Some guy my girlfriend knows, heard I'm a software developer. He had this 'great' idea on how he wanted to start a new revolutionary way of paying on the internet. He wanted to create a service like paypal but without having the hassle of logging in first and going through a transaction. He wanted a literal "buy now" button on every major webshop on the internet. When I asked him how he thought that would work legally and security wise, he became a bit defensive and implied that since I'm the tech guy I should work out that kind of stuff. When the software was ready, he would have clients lined up for the service and his work would start.

I politely declined this great opportunity

Customer: IT is completely useless! I’m getting PORN ADS on my work computer!? This is ridiculous!!!

Friend: Oh that’s not good, perhaps your computer has a virus of some sort let me take a look!

Friend takes a look and sees that the porn ads were all provided by google ad service, they weren’t related to a virus.

Friend: so, you don’t have a virus, but so that you know google gathers metrics on the sites you visit so that it can target ads at you better. Looks like that’s what’s happening here.

Customer: .............

Manager: Does anybody having any money saving ideas?

Dev: By switching our supplier from X to Y we could save $10,000/year and they have much better customer service.

Manager: So? I’m looking more for savings opportunities in the +$100k range. That’s a small idea, I’m looking for *BIG* ideas.

Dev: Do you have any big ideas?

Manager: No, but I really really want to save big money like that. I thought you would have something worthwhile.

Dev: $10,000 still a lot of money

Manager: I guess…. Ok we can do it. But don’t bother me with peanuts like this again.

Dev: ??? You asked me buddy

I was in McDonald's and annoyed to see queues for all the self-service machines. I noticed one of them had nobody queueing though. Several people walked up to it, looked for two seconds, then just walk away. So naturally I had a look myself, and I saw that it was just a string displaying a bit wrongly. Hah!

So I walk up, close that order then make my own. Nothing at all wrong with it, people just have no clue about how computers work. Nobody even tried pressing the buttons after seeing that.

Of course I put it back to the broken screen before I left. I like chaos.

Manager: Hurry up and login, I don’t have all day

Dev: One sec I have to lookup my password for the system

Manager: How can you not remember your password? Everything requires it these days

Dev: I use a different password for each service.

Manager: Wow you really like to overcomplicate things. Just use the same one for everything like I do, it’s way more efficient!

Dev: …

My first project and the reason I learnt to code. I was a manager at a supermarket and wanted a discount card for the old people so just wouldnt have to walk to the tills.

First I wrote hello world, then a calculator and then a loyalty card system for my store. It was wildly successful and the fact my scrap code even ran is a miracle. Shortly after launching it in my store I met a like minded investor with an actual dev team hooked it up to a web service and I spent the next 3 years rolling it out nationally to 480 stores. It's still running today.

Random quote: "Be a rainbow in someone's cloud"
Me: "Like rainbow as a service?" 😁😋😆

Our coffee machine at work is broken. We're a fucking high tech company delivering unique solutions with millions of requests every second of the day to over 60 countries, how can we not have a working fucking COFFEE MACHINE in the kitchen? How are we suppose to keep the lights on if we can't get our daily coffee god damnit?! It's been broken for over a week.

Sure, I'll just walk to the floor upstairs to get coffee LIKE THEY DID IN THE EIGHTEEN HUNDREDS. Maybe I should just come in to work on a horse with armor stabbing some funny looking fucker because it seems like we're living in the GOD DAMN EIGHTEEN HUNDREDS and that was a totally legit action back then. Get your shit together, call the company providing the coffee machine service and just have them fix it. How hard can it be??

At my old company one of my colleagues introduced async / await into our csharp code. He created interfaces and showed us a great structuring of his code. Sadly a few weeks later he left the company, because of personal reasons and a bug appeared in his written service. Our senior developer took the issue and complained for like 1 week. That you can't find anything, that interfaces are useless, that async / await is slow and sucks and that we should stop trying to bring new structures into the code base and do things the old way. In the end he deleted all the great things that my colleague introduced and wrote bad and smelly code.

A few days ago, I had a trashed laptop, lost my wallet with University ID and my debit card, a thesis and a poster not started, and no real content to put on either. I'd need money to get a new univ ID but no debit card. Same ges for buying a laptop. Also homework and shit due. Which required a load of Python.

Fast forward a week.

Laptop on its way, thank PayPal. Got new univ ID. Library loans out laptops. All homeworks done. Even got the replacement fee on my debit card waived by being nice to the customer service person.

I'd like to thank devRant for keeping me sane. And I'd like to say I'm fairly proud of my adulting abilities. They're not stellar, but they're pretty okay.

These fresh new college grads...calling themselves Full Stack Developers...
Ask them to consume a web service and I get a blank look...ask them to create a REST service and they are like WTF are you talking...
Has it come to the point that people just keep throwing around terms without understanding the inherent philosophy or idea behind them or is it like it's just to show that they are the "COOL" kids...with no actual idea of what the fuck they are doing ???

Dev: “Ughh..look at this –bleep- code! When I execute the service call, it returns null, but the service received a database error.”
Me: “Yea, that service was written during a time when the mentality was ‘Why return a service error if the client can’t do anything about it?’”
Dev: “I would say that’s a misunderstanding of that philosophy.”
Me: “I would say it’s a perfectly executed example of a deeply flawed philosophy.”
Dev: “No, the service should just return something that tells the client the operation failed.”
Me: “They did. It was supposed to return a valid result, and the developer indicated a null response means the operation failed. How you deal with the null response is up to you.”
Dev: “That is stupid. How am I supposed to know a null response means the operation failed?”
Me: “OK, how did you know the operation failed?”
Dev: “I had to look at the service error logs.”
Me: “Bingo.”
Dev: “This whole service is just a –bleep-ing mess. There are so many things that can go wrong and the only thing the service returns is null when the service raises an exception.”
Me: “OK, what should the service return?”
Dev: ”I don’t know. Error 500 would be nice.”
Me: “Would you know what to do with error 500?”
Dev: ”Yea, I would look at the error log”
Me: “Just like you did when the service returned null?”
<couple of seconds of silence>
Dev: “I don’t know, it’s a –bleep-ing mess.”
Me: “You’re in the code, change it.”
Dev: “Ooohhh no, not me. The whole thing will have to be re-written. It should have been done correctly the first time. If we had time to do code reviews, I would have caught this –bleep- before the service was deployed.”
Me: “Um, you did.”
<a shocked look from Dev>
Dev: “What…no, I’ve never seen this code.”
Me: “I sat next to Chuck when you were telling him he needed to change the service to return null if an exception was raised. I remember you telling him specifically to pop-up an error dialog ‘Service request failed’ to the user when the service returned null.”
Dev: “I don’t remember any of that.”
Me: “Well, Chuck did. He even put it in the check-in comments. See…”
<check in comments stated Dev’s code review and dictated the service return null on exceptions>
Dev: “Hmm…I guess I did. –bleep- are you a –bleep-ing elephant? You –bleep-ing remember everything.”

<what I wanted to say>
No, I don’t remember everything, but I remember all the drive-by <bleep>-ed up coding philosophies you tried to push to the interns and we’re now having all kinds of problems I spend waaaaay too much time fixing.
<what I said, and lied a little bit>
Me: “No, I was helping Nancy last week troubleshoot the client application last week with the pop-up error. Since the service returned a null, she didn’t know where to begin to look for the actual error.”
Dev: “Oh.”

> Manager: Why does service X behaves Y way? It should do Z instead.
> Me: *explains why*
> Manager: I don't understand this...
> Me: *explains it in more simple terms and shorter sentences*
> Manager: I'm still not sure I get it.
> Me: It is like this because of a third party provider and we can't change anything for the same reason. Also it is working like this for half a decade now.
> Manager: Ok, I get it. So please fix the service, it should do Z instead of Y.
> Me: *facepalm* Sorry, I can't. Ask (frontend guy), maybe he can help you.
> Frontend guy a bit later: ┌П┐(ಠ_ಠ)

I'm a network engineer. Mom questions my skills when I tell her to just reset the router, but when customer service tells her to, she acts like she's listening to the voice of god.

Dev gets hold of me, says my service is down in QA. Works if he hits it locally, works via Postman, but via the QA app server it gives a 401.

I’m like, look, if it works everywhere else, there’s something wrong on your side in QA.

He insists, no, I must help him, and begins CCing all the managers telling them this system has been down for days.

So I eventually climb into his system, check the credentials they’re using in the QA environment, and sure enough, the password is wrong.

Start a development job.
Boss: "let's start you off with something very easy. There's this third party we need data from. They have an api, just get the data and place it on our messaging bus."
Me: "sure, sounds easy enough"

Third party api turns out to have the most retarded conversation protocol. With us needing a service to receive data on while also having a client to register for the service. With a lot of timed actions like, 'send this message every five minutes' and 'check whether our last message was sent more than 11 minutes ago'.
Due to us needing a service, we also need special permissions through the company firewall. So I have to go around the company to get these permissions, FOR EVERY DATA STREAM WE NEED!

But the worst of it all is... This whole api is SOAP based!!

Also, Hey DevRant!

So, yesterday I was talking to a friend who had a fukin BUSINESS IDEA of starting Uber like service for his local town(where his university is).

Apparently, the moron was searching for someone to make an Uber like app for him (Both fukin Android and iOS) and he was hoping to get it done in under fukin 5000 INR (less than 100 USD).

I was like wtf 😐

Dev checked in code (I suspect purposely not inviting me on the code review invite) saying he "fixed" the authentication bug in the web service.

Um no, like I told you last week, the authentication error is because the load balancer wasn't passing the user's authentication to IIS.

If I didn't overhear him telling a user "Still getting the error? I don't know, we might have to re-write that service", he might have gotten away with it.

Me: "Wait, that doesn't sound right. If I hit the server directly, authentication works. Its an issue with the load balancer, not the service"
Dev: "Admin said the load balancer is fine and it has to be the service."
Me: "I don't buy it. IIS is returning the authentication error, not the service."
Dev: "I added exception handling and nothing is being logged. Must be something in the service configuration."
Me: "No, IIS performs the authentication, not the service. I explained that last week, remember?"
Dev: "Oh yea. What changes do we need to make to the service?"
<my blood pressure starts to spike>
Me: "None. Give me a sec.."
<we have other apps on the same server farm that work just fine, so I re-configure the service pool settings to match theirs>
Me: "See, now going through the load balancer, the service works fine. For some reason, the admin had our service set up differently."
Dev: "OK, I'll let the users know the service is fixed."
Me: "Service was never broke and I'm not leaving it in its current state. In the morning I'll talk to the admin and see what he can do to fix."

The company i work for has a jenkins server (for people that don't know jenkins, it's an automated build service that gets the latest git updates, pulls them and then builds, tests and deploys it)

Because it builds the software, people were scared to update it so we were running version 1.x for a long time, even when an exploit was found... Ooh boy did they learn from that...

The jenkins server had a hidden crypto miner running for about 5 days...

I don't know why we don't have detectors for that stuff... (like cpu load being high for 15 minutes)

I even tried to strengthen our security... You know basic stuff LIKE NOT SAVING PASSWORDS TO A GOOGLE SPREADSHEET! 😠

But they shoved it asside because they didn't have time... I tried multiple times but in the end i just gave up...

Most satisfying bug I've fixed?

Fixed a n+1 issue with a web service retrieving price information. I initially wrote the service, but it was taken over by a couple of 'world class' monday-morning-quarterbacks.
The "Worst code I've ever seen" ... "I can't believe this crap compiles" types that never met anyone else's code that was any good.

After a few months (yes months) and heavy refactoring, the service still returned price information for a product. Pass the service a list of product numbers, service returns the price, availability, etc, that was it.

After a very proud and boisterous deployment, over the next couple of days the service seemed to get slower and slower. DBAs started to complain that the service was causing unusually high wait times, locks, and CPU spikes causing problems for other applications. The usual finger pointing began which ended up with "If PaperTrail had written the service 'correctly' the first time, we wouldn't be in this mess."

Only mattered that I initially wrote the service and no one seemed to care about the two geniuses that took months changing the code.

The dev manager was able to justify a complete re-write of the service using 'proper development methodologies' including budgeting devs, DBAs, server resources, etc..etc. with a projected year+ completion date.

My 'BS Meter' goes off, so I open up the code, maybe 5 minutes...tada...found it. The corresponding stored procedure accepts a list of product numbers and a price type (1=Retail, 2=Dealer, and so on). If you pass 0, the stored procedure returns all the prices.
Code basically looked like this..

public List<Prices> GetPrices(List<Product> products, int priceTypeId)
{
foreach (var item in products)
{
List<int> productIdsParameter = new List<int>();
productIdsParameter.Add(item.ProductID);
List<Price> prices = dataProvider.GetPrices(productIdsParameter, 0);
foreach (var price in prices)
{
if (price.PriceTypeID == priceTypeId)
{
prices = dataProvider.GetPrices(productIdsParameter, price.PriceTypeID);
return prices;
}
* Omitting the other 'WTF?' code to handle the zero price type
}
}
}

I removed the double stored procedure call, updated the method signature to only accept the list of product numbers (which it was before the 'major refactor'), deployed the service to dev (the issue was reproducible in our dev environment) and had the DBA monitor.

The two devs and the manager are grumbling and mocking the changes (they never looked, they assumed I wrote some threading monstrosity) then the DBA walks up..

DBA: "We're good. You hit the database pretty hard and the CPU never moved. Execution plans, locks, all good to go."
<dba starts to walk away>
DevMgr: "No fucking way! Putting that code in a thread wouldn't have fix it"
Me: "Um, I didn't use threads"
Dev1: "You had to. There was no way you made that code run faster without threads"
Dev2: "It runs fine in dev, but there is no way that level of threading will work in production with thousands of requests. I've got unit tests that prove our design is perfect."
Me: "I looked at what the code was doing and removed what it shouldn't be doing. That's it."
DBA: "If the database is happy with the changes, I'm happy. Good job. Get that service deployed tomorrow and lets move on"
Me: "You'll remove the recommendation for a complete re-write of the service?"
DevMgr: "Hell no! The re-write moves forward. This, whatever you did, changes nothing."
DBA: "Hell yes it does!! I've got too much on my plate already to play babysitter with you assholes. I'm done and no one on my team will waste any more time on this. Am I clear?"

Seeing the dev manager face turn red and the other two devs look completely dumbfounded was the most satisfying bug I've fixed.

There is this service that I want to use (wont name it for privacy/legal reasons) and I have created a trial account which gives me a limited access to their apis. However the usage is where things are interesting.
The api access is restricted to some 1000 calls per trial account. But also they have a explorer option which lets to have the functionality as a web app like a dashboard and the explorer usage has unlimited access.

Now since I didnt want to exhaust my api limit, I let my service call the explorer apis instead. Is this ethically wrong or it is the fault of the service providers that they have such a big gaping hole in their licensing?

GAHHHHHHHHHH! Damn USPS!!! Privatize them already! Stolen is more like it. It was a Gigabyte Aorus X470 Mobo, an AMD Ryzen 5 2600X CPU, and 16GB of memory. The postal service is a bloated, unresponsive, government run trainwreck. If people would just stop using them, they would shrivel up and blow away. ARRGH!!! 🔥☠️🔥☠️🔥

I love how some services have trap pricing, pretty much like drug dealers of the interwebs.

Me: I would like to send e-mail to my clients.

Company: Sure bro, here, take our service, you can send emails to all your clients, just 5€ per month!

A year later

Me: I have now over thousand customers, I would like to send more emails and implement some new features.

Company: Thousand customers you say?

Me: Yeah

Company: All in our servers you say?

Me: Yeah, thanks for the great service!

Company: Sure, no problem. We can enable you additional services for 40 000€ per month, half of your liver and two of your first born babies.

I fucking love my local phone service provider. They have a game (70mb) like Temple run where we get free mobile data for playing it. The 70 mb for downloading it gets reimbursed too !!

I just realized that CPU's are essentially electronic hookers, for processes.

They'll service any process that calls upon them, but keep switching between various processes so that it can spend time fairly with each of its processes. And of course, they'll immediately abandon their current process if one with a higher priority reveals itself and attend to that one instead. Once it is finished, it'll return to its less-important processes.

Kinda sounds like a hooker to me... 🤔

That moment when you're providing a free service (a Discord bot) and a person tells you they would be happy to donate and you're just like:

༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ holy sh*t

I have in my head parts of a game, I'd love to build. A top-down space colonization game. You control various spacecrafts and build spacestations etc. to expand your control.
The catch is that you have limited direct controls in-game. Most of the "gameplay" consists of having your own piece of software running somewhere, communicating with the API and controlling your colony.
Similar to Screeps, but I don't like the limitations of writing JavaScript and uploading it to the service. I'd love for the user to have free control of what language to use. They just need to be able to create a TCP socket and communicate with the API

My customer service girl just told me that she gonna charge $20 to a client. The client bought one of our web development packages and requested us to create LinkedIn, Google+, Twitter and Instagram account so he can put those on his restaurant website.

Don't be surprised if I became millionaire around 2020.

// $20 can give us like 5 KFC meals here.

I have to make this a separate rant.
It's been going on for months, and I don't have alternatives.

This.

This is what I pay 35€ per month for. Every evening it's like this. Usually it can't even load the speed test. Right now it can't even load the upload meter.

A big FUCK YOU to Vodafone in Berlin. Giant ass FUCK YOU, for just promises and appalling service.

Client - "We absolutely totally 100% neeeeeeeeed this plugin added to our wp site that another team built. "

Team - "Nope sorry you can't have it the plugin was deprecated 2 years ago, and the service you want to pull a feed from dost work like that any more. Here are other options A B C D. "

Client - "No we want it. You have to make it work or we are cancelling our account."

Team - "see ya"

Feel like a god!

I've made an API service that returns a list of countries based on a temperature range that they will have within the next 10 days for spur of the moment holidays.

It even finds you the cheapest possible flight ticket from your location to it.

So many nights were spent raging since I had never touched node js until 9 weeks ago and I have other huge pieces of work on the burner.

Once it's finished and works properly, how does one market such a service?

Tried deploying a new nginx server today, wrote the site config manually.

"Alright, done! Let's restart the service and look in the browser how it looks"

# systemctl restart nginx
> Process exited with error code.
"Fuuuuck..."
# nginx
> Unexpected } on line 13.

# vim /etc/nginx/sites-enabled/thatconfig.conf
"Wait wtf.. there's nothing wrong with the curly braces.. they're all opening and closing as they should..."
*takes another closer look*
Line 12, missed a fucking semicolon 😑
Append semicolon, :wq, # systemctl restart nginx
Works like a charm 🙄 all because of a stupid semicolon.

Until now I thought that the semicolon jokes were just lame.. but damn you semicolon, you are indeed the superior hide and seek player 😅

Ffs Bitbucket, is it really so much to ask for to have a mobile responsive website in 2020 to normally review my pull requests.

Not like we're giving you loads of money for your service already or anything.. 😌

Facebook be like,
"We have a TOR-Hidden-Service, but you have to give us your phone-number and a picture of your face, if you want to use your account for more than two days."

Worked with a European consulting company to integrate some shared business data (aka. calling a service).
VP of IT called an emergency meeting (IT managers, network admins) deeply concerned about the performance of the international web site since adding our services.
VP: “The partner’s site is much slower than ours. Only common piece that could cause that is your service.”
Me: “Um, their site is vastly different than ours. I don’t think we can compare their performance to ours.”
VP: “Performance is #1! I need your service fixed ASAP!”
Me: “OK, but what exactly is slow? How did you measure their site? The servers are in Germany”
VP: “I measured performance from my house last night.”
Me: “Did you use an application?”
VP: “<laughs> oh no, I was at home. When I opened the page, I counted one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, then the page displayed.”
Me: “Wow…um…OK…uh…how long does our page take to load?”
VP: “Two Mississippi’s”
Me: “Um…wow…OK…wow…uh, no, we don’t measure performance like that, but I’ll work with our partners and develop a performance benchmark to determine if the shared service is behaving differently.”
VP: “Whatever it is, the service is slow. Bill, what do you think is slowing down the service?”
NetworkAdmin-Bill: “The Atlantic Ocean?”
VP got up and left the meeting.

"We use WSDL and SOAP to provide data APIs"
- Old-fashioned but ok, gimme the service def file
(The WSDL services definition file describes like 20 services)
- Cool, I see several services. In need those X data entities.
"Those will all be available through the Data service endpoint"
- What you mean "all entities in the same endpoint"? It is a WSDL, the whole point is having self-documented APIs for each entity format!
"No, you have a parameter to set the name of the data entity you want, and each entity will have its own format when the service return it"
- WTF you need the WSDL for if you will have a single service for everything?!?
"It is the way we have always done things"

Certain companies are some outdated-ass backwater tech wannabees.
Usually those that have dominated the market of an entire country since the fucking Perestroika.

The moment I turn on the data pipeline, those fuckers are gonna be overloaded into oblivion. I brought popcorn.

Thinking of making a calculator app that is implemeted with microservices.

Like multiplication service calls addition service, and power service calls multiplication service, and expression service can call all of those, etc.

Next I need to figure out how to add AI to it

In a morning 'stand up'.. (SM = Scrum Master, PO = Product Owner)

SM: "Sprint item 42399 ... Did you work with Ken on getting the price service ready for deployment?"
Me: "No, I worked with Dave on the service bus queue changes. Its there in the notes"
SM: "Ha ha...no...right there...it reads working with Ken."
Me: "Those are your notes. You re-assigned the ticket to yourself yesterday."
SM: "Oh...um...you told me you were working with Ken when I asked."
Me: "I'm really sorry, I don't remember you asking or me saying anything about changes to the price service. All the documentation I have is for the service bus."
PO: "I'm so confused, Ken was pulled off another project to work on the Price service for you guys."
Me: "I never talked to Ken, I have no idea whats going on. Did you tell Ken he had to make changes to the Price service?"
SM: "No..I never...um...well....yea...this card was blocked and the service needed to be approved and deployed."
Me: "Ken's changes were for the purchasing service two weeks ago and already deployed. The card is already marked as Done"
<PO rubs his face>
PO: "Good god...do I still need to be here?"
Me:"Um...no? Sorry?"
<PO walks out>
Me: "What changes did you tell Ken to make?"
SM: "Whatever the card says...see the price service."
Me: "Scroll down...see..price related to the service bus, not price service."
SM:"Work with Dave on getting this card closed, OK?"

Good fracking grief. Your ego is so brittle and so eager to look like a boss.
I did my job, you fracking kiss ass. I'm fracking sure when you re-assigned the ticket you told my boss you "had to" because I was falling behind in the sprint.

Where the fuck my privacy go?

I'm paying you to listen to music or watch films, I don't want you to create a damm profile my taste or "learn" what might like.

If it was a free service, fine, I'd understand, but I am fucking pying you. I should have the option to completely disable your arse sniffing software.

I know some of them provide a "private mode", but I want that to be the default, I am paying for the god damn service :/

I've got a brand new laptop and when the fan is spinning slowly, there is a noise like something is touching it.

I've recorded the noise, sent to the service and these people suggested a bios update. For a shitty fan noise...

Most awkward work event/parts story?

There was a girl who worked in customer service, very goth. Un-kept hair, baggy cloths, dark lipstick, etc..etc. At a company holiday party there were several+many people (mostly dudes) asking "Who is that! ... She's HOT!!" etc (you could hear it from various tables), and someone said "That's Stefanie.", then the "Noooo...OMG..."
Apparently she cleaned up nicely (dressed like she was going to a movie premier, very classy). She and a female friend (also attractive, dressed like a million bucks) were sitting close to each together and you could hear more (inappropriate) comments "OMG, are they together!?...that's fucking hot!....".
Mind you, this wasn't a very big venue (and before all of today's woke-ness), I could hear it a few tables away (again, all dudes, customer service and warehouse worker folks), I *know* they could hear it from their table.
It was so bad Stefanie's CS manager talked about in the break room the next day. She wasn't at the holiday party, but the rumors were going wild that day.
<she's in her 60's and I wouldn't want to be on her bad side>
D: "I can't believe they made such a scene. I would have smacked those young men in the face! Stefanie has a boyfriend and Laura is married. They have been best friends since kindergarten, its disgusting what went on. And another thing..."

It was talked about for many years afterward.

!rant
I'm an idiot. I freely admit this. I spent a solid 3 hours on a new endpoint in a WCF service, only to have it looked upon and told to fix it. I knew that the service I was calling didn't work like that. I did, I knew it. I didn't think about it while coding the endpoint, but I knew it. At least the changes only needed to happen in one file, and only took about 25 minutes with tests and all. But damn it, I knew better. I looked at my buddy, straight in the eye, and told him "Told you I was an idiot." He laughed, I laughed, the table laughed, we killed the table. It was a great time!

Playing around with Bard:
Me:Who called me from ...?
Bard: <blah blah blah> Would you like me to run a reverse phone lookup on that number for you?
Me: Yes
Bard: I'm just a language model, so I can't help you with that.
Me: Then why did you ask?
Bard: "I understand that you don't need me to run a reverse phone lookup, and that's perfectly fine. I just wanted to offer the service in case you were interested."

I tweaked the question and Bard responded with a Python script and a phone number regular expression.

Our jobs are safe for now.

*Working on a project with boss, I am working on a mobile app, he is working on web service app.

Me: this service takes user id as parameter to get all account details (all other web services are like that)

Boss: yes, I use the id to filter the data.

Me: but by this, everyone has the id can do anything ! why we do not use session token?

Boss: this is a detail, it is not important !

Me:...

*7 years of experience my ass

Pro tip for job candidates:
If you push a code challenge to a live hosting service like github pages or S3, don’t give the reviewers a link to the repo!! Instead put the link into the home page and send the reviewer only a link to the live hosted page.

Why?

Because, if you host with github pages, you’re required to use the project path as the domain root. If the reviewer pulls your project and doesn’t bother to read your readme file with the link at the top, he’ll complain that he couldn’t figure out why your project isn’t hosted from the root domain, and he’ll pass on your application.

True story.

Some websites are a disgrace to the internet and I wish there was a service that terminates them on a daily basis.

Really though, can you do some simple research about your users and see what will make their life easy?

You put the most important button of your website in a place where the I have to scroll down and looks for it. The beginning of your page has a stock picture that has no meaning or relevance to the topic of your page. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

And your button, it doesn't even look like a fucking button. It looks like a normal text, which doesn't even react to hovering. At least change the cursor to pointer so that I can understand that it's a button.

Fuck you, your button and your useless stock picture.

So yesterday I went to the postal service to claim my package(stress ball). While I'm waiting for the package the employee there asked me:

EMPLOYEE: There's so many stress balls here why buy one overseas.
ME: It's a dev swag I got free.
E: Oh I see. *looked at me suspiciously*

a moment later...

E: Hey, why stress ball? Did someone on your family got stroke?
M: No, it's for me. *smiled*

The after I got the package, the man looks like he wants me to open the package in front of him. Which I didn't do because I'm late for my work.

Maybe it's a first time here that someone sent a stress ball from US. Goodness. Hahahaha

ps. the man looks at me like I did something illegal which is a bit awkward. Hahahaha

Test server not working as expected - check with test team.
Test team experiencing the same problem - report to dev.
Dev team says the issue is not on their side - check with the service owners.
Service owner says it might be a problem with the request and gives me another point of contact - send an email with all the info.
POC says it doesn't have anything to do with him and copies "the right person".
Next person says to ask a different team.

Get reprimanded for asking too many teams.

Jeez idk, maybe if you stopped passing on the blame like a hot potato and actually helped me out I wouldn't need to.

Client have this amazing idea about a website that they wanted to convert into reality by using our service. Me and my friend started working on it.

After a month later when it's almost ready, they informed they are not investing into the idea anymore. They would like to discard the project and will pay half of it.

I am eventually realising why signing a contract is really important

The website of the italian post service is "closed" between 23:45 and 00:15, everyday.
I don't know if something like this happens in other countries...

And do you know when I really need to access it?
ALWAYS IN THESE 30 MINUTES, not the others 1.410 of the day!

P.S.
What do you think, what could be a valid reason to "close" a web service?
I thought about backup, but other services don't have this problem.

I'm having a DAY.

it's like I'm trying to "2+2=4" and hitting "unknown operator =", figure that out, get "22" back, fix that, then math service is down, redeploy math service, wait 30 minutes, that's up, get "out of numbers" exception, turns out a dependency updated and now I have to register what "2" means, fix that, FINALLY get 2+2 to evaluate, I get 5. Figure that out, get 4! 4!!! FINALLY. Push it. Get 55 on the server. Gets 4 on my machine, getting some random 55 from the server.

So this guy is asking for help but his ego is too high. What happened was his code raised a ""Trying to get property 'result' of non-object"" error so I told him that the data type is not declared. He still not get it. Like in personal message he asked me wether I know php because he is the founder of some cloud service in php, and I know all about php.

I was like if you know php so well, why cant you realise that $result is not declared?

We've had Deezer family with the fam for a few months (Yes I actually like deezer) but now they're going to cancel it because I'm the only one who uses it 😞.

Working on a script to automatically update my music library every day through YouTube now 😃.

And yes, I'll still buy my favourite music but I personally find 10 euro a little too much for a streaming service.

opened up my laptop at the car dealership where I am chilling at rn while I wait on my car's service to be done.

I open my laptop and start working on some small fix that I had forgotten about for work.

OMG guess what? no one is looking at me doing shit in the computer because in reality no one gives a flying fuck like most of you attention whores wanna make it sound like.

No one thinks you are hacking because you opened up a terminal in public.

Bola de jotos ridiculos.

Security lifehacks 101

Why pay for password managers? Just use one secure password for every service you use! Password managers are really designed for fools who don’t know that you can just use one password for every service and who are ready to pay for that shit.

The best practice is to use your name starting with a capital letter + your main credit card number + CVC code from the back of that card as your go-to password. It’s long and hard to bruteforce and you can remember everything that way! You just need to remember that one password and you’ll always remember your payment info! No need for apple’s bad Apple Pay which is not so secure after all like everything else that Apple offers.

NO. FUCKIN. THANKS. LIKE GOD.
I can't use a SINGLE google service without Google trying to push its shit down my throat.

A coworker told me this a little while ago and I cringed.

"Coworker installs windows partition o n a Mac, not sure what utility he used but he's handled every IT issue, people in our company for years but googling and researching ways to do things.

Steve comes along to do a service on the Macs (apparently) and sees what my coworker did and says "get rid of that it's a security risk", coworker had a legitimate reason to use Windows, plugin for Excel only works in Windows, so Steve could have totally done checks to ensure security wasn't a risk, but he's a Mac elitist, what can you do :/, lucky coworker though gets to use a windows PC and never looked back xD."

Honestly scared of Steve doing that so called service seeing I have tons of things I need to use (source tree, Android studio, some tools to test push notifications) and just down right deleting them because of his reasons, that and the whole he does services after hours without much warning (last time it was a leave password on desk for the next "week" and Steve will come in and fix the Macs) I can't defend my argument of why I use something like Android studio (to develop the app for the company LOL)

I email our CFO in January about an overcharge I noticed on an invoice, something we've been paying $120 a month for, not using, and never used the service. I suggested we contact the vendor and request the charge be removed and try for a credit.

Fast forward 2 months, vendor emails me to let me know that the service is being cancelled and they wanted to give me a heads up that I'll need to find another provider. I decide to go ahead and email back telling them that we haven't ever used the service and we shouldn't be paying for it. After 30 minutes on the phone I got the charge removed and got our account credited for the last 12 months.

Now to figure out how to word it to the boss without making it seem like I'm trying to throw the CFO under the bus for not doing his job.

Holy fucking shit.
I just read an article about Barton Gellman, one of the journalists that wrote the snowden articles for the Washington Post and one of the 3 that got contacted directly by snowden.

It seams like several intelligence agencies tried/succeeded to compromise his infrastructure.
His iPad got compromised through an RCE exploit.
The turkish intelligence service tried to compromise his laptop by tricking him into installing a customized RAT.

Like fuck man, I can't imagine how it is to be targeted by pretty much every government there is.

The internet is expensive as hell compared with salaries, we can't access to services like amazon, google cloud, gitlab, private github, Android, and a lot more because of USA sanctions (we have to do some magic and sorcery to use them), and in the other hand our government applys restrictive laws (we call it the double embargo) like that one who says that you can't host services for the country with international providers, and the only national hosting provider has a terrible, feature-less and super expensive service. But hey, we like a lot what we do!!

- Cuba

So I've been working a lot with Docker lately (who isn't) and there was this one service always DIEING on me.
Docker logs showed me that it was killed because the container was unhealthy.
I researched for a whole day and couldn't find it...
After I got home it hit me like a hammer...
The healthcheck uses basic Auth and the password was changed yesterday...

How the fuck could I start to try every shit before I even checked if the request done by the healthcheck is working...

FUCK ME I'M SUCH A MORON SOMETIMES

An online shop ... something like Amazon Shopping for South East Asia keeps on sending me their newsletter even though I have already unsubscribed. I wish they'd hire me to take care of their email service.
Although I doubt this is a bug and perhaps one of a schemes of the marketing department and they are already aware of this. Sneaky corporate bastards.

You know what would be nice? Being able to Google anything to do with VPNs without having like 90% of the results being links to how-to-setup-VPN-client pages from every goddamn obscure commercial VPN provider in existance.

If I wanted to know how to setup a VPN client to work with Crazy Dave's House-o'-VPN-n'-Cloud-Hosting's paid-for service, I probably would have Googled for that, not general things like "openvpn ethernet bridging". Why am I getting so many commercial results? Either nobody sets up their own VPNs, or the VPN companies have SEO'd the keywords good and proper.

How to run a productive meeting?

Have a written agenda (provided before the meeting, of course)

No "Lets talk about the service architecture" nonsense. Provide the exact details of what the outcome of the meeting should be. Even been lucky enough to cancel meetings when the agenda points are answered in a reply email. Its awesome.

As conditioned as we are about agendas, a few mgrs still skip the agenda and it ends up as you would imagine. At the end, everyone is like "Why are we here? What did we decide? Looks like we need another meeting..."

Idea: Corruption as a service.

RESTful API where you send a URL to a file, an intensity and a method, and if the file's under some size, we return a URL to the now-corrupted file on the server, which is removed after like 5 minutes of inactivity or something.

Depending on method and intensity, corruption amount varies from one byte to every byte being either replaced or added to/subtracted from by a certain amount.

I got a dayjob in a company. I got an error. I cannot solve it and I am so desperate. So I go to stackoverflow, nobody answers. I post on git issue, but nobody solves the problem. So, I pay someone to solve it, like Hackhands.com to find a mentor. There is no mentor that can help. So I pay more, hired a peer, and finally a development team just to help me. They get paid only if they solved it.

But each of my folks repeat my same steps, asking on stackoverflows or github, and none of these help. So, they end up hiring their own friends and mentors. Their friends also end up paying (pay before problem solved) someone to help them.

their friends pay for friends of friends, then friends of friends of friends

And all of a sudden it becomes a giant MLM scheme.

And those people they paid for actually work for a company behind the scene which I am a founder of 😁

Multi billions startup idea, is it?

Michelin star Chefs, Chefs, sous chef, pastry chefs, cooks, burger flippers; they all prepare food.

I think that development is heading becoming a service industry. Millions of developers at the low end making next to nothing with less at the top making more; sometimes much more.

Then there will be shows like "Master Coder" where something is white boarded out and the contestants have a limited time to write the function.

'Hey I found a bug in your code, it's probably a typo, see here.'

Me: Oh right, yeah. How stupid of me. Thanks, I'll push it.

'It's okay. You can push it or I can do it too after you push the changes we just discussed. I actually simplified one of your methods.'

Me: You, what... ?
(You crammed multiple lines in a single line with your stupid as fuck, rigid constructs, removing my error handling, loosely coupled service, in the name of simplification?)

' Yeah it's just four lines in a single function now, no need to call the function again and again.'

Me: (No... Just no. This totally undos whatever little I could do to avoid supporting your idiotic object in the first place.)
Oh... okay, we'll see. I'll let you know.

What life.
Life in a company full of ignorant, inflated egos is no joke.

Details:
I created a service that reads a configuration file and returns the configuration. This person needs five entries for his app logic. He collected them in a object. Quite alright. Except that the class prototype is shitty. I, like a normal person, made my service return a value based on input. I was asked to incorporate this awful object so that I can return the five entries together, which is awful because the service is not supposed to know about how the entries are clubbed. It should most certainly not know about the data members of the object!

My friend and I (both undergraduate) built a software to track emails for a local company (by the recommendation of my mom :D) now that is finished, it will cost $6 USD per 10,000 emails aprox. There is only one company that sells this service as a B2B, and the cost is near to $1,000 per 5,000 emails 😐. Things are always like that in the IT market?

Seems like everything on android is a "hack" or temporary solution, thanks to google .

Now how the fuck should i create a custom SMS inbox when:
1) i can't run the SMS broadcast reciever in a background service(because background services are deprecated )
2)message SMS reciever in a foreground service ,because this service is not fucking foreground! when the app is cleared from the recents , it shows the service as running, but on recieving the next message , the service dies??wtf?? i think its something related to processes

the app needs to detect a message instantly because some messages are needed to be sent to server the moment they are recieved :/

//rant

So I'm a BI consultant, been doing this for about 6 years now, and I'm pretty good at the data stuffs. Now I had to complete a project for a client where we call a web service and it had to be done in .NET. I wrote a console app in C# that called the WS, dumped the data then a stored proc processed the staging tables into final tables that our visualization tool can consume.

It works, it's done.

Mind you I'm not a pure .NET developer.

And now that it's completed and working this fucking .NET dude that works for my client is basically giving me an attitude talking about "why wasn't it done as a Windows service? Blah, blah" Like WTF!!??? I get that he's the C# BSD but like chill bruh!!

It's annoying as fuck having to work on projects that are not your area of EXPERTISE and then be ridiculed by other elitist assholes about it.

Doesn't happen much, but fuck it's something I hate about dev. FYI, if it was the opposite I would just be asking questions for understanding, not being a sarcastic prick.

//rant done

It all started when I was driving and wasn’t paying attention to the road bc I was trying to think of a solution to a coding issue when all the sudden a deer jumps in front of my car! My car is smashed and I call road service. They send someone out and as I wait I decide to do a little coding while in the middle of the woods with my laptop. I sit down and the same deer (remarkably un phased) charges me and kicks my laptop like a football. I suffered not one but two impacts from coding...

Left a php job because I was fed up with php and was promised I could work with different languages.

Start new job, 2 weeks of work with a different language. A few days away from completing the micro service and it's been decided it's going to be deleted and I've been told I'm now to fix bugs in php.

Actually given up on life. Dont want to go in. Want to work at KFC. Had enough of being a php fixer :'(

Feel like the job I was sold now doesn't exist.

Not at my current dev job, but I worked for a place that had us be On-call and if someone called we would all get an email telling us who was complaining, where the site was, the problem, etc.
This service was a 24/7 service.

Anyways one of my first times on call I definitely slept through like 12 emails throughout the night, and when I woke up the next morning I saw that the owner of the company had taken all 12 and resolved the issues.

I thought I was a goner for sure.

A smoothie subscription service for offices. Although the name was “Smoother Things” which I still like 😭

!rant

Goodbye Java I will not miss you at all! I swear ...

I do like it when making web services (especially that I can use Java8) but for Android you have been a torture. Hello sweet Kotlin! I shall embrace you and treat you like my newly born baby!!

Story is:
Working on a new project where I need to talk to a web service (also made by me).
Started writing in Java, all is cool and unit tests pass.
Downloaded Android Studio 3 Beta 1 and converted my Java code to Kotlin, That AsyncTask did not look nice in kotlin, converted it to async & await feature and I must admit lots of code removed, no more need to create a new fucking AsyncTask every time the app sneezes for data!

I feel like I'm working with C# but with difference in syntax.
My life is now complete :)

Yes, a plus, i.e. `+`, is a fucking valid char for an email address.

Your online service is shit, you don't know your craft, and you should feel bad about yourself!

But you thought email is fucking simple, google for email validation regex and took copy pasted the first fucking find from some random blog that validates anything but an actual fucking valid email addresses, didn't you!?

(Funfact, the plus sign allow to create email aliases in some free mailer services. GMail for instance. That's why I l like using emails like my.actual.mail+I_KNOW_WHY_YOU_ARE_SENDING_SPAM@gmail.com as my registration email. Also, brute-force that login email.)

I have a feature suggestion for devrant: some kind of polling system.
This idea came into my mind with the survey a few days ago.
Since almost all of us are devs, aspiring or experienced, we can expect (somewhat) professional opinions, e.g. on how to tackle a specific problem.
Maybe it's even possible to make this a paid service somehow. I thought about this:

Open a poll for all registered users: $0
Add requirements for a user to have to be able to vote on the poll: +0.99$ each:
- has ranted at least X times
- has at least X ++s
- has a StackOverflow account connected
...

This way, the OP can narrow down the target audience to a specific group.

Maybe...? I don't know if something like this already exists somewhere else.

The "unit" in unit test does not mean your ENTIRE APPLICATION. Ever heard of scope!?

I am amazed how often people write overblown test setups, mock hundreds of unrelated services, just to test one tiny bit of logic.

That bit of logic could have been a pure function.

For that pure function you could write a dead simple unit test. Given that input, I expect that output. Nothing more, nothing less. (It helps even more if the pure functions only accepts primitives, like string and numbers, or very simple immutable value objects).

No I don't care that the service is used by another service, as your mocked interaction also doesn't test the service as a whole but you just assume the happy case most of the time anyway. You want to test the entire application? Let's not use unit tests for that but let's use a different kind of test for that (integration test, functional tests, e2e-tests).

If you write code in a way that easily allows for unit testing, your need to mock goes away.

Me: I need a subtitle for the header on my website: “Our Team”

Chatgpt: Sure, here are good subtitles for “Our Team” header on your website:
— Meet the Experts
— Our Skilled Professionals
— Talent at Your Service
…

Me: Make it a little bit lengthier:

Chatgpt: Sure, here is a more detailed subtitle option for the “Our Team” header on your website:

{{was actually expecting 2 to 3 lines but dude proceeds to write a full page long content explaining “Our Team”}}

I feel like this dude gets orgasm when it sees the word “lengthier”.

I - Lets move your database to mlab. They offer 512mb database for free, every month. That is beyond your lifetime usage

Client - No. They Steal Data ( Like Facebook )

And client don't know a shit about mlab and development. Aware of quite a few names, bigrock, godaddy, bluehost. Even AWS is not in the list

- mlab is mongodb database service

Unpopular opinion: unit tests are often overrated.

Although a well written test suite is almost essential in some parts of the application (I.E. business logic) I cringe when I see hundreds or thousands of line which “mocks” everything to test a micro service which just does CRUD operations on a database, in cases like that unit tests are just a waste of time because almost every operation involves a mock which may not behave like the real database and often needs to be rewritten when the code undergoes a huge refactoring. In these case a integration test suite is faster to write and way more helpful.

Created a Service for drawing online. Just as a canvas test. My friends seem to like it. :D

It's a WebSocket based system, I hate that node module but it works.

When someone hiring you for an internship harasses you to maintain your code after the contract's duration...
Just stop treating me like a customer service and get on with your project man

I'm thinking of starting a service of creating WordPress sites for people.
But there are like 1928372829+ companies doing that.

Am I late to the party?

i feel like everything around me is catching fire, so I'm trying to put it out while also keeping a customer service smile and dealing with people

@dfox a feature like Reddit offline would be pretty fantastic for those of us that get stuck in no service areas.

Hey devs, really need some help here. This is driving me crazy...

We're currently taking issues from the company via mail. We've got a group mail that goes to the three of us at the IT department. Problem is, colleagues just forward customers emails without event trying to help, which means that we get stupid issues like "I can't sign in", and no further information. We're currently using Jira, and I was thinking perhaps we can set up a Jira Service Desk? Then we could have an internal help desk where issues could be submitted, and require some important fields, and perhaps add a checklist. Have you had any experience with Service Desk? Do you think it would be a good idea to have a "normal" person have an account there as well to filter out the normal "Have you tried restarting your computer" stuff? Is it suited for non-developers?

Any other ideas?

Yeay, messy question, but I'm fucking desperate...

Is anyone else concerned by the state of the industry?

Jeff Bezos is on track to surpass Bill Gates as the wealthiest man in tech. Amazon has a history of questionable actions (look up Nucleus, Diapers.com, BookSurge, MacMillan vs Amazon, and Hachette).

They are known to have a strong lobbying presence and often pay lower wages than their competitors.

I buy from Amazon because I like their service and prices (not always the cheapest, but arguably the best buying experience), but with every purchase I can't help but wonder what I'm contributing to.
It's obvious small tech companies struggle to survive and that is the result of our consumption.

I haven't had a smart phone in a while now. So I just started using one again. I am getting upsold for an app to "protect me from dangerous calls/texts" on my service. Really? You want to charge me more money for overpriced bandwidth to protect me from YOUR service? This is like aftermarketing a seatbelt on a car.

At least Microsoft has the decency of providing basic security/virus protection for their flagship product.

Is anyone here living Google free?

I've switched to using DuckDuckGo and ProtonMail for a while now, but I still find YouTube to be unreplaceable.

And also all the Google stuff on Android, like the play store and other integrations.

I know there's F-Droid and ROMs I might be able to install that wouldn't use any google service; just curious if some have done this successfully.

Rant about IT teacher

(This happened a few months ago)

I go to highschool and in ninth grade you learn about Excel and databases in general. In the first half of the year we learned how to use excel and in the second part of the year we learned about SQL databases.
So we learned SQL and how to set up a database using LibreOffice Base. At the end of the year we had to do one final project which was setting up a database and writing some queries.
We had to do it in groups of two and we had to choose for what we wanted to make a database.
We had like 5 minutes time to discuss it in the groups and me and my friend decided to do something like GitHub, so a database with tables for all the users, repositories, etc.
Then we had to tell our teacher what we wanted to do. Others made databases for hospitals, shops, netflix, app stores. The teacher asked the other groups, they told him what they wanted to do and he wrote it down. Here is how it went down with my group:
Teacher: So what do you want to do?
Me: A database for something like GitHub
Teacher: For what?
Me: GitHub
Teacher: what?
Me (very slowly): G I T H U B
Teacher: what is github?
Me: ...
(I was very surprised that he didn't know GitHub)
Me: well, you can upload files and work on them together with other people. There are also things like branches...
Teacher: Ah ok, so a cloud service
(I was done and wanted to end the conversation)
Me: Yes... it's a cloud service...
(Me in my mind: why do i have to be here)

We named our project 'GitGud', a little bit passiv aggresive.

Yeah so apparently my IT teacher doesn't know GitHub, however he installed Ubuntu on some of the school computers so I guess that's nice

We got an A so that's good.

When I had to choose a service, I chose bitbucket. Now the other two are getting flamed. Seems like I chose right. But in the end who knows what is good and what is bad. Peaches are delicious. Winter is coming. And I definitely don't care.

Callum, not everything is a "useless fad" just because you don't like it. I understand that you think AWS lambda functions are "just an expensive con for morons", but for our batch processing use case they really do make a lot of sense.

Running some numbers to show they cost 10x more for a completely unrelated always-on service with a completely different request pattern is either naive, stupid, or malicious, and considering you're meant to be a principle architect, I'm really not sure what's worse 🤦‍♂️

It took me like 3 hours to install stupid mariadb on my fucking arch. From the service not beeing able to start over not finding the correct base dir to permission problems in the data dir.
Well, after reading the wiki it was actually pretty easy (only minor problems) ...

Today I learned two things:
- I must be fucking dumb
- Reading the manual instead of guessing helps a lot when installing stuff on linux

Forgot to do server side verification.

As the service (an injectable game) was expanding and the old system relied on server side calculation without anything returned from the user, the expansion was done a little too fast.
The result could have been anyone passing wrong data and receiving the grand price like a holiday worth $10k. Quick fix ...

"Hello, this is Raja C******b. The purpose of this call is not a sales call. I would like to send you a free podcast examining <blah blah blah> and its impact on <blah blah blah>. I have your email address on file. May I send this to you?"

"No. Because this is not free, since my time is money. And also because this IS a sales call."

"It is not a sales call, sir. We would like to send you a free podcast..."

"... that will try to sell me something."

"No, sir. It is a free podcast examining..."

"...Something that will try to convince me to purchase a product or service."

"Ok, yes."

"Ok, bye."

A follow up about Mozilla IRL spotify radio.

Very interesting talk relates to internet and privacy in gerenal. (Not about programming btw)

Eg: Bose headphone app sends your data to data broker,
which ransomware rated with top customer service,
how to setup a bait for catching Twitter bots

It feels like Mozilla is fighting for justice.
I'm totally sold.

When you're trying to solve a problem and you're spinning your head around then you check your phone and see the co-founder of a service you love just liked your rant.

You feel like: awee!! thank you 😍

Then you get back to work with some good portion of dopamine in your head to support you

Thanks again for this service 🙏

being a sheep over the last years I just recently started to overthink my software choices in terms of privacy. but hell it's far from easy!
just now I realize how dependent I am from all of these services. I mean no problem ditching Facebook for example, it's not essential to me. but what about WhatsApp and GoogleDrive? I'm using these services on a daily basis...
any advices on what software or providers to use alternatively? especially browser, messaging app, email provider and cloud service?
please keep in mind that although I am willing to bring sacrifices I by no means want to neither could live like Richard Stallman. so an argument like "sell your MacBook because macOS is spyware" is not that helpful to me - more like what can I do to increase my privacy within the boundaries given to me. I have to find some sort of compromise. so curious about your advices, stories and opinions right now!

So we use SAP for this little thing.

Booking your work times in a self service. And guess what?!
That shitty piece of software cant handle such an easy task. I mean seriously what the heck?!

They load everything from the slowest server the world has ever seen.
It litterally takes 2 seconds to click a button and something happens.

I need at least 1 minute for one entry! ONE!!!!!

Not to forget to mention it is down like all the time. Hey there are more than 4 users?!
Lets burn the instance down to the ground. Yeah thanks SAP cloud. Great job!

The last communication we had was me asking you if you would like a service for that, with no response? And now, ten days later, you’d like an update on when it will be available?

Well I raised a pull request on your side a week ago, your developers have just been ignoring it.

What? No, I don’t know when it will be merged and ready.

So I just saw a post on Facebook about a "Serverless Function as a Service on Kubernetes". Could someone give me eye bleach please?

I really can't wait after Scoped Storage and how goddamn slow it is, to have a "glorified microservice" take 5 minutes to spin up a container, just to do something silly like printing a hello world. In the post it was apparently showing a QR code.. that's it. A fucking QR code, because remember it's just a function.

A whole fucking operating system that goes up and back down, just to run a goddamn fucking function!!!

hey do you know if there is a JavaScript libary for naming newly created files acording to user convention? Instead of "Unamed file".
Like [DATE]_[0000]_[NAME]_[SIZE].[Filetype] --> 20210708_0001_Pictureofme_1000x1000.jpg

There is a brand new service of the swiss post office that scans all your mail. But in the app it says only "unnamed document" for each new letter.
I'd like to suggest them, that you can set up a naming convention for each new pdf to my liking.
thank you 🙂

Do you guys have any issue with Firefox lately?

It's lagging and hanging a lot on my laptop since like two weeks ago.

I usually run like 2 windows with no more than 7 tabs each. So 15 tabs max in total.

The rest of service I run are sublime, terminal, Mailspring on my lubuntu LAMP stack. :(

The latest app I installed and used is Mailspring, so if nobody has similar issue, I'm gonna disable it and test.

New dev guy in office, Does zero research when stuck in somewhere while doing a task. Goes around asking the team if they had done that before. Talks on the phone for like 10-15 mins with god knows who when he has a technical problem.

Doesn't even bother to do a simple debug before complaining about an exception in a service to the dev who wrote it (if he knows the dev who wrote it)

Interestingly, he marks the tasks he does in a google sheet in red, yellow and green rows that's shared with our tech lead.

Not that he bugs me or anything, but just thought i should share this here.

Man I have no idea how my company is running as stable as they do. Every time I peak under the curtain of some piece of machinery I find such bad practices…

Just found out our in house database manager only supports listing all objects in a table, updating objects by first reading each row you need to update and only support “select *” queries.

This is after having to argue with some engineers that using http or grpc when interacting with the new service I’m writing in the none-jvm language is better than writing our own driver for their custom rpc and service discovery system.

But like honestly I’d be mad if these decisions had a visible performance impact on the business, but it somehow doesn’t… this is bizzaro world where all I learned from my 8 years experience as a professional goes out the window…

Since, I am already using Mullvad's vpn service, I also stumbled on https proxies.
Is it still safe to enter my devRant login data, when I would use a https proxy in FF's settings?
The Proxy is a free elite https proxy.
And devRant also uses SSL.
The traceroute would seem like this I guess.:
VPN(*le me sendin my password -> SSL Proxy -> SSL DevRant)
--------------------
Following that path, I would assume that it would be like this in detail:
HTTPS Request
-PW gets encrypted by VPN service
-" " " again " HTTPS Proxy
-" " " again " devRant itself

I was never a big fan of Github to be used within a company. So about 3 years ago where I used to work I implemented all the tools from Atlassian. Like litteraly all of them. And first I was stunned of the possibilities I had with Jira, Confluence, Bamboo and Bitbucket! But while self-hosting all thoose services you always felt, that Atlassian just bought all thoose companies and "threw them together"
BUT with newest features of Gitlab, I think they outperformed everyone! I absolutely love what they offer, even as a free service. They integrate all features in one product where you would otherwise relay on different products.
Whats important to you when it comes to VCS?

When I was in school I was in a vocational school and my program was a Computer Service and Networking class and that’s what it taught it’s pretty self explanatory. BUT we also did some programming.

I was the only one interested in programming really considering everyone else loved the hardware. But when they would ask for help it was awful.

The book we used didn’t format the python properly on the page so you can’t really tell if there’s an indent if you dont know python well (they didn’t) which is okay.

But what isn’t okay is asking me for help and SENDING ME A FUCKING VIDEO OF THE COde LIKE FUCKING WHAT THE HELL MAN THAT SHIT ISNT EVEN READABLE AND YOUR HAND IS SHAKING LIKE YOURE HAVING A STROKE AT LEAST SEND ME THE CODE OR WORST CASE A PICTURE.

This happened more than once. 😤

When a service has not yet seen release of version 1, and you are asked to start using version two which is still in beta like version one 🤦🏼‍♂️

We are researching enhancing our current alerting system (we use Splunk) to be 'smarter' about who is emailed/texted/whatever when there are problems in our applications.

Currently, if there are over 50 errors logged within a 15 minute period, a email/phone/text blast to nearly 100 individuals ranging from developers, network admins, DBAs, and vice presidents.

Our plan is to group errors by team and let each team manage their own applications. Alert on 1 error, 5, 500...we don't care, let the team work out the particulars.

The trick was interfacing with Splunk's API (that's a long rant by itself)

In about a day or so I was able to use Splunk's WebHook feature to notify a WebAPI service I threw together to send myself an email with details about the underlying data (simulating the kind of alert we would send to the team)

I thought ...cool... it worked. Show it off to the team, most thought it was a good start, except one:

Dev: "The errors are not grouped by team."
Me: "No, I threw the webapi service together to demonstrate how we can extract the splunk bits to get access to the teams"
Dev: "Well...this won't work at all."
Me: "Um..what?"
Dev: "The specification c l e a r l y states the email will be team based. This email was only sent to you and has all the teams and their applications"
Me: "Um...uh...the service can, if we want to go using a service route. Grouping by team name is easy using a LINQ query. I just through this service together yesterday."
Dev: "I don't know. Sounds like I need to schedule a meeting to discuss what you are proposing. I don't think emailing all that to everyone is a good idea."

WTF! Did you not listen to what I said?!!!

Oh well..the dev's proposal is to use splunk's email notification and custom Exchange rules with callbacks into splunk that resend...oh good lord ...a fracking rube goldberg of a config nightmare ...

I suspect we'll go the service route once I finish the service before the meeting.

Amazing how a giant cloud service like AWS can go down. It feels like the whole cloud is so fragile. All of a sudden it will rain and everything we know of will vanish.

Ok so riddle me this. The service for an application were required to run to send clients insurance through (as per government regulations) was working fine all day working super fast. Rare but awesome. I get a call one hour prior to the office closing (I don't work weekdays) and I am told that all of a sudden insurance isn't sending.

My mind goes right to this fu**ing process. Sure enough it's stopped on the server. Well shit ok. I click start..... Nothing. I kill it from task manager.... Nothing. "SERVICE CAN'T START"

I'm like ok that's fine let's check event logs.... Nothing. No problem let's just run it not in a service container and see if there's an error. NOPE IT DOESNT LET ME.

Okok so that's cool let's just try reinstalling the app. NOPE CAN'T DO THAT WITHOUT RESTARTING THE WHOLE FUCKING SERVER WHICH BRINGS THE ENTIRE OFFICES MANAGEMENT SYSTEM OFFLINE BECAUSE THIS FUCKING APP NEEDS TO BE ON THE SAME GODDAMN SERVER.

So my new car has now chevystar which is quite expensive, is fine and that, I don't really use it to be honest. Though it has a nice service to remember me if I'm on my 'no car day'-like with a google assistant -like voice.

But today while driving with my wife, we were listening music and the music stopped.

then, the fucking chevystar voice started:

"Remember you can get your new car now and start paying it in a year"

"Pay us a visit to your XXXX chevrolet dealer"

Sometimes I think that my computer is possessed.

The story goes like this (typical): adding a new feature creates a bug with something that worked perfectly until now. I find and solve the bug in a few minutes. Now the spooky part: with that sort of bug, even the code that worked up to now shouldn't have worked. But it did. Does someone knows a good Ghostbusters service?

Oh, my worst dev experience.

First of all everyone know it, people who ask you to repair there computer 🤦‍♂️
Or people who say: "Hey Windows Media player is not working now. Fix it"

But the best moment and worst too is a moment where I present my new website and a friend start to refresh the site with F5 on his browser. I ask him why he do it and he answere "Yeah, you will be rich when I do it"

I don't get it. Why rich? So I ask him and he answere that websites are paid by web request an "clicks" "views" counter.

That was the stupidest thing I ever hear. Okay when I would show ads than maybe it's "true" but without them🤦‍♂️

But that's not the end after I explained him that it's not so he fucked me up that I would be very stupid because I don't register on a service which pay you for it. I explained him that the only service could be an ad service but no he don't understand it and try to discuss with me that a service like this exist. I ask for a link to the service and he could not answer.

For me it was the worst experience because for me it was the most stupidest thing ever and he try to discuss with me and really we discuss 1 hour about it🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

soo after finishing 1 year of my 2 yr CS program, i moved back to my hometown so my partner wouldn't have to keep commuting for her career. couldnt get a cs job here with no experience and only 1 yr of school and like basically no portfolio to show for myself, i took a customer service job in a tech company with a lot of support for career pathing.

end goals are to end up working for their software dev team, mid goal is to switch into their web dev team from customer service since the career pathing is WAY easier from customer service to web dev, then web dev to sw dev rather than customer service straight to sw dev

so in the meantime i need to be practicing and building my portfolio but FUCK i have NO motivation and with coronavirus fucking up my life and everybody elses all i wanna do at the end of the workday and on weekends is melt into my bed in a semi-comatose state

i woke up early today to get some work done on my portfolio but all im doing is watching grey's anatomy and playing mobile games

i used to feel so motivated and excited to code but the excitement is gone and now even doing stuff for myself is a lot more like work than play

just need to rant it out rn

Does anyone know of a advertisement service that donates to charity directly? I'd like to put ads on my site, but I don't wanna do it manually

I got my domain from Swisscom (Switzerlands "T-Mobile") Every damn time I try to renew/adjust the domain it feels like I have to search for the fucking Higgs Boson. Searching for it on DDG only yields wrong results. Domains are hidden deep within the business part of their homepage. Their buisness site barely mentions domains, the login is somehow tied to an account you would normally use in combination with your phone number which only adds more to the confusion and the whole domain thing seems to be a shitty frontend coverup of someone elses service.

Every single time I present a tool for data visualization:

"Oh that's great! Have you considered integrating it with service XYZ? It would be great to see the data from XYZ alongside this."

The answer I would like to give:

"No, you retard! Nobody gives a fuck about your crappy service! Nobody uses it, not even your own team! This is the 10th service that I've been asked to integrate and I don't have time to dig into the details of yet-another-shit. If you have time to waste, please go ahead but don't bother me."

Someone: Let's use this XY.
---
Where XY is a new service, like Slack / Jira / ...
---

Yeah. Let's just add another workflow without any planning, thinking etc..

Not that we did that a thousand times already and it always ended in an ever growing pile of shit.

Sheesh 🙄

These pointless discussions...

I need guidance about my current situation.
I am perfectionist believing in OOP, preventing memory leak in advance, following clean code, best practices, constantly learning about new libraries to reduce custom implementation & improve efficiency.
So even a single bad variable name can trigger my nerves.

I am currently working in a half billion $ IT service company on a maintenance project of 8 year old Android app of security domain product of 1 of the top enterprise company of the world, which sold it to the many leading companies in the world in Govt service, banking, insurance sectors.

It's code quality is such a bad that I get panic attacks & nightmares daily.

Issues are like
- No apk obfuscation, source's everything is openbook, anybody can just unzip apk & open it in Android Studio to see the source.
- logs everywhere about method name invoked,
- static IV & salt for encryption.
- thousands of line code in God classes.
- Irrelevant method names compared to it's functionality.
- Even single item having list takes 2-3 seconds to load
- Lag in navigation between different features' screens.
- For even single thing like different dimension values for different density whole 100+ lines separate layout files for 6 types of densities are written.
- No modularized packages, every class is in single package & there are around 100+ classes.

Owner of the code, my team lead, is too terrified to change even single thing as he don't have coding maturity & no understanding of memory leak, clean code, OOP, in short typical IT 'service' company mentality.

Client is ill-informed or cost-cutting centric so no code review done by them in 8 years.

Feeling much frustrated as I can see it's like a bomb is waiting to blast anytime when some blackhat cracker will take advantage of this.

Need suggestions about this to tackle the situation.

Why some (ok, a lot of) sales and buying guys are there just to transform any service experience in something bad?

In my experience, most sales guys promises anything, with absurd deadlines and it's up to you to make it work. Things never get good enough and, after all, the client doesn't like the work, you don't like and the sales guy doesn't like you could not make a perfectly task.

Buying guys are even worse when buying services. Email 30 developers in BCC: "Hi, I need this done by tomorrow morning and I would like to know how much you charge for it. I need your proposals in the next 30 minutes". He closes the deal with the fastest and cheapest proposal.

These things make absolutely no sense to me.

I'd like to locally encrypt files before syncing it with the cloud; what's the "best" software available for this?

I'm currently switching to STACK as my cloud service (it's a file hosting service for Dutch people that offers 1TB of free storage).
But I don't feel fully comfortable with them having access to all my personal data.

So I came to the conclusion that it would be best to locally encrypt files before syncing it with STACK. I DuckDuckGo'd but there seems to be a lot of software available for this so I'm not sure which one to use.

Which one could you recommend me? I'd prefer a free software but I'm okay with paying as long as it isn't too expensive.

Today, I used NAT in a way I never before thought of as a solution to a problem - Exposing a service listening only on an internal address, to the internet, to a selected list of hosts.

For some reason, it made me a little sick in my mouth. It feels... Ugly, to solve this as such. But I was only copying this solution from a different server of the same client, so no reason to implement it differently and thus complicate future administration...

Is it normal to use DNAT like this?

I just realized that in my company , the code review is not important.... And the source code is fucked up.... The structure is like functional programming and Oop combine with redundant function everywhere.

And in the source code there's a folder called depreciating service , I asked them what is that , they told me it is the service previously but not recommended for using it.

I was like "you mean deprecated"? Omg

They don't care about code review and clean code here.

My struggle here is they dare to create one class for the entire project and every code are in that class...
This is fucking not acceptable.

I'm preparing to leave my current position.

Anyone have any recommendations on job search service?

I've been looking at indeed and I like their filter for remote and salary. Just want to make sure I'm not getting SEO bamboozled and miss out on a better job posting platform.

So, small note to all developers out here:

If you provide a Serverside program to update your software in a network, like M$ WSUS to remove internet traffic,
Please consider not to introduce Bugs in your newest version that make this Service unusable and patch it out later.

Microsoft did exactly this with the Anniversary Update 1607 last year.

Now, after each installation I have to install the most important patches manually to use the WSUS. Because when I go directly i get the newest version that is not tested in our environment. :(

This is From Sysop to Dev :-)

Ive been looking for a rant that mentionned being payed to review code for something like 50pounds an hour.

Can any one help me to either find the person/rant/company that offers this service?

I've got a kinda basic networking question I can't quite figure out

How does a push notification work?

Like, on an Android app. A good example is an authenticator. Say I don't login to the service for 4 months.

Then, one day, I try to log into the web portal and it prompts me to accept the request on my authenticator app on my phone.

Immediately, there's a push notification on my phone.

Wtf.

Is there a socket open for 4 months? Does it send requests every few seconds for 4 months? I can't imagine that either of these options scale whatsoever: both horrendously waste bandwidth and server connections.

How the fuck does it work? I don't even have the first idea.

Service status pages that poorly reflect actual service status are so annoying. Ex. GitHub is having a lot of latency issues with processing updates and like 5 people in my office noticed it while their status page still says everything is fine.

This isn't to explicitly call out GitHub since many service status pages behave like this, but it definitely shows a general weakness in these health checks. I've seen similar issues with tons of services, web hosts, etc. Monitoring is definitely hard but will hopefully keep getting better.

One day every 2 week, we got to spend the Friday just learning and trying stuff. No working on projects unless it's critical.
On these days, I feel like I learn much more than in the rest of the weeks.
Today I built (normally Python developer) a web service using Rust.

So I was rejected by the management today for promotion to Senior 2 although I have done several major feature developments + infra design and basically end to end ownership.

Reason for no promotion? That's the best fucking part, according to the feedback, the work I performed on the service I created is well-designed,
and the code quality is commendable. However, they pointed out a notable difference in code quality between the micro-service
I built and the rest of the project developed by others. This, apparently, suggests that I lack a strong sense of ownership over the broader product.

First of all, we have super tight deadlines (almost 996), and I burned midnight oil to make sure the service I am in-charge of is designed really well.
Also, how in the flying fuck the other how the inability of others to maintain good code quality elsewhere in the product is being used as evidence against my sense of ownership
and initiative in ensuring high engineering quality for the repository I wasn't even working on

What a delusional management, the entire feedback feels like just an excuse to fuck off, we are not promoting you...
May be instead of doing actual engineering work, I should have just do minimal work and write more design docs / technical artifacts

It is very demoralizing after I worked hard for so many months, product went out really well.. yet when performance review comes, rejected with a petty reason

Serverless.... More like "I want to sound cool so let me blackbox my backend with this premium service and pretend I don't have a server".

rant == false && help == true
I usually don't like posting non rant stuff here but I need help.
How do you usually design your service communication class?

I am working on a mobile app which contains talking to a REST service, I usually put all network calls in one class. Down side if it becomes a big class it becomes a pain to maintain. Any thoughts?

For a backend service I usually go with Repository design and it is working out well for me. But for mobile Apps I'd like to see if there is a better approach

Do you remember what kind of questions and information you were given *after* being hired as a programmer?

For example, in the service industry, they might tell you about payroll, how they do scheduling, what a typical day looks like for your role, etc.

So i was looking around for a VPN service. Ppl here seem to like Mullvad. I was looking at Mullvad NordVPN and PIA . I dont know a lot about NordVPN but PIA seems to be going opensource with theyr clients which i think is great. So can anyone say anything about the VPN services above. Good and bad stuff woul be appreciated!

I'm thinking of self hosting all my small web projects,

I have this old laptop running ubuntu server heedlessly I used to store and stream pirated movies, after multiple embarrassing moments with free backend/platform as a service options and not finding a cheap VPS, this seems like the way to go. I don't get much traffic on these sites i just want them to be available when i need to present them.

then there's tons of other features that are locked behind a paywall,

I once had to store images in the database because heroku wont accept file uploads and the project hadn't been paid, in short, I was dead broke

Jesus our security infrastructure people are stupid. They are telling us to secure a service that we don’t want accessible directly by the role “member” setup to be accessible by “member”. All because they “don’t want us changing identities in the middle of a chain of web service calls”. They are like “don’t worry, the fire wall keeps them out”.

That’s like saying “here’s the key to the bank vault, but you won’t ever get past the security guards so it’s okay that you have it.”

I swear this company is stone stupid.

Bad English aside I am so sick of incompetent customer service reps. Holy shit it's like they will hire anyone these days.

Here just read from this script and not the code version. That's all the tech you need to know right here on this single piece of paper.

Fucking incompetent bastards need to go work at a non technical job like Burger King because tech support is beyond them.

They'd probably fuck that up to. That's a completely different rant, those who can't even do fast food jobs right. At that point just go get on disability because your fucked.

To be fair I will occasionally get someone in the tech support sector who knows their shit but it's few and far between and its always a welcome surprise.

I genuinely have respect for people and their professions.

But . . . why the fuck are IT Support generally hard to deal with.

I don't fucking have access to a Service and I damn need access. Support immediately without checking says: no you do have access go to xyz find the service click on it bla bla bla.

Bitch, you think I didn't try all that and just felt like having a conversation with you?

wtf

Made a mysql innodb database go do a fancy shuffle like schrödingers cat, with many tables appearing as "ghosts", in production.

still not sure what went wrong.
i noted it was extremely slow and thought restarting the service might Help it...

Why do people have to have surnames like "Test" and "Sample"? We even have a contact record for an organisation called "Testing Circle", Circle being the name of one of our service providers, but this other organisation is unrelated and genuine.

So a client came today to me saying his domain that I setup some time ago isn't working on a specific russian internet provider, checked everything and then came across a blogpost stating cloudflare IPs are blocked. Researched further and it came out that those fucking retards from the "Federal Tax Service of the Russian" blocked a ton of cloudflare IPs because russian online casinos used them like a year ago.

Then checked another domain he had a problem with and the godaddy IPs were also banned - even more extreme they were banned for like 14 incidents, what the fuck, had to create a new account to get a new ip/nameservers assigned from cloudflare, jesus fucking christ.

I really like programming but after 5 years I realized it's a very social job. We have to deal with others more than the marketing people or heck even some customer service people.

What does my current job hate descriptive names? Like to the point of active antagonism? We're a subscription based service. Why is SubscriptionExpiration the date you log in? Why does SubscriptionStatus only contain the name and id of product you're subscribed to and nothing to do with an actual status? All I need is the date a user subscribed. Why is this so hard!?!?

I feel like there should be a bureau or organization that collects all the fare information and route information from all transportation companies and publishes them under one unified freely available service for trip planning.

Including local buses, subways and light rail.

!dev. NMBS is Belgian rail service
Fucking NMBS you arseholes! Put a cactus in your arse and a pinecone in you urethra and go sit in lotus position with me in your neck!! The fucking train of 0920 still has to leave, it'd 1250 now! My train has been cancelled, everything else has at least 30 minutes delay. They announce over the speakers that a train will come in 3 minutes to the next station. Train fucking rushes by like a fucking drugged roadrunner with TNT on its burning tail! You had better payed back my ticket or I'll smash jn that fancy window at your ticket office and choke you until you carry me home fucking arseholes.

I'm so sick of devs not caring what happens after they push their code. A new feature was released on the front-end two weeks ago but the backend was never deployed. It's been logging errors for 2 weeks now.

I know I'm equally at fault for not noticing but I feel like the only person that ever notices things like this. I also discovered a data issue today by looking at the error logs.

How can I get my teammates to be more invested in how the service runs live?

Worst part of being a dev?

Explaining the issue simply enough for the business while not looking like im purposely dumbing down what i do.

"The thing failed to connect due to an issue on the service side. Think of trying to order taco bell while its closed for cleaning."

I've been working on a side project for a while(many months) and I'm at my 3rd refactoring and concluded that the greater service I want to achieve the more complex the project become, nothing exceptional, except I feel like doing the effort of an entire team of software developers.

Someone else has/d such a feeling/experience? If yes, I would like to hear your thoughs/story(just curious ;)

Ps: soon I'll reveal some screenshots here :3

So.

I just sat here and listened to some awful gibberish that sounded kind of like the language a person would use to describe logistics or construction, but that still lacked so much filler language that a straight spew of jargon doesn't seem likely.

reminds me of every single time I hear someone describe new technology that ends up bombing.

like the push towards graph databases which I personally can't understand the underlying storage mechanism which would make them work

of someone describing locks to your house that can be unlocked from a cellphoen over the internet.

or 2 form factor authentication and what happens if you lose your phone and there is no customer service ?

on that last maybe they could take a sample of every customers voice every year or a fingerprint or a blood sample :P

The worst? There is a company called Colleseum Software that makes a piece of shitware called Aimi Ebook. It was supposed to let you send your FFL paperwork directly so you could do background checks before letting people walk out of your store with a gun. The company itself is a bag of dick, and whenever there were problems, they would put together some shitty solution like using a bat file on our server to keep their stupid service from fucking all over itself. I encountered this when I was working for an MSP handling IT needs and I don't know that I've encountered anything worse.

When I think my teachers can get any worse after sending me snippets of several Java classes in a single txt, one of them sent me SQL code of a full database dump in a Word document. 8 pages of SQL in its full glory!

I guess using the proper file extension/format or a service like PasteBin or GitHub Gist is way too advanced for them.

a federated AWS-like service where people share their resources, lives 100% on crypto and is easy to use and join.

Even though I like Javascript I get so frustrated over all the libs and frameworks that is so good. And then some forks. And then all deps because everyone wants to have a cool npm package. So, took a deep breath, went for a run in the forest and started looking at Go for the small service(s) that from the start was thought to be a NodeJS thing. Might be fun.

I am working on a freelance project for a software dev startup. The api service endpoints given to me is so full errors that you can boldly say it's zero percent tested and you'll be correct. The project was meant to last for a week but now it's going to a month due to the errors I have encountered while working with the given API service, so more like a back and forth wait for an update kind of thing. I am close to done building the client but yes they cannot test my last update because someone updated the login endpoint which now returns 500 internal server error. I really want to vent out my frustration to this company without loosing them to the project but honestly i don't know how to do it.

Edit: Just for a side note, about the relationship this client is my former company.

Best debug ever?

Some years ago we had to do a web project as group. It was a cinema like website with backend and front-end.

So in the end we arrived at the presentation and while scrolling the code I found commented out some authentication controls 😅😆 (probably for debug reason lol)
Whatever, meanwhile, while I was talking with the professor two of my mates were whispering... Turns out they found what he mail service wasn't working. And what's best than fix it, push it to the Heroku server and restart all? XD
The professor noticed some little lag in a button and asked "what's happening?"
"oh, nothing we just restarted the server "

If I need 2 weeks to implement a new feature, I need at least one more week to find better solutions which make the code easier to read. Then I would like to spend yet another week to think about other solutions to make sure I can't find one that is even better..

I hardly ever get that time but when I do, I create something beautiful..

The last time I was able to reduce > 2000 lines of code to a about 50 lines generic service which is easily extendable and understandable.

Do you include stuff like this in your estimations?

Since the last update of the company antivirus some things became terribly slow, like IE dev tools, they are standard slow, but now they ere horribly slow, copying a 500MB file over the network to my pc now takes 10 minutes and the worst part is git. Git is unusably slow so i can't use git-tfs anymore and have to use standard TFS again.
And whenever all of this is happening there is always the same thing on the top spot of CPU usage 'trend micro unauthorized change prevention service'.
Oh how I hate that antivirus crap

Dear AWS, your Elasticsearch service is a bogus pile of shit-engorged horse fly larvae. Not only do you give no useful visibility into what's happening with the cluster (making diagnosis a sadistic guessing game), you lock down the fucking settings API, making it impossible to debug!! But your excellent support is on it! I wonder if I'll hear back from them this week with another inane suggestion like "increase the node count". Meanwhile the rest of my system is limping along, sometimes getting data where it's supposed to be while I keep fake-smiling and reassuring management and customers that "I'm working on it". If you're going to offer a service either make sure it works or get the fuck out of my way. I'll be moving my cluster back to EC2 and you can go do a back flip off a skyscraper. I need a drink