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Programmers of today are like the monks of the middle ages. We use a language that people don't understand, we spend all our time sitting in a room reading, and people constantly ask us for advice but never really listens to the answer.9
At my old job we hired a junior developer. Turned out the junior knew more than all of us. I learnt a lot from him and it pushed me to update my knowledge and skill set!10
I am currently working for a client who have all their data in Google Sheets and Drive. I had to write code to fetch that data and it's painful to query that data.
I can definitely relate with this.
PS: Their last year revenue was over US$2 Bn and one of their sibling company is among Top IT companies in the country.7
Manager: Why is no one innovating?
Me: You hired all of us based on culture fit so you have optimized only in that direction. Everyone is same ... like you
Manager: You are right.4
PROBLEM: A tickets' company came to us last autumn. They said they have severe performance problems and asked us to help.
SOLUTION: covid and quarantines. All events have been ceased, noone's buying any tickets any more. Performance problems are no more. FIXED.
PROBLEM: Another company came to us recently. They said they have severe performance problems with their huge databases and asked us to help.
SOLUTION: a few days of heavy rain and their datacenter was flooded. along with the backup servers. No more data, no more performance problems with large databases. FIXED
Solving problems genie style!
I'd say that one of the most emotional days for my entire team was when a potential client called us and told us that they just rescued a teenage girl and prevented her from making a suicide by using our service.
The service itself is extremely simple and does not even work in all cases (due to various limitations). But when it does, it saves time, money and above all lives. When you realise that the girl who has already wrote her goodbye letter and ran away is saved at the top of the cliff... Well, then you know that you are doing at least something right!9
So many people are applying for computer science majors that it's making me nervous.
My classmates don't know shit about tech yet almost all of them are applying for CS. It's even the most popular ranked major in the US.
I don't think I stand a chance against them. They all have higher GPAs than me, and they participate in clubs and sports.
If those cave people get accepted I'm not going to be too happy about it.63
We build a backup infrastructure at work to make sure that clients can restore their files and databases themselves when something gets fucked up.
We also have step by step tutorial on how to do this.
Every fucking day we get requests to restore backups.
Mostly used reason is "I'm a technical so I won't understand it".
With all due respect, if you don't understand this and keep asking without even trying, please don't host with us.
Because, if you did as I asked and actually read through the entire article, you would.
In case you're wondering, anytime one of us asks what part they don't understand, that question is simply ignored and they pushing for us restoring it anyways continues.
Sometimes they get angry and want to talk to someone higher up or start complaining that they're paying loads of money already and that it would just take us a second anyways.
If you would read the fucking tutorial/manual instead of trying to eat out your mother's badly shaved pussy and hopefully choke on it while you're at it, you wouldn't come asking us for it.
If you genuinely don't understand this article, feel free to ask but also provide us with cocksucking feedback.
Why do you think you have the right anyways to ask us to do it for free? We maintain the backup infrastructure which definitely isn't cheap but we do it so that you, pubic sniffing weazel, can do this shit on your fucking own.
You're entitled to ask us for help but not for asking us to restore your bullshit for free every freaking time.
Tip: give your parents some condoms. Because that way they hopefully won't reproduce again, we don't need more of you in this universe.7
Weirdest co-worker was a loner(he prefers to be left alone) and he has no social skills.
One day, everyone in the office received an invitation letter. All of us were invited to our weirdest co-worker's wedding!
After that, everyone became his friend :)6
A guy who doesn't work on our project anymore, but still checks on us regularly just did this:
- reported a bug
- started explaining what's causing the issue
- realised the problem was in a piece of code written by him before
- fixed his own mistake, committed it and created a pull request
We all had a good laugh.6
HR girl sent a generic email with the job description and benefits of the company but forgot to set it as BCC.
Not 3 minutes passed that all the 73 recipients of the mail (me inlcuded) start replying to all making jokes about it, ranting about HR in general.
An hour later we created a Facebook page called "not-BCC guys" where we keep us posted about opening positions in our companies to bypass future HR hunting interactions.1
"GitHub blocked all Iranian accounts without any prior notice and they don’t give us a chance to download a backup of our data. Here is a screenshot from GitHub support response to a developer who sends a request for backup"
I remember last year in school one of my teachers had us make a little web page with HTML and CSS. She was confused when I was using an external CSS stylesheet. She thought all the CSS had to be in a style tag inside of the index.html file...6
dfox please put in a "support us" feature of some sort that lets us watch ads of our own free will. I hate using your resources while not working for it at all.44
Twitter: We use your tweets to analyze your preferences and target ads for you..
Facebook & Whatsapp: We monitor your posts, locations, private chats and target ads for you..
Google: We spy your mails, sms, location, pretty much all your activity and tailor ads for you..
All of them combined: No one can beat us in breaching privacy and bombarding you with ads..
Amazon: Hold my beer 🍺5
Friend: Hello dude, I have an idea that..
Me: (cuts in) no.
Friend: you didn't even hear me out!
Me: let me guess. You have a super idea you want us to work on. I will be the tech guy and you the business guy and we would get funding and that will make us super rich and make all those girls that looked down on us start chasing after us?
Friend: something of that nature.
Me: I already said no.
Friend: just no?
Me: Oh I am sorry. No fucking way in hell.17
My words to live by...
Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager
Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"...
Damn kids. They're all alike.
But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain,
ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what
made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?
I am a hacker, enter my world...
Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of
the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me...
Damn underachiever. They're all alike.
I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain
for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms.
Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..."
Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike.
I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is
cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I
screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me...
Or feels threatened by me...
Or thinks I'm a smart ass...
Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...
Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike.
And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through
the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is
sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is
"This is it... this is where I belong..."
I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to
them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...
Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike...
You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at
school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip
through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or
ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us will-
ing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.
This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the
beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying
for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and
you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek
after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color,
without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals.
You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us
and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.
Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is
that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like.
My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me
I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual,
but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.
Irma is coming. And just a few weeks after we move to South Beach full time. Figures.
Anyway, if the storms sweeps us away, remember that I love you all.
Well... most of you.
Ok, like a handful of you.58
Went to my first Hackathon this weekend.
There was 6 of us, 3 devs (including me) and 3 business guys for the presentation and info gathering
The 3 business guys wouldn't show us any of their work, but we're demanding to see all of ours.
Bothering us every 5 minutes to see 2her4 23 are and what's left
Then 1 of 3 business guys accused one of my devs of deleting half of their PowerPoint presentation. That turned out to be bullshit. Looked in the edit history and the business guy was the one who deleted them.
We brought it up to them all, and they got all defensive.
Then, before they revoked our access to the PowerPoint they removed us from the presentation entirely.
Their final presentation contained an app(APK only) we spent an all nighter on, and pictures of a few of the wireframes we did.
I immediately went to an event organizer, filled a complaint. Showed the wireframe project, the source code of the APK they used, and told her they just dropped us and stole our work. She went to them, they couldn't prove they did the work
They are now banned from future hackathons at this place.
I do not appreciate being fucked with, and more so don't like it when you try to fuck my friends. Honestly want to send an email to the business guys workplace and inform them their two top employees are thief's.
The positive thing I took from this is me and my dev team built a stronger relationship and found out we work amazing together.
/Rant about trash humans10
Who needs screenshots?
At my first job in a web agency, we had this client who wanted to make some changes to his website and sent them to us by email. So far nothing unusual ... until I opened the email. To show us the changes he wanted to make the guy has done these steps:
1) He took the picture of his PC screen with the smartpone
2) Printed the photo of the screen
3) He made some pencil scribbles on the paper with comments like "Here we change the font, here we change the color" and the arrows that indicated where to move some blocks of the layout
4) Then he scanned the sheet with scribbles and sent it to us as a pdf by email
Of course, all our attempts to explain how a screenshot works have been useless and he went on like this for weeks5
We just deployed a new version of our app on a friday afternoon and all developers are taking the next week off. Wish us luck! 😂6
I have the urge to fucking smash all of the mosquitoes on the whole universe.
I tried to sleep many times after killing 2 of them. But there are still more of them. Anyways, "since I am fully awake, let us do some research" I thought lol.
-In the research I found that only the female mosquitoes are the ones who are annoying us.
The male mosquitoes dislike drinking blood and eat nectar instead.
And not only that...
-There are approximately 3.5k types of mosquitoes and only a few hundred of these are the bad guys, even if they look all the same.
-Human-biting mosquitoes fly at heights of less than 25 feet in general.
-Mosquitoes are hunting us, because of a specific substance. Carbon dioxide. Every time we exhale CO2, we kind of create a path for the mosquitoes to find us :). They think about it like this:
>there is probably going to be a meal
>let us fucking get it
-Female mosquitoes flap their Wings slower than male mosquitoes thus it makes it easier for male mosquitoes to detect female mosquitoes.
-Male mosq. do not touch female mosq., when they are resting, but once a female starts buzzing the male recognizes that pattern, flies to her and starts making love.
- A scientist who was working for the US Army found out that the male mosq. will even try to mate with recordings of female mosquitoes' sounds.
-They can not fly until the 10th floor as someone has observed it.
-But then again they have been found breeding up to 8k feet in the Himalayas.
-They live in the water and barely come to the surface for food and o2.
Ps: While I was writing this rant, another 2 mosquitoes bit me and I fucking killed them.35
Yes! finally 4588 people got fed. I am targeting 10k of people. Get free food from my food bank. Previously people dont know where to get it , now they know it from my platform.
It is so satisfying to see people help the needy get food and groceries.
All of us can do this, as Malaysian government fuck themselves, the rest of us citizens can help each other...5
Mobile app crashed a lot after latest release. Everyone called for a meeting to discuss the issue and find resolutions.
Engineering lead for backend team: well part of our problem is we haven’t had time to test everything fully. Maybe product could give us a list of all the features that can’t go down and we’ll prioritize those for testing?
Product: ... ... ... all of them?
Me: laughing hysterically while on mute2
Everyone’s a remote worker at our company by default. Literally no HQ or central physical office to report to. As it should be for most people who are knowledge workers or coders. Why commute and pollute and all that nonsense? It doesn’t make sense anymore for a lot of people like us.14
Sending one big PDF with character analysises of everyone in the company to all of us, from apprentice to founder. He had even brought cake, but the boss threw it out the window and made the guy leave the moment he read that mail 😂3
We want a web site.
We're going to want lots of interactive content, which we'll define later.
You need to develop the whole thing in 2 weeks.
We'll give you all the details after you tell us exactly how much it will cost.8
The rants I read here make me want to be a better developer. I started writing tests, linting code and ensuring 'quality code' because of the devrant community. Being a self taught developer, you never really have anyone to thank. But today I would like to appriciate you all for the rants, comments and advice that make us developers become better at our craft.2
Customer: «We want all the users belonging to this organization share the same username and password»
[Editor's note: we are talking about 500 users, more or less half of the total in the system]
Customer, after some minutes: «It's very important for us having the web interface using HTTPS, because we care security a lot».
So, please, go fuck yourself. And die.6
4 years ago, during our college, a friend of mine was explaining us about hacking using simple SQL injections. He showed us some of the sites he hacked. Out of curiosity we tried it on college internal website it worked. We had access to all the details of all the students in university, and even the lecturer's information. We informed the management , they were shocked on seeing this. They had just spent 25 lakhs for this website couple of months ago.6
Company wide ban on headphones at desks, because how can people be working if they're listening to music? Never felt so miserable in my life.
Fuck fuckitty fuck, with a side order of bollocks. May the senior management of this tight arsed tin pot cowboy outfit of a company all sleep soundly at their desks until Doomsday while the rest of us keep them in business. See, I'm not bitter...27
Today I announced to a customer (a shitty one) that we had lost all their data. When I was done explaining what happened, one of my employee turn to me and said :"oh! I know where the data are. I did a backup there". It was after 1 weeks of searching that the tech decided to tell us he knew where all the backup went... Now I have to call the customer again...2
so my isp assigned all of our devices WAN ip's instead of giving our router a WAN ip and letting us handle our own lan.
so our subnet is x.x.15.255
but when I subnet scan x.x.255.255 I get 1337 results, no joke 1337
so I can access windows servers, ip cameras, sure a lot of them are locked, I'm scanning 0.0.0.1 - 255.255.255.255 now to see what else there is.
HR: Hey we heard about all of the apps you are building and we were wondering if you could build one for us too
Dev: Well I’d have to run it by my manager first, what kind of app were you looking to build?
HR: Ok basically it’s a button that when you press it it completes the list of daily tasks that normally take us all day everyday like payroll and attendance reporting.
Dev: You…. want me to…automate your entire job away?
HR: No! We would be the ones to push the button😡.
Dev: I….. I’ll…. I will pass that along.4
Why can't people learn to Google? Junior software dev has to ask me how to do absolutely everything. Just Google it omfg!! And format your code once in a while, it takes half a second and makes it easier for all of us.9
"How long will it take us to build X?"
"How long is a piece of string?"
Very similar indeed. Time estimates are insanely hard even with all the cards on the table, be sure to lay them all out before asking.1
And this scares the shit out of me.... Are we all doing harm in Developing code that seems to ease our work now, but might even kill us later...11
I have this teacher that makes us do really simple things all the time like "copy and past this into another program" or "change this setting"
The problem is (aside from it being really boring) he doesn't understand how to do most of the things he tells us to do.
If we have a question, he goes and Google's it..5
CEO calls the Android team in for a congratulatory speech. Likens us to tower builders in the age of cellular tech, building the infrastructure of something great. Then finishes his talk with “and when they were finished, they fired all the tower builders”
I think he was trying to joke, but it sure as hell didn’t feel like it.6
the worse type of clients are the ones who want a web site ready to deploy with all content present, but can't fucking provide their content
I'm talking about an eshop for a big company in the region who can't fucking provide us the products they intend to showcase and considered the work on their page incomplete because it lacks content12
2nd year of college, in computer science course and they're teaching us how to create star patterns using 'for loop'. Feels like 9th grade all over again (sigh)6
Our professor once asked us to 'mess up' the functionality of a PHP script with one shell command for fun. People tried different things like occupying the port, messing with access rights etc.
My friend just wrote a 'sed' command to replace all the underscores with an empty space...😂
It goes without saying that he stole the show.2
Interviewer: So which university are you from?
Me: I am from "foo" university.
Interviewer: So why did you not go to "bar" university?
Inner Me: Wtf kind of a question is that. Why the fuck aren't you a unicorn with pigs flying out of your ass and a globally reknowned researcher at Stanford?
We all end up where destiny takes us. Some of us try very hard but things don't magically happen for us. We keep trying but at the end of the day you end up where you end up.
Real Me: I just finished my High School and had the entry test the next day. I was not prepared at all.4
Dear YouTube tutorial makers, if you list your video as a tutorial doing something only to make people download a library of framework and then teach us how to use the library you can go fuck a cactus :-3
Every single video that interests me like building interpreters, new 2D game methods and the like all have no actual ground up programming at all... Ugh!6
Don’t put pressure on yourself to understand everything. No single person understands it all, that’s why there’s a bunch of us.6
TL:DR: US Border Control can detain you, force you to unlock and search all your devices without a warrant, they don't even need a hint of suspicion. Guess I aint travelling to the US in the foreseeable future. This is some North-Korea shit.28
WHY THE FUCKING FUCK CAN FUCKING DESIGNERS NOT FUCKING DESIGN TO FUCKING STANDARDS.
Do they have to just piss all over photoshop and expect us developers to turn their insanity into something that doe snot make us fucking cringe.
To top it off its some old ass legecy product bloated up with that useless peice of shit bootstrap, guess they forgot to mention that to the designer too, not that it would of made any difference with this pile of shit he churned out.1
A while back our whole team was really frustrated with the marketing department.
In retaliation we made a new branch for our project called marketing-bs, which was used for all of marketing feature requests.
It's the little wins that keep us going.1
Dev lead on another team: Ok we can build that API for the mobile apps, we'll generate everything, generate printable images for the labels, persist it all and do all the relevant lookups and checks. Do you need an SLA?
Director: Yes, 9ms
Lead: Sorry .... 9ms?
Director: yeah, its a must have
Lead: ... the speed of light wouldn't even let us transmit it that fast18
One fucking stupid 3 minute task I must take care of...Let us all spend 30 minutes putting it into Google Keep, Outlook calendar, Trello then OneNote..in case we forget....
Wait..I forgot to start my Jira time tracker.
I'll Slack you once it's all done then we can Skype to discuss.
We were in a college group. Five people. Making project in PHP. Some forced us to use cakePHP framework than left. One guy decided to not participate and decited to do it next year. One guy didn't know PHP at all. The two of us have to do all the work for five people.
On the presentation day we have ten minutes to do it. Guy without PHP knowledge forget password for our app, make three wrong guesses and locked us out of our app for five minutes.2
I wanted an Android phone with latest Oreo version, atleast 4gb RAM, 32gb or more with good processor supporting 4G dual SIM with a resolution of 1440 pixels by 2560 pixels at US$ 100.
Well got for all of it for US$125.
I went to LineageOS site, exported and filtered all supported devices with my relevant device attributes.
Got LeEco LeMax 2 for US125$ on eBay. Installed latest LineageOS 15.1 with Android 8.1.0. got 25gb free space.
Using the phone for last 10 days, flawlessly.26
hey i'm 49 years young today. can i get some ❤?
us old dudes have feelings too. i got praise from management for all of my above-and-beyond work and contributions, but my social life? meh: anemic. in need of virtual hugs and stuff.15
My lecturer went out and bought us all rubber ducks to encourage our "rubber duck debugging". Honestly the highlight of my semester.3
I worked at a company that was recently acquired by another one based in Poland. On my last day at work, the CEO flew out from Kraków to meet all of us personally and treated us to dinner. Soon after, we were all inducted into their hiring process, and now I'm currently waiting for my first project at the new company 😊 brilliant guy, can't wait to know him and the team better!3
I feel all of us here could use this brilliant quote by Douglas Adams.
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.1
To all product managers: either give us a set of features and ask for a time frame, or give us a time frame and ask what can be developed. You can't dictate both!4
It is a sincere request to all the people who are asking for a backup of their files and documents, to please stop pestering us regarding the same.
We can't possibly collect your data, and even if there's a way, it would be nearly impossible for us to find your data from billions and billions of files and directories.
Citizens are requested to please understand our problems.
Have a nice day :)4
User: I need you to extract all the invoice data for us.
Me: What invoice data in particular, what are filters you require. This is a massive database with millions of transactions.
User: JUST EXTRACT THE TABLE!
Me: Right.....(this is a database with 3000+ tables and hundreds of joins)7
The most unproductive meeting was definitely a day long meeting about “inclusiveness” with an emphasis on toxic masculinity. It was all the dev teams for a whole day which was ballpark 40-60 devs total. Most of us were like, “We have never even had a woman on our teams to alienate.” Eventually a dev hiring manager allowed the three female devs to leave half way through because they were being repeatedly singled out by the HR lady running the meeting.
The rest of us sat through another half day of the HR lady telling us on how bad we are because we are men.19
I read a lot about people complaining about their shitty jobs. Some of us actually have nice jobs, but could really need more coworkers.
Wouldn't it be nice if devRant had the possibility to post job offers? Of course, no recruiters allowed, just awesome job offers, so we can all work together on some nice projects.
PS: Could really need some help at work :-)6
In a former company we had a CEO that was no developer but thought he knows better just because of googling stuff.
One meeting was a very ridiculous one. He told us which technology we should use for the new project. All of us developers objected and agreed on something better.
It ended in he yelling at us and calling us stupid and incompetent. This meeting lasted almost a whole day.
I left the company soon after.1
Happened last semester, due to lack of admin rights to us students on our computer in OS Lab, a friend wasn't able to start a program. So the OS teacher came and instructed the lab helper to install more RAM on the computer, so that programs cam run without admin access.
We lost all hope of ever understanding OS in class.7
Client : We have performance issues on <this> page.
US : Testing with their data on : Xeon : All good, Core i7 : all good, Core i5 : all good, A smartphone : all good, core i5 UM version from 5 years ago (You know, 1.8Ghz, 2 cores, not 4) : all good.
US : Could you share your screen and show us ?
Client : Sure ! Shares his screen. Chrome is already opened. Refreshes the page, after 15 seconds, chrome : Would you like to stop script on this page ?”
US with mic on mute : “WTF?! It cannot happen here. It’s only a list of about 500 rows!”.
US : “Hello, could you open a tasks manager?”
Client : “ Sure, but I need to do it through here”
Some random VID interface popping up. Opens tasks manager with a beautiful “48 vCPUs detected”.
I have no idea how their virtualization is settled, but it seems to be messed up. Tomorrow going to be fun. I have a call at 9am to explain them their problem. Their IT will hate me forever.
If anyone has tips on Chrome through virtualization, please tell me.
EDIT : Yes 48. Not 4-8. It's not an error6
... no longer on call. Am on hour 12 of a call that has a few more hours to go and have handled 3 others today. Coworker is on hour 36 of a cal with possibly 24 more to go. And 3rd is finally eating as he missed meals all day for more calls than i can count. Who the fuck decided they hate us and want us to die these deaths????5
Was cleaning up some of the old files on my system and found the first ever raycast program I had written.. in c++
This was during a time im pretty sure all of you guys just like me learnt the things that you could possibly do using code.
The experience of the first time I ran this and saw the sprites appear was the awe all of us have experienced in our own ways.
The reason I found this picture interesting is many of us end up losing the wonder and sense of excitement that got us into development in first place.
Go back , clean up your drives .. find your old code. I'm sure there is no better feeling than looking at the past you , writing bad code , with a probably bad language on a bad editor with sleepless nights to get nothing more than the output we wanted.
It's amazing when you realise everything is better when it's simple.1
Despite all the great technology we have available to us, I still find a pencil and a sheet of paper to be among my most useful programming and debugging tools.
these backend devs,
please. dont touch the CSS.
you primitive animal. we use SCSS these days.
all of your changes will be overridden by us when we compile.9
We all know that being distracted while coding is frustrating. That's why me and my teammates (we are 3) we "protect" each other while on "full dev mode" - meaning anyone coming to disturb one of us while in that state, the other push him/her away.
The most productive 2 weeks of my life 😂😂1
Well that's indeed kinda funny
But I'd really like to know if it all had to do with Google Cloud Networking, because they had a failure of their systems in us-east1 for 25 hours and it fits the time in some way (https://status.cloud.google.com/inc...).2
My use of linux could legally drink now, in the US. And even after 21 years, I still love it more all the time.2
Non-technical manager who been managing my team for years: "hey can you take a look at this log?"
*log is all PHP*
Us: "we're iOS devs, none of us know PHP"
Manager: "well why not?"
HOW DO YOU GET PAID MORE THAN US4
PHP is the Fidel Castro of programming languages; after all Castro outlived five US presidents who ordered his assassination. And of course, like reports of Mark Twain’s death being exaggerated, it’s patently absurd to call a language that powers 80% of the web dead.3
I assume this only happen in my country (Malaysia). We have multiple inconsistent lockdown...
So most of us went from working in the office to Working From Home. During this time Our employers expects us to clock in to Zoom Meetings or Dingtalk meetings for 24 /7 , microphone must be turned on and camera must be turned on at all time, other wise it consider as a void(that means salary deduction, not consider working) .
Employers here have the mentality of ""IF I DON'T SEE WHAT ARE DOING WITH MY OWN EYE , I CONSIDER YOU ARE NOT EVEN WORKING.".
I'M sick of this shit tbh.11
Manager told all of us to leave at 5 instead of 6:30 because of Christmas.
Then he told us to work from home this Friday and take Monday off cuz Christmas is on a Sunday.4
The whole dev team moved onto the floor of a deserted office. Close to a deadline with a manager that wouldn't stop interrupting us, so we all hid in a place where we could get work done for a few hours.
And now they are threatening us... Brilliant!
- they refuse to sign a legal agreement with us [for our services]
- they only gave us a verbal promise they will pay for our services
- they revoke lots of our accesses
- another company is taking over their product we were hired to look after before. Now they demand us do things for them for free
- a few integrations are malfunctioning with premature EOF [while reading a response]. I had escalated this with the most throughout case analysis I have done in my entire life. Three times over the last 2 years. Explaining every single detail that needs to be done, how, by whom and how to interpret the results. Escalations went to their high level mgmt. And directly had been rerouted to /dev/null...
- now they asked us to fix this whole shit. For free ofc, they have no money to pay us..
- they begged
- when that didn't work - they started threatening to route all their customers' complaints to us and flood us with them
at first I was proud to work on their project. I didn't want to leave it when my manager asked me to. A national level project, making a difference for my own country. But now.....
that's gov, my friends. That's politics and power games.8
Today I was having conversation with my friend about time consumed in fixing errors. Our non coder friend was silently listening to us.
After we finished our lunch he stood up and said,
"You guys don't know how to handle time with efficiency. Why don't you ignore all the errors, finish your coding and fix all the errors in the end. It will save a lot of time"6
Fuck my life! For my studies at University it is required that I learn how to code... Over the past month I've been learning java, and yesterday a friend of mine has introduced me to Go. Now all I want to do is learn Go, meanwhile our Prof pushes us to learn switch-case and goto...17
I just realized something. So all of us here that rant seem to be way overqualified for our job.
Why are you still at yours?8
An iOS app which was basically a wrapper for a giant jQuery eForm.
~5000 lines of custom JS and it broke ALL THE DAMN TIME. A team of us worked on it for about a year and all we ever did was fix bugs. But the bug count never went down. The bugs just got replaced with more bugs.
Thankfully its not live anymore.
After the global thermonuclear war, all that will remain is cockroaches and jQuery.
I just want to make it clear to all of us here...
Not every goddamn thing is a bug from X or a bug from Y most of the time I, Us, We as programmers fucking make mistakes or don't know the issue because it's vague!!! IT'S NOT A FUCKING BUG!!!2
For the last 4-5 months the boss hasn't paid our wages complete. Since then he has promised over and over that he will pay all that he owes us, and we (most of us, anyway, the smart ones already leave) like fools believed in him.
The boss still is lying to us, the same lies over and over (i think he believes them himself)
YOU FOOL, NOBODY BELIEVES YOUR LIES, SHOW ME THE MONEY. DAMMIT!
I'll leave the job and very posibly sue him at the end of this month. Took me long enough. I'm not a smart man...5
At the first few meetings, told us they are giving sponsors to World Cup 2018 and we should totally talk about it loudly on media.
Then when we submitted our plan, they said things have changed and they no longer can mention about World Cup. We had to redo everything.
Now, they blame us that our service quality is so bad that we should learn from *some refernce* company. Said company is only talking about their sponsorship for World Cup.
Bought smallest package from us. Demand services greater than our largest package.
Gave us an information of a name spelled in "Barbu". We used that spelling and used it for various tasks in past few weeks. All approved by client.
Blamed us we are giving such a poor service that we cannot even spell "Babu" correctly this morning.1
"We've refactored most part of the code to follow best practice. Many of the unit tests are broken. Please help us to fix them all".
Me: Oh joy!!!5
I think I know now where "Pet project" got its name from: 1) Most of us would rather play with it all day instead of going to work. 2) As it grow bigger, eventually you'll have to shed out a couple bucks for it, and.. 3) Your PM would be FURIOUS if he caught you playing with it at the office.1
Working at my company for one year with two old 20 inch monitors. My boss asked my what would improve my productivity. I said give me two fucking huge and nice monitors. I got the approval that he ordered for all of us new monitors.
One of the support guys told me the we will get the monitors today. Yeah but that was two weeks ago..
Now all of us are only taking about new monitors.. kinda funny that you can get excited for hardware so easy. Love the IT <31
*client comes to us "please take care of our app, it's ugly and the previous devs made it all buggy, especially the Android version"
*we write code, analyze bugs, fix them, QA them
*we deliver a preview
*client only looks at the iOS app, doesn't give a flying fuck to the Android app1
Client: Hey guys! Let us start a bunch of projects that are all dependent on each other and expect them to deliver those on time.
Me: WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.
0: Monitors and Graphic's Cards become affordable for us poor graduates
1: Node bloat becomes a thing of the past with WA or has auto-minimize functionality to keep only essential code
2: North American internet companies all go out of business due to free super high speed infrastructure maintained by a trust of communities and elected delegates
not all "dev" related per se, but my current day to day gripes answered6
University makes us sign our documents electronically. What this means is that we're required to put pictures of our signature onto all sorts of declarations. Since none of the documents we "sign" this way are important it could be okay, but I don't understand why it's beneficial to encourage us to keep a photo of our signature on our computers, paving the way to identity theft.20
My best mate and I got invited to an Adelaide based Christmas do which they flew us to free of charge (we are from Victoria).
It was an open bar so we needed up racking up an alcohol bill just shy of $1000, in the end we wound up having some people who were about twice our age trying to 'debug us' if you will.
A month or so later they called up asking for us and it was the most awkward thing I have ever experienced (story is quite a bit longer but not all of it is savoury .-.)1
Best dev experience of 2017:
Being able to support my family with my work.
Knowing that all of us have health, vision, and dental insurance solely because of me.
Finally being able to give back to those who have helped me over the years.1
Apple please... I just love physical keys, and you just make a pointless touchbar...
I really don't know the position of a macbook pro. I guess mainly graphic designer or programmer will buy macbook pro, and the touch bar feature is a completely pointless to us.
Not to mention that you replace all the USB port to a really "popular type C USB"5
A few years ago we had a pm/senior developer join us and he became my superior. His portfolio was all Microsoft Dev examples and his only answer to any request was yes two weeks.
After a couple of months I had to leave the company because I was working 14 hour days to keep on top the work the muppet was piling up2
I got moved to a new team. My old team was truly agile, and my manager was very "off hands" and actually let us work.
My new team is an older team that practices a bloated abomination called SAFe Agile, and the manager gets into all the details to the point of removing autonomy.
Shoot me please.
Boy was I happy to see this when I opened devRant up.
So for starters, more group projects are necessary. Many reasons why. To begin with, it allows for more complex programs than getting some input and printing some shit out. It also develops interpersonal skills (I hate people too, but when you go out to look for work you'll be with them, so better get used to it soon). If a platform like GitHub is used, it's easy to track who did what, and see what each person in the group did, so it should be fairly easy to discourage lazy asses.
Beyond that, stop giving us half completed assignments and asking us to fill in a function/method. Yes, it will take longer. But one doesn't learn to program by doing the minimum required work, you've got to crash and burn a lot in order to git gud. So ffs, let us do all the work. We're like AI, we learn through reinforcement learning.
Stop giving us a spec to follow. We'll do plenty of that in the future, right now we need to make mistakes, not be held by the hand all the way. Let us do dumb shit so you can fail us and tell us our code is repulsive, and this other way was better. Explain why. That's how people learn, not by telling us what each function should return, what can and can't be used, etc. And if you can't come up with a scenario in which what you're teaching is useful, then maybe you're not teaching us the right material.
I'll leave it at that for today... But I'll be back 😈
Not at my current dev job, but I worked for a place that had us be On-call and if someone called we would all get an email telling us who was complaining, where the site was, the problem, etc.
This service was a 24/7 service.
Anyways one of my first times on call I definitely slept through like 12 emails throughout the night, and when I woke up the next morning I saw that the owner of the company had taken all 12 and resolved the issues.
I thought I was a goner for sure.
Mary Christmas to all of you and remember not to connect to production when you’re drunk.
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
(I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,
Companies! For the love of your peoples sanity give the developers of all ages worthwhile machines. If you send us to clients to develop iOS apps, send macs also 😤4
Rant time. So, me and a few classmates finally finished and handed in a website for a web development class a few days ago. Before we handed it in, we had a meeting with the professor to discuss what we still needed to do.
Us: Are we missing anything?
Prof: Nope. Looks good. Just make sure you have stylus implemented.
Us: Cool, thanks.
We got our grade back today. We didn't do as great as we'd hope, and here's one of the comments that the professor left us:
"You forgot to implement all of the CRUD operations. -4"
WHAT THE **** IS THAT? We asked you if we were missing anything, and you said no. You reminded us about stylus, which we looked at ONCE in a 13-week class, but you failed to remind us that we needed all of the CRUD ops?2
Got fired today due to one big cunt who just joined to sabotage all junior devs because his older than all of us, im dissapointed at how arrogant some of you old devs are, the good old days development houses used to be fun and young, i respect all of you with great heart but we are not trying to compete with you if we know knew tech better than you, times have changed, if you are still dumb about bootstrap dont hate on anyone but yourself. Grow deFaQuPndStopHating3
To all the devRant community:
After a lot of work during the last month, I finally got to release my first game on the App Store!!!.
I would appreciate any feedback! I will keep adding more content and releasing new updates based on your comments!
just had to jump through ALL THE HOOPS to get a kid some help in Canada from the US. I can't believe the bullshit involved in reporting child abuse when the victim's in another country... why is there no standard for that? Why does Canada have IP and phone number filters for reporting abuse? Long-distance abuse reports do happen, it's not unheard of at all, so why the fuck would you actively prevent that?3
How many of us would like windows phone to be back. Its an awesome os, no lag, almost has all the apps(i am watching netflix on it) and the best build quality.18
One of our customers is a minor telco, which has been taken over by a bigger one. Some of the customer documents, welcome letters and so on, are generated by our system.
First of all, the new owner wanted us to re-brand it all for free. Well, we didn't (maybe you understand). I wrote an offer for the whole package including some fixes, sums another 9000 $.
Of course, they have to discuss it now,they told me. But in the meantime - they seriously asked us to black the former company name by hand on each letter using a marker. No shit buddies!
Dedicated to Youtube developers who just happened to see us 500 error & some nice monkey joke. :)
I understand that all of you slaughered & only monkies left to fix site. 😁
I'm taking a computer sciece course for Java and I'm just getting into it. I have done other similar things but in different languages and one day the class was discussing the meaning of static and all of a sudden he stops projecting his screen and says one moment and I look at what he's doing and he's googling what to do like WTH your supposed to be teaching us not feeding us answers from google7
My biggest obstacle? Stupidity, laziness, willfull ignorance, procrastination.
Sometimes my teammates are the ones guilty of these things too. That, and impossible timetables, but that's par for the course for pretty much all of us.4
With all of us complaining about white spaces and this weeks challenge being to write a block of code...shouldn't devRant have a "tab" key on mobile?2
I love Phoronix and all but dammit some of the news are few days old. Yeah i get that its one guy and all but i think few of us should get their brains to work and maybe create something similar.
What do you think guys ?
BTW this is Haxk20.15
Meetings. I don't know how management people get anything done, but the time I spend in meetings counts completely opposite, in terms of productivity.
Our team talking with a Mr. KnowItAll...
Mr. KIA: What concerns me about this huge system transference is that the devs won't give us the JS scripts files decompiled.
Mr. KIA again: I'm also concerned about Win XP end of support...
Us seeing each other: WTF is going on?!? Where are the hidden funny cameras...
If you wanna pretend you know it all...you'll fail...
A humble dev never get humilliated1
Robocup Leipzig 2016. World competition.
After years of (mainly unsuccessfully) developing our robots we finally managed to place 3rd. Out of all the countries in the world only the Germans and Austrians managed to beat us, and honestly I'm perfectly fine with that. You guys have some really good devs :)5
Hi, I'm a 17 years old web developer (still in school, not from the us), is there any way that a guy like me will be able to find a job to start gain experience? I searched all over the internet, in upwork no one answer me when I try to contact them and the other all wants 1 or 2 years of experience or a degree...18
Boss: Let's hire a new person to help us recreate our website
Us: sounds good!
Boss doesn't hire anyone and starts the website on his own
Boss: I started the new website. It's in server X and the address is test.y.com. I also want all of us to work on it
Me thinking: great he just wants us to modify the hosted files like he does 🙄
Me: I'll move a copy to GitHub for version control.
Boss creates a backup folder on the same computer and folder path that the hosted files are on.
Someone please nuke that server so my boss learns version control like I've asked before. I think I'll opt not to work on a website where he and my other co-workers will just overwrite each other's changes because he doesn't want to learn to git 😑4
Stackoverflow started 8 years ago.
Is there no hope for us "noobs" to ever see the 'k' at the end of our points?
All these 100K + users and i'm over here rejoicing in the 48 points that I was able to muster up with some effort T-T7
My current internet provider....
WHY THE FUCK IS MY WIRED INTERNET CONNECTION SLOWER THAN MY PHONE ON WIRELESS! WHAT KIND OF FUCKING BULLSHIT IS THIS US ISPs I PAY YOU A SHIT TON OF MONEY SO YOU CAN INVEST IN INFUSTRUCTURE AND FUCKING GET ME GOOD SPEEDS! NOT FUCKING BLOW IT ALL ON YOUR EXECUTIVE BONUSES!7
At one of my previous gigs, the IT director was just some guy that dated the bosses daughter. When she inherited the company he went from entry level data analyst to his new director position. IF he decided to show up to work at all it would be at just in time for lunch, and then he'd head out shortly after.
This guy would ask for an estimate on development and then start the timer when marketing started working on the project. This would often lead to us estimating something like 4 months on a project, and then waiting on marketing for 3 of those months, leaving us with 30 days left.1
So, seen this when I just arrived at work earlier this week. Made me think of COD. 😂 We hear them frequently flying over us all day.
The company I work for used to be hosted on 3dcart. One day the site went down and their support couldn't tell us why. After over 24 hours of downtime they restored service but left 5 days of all records and customizations across the entire store, from the DB to the damn templates. Their support apologized for the outage blaming the disaster on a combination of hard disk failure and a bad update to their backup script. They were not willing to assist us in any way. We were forced to manually enter 5 days of orders (which gave them new order numbers and caused more problems), products and template changes, with order data coming from an internal email which was luckily CC'd on the order confirmation email. Thank God for whoever setup that CC, it saved our asses. In the end it cost our company thousands of dollars and 3dcart never composited us in any way.2
The three of us were all doing Java project for class. Within 5 minutes, we all merged our branches up to the integration branch, and everything broke.
Longest 2 hours of yelling ever. We took out all of the stops: git blames, reverting commits, the whole nine.
Turns out that someone accidentally pushed their .idea folder, which messed up everyone's system.2
"Web" Teacher wanted us to learn horribly outdated html in the middle of web2.0 wave.
HTML5 ? CSS3 ? nope.
No CSS at all, and longest part of the class was on the importance of prehistoric HTML doctypes.
Capitalized tags, tables, BGCOLOR attributes...
Like she scrapped everything on W3schools...1
Show your support for the FOSS community and help to save it from lying politicians
All kinds of support is very much appreciated.
Spent 2 days refactoring code written by our "offshore team". I've done refactoring on the same code in the past, probably upto about a week in total of refactoring now. The code looked like it was written by someone who had literally just finished their first "Hello World" app - loads of code blocks copied and pasted instead of declaring reusable functions.
The whole thing should have been done by us in the first place.
And yet our money-conscious company wants to employ more of these developers. Cheaper than us? Sure. Quantity over quality though, but I guess money is all that matters to the big cheese1
Company uses legacy "Web app" which only runs on an old version of Internet explorer. CTO told us to use a Windows VM since we have mac to run it. All for a website..... Ahhhh4
Why is there such a huge disconnect between the way people talk about work on LinkedIn and what it actually entails? All jobs come down to selling your time to stave off homelessness and hunger, and they all pretend there is something enjoyable in it, even for the lowest paid people. Salaries no longer buy us housing anyway. There is no point in any of this anymore apart from pure survival. Why do these idiots pretend their job is somehow different? It's not.7
You know what really grinds my gears?
Executive bathrooms. They get gold and marble and all kinds of fancy shit and the rest of us get a linoleum shit box. Who do they think they are? Are they too good to shit and piss with their developers. You know...the people who make the shit that makes them money?
Executives are just overpaid suits who do next to nothing while the rest of us carry their fat asses across the finish line and they are too good to take a shit with us common folk.12
we had that one teacher in the apprenticeship in the first year who taught us C. There were some people who already knew the language but most of us didn't and we had this one horrible test where we had to do some for and while loops with stars... Like generating something like this:
so most of rhat stuff we never learnt and he couldn't explain to us why our code wasn't correct and we all ended up getting really bad grades in that subject for something really basic -_- just because he couldn't explain it to us and test things we never had
I distinctly remember all of us discussing how we prefer to work at night. I worked through the night and now about to work through the day. Now it's all a blur and I feel numb inside. This voice keeps saying "you are just a machine" and then I wake up with qwerty stamped on my forehead and the music bringing me back. Time to work!2
Going through the conversation for xxxxth time with my business partner, why we will not launch a new product on top of pre-made PHP script / plugin.
Just got our company into TDD, and automated QA via CI server & code checks etc, PLEASE stop trying to drag us back into the land of spaghetti code & bug legions in production. That's all thxbye.
Fuck their closed API
Microsoft always steals your PRIVATE info, but is scared of us using their PUBLIC info
I can just use selenium and still have all the info I need
Then why the fuck would you close API to approved only
Can't you just track the traffic????7
*everyone bitching about a piece of software that everyone hates because it's awful, doesn't work, AND costs millions of dollars*
Me: Hey here's a solution that's basically free and gives us everything we need, and all of the enhancement requests
"Cool! We'll look into it for 2020. Keep working on it for a third of what you should be making though"
.. but we need it now??2
When you are italian but you want a laptop with a US keyboard....
... all the shop online (with less than 10€ of shipping cost) become empty.
So this group of students (mostly girls) from university approached us to make them a prototype app for their semester's project, we had a first reunion to know about the idea and what they wanted us to do.
All they talked about was the color and some minor design stuff, we still don't exactly know what we're doing since it was difficult for us to get them to actually define the requirements and what the app should do.
We were supposed to have a second reunion for us to show them some ideas but the day of the meeting they didn't reply any of our messages.
I'm not the kind of guy who gets upset easily, but if you ask us for help and then let us hanging not really knowing what to do with your shitty project, fuck you.2
During the "how to install WordPress" the professor tells us to use the root user of the database.... Wooooooo yeah! Let's get fucked!
And he never even notes to them "DON'T use root in production!"
I can just imagine every one of the 40 people in attendance that day wondering how their website could POSSIBLY get hacked...
And they are are going to entering the industry, some of them as freelancers from the onset, thinking all that is ok.2
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Fucking UCEPROTECT blacklist, who the hell blacklists a whole fucking ASN when they detect even a large amount of spam coming from it? For all they know, it could be just a couple of IPs. But nooooo, instead of blacklisting IPs, they blacklist the whole ASN, so now, even some of our machines are on the list, without us ever doing anything. Just because the IP is from the DigitalOcean prefix. UGH.2
GUYS; STOP THE VIMIPOSTS got like all of them in the small period I‘m checkin jesus christ lord save us23
So I had a manager who just up and quit with barely any warning. We were shocked! Turns out the guy had been shielding us from all kinds of crazy office politics that we were totally unprepared to deal with after he departed... We managed in the end, but it was not fun.1
Everyday I get on my train, get off and go into the office, get some coffee, and sit down at my desk.
Everyday, all of us take a Blue Pill, and focus in on this world they give us. We don't consider this a part of our life. Brushing our teeth, flossing, making breakfast, sleeping .. those are also not our life.
Life are all the other things outside of the routine.
But we spend more time in our routine. We spend more time in our loops than outside of them.
Brushing your teeth, making coffee, coding at work, eating, sleeping: these things are your life.
All those other things, they're the escape from it.6
This is for all of us confused, fighting the silly religious language wars
who is a software developer (close enough)
So please stop being an a**hole, stop using angry trumpscript and start solving real problems
Computer programming teacher wanted us to write some pseudocode to solve an algorithm just so we can practice writing some code and solving problems. The teacher needs a copy so I spent about 2 hours today rewriting all of that pseudocode because she wants it handwritten...11
And the stock market is plunging again.... Who gives a fuck....
It makes no logical sense? Unless someone wants to enlighten me... But I don't see much downside...
COVID kills us all => who gives a fuck about stock prices
COVID kills most of us => who gives a fuck about stock prices, aka pieces of paper. All the survivors will create a new society and either split the goods or fight over them. It'll be like Survivor... But real.
COVID goes away and doesn't do anything => great time to buy buy buy since all you idiots basically just gave me like a huge discount on stock prices. AKA a long overdue market correction9
ATTN: ALL DEVZ
I think we all should just band together and say FU! to all of these software companies and form one gigantic software corporation, steal all of their clients, and make them beg on their knees for us to help them. Not only that, make them go through a series of VERY stressful interviews (to see who deserves our time, of course) in which we simply say....."no" with no explanation. Bwahahahahhahahaha!!!
Wishful thinking.... 🤔4
Had to fix all bugs of my colleague this night because our client was not happy.
Before he joined us he worked as a database admin and now he wants to learn web dev and coding. But he did so bad mistakes like endless loops or requesting api 5 times.
In so tired now, happy when its christmas
Today's epic cringe was me moaning at my team on the Slack channel about people breaking the test suite, followed a couple of seconds later by TeamCity letting us all know that I'd just broken the test suite.1
It's so incredible that all of us are technologically able and can do so many things is because Brian Kernighan and Dennis Ritchie wanted to play the game they made and were just sick of all the software that existed
Do watch this video1
Yes, they given all of us plastic chairs for sitting 36 hr instead of been bag. Wow you can imagine the condition of our back. They also don't know the password which they created for guest...
So there's been a lot of rain lately, and it looks like the river next to our office might flood, which means if it does then we'll have to evacuate all our workstations.
Unfortunately, 90% of our office is currently out of the state on vacation or at a conference, which leaves only 2 of us to get everyone's stuff out..4
For all of our differences Tabs Vs Spaces, Emacs Vs Vim. There are two things that drive us. Computers and free promotional merchandise.1
At a previous company, we got stock options. My options wouldn't have made me a millionaire but it wasn't chump change, either.
For months, we went through the whole "we can't say we're going public but watch what you say" game.
One Monday, they called us down by groups to one of the large conference rooms to tell us paperwork was filed, that we were in a blackout period, and, oh, by the way, all those stock options were split 1-for-2 (half the stocks at twice the price.)
I really wanted to punch those smug motherfuckers when I watched them ringing the bell on the balcony of the NYSE.3
Back in high school we did a
net send to all with a message to turn off all computers for the next half an hour for maintenance. Lots of classes finished early due to this little prank, including ours.
They found out soon enough but luckily let us off the hook.
Month passed so I looked at job offers and I am tired again.
All of them look the same and all of them look like crap. Some require stupid online tests preparation ( cause everyone likes to traverse tree 10000 times a day ).
Seriously I think I will go to supermarket and work there.
It’s more pleasant then getting input and pushing it in some stupid places all over again.
Finding some shit in shit pile, then moving this shit pile back and forth between different shit holes.
AI should start writing this stupid code, robots should provide food and build shelter.
The sooner the better for all of us.1
Writing a small scale Ecommerce site for a friend. He keeps asking why I am writing tests for it all the time...some of us have standards3
Is it coincidental that the two most important keys that help us devs build our CVs, the C and V keys are inline on our keyboards? And look at that Ctrl key...That's what happens after too many rounds of copying and pasting...All hail Ctrl, C and V keys1
disclaimer i dont understand css to begin with so you can discard my opinion
You have all these options for width https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US... , but guess what none of them do anything different as you brute force try them all in the chrome debugger. Dunno what cascades except my butthurt
so fuck it ~1000% width works and has an ugly overhang, but fuck front end9
Today I've found code that was generating HTML of ```<ul><li>1. Item</li><li>2. Item</li></ul>``` and I'm seriously reconsidering all my life choices. Fortunately the guy who made this doesn't work with us anymore.6
Why do germans have to use STRG?
Im Swiss german and people often say to me use STRG!
Only that im speaking german isn't a real Argument! Why are we even using different keyboard-layouts?
Why arent we all using CTRL?
Its pretty mich the Standard for all keyboards!
And what confused me the most when er got Windows 7 machines at primary school!
I didn't know what fucking button to press until the IT Guy of our school came and explained US all that STRG was CTRL!
And the most worst of all, when german youtubers say Press CTRL in a Video but show STRG!
A new developer started working with us a few months back. Plenty years of experience, both front- and backend.
He was the perfect guy for the job, according to management. Two weeks ago he asked me what JWS Cookie I used to send my requests.
After a few minutes we realized that he meant JWT token.
Said developer is no longer working with us, he didn’t like all the new technology.1
One of the admins in our school is developing a digital class register. He already set up all the users but randomized the passwords to lock all students out. But he also implemented a password reset.
He was kinda pissed when he found out (the very next day) though. Now he locked us out again.
At least I can leave the school next year knowing that they'll get a sick new application
I'm working with a consultant group at my company to implement a new authentication strategy for our entire platform.
The senior dev lead from the consultant group has 25+ years consulting and claims to have written a web browser for the blind and all sorts of in-depth accessibility things.
Stakeholders tell us "Don't forget about accessibility compliance on this project"
Senior dev lead with all this claimed accessibility experience asks me, "What does accessibility mean?"2
I've thought of the perfect analogy for people who constantly interrupt us while we are coding.
It's like you're a mechanic and you are working on a complex engine. You're focused on what you're doing, your hands are filthy, and you're just about to fit the part in that you've been trying to fit in for the past hour.
Someone comes along and asks you to help them open a pickle jar in the middle of your work. So you have to stop what you're doing, wash your hands, and then help them open the jar. By the time you're done your focus has completely shifted, you lost all momentum, and your progress comes to a complete halt.
This is what it's like for us when you come into our office or call us to ask us a question that isn't important or urgent whatsoever. It's especially frustrating when it's the same question that has already been asked 100 times.
Project manager asked me to directly communicate with our client.
BUT, he told me what to say and what not to say.
BULLSHIT! All of these business "etiquettes" and formalities are just a waste of time for both the clients and us.
If only I could, I would simply cut all these nonsense and just communicate honestly.2
So there's this bulk messaging app named 100pins, generally used by institutes. And there's the eye sore.
I'm sure all of us have a working back button.
Recently changed up my keyboard and bought a US style instead of my usual UK style, but changed it in Windows so I still have all my keys where I expect them.
But how the hell do you guys live with the tiny ass enter button? My pinkie is bigger than it!
We were in the process of signing up an enterprise company. We sent them a spreadsheet requesting a list of all of their staff so that we can create user accounts for all of them. That dumb shit at the company printed out the spreadsheet and then filled out the printouts using her pen and then took a photograph of it and emailed it back to us.3
For Silicon Valley fans, all of us?, looks like they visited Google last week.
And now in additional to TED Talks, I need to catch up on Talks at Google...3
I just want to say to all the Indian managers that declined hiring me due to preferring some of their other countrymen and declining me visa sponsorships to US…
Fuck you and good luck with those visa wait times. Truly yours,
A pissed off me4
FUCK FUCKING FUCKBLERNUT
WHY MUST ALL THE NICE TECH ONLY COME OUT IN THE US OF FUCKING A
I WANT TO HAVE NICE TECH AND PAY WITH MY ROOTED PHONE
WHY THE FUCK IS THAT SO FUCKING BUG PROBLEM TO ARCHIVE
Developing in Haskell. Lecturer is assuming we all use Windows. Some of us are better than that...but only some.8
Building CMS for one of our client on demand. Young client seemed to be pretty upset, when we told him, that all the functionality including all the forms had to be build from scratch. He told us, he thought it is there in the computer "by nature" and does not need to be programmed.
A coversation with a classmate:
Me: So what tech stack do we use for this project?
Him: You guys decide... I'm fine with anything.
Me: So you're fine with any tech we use? No opinions?
(We need confirmation from all members but he, being the uninterested person he was, gave half-hearted replies)
Him: I'm actually a ROR person, not interested in node.
Dude we understand that you prefer ruby but at least help us decide! We studied all of this together... sheesh1
My C# teacher. From all the beginning CS classes that I have taken she is the only that I really respect. She took the time to teach us how operators work, took the time to teach us Pseudo code, and made us code using just a pen and paper. I bought my laptop (instead of a desktop) to code along her in classes. She would ask us how to solve something. Gave us like 5 min to think about it, and then we would answer it, and she would translate our solution to code making comments for us to fully understand what was going on.2
Everytime there's a bug for me, being English is the problem.
In the US, the spelling color is used to match the spelling of the word's Latin etymon, and to make all derivatives consistent (colorimeter, colorize, colorless, etc). Elsewhere in the English-speaking world, the spelling colour has been retained1
I'm sure all of us have felt like this at some point. I love this video
We had late night work... So our seniors thought of going out for drinks and asked us to join!!
We beeing the interns, bill was all on them ;)
During my undergraduate studies I had a Numerical analysis course. The lecturer is an old professor who was the dean of the faculty at the time, during all lessons he'd talk about his grand children and how the course is important to us the engineers. Not for a moment did he speak of the material it self... Came the test - 10 fucking questions of prove and solve in 3 hours. Had to learn the course from Indian fellows on YouTube...1
"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who'll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. ... All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself."
Motivation, inspiration... works for either.1
I finally attempted php, I wrote a bunch of scripts to fetch data... I feel like I have betrayed myself 😞😞😞
I should have just absorbed the cost of azure 😭😭😭 now am a php dev.... The things I'm about to do, the horrors I'm about to put out into the world.... Pulling your hair out will be the least of your worries, dear maintainer forgive us all, always and forever. 😳1
Anyone else get LinkedIn messages like this on the reg?
“Well, I wanna work with US clients but most of them want to work with US only developers.
Also, I think US developers' hourly rate is much higher than others.
So i hope to collaborate with you.
Well, If I explain in detail:
- We will apply for jobs on several job platforms.
(Angel, Dice, Indeed, …)
- If the clients require video/voice interview, you will do that.
- I will do all the tasks.
In this case, you are the manager, and my role will be the coder and tester.”9
My boss asked us all to do a 360 review of
Our colleagues. I HATE ratting on my colleagues, even though someone of them are rubbish programmers. He’s the boss, if he doesn’t know how to tell who the bad eggs are, why should I help? It’s not like it get paired for for helping him or get any shares if the company does well.
I won’t rat of my colleagues.1
We're talking about coding standards and someone on our team wants us to avoid the protected keyword because it allows for variable shadowing.
The lead architect wants to avoid levels of inheritance whenever possible; trying to keep only Interfaces and Implementations (and he names all of the Implementations with the same class name plus "Impl").6
Jesus our security infrastructure people are stupid. They are telling us to secure a service that we don’t want accessible directly by the role “member” setup to be accessible by “member”. All because they “don’t want us changing identities in the middle of a chain of web service calls”. They are like “don’t worry, the fire wall keeps them out”.
That’s like saying “here’s the key to the bank vault, but you won’t ever get past the security guards so it’s okay that you have it.”
I swear this company is stone stupid.
TIFU by running DELETE-INSERT on a live server and losing thousands of rows from a separate table. 🤤
TIL If you delete data from indexed table, it will affect any linked tables. I think. Fml. 🤕
At least it was a learning experience for all of us. Hopefully if I keep repeating it enough it will become true...3
Just thought the other day of something: AI devs are developing what will make their job useless, as AIs will be able to do programming. AIs will probably take over each and every job and we won’t have to work anymore.
They’ll eradicate diseases and we’ll live for quite a long time. When the basics needs will be completely fulfilled, their goal will be to make of the world a human paradise, with the goal in mind of making us happy and have no worries.
Then they’ll make it to the next level and plug us to a virtual world. It’ll be a paradise, an utopia and it will probably be like the 1st Matrix...
Or it may just not happen, but can we be sure of that… I’ve always laughed at people saying technology will end humanity, but now I realize that killing all of us is not the only way to end the humanity …7
Logged in this morning and looked at my calendar and our boss put two weeks of Out-of-Office on his calendar (starting day before yesterday when he was clearly in). He didn't mention this at all at the standup meeting yesterday. He already took a week off earlier this year, at the beginning of the current craziness, to work on his house, but at least he told us about that before he did it.2
I'm now caught in an infinite loop on this project. The tests all pass but the identical code on an identical Live environment won't work. The API vendor is saying it's our code's fault and they won't support us. The developer is ignoring my pleas for assistance because the client won't pay for more of his time as they consider this warranty work even though we warned them that this was a one-of-a-kind custom job with a risk of failure.1
So I posted a rant a few days ago about what all of us in here might consider to be a bug in the OneDrive iMessage app. Being a good sport, I went ahead and filed in a report for it. Little did I know OneDrive would've hit me with this. *face palm*
Link to the other rant: https://www.devrant.io/rants/4843133
"Instead of using languages we all master lets choose language none of us knows and lets use it to build our time constrained business critical platform. Don't worry about the fact we are about a year past deadline" argued leads of another project.
Yeah. About that...2
You know I am becoming a firm believer of us all walking to the houses of people with dogs
Squatting down on their front step and dropping a deuce and then pissing all over their fucking lawns and greenery!!5
Happy 1 of August to all Swiss lads on here. Let's celebrate by remembering the backlog of bugs some of us need to get fix by tomorrow.
Our company is a team of about 10 people; all of us are salary. One of our developers continues to come in at 10-11AM rather than the designated start time of 8AM. Instead of punishing this person for their tardiness, our boss wants to install a time-clock and make us all use it and make us hourly...3
I really hate all kinds of tattle that sweeps the hallways of corporations, the gossip behind one's back, BUT this colleague of mine starts pissing me off. Recently joined that team where he should support us getting the Agile thing going. And he can go on for hours of how it should go and how flawlessly it worked in his previous company - all that needless meta talk - so much that a team member jokingly even said: yeah, shut up asshole. But he is all talk. When the name of a library was dropped his experience in using it went to upstream patches. His Linux experience lets us speechless. He is so convincing, I'm even doubting my accusations. Yet his only contribution in code wouldn't show and other team member wasted hours upon hours to recompile plugins to show that shit. Man, just leave us alone watching your youtube live-streams so we can get the shit done.
i am becoming our companies excel advanced expert. actually i am just better at internet searching than the rest of us. creating fully automated sheets makes me wonder what all of the office stuff learned during their appreticeship and how they can avoid using office properly while entering everything manually.
I met 2 of my friends on the job, we we're on the same team. We supported each other. We drank a bunch. We all went out a bunch. Those 2 friends started dating. Then we all decided to be roommates, because why not. 5 years later, we're still roommates and none of us work at the company we started at.
I'm just glad that someone helped me do front end in an unrealistic deadline given to us in 2 weeks to finish a corporate-scope project .(2 of us working on)
Now that we realize that he made was another issue that leads to technical debt.
I will do all the refactoring and assure that it works perfectly fine.
Language targeted IDEs no longer serve as much of purpose in a space where most of us are working on client applications alongside a backend and whatever fleet of other services required. I’m not gonna run phpstorm alongside webstorm and pycharm. If they want to stay relevant, build an all in one with optional extensions. Charge per language extension if you must.18
This week's prompt implies most or all of us are "good" at programming, which... define the threshhold for this? Actually, before that, how do we QUANTIFY this?
also i'm shit at programming4
Image Voyager with it's golden record is found _now_.
How disappointed would an alien race intelligent enough to decode and understand the pictures on there (which - imo - show us as civilized as possible) be, coming here and find us just waiting do die because of shit we did by ourselves.
Hard to imagine an extraterrestrial race is in any way like us, but it's even harder to imagine them coming to us, maybe even hoping for peace, because they live through the same shit as we do - just to find more shit.
They didn't include war, poverty, disease, crime, ideology, and most important: religion in the pictures on the record. stuff that essentially made us who we are today but at the same time show us at our worst.
we know what's shit about our behaviour and we don't want to show it to aliens but we don't change them at all.
What annoys my the most in gaming, is when gamers refer to cheaters as "hackers". THEY AREN'T. They are SCRIPT KITTIES. I'm sure most of us here would consider ourselves hackers, and we can all agree that hacking takes time, motivation, and most of all, skill. Cheaters in video games are the lowest of the low. The just download and install scripts written by real hackers. This triggers me beyond words and all caps. What do you all think?7
I've gotta create a bidirectional communication protocol to link 2-3 RPis over GPIO. I have between 4-5 pins for TX and 45 for RX, so each directional bus is that wide.
Even better, I have to assume 4 bit bus length unless told otherwise, since 4 to 6 pins on the GPIO are usually used for serial/UART, COM and/or 1-pin communications (for use to get a console, not to throw data down.)
The best part?
Needs to be a Python library.
i wanna die6
This Capstone group blows. There’s five of us in total, and only two of us are actually doing work on this fucking Django application.
Seriously, how hard is it to use Git and GitHub? I assigned a single page to a group member.. and what does this fucker do? Sends me the .html file on Slack.
And all that page consisted of was TWO JUMBOTRONS. None of the functionality I asked for was there whatsoever.
These people are seniors in an engineering school. Fuckssake, get your shit together.
Good thing the grades are based on commit history.2
Team of 5 post-grad students working on a single big project for final grade. Been working on this project since last 3 months. 2 of the memebers of my team doens't even know what we are building and we have to present it in 2 weeks, their contribution is less than 5%. How do people not think that its a project for all of us to do and its fucking 30 credits when the course itself is 90. The professors have asked us to give feedback for each member privately and i dont want to give negative feedback about them as they will lose way too many points for it.4
Okay this is going to become an issue
With the speed at which we are developing software, there will be a time when there is no more coding left to be done and we will all be there doing tech support for everyone and will be so boring
Or, someone will develop an artificial conscience capable of developing software and all of us will be there sitting like we just got fired7
Another guy who doesn't even fucking know the spec of the device that asshole is holding, acts cool and fucking calls us nerds & losers (the devs due to whom all the coolness is possible with all those techs) and is so fucking dumb but gets the girls!!1
Is it just me or is the majority of all additional slack apps really just crap? Many cannot even be installed because the website is no longer available (WorkingOn as an example).
Not a single app really helps us in our workflow. I lost the interest to try more of them :(1
I just took it, self scored in Excel, got a 42.
Seems about right to me and I guess all of us here would score around this... but interested if any got 72/72 or a negative.
Problem with product team meetings is that software talks for 4 minutes maybe out of the hour but then gets assigned all of the work. Then get yelled at because we didn't do any work while they were assigning us all the work. I hate meetings.1
I’m afraid that some day, services will come along that destroys the need for actual programmers. That all of us will simply be stuck at work, drag & dropping these new software solutions in place.7
Last week I had a meeting to get us all on the same page for today's prep meeting... Tomorrow we have the actual meeting to be followed two hours later by the meeting review meeting... Culminating in decisions that drive the direction of a set of upcoming meetings... Which will all have prep meetings and some have further review meetings...
I'm so excited...2
To all android Devs who used to or still change Constraint layout as the root element of the view despite Google forcing it on us.
Your time is near....
I can promise you all this... Artificial Intelligence’ silicone valley... will not be in California, the industry will be in west Michigan... instead of the and valleys beaches of California it will be the hills and lake shores of Lake Michigan... true artificial intelligence of the movies will be “born” there. The liberal developers and hipster coders can stay out in California.. while the rest of us will be over her in Michigan. I promise you this will happen, give it 10 years9
Alright, it's before our midterms in second year PU. Our teacher tells us to teach an entire chapter on databases ourselves and splits us up into groups to teach parts of it. This isn't uncommon. In our college some teachers would give out printed notes written by themselves for particular chapters.
Our CS teacher tells us to write our own printed notes for the DB chapter and distribution among ourselves and assign the task to the same groups. Not many of us refer printed notes anyway (especially CS) so we just copy out stuff from our textbook and put in a Word document we're supposed to submit to him...
Goddammit ... The guy takes the file and then goes full fucking retard. Forces everyone to PAY FOR A COPY OF THE NOTES WE FUCKING WROTE and tells the class rep to inform if anyone doesn't take a copy. He then tells us that the money is going to the college meal program and if anyone has a problem they can ask him for the receipt.. Donate to the program fine and all but he could have told us before hand and he still forced us to do it and no one ever asked for the receipt because we guessed he was bullshitting us.4
The mainland US is currently record-cold for overall, some states are as low as -70°F. 3/4 of US schools are closed. Except mine. It's -15°F here, coldest ever, and we're open. God forbid it flurries, though, then it's impossible to open the school!
My dad grew up in Alaska, so he thinks we're all pussies. Well... it's currently 37° in Anchorage, so it's warmer there than ANY mainland state!!! And we're all "pussies".
Seriously fuck react native, google wants us to upload 64bit apk's and i spend a fuckton of time updating to the next version then i manage to produce the smaller 64bit apk's and now they won't start because
What the actual fuck. even with all that info we havnt managed to fix it as the human race.1
project need to be present next week.. we've already done nothing.. all four of us really did a good job..2
We're remediating tls issues on production servers. gotta be pic compliant. It's been an hour and a half for one server and were not even close to done... we have at least 5 more to go for this particular app... my organization controls over 300... the company has thousands... for the love of god save me.5
should i update to macOS sierra
, can we make this post as issues that developers facing with the new update and by developer i mean not only mac developers but many developers work on mac so if there is something failing from them please comment
i think this will be useful for all of us4
3 days of workshops with new client done - happy days😊
Now starts the real project and the possible agony of dealing with all the things they forgot to mention and/or priorities to us🤘🏻🖖🏻1
Happy New Year to my awesome new family on devRant! Cheers to a successful year for us all, take care of yourselves!1
Getting tired with the assignments being thrown at us especially the research paper type. The lecture just give us the topic, expect us to complete and submit it. Voila, here's your mark. I'm tired of chasing marks for cgpa instead of for the sake of knowledge. The fact that my scholarship is dependent on the cgpa really stress me out. It also didn't help that all the lecturers are only concern with completing the modules. The fact that I'm a kinaesthetic learner just make the whole learning experience a hell. Memorizing theories for the tests are the worst. Is it so hard to be able to learn happily while still provoke critical thinking? The education today is so monotonous.
When a customer decides they want half of what you delivered last time and half of something new to be used at the same time.
Ah, I think that'll take us a year to make that mess work!!
Makes me want to scream!!!
(all comes about because they're not happy with the original thing - does exactly what it needs to do to specification)
Please format issues and PRs correctly. As an open source maintainer it's already hard enough to respond to all of your demands.
But when you make an issue with the title of "error in app.js" with NO DESCRIPTION, and then think you're entitled to ME FIXING IT?!?
Please know that we do this for (mostly) free, and try to make our lives easier by giving us a detailed description of what is going on.
Not a rant..
I recently made a chrome extension to manage tabs...
Made it for myself first but I know all of us have this problem of having tabs to the extent that even the favicons become invisible.
Feedback and suggestions are welcome guys!!
Spent 4 hours playing the role of a designer and crafted some great UI and showed my fellow Dev's and we were all in agreement to implement.Eight hours later our lead designer crafts a totally new look that my boss is so into forcing us to redo the app
Lesson learnt keep your lane1
Anyone know of an app for traffic generation/speed test of private networks for Android? Want to see how my network's doing1
I approach programming with a lot of resentment since I am aware that all of us can have MAJOR fucking shifts in the way we do shit from one year to the other.
Let them find out about a different kind of architecture which uses fart propulsion as a form of interpreting machine code and everything becomes absolete.
And then we are only left with FartScript(Oracle TM)
There would still be node though(he he)
So there was this position in our college for part time programming/building a project. Being university students looking for part time work a lot of us applied there.
Finally the person that was selected among all of us was the person who does no work and is completely useless. If you ask her to do something she despite taking a long time doesn't produce any output.
So my question is what did the interviewers see in her that they selected her despite multiple way better people applying.4
I'm so damn tired of being asked to set up "QC's" to check for data our client is supposed to be sending and alert them when it's considered "past due". Our customers pay us to manage and analyze the data they send us. If they don't send us data, that's their problem. Why all of a sudden is it my job to micromanage these people and remind them how/when to do their job?? I'm having enough trouble juggling all of the shit on our side of customer requests, but now I have to worry about making sure they handle the shit they are responsible for on their side?
Otherwise, if we don't remind them, then they yell at us like we dropped the ball. "Why didn't you tell us we didn't send you that data that we told you we were going to send!?"
But seriously. I get it. It's good customer service. And I'd rather someone alert me if I had a process break that was supposed to be sending data on a regular basis and I didn't realize it wasn't working how I intended. I get it. I'm just venting. I'm honestly more worked up about my ever growing backlog that I am never going to get caught up with at this rate.
GOOGLE.. GOOGLE..Imagining a phone without google services is just insane,Contrary to that GOOGLE is one such company which has all it's user's information-the time we surf,watch videos,the type of video we watch at what moment,our contacts,location,reads our mail too,knows our complete device... Directly or indirectly it knows all our activities more than us.....
check ur activity...at
so management implements SDLC. finally. but here is the snag... none of the environments are setup for any developer , integration or uat testing. now all the while business keeps pushing changes knto us and making us try work miracles. anyone else have this hell of communication from the high holy management above not listening to developers concerns ?
And so this morning we put aside our usual daily activities for a while, and gather here to give expression to the thoughts and feelings that well up in us at this time of loss.
And also because in one-way or another,
GitHub's sudden acquisition
Affecting all of us.
Please raise your glasses as we drink a toast to the memory of such a splendid tool, that we know without a doubt, will never be the same as we know it right now.2
The dude that told us to use BEM is the same one that set up CSS bundle limits. Of course 10k isn't enough when all our classes are called big-button-right__small-thingy-over-there--bit-on-the-left and have styling in a dozen files.3
Entering 2021 strong with more knowledge and more experience 💙💪
2020 was a year of learning.
It taught us the value of time, to believe in ourselves, to make the best use of what we have, not take anything for granted and always keep learning.
Only then we can overcome our biggest fears
Wishing you all a very Happy New Year 202110
Someone from QA just randomly started asking me about API requests and responses today. For our backend which is not actually an API and changes all the time without notice. They just like, casually wanna know the contract of every endpoint on that.
So after having a heart attack thinking my coworker got spear phished I find out QA has decided to start testing our backend without telling us let alone asking us if it's a good idea.2
Best coworkers I had on my last project. I learnt from all of them and we were a large team but we all had a holistic view on how software should be made and the standard of quality that we should meet. It was great just a shame management above us didn't realize what they had and ruined such an incredible team.
I recently got hired on as a contractor to help the company take ownership of a vendor's product.
In one of the repositories that was delivered to us, at the root level of the repo is only src/ and .gitignore
Everything else, including package.json, .npmrc, .docerignore, and everything else, is all inside the src/ directory.2
#serious inputs needed
I need help identifying that one big problem that all devs face. Irrespective of the language, domain, etc.. And I wanna solve it. I need your inputs on what bothers you the most, and what tech you work with.. Then we can upvote the comments that are applicable to all of us.. I'll setup a github once we come to a conclusion2
Visual studios default is 4 spaces. None of us current 3 out of 4 developers have changed it. And no past developers have used anything else.
But this one guy...
I can't modify this file without indentations fucking up all over the place.
Spend few days to make reasonable profile on angel.co to get some job. After few months and hundreds of applies only few shitty responses for free work. Probably all recruiters are US based and see I'm from Europe so my e-cv goes right to e-shredder instantly. FML.
Just had full day of meetings as the only person who knows how this large application works is leaving tomorrow, the client has just given us a list of all they stuff they want done by Tuesday including releasing the person who is leavings half finished database changes involving renaming half the tables...
This is going to go badly2
At a job ten years ago, I had a manager who thought it would be a good idea to lock us in a meeting room all day with a 45 page BRD reading it line by line and analyzing what each line means until everyone was on the same page.
Every time I do an agile project without a BRD I think of her.1
So, towards the end of a particularly disruptive Sprint, the Product Owner Manager, who asked for A3 pictures explaining the flow to him and had multiple meetings with us and business and rewrote a spec of something already in development and changed priority of stories, wants to know... what is taking so long and business wants all these changes next week.
What if parallel universe is real and all of us are just a copy of one person with a small differences just like parallel universe.
Food for thought17
I really believe we are heading towards a software armageddon. The amount of shit code in live apps and applications will fuck all of us royaly. Order your preferred horse size dildo today and start training your ass.3
Traitors to all souls everywhere!
Listen all you boards, governments, syndicates, nations of the world, and you, powers behind what filth deals consummated in what lavatory.
To take what is not yours, to sell out your sons forever. To sell the ground from unborn feet forever.
Are these the words of the all powerful boards and syndicates of the earth?
"Don't let them see us! Don't tell them what we are doing!" "Don't let us pay"
These are the words of liars, and cowards, and collaborators and traitors. Traitors to all souls everywhere!
You on the board, who want others to pay for you. With your deals to take what is not yours!
!very important question to all of us. lets share our earning. its simple because "anonymous". 10€/hour for me, for example.6
Reluctantly thinking of switching to a PM role so i could focus all my code-fu to my side projects!!
what do u guys think? i know most of us hate PMs, but they do get paid more for what i think is less work (mental focus wise).
they say internet is spoiling us. sitting outside on saturday afternoon sipping beer and calling all my frns in different countries and none of them picking. fml. seems I made many frns.2
The 'geniuses' at Business doesn't seem to figure out why all of their systems turn out to be dogshit and outdated within a year or two.
Its because they don't even involve developers/IT into ANY of theirs decisions.
It's kinda like the patient telling the brainsurgeon how to do their job.
Hey, I get it. We are a bunch of antisocial wizards conjuring black magic at our computers all day. I would stay the fuck away from us if I were you aswell, but please for the love of Cthulhu, let us in on your great plans and amazing decisions before assigning blame.
Th3 h3ckerz at IT1
This is no rant, its just a sincere question.
any of you got a good upbeat playlist on youtube you can share for us to listen to while coding...
?? for now i listen to Frog Leap Studios ... Guys amazing9
how many of us really do use the mouse as often as we can ? or to put it another way... how many miss the days of just being very productive with keyboard shortcuts ? i find it very annoying with the mouse hindering my progress.... but then again i cant remember all the shortcuts...8
Our prof told us we could goof off for the rest of the afternoon.
So we deauthenticated clients from every access point our antennas could pick up.
We all gave each of our best evil laughs, but the prof's was just too on point, we cant help but to burst out laughing.
Yeasterday I sat in meetings all day alternating between talking about work that needs done to fix something, and listening to people talk about things that don't matter to me.
Today I plan on doing the same.
My impediments are my PM and the abomination of waterfall processes he forces on us and claims are a "scaled agile framework".
Yesterday, I came across one of the blogs of Sindre Sorhus named: Answering Anything & Everything
One particular thing I am glad I was introduced to was Ludovico Einaudi. I don't know if many of us here know him or not. This was the first time I was hearing his music and they all are amazing.
Guys listen and code, you will be amazed.
Ok , so about #wannacry project all we need is group of good programmers and ethitical hackers even black ,any way who wanna join us ? Lets make money3
Attends Game Jam, gets placed right next to esport event speakers, and apparently it's an open game jam where People can come watch us.. We have to use Defold which none of us have used, which makes us All look as idiots.. What the fuck, also the host arrived 2 hours late because he was hungover...
There'sa small group that reads every docs and them answering all of us in stckoverflow
Someday I'll be on that group
I am absolutely HYPED about the Fujitsu Lifebook UH-X. 634 grams, 1080p, and look at all of those ports! It'd be perfect with Linux on it, for web development.
When is it coming to the European/US market?!10
Obligatory !rant, I had been I think about 6 jobs. My current job is still new to consider best/worst boss yet but in my entire career, my old job was the best boss ever. Looked out for all of us, care for us, fought for us, pushed us to do better and rewarded us for being exceptional. Unfortunately I left because of upper management's stupid decisions for financial reasons. I won't go back for my old job but I wouldn't mind working for my old boss again.
Happy National Backwards day January 31 (in the US) So for today all of us left handed dyslexics are correct 😁
leonardo da vinci used to write from right to left and wrote his letters backwards. The earliest cipher I can think of.2
Throwing mails here and there, then after a week, youre asking me to resend it to you? Cmon, can you at least check your mail once a day, all of us are busy here. Me finding a previous mail is almost worth a dev module!
Business Manager loses internet connection, panics and everyone calls over the two programmers to sort it out all of this while we're converting 7 pages written during the caveman days under direct command of the CEO... We call the head of IT (who had never been in IT before) who couldn't know much less about programming and he bitches to us about the importance of his work, which is basically sitting on his ass doing inventory1
Little did we all know how much a life of throwing things together at the last minute would prepare us for this industry
So how many generations of the same people are you raising simultaneously or are you people killing them in between passing all of us off as younger than we are ? Just curious
Wonder just how much of a group of monsters you all are since I’ve seen counting on 5 duplicates this far with periods of amnesia in between24
I learned to program in community college where they had us learn C# but I honestly didn't catch the programming bug until we had to do assembly language. I just found it fun to break what I needed to do into 's,mall steps and at the end I get to see the result of all that Work!
Let us all have a moment of silence for the wasted lines used for individual variable declaration... we were so young and so dumb... YOU ARE IN A BETTER PLACE NOW!!!
My CS (theoretical foundations of computer science, specifically) professor is currently teaching regular expressions... Has been for three weeks. Same thing over and over. All of his examples involve using regular expressions to parse HTML. He just told us to write a script (using Perl-style regex) that would recursively find and follow link tags in various websites. Just... no...1
But how about those spinal disc injuries we start to suffer even at the age of 30 by sitting at the desk all day? Zero gravity chair my ass during that expensive training session in the gym after disc operation! Is that whats waiting for us at the end of the vpn tunnel?
Why the hell do clients are so confused all the time. Each time we make them understand something, clarify things they come up with something completely out of the world and starts crying as to how will this help us and how will this work? Sometimes I feel like the clients have gone completely batshit crazy.3