Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
During a random school project.
Me: *Explains why team members idea is bad*
Team member: *Im going to do it like this anyways.*
Me: *add explaination of why idea is bad to git commit log.*
1 week later: some parts of the project dont work like they are suppost to.
Team member: *dude can you help me bla bla....(encounters issue i mentioned regarding his idea)*
Me: *no, i've already got too much on my plate. please, sort it out yourself....*
At the presentation
Teacher: *ask question about problem*
Team member: *tries to blame the problem on me....*
Me: *shows git commit log to teacher*
Me: *passing grade*
Team member: *failing grade*
Justice served.27 -
Dev: this task is done, can I put it in review and do something else?
Me: sure, of course.
Dev: cool, just be aware I'll make some changes to it later.
Me: ... wait, then it's not done.
Dev: no it is, I just need to re-read it and make some changes.
Me: yeah, so it will be done when those changes are made.
Dev: but I don't know what those changes are.
Me: ... I get that ... but ... ok I'm extremely confused. Why do you think it's done.
Dev: because I've written everything I need to and I'm happy with it.
Me: ok so why do you want to make changes.
Dev: I don't.
Me: ... ... ... ... you ... you are really not being clear. If you don't want to make changes, and you are happy with it, why are you planning on making changes later ... after marking the task as done.
Dev: well if I re-read it and see something I don't like, I would like to change it.
Me: ok, so re-read it as many times as you like and make as many changes as you like. But don't mark it as done until it is done.
Dev: but it is done.
Me: no it's not.
Dev: it is, look.
Me: ... yeah looks ok at a quick glance.
Dev: ok so I can mark it as done?
Me: are you going to make more changes?
Dev: yes.
Me: then no.
Dev: why?
Me: BECAUSE ITS NOT DONE.
Dev: ok maybe I'm not explaining it clearly.
Me: ... we can both agree on that. Ok so to summarise, we don't mark something as done until we have stopped touching it. We don't half finish something and say it's done and comeback to it later. We mark it as done when we are happy with i.....
Dev: but I am happ.....
Me: *raises hand* I repeat, if it's done, we lock it away and stop touching it. If someone reads it and complains, we can come back to it with a new ticket. But it's not done until we think we are ready to send it on.
Dev: I am ready to send it, I just may want to change it.
Me: ... ... ... ... ... due to a new policy implemented just now, we are only allowed to send 1 email to a person each week. So unfortunately we can only send on 1 copy. So when you have that 1 copy, let me know.
Dev: ok, let me re-read it a few more times then.
Me: there you go.32 -
That moment when you make your code such that even dummies can understand it, implement smart ass algos, do all those comment line things for definitions. Then you show your project to your teacher who has this to say :
"Why are you showing me copied code?"
I am like
10 -
I’ve been told my rants are being missed, since I left my hellhole of a job. So here’s a filler until something major goes wrong.
Right so here’s what my life is like at the minute. I’m working remotely from home. So this morning, instead of spending 2 hours in traffic, I got up at a reasonable hour and brought the dog for a walk. I don’t know who these people think they are, fucking up my routine like this. The audacity of them thinking it’s no big deal really pisses me off.
I’m the only iOS developer in the company. Normally I get bombarded with “why not use react-native” or “RxSwift is the future” and other shitty tools. Last week I said “i’d like to do X this way”. Do you know what those absolute bastards said to me? You ready? Hope you are sitting down ... they said ... “ok, sounds good” .... the fucking c***s.
Oh oh and the big one, wait for this now. Fridays are demo days, last Friday I showed what I was working on. Afterwards the CEO comes along, stares me in the eyes and without a care in the world what his comments might do to my self-esteem the fucker says “wow great job”. He fucking makes me SICK!!!
Feels good to get all that off my chest. I’ve missed venting. At this rate, I’ll be back very soon!9 -
I actually hate this job, seems like there's not a single project with decent code abstraction. Everything is a fucking spaghetti like:
```
// we only care about e-mail fields, which are odd
isValid(index) {
if(!(index%2)) {
return true;
}
...
}
```
Like MOTHERFUCKER, WHAT BUSINESS RULE DOES THIS SHITCODE REFLECTS?!?! WHY CAN'T YOU SHITHEADS WRITE PROPER BUSINESS ABSTRACTION RATHER THAN JUST COLLEGE-GRADUATE QUALITY SHITCODE.
FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY I SHOULD HAVE INSTEAD BECAME A PSYCHIC CAUSE I'M SURELY GOOD AT GUESSING WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK THIS FUCKING FUCKCODE INTENDS TO ACHIEVE.
AND YOU CALL YOURSELF TOP-NOTCH DEV CAUSE THIS IS JAVASCRIPT... YOU KNOW WHAT, SHITHEADS LIKE YOU, WHO DON'T KNOW SHIT OTHER THAN GLOBALLING EVERY FUCKING NPM LOCAL PACKAGE IS WHY GOOD ENGINEER LIKE US GET SHIT FROM PHPEPSI ZENDFRAMESHIT FUCKHEADS DEVS.
DO YOU THINK YOUR COMMENT WAS HELPFUL??? DO I LOOK LIKE A BUSINESS GRADUATE FUCKTARD WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THE MODULE OPERATOR IS??? I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU WROTE THAT SHITFUCK INSTEAD OF WHAT IT DOES; THE REASON I'M READING YOUR POORLY WRITTEN MODULE OPERATOR SOAP-OPERA IN THE FIRST PLACE IS CAUSE I KNOW WHAT IT'S DOING, IT'S BREAKING SHIT.
OH AND ONE MORE THING, FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK FUCKSHIT SHITFUCK FUCk11 -
Dear Google OAuth,
you might hate me since i spammed you the whole day with access token requests.
But this is all your fault. Because you never gave me ONE SINGLE SHITTY TOKEN!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS "BAD REQUEST" ERROR MESSAGE?!
You're a rich as shit company with thousand and thousands of employees.
OAuth is one of your essentials cause it handles the access to all your services.
So why the hell i cannot get some smart errormessage to debug my shit.
You are like my gf, when she is mad at me and does not tell me why. But even she is a lot easier to debug!8 -
Fuck MatLab. Fuck Mathworks. Why the fuck do I still have this fucking piece of shit on my computer? Even its logo makes me want to puke.
You think JavaScript is bad? Try MatLab, JavaScript will look like a saint.
You are still virgin? Try MatLab, it will fuck you hard.
Give me one fucking engineer who has to use MatLab and love its nonsense, I dare you!31 -
I can't watch others use a computer.
That's not how you ask google a question.
You're clicking the wrong way.
You click like an idiot.
Why are you scrolling like that? do you hate moving down the page so mutch it makes you scroll like that?
Why am i forced to sit through this?
When will this end?13 -
Smart India Hackathon: Horrible experience
Background:- Our task was to do load forecasting for a given area. Hourly energy consumption data for past 5 years was given to us.
One government official asks the following questions:-
1. Why are you using deep learning for the project? Why are you not doing data analysis?
2. Which neural network "algorithm" you are using? He wanted to ask which model we are using, but he didn't have a single clue about Neural Networks.
3. Why are you using libraries? Why not your own code?
Here comes the biggest one,
4. Why haven't you developed your own "algorithm" (again, he meant model)? All you have done is used sone library. Where is "novelty" in your project?
I just want to say that if you don't know anything about ML/AI, then don't comment anything about it. And worst thing was, he was not ready to accept the fact that for capturing temporal dependencies where underlying probability distribution ia unknown, deep learning performs much better than traditional data analysis techniques.
After hearing his first question, second one was not a surprise for us. We were expecting something like that. For a few moments, we were speechless. Then one of us started by showing neural network architecture. But after some time, he rudely repeated the same question, "where is the algorithm". We told him every fucking thing used in the project, ranging from RMSprop optimizer to Backpropagation through time algorithm to mean squared loss error function.
Then very calmly, he asked third question, why are you using libraries? That moron wanted us to write a whole fucking optimized library. We were speechless at this question. Finally, one of us told him the "obvious" answer. We were completely demotivated. But it didnt end here. The real question was waiting. At the end, after listening to all of us, he dropped the final bomb, WHY HAVE YOU USED A NEURAL NETWORK "ALGORITHM" WHICH HAS ALREADY BEEN IMPLEMENTED? WHY DIDN'T YOU MAKE YOU OWN "ALGORITHM"? We again stated the obvious answer that it takes atleast an year or two of continuous hardwork to develop a state of art algorithm, that too when gou build it on top of some existing "algorithm". After listening to this, he left. His final response was "Try to make a new "algorithm"".
Needless to say, we were completely demotivated after this evaluation. We all had worked too hard for this. And we had ability to explain each and every part of the project intuitively and mathematically, but he was not even ready to listen.
Now, all of us are sitting aimlessly, waiting for Hackathon to end.😢😢😢😢😢25 -
This can annoy the hell out of me. When people ask me if they can have your Facebook or whatsapp or something and I'm like 'sorry I don't have that' and they ask why and you explain because privacy reasons and they go like 'oh you're a little paranoid are ya?'.
There's a motherfucking big difference between wanting control over your data as much as possible and being paranoid.
Fucking hell.30 -
Real Story:
Manager: You have to add an extra section in the app to show more details.
Me: We are already showing so many unnecessary details. These changes are not required.
Manager: No !! You have to do it.
Me : Ok !!! So why can't we show it in the section where we are showing the other details. Why make a separate section for it.
Manager : No !! It won't be clearly visible to the user. Just do it.
So I added another section to show useless information that we are already showing it f**king everywhere else in the app.
So I released a new apk next day with the added features.
In meeting, our CTO goes through the app and ask manager....
" Why we have added an extra section for showing same details that we are showing everywhere else ???
Who approved this ?? This is nonsense !!! "
Here comes the fun part.
Manager : I don't know. I didn't ask for it. These changes were not there earlier.
And ask me.
"Who told you to make these changes ? "
I am like... F***k man you a***ole told me to do it even when i told you it will be nonsense.12 -
Client: why hasnt anything been done for the new site?
Me: because you never paid for the last one thats been put into production
Client: yeah but that was a smaller simple site. I need this one up and done already
Me: it'll be worked on when I get paid for my previously worked time for you.
Client: but that was a month ago. I don't understand why you are asking for payment now
Me: because you never paid me for last months work!!
Client: but its may now
Me: holy shit, -clients name-, I know very well what month it is and dont need a lesson. I also know better than to work for free. I have bills to pay just like you and everyone else so until you have paid the last invoice, I'm not lifting a finger for you. That includes answering your calls
Client: oh well why didnt you just say that to begin with
Motherfucking fuck people are horrid and dumb and make me violent6 -
I'm so fucking done with all those "woke" YouTube programming tutorials like: "Why you should NEVER use else statements", "Why functions should ALWAYS return a value", "Why switch statements are actually EVIL" and stuff like this
I swear to fucking god26 -
Dev : Every user in your organisation requires their own username and password...
User: Why?
Dev: Because if everyone uses one account, every note, product, message etc made by all the user's will be saved to that one account and confuse the he'll out of everyone using it when they can't find their 'own' information they made/captured/downloaded.
We just need the user emails.
User:We can't give you all the user emails just use one account ....
(The reason for not providing us the emails is purely cause it would require user to do work and that's out of the question)
Dev: Uhm ok, but this is not what you want, and *interrupts*
User: It is what we want, do it like that everyone will understand and it will make the system easier.
*Two weeks later*
User: Why is there only one account? Why doesn't everybody have their own account? This is not what we wanted.
... The shit you have to deal with when you are on holiday ...6 -
Why
Do
LinkedIn motivational
Posts
Look
Like this?
Why are you
guys making me
fucking
unfollow you?
So I have 600 LinkedIn contacts.
Most are recruiters.
So my feed is flooded with recruitement rants.
And success stories like this:
How they hired the guy who had
A 10 year gap in his employment.
Because they had to take care.
Of their sick pet hamster.
Hiring him was one of their best decisions.
He was a stellar employee.6 -
Roommate: I thought you aren't into social media...
Me: This is devRant, it's different.
Roommate: How so.
Me: It's for like minds, very well structured and has this fun feature which let's me create myself as a cartoon for my profile pic.
Next Day..........…......……
Me: (walks into the room) Why are you laughing and why are you using my phone.
Roommate: I THINK I LOVE THIS APP. I might actually download it.
Note: Roommate is a musician who studied CS in school.7 -
OK! all you windows haters.
This is why i totally love windows to death.
it has awesome features no other OS has...
like, installing updates to office and Skype when they are not even installed, there's not even a registry entry anywhere for them!!
now show me another OS that updates non existing software and ill be all over it!
On a serious note, does anyone know how windows would think office and Skype are installed since I can’t find a single trace of them anywhere?
25 -
Didn't want to post it as there's been already a lot of posts like this. But I just can't help myself to rant over this. This happened yesterday. I helped him earlier with his phone.
Friend of my dad: Hey, I need your help with my laptop I bought from eBay.
Me: *flashbacks of devRant posts*
Him: Everything works. It's just that nothing comes up in display.
Me: Okay, you need to take that to a repair shop. If at least something came up on screen I could help.
Him: Aren't you a computer engineer? I bought this because I knew you can fix it.
Me: *more flashbacks*
Him: You gotta help me with this. I can't lose money on this
Me: You didn't even ask me anything before buying. Ask your buyer if they have a 30 day return policy.
Him: Why are paying this much to study Computer Engineering? I'll talk to your dad.
This people man. I told my dad and he never received his call anymore7 -
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. I SPEND HOURS INVESTIGATING INCOMING & OUTGOING DATA. I CHECKED ALL THE CODE, I EVEN TEAMVIEWED A CUSTOMER WHICH WAS HAVING SOME ISSUES WITH MY APP.
TURNS OUT I FORGOT A FUCKING '/' IN MY FUCKING CODE. WHICH MEANS THE HOLE GODDAMN API URL MAKES NO SENSE.
WHY THE FUCK DO I ALWAYS OVERCOMPLICATE SHIT LIKE THIS.
FUCK2 -
In IT-Class:
Random: Ey watcha doin?
Me: Programming. What else?
Random: Oh, you're such a nerd...
Me: Programming is fun! I really like it.
Random: Please don't say this is your hobby...
Me: It is.
Random: Bruuh... *goes away*
Why the fuck are you here, if you're not interested in programming???
I don't understand such people.13 -
Fullstack dev: Hey I need your help with one of this method in the service layer (We use Java).
Me: Sure. What’s up!
Fullstack dev: When you get a user ....blah blah blah...
Me (typing code):
if (user != null) { ... }
Fullstack dev: Wait! This won’t work. You need to write this:
if (null != user) { ... }
In Java, you write like this. In JS it’ll work, not in Java.
Me: (also fuck this guy)
He’s among the famous devs in the company - (A very very very famous European bank).
I checked his commits for the frontend (React Native)
switch (some_expr) {
case foo:
return stuff()
break // <— note this
case bar:
return moreStuff()
break // <— note this
// more cases here with break after return statements
}
Me: Hey if you’re returning from a case why are you using a break. It’s dead code.
Fullstack dev: It’ll fall through otherwise.
———————
You’re a fucking dunce! Please drink a litre of Carborane in a rusty HIV infested container! Cheers!
PS More to come!33 -
- My client on regular day.
U can manage your tasks by your own. App looks stable and you are doing well.
- Same client when I'm on Vacation
This thing is not working, that thing is not working. This is do or die situation for us. you have to cancel your vacation plans.
- Same client after I come back from vacation in which I wasted precious hours of my vacation time and fixed all the bugs.
I didn't release your changes yet coz I wanted to release it together with you. I was like "THEN WHY THE FUCK YOU RUINED MY VACATION" -_-4 -
I'm getting so pissed off by this client, here's the gist
We signed agreement defining the following deliverables:
- news page and news article page
- releases page and release info page
(it's a guy from a record label)
After the signature we (me and my colleagues) went to work and finished all that (+ a little more actually, yea I know never overstep your agreement right but we did) and we got paid (all good)
Now after payment he's asking us to do more (some kind of mail installation thing), so I obviously tell him, as I actually have many times before, that our agreement only stretched as far as those 4 deliverables and we wouldn't work without a new agreement defining a new set of requirements or an hourly rate.
Next he goes and tells me the following
==
We already have an agreement. I'm not paying you on an hourly rate as you are not next to me. Let me know
-- First off no we don't, the agreement only covered the 4 pages
== immediatly after
Also you really need to work on your costumer service. Your attitude is very rude. I don't know how many clients you have but all this distrust attitude is not in your favours. Let me know if you want to proceed?
-- Are you fucking kidding me? I am rude and distrustful? I JUST DO MY FUCKING JOB YOU PRICK
Sorry just need to let off some steam14 -
Why do HR people ask stupid questions like the following ones? Everytime I get those questions, I have imaginary answers like the ones right after each question.
Why do you want to work here?
- Obviously, because I need the money to survive. I'm not here because I love working for you and having to endure your stress. I'm not that type of a kinky person.
Are you flexible?
- Why? Do you want to annoy me when I'm sleeping in the middle of the night because of a sudden deadline or because a god damn employee didn't show up?
Do you see yourself as a perfect fit for both developer and tech support roles?
- Read my fucking resume, moron. I applied for a developer role. Nothing else.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
- As if you would care. It's none of your business, but since we are at it. I see myself as your manager in 5 years. Hope that you like that thought.
We didn't bother reading your CV. Would you like to tell us about yourself?
- Nope. Have a nice day and suck my dick. I'm leaving.
Can you give us your phone number and the phone number of your girlfriend?
- I didn't know that I am selling my soul to your company by accepting this job offer. I'm not your slave and you will not call me whenever I'm enjoying my private time.
What's motivating you?
- Money and the peaceful vibe at work when you are shutting the fuck up when I'm fully focused during my projects.
How do you handle stress?
- I dick slap everyone infront of me.
Do you see yourself as a hard worker?
- Nah, I'm not interested in sucking dicks, eating her ass and bending over to get a little bit of a raise.11 -
Me, doing ui design: 'hm, i feel like jumping into machine learning right now'
Me, writing a ml chatbot: 'but what if i extend flutter with my old custom android components'
Me, porting java components to dart: 'hold on, p5js has vectors, i could make a physical simulation'
Me to me: 'why are you like this'10 -
Why is the contributing manual of your open source project more thoughtfully cultivated than your code style guide and testing procedure?
Why the fuck do you care about the message in my PR, or even merge vs rebase of commits, when your spaghetti-tomatosource is so richly saturated with critically minced bugmeat?
Why are you standing there, shouting at me about your convoluted rules, in your little brown uniform? Why do I feel like the enemy when I contribute a useful fix, something which makes the code work better?
You know what, fuck all of you, you jilted acetous neckbeards, I will deploy my secret weapon, I will bypass the power you hold over your tiny fascist digital dominions.
If you play it like this, I will summon the nefarious vile side of Open Source. I will usurp your throne. I will stab out your crying eyes, rip out your conceited tongue, impale your lonely heart.
Tremble before me! I wield the almighty, legendary Fork!
The king is dead, long live the king!5 -
I really like JS, but sometimes it's just incredibly stupid.
NaN stands for Not-A-Number
typeof NaN
> 'number'
why are you doing this to me8 -
Initial steps of learning any new programming language :
*heck yeah I created a calculator. Guess I'll show my family that I actually can code! *
-hey mom, dad look I made a simple calculator using python B)
- uhm... That's great son but dont we already have one of those?
- yeah but like... this is completely different it uses a different programming language than what you and I have been using all this time.
- ah I see. Good for you then
*muttering to each other*
-are you sure he's got the aptitude to be a cse?
-at this point we can just hope.
Me:*stares blindly in my dark room contemplating why I'm alive*7 -
I guess schools in DE are very safe, because this kind of behavior is normally punched out of you around 4th grade.
Just close the fucking window and shut the fuck up instead of snitching in a chat where the boss can see. And why the fuck was that guy in the lab on Sunday?
BTW, there is no chance anyone could pull our 75+kg robots out of that window. Not to mention they are like 20 years old and their only worth is as scraps.
13 -
Why in the name of Donald Knuth did you think it was a good idea to have a 1500 line Java Method? What THE HELL WERE YOU SMOKING THE ENTIRE FILE IS OVER 3000 LINES AND HALF OF THEM ARE COMMENTED OUT!
Don't even get me started on your "unit tests" which is a massive 5000 line behemoth that randomly has massive swaths of code commented out.
And of course no solution like this would be complete with you HARD CODING EVERY F****INIG STRING IN EVERY TIME!
And it's not like you don't know how to use classes as you have several of them, every single one of which is over 500+ lines and consists of only getters and setters. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO A MAP! REALLY WHY WOULD YOU USE 500 LINES FOR A CLASS THAT IS JUST GETTERS AND SETTERS?!
The part that really burns me about all of this though, isn't the fact that you sent it to me when I was running into a similar issue, and said "check this out it should help", what bothers me most isn't the indescribable rage I felt looking at your code, the part that really really really bothers me is that you are a veteran with over 15 years in Java development, and according to the org chart are a lead senior engineer getting paid substantially more than me, whereas I am considered a lowly mid-level developer, who isn't worth promoting to your level.
On the plus side you are now going to be featured on theDailyWTF so congrats on the notoriety.8 -
I love when job postings are like, you will use THIS tool, and THIS is how it will be accomplished!!!! NO EXCEPTIONS!!!
bitch, i'm the senior engineer, I should be the one picking and choosing tools to match your needs, not you and HR pals!
no wonder your job offer still isnt' filled!
i'd love to ask these organizations why they chose such boomer technologies in the first place and why there is no effort to change to much more developer / user friendly tools.... just a red flag from the start11 -
Gf: "Why are you such a typist"
Me: "I promise not to buy more keyboards with blue switches..."
Gf: "No, I mean like being racist or sexist, but you discriminate types"
Me: "Uhhh"
Gf: "You are always bitching about how awful date/time types are, with timezones, leap seconds and daylight savings"
Me: Face turns pale, thousand yard stare, vietnam-flashback to when I was writing a calendar scheduling/meeting/matching tool which used 3 databases, with timestamps in different formats, and web frontends for people in offices around the world.
Me, with a soft broken voice: "So?"
Gf: "You've been working on that palette tool this week, and you keep talking about how interesting all these colorspaces, white balances and conversion formulas are"
Me: 🤔5 -
So I've been reading a lot about this #deletefacebook trend across devrant lately. And frankly I'm a little concerned.
As per my understanding, everyone wants to delete Facebook because they're harvesting data. Learning more about us.
While I would agree that I want my privacy. I am a little surprised at how fast this trend is picking up. People are turning a blind eye on everything else they do online just to assume they have privacy.
Let's put this Into perspective, shall we?
You are afraid of letting Facebook harvest your data yet you watch videos on YouTube which is owned by Google. You may even proceed to removing your Google account and use a stripped down version of Chromium to protect yourself from these companies yet you're using a Windows, Mac, iPhone, or Android all of which may be harvesting your data behind the scenes. Some may argue that they have stripped down their android phones but don't take into consideration that you are still using apps on your phone that may be collecting your data.
Let's say that you manage to get out of every sort of technology, you should remember that companies like Facebook also check data about you through your friends.
You use platforms like DuckduckGo assuming that they might not be collecting data about you in some way. I don't think there is anyway for you to prove that these privacy companies don't collect our data.
I don't know why everyone seems to be interested in this trend. I absolutely don't see a point in it. If anything, things I see are super relevant to me.15 -
"Big data" and "machine learning" are such big buzz words. Employers be like "we want this! Can you use this?" but they give you shitty, ancient PC's and messy MESSY data. Oh? You want to know why it's taken me five weeks to clean data and run ML algorithms? Have you seen how bad your data is? Are you aware of the lack of standardisation? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE MISSPELLED "information"?!!! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WERE MORE THAN 15 WAYS OF MISSPELLING IT!!! I HAD TO MAKE MY OWN GODDAMN DICTIONARY!!! YOU EVER FELT THE PAIN OF TRAINING A CLASSIFIER FOR 4 DAYS STRAIGHT THEN YOUR GODDAMN DEVICE CRASHES LOSING ALL YOUR TRAINED MODELS?!!
*cries*7 -
STOP SHITTING ON PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES.
Now, I'm not talking to the people that don't take it too serious, but rather to people that think their language is superior and others inferior. Why shit on PHP? A lot of stuff is build with this, including devRant. For me, I'd love to learn any languages that has a proper use for me. (With this sentence I'm excluding all exoteric languages, because they are useless) If anyone says, Python is awesome as fuck, yeah, I FUCKING AGREE. Anyone telling me anything is crap, I disagree. If it's that terrible, how do you know about it? If it was never used ever in a project, how can you know its terrible? You can't. Unless you coded that thing yourself.
Next time don't waste your time on shit like that. I AM ALSO LOOKING AT THE HOLY WAR APPLE VS MICROSOFT VS LINUX
STOP WASTING YOUR TIME WITH SHIT LIKE THIS.18 -
Why does the idea of having to develop social skills somehow seem to scare the fuck out of a large portion of you?
Is being a likeable human being such a weird concept? What do you expect? To people just validate your entire existence based on how good you can sit in front of a set of monitors and push code out? Thousands of monkeys can do that shit. Thousands of systems will eventually do such things.
for whatever reason the "I am a fucking asshole that can code" trope seems to be a "real thing" amongst developers. A mfker can know waaaaaaay less than you, have the same credentials (degrees etc) and will get the job because you were too busy building an online persona governing how better you are than everyone else. How "quirky" and Sheldon Cooper like you are. You think that makes you likeable? "i don't need to be likeable" <---- yes the fuck you are, because this shit is something in which people can be trained upon.
A team, regardless of how much you agree with this, can choose a person solely based on how well he/she/whatever clicks with them. You might be the end all be all of development, but if they don't like you or feel you will not be someone worthwile to be around, will not chose you. They will go with the charismatic newbie that can learn the same shit you so dear hold on to, because they are likeable.
Sticking to a merit based "I am the best there is" asshole mentality is a thing of the fucking past, boomer mentality. For which newer generations are parting ways with, with still profitable results. workable results. Production ready results.
Yet you chose to stick to a "I might be a quirky annoying fuck, but I am the best" mentality?
This is why you were bullied. This is why you can't get any dick, this is why you can't get any pussy, this is why you sit your ass in your little dark room trying to convince yourself that being lonely is a choice, not a situation in which you put your ass in. This is why I also dislike developers online.
Most of you might be the nicest mfkers on the planet when dealing with on a face to face basis, but if you put this shit on a screen for the world to see you will be viewed upon as some dickhead.
Fuck this "code is my life" mentality, shit is but a paycheck, a craft is not a glimpse into what you are as a person, but a way in which you make a paycheck. Molding your personality, based on what you do for a living, really?
Damn man, shit is just so fucking sad. So cringeworthy even.43 -
So this happened...phone somehow turned on in my pocket and the fingerprint sensor rubbed against the fabric a lot of times...didn't have access to my phone for FREAKING 2 HOURS!! Why should my phone get locked by the fingerprint sensor?? The way I see it, if you are someone else, you either have my finger...or you don't...like you could kill me and chop my hand off or be crafty and try and use my finger while I'm asleep or drugged...either way, it wouldn't take that many tries to unlock my phone 😒😒.
11 -
I met a guy on facebook group, where was post asking how to make easy platformer game in a week. And I tried to explain post author how to start. Everything was good untill this guy came in. He commented my comment "Yoo you are wrong, he can learn it in one day". My comment was about starting with unity and programming, and that need time to learn (without copying tutorial, everything made by himself). So I started to gently explaining him why it is unachivable in 1 day. Of course his respond was like "Omg you are so fooking stupid, It's sooo easyyy" this conversarion took good 15 minutes, and I ended it with "Ok, you are right" just to end thid. I hate people like that.4
-
One day at a doctor who started a small conversation:
Doc: What is your job?
Me: I am a software developer, I write computer programs basically.
Doc: Interesting. How does it work?
Me: Oversimplified you have special languages to tell the computer what to do and then this is converted into a program you can start on your PC. The languages are a bit like basic english (thought of Pascal at this moment).
Doc: So then it is a pretty simple job.
Me thinking: OMFG yes that's why I studied it 6 years, because it's soo easy.
Me thinking at home: Next time tell them that you are a computer scientist and that it is applied mathematics basically. Maybe then they will get a clue of the complexity. 🤔14 -
Online ads....
I think the problem is that in the age of "AI" and "machine learning" etc etc - the reality is that targeted or personalised advertising is absolutely shite.
All I see when I browse around are ads for things that I bought. It's like - I FUCKING BOUGHT THIS WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SELL IT TO ME??!
I think anyone worried about the machine uprising enslaving humanity can relax and not worry about it, at least until amazon can understand when it has sold you something or you just looked at something.6 -
Had a job interview back where I want to move(2300 miles away), doing exactly what I wanted. Unfortunately it was for a senior developer, a bit over my pay grade.
First Interview: "It is above your skill level, but I like you. We will make it fit you."
Second Interview(technical): " You did super well! I will make sure to pass the good news onto the boss! I am excited to work with you soon!"
Response to my thank you email: "We decided to not persue you further for this position. We are going with someone who has more experience."
Why string me along?!?!4 -
A senior developer come to interrupt me.
Senior developer: blah...blah....blah about this concept...... that concept... So, any new things you learn lately that you would like to share?
Me: I am learning back C++
Immediately he stop me and said, "Why did you learn C++? It is obsolete, no one use it anymore"
Me (in my head): But, you just said what I learn. It doesn't matter if its obsolete or not. Infact you are wrong, C++ is not obsolete anytime soon. I was about to share on webassembly.
Senior developer: So, would you like to join me in a short sharing session this afternoon.
Me: No thanks, I am really busy (just want to avoid at any cost)8 -
Me: don't limit yourself! Learn more than one thing, experiment and learn more.
Devrant: don't use x. X is a piece of shit and its not worth it. This is better, and you are wrong.
I hate highly opinionated people. Devrant seems to be full of them.
I seriously believe this is why people like AlexDelarge left. Sooo many punchable motherfuckers up in this bitch man.
"Fucking leave then" ----> go fuck yourself. This platform is great. Some of y'all are great. Having frustrated virgins lurking around does not mean that all of us that like fucking around in here needs to leave.19 -
This happened sometime back..
A guy came to our university with a social network that he created. It was for students and professors to interact, to form study groups and earn points as they mark done topic as "studied". He made a deal with our university, so everyone was forced to sign up for this.
While he was giving a demo of the website, me and my friend started ranting.
"This website is shit. Why are we forced to use this?"
"This UI looks just like LinkedIn"
"This top bar is right out of bootstrap"
"I have seen that graph in one of the libraries. He didn't even change the defaults."
Another friend who was sitting besides us was hearing all this.
"I don't understand a word you guys are talking. It is too high level for me"
We replied, "Don't worry. We will talk in low level. 00101110010101..."4 -
When lot of people are actually using you open source software and contributing to it and donating money for it, but you don't know why given the fact that it objectively is complete crap.
I feel bad each time that I receive money. Is this what the "impostor syndrome" feels like? Because I'm actually feeling like an impostor.2 -
Person: So what do you do for a living..
Me: (here we go)... I am an information security analyst working in an incident response team for x company. I do log collection and manage a large scale correlation engine.
Person: Oh, so are you super smart or something? (Blinks her eyes and continues with blank stare)
Me: Uh... Smart enough I guess.
Person: Can you hack things like a hacker.
Me: That really isn't my job...
Person: What's your job again?
Me: Computer guy
(She lights up)
Person: Why didn't you just say that? I can understand that.
Yeah... I seem to have painful conversations like this often.10 -
Yo, is this devrant or spamspace???
Like, do you even fucking work, mates? Are you a dev? How doesn't a fucking legacy code piss you off on a daily basis? What are all the ways you want to respond to your customer's/PM's abuse? Does your lead dev even know jackshit?
Where did all your quality rants go? Why do you all sound like second graders writing essays for school? Have some passion for your job, and hatred for the incompetence for others!
Now, go produce some quality rants! Funny ones too! Bonus points if it's angry-funny.20 -
Interviewer: "Ok we are searching for a fucking god of the code, if you have a week for work on a new project you must end within 3 days and work on other stuff! And for contract maybe a stage can be a good solution, we can't pay very much, but you must work like a machine and you'll love it cause here we have lots of project!"
Me: "I'm not interested."
Interviewer: "W..what?? Why?? Is there something wrong??"
Everytime a cunt like this ask to a developer to work for him, somewhere in the world a browser crashes6 -
Currently i have a small web dev project and i set up a live preview website so he cant see it developing and This literally Just happened
Client : hey, are you currently working on my website?
Me : Yes on my computer and working on it, can i help you with something?
C: yeah just a little bit, that logo on the top left are just a bit squeezed in size and stay like that since 5 days ago and it's bothering me, can you fix it?
Me : nah, its just a simple thing. give me a sec and try reload--
C: why is your voice echoing? Don't tell me you are coding in the bathroom
Me: ummm.. No... I guess...? (I Am)
C: 🤣
Me: sorry 😅4 -
Why are we still having degree vs autodidact arguments/debates?
It's fucking 2018, who gives a flying fuck how you learn?
Stop giving a shit about how people learn and give a shit about their abilities and skills.
I'm tired of people from both sides (people with degrees and autodidacts) acting like they're better than the other. Stop being arrogant cunts.
Some people have the self control and motivation to teach themselves.
Congratulations! That's fucking awesome.
Others don't and could use a structured environment like University to motivate and encourage them.
Hey it happens. At least you're trying.
My god. Just stop with this shit already. It's annoying and unnecessary.
If you made it this far, how's your week been going?26 -
This happened via mail thread today.
Boss: we need this new brilliant feature I just made up and running asap! Top priority, it has to be done well, for my reputation is on the line!
Me: *looks at the specifics* 'kay, looks easy enough, this evening max and it will be ready. I just nees some extra info about what kind of data validations (I speak no accountant) are needed, and some other details (a total of 3 questiona).
B: Sure! Remember, it needs to be perfect, as my reputation is at stake. Call me on the phone and I'll give you the details!
M: Can't you answer via mail? Thua way both me and the other devs will have clewr guidelines
B: Just call me! Why do you need it to be written down? It's faster this way!
...Fine. I'll keep asking until you're ready to give me a written answer to my questions. No way I'll take security details via phone for something you want in production this evening. No chance in Hell I'll take responsibility for "misunderstanding" what you said on the phone. Why does it always has to be like that?8 -
The newest IPhone (Which specwise is good) is more expensive than the newest graphics cards that are coming out... h.o.l.y. s.h.i.t
and you know what? THE BEST MODEL IS 400 BUCKS MORE EXPENSIVE THAN A FUCKING 2080TI!
And you know what?
WHATS UP WITH STORAGE!
you go from 64Gb to 256 and 512 GIGABYTES OF DATA!!
Its like, Midrange storage to a Ton of Storage to HOLY SHIT WHO NEEDS THIS MUCH?!
and you know WHY they are doing this?
Because most of the people will buy the 256 or 512 model GUARANTEED! People behave like this! you dont believe me?
What if you gave a Big Popcorn box for 15 Bucks and the smallest one for 5 bucks, which one would you buy? The smaller one. (Most of the time) and why? because you only have 2 choices! If I gave you 3 choices: 5 for small, 10 for medium and 15 for large?
You wont buy the smallest one, because it doesnt make sense! THATS WHY AND NOW FUCK OFF AND YOU TOO APPLE GO SUCK COCKS OF YOUR FUCKING FANBOYS WHICH WILL PAY MORE!4 -
People like this guy commentating are the main reason why evolution is still just a theory.
Let's take for example someone having a problem with their car not starting up.
Already seeing this guy's response would be:
"Personally I hate cars. Seems like its always they're broken. Have you just tried using your legs and run 40 kilometers to work every day?"
No I didn't you fucker, and you know why? Because it's not convenient. The same way how it's not convenient for me or any sane developer to drop to a command line and run custom query (which can be automated) every time I want to quickly check some values in development.
And no, the OP didn't ask for setup of this on production, the conversation kept on in comments below and this guy was still defending his productive idea.
26 -
Fuck this system. Fuck college. Why the fuck are you making me write hundreds of chemistry assignments and calculating double integrals? How the fuck does that even help me? I seriously feel like college sucks up a huge chunk of my time and I am not learning anything, while I practice Node and Vue at home. Why does that degree hold so much value when most degree holders don't even have skills?30
-
"Change your algorithm"
Answers like this are why Stack Overflow almost becomes worthless when asking questions. I asked for some clarification why my code, which reads some files and outputs another, was hitting System.OutOfMemory exceptions. And that was the response I got.
"Change your algorithm"
How? In what manner should I be seeking to change my algorithm? OBVIOUSLY I SHOULD CHANGE MY ALGORITHM YOU WASTE OF OXYGEN. That was a given by the exception my program threw!
I swear to god, SO has got to be one of the most unwelcoming, condescending sites on the internet.5 -
If you are sick...
STAY THE FUCK HOME!
It has nothing to do with how YOU are feeling. It’s about RESPECT for those around you.
Especially if you work in an open office. Coming into an open office when sick is like coughing right on someone’s face repeatedly, it shows that same level of (lack of) respect.
Almost every company I have seen fucks this up so bad. It’s the same shit every year....
People are afraid to take days and stay home. They go in and make everyone sick, then everyone is taking days off and we are “short” on people. Then the incompetent CEO is scratching his head as to why this toxic work environment could produce such a toxic result.
And one more fucking thing.
If you got a cold/flu on Monday and your in the office on Wednesday because you are “feeling a bit better” then your a fucking idiot. At day 3 you are just starting to expel germs while still being highly contagious.
If you come into an open office while sick then I would say...
“Smarten the fuck up! And start showing some respect for the people you work with!”
If you have created (or are creating) a culture that encourages this then I would say...
“Fuck you! You should be fucking smarter than that.”
————
If your still sitting there thinking something like...
“Well I have to attend the meeting” or some other shit. Then let me add this to the pile.
Not everyone has had a rosy fucking life.
You may be working next to someone who has a lowered immune system due to past medical problems. What may be a week of sickness for you could end up being a month in the hospital for them.
You may be working next to a person who has a family member dying of cancer. If you make them sick then they can’t visit that family member (colds can kill cancer patients) and you may be stopping that person from seeing their loved ones one last time before they die.
Don’t be a fucking asshole.
STAY THE FUCK HOME!6 -
Oh my God. New pet peeve:
People who answer questions on Amazon with an answer like "idk I just got this :(" or "idk man I bought it as a present."
Why the fuck do you feel the urge to answer a fucking question without actually answering it? Like are you that fucking stupid? Jesus Christ.5 -
"Never touch a running system". I can't believe how many times I've seen this advice here. How the fuck are you supposes to upgrade, improve stuff? This is why stuff like WannaCry happens.8
-
(maybe) unpopular opinion
I hate the I'm at 127.0.0.1|localhost meme
It's a loopback address
It's like saying I live at home
Like why do people think it's funny or smart to post stuff like that
Even the doormat that was going around isn't necessary accurate, since it's per machine (in this case a human).
Like if you have the home saying it's localhost then you are obviously not.
Maybe I'm just being mean here but it's like really annoying after a while4 -
This one crazy:
We made an app for our client to scan some parcels via barcode.
They just created a ticket, for complaining that it's hard to scan in the storage room, because it's so dark. They are like sometimes we need to use a torge to scan. Can you increase the contrast of the app or something to scan better in darker place.
Did not know what to answer, but my thoughts were like: why the fuck you don't put enough light in that room?! 🤔🤷🏽♂️6 -
I recently ranted so much about languages but here it goes
JS we need to talk. BECAUSE YOU GOT FAT AND UGLY STUPID BITCH! Dumb piece of bloatware. What even is your problem? Depending on a library for strpad and then blow up like Steve jobs ego. Bastardized fuckfest. I used to like you bro and then you screw me over!
It's like you fuck my wife while I try to fix your car. Why can't you even be usefully on your own anymore? I'd be richer than bill gates if I get a dollar for every damn framework people pull from their asses. Are you writing this fuck while shitting so you can compare colors of your outcome?
Normalize the fucking base, don't add to the bukkakke! bitch is drowning already. Why is everyone jerking of to react and angular? When have YOU written something in vanilla the last time? Why even bother? Remove the core and hardcore every damn framework into the browsers. Guess that saves you 200kb. Oh wait I forgot that's about unminified jQuery.
Now I need to load about 2GB of dependencies, some creating code that puts code in my code to load code out of my code which was generated out of something that remotely resembles JS so every browser is able to execute my fancy shit. But hey, it's fast. And of course there are the fanboys. You are worse than apple fags. You sample your own jizz with your friends in a wine glass. there was a Time it was bad practice to mix logic and view. Now you made it mandatory. "Browser does the rendering" ofc you imbecile pile of fuck don't show me a damn preloader for 1 picture and 20 lines of text. Who fucked your brain so hard?
So react seems to be the cool kid now, then I tell someone I know angular it's like showing up in a pikachu onsie to a formal dinner with the queen.
I used to love you girl. I loved how we could dirty things together. Now you are like a pig. Please loose weight bby the sight of you disgusts me nowadays2 -
The more I visit a wide range of sites, the more I hate obnoxious cookie policy pop ups. The ones that take 2/3 are UN-FUCKING-NECESSARY.
Web devs that make them like this can you please tell me why?12 -
I'm a "lefty", I defended the Python "Master/Slave" stuff, but honestly, what the fuck is this CoC at Linux? (https://lulz.com/linux-devs-threate...)
It it isn't "fair" as people who are indicated don't get a "fair trial", I'm all for enabling women, PoC, and folks of the LQBTQIA+ community, but simply kicking people out you don't like isn't the fucking solution! What a fuckup.
If there are people supporting the CoC, please let me know your views and why, as I simply can't understand it.19 -
For several years now, I have been writing programs for myself. I have been publishing the source code for them, but none of them ever got much traction. Then I wrote a program that existing users on social media could just interact with without installation (because even that is too much apparently).
When I wrote the programs for myself with others secondary, I had logic problems to solve and dealt with fucked up API's. Now I still have that problem, but I also have to deal with user retardation. They are not using the program in the way I wrote it to be used, at all. They are not passing arguments where there should be, they are running commands that are still under development and therefore (rightfully IMO) available to only me. I am the one being blamed, why doesn't this thing work?
I'd like to rephrase their question to me. Why are you user not using the goddamn program properly? Why should I need to make half the goddamn code account for users' sheer level of retardation?
Yes, users are retarded. And it's not a battle we can win. Earlier I heard this saying that "every time you make your tools more foolproof, the universe invents a better fool".7 -
Please disregard. I just need to vent.
Being a manager is so fucking shit. This is not even about devs or tech specific only. Never become a manager.
Why? Because it’s about handling people and all the dumb shit they do. It’s all about knowing what people suck at and preventing that weakness from leaking into other areas. The amount of fucked up people on this earth means that you have to work with at least some of them, and that means putting up with their stupid ass list of super special requirements, that if they do not fulfill, will make them a shit worker. It’s not even an issue of technical skills.
You have the guys that are often late, because “they have depression”, but will complain that “companies don’t treat employees like adults”. Being on time for work is apparently very difficult. Which doesn’t generally matter in general for dev work, but it ends up affecting other things.
You have the completely socially inept idiots that make half the team hate them and try to avoid working with them, increasing problems and work for other people. Just because they’re socially stupid, have low or no empathy, or are incapable of not being insufferable to others.
You have the people that are so bad at estimating that they keep making up numbers instead of waiting to think for a few minutes and say “ not sure, I need to research and estimate that”.
You have the surprise absentee for dumb as fuck reasons like “my phone died lol sorry”. They never do anything to actually improve, it is just “sorry guys! Btw I will do jackshit about this”.
Or the ones whining about virtually everything, all the time. Wtf why do I have to be on scrum at 12 tomorrow?! Wtf why do I have to record the result of that customer call? Wtf why should I talk with XYZ?
And if you leave them alone, everything burns. They actually need someone to tell them “hey mate you need to improve that, shall we plan something to do so?”. I think managers are useless and unneeded when you have adults working, but it seems like most of the population is composed of children. It’s basically another form of daycare.
And you have to prepare shit around all of these constraints.
Then you have the one guy that reads the requirements, has common sense, and is inoffensive and can work like a normal adult human that needs no baby sitting. A ray of light on this shitshow.
I just want to go back to pure dev.22 -
dear api author at my company pt. 2:
If you're gonna create an api method that takes some arguments.
And one of those arguments is an array.
THEN MAKE THE FUCKING ARGUMENT'S NAME PLURAL YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.
REPEAT WITH ME, MOTHERFUCKER.
ARRAY, PLURAL, NON-ARRAY, SINGULAR.
I need to pass a shitload of filters for the data for this table, and for every suckin fuckin filter I need to singularize this shit. Thank god for es6.
I know this sounds like nitpick, but I swear to fucking alpha omega this guy is inconsistent as fuck.
Every time it feels like he makes up a new rule.
Sometimes I need to send arrays of ids, other times arrays of objects with an id property on each.
He uses synonyms too, sometimes it's remove, other times erase.
PICK ONE MOTHERFUCKER.
If you can't do the basic things well, then what is to expect of more advanced stuff?
Naming conventions you fucking idiot, follow them. It's programming 101.
You're already sending them as plural in the fucking response. Why change them for the request?
And that's just style, conventions.
This idiot asshole also RARELY DOES ANY FUCKING CHECK ON THE ARGUMENTS.
"Oh, you sent a required argument as null? 500"
We get exceptions on sentry UP THE ASS thanks to this useless bone container.
YOU'RE SEEING THE EXCEPTIONS TOO!!!!! 500'S ARE BUGS YOU NEED TO FIX, YOU CUMCHUGGER
And sometimes he does send 400, you know what the messages usually are?
"Validation failed".
WHYYYYYY YOU GODDAMN APATHETIC TASTELESS FUCK???
WHAT EXACTLY CAUSED THE FUCKING VALIDATION TO FAIL????
EXCEPTIONS HAPPEN AND THANKS TO YOU I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.
The worst of all... the worst of fucking all is that everytime I make a suggestion to change shit, every time, you act like you care.
You act like the api is the way it is because you designed it in a calculated manner.
MOTHERFUCKER. IF A USER HAS ONLY PRODUCT A, THEN HE SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO ACCESS DATA FOR PRODUCT B. IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO JUST RESTRICT SHIT WITH ADMIN ROLES. IDIOT!!!!!
This is the work of someone who has no passion for programming.10 -
Boss: this is different from the old console I don't like it
Me: but this has been approved by product management and the team already made estimates and committed to the feature
Boss: Well this needs to change, our existing users will not like it
Me: This is far from agile to be honest, and the change came from user feedback analysis
Boss: You are not doing your work *swears and curses* this is against the team direction!
Me: then why was this committed on this sprint? All I did was facilitate the needs of the team to proceed development.
Boss: *runs out office and starts calling other bosses to boss around*
Runs in 5 minutes later, saying we are not allowed to destroy a feature with enhancements like this.
Me: *Infinite facepalm*7 -
I don't understand why people are making a fuss about Facebook.
It's free to use, the amount of users kept increasing (thus the cost of maintenance) yet the company kept getting bigger and bigger. Obviously they're not making all their money off the advertisements on Facebook's own website.
So why are people so surprised that they're "selling" user information?
This is really funny to me. Especially the media joining in saying that it makes all your information available to everybody when they're actually talking about the fact that the majority of Facebook users have their profile set to public and they can be easily found with a simple Google search.
People are so fucking hypocritical it makes me want to puke. If you don't want anybody to know what you posted, just don't fucking post it on a SOCIAL MEDIA in the first place.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that facebook is all flowers and love, they clearly didn't handle this situation well. They could have done something about this whole situation when it started instead of waiting for things to blow out of proportion.
However, people are just being assholes now. I highly doubt that they're reading all chats nor are they sending it over, they're probably just sending out some words you mention often so that it is pertinent for advertisers (ex. If you use the word computer next to buy, then maybe that triggers something). I could talk extensively about it but I'm way too lazy, the point is, they most likely aren't sending the nudes you sent to advertisers because that does not provide any benefits.
If you don't like Facebook, don't fucking use it. Delete your account and shut the fuck up. When you screw up in real life, there's no takesies backsies, why the fuck do people think it doesn't apply online? The government gathers up quite a lot of information on you yet I don't see you crying your eyes out.
Why the fuck do you care so much if an advertisement is tailored to specifically? Yeah, you talked about dildos and now you see dildo ads from Amazon, not happy? Just download adblock and shut up. If you're gullible and the moment you see an ad about single women in your area you click on the ad because you want to get laid right now, that's your problem.
Don't want people knowing about some aspects of your private life? Don't share it online.
Stop acting like people are any better at keeping secrets, I'm sure you had some people leak your secrets at least once, yet I doubt you sued them and you brought them to court.
===========
I'm sorry about this, it's just that Facebook is all over the news and I'm getting sick of it.
Also, I hate facebook, I'm not necessarily defending it, I'm more pissed at the medias for blowing this situation out of proportion.22 -
Dear coworker,
We have a very nice SASS setup so WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU POLLUTING OUR HTML WITH INLINE STYLES!?!?!? It's not like it's even necessary to use inline in this case, I can achieve the same thing by just moving your styling to the scss files. So I ask again, WHY THE FUCK???
Sincerely,
A mildly pissed person who hates front-end dev work3 -
Not commenting enough, using if instead of switch, messing (and breaking) the IDE, not reading pop up messages, thinking and not doing, watching Netflix, starting on new projects before finishing old ones, complaining about certain languages, googling instead of figuring it for myself (sometimes), let my friends persuade me into making something for them, run-on sentences, not enough comments, giving up quickly, not doing adequate research, and of course, not writing down good ideas I have.
9 -
Ok so we went to a graphic class seeking graphic designers for our game.
We pitchted our 3d fast paced speed running game. With highscores and shit. (We only have a week to create this game)
This fucking moron in the back of the class starts to rise his hand asking:
Is this a MMORPG?
Me: No this is no fucking MMORPG?!
Him: But i only want to design to a MMORPG
Me: Well we are not doing a fucking MMORPG..
Him: Can you change it to an MMORPG please?
Me: WTF NOOO!
Him: Okey you sure?
Me: YES... smh
Like why the fuck shall we change an idea to something litrally impossible to make in a week and that will fucking crash and burn like every Michael Bay movie ever...4 -
I am angry. Do you know why? It's a rhetorical question, because you don't know why I am angry, which is why I'm going to tell you why I'm so. I Followed my friend, " Jane Doe" ( you don't need to know her actual name) to this store in my town. Then these 14-15 years old girls came up to me, and started asking me about my braces. "Where'd you get it?
" How much did it cost ?"
I get these questions like almost every single, and it's annoying. 😒
This one question got me angry. "What 'if' her braces are fake?" A girl said whispering to her friend.
Fake??? My braces are realer than you could ever be, jealous bitch. I said that in my mind, I don't have the guts to say it out loud, besides these girls look like they could tear me to pieces, and I wanted no conflict. I walked away as soon as my friend got her stuffs from the store.
My friend couldn't help but to tease me that I'm a doormat. I guess she's right. 🤔☹😤😟😖27 -
Voice commands are the future!!!! .... God I hope not... Why do people like this obviously inferior interface?
A real conversation with Google assistant while driving, I got a text:
"Read text"
...
"Read text message"
*You have one text message from Dave. Would you like to hear it?*
"... Yes!"
* Hey what's up?*
"Reply"
....
"Reply to text"
*I don't understand*
"Text Dave!!!!"
"Message James using SMS. What's the message?"
GAH!!!!!!!! fuck you Google assistant! This is literally the only thing I use you for, so stop being so fucking bad at it!!!!11 -
You guys wanna know why I rage so much at the 🤡🤡🤡's I work with?
I shit you not, this is a ticket in our "to do" section of our Jira.
what even is ticket linking??!?!?
what even are tickets??!?!?!
or better yet.... what even the fuck is jira?!?!?! I've only been using it for over a year, give me some time to figure out how to use it!!!!!!
I don't know, maybe i'm the asshole. But at least I don't feel like a 🤡
7 -
*Declines meeting an hour past working hours*
Manager: “any specific reason why you declined my invite?”
What I want to say: “You are a narcissistic cunt who I wish to never interact with again. Your existence in this world and the way you treat others makes me want to throw up!”
But I just pretend like I never saw their message.8 -
Put random text in window.alert() where ever I got error in JavaScript code. Random text like 1) If you see this, you are fucked; 2) error 001; 3)why today; 4) the code is breaking here etc.
And never removed them. They are the running in production till now. I am just thankful to the gods that the code Nevers break and the user does not get browser alert and also the fact that I don't work there anymore.4 -
Yknow what the best part about Unix is? (Not Linux. Like old school Unix. AIX, HPUX, or in this specific case: Solaris)
It never needs to be updated. like ever. Even when new features are added 5 years ago to add features that GNU has had for literally decades. Updates are for the weak. Because why should I be able to type "netstat -natup" when instead you can enjoy several hours of developing the nightmare one-liner that is:
Pfiles /proc/* | awk '/^[0-9]/ {p=$0} /port/ {printf "%.4s %-30s %-8s %s\n", $1,$3,$5,p}' 2>/dev/null
Isn't that just so much more fun?!
Thanks guys. I'm going back to GNU now if you don't mind.6 -
Worst things about being a dev? Boy, this will be a long one!
- Whatever I do, be it hard work or smart work, I feel I am always underpaid.
- Most people who don't know tech feel my job shouldn't take that long. "Oh, a website that should be easy." "Oh, REST services, that's cute!"
- Most people who know a little tech will be like, "Here is the code for this on Google, then why are you charging this much"
- Companies like Microsoft and Apple who are too cool to follow standards.
- Always underpaid!
- The friggin compilers and random environment vars. Sometimes you make no change and the code works on a restart. I mean wtf!
- Having to give/meet deadlines, when we know most of the times things get out of control.
- Having to work for jerks mostly who don't know squat, and can't tell the difference between a CPU and a Wooden box.
- Sometimes I wanna take a break from my laptop(traveling and stuff) , those are the times I get the maximum work load!
- Did I mention we are always underpaid?
- Because of the kind of work I do, finding a girl has been challenging. Where the heck are they!
- We have to stay always updated. Often we deploy something using a framework and the next day we see an update.
- Speaking of updates, I hate having to support for OSes like Microsoft.
- Speaking of OSes, I hate Apple!
- Speaking of Apple, I feel we are underpaid, de javu?
...
How much would you hate me if I wrote "just kidding" ?3 -
All the time while I'm programming I hate Java.... Don't hate me now :D I'm learning Java in high school. I very love very fast programming languages such as C and C++, so this is why I don't like Java, but there are some reasons why I like Java. I just started learning how to create own window. What the hack is this? This is so simple. I tried to create window in C/C++ with OpenGL, just blank window with color. Complicated..... But with java it's fairy tale.
You can add me now to Java familly, but remember I also love C++.
So here your are, Hello World Java FX app :D
Final goal:
Create window application similar scratch.
16 -
I am speechless! Assigned back to a project after leaving it for four months, went to see tasks, and they are like this:
Q1. Why did't you do this for the app?
A1: Because your team has not yet provided API, how is my team supposed to implement
Q2: Why having this in the app? either x or y not both!
A2: You guys wanted both
Q3: Why is the app showing data that must not be displayed?
A3: Because your server is sending me the data based on the criteria I sent? What else do you expect
and the list goes on ....11 -
Absolutely hate these "moving up", "stairs of success", "we are so diverse!" stock photos all over the internet.
You feel like you are being subtle, fuck no. Unless your target audience is stupid as as fuck, this photos looks dumb and over the top. And what is up with this "diversity" all over the place? don't get me wrong, I am all for diversity. But learn how to apply it properly.
"Looks like we need a picture of a student. Oh no, we need to be diverse. Add 15 kids of 15 different ethincity in the same picture to make sure we looks diverse. Phew!"
And the animations. Holy fucking shite. Why is it that a cheap website immediatly means that your website needs to have 100 different animation in the front page.
Seriously, picture rolling from here and there. Text coming out of nowhere.Everything being squeezed and rotated. God damn it!
This is another reason I fucking hate these 1 click websites and shite like that. This fucking website was created with WiX and my God, it's a fucking nightmare.
Good news is client is recreating the website.3 -
If you like looking at language designers fight on Hacker News (and who doesn't?) go ahead and search for the V programming language or Vlang as it is also called and also for the posts that the creator of Odin lang has done in regards to V langs creator.
Its a shitstorm. Apparently both languages have been designed as alternatives to C (not as in "this will kill C!!" like rust does) and occasionally you will find some posts from the Zig language creator.
Fascinating fights actually, have been able to learn a thing or two about why some ideas concerning language design are whacky etc.
I am also trying to understand language design better, which is the main reason why I appreciate all of them fights.
10/10 best drama series I have seen thus far.11 -
I'm so fucking tired of OOP.
This bullshit never ends. Everyone treats OOP in their own, proper (of course) way. You read tons of those fashion books, like uncle bob and shit. and then comes a dumb asshole that starts reviewing your code, and tells you doing it wrong. FUCK. and you can't tell anything to your TL or PM cuz they are same dumb asholes. Because after you fix all the bullshit from the first asshole, those more responsible assholes come and tell you that you still doing it wrong.
- uh.. bruh, why don't you make interface for everything? that' S.O.L.I.D, you know.. it just right thing.
- bruh, why don't you use enum and switch case. we need a factory.
- bruh, we don't use abstract classes, use interface
- could you rewrite your linq/stream thing into a class and a method. it's just simpler for us. foreach loop is something everyone knows.
well,then go and LEARN the tool you're dealing with, coderfucker.
FUUUUCK.13 -
How difficult is it to do things and do them properly? Clearly in 2019, very difficult. And why on Earth would you do things properly, when there's get rich quick schemes, shortcuts to be found and taken, and that filthy filthy legal tender. If the shitty implementation makes a profit, why do it properly? Makes no sense.
Except it fucking does. And you know why? Because of the guy that comes after you, that works with your fucking bullshit implementation and probably curses you to the moon and beyond in the process. Just like you probably did with the guy that came before you, with that bullshit you got tasked to work with. Don't be that guy. And don't be that guy to the next guy.
Still with me? Good. Here's the thing. You can do [insert job here] quick and dirty. But you're guaranteed to be checking back on it and fixing the crap later on. Or worse yet, someone else will be cursing you to the moon and beyond while they are fixing / working around your crap. So why not do it right in the first place? Is this why we can't have nice things?5 -
So, I'm investigating this flipping problem at work involving mbeans. Other than the fact that it's a fun fucking word to say, idk a damn thing about it, and the people who are having problems with them/it are looking at me like I'm a fucking pregnant triceratops... HOW THE HELL am I supposed to fix your shit if you aren't going to tell me why you need mbeans, what you do to cause the error, and what you do to make it go away. YOU'RE GIVING ME LESS THAN NOTHING... on a temperature scale, we're in negative Kelvin...
Also, anyone know what in the world an mbean in? Because right now, these overpaid idiots are making me think it's not a thing and just another way of saying "coffee"10 -
Don't you just hate when your boss goes like:
"Why isn't this feature working?"
SHIT FUCK, IF I KNEW THE REASON, MAYBE I WOULD HAVE FIXED THAT SHIT, INNIT?
WHAT KIND OF FUCKING QUESTION IS THAT?
"Well you should have tested better"
IT TOOK A MONTH FOR 1 USER TO SEE THAT BUG, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? YOU EXPECT ME TO SEE THAT BUG IN THE FEW HOURS OF TESTING I CAN ACTUALLY DO FOR THIS PROJECT?
"There also are other 15 project to get done"
FUCK THIS SHIT -
There was a computer programming teacher in my 1st semester who taught C. He used to have this conventional way of teaching C like other Engineering subjects which was going to more theories before writing actual codes.
These are the conversations with him.
(First day, a guy asks him some questions.)
Guy: Sir, why do we need to learn C? There are other languages used extensively for other tasks like python,etc. Why bother with this boring C?
Teacher: C is used to learn other languages. After learning C, you can easily learn other languages.
Guy: Sir, where is C's application? Where is it used?
Teacher: It is used in academics to lay foundation for students to learn other languages which are used to build softwares.
(Fucking Hilarious)
(A month after he was asking some questions to students.)
Teacher: What is an array? What is an array-name?
Student 1: Array, is this collection of data that can be stored in a single type.
Teacher: Then what is an array-name?
Student 1: I don't know.
Teacher: (angrily) Array-name is a definition itself.
(We were supposed to answer that. It was a standard definition.)
15 -
Am I the only one who doesn't understand apple card? Like really, it's just the worst pitch ever!
"Apple card. Made by apple. Not a bank" that's a REAL ad I saw today. Why would you trust APPLE more than an FDIC insured bank with decades or (in some select cases) CENTURIES of experience in finance?
"No more card numbers and CVV"
Cool. I get it. Card numbers get leaked and stolen. But that's why banks insure cards and reverse fradulant transactions. How an I'm supposed to use it on Amazon?! I'm sure they have an answer. Like maybe one time use generated cards. But they haven't advertised it yet, and that's a problem!
Why do they think people want this!? And even more so, because I've seen some people are excited: WHY DO PEOPLE WANT THIS?! why is apple trying to make everything?!15 -
"We don't use a VCS like git, what are you opinions on this?" This is great in my opinion. You get to see some people sheepishly agree and say it's fine and try back it up, or people put valid points why they think it's wrong. You can start to gauge a person's personality after a few of those kinds of questions.4
-
Guy sees me on my laptop and says "is that Linux?". I say yes then he says he is into computer "stuff and can hack anything". Not having a clue what that means I replied with a "awesome".
I don't have really any friends that are into "computers", so I decided to play ball.
I asked, "Are you into coding?.. he says, "Yes". Then I ask, " What languages?" He says, " Just what ever, anything really, it depends on what I am doing."
At this point I understand what is going on but it is so awkward. He continues.. "Recently I used.. what's it called abd or adb, you know I like rooted my phone"...
And let's talk about something else....
Why do people feel the need to lie or whatever you might call what happened. It might be different I think if he wasn't about 40.
I feel like this is a pretty common story2 -
So as all of you web developers know. If you are stepping into the world of web development you stepping into a world of unlimited possibilities, opportunities and adventure.
The flip side is that you step into a world of unlimited choices, tools, best practices, tutorials etc.
Since even for a veteran programmer, this is a little overwhelming, I'd like to take the opportunity to ask you guys for advice.
I know that 'there is no best' and that everything 'depends on what you want to achieve'. So how about just say the pro's and cons or when to use and when not to use. Or why you prefer one over another. Everything is allowed! :D
Maybe it will help others too. Start a nice, professional discussion:)
These are the parts I'd like advice about:
- frontend: what frameworks, libraries
- backend: language, framework, good practice
- server: OS, proxy (nginx, Apache, passenger), extra tips (like don't use root user)
- extras: git, GitHub, docker, anything
Thanks in advance everyone willing to help!:)
Also, if you only know frontend or backend. No worries, just tell me about your specialism!6 -
When will medium and its coding tutorials die out already? Why the hell are every fucking post of this plattform so cringy af, like tf why you start your tutorial with a fucking irrelevant meme you dumb asshole? Your code snippet is mostly garbage and you aint explain shit; I am not even sure if the code is yours. Go eat a dick and learn the subject properly before even start to teach people online.6
-
Ok, so I already asked when junior is no longer a junior..got mixed answers. Now I'd like to know what defines seniority level in your country?! Years of experience, having wide range of knowledge, great leadership skills, having boobs (joke).. ?!? But seriously, I have no clue what the standards in my country are, and internet is full of different opinions & examples that are making me wanna go cry in a corner.. o.O
Figured some answers from real people might help me get my head around this, so if it's not too much to ask fellow devs here, please answer this questions to help me grasp this better with examples..& non dev folks, you are welcome to comment too!!
A) What country are you guys from?
B) How is seniority defined there?
C) How are you placed by others?
D) If different, where would you place yourselves? Why?13 -
Question to all you web developers out there: how do you survive long term in this job without going nuts? I have been working in this industry for almost 7 years and feelings of frustration have accumulated, to the point where I honestly feel like laying g bricks as a job would be more rewarding. Here are the main reasons why:
1) The fact that your job is never "finished" and it looks like and endless stream of tasks. Either the project has money being rolled in or is pretty much dead. Ever changing requirements ensure that most of what you do will be rewritten in 6 months or so. This is ok for the most part, but overtime it does give you the feeling that most of your effort was wasted, and you have the same website/app to show for it, slightly different...
2) The never ending churn of tech, particularly in the Javascript/node ecosystem. Sure, there is a good side of learning new approaches of doing things and it brings variety, but there is the dark side that you never feel you are getting better at doing your job, as every new project does not look anything like the previous. Even if all the stack pieces are the same (never happens), everyone sets it up and organises the project differently enough that you have to spend loads of time solving things you have done before. This makes it difficult to get a sense that you are mastering something...
So, if autonomy, purpose, and mastery are the keys to fulfilling work, I find this career lacking in mastery and purpose...does anyone feels/felt the same? How did you counter it?3 -
Tomorrow I will be on a long train trip again so here goes!
My last train project is http://jsrant.com and people seem to enjoy it. Every time I am mentioned in a rant related to it people also mention the idea of a similar application but for in the terminal. So I intend to build that tomorrow.
To build the best thing for you I want to ask you some questions:
- What operating system are you running?
- Why (or how) would you like to use a devrant terminal reader?
- Why would you NOT want to use a devrant terminal reader?
- Would your use-case required obfuscated output? (Hiding it from someone)
- If so, what formats do you use on a daily basis or are you most comfortable with?
- Anything else you would like to mention or for me to consider?
I will be developing the larger part of this tomorrow, but the sources will be made available to the public.9 -
My best code review experience?
Company hired a new department manager and one of his duties was to get familiar with the code base, so he started rounds of code reviews.
We had our own coding standards (naming, indentation, etc..etc) and for the most part, all of our code would pass those standards 100%.
One review of my code was particularly brutal. I though it was perfect. In-line documentation, indentation, followed naming standards..everything. 'Tom' kept wanting to know the 'Why?'
Tom: 'This method where it validates the amount must be under 30. Why 30? Why is it hard-coded and not a parameter?'
<skip what it seemed like 50 more 'Why...?' questions>
Me: "I don't remember. I wrote that 2 years ago."
Tom: "I don't care if you wrote it yesterday. I have pages of code I want you to verify the values and answer 'Why?' to all of them. Look at this one..."
'Tom' was a bit of a hard-ass, but wow, did I learn A LOT. Coding standards are nice, but he explained understanding the 'What' is what we are paid for. Coders can do the "What" in their sleep. Good developers can read and understand code regardless of a coding standard and the mediocre developers use standards as a crutch (or worse, used as a weapon against others). Great developers understand the 'Why?'.
Now I ask 'Why?' a lot. Gotten my fair share of "I'm gonna punch you in the face" looks during a code review, but being able to answer the 'Why?' solidifies the team with the goals of the project.3 -
There's always a moment when your entire codebase starts breaking up piece by piece and you just wonder why did you choose this job, why you are a programmer, why you don't work at a bar or something like that9
-
why do i feel like sOfTwArE cErTifiCaTiOnS are the biggest scam in the world
literally zero prediction of the quality of work you will produce, cuz you could float through them anyway
i guess even more 🤡 is companies that request certain "certifications"
correct me if i'm wrong; are there certifications of the equivalent rigor like the fundamentals of engineering (fe) exam? in this sense, our industry is far behind... though to be fair 90% of software is non life / operational critical like building a freaking bridge is10 -
Client comes to me.
Client: So my business is colour matching, people visit me and I help match outfits they should wear that works with their hair and eye colour etc.
Me: Ok... and?
Client: Well. I'd like to do this online, someone sends a photo in and I assess it and send them a colour palette back.
Me: Right... How are you going to calibrate this?
Client: What do you mean?
Me: Well, it's a nigh on impossible task to ensure the exact tones and hues they send you in their photo to what you see, and likewise what you send back might look very different based on their brightness and contrast. Colour science is actually quite hard.
Client: But I don't understand they just send a picture right?
Me: Yeah, they can send one, but are you going to have a consistent baseline for your laptop, can you guarantee the brightness is at the same level each and every time?
Client: No... Why would that matter?
Me: I'm bored now, I'm not gonna take this project. -
To all frontend webdevs here:
Explain to me how do you cope with all this insane clusterfuckness of frameworks, tools and js libraries.
Why is it so hard for a beginner like me to learn webdev? Android and backend are much more logical and sane. Even Node.js is pretty dope.11 -
Man, my product owner is so fucking annoying. I am 50/50 between two projects when really it feels like I'm 100/100 - and the PO of one of the projects always requests that I join daily stand ups and give updates.
CUNT.
I don't always have updates because I'm working with another team. Why are you trying to micromanage me you fuck face. Also, you know when you get those PO's that are totally useless and don't actually bring any real value to the project except in the capacity of being a slimey charismatic weasel? Yah, that's this person.5 -
TL:DR
Why do so shitty "API"s exist that are even harder to write than proper ones? D:
Trying to hack my venilation at home.
This API is so horrible D:
The API is only based on POST requests no matter if you want to write values or get values and the response only contains XML with cryptic values like:
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<PARAMETER>
<LANG>de</LANG>
<ID>v01306</ID>
<VA>00011100000000000000000010000001</VA>
<ID>v00024</ID>
<VA>0</VA>
<ID>v00033</ID>
<VA>2</VA>
<ID>v00037</ID>
<VA>0</VA>
Also there are multiple API routes like
POST /data/werte1.xml
POST /data/werte2.xml
POST /data/werte3.xml
POST /data/werte4.xml
And actually the real API route is only given in the request body and not in the path.
Why is this so shitty? D:<
Btw in terms of security this is also top notch. It just globally saves if one computer sends the login password.
I mean why even ask for a password then? D:
That made me end up with a cronjob to send a login request so I don't have to login on any device.
PS:
You see, great piece of German engineering.3 -
>import ENi18n
>import ZHi18n
en = {…ENi18n, moreStuff}
zh = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffZH}
pt = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffPT}
“Hey man can you fix this? Seems like we are missing the Portuguese i18n. Check this file please (path)”
“I’m sorry I don’t understand, can you call me and explain?”
Why do I need to explain this? What is difficult to grasp here? How can it take more than 20 seconds to know what to do here? It’s not even a file I made, you made it and I just ran into it!
Fuck man, I’m going to blow my brains out.2 -
I gave this so called web developer username and password to ssh into our server. This is his reply:
"Hey we tried to log into your server. We are getting permission error. Please fix that"
Me: Sure, can you tell me how are you trying to connect?
"We tried to ssh like this: ssh root@xxx.com"
Me (in my mind): WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU USING ROOT FOR!?!9 -
interviewee : *Appeared for JavaScript interview, in shorts with messy hair *
interviewer : why are you like this *with disgust feeling*
interviewee : I exactly don't know what this refers to
interviewer : can we talk about package2 -
no fucking documentation
no fucking explaination
and your example doesn't even work
let's just run around in circles until we all die
waiting to exit this 🤡 world
yeah, i know, everyone is like "why can't you chill more"
because this what we are stuck doing 8-9 hour a day!!!!!! this is literally our lives just wasting away!!!! and it's not even fun anymore; you can't enjoy it if everyone is so fucking incompetant any step at being productive is fucking battle
god so sick of it4 -
For the last week or so I've been writing a userbot for Telegram. Completely from scratch, plus Telethon to not reinvent the wheel entirely. I'm coming from the codebase of an existing userbot.
That userbot is written by a good friend of mine, who makes 6 figures, and whom I respect greatly. However the code is a steaming pile of shit. Now that is not his fault, he largely inherited that code too, tried to fix it, failed, gave up.
I am reimplementing it entirely. I'm only looking at the modules, trying to understand them, and copying over the necessary bits and changing them where necessary. But I've come across some nasty shit.
Userbots often edit existing messages from real Telegram clients. They're kind of like a login to your account, but with a program rather than a regular client. You send a message from a real client, it sees it and does whatever it needs to, and edits your message to give you feedback. Which is great.
However, there's no need to do simple string edits by importing "re". So why do you? Because you're an idiot, that's why. The old bot is based on Paperplane, which in turn is based on Telethon. Why do I see function calls to Telethon in some places and Paperplane in others? Because you're an idiot, that's why. Why does the dig module fail to even give correct answers? Because you know nothing about the DNS, that's why. And you didn't learn about RRs before implementing it.
And don't you tell me that this code is shit, and this bot is slow only when I run it on a fucking Pentium. I run this shit on an i7 and CPU isn't even the issue - memory, disk and such are. If you had any clue whatsoever about efficiency, you would've known because it's blatantly obvious. There's a reason why my machines rarely go past 5% CPU utilization. It's the fastest component in the entire fucking system.
When users come and say.. hmm this application of yours, it consumes a lot of memory. It takes a long time to do X and Y and I don't quite understand why, it seems illogical. Then maybe you should go look at your code, like you would look at yourself in the mirror. And then you fucking go fix it so that I don't have to. You're an engineer just like I am. And I am not even a dev proper - I'm a sysadmin by trade. Why should I have to fix your shit for you?1 -
Updated an online profile on a jobsite this morning for a frontend job. Got called this afternoon:
Recruiter: “i have this great frontend opportunity for you. Are you interested and can i mail the vacancy over?”
Me: “yes i’m looking for something so mail it and i’ll get back at you”
A few moments later...
Recruiter mailed a backend function
This is why people don’t like to work with recruiters.3 -
Win 10 on ARM will not make it. Here's why:
- The devices are ridiculously overpriced.
- Performance is abysmal with emulation.
- Native ports are rare because nobody buys the devices.
- MS doesn't get it.
Instead of addressing the chicken and egg problem, MS even fucks up more: Win 10 S, which is usually pre-installed, can only run shit from the app store. Yeah MS, you think just because Apple gets away with this crap, so can you? Newsflash, Windows isn't iOS, and you aren't Apple.
Even VS 2019 doesn't install the ARM toolchains by default. Because, why would MS entice devs to address ARM64 as conveniently as possible?
MS will just keep gawking at Apple like a pig at a clockwork, and Win 10 on ARM will go down like Windows Phone.31 -
I strongly dislike people who don't even try to gather information by themselves before asking others.
Now, I'm sure ALL of you have seen this, when someone has a problem with their code, printer, etc they ask you or someone else before just Googling the answer. Like ffs, you really think that you're so special that you feel like other people should Google stuff for you, like I need you to understand that you're not special, you're not unique and there's a VERY high chance someone has has the exact problem as you.
The most common question I see on Discord as a whole is "who ping" or "why ping" or something related. Ffs Discord had a fucking button that tells you who pinged you (yes I know that the sender can delete the message, but this is rarely the case and I always check before getting mad)
On a somewhat related note, I never understood why people ask "who are you" especially when they have a name tag or whatever (and double especially if it's online) like what do you expect them to say? Do you want their life story?16 -
I don't need you to reiterate what the problem is. I am aware. I was the one who told you what the problem is. Via email and Slack. Why do you keep restating it to me like you are the one who figured out? I know the table isn't syncing with the third party object. I'm trying to figure out WHY. No amount of "I'm pretty sure the sync process is broken" will trigger a solution. Stop coming into my office every 5 minutes with a new "revelation" that wasn't even your own. This isn't my code, and since the owner of said code is not here to fix it, I have to spend some time figuring out how this damn thing works. SO PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET ME WORK SO I CAN FIX THIS2
-
"Why would you make your own when you can just get one for like $30 online?"
One of the single most disheartening things I've heard from a peer.
Seriously, are you really so incompetent and dependent upon other people's work that you can't even come up with a single reason why I would do this?! Don't you dare try to call yourself an engineer. Call yourself a cheat, cause that's the only way you passed that class.
Even after explaining that making it yourself is one of the best ways to learn about/understand it, they still couldn't understand.3 -
To all people who hardcoded stuff like tables in HTML and even rant about how much work this was or how many lines of code they wrote, please stop the madness, please don't talk until you get the basics of programming and why computers are quite handy to handle repetitive tasks.4
-
Rant time of 'Derp & Co.'
Today I decided that I am going to find another job, I just can't keep with this shit.
They said that use Agile: FALSE.
• Daily (best scenario) take like 1 hour and a half.
• New task enter the sprint and "Fuck you, more task in the same time". This is something regular done.
• "Oh, dev, we need you to check this other project" I am in the middle of my sprint on this project. "But you have to fix this bug here". (3 fucking days the bloody bug) "You are late again with tasks".
• Meeting for fresh sprint: 6 BLOODY hours... nonstop
The workflow is garbage:
• SOMEONE should did all the devops shit on the first sprint, guess what? They did nothing!, guess now who is being blamed for it (not only me, but a few coworkers).
• Nothing is well designed/defined:
~ task are explained like shit
~ times measured wrongly
~ We are in the last fucking SPRINT and still doing de ER of the DataBase cause Oh, apparently no one has work before with SQL (damn you MongoDB! (Not really)) so I am doing my best, but "jezz dev, this is so hard... maybe we can do it WRONG and easy".
~ No one is capable of take responsability of their mess, they just try to push down the problems. (Remember the devops situatuion? Why is.my fault? I came at the 3 or 4 sprint and I am doing backend tasks, I know nothing about devops).
But the big prize, the last one:
• Apparently you can't send whatever you want to the boss, it has to pass a filter previously of coordinators and managers, hell yeah!
And I am an idiot too!
because I see that we can't reach our schedule and do hours on my spare time!
This is because there are a few good coworkers who probably ended with my unfinished tasks... and they are equaly fucked as me...
This is just the tip of the iceberg. I am not a pro, I am not a full stack developer and still need to learn a lot, but this is just not normal, eight months like this...3 -
People hate Amazon, people like to hate on Amazon.
But people also keep buying from Amazon
This morning I took an amazon return package to DHL and literally at 17:00 this day (the same day!) I got the refund to my bank account
What the fuck. I mean yeah I hate amazon as much as the next guy. But that's literally why people are buying from amazon. You can't just say "amazon bad" and then not also appreciate when they are doing something good12 -
Why the fuck everyone in indian game dev industry is obsessed with unity fuckkkkkk !
Don't you know you only need some lite runtime like OGL or SDL for those shitty "hyper casual" games
Also why the fuck is an experience in building hyper casual games is a requirement isn't this side scroller hack and slash knockoff good enough for you to know I'm competent enough
Fuck you dumb shit for brains people who are heating up phones by using unity just for a shoot the hoops game.7 -
I like devrant because this is the only place where I feel that I'm surrounded by intelligent people, and honestly, I needed this badly.
Why are you here?16 -
WE TEST ON THE STAGING SITE. I DON'T BUST MY ASS WITH A SEPARATE STAGING API AND HTTPS://STAGING.WHATEVERTHEFUCKYOUWANTOBUILD.COM/..., SO THAT YOU CAN MESSAGE ME THAT NOTHING IS WORKING. THAT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ON THE STAGING SITE. IF I HAVE TO REMIND YOU AGAIN, I AM NEVER TALKING TO A NON TECHNICAL PERSON AGAIN
THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME. ITS LITERALLY LIKE A BROKEN RECORD SO WHY DO I EXPECT ANYTHING TO CHANGE, EVERY CLIENT IS THE SAME, EVERY TIME, GOD I HATE IT MAKE IT STOP4 -
this happened two months before,
there's a UI designer guy at my office when I was about to leave the office he gave me a web page UI which has to be done by the next day.
Next day I started working on that page when I was halfway done he came to my desk and said: "there're some changes in design, the client doesn't like this part and this."
I'm like, why the fuck you didn't take client confirmation on the first place that's a fucking basic and first thing need to do. Just like the client you are a fuckin idiot. And now we don't hang out anymore. -
Why Microsoft, why.
We have our own Powershell Scripts to delete unwanted apps that are installed from Microsoft on Windows 10, like XBOX app.
I installed a new workstation for a new worker and deleted the apps with the scripts.
The Day the new worker arrived, it was my task to give him an introduction, what Programs we are using and so on.
Worker logs into machine and opens Startmenu.
All Apps that I have deleted with the scripts are back!
Why, you ask. Because Microsoft made it so, that when a new user logs in on a machine he has never been before, every single apps that has been deleted is reinstalled.
I'm searching for a method to shut this down for good.
Help is much appreciated.5 -
Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarfffffffddddd
Motherfucking shitty depression kicks me around like a fucking wet teabag.
Shit doesn't get done
Motherfuckers are annoying me
And this constant whining....
Why can't we have new hardware....
Because it's fucking 'rona and you had a motherfucking frigging shitty ticket to clean the shit up so we don't need frigging fucking new hardware that takes ages to delivered
Now I have to give a seminar thx to some special guys showing up stoned on work law....
... Getting chewed out by management and tons of laughter was exactly the extra care package I needed… thx for the nice reminder that you are all shitbags.
I love my job and the team mates close me.
But the rest of the people seemingly nuked their brain and are really grinding their teeth down my emotional barriers.
Why is everyone seemingly obsessed with stupidity since Corona began...
<deep breath>
2 more days.
Remember, just 2 more days.
Weekend is near...1 -
This is for all those people that like dark themes and when asked why you say it's because light attracts bugs.
I would like to explain how that is just so wrong. Bugs attracted to light are moths and a few other flying bugs.
The rest of the bugs live and thrive in darkeness. Cockroaches, bedbugs, spiders etc.
In fact mosquitoes hunt at night and prefer to hunt in the dark.
I just had to put this out there.6 -
I just love when:
Programmer: I just hate people working with X language. They are so average and can't reach a thing...
Me: Yes, of course, but you also work but with the X full-time, right?
Programmer: Well yes, why?
Me: oh nothing, just wondered...
And in my career I've seen so many cases like this... They all whine that X is bad, Y is for noobs but still continue to work with it themselves...4 -
Anybody loves python? I don't know why, but the more I use python, the more I seem to hate it. Specially the poor naming of the functions are just horrible! specially when you've been following the #CleanCodePrinciple strictly.
Let me give some example:
What does even "len" or "str" mean normally? is it a variable or a function? can anybody imagine?
where as in Java or JavaScript it is array.length and anyValue.toString()
anybody can understand what these things are, whether a variable or a function.
in python some functions are like "dothisorthat" and some are "do_this_or_that" some are "doThisOrThat". I mean, why can't you just follow an unified rule?
and there's this fragmentation between python 2 and 3! whether in stackoverflow or in youtube/udemy, a lot of them used python 2 and some uses python 3. I mean, can't they have some BackworkSupports?19 -
My fellow developer just sits next to me and is very nice person. But he keeps peeping into my screen and say -
"oh, why are you looking into x "
"oh, so you looking into y"
"oh, there is blog post on this"
It really turns me off :x
How to tell him politely that I don't like this.16 -
We have the funniest and weirdest conversations during lunch, most of them not dev related. Have been thinking about ranting them for a while now because they are just good fun.
The following one brought a bit of a discussion so It convinced me to post it because i would like to hear all of your opinions about this one:
Imagine that one day you come home and there is a (deep) clone of yourself having sex with your wife, what would you do?
We got divided into 3 groups mostly.
Group one would send him away and let him life his own life.
Group two would make use of the fact that there are 2 of them.
Group three would murder him, the explanation Why Was quite interesting, because it was the first instinct of them, it would also have been from the clone, that's why that had to.
Again I would like to hear what you all would do :)
Maybe if this one does okay I will post more stories11 -
Treat software development like a trade. Because it is one.
Would you hire someone to build a shed for you if you needed to supply the hammer and saw and they needed to read a "How to Build Sheds" book to just get started? No, you wouldn't.
So why would you hire someone that doesn't have any kind of ready-to-go dev environment?
Why would you hire someone that doesn't understand the basics of this field?
Why do you expect employees to stop what they are doing and teach the new guy everything he should already know, or be able to figure out on his own based on his own experience?23 -
DO NOT LIE ON YOUR RESUMÉ!
I don't understand why people do this. I understand that some shady recruiters like to "gin up" the occasional resumé, but I'm talking about the people who write that they're familiar with MySQL and can't even write a SELECT, or the people who write that they're familiar with Python and can't describe the differences between v2 and v3.
And the interviews are awkward as *fuck*.
I: "So it says you're good at MySQL, could you answer a few questions about it?"
C: "Uhh... okay"
I (sensing danger): "Why would you add an index to table that already exists?"
C: "I.. don't know"
I (oh jesus I see where this is going): "Okay, we'll skip that. How would you query across a couple of tables?"
C: "Uh...."
I ([internally screaming]): "How about a single query on a single table?"
C: "I don't know that, sorry..."
I (desperately wanting to ask why the FUCK is MySQL on your resumé?): "Thank you for your time, we'll call you."
You almost feel sorry for the guy, but come the fuck on, did you think nobody would check?19 -
I live in a 3rd world country so we don’t have a lot of technological advancements as compared to to developed countries. This means true technological talent is very rare maybe 0.01% of the people in the space, which in this case is programming. Why then do these dumb Fucks who didn’t even score good enough grades to attend any computer science related course which aren’t even that high, so high minded(pun may be intended). Seriously every time i meet someone somewhat capable in their domain e.g. mobile devs or frontend devs, talk like they can move the fucking world and change the course of humanity but when you ask them to pass down the knowledge you will receive a fuck u note of no reply. This pisses me off because I thought because of our slow progress in catching up with the world we would have communities that aim to expand the knowledge of everyone and help everyone help themselves.
I write this because I’ve attended so many meetups around my area and every time I ask someone for help to get to some enlightenment as they have the reply is always put down your email and I’ll send it to you and this is the last you ever hear from them.
The worst part is you’ll see them bragging on local forums about how awesome they are and see them poking holes at other peoples attempts. Seriously if you are so great why aren’t the tech giants of the world salivating over your talents.
Personally I believe that these people are afraid that once they pass the knowledge someone will beat them at it and they won’t be as “awesome” as they initially thought.
That said not everyone is like this we have some good eggs in the basket. To the others I would like to let them know that we can’t know everything and someone somewhere is always gonna be better than us, a candle never loses its light by lighting another candle. If you are one of these people please try and make a change. You never know what’ll come out of it.1 -
Damn, this delicate 15.6" piece of plastic I call my laptop is the reason I have to tolerate stupid curious college-mates. Whenever I open it, everyone is like woah dude, you are a coder! does it have porn ? or games ?
yeah mann fuck you . its 2018 , I don't play pc games and I can watch porn online . can you fucktards just leave me alone and let me work ?
Why don't we have cheap laptops with good specs but smaller screens? like 7" or 9"
fucking CSE college pervs acting like babies :/8 -
Pet Peeve... If you are a creator, you are largely doing technical content, and the channel is not about your personality. Then I don't want to see your stupid face. I want to see technical info like text, graphics and block diagrams. I don't exactly know why this bothers me, but it does.6
-
So we've got a gif that doesn't show up in our React Native application. Of course, the designers assume it's me: "are you sure the gif is in the codebase? how are you using it in your component"? yeah ok boomer. I'm like, look at this other gif, works fine. "oh" So I tell them, double check the export options on how you are building the gif, maybe there is something there. so now they are asking ME for those export options. I'M A DEV, NOT A DESIGNER, DO YOUR JOB AND FIGURE IT OUT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT PROGRAM YOU ARE USING
oh as an aside, I was putting up a website for a client and they are like "my logo is quite similar to many others, is this something to worry about legally?" OH, SO NOW I'M A LAWYER TOO??!!?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE GOOGLE IS LITERALLY IN FRONT OF YOU
why do people continually think just because we can code we are fucking designers / lawyers / astronauts
/ god?
man this pisses me off - i think of that draw red lines with blue ink expert video, in the end, just smile and nod: "i can do... absolutely anything... trust me, I'm an expert"4 -
A user calls me an hour after I'm supposed to have logged off.
"Hey, ahh, like, something is not good with, like, some thing"
Oh, snap! What happened?
"There is, like, this report, and it's, like, not right?"
Oh, the report is showing wrong data? Let me try to get a fresh version and...
"No, like,the data is right, but, like, there is many reports and , like, should be only one?"
Oh, you mean the report consolidation feature? It should only happen if the reports are fully compatible, and since it's automatic if the reports are not already grouped it means that they cannot be grouped. Probably due to this shopping season, we've seen a high uptick in demand.
"But, like, it should be, like, one! If not I will have to type in each report, like, by hand! I usually talk to this guy XYZ and he, like, does something that I, like, have no idea what it is. Can you call him up?"
(The dude the user mentioned logged off hours ago, and is in a different timezone. It's now about 11PM for him.)
It might not be possible. The system should add observations to each report it cannot consolidate. What do those say?
(the user takes two seconds to respond. I don't think they checked anything)
"It doesn't say anything. Can you cal XYZ, please?"
...
Shit, why do people wait until the last few hours of the last day of the month to do something that should have been done days ago and then demand that everybody everywhere just adjust to their late-ass schedule?
And then to demand I wake up a hardworking dev because someone is to lazy to use the system as it was custom designed for them? Because it had no problems but just wasn't making all things easy?
That's why users have to pay - they don't pay us to code, they pay us to put up with their bullshit.2 -
The only type of client I like being, is a hostile one.
That's why I intend to answer every question of the dev team, with a question.
"So would you like this banner to be blue, or green?"
Does green evoke the same emotions as blue?
"Probably not, but we're asking you so we know how to finish the design..."
Does a design have a will of its own?
"Ok... What do you think about the new e-mail feature?"
Does anyone use e-mail nowadays?
"There are plenty of people who use e-mail professionally."
Are you a professional?
"I don't think this collaboration is going to work out"
Are we done?
(Parody of Ron Swanson) -
Toughest part of dev interviews? There are multiple I can think of.
Getting an interview altogether in this dumpster fire of an economy.
Negotiating salary (i.e. prevent getting a low-ball offer)
When the interviewer is a dev themselves and they get on a power trip and ask you the toughest/trickiest questions.
Convincing the interviewer that something you don't know now can be learned later just by googling and tinkering around.
Trying not to burst out in anger when you get asked stupid questions like "Why aren't you married?"9 -
Why the fuck are you making me put in my email to look at a computer desk? I saw an ad and was curious about it and the price, so I clicked the ad. I don't give a shit and don't actually plan to buy anything, just let me look asshats.
Shit like this is why you have an email inbox with 650,087 emails about a fucking privacy policy update.
2 -
After drilling yourself with links and resources, documentation and cant execute what you want. You leave it.
Some time later you go back and you are like why the hell didnt I understand this it's so simple :/ and it literally says what to do.
This is when I became a calm developer. Don't rush yourself. If you want to quickly do something. READ dont just look 🙃
Also, don't persist with understand the official docs. The third party explanations will show you flames 80% of the times if you are learning something new.2 -
!Rant But this is hilarious 😂
Appraisal interview of Gayle:
Gayle:- Sir, I scored 211 Runs in 118 Balls. I made the team win the crucial match. I should get “A” rating.
Management:- You hit 17 Sixes and 23 Fours. Though, that is good but that is not something new you have done. That is why we hired you. As this is not something new, I will mark it as “Innovation Lacking”.
Gayle:- But sir, I played according to the situation. I took 21 singles as well.
Management:- Exactly, your performance is not consistent. You played 15 Dot Balls as well. This means, you failed to optimize the resources.
Gayle:- But…
Management:- Also, I would like to mention that you are not a team player. The whole team scored 112 and you all alone made 211.
Gayle:- What??
Management:- Yes. So, overall, you are getting a “C” rating for the year. Improve Consistency, Innovation, Utilization and Team Work...1 -
During the job interview faking your smile like you understand WTF they are saying. Deep inside your heart thinking why you are not rich and you badly need this job.
-
There are no stupid or dumb questions. A lot of headache has been and could have been saved by one person asking what seemed like a stupid question.
I would now expand on this to say that if the question is procedural in the sense that it’s asking “what” or “how”, you should make every attempt to come to an answer yourself and then ask for clarification. If the question revolves around “why”, there are no stupid questions. A lot can be overlooked in a cascade of moving pieces.2 -
Are my rants supposed to be well documented, too? Or like submitted as if it’s a GitHub issue, where I shall add details such as what’s not working, how do you expect it to work, steps to replicate the bug, screenshots?
Why tf am I even overthinking this?! Lmao8 -
Why is every innovation trying to go towards "replacing programmers"? like, what have we done to you?
GitHub CoPilot will replace programmers!
AI will replace programmers!
This/That tech will replace programmers!
Nobody says,
"Programmers work remote so we don't need to hire managers anymore!"
"Programmers wrote a monitoring script for progress tracking, so no need for managers anymore!"
"We are asking people to install sprinklers everywhere so we don't need firefighters!"
"We can just have one teacher record the subject material once and re-use the same video every year, so now we don't need to hire teachers anymore!"
"We are making everything legal so we don't need to hire policemen!".
Why is everything trying to replace programmers?8 -
Fiddling with the UiPath RPA tool. What the fuck is this monster?
So, you create apps by drawing a flowchart, like some kid using Scratch. Then, suddenly, you have to create a .NET object just to get a random number!
Who the fuck is the target audience that can create objects, call a directory read function, etc, but can't write a loop?! Show me that fucking person.
Then I have to debug the fucking selectors when they don't work correct. All this requires is understanding how UIs are structured under the hood. So, you know that a menu bar is a window, but you need to draw a fucking if statement?!
And how would you debug and manage this monstrosity?
It like we learned nothing from all the Excel apps we build for decades.
I mean, it's an impressive app. But, why does it exist?
Someone needs to stop this before it gets out into the wild or we'll all be debugging flowchart a created by business analysts.
You have been warned. Join the fight or accept the consequences.1 -
I don't think the Internet became toxic because of anonymity like all those people claimed post-90s
I think it became toxic because normal people with their real life cultures found it and brought their real life cultural norms onto it
I've been thinking why are video games communities so much more holistic than other types of communities
the last few years this is becoming less and less the case, however
and now even games suck.
games now, instead of their old cultures, are becoming derivative plain cultures
everything has to be easy, meaningless, shallow
everybody has to follow the meta or people rage at you with their entitlements to your behaviour
it's exactly like real life!
mystery solved11 -
Had a bad day at work :( They gave me this code for some obscure streaming job and asked me to complete it. Only after 3 days did I realize that the LLD given to me was incorrect as the data model was updated. Another 2 more days, I was able to debug the code and run it successfully— I was able to parse the tables and generate the required frame but not able to stream it back to the output topic as per the LLD. That’s where I needed help but none of my emails/messages were replied to. The main guy who is pretty technical scheduled a code review session with me— I expected that I would run the code and he would spot it something I might’ve missed and why my streaming function isn’t working. Instead, what happened was that he grilled me on each and every line of the code (which had some obscure tables queried) and then got super mad at me saying “Why are we having this code review session if your code is not complete?”. I’m like bruh, you asked for it, and yes, the main parsing logic is done and I’m just having this issue in the last part. And he’s like “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”. Wtf?! I left at least 5 emails and a dozen messages. He’s like this has to go live on Monday, and I’m like Ok, I’ll work in the weekend. And he’s like “Don’t tell me all these things! You’re not doing me a favor by working on weekends! How am I to ask my colleagues to connect with you separately on Saturday/Sunday? You should have done the on the weekdays itself. What were you doing this whole week?”. Bruh, I was running the code multiple times and debugging it using print statements. All while you were ignoring my attempts to reach out to you. SMH 🤦♂️ I can go on and on about this whole saga.4
-
Cellphone sizes keep on increasing. The only phone under 5 inches that are worth buying are all iPhones.
I've been using Android phones since HTC dream. Looks like I'll have no choice but to switch to iPhone this or next year.
What phone do you use? Do you like big phones? Why?
I have small hands :(27 -
On the beginning of a project I'm not yet ( 😒 ) taking part of I questioned the use of firebase because I understood the client was gonna ask for the web app to be hosted on their servers lately, but people told me not to worry.
Today... Only 2 fucking months later they are asking for the specifications/technologies used so they can prepare their server to host it and I was laughing my ass out internally while saying to my boss:
Well, looks like you are gonna need to rewrite huge parts and probably write a back end from scratch if you are gonna use postgresql.
Lol, why do people never listen to me? This is becoming ridiculous.... -
People, even on devrant, are complaining about having to change their Twitter passwords. A major security event is not the only occasion to change your password (for anything).
You should change your passwords for everything regularly. Like, once every month or two.
This is why password managers are brilliant.5 -
The fuck is up with venv, conda, pip, pip3, python3, CRYPTOGRAPHY_OPENSSL_NO_LEGACY and "you can't install packages in docker based environments" DUDE STOP WHAT THE FUCK
How the fuck is that the scripting language of choice? It has by far the most confusing and messy runtime setup. Like it's easier to make sense of Javas version-shenanigans than this bullshit.
And then you think well what gives. Runs > python ...
"This environment is externally managed and you can go kill yourself, JUST LOOK UP PEP-666" LIKE NO YOU FUCK, JUST RUN THE FUCKING SCRIPT!
It's nice you thought about separation of versions but DOCKRR DOCKER DOCKER THERE ARE CONTAINERS WHY THE FUCK DO YOU DO SOME BULLSHIT WITH ENVS IN FOLDERS REQUIRING SOME RUNTIME BULLSHIT WHAT NO STOP WWHYYY5 -
Spend literally two days trying to figure out why I have a 2 hour offset in my timezones for a lamp web app. This isn't even close to my first timezone rodeo.
Check logs, reset Apache/MySQL/PHP timezones in like 100 places. Use 3rd party server side and client side timezone libraries. Moment.js you say? Shit works like a charm... but is, of course, still two hours off.
MySQL is right. PHP is right. Apache is right. PHP libs are in place. Finally convert the entire damn project to use epoch time because I have a deadline, I have no more time to read backwater AWS docs and try to figure out why the hell this Ubuntu EC2 is fucked up, and I literally cannot figure out why in the hell the damn clock is off.
Several days later notice a variable in the main .config file... right in root... 2 hour timezone offset.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.8 -
I’m really struggling to see WHY IN THE HELL it was necessary to delete my FUCKING NETWORK PROFILES to update this FRUIT FUCKED ALUMINUM SHIT BOX!
How did they test this and be like, oh, yea, you can’t connect automatically to ANY of the WiFi networks you have saved, because we deleted all the network profiles. That is acceptable, it won’t cause anyone any real problems.
Sure you need to update some shit. But why are you even touching that part of the disk? Damn you filthy lying fruit fuckers! -
Why the heck is Office so incompatible with everything??? They have their own proprietary standards for Word, Powerpoint and Excel and then implement them WRONG. WTF?
And don't get me started on Outlook: MSG files are the worst horsecrap ever, why can't you use EML like a normal mail application? Not to mention the complete incompatibility with CSS in mails. Nooooo you have to design everything with tables and images like we are still in the 90s. WHAT YEAR IS IT? Everytime i have to work with this boolshit i can feel sweaty Steve Ballmer scream "DEVELOPERS!!!" right in my fuckin' face.
The real cherry on top is their permanent advertisement being shoved up your ass. The stuff is all over the place! When you register a new mail account via IMAP they open Edge and prompt you to give them your phone number so they can send you a download link to their stupid Outlook app. I could understand that if the Office suite would be free... but it isn't! I effectively pay a shitton of money to see ads.
Why is everyone still using these applications?4 -
I love working doing tasks like moving boxes.
Move 10 boxes from point A to point B. Simple, you know what to do. and you know when you are finished.
I Hate tasks such as: Change this Icon to other icon. (C++) Because it takes me 3 fucking hours to find in code where the fuck this happens! And every time my first instinct when I don't know something is go to the internet and search for it. But in this case I CaN't!.
Wife: asking why I'm browsing the internet looking at memes.
Because I Don't Know where the fuck I need to be to finish my task! And I am stuck in this repeating loop of searching in code, looking at memes and being ashamed of myself that I did not this fucking simple task in like 10 minutes.
And after 3 hours of doing basically NOTHING. I don't dare to ask a colleague about everything.
Please send help....4 -
What the absolute fuck is this!
Fucking bash needs to get its shit together with its fucking strings.
I don't fucking know why str1 + var2 = var2tr1
Like who designed this fucking bullshit!
I've spent the past 8 hours today counting all my ' and " and making sure everything is getting passed correctly.
And how do you even google this shit anyways!
And why the fuck is the official suggestion from the bash FAQ to load everything into an array and to call it with "${ARRAY[@]}"
WHO THE FUCK DECIDED THAT WAS READABLE!!
AUGH!!!
In case anyone was wondering. It didn't work anyways.
I think I'm done for today... I can't anymore...
for anyone wondering. This is bash getting executed by nodejs with execSync()
and those tokens are temporary and only exist on my dev machine. Sorry for getting your hopes up.
11 -
Apparently my learning style is more rote memorization than learn-by-doing and I've been trying to learn by doing for years as a hobbyist.
It took a fucking *national quarantine* to get me to try something different and I'm blown away.
What would have taken me many months to learn I've all but grasped in detail in a matter of 20 hours of study over the course of a week.
Fuck you javascript. I WIN THIS ROUND. No more looking at the documentation for stupid shit like how to write a regex, or why everything is wrapped in fucking parenthesis (IIFE), or why
I keep getting a uncaught reference exception.
The important thing to realize about learning is NEVER be obstinate about it. Try many things, and don't get stuck in one way of learning unless you know thats what works for you.
This is why having study partners and mentors are important.
I think experience/practice and rote learning work in tandem. Rote learning lets you skip the much longer step of grasping the fundamentals, bootstrapping the process of learning the abstractions that are composed of those fundamentals.
I'm still adding cards to my anki flash card deck, but if anyone wants it I'm willing to share. It's mostly just 1. practice questions, 2. detail questions (what are the types? What does this regex do?, etc), 3. implication questions (heres this bit of code. It's XYZ, why did it fail? Correct it.), combining core details to memorize, and the application of the facts learned.
It helped me to learn and I'm apparently retarded, so if you're new to programming and want to learn JS, it can probably help you too. Unless you're more of a tard than me lol.1 -
Meetings would be better without people.
I mean I like the IDEA of meetings...
Honestly I'm the type of person who if I could would schedule lots of meetings to make sure we're all on the same page, and to be sure the thing is going to do the thing everyone wants / get their perspective, etc. I really want to KNOW what the folks who are going to use this thing need / want / what works best for them.
On the other hand I know that meetings are often more like:
Me: "Ok let's so here's our data, now tell me what fields they want to edit and so forth."
People: "All of them."
Me: "Uh, no you don't want that or they'll break everything ... X, Y and Z require those fields for A, B, and C to work."
Me: "Let's go field by field and you tell me if they need to edit it, and why."
People: "Yeah this first one they have to be able to change this one."
Me: "Wait no, that's the primary key for that table, I don't know why that's on this list but no you can't change that."
People: "Yeah we have to be able to change that."
Me: "No, you can't, do you even know what that number IS?"
People: "Um... no ..."
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻2 -
Human-robot studies suck.
Like, why do I even have to compare dumbass humans to computers? Or why should I even make my robot human friendly? Why can't humans be robot friendly? Example: Robot says beep, you get out of the way. Why should the poor robot do so much planning because humans are too stupid to move out of the way? How is this fair?6 -
Starting a project with someone that programs like an idiot on steroids. Like, why are you using 20 switch statements to set a variable instead of of just a single line linear expression. I removed hundreds of lines from one of this ass's files. I've never seen such a complicated mess of garbage.5
-
I don't scream because my teams are in a different country and we communicate by IM and email.
I do write long ranting/passive-aggressive emails or type really quick replies when I'm pissed though. .
An example of the latter:
Boss: I need you to make a "quick" fix...
Me: hmm ok sounds like we should implement it like ...
Boss: I was thinking something like this... since it's a temp fix
Need: (typing faster) why is it a temp fix... why not builds it properly so it can be reused
Boss: but that takes time, this is quicker
Me: it's bad design because ... (Typing so fast I'm making typos)... Anyway I can do it. This is better...
Boss: ... ok fine... if you can finish it before deadline6 -
Don't forget to give the developers the opportunity to innovate. Nobody wants to sit and type out the same structures day after day. That's not why we got into this job. We like solving problems. In my current team we set aside some time every sprint to spend on individual innovation. Super useful as it gives us the chance to break out from the standard chugging of the backlog and spend some time trying to solve some of the trickier problems and bringing improvements back to the product that we discovered by messing around with stuff. If you are reading this and you are in charge of a development team, try this out for a sprint or 2.2
-
Oh ffs, just fucking inject a chip into my finger already for authentication purposes, you can track my every fucking move if you so wish. When a web page like twitch uses 2FA it boggles my mind because its a page where you're watching some fucking videos.
"hey there, so out of the blue, we send you a code to your email, we won't tell you which so good luck. Also, you cannot copy paste this code because we did that fucking thing where each character has its own textbox"
Of course, this is only because we are dumb enough to reuse shitty passwords. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.31 -
Ever heard of this custom ROM called Unleash-OS ?
Well if you've not, you're doing really well in your life. If you're happy, you can scroll away right now.
And in case you want to test strength of your happiness.
Just see here :
https://github.com/Unleash-OS/...
If you still are happy, you're pretty damn happy person. If you're not well I'm sorry, it'll just take you 10 minutes to recover.
The reason why I ranted about this is that I want everyone to be sane and NEVER do some shit like this.
Peace !1 -
I swear to god "old school" C++ devs are menace to humanity
Why yes let's make this one line long function, that could even be constexpr, and make it a macro.
Why the fuck not, let's make compiler errors worse by foregoing any type checking. Let's throw away namespacing as well, great.
Fuck you.
I shouldn't have to dig through 4 levels of nested macros just cause "muh performance" and "we've always done it like that".
Shit yourself.8 -
But Why ??
Saw this I a project that my company wanted me to fix and maintain. There are more hilarious things like this. (I will keep you updated)
and I am finding things like this in the code.
2 -
Some """friend""" of mine asked me help because he has trouble installing WAMP on a Linux distro.
Me: why don't you try to install a LAMP server instead, you are on Linux, you can do whatever you want.
Him: LAMP is not a thing, this doesn't exist, there's no package called like that.
Me: *sends a tutorial to setup a web dev server*
Him: You are so unhelpful, why are you disrespectful like that ?!?
Me: *having some murder thoughts*
Why do I still reply to these people ?4 -
I am glad that I usually include comments, which make me smile years later...
What are your best findings when you look at your old code?
something like:
// having any and all at the same hierarchy is not valid (and stupid)
someMistakeDeep: 1 // deep fail
// TODO: find out, why the cache is behaving like this. And fix it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
or my all time favorite comments
// this should not happen.
// wat?
or testing emails like
- tldsAreNotCheckedBTW@something.idontthinkthisdoesexist
- nonValidEmail.com
or urls...
- ProtocolMissing.com
- www.stillNoProtocol.com
And when I'm out of ideas, something like this
messageContent: 'Bla Bla Bla. Exception in FS on Host https://w.com/hpsa',
{ SmsVerb: 'randomVerb' }, // unknown Attribute5 -
Recruiter on LinkedIn:
"Hi *dev*,
I hope you don't mind me contacting on LinkedIn but I couldn't find your contact details. I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't share this awesome job with you. Can U have you're phone number? I think you are a great candidate for this job.
If it's not quite right for you, please refer your contacts!"
Where do I start...
There's a good reason why I don't have my contact details in my profile. I also have a note saying I'm not looking for any jobs at the moment. If I'm "great candidate" what would you ask me to refer my friends? I know they're doing their job, but honestly it feels like they're retarded or something. -
I have never understood why there is so much animosity from seasoned devs in the community.
I see it in a lot of places. Stackoverflow, reddit, even devRant. In so many cases, an inexperienced dev will post to the web, only to be shot down by things like "this question is stupid" or "you all have it too easy and its apparent you never learned basic CS principles" or things of that nature. In a lot of cases, these are generally unhelpful replies and often teach new devs to be wary of seeking help.
Please help me to understand, why this is.
Is it because the community is angry at these devs trying to get a high paying job by going to a bootcamp and shortcutting the hard work it takes to understand core CS principles to become a decent developer? Then why not take a moment to provide resources or insight to these folks so they can learn to be better?
Is it because the community feels that devs from bootcamps are just watering down the pool of talent making our worth decrease? I feel this isnt really valid because seasoned, experienced architects will always be needed to build good software. And at that, why are we not ensuring that the next wave of developers is equipped to handle tasks like that?
There are a lot of good people in this community who want to help and make the net a better place for all developers (after all, many of us consider it home), but there's a lot more people out there with really shitty attitudes, and it frustrates the hell out of me that my juniors now equate arrogant, self-entitled responses and attitudes with "seasoned devs" and discourages them from even bothering to get involved in the community.19 -
Client: I need you to integrate with this API.
Me: ok cool, but what are we doing with it (where does the data go/styling)?
Client: what do think we should do?
Me: well it would be really cool if we did it like this *short and sweet explanation of really cool functionality and design*
Client: I LOVE IT! Let's do it, oh also I need it done by tomorrow...
Me: *GOD DAMNIT, why do you always do this...don't you dare say ok* ok, yeah I can totally do that.
...now at the market stocking up on redbull2 -
WTF!? Is the internet is fake? What happened to the actual internet?
If you take any search phrase and search on Google or Bing you will get millions or billions or results. But if you go to the last page enough times it will drop down to a total of like 200 results. I am unsure on other search engines as they make it difficult to jump ahead in the search (only provide "next page"). I was going to the next page of results in Brave search engine and it came up with a "are you human" test. Like nobody is going to search more than a few pages. This definitely makes me feel like in am in the Truman Show.
What is the point of limiting to only a few hundred pages? Why show millions or billions for initial search? Are there any real search engines that don't filter so much? Did the technocrats burn the second great library already?8 -
Annoying Indian professors are everywhere. It's a computer vision class are you really teaching us Regression?
What about transfer learning? object detection! Give us papers to read, let's do projects.. what the hell is this I am going take attendance bullshit and teaching crappy concepts.
I did not sign up for this shit! I came here for my Masters to get away from pompous mother fuckers like you ...
My class is also filled with those idiots,who think bias in a neural network is somehow related to class imbalance ? Now the same idiot proceeds to ask questions like...
Why would the weights change in a neural network?
Motherfucker why you in this class ? Why don't you stick to your shit and ask these questions later..
I am so pissed off right now guys ...
I was sitting in my lab understanding the deeper insights of BN, activation fucntions.. various optimizers ..etc Stuff that this idiot motherfucking teacher must be covering... UGGH.
I shouldn't cuss so much.. or at least add variety to my cuss words..
I am pissed off cuz instead of learning the shit I should be learning I am forced to come and attend this class and waste 2 hrs of my life ...
It's the summer i find it hard to focus anyway (want to go out hiking or swimming or something.) BUT. the moment I find some resolve to focus
I get this fucking bullshit.. !
My mind is so fucked right now... I can't think of anything but standing up in class and screaming " Mother fucker, mother fucker...(point to the idiots in class you) motherfuckers shut the fuck up..
Can someone suggest some colorful swear words ?
My brains not working -_-
It is just about now that I start feeling like "Anger" from inside out12 -
We accepted a property listing project for a client.
I have been looking online for references and inspiration regarding design, features, plugins etc.
And this is what I just found. I shit you not. $20 and you get everything. WTF.
May be I will just buy it and give it to my client. $20 and you have like 40 lines of features, if not lied, which are more than enough to meet my client's requirements.
Why the heck am I working?
Am I the one who is charging too high to my client?
11 -
So what's up with bosses and employees that sporadically ask you to respond fast (like in the hour) to any request even though it is not an emergency? I feel like 50% of the people I work with are constantly in fireman mode, but never stop to think why they work like this.
When it comes to implementing helpful processes or improving shitty processes, I always get the "we don't have time, we are overbooked for this quarter." We never have time to improve and it fucking sucks.
Also, stop bothering me at 9-10 PM or during the weekends you bunch of no-lives. Maybe work smarter and less often?
It honestly makes me less motivated to work and depresses me a bit. I'm starting to hate my job.2 -
Dev: Hey this library you are mandating the use of doesn’t do one of the things you assumed it does
Non-Tech Manager: Well I think it does because I looked at it and that’s what it seemed like and the only reason you can’t figure it out is you are a bad developer and have attitude issues that’s why you are failing. You need to look on the bright side of things more often. This library has over 100k downloads which means it must do what people want it to. I think the problem is you. We can’t spend anymore time on this we have to just fix it and move on.6 -
so current elon - Twitter situation is like this:
EM - i will buy this company for 44B
Twitter: what!? 44B for this crap? our ESOPs will make us millionaires! sure , go ahead.
EM - Sike!! i was kidding. no deal
Twitter - NO BACKSIES!!! *sues*
EM - ugh, okay. i will buy this company, but i want full ROI in next 5 years + 50% of you are fired
Twitter - Whaaa!!!
----
i guess some disaster was expected from this takeover and twitter mgmt throwed themselves on the axe on their own.
but it's wierd why every CEO change comes with an immediate firing of staff16 -
My paper just got rejected. Again. The first time it was expected. But for this journal, it wasn't supposed to be. Some of the reviewers' comments are stupid. (for eg. I mention a no-loss algorithm fir a game which, so his/her comment is like what's no-loss? , like are you fucking kidding me, if you don't know that, then why are you a reviewer in the first place)
Anyway now I don't know what to do. I'm looking for more journals but all have so high impact factors and I'm not even sure confident to submit again. Had a good mind to mail the editor in chief but well, I don't think it'd help. What do you guys think?
In the middle of another project, another paper, online courses, now this. I'm just done. I didn't go home as well. It's around four o' clock in the morning here, so noone here is awake.
Can anyone hear me?5 -
a bet:
this birthday, i will get:
lemon glutenfree cake (if any) because mom can't have gluten and sister likes lemon cake. i hate both of those. but that's irrelevant as it always was.
if any, then gifts will be anything except cigarettes which is basically the only thing within price range they're willing to spend, that i would actually be happy about.
birthday is just an artificially glorified ordinary day. and i'm not the type to do hysterics to artificially glorify it. and it's fine. but then, why are they artificially glorifying it while unwilling to actually glorify it properly, as in, glorify it for me?
pick fucking one. artificially glorify it, in which case, FOR ME, or just don't give a fucking shit same as i don't.
but why are you artificially glorifying it for the purpose of ignoring me and glorifying everything exactly in spite of me, without even being aware that you're doing that?
like seriously, what? make your "i love not you, but my daughter" day, as an extra to her birthday. i don't give a shit, i'm happy you have a nice relationship. but doing all of the "i love my daugther day" shit on my birthday, AND PRETENDING IT WAS DONE FOR MY BIRTHDAY, FOR ME, and being sad about me being sad that all you did "for me" was in fact for yourself and for everyone else, that's the combo that gets me.
"oh why u making me so sad by being so sad that i ignored everything you like and kept telling me you like for the past X years and i just ignored it because it's not my nor your sister's preference?"
guess why, you fucktard. how about you ignore the day next time instead of making it an unconscious (that's the worst, that they don't even realize it) mockery of the day.
"oh why are you sadand shitty feeling that we made this bullshit ignorable "celebrate you" day about ignoring everything that celebrates you, and made it into the opposite instead? why are you so demanding and cruel?"
SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.
go have a walk with your beloved daughter and please ignore me as you always do.
just leave me the fuck alone.5 -
Lead: alright people what are your ideas and updates for this page refactor we've been talking about.
dipshit: Alright guys, I've done a quick awesome prototype that I really like...
dipshit: *starts to speak super fast* (I catch words about function composition, clean, no side effects, speed, efficiency. Basically a string of brogrammer buzzwords.)
me: what did you mean by that? How does it work?
dipshit: *basically repeats the same drivel*
me: uh..ok I don't quite understand
everyone else looks confused.
me: ok since you've done a prototype, we take a look at it later
*** After meeting, looks at code ***
It was COMPLETE GARBAGE. He used 1,500+ lines of js in 17 files to make what was essentially a simple 2 item list.
We were looking at a way to overhaul the entire page, he "refactored" maybe perhaps 5% of the page.
There was absolutely nothing clean / functional / composable about this monstrosity. It was as if he read chapter 1 of a book on functional programming and decided he understood enough to call himself an expert.
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL HIRED?
HOW DO YOU CALL YOURSELF A DEVELOPER?
YOU ARE SELF TAUGHT, DISS PEOPLE WITH FORMAL CS/CE DEGREES AND YOU PRODUCE TRASH CODE?!
ARE YOU SO RETARDED THAT YOU DO NOT RECOGNIZE HOW STUPID YOU ARE?
Please die in a fire, along with your jock attitude and unprofessionalism. Take this worthless junk unfit to be called code with you.3 -
Building on this other rant: https://devrant.com/rants/2168393/...
What other pet peeves you have when chatting or texting? What things grind your gears?
For example:
People.........that type..........long messages................with lots of dots in between.........like they are allergic to the spacebar......
people that don't write any punctuation because they write like they speak and when you speak you don't speak the punctuation right and you also don't speak the question marks right do you agree
People that send a message to you, then after a whole minute has passed…
Hey
Hey
Hey man
R u there?
Heeeeeeeeeeeeey
Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
Call me when you read this ok?
Heeeeeeeeey
H
e
y
:(
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(3 -
finished making website and all its features work across Chrome, Safari, and even IE11 and Edge..... but not Firefox... been like this for the last 3 sites that I have done. Mostly CSS3 related. Some CSS3 hacks are required for that browser... why are you the odd one out now Firefox??? That used to be the job of IEs!!!17
-
Moments like this are why I pay my internet bill, even if we are all infected with “the stupid” I love you guys
Inb4: a good post also died for this
17 -
I fucking hate it when big companies release a video with the new tech they developed and they jerk off about the great discovery they made in video format.
I mean, they usually are great discoveries but the "verborragia" (a spanish portmanteau between verb and haemorrhage) is unsufferable.
I'm feeling this way specifically about the microsoft videos. "Just get to the goddamn fucking point. What did you fucking develop exactly?"
They usually go like this:
(Play sad reverbed piano)
Trees are life. Have you ever been a tree? Everyday thousands of trees are being torn apart from their daddy trees. When a tree is removed to be processed into paper, dozens of pretty little dwarves go homeless.
That's why at Microdick we are working on one of the most trascendental advancements of the 21st century.
We are working really hard to take into account every aspect of environmentability to bring humanity closer to what it is to feel like a tree.
We are pushing forward what it means to be a tech company today and we are finding new creative ways to inflate our ego, as a way to pretend we're not dying like the rest of normal human beings.4 -
"Grub installation failed would you like to try again or continue without a bootloader?"
I was like well why in the burning hell would you even touch the bootloader on a completely different drive then you are installed on.
Boy, never was I so wrong...
That motherfucker deleted the windows bootloader and I've tried everything to get it back. Even tried to restore the whole frickin boatloader from scratch, with no success.
Best I could do was to make a pendrive with the bootloader on so I can boot up that shit. Four days have passed and still no luck in fixing it.
Well I guess I will call this a security feuture. If you don't insert the correct thumb drive you couldn't access the computer.5 -
Well I noticed one thing here.
You write any post regarding coding, bad management, juniors or whatever shit, this community welcomes you
But you dare to put wrong tag or category, all are like where the fuck is report button? can I dislike this post bla bla..
Why so with wrong tag21 -
By Thor (not the god, the dragon), Belial and Thor (the god, this time)...
Just got the sources for the software that runs on the SDR for my project. I think I just found the mother of all legacy code:
The whole behaviour is described in a single, 4000 lines C file. Most of the code is in a giant switch with cases selected from an enumeration with names that don't match their function. All varnames are overly long, yet hopelessly unhelpful. And why three fuck would you use pointer[0].data instead of (*pointer).data or pointer->data like a sane person would !? pointer isn't even an array, so why would you use []?1 -
This is why "machine learning" is still flawed:
"Stations you might like:"
- Lullabies & Bedtime Music
- Instrumental Lullabies
- Rockabye Baby
- Toddler Time
- Twinkle Twinkle Little Rock Star
- The Wiggles
Perhaps I should get my kids their own account. Perhaps the algorithm should now that if I'm looking for music after 9:30 on my phone, and not the Alexa, my kids are already asleep.8 -
Coding is not the solution to unemployment or gender inequality... This what the MF don't understand.... Until you create a better Sys and population is controlled and there is cultural evaluation. - you MF are just running a circus show.
Every MF want to jump into the bandwagon of cheap CSR - "hey we are empowering people by teaching people how to develop a website , aren't we good peopLE 😊"
Lol like programming is fucking open source, you don't need to teach people, anyone interested can learn it , and they are billion FREE RESOURCES out here for them to learn, so why not just fucking focus on doing something significant than clowning around "become a dev ".
Fuck havard, fuck Google fuck KMPG fuck the fucking dumb Government fuck youth empowerment📌4 -
Large majority of rants is about incompetent project managers.
No matter where you live the problem stays the same. Most of them have no clue how software is being made and how dev/qa work looks like.
I frankly do not understand this phenomena. I have friends in automotive/constructions industry and theirs managers are engineers too in that field. Why it can't be the same in software development?5 -
Can someone tell me why C++ and python are so widely used in the AI department? I kind of understand… you want maximum performance (plus GPU) with C++ or easy logic with Python but still, it seems like other languages would still have there benefits in AI. It just doesn't make sense to me, why isnt it like every single other part of computer science where everyone under 22 thinks "now this is what JavaScript was made for!" (I mean js is used so much in other parts of cs, why not AI). Am I missing something? Maybe the resources are missing for AI in other languages? Can someone please expand12
-
"so what's the difference? there are groups and communities for devs, why devRant ?" It was my colleague's question and I was about to loose the debate between this and other social n/w.
I said "look man the greatest thing is you can build a DP that looks like a geek programmer, whatever you look like in real time doesn't even matter."
And he said "Let me see your profile."4 -
Spend 2 hours migrating my old NASs ubuntu zfs pool to the new freeBSD NAS, which has new fancy stuff like a crossflashed raid card new hyper efficient psu and so on. Sadly, the pool just wont import, many drives are missing. I debug. For hours. Trying to test cables. Interesting. No matter which SATA cables i switch, this one drive always starts... Hm... Must be the controller then. Maybe the controller doesnt spin up the other disks, because i removed the boot rom! That must be it! Wait... Why is this cable lying in here... Wait, this is the power cable attached to all missing driv ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I WASTED SO MUCH FUCKING TIME ON THIS SHIT HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!
Unfortunately, one power cable become loose (i dont know how, these cables have plastic thingies to prevent this...), but it works now. And its better than before. -
FUCK YOU PHP, FUCK YOU SYMFONY AND DEFINITELY FUCK YOU SHOPWARE.
Don't get me wrong, PHP has evolved a lot, but the stuff people are building with it is just the biggest load of fucking shit I have ever seen: Shopware. Shopware is the most ass-sucking abomination to extend. It's nearly impossible to develop anything beyond "use the standard features and shut the fuck up" that is more sophisticated than a fucking calculator.
The architecture of this pile of crap is the worst bullshit ever. A mix of OOP, randomly making use of non OOP concepts and features together with the unnecessarily HUGE amount of useless interfaces and classes. Sometimes I feel like it's 90% fucking shitty boilerplate shit.
And don't get me started with TWIG. It's a nice thought, but WHY THE BLOODY FUCK WOULD YOU NOT USE VUE IF YOU ARE ALREADY USING IT FOR A DIFFERENT PART OF SHOPWARE. This makes no fucking sense whatsoever and makes development of new features a huge pain in the ass. I can't comprehend how people actually like using this shit.
OH AND THE DATABASE. OH MY FUCKING GOD. This one is bad. Ever tried to figure anything out in a database where random strings (yes MySQL "relational" - you might think) that are stored as text in a JSON format make up some object or relations during runtime?? Why the fuck do you have foreign and primary keys if you don't use them properly??
Seriously you can't even figure out which data belongs to what because the architecture just sucks fucking ass. FUCK YOU Shopware wankers, you suck, your product sucks, your support sucks, your architecture sucks and you keep releasing new versions that regularly break shit even in minor versions.
I used to like PHP, but not in projects like these.6 -
Lua users, have you used moonscript?
It's a little language that has it's own interpreter or can be compiled down to Lua and it's absolutely lovely (currently using it with Love2d).
Of course, as with most things, what I love about it also royally pisses me off sometimes.
For starters local has to be declared for variables, unlike lua.
Otherwise the variable goes to _
Also note, that some tutorials literally tell you the opposite.
all variables are local by default
unless you don't declare them
then they go to _ (throwaway)
Some tutorials get this wrong too.
all variables have to be declared local
except tables. failure to declare a table WITHOUT a local will cause things like
table.insert to fail with "nil" values for no god damn reason.
No tutorial I could find mentioned this.
Did you know we call methods with '\'?
By the way, we call methods with '\'.
Why? Who the fuck knows.
Does make writing web routes more natural though.
Variables in the parameters of new are declared and bound for you. Would have loved to know this before hand instead of trying
to bind to them like a fucking idiot.
Fat arrows are used to pass in self for methods.
Unless you're calling a method. Then you use backwards slash. This fact is unhelpful when you're a beginner and dealing with the differences between the *other* arrow, the backslash, the fat arrow, and the fact that functions can be called with or WITHOUT parenthesis.
And on that note..
While learning all this other shit, don't forget parenthesis are optional!
Except when they're not!
..Like when you have a function call among your arguments and have to disambiguate which args belong to the outer call and to the inner call! Why not just be fucking consistent?
But on the plus size, ":" is now used for what it should have been used for in the fucking beginning: binding values to keys.
And on the downside, it's in a language thats built on top of another language that uses it for fucking *method calls*, a completely
different fucking usage.
And better still, to add to that brainfuckery thats lost in the mental translational noise like static on a fucking dialup modem, you define methods with the fat arrow. Wait, was that the single arrow or fat one? Yeah the fat one. Fuck. But not before you do THIS shit..
someShit: =>
yeah, you STILL include the god damn colon just so when you're coming from lua you can do a mental double take. "Why am I passing self twice? Oh right, because fuck me, I decided to use moonscript." It's consistent on that front but it also pisses me off.
A lot of these are actually quality of life improvements disguised as gotchas, but when you're two beers in to a 30 minute headscratcher it sure doesn't fucking feel like it.
Nevertheless, once I moved beyond the gotchas, it was like night and day. Sure moonscripts takes a giant steaming dump all over the lua output, like a schizophrenic alcoholic athena from the head of zeus, but god damn, when it works it just WORKS.
Locals that act like locals? Check.
Sane OOP? Check.
Classes, constructors, easy access to class methods, iterators? Check, check, check, check, check.
I fucking hate ceremony. Configuration over convention is for cunts. And moonscript goes a long ways toward making lua less cunty.
If you've ever felt this way while using lua, please, give moonscript a try.
You'll regret it, but in a good way!6 -
Is it just me or are all the stoopid people in middle management? Why do these clueless people always impose completely nonsense requirements? Like 'You have to process all entered client data but you are not allowed to store it, nowhere, because of GDPR, storing data is evil!' But when customer logs on all his not persisted data has to be pushed to the frontend immediately. WTF THIS IS CRAZY5
-
One thing I don't understand, when I want to sign into iTunes Connect website, I have auto fill filling credentials, Apple first shows only email field, click next, then it shows password field, click next then you are logged in.
Why is it like this? Username and password are both filled, but yet need to click login twice to access my account -_-4 -
Add 1 - Remove 2
-implement-
Why did you add this?
Alright - Remove 1 and Add 2.
-implement-
I like what you did with 1 but I'm not sure about what you did here with 2.
-wait...wait...wait...-
Hey, just noticed the way you had 1 and 2 before you started making a bunch of unnecessary changes was better, go back to that.
Peer reviews are awesome! -
Why some (ok, a lot of) sales and buying guys are there just to transform any service experience in something bad?
In my experience, most sales guys promises anything, with absurd deadlines and it's up to you to make it work. Things never get good enough and, after all, the client doesn't like the work, you don't like and the sales guy doesn't like you could not make a perfectly task.
Buying guys are even worse when buying services. Email 30 developers in BCC: "Hi, I need this done by tomorrow morning and I would like to know how much you charge for it. I need your proposals in the next 30 minutes". He closes the deal with the fastest and cheapest proposal.
These things make absolutely no sense to me. -
My first dev job :
Do a front-end in Joomla!. As an internship. Without being paid.
(In France, if you are here for >2 months, they can pay you, or not.)
At least, now I know why Joomla is a no-no when you want to do custom things. Heard that the team working on back-end had problems of PHP, like the PHP appearing and the one Joomla uses "is not the same" or something like this.
And now you know if you didn't. No problem.4 -
Why does this happen....
I go , hey I just finished this project (app for example since they the worst culprit)
Why ... Are the next words out of the other persons mouth is, oh I had an idea for an app ....
Why do they then proceed to tell you an app that exists , or an app that's ridiculous like
You know calenders ... Yeah I do... What about a calendar that syncs to your friends one when you want to do an event .... You mean Facebook events... Yeah but for calenders 🤔😥😒
Why does the general population think one.... It's easy to build and costs nothing and two that without research they have the best idea on earth. -
A day in the life of @C0D4
Yay it's Tuesday.....
So morning goes something like coffee, yea no coffee no @C0D4, get to the office, get busy with normal morning routine - run the almost automated scripts I have to run - delete the 100+ emails I don't actually need from last night, read the 2 I do care about - yea 2 freakin emails out of 117 🤦♂️
But what ever that's what outlook rules are for... except I actually have to glimpse over them all just in case something of mine broke.
Go get another coffee,
Start working through the days tickets - ok cool nothing major to worry about, let's get back to writing tests from yesterday.
Well fuck that was a bad decision, no matter what I do this little fucker won't pass, yet doing this process step by step, detail for detail, it works - no issues, but automate this fucker and it screams its head off.
So fine, I give up and go to lunch,
Come back... spend next 3 hours on this 1 problem... 1 FREAKING problem 🤦♂️🥴🤦♂️🥴🤦♂️
This thing has beaten me, and for no apparent reason - it just doesn't like running under a test scenario.
Would have given up hours ago, except its a vital piece of code I'm trying to cover 😑 of course it is.
Well somewhere in there I managed to do a deployment for another project and change a few things in there.
This week is starting to look like hell,
Yay hump day tomorrow!!!!!
That's something, the week is coming to an end.... right? Please.... right!!!5 -
why is it everybody wants to hire a head of a department all the time
like that's just super weird to me
wouldn't it make more sense to hire someone into a lower position, have them learn from head of a department, then get promoted because you know they'll head the department to your standards then?
but most posts want you to already be head of a department... and it's like, I don't know your department. what the hell happened to the last head of department? why do so many people need heads of department? why the hell are they choosing to get them from outside the company?
somehow none of this makes any sense to me
like I'm literally just so confused why people hire seniors and expect them to automatically know the way the company does things
it just literally doesn't make sense
promote your underlings? then hire more underlings to sus them out?
WHY ARE YOU HIRING SENIOR STAFF FROM OUTSIDE YOUR COMPANY, LITERALLY NOBODIES, AND GIVING THEM TONS OF AUTONOMY AND CONTROL OVER OTHERS IN YOUR COMPANY, THATS SO CONFUSING
worse yet I hear most people just lie when they apply so it's like... are you rotating irresponsible lying people through senior positions at your company over and over again, as they attrition your underlings and eventually get fired for incompetence?
WHAT IS THE STATE OF THIS ECOSYSTEM5 -
Can gamedevelopers stop using lua as their freaking scripting language..
Every time I try and figure out how tables work and think I finally get it it throws a big fuck you curve ball.
Oh and then they use json file to store the data of a table except that those json interfaces are complete retards.
If you are going to support json files then why the fuck won't you put in a small fucking inconsecential JS interperter so you can actually find some docs regarding more complex fucking docs then those simple minded t[guildName] = "guild"
Another thing, why the fuck does lua not use {} like every other langauge. I use those curly brackets to figure out where shit start and ends half the freaking time.
Fuck this I'm out for today...
And a big fuck you with both middle fingers to any dev that thinks lua is a great scripting language for plugins.3 -
“OhhHhh please fill out an entire fucking excel sheet for our test environment deployment. It helps us manage everything better and gives us a reason to fucking thumb around in our holes all day and pretend like we really mean something as managers.” Like absolutely no, you can go fuck yourself with a condom filled with broken glass shards and diseases is what YOU can do. You are a parasite.
“Senior lead developer” - but they don’t have a title - says: “please just give me the list of files I need to manually change on the env in real time”. Bitch, do you even know what CI/CD is?!?!? The fact that you have been doing this for a year straight makes me pity how much of a fucking dumbass you really are. Even if u don’t use a pipeline, just look at my fucking git changes. That’s literally why we have it. You are a fucking disgrace of a developer and I hope you know that everyone who is a competent dev would rather bathe in a bath filled with lemon juice and cactus spikes, before EVER working with YOU EVER AGAIN!!!2 -
PHP are you freaking kidding me right now? Why are you forcing me to write ugly and meaningless code like this?
Today I just learned that boolval("false") will return true.
I'd deffo expect this from casting operators, but not from a function which even has val inside of its name.
What purpose is to have functions like these in language if they just serve as plain wrapper for casting operators
9 -
Today I read a great article on mutation tests, how to use and why they are important. It looks like a great thing, but...
I have never wrote any unit test in any of my jobs. Nobody in my workplace does that. And now it seems like 100% test coverage is not enough (I remind you, that I have 0%), they all should mutate to check if the quality of unit tests is high.
It seems that I'm left behind. I played with tests in my free time, but it seems the more you write them, the better you get at it, so I should be writing them in my job, where I code most of my time. Not only that, of course, I would also want to ensure that what I'm working on is bug-free.
Still, it will be impossible to introduce unit tests to my project, because they are novelty to the whole team and our deadlines are tight. The other thing is, we are supposed to write minimum viable product, as it is a demo for a client, and every line of code matters. Some might say that we are delusional that after we finish demo we will make things the right way.
Did any one of you have a situation like this? How did you change your boss and team's mind?8 -
I just reviewed a pull request with a test case like (pseudo code):
# Test MyService
const mock = createMock(myService.myMethod)
.whenCalledWith("foo")
.returns("bar");
assert(mock.myMethod("foo") === "bar"));
Why though? Why are we testing the mock? What is happening here? This test has no reason of being there instead of a fuzzy feeling that we now have unit test to lure us into a false sense of security.
I asked why we don't do an integration test. Response was: "They are slow."
Well, duh, but at least they would actually test something.
What do you gain by asserting that the mock is working the way you set it up?3 -
A prime example of bad UX from the guys at Ubisoft.
They have this 30-day giveaway up to Christmas and it's terrible.
1. They are giving away posters and shit wallpapers in the lowest resolutions, like really, how long would it have taken to export that shit in 4K? Also, that is a cheap as fuck move. You are Ubisoft, give away some games, for fucks sake! Not shit posters in a resolution so low that I can't use it for wallpaper or print it.
2. When you enter the site you don't have a fucking login button! You have to guess that you have to click a number and then it prompts you to login. Also, why the fuck can't you sustain my login from yestersay?
I anyone wants to see this mess it's over at https://30days.ubi.com1 -
At any given company, there are
those that do
and
those that do not
I've mostly (and sadly) worked with the latter
and those are the people who are like "ahhh yeah, no worries, don't worry about it! we need you to stay positive, not rage! why you get so worked up?" and i'm like YEAH YOU DONT HAVE TO FUCKING WORRY BECAUSE YOU DONT DO ANYTHING! YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO RESPONSIBILITY IN THIS COMPANY AND ARE A FLOATING BLOB COLLECTING YOUR PAYCHECK, THAT'S WHY I GET ALL NEW ASSIGNMENTS AND AM RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM WHILE YOU ARE STILL WORKING ON TASKS ASSIGNED TO YOU TWO QUARTERS AGO!!!!!!!!
god who am i kidding, it'll never change
...man I am on an absolute rant rampage the past few days, feels good >:) -
Nothing like client requesting "Hey can you add a virus scan for every goddamn file in the pipeline ? (We don't know what antivirus software you can use, neither do we know what are the consequences of this virus scan failing. We also don't know why a system admin is not doing this server wide instead of a software Dev doing it for this specific individual component. Heck we don't even know why do we need the virus scan in the first place) You might need to think 'outside the box'. Let's hope this is done by 12th Jan. Regards" on a Friday goddamn night
They probably even expect me to write my own antivirus software instead of paying for one
Why is industry like this ? Is there really any polite way to deny this ?15 -
why.... why on this freaking earth would you go an enable Hypervision on me?
seriously #Windows, you are starting to drive me over the edge.
theres nothing like powering up a centos server - yea not even a DE, (that had no issues yesterday) and getting "VT-x is not available".
the last thing im going to think to look at is you enabling your bullshit despite it was already disabled, -
Client: Can you put all the add on products we sell into the MDSL (Master Daily Sales Log)
Why aren't you adding them to the new console system? It allows you to add them and tracks all actions on the sale.
Client: The Health Agents don't know how to do that, and I think the manger hasn't added them into the system....yup he didn't add them.
Me: So how are you tracking the addon products you are selling?
Client: I don't know. Can you just add them to the MDSL.
Me: I wrote the console system to replace the MDSL, why are you using the spaghetti code system I wrote 8 years ago?
Client: They like it better because of this one report they use.
Me: I rewrote that report for the new system and it even gives more info.
Client: But the owner doesn't trust it, because it shows conversions and sales instead of just sales.
Me: ...1 -
After all this time I’m still confused, why was Cambridge Analytica such a huge deal? I feel like a lot of people knew this in years prior, that Facebook/Google were scraping user data and activities to use for personal profiles and hence more directed as placement. Stuff like Ghostery, Privacy Badger, Disconnect, Ad Nauseum (rip it’s Chrome plug-in) etc. all focused on not allowing these same trackers to get information, so not like this case just magically busted the doors wide open screaming that all those websites you visited are now in Facebook’s database and no one knew.
I just can’t quite understand why everyone got up in arms after this.1 -
I do not understand why you guys complains about Stackoverflow or even Arch linux forum. (There's a plenty of rant about those topic)
Those are just amazing, and of course, they will send you to the doc or downvote if you don't even do your job properly. I mean docs, google, other answer, wiki, tutorial, idk. There a plenty of resources where you actually can understand where's your problem. If after this you still don't have your answer, then ok ask it to the community because that why they exist.
But they aren't here just for repeating the answer that already exist and create double post, etc. Stackoverflow is one of the best source when you search on google because it's actually moderated nicely and guys won't hesitate to downvote you.
So if you got downvoted (Like I got sometime) then just think why was yours question/answer bad instead of just being angry against the community.
Ps: It's my first rant, but I was reading you guys since 1 year.3 -
The life of a normal person is like waking up every day with a zero on the scale of suffering. You did something good — here are -20 points to that scale. Something bad happened — well, here are +10 points. Being a bipolar person, my life is like beginning every day with +500 suffer points. Every day is a devastating uphill battle to just break even.
Why live then?
You can't win. If you have a healthy sleep schedule, do sports and eat healthy, it's still +500 every day. One mistake like fucking up your sleep schedule — boom, you now start at +700.
In Japan, a new breakthrough in psychiatry is happening as they were able to tie bipolar disorder to a HHV6 herpesvirus messing up the operation of Parkinje cells in human brain, unreachable to the immune system because of blood-brain barrier. A nasal spray treatment is proposed. If successful, bipolar disorder could be cured forever.
Until an actual nasal spray is released, I decided to wait because it's a huge bummer killing myself only some three years before this breakthrough.
But if their experiments will never come to fruition and my conventional therapy will not be successful, I will kill myself.
I don't want to live like this.6 -
Why the fuck is everyone behind this whole privacy thing . I mean what did you expect , servers do cost... you know . No one wants to provide you a service to chat with your shit collecting butler in the adjacent room unless it's going to benefit them .
Stick your face on the internet and want people to date you ?
Understand that your virtual social needs need to be supported by a ridiculous amount of electricity and man power which wouldn't be required if you could just throw out your rotting willie nilles in the open .
All this isn't fucking free .. wait were you shocked ? Oh so you just thought there were a few thousand servers powering buckets of pictures of horse poop that you for some reason thought your girlfriend was interested in . NO!
IT'S PRIVACY you are paying with your gaddamn privacy !! Information pays just like the time you paid a 100 bucks to the boyfriend of your girlfriend to find out more details .
Ridiculous . You people don't like ads . You don't like paying . You don't like providing information . THEN DON'T USE THE DAMN INTERNET .
IF YOU'RE REALLY THAT CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR PRIVACY THEN SPEND SOME VALUABLE TIME TO ACQUIRE ENOUGH OF A SKILLSET TO SETUP A VPN AND STOP POSTING YOUR PHONE NUMBER ON YOUR EX'S WALL ASKING HER TO CALL YOU.
One more honest thing to rant about is ads . As much as you hate them they're an easy way out . I'm not sure why a 20 second ad would bother you on mobile and not on television and I'm not sure why you wouldn't buy the ad company and shut it down if 20 seconds were so costly to you .
I want to rant even more on uninstalling services like Windows and Google for stupid reasons but I'll take a break here . My frustration has touched low levels.13 -
You have to love systems people who tell software people how the software works. Especially when you are trying to tell them why a problem is occurring in the software. Like software guy is like:
"this is breaking because a number is getting overwritten in the system by a product we interface with and have no control over"
"Well you need to stop the number from getting overwritten"
"then we're going to have to overhaul the design of the system"
"you don't have to redesign the system, you just need to circumvent the product that is overwriting the number"
"Yeah, a design change."
Dude is the interim system lead and starting to get uppity. Even though it's his group that is behind which is why we are driving changes to the system rather than them. -
Migrating an existing report from old system to new.
Business: We reviewed the differences you raised and why they're acceptable and this seems fine. But before we provide approval for your productionization, we would like these changes...
*1 month later, changes are made*
Business: you reported new differences. We can't give you approval until you tell us explain them all
Me: `••π÷¶×¶π|``•√÷÷÷π√^°°¥®^¥€€!!!!!!!
Can someone give me a new job so I can just walk in, say fuck it, I quit!!!"
Sometimes I just want to do that now but getting a new job is hard.... for reasons unrelated to how well I can code... -
Woke up early. Drank coffee and my mindset is so ready to do some work. After 30 minutes I'm so sleepy like a literal crash down and will sleep now. Body why you do this? I hate night shifts. It destroys my body clock. I hope weekends and mall hours are night shifts as well.
Also I hate company internal system project when I am assigned to a client and the client don't know that. I can't tell it to the client and my company can't tell also because my hours are 100% committed to the client. -
Systems guy: this is how you slow down development projects. By tying design to a software development ticket.
Software guy: yeah but that's how you get reminded to do the work and tie a design requirement to the software development effort in the ticket.
Systems: why do I need to be reminded of my design work?
Me: because you're a year behind software and at this point you are just documenting what software has already done?
Sometimes I feel like the design guys don't understand that if they want to be involved in the process they need to NOT keep us waiting until right up against the deadline to give us the design. -
Implementing an Audio File preview for Voice Records for one of our clients. The system we are reading names the files by IDs date length etc. And every value separated by #.
Why the hell you name a file like this: 12345#20171204#523.wav
We are implementing the tool with web technologies and this is not just ugly filenaming but also very url unfriendly. -
There is a side project that they've been working on. The CEO laid out the details to the Product Owner and Tech Lead. Now what he wants to happen is beyond the scope of the business core itself and it would take months to do the changes just to make the side project work. Now both of them ask the timeline for this, CEO said 1 week. 1 fucking week (he's a dev in his glory days which is why the short timeline). He know proceeds to suggest to us how we should do it (like he normally does). But Tech Lead knows better. So with the help of one of the junior devs, they proceed with the Tech Lead's plan. Now come for updates, they presented that its working and such. The CEO became furious as to why they decided to design it that way (of course you dingus, you gave them 1 week and expect quality). Now what triggered me was 2 things, first is his comment on the way they designed it. Its "flawed design". WTF ARE YOU EXPECTING? YOU ARE A FORMER DEV. YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER. Second, is the junior dev is asking me about the project. WHY IS HE ASKING ME. I always tell him that ask Tech Lead. Some of his questions should have been answered by Tech Lead. He even questions the design itself(why they designed it the way they did). I DON'T EVEN KNOW WTF Y'ALL BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS PROJECT AND YOU'RE ASKING ME. Flawed design, more like flawed communication.1
-
i see all this little kids making this discoveries getting money and securing job positions in big companies and building this famous app like the clasic "flappy bird" and I wonder.. how the f//k are they doing all this.. then i discover their is udacity.com, apps from solo learn that teaches you everything! and all source of shit.. so my question is.. why TF am i paying for college?!?!?!!!10
-
I hate that when developing on Windows I need like four different terminals. CMD, MINGW64/Cygwin/MSYS2, PowerShell. Each one has different functionality:
CMD - basic Windows commands
MINGW64 - emulates Linux terminal with frequent Linux commands and great support for Git
Powershell - access Windows COM, .NET etc.
Now there are solutions that attempt to solve this like Cmder (which is just more user-friendly ConEmu). These are console emulators which wrap all these in one window (with multiple tabs). But they are slow as hell. I have to wait like 10 seconds each time I start a terminal in Cmder, because the emulators need to run some huge startup scripts. But I just need to run one command from this one freaking folder!
Eventually I end up having like 30 different terminal windows open, each one different in functionality and each time I need to do something I must think about which terminal I need and in which folder. Furthermore I have to think about whether to run the terminal as administrator, but I usually forget that, so I have to close the terminal and reopen as admin. Why don't you just add something like su or sudo, Microsoft?
9 -
You're allowed to flame me for being a clueless idiot btw.
Why do so many sites append things like titles and words from posts to urls (Devrant included)? I know for sure that this isn't necessary for it to find posts (there are ID's). If there were just those strings of text and the site had to figure it out I would probably kill someone. But really, why are they there? User convenience? So that people see what they're going to read about when you link them to something?
TL;DR Why do urls for rants/posts have lots of text at the end?7 -
Summary of My Experience With Recruiters
1. They do everything until they get a phone talk. They also go cold turkey if they don’t have what you want, no politeness if you are not useful to them.
2. They are OK with your highball salary range at first
3. Once they got that you are hireable, they show their true nature
3a. Trying to lower my forever salary expectation to guarantee an offer and their one time bonus
3b. They scare you implying I would be fired from job anyways, if I don’t like some aspects of the current job
3c. They call you multiple times a week with no scheduling beforehand
3d. They lecture me on why salary shouldn’t be a big reason for job change(bitch don’t even…)
3e. They say shit like I want you to get this job(dude, you say that to every job seeker)
I will add more if I remember. What are your other bad experiences4 -
I want to know the name of the evil mastermind who once conceived the "literal" function in Sequelize.
- You design a method to insert pieces of raw SQL exactly the way they are written, no further processing
- You release this method, you call it LITERAL to make sure people know its intended purpose: it is used to insert LITERALLY everything you write, nothing more and nothing less
- Then make sure this "literal" method changes the fucking case of column names. Because that's what "literal" means in the head of this rabid animal: you arbitrarily change the code written by the developer
WHY
WHY ARE ALL AR ORM DESIGNED BY FUCKING ANIMALS
ELOQUENT IS TRASH, SEQUELIZE IS TRASH, TENS OF DEVELOPERS AT WORK TO ALCHEMICALLY CREATE THE MOST ROTTEN CODE THEY POSSIBLY CAN, BECAUSE YOU MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO WRITE ANY QUERY MORE ADVANCED THAN "SELECT * FROM users WHERE id =1", NOT A FUCKING SHRED OF DOCUMENTATION AND 16 MILLION LAYERS OF ABSTRACTION TO MAKE SURE EVERY BUG FUCKING STAYS THERE, DON'T YOU DARE TO USE A JOIN, DON'T YOU DARE TO TREAT A DMBS LIKE AN ACTUAL FUCKING DBMS INSTEAD OF A HOT STEAMING PILE OF METHODS IMPLEMENTED BY MONKEYS.
6 -
So this horrible client micromanaging every single thing in the application now suddenly asking me where a menu should go! I'm like why are you asking me that now I think you should take the menu and shove it up your ass?2
-
When you teach people how to code as much as I do, having to explain why things like this are so wrong over and over again starts to make you die inside.
7 -
OMF you motherfucking Eclipse developers. All I want is to build an application with SWT. WHY THE FUCKING FUCK is that near impossible.
1) why are there no SWT maven artifacts= only 3 year old ones on a custom github repo?
2) why is is fucking rocket science to even find a guide on how to build this fucking piece of shit yourself
3) WHY THE FRIGGIN FUCKING FUCK OF FUCKS is it so hard to build it your self - outdated docs .... nice, dead links and repos, nicer .... referenced maven artifacts from a non-existing, none-documented repo, ... wow you're really kickin it here.
All I want is to fix this nullpointer in this fucking piece of shit you call framework ...
Have you actually tried to read your docs (can we really call that shit docs?) from a none-100years-swt dev's point of view?
Noone understands shit!
Why is there no standard build system, like maven, grade or for fuck's sake even ant?
It almost feels if you devs don't want anyone use your abomination, so it can die in peace.
Arg, I could puke ...5 -
I don't know maybe it's me. I'm sure that at booking.com they have hundred of GUI/UX/UI experts, product owners, A/B testing and whatever.
So, please, can you explain to me in a professional and scientific why, why the fuck, when I search for an hotel in a place for a date, by default, they show me UNAVAILABLE properties?
Like, "hey sorry, there was this great hotel, right in the center and very cheap, but you missed it!! hahahaha, you poor moron"
And every time I have to ACTIVATE the fucking filter myself "only show available properties".
Excuse me? Who want to see in first position the hotels that are NOT available?
Are there some users out there who wants that? If I were hired at booking.com as Product Owner or UX/UI expert, I think the first thing I'll propose is to quit the fucking filter whatsoever or at least to enable it by design.
So why is that? you want to show off? slap me in the face, with your hard cock-list of hotels you have anyway, but not for me?4 -
I wish senior people would just admit if they don't know something or are unsure. I hate spending time implementing a feature and spending more time troubleshooting it only to ask for help and be questioned why I'm "doing it like that" in the first place...
YOU TOLD ME THIS IS HOW IT IS DONE!!!1 -
ever since i started working from home i am now able to sing my heart out while coding and argue with myself... my mom walks by me answering my questions "why isnt this working?" and she's like "why are you asking me i dont know" 😬 ok mom1
-
What the absolute fuck were you thinking Microsoft?
You're doing everything you can to ensure that those who continue to use Github are flogged and castrated?
What the fuck happened to the SSH clone link that was so easy to keep in all you had to do was *checks notes* fucking NOTHING.
It makes me question choices I have made over the last two years. Like, why don't I just host my own git server at this point? I have a couple servers running and it would cost me next to nothing.
Before anyone says anything about GitLab , I looked. I would be spending three times what I am now if I used them.
At this point it seems like a futile attempt to stay with you. I'm going to start calling you ShitHub now because it's a place where I can't get shit done without some kind of new shitty "improvement".
2022 is lining up to be a spectacular year!
Fuck you Microsoft.8 -
a friend of mine sent me some hobby drama and it reminded me of this innate fear I have that's difficult to explain and nor do I really know where it's from or how to describe it
honestly, fuck, I don't know how to describe it
because the issue is every time you do something good for the world, the world ends up vilifying you for it
I saw this when I was growing up and making mods for games, I'm seeing it now in this hobby drama to such a striking degree
this person outdid the community, became famed and god-like a figure due to their personal drive being different, and now... even the people describing the drama are editorializing them into a hated villain of the arc. I literally can't find their original posts, people just say rumoured things about them but won't link them which is super suspicious. even if they do link to a post of theirs the account is banned so I can't read the posts, the website link is 404, etc
the community quotes their backtalk to the person instead of what the person actually said and celebrates it and it's making my stomach churn
this feels like a hit job
then they make fun of this person for being "paranoid everyone is against them" um yeah you literally shit talk them, probably are making things up about them, vilifying them at literally every opportunity, trying to use cheap gotchas to feel superior... I'm starting to think this person is correct, and I want to read what they wrote instead (because of the few quotes they had actual insight into the hobby-sphere) but it seems like you've somehow scrubbed it off the internet, wtf?
I like building things but my fear is exactly this. I've done it in the past when I was little and in my experience if you build something people love, somehow it is a gateway to them mistreating you because they feel entitled to you. so why would you ever contribute to humanity if this is what happens? ever since I was a kid I wanted to keep these things to myself. fame is terrifying. does it even make sense? I can't even put it into words
it would be nice if you could do things and make humanity better but somehow by doing things you literally bring out the worst in them. and yeah, you can tank it and endure it, but it makes you ask why are you doing it if it's so evil onto them? why does this happen? it also frankly sucks, like who wants all this drama? you give people stuff and they spit in your face? that's just depressing. how are you to sleep at night, wrestling with that sort of community integration, doubting if that's your place in life, your purpose? why even? does it even make the world better, or are you making it worse by a chemical reaction of your existence combining with the masses generating vitriol fluids in the collective consciousness? it's just somehow so fucked up6 -
I hate when programming books have shit code examples.
Just came across these, in a single example app in a Go book:
- inconsistent casing of names
- ignoring go doc conventions about how comments should look like
- failing to provide comments beyond captain obvious level ones
- some essential functionality delegated to a "utils" file, and they should not be there (the whole file should not exist in such a small project. If you already dump your code into a "utils" here, what will you do in a large project?)
- arbitrary project structure. Why are some things dumped in package main, while others are separated out?
- why is db connection string hardcoded, yet the IP and port for the app to listen on is configurable from a json file?
- why does the data access code contain random functions that format dates for templates? If anything, these should really be in "utils".
- failing to use gofmt
These are just at a first glance. Seriously man, wft!
I wanted to check what topics could be useful from the book, but I guess this one is a stinker. It's just a shame that beginners will work through stuff like this and think this is the way it should be done.3 -
Comments throughout code with things like "changed to fix bug #". And commented out code all over.
We have source control, why the hell are you doing this? -
Read the whole thing here:
https://pastebin.com/ucyc75Qh
This isn't a devrant post really, more like "adjacent to the societal void that all brings us here".
Anyway. This is for you.
"Fraud" or "Addiction"
Lies are like addiction.
We lie to ourselves.
We lie to each other.
Why can't we just be honest.
Why can't we not be honest?;
I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I WANT it.
But I don't want how it makes me feel.6 -
Its festive season. Half of the team mates are on leave. Servers are down. No work can be done. Office looks life less ( which it always is). Boss asking why didnt you take leave. Yes because your free time off is almost zero. I need money. People being happy and getting in relationship/married. I am a fucking loner here.
Dragging my ass across the hallway like a ass fucked zombie. Typing this rant with a grumpy face. And people say monday blues are worst.
Fuck this emptiness. Fuck servers on maintenance. Fuck these white iridescent bulbs glowing for no reason. Fuck people murmuring around me. Fuck everything which is in my sight. Fuck this depressive fucking festive season.2 -
Why is it that windows 10's network adapter takes so fucking long in order to work and connect to the internet!!
Does anyone know a way to trace back what's causing it? And why it takes like full 15 minutes for the Ethernet or wifi drivers to even work? (I'm not even sure if this is something with the drivers or the way windows's network adapter way of working)
I couldn't find Jack shit on the internet (most of them are ghetto do this and that and hope it works) I want something more advanced so I can figure out for once why this happens on numerous windows computers
(Linux people, I understand you, please don't rant your stuff here, this is a bit serious issue, thx)6 -
I've been using go for two days and I'm already pissed at it. Don't get me wrong, I like the language itself, I love the simplicity, the tooling and frameworks are the problem. Like, why does everything have to be so hard?
Why do I have to spend around 4 hours in total just to configure a fucking linter?
Why does everything have to live inside the fucking GOPATH?
Why the fuck can't I put a src/ folder in my project so I don't mix code with config files, docker files, etc?
Why the hell does documentation for frameworks/libraries/tools suck so much? Looking at you Gin and Gorm.
Why can't gin-swagger just find out what routes I have?
I must be either dumb or chosen the wrong frameworks and libraries, but the "development experience" I'm having sucks. Nothing works first try and documentation is shit and vague.
I want to like the language, but I can't, at least not if it's always going to be shit like this. Does it get better? Am I just a noob? Or should I just jump ship and look for something else?4 -
I've seen a lot of web developers in devrant (including myself) and I'm interested in other peoples work...so, can you answer this quick poll?
- What language(s) do you use for work?
- What language(s) do you know?
- What languages would you like to try and why?
- Where are you from?
Thanks ranters <310 -
why do all erp solutions i know have a poor design?
one of you guys surely works for a company which sells erp solutions. as i am a user AND a programmer.
i just have to ask: do you have the feeling that your UI is bad?
and if - why is it like this?
i dont want to attack someone. just want to know the reason why all of the solutions i saw have bad UI or are just "user-unfriendly" (like you would say in german :D)1 -
As a beginning designer I got a task: redesign of existing app... On the first call with developers I asked some questions for better understanding why the app looks the way it looks... How it works..... And I asked who is this app for...who will use it...who are the users..... And the devs were like.....3 minutes of silence..... And I was like...wtf? They don't even know who will use this stuff.... I immediately understood why the app looks the way it looks.. On almost every my question I obtained an answer like.... The database.... Some Backend programming stuff....and all the time I got some answer from devs like how should I code this or that... I changed every my question at least 5 Times, because I got all the time some absolutely strange answers - which had nothing to do with my questions... I felt like I run my head against a brick wall... Yeah.. Sometimes Its difficult to discuss problems with people, who are closed in their own World + when they show you zero understanding or zero effort to understand you...I felt like the collaboration with those people is some kind of punishment... 😂....but fortunately there are still a good people who shows some effort to understand you or to comunicate... Humanity is not lost. ☺️4
-
So the last couple of days I have been optimizing my site, from a Pagespeed score below 40 to 97 and I can't get further because I'm using Google Analytics, Facebook Like-button and load a couple of images from Youtube.
Why must you be like this Google 😥😥It's partly you code, so why are you punishing me 😥1 -
JPA my friend ... JPA why are you like this? JPA why do hate me so much? JPA, let's have a word ...
How come you are so far away from real-world problems, so cumbersome to use, so ugly (criteria API), so wrong and inconsistent?
Oh, what it's all your parents fault? Oh come, on that can't be, right? Did you have a bad childhood?
Your parent's were fucking crack-smoking maniacs which didn't know a single bit about actual databases?
They design you as an API without actually trying you out in the wild? And then they patched up together with some essential DB stuff, like friggin indexes? Not even tried to make this API consistent nor really functional?
Oh poor, you little JPA ... -
Recently I have had to help our support team handle a variety of embedded development support tickets for a product line that is quite complex in nature. It is really starting become frustrating how common it is that the so-called “developers” that are using this product are so incompetent at requesting help in a proper/sane way. It is even more frustrating that some of these schmucks start acting up and stating bullshit statements like (para-phrasing) “OMG we have a ‘big opportunity’ and a deadline to meet”, “you need to help us faster”. These are also the same guys that are like “I know you have a free SDK that does everything correctly, but I want to write my own ‘pro’ driver written in my own ‘dumbass code style’. Oh and I am not going to follow documentation and not implement required functions and make you read my god awful code snippets to find out what I what I did wrong instead of reading the docs or comparing against the SDK.”
To anyone that behaves this way...fuck you! Just stop. Stop being a developer altogether. If your “opportunity” is so important, why the fuck are you half-assing your support ticket? Why are you making it SO DAMN DIFFICULT for someone to help support you! Give as much info as possible to prove your point or provide context to the problem you are having. In the majority of these tickets the dumbasses don’t even consider that relaying the product’s firmware version is relevant information, that a Wireshark (and/or logic analyzer) capture can be very useful to provide context to the type of operation being performed. Code snippets can be nice but only if there is sufficient context. We have had to ask one guy 3 times already for the FW version...what the flipping hell is wrong with you?!
Ug...I feel sorry for Support/FAEs sometimes dealing with customer bullshit drives me nuts and its a shame this stuff happens in a sector that should know better...Please don’t be like these devs. If you make a half-assed request it is only reasonable to expect a half-assed response and nothing more. -
I recently got hired on as a contractor to help the company take ownership of a vendor's product.
In one of the repositories that was delivered to us, at the root level of the repo is only src/ and .gitignore
Everything else, including package.json, .npmrc, .docerignore, and everything else, is all inside the src/ directory.2 -
I first try to figure out why I really want to build this and (if the project is intended that way) why someone would use it.
Then I strip the idea down to its bare minimums so I know what I should build for it to be of any value.
And then I start building until I no longer think it's worth working on the project.
For instance:
I am kind of surprised to see that in a world where cloud and apis become more and more leading, there isn't really a commonly accepted and flexible api management platform.
There are some cloud based platforms out there that can be configured using some interface but why is it like that? Surely you aren't going to deploy multiple versions of your core with different platforms right?
That's where my latest project comes in. I want to create an on-prem api management platform which you configure to work with your api during development. Then you can deploy it to any infrastructure alongside your core api.
This way you:
- are not bound to a specific cloud
- don't have to worry about security and firewalls
- get user management and rate limiting for free
I will probably create a collab for this once the platform is mature enough.1 -
That feeling when you inherit a script to automate something that takes 10 seconds. Why would they even write this? It's not like the task is hard....
...
And why would they write it this way? I'm sure if I just move this part and ....
That feeling when you spend several hours improving and redesigning a perfectly functional script to automate a 10 second task for zero gain aside from cleaner code. "But the code for this quick-and-dirty script I'm never going to look at again looks so much better now!"
... If only it did a bunch of complicated parsing, regex matching, and error checking just so I can answer one less prompt.... Unless that parsing fails. Then it should still ask me for that prompt... And also validate that the answers I give are valid and correct....
That feeling when you spend a whole nother day starting from scratch to implement error checking and complex parsing logic knowing full well the original task takes 10 seconds to do manually and is needed at most twice a day (for a grand total of 20s a day)
WHY AM I LIKE THIS?!?!?!4 -
everytime i try to learn kotlin, i can only think WTF is happening, why should it be happening?
after wasting last 4 hours, i came to this conclusion table regarding kotlin var and val notation.
And now my fucking compiler is saying that i can rather write :
val x:Int
and initialize it later, when i thought val is immutable and must be initialized at the beginning only(like public static final int x =5)
Who the fuck are those people that like this stupid language? why would you say some variable as immutable(meaning which can be changed 0 Times "ONCE" ASSIGNED A VALUE ) and when i can create a program with a variable that never got ASSIGNED A VALUE EVEN ONCE??
10 -
No, they didn't supported and infact are source of major problems in my dev and college career. Just granpa and dad, they wanted me to go for government jobs. Whenever they saw me with laptop they will say things like, you are ruining your future, this won't be asked in exams etc. They are good at manipulation too and sadly they won. Forced me to take civil engineering as it makes you eligible for most government jobs. I didn't knew what was going on my mind back then, and why i listened to such peices of shits. Real bad decision.
-
I want to teach you two peacekeeping methods that can help you diffuse difficult situations.
Method 1: before engaging in a heated internet argument, ask yourself: “What is my absolutely best case scenario endgame here?” To me, it’s often something like “Yes, you’re right, my entire life up to this point was a lie, I will read everything you wrote as a prayer every night to strive to be like you in every way.” Yes, this will definitely make my day, but in the grand scheme of things I won’t care. So why settle for less? The grand prize of this special olympics isn’t worth the effort.
Method 2: reading the intent. When you feel uncomfortable talking to someone, ask yourself: “What is their intent? Why are they saying me this?”
If the intent is to tear you down, see method 1. Anyone can be fooled, no exceptions. You losing an argument doesn’t diminish who you are, at all. If you fear it will, then work with your fear directly. It probably has nothing to do with this one argument.
If the intent is to help you, but they don’t know how to explain it without sounding hostile, then discard their tone. Read the message, accept it and tell them “Yes, you’re right, I get what you’re saying.”
Saying “I was wrong” immediately makes people perceive you as brave. It’s the virtue of strong people to be able to admit defeat.6 -
I'm following a course to become a Fullstack Web Developer. We have class in the morning and in the afternoon we get some "homeworks" to do. In the afternoon we are followed by some tutors that help us understand better what we did in the morning.
I have this one tutor that never answers to my doubts regarding bugs and errors (in my homeworks) and opens new doubts and problems I didn't think I had..
Why do ppl have to do this, like I'm alreay having one trouble that makes me feel unsecure.. Why do you make things bad and never help? -
Co-worker: I started having this issue like two weeks ago.
Me: Two weeks ago? Why are you only telling me now?
Co-worker: I dunno. I just stopped using <program> and worked around it.
Me: Thanks for the notice, man. That helped me tremendously /s -_-
FUCKING PUT IN A TICKRT OR TELL ME THAT THERE IS AN ISSUE. -
There are many issues with designers. Let's skip hamburger fuckups, navigations on bottom or other stuff. What pisses me of most are tables. Simple tables. As many times as i remember i told them: plaease, design this table with full borders around cells. Your design will make problems with rowspans a cellspans. Why you keep doing that? This is not like tables list in your fucking IS, where you tracking your shitty designers tasks.
How to talk with them? Blow their dicks off before discussion so they feel happy?
But you know, i'm just coder... I have no main word on design things.
10 -
Game developers:
Don't you always have dreamed with making a game like Flappy Bird that is so simple but gets so popular and you become millionaire?
2nd question: why do you think that this game was the lucky one that got so much fame? Because there are thousands of other games like it.1 -
I need to go buy a rubber duck so it looks less like I'm talking to myself. Trying to pull out and refactor some shit functionality in a WordPress theme because the client NEEDS it. Frankly all it is doing is creating a custom post type, but they're used to the way they've been doing it and I'm stuck with dealing with it. I generally like this part of my job (my face in the code) but trying to read this huge mess of code with no standards is driving me insane.
"What in the hell are you doing here?" "Why do we have variables for $thedata, $the_data, and $theData?"
"Why are your brackets on the wrong line sometimes?"
"Why is each line in this function enclosed in it's own PHP tags rather than around the function?"
At least if I had a duck I could say I'm talking to him.3 -
Please Google fix my Chromebook's new tab screen as well as stop screwing up every single screenshot extension. I can't directly upload screenshots slowing down skype meetings. Why are you doing this to me? Your product forums (https://productforums.google.com/fo...) are treating me like I am an old lady who doesn't know what they are talking about. I do not understand what's so hard to comprehend. 1 Google Support Chat, 2 Feedbacks, 1 Debug Log Sent, Screenshots and everything yet you still fail. I have provided significant proof that there is an issue caused by you. Now please fix it because I can't since the Chromebook disables all code not signed by Google (unless you are in dev mode aka annoying screen + lose all security). You guys like hate me or something :(
-
Me: By mandating code coverage pct. (very high ones) and integration test coverage pct. you are building an ever growing Rube Goldberg machine that you will end up spending most of your time fixing rather than working on the actual product.
Them: (Staring and whispering in the background). Wow, you must be stupid. This is how you created quality software.
...time passes and now most time is sucked into figuring out why all branches have failing integration tests all the time.
Me: I told you so. I've seen it multiple times. How about doing it differently?
Them: (staring and whispering in background). You are stupid. This is exactly how quality software is built. We know what we are doing. You must like waterfall.4 -
"The Senior Developer told me I was wrong but I proved that he was in fact wrong." - Why are there so many rants like this? What's the significance of the "Senior" part? Are you just telling the world you are better than "Senior" or do you just want to put them down?3
-
Does anyone know if there actually is a way to make URL alias? Like:
I wanna go to https://maps.google.com
But instead I only wanna type : maps.google
Just like that new thing of Google "sheets.new"
Or are there any Google Developers that may see this and are gonna implement this 😉
And I know: But why don't just type .com behind it? Well.. If there is one thing that I've learned as developer it's that every second you spend to long on one thing.. You actually waste because at the end you could've wrote a whole project! Or fixed a bug or something like that. You know what I mean17 -
Trying to make a nodejs backend is pure hell. It doesn't contain much builtin functionality in the first place and so you are forced to get a sea of smaller packages to make something that should be already baked in to happen. Momentjs and dayjs has thought nodejs devs nothing about the fact node runtime must not be as restrained as a browser js runtime. Now we are getting temporal api in browser js runtime and hopefully we can finally handle timezone hell without going insane. But this highlights the issue with node. Why wait for it to be included in js standard to finally be a thing. develop it beforehand. why are you beholden to Ecma standard. They write standards for web browser not node backend for god sake.
Also, authentication shouldn't be that complicated. I shouldn't be forced to create my own auth. In laravel scaffolding is already there and is asking you to get it going. In nodejs you have to get jwt working. I understand that you can get such scaffolding online with git clone but why? why express doesn't provide buildtin functions for authentication? Why for gods sake, you "npm install bcrypt"? I have to hash my own password before hand. I mean, realistically speaking nodejs is builtin with cryptography libraries. Hashmap literally uses hashing. Why can't it be builtin. I supposed any API needed auth. Instead I have to sign and verfiy my token and create middlewares for the job of making sure routes are protected.
I like the concept of bidirectional communication of node and the ugly thing, it's not impressive. any goddamn programming language used for web dev should realistically sustain two-way communication. It just a question of scaling, but if you have a backend that leverages usockets you can never go wrong. Because it's written in c. Just keep server running and sending data packets and responding to them, and don't finalize request and clean up after you serve it just keep waiting for new event.
Anyway, I hope out of this confused mess we call nodejs backend comes clean solutions just like Laravel came to clean the mess that was PHP backend back then.
Express is overrated by the way, and mongodb feels like a really ludicrous idea. we now need graphql in goddamn backend because of mongodb and it's cousins of nosql databases.7 -
So apparently people use IDA over Ghidra still.
Either they're paying thousands a year for the privelege or they've got a cracked version. Either way, you're getting shafted. (Pirated IDA databases can't be loaded in legit copies, so forget community sharing without exporting shit, and IDA is confused by jumps in anything half the time. Pirated IDA also often has issues with plugins and mods and such.
Why are you people like this?3 -
how i learned what are browser user agent string?
i was learning web development and someone mentioned that term, and i was like yeah ok but deep down inside i was like why on earth would you need that?
few days after my father called me to see why his website(organisation's web protal to apply for leave) wasn't working(he thought i did something, beacuse i can code :/ ) and started scolding me that you did this, you are that and boy what a day that was, then after his speech, i learned that website said it worked best on IE 6,7 and that time IE 9 was latest and we were on windows 7 machine and I had no idea about how to get this done, and just like steve jobs said "you can't connect the dots looking forward" I googled how to change user string agent and told him that this browser has bug and you can solve it like this -
Nobody likes chatbots/conversational UI for anything other than chat, right?
I have a savings app with conversational UI. I press one of a number of options e.g. "Savings". There's this artificial delay after the network request has been made so that it looks like the app is typing back at you. Why???
You then get another limited set of options, or you can tap "Back". These options are supposedly as if you typed it back as a response.
I can get three "questions" (levels) deep, let's say to deposit cash, only for it to turn around and say that I've reached a daily/weekly limit? At each level there's this awful delay, and you already knew I wouldn't be able to perform the action regardless of my responses after my very first "message"!
Why is this good/popular? And the whole thing totally breaks if there's any loss of connectivity.
Stop it. Please.
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View