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-
NSA: Hey, its looks like you a bit lonely
Me: Yeah sort of
CIA: (Retrieves list of facebook friends), why not hook up with these people
Me: Not interested
FBI: The girl across your room seems to be interested in you
Me: Nah not interested
CIA: We can send someone to keep you company if you want
Me: thanks, not interested
NSA: A girl winked at you at the cafe yesterday
Me: Didn't notice
CIA: What of the lady you spoke to on the phone earlier
Me: Too old
FBI: Can you please move your webcam to the left a little
Me: Bruuuuuhhhhhh!!!19 -
Another one, teach secure programming for fucks sake! This always happened at my study:
Me: so you're teaching the students doing mysql queries with php, why not teach them PDO/prepared statements by default? Then they'll know how to securely run queries from the start!
Teachers: nah, we just want to go with the basics for now!
Me: why not teach the students hashing through secure algorithms instead of always using md5?
Teacher: nah, we just want to make sure they know the basics :)
For fucks fucking sake, take your fucking responsibilities.31 -
Me, a junior dev: * reports an important issue and a possible fix *
Senior dev 1: nah, it'll do just fine.
Senior dev 2: that won't be an issue, don't you see? It's under control, man.
Senior 3: why are you even here? Why are you even talking?
Manager: yeah, what could possibly go wrong?
* a year after releasing the product, one of the seniors got fired and another one was hired *
New senior: this thing is bananas, code is inconsistent and there's memory leaks everywhere, how does that even work?
Me: nobody believed me when I said that.
Manager: it did work very well, where's the issue?
Me: it's everywhere, goddammit! Don't you see?
New senior: junior dev is right.
Me: I've been a WHOLE YEAR saying that!
Manager: did you? Really? Nah, you didn't.
...
I'm tired of this shit.15 -
"should I commit this? nah let's just implement this huge feature first and commit that clusterfuck of changes with a commit message «changes»"8
-
At my study in the first year we had a Linux course and at the end we would all be graded.
Everyone was nervous as fuck except for me.
We had to go in one by one and everyone came back with this 'well that was damn close' face. Apparently the teacher was quite strict.
Then it was my turn.
It took about half an hour and we did the following:
- talk about Linux and the philosophy behind it
- talk about compiling programs
- talk about Linux servers
- talk about what distro's we'd used
- talk about DE's and which ones we preferred
- actual grading/showing my assignments: 'nah I believe you, you'll get a good mark!'
So I basically got the best mark with hardly showing anything because the teacher knew I could do it and rather just had an interesting convo with me 😁11 -
- Which operating system do you have? Windows?
- Nah, I have LibrOffice
- ...
If you weren't my sister I would have slapped you.10 -
New senior dev joined the project today.
Senior dev: "There's no way for me to test my changes before I merge this into develop"
Me: "Can you at least run our test suite?"
An hour later the develop branch is fucked and everyone who has merged it locally has pages of red errors splattered across their screens whenever they run any tests.
Start looking into what the fuck is going on.
Notice that all the errors are related to changes the new guy made.
Ask him if he ran the tests..
Senior dev: "Nah they wouldn't catch anything locally "
Stare at the stream of red text running down my screen.
Normally I wouldn't care but we were trying to prepare a release... RUN THE FUCKING TESTS ASSHOLE.9 -
Talking with a dev friend:
- I want to create a program. Want to help me?
- Sure, any ideas?
- Yeah, I'd like to create a paint software using Java
- Cool
After 3 mins:
- Nah I just realized it'd take too long and no one would use it. Wanna play Rainbow Six tho?
- Okay
After playing for 15 mins:
- Holy shit! This game is so buggy. I could make it better
After 3 mins:
- Nah I just realized it'd take too long and no one would use it. Wanna create a paint software using Java?14 -
Windows: I need to update
Me: Fuck off I'm doing an assignment
Windows: Nah mate I need to update like right fucking now
Me: For fucks sake, go on then, but if you take longer than 30mins I'll delete you again
Windows: *Updating 25% done*
Windows: *Reboots*
*Grub rescue screen*
Me: Hello?
Windows: ...
Me: ...
Me: You fucking cunt
21 -
Thinking/saying: nah, that can't be an issue, no user can be that stupid
Never has anyone been so wrong.17 -
I hate this attitude of my study (when i studied):
"it might be a good idea to teach the students how to program securely by default?"
"oh no but we just want to teach them the basics"
"so why not the secure basics by default?!"
"nah we just want them to get started and understand it, that's all. We'll get to the secure way later on"
Well, fuck you.16 -
The past 2 years where I work:
Me: hey let's use git instead of ftp!
Boss: should we?
Some time later: he is loving it...
Me: hey let's use trello instead of excell!!??!
Boss: huumm.. Dunno... Should we?
After much convincing: whole departments are using and loving it....
Me: hey let's move from rackspace to DO!
Boss: huumm... Convince me...
Year latter: everything smooth and muuuch lower prices... Managing 6 servers instead of one...
Me: UNIT TESTS!!!
Boss: nah, this but a waste of time...
For real? Get a grip man, I only encourage solutions tested ( no pun intended, or is it ) by me for a long time...4 -
Boss: I need this page to behave in a completely new way.
Me: that's all fine and dandy but it requires a rewrite.
Boss: nah just look man, it's really simple all I want is blah, blah blah...
I'm too tired for this shit5 -
Jobless.
Nah, just kidding.
I'm a qualified teacher, so I have that to fall back on.
That or fixing things, I suppose. I would then design something to corrupt that AI and then I can get hired back when the AI starts its reign of terror.
"Oh no! The AI became sentient and started intentionally fucking code up (and then proceeding to manically laugh at it ((ha...ha...ha...)! Who can save us?"
"I have a team of highly skilled devs, programmers, and a dude who works in a cellphone shop at my disposal. devRanters assemble! (then I just fuck up the code I made initially to make them sentient and commit it - problems solved.)
2 -
Real and true story of me.
Friend : what was his first pickup lines that melt you ?
Me : nah, he was straight to the point
F : come on, you both always look romantic all the time. there must be something in the beginning. tell me more !
Friend : fine, he said "I Like you, can i i SSH you ?" so i replied "I'm not that complicated, sudo hug me"
F: i regret being your friend.16 -
Do you build some eastereggs into your homepages / apps?
When you press F + U + C + K together on my newest creation you get something like this :-D
7 -
Manager: we use <teaming meeting service> for all of our team meetings.
Me: cool I'll go to the site and join the meeting.
Me: [using opera as default browser]
Service: [doesn't work with opera]
Me: [not really surprised, tries firefox]
Service: I need java to run me.
Me: I have java.
Firefox: yeah but I don't.
Me: why?
Firefox: 'cause we're phasing it out.
Me: [looking for some kind of plugin]
Internet: [tldr Firefox can only use 32bit java if it must use java]
Me: [installs 32 bit java]
Firefox: nah.
Me: waht?
Firefox: [covering its eyes] I can't see anything
Me: it's right there.
Firefox: ...
Me: ...
Firefox: ...
Me: ... please?
Firefox: ...nah...
Me: [checks service supported browsers]
Service: on Linux: ONLY FIREFOX
Me: .... fuck...
Me: [downloads Linux-32 distro]
Me: [runs as vm]
Me: [installs Firefox esr]
Me: [installs java-32]
Me: [manually creates plugin for Firefox to recognize java]
Me: [logs onto service and signs in]
Service: Meeting concluded 26 minutes ago.7 -
Software company director: we build Java applications right?
Devs: nah, javascript.
Director: it's the same, right?
Devs: no
Director: fuck, I pitched a Java application.
A few hours later...
Director on the phone: Yeah, we are building it in Java...10 -
/* Daily sit down meeting */
What did you work on yesterday?
- Tea
What are you working on today?
- Tea
Any road blocks?
- *sips tea* ...nah no11 -
I am So Humble!
Others: There is a hackathon soon! Participate, bro! You will do well!
Outer me: Nah, not now.
Others: Why?
Outer me: I am doing other things now. Don't have time.
Inner me: (crying) I dont have the skills to participate yet.......10 -
How has coding impacted your life...?
- Using Linux
- Valuing OpenSorce over cracked software
- Using more CLI than GUI programs
- Only playing games that run on Linux or Wine
- Hating Micro$oft
- Utilizing VMs and Servers
- Tinkering with Hardware (RPi, custom PC)
- ...
... Nah not that much. 🤗😅13 -
Fren : Yo make me a bot
Me: Hell nah
Fren: I'll pay u
Me: When do we start
Fren: nvm found someone else lol
,w,5 -
What do you all think about that. Is it good or nah? After few months of coding tried to do some UI design.
7 -
Adding borders to HTML elements? Nah.
I put them in a parent element with a background color, then add margin to the child.7 -
Talking with colleagues earlier about dealing with a cocky intern:
"Ah, I had one of those last year. I told him to make sure when using the find command, always use the -delete flag to clear up any temporary files it creates while it's searching."
"Man, that's harsh. Did that take him down a peg?"
"Nah, not at all, but he never spoke to me again after that, so I'm calling it a win."1 -
Just Open Sourced my first script: https://github.com/n0ah01/afc.js
It is a ASCII Art Colorizer :-P
Any feedback is much appreciated.
9 -
"Do you know the HTML? I need an email template"
Nah, the website just fucking magically made itself, it was amazing.2 -
Went to see Jason Bourne last night. No spoilers, but I'm guessing this is how the writers came up with the story:
Writer 1: Let's make it super techie
W2: Yeah, that way it's about current issues, like Internet privacy.
W1: Should we hire a tech consultant so we get things right?
W2: Nah, I saw the Matrix once, I understand computers.
Actual line from film:
"Use SQL to corrupt their database"
😑13 -
Friend ask me,
Friend: are all developers single?
Me: of course not
Friend: you sure?
Me: yep
Friend: then why you single?
Me: because i am a developer
Friend: what?
Me: nah im just joking, when i find the girl that can understand my code i know she's the one.
Friend: I hope theres someone that can understand that.43 -
That's it. I am going to learn HTML. Like really, really learn it.
And after that, I am going to learn CSS. Like fully, totally learn it.
Nah .. I am fine.8 -
I’m getting fucking tired of having this conversation:
Company “we need x”
Me “ok. In order to deliver x I need y”
Company “we can’t do that”
Me “ok. Then can I have y”
Company “nah ah”
Me “what about Q?”
Company “nope”
Me “okay. Well until you decide to provide me with the resourcing needed, this is getting deprioritized”
Company “wait this needs to be top of mind”
Me “okay. Provide me with y, and I’ll deprioritize other work”
Company “wait we also need that other work”
Me “you’re only getting one. Pick which one you want first”
Company “we’ll get back to you”
Me (muttering) “no you won’t”
Company “what?”
Me “what?”10 -
only developer with linux. everyone else are on windows.
constantly finding myself in following conversation
me : "something is not working for me on the web page i am writing"
jim : "let me see just a.... WOW! WHAT IS THIS?"
me:"ubuntu"
jim:"wat?"
me:"linux"
jim:"well... " +sigh + "that's your problem right there! this works to everyone else. and they're on windows. why would you ever not use windows?"
me:"have you ever tried anythig else?"
jim:"never needed to. windows works just fine.."
me:"well... does your computer ever freeze?"
jim:"constantly"
me:"that doesn't happen on ubuntu. at least it is quite rare"
jim:"nah... you're mistaken. windows rocks! anyway, you should probably talk to someone who knows ubuntu cause my chrome works just fine so it must be this ubuntu of yours.."17 -
VP: We're going to have HR join the call.
Me: Okay. *Shrug*
(HR Joins)
VP: I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go. I'll need you to return your laptop.
Me: Okay. *Shrug*
VP: ...
HR: ...
HR: Do you want to know why we're letting you go?
Me: Nah. Bye.
After five years of working in terrible conditions for terrible to mediocre people, I accepted losing my job without worry. In a way, I was thankful.
I wanted to quit so many times.
I'm much happier these days.6 -
A friend just asked me to make an app that displays a different porn link everyday and makes a push notification which he wants to use with his friends.
For free. Nah fam2 -
"Why do you think we should delay launching the new site?"
Because it's late afternoon on a Friday.
"So? What does it matter?"
Here's a bunch of good reasons.
"Nah let's do it today anyways."3 -
*me at the morning
- 08:30 Ah, let me sleep juuust more 5 minutes, I even don't need alarm *turn alarm off"
*blink
- nah, I should go
- 10:45 what the...1 -
True that... Even I got the impression that installing Arch must be a great feat of work... But Nah! It's pretty moderate!
4 -
Every single fucking time:
Developers: Maybe we'll do something nice for the users, like signing in with Facebook account?
Business: Nah, nobody is gonna pay for that and it sounds useless. We're good with current solutions. Just do your job!
half a year later:
Business: Hey, I just came up with the idea that we could have logging in with Facebook.
Also business: Wow, great idea!
Management: Here's your bonus for a great idea!
Developers: ...5 -
So ehm, tl;dr: KEEP DAILY BACKUPS. EVEN IF SOMEONE SAYS NOT TO.
7:48
Manager: Hey Tom, is the server down?
Me: Nah, should be ok, I just did some maintenance this sunday.
Manager: But I can't get [some work data from SQL server]
*Nervous giggle*
9:14: Some random off-site cunt they hired didn't read the notes that said "DO NOT REMOVE DATABASE [xyz]"
9:20-ish: Web don't even have the DB. And you said that we'll figure out what to do with backups later
*Suddenly manager starts to panic*
11:47: Found backup of the entire server on and old server that we had for spare parts, still running tho.
12:something: Everything back up and working.
Really glad I kept the old server running and doing daily backups. Saved our ass for the second time. And finally, new off-site backup is planned this week.3 -
I hate it how our profession became common over the last decade. We're nothing more than factory workers of todays day and age. Just take a look at petty midldle management above you all... and all underpayed and overworked devs out there... Nah, this ain't that glamorous proffesion I dreamed about as a kid.13
-
Had this a week ago. Was setting my alarms for the morning and noticed that (I always run one test alarm just to be sure) the alarm sound wasn't working for whatever reason.
*maybe I should turn it off and on again?*
*nah that's bullshit, it should just work like this, if not, something is seriously wrong!*
*goes to sleep while running the alarms on an old phone*
*tries to do the turning it off and on again anyways next day*
*IT WORKS*
*Le me feeling like a very stupid end user 😐*7 -
So, a friend of mine just called me and asked what is it that I do in programming, and if I knew Java, because her stepfather owns a company, and they're currently hiring. Since she's not a tech person, I answered "basically, websites", but the stepfather was asking something else in the background, and she couldn't understand what the heck he was saying, so she put me on the phone with him.
I then explained, I do all kinds of web related stuff, from simple HTML single page sites, to WordPress themes and whatever, so I know PHP, Javascript, and all that crap.
And then, he asks me this wonderful question:
"And programming languages... ?", as in "do you know any?"
... I was like... Wut?...
I mean, I see where he's coming from. He probably meant compiled languages or something, but still... I felt like screaming at him "WEB DEVELOPERS ARE REAL PROGRAMMERS AND DESERVE SOME LOVE TOO YOU KNOW?! 😢"
I decided to go with a "nah, not compiled languages, no..."19 -
Currently i have a small web dev project and i set up a live preview website so he cant see it developing and This literally Just happened
Client : hey, are you currently working on my website?
Me : Yes on my computer and working on it, can i help you with something?
C: yeah just a little bit, that logo on the top left are just a bit squeezed in size and stay like that since 5 days ago and it's bothering me, can you fix it?
Me : nah, its just a simple thing. give me a sec and try reload--
C: why is your voice echoing? Don't tell me you are coding in the bathroom
Me: ummm.. No... I guess...? (I Am)
C: 🤣
Me: sorry 😅4 -
Dear namecheap, I honestly love your service and prices but how in the hell can I see an ip address in the dig of a new domain (url shortener) which I never put or saw there and which doesn't even belong to any server I own/operate?!
DNS cache after the last chance of three days ago, nah, don't think so.
Fucking hell.6 -
We had to review a design document written by our partners, and have it approved by end of Dec.
While I was reading it, I noticed that we committed to a module I wasn't familiar with. I asked the other two lab mates, and they had a surprised Pikachu face.
So we called the boss to discuss this. And it dawned on him that we committed to a task that was assigned 20 months of work, but nobody started working on it. And considering Holidays and other commitments, we had like 3 months to do it from scratch and deliver.
My advisor panicked, and his first response was to assign this task to me.
I politely declined, and after digging in my email box, found that he actually assigned the task to someone else. So I showed it to him.
Thinking I would save him after he treated me badly for nearly 2 years was hilarious. For a better manager, I would have definitely agreed to assist. But as it is now? I'll be eating cookies while I'm watching the project burn.12 -
Me at midnight: let's release a demo build
Me at 1 am: why are there so many bugs? Why won't it compile.
Me at 2 am: omg finally compiled. Runs it, buttons don't work. Closes it, reopens it. Buttons work.
Me at 3 am: let's write apologetic posts for the bugs, but post the version anyway
Me at 4 am: why do I advertise in so many places
Me at 5 am: let's update the patreon reward tiers
Me at 5:30 am: nah fuck this, going to bed.
Mom at 9 am: wake the hell up we need you to dig out a hill and build a stone wall around one side of the house.
Me: omg wtf why.
Me at 2:30 pm: why the hell are we doing this, I have so many bugs to patch and everyone knows they are there because I told them all!
5 -
Me: Enables USB debugging, plugs in phone
ADB: Doesnt see phone
Windows: Doesnt have drivers
Me: Downloads drivers
Windows: Nah
Me: Tells windows to use drivers
Windows: Naah
Me: Tells windows where drivers are
Windows: Naaah no drivers there17 -
OMG it’s 4 am, and I think I made a stupid fucking mistake and waste everybody’s time. Need to check right now
*check*
Ah nah, we’re good. I am not a moron -
I brushed my teeth and went to bed at 10, opened up youtube and just chilled out,
boss calls me up at 11 I'm like, nah fam tomorrow...
Calls again and again and again, calling for the 6 time on 2 numbers!?
(M8 can't u see I'm out)
Then he texts me, bro, it's urgent!
I decide to call him up.
Boss: hey dude
Me: hey (trying to not get triggered)
Me: so what's so urgent?
Boss: OK so 2 things, I will email all of our job applicants on August 28, 2: are you available tomorrow?
Me: ( LITERALLY GOT TRIGGERED AS FUCK, THOUGHT WE HAD A DICK PICTURE ON OUR SITE OR HOSTINGER DECIDED TO BILL 2 TIMES)
ME: 👏Dude, this is so urgent? R u kidding me???? Am I available tomorrow and you will email are job applicants on August 28????
Ffs I swear6 -
What the hell is "4k mAh battery"? Come on guys, you know what that little 'm' means, please tell me you do.
You wouldn't say "4k miligrams". You wouldn't say "4k milliseconds". You wouldn't say "4k milliliters". So don't use "4k miliampere hours". It's dumb.
Just to be sure - everyone, repeat with me:
👏 0.000004 👏 MAh 👏 eqals
👏 0.004👏 kAh 👏 eqals
👏 4 👏 Ah 👏 eqals
👏 4000 👏 mAh 👏 eqals
👏 4000000 👏 nAh 👏
Thank for giving me 5k ms of your attention.20 -
YouTube: Wait 5 seconds to skip this ad.
Me: Ooo this ad looks interesting.
*Watches for 15 seconds*
Me: Nah I'll watch my video now.
*Presses "Skip Ad"*
YouTube: Oh you like ads? How bout I give you another one right away? And this time you can't skip it!
Me: WTF???
(For those wondering, I usually don't mind YouTube ads. I have Pi-hole running on my network to block other ads)6 -
Me (front dev): We should use nodejs for this project...
CTO (back): Nah... Fu*k Node! Php ftw
Now: we have a php framework with a nodejs server for the front end6 -
devRanters: WORDPRESS SUCKS, AAARGH!
Me: You've got a good alternative?
devRanters: Nah, not really.
Me: 😑21 -
Have you worked on something impressive and wanted to tell a non-programmer about it?
You start to figure out a way to say it, but then you decide 'nah they will not get it'.
But you still want to talk about it with someone so bad... Its super unsatisfying to not be able to explain this tech shit to the people you like.
If you were a pilot, you could say shit like 'i landed a plane during a storm while eating a burrito' and everyone would be like omg thats amazing.
What do I have to say? I made an auto pilot system for a plane, so that a pilot can land it during storm while eating a fucking burrito.. what's their response?
ehm okay <crickets chirping>
🖕🖕10 -
Rain monitoring/alert api's/services/websites/apps.
Why the fuck are those fuckers (in my case) nearly always right when I couldn't care less and very fucking wrong when I couldn't care more?
Today, morning before leaving:
Nah mate you're good for the next x minutes (more than enough time for me to bike to the station and get on the train).
Reality: suddenly getting two gallons of water a second on me in the form of rain, arrived completely soaked and headphones broke.
Before biking home from the station;
*its raining hard as hell*
Rain alert/monitoring app/radar thingy: nah mate no worries, no rain last half hour and you're good for another half hour!
Reality: arrived home soaked a-fucking-gain.
So motherfucking annoying and frustrating. And yes, I do have an umbrella and such but I hate carrying that stuff around when 'not needed'.5 -
Fuck Apple. You'd think at least a Keynote is something that they make available to the plebs, but nah, you need Safari or Edge to watch it. Fuck your fucking proprietary bullshit, you fucking elitist pieces of shit.7
-
me: *coding in c#*
me:
"(asd() ? dsa(1) : dsa(0) );"
c#: lol nah bro
me: ....
me: *opens a java ide*16 -
A recipe for COMPLETELY hacking me off - ask for help, pretend my advice is bollocks, then rephrase it as your own and follow it up with a smart arse comment.
"Almond, could you lend me a hand with this regex? I'm trying to match this particular group, but only if it doesn't have 'foo' after it."
"Sure, take a look at negative lookaheads - that sounds like it's exactly what you need"
"Nah that won't work for me, because I need to check for more than one character after it, I need to check for 'foo'"
"What? That doesn't make sense, you can..."
"Ah don't worry, I've found the answer by myself now, I can actually just add '?!' before the text I don't want to match and it'll do it - I'm fast becoming a regex expert here! Let me know if you want me to explain this to you"
DAHHHHHHH THAT IS A NEGATIVE LOOKAHEAD YOU CRETIN3 -
I was talking with a guy who is making an android app for his thesis but hes "shitdamn awful in java". I offered to help because im so fucking nice.
"oh but i dont have facebook, is it a problem?"
Nah sure i dont use facebook anyways, got telegram?
"No"
Riot? Irc?
"Nope"
Then what do you use???
"Skype"
?!!?!??!??!!???!??!7 -
I hate working with egoistic noobshit hotshot "developers". But sadly, they tend to get ahead because they talk like they know everything in front of tech idiot management.
***
management: I need this swanky feature X in our product within the month.
me: That literally requires a huge refactor because our current codebase was never meant to support this type of service. We need to think about this.
noobshit: I disagree. This is easy. We're already doing something similar that is Z, this shouldn't take very long.
me: Z seems similar, but it actually quite different.
me (in my head): ... and you would know it's *completely* different if you fucking understood our own codebase vs what X needs you moron.
noobshit: Nah, it's similar. We can accomplish X if we polish up Z a bit.
*** 1 week later ***
noobshit: Omg X is horrifying and complex. We can't do it without a huge refactor.
me: yes
me (in my head): Fuck you
***
But guess who's got better career prospects because they're all shiny and positive in front of management?1 -
I want to fight climate change because i want my snow back.
This is what matters.
Economical reasons? Nah
Being nice to earth? Nah
Doomsday reasons? Nah
I want to see snow in my city again? Yes!15 -
"Hey what's your opinion on this idea?"
I think it's a huge waste of time and effort. Why not use this simpler solution?
"Nah let's do this."
Then why the fuck did you even ask?2 -
Devs : Lets pick library X, it is well know piece of open source technology, actively maintained by community for over 10 years.
Architect : NAH, it is an overkill to use it in our project , lets build our own solution.
*2 Months later*
The code base is hundreds of thousands lines of code, we basically started to look at library X on GitHub to copy features or get inspiration from that code. In that time we delivered 0 business value, it is horrible to use it and we constantly adding something or bugfixing because no one thought about something in first place.1 -
>spends two hours adding a cool feature
>no one's using it
>nah, it's cool. it took me like 5 minutes anyways... -
Code never lies
Comments sometimes do
Nah!
Code lies too, especially when you train a neural network 😂😂 -
boss: wish there was a way to go back to older versions..
me: there is, it's called git, I can show you how to use it!
boss: nah we will just keep using the sync on Dreamweaver
me:....the fuck?!2 -
Not dev related but still a rant:
My company decided that all the network traffic should go throu a virus scanner. But they don't know what the fuck they are doing, so now EVERY valid SSL cert gets rejected by our browsers because the virus-scanner breaks the SSL encryption.
Anyone open for a pishing attack?8 -
Had a customer call - the guy's name was "Kevin", which in Germany isn't even a name, but rather a diagnosis for stupidity. However, he was really competent and into the stuff. So what now, readjust my prejudice? Nah, he had an Asian family name, so I instead learnt that being of Asian ancestry trumps "Kevin" as given name.2
-
Installing Unreal plugins from github be like:
clone, try to build
unreal: nah
me: can you tell me why?
unreal: nah
me: please?
unreal: nah
...
me: With the powers of MS VS I command you, tell me why the fuck you aren't building!?!
unreal: yeah I need that dependency in this plugin fo rmotion tracking
me: we don't do motion tracking *comment it out*
unreal: there I build it.
... I feel like I was a Karen, went to talk to the manager (VS) who gave me a proper explanation to why the employee had to behave this way.2 -
What is it with these companies and mandatory updates?
Microsoft with windows 10. Sorry your doing work? Nah, we've decided your going to update now! Sorry, we based our default update time on people not working late at night.
Philips hue. Wanna turn on your lights? Sorry, mandatory firmware update. You'd better install that before being able to see.
YouTube app on ps4. No sorry, can't open this, mandatory 80mb update.
FUCK SAKE PEOPLE.8 -
Well, the impossible needs to become possible again.
"you will shit out a full website for this customer in two days! Fully responsive, 16 pages, and it better be good!"
Yeah. Ok. Fuck you. My attitude stinks, but your expectations and temperament kind of forge my attitude. Now tell me how in fucks name i am supposed to just stop administering over 3000 users and god only knows the ever growing amount of servers, stop all my server side development, so that I can make a site for a customer paying the company the equivalent of $100 for it (because sales people here are retarded) and get zero fucking commission or even a thank you for it.
Nah. Fuck this.
Tired of complaining, and I'm sure you guys are just as tired of it.6 -
When you look at a layout and consider the hour it will take to refactor and clean stuff out to remove built functionality.
Nah fuck it - display: none !important;1 -
The weekend is here!!!
Time to go out and have fun!!!
Nah just joking. Time to write some quality code after cleaning our company's backend (pun definitely intended) all week! -
fren: do you have a date this valentines?
me: nah fam
fren: what u doin rn
me: [Insert technical explanation of Kubernetes here]
fren: [goes offline]2 -
Unity: Fam you have errors.
VisualStudio: Nah fam you're all good.
U: You can't build until you fix your errors.
V: What errors lol
Me:
-
Here's what being in a rut is like:
You wake up to the alarm, you waste an hour or two in bed stalling browsing social shit. Finally got out of bed. You have a todo list. You ignore it. Get something to eat. Open Netflix or some brain numbing shit while having breakfast. A few hours go by, you're still watching Netflix and switching to browsing social shit in-between so your brain is numb as much as possible. It's lunch time, you're supposed to cook something, nah, I will order something. Oh, it's bedtime, let's make a todo list and go to bed and start over tomorrow...5 -
Our website stopped working. A coworker said her guess from an error she saw in the logs was that it might have something to do with a bit of a commented line in .htaccess taking itself out of comment and into code due to a specific set of characters the line contained. I looked at .htaccess and thought “Nah, that can’t be it.” and proceeded to troubleshoot pretty much everything but that. After 30 minutes my coworker opened the file and fixed the comment and all was well. I felt stupid because on our team I’m supposed to be the expert that figures out stuff like this.
-
We had some cake in the office today. They think we're celebrating someone's birthday, when in fact I'm secretly celebrating me deleting 33k lines of code instead 😁1
-
A senior colleague of mine just announced she'll be leaving by the end of the year.
😐 Why do people I specifically need always leave? Am I that destructive? 😢
I know I'm being dramatic, but like... 😖😣😫
I mean, I could see this as an opportunity, but nah. I rather wallow in self-pity. 😭18 -
Dear intern, if you really really have the urge to use fucking spaces for indentation because it let's you feel like being some Google hipster, then PLEASE AT LEAST REMOVE THE SPARE ONES WHEN YOU FUCKING COPY PASTE CODEBLOCKS!!!1!!1111!
I'm perfectly OK if people wanna use spaces if they use it in an OCD-proof manner.
Nah, let's be honest: Spaces are a filthy way to indent stuff. Tabs are in a lot ways superior and if an editor can't render tabs correctly, the editor is a piece of worm puke.2 -
Facebook 2FA:
Want to log in? Sure, authorize your login. Oh you've authorized it? Nah you can't get in. Log in again.
2FA, excellent technology, except when it's implemented by "move fast and break things" Facebook.
Facebook Marketplace:
Want to buy $listing? Sure, you can send a message to the seller to ask for details. Oh, you want to send them a message? Nah sorry, you can't send messages to this person. You'll have to go to their profile, send them a message there and do it not with our le fancy instant messages but by manually typing it in. Because you know, reasons. Message approvals or something like that probably. Because why on Earth would Facebook support its own ecosystem?!
Move fast and break things. And breaking things those certified enganeers at Facebook sure do. Fucking pieces of shit.7 -
AWS: change this service by doing this, this, this, this, oh and this, haha we didn't mention this - now do this, umm and this too!
Me: oooooookay - looks good!
AWS: yeah- nah bro, thats fucked!4 -
I get angry every fucking time when I see such method signature:
method(int, int, int, string, string, string, string)
Sounds scary, doesn't it?
Nah. That's the reason our IDEs are so complex. So, I change this and put proper data value/struct class instead, just to make this much readable and understandable for everyone.
And, every time there is a fella that asks this utterly stupid question:
What about performance impact?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa fuckyutitititiigig
And. I. Have. To. Run. Performance. Tests.
Because noone understands performance and computers so I have to prove there is nothing to worry about.
I know when I will go somewhere else I will have to again prove some fuckwit that web applications are so complex already, so adding a new data structure doesn't impact its performance.12 -
Properly setting the height on my 3d printer and spending time tweaking settings? Nah.
Putting pieces of cardboard under the bed until it prints okay is the way to go -
As someone into the cutting edge research in tech, it is my pleasure to inform you that I finally bought a pair of Bluetooth headphones. 😁
Yeah, nah, the irony ain't lost on me.30 -
Recruiter:
I have an excellent opportunity for you! You're experience is exactly what my client is looking for.
Me: (Just got laid off a week's go) Awesome! Send me the details.
Recruiter: here they are
10+ years experience with Java, Spring frameworks...
My thoughts: Hmm I only worked with java for two years 3 years ago. Since it's been full-stack JavaScript. Total of 5 years in industry...
Me: Nah, doesn't look like my type of position... Thanks though
Recruiter: Just go interview and try it out.
<Proceeds to blow up my phone several times a day for a few days>
To Recruiters: Know when to stop. Also, read my LinkedIn profile. Where it says, looking for full-stack JavaScript opportunities.4 -
I think my manager is angry on me or something.
I told him that I can do mobile app development as well as make API. He said nah, let's just out source it to this India based company and I can do the support once it's on production.
Goodbye 60k5 -
Sprint planning:
PO: I have a great idea for a new game changing feature
Team: cool, let’s talk requirements, etc
PO: nah, I trust you can come up with the best implementation possible
Sprint demo:
Team: presents the feature
PO: Why are you guys always doing it your way, instead of following my vision?!
Every single sprint...3 -
!multirant
1. MonoDevelop
Installed Unity for a game I'm working on. Realized I didn't reinstall VS when my SSD got corrupted. Didn't install VS plugin w/ Unity.
So now I have MonoDevelop. It's not a bad editor, but PLEASE. IF YOU ARE GOING TO HIGHLIGHT A FUNCTION WITH RED BECAUSE IT DOESNT EXIST IN THE CLASS, THEN TELL ME, WHAT THE FUCK EXISTS IN THE CLASS!
2. UnityJS
Unity's JS implementation is terrible.
First, let's throw basic syntax shit out on the window. string.toUpperCase? Nah, let's make it string.ToUpperCase to annoy the shit out of devs.
AND SOME OF THE STANDARD FUNCTIONS ARENT EVEN FUCKING WORKING!
Need to use parseInt(string, 2)? WELL GO FUCK YOURSELF, BECAUSE WE DIDNT IMPLEMENT THAT SHIT.
...or use C# I guess...
FUCK UNITY.
🖕🖕🖕15 -
Fucking Square Enix Website is just a huge pile of shit. NOTHING WORKS!
Wanna change your password? Nah sorry an error occured.
Wanna change your username? Nah sorry I'll just show you a loading symbol forever.
Wanna add a game to your collection? Nah sorry the "add" button is on fucking holiday and doesn't do anything.
Wanna change your avatar? Nah sorry I'll just redirect you and don't do anything.
Most amazing part is where you log in, then get redirected to the home page but it still shows the "Log in" button. Then you click on that "Log In" button and wosh! Home page reloads and tada! You're logged in!
Seriously who let this code into production? Also I know that you're using GraphQL now, due to an error message. Thank you!
Fucking bullshit...6 -
Software development best practices: decouple your code
Apple, on applying a bold text style: Nah.
5 -
Tried mx 17 linux today. Was completely blown away by how fucking good the system is. I am really tempted to nuke my windows installation in one of my computers and just run this baby from it. Nothing is really holding me back from it. I already have two other macs and another ubuntu laptop. Can think of a reason why i would need windows at this time but i am still hesitant.
Plus...i am taking on a big rails project.....might be good to have this thing set up for it as are the other two macs. Mmmmmhmm decissions decissions.
What do y'all think? Yes or nah?4 -
When you've written out a grand and glorious rant or maybe an idea for a new feature, you're about to hit Post, then suddenly you realise - "Nah, that's shit" and close the modal.
-
!rant
I promised myself I wouldnt cry but ... nah I wont.
So I got the job and today was my first day of work, well not precisely work but introduction to the cultuure of the place, signing tons of paper, I probably sold my soul but who cares?, and I met my team, so far everything seems cool, except tthat I will be using windows and wont be able to use any streaming websites or services (yt, spotify, deezer, etc) yes I know, there are ways around it, but come on guys I dont wanna start screwing my first week of work, anyway everything is cool, even the food is tasty there iis only one thing left, my workspace Im an extremely bad decorator so I need ur help, (and yes I know i have to have a duck and a devrant stressball) but apart from that guys and gals, any ideas? So far ive thought about a debugging body, a lava lamp and an extra monitor.15 -
It's cute how most companies think that someone will take the time to personally hack them. Like nah mate there's countless bots running around the internet like a rabid pack of dogs sniffing ip addresses and running exploit, one of the stragglers will pick you off...
-
You know what sucks? Being forced by your teacher to use his crappy e-learning platform which isn't even close to final and therefore completely buggy. Oh you clicked in that compiler window? Nah now you can't click back in the editor window, better save and reload the page again. And thats only the beginning...5
-
My friend who works in marketing told me the other day that he would like enter IT world to earn more. I have told him that company had opened position for junior SEO/SEM which in theory is very close to what he is doing right now. His base salary would double and there are bonuses and commissions. I have told him that I could get him that job, but what I heard back? "Nah I don't to want to do that" and started whining again about his salary...2
-
You know that feeling when a non-techie decision maker understands you and makes the right calls? Nah, me neither.
-
!rant
In the office, sometimes we order food for lunch.
Me: *goes outside the office to make the call*
*Coding partner arrives while I'm on phone*
Me: *realize that I forgot to ask him if he wanted food* Hey dude, do you want to order something?
Him: *thinks* Nah, I'm fine, I brought my own lunch
Another Guy: That's good because we already called!
Me: Yeah, but it doesn't matter, I can call and tell them "Order++"
Him: Nah dude, tell him "++order", because maybe he'll bring the orders then go back and realize that he missed one
<<<<
I don't know, it was funny for me 🤷♂️1 -
trying to install devkitARM:
>don't wanna install pacman for one special snowflake library
>download source
>sh some-bad-buildscript.sh
"can't extract /-.tar"
>???
>report issue
"lol just use pacman skrub"
>I DON'T WANNA FUCKING USE PACMAN YOU TROGLODYTE, MAYBE HELP ME WITH BUILDING SOURCE?????
"nah, just use pacman, it'd be dumb to provide a copy for every package manager"
>EVERYONE ELSE DOES THAT. YOU ARE THE EXCEPTION, NOT EVERYONE ELSE.
*fucker marks issue as spam, doesn't help me*
i'm gonna fucking stab somebody i swEAR TO FUCK
https://github.com/devkitPro/...
Turns out i'm banned from making another issue to try and ACTUALLY GET HELP THIS TIME.
"You can't perform this action at this time" isn't fooling anyone, GitHub, we all know what happens when you get errors like this7 -
Hey... Is this... A picture of Napolean crossing the alps while giving devRant a shameless plug?
Nah. Can't be. Everyone knows that he's a soulless PM. Figures that he's using light theme.
2 -
PhD saga:
The applications have closed and yours truly shall await the results, which could come anytime in January or February.
And so I wait. I hate this limbo since there is nothing for me to do to impact the outcome. What's worse is that I am absolutely unmotivated to do anything else. Since this project is literally my dream, and despite how I'm trying to mentally prepare myself in case I don't get in, there's just something in my brain that goes like "nah. I just want this shiney thing. Just this and nothing else". So I don't even know what to do with myself.
*Sigh*5 -
4 years ago
Me: you probably shouldn’t use an IDE, you would learn a lot more about the language if you did things manually.
JavaFriend: Nah I’m all good
Me: alright you do you
4 years LATER
Me: *gets text* oh it’s from JavaFriend. *opens text*
JavaFriend: “dude so I decided to stop using my IDE’s and start doing things manually and I’m learning so much”
Me: ...
Me: I know. I’ve been doing it like this for a reason.
I know IDEs are helpful and good to use but personally I like to work without them and I feel it helps you learn the language more of you go without it.
If you have opinions on the topic in general lemme know.26 -
--Typical Wednesday Afternoon--
Me: "Have you finished the homework?"
Her: "Nah, I'm close! I'll be done before the test on Friday."
Teacher: "Here's three more assignments I need done before your test to prove understanding."
Her:
1 -
the real truth is that web dev has been running around in circles on itself for over a decade now
"but every framework is 'new' and 'shiny'!!!!"
nah, just more sugar on the same exact concepts that have been around since day 17 -
*sighs heavily, utters a few profanities, starts updating resume*
This one is on me. I thought I had vetted this place well and asked the right probing questions during the interview, the core product is very cool but the company is too functionally immature.
it feels like Im in a relationship with someone who is really nice, very attractive and clearly very book-smart but has absolutely zero emotional intelligence and even less of a clue in general about what they actually want and need from the relationship. And to that I say:
“…yeah nah.” -
Built a whole test suite around our Laravel app which has been pointed out to exec as slowing down CI and yielding no value to the user.
Arguing it’s ensuring something our users is using doesn’t accidentally break just gets brushed off as incompetence.
Oh well, I’ll just skip tests in CI and continue writing and running tests on my own as I don’t feel confident just cowboy fixing things.2 -
Bought a new 4TB disk for my gaming rig, pulled out the old 1TB one and plugged it back on my old machine. Installed Ubuntu Server. Instalation went well after I figured I needed the IOMMU turned on.
Later went to play some BfA on the gaming rig and... No boot disk recognized. Ahn?
My SSD is plugged in. SATA cable is well seated. Thing was working not 30min before...
After a loooong time trying to figure out if it was hardware or micro$hit's Windows 10, I finally figured it:
It seems Windows installed its EFI partition on the old HDD. So my SSD is basically a single, large NTFS volume. Now I need to download the Win10 ISO, boot up the install disk and use the cmd prompt to create a new EFI partition on my SSD. Ugh.
Fucking Windows didn't think to install its boot manager on its own disk. "Nah, just gonna use this random magnetic disk here". Why? My login queues are already huge on WoW, why must this wankstain of an OS annoy me even more?3 -
Don't understand what the hype about Elementary OS was. Used for ca. half a year, do not see any benefit.
If this is supposed to provide "usability" on a Linux kernel, then I am sorry, but in this regard it is a tremendous failure.
All tasks take long, there are all sorts of bugs, today I needed a multi-monitor setup for a presentation "real quick", dear lord was that a shitshow.
Nah, this thing is not for me.14 -
Is it just me or has everyone switched from a thousand ??????? or !!!!!!!!! to even more fucking emojis?!
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔😟😟😟😟😤😤😤😤😤😭😭😭😭😲😲😲😲😲😲12 -
Hey everybody been a while but I have a rant. Swift fucking swift and IOS dev. Okay so been learning swift for some frontend casual work, no worries they are lending me a mac to work in.
Now comes the rant part IOS is fine to work in I dont have any qualms about platform but.. FOR THE LOVE OF COMMON FUCKING SENSE GET SOME FUCKING CONSISTENCY.
You have made swift statically typed language to supposedly make developing more consistant and better fine no worries i dont like static typed languages cause they are unnecessary but fine. then you go NAH FUCK IT EVERYTHING IN A MODULE IS IN GLOBAL SCOPE, FUCK IMPORT STATEMENTS, FUCK MAINTAINABILITY AND FUCK YOU FOR ASKING.6 -
So I work for a store that sells audio and video equipment. My boss asked me to find old stock that is in our system but not on our site.
We have an event at one of our stores in a week. I made a simple quiz - where people can fill out there email and win... something.
So going through the old stock we found something random, and my boss had the "great" idea to use that as the price for the quiz.
Guess what it is...
nah you won't
ITS A FUCKING TEAPOT.... I AM NOT KIDDING YOU - our audio video store is giving away a teapot as a price!?!?2 -
I'm the only one who after saying "nah, come on, I will backup it tomorrow, what could happen?", spends the day after by reinstalling Windows (after an awesome crash) and praying that the project he was working on for months is still there?1
-
Does anybudy still use Adobe Animate/Flash for web animations?
They teach it at my school and at the moment I see no reason to use it. I'm probaly faster writing it by hand in CSS / JS, and it will run smoother that the animate files...6 -
!dev
So after 5 months of complaining and ISP denying that the modem was at fault for the issues ("because they'd get more complaints if it was") while trying to rip us off as well[1], they finally gave in to sending us one of the modems "intended for their business users"[2].
Low and behold... I haven't had any issues yet in the past few days (as opposed to having issues between 3 and 8 times a day).
Nah lads, surely wasn't the piece of shit old modem that is known to have a severe design flaw right? :^)
Must have been my router and devices behind it right? :^)
References:
1: https://devrant.com/rants/4378988/...
2: https://devrant.com/rants/4399477/...2 -
Literally removing the sleep(10);
Nah jokes aside, reworking my entire code from scratch based on what I drew up on a board.
Sometimes visualisation of processes and control flow can really help you write better code.9 -
I work with content. More specifically I work on content migration and improvement.
We connect to many platforms and pull and push documents into it. This one time we had to connect to some outrageously expensive (6 figures) system which we obviously couldn't afford to buy just for testing. The client wouldn't give us a testing server either.
My literal warning: "We need a testing server because we're gonna push it until it breaks. Then we know the limit." Client: "nah it will be fine." Us: "I promise you the server will go down..." Client: "It's a stable system. You can test in your own folder on our server"
10 minutes later we had an angry client because the server crashed due to overload.
I'm not sure if I'm annoyed or amused :p -
Today in the land of cactii.
A broken update, a sever that dies for unknown reasons violently, an HAPRoxy bug which fix uncovered another bug in an application which needed another bugfix, an meeting at 12 where I was already drinking beer, yet another dev who doesn't know how to solve problems on their own...
Nah. It's fine. I guess my next vacation will be to the looney bin.
The thought of pure uninterrupted quietness gives me a raging hardon.1 -
Me: I should be doing this SOAP service thats is due thursday.
Mind: nah let's answer stackoverflow questions.7 -
You know what a fucking good place for 1000s of mp4s, pdfs, doc files, exes and svgs is? Yeah, the bloddy SVN,which mirrors to git.
And how about a ibm websphere install zip with tiny 1.3gb?
And of cause you store your fuckin perl and Shellscripts, that have been written by a plain lunatic and that are responsible for installing the crap in the repo.
What? One repo for one component? Nah, cramp like 150 different projects into on repo.
And the most important scripts have to be kept unversionized ... For reasons.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg of shit.
Btw. websphere ships its own apache2.2 and its own security lib and its own openssl compilation, with ibm java ... Filesystem hierarchy standard? Dafuq? If you want to find something it better be like where is waldo - right, IBM? And command arguements? Man pages, usable documentation, usable deployment? How did any of this ever seem like a good idea to anyone?
Go get a koloscopy with a submarine periscope, IBM. -
telco sysadmin: hey maybe we should secure our SMTP server with SSL and password verification so our clients can e-mail safely!
senior exec be like: nah just filter incoming connections for our own IP-range, that'll do.
result: I can impersonate any client of the telco and send e-mail in their name (from any home network connected to that provider), but I can't send e-mail over cellular network.1 -
I'm there trying to find some easy to solve issues for hacktoberfest and github be like. Nah Man !
1 -
I ain't that picky, but the image I am including here makes me feel uncomfortable.
Is it horrible? Nah, shit like this happens all the time. I just feel weird about it due to my manager's constant pixel perfect implementation requirements.
I have been having a crazy week. And I am thankful that at one point during my period of Javadiction(the great Javadiction of 2015 as I called it because I did nothing but Java) I landed on the Velocity template lang.
I quite like templating engines. Always made me think that if I wanted to start with lang design I might start there. Anyways, Velocity is pretty cool and I quite like using it at work.
It makes everyone think that I am the Alpha coder since around these parts it ain't known at all.
-
! Rant
Quick tip for those of you struggling with a error or bug you can't fix.
But that doesn't effect functionality.
Just wrap the code inside a try catch block and don't do anything inside the catch 😂😂. Saved me a lot of hours in my projects.
Nah I'm joking. Don't ever do this8 -
Join's bridge: "hey man, something is wrong with your DB. our app can't connect in any environment, it started after our code release last night"
"Every other app connecting is working as expected, could you rollback your release?"
"nah, that can't be it. we validated it works"
"Then why am i on an outage bridge? call me if it's still broken after you rollback"1 -
Consistent theme:
Me: hey, we should really do/use X
Someone above me: Nah we don't need it/we already use Y
1 week later (or less):
SAM: Hey, I was thinking maybe we should start using X
This has happened 5 different times already. 2 of them were security related and only talked about after our infosec guy brought it up.
Don't dismiss ideas your interns have just because we're interns, we might have good suggestions.4 -
Internet Explorer decided to overflow something outside of a flexbox.
overflow:hidden suddenly makes Internet Explorer actually wrap the text, as it does in literally any other fucking browser.
> word-wrap?
< nah I'll ignore that.
> overflow?
< Oh shit, let's wrap the content!
Ugh, I really hope that people stop using this crappy browser in the next five years.5 -
!rant
Managed to find an advantage of IE, and it's not for downloading Firefox or Chrome.
Nah, I just discovered that you can actually add a shortcut on your bar task on Win7 with the favicon of the website (I guess it's the favicon), and IE will directly open to it with slight minor color changes.
So now when I need to check if any commit were made on the repository, I have a shortcut to the website so I can check fastly o/
(why I use IE for that ? Because Firefox and the proxy have some issues, and I had bad experience with Chrome. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But IE does the small job I give him, so I don't complain)1 -
going out of the cafe when some stranger stops me, he asks if I'm a programmer, said his friend told him,
i was like yeah, i mostly do web stuff, but can work on any project.
he then said, nah it's just about hacking that person, or even just his facebook account, i suppose it can be done..
then he looked at me noticing that I'm a few mood calories away from murdering his sorry ass.
he asks if it's not bothersome to ask
i said nah it's fine, just that every word you said after "hack" is bothering me terribly,
he just stepped back and walked away4 -
Me: "Need help with build config problems, please help almighty documentation page!"
Docs Page: "Nah fam, I got 4 headers about problems with no text, a blank code example, and 2 error 404 pages."
And that's why I don't like build pipelines. -
[CMS Of Doom™]
Ah, yes, their built-in bullshit newsletter module just sent the n-th user n emails. Wonderful considering n=368.
The culprit? Better don't ask...
OK, anyway: So the mailer is running as a CRONjob, but nah, not as a console script call but by a public HTTP GET URL call, fucking obviously (it's the CMS Of Doom for a reason).
So these fucking imbeciles "implemented" an ob_start() callback where HTML links are - for whatever fucking reason - modified by some regex (obviously everybody knows parsing HTML by Regex is trivial). In this case the link was somehow modified to recall the mailer Cronjob...
This must have upset the pngoing mailing process thus spamming mails. Whyyyy
And I've thought I've seen it all after 6 months in this legacy hell...
This is why you don't run a company consisting of only beginners in PHP (in cluding their "CEO")! -
!rant
I'm starting to be really, idk, crazy, but I just can't find anything similar to OneNote, but with SYNC option, for Android and Linux. What do you guys recommend. Already tried Evernote but it's two-devices only limit in free version, nah.3 -
In the past months, every week or so, boss asked me:
"So what are you doing now?"
My typical reply was "finished thing and then gonna move on the oculus project to update that"
To which, he always replied with: "Nah, leave it, focus on all the other platforms"
Today we have to send the Oculus version to a big client and yet nothing is updated because it never was a main thing to update.
I will surely fuck something's up on this app, but not gonna take the blame. -
So I got some new methods to call, when I tried to call them the usual way, it didn't work quite well.
Surprised, I asked the coder of them.
"Yeah, we're using the new way, you don't mind ?"
nah, no problem, I'm starting to develop my skill in divination and mind reading, that was just my usual training.1 -
Oh great, now garbage websites can even break the browser's reload button. Wanna reload the page that never stops loading or crashes its scripts? Click the button and watch the browser do fuck all and a little bit of nothing.
Nah, you see to refresh that polished rotten turd you gotta close the tab and then restore it, and if that doesn't work open a new one and copy-paste the URL because who the fuck doesn't like some invalid state.
Can't wait for the day I have to shutdown and disconnect the battery because some idiot messed up the layout.3 -
So the other day my car broke down and since the shop wanted a lot of money I asked a friend of mine who knowns his way around cars for help.
Just when we finished repairing it I was like "whenever the Zombie apocalypse starts you'll be really useful, me instead won't be since no one might need computers anymore" . His response was epic:
"Nah, you will simply build a terminator with your computer skills and it will kill all Zombies!"
Now I am actually looming forward to the Zombie apocalypse!
TL;DR: us geeks will build terminators in case of zombies!3 -
Somehow, shit's more fucked up on Debian systems for me than it is on Arch. Debian's supposed to be the stable one, and Arch the one that breaks, but nah.6
-
QA vs Devs
QA PERSON 1: "They are sending the same thing again!? Did they actually make some change or do they think we're stupid and won't notice that it's the same as the last one?"
QA PERSON 2: "Is this a game of chicken? - Who caves in to the pressure first, loses."
QA PERSON 3: "Nah, it's not a big deal, just let it pass... it's going to be easier for everyone. It's not a critical thing."
On the dev side:
"They accepted it this time, with no changes. LOL They're stupid and useless." -
!dev
Was looking for an anime to watch this evening, looking into netflix recommended:
Guilty Crown
Nah i dont wanna cry today
Charlotte
I said no crying
Clannad
....
Angel Beats
I SAID NO CRYING OKAY?15 -
GOD I FUCKING HATE UNITY AND FUCKING C# SO MUCH
EVERY TIME I TRY TO MAKE IT DO WHAT I FUCKING WANT IT TO IT'S LIKE "mmmmmm nah lmao" LIKE FUCK WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FOLLOW FUCKING 3 LINES OF CODE NO MATTER HOW I PUT THEM OR ORDER THEM YOU BRAINDEAD FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT PROGRAM4 -
"God we've got an awful lot of technical debt, there's no process for anything here, no one knows how to use it, how it works or what even what it really does. Should we try to spend some time documenting and fixing that since this problem is going to keep cropping up again and again and the guy who wrote it left 2 years ago"
"Nah, the execs want features, fuck the fact that we are constantly struggling to meet deadlines due to being horrendously understaffed and everything takes 3 times as long as it should due our crippling technical debt. Lets keep hacking away with our old rusty saw instead of taking 10 mins to sharpen it"5 -
(old, but..) JavaScript drinking game!
1. Think of a word
2. If that word exists as a JavaScript library, take a shot!
And there I was, thinking to myself.. "labyrinth.. nah.. that can't possibly exist already.." and oops, little did I know.6 -
I fucking hate DLL mother fucking hell.
And fuck you Microsoft.SqlServer.BatchParser.dll
.
.
.
Kinda relief?
.
.
.
Nah.. I still got to resolve this issue.5 -
sensible naming stuff for readability? nah.. it's not like someone will read my code after i'm done here right?
1 -
Me: yeh with your smartphone, I think you need at least 1 gig to do stuff, which is part of the plans nowadays.
Person: Nah i would just get a pay as you go, 1MB per month is sufficient right? Mega is larger than gig.
Me: .............. yeh and i'm 1.72 cm tall.1 -
Ever had your computer give up on you?
I have a pretty slow work desktop and I restarted it and clicked the start menu button for outlook.
It froze for a second, and after trying for about five seconds, it just REMOVED THE BUTTON from under my mouse?? As if to say "nah, I quit". Seriously??6 -
Installing the nvidia drivers on my linux machine is the bigges nightmare I've come across sofar. As soon as I have installed it and reboot, blackscreen and literally no way around it. Starting the desktop, nah stuck in a crashloop. Installing different driver, same issue. Using diffrent distro, that shit wont even boot properly. Uninstalling the driver seems to fix it but whats the point of running only on third gen i5 graphics. Shit cant even handle 1080p yt properly. And there are ppl saying if it aint broke dont fix it. FFS I DESPISE MAKING COMPROMISES WHEN I FUCKING KNOW IT CAN WORK BUT ATM IT IS NOT IN THE FREAKING MOOD TO DO SO!4
-
*Coding on a website*
Wow this image is huge! Should I give it to my Graphics Designer? Nah I can fix this.
*Opening Gimp*
2 min later....
Image completely destroyed, fml!3 -
Nah I'll quickly fix my arch installation, can't take that long...
- my brain at 12pm (about half an hour ago)
Plottwist: I didn't fuck up the whole system and it's booting again.
I didn't expect that myself -
And this is how it starts. I bought a Raspberry Pi 3 B+, quite some time ago. Plain board, just the board and a case. Why? Well, I have no idea. I always wanted one for some reason... and finally got one.
I got a good sd card for it, and flashed raspbian and... now what? What should I do with this?
*Looks up "Cool RPi projects"*
*Nah, I already have a NAS... No, wouldn't really use a media center... play games?*
*Well, let me just install sshd and come back to it later.*
Today, I run pi-hole, jekyll, node, gitd, a ton of other things that ends with d... I am even considering buying an extra one (maybe two).
Now I'm really afraid of what would happen if I give in to the urge of buying sensors and add-on boards.2 -
Fucking hell it pisses me off when you go to so much trouble to streamline processes, set up systems that improve workflow and solve issues, find better solutions and show how they make life easier... and people are like "yeah nah let's just do things the same old shitty way we've always done things".
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻5 -
Just needing to vent a bit...
We start off with classic asp.net & Xamarin. K.
Then we run into the shitshow that's lackluster documentation and heavy push for asp.net core.
Whatever, will just handroll things.
K. Azure is quickly turning expensive..
Well let's find alternatives.
Yeah, no Linux ain't gonna work.
Wanna shell out for a windows server? Nah.
K. Well, let's rewrite in asp.net core then.
Nginx proxy passthrough to kestrel. Ez.
Now.. wtf is the deal with mssql behaving like a turd on Linux?
Oh now some security jibber about telemetry and adding Microsoft keys to root.
Whatever. I can do PHP & MariaDB then.
1001 things wrong about Xamarin now.
Mostly performance related.
Especially cuz custom renderers for everything.
& Abused onPropertyChanged.
Uh la la, look at that sexy thing called react native.
Hippytyhop new tool for the job.
Ugh wee, what's this ? Customer impatient & deadline for months worth in Xamarin => 1 week.
Whelp I be fudge..6 -
Project with partner company, during the meeting I asked them how can we secure the communication between two services. I suggested api keys, tokens. They were like nope, no need. But I asked them for their IPs to do whitelisting on our side in Nginx.
But their side, nah not even whitelisting, no tokens, no validations. If one has address, can send anything from anywhere.
How hard would it be to do at least, AT LEAST simple token validation. And they are using the very old IIS server. I think for them as long as data flows in as expected, it is fine.3 -
In Switzerland, when you are unemployed you need to candidate for a certain amount jobs per month in order to get money from the insurance...
So I applied to complete my list, but never intendet to actualy go to this (FUCKING) company... And here I am, and I want out :-(16 -
Really not in the mood for work.
But since that is not an acceptable reason to ask for a day off, I wonder what excuses I can make to get out of working today... 🤔11 -
Devs: How should we design the UI?
Design & Marketing: We were thinking something like the Ferrari website (or app that has nothing to do with our industry)
Devs: How about we add <feature that all of our competitors have>? We're falling quite behind on that and its hindering us from connecting with their REST API.
Marketing: Nah that's too complicated, and our customers haven't requested it. How about we add some animal animations over there instead?1 -
So a guy told me about a problem he has, and I showed him a tool that I have built that solve his exact problem, but he answered "Nah thanks I am good".
What ? Why ? Are you stupid ? It's free3 -
Here's something that should be an unspoken rule in the dev space:
DON'T MAKE A LESSON OF YOUR TEAMMATE'S MISTAKES (OR WHAT YOU CONSIDER A MISTAKE).
More context:
I defined a column as `mediumText` in a Laravel app. What the asshole team lead did after seeing that in my PR, is taking that snippet and blast that out in the company dev slack channel on full display, saying - "Guys we shouldn't take more space in the database than we need to. If the value for the column would be < 255 characters please take VARCHAR not MEDIUMTEXT".
I mean, what an asshole !!! You could've told me that privately and I'd have happily changed it. The reason I did so, is to be safeguard myself from the future, in case the value length increases or decreases. Last thing I want to see in the logs is "Column size is too short for column {COLUMN}, value truncated".
But nah nah, let's take a screenshot of that snippet and `teach` everyone else what should and shouldn't be done according to your `standards`.
Fucking piece of shit team lead.16 -
When you get to work and just want the one Windows machine you're forced to have to do something... Anything really. Nah.
2 -
So there is this project of my firm that is comepletly dependant on Facebook api, I've actually told it many times to managers at first but they've just waved their hands over it.
Now what didn't happen. Facebook data leak and the api being taking down ..juust a week before the project going public.
Our app is still not reviewed and not able to access the so vital api and there are actually many similar projects getting published (even Facebook Local greatly rivals to our app, actually killing it because they have native data... And we don't have any. )
I told them again. "Nah we will have this and this feature that makes it soo exceptionall."
And you are sitting here thinking if the salary you have asked for is still good enough to stay or to run away.
(Well, I am still getting some coding experience from this so that's why I stay, and oh yeah I have the backend repo only for myslef because except the frontend dev no managers knows what git is. This is how freedom feels. )2 -
I read the other day here about people not reading the error messages shown by the IDE and thought "there can't be people this dumb..."
Well, today I was helping a friend out with his java project and he was trying to figure out an error for at least 10 min so I told him, read the error message, he goes like nah, that won't help, I kept repeating it till he did it and guess what? The explanation was there and helped him figure out the problem.
His excuse? He didn't have the patience to read the message, it was 2 lines long...
How can you be so stupid to the point where your first thought isn't checking out the damn message the IDE gives you? It's there for a fucking reason.1 -
Today I‘ve been investigating a freeze in our app. It took me many hours to narrow it down to the textfield validation regex. And it turned out to be a "catastrophic backtracking" issue.
I‘m a regex noob so I don‘t have a clue how it occurs exactly. But I‘m a bit perplexed about what a seemingly innocent regex can cause.
For me it became another argument against regex now.
I‘ve rewritten the regex into readable code and the freeze is gone.
I could try to fix the regex but… nah. The code is better anyway.7 -
Fuuuuuuuuucking hell. I have a program that parses and generates information from shit I have in a database into a csv file. Shit was simple enough to be done in Python.
Trying to present that shit into fucking pdf files? without drawing shit on x,y coordinates like a retard or without downloading a fucking obscure number of bs shit into the computer? on a fucking WINDOWS machine? fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Ok no problem. Do it in Node. WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK more bullshit with drawing shit line by line. fuck this.
Lol not even going to touch java or c# for this, this is quick.
mmmh perl? nah, php? nah
Well shit I just need to generate data from a csv into a html template and send it away as a docume....go? ok lets....ah....done
Go wins again in my book ladies and gentlemen
It even has fewer lines of code than the php experiments8 -
I'm definitely gonna plan and design my next side project before coding it...
...nah I don't need plans!1 -
Me : Hey, can we add datas in the database so we can test every single possible situation with it ?
Worker : Nah, it's better that you don't touch it, lemme do it.
*Later*
Worker : Hey I've added data to test our code.
Me : *fetch data, see only three similar objects that fits in only a situation, I can't test the others" Thank you, that was really helpful.1 -
A certain app I use occasionally has some premium features that I have been too cheap to buy. Just found the full source code on GitHub. An hour later I have all the premium features for free. Stealing? Nah, my conscious is clear.
To all indie devs out there: if you have paid features, don't make the app open source.11 -
Me: okay lets test this website i made for my iot projects
Apache2: nah nope i aint loading shell stuff
Me: hm seems like a php bug, lets debug locally
Me:
Me: fucking
1 -
What should I learn first, Python or Rust?
All I know currenrlly is JS, and I want to get away from the browsers. And I'm a Linux guy, so Python or Rust seem's like the way to go :-)9 -
Why the industry jumped on photoshop as a web design and layout tool is beyond me. It's like trying to stir coffee with your thumb. I'm a descent photoshop user but have always used inDesign in web mode. Far quicker for chucking around layouts and options (as page). It also exports as rgb png's either full pages or selections with or without transparency (at any resolution). Which are perfect for then optimising in Photoshop (Pixelmator these days) or any other less costly image editor. I hand code my sites then in Coda, love it.3
-
Do you care about your workplace/employer?
I feel quite a bit of stress, and a good friend of mine told me I "probably do it to myself" (working too hard and/or caring too much)
From him I heard that I care too much about stuff I don't get payed to do.
(Think management and server related stuff while I'm just a web developer)
So my question is either, do you care about what's going on? Do you think nah fuck it? Where do you draw the line?3 -
** Weekend Arrives **
Mind : Ah finally, I can sleep a little extra and turn alarms off.
Body : Nah fam, we are waking up 7 AM and be fully charged.2 -
Work is still going great, but I'm killing myself with general anxiety about other things...
Covid, laptop is gone for now, phone is acting up, I don't have any backup device, I'm running out of money, need to fix my teeth soon enough, health-wise I'm pre-diabetic and almost obese, (not look-wise, rather weight-wise) as well I will need to check for hormones because I'm growing body hair more than I should and still am losing head hair more than I should, and I should quit smoking.
... but I still love the work I do, so what does life and gods have against me? :|
I have been taking deep breaths more often to just not lose my shit these days. Like, unless I end up in a great situation next, this all is so unfair.3 -
backend-dev : *takes time to config the menu module to specs*
"it works but the front-end guy justs needs to fix 1 or 2 css details"
boss - "nah i'll just buy an other module" -
"npm i {name} - - save-dev"
-ERROR: "{name} needs {dependency} v5.0.1"
"Oh, okay, I install that one then, no problem"
"npm i {dependency@5.0.1} - - save-dev"
-ERROR: "{dependency@5.0.1} needs {dependency} v3.1.1}
"Oh, okay, makes sens I guess, I'll" install that one to then."
"npm i {dependency@3.1.1} - -save-dev"
ERROR:"Nah"
"Son of a.."8 -
Should I replace my Ubuntu w/ Remix OS?
Or should I triple boot? It's legacy boot only. Ugh
Or should I buy a cheap PC?
Nah. I'll just fap.7 -
friend: yo dude, wanna drink?
me: nah man, that stuff kills brain cells.
friend: you say its killing brain cells but i say its just real life dropout to prevent overfitting1 -
Been working for a client in different time zone. We are an offshore team of 18 ppl. Now we have 2 an hour long meetings daily, one is our internal and the other is with the client.
Today I mentioned that we are consuming 36 man hours daily just in the meetings and they were like, nah man, we are good. 🙄🙄 -
Programming is life ❤️
Just as life, it has it's ups and downs, but it's truly satisfying to create complex systems and get them to actually work and be useful to others.
We have only just started with the digitalisation of previously manual, tedious tasks. Imagine what all this saved time and labour could bring us to achieve in areas we haven't yet had the time to explore.
I hope mankind is ready for the ongoing and upcoming challenges regarding data privacy and security.
Nah, in reality, we will be stuck with Fakebook and Tweeter selling all our dickpics to *in Trump voice* "Chiner" and censoring unpopular opinion and discourse.
These "digital parasites" can all go sit on a rusty spike. -
I hate moving parts in headphones... Why can't they atleast make them out of metal. I mean do you really need to make flimsy ass tech to make people buy more of it ? Well that gave me a good idea the headphone drivers and lads are still usable i might hook up a new headphones out metal !... Nah i will just buy a new one (god damn you companies and smart business policies you win again)
1 -
Story so far: Troll is trolling people making a person angry.
Person: You fucking asshole!
Troll: Nah, I'm a virgin.1 -
Random recruiter viewing my linkedin profile:
"oh, this dude knows C#, I gotta send him EVERY single .net job I have"
Nah, mate, I don't know shit about .net or microsoft development in general, furthermore I actually despise developing for either windows or mac os x.
Also, take 2 extra seconds to check I don't have .NET or Microsoft development in my skills list. -
Go for a helpdesk position: Programming is to boring, just writing all the time...
What the FUCK am I trying to learn now?!3 -
I would rant about my life right now i i know people wouldnt understand the problem that Im facing right know.
"Nah. Post it we wanna help, it cant be that bad" - nope i just say nope -
Trying to build a ros workspace inside VMware...
Called up the teammate who put it together:
Me: hey the workspace isn't building for me, do I need to setup anything before I type "make"?
Him: nah dude just type make and ur good, why what error are you getting?
Me: *describes error*
Him: oh lol I never got that error before, idk maybe your machine is just dumb
Me: *uh ok sure dude* let me try some other stuff
*Boots to native install of Ubuntu*
*Build successful*
Me: oh huh that's weird it built on my native installation but not on the VM
Him: oh lol that's not my problem
Seriously dude? First off, screw you Ros for not being able to build in a VM. Secondly, it's entirely your problem! Linux is nice to use, sure, but it's a bit of a problem when the entire team runs off Mac!
😲😲😲😣😥😫😓 -
Hello ranters,I'm a php developer ... I've been removed out of projects twice now due to the fact that database guys would say "nah we don't think php can handle this ,go learn a new language if you want to be in this team " ,then I thought to myself if I could learn another language. .Net came to my mind because the project is going to be for an Enterprise.
Which programming language do you think is the best for an Enterprise software? Thanks
EDIT: They want it in a web version so we could easily push out API's for other platforms like Android apps.11 -
Oh boy, I just made a class with 5 methods and 10111 lines.
I'm "proud" of myself
(It's kind of an autogenerated class for, but nah...)2 -
You're kidding. You know how React, GraphQl, and Jest are made by facebook. You would think that Jest then would be framework of choice for mocking gql queries and responses for a React app. And you would be wrong. You "can, but-", depending on your implementation - ours being based on official sources - not without contorting and duplicating everything related to the query implementation at which you are barely even testing the app itself. We're using named imports from .gql files, for those familiar.
Don't you hate it when it turns out the guy going "nah tests were too hard, we didn't bother" was right.3 -
Me: "Would you like the secure server setup?"
Them: "Nah."
It's for their secure company intranet... *screams* -
That moment when I.. Wait, I think it's when... NAH... Never had one. It doesn't mean I hate it thought. For me it's more: I fall in love with it in the process of learning it.2
-
Colleague's thought process:
Hmm I have observables but I don't understand shit.
Hey I like listeners let's add listeners to all observables.
Should I make the method return an observable and subscribe my listener to it?
Nah I'll erase everything and pass an anonymous class listener to the method so no one can chain a few calls together.
Fuck you and I hope you're reading this!!!
Time to rerewrite 2k lines of fucking code.... -
senior: i don't know css well (which is fine as i don't either), but i want you to do this differently and their suggestion doesn't work, so go figure it out
that working stuff we have on the PR? nah
fml -
Can someone explain to me why every browser (even IE) copys my acts <a> element and somehow moves my subnav outside of my <a> element?! (FUUUUUCK)
This is the html file:
4 -
Are there any good plugins/tools or something for visual studio 15 to turn it into a good IDE for PHP developing?
I'm using Brackets now, i tried Eclipse, PhpStorm (too slow and only a 30 day trial) and Atom so far. But idk, theres always something that makes me thinking like "nah.. thats not the right for me". Now i wanted to try VS. I used it for C++ developing and was pretty much in love with it.6 -
Made me think and treat other people like disposable objects.
I also try to send as few packets to them as a result, u kno', to keeping the noise down.
Nah, just kidding.
But it has given me a solid foundation and framework for understanding for understanding so much in life..
Programming have also granted me something I continue enjoying and that I don't grow bored of quickly...
Particularly object oriented and event driven development have given me a pretty good ground to support me, on my personal endeavors onto noeroscience and understanding of the human mind..
Just for fun and curiosity tho :) -
So,I bought a new laptop (comes with windows preinstalled). I quite like macOS and (some) linux distro. "I'll triple boot, suffer to hackintosh it, install either Ubuntu GNOME or Elementary OS and leave Windows 10" I thought.
Upon further reflection "But why would I need win 10?"
// searches "Why use windows?"
// google "Why is windows so bad"
" Nah, I haven't used win in a long time, I'll give it a go. We were buddies when it was XP. It can't be that bad, it must be better now."
//A few days later it finally arrives
//proceeds to use win10
//unnecessarily complex registration
//makes a new 16gb i7 sluggish
"Let's see what's running on the background"
//downloads ubuntu GNOME, hastily9 -
Had a boss that was not going to let me keep our original data around as a backup, because they said "if you're that convinced that we need the backup around then you must not write very good software". In short, their way of saying I must be a shit developer if I want backups.
Nah bro we keep backups because there's bound to be fuckups, I'm trying to plan, not play petty mind games and stroke your ego.1 -
Looking at jest errors and loads of GitHub and StackOverflow issues, it's no surprise that people claim they don't like testing.
Maybe they would if we got our tooling right.
import { foo } from 'bar';
Nah, that's an unexpected token, jest does not like this syntax.
Using require, like in jest's getting started tutorial isn't compatible with my existing JS libraries exports.
Adding type: "module" in package.json just makes another error message appear instead.
Fucking developer experience!
Why bother with unit tests at all?
How come PHP is 10 years superior to JS when it comes to code quality, unit tests, and static code analysis?
I don't even care about "ES modules". I don't want to "mock" anything either. All I want to do is import a handful of JavaScript functions into another file.
Overengineered web dev stack sucks!3 -
Just helped a colleague. She wanted a list of all files in all subdirectories of a folder. Easy enough, fired up powershell, ls'd everything into a text file in ~\Desktop, jobs done.
About 5 minutes later, she messaged me, telling me she closed the file without saving. So I went over. The file wasn't on her desktop. Quickly recreated the file - again into ~\Desktop but powershell found the file there.
"nah, doesn't matter I'll just overwrite it and be done with it." I thought.
So I did that, and the bloody file still didn't show up.
I had a look at where ~\Desktop is. It's on partition H:. WHO THE FUCK HAD THE BRILLIANT IDEA TO SET H: AS THE HOME DIRECTORY?!2 -
Wow man, them shoulders look broad asf, started working out?
Nah, just started carrying my laptop to work.. -
My own version of spaceinvaders
One tool to unite all the shitty software we have at fucking work (tickets, address book, asset management, remote desktop, ad scripts) -
Me doing ops analysis...
Day1: No way! How the fu
Day2: Nah, someone else will do this...
Day3: Fuck! Why dont we have a Legal Dept
Day4: Okay Im just gonna run an ml to find irregularities
Day5: These scans cannot be ocr-ed...
Day6: br-brute force
2 months later: so there's a problem regarding the Express Contractual Remedies of Contract A and Amendment C... -
Does someone have a clean tool to create flowcharts? All tools that I know look like shit or behave like shit...6
-
PM: Can we setup this new server today ?
Me: Sure, where is the ESXi setup CD ?
PM: ehh, wasn't in the box ?
Me: nah
So Finance team can't ctrl+c, ctrl+v from what we send them and actually buy stuff we need :D1 -
That feeling when you were sick as shh and almost good now after eating good pepperoni sausages and wine, suddenly getting energy and reminiscing about : (1. Biggest priority)
1. Am I really going to play with code side project it's Saturday
2. Nah I'm still going to play Dota or wow or idk
3. Laying in bed devranting and telling to myself am I that tired and lazy to do the above ones? Nah it's just socializing
4. Laying in the bed turning the phone display down ?
Yeah tough choices probably get some wine and do some music idk man -
Life is good.
Nah, that's it, not a rant, just wanna cheer you up for a few seconds of your today's dev agony. <34 -
Me: I want to deploy a simple WCF Service in a Docker container on Windows Server....
Docker Whale: nah bro....
Me: but but but you have been working with Windows for about a year this should be a simple simple task
Docker Whale: here let me your IP address every time so you can't ping locally or guess what I'm going to next. -
Like tsunami? Nah I was still a student back then.
Nowadays, meetings and appointments.
Few years ago was flood and frequent black out.
More than 5 years ago, it was flood, black out and slow connection.2 -
My current employer...
In 3000 coworkers they have many things, but a team is not one of them... Fuuck -
So I'm looking into Scala, can someone tell me a good reason to learn Scala? What is the main purpose of this programming language? I have done some research my self, I would like to know what the community thinks though!
-
My Android professor: "Let's target Android 2.1. What is that compat library Android Studio included? Nah, let's remove it." He's on par with the latest features for sure!7
-
write simple working code with some duplicated code (less than 10 lines) and have compile time safety , NAH
write more complicated code you have to spend time fixing thanks to PR feedback -
Another question for Database-Gurus:
Is a MySQL table with 4 columns and about 42000+ rows considered 'big' or should the table be split in smaller pieces?5 -
Terraform + helm-chart ... I really ned a break. Who the fuck invented this shit.
The HCL format sucks
The documentation sucks
The dev tools suck
The debug output sucks
But I'm ok with that, I can manage.
But today really it shot the bird ... I can't have a fucking comma in a string? Because idk why the fuck helm-release tries to parse that fucking string and wants to make an array or whatever out of it? Why, you fucking abomination?
Something in the docs? Nah, who reads them anyway.
Because you know it's totally not strange that a string is analyse and oh wait there's a comma in it, the dev surely wants me to make an array out of it, because you know ...
So now I have to escape my fucking comma to prevent it to parse my fucking string. I just want to have a fucking string you hideous monstrosity ....1 -
Why do you ask “can you {do this/that}” when “no” is not an option? Why don’t dare dare to say “please {do this/that}”?
Yeah nah I’m still gonna say no. But fuck your hypocrisy too9 -
Chamomile, coding, and clonazepam.
Days like these make me feel like I’ve never had an anxiety disorder... until I open a *.java.
Nah ‘ma stay the fuck away. -
Visual Studio's Test Explorer is a piece of shit.
Maybe the user wants to repeat the last test run without rebuilding? No can do. Maybe the user didn't add or remove any tests, but just needs to rebuild without running test discovery again? Nah. Maybe the user just needs to discover tests from THE ONLY ASSEMBLY WHICH WAS REBUILT? Too frickin' bad.
A 120-second turnaround (30 to build, 90 to discover) just to _start_ a test run is bloody atrocious. Especially when VS decides to run test discovery twice in a row for no given reason.
*sigh*...
I'd use ReSharper's runner, but unfortunately it isn't capable of running xUnit v2 tests when you've designated a custom XUnitTestFramework. -
Question for database gurus:
I need to save the openig hours of my clients in a database. Each day should have different opening hours and also the possibility for 2 breaks during the opening hours. There should also be an option for different local holidays for each client.
How to I acomplish this in a clean/performant/scalable way? Thank you for your answers!10 -
I want to build a small personal linux server from an old PC
specs:
Intel atom n7 blah blah
Intel HD graphics card
4gb of ram
six cell battery(its a laptop)
sata hard drives
I was going to go for free nas but I read that I'll need to connect the PC to the router via a lan cable, I dont have a router and very costly for me rn to purchase one.
I also feel like it will end in tears but I'll try
pass or nah?16 -
How do you handle error checking? I always feel sad after I add error checking to a code that was beautifully simple and legible before.
It still remains so but instead of each line meaning something it becomes if( call() == -1 ) return -1; or handleError() or whatever.
Same with try catch if the language supports it.
It's awful to look at.
So awful I end up evading it forever.
"Malloc can't fail right? I mean it's theoetically possible but like nah", "File open? I'm not gonna try catch that! It's a tmp file only my program uses come oooon", all these seemingly reasonable arguments cross my head and makes it hard to check the frigging errors. But then I go to sleep and I KNOW my program is not complete. It's intentionally vulnerable. Fuck.
How do you do it? Is there a magic technique or one has to reach dev nirvana to realise certain ugliness and cluttering is necessary for the greater good sometimes and no design pattern or paradigm can make it clean and complete?15 -
Today was the first time I realy used wordpress...
FUUUUCKING wp, the editor is nofucking shit better than ms notepad! How is it that so many people are using it and actually like it?! fuuuck....
What alternatives do you use for your homepages? I personaly prefer bolt.ch1 -
When you ask for help, and they tell you you are on your own with this one bud. No wonder I hate my job some days, the fact that the project is due at 4, it's 2:30, and I still need help because I'm lost and am said one man army of IT. Nah, your on your own with this one. FML
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Not coding rant
I forgot my student ID today and was trying to enter a building.
Called my friend to swipe me in
Security: nah you can't do that
Me: why, I'm a student here
Security: Weill that student id only shows that he is a student
Me: I can provide you my student ID number and state ID
Security: no, either you go get a new student ID now, or you can't enter the building
Wtf? I've asked other people to swipe me in before and the security didn't day shit
I went home and filed a report against that guy
Straight up abusing his power7 -
!tech
( sorry to those who have to bear with my non tech posts that i put too often. my tech/work life has been fine so far, its my personal life that is fucked up and venting it anonymously gives me some peace/solutions)
I sometimes feel that being brought up in a loveless home where i have only seen parents fighting and throwing abuses/stuff at each other, i haven't got the knowledge about how to raise a loving family.
The only goal we seem to have is to fight out our misery-filled, middle class life, and keep running for getting wealth.
Le my parents:
- Go outside in evenings/weekends? nah why bother, we don't wanna see each others' faces
- Spend time/ share room together? nah why bother, we don't wanna see each others' faces
- Family trip? nah why bother, we don't wanna see each others' faces . We can take our trips separately with our our religious/work friends
- visit relatives? nah why bother, relatives are bad.
I am not blessed with a lot of relationships, so i like to compare each of the bonds i got. I am playing the role of a son/single child and friends of some dudes. I am currently not playing the role of a lover, so i don't know about it, but my relationship with my friends is more exciting than mine with my family.
Those guys just wanna do everything together if it had been in there hands. 3 out of our 5 guy gang has joined the same group, 2 of them live on the same rented floor , and 2 of them work in same office. They want to keep their 24 hrs as a chill gang hanging together, but we somehow have restricted our group hangouts to weekends.
Even then , whenever we meet, its like we won't go back till 2 am. useless banter, cussing, daring stuff , etc. life is exciting with my boys .
I feel this kind of energy is something i would want in any of my relationship. but i have no idea how people create this magic in groups of 2. i am usually the most boring person to talk to, when i am alone. because i simply don't know how 2 people who vow to spend their lives together can keep each other happy, interested and content
I feel this is such a disastrous thing in my life that i won't be able to sustain any relationship/family even if i somehow get one :/2 -
Bo bo bo have you seen Joe?
Nah just kidding, but what the dev rant plus or sponsor tag or what ever its called, what its features?4 -
I point out to a guy which documentation and which section he should read to solved his problem, 30minutes later I swing by and the dude sits and watches tutorials on YouTube. I ask him "did you figure it out and solved the problem?", he replies " nah! This tutorial is really great, it shows step by step...blah blah.. I can send it to you! We should all watch it tomorrow after standup" ... Really? He honestly believes were getting paid to drink latte watch tutorials on YouTube? I almost imploded at that point, went into "whatever"-mode and seriously pondered how much mentoring sucks some days. But seriously tutorials on the tube were targeted for 14year old beginners a last time I checked,did the world do a double revolution and left me behind?? Or is that guy just plainly trying to hide the fact how incompetent he is at reading docs?
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git commit -m "The test core dumps, I go home" && git push
(OpenSSL is like running a marathon: It's just some month away and you already forgot how much fucking pain it was. Nah, can't have been that bad. Shit, it is.) -
Does somebody have any experience with LXC/LXD containers on servers? I basicaly want all the services separated, but still have an easy way to manage the networking/routing for all the services and containers.
Any reference, guide or tool that helped you in master this subject?
Thank you in advance!4 -
Darn xml config file for a dll wouldn't load.
1) Searching Stackoverflow which says that only configs for exe files are loaded. Problem found and time to send bug report? Nah, better check source code first.
2) Downloading and reading the source for the dll. Nope, dll should explicitly load config file and read settings. Time to send problem report to author? Nah, better to test in greater isolation first.
3) Setting up isolated test. About to copy the LibName.dll.config.xml and WHAT? Note to self: You half witted twat, the file contents is XML, the bloody file extension isn't!
Now apply this sort of typo error to program code, and you will see why I use statically typed languages. -
!rant
For years, I've been putting myself back whenever I got an idea to do something, because "what would people think?"
But, you know, there's only one life (unless you believe in reincarnation, that's fine), and I'll do whatever the fuck i want (that's legal and doesn't breaks moral/ethics, to each their own)
So...I just got an idea, decided to put it down and publish it.
It sucks? Maybe, but I don't care, it's done and out, I'd rather want to live being seen as a fool than die hiding myself.
https://youtu.be/gF3O6a0MSa8 -
It would be cool if we could add videos or some shit in our rants so like twitter, reddit etc nah ?6
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I started a web animation library, because there were no satisfying lib's available...
And today I remembered a conversation with a teacher about the web animation api!
Fuck, I'm glad I rememberer that advice, safed me a lot of fucking around with js...
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