Job offers be like:
We need a VIRGIN with atleast 2 years EXPERIENCE of SEX...

"We are looking for a developer with 10 years of GDPR experience."

Android Developer job ads next week:
* +10 years of experience in Kotlin.
* +3 years developing enterprise level apps using Kotlin.

Like one of those jobs that demand 12 years of experience with Kubernetes (which was released 6 years ago)

recruiter:
I see you worked for 5 years at xyz and you used c# but your CV says you used other technologies like sql and you did testing.. So how much of your time was spent writing c#?

me:
Most of the time.. Maybe 60%.

recruiter:
Ok, let me work that out... ok I will put down that you have 3 years c# experience.

Interviewer: So how long did you work at your last job?

Man: 30 years

Interviewer: and how old are you?

Man: 22 years

Interviewer: you're 22 and you have 30 years of experience that's not possible

Man: and you are looking for a junior dev with 5 years of experience

A Java Development vacancy I came across today:

Requirements:

Must:

° Appropriate Education
° Work Experience with Java/Javascript knowledge, at least 2 years, good understanding of OOP, patterns
° Experience with Spring, NoSQL(MongoDB)

Preferably:

° Experience with Tomcat/Jboss/Glassfish
° JDBC, JSF, JSP, JSTL, Angular, ExtJS
° HTML5, CSS3, XML, Jquery, Bootstrap, Primefaces
° Hibernate
° Git/SVN

Objective:

° Implementation of specific requirements
° Cooperation with business analytics and clarification of reuirements
° Participation in the development of application architecture and technology selection

Who are they hiring?

10 years of dev experience. Never forget your first errors

Job opening tells us that they want someone who knows:
C, C++, C#, Java, VB, PHP, HTML, Javascript, MySql, Postgree, windows, Linux, Mac OS, a degree in computer science and a few years of experience.

What you'll actually do in most of those jobs: Deal with Excel spreadsheets.

LinkedIn: I only have a profile because I like to fuck with recruiters.

"I have 30 years of experience in Java, 15 years in Android, and 49 years in C++"

And I STILL get contacted. Those people DESERVE to be fucked with.

Recruiter: "Do you have at least 5 years of experience with Angular?"
Me: "No, barely half a year"
Recruiter: "Then why did you get in touch with me?"
Me: "You were the one calling me [you moron]"

Every dev job I see:

You need a billion years of experience, and must be able to fistfight Sauron

Interviewer: "Hi, we are searching for a junior frontend dev with 1 year of experience and strong skills with Angular".
Me: "I have never used Angular before but I have 4 years of experience, It's not a problem for me to study it and use it quickly".
Interviewer: "Eh no, we are searching for someone with very strong Angular skills".
Me: "That's fine, but sorry how can a junior dev with just 1 year of experience have already strong skills with Angular? He must have also strong skills with JavaScript in general and It's quite impossible".
Interviewer: "Ehh... ehm.... ehmm..."

"years of experience" basically means nothing, both for people and organisations. You can work with someone who has 30 years experience who knows nothing, and someone with 1-2 years who's practically an expert.

Joined a large multi-national fresh out of college, that had been around for +90 years. I expected them to know software development inside and out. Didn't expect to see so many failed projects for stupid reasons, so many over sights, so many .... morons, to be honest.

Worked for a startup company where most only had 1 or 2 years more experience than me and learned so much.

Worked for a small company where everyone had 1.5 - 2 times my experience, where I learned the meaning of "bewilderment".

Never feel small, or less valuable because of a number. Theres a good chance you are working with jackasses - practiseSafeHex

Okay, it just happened to me.

Researching jobs, found one that requires ReactJS 7+ years of experience.

Initial release: May 29, 2013; 5 years ago

Found this at a company's website they need an Android developer with (10 years of experience) 🤔😕

Sometimes it just feels really good to see recruiters getting burned. A stupid one recently posted:

"When you find the candidate that has 15 years of experience in AWS, has a PhD in Artificial Intelligence, speaks 6 languages and is under budget... "

The comments immediately mentioned that AWS was formed 12 years ago.

Haha, what a stupid fuck!

I was assigned to be a mentor for the first time in my 23 years of existence. She was a junior.

Turned out she had more knowledge and coding experience than me. So I could not mentor her.

Recruiter: hi, I have an iOS Developer role. Would you be interested?

Me: sure, send me on the spec.

Recruiter: ok great so for this Full stack app developer role we are looking for someone with:

- 5+ years embedded C/C++ experience
- 5+ years of working with Windows and Linux
- Native Android development
- As well as Native iOS experience

Interested?

Me: ......... ok buddy, you and me are going to have a little chat about what “iOS Developer” means

Every job description out there:
" JUNIOR XY position.
Requirements: 50 years experience of Assembly, Java and Masonry, HTML, cloud based computing and artificial intelligence. Must be able to write algorithms like Hummingbird. Fluent in English, Mandarin and Latin. Must have five doctor and two Bachelor degrees. Experience in leading a Fortune 500 company benefitial.
Renumeration: 5 rice grains"

My teammate used p tag and made it look like a button using css.

He has 10 years of web development experience.

My girlfriend said when she first started doing tech recruiting she asked a candidate "How many years of experience do you have in C.... pound sign...?"
I would absolutely die if I had a question like that haha

Jobs description be like "Seeking virgins with 3 years of sexual experience" 🤔

How does one get 3-5 years of experience if every job requires 3-5 years of experience? 🤔

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it - unless the customer's paying."

Rule I've never learned and main reason why I don't have enough money despite 25+ years of experience.

So a company is looking for a web developer intern with minimum 3 years of job experience! What kind of intern that would be!

Android development is such an enormous realm. It's simply incredible.

Even after more than 2 years of programming android apps, I can experience a different exception every day!

Today, I interviewed a candidate for an entry position. I noticed our job post had a requirement of 30+ years of experience in C++.

I fixed it to "Basic implementation skill in C++".

A guy that just did not know how to code. He had years and years of experience (?), but DID NOT KNOW HOW TO CODE. He was given a simple task, spent weeks on it and what came out was usually 60 lines of "if, elseif, elsif....else".

He was given several warnings, and eventually "voluntarily" left the company.

I still get screenshots of his code sent by one of my ex-colleagues who's still there when he stumbles across it.

Why the fuck do all these good fucking companies need that proven fucking 3 years of work fucking experience to join? You gotta fucking start somewhere

Wtf how am I seeing job postings for senior blockchain developers with 8+ years of experience? Aint this shit like super new??

Just when I thought I'd seen the craziest job ad...

Title: Sr. Lead Data Scientist / Python Developer

Required education: bachelor's in CompSci, Math, etc. PhD preferred (lol)

Required experience: 10+ years in Python development

Other requirements: must be under 25 years of age to qualify for funding from EcoCanada (lmao!!!! y'all trippin)

Who is writing these job ads? I swear they get more insane every day.

Who the fuck is able to not understand the basics of git. With ten years, supposedly , of front end experience. How in the hell do you not understand version control.

Company: "We only accept the best programmers! 5 years of experience in 100 different Javascript frameworks!"

Also company: Random alert popup saying "page loaded" everytime you click next on application form.

#wannaCry Ransomware:

US engineers trying to find antivirus

Europe engineers finding preventing tools

meanwhile...

Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented fix for wannaCry ransomware"

Meanwhile...

Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "wannacry"

And meanwhile....

in Hyderabad Ameerpet - people might be seeing banners of training institutes mentioning that they have trainers available with 10 years of industry experience on this.😜😜😝😝

Blockchain has existed since 1900s.

Which means that every single person who has touched a lego has blockchain experience of as much as {YOUR_AGE} years.

Future eligibility criteria for Dev jobs.
5 years of experience ranting on devRant.

I applied for a flutter position at a company.They asked me if I have 5+ years of experience programming with flutter.
I left the room at that very instant.

Flutter was launched in 2017.

After a 4 year CS college completed and 3 years of java experience I have found the biggest challenge of my life when my gf asked me to teach her programming. After explaining 10 times what a class and an object is , I started to understand how frustrating is for a teacher with a shitty pay to teach an know-it-all dumb fuck to write a hello world after 2 years of college.

an actual recruiter on LinkedIn:

looking for a full stack developer with 10+ years of experience with React programming and 5+ years of experience with the blockchain and machine learning.

People on stackoverflow are really just the worst. Ok whatever, you have 20 years of experience more than me, and you've written code in dozens of languages. Doesn't grant you being a dick to me and downvote my answer just because it could've been written in 1 line instead of 5.

A: There is not even a single forum for cyber security. Let's build one.
Me: Are you sure that there is not even a single forum?
A: Yes, I'm a cyber security expert. I have 5 years of experience in this field.
Me: **walks out quitely**

Me: I have 7+ years of experience as a frontend developer. I’m very proficient with modern frameworks and tools such as React, Vite, etc.

Senior technical HR Generalist recruiter: are you familiar with HTML?

Seriously, HRs are so dumb

Searching for new jobs when i find this:

Backend Developer

Education:

Computer Science (Bachelor's degree)

Languages:

English (spoken proficiency: Conversational/Business written proficiency: Conversational/Business)

Skills:

Ruby on Rails (+5 years of experience)
HTML (+5 years of experience)
CSS (+5 years of experience)
.NET (+5 years of experience)
HapiJS (+5 years of experience)
ExpressJS (+5 years of experience)
Django (+5 years of experience)
Elixir (+5 years of experience)
Ruby (+5 years of experience)
Python (+5 years of experience)
Java (+5 years of experience)
Javascript (+5 years of experience)

That moment when your at a career fair and a non-tech recruiter won't hire you because you don't have the paper experience but the tech recruiter is questioning a guy with "5 years of Java experience" who can't answer what an anonymous inner class is.

Headhunter: So how many years of experience do you have with X?

Me: Why does it matter? I have been a software engineer for a decade, I can pick up anything in a matter of weeks.

Headhunter: *writes in his notepad: 0 experience with X"*

Temporary coworker with 10+ years experience, working on C++ codebase with me since 3 months, just asked me what the continue-statement in C/C++ does.

That must be either a sign of an upcoming apocalypse, or me being heavily underpaid.

I have 30 years of experience, don't be a dick!

Recruiters now a-days :
Recruiter : I noticed you have java script experience on your resume, we’re looking for a junior Java developer with 7 years of experience

Me : -_____________-

My boss has no idea what he is doing. Scary for a senior programmer, with 20 years of experience. The guy keeps calling methods statically, in a object oriented project. And can't understand why it won't work.

I have at least 2 years of experience and still need to google how to put text on top of an image 🙃

Here's why I hate HR:

Applied to a job and requirements where:
> 3 years + experience with the good old combo HTML CSS JS (oh yeah)
> 3 years + experience with Vue or React (Vue specialist is here baby 😎)
> Salary higher than the average

Got a call on the same day from HR, and she asks:
> Years of experience with Java
> Years of experience with native android development
> Years of experience with Swift or iOS development
> *I started to get confused*
> Then came questions about my machine and if I had good Internet
> And only then she asked about the requirements for the job

2 days later she says I don't fit the job bc they work with different languages

That's why I hate HR, fr.
They didn't know what UI or UX meant.
And kept saying that Vue, angular and react where languages

Languages

You shouldn't look for people with 10 years experience. You shouldn't exclude them but the people w/o experience need experience anyways and maybe they bring something fresh to your tables..

I know "designers" who would say they have 10+y.e. but I mean they design websites that to this day, use table layout and oldish looking design language.. (ofc there are examples that state the opposite!)

Measuring people by their years with experience is just silly..

Another crappy job advertisement this time courtesy of Glassdoor: get spammed to death by job ads.

So it says graduate software engineer but they want someone with ideally 1 -3 years of B2 experience, seriously how is this fair?

Like with my other job ad rants:

What a fucking joke, lol

"we use cookies to give you a better experience on our site"

A better experience? Really?

It looks like you're using more than 100 external parties for whatever fucking reason. It is nearly impossible to disallow these, except for some stuff like analytics, which I don't like since it includes mass surveillance parties like Google and Facebook, but I'd at least, to some extent, understand that better.
But, the amount of dark pattern here is staggering and this kind of 'consent' you're using wouldn't, in a million years, hold up under the GDPR.

You know what would be a better experience? No tracking and no ads.

Go fuck your better experience (would that be a better sex experience....?)

I woke up and had a thought...

I may have exceeded "10,000 hours of experience" in programming.

10,000 hrs / 2hrs per day / 360 days in a year = 14 years

I've been programming for 20 years as a hobby, and 5 years professionally which I think averages out to the 2hrs per day

I wonder if and how I should put that more explicitly on my resume. And maybe that's why I see so many monkeys at work...

hardest part of finding a job related to ur developing skills is that theyre asking for years of experience
fucking hell thats why im looking for a job to get more experience

I was looking through UX/UI designer jobs the other day, and then I checked the minimum requirements for it:

"React.js 7+ years of experience"

...

react came out 5 years ago

Interviewed 6 candidates yesterday.

all of them had 2+ years of experience in web but none of them know how to use selectors in jQuery other than '#' and '.'

LEARN YOUR STUFF PROPERLY 😠😠😠😠

I literally don't understand why every entry level dev position requires a minimum of 5 years of experience. Have people forgot what entry level means?!?! I just want a new job 😩

Yesterday I spent some time on the meta site for dba.stackexchange.com and found this one guy with 1 rep raging about how his questions aren't getting answered and how is answers are the best etc...

"I have 17 years of experience as a dba, blah, blah, blah, my answers are correct, blah, blah"

He got pretty destroyed by the mods and other users about how shit his answers were and how they weren't factually correct etc...

This just continues to show that no matter how much experience you have you won't always be right.

Same goes for my senior at work, he has 10 years more experience than me (I have 2) and he still asks for my point of view and help without being a dick about it.

I hope we'll all keep being nice people unlike that Stackexchange guy...

Needed x years of experience in a language that's < x years old for an entry level job 🙃

I should put "Have 3 years of meetings experience" in my resume.

I've never learned how to program : I'm still learning.

Even if it's said 5 years of experience on my resume, I feel like I'll be a never-ending student.

Me: * Has roughly 1.5 years of PHP experience *

LinkedIn recruiter: Hello Java expert with lots of Oracle enterprise experience, wanna call?

Job title: "Junior Application Developer"

Rest of job description: "4 years experience...Career level: Experienced hire/Professional"

Meaning: "Looking for a senior level programmer willing to work for a junior salary."

I hate job hunting.

Browsing job postings, and some of these requirements are just crazy, and/or wtf. Here's an example:

Front End developer wanted, junior to mid-level. An ideal candidate will be an expert in PHP, C#, and Java. Minimum experience of 10 years. Estimated compensation 30,000 per year.

Entry level full stack developer. Must be an expert in SQL. 5 years experience, BS in computer science required.

Web Developer intern - must have 3 years of experience. Must be an expert in x, y, z. This position is unpaid.

Sheeit.

When you're a freelance web developer with 3 years of experience and they be teaching you basics of programming in college

My colleague and I have 12 years of college and 10 years of experience between us. Can't figure out how to connect a fucking phone headset.

Job posts that look for experience in everything! Experience in large scale enterprise kubernetes bullshit! What the fuck is kubernetes, a Greek god?? 4 plus years experience in aws! 5 years experience in cloud infrastructure scaling! 5 years experience in working with stakeholders and collaborating UX design! 5 years experience in React Native! 5 years experience in noSQL! 5 years experience in firebase! 5 years experience in graphics design! 5 years experience in node CSS! And every javascript known to mankind! I would love to meet this legendary developer that every company seems to want! Sick of these ads that ask for god level experience in every development role or tech. It’s like they’re hiring one developer to write their entire system from scratch which would obviously require godly expertise in front back and every fucking end there is to fucking build

My company just got a new developer to work on a legacy PHP app.

My boss was boasting about how this guy has more years of professional experience than me ( I have 9 months of experience and he has been working for 4 years on PHP).
Today was one week since he started and I had him set up a REST API, I had to explain to him what json_encode does and how http requests work.

Tech companies be like:

"We're looking for some young graduates with at least 12 years of experience"

"Ah no, reusable frameworks and libraries are a terrible idea. What you need is a bunch of very lightweight files that you can copy / paste from project to project"

- Mobile Architect, Large m.n.c, 10+ years experience.

Applying to internships today and I see this

“
Job type: Internship

Requirements:
- Atleast 2 years of professional experience as a software engineer
- ...
“

Wtf is this????

Why does an intern need 2 years of professional experience?

Isn’t an intern supposed to be an entry level job?

Am I wrong in thinking this is crazy?

I just updated my resume and added the following:

2 years of Carbon experience.

Looking at open positions, noticed that some of the jobs I've seen a year ago are still looking for an engineer with 2+ years of experience.....
Could of taken anyone and taught him everything you need already..... You had a full year SMH

Applying to more internships today and found this:

Position: full stack blockchain engineer intern

Basic qualifications:
- 7+ years of experience in software development
- 2+ years experience developing smart contracts
- 5+ years professional experience in Java, Go, Node.js

Wtf is this? What intern has 5+ years of professional software development?

Why even label the posting as an intern when u want someone with years of experience?

Stupid fucking shit I swear

Searching for local jobs, I found this gem:
- At least 4 years of experience in Unity3D with HTC Vive and Oculus devices.

Then people ask me why I want to work on another country...

Me: Hi! I'd like to apply for the front-end developer position!
Them: Mmhmm. What's your education? It involves a lot of javascript.
Me: I recently earned a certificate in javascript development for front-end, on top of my professional experience.
Them: What's you're experience?
Me: 8 years of professional front-end development.
Them: Hmm. That won't work. What about this job, Implementation Specialist?
Me: So I have to help the customer write requirements, train the customer with new software, write documentation for the customer... you want me to apply to be in customer support?

Would I have spent the last 8 years of my life learning and earning programming if I liked dealing with people?

Just found a job posting requiring 6-12 years of React experience. React came in 2013.

While configuring wifi acess for a new joinee who claimed 5 years of experience.

Me: please share your mac id over chat.

Him: 192.168.0.32

Me: @

GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES. MANY PEOPLE RANT ABOUT JOB HUBTING AND INSANE REQUIREMENTS. SO HERE IN SPAIN I'M SURE THE SITUATION IS WORSE. NO FUCKING JOBS. WHEN YOU FIND AN OFFER THAT DOESN'T MENTION PHP, JAVA OR COBOL OHH. YOU NEED TO BE A FUCKING WP, FULL STACK, ANDROID AND IOS DEVELOPER, A FUCKING SYSADMIN AND HAVE 99 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. SO YOU CAN SAY: hey search a junior offer! YEAH SURE ONE SECOND. 4-15 FUCKING YEARS OF FUCKING EXPERIENCE. GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES AAAAH

I'm not being high and mighty but I wonder how come someone claims they have loads and loads of years of experience in software engineering and they cannot even write an English sentence with a space after each comma.

That moment when the instructor is explaining array in Java, and you are the only one in the batch having 4 Years of Experience, and Certification by Oracle

So.. years of experience. Dozens of projects. Been through several companies, budiness trips.

Googling: how to convert JSON string to a dictionary

5 months ago I've decided to back to the programming after 8 years of Civil Engineer careere. Today I'm working at amazing tech startup (BaaS) and every day is an awesome experience, I think that it was one of the best decisions in my life.

Entry level position requiring 4 years of experience. Ha-Ha

It's 2017. This person used an AsyncTask to get results from an API. During a hiring task. He has over 2.5 years of experience.

Quite recently I received an email from a recruiter who first claimed that they had seen my resume, told me I may be a great fit for a job of one of their clients, and then proceeded to list the job description. That's typical, but what caught my eye was the fact that the first requirement he mentioned was 7+ years experience with Java. If he had actually read my resume, he probably would've seen that not only do I not have any experience with Java, but that I am a 20-year-old who made damn sure to put on my resume that I only have 2 years of experience in total...

Junior developer vacancy.
requirement:
minimum of 10 years experience in angularjs.

I just saw this.

Yesterday, I got a job offer having prerequisites as 10 years experience of android studio....lol

Confession: In my almost 10 years of professional dev experience, I have never written any kind of units tests for my code. Ever.

"Fresh grad ~ 10 years of experience"

Dafuk is that supposed to mean. Does HR have to know IT just to get that shit right?

As a fresh/recent graduate, how I'm supposed to get a job if the minimum requirement for an internship or entry-level job is 2-3 years of working experience! And why the fuck my open source and personal projects don't add any value to my experience!

Interview at amazon on Monday, wish me luck! Any advice? I've got 3-4 years experience, so not grad but not huge amount of experience.

It fucking pisses me off when people compare experience as a benchmark of his performance or knowledge while hiring for job and even salaries depend on that. How do you know that, that guy has jerked around while the younger guy with less years of experienco would work better and harder.
What is your experience with people like that?

**My Resume** : Worked with JavaScript and .NET for the last 3 years ... have an Associates degree...more things

**Recruiter**
You look like you'd be a great fit for this position. We require a Bachelors degree, but we're willing to take 4 years progressive experience in lieu of each year of schooling.

**First**
4 YEARS of experience for EACH YEAR of school?

**Me**
I guess basic reading and math aren't required to be a job recruiter? Man...Only 5 more years and I'll be able to see how my skills as a developer with 8 years of professional experience will go over as an Entry level developer!

Today in programming class someone said "Nobody understands that shit"... And I'm sitting here with my nearly 4 years of experience in programming... :(

Job posting: "we require 1.5 years of experience in iOS development"

Also job posting: *doesn't mention a requirement for a degree*

Me: "Cool, this looks exactly like a job for me, I'll send them my résumé!

Recruiter returns to me a day after with this:

"You said you have no work experience, we said in the posting that you need to have 1.5 years of work experience"

THE JOB POSTING DOES NOT MENTION THIS ANYWHERE, THEY ONLY MENTION EXPERIENCE IN IOS DEVELOPMENT

WHY MAKE IT SO AMBIGUOUS AND THEN CHANGE YOUR STANCE

When I finally get a fucking response from a recruiter after sending my résumé to dozens upon dozens of companies, it's a bullshit response.

FUCK YOU.

Note: I am aware of the massive amount of AltRant crashes, I am sorry for making it worse. I need to work on 2 more major final tests that I must pass, but I think I will start fixing some of the crashes today.

So apparently 15 years of indie dev experience means nothing in the corporate world...

a JUINOR dev role job posting requires 7+ years of experience including 3 years of SENIOR experience, I feel like im in a movie...

Just saw an ad on LinkedIn.

First line: looking for JavaScript developers of all levels

A bit further down...

Requirements: 4+ years of JavaScript experience plus whole front-end stuff

The fuck is wrong with people?

At least the salary is not crap.

When the hero turns into villain.

Windows memory management is one of the worst architectural designs in tech industry to ever exist.

One mistake on my part is I did not opt for SSD four years ago when my purchased my current laptop.

The entire experience is irritating.

Recruiter:
I have an excellent opportunity for you! You're experience is exactly what my client is looking for.

Me: (Just got laid off a week's go) Awesome! Send me the details.

Recruiter: here they are
10+ years experience with Java, Spring frameworks...

My thoughts: Hmm I only worked with java for two years 3 years ago. Since it's been full-stack JavaScript. Total of 5 years in industry...

Me: Nah, doesn't look like my type of position... Thanks though

Recruiter: Just go interview and try it out.
<Proceeds to blow up my phone several times a day for a few days>

To Recruiters: Know when to stop. Also, read my LinkedIn profile. Where it says, looking for full-stack JavaScript opportunities.

WTF !!! It's been two years since I choose my life as a developer and they are expecting me to have an experience of 5 years. It's like one of those posts :) LOL

Saw a job posting today for an EXPERT React Native Developer.

At least they didn't ask for years of experience Lol

A job on monster.com:
Wants 5+yrs of experience on Swift.
Swift just came out 3 years ago

I want a developer job so baaaddd :( !!! My city sucks for technology jobs. And the few jobs open want 50+ years of experience 😫

Am I the only one that thinks it's extremely fucking stupid that the software engineering industry is simultaneously experiencing a "shortage of talent" and maintaining the same ATS that filters legitimate talent just because the resume doesn't fit keyword specifications?

We see it every day. People with years of experience that should never be allowed to touch important code. People with little to no experience that learn fast and perform well. Fuck years of experience being the only thing some recruiters see.

"We generally don't hire people with less than 3 years experience" shut your fucking mouth. Ridiculous. You hire people out of college, don't lie to my face.

Oh and don't even get me started on how many people fabricate their industry experience and get interviews from it. That's what happens when recruitment patterns fail to catch up to an industry that increasingly trains people better up front, and in shorter time periods, and values skills that ATS doesn't give a shit about.

Crazy idea: make job applications test problem solving competency instead of weeding out quality candidates.

Job searching is frustrating.

Today I spent 25 minutes explaining to this dev that there’s no way that a http request can access directly to an ftp server and retrieve a file.

A dev with 4 years of experience...

Recruiter: how many years of experience do you have?
Me : 4
Recruiter: the client wants someone with a minimum of 5 years
Me : okay then, let me know if anything else is available.
Recruiter: You can change your resume... just add a year.
Me : ???? No thanks
Recruiter: they’ll never know ... you can tell them later
Me : ....

My fellow dev (a younger guy) and I have been having a lot of disagreements with the lead dev (obviously a more experienced, older guy).
We can have arguments with him all day long, to explain and convince him that he's not that right, or not right at all.
Or we can keep silent and wait for shit to happen.
I'm already applying the stfu strategy myself... Because the other way round is exhausting.
At the same time, naturally, I'm looking for opportunities somewhere else. And, naturally, in those job ads, they state "X years of experience".
This further sets me off.
I'm sick of having an argument shut down because someone has X more years of experience, at a higher position, thinks he is better.
I am starting to hate people who boasts his years of experience instead of having the real knowledge and skills to create value.

Start your career at a startup... Only join a corporate or start your own business few years after that... In startups you'll face lots of issues that'll build your technicality and give you a very valuable experience

All these certifications and capabilities and years of IT experience and I find myself writing analytics against Minecraft logs for my kids's MC server to determine that my son really is being a jerk in game like my daughters claim.

It's funny how 7 years of experience in coding made me a professional repairman.
You'll be surprised how good you are at repairing broken screen on your relatives phone just because you know C#... 😭

Recruiter: company looking for 4+ years of software engineering experience.
Me: I don't have 4+ years of experience.
Recruiter: I think it should be fine.
Me: lol fuck off

Brain: Imagine if human live for 500 years.

Me: It'd be so awesome...

Job requirement: 100 year of JavaScript experience for junior dev.

omg....XD

Just realizing now that I've probably spent 60% of my programmer age (years of experience) waiting for dependencies to install and praying that the 9 kB/s connection I'm struggling with remains alive every single fucking time otherwise I have to start the wait all over. 😡😡😡

Hi, I am a recruiter representing awesome projects. It's the next thing after machine learning! You would be crazy not to apply.
But the is a strict requirement: you need to have 69 years of experience in devRant. Please comment if you have serious interest.

Best dev experience of 2017:

Being able to support my family with my work.

Knowing that all of us have health, vision, and dental insurance solely because of me.

Finally being able to give back to those who have helped me over the years.

I'm starting to have suicidal thoughts though the Javascript and the whole frontend.

Is anyone looking for a Ruby Developer with 2 years of experience with Ruby, 2 years with pure SQL databases and half year with React?

I don't want to see only Javascript for 8 hours per day for the rest of my life.

Worst experience: being laid off when the startup I worked for lost a deal. I loved that project :(

Best experience: my new company sent me to USA for a few days to meet the client. I've gained a lot more of confidence on my spoken English. I've didn't use it in years, so I was worried. Perhaps you wouldn't think it's a "dev" experience, but English is actually a required skill for a developer who has it as a second language.

Seriously, how the fuck is it possible for someone to be a senior engineer after only 1.5 years in the industry?

I have been working for 5 years and I don't dare to say it because I have seen real seniors with 15+ years of work experience and how they work. A completely different level. Hell, I refuse opportunities that announce they want senior engineers for that reason.

Came across a job posting for a lead developer yesterday. One of the requirements:

"Minimum experience:
dotNET 6 (3-4 yrs)"

Yeah and that technology came out less than 2 years ago

Is this position for a time traveler or siamese twins?

Sometimes, I feel like these recruiters are just typing keywords, and spam people who fit.

I did one NodeJS project and I keep getting invited for an interview even though I have less than 3 months' worth of knowledge while the job description states 5 or more years of experience.

Did a lot of IT coordination and managing web sites as a Webmaster the last 3 years.
Now every other company wants me to know every damn framework and multiple years of experience in each... Well I know fuckin' HTML 5 and CSS3 and some JavaScript and can create most web sites easily.

Feeling like 13 yo kids with some Angular 2 skills take all my jobs. Thank you, NOT!

Banks. Fuck 'em. Worst pay of any industry

Wanted : 6± years native Android experience, senior developer
Pay: $45-48 / hour

I made $50/hour on 2013 and my rates have gone up linearly since.

This earns a big ass WTF from me for BBVA Compass bank

< 1 year of professional software experience - company: there's too many of you, come back when you have 3 years experience

3 years experience - company: those entry levels have now gotten 3 years experience just like you and now there's too many of you, come back with 7 years experience

7 years - company: too many of you, come back with 20 years

20 years - you: create sentient AI and order it to destroy the company. AI: sorry, I'm looking for an owner with 100 years experience, sorry.

Fuck.

I have 4 years of front end development experience and I wrote <image> tag instead of using <img> today

Another rant reminded me of one of my dad’s favorite sayings about experience...

Some people have ten years of experience. Others have one year of experience repeated ten times.

..and for ohers, the recursion interval is shorter still...

As a bonus, here’s another personal favorite: “Nobody’s completely useless. They can always be used as a bad example.”

Family reaction to me being a dev (and offering to replace their home/personal IT guy with google drive and a mesh wifi network):

We're going to hire an IT guy because they have more experience doing this kind of thing. BITCH, I'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR 15 YEARS!!!

From a job posting I recently viewed:

"About you: We don't care about years of experience or knowledge of particular technologies, if you have a computer science degree; or a degree at all for that matter."

further down in the same posting...:

"Qualifications:
-MS/BS in Computer Science or related background
-2-3 years of front-end development experience with HTML, CSS, and JavaScript and related JavaScript frameworks such as Backbone, React, or similar technologies"

........

For you mobile devs out there, what is your salary at? And how many years of experience?

"you don't seem like you have X years of experience under your belt"

oof

i dont disagree but i wish words could kill so i didn't have to survive that, i suppose i should accept being mediocore

Job descriptions be like-
looking for an engineer between the age of 21-26 having 30 years of experience. 😂😂😂

Just looked at a fellow devs code (has 4 years experience). His test rig has the same 5 lines of code, copy pasted in the same file ... 400+ times.

What is the appropriate action to take?

I have 6 years of programming experience, so I'm the go-to guy at my college when someone's Python code doesn't work. The amount of unfathomably obvious problems I've fixed for people makes me wonder if some of my classmates are incapable of reading.

So yeah, it's cool, I only built a process based on years of experience. Just go ahead and completely ignore it. A failure to plan on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine.

Hi, I'm a 17 years old web developer (still in school, not from the us), is there any way that a guy like me will be able to find a job to start gain experience? I searched all over the internet, in upwork no one answer me when I try to contact them and the other all wants 1 or 2 years of experience or a degree...

We just got a new web dev with 10+ years experience with the goal of helping out our rather inexperienced small team.

His first PR was for a rather large form with 30+ fields.

He. used. a. <table/>......To layout the entire thing! With inline floats no less!

How the f do you spend the last 10 years not bothering to pickup any modern css?

- UI Developer Interview
- 5+ years of revelant experience.
- Says pretty good at CSS
- Have not heard of box model.

FUCK INTERVIEWS. FUCK EXPERIENCE. FUCK EVERYTHING.

As it may be known, when it comes to job applications, experience is overrated. The simple reason is that years of experience doesn't mean expertise. You can be doing something the wrong way for 15 years, that doesn't make you a suitable candidate.

HR.. meh.

Recruiters be like
We are looking for a fresh graduate with 1000 projects and 10 years of experience

I always read the full job description whenever there's a job hiring.

I have a keen eye in some job description that this company is a red flag.

"Must have 4 years of experience in Blazor or other related web development"

"Be a multitasker"
"Must have experience in frontend web development using Figma or other prototyping tools"

I don't understand some job ads. The companies want developers with 3+ years of experience in everything for entry level positions.

Aren't there any entry level positions for entry level developers with less experience?

If this is the norm, how do junior devs get the experience they need to be qualified for these "entry level" positions?

Me as a fresher searching for internship opportunities....

Requirements be like,
2 years of minimum experience

I am like is it a fresher's role or a manager's role?

Self rant!
I'm 27, starting my goddamn first year of computer science in the University.
By the time I'll be done I'm going to be obsolete...
Let me know how good/bad my situation is...
How old are you guys? How many years of experience have you got?

I'm so done with indeed and jobstreet. I couldn't find an office job that I passionately love. Most are looking for PHP devs, ASP.NET devs, Java devs or effing fresh graduates with 5 years of experience. I guess it's time for me to learn freelancing.

Guys, a company's HR mailed me for a position that requires strong experience of ">3 years in Python with C or C++".

Does it mean Python and C/C++?
Or do they need someone who is using C/C++ to write Python?

I have some experience with adding Python support to C++ code. Does it count? 😁

My worst legacy code experience:

>10k lines of switch case statement with "some" fall through.
Even fall through for 4 or 5 cases.

This monster was copy pasted and modified over years (Order of the case statements and another fall throughs).

So you can't diff this piece of shit for refactorings.

Luckily I leave that company.

I’m one of maybe the 10% of dev boot camp graduates that had a successful outcome. Most people think it’s as easy as just showing up, write mediocre code, get a certificate then you’re automatically an “engineer” with job offers being thrown at you. It’s not. I already had experience writing code throughout high school and took 2 years of cs classes at university before dropping out. TLDR; only worth it if you already have some technical knowledge or experience otherwise your just pissing away your money.

Working on individual projects is a million times more fun than interview prep / doing Leetcode problems.

I wish companies looked at my few years of experience and personal projects rather than testing my knowledge by asking me some random "Hard level" Leetcode question.

If you're a "software engineer" with 10+ years of experience, but you've never written a unit test.... you're just a script kiddie with no right to call yourself a "software engineer".

"So what we're going to do is sign you up for this basic training we think you need despite your years of proven experience and certifications and a four year degree directly related to the type of training don't count"

That #facepalm moment when the person you are interviewing has 2 years of experience, rates himself 8/10 in JAVA and doesn't know the difference between abstract class and interface!

My project manager, after 11 years of experience.
"What is the svn function replace?"
He used svn for more than 4 years at the very least.

Recruiter answered me

Rejected

They decided to choose another candidate because... [the reason will be announced at the end of this rant]

...

I was working on my project

I am learning new tech

And shitting 10 times a day from these jobs and recruiters, the usual me

HE the recruiter contacted me a few days ago

HE offered me nodejs position

I AM the one who was HONEST and told him i dont work in nodejs i work in java

HE then continued the conversation

HE offered me a java spring boot backend position

I AM the one who read the requirements

🔥🔥🔥
REQUIREMENTS: 3+ years of experience
🔥🔥🔥

I AM the one who told him i have 5+ years of java spring boot and 8+ years of java experience.

HE said great I'll contact the clients and let them know

TWO WEEKS LATER OF SILENCE

"unfortunately they chose some other candidate because they need someone with 10+ years of experience for this role"

---

Are you fuc

Fucking

Ki

Wasting my Fucking time?

You decide to slam into my peace and offer me a job position with ALL THE REQUIREMENTS I FULFILL, JUST TO RANDOMLY REJECT ME FOR AN INVALID FUCKING REASON?

If i said i had 10 years of experience

They would reject me because i dont have 15+

If i had 15+ years of experience i would get rejected for not having 30+

If i had 30+ years of experience fucking your whole family and bombing them to dust like in palestine till their bones die and worms eat your fucking down syndrome brains, they would say i need 160+ year of experience

Fyck you

Truly.
From the bottom

Of my fucking balls and cum

From my fucking dick

From my fucking shit and asshole

From my vomit

I wish you death.

I wish karma to kill all of their family members (the clients who rejected me) slowly one by one. Final destination accidents type of deaths. Truly i hope you and wish you the worst.

[Here the intro continues]

I will repeat again:
- REQUIREMENTS: 3+ years

I have:
- 8+ years

They rejected me because:
- I don't have 10+ years

I told all of this to recruiter now. Politely but because im losing my patience i was very very passive aggressive with my response. In the context of

1. I TRULY dont give a fuck for your rejection (which is the truth)

2. Your clients are low IQ dumb as fucking retards because they choose people based on the YEARS OF EXPERIENCE

3. Explained him: IF YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID TO UNDERSTAND THIS COMMON SENSE, I'LL EXPLAIN IT TO YOU: CHOOSING DEVS SOLELY BASED ON THE YEARS OF EXPERIENCE MEANS YOU ARE FUCKING STUPUD. There are devs with 2 years of experience who are WAY smarter better efficient and more knowledgeable than some devs with 5-7 OR MORE years of experience. Thats because some people progress better faster or more efficiently in 2 years while others need 5 years. Etc. You're fucking stupid as shit for this sole decision

4. Indirectly let him know that i am not pissed off for rejection. I am pissed off for my time being FUCKING WASTED.

5. Also pointed him out: your job description says its looking for a dev with 3+ years of experience i told you i have 8+ and you reject me because I don't have 10+. Are you Fucking stupid? Fuck you. Truly fuck off. Get the fuck off my dick and eat the shits i shit straight out of my asshole. I'll shit in your fucking mouth you fucking bitch. Your wife also probably fucks some other guys while you're at work and she doesnt respect you or love you. In the matter of fact give me your fucking wife/gf and I'll Fucking fuck her to death

To the clients once again: Truly i hope Hamas fires a missile at israel but misses and hits your fucking home and your whole fucking family blows up to atoms and particles. Completely erased from existence.

Experience doesnt equate number of years you worked. It acummulate through each problem/challenge we solve everyday. What your view, please share.

Applying for jobs with no experience:
"Ha! So you think you deserve a job? Get out of here! The nerve on you"
Applying for jobs with 2 < years of experience: "Pleeeease come work for us? :3"

How can you explain to a senior dev, with more than 15 years of experience, that for money calculation (like VAT) you can't use the fucking floating types?!?!?!?!?

I spent the whole day on git conflicts, I know it happens sometimes. But I do feel like a slow programmer, the boss even said so by comparing me to someone who has 15 years experience by saying I produce less lines of code than than him ( I have 5 years of experience).

So everyday, I have this nagging thoughts; "you are too slow, you can't even program, what are you doing, do something else this isn't for you etc" .

And then when I solve the problem "You are the best, you know everything etc"

A constant battle between self-destructive and positive thoughts.

So I'm looking at the jobs available and the jobs I'm applying for and realizing that even though I'm never gonna use the 70+ languages (exaggeration) in daily work for any of these prospective employers, I'd better have those languages (and 5+ years of experience in each) just because HR is keyword happy about stuff they know nothing about.

So how do you manage to get 5+ years of experience in something you don't have 5+ years of experience in so that you can get a job where you don't actually need 5+ years of experience in those things anyway? Do I just hit up LinkedIn Learning and start grinding away on tutorials, then stick their "certifications" on my resume? For what purpose if it's stuff I can't get the needed experience in because I don't already have 5+ years of it?

How did I ever get a job in my field if, according to HR drones, I don't have any experience in what I'm doing now?

Question about work experience.

Here in Switzerland you have 4 years of apprenticeship. (School + work, 50/50)
After that most uf us go to a higher degree (BSc oder MSc). Both can be taken part-time. Again about 50/50 school + work.

Now: Do you count thoses years as 8 or 4 or 0 work experience?

Me and a friend starting to program a game in Unity, he's worried and I think we will ace it! How f***ed are we? (5 years of website development experience each)

Best: gaining experience and learning new ways to write programs in the best way possible, even beyond working hours

Worst: the amount of ABAP code I saw these past two years gives me nightmares, and older programmers don't seem to want to improve and advance from the old ways of the language 😥

Hi guys, I'm planing to move to the Netherlands(Amsterdam) by the middle/end of this year and I would like to ask for advices, recomendadtions or any info is welcome.

I'm 23 years old living in Spain since 12. Frontend Developer with 2 years experience in Angular, Node.

Also would like to know the salaries range for frontend Developer if someone knows anything.

Thanks a lot

Just saw a job ad asking 8+ years of Swift experience.

Swift is a language that appeared 4 years ago >:-(

today i learned that adding to innerhtml using a loop is so much slower than adding to a variable and writing it once.

sometimes i wonder if i were happier as a professional programmer. and then i experience this which means my family would be living under a bridge in no time.

"You need five years of Java experience, with at least two years being Java 10, but if not at least seven years of C++17"

So you want a junior developer who has at least 3-5 years of experience? Am I the only one who can't figure out why a developer would still be at a junior level after 5 years?

48 boolean variables.
For real?

It's clear why the class name is "GameHardActivity", this certainly is hard to maintain, understand, edit, and believe.

I can understand people learning, but with 2 years of experience in programming??? And there's a matrix right in the middle!!!! USE ARRAYS, PLEASE!!!!

Recruiter nowadays:

Despite claiming to want fresher, what they need is fresher with 2-3 years of experience, as if they were looking for a virgin with sexual experience

Looking at new jobs in my area. This company is looking for an entry level full stack developer with “eights” years of experience. And preferred to have a masters degree. Probably only paying half the normal rate I bet too.

That moment when you get your first job after getting your degree and one of your co-workers with about 5 years of experience asks you what is a static class because he never used one...

I mean come on... You have 5 years of xp and never used a static before? x)

This project is going places...

As my contractor job ends and my beginning the process of looking for new work the sudden feeling of imposter syndrome starts washing over me.
"I'm not qualified for any of these positions...", I say to myself, but then I think to myself, I wonder how devRanters deal with this.

So let me ask you, devRant, how have you dealt the *Experience Required* section of most jobs when job hunting?

I am curious if this companies hiring requirement would be a red flag for you. They want at least one year of Typescript experience. Fine. They would not consider a person with 5 years of Javascript and zero Typescript experience.

I’ve had it with people and their lies on experience in the tech world, some guy/girl said to me that he/she had “8 years of experience” but still had problems on something they said they’ve “mastered”

I'm interviewing for a full stack developer position next week. Although I've over 10 years of experience and working as one right now (although in a shitty company), I'm fucking nervous!

Hi all,
I want to get advice about a VPN Service,

Currently NordVPN giving away 75% discount for 3 years subscription which costs $107.55,

Any of you have experience with their service?

Need reviews or opinions

I don't understand the hate for recruiters.

If the client has any idea what they want it's straight forward. If they don't recuiters are stuck asking for 20 years of Swift experience.

Hmm, I've gotten my last 3 jobs via recuiters.

I suffer from major imposter syndrome, despite having years of experience, domain knowledge, and a MS in CS. Help.

After years of experience in the industry, I find that I have 1000% more skills and 2000% more knowledge.

I have come to the realization that I need to do 500% less things and demonstrate 1000% less knowledge.

2022, Lex Lexter, a collection of wisdom

How the hell am I meant to get a new job in Edinburgh/Glasgow so I can learn React/Angular/Vue when no-one will hire someone without experience in those frameworks?!

I was in 2 roles back to back and in that time, every single Front End Development role now available in the market requires commercial experience in React/Angular/Vue in order to proceed.

Even the 18k Grad/Junior Development roles require commercial experience in some sort of JS Framework yet I'm certainly not a Grad/Junior.

HOW DOES ANYONE USE IT COMMERCIALLY IF THEY'VE GOT NO EXPERIENCE.

I'm doomed.

For the record, I'm a Front End Developer with 3 Years of experience with personal study experience in React.

I recently made 2 years of experience but don’t know if I should still apply for an entry level position. I still feel uneasy with my skills, but don’t love where I’m working. What would you guys do if you were in my shoe?

.Dispose();
.Close();
.Dispose();

what an idiot! and his profile said he had 4 years of experience...

oh, yes, and that thing of not using arrays...
I have even more code from this guy, but one picture is enough

talent acquisition horrors. 57 years of experience WTH

Where the fuck in my profile does it say that I have 10-12 years of Java server side experience?

If she actually looked at my LinkedIn, it says I graduates in 2011...

Pet peeve #3984 - when managers / salespeople anyone else pretends it's just appropriate to "add up" years of experience.

"I'm sure we can solve this, the team have over 100 years of coding experience between them"

...yeah, that's not how experience works, doofus. Unless you'd really trust 20 people with 6 month's experience over a single person with 10 year's experience.

I picked what I’m good at so solving puzzles after that it’s simple.

10 years experience rule or 10’000 hours of writing code.