Boss: I need you to start on this new project, how long will it take?

Me: well, hard to say with no specs whatsoever...

Boss: just your best guess

Me: 4 to 6 month I guess?

Boss: so 3 months it is. When can you start?

Me: no specs, sir...and I said 4 to 6

Boss: the specs are almost ready, I know you can simplify it

Me: ...

Boss: just start with the basic infrastructure already

(4 months later)

Boss: here you are the specs, they might change a little in behaviour and design, but all the main stuff is here

(Hands me a A3 with a total of 21 pictures in InDesign)

Me: o....Kay. what happens when I click here?

Boss: oh, we should still talk about the app workflow, I'll get you updated

(2 weeks and 16 total rewrites of the "specs" later)

Boss: you told me it was a 2 months job, why aren't you finished yet? We must deploy in 3 weeks!

Me: ...

If it wasn't for coding I wouldn't have met my boyfriend. 😊

We started working at the same place and position with 2 weeks apart, and quite quickly we turned into best coding buddies which eventually turned into more!

2,5 yrs later we no longer work together in the same company, but we do live together and code together on side projects at home ☺️

Providing work estimation:

Dev: This should take about 2 weeks

Non dev: Really? But it's so simple. Shouldn't be that long right? I think it can be done in one week.

*After one week*

Non dev: Why is it still not done? I thought you only need one week?

Manager: I just think you are being too negative. Like sometimes other people have opinions too and we should hear them out before saying no.

Me: Well your opinion is the devs shouldn't be able to estimate their own tasks and you should decide on our behalf how long something should take.

You also want to decide what tech stack we use, because you followed a "Hello World" tutorial last night and it worked out for you.

Just because you got a simple webpage up and running in 2 hours doesn't mean all websites take 2 hours with the tech. Were not sitting in the corner laughing that you think its taking us 3 weeks to build this.

I'm not being negative simply because I don't agree with you. I'm not being unreasonable if I say I can do 6 weeks work in 2 weeks. And although it sounds offensive, i'm actually doing you a favour by telling you to get your head out of your ass

When you've got 4 personal projects to finish, 2 computers to build, 1 full-time job to wrap up, an online course to complete, Uni starts in two weeks and your family decided it's the perfect time to go on vacation.

It's 2:30 am and this is my life.

Boss: hey mech eng, we need a setup modification

Mech: no prob, boss, we can have it prototyped in 3 weeks, industrialized in 2 months

Boss: oh, right then, go on

---

Boss: hey, Soft Eng, we need a functional modification

Soft Eng: no prob boss, we can develop it in 4 hours, tested and documented in 2 hours and integrated and shipped to the client by tomorrow morning

Boss: what??? One day?? You just need to edit a couple of lines of code! I want it ready in ten minutes top!

Me: Boss, your new project is ready, we've tested the technical aspect but we're waiting on your approval before deploying, will you test it?
Boss: yeah sure, I'll test it in 5

*2 weeks later*

Boss: why isn't that project deployed yet?
Me: you haven't tested it, and we haven't gotten approval
Boss: oh right, I'll go test it right now!

*2 weeks later*

Boss: I NEED that project to go live RIGHT THIS MOMENT!!!
Me: sure, have you tested it yet?
Boss: nope, but I need it
Me: well, I'll put it live, but me and my colleagues are shifting responsibility to you, since you haven't tested it. Are you sure?
Boss: yeah, yeah whatever...

*put product online*

*2 days later*

Angry call from boss, bugs have been found, tell him that he approved the state of the product and that the bugs will go on the to-do list...

Boss is extremely pissed, but recognized his mistake...

Now, the boss actually tests everything thoroughly at the moment we tell him to! No more bugs, complaints, and I got a raise!

I'm supposed to take a work-related online course which you pay for monthly. My boss asked me to start it now, but I'm going on vacation in 2 weeks, so I told him it's a pity to pay for a month when I'm only available for 2 weeks.
He was like, but can't you continue the course-work on your vacation?

fellow from the team was asked to do the estimate by manager - he said 2 weeks

then manager asked what if we add one more developer - he said, again 2 weeks and maybe add day or two

I was asked same question without knowing that they already asked fellow from the team same question - I said around two weeks, maybe day or two more! XD

as manager was confused and not satisfied with the estimates, goes to our team leader with the same questions - team leader said - 2 and half weeks and if you add one more dev to it, 3 weeks minimum

we didn't know that all of us were asked as manager did that behind our backs, in the end manager learned lesson in greed as we got to stick to team leaders estimate!

also that was very rude of underestimating someone's ability, same manager did had personal bias and frequently mocked us, for example when we said that that we will implement ML for cropping images at the right place (ie. crop part of the image where the face is) on the backend. Response was something like: 'You guys will do the ML? Are you shitting me? You're not /insert FANG company/!'

best team win ever!

second best team win ever is when whole team left the company in matter of weeks

So I just had an interview a couple weeks ago at one of the largest employers of software engineers in the country. After multiple stages of group interviews it came to the 2 on 1 individual interview with some project leads (picture devs using a MacBook with Github stickers - lads). Among the questions they asked me we both had a laugh at 2 of them:

Q: Explain how deadlocks work?
A: Hire me and I will explain how they work.

Q: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
A: Celebrating 22s 22m 22h 22/12/2022.

Strangely enough they hired me 😎

Everyone has these projects sooner or later;

PM: 'You have 2 weeks to finish. It HAS to be done by then because they will start using it ASAP!!'
Me: Working day and night to meet the deadline.

After 2 years PM comes by;

PM: remember that program? They're testing it now. They plan to use it in production.

Rghuu*~ (that's me dying a little on the inside)

1. Buy a connected armwrist that tells you the time, how good your sleep is, your heartbeat and stuff like that
2. Manage to loose the cable that charges the device
3. Get mad
4. Finally decide to buy a new one after digging in your 50 m^2 flat in vain
5. Your stuff is coming in 12 years, I mean days. Have a lot of advertisement of this particular cable wherever you go for the next two weeks
6. The thing finally gets delivered. Let's not be stupid like before and put it in a logical place, like permanently plugged in the usb port above my computer tower.
7. Find the supposed lost cable at said place.

After 2 weeks in vacation, first day back on my job, I spend 2 hours trying to remember my Ubuntu password.

Relaxation is not good!

Client: I need this very complex feature

Dev : Ok, give me approx 2 weeks, this is new to me, have to do r&d.

Client: I can't give you 2 weeks, you have 2 days.

Dev: Somehow manages to complete in 2 days.

After few weeks.

Client's representative : What's the progress on the new features?

Dev: You haven't mentioned any new features yet.

Client's representative: I don't care, it's been weeks now, here are more complex features, I need them tomorrow.

😕

When your boss says "good job, you have developed something big in such a small time" (~2 weeks) but you haven't showed him the bugs and shit (gonna fix it btw)

Ok I have 2 more hours to work today. I bet I will get these 3 important things done.

*important email comes in*
*laptop runs out of batery*
*client finally calls back after 4 weeks*
*data structure has to be reorganized urgently due to new requirements*

After dealing with all of that, I close all windows in order to go home. The last window is the thing I wanted to do in the first place.

My coworker just put in his 2 weeks' notice. We're already down a person. I have a wedding to plan and have in ~1 month.

I'm a wreck. Im sitting in my office crying right now while on a call for a dumb reason

Boss: we picked up a new client!
Me: nice!
Boss: They want the unfinished software we were working on that we planned to be done 2 months from now.
Me: even better!
Boss: They want it in 3 weeks.
Me:
Me:
Me: no.

If found a Website with a nice Guestbook. Funny thing: HTML-Code and JavaScript-Code in the message was not getting escaped. So I wrote a little JS-Script wich alerts “Nope“ and the then redirects to pornhub.com after page load.

After about 2 WEEKS of funny redirecting, they updated their site and HTML-Code is now getting escaped.

Infinite loop...

Got a story assigned with no requirements listed this sprint. Since I finished the rest already I was like, lets be pro-active and see what it's about during the stand-up.

Me: Hi, I only have story X remaining, what's it about, there are no requirements listed in Jira?
SM: Yeah person Y is going to reach out to you with the reqs.
Me: Ok, when is Y going to reach out?
SM: Y doesn't have time now, will probably be in 2 weeks.
Me: Ok, so why is the story included in this sprint then?
SM: Because they want X implemented this sprint.
(Me wondering if the Scrum Master is familiar with infinite loops, thinking let's try this out)
Me: Ok, if X should be completed, can Y reach out to me with the requirements?
SM: Y doesn't have time now, will probably be in 2 weeks.
Me: Ok, why is the story included in this sprint then?

Stand-up lasted a lil' longer today... Hope the SM got the message not to assign stories without reqs or clear communication anymore.

Boss and project manager calls me into a launch meeting for a new project. A stock management system for a small furniture company that will work over 11 stores, 4 warehouses and multiple suppliers which will also work as an ordering system. We went over the spec(112 pages) and I told him that it will be an on going project over a year with an initial dev time of 4-6 months. He just said that he's sold it to them to be delivered for testing in 2 weeks and completed in 4 weeks(they signed the contract) and that I'd best get started. I just closed my laptop and walked out.

"Hi xxx, please stop asking me the same question. I've answered it 4 times already via email, slack and in person on our zoom calls, over the past 2 weeks. I do not own the ticket and have no idea of the status or the dates. Ask the owner."

- slack response I was forced to write this morning to the guy my company put in charge of the entire product (mobile, multiple backends, frontend etc.).

Somebody asked me my API doc.
I don't have any API at all.

I will lie, and I'll write a swagger specification in few hours and I'll send them.

They will try to read it and understand, and after maybe a week, when they will ask for testing and endpoint I'll pretend to be on holiday for 2 weeks.

3-4 weeks gone already, I checked they should be on holiday by then. Only then, I'll answer with a fake endpoint with fake data.

I'll get another 2 weeks if I'm lucky.
When they discover about fake data, I'll say there is a bug.

In total if I play well, I have 2/2.5 months to implement some kind of API server with some more or less true implementation.

Thanks to Swagger. Swag

Today I was asked to decide on a handheld or "madonna" microphone for a conference I have to speak at in 2 weeks. Its time to come clean, I never thought the day would actually come, i'm far too terrified to actually go through with it. I just wanna write code in my dark little corner and be left alone. I wonder can I get out of this or is it too late

Ok so the good news is. My vacation is in 2 weeks. And also just got Hired, and handed a big project with big money

The bad news is They need to refactor and document their legacy code from last dev partner. And this is the commit history

OH MY FUCKING GOD KILL ME NOW!

We want a web site.

We're going to want lots of interactive content, which we'll define later.

You need to develop the whole thing in 2 weeks.

We'll give you all the details after you tell us exactly how much it will cost.

At Uni, I went from being the only programmer, to the programmer, designer, scene builder, main script writer, minigame designer, project manager, music composer, UI designer and fucking everything else.

We had a team of 4 people. The artist was great and dedicated, the production person was motivated, but lacked any technical skills and my useless fuckwit of a friend wrote literally 3, 2 note midi sound effects in 6 fucking weeks.

Thank fucking god the coordinator and a mate of mine who we got to do the animations, saw the amount I had carried and both led me to getting 2 jobs in the industry right after graduating.

"We are expecting you to start working asap..and complete the frontend (of a webapp that's​ expected to take 2 months to develop) in 2 weeks "

" So do I expect to get paid X amount for this ?"

" Let's make that X/2"

Fuck off you dipshits.. You expect quality work and fast work ..then get ready to pay at least by market standards.

Woke up today to 4 commits from a peer that completely erased most of the work done in the last 2 weeks. After letting my coworker know that their commits were the issue, she insisted that they were not theirs, however they showed her signature.

Love how Git absolutely destroys liers.

Current state of devRant for the past ~2 weeks in regards to GDPR and GitHub.

Project manager: We have 13weeks for this project. We have promised the client.

Me: okay, why wasnt I consulted on that commitment?

Project Manager: yeah.... we have to do it

Me: okay, if we have 2 dedicated backend and one full time frontend - ONLY on this project.

Project manager: (with the face of lies) yes yes sure we can do that.

6 weeks later, after continuous interruptions. Frontend is behind because he was only on the project to an amount of 2 weeks of the 6 weeks.

Project manager: Are we still on time?

Me: *looks around for prank cameras* no the f#*k we not

Project manager: can we put in weekends?

Me: its 2019 bro, that ain't happening

*But because I am a nice guy, and dont like taking Ls, we will have it ready. Just not gonna tell the project manager, he deserves a few sleepless nights *

There was once this customer, which wanted a project done. It was for around 2/3 weeks of work. The arranged cost was 500€, but when I said how long I'll need, he said:
No. I need it done in 5 days. Every day over, I deduct 50€ from the payment.
I was out of the building in less than a minute.
Fuck this type of customers.

Well let's do this group rant thing.

I had to build 5 responsive Web applications in 3 weeks. Again Web applications, not websites. I slept a total of 2 hours per night in my car, and would go home every 3 days to shower.

I quit soon after.

Story #1: So I took a month of parental leave. And was planning to extend it a little longer to deal with my final exams. I was planning to spend lots of quality time with my wife and newborn son. Little did I know... It turns out that out of 5 OoO weeks I was looking forward I actually had 3 at most. The rest I've spent working remotely as I was insisted to deploy a brand new and poorly tested feature to PROD 2 days before my paternity leave. So I spent 2 weeks debugging things in PROD. Remotely. Needless to say that did suck.

Story #2: After story #1 I've learnt my lesson. This summer I took 3 weeks annual leave to renovate my apartment. I asked to not to be disturbed unless there's an emergency. And an emergency it was. One of our app users had a planned hi-load batch job lasting for 2-3 months. Hundreds of thousands of items had to be created and processed. It turns out the _processing_ algo had some flaws and was acting out. I was called out and asked to assist. I knew this sort of debugging is going to take a lot of my time so this time I put my conditions on the table: I will assist but I'll extend my leave by 1.5 the time I spend working now. They took the deal. Instead of 3 weeks I had 5 weeks of vacation!

I don't care that much about my salary. I prefer to exchange it for my time off hence I didn't ask for compensations.

Bottom line: NEVER EVER underestimate or undersell your time and effort. You are a valuable asset and if the team/client needs you on your day off -- make it count. Your time off is YOUR time. Never forget it.

When I'm hearing the CEO promising new impossible features in the next 2 weeks.

An old conversation with a former Team Lead (TL)

TL: The client has requested for a feature. Can you provide an effort estimation.

(gives estimation with task breakdown)

TL: 2 weeks? They wants it in 3 days!

Me:

When the doctor says "take this and comeback in 2 weeks" he is literally debugging his solution in your body.

I'm a bit freaked out.

Holy fucking shit!
Look, I know I'm kinda average, I actually think I'm kinda stupid... But holy fuck this new mother fucker at work is in a fucking new level of dumb ... OMG!

I'm actually thinking about asking my boss to let him go and this guy isn't even there for 2 weeks yet.

Overheard my boss speaking at the pantry.
He tells the sales to promote to potential buyers that our product will only take 2 days to setup but actually the dev team has been alloted 2 weeks.

How the in fuck could we deliver 2 weeks worth of effort in 2 days!? WTF boss. Fuck you, and your double chin. I am tired of your shit.

Currently in the middle of quarterly planning (its been fun so far). Needs to be signed off by business today.

- My team has ~25 man weeks available in terms of capacity.
- Looking at only priority 0 tasks, last night we calculated the ask from product stands at 64.
- Including P1's, P2's etc. its well over 100 man weeks.
- Email was sent around from business with a list of tasks, asking which can be dropped, de-scoped etc.

Product (non technical) response this morning:
- This one can't take 2 weeks, its not that complicated.
- This one needs to stay, It was originally a Q1 task.
- Can we make this one smaller? (currently only a 3 week task)
- 14 comments on other teams items.

<extreme-sarcasm>
... ah perfect, that cut down the items by less than half. We are now ready for the deadline in 4 hours to have all this signed off on. Great job everyone. Thanks for all the insightful discussions. Go team!
</extreme-sarcasm>

I am on holidays and because of devRant I found out about gitLab...
I am sweating and in panic but no one from work called me yet.
Then I realised, this is my first vacation without laptop and work phone in years.

I think I will get back to work 10 days from now and it will like: "Hey!! Can you sit and fix this? We've been waiting for 2 weeks"...

FUUUUUUU!!

Last year we were given an app to patch that was completely in Arabic (including the documentation). We had a tight deadline to get the app fixed so we paid for a big company to translate the Word document we'd be given.

After 2 weeks we were given the translated documentation only to find it was select recipes from an Egyptian cooking book.

The freelancer...
We are looking for someone to design a logo with no less than 2 years Javascript, 10 years Intel IO low level engineering in assembly, 2 months pascal, 14 weeks of HTML5, 17.23567 years of ASCII C, and you must have a half pint of strawberry ice cream in your freezer. $20.00 firm.

I worked as a sysadmin. I was taking over a position from another, who’d stop 2 weeks after I started, so he introduced me to everything in those days.

In the company we were 2 people (3 the first 2 weeks) managing servers. When rebooting windows servers and windows asked for a reason for rebooting, he told me that he always wrote -.- while the other guy wrote .-. so they could recognize who rebooted the server

6 months ago I had to implement a new feature and realized that a related uploading feature was broken if you choose a specific service to upload to.

I was wondering why nobody had reported this, so I took a look at the usage of said feature and it seems literally no client ever used it since it was released almost 2 years ago.

Only the product owner used it in the beginning... only for testing it...

2 weeks well spend.

I've been working tirelessly on a personal project recently. Decided to take a look at how far I've come in the past 2 weeks, only to realize I've been refactoring and abstracting my code so much that the program actually does _less_ than it did before.

Senior dev says "it is a piece of cake and it can be done in 2 days", when a new feature is suggested and assigned to me.. but when it gets assigned to him : "This is a big feature and there are lot of things that we need to decide, it will take more than 3 weeks".

Who else does this?

>Work on a website for weeks without taking a break.
>Really enjoy the outcome, take a deserved 2 days off.
>Come back to your code, suddenly you don't know where to start, you feel disgusted by your code and you totally change your idea on how your website should look in the first place.
>Delete it, start from scratch.

*During last week's meeting*
Me: That update should be out in 2 weeks.
Client: Okay
*2 days later*
Client: So where's that update?

I worked on a web project a few years ago. I've refactored a large part of the architecture, added repositories to the business layer, implemented inversion of control and dependency injection etc. (took me 2 weeks).

There was a second developer in the project... he didn't understand the design patterns and the whole IoC/DI thing. Instead of asking or reading about it, he reverted all the changes while I was 3 weeks on vacation -.-

So, went to 3 hackathons in the last 3 weeks. Won 2/3. Developed on Ethereum and some Iota for the most part. Loved this experience and many more to go. Idk what to say honestly, just blabbering :p

After 2 years of being forced into writing PHP 5.5, we've finally convinced upper management to let us switch to C# instead. It's coming in a few weeks. Words cannot describe how much I hate this god awful language.... C#, save me my sweet, sweet, strictly typed goodness.

I have an interview with one of the big 4 in 2 weeks.

The post is for a java dev, they contacted me even though I'm a PHP dev.

I know the interview questions will be in java... What do I do??? :-(

I worked with java for the last time 2 years ago...

2 weeks ago: I received a call from a recruiter. After the interview, she said I was the right profile for the oportunity...

Last week: I went on the interview with the manager... In the end he also said that it was very good and I would receive a call in the next week to start the paperwork...

Today: I receive an e-mail saying that they decided to focus in a different path with the job, but will keep my data for future opportunities...

Really?!

Inb4 2 question ahead

1. So in another 2 weeks I’ll be getting a new storage to upgrade my laptop, and since I will be developing C# both MVC and ASP.net should I stick to windows or there is a linux distro I could try using. Probably will dual booth if I have to use windows, so friendly linux is nice

2. For the storage I’ll be getting 860 EVO 250gb, any feedback? Also 4gb ram for the upgrade

Gave in 2 months notice to my office. Situation in nutshell:

me: Im leaving in 8 weeks guys.
manager: ok
me: hey landlord im leaving in 8 weeks
landlord:ok
manager: can u leave in 4 weeks?
me: ok I can leave in 4 weeks.
landlord: ok
manager: hey we are not sure maybe we can keep u for 8 weeks. we will let you know.
me: DECIDE FOR FUCKS SAKE, MY DEPOSIT IS ON THE LINE AND I AM UNABLE TO PLAN ANYTHING SADDSAKO;;LSADKLDSK;ADSFDSFSDFDSFSFSDFDSFDSDFSFDSFDSFDSADASKLDSAKDSS

@linuxxx went from 50k to 70k ++ in few weeks. Amd here am I with 390 after one year on devRant with my rants getting <10 ++ and 0-2 comments.

So I'm trying my hand at home brewing beer. I started my first batch 2 weeks ago, and finally bottled it last night. It should be ready in another 2 weeks! I can't wait to try it; it smells delicious 🍺

This month is going pretty well so far..

New job: ☑️
Get out of FinTech: ☑️
New place: ☑️
Get rid of car #1: ☑️
Get rid of car #2: ☑️
Pay a shit lot of taxes: ☑️
Still have some money to on the side: ☑️
Book flight&car: ⬜️
Register in new country: ⬜️

And still 2 weeks to go.
Holidays are coming though..

I actually did a sticky label agile board for this 😄

Estimating the task. A total of... 2 months.

Other guy: I think we should squeeze it to 1 month.
Others: I think we should squeeze it in 2 weeks to meet the deadline..

Deadline: 2 weeks
Progress:25%

When your boss resigns, so you have to learn everything he knows in 2 weeks... 😰

Management : We need to deliver this by September!!!

Meanwhile every dev took 2-3 weeks of vacation in August.

My friend called me today.
Him : Dude,can you write an app for both android/ios for my uni's orientation night. The app -
1) will only be activated only in the school compound.
2) display all the images with certain hashtag from Instagram.
3) voting option for selecting king/queen of the night.
Oh and the event is in next two weeks. You can just modify the Facebook and the instagram app right?

Speechless....

So...Worked my butt off to have a website developed by a certain date client and I agreed on. Finished the site 3 weeks ago and sent dev link. Client has been completely silent; unreachable by email (I sent 5 in past 3 weeks) and phone (left 2 voicemails and a message with his receptionist today). In ALL five emails I told him I needed the email addresses he wants used to route his sales leads to...Got nada.

So today I seen that the lead forms have been tested on the website. Dude can't get back to me for 3 effing weeks, BUT can test his lead forms.. You know, without the lead email addresses that i asked for 5x. Ugh, idiot!!!

My friend developed an app called "sendanyfile - WhatsApp, messenger" which can be used to send file of any extension via WhatsApp. A week later WhatsApp reported the app saying that it contains the word 'WhatsApp' in the app's title and removed the app from play store. Then 2 weeks later this happens....

My colleague got fired. In my country, you need to work x weeks.

So they told him, his last day is start of June. Then they made an error in their official document... So his last day got prolonged with an other week... Then a different error in the new document.... An other week...

Now he got the news that his last day is prolonged with 2 weeks since he already had holidays planned before he got fired. He of course took his holidays thinking it would have 0 effect. They had the time to check this shit out.

He never got the news before that taking the holidays would again prolong his last day...

His last day was delayed 4 times...
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

We all know that being distracted while coding is frustrating. That's why me and my teammates (we are 3) we "protect" each other while on "full dev mode" - meaning anyone coming to disturb one of us while in that state, the other push him/her away.
The most productive 2 weeks of my life 😂😂

JavaScript is the ugly girl freshman year with glasses and acne. Typescript is the beautiful women she became senior year and won prom queen. Hate on JavaScript all you want because it was a language written in 2 weeks but the new releases with es6 and now typescript are a far cry from the js people were written back in the day. The times they are a changing -Bob Dylan.

Confession: I'm launching a major project for a client this time next week. It's some of the worst code I've ever written in my entire life. It's beyond awful, but I have no choice. It's sure going to be fun fixing it for the next 2 weeks post launch.

Not seen girlfriend in 2 weeks. Been here less than a minute and she's ignoring me for facebook. At least I have devRant!

My first project at the job was implenting a website, designed by the same company we mostly worked with.
It was very stressful because half of the 2 months calculated for finishing the project, these genius designers needed for their design. Until then, I had almost no tasks to do...
When the designs finally came, I worked on it and two weeks later was a meeting for review and to decide about some details.
These fuckers then concluded, that the whole design did not fit the page and that they would rework it.
Two weeks later, on the planned release day, we finally received it. A completely fucking different design! Wow!
My boss was pretty angry and so was I. We had to move the release 4 weeks ahead, the client was pissed like a stinking hobo and it needed a lot of convincing to keep that client...

It's fucking nerve-wracking as well that we always have to wait in most projects for weeks for clients or designers to add the content before we can publish a website.
They don't seem to care if they have 2 months or 2 weeks, we never were able to release one single project on time, because of these lazy fuckers...

!rant

The company I work for has a client that needs a major push on some features and I'm going to be working in Silicon Valley for the next 2 weeks because of that...

I can't contain my excitement since I heard the news!

My fucking campus building.
Really. Built a new one in 2017, we started to study there since Oct 2017 til now and lemme tell something: it's shit. My classroom's paint cracked 2 months in. My classroom lacks a projector which is standard for every classroom to have one back in the old campus building. But nooope. No projector for 1.25 years, at least by now compensated by a 50" TV which whoever the fuck installed the thing took the *only* stock HDMI cable. Shitty floor tiling (think r/mildlyinfuriating but worse), shitty toilet that would break down every 2 weeks and "over the top" gymnasium with air ventilation so bad it feels like Hitler's fucking oven every time we got in.

damn its really hard to get back in the flow after not touching any work for 2 weeks

Ok so I'm releasing (in about two weeks) a massive project that my self and other talented people have been working on for about 2 years.

I feel like I want to puke all the time now. God I hope it is okay. 🤢

I'll let you all know what it is if all goes well so I'm not embarrassed if it does not

Wish me luck😐

Just found this in an ancient code after a 2 weeks break
God I hate myself...

Our team spent 2 continues weeks working on deadline, without going home, doing all our activities in the company, learning from each other, nd developing great apps. Once upon a time.

Steeling crime in our office
My mug is stolen and being used by a colleague
I am suspecting the newbies that started 2 weeks ago

Hey DevRanters,

You are tasked with living without tech in any shape or form (Lets say, for 2 weeks).

How you approaching it?

Girlfriend wants to start a fight almost ending the relationship while I have to finish an app in 2 days and the Volley library is starting to get too complicated (should've learned Retrofit instead).

I'm doing the project alone because half of my group literally quit the course to study Advertising and Marketing in the middle of the project.

This is going to be one of those weeks...

It is 10th December, but this "issue" was not fixed in 2 weeks (as screen says, happened 25th November). Noone bats an eye.

Im getting tired of this fucking scrum team.

First of all let me introduce our backend team which takes 3 weeks to add one fucking column to database and in the end turns out they fucked up RabbitMQ RPC implementation so the column is not syncing with our app at all so now we have to wait 2 extra weeks until that will be working. Best part is that backend fucker who fucked up doesnt even feel like hes blocking a feature and would rather sit for extra few days and do nothing until he gets reassigned his pile of shit back to him than clean up his own shit.

Then we have business analytic who doesnt know how to define tasks properly so I have to record each grooming meeting so I would know what to fucking implement because he doesnt even bother to take proper notes. Which results in not fully defined tasks, which results in unexpected behaviours and MR's stuck in limbo for weeks.

Also lets not forget QA guy who doesnt even bother writing scenarios, I as an app dev have to write them myself just to be sure that fucker will test everything thoroughly.

Then we have fucking devs from consultancy agency who apparently have 6 years of experience (I have barely 2) and these fuckers are spamming me daily with the most basic questions. After each grooming they rush to assign themselves tasks which are not even defined properly yet and not even in this sprint, but fuckers are lazy so thy want to reserve easier tasks for themselves. Pathetic.

At least I have a decent senior on my team, but sometimes he patronizes me so much that I start asking me what I am doing in this team.

Fuck this shit, I asked for a 43% raise and if Im not getting it in 2-3 weeks im outta here. Fuckers.

I've made 200 dollars in 2 weeks with fiverr back in the days. Completely fucken drunken all the time.

Not much money, but a very nice experience :D

I need to stop finishing my sprints work within the first 3-4 days of the sprint.

I get so excited to get work that I loose my sense of time and space so I finish it all in one go...

Now I’m gonna be bored again for 2-3 weeks 😫

I am curious to know， where people get their tech news from?

I use:

- TopGitHub app to check the github trends (star growth in days，weeks or months)
- Geek app， which has 1 to 2 articles every 2 days on random tech， hacking stuff.
- Security app， which aggregates news from various tech sources.

I mostly get my news from apps right now as its an easy go when i am on the loo (like right now ;))

Some mother fucker parked his car in my parking lot...and it's lying there for more than 2 weeks...

Got released from the miltary after 3 years of CyberSecurity/Sysadmin role.

2 weeks layer I got a job as security sysadmin in a large telco company.

Still wish to be dev instead though

Client asked for time line for website I told them 6 weeks from moment they provide design (I had other active projects and would have to split time between them ) . For next 4 weeks they would send me design and then after few hours tell me to stop working and that they are going to change design.
After 4 weeks they sent me final version of the design and informed me that it needs to be done in next 2 weeks. We expected 10 more websites from them and it was 7-8 pages so I put other projects on hold and finished it in around week and sent link to them for review, 2 days before deadline they informed me that there are around 20 pages missing pages that are not in final version of design but only in version xx sent more than 2 weeks ago. In next day and half me and 2 other developers had more then 20 hours each to finish it on time

Question.

Would you work 100 hour weeks?

I just read that some developers of game company Rockstar had to work 100 hour weeks because of a deadline for Red Dead Redemption 2.

“We were working 100-hour weeks [several times in 2018],” lead writer Dan Houser explained.

So... would you accept or refuse?

So you warn the agency that the client is going to eat into the Dev time with their constant design change requests. Warned them repeatedly for a good month, I should add, asking them to better manage the client's expectations and push back for a later launch date. Come time for development and they act all surprised that we can't build the entire site, that we outlined in the timeline will take 4 to 5 weeks of Dev time, in less than 2 weeks!! ... It gets worse! They say the client is happy to compromise as long as we launch "something" by this date. We list out what can be done, and the fact that there's no time for the client to do QC and we won't be able to do a full QA phase on the site until after launch and only when we finalise all the features. Agency says client agrees and within 3 days into development, they want to QC the site and add more features....... still wanting all this in 2 weeks. This site has now been in development for 3 months.

Lost my main job due to corona. All I have left now is my few personal gaming projects which generate decent money (usually around 2k euro a month but during corona jumped 3x 4x). I am trying my best to take care of my projects now because its all whats left. Last 2 weeks spent applying for jobs and did really well in 2 of them however didnt received an offer because they cancelled recruitment proccess all together. Meanwhile my gf lost her job and spends most of time in home. While Im trying to cashout as much as I can from my projects so that we could have a better future, she started nagging me about how I work too much and seems depressed. Srsly this fcking pandemic is killing me. Working from home is already hard enough, but being stuck in home with no opportunity to have time for myself while Im the only grown up is fucking killing me. Fuck off everyone Im tired of your needs, I have my own needs as well. If Im telling you that I need a couple weeks to finish my projects then fuck off leave me in peace. 2 weeks wont change shit but at least I would be able to make money for our house women. Stop being needy and start being fucking supportive or this will not going to work out.

So I've realized how socially awkward I am. I've had a goal for a few weeks now to get a few new friends online a few in 2 different categories. Programming friends, and foreign language friends but it's so hard and I dont know how to initiate it on social media or on shit like discord and reddit

When you have 9 pull requests that have been sitting in the queue for the past 2 weeks

Find another job before February.
Try not to lose it in 2 weeks.

So I decided to positively tackle the negative energy surrounding me these past few days. I tried to be productive. I went overboard, of course. Where is the fun in normal?

I wrote down all the urgent tasks I must die-die finish. Anyone closed with Asians will know the severity of the die-die and must combo. I started with tasks I have to finish in 3 days. Then in a week. Then in 2 weeks. I ended up creating more than 25 cards across my respective Trello boards.

The tasks that come to me always need minimum 3,4 working hours. Literally. The furthest deadline I see is Oct 15. The tasks I counted is more than 25. No appointments nor meetings were counted yet. It is not impossible. If I finish 2 tasks per day, 14 days is enough to complete all. I might have to continuously work 2 whole weeks of course. But it is still fine, right? Right, guys? Right? It's doable. Right?

I won't get any unskippable appointment within this 2 weeks. Right?

I won't get new tasks to finish within this 2 weeks. Right?

I won't have to guide other people how to do their tasks within this 2 weeks. Right?

I won't have to work other people's tasks when they absent within this 2 weeks. Right?

I won't have to entertain any annoying client because customer service team can't deal within this 2 weeks. Right?

I won't have to do other personal tasks within this 2 weeks. Right? (Like helping with creating a wedding slideshow for a friend marrying on Oct 28)

My life is totally fine. Right?

Have to do a jee project without any knowledge in java, in 2 weeks.

Why ? My classmates put me in a group when i wasn't here, of course they know nothing and are not going to code..
Fuckkkkkk you!

Well, any advice with jee ? Where should i start to get a good grade x)

Manager : (During 2 weeks before final release) So the client asked if we could have this xyz functionality which we never have done before.
Me: But we already have so many issues to fix and only a week to do that
Manager: that's true.. So Complete them in 3 days ?

Working on photo contest site, no design, no specification. 2 weeks until deadline.

CEO: Deadline is one week earlier, and client wants to have video uploads and automatic facebook share too.
Me: We don't even have a contract and design to work with yet.
CEO: No worries, the contract will be signed by the time you finished the website.

Site done in 1 week, including weekend days and overtime. Production on client's server as asked by CEO.

3 weeks later...

Me: So van you pay the overtime I worked?
CEO: Sorry client not payed and says they don't like the end product. I can't afford to pay you overtime.

2 days later.
CEO: The online department is lossy so you have to work harder in the next month, we have 3 sites to be done.

Me: Do we have the contracts?
CEO: No worries...

Each sprint lasts for 2 weeks. But I get the basic info to start working on my stories only when 3/4th of the sprint is completed....

So yeah....no one gives shit about estimation at least in my case.

Finding the right balance between well written, need-one-week, maintainable software, and fast-written, ready-in-2-hours-and-never-look-at-it-again software.

Last time it took me 20 minutes to integrate with a new API. I had a script that did everything you needed. I then spent 2 weeks on handling error responses, unexpected responses, exceptions, intelligent retries, logging, unit tests, integration tests, caching, documentation, etc.

//computer class at school doing html

classmate:"Hey can you help me? that img isnt showing."

me:"Yeah of course" *look at screen and see a single line if code without spaces or anything*
"What are you doing? Why do you write everything in one line?"

classmate:"Ohh you can write it over multiple lines?"

me:"...."

At that time we worked with html for around 2 weeks

Worked at a big company as firmware dev a few years ago (less than 2) but switched cause of bad pay. Joined a consulting firm with better pay and bemefits. In 2 weeks I am going back to the old company but as a consultat... they should have just payed me and we could have avoided this :D

Hi.. one month ago i started to learn JavaScript (my first programming language)
In the 2nd proyect we create a Data dashboard i do my very best effort to create Js funcional code and other 2 girls works in css and html.
Im really proud of my work (1st time!)
A few guys told me JavaScript is awful and difficult but in a few weeks we will start in jquery.
In 2 weeks im gonna participate in Angelhack Santiago Hackathon 2018
I need an advice for me its a really big step

So I finished all my tasks for the sprint (3-weeks long) in the first 2 days.
Shit that happens when senior team members underestimate your abilities...

Just casually learning if I don't fix a bunch of stuff I know nothing about in a technology I have never touched within 2 weeks the company loses a 100k contract.

Should book holiday.

!rant
The only good thing of having to wait two weeks for a new Doctor episode...
2 Doctor episodes to see in a row...

So....
I was asked to transfer a spaghetti Android/iOS project to xamarin for a bank client yesterday because "that's what they use".

This is a crm/loyalty app that has been around for 2+ years now (you can imagine the mess). On top of that I have no knowledge of c#, .net or xamarin.

So I ask: "When is this supposed to be delivered?"

Boss: "It was scheduled for 2 weeks ago but let's say 2 weeks from now"

Me: "..... This is a huge remake it won't be even close to ready in 2 weeks"

Boss: "Let's check on the progress in 2 weeks and see how it goes"

Why is it hard for bosses to provide an actual timeframe???

He's been pulling the same crap with junior devs for years and of course they get nervous and create more spaghetti code...

Anyway long story short (not) I have an interview Monday!

Let's hope it's not more of the same!

P.S.: to junior devs: When you are given a deadline... IGNORE IT.

So, 2 weeks ago, some guy in here left a comment about how great i3 is, so I was curious and installed it.

Since then I spend the same amount of time on playing with i3 as on doing actual work. Not sure if I love or hate that guy, but i3 really is awesome.

So testing starts in 2 weeks ... lets change the api and micro manage the UI before that 🙄

>be me
>go to a job interview
>company said to wait 1.5 weeks
>wait 2 weeks, after that ,I message them
>the company writes back, tells me they haven't decided on a candidate yet
>two days later the company writes me a letter asking me if I'm interested in a fulltime position, and if yes they will send me more info
>I reply yes
>they don't respond in 3 days
>successfully troll a candidate

That lovely moment when a client calls out of the blue at 4:30PM (we close at 5), 3 weeks before scheduled launch and says, "My website goes down tomorrow so where are we at with the new site?" So...I scrambled all day today to get the site done and it turns out they don't even own their domain or control their DNS. (facepalm) They put in a 30 day cancellation with their current provider and didn't bother to mention we had barely 2 weeks to develop a full custom site.

All is well in 2020 and claiming today will be my year.

1 updated my curriculum vitae and send my resignation love letter
2 hopefully be hired in a stable company and earn enough that can suffice my needs and wants as I moved out from my big sis home. Thank you ^_^
3 move into my long awaited own house for a couple of weeks. Thanks patience and perseverance ^_^
4 self study for freelance projects
5 settle down

So one day I sat in our break hall at school plonking away in my ssh terminal when suddenly someone walks behind me and screams HACKEERRR! When he sees that i start turning around he started sprinting away from me and for 2 weeks he would be extremely scared of me. Thant was probably the weirdest day in my life.

I have only been working with this open-source tool for 2 weeks, but already found 2 bugs. The maintainer is also nice enough answering questions quickly in the forum and submitting the issues for me.

It's nice to be able to contribute something to the open-source community. Yay for me! 💯

Too bad that next week, I will transfer to another project and stop working with this tool.

Here we go, classes are starting again tommorow, tried to do most of the things on holiday, delegated school project stuff to the project members and made a planning with them...
and still nothing happend on their part in a timespan of 2 weeks and the deadline is in 5 days and A FUCK LOAD OF STUFF STILL HAS TO BE DONE AKA I guess I have to do their part too in 5 days..
*going into caffeine induced rage insane mode for 5 days*

Leaving my current job, after being there for 10 years straight after uni, in 2 weeks! I have now been taken out of development and have to somehow write confluence docs of all my knowledge... Fml

So a few weeks ago, our PO really scolded my team for not letting him in on our release planning meeting. His rant went on for about 30 minutes, just one long monologue about why he should be invited in the future.
Apparently he wanted to know details since there were some important fixes in the release, which I suppose is fair (though the rant is really not necessary).

Fastforward 2 weeks, we invite him again. He accepts, but never shows up. We decide to start the planning anyway, since we don't want the release branch blocked because someone didn't show up.
Immediately after the meeting, we write him with the new release plan. And he starts ranting again about "planning without him" -.- ..

1) Stop yelling at the team you're supposed to work with. Talk with the team about it - I'm sure they'll listen.

2) If you demand being in meetings, show up - or at least decline in advance.

3) You have no right to rant about "not being part of the planning" when you were literally invited for a planning meeting 2 weeks in advance. No meetings were overlapping, so there's literally no excuse..

I'm pissed off as fuck. By far these were the worst fucking 2 weeks in a very long time.

My grandma died. At work I had to do shitty tasks and IT support for stupid end users, like an overpayed PC technician. I couldn't find any time to write a single line of code on any of my personal projects.

And I still can't find a fucking developer job. I feel like I'm stuck in this IT hell forever.

Kill me

the feeling when you have typed up ans signed a resignation letter and still need to turn it in and "the talk" with your boss.

made all the better by the fact that we are opening a new location in the time span of the 2 weeks notice I'm about to give.

oh and the boss will be going on vacation just after that.

Why is that when a project deadline has only 2 weeks left, Project Managers starts the project then. Why not start the project when we have 3 or 4 months left for the deadline?

Our Project Manager has this lame attitude that she will start with the sitemap, wire-frame and designing of a website when we have only 2 weeks to the deadline.

What the fuck is going on in here?

Well I'm officially terrified. My biz/coding partner in a project had to move back to China about a year ago. We have been working on a project for about 2 years. About two weeks we had to use different VPNs about every 30 minutes so we could communicate because Chinese government keeps cutting it off. He said the virus is much worse than reported and he was to be imprisonment in his house. I have not heard back from him in over a week. ☹️

The feeling I got after spending 2 weeks for a project in Vietnam...

2 weeks in my new job. I started hating the work. I'm stuck working on legacy systems. This guys don't work on latest technologies.

I think my manager has this false impression that just because we are working from home, we suddenly are gifted with lot of free time.

In my experience, the work life is horrible like this. I have not seen much day light in the last 2 weeks.

I don't know how long i can stay sane like this.

You ever spend a few weeks on a problem. Make little headway on it then get distracted and forget about it for 2 months only to comeback and fix/finish the entire thing in a handful of hours.

That was me today. Could not get something to work back in March. Didn't touch it till today. And just magically I knew what I was doing wrong before

ClientA: We need a minimalist design.

Me, took around 2 weeks to come out a very clean and sleek design with minimal elements.

ClientA reviewed and said: Can I add this and that? I think add in more picture can help to strengthen the credibility. How about......

Need suggestion:
I gave interview in small company. They give me task to complete one project then we will give you job.
It takes me 2 weeks.
Now they are ready to give me job but they want that project in free of cost. What should I do?

Talking about bad error messages

I missed the regular enrollment period for courses starting in 2 weeks, but I did have late enrollment days, which I remembered.
When wanting to late enroll, I was greeted with th error message in the picture. Bad news first, good news later I guess

As you can imagine, my heart skipped a beat. Nonetheless, it was all good in the end, because I was already enrolled for the compulsory courses I wanted to take

I've been seeing this single fucking post in LinkedIn for like 2-3 weeks.

Their sorting algorithm is so fucked up.

Apparently someone posted on Apple's developer forum 2 weeks ago about this root privilege escalation vulenerability in macOS but it took a viral tweet to get any action. 😐

Okay,
So it began like I started my college for a CS degree and my parents asked me to look for a laptop. I started to search gaming rigs. Most bang for the buck. After wasting 2 weeks in analysing all the gaming laptops in the market, their fuckin cooling systems, heat pipes, SSD speeds, and what not, I finally decided to go for a ROG. My parents said that gaming laptops aren't good. They are heavy, etc. Okay. I then looked up for ultrabooks, like zenbook, envy, spectre, x1, etc. My parents said that a decent laptop would come for $700-800, and that's the price range I was searching in. After literally 2 weeks of mad searching, I finally decide to get an AMD ultrabook. I told my parents my final choice.

My parents:-

Oh! We didn't meant that. We just asked you to look for one. We ain't buying you one right now. If you still want a machine, we'll get you a $100 chromebook on your next birthday.

P.s:- My last birthday was 7 days ago😑

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK YOU GOOGLE, you placed a damn email about an interview in the spam box and I only realized it 2 weeks afterwards. END ME, JUST DO IT NOW

Just wrote an angry email about the unrealistic demands towards my team. Got a call an hour later from [product owner] where he had the most worried voice i ever heard because we are the only data scientists in the research. I expected an email reply in 2 weeks, seems like we are somewhat important here.

The sinking feeling you get when you have looked forward to working on your project for a week and your gf tells you that the inlaws will wisit on your only free days in 2 weeks.. Please aliens take me awayyyy.

Applyed for internship for an American company in Japan. Email said I will interview with 3 people at most, 1h each, back to back, and everything will be in English.
But on the day they said I will interview with 4 people, and everything was in Japanese.
They said they will tell me the results within 2 weeks, but got rejected after 3 weeks.

Take responsibility for what you say guys...

Pm: Hey we need you to add this feature to client ABC and we need it in 3 weeks.

Me: Ok. Just so I know how long have you know about this?

Pm: Oo about 3 weeks ago.

Me(outside): Ok 😐😐😐

Me(inside): Really you could give me some information about this 3 weeks ago. Even 2 weeks ago would have been find. AHHHHHHHHHHH!😡😡😡😤.

Client asked me to complete the job as fast as I can and, here I am, waiting for the review of the latest version for the past 2 WEEKS.

Good thing, she paid up the entire amount beforehand. *Rubs hands in glee*

Today at 'Derp & Co' is the end of the last sprint, no one have close all the task asigned. Myself included.

- that sucks...

Because there are task from previos sprints still in TODO that block other tasks.

- oof

But there is more... Yesterday was the deadline of the project. From today and onwards the client get discount.

- oof (but fair to the client)

Management have in mind AT LEAST 4 more weeks of development.

- But... how... wtf?

In 2 weeks part of the hardware we need for the project will return to the client.

- <smash the door and leave>

Management still is asking if we can do it on time...

- yeah... just call the Doctor, we need a TARDIS ASAP

Weeeell…

I have been in a team where every week they had this long and complex task of refactoring everything and changing lots of assets (~2 days of work every 2 weeks) cause the senior tards refused to use a script for it. Told them to use the goddamn backend or a script… the answer? “But that would take at least two days of work! Maybe even three! (As a one time job)” Math you ducking ducks! The second time you use it you are in a time profit!

I actually made a friend on gitter. We were regulars in a few channels, we started talking. Then we paired for some projects, he would help when I was stuck and vice versa. I ended up traveling 9000 miles to meet him and he took me to party for 2 weeks straight. That was fun.

All devs in the company are booked 120% until late summer. Boss just sold another 6000 hours cloud project to kick off in 2 weeks. I’m the PM, and my colleagues will hate me for this thinking that it’s my fault they have to work their asses off for the next 5 months!

!rant

I love the first weeks after a job change. It's just like falling in love, everything seems to be perfect until you take off the pink glasses.

Have to wait until I'm assigned a burning project to have a full picture.

Actually I am in a burning project. Deadline in 2 weeks. Doing Bugfixes which do not require in-depth project knowledge, and... It's fine. All a matter of perspective. I also think that project based work suits me more than usual 15y old legacy enterprise shit. And I'm able to switch. From embedded C++ over hardware dev to fullstack .NET (I consider myself as a full-fullstack dev, able to do everything from hardware to frontend).

Topics such as IOT, medical, device engineering, machine learning. Wow.

It's my first company having >50 employees and multiple offices in multiple countries. I used to jump every 2 years from one shitty garage company to another.

Wish me good luck ✌️

Oh my God I didn't even noticed I crossed 1000++ in just 2 weeks of newly activated me! Over 400++ in fucking 2 WEEEKKKSS!!!

THANK YOU GUYS I LOVE YOU

My worst team experience finished only a week ago:

- Be me
- be averaging 80% in completed modules and on track for a 1st
- have to take a team project worth double credits
- get stuck in random team with 40%ers
- lose 1 artist at the start (team of 12: 6 artists, 6 programmers)
- 2 artists contribute nothing and disappear for a few weeks
- I'm forced to do level design to have something to show (looked good tbh)
- weeks go by and too many contribute very little.
- by the end the team was basically 4 programmers and 2 artists contributing.

All other teams basically get an easy 2:1/1st just because their team turns up and contributes.

I could lose a 1st because of this module bringing down everything else, it also had a huge effect on what I could achieve for my dissertation due to time.

- did get an award at the end for managing to not kill someone and showing restraint 😂😂

Basically don't choose a degree where more than 25% of your mark is almost entirely out of your hands.

The small individual component I averaged over 90%!

My ex-colleague from Sony wrote to me to consult about SLAM system for his side project. Bro...I'm reading papers for like 2 weeks and in no position to advise anyone 😂

- have a look at the project
- brake it down into smaller stories
- estimate the time
- multipy it with 1.5
- add 1-3 days of testing
- add 15% project management
- add a 2 days buffer

= be happy with being done in 2 weeks, present it in 4

First job. Started 2 weeks ago, I'm doing an internship in a Web development company and even though my studies were mainly for Java and Android, it's going fine.
Past week I learnt to use .less and HTML5 and will start with Javascript now.

Someone blocked access to AWS RDS database and for the past few weeks I can't access the database from my machine when connected to our company network.

Created support ticket to internal IT team and someone closed the ticket. I re-opened the ticket and in the comment someone wrote "Their team doesn't handle AWS access".,

Wrote email to the director of infrastructure and that asshole replied to me asking some questions and after that his been ghosting me for past 2 weeks.

I'm tired and I don't have energy to do any more follow ups.

13 weeks of internship turned into 2 github folders in a master repository for the next intern to pick up on wow I feel a little insignificant but I also know that I'm definitely more prepared for my next programming adventure with the skills I learned from this experience

My new co-worker, a Jr. developer who started 2 weeks ago told me; "I am starting to see in my dreams the solutions of my tasks."

"Welcome to the club.", I said. :P

Just wanted to share about what just happened today.

So I graduated with a CS degree 2 years in EU and since then worked in two companies for a year in each of them, where I was paid 18k EUR gross salary in both of my jobs.

Just today I accepted an offer in Sweden for 48K eur/year and they will help be with relocation!

I am extremely happy and starting my new position in 6 weeks. Going to exercise, try to loose some weight and get better clothes, just to look sharp! Also going to sharpen up my skills as well as have 2 weeks holiday before I start.

Morever I will maintain my current job as a contractor where they will pay me 27EUR/hour so every month I will get 50-100 hours of extra work. I just hope that I will be able to balance main job+contractor job+side projects. I know it wont be easy but I wont be in a relationship so it should be manageable!

Got let go / fired today. I was still on my probation period, but they are going to pay me out for the next 2 weeks.

My boss wasn't even in the call "because he's in a sales meeting".

You know you are being let go when you don't have access to any company passwords, and they don't assign you any new work.

Well, onto something new. But first going to relax and catch up on my sleep.

Received a Full Stack Radio t-shirt and some new stickers this week, from the creator of Tailwind CSS. The shirt was printed in the wrong size; though I'm already happily expecting one in the right size, such things happen, and they fixed it before I even received this package (USA2BEL, 2 weeks in postage...)

Happy accident along with this; double the amount of stickers!! :D (and of course, double the shirts!)

My biggest challenge has been moving away from an unmaintainable Java/Tomcat/Spring Security application server to a Node.js/Express application server. That handles single sign on and two factor authentication. In 2 weeks.

I'm a front end dev. I'm sure it's fine 😓

Worked 2 weeks on hunting a memory leak on a product.

Ended up writing object tracker to find the leak(ironically it was in garbage collector). Found the leak and fixed it. It sounds cool but what I pushed was 9 lines commented out 1 line added for 2 weeks work..

Doesn’t feel very fulfilling to work for 2 weeks to comment out few lines. Only silver lining is that I might turn my object tracker into a library for colleagues to use.

P.s: not a linux or windows environment so tools like walgrind aren’t available.

A job that I wanted so bad, I had went to 3 interviews in one day, plus one phone interview before this. AFTER this, I went to yet another interview. 2 weeks later I get a phone call letting me know ow that they chose the other candidate because that person apparently had more passion for programming than me.

How the fuck do you measure passion?

Tech dumb Friend just came in with his laptop saying it was overheating and shutting down for d past 2 weeks for no fkin reason. Initial thoughts were dusty vents but wow i opened task manager and ders literally a bitcoin miner named GPUminer.exe running in d top of task manager task list. Retard mfs didn't even mask d mf name. Resetting d shitshow now thanks mr hax0rBoi.

I quietly refactored an entire NodeJS express in-house framework that was written in Java style (dependency injection, inheritance, inversion of control) and split it into typed, composable, parameterized, testable middlewares in 2 weeks (including some complicated ones like a custom Openid Connect flow)

Now comes the hard part: convincing the Java-devs who wrote it that it is useful

CEO: so how long would this take?
Me: Me plus another engineer... probably 4 weeks.
CEO: What if I give you XYZ(principal engineers from infra team)
Me: Wait... no i need a full stack engineer.
CEO: okay fine. I'll give you 3 engineers, can you get it done in 2 weeks instead?
Me: No... some of the work cannot be parallelized.
CEO: okay.
....a week later
CEO: I thought about it, what if you work days and night, and also the weekend, can you get it done?
Me: nnlnn

How to manage updates on production as web agency

1: Update the GitHub private repo with your changes
2: Write an email to the customer sysadmin and ask to sync in staging and later production
3: Wait 2 weeks and do another ping about it
4: The sysadmin later will do that
5: In the meantime there is a security update of your CMS and a lot of plugins to update
6: Try to update from the CMS panel and there are no write permission
7: Cry a lot and write another email to go back to point 2

Me: Wrote and unit testing code for a user story.

Day of a Merge
PO: We need to back out the code you wrote. We have not gotten approval from legal.

Me: Uhhh well it's not going live for 4 weeks still and not harming anything but if you insist, ok.....

2 Days Later
PO: Ok legal approved the changes can you put that back in?

Me: 😡🖕🏻

I spent 2 weeks building a website for a friend for equity in his company. Different user types and views to serve his purposes. He changed it out with a Wix site yesterday... It is true my CSS was shitty but damn, I spent so much time on the backend. I think I learned something?

At my last work place I wanted to visit a Conference for a long time but my boss never even was interested in at least helping me with the price of the tickets.

Now at my new job 2 Weeks in and I already got tickets for the w-jax in Munich <3

I'm soooooo exited :D

The meeting I will go in few minutes. Our app went in production 2 weeks ago, the managers invite us (devs) to have a drink with 'important' people I don't even know. We will celebrate the success of the project, after 6 months of pressure with everyone telling we will fail and that we are losers. Hypocrite meeting.

That feeling when you're almost done with your personal project using an entirely new language and framework :)) been working on it for the last 2 weeks. 62 commits in!!

My best mentor was at my first job at IBM. The senior dev took 2 weeks to pair program with me and get me up to speed on all the applications, tips and tricks, and the different legacy codebases. I learned more in those 2 weeks than my entire 4 years at college lol.

I'm currently at a company where we have "performance reviews" every 2 weeks, and based on the outcome we get a percentage which then is used to calculate a performance bonus.

This is simply my manager (also a developer) who has his Excel spreadsheet, looking at tasks I did over the course of the past 2 weeks and almost nitpicking to find some fault. There is no code review or software demo to see what's been done either... I was there for the first 3 months and I don't think anyone had even open my code!

And when confronted, I get told that "You should also somehow be financially liable for the goings-on in the business", along with a 2 hour meeting to support that.

This is NOT how you motivate developers!

Apologies for the long rant...

</rant>

when you remember there was an app contest you were gonna enter, quickly write an app in the last 2 weeks, and win

Application: *starts w/o any errors*
Me: *closes ~40 tabs in chrome*

took me >2 weeks of poking around in the dark to accidentally guess that I simply didn't need to create a file I thought I needed.

Now I can rest. Finally... Damocles' sword is no longer hanging over my head

Went to a 15 minute meeting to discuss an app I’m working on. Nothing I’m the agenda seemed aimed at me and I figured I was there just to pitch in as needed.

Took 2 hours and I ended up leaving with three weeks worth of work and the single most complicated workflow I have ever heard of. I do not get paid enough for this.

2 years ago, the first day in Viareggio(Italy):
walked 30min on the beach searching the "free beach", walking with cool bag, umbrella, and backpack in the hot summer sun...

finding the "free beach": drop everything I had and run to the water to cool down...

forget iPhone in my swimming trunks :(
1. five weeks without a phone (really relaxing;))
2. have no iOS device for restoring the backup... because I bought an oneplus 3

Me currently in my 3rd year of university: hears about blockchain from my friends, reads 5 pages of ethereum white paper; sees a cool machine learning project, watches 2 weeks of Andrew Ng's course; plays a cool game, downloads Unity and makes a hello world game; hears about wifi vulnerability, purchases an ethical hacking course.

Number of things mastered: 0

Reminiscing my first tech sticker, this one's from my first hack-a-thon. :') gonna go to the same one in 2 weeks, kinda nervous because I didn't really learn much compared to last year. (but I shamelessly collect the stickers)

Domain Architect my ass. When I actually need you you make excuses for 2 weeks just to finally tell me that I made mistake because I followed instructions made by your department. The worst part is that you don't even remember that I actually followed the instructions in your presence! Fuck you and I hope that corona infects your laptop.

Got my first job in a web development company. I am on a trial period, which means at the end of two weeks they will evaluate my performance and give me a full time contact. As a trial I am given task to work on internal CMS system. And OMG!! the coding is horrible. I think someone can start from scratch and redo the entire thing faster the adding new features to that piece of Hell!! Am worried after 2 weeks my performance is going to look bad.

Spent 2 weeks writing code in different services
Today D-Day for integrating all of it. And guess what, Friday evening and it's not working.

Final step in application process!! 😆😆

Got a video call with manager and 2 others from department on Friday.

Also hilarious finding yesterday

I got an email from my cousin who's getting married, with the address and all that. Which I immediately looked up and weirdly recognized the area.

Turns out her wedding is a 23 minute walk from the building id be working at if I get this job.

Hilarious coincidence since the wedding has be 'in planning' or whatever it reffered to as for months
And I've been trying to get this position for like only 2 weeks

DBA tells us 2 weeks in advance about database upgrade, but we developers forgot as manager insists in managing tasks via emails.
Monday morning brings the news that our web app isn't functioning properly. DBA responded saying he informed us in advance.
Manager blames it on the DBA that he informed us too much in advance.
I can take my share of blame but why the poor DBA for doing his job.

Currently sat waiting to go into a 11am meeting where I will be told something is wrong even though I've completed a workload of 2 weeks in 3 days. If any PMs are on here, no appreciation sucks.

For 2 weeks I was scheduled to work on a project. After tirelessly asking the useless PM for a list of tasks I should work on I gave up and worked on another project.

Fast forward 2 weeks and now that the PM wants me to fill in a form they are more than capable of completing (API request) I am getting endless 'kind reminder' emails. How can someone be such a cunt!

Venting my frustration about this incompetent idiot here is likely stopping me saying something I would otherwise be fired for.

Holiday in 6 days, wohoo. 3weeks in Thailand. So ready for it.

Currently working on a huge real estate website. Design got approved yesterday, yesterday I finally got partial access to the clients real estate data. Where the data is uploaded to our server as zip files containing a xml file and files attached to it.
Deadline is tomorrow, but has been pushed back 2-3 weeks, which sucks as I probably have to work whilst on vacation

It's my first rant. So please ++1 me.

Now my rant:

In this semester I had a subject about system architecture. In this class, we must learn Java script, C# (and ASP.NET framework ), PHP (and Zend Framework 2), but in the classes is taught only UML and patterns. In the moodle of the subject we don't have any information about any of the languages and if we ask the teachers they don't know anything.
And we need in 4 weeks do a work with a widget in javascript, 2 Asp.net mvc, 1 asp.net web api. All with authentication.

So we are all fucked

One day every 2 week, we got to spend the Friday just learning and trying stuff. No working on projects unless it's critical.
On these days, I feel like I learn much more than in the rest of the weeks.
Today I built (normally Python developer) a web service using Rust.

2 weeks to transfer a system we'd spent 2 years developing to a team with different stack experience who are based in a different office.

We're counting the days until the service is dropped.

What do you do when you don't have any assigned work in office and idle for 2 weeks..?
I'm already frustrated. And I don't know to pretend I'm working infront of manager 😁