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Today while i was working on my web project, suddenly my boss put his hands in my pants, jerked me off and then i continued my work like nothing ever happened.
Being your own boss has its own advantages ;)12 -
When @dfox and @trogus scroll through their devRant feeds, is it considered slacking off at work, or properly debugging their software..? 🤔10
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If you're going to ask for my help
... and then do the opposite of everything i say
... and then complain when things don't work
... and continue to ignore everything i say
HOW ABOUT YOU JUST FUCK OFF8 -
Aardwolf is very fun and i suggest y'all play it a bit if you're looking for better ways to slack off at work
$ telnet aardwolf.org 4000
*port 23 also works
23 -
Me: arrives in office plugin laptop
Laptop: ok let's a start windows
Windows: hello, welcome back!
Me: opens Android Studio, VS code, Nativescript Sidekick ... Continue work where I took off before Christmas
Windows: lets reboot this bitch!
Laptop: Oh lord!
Me:
17 -
When you get a day off and you want to work on a personal project, but your spouse has other plans.
8 -
For all you guys struggling at school or work. You're doing great fam. Just hang in there and do your best. Hardwork always pays off.
7 -
Just made a laser sentry tower for my cats. Next up is adding some tracking so it can play with them by itself while I'm at work and after that I'm adding a Wi-Fi module and camera so that i can also play with them while I'm at work... I couldn't resist using a mouse to top it off 😂
17 -
That moment at work when we've had no calls for an hour and suddenly the phone goes off
*TRINGGGGGGGG*
*suddenly you have a few Linux support engineers with a mini heart attack*
😅7 -
To my ex manager
you left to berlin, and left me to rot
my new lead sucks, i kid you not
it was ok if I slacked off, You used to be chill
But my new lead is uptight, he's on my list to kill
I wanna run errands in work hours, is that so bad?
was doing so for years, now i lost what i had
I cant drive in peace, coz i know he'd call
so i had to cancel plans to go to the mall
its like 10 to 6 is now constant work
I hate my new lead, he is such a jerk17 -
When on monday, a client asks you "WHY SOMETHING ISN'T FINISHED". Well, we don't work on weekends. Fuck off.3
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When you work too late and can't mentally switch off so you just start the next day without any sleep
5 -
So this morning my girlfriend just woke up and pressed the hue "lights off" button over and over again and yelled: "The fuckin light switch does not work". Then she realized, that the light comes from the sun.1
-
Getting paid for my work.
Just because I'm a student, people assume I'll do everything for free and "exposure", while they make money off of my code8 -
You all, something is wrong. No one has pissed me off at work recently (other than boss, but he does that by existing). I'm not sure if they've all learned, or if shit is about to hit the fan.10
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Dear son: when I ask you to stop using Netflix because I need all the network juice for a work-related call, please do close it or play a downloaded movie. Don't just turn the volume off...4
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When you push to Github Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday only, work a Sunday but then take that day off a few weeks later
2 -
The trend of referring to staff you just laid off as “alumni” is fucking stupid.
So is emailing and asking said recently laid off staff to join an “alumni committee” that involves, among other things: going to off sites and community events that the company will almost CERTAINLY be using for recruiting photos and “Best place to work” blog posts.
Just send me my final pay and fuck off already.5 -
!rant
It's Friday and my boss let us off work early...
So imma just chill and try to catch the sun
5 -
I take 1 day off from work, i come back finding my chair replaced by a junky one... I mean really??? f*ck this!17
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"We are expecting you to start working asap..and complete the frontend (of a webapp that's expected to take 2 months to develop) in 2 weeks "
" So do I expect to get paid X amount for this ?"
" Let's make that X/2"
Fuck off you dipshits.. You expect quality work and fast work ..then get ready to pay at least by market standards.5 -
*suddenly wakes up thinking I'm late for work*
*Realises it's a holiday*
*Goes back to sleep again*
PS: Sadly this happens every other day of week :/2 -
Boss: don't worry about the architecture, it's an one-off project, just make it work...
2 months later...
Boss: hey, remember that one-off project? we need to add in a few more features... Also can we reuse that code for this new one-off project we have to do for this new client?3 -
!rant
There are some extremely competent, blind developers where I work. They have a tool that read screen elements out loud to them.
At first it was chocking to see they work with the screen off. It makes total sense though, however this thought never crossed my mind before. Their headphones serve as screen to them, which is pretty cool.9 -
up at 11:30pm finishing some work when fire alarm goes off.... waited to see if my tests passed before leaving3
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Coworker: There's clearly a bug here, this thing just says OFF and doesn't work!
Me: Well, did you try switching it to ON?
Coworker: OH SHIT that fixed it!3 -
If anyone at your work pisses you off that isnt a dev. Slowly begin automating their tasks and soon that position wont exist!2
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Manager: You know you really shouldn’t pay off your mortgage faster than you absolutely have to. It’s the cheapest money you’ll ever get!
Dev: I’d rather work towards being debt free. Besides my RRSP (401k) is already maxed out
Manager: RRSPs are a scam! TFSAs (Roth IRAs) are way better
Dev: My TFSA is maxed out too
Manager: 😡 You still shouldn’t pay off your mortgage!
Dev: …16 -
I was in my way back from work when this guy speeds off the on-ramp onto the highway and almost hits me.
I suppose you could say that it was a pretty serious merge conflict...1 -
Installed an SSD in my Linux box. Installed fresh distro, tried to log in via SSH on localhost. Didn't work. Tried like three times, turned off firewalls, restarted ssh servers, nothing.
Looked at username. Typo in username when setting things up. *facepalm*1 -
Cool, I found a bug in Ruby!
And it’s preventing my debugging from working!
Asjfkladfsj
It’s 2:30am and I want to finish this crap.
No, I’m not doing any work tomorrow. I’m taking the day off to sleep.15 -
Been off work for the last 2 weeks, got a text yesterday and apparently everything was manic. Kind of nice to know everything falls apart when I'm not there ;)3
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How does taking a day off turn into working from home, every single time?
Workaholics anonymous anyone?6 -
That one cunt who keeps turning the air con off because he came to work in shorts and sandals and now he feels cold.
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!rant
I got a promotion at work!
Is it weird that I don't want it because I still feel like I have too much to learn to no longer be a "junior"? I'm happy that my hard work is paying off but I'm worried that this is how bad senior devs are made.7 -
Missing the first entry date for university was probably the best thing that happened to me.
Got to work full time and show off my expertise in "reallife scenarios" for nearly a year.
Best experience i could've made until now. -
Company is laying me off in less than a month. Thousands of others as well. Our whole department is going away but not the work. Yet I still have to meet a deadline that is just days before they stop paying me. My motivation to do this work is in the toilet.11
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flailing startup layed off my entire team without warning...
...and no one asked us how our custom tools work or how we performed our business-critical tasks. #goodLuck10 -
I just gave a successful demo to the CEO and CTO of a company I'm doing some contract work for. The questions they were asking led to me going off script, luckily it all worked!
2 -
3 weeks off work - complete.
1st day back - in progress
Shit storm flurry awaiting my arrival - bring it on!1 -
When you sit down to work on a project and you just can't figure it out. Next thing you know it's 3am, so you clamber into bed. Nodding off, nice and cosy when suddenly: What's that brain? You've figured it out?1
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Got my first offer for a developer position and I start in a month. A lot of hard work has finally paid off and I can't wait to start. Any words of advice or wisdom?15
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So, my plans:
Life
* to have my firstborn child and do my best as a father
* to pay off ~half of my 5yr lease (my brand new car arrived at the dealer yesterday, I will be picking it up within 2 weeks, yay!)
* not to die from starvation while paying it off
Work:
* to become more comfortable and fluent in my current position to reduce stress and save time for personal goals (learning another language / technology so that I'm not a prisoner of the field I'm good at)
Hobby:
* to publish my first Android game (or at least be close)
* to make indie game development my hobby, a way to vent off after work and hopefully a source of additional income
* learn to draw just a little (for my game dev)5 -
I just remembered I had changed my system settings from 'lock after 5 mins of inactivity' to 'lock never' (during an installation)
But I can't remember if I actually logged off after work! Dammit.5 -
Come in to work to find my PC is off, power cut in the night. Now I need to reload everything.
#DeveloperProblems4 -
Why do so many companies think that frontend work can be stuffed at the end of the product development right before a release is expected.
And to top it off, expect all things to be working, smooth, animating, responsive, crisp, fast with 100 fucking lighthouse score.
🖕 To everyone who thinks frontend work is meh!, Not real programming and similar. Fuck you!7 -
Who remembers time when you actually had to press power button in order to turn your computer off?
Seen some YouTube video the other day with kids nowadays told to work on an old computer with I think win95 and no one figured out what the cryptic "You can now turn your computer off" meant :-)2 -
The only documented case that “have you tried turning it off and in again” is confirmed not to work
8 -
I've been so pissed off so many times, I thought I should divide them into categories.
- Pissed off at a fellow dev: I told him to use a constant instead of a hardcoded number.
He changed this: obj.method(3);
to this:
public static final int three = 3;
obj.method(three);
- Pissed off at management: I once got a $10 yearly raise.
- Pissed off at a client: They rejected our design proposal because the text was in spanish and they didn't speak spanish. It was lorem ipsum text.
- Pissed off at code: I once had to refactor a 500 line legacy jsp script with HTML, CSS, JS and Java completely intertwined.
- Pissed off at Twitter: They changed their API the day of our go-live, breaking all of their widgets, forcing us to move the go-live date and making me work an additional 8 hours after a week with almost no breaks.
- Pissed off at travel and logistics: They sent me to a hotel in Mexico City 2.5 hours away from the client's office.
Fun times...1 -
I currently work 60 hours a week, working two jobs just so I can earn enough money to pay off loans, get better equipment and basically just survive.5
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Sometimes I leave comments to myself at the end of the work week to remember on monday where I left off
Anyone else does this? 🤔11 -
When your work alarm goes off on a Bank Holiday Monday because Apple still dont have a feature to disable alarms on Bank Holidays. Cheers Tim.2
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Manager told all of us to leave at 5 instead of 6:30 because of Christmas.
Then he told us to work from home this Friday and take Monday off cuz Christmas is on a Sunday.4 -
After lots of interviews and waiting and hard work just got something similar to my dream job.
I am so happy. Thanks for all your success rants they gave me the motivation to keep going when it seems there was no hope.
Remember everyone just keep going, keep trying, keep pushing.
Happy ranting.2 -
Don't panic and break up your big problem into smaller problems and solve them in a logical cadence.
Also, when you go home at night...turn off man. If you take your work home with you, you will go mental.1 -
I don't get what people don't understand about how monthly bills work.
"But I already paid you once!"
"Yeah, for the work we did two months ago. This is the bill for the work we did last month."
"... But I already paid you once!"
"Yes, and then you asked us to do more work"
"... ... But I already paid you once! Why are you trying to rip me off!?!"
*sigh*1 -
!rant
Just had the best moment of my career today. Myself and two of my colleagues have been working on this system (firmware, hardware, web app etc) together and after months of hard work we finally saw it all in action.
My colleague turned on a device on the web site and it updated the db, turned on a light on his board and updated the devices state on the site (we use web sockets so it's real time).
I probably haven't did it justice here but it was flipping awesome!1 -
THIS FUCKING RECAPTCHA GEM! WHY THE FUCK MUST I DEBUG YOUR FUCKING PRODUCTION CODE AND WORK AROUND YOUR FUCKING BLUNDERS?
VERY LITTLE PISSES ME OFF MORE THAN SUFFERING FROM SOMEONE ELSE'S FUCKING STUPIDITY5 -
Driving to a family friend after work to check his wifi connection issues.
Turns out that she didn't knew about the hardware switch to turn it on and off again... 😏2 -
WHY THE FUCK DOES AUTOCOMPLETE = "OFF" GET IGNORED 😡😡😡
managed to find a work around for the password field, but god forbid there's one for the username field 👿
I feel like I've tried everything google has to offer1 -
So pleased I've got a week off work, I can just relax without even thinking about development. Ahh bliss.
*Opens Visual Studio ten minutes later*3 -
"Hey, I need a website making.."
FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF.
"I can't believe you're turning away work.."
As if I don't have enough shit to deal with without this douchebag. -
Just arrived in Sydney 2 days ago and reported for work yesterday. I looked at my laptop's clock and it said its 4:40pm. Cool! Another 20 min and I'm off.
I started fiddling around with my machine settings and noticed my Location setting is off. I switched it on. My time is updated to 2:43pm.
MOTHERF****!!!1 -
Partners off at TAFE and I've got 3 hours to kill before walking to work, maccas and writing it is then!
Wish I brought my Mac so I could work on my other projects but oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
11 -
Don't you love having a colleague who is your lead developer and does absolutely nothing all day, looks at online deals 80% of the day and when you spend half an hour amending a friend's wordpress website, decides to tell you off and that you're taking the piss because you spent half an hour doing something other than work... Cheers pal, why don't you get off the deal websites and do some actual work instead of trying to assert power which you clearly aren't qualified for.
Regards.4 -
I know I added a rant to wk65 already, but this is another one.
At my final project at school, I made an app that registered all your medicine, surgeries, appointments and medicine alarms, so it worked as a medical history. It also was able to show on the lock screen, in case of emergency, your allergies and recent but dangerous surgeries.
At the presentation day there were 3 guys, me and two of my colleagues. The first one had a car dealership tracker, really awesome app, which I helped build by teaching him everything I knew about Android, I didn't do any code, I really just taught him. The second guy, he made a pharmacy tracker, to which, again, I helped make without doing MOST code (I helped on obtaining GPS data). First presentation was awesome, second presentation was really boring because the guy was constantly showing the judges that the app could detect when you were offline (really simple to do).
At my presentation, I thought it was horrible, super nervous and I even thought I was trembling.
So, then, the judges spoke, apparently they knew I helped the previous two, they thought I had the best app, they thought I had the best presentation and needless to say, I got 20/20 on the project. One of the judges even said that if I was selling the app, he'd buy it.
The second colleague didn't like that, and I later found out he was focusing so much on that offline stuff because he wanted to show he was better than me, shows that I really need to see who I really should help...
I felt really really badass after that day, because I left the school, and to this day, I had the best app/project and grades that school had seen and given. Even more when the school offered me a scholarship!3 -
If you’re angry at testers for constantly finding bugs and returning your garbage tasks, don’t. Wipe the Cheetos dust off your fingers and keyboard just once and try to write something that will actually work properly.4
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Have a positive mindset. If the work in general sucks, you can almost always find some micro or nano task that you can focus on. Then you find something more fun to work with and switch job. But until then, stay positive and be happy. And use devrant to blow off steam.
-
I've never coded (for work) on vacation. I just turn off my work laptop and my work phone. So I can spend the first week of back to work for going through my email & messages.
I'm not irreplaceable and I work with competent people. (At least that's my goal at work.) -
I took two days off work alongside the weekend for a mini vacation.
I have one full day left but I already miss work :-/4 -
Company: people are not taking holidays, let's have after work party midweek so they have to take a day off.
Employees: (next day after late night party) I'm calling in sick2 -
> "you've been slacking off in development go do some damn work"
> 20 commits since yesterday
> guy isn't even the project owner1 -
I have a neighbor with a really annoying car alarm.
It went off at 2am.
It’s not the first time it’s gone off in the middle of the night (though sometimes it goes off in the middle of my work meetings; variety really is the spice of life).
I can’t go back to sleep once I’ve woken up (doing so, like, always results in getting a migraine).
I am so tired.10 -
talking about work vs life balance, what do you think about The 4 Burners theory?
Imagine that your life is represented by a stove with four burners on it. Each burner symbolizes one major quadrant of your life.
The first burner represents your family.
The second burner is your friends.
The third burner is your health.
The fourth burner is your work.
The Four Burners Theory says that “in order to be successful you have to cut off one of your burners. And in order to be really successful you have to cut off two.”
https://jamesclear.com/four-burners...
7 -
Companies that expect interns to work for free since they are learning at the job. sincerely fuck off!
8 -
You know its a good end of the work week, when you feel compelled to mention the Geneva convention in your last PR before logging off :)3
-
Nothing breaks a dev's heart more than when you plan to spend your day off programming and work asks you to do a full day .-.
Why must everything cost money .-.1 -
I feel so stressed at work right now.
QA signed off on a fix I made, I signed off on a fix I made, and other people signed off on the fix, but it gets out to production and people find it's broken, I get the finger pointed at me.
It's really stressing me out, especially when our client needs custom logic to make their use cases work, and the BE and FE are scrambling to make it work.
It's really affecting the way I work and I don't know what to do. I talked to my boss and he just tells me to "stay positive". Someone please help me.11 -
You get home from work and one half of your brain goes, "Let's just code a little to catch up on the backlog", and the other half of your brain goes, "No way you psycho, we're off from work and we're not getting paid for this. I'm not helping!"
And that's why you're code sucks when you're not at work! -
Took some time off with the Mrs for our crotch goblin's first birthday and it was wonderful. I properly switched off for the first time since he was born, barely touched a keyboard, went outside, slept. I felt great.
But Jesus H Christ trying to get my mind back into work mode is a slow and difficult process. More coffee please.5 -
A relative told me that if I were actually smart I would be getting other people do development work for me.
He is also very wealthy. Clearly wealthy off the backs of dumb people.6 -
I just got my stickers in the mail... looking very elegant on my computer. I can't wait to show off at work 😍
Thanks for everything @dfox and @trogus, and thanks to all the devRanters 😉
2 -
All devs in the company are booked 120% until late summer. Boss just sold another 6000 hours cloud project to kick off in 2 weeks. I’m the PM, and my colleagues will hate me for this thinking that it’s my fault they have to work their asses off for the next 5 months!10
-
🤖 working with people that actually wanna work. And when they don't want to, just take the day off. 7 days pretentious work == 2 days actual work5
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Wanna get pissed off? Have a client complain about a penny difference on a report, and not specify how they want values rounded. It'll work, GUARANTEED3
-
month off on vacation
come back to work and try to remember shit
struggle to decipher/remember public wiki documents you wrote prior to vacation
ugh -
MY FUCKING COLLEGE PISSED VOC REHAB OFF SO MUCH THEY DROPPED MY FUNDING.
i got to waste 6 hours doing unnecessary work to learn this.
Thanks, Columbia College. Eat shit.5 -
Yesterday was a day off so I developed a vue, vuex , laravel application. Today back to work and start writing some shity code!1
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My boss ask me to work from 5pm to 11pm at a Sunday. He said I can take a half day off tomorrow from 9am to 12pm :)11
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Well, just got laid off. My 2 cents: Dont open recruitment sites at work, even an email in your personal inbox.
The worst part is they took the first blow before I quit, and it fucking hurts.12 -
Customer signs off that work is complete via email.
Customer calls back saying the delivery is incomplete.
I tell customer they need to QA better and we can fix it.
Customer is no longer a customer.2 -
How do you teach non-technical coworkers to trust you're doing your work to the best of your ability? You know the type, they're used to having everything measured by simple numbers. Number big = good work. Number small = bad work or slacking off. The moment they run into something that doesn't work like this, their heads explode.4
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Tfw when you're lying down falling asleep and realize you didn't commit your work but you turned off your computer.3
-
Mornings before starting office work
During start of lockdown: Wake up early, freshen up, do daily exercise, get sunlight from the window, write an article or work on side project for an hour, then start off to work...
5 months after lockdown: Wake up just 5 minutes before office work, brush my teeth and start off with office work...5 -
The first day back to work after almost 2 weeks off...
And Slack is down. Time to make it a 2 weeks + 1 day vacation.1 -
I'd just like to thank the developers on the pornhub site for their amazing work.
I have a shitty internet connection that cuts off every ten seconds and reconnects after 30 seconds. I was searching for a particular channel when my connection cut off just as I wrote 'fake' when it reconnected 30 seconds later, the search autocompleted itself. thank you very much you amazing programmers.5 -
Weeks after our partner has been nagging us to release to production because we've been putting it off because their API sucks and wouldn't properly work.... we finally did....
except their production API doesnt even work LMAO -
Very proud to work at my company
They've just been voted for one of the best places to work in the UK. Hard worked studying paid off.1 -
After about 7 hours continuous work in any one day, I’ve kinda had enough and noticed that work beyond this point is usually shit. I stopped trying and think fuck it now. Deadlines are mainly bollocks anyway. My life is a lot better because of it. Don’t do today what you can put off til tomorrow.Who’s with me?6
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When you work for a week day and night to compete a feature, because top management said it's the highest priority. Then when you're about to send it off to test, they tell you it is no longer required.2
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That moment when you have to work but actually want to watch a Christmas charity livestream 😔 lucky there were no high priority bugs today, so I watched it on anders off
-
Agree or disagree: as a developer guaranteeing your work, when you accept a deposit from a client as a milestone payment, you should not spend that money until the client signs off on the milestone in case they decide your work is unsatisfactory and want to go elsewhere.11
-
Prepared my first own Pathfinder Campaign over the last week. Three hours before it starts someone calls it off.
A week of work thrown in the garbage. Feels good.5 -
// not strictly a devRant
Had a minor operation last week. Surgeon said I'd be fine to work immediately after.
I only managed a half-day at work (the day after the operation) before the pain became unbearable. That was 5 days ago - been off since.
Hate taking so much time off - halfway through a project, gonna go back to a mountain of work and a tighter deadline!3 -
A dev's worst nightmare can be summed up as this:
"Working on updates
5% Progress
Don't turn off your computer"
So much for getting some work done tonight.....5 -
Just resigned from my work at FAANG and damn it feels good.
Those golden handcuffs, damn, they are hard to get off.5 -
Freaking hate it when people's ringtones go off randomly at work. Gonna go mad listening to the same 4 seconds of despacito over and over again 😠
-
Pissed off as fuck. The more I explain to people that they have to provide at least one piece of evidence in order to analyze the problem, the more they end up saying "the app doesn't work".3
-
What the hell is wrong with the browser on iOS....
For Christ sakes almost no input attributes work. I have a Sign Up feature that validates passwords with a pattern attribute; doesn't work, required attribute; doesn't work, input type number; doesn't work.
What the fuck is wrong with this thing. Even Internet Explorer knows what those attributes means. Absolute joke now i need to implement it manually. Fuck off apple.11 -
Basically I work my ass off until I have made some real progress. Knowing that I can make something useful in a tough situation gives confidence to enjoy life and try fun things during the good days.
-
After 4 years off apprenticeship and 10 days of totally focused work I just turned in my final exam! (45 Minutes ago)
The final exam for IT professionals (here in Switzerland) is a project that you work on for ten days at your workplace.
I thought I would feel relieved in any way.
But honestly, there are only two things in my head right now:
Tiredness
And
The constant thought off what could be wrong
I AM TOO TIRED FOR EVERYTHING!
The only thing that keeps me alive for now is the music shaking my ears2 -
Well, we have a designer/front-ender who's forced to work the same way the devs work (local development environment), yet he doesn't understand a single thing he's doing.
I'm pretty sure he's never going to understand it, and I feel like he's better off just doing UI/UX, he's pretty good at that!1 -
When the project lead gave a half hour speech for why our shitty web page was similar to Elon Musk’s rocket and how we needed to work extra to get it off the ground, to justify an extra 3 months of unpaid weekend work at 10 hours a day, after already getting 6 months of unpaid weekend work when I was a junior dev.
-
Oh god, I just got told off by my building manager for sleeping to much here.
I need to be near my computer to work or I slowly die inside -
You know you are off to a good week when it starts like this....
"Happy Monday everyone! Welcome to work! By the way we just sold the company last week!"
😶 This is going to be a very long week...1 -
A good friend connected me with a recruiter before I almost gave up looking for work in my industry. Good thing I didn't piss him off in college!
-
Anyone else's bosses constantly spies on you at work? it's f***** annoying. I know I am the only minority at the job, but goodness get off my back.
-
Developers are the only people that knock off for work at 8pm, and at 7am your project manager wants to see something new on where you left off. What happened to fairness?
-
First time in years I've ended up in my old pub...
Got a message from work:
"Can you please look at this order?"
(screenshot with badly synced orderlines)
*looks via 4G*
nothing wrong, was fixed by customer
quickly send a message back:
"Nothing wrong, might need to refresh your page. I see the products..
Oh, and cheers... I'm not at home for once..."
(adds pic)
2 -
I took a day off work to go enjoy camping.
I've never felt so much anxiety about work at this time. I feel like I need to be working right now.4 -
Taking over a deserter's work, the level of over abstraction and over generalization is off the charts.
WTF-per-minute (WPM): 33 -
I have played different roles on different companies and all my mother says to people is that I 'work with computers', same for friends that work on manufacturing or as sales engineers. It really pissed me off.
1 -
160 Hours worth of work from the beginning of the month till today. i push my self a little bit to far. i hope off work till end of the month worth it.
Edited : 160 instead of 1403 -
Word/Excel = piece of shit!! 😡 Pissing me off every fucking time I am trying to do something. I am wasting more time to set up the fucking alignments and fonts and etc, rather than actually do work.4
-
Life is so much more fun when electricity is cut off and you still need to get day's worth of work done from home5
-
Go for a smoke break, sleep, or take rest of the day off depending on how "stuck" you are. Always seem to work.
-
Work for myself.
3 projects on the go, 1 interesting one I'm waiting for more content, 2 I have content but they're boring projects and the content was provided in most disorganised, unintelligible fashion.
Day off watching movies it is :-)2 -
A new project kicked off, where a new feature will be added to our app. The mythical creature called "Project Manager" asked us to take OT's and weekend work to rush and finish it. Aaaare you f*ckin' kiddin' meeee??!2
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Am I alone in writing libraries in my time off work with the intent to use that library at work to avoid my company owning that library?3
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Dude at work floats the idea of creating separate Github accounts for personal and work for security. My response:
While we're discussing options, we should also consider maintaining a list of users as a CSV^H^H^H MS Excel file, and install an authentication server that runs off the laptop of an "IT Administrator". That way it'll be super secure because hackers cannot access any system outside of working hours, as well as the days that said admin is off from work.
2 -
just got off work,... ANOTHER DAY SPEND TRYING TO FIGURE SOMEONE ELSES PROD ISSUE....
Doesn't help when my PM's like did you figure it out yet, did you figure it out yet?
Why am I cleaning up other people's shit....1 -
Just got inspired/pissed off enough to write another app... For work....
Guess my dry periods end either tonight or this weekend
5 -
Really not in the mood for work.
But since that is not an acceptable reason to ask for a day off, I wonder what excuses I can make to get out of working today... 🤔11 -
I fear that in the future there will only be 2 possibilities as software developer
either work for pennies out of passion while others profit off your work as more and more open source developers do
or work in a dipshit heavy environment with soul-less automatons who look only to maximize a column or another in a spreadsheet until they are ready to retire and die6 -
I can now tell if a client will be difficult before... I do the work.
Good skill to have, I can tell them to fuck off1 -
Ahh... Friday.... in Summer.... 1 week before vacation....
I'm amazed I even got to work today... But very disappointed in the amount of work I actually was able to do... Don't feel like starting anything new... 😪😪😪😪😪
Is one 10am and add you can see In sorta slacking off already...1 -
Lels....i think we have the day off and no one in my team told me so :V so here I am sitting at work waiting to see someone walk through the door. In all honesty. I would not mind :v my work pc os fairly powerful and I can do with the comfy chair.
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How many of you use FTP everyday to work?
Well today the whole GoDaddy FTP server for EVERY website I manage was off.
Had to work through the webpage editor (a notepad provided by godaddy/cpanel), it kinda works, but I can't even use ctrl+s to save since it's in the browser :/9 -
I fucking hate going into work after being sick feeling 80%. It sucks because i dont want to use my sick days when I'm doing fine, but i feel so off my game and out of my element.18
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Finally got Stripe charges to work, then changed it to make subscriptions work in the Django app I was working on for Capstones. At least in theory. Works locally, but hasn’t been merged into our Production branch yet, so there could be something missing.
Still, super happy to have finally crossed it off my mental to-do list. -
The moment when you work your ass off on a project and you don't get alot of praise
vs
The praise you get for that 5 minute side project / fuck around you done....
Wtf!?
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Made the mistake of restarting my pc at work this morning. Came up with configuring Windows, do not turn off.
30 minutes later, same message showing.
Despite message saying don't turn off, i had had enough and turned it off, think it would be completely broken.
Booted fine, no issues?!?! Thanks Microsoft.2 -
So the bus I get into work has been cancelled and my office manager said I could have the day off but I had some important stuff he needed me to finish so I remembered I had TeamViewer installed on my work machine so I'm going to be working from home today4
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On Sunday nights I hate doing what I love for a job. Lying in bed for hours too excited to sleep. Brain won't switch off about the cool things I'll be too tired to work on properly in a few hours
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Who invented WhatsApp in the first place anyway?
Cuz I do not know when is the right time to "off work" since I start working.
People start ranting about my blue ticks if I don't reply after working hours.5 -
Off work at 5:30. In about 10 minutes I'm winning the lottery, then I'm quitting my job and buying the least technical business ever... A brothel.
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What's the smallest size start-up company you would work for? The American dream, of course, is to own your own company. If that option were off the table, would you work as a developer for a startup company that only had 3 other employees, including the CEO?4
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My first series... now off to work. Let me know your thoughts and if I'm right... or way off
“What I Learned From Studying Algorithms and Data Structures (AlgoDS 1)”
https://medium.com/@allanx2000/...3 -
Don't write tests for work code.
It started off because i couldn't because of the tooling but now i can don't have the time. -
ArseHole, for simple CRUD, my client suggest to use WordPress. Then they added payment and booking system. I asked why still using WordPress????? It's nightmare to work three peoples on functions.php file.
Fuck off. Go fuck yourself. 😣7 -
It's difficult to turn off the brain after a full day of work... you can't sleep 'cos the ideas must be purged or else they will rattle around all night... so you log on remotely just to get it down but proceed to (accidentally) work another nine hours... you finish with only enough time for two hours sleep before you'll need to get up for work again.
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Everyone: Keep people safe and work from home!
My power company: We were going to turn off your power for maintenance but now we won't to help people work from home.
Also my power company today : Hope you didn't need your power to work from home. Good luck with that.
🤦♂️1 -
Today is just another one of those days. Having to take (paid) time off from work and play golf at Topgolf for the after noon, with free food and drink,with all my teammates. I love this company!
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On a business trip. I brought my work laptop and my personal laptop with me. Because I am smart. But a lot of my coworkers only bring their work laptops. So I guess I am basically wondering how much porn has tainted the work laptops. Especially since they will auction them off around once a year. To be clear I am not wondering about the software taint.2
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It's my birthday today. And I have taken the day off. Client has emergency work for me. BPOS CLIENT.1
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First thing is quite simply no overtime, I never EVER work overtime, you get my 8/9 hours a day, where I do work and that is it.
However, as dev's our minds never really shut off from 'coding' so if there are any bugs or complex issues, those most often get resolved when I am out for my run or cycle. -
I design 3D CAD models in my office system. I need to keep saving the files every few minutes because software licenses are floating and once lost, I may lose data.
But another bigger problem is that we need to disable proxy to connect to VPN and work online. And the proxy always turns itself ON, every few minutes and if by chance you saved the file without turning the proxy OFF. Well then OFF goes all the work since you last saved. Because then CREO just stops responding.
2 -
EOS is pissing me THE FUCK OFF. So is my drama teacher. Shit keeps crashing, she keeps deleting all my fucking work, and people REFUSE TO STAY STILL while I try and light them. For FUCKS SAKE!1
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When the project manager gives you work then sods off to a meeting. You review the work and only been given half the info you need and impossible to complete. They then come back from the meeting and kick off it's not done!!!
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Is this just bullshit or did they actually pull this off?
https://patents.google.com/patent/...
They just trying to patent other people's work before they discover it? I really hate it when they patent shit they didn't even make.11 -
I thought that Windows Insider was for Developers or Quality Engineering but based on feedback post in the Feedback App either normies are getting involved or when Dev/QE get off work they forget how to write a proper bug report.3
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Took a day off to work on side projects, didn't wake up until 50 minutes ago. And now I don't feel motivated anymore. Damn it.3
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Today I had to work on a server running SunOS.
For those that don't know, SunOS was last released in the mid 90's. To top it off the only available editor was vi. -
I'm building an app with Cordova and everything was working great, tested on multiple devices and everything worked perfectly. Until my boss called me to say that some interfaces don't work on his phone. Needless to say Android 4.3 doesn't like the "new" syntax of flex and just tells me that I can fuck off. Well Android fuck off too.2
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I'm less familiar with JavaScript, and by extension, I'm less familiar with JS Frameworks. So I needed to add inputs from three <input/> and show addition in fourth <input/>
So ripped off a SO answer, didn't work, though his JSFiddle is working perfectly.
Ripped off another SO answer, but this time jQuery, but that didn't work too.
the cycle continues till I find that I do not have a id="" in my code and I'm trying to use getElementById.1 -
VR porn sucks... So does Daydream...
Overheating even on OP6... which is why I was watching it at 6am... Ok now I'm off to work...5 -
Sometimes I envy those people whose work is purely clock on / clock off, meaning those that can leave work and switch off to that entirely (delivery driver; mcdonalds etc). Having the time to focus on other things. I have never had that luxury, work consumes far too much of my time, even when not working i am thinking about it. I want the time to pursue my other love which is music, and playing my bass. I like my work but sometimes i fucking hate this path i'm on. Oh well FML.4
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Now that I got some time off work, I'd love to dig deeper into programming, are there any new trends around?8
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Today is bank holiday in the UK. Fucking boss slacked me to say he needs graphql n mongodb wired up by tomorrow. I almost tell him to fuck off, today is not work, bitch1
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I casually solved a problem in some private code at work today that I didn't manage to fix the previous two evenings.
Then I forget to push the changes and remembered at home that I turned off my work computer which normally I never turn off so that I could TeamViewer into it (I don't have VPN
access).
Wanted to work on that code this weekend 😒
(Well, we were in a "progession session" meeting right before leaving the office so I kind of forgot about it because of that) -
I am getting tired of people bragging about being pissed off by their families and wanted escape to work office. Is family really worst than some random crowd at your company?10
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There are 43 people in our team. Every 43 of them come to salute me in the morning, fuck off, let me work. Just go ahead with your shit but leave me alone.4
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It's just Tuesday and I'm fed up of the week already.
Weekend can you come quickly? You are the closest thing to an illusion that I actually get a break off work but in actual life, I just get to work remote. -
I'm off any caffeine since eastern 2019.
Funny tho, I work as efficient as always + get a natural amount/intensity of sleep :)2 -
I just finished a hackathon that actually turned out to have been a pitch contest. They invited me to work my ass off for the whole weekend and didn't even bother to ask for the finished project.
???2 -
When you roll out a new system is disaster recovery testing on your roadmap? For example, do you do failover and have users work through a comprehensive test script and have them sign off before going into production?1
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Just got off work, pulled up to the stoplight right outside the office, and some kid texting on his phone rear ended me. That was about an hour ago. So that's how my week ended. How's yours going?2
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Literally can't afford to sleep less than 6 hours two nights in a row. If I do, like I did last night, my dumb tired sleepwalking ass will just turn off my two alarms and be late for work by like an hour.
How does something like this happen? I have no recollection of waking up even briefly to turn off my alarms but I know I wouldn't sleep in consciously on a work day, so whom can I even blame?3 -
https://devrant.com/rants/5124329/...
Half a year later, absolutely NOTHING has changed. Except I have more work on my plate in addition to that big project and those integrations and shit… I’m fucked. So badly need some time off, but ain’t got time for that.3 -
That one time the product manager kept me at work with no tasks just because I came in late on a Friday (the day off here). Keep in mind I worked 14 hours for 2 days in the same week.
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Don't know why but I prefer to work/code on linux. It pissed me off when we had to work on windows on java and C labs on uni. On first data bases lab we got linux machines and the first thing we did was starting windows VMs...
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How does an Android fix its problems?
It tries turning it off and on again, but if that doesn't work, it blames it on the manufacturer. -
Talk to someone as if they're a wall. Bouncing off your own thoughts helps you solve it. It really does work!1
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*starts work day*
"Let me put some music on so I can hum tunes while I code"
*10 mins into working*
"Oh wait, I gotta focus here"
*Turns music off*
Result: Music stays off the entire day.2 -
What do you do when you wake up feeling that you don't want to work today, and you don't have any clear reason for that, you force yourself to go or you take day off, and why?1
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I might be wrong but all the interviewers I’ve had lately have been duds and didn’t know how to interview
Like. I can’t tell if I sucked or they had no personality and energy for me to work off of -
The company I work at severely limits the days we can take off, like most requests I put in will be denied. Additionally, I don't get paid that well or even get paid for time off or holidays. Obligatory: the job I work at currently is co-op, I'm still in college.
Yesterday and today I was severely burnt out so I said I was sick when I wasn't really so I could get some (unpaid) time off. It's likely that the current release we're targeting at work will be in jeopardy because of this. I feel so guilty, should I be? I really needed this time, I doubt I could have continued much longer without this.
TLDR, please help me justify not giving a shitty job my unconditional 100% and being shitty back every once in a while2 -
that feeling when you want to take off a few days of work to REALLY research Perlin noise and displacement map filters.
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When after 2 hours of debugging you realize that the reason only GET calls work to your local instance of API and POST calls don't is the fact you have VPN turned off. God damn those externally defined CQRS settings.1
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Corporate culture in a nutshell: these are the team goals, work on your tasks and switch your brain off.
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I finally have a week off and the first thing I do is start a project exploring some solutions for the project at work send help.
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I just love when my IT lead decides to take himself off of projects to work on his personal, now work project, and leave me with two projects that I am the main dev on. 😑😑😑😑
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I'm just off for a long weekend and hope I now find the time to read all the rants instead of just skimming them while I work.
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I have the entire week off and you suckers have to go into work Monday!
Ha!!
I'll be in Dollywood if you need me. -
So just got off the train to transfer to goto work...
Wait no I'm actually going home, I'm off this week! Just happens that I need to get off at the same stop...
Moment of realization felt sorta weird... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -
Went to order a new laptop for work today, so I can stop using my own. The one we usually get is no longer configurable, and instead is just "buy it off the shelf". Thanks Lenovo. Always wanted 4gb of ram.7
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So I finally gave up trying to get TypeScript ES6 modules to work. Back to CommonJS it is, because fuck me I guess. I mean it *did* work... Until I also had to use a commonjs module at which point tsc basically tells you to fuck off with that2
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I feel fine for the whole day but the moment I get off work, I just feel tired and want to take a nap...5
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Life is shitty till some people work off hours, on Saturdays, ping you anytime. Fuck those people!2
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Work to clients specs, sign off the job. Three months later they email asking why things are the way they are.. because they asked for it that way!
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While windows is fine and dandy for slacking off, you're going to need Linux or macOS to actually get work done.2
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Reverse engineer an example off of github, use to make something else, stack exchange when it doesn't work, repeat.
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Just got my first technical interview for a summer internship! Now it's time to brush up on data structures and I'll be set :D1
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Currently waiting to get paid for a freelance job I took over the summer. First time making money off of my work and I couldn't be more excited.
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The fact that I have to leave for work in 5 mins on a Saturday just because we had Thursday off for reasons irritates me more than it should. As if 5 days a week isn't suffering enough...1
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Asshats in QA,
Kindly please be leaving me the fuck alone so I can work.
Fuck off,
-Rowsdower
(Sorry, 'ol Rowsdower's grumpy today.) -
Project manager is against that we pick our own tickets.... So next sprint, that last 2 weeks, i got 2 days off work and that is already generous estimations.
He will be off for the next 2 weeks. -
When I see job adverts asking for SQL skills it really puts me off. After seeing how database migrations and eloquent in Laravel work I don't know why anyone would write SQL queries again!8
-
Holy shit, writing code is fun again. Isn't it nice when things actually work for a change, and you can focus on code quality and improvements?
Hard work pays off. -
Actually there are some things:
- Knowing when to stop or switch off from work;
- Too many video calls and meetings;
- No lunch time with team mates;
And many more that I'm sure that I'm forgetting 😅 -
I got the question about the ownership of the technology.
I understand If I develop my own technology outside of company work hour and without using company resource,I own the technology. Let call this technology "X".
If the company want me to work on "X" during company hour with company resource to profit off it, do I still own "X"?11 -
!rant
I'm better at getting work done when I have work to do.
Put your phone on airplane mode, turn off internet on your computer (unless you really need it) and write down what you need to do and when it's due. Just do it.1 -
Finally decided to do remote in to finish some work... but the machine is off...
Not sure if this is good or bad... -
Getting pissed off with eBay and Amazon APIs! eBay’s is completely screwed and the sandbox site doesn’t even work.
Amazon have great API’s but getting accounts to link and have the right permissions is a complete joke! -
When you feel like crap but your boss might make you work on the weekend, unpaid, if you take the day off. -_-4
-
What's your ideal and current work time?
How many hours do you work per day and when do you start?
And what days you are mostly off?9 -
My workflow pet peeve is the length of time my PRs get merged into master
I have to create new features, but sometimes I have to work off current HEAD, which is technically old since I need stuff off a new branch.
Ideally we merge into master, then create a new branch off that. It's nothing major and there's loads of ways to get around it, but I'm used to the flow! -
Spent two hours trying to work out why a Kubernetes pod wouldn't apply it's database migration when it works in every other environment. Turns out the database instance was powered off. Piss biscuits.
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Last semester of college! Finished my 2 theory tests this today. Now just programming (C# easy junk) next Tuesday and I'll be off the hook until assignments are due. I'd rather be at work tbh.
-
Yesturday when I got off work I turned my PC off and it installed some updates... Came in the today turned on the PC and the fucking Win 10 instantly crashes with Sadface of Death "could not run critical service"
Recovery does not work as usual... No safe mode no nothing!
Fuck you Microsoft just stop puting your nose in to hardware and fix your fucking software! Now I have to reinstall all of my development tools and other work related shit... Thank god I pushed my changes! -
!rant
For the first time since I started work I used a matrix to find a formula.. Albeit it was for jquery.
Those hours and headaches spent studying math are paying off. Feeling a bit proud... -
Stayed up all night to work up till 4am on a weekday to finish off some work stuff. Still, got told the next day you're exceeding deadlines smh.6
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Well now it's like "now you have time to interview and more money in your pocket and don't have to work in a disgusting environment and will find a better job all because some fag got a bug up his ass and discounted decent work you did do."
And no worse off -
A day off work at the Microsoft conference, but is it such a day off? I still have to be on the phone
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Ever been hit so bad by a bug that you check the time hoping to knock off in the next 10 minutes, only to realize its 7:30 AM. I have been at work for 30 min! *SLAMS KEYBOARD*
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!dev
none of the food delivery apps coupons ever seem to work... Even the ones that popup when app starts...
Is there some trick to it that I'm missing?
Got one for 20% off but at checkout said was invalid ...
Are there ever any coupons that actually work?3 -
Working from home stupidities...
It's last day before the weekend and I still felt like the weekend is already here. Totally forgot to start off for work while watching web series in the morning. -
You know I find there being disembodied scans of documents seems like it would create more work than if a clerk just got off their fat ass did a scan per job and they hired more clerks.lol
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NCAA wrestling nationals is going off right now. Coding has many similarities with wrestling: hard work, determination, individual performance, team building / scoring. For some reason I feel like coding might be a more sustainable venture...
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So I'm at the office today. Really missing singing along off key at the top of my lugs while I drink on the job and work in just underwear.
Also missing all my screen real estate2
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