The original story:
"When I've got my very first android I was downloading any shit from Play Store. There was app called pattern security or something like that. The app was taking selfies everytime power button was pressed several times and then photo would sent to email. One day I left my old phone at home and at the office this is the photo i've received."

Fell asleep on my first day in my very first project. When I woke up, I saw an email from our manager with the subject "No sleeping please.". No email body. 😂

Today's my lucky day for job rejections...

"Unfortunately we have decided not to proceed with you as a candidate because the salary range you expect lies outside our budget."

That's very interesting indeed because in the very first interview (phone call) you asked me about that range and I gave it, straight and simple.

Then I had to do a coding challenge, which I usually refuse, but did anyway. It took about 15 hours. Let's not forget that it had nothing to do with the job I was applying for, but OK.

After that, a second interview, which took 1.5 hours and a third, which gobbled up 2 hours of my time.

Then you tell me that you're not willing to fork over the dosh, after having wasted 18.5 hours of my time!

Thank you very much, you anus blossoms!

!rant

Boss: I need to talk to you.
Me: Something wrong?
Boss: No, just need to talk.
(Not sure what to think)

Meet with boss, first thing he does is shake my hand and proceeds to tell me thank you for all the work you or in on the last project. On tomorrow in addition to your paycheck $1K after taxes will be deposited into your account.

#feeling very appreciated

Life Coach: "I want a website where I can charge $5,000 for 6 weeks of coaching for [weird life problem very few people have or think about].

Me: "That'll be $5,000."

Life Coach: "That's too expensive for a website."

Me (inner voice): "tHaT's ToO eXpEnSiVe FoR a WeBsItE."

Me (real voice): "Consider it not as a cost but as an investment necessary to obtaining your first customer. Once the first customer is realized, you've paid for the website and the future customers will make you profitable.

I saw a colleague of mine cry when I was undertaking my first internship.
Asked them why they were crying and i found out they were very frustrated at a task she had to do periodically, which required repetitive work.

I wrote a script to automate the task without being requested to, since I had some spare time and when I told them they hugged me and thanked me a lot.

Got a "Very Dissatisfied" rating from a user because apparently his issue took 30 days to resolve when the fix was applied in 30 minutes. I'm sorry. It took you 30 days to respond to my first email, during which I consistently sent follow-ups to you and your manger and I'm the bad guy?

The first time writing code in an airplane was very uncomfortable. Everyone around me thought I was hacking the airliner.

I was writing HTML.

I hired a new developer after careful screening and interviewing many candidates.

First thing he's asking first day on the job
- I have already booked august month for holiday, is that a problem?
- I need to come 2 hours before anyone else in the morning and leave 2 hours before, everyday because I have things to do at home.
- I've seen that espn.com sport news are blocked by the firewall, why is that?
- I've installed bitTorrent on my PC but it's very slow downloading movies

I hope he's good.

Me: So here's the completed website.

Client: *goes to Google and searches for media agencies india* What the hell is this ? I was told that my name would come on the first page in Google.

Me: Sir, we had quoted to build SEO friendly pages and not for doing SEO.

Client: This is fraud. How the hell could you cheat me by using these technical words. I want my name on the first page in Google.

Me: *types companyname.com in Google* Here Sir, your website is on the first page in Google.

Client: I very well know fraudsters like you. If I wouldn't have checked it then you'd have charged me for this later on. Here's your cheque.

Worst part of being a dev is handling less techy people than you 😫

How stackoverflow works(for me):

- First some guru will downvote it & someone comments saying it is duplicate/easy/stupid/should be somewhere else.
- Then a very generous person comes in, says its a valid question, answers & upvotes it.
- After few hours/days, other people come looking for the same question & then they upvote it.

This is called a true happy ending.

A lite story about how i was hired at 16 years old.
Me at 11. Modifying HTML templates to create a sign up page for a game. Me at 14. Created some worthless websites in the past (at a training), barely knowing the structure of HTML.
Me at 15. Made my first website for a customer (using WordPress for the first time, didn't know how to use it before). The website was selling apartments, it was looking very good and went on the first place on SEO. Got my first money (100E).
Me at 16. Made some other WordPress websites for other customers (one of them still haven't paid, the website was made way back in 2015), so i shut down the website and replaced it with a text saying "This website is currently down until the customers pays the developer".
Me still at 16. A friend of my mom sent my CV to multiple companies, to work as a intern to learn more, and one of them accepted me for a interview (a well known and one of the best company with 30~ people)
Went to the interview, asked me about what i realized, what i can do, about my knowledges in others languages etc (forgot to mention that i love the computers from young age, so i was very good in them, specially at the age of 11), so they were happy about it and asked called me for another interview with the boss. Went to it, the boss asked me some tricky questions, i answered them immediately, he was very surprised about my knowledge at that age and accepted me immediately. After working for 2 weeks, instead of hiring me as a intern for 4-6 months, they instead hired me as a normal person, as a front end developer, for an undefined date, making 250 E / Month (6 hours per day in summer)
Now, I'm in the 11 grade, working for them about 9 months, making 315 E / Month, working for 4 hours per day after school, the place is cool, my entire team (family) is very funny and very cool, and they asked me many times to help them with different problems they had and i fixed them immediately (they really didn't know some stuff which i knew). Worked on big projects and worked on some from scratch by myself and they were very happy about how it went.

TLDR: was talented in computers (software), I'm a fast learner, barely knew about making websites, hired as a front end developer at 16 yr.

Btw, I'm in love with DevRant, I'm feeling like home everytime i visit this community :').

P.S. Sorry for my bad English and the mistakes i made.

alert("Thanks for reading my first rant!");

Hey, this is my first day and first post on DevRant ! :D

I just wanted to share with you how much i hate the WIX ads on YouTube!

"Hey, want a website? Build it yourself !"

What's wrong with their dumb algorithm at Google? I'm very familiar with web development, just use my cookies and understand that I MAKE MY OWN WEBSITES!

today i was very sleep deprived and i had an anxiety episode at work. that was the first time my coworkers saw me like that. they took me to a cafe, got me a pastry and kept chatting about random stuff while i calmed down. i felt vulnerable and ashamed for not keeping it together, but it was one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for me.

My boss asked me to do tech support today as one of tech support employee was not feeling well.

The very first call i attended, went like:

Me : Sir, this is xyz support desk. How may i help you?

*Listening his problem*

Me : Sir solution is pretty simple. Just do a Right click on application shortcut icon and then select "Open File Location".

Client : where can i find "Right Click"?

My first AI program in the 1985 on Apple IIe (64kb ram computer) was answering simple questions with yes and no. Everyone were shocked with precision of about 100% when I was typing and 70-80% when others were typing. My parents were scared and skeptical. How it works? Store the time between the first key pressure and the following, when it is larger than 1 second the answer is yes, otherwise no. They say the question, you know the answer and type accordingly. When they want to write the question themselves, you try to force their typing speed if possible. I was 12 years old and it was very funny.

My First Post

My friend recommended me to try this app, and I was very impressed by the community here. 😀

I love you, devs!!

My very first post, loving the rants😊. Happy to be a part

So someone posted
"Hello! I need very minor work. Just some bug fixes and debugging"
So I read on and the first requirement is
"There is no admin panel. Make an admin panel for my website"

Like seriously WTF.

Me:(kills the CTRL +S buttons saving something)
Boss: what are you doing ?
Me: nothing much, saving a document.
Boss: is that the best way to save it?
Me: no, it got saved the very first time, the rest is to convince my heart I saved it.

Boss: ... ... ... fair enough.

My first real "rant", okay...

So I decided today to hop back on the horse and open Android Studio for the first time in a couple months.

I decided I was going to make a random color generator. One of my favorite projects. Very excited.

Got all the layouts set up, and got a new color every tap with RGB and hex codes, too. Took more time to open Android Studio, really.

Excited with my speedy progress, I think "This'll be done in no time!". Text a friend and tell them what I'm up to. Shes very nice, wants the app. "As soon as I'm done". I expected that to be within the hour.

I want to be able to save the colors for future reference. Got the longClickListener set up just fine. Cute little toast pops up every time. Now I just need to save the color to a file.

Easy, just a semicolon-deliminated text file in my app's cache folder.

Three hours later, and my file still won't write any data. Friend has gone to sleep. Homework has gone undone. My hatred for Android is reborn.

Stay tuned, the adventure continues tomorrow...

I got my very first dev job! After first making it to an interview where I didn't think I did all too well, I got a boost when on the 22nd December they called me asking for a referral. I gave them one but the person could not be contacted before the 23rd - close to xmas.

After an agonizing wait over the xmas period I finally got the call today. One hell of a way to start the new year!

I got a summer job (full time student) doing actual coding! I am so pumped!!!

Today I wrote a Neural Network in python for the first time, that could identify between strings, numbers and dates. Although the feat may look small it's a very proud moment for myself

*Starts compile*
...
...
can't find function foo
ld exited with status code 1

*confused*
*Reruns qmake*
*Compiles again*
...
...
can't find function foo
ld exited with status code 1

*very confused*
*switches compilers*
*compiles*
...
...
Worked!

*dafuq*
*switches back to the first compiler*
*compiles*
...
...
Worked!

*tries not to cry*

I felt very inspired when I first controlled a LED using QBasic and the LPT1 (printer) port, back in 1996. It just felt like "so much power"!

(Was more or less similar to the photo)

Hide Easter Eggs in your code

In my first program we had a secure file deletion feature

I was tasked of the Mac OS version

While windows version had an icon for drag and drop with a document in a trash bin, in my version when you selected different safety options, it changed icons

Basic deletion had the bin

Intermediate deletion had a document grinder

Advanced deletion had a burning file icon

I was very proud of myself

A few weeks into my first dev job, the owner of the company sent out an email directing that we were no longer allowed to use open source software in our web projects.

I didn't stay there very long.

I’m on the bus going to my first day at a new internship as a embedded C developer. Feeling very excited abou it .

Wish me luck, ranters. Tomorrow I start working in an IT company for the very first time. Hope I don't get fired very soon, freelancing is hard. And I still owe >1300€

I thought I try to install windows XP and go thru the upgrades in a virtual machine. I will install every update for that version of Windows and then proceed to upgrade to the next version.

XP => Vista => 7 => 8 => 8.1 => 10

I'll was going to do the very first windows but, I had an XP install disk, so I am starting with that.

Finally, I'm full of joy. I just came home after long Recruitment drive and first thing I saw on table is this.
I was totally screaming "YES!!! YES!!!! THEY'RE FINALLY HERE" (sorry for caps). Thank you very much @dfox and @trogus and no doubt devRant is the best app I ever had.

3 years ago I became the logistics coordinator of the very first edition of Hacknarök. Now I became the main coordinator of the 4th edition! Honestly I can't wait to do this 😁 I feel so blessed cause this project is like my child 😅

Just had le first sollicitation/interview.

Went pretty good! Nice guy, very relaxed talking/environment aaand they use Linux internally so no windows for me (if I get the job)!

Although the fact that I don't plan on staying longer than a year (maybe I was too honest) wasn't a good thing to say, it was a good interview :)

The very first ad banner on the internet, 1994

Fun fact: on average it's just as fast to type in your search query into Google as it is to get the bloody fucking assistant to understand what you're saying, especially when it includes words that aren't used very often. Makes one wonder why we've developed these things in the first place... 🙄

Ladies and gentlemen... Can we please have a moment of silence for my PC which seems to be on her last legs...

CPU thermal throttling at 40 degrees celcius (CPU is on it's way out)
RAM is randomly having allocation errors
PSU isn't delivering optimal current
GPU only displays out of 2 DP ports

and for the very first time... Have had an SSD fail...

Pray for me people... Please

My own text mmorpg and it's selfmade Chat system! <3

Yeah it's barebones and has some flaws, but its the first project I set an worked through with a very pleasing result ^^

It's a CLI-Style interface with a command and chat mode, multiple rooms, user descriptions etc.

Some day I want to improve it even further, bring much more functionality in the mix, but first I would have to reinforce the base/core of the program ^^

> scrolling through facebook feed
> see ad to apply as an app developer at carrefour
> "you might win 300€ to spend at carrefour"
> "we're searching for an app developer"
> apply
> first test is to make a button that adds stuff to an HTML list, very basic
> pass the first test
> get an email: "you can candidate to the next phase and might get a job"

MFW I just wanted to get 300€ and not a job

Hey guys. I'm very proud to present my first book. Artificial Intelligence. A book that speak about convolutional neural network from the scratch and how artificial Intelligence improve our life. It's not a technical volume only but a place to know what there is inside. Now is time to correct it...

I brought in my friend who's a Java developer (and I respect very much) for a job interview with my boss at the time. I sat in for the interview. My boss' first question to him was "Do you suck cock?"

He got the job.

I'm internally moved from envy feelings against the very first users of StackOverflow.
The ones that got tens of thousands of upvotes for questions like "how to set the width of a div element?"

This big multi-million consulting company hired me as freelance. They did it in a hurry, because "the project already started, it is a very important client (a bank) and we need your expertise by YESTERDAY".

In the first THREE WEEKS I had meetings with their own project managers, their client's project managers, techies, sales people. No one was able to tell me what do I have to do, but:

1 - they asked me for very detailed estimates plus a release plan
2 - f**k your estimates, we need this BY JANUARY 16th

The obvious one:
E-Corp (aka. Evil Corp).
First they acted all evil, and then they wanted to control the world.
A brilliant business model tbh., but not very humanistic one.

After being inspired by the other devRant projects, I started creating my very first android-related project of my own: Viewing rants on my Moto 360 when I'm in a boring meeting

I need to make a confession about my terribly unprofessional project I made. Around two years ago I got thrown for the first time into back end development - I had to work on the project alone. As a very smart man I basically exposed our SMTP server as a nice and very flexible API.

Fortunately it was, by the design, a very short-lived project, taken down from the web completely and for good after around 2 months. I'm still happy I had more luck than brains and nobody used our server as a spam sending service in our name and I have learned a valuable and relatively cheap lesson in security this way.

Today I had my first decent pull request accepted.

It wasn't the biggest problem, but it made a chrome extension not work, and the author and other users couldn't figure it out.

The author seems very chill and called me 'the man' and offered me a drink.
It felt nice.

Changing default branch name from "master" to "main" is just one more entry in the already very long list of "things sane people must do because some retarded american woke up one day and decided to be offended".
I am so fucking tired of the entire world having to accommodate to the first-world-problems of some spoiled brat just because they happen to be american.

I have to refactor code from an intern. He's VERY lucky that he already left the company.

If I'd say he programms like the first human that would be very insulting to that first human.

It looks like code at first sight, but when you try to understand what he was doing to achieve his goal you get a brainfuck. Duplicate code, unused code, dumb variable names like blRszN.

He wrote unittests like "expects Exception to be thrown or Server returns Statuscode 500".
Yes, Exception, the generic one.

THESE FUCKING TESTS ARE GREEN BECAUSE YOU DID NOT ACTUALLY TEST SOMETHING.
GREEN IN THIS CONTEXT MEANS: YOUR PRODUCTION CODE IS A BIG PILE OF SHIT.

I already removed 2 bugs in a test which caused another exception than the "expected" one and the test does still not reach the actual method under test.

Dumb fucktard.

The sad thing: The fuckers who did the code reviews and let this shit pass are still here writing code.

My mentor from my very first dev job. He was also a junior dev as well and used to say crazy things in conversations ar our desks like ‘The pope is the devil’ and ‘We are all going to get mouth herpes’.

I called him “Rogue { lastName }” because he used to dev in production like an animal.

He taught me a lot about coding though.

Miss that guy

A project got pushed live before it was finished, the final piece was supposed to enter site visitors into a draw to win a very expensive prize, but the first few thousand visitors hit the unfinished placeholder page...telling them they'd won said prize. Got noticed pretty quickly, not before a few million had to be claimed in business insurance to pay several thousand 'winners' off. The finger-pointing in the aftermath was quite fun to watch.

QA is essential.

So I would really like to see a devrant like app where devs can share design ideas for problems that are greater than a function call, or topical questions found on stack overflow.

As I have gotten older, I have realized that actual implementation is typically easy, the design approach is typically harder to get right from the first go, so open critique can be very useful.

When your friend tells you that he is stuck, that he tried everything which is possible and that you solved the problem on the very first try. xD

Yesterday I got to the point where all changes that customer support and backend asked for were set, and i could start rebuilding the old models from their very base with the changes and the new, disjoint data the company expansion brought.

So making the start of our main script and the first commit, only having that, had high importance... At least to me.

First time having 2 monitors and actual full size desk inside my own apartment. Very liberating and I should take advantage... nothing beats the privacy of your home where you can think uninterrupted!

Today, for the first time in my life I quit my job

I feel very happy (refer to any of my older rants), yet i also feel very sad because in spite of all the quirks, it’s a great place to work with super nice people whom I feel like have become a big part of my life in such a small period of time

I very much doubt I’ll ever find a company like this again with such a relaxing atmosphere but I have to think about myself and my career ..

I’m especially incredibly sad about leaving one of my colleagues as he has become one of my best friends these past few months..

Let’s just hope I made the right decision ..

deadmau5 just released the Polar soundtrack. So far, it's very good. But there's a song called main. And you know, damn well, that I listened to that one first.

I was getting a segmentation fault and was very confused and had no idea why and the first thing I changed fixed it totally so that was great

I just got offered my first position for a Junior developer gig. they are offering me more money than I expected and otherwise I'm super amped to take it.

what makes me nervous is its my first programming position. I have an IT/Programming bachelor's but not a pure Computer Science degree.

I was asked no technical questions and I don't know if it was clear that I'm very much looking for entry-level work. I guess the fear of failure is creeping up on me.

Wishing all the developers out there a very happy and prosperous new year. May your code always compile on the first try and your age gets incremented without bugs.

Two of them, both are not very extrem.
Positive one first:

Meetings were usually not dead serious (unless there was a problem), everyone just joked around a little, made their actual points and got back to work.

Now the other one:
A client's QA staff commented "this bug is still occuring" on 5 tickets, without checking if they ever deployed the new release candidate.
They didn't deploy the new RC, so of course, the bugs couldn't have been fixed on their side.

Just received a job résumé for a software engineer position. The very first skill listed:

MS Word.

Six months ago I got hired for the first time in a company.

Before that, I thought that I was somewhat able to do programming.

A few weeks in, and I realized that I know shit.

Luckily, my colleagues are very patient and very skilled. I have learnt a lot more in this six months than years of self teaching.

Anyone like me?

The devs I work with. One more so than the other, but seeing as this is my first dev job, and I have no formal training, they've been my mentors. Yeah, we disagree and argue - but they're bloody good quality, and I'm very lucky to be learning from them.

So this is less of a rant and more of a "I'm very excited" post

For the past 8 months I have been working on a redesign of a magazines Wordpress website. I could've completed this site but I wanted every detail to be perfect. I was the only developer / designer working on this project

Now after 8 months, WE WILL BE LAUNCHING THE REDESIGN FOR THE FIRST TIME NEXT WEEK!!!!!!! EVERYONE LOVES THE REDESIGN AND THIS IS THE FIRST MAJOR REDESIGN FOR THIS COMPANY EVER SINCE THEY LAUNCHED A WEBSITE 8 YEARS AGO!

I finally got a job at a tech company (although it's not a tech job) with a very good work/life balance.

Therefore, I plan on getting more serious about properly learning how to program in my spare time, also because, being a tech company, programmers are all over the place and are generally willing to talk about code.

I must say that while job hunting, devRant has been very useful to me since it allowed me to understand what kind of environment I'd like to work in. So far, the first few weeks of work have been great.

Ah, and the view from the office is unbeatable.

Took client's site live and enthusiastically encouraged them to write original content...

Very first page published was literally a slash and paste of an entire wikipedia entry with inline links still in the text.

First thing on Monday. The very first thing.

I fucking killed prod.

Reminder to my future self to either stash local config files and .htaccess files... or add them to gitignore... But either way, don't leave them lying around assuming I won't do something dumb and accidentally commit them. Because some fateful Monday morning before I've had my coffee I'm going to do something dumb.

First comment by the architects that were reviewing my test, as part of the selection process:

"Well the code was very well documented, not something we see much of..."

Made my day :)

Heading to japan on the 12th, my first solo trip ever. I always wanted to visit it, but now because of my developer paycheck and me being annoyed because no one ever has the money and/or time I am heading there alone.

I think it will be a very enriching experience. I always felt like I'm often dependent on others so I am trying to take more steps to improve that.

When your vacation starts but the very first thing you do is getting sick :/

Some have good teachers and do some good work.

The main problem for me is their false promises. There is no scarcity of junior developers. None.

Anyone can be a programmer doesn't mean that everyone can be a good one.

The first 2-3 years will be very complicated.

User: This web page form is too hard to use and is prone to have wrong data filled out.

Me: Uh...ok. Here is a redesign. You literally fill out one text field and a date picker.

User: Oh this is great, thanks.

*checks the database and the very first entry they created had the wrong date.*

Fuck me.

After 3 interviews with test:
"Ok very good, I see you are good with JavaScript, Php, MySQL and some frameworks, it's exactly what we need because we use only on the edge technologies and we do very cool products."
"Thanks, so what about the first app?"
"App? oh no eheh, now you must manage our 12 wordpress sites and edit the CSS!"
"Very good, so while I see you all goin to fuck monkeys I with to you a nice day"

For the very first time, I uploaded my Gem on Rubygems. Open source time ! Yolooooo !

I'm on windows 10 and I want to access the sound settings window to disable a speaker. I press the win key and as I start typing "sound" the first result that pops up is "voice" settings. So accurate. Thanks Cortana, very cool!

Today marks the first day i needed to use a fork of a Github repo, because it just didn't contain a very basic feature i needed. The PR which fixes it has been open for months without a comment on why it's not merged.

I mean i'm glad i found a solution at the end, but goddamn it's so sad when a popular repo is not maintained well.

Hi from Guatemala! I am new to devRant, now it's a must read every day, so much fun! I just landed my first job and I am very nervous/happy. My part of the job is to make the frontend using Flutter, I have some experience on Android but I feel it's very different. Lets see how it goes!

I just finished upgrading a dotnet core 2.2 WebApi + Console App to dotnet core 3.1 and it was a very smooth process with very minor changes to my code.

Not a rant, just posting because it is the first nice thing that has happened for me in a while now.

So I got my first computer with all those games, and as I was exploring those games' files I found those HTML-based help files and FAQs for those games, it looked just like the Internet to me with all the links and what not. Especially that I didn't have Internet access at the time. So I wanted to build "my own Internet". Therefore I started hacking on those files by looking into their source code. And that was the very first time I learn to code. Learning HTML.
The video games on that computer were cool tho :3

I made my very first pull request to a project of public interest.
It's just a paragraph in the React docs, but still.
I feel like a useful person.

Finally, finally, finally! My very first app with React Native is up and running. I know the hard part comes now, but I'm so incredibly happy, considering that I didn't even think I would start developing an app until two weeks ago, let alone learning React...

Today i had my first video conference in English, and i was very nervous and excited at the same time.

I think i were able to communicate my ideas really well, because the other person just asked me 2 times to repeat what i said.

I'm proud of myself (and all the video games, series and tutorials that helped me reach this level of understanding english)

when you're at a job interview, the interviewer shows you some code to give you a taste and the first thing that comes to mind is, "how long is it gonna take to refactor and is it worth it..."

then proceeds on to show a database diagram and its an unholy cluttered spaghetti soup that even a purple octopus would feel a cold shiver from..

then the interviewer mentions the previous dev left suddenly and the deadline is very soon(TM?)..

The cultural fit round. The very first round. Got rejected multiple interviews because of failing this round

Started working as a developer about 2 months ago and on the first day of of work I was tought how to make coffee.

I couldn't understand why is coffee so important to the everyone in the company. I didn't drink the coffee for the first 2 week.

Now after many sleepless nights spent coding i then realise why the people worship the drink so much.

People get very pissed when they go to coffee machine and find that there is no coffee then the last person to have a cup is going to be shouted at and at times even get insulted.

Now coffee is my fuel and cant do much without it.

I'm about to quit my job this week to start my own software company... I have a meeting this friday with the first potential-client and I feel very anxious about it. I also feel scary because if this doesn't work probably I will stay unemployed with a 30K debt because of my Mac

Scary but anxious... Feel pretty excited, wish me luck guys!

That moment when you take the time to explain the idea of camelCase variable naming as opposed to the Underscores to this hot new girl at the the office and she comes back to you showing off her handy work and you notice how her very first variable is named camelToe

> Be me
> Using another country's public transit system for the first time
> QR reader can't read my bus ticket
> Ask the bus driver about it

"Sir, can I check myself in here?"
"Very high-tech system, isn't it?"
"Sir, I'm a programmer..."
"Shitty system then? Maybe you could fix it?"
(thinking: you're not paying me for this you bastard, and if you want me to get a manual for this piece of shit to repair what should've worked in the first place, you're sorely mistaken...)
"Probably I'm the kind of person who would... Anyway the ticket is valid."
I didn't bother checking the ticket afterwards.

All I wanted to do was get on your bus mate 😐

The very first sentence in my profile on many freelancing and networking sites is "I am not looking for a full time job at the moment!" I still get fat to many job offers from recruiters, who apparently cannot read.

*My first internship*

Me: Hey, I'm unable to fix this issue with the interface.

Tech Lead: *Goes on giving me a lecture from the very basics* So, An Interface has the method declaration but not the.....

Me inside: I FUCKING KNOW WHAT AN INTERFACE IS JUST TELL ME HOW DO I FIX THIS FUCKING ISSUE.

Me outside: Right!

I love how odd very intelligent things can (seem to) be. Cryptography is incredibly complex, and the reason the computer was created in the first place. But that doesn't stop them from being all

"Heyyyy, y'all got any of them P R I M E N U M B E R S? We like em BIG, we'll paaaaay"

- - Hey buddy, can you create a simple App for me to publish on the Play store?
- let me see first what features you need
- - **Spending 20 minutes talking about so many features and out of the box design**
- that's it?
- - yes that is it, it's​very simple I know it !
- so you think it's​ simple huh? so fo it yourself !...

Always check the licence when you include a new library.

Very nearly GPLed a large amount of commercial code by not checking this in one of my first projects out of uni.

Luckily someone else noticed and the library in question turned out to be dual licensed so it turned out ok in the end.

Project: pool cleaner.
Hey guys. So here's the story I mounted my pool one month ago in a very hot day, but the weather is getting freakyer with each year and this was the first sunny day.
But I fill my pool with water from a well. Chlor takes care of bacteria but the damn algy are a problem.

First part: pump the shit out.

First test: not working properly.
- Reason? Buie keeps the dirt from reaching the motor;
- Hazardous: motor must be always under water
- Main problem. Pump is ment to sink in the bottom and pull water out, so only has one exit, the entry goes directly to the engine.
Workable? Turned a snail into fine dust, needs a hose with a buie that goes directly to the motor.
Just having fun... I would be in the pool if I had cleaned it last week

Not dev but I need to get it off my chest, first day back from holiday and I'm already stressed.

Today my company's travel agency made a mistake in my first name when booking me a flight. Once I received the itinerary and noticed the mistake I sent an email telling them and politely asking to have it fixed. They said they'd sort it out urgently.

~4 hours later

They changed my *last name* and now both first and last names are spelled incorrectly..

Seriously, how incompetent does one have to be to mess the very thing they were told to double check.

Hey guys, Today I created my first action on google assistant an it got deployed. I'm very happy and also I got the mail for the shirt. With 2 months I'll get it. I'm trying to make the action run in English and Hindi (Nation language of India) so that I can earn google home.

Hey guys, I don't want to shock you, but I just found out something very important that nobody of you knows:
WPA2 is broken.

Now thank me and give me plusses for I am the first and only one to have given you this important piece of information.

Fuck

I have my first ever PRESENTATION ever tomorrow

And there will be at least 40 people shit.......

I have to explain the program logic in a very easy way, which is a pain for me.

Any cheers for me?

University, first Java practical lesson.

I'm sitting near this guy, clearly hyped up because he managed to install his first linux distro earlier.

After 5 minutes he asks me how to do the task the Professor assigned that morning.

I'm playing dumbass in my head, thinking stuff like "oh big boy installed ubuntu but can't declare a fucking Rectangle class in java lol" (what a dickhead).

I helped him, and then proposed to go out for a quick smoke.

Turns out we're very similar, hyped as hell with linux (like I was at the time), with same CS interests. Still texting sometimes.

I don’t remember the first experience as I was a very small child, but I remember a very defining one: picture a 4yo just casually turning on the computer and playing a game.
My mother and sister find me out and panic because “oh no, turning it off it’s hard how will we do? Your father is working and can’t turn it off!”

Now picture the 4 yo saying “it’s easy, you just do this”, followed by him closing the game, launching the bash command to close the computer and going away.

I must have been so creepy in their eyes 😂

When the code runs perfectly on the very first hit.

Who remembers this guy??

To visible 'developer options' is the very first thing i did when i got new smart phone.

I'm still on my first job. Started on November , 2015. I am a system analyst for the government. Love it very much. I work with great and fun people and my boss is badass. And besides all that, I get paid relatively well for someone with my level of experience. Really can't complain.

In 2017 I learned a lot of new things and I’m very happy with the progress I’ve made. I think 2018 will be even better! I’m busy developing my own hosting platform and it’s been an hell of a ride. Hopefully I can get it in beta in the first months of 2018. Wishing you all the best for 2018!

I've been interested in security for years but despite knowing the theory I've always had this disconnect with actually doing it, about two years ago I finally managed to find and exploit my first cross-site scripting vulnerability in my companies Product whilst doing some routine acceptance testing. It was a penny drop moment for me which has led to some very interesting projects and It was pretty badass.

In the first two years at my school, I'm gonna do much stuff in the programming lessons that I already know. That's going to be boring. Very boring.

Do you know guys why a programming bug is called so? It's because the very first time a software crashed it was because of a bug ( a real bug stuck in a bus on the machine!) That caused that 😂 imagine if something else was stuck instead! Like someone's​finger : hey I fixed that finger but still got 2 critical fingers and 4 small ones

What's the very first thing you usually do when you notice your browser tell you that there is no connection?

Be sincerely (+_+)

My most successful project is unsurprisingly the first and only project I ever made public. It's a very simple TweetDeck wrapper based on Electron. It was featured on some tech site and as far as I can tell quite some people actually use it. Feels kind of nice even though I'm anxious about people hating it.

It's a brand new year - and my first email comes in telling me the app is broken because they didn't receive any push notification (....no push notification was sent from them), the web cams don't work (....they've changed all the links to the webcams and now they're surprised it doesn't work in the app) and the app isn't available in France (the app is literally available in France).
Oh and if a user changes their font sizes in their mobile settings, it doesn't always look "very good" in the app.......

Jeez maybe it's just me, not a very smart user, but after at least 6 years with iPhone5, just before changing it, I discovered how to raise the volume without logging in the phone first:

I press the home button, Siri show up, and THEN the fucking raise/lower audio buttons are working.

6 years typing the fucking pin just to raise the volume.
6 fucking years missing notifications and calls just because I forgot the fucking volume on the lower tone. Almost lost a girlfriend for that.

Just spent over 5 hours trying to figure out Microsoft’s OneDrive REST api. Basically my first time trying to do POSTs n’ stuff. I got very very close, but the server kept throwing 400 error codes. Eventually I had to give up and ask Stack Overflow. Going to bed now at 2:20am. No worse feeling then not being able to solve a problem you’re dedicated on solving. :/

Build a docker image.
Adds config file .
Build cache ignores new contents.
Hours of trying to figure the shit out.
Bash into it.

GOD DAMN DOCKER HAS CACHED THE VERY FIRST VERSION OF THE FILE.

Hours lost with headcaches and thinking about existence. Fck my life.

"I shall sing that first line twice, and perhaps if I sing it very quickly, I shall find myself singing the third and fourth lines before I have time to think of them, and that will be a Good Song." - Winnie The Pooh

Every work experience so far.

The first one... Internship abroad, very messy codebase, almost no code review.

At the end I was so tired I started watching movies during worktime.

I gotta say, the shirt is very soft at first impression. Plus FREE STICKERS!!!

The duck is nice............ oh meh gurd it sqweaks!!!!! (Follow up on it soon)

Altogether very pleased. :)

*yey*

First exposure to computer?

Back in 2005, I think. Windows PC, I think. The rest is very blur.

All I can remember is it was white and monitor was big like a television. First ever computer of our family. No internet. No game except solatire and craps. Mainly just used it for porn-purpose. Did some programming assignments. Did some poems writing and then printed them out with all-in-1 printer and tried to sell the booklet to girls in public. (Obviously sold zero).

Everyone has a great story about writing their first line of code when they were under 15 years old, except for me. I got my first computer at a young age, around 11, thanks to my dad's friend who brought the computer along with some CD-ROMs of Tom and Jerry and GTA Vice City. (By the way, I had to wait ages for the game to load, and I was very happy when it finally did.) I spent my childhood playing games. You guys are lucky to have found someone who encouraged you to learn to code. I didn't have internet at that time

!rant

I just did a thing. Signed the contract for buying my very first apartment at age 21. So fucking stocked, and feel bad for my wallet

How was the first month of the first job for you guys? I just completed a month and i am still very confused.

For the very First time, I am gonna take my Environmental Science exam Online.
Writing the effects of deforestation and how to protect trees and how people doing bullshit to forests, blah blah...in the paper actually made me guilt.

Thanks #lockdown for some of the positive changes.

Got a new job at a fairly large IT firm which deals with large scale business software for customers like the government's various agencies.

The very first job I'm assigned to: we have to strip down this software and make it more general, go ahead and delete everything related to <feature>.

I haven't had time to get to know the product and I've deleted hundreds of files and lines of code from related files...

I have a feeling this will bite me somehow

Google wanted to be politically correct and gave faces different colors. But apparently using "black" or "asian" is a shame too so all of these emojies have same name.

This decision was very poor as it's hard to implement this duplicity in frontend so as always Devs choose easiest choice - just use the first one. And first one is always yellow...

Congrats on making whole lazy Dev world using your "correct" emojies enforcing only one face style.

I was working yesterday, writing a calculus with sql.
My very great user explained to me the math in Excel. I first though to myself, piece of cake, i got it.
Then I started typing and at the end of the day i had 6 temp tables which at some point need to join with themselves. It was just hilarious. each table had at least 4 millions rows.

Then I started a new query just for validating the output of me very ugly previous queries.
And I fucking found a easier way to get the same output with 3 joins of 3 different tables and a count at the end.

When you love yourself. but hate yourself at the same time.

xD it was a very productive Friday night

Hey Bad-practice, i see you’re looking for a new job? Are you interested in working in the main capital only 60km away?

Yeah sure, here are my contact details.

Ok great! Expect an invitation for somewhere next week.

Two days later i receive an email from their HR manager, who wasn’t even able to spell their own company name correctly... Asking again my phone number that i already gave to the first contact.

Impression so far? Very mediocore.

I still have the best boss. He's very open-minded and lets me do my job without much interference.
But if I have to collaborate with him in one more project, I go take a peaceful drown in a bucket of sewage!
He codes like a first semester CS student.

My parents have a very good grasp of what I do.

The first computer I got to try was one of the educational computers used for courses arranged by the company my mother worked for and my father studied programming before me ;)

I conducted my first "technical" interview today. Let's just say the chap needs to brush up on his terminology...

Q: What's a class and an object? And what's the difference between each?
A: Ummm... Errr... The one holds static information and the other can change its values.

OK, in his defence, he was nervous and English isn't his first language either, but then brush up on your terminology at the very least so that you can speak the lingo when asked questions about programming.

Did my first meaningful work in angular in many moons at work today - also apparently the first time I've touched it in 4 major version releases lol.

I typically find myself specializing in API and service architecture lately, so I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly I got back into the swing of things with the front end in general. Granted the app itself has been very neatly organised and written which goes a very long way to helping one find their way quickly.

That said, I really can't admit to having any desire to stay working in angular for very long. Yes, I think it speaks well to the framework itself that I can pick up immediately going from version 8 to 12 without any issue, but also, I think angular kinda sucks ass*.

* Opinion should be taken with a grain of salt coming from a .NET dev. This does not reflect the views of .NET or other devs in general. User results may vary.

I too got my $1 unix sticker pack (thank you very much whoever posted this by the way) and thought posting a picture of them would be redundant
First thing when I brought them to work to show them or to my colleagues I stepped out of my car and they all fell to the soaking wet ground (it was pouring down at the time)
Luckily they're of very high quality and still intact 😊

I met this guy on my very first job. An internship. He was an intern too. We were doing Java and he was a brilliant programmer. We would try to finish the job as quickly as possible then stay back late to play 1v1 CS. (Yes on company LAN). We worked together for only 2 months. We are still in touch. Right now helping him with SOP for his master's thesis.

When someone (and this is typically someone non-dev and not a very structured person) says "Can I ask you a question" and, upon an affirmative answer to that, fires away a whole bunch of questions without waiting for an answer to the first of the questions.

Pleeeease! If you expect an answer, ask me one. question. at. a. time. Or write a freaking e-mail.

We had a project with a web app and an Android app. We split it out, he took the web and I was working on Android. He was very curious to do the project with me and very motivated at the beginning. We agreed on our first module that was user authentication. After some time when I told him that first module of app is ready and asked him on his progress, (When ever we had a talk he pretend like every thing is going fluently, though I continously told him ask for help if needed ) he opened a folder in vs code containing two files "index.html" and "style.css" and showed me the "login & sign up" design he was doing for days. I have no option but to appreciate his work. On that day I created new folder on my machine "web application" and started working.

Front end web development :

In 7 the standard : HTML
In First semester : HTML , CSS , BOOTSTRAP
Now : HTML , CSS , BOOTSTRAP , JS , SASS , JSX , REACT , JS libraries and what not . It's seriously very deep .

I find it odd that so many people find CS easy and spend so much time outside while still scoring well. I struggled a lot in my first and second years and finally adjusted to the amount of studying I needed to do in the third, and finally performed well.

I'd like to ask, do most CS people find their bachelor degrees very easy?

Spend nearly a full eight-hour day working on a piece of code that, while not at all trivial, would have taken probably two hours start to finish if not for the constant stream of interruptions bombarding me...

...but then, 10 minutes before quitting time, build and run it for the first time...

...AND IT FREAKING WORKS!

I'm never more scared than when ~1000 lines of code works the very first time it's run. Makes me want to check if I've signed any documents presented as a "deal" by a guy with a fiddle in a southern state :)

I wish I had that self esteem a lot of my classmates posses.
I'm working for my prof, I've kinda made my very first step into the industry. Somewhere deep inside I know I'm talented and smart. However, every day I am worried that I'm not good enough and it will be noticed at the job soon.
Is that common thing in Dev community? Just want to know opinions

Honestly idk but that one chapter from mythical man month, "Plan to Throw One Away", stuck with me:

"Where a new system concept or new technology is used, one has to build a system to throw away, for even the best planning is not so omniscient as to get it right the first time."

In my current project I've seen this play out, initial development was very prototype-ish and just not well designed but when we got a somewhat decent state we had to continue with it instead of starting again and doing it properly. And now the consequences of that are hitting, progress for new features is incredibly slow, the software is very error prone, a bunch of dead code all around, ...

Cracked my first weak RSA implementation challenge today. Feels pretty awesome.

Involved primes that were very close, which means you can factorize the modulus quickly to get the private key. Normally, you would never use close primes as prime factorization's difficulty relies a certain amount on some distance between the two values.

The reason you can brute force close primes has to do with them being close in value to the square root of the function, meaning that you can search far quicker than if you were to try every combination of primes.

Fuck yeah!
Had my first job interview ever today!
Not gonna say it was very good but it definitely wasn't the worst!

Let's see if I get a happy reply!

As I mentioned in previous rants
The company that I work for is very loud and noisy, making it really hard to code.

First day in new office, bigger space in the same building....PEOPLE HAVE COMPLAINED ABOUT THE NOISE AND LOUDNESS

FIRST. DAY.

Sorry guys, I have complained too they dont care.

I was just in the attic to look for some old school stuff for my sister. But then I found an old carton with old stuff from me. In there I found my very first programming book. "AntMe!" to learn Visual Basic with ants 😄

How do you deal with people who are being rude to you on your very first meeting for no reason?
I am a peacelover, why do I always get stuck with the likes of these???!!!!

I always hate how I get a great idea for an app/game, and then I open up the play store and a very similar thing is on the first page.

So related to my very first rant, after two months on the new job, I got the whole team together (including my boss) and taught them how version controlling works!

Today I had my first app preview. It went really well, although not all the functionalities worked as expected, the product owner was very pleased!

Perfect start of this week!

My very first time was when I first saw a Web page, I really wanted to know how they did it. Two weeks later I built an intranet at home and I thought I was so cool I was shitting out ice cubes.

The very first programme I ever wrote was a secret diary application(C#) for myself I thought it was really secure because I had my own file extension. Not one of my finer moments.

Entering the computer lab for the first time in my life when I was in class 3. Each computer was assigned to 3 children (I know). We saw and played perhaps the most awesome game ever made;

Will never forget those 30 minutes of my life. (although I lost all my lives on the very first level)

Want to know again how it felt like when programming for the first time? Learn Prolog, it fucking twists your brain inside out. It's pretty cool tho, very very challenging.

Either a very tired dev or a really really critical bug fix whose details cannot be revealed

I'll choose the first

I was really bad in physics and we had energy, force and all that stuff, when I got to C, my very first programming language. I learned the formulas by writing a program calculating all the stuff we learned about in school.:D

Back then I didn't have a computer and wrote the code on paper before actually compiling it at my moms computer.

I had a coding interview with Amazon. I had to implement a depth-first search algorithm with no prior experience while 2 devs watched me code on a collaborative IDE. To make it worse, the connection was terrible on the conference call and one of the interviewers had a very thick accent. I barely understood what they wanted me to do until I typed out:

Breadth-first search || Depth-first search?
// Sorry, phone keeps cutting off and I can barely hear you

Yeah, I didn't make it to the next round. :(

I was always a bit confused by the naming schemes in official python libraries. So I decided to lookup the official naming conventions, according to PEP 8. Lo and behold, the very first sentence:

> The naming conventions of Python’s library are a bit of a mess [...]

In a hackathon, my team decided to work on a Android app as a challenge to ourselves. It was our first Android app development and we were very excited at first. But after awhile, one of my teammate (the usual problematic one) gives up implementing the recyclerview after few hours of struggling, and decided to 'fk it' and watch YouTube linustech. As such, I have to takeover and implemented it within an hour by just googling and following some tutsplus tutorial. What do you do with this kind of teammate?

I don't understand why people drive with high beam on, even when it's not needed!
Is it only in India or anywhere else too?

Literally, I'm so frustrated with this shit.

This point should be the very first and most important in the list of the learning driving.

So it's 2018, I thought let's start working with Android Studio on Ubuntu. [Due to some guy who posted his CPU usage on a very heated rant of same issue]
I realized it's fucking mess(/shit) and you dare not keep any browser open in back/fore-ground. Now, my entire system is stuck.
Ruined the first day man.

For the first time in a very long time, I am out of a software engineering job. I have no idea why I am handling this so well. I literally have no idea if I will get another job or not but for this month, I am working on myself and learning more on FP which is really fun btw. Is this maturity?

this is a very Stupid idea so i wont put it to the dssue tracker. but. how about enabling people to host their own devRant servers with their very own rules? this way, the main server will have a bit more breathing room and common interests could have a shared server.

the client Would have the current buttons + empty buttons that can be given a special function from server side.

also, it would be possible to view rants from multiple servers (color coded so theres no mixup in button functions) in one feed.

the client would come with the main server on first start up. the most popular servers would be listed in the settings. also, rants with 50++ would automatically be put into the main server.

My first exposure to computers?

My father had bought this new machine (windows 98 "new" of course) and we put it in a very moist place (some kind of halfway balcony) in our old flat.

...which was pretty stupid.
One day it made a loud nois, started smoking and stopped responding.

I loved the animated paperclip though!

Registered for hackathon with 2 Android dev and 2 Full stack dev. Turns out the theme for hackathon is totally out of our scope. This will be my very first hackathon.
Any advice, roadmap, suggestions for the problem statement?

Today I completed my first user story as a developer, an feature to edit and update comments posted. It passed the test too.

I'm proud of myself about the achieving this given my actually development experience is very minimal :)

More challenges to conquer..

Thanks

Im currently doing my first project as a junior dev. I'm working with asp.net core and I had only used regular asp.net before. The project owner who was the guy that used to own the company I work for had only asked me if i was versed in asp.net and said that it was what I was going to work with. So from the start I'm a little bumed out. The difference isn't enourmous, but still.

First day, he says that we are going to use TFS for version handling (god damnit) then he says he has started a bit and has done the first push... And we're missing files. But he's asleep by the time i do the pull (9 hour timezone difference).

Next day he has gotten all the files up and I also get to know that I will be working alone and still have to use TFS.

A few days later he tells me I'm gonna present the first version the next week...

Oh, and did I mention that this is for one of the biggest companies in the world that the very top managers will use. Including CEO, cto etc

Have 1 urgent, 2 very urgent and 1 super very urgent task at the same time, and 3 man arguing in the back of my chair which one should I do first.

Me: waiting and working the some little cosmetic for the next sprint

I use to work with a lot of people from all around the world, so i can say from the very first meeting if you are a good dev or not, and darn ! i hate the self confident devs who think they are the best, especially when they are junior !
I want to tell them : WAKE UP ! YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE IN THE WORLD !!

I was very confused today when I used openxml sdk to create an excel workbook and excel didn't bark at me the first time I opened it about repairing the file.

!Rant

Just had a very productive night with @hahaha1234 and @jappe. Revisited a lot of code, made it simpler, faster, storage efficient and future proof. Our smart search engine is getting somewhere now. Tomorow we will be continue building ofcourse, but first: time to sleep! It is 3:45AM and after that, go running on the beach in Zandvoort.

More and more getting myself caught thinking about the code more than writing it. I mean I draft it, it is usually very shitty at the first moment, and insted of refinifng and adding spaces to moments I just sit think, write some ideas in my notebook, search on Stack overflow, listen to the music, and wait until the code talks to me.

I know it sounds like some hippie shit, but it actually happens and really solves the problem.

Anyone has the same thing?

Reading all your rants I'm glad my parents always supported me. They even helped to pick a good university and paid my dormroom all 6 semesters. I'm the first in the whole family who got a degree at university and I think they are very proud I have a stable job and a good income.
Though I doubt they know how rare (good) programmers are here and how much job offers I'm getting each week 😄

I start reading about it, from their website, forums, blogs, etc.
Next thing I usually do is to take a look at stuff made of that tech and mess around to see what it looks like.
Then I pick a book about the subject, set up the basics and start from the very beginning, even if the prologue starts with "programming is..."
At some point I start to connect concepts previously seen in the first step with the chapter I'm in, or even identify elements discovered in the second step.
Works for me.

So ok, today was a crazy day.
New sprint, new ticket.
Work on the bug tickets first he said ….

Sure can. Oh had I just known that this very first innocent looking ticket is the way to coder‘s hell ….

‚Access of undefined‘ it said. Easy to fix, I thought.
Until I found the very same code twenty-fucking-two times over about 50 files!

Who would guess that exportSingleOperatorBooking, exportSeveralOperatorBookings, exportAllOperatorBookings (… and more) could in practically be the same? Nah, they all use different interfaces.
Oh wait, the alias type of the extended sub-interface of file misc.ts is the same logical content as a differently named interface below another different interface with the same content as in another ts file?
Wait that can‘t be. Riiiiight?? 😳

8h later I have barely scratched the surface of refactoring this shitshow of a project.
But no, I refuse to put the same error handling multiple times in different places.
I could have been done already. I could have saved my soul, my sanity. But I will be brave and strong to save the innocent developer that will cometh after me. For I shall be rewardeth for my sacrifice.
Amen.

Went to college for 4 years learned very basics of everything. Started first job and just learned by doing, thank God for the Internet you can learn everything else you need from there.

In high school I absolutely hated business and science subjects(phy, chem, bio) as well.
Not to forget fucking maths. Calculas and all that shit I never paid attention to.
I chose CS hoping it would rid me of maths.
Fell in love with programming the very first semester.
Now I'm in my last semester and a freelance Web Dev.

Started learning Android development in Kotlin.
My first impressions:
- Kotlin is good, but class syntax is not very appealing
- Overall it seems to be quite easy, at least the basic stuff
- Android Studio is a fucking memory hog, RIP my RAM
- As good IntelliJ is as bad is Android Studio somehow
- Emulator seems to be really advanced which I like

Today is the first time in my life that I've received an all-caps corporate email from some team running ops.
Funny how someone thought this might make it clearer when all acronyms in our company are all-caps, making it a very intensive read which does everything except bring the important point forward..

A very frequent topic for rants I see is the slowness and high resource utilization of Android Studio. My first thought whenever I see these rants is, "why not just use a normal IDE or a text editor?" Is Android Studio a hard requirement? Will no other software allow you to edit Java code and assemble it into a usable apk?