!!
The OnePlus 5t is really amazing 😍

An app I wrote in react native broke. It just checks for new episodes and opens the actual download link so this all the ads. The URL seems to have changed from www to www1.... So the Find/Replace broke.

I don't think I will be using RN though because I can't access all features like root commands, that can be done from Android SDK. And probably easier to access all Android's features?

So should I try to fix the RN code (prolly 1 line) or port the whole project to use Android SDK?

Starting up my iPhone 4s to test something
Low battery, I plug it in
It charges, I put it down and let it download an app,
after 5 mins it starts making the sound of unplugging/replugging, something with the cable or the phone is broken, when I was with iphones, these cables were so bad, didn't matter if from Apple or third party
Fucking cables always broke on me

Since Android I never broke a single one, olf micro USB still holding up fine
I guess usb C is even better, but micro serves me a lot better than any fucking apple bullshit cables

Last night's cronjob was the first time I broke everything on the network via my automation. Fixed it before business hours of our clients.

At least I learned my lesson? 😀😁😂🤣😃😃😄😅

Build a tool two years ago that I used to download anime of a website.
Buggers now broke it by encrypting(?) a URL I need and using obfuscated JS so I can't find what I need D: