Client: This works correctly, but I don’t like the code.

Me: What exactly do you not like?

Client: There are barely any lines of code. You need to add more to make it better.

I...I don’t know what to say.

Me: I need a Windows PC to test my code on.
Server dude: We don't have any free, but I can setup an old server for you.
Me: 🤔 .. I'll take it!

Client: I dont want you to rush. Okay?
Me: Okay sir.
Client: But I need it tomorrow.

Whaaaaaaat????

So it’s not been announced yet so I can’t tell anyone else other than my wife but I need to say it somewhere and this is anonymous....

I’VE JUST BEEN PROMOTED!! Technical Lead!!! And a 14% raise!!

Yay!!!

PM: That screwdriver you built me is really nice. I like how it works with all screws and bolts, does the work itself, etc., but I simply can’t get it to paint, and I really need it to cut my sandwich. Can it cut my sandwich?

PM: Also, since you finished it, the neighbor’s can opener doesn’t work, my dog got fleas, and our screw supplier ran into shipping issues. Fix these ASAP!

Bonus:
Also, remember that hack I forced you to do despite you telling me it wouldn’t work? Yeah it isn’t working. You need to fix that too.

Me and co-worker, working with firebase.

Co-worker: Hey man, I need the private key for the server.

Me: Why?

Co-worker: I need to put it in the client so that I can authenticate.

Me: No.

Co-worker: But this guide tells me ...

Me: No

Co-worker: ... that I need it to create tokens so I can log in.

Me: ... No.

Co-worker: But the guide..

Me: If the guide would ask you to kill yourself, would you?

Co-worker: No but..

*I walk over*

Me: This isn't even related to what we are doing. You can see it in the title.

Me: Did you read the title of this post?

Co-worker: No.

Can remember where I found this but it gave me a good laugh. Need to find IRL.

There is no need to ever put your greasy-ass nasty fingers on my screen, it may not look expensive or nice but I don't want to deal with your fingerprints all over it.

BOSS: i will need your resume for this new project, can you make it?
ME: sure, but don't you have one?
BOSS: yes, but i would need it changed for a new details
ME: ok...

after work...

BOSS: we have a problem, remember that resume? we need it on english, and need it right now, can you translate it at home?
ME: ok, but give me a few minutes...

sends translated resume...
BOSS: ummm, it's not translated well, you didn't translate your education...
ME: the name of the school? you can't translate that...
BOSS: this lady asked for it, so do it...
ME: ok...

sends again...
BOSS: not quite there yet, you have Ć in your last name, translate that...
ME: translate my last name?
BOSS: yeah, this lady has a spell check and saw that incorrect...
ME: .....

im going to celebrate when i leave this itterate shithole

Boss: "Why weren't you in the project meeting? You were supposed to present!"
Me: "I'm not on that project, Bob was before he quit."
Boss: "Yeah, but I assumed you'd take it over. We need you to be working on it."
Me: "What? I don't know anything about it, nothing."
Boss: "Yeah, but you guys went to lunch together, what else would you have talked about?"

Developer: Can you upgrade my machine to Windows 10? I need it for SQL server 2019.

IT Guy: Sure.

Some time later...

IT Guy: Good news, Windows 10 is loaded. Bad news, I need to update TPM to enable Bitlocker but the firewall is blocking me from downloading the update. I will need to download it from home tonight.

Developer: But you're the IT administrator...

IT Guy: Yes...

Developer: ...

I made this a couple of years ago for a joke but no one really got it.

It's a printable smartwatch that always tells the right time, no need for charging...

Client: "I need you to implement a feature which does x"
Me: "We can it do like this, I can do it in Y hours."
Client: "Perfect do it"

Me: "Here you go have a look and if you give your ok I'll implement it on production."
Client:"That is not what I need. I need Z"
Me: "Well then you should have said Z and not x. But I can do Z if you want me to."
Client:"Do it it is urgent!!!!111"

Me: "All done here you go."
Client: "That works like what I said what I need, but I meant more like xZ."
Me: "Ok, you know I have to charge you for all this, do you?"
Client: "What why? It isn't the feature I wanted!!11 Do it right and I'll pay you for the right one!"

Me: "It might not be what you wanted but it is exactly what you specified to me. I'll send you the bill and will not continue working for you. Good luck finding someone who is willing to do unpaid work for you."

I am so done with that kind of client.

Forgive me, for I have sinned 😥

But vsCode can’t do what I need it to do right now

For the love of dog, if I select English on your online store, it doesnt mean I live in the UK, therefore show me prices in £ pounds, It just means I cannot speak German but I need to read English, but pay in € Euros!!! Can people please stop confusing Language with Location!!!!

Often saying fuck it when I've got a project and I kind of really need to use git but I'm not good with it so I just go back to good old scp again 😅

I just hit the scales this morning. I need to lose 10 kg ASAP.

My brain loves programming but my body hates it.

Client: ‘A customer called and said that the checkout is broken.’

Me: What was broken about it? It’s functioning as expected for me and other orders.

Client: I don’t know but we need it fixed by tonight.

That moment that you need something but your skillset isn't good enough to make it and your time is too limited to learn it.

I fucking hate those moments.

I code for fun until it isn’t any fun anymore, then I code because I need to finish.
But no code is ever finished.
I shall code forever!

Random dev online: Any chance you could help me figure out how to use something the company you worked for wrote? I need to do XYZ

Me: I didn't write it but sure. Theres a doc here about the full process of doing XYZ <link>

Random dev 5 seconds later: But how do I actually do it? The link doesn't show how to do it via code.

Me: You'll find if you actually read it, that it does. Because I checked. Good day

There was once this customer, which wanted a project done. It was for around 2/3 weeks of work. The arranged cost was 500€, but when I said how long I'll need, he said:
No. I need it done in 5 days. Every day over, I deduct 50€ from the payment.
I was out of the building in less than a minute.
Fuck this type of customers.

!Rant But after seeing this I laughed like hell I need to share this to all my dev folks.

Client: “Our next requirement, we need an elephant”
IT Team: But why don’t you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big…. and black?”

Client: No, we need an elephant only.
IT Team: Fine, I understand your requirement. But our system supports only a buffalo…

Client:We need only an elephant!
IT Team: Ok, let me see if I can customize it for you”

At the Offshore Development Centre :
BA – Client wants a big black four legged animal, long tail, less hair. Having trunk is mandatory. The same was documented, signed off and sent to offshore for development! Based on requirement all features are supported in base product (as buffalo), for trunk alone a separate customization is done.

Finally the customization is shown to client, and the client faints

Addon to this, testers completed their test case as above

After 16 years of porn addiction, I've finally realized that the only way to stop any addiction, is to take control of your mind. Nobody can help you, except make you realize the source of the problem or factors that cause it.

It's strange to describe how the mind works, sometimes we need stuff in our lives because we need to spend time on something to avoid the emptiness.

Free yourself from the things you love the most, in my case I love playing video games, it helps me feel complete, but in all honesty, I don't need it. I like drinking energy drinks, but in the end, I don't need that too.

My point is that once you find a way to deal with the things you can't live without, you find a way to live with it.

The only reason I watch porn is to reduce stress or have something "fun" to do.

As Bruce Lee once said: Be formless, be shapeless, be water my friend.

I like to think that he means to let the urge flow within you, but don't let it control you.

Ehm... but I think I need it...

I always wanted to have comments in JSON files, but I just discovered a really good alternative:
{
"//": "This is a comment",
"somekey": "somevalue"
}

Looks kinda ugly but it works! No need for special unconventional parsers and shit.

!rant
Just finished my CNC.
Lots of problems but it works... More or less.
Need better steppers and other drivers. But I did it, learned a lot, did lots of mistakes, and don't get me started on debugging hardware...
Z axis unfortunaly can't even pull the motor up lol.

Boss: "is it done yet?"

Me: "I've been telling everyone we have a problem and I need all hands on deck. I've already analyzed the issue and explained it to you and the options but YOU PEOPLE NEED TO DECIDE or I decide and probably break things along the way..."

Why does everyone ignore me when I need help but are ok asking me when they need help?

/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻

One developer to me:
I will need access to root account on that new machine you just installed so that I can install/configure all the stuff and so you won't have to do it.
Me - I can't give you root. Not even sudo, this will be a production machine, I need to have a clean track of it.
D - but I will give it (root) back to you once I'm done.
Me - look pal, root access is like virginity. I can give it away but I will never be able to get it back.
D - But you can remove my access later. And, talking about virginity, there are operations that "restore" virginity ;)
Me - yes, and I can take access to root from you afterwards, which would be similar to the procedure you are referring to. But it won't change the fact that the server was already fucked.

On call this week, so I answered the phone when it rang, because it's my d job, but WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING ME AT 0410 MY TIME WHEN MY COWORKER IS ON THE CLOCK AT 0710 HIS TIME AND HE'S ABLE TO TAKE THE CALL?! You didn't need me. It was the same issue as yesterday, BUT I DIDN'T FIX A DAMN THING. It resolved itself. The "customer" you had on the phone to work with me to resolve the issue didn't need to be called either, just the application dev. Stop calling people who don't need to be awake just because we were the ones on the call when it self-resolved and none of us know what's going on.

I leave to visit a customer and leave my iPhone charger plugged into my computer.

I come back and my colleague has my charger, the converstaion goes as follows.

Me: "Can i have my charger back?, it was plugged into my machine before i left."
Colleague: "Why do you need it?"
Me: "To charge my phone?"
Colleague: "Yeah, but i need to charge mine"
*The cable is plugged into his phone, charging*
Me: "Yeah, but its my cable, that you took"
Colleague: "Just wait until I'm done"
Me: null

What has even happened lol

I don't always leave my job..
But when I do, I leave a bunch of shitty code that will make the next developer suffer.

That's what they get if they keep asking 'We need it now/today'

Game dev update: I'm procrastinating the project cuz I need help with stupid background and it doesnt mix well so Im just contemplating existence
But I did this for fun

My boss: "We need this feature by Friday"
Me: "I can make it work, but I need more time to do it properly"
Boss: "Just fix it by Friday, and you can make a proper implementation later, when there is time"

Like there will ever be time once it works...

Fuck it, I'll learn Rust.
The syntax looks otherworldly, but it's supposed to be nice and fast, which I currently need, so...

I need to build this, but fuck php.
Research.
Chose ruby on rails.
Bougth course on Udemy.
Took another course on Lynda.
Build it.
Now I love ruby.

hey guys. I just wanted to share that I've just finally passed my masters degree defense. I still can't quite belive it, and I feel as derpy as before, but oh my fucking god, I finally passed (it took me forever).
Now just need to wait for the uni paperwork to the the formal papers and shit. but HELL YES FINALLY OMFG

I think we need a separate Internet where you get a fucking lifetime ban for mentioning chatgpt. It's like NFT thing but worse. People have verbal diarrhea. IT WRITES SHIT CODE, WE GET IT, SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY

Finally resigned.
I didn't hate my work but I need to grow. I was 4 years experienced and I was working on entry level positions. That's because for getting promoted I need to work like I'm on the next level for a year consistently, I don't know if I was working on next level but I felt confident that I can, so I switched companies finally. I don't know if work will be a lot what will I do but I have enough hard skills, my soft skills might not be that good but I'm finally doing something to achieve growth in that area. I'll be scared, anxious, helpless and all but let it be. I'll sprint, rest and repeat.

Something you guys might loathe me for... But it was on the back of my phone and I need to stick a magnetic car phone holder to it :/

I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship with Ubuntu.

I love it but whenever I'm with it it screws up my environment and doesn't work when I need it to.

I go back to Windows reluctantly and get everything set up and stable. I'm happy, but not excited about it. And then, within a few months, I get that thought. Maybe if I put enough work in I can make Ubuntu work for me as my main environment.

Working on a small little video game, but myself.

I need an artist eventually.

But for now, I've got my little dude running and jumping. It's shit but at least I made it myself.

Also got a big project at work that might get me promoted but don't really care about that.

It happened.
It finally fucking happend, I wish it didn't, but it happened.

I was in my very first call through zoom were I didn't even speak and didn't even really need to listen.

About 1h.

Everything could have been an e-mail, of course

When I got to learn about json yesterday I hate it cause I need to do extra work to MVC project. But after today the instructor told us what it does, and I love it. Gonna start learning this stuff more tomorrow

So I want to watch Olympics events on TV but apparently need a premium cable channel not in my package (NBC-SN).

BUT I can use my cable login to stream it online and in the NBC Sports app

AND the app supports Chromecast internally

In the end I still get to watch on my TV but... Why all this trouble....

So we are implementing a big and very complete localization management system on my company. The system has great features, indeed, but:

1. We cannot use the browser back button, because it is js and it appears no one cared about it (I am not a js Dev, but you can UAE the back button on my site that has js);

2. It is very customizable, but not intuitive. So you have one million options and you never know where to change what you need;

3. It has a save button everywhere, but most options are saved automatically, so you never know when you need to save. Actually, people from the webapp company use the save button as refresh, once we cannot use the browser refresh button;

4. Combo boxes load the elements while you scroll them, so to scroll to the bottom, you need to keep scrolling several times, waiting it to load the elements;

5. It does not allow you to open more than one tab of it at the same time. So if you need to see more than one information from different items, you need to navigate and wait the loading times to see what you need;

6. Emails are not sent in a different thread. So each action that send emails you need to keep waiting until the emails are sent (sometimes there are several emails sent in one action) to continue using it;

7. They not only store and send back your password by email if you loose it, but, as admin, if I click the button to send the user password to him/her, it keeps a copy of the email with the user password in my sent items;

8. To be able to send emails (they are really necessary), I need to include my SMTP info with login and password. So they have not only the system password saved, but everyone email login and password as well.

I am sure there is more, but I can't remember for now, and we are still trying to figure it out how to back our data, as it appears the only possible backup is their own.

No, brain. I don't need to know Python.

Shut up, you already know Ruby, PHP, and a fuckton of front-end tech, you don't need to --

Do you remember the 3 projects that we aren't working on anymore because we have the PS4 and Assassin's Creed?

I already have a job, moron! It sounds fun, but we...

What am I doing on codecademy?

We're gonna make t-shirts connected with smart advertisements on it. I heard you are a programmer, I'll only need a web site and mobile app. If it work I may pay you. But you know it's seems quite easy I'm note sure you'll need money for that.

!Rant

My boss just gave me a task "deploy this project today".
1. Made by a junior dev, and I have to take responsibility to upload it in this short time (no blame to jun dev, she's new and need to practice)
2. In a crm that I personally never used before, I need to study it and adapt at least the paths
3. Task was given at 13.48 during lunch pause.
But
But
The best is yet to come
Wait

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ready?
4. He doesn't know the server where to deploy it!
No one knows.
The IT doesn't answer, but still, I have to deploy a project TODAY (2h and 47 minutes left eob).

I presented a graduation relevant project this week.
We re maked our school website. Our teachers liked it, the most students liked it too.
But at the beginning I made wrong decisions.

The guy who should design it made nothing and at the presentation, he told that you need a pencil and eraser to design a website.
A "friend" of mine should do the HTML/CSS part but instead of finish it, he made a not working search bar in JS and was like "I made this, it doesn't work and we don't need it but give me attention"

I hate working in a group.

Sorry for spelling mistakes, English is not my native language.

Does anyone want to take this stupid exam for me? I keep missing it on practice exams by 1 question. I'm sad. I know if i gave a damn about this material, i could do it. But i don't give a damn. It's required for my current position but I'm about to switch teams in a few months and will no longer need it.

I really miss putting on some headphones and getting shit done while listening to some rock.

I like pair programming, but doing it all the time is starting to feel exhausting. I need some "me" time, ya know?

You came to me with a problem, and I have the solution. I'm working with you to achieve a goal not for you.
I don't need you, you need me.

I've been using the above statement for a little over two years. Has been working pretty well. Might not apply to or help everyone but it sure helps me.

Wasted a couple of hours because I was overthinking it so damn hard. Reduced a whole module into a simple, single function.

I should stop adding feature I don't even need, but think other might need😰

PM: "Please try to prioritize this request that we made last Friday at 5pm over all your other high priority stuff we know you're busy and we should have requested this 3 months ago... but now we need to deliver next week and well we need it"

5 minutes later "When can you deliver that?"
Another 5 minutes later "Sorry can you give me that delivery date? We REALLY need it"

Well maybe if you leave me in peace and I can concentrate on my job rather than answering silly requests I can make up an idea of how much time I need to deliver... but of course I'm just a code monkey, I press some randome keys and the magic happens.

*Writes code, doesn’t test* “Ah this works, I’ve done it before”

*Finishes project, runs test, errors everywhere* “FUCK!”

I do it on non-important projects... but I need to stop before I start doing it on important projects 😑

Firefox: You know what our users need?
Ads in new tabs!

FML

Yes I know it is "optional" but why should it be there in the first place?

I just bought a USB mobile power pack... Here my thought:

-It's on sale!
-But do I really need it?
-.... Will I could give it to my dad if I don't...
-but what it's it been... Chinese products are cheap...
-this isn't cheap... It's just on sale!
-hm....
-you know you'll need it.. at the rate my phone's battery gets used in a years time it won't be able to leave half a day...
-hm....
-cmon only $21 hrs left... this is a steal... It's only 15$....

-ah ok.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*After buying**

It's not too late to cancel.... Should I cancel?

Why is it that every library has some kind of an "example", but every time I need a more complex one, there are exactly zero

I need to expand my CS related book collection, it's too small
I have lots of ebooks but I don't like reading them much ... real books are just better
Any must-reads I should add to it?

I need a hobby or someone to yell at me until I take a break from working all day every day.

Then again if I had a home office I probably wouldn't need to put in 12 hours to get 6 hours of work done.

But I still need something to do besides work and family. And someone to kick my butt until I do it and relax.

Honestly? I was always good at maths and creativity. And so, programming was natural to me. I was always good at it with minimum effort. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

... Algorithms were a whole other story tho. I'm still not confident 'bout any algos I program from scratch. But hey, if it works, it works. (that became my motto about algos, kinda)

Forgot one thing tho: looking at relevant code to whatever I'm doing, be it in a tutorial or stackoverflow. I don't need the text or tutorial or explanation, I need to see code examples.

Finally installed Linux(Mint) on my laptop.

I guess I'll need to install some essential things that I need to really make use of it. I'm just exploring right now and so far, I'm loving it.

Got really tired of the BSOD that Windows kept giving me.
I've tried a few solutions, but it seems like it has made its comfortable nest inside and shows its sad face whenever it feels like it and ruins my important work (not really, but it really pisses me off)
Can't get rid of Windows completely because I need it for various reasons.

I've used Linux(Red Hat) before and also my university computers have Red Hat installed.
I would've also installed it on my PC, but it doesn't work right now.

Thanks,guys!
(For making me want to use Linux)
I really have a lot to learn.

PS - I can barely see what I'm typing here. Is it just me or is it really just bright as shit? (On web, of course)

"The client is complaining that the data takes a long time to load."
Me, after investigating: "Does the client really need [not an exaggeration, actual figures] 130,000 rows of data?"
"I will show them these stats but they said they need it"

Me: "Here is the new feature you asked for. You can select from the dropdown and if it's "Other" you can put the details in the text field next to it"

Them: "I need to add options to the dropdown"

Me: "If you need something added to the dropdown, just let me know and we can get it added, but we need to control that field"

Them: "It won't be necessary to communicate with you to add something to the dropdown"

Me: "Yes. It will be"

Starting my morning with some hard lemonade. It’s no single malt, but fucking hell do I need it.

Dev: The server is completely down right now. Nobody can access the application, we need to divert some resources to horizontally scaling our app.

Manager: Hm, this was not in the schedule. I need to consult senior leadership on what to do about this. I don’t want to be held accountable for making a decision on this complex and highly nuanced situation.

Dev: No need, I have a solution. Just need a week to build/test/deploy the ability to horizontally scale.

Manager: But that will cause delays to new features.

Dev: New features don’t matter if the app can’t even load.

Manager: Ok you can implement your solution but it can’t take any time. I need those new features out.

Dev: ???????

I don’t know what the fuck is going on here in Limburg (province in Belgium) but companies seriously need to stop using Comic Sans

I see it on banners, trucks, flyers and just about everything .. it seriously triggers me 😩

Today my phone screen broke!

Need to fix it..

But I realized that using a LeEco phone, my company's already too broke to fix it!

Now that I have a ++, I changed my BG Color so that it looks nice but I think we need a full color picker now.

BTW @dfox any ++ privileges on this? Maybe you could add my Drafts feature 😉😏

PM: I don't like the number of meetings we have
Me: Oh I agree. We have too..
PM: We don't have enough of them.
Me: (oh... I was going to say that we need to cut back... But ok)
PM: I need better visibility into what everyone is doing.
Me: (so you wanna micromanage. Got it...)
Me: ... Gotcha, yup... Writing that down.

What the fuck, accessed it via hidden release page now, but why the fuck would I need to create a fucking account just to download it, fucking lunatics.

"Ok, so if you want this thing to show up here you need to set this property, ok?"

Client: "Ok, but how about I just don't and complain that it doesn't work?"

!Rant

I have not slept in 28 hours.

I discovered Quantum computing, pubo and simulators.

I FEEL it can solve my business problem, but it is fucking time consuming to write this code. (In a good way).

I do not need sleep at this point, I need answers!

Anyone with good links to either pubo examples or a useful quantum algorithm, I’ll take it ! (not the random number… I have already run that on a real QPU 9Still no idea how much that run cost in $)!)

My setup. Not much but im proud to say that i didnt overspend in parts (ok mwy the mastercase 5 was not necessary but it looks sick imo). Just need a proper 2nd screen and then a 3 rd and a 4th....

Playing Portal 2
Not only has this game a need for understanding highly complex problems - but it also was the first game besides Minecraft I started to mod and really had something valuable come out!

I still can't get it why people looks at IT people as lowlife. If you need a new computer in your office I can get the right spec and help you to buy it. But moving the computer table is not my job 😠

The wonderful feeling when i need to implement new functionality but it only takes a few minutes bc I actually created a framework that I can reuse instead of writing duct tape code from scratch 😎😊😆😙

How my day went.

Project Manager: We need deliverable X.

Me: That's not listed.

PM: But we need it. Other PM says what you provided isn't enough.

Me: Too bad. I was not told to deliver it.

PM2: We need deliverable X.

Me: Look at the requirements. It is not there. I'm not providing it.

PM2: We need it. Let me ask PM3.

PM3: We need deliverable X.

Me: No. It's not listed. And here's why it's not even applicable.

PM3: Oh....ok

Me: here is my idea with the code. Does it follow what you had in mind?
Dev lead : this is good...really good but if you could take everything you have here and make it a reusable module that would be great!
Me: so it is or isn't what you had in mind?
Dev lead :: it is but I need you to change it all.
Me....FML

Calling All Developers!

This is very very random, but I am taking an IT Careers class for my software Development degree. As my last assignment, I need to interview a software developer. I don't know any personally and we were told we can reach out to people online who have had lots of experience. I don't know if this is too weird, but I need an interviewee just to answer about 20 questions. I'm so stuck and don't know where to go!

So you may have noticed that I'm making a way to create devRant Webhooks (see last rant), but now I need you help:

What Webhooks would/could you need?
What does it do?
What additional fields does it need (for example for specific tags)?
What data does it send?

Thanks in advance!

!rant
I need a new OS.
I have one year of Kubuntu, one year of Fedora KDE and there years of Arch Linux (Openbox, KDE, i3wm).

Now I'm undecided between debian and Arch Linux as a stable System.

What do you guys recommend me?

I hate picking huge software from AUR and need to compile it, but i hate having always a, yes stable package, but under versioned...
(and, exist a Debian minimal without everything Archstyle?)

Reasons I'm glad I'm out of freelance:

I want you to rebuild my website but you need to do it here in front of me so if it breaks later, I can fix it.

Did you know? TL;DR stands for "too long; didn't read".
BUT DID YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT THE REST OF THE FUCKING TEXT MATTERS TOO?

Fucking read the rest before trying to be helpful. You wouldn't discuss a book after reading the summary, the same applies to questions.

"just do it like that"
"But that's not what I asked, I need it this way"
"Why would you need it this way?"
"ID fucking K. Maybe I left a fucking hint about that in the context? Can you spare like one or two minutes to read the context?"

All set up.
I found the shelf under the "ghetto" blaster outside today. Cleaned it up and it was good to go.
Put my dad's old music box on top of it. It's a bit dusty. Also need to clean that up. But for now I think it looks cool from under my desk haha

It's one of those days where I just need to let it it out. I'M A FUCKING IMPOSTER.

but I'm going to keep learning anyway. 👺

I worked a few times for free until the client decided he doesn't need anymore that product so he doesn't need to pay me.
From that moment i started to ask for advance payments, but a lot of times I calculated incorrectly the real price of my work miscalculating the number of hours it will take, ending working for less than 3€ per hour...

I love freelancing, but I'm really bad at evaluating my work.

One fucking week I was trying to solve a bug where I could save data to neo4j but not retrieve it.

I thought there has to be a bug within the library. But it turns out, I referenced the wrong class.

I need ducks...

Java, as browser plugin. (I don't mind the language though). Especially since when Oracle bought it.

I would talk about it, but I need to update that crap AGAIN!

I don't need a relationship to be in an emotional rollercoaster.

Javascript makes me cry every day but it still is my favorite language

I've been awake 40 hours now... I do need to finish this site ... I do not have much brain capacity left but I know it like the back of my hand ..

I dunno if I should sleep or 🤔 finish it ... Currently crashing sugar low no caffeine so 😐 I need to be up in two hours anyway

That feeling when you find a library in GitHub that does everything you need but you see it hasn't been updated in more than two years... Just in case I answered a few issues, I hope I helped someone

"I'm a cook. I have a lot of experience... so, don't question me there - but I have this one question: I have some food. I need to make it hot. What library can I use to make hot? Please help. I'm on a deadline."

Maybe people have not been around a long time here. But this JS bashing has been going on for half a decade. I honestly don't care about the merits of the language. It does what I need it to for my work. If I need more performance I drop to the C++ anyway. I like a lot of the functionality especially for arrays/lists. I love the ... operator for dynamic lists. It is very useful in the my GUI work. As a scripting language it is pretty nice.

But know this, the bashings will continue until morale improves...

Today I gave Php a try, I leaned the basics and oriented object programming of it . but now I dont know how to make UI in PHP . ans I need some advice what should I learn next im a .net programmer

What good is a ssh-server when the machine doesn't even connect to the lan? Seriously, this is a fresh version of ubuntu server and i just updated the packages.

i think im losing my mind.

i swear i placed like, 10 labels on my VB form, the designer even shows it's there! but when i run it for testing it all disappears!

i think i need a break.

How do I shake the feeling that I need to know everything? As I learn more about development and its various aspects I feel like I need to master every technology and I know that's impossible but I can't help but feel it. It gets to the point sometimes where I'm paralyzed with indecision and I can't decide what to start learning

I have so much shit I want/need to learn. I've started learning C while picking JavaScript back up, I'm learning basic electronics but I have a lot planned for that. Not even related but I want to fucking Cook, yeah i said it i wanna cook but why does that make me feel like i should just stop and go back to programming. Idk I just spill shit in these rants. Also wanna learn to speak another langauge but can't find the time, and I have college and dude I'm trying and trying and I need someone to appreciate something I do before I flip or before C destroys my entire being from being the weirdest yet interesting yet fucking brain melting. And fuck JS I Love it but sometimes it's a twat let's be honest

I do not have the capacity to look for a job. I hate trial-and-error, I can't lie and I suck at talking to people in all but a cooperative context. I'm a decent webdev and I'm willing to learn, but to be able to do it I need skills that I don't have and I wouldn't need.

Am I the only one who doesn't really see feel or need as an insult? Geek means someone who "messed around" with tech and need is someone who is smart. Why do people get offended by it? I mean, I get that people mean it offensively but is it really something to get that upset about? If someone was to call me a geek or need. Imma walk with my head high and own it.

Software Development Process

0. I can't fix this
1. Crisis of confidence
2. Questions career
3. Questions life
4. Oh it was a typo, cool

*Not my original content, but it made me smile and I need one more point on this uncomfortably hot day

Cordova or Xamarin?

I need to build a mobile app again, mostly for Android, because an interior Official app's functionality is so interior (written but monkeys) that it has finally pissed me of enough to take action.... And possibly be profitable (ads banner).

Mostly targeting Android but hey why not hit them all or at least also UWP.. I ain't paying for the Apple license... (Or maybe dfox could help release it...)

Anyway, which is better? I kinda want to pick up React and maybe try Typescript? (currently work with MEA(v1)N at work)

But I also use C# WPF, but mostly for my own projects these days when I need a desktop GUI.

I don't really feel like relearning Android SDK, I learned the SDK back when it was for Ice Cream.

I havent touched swing in months, and now when i need to come back to it everything is Windowbuilder. Trouble is, nothing is included in Eclipse and I don't have time to go around hunting for the packages I need. Netbeans is marginally better, but GODDAMN its frustrating when it auto-gens code that you have to use N++ to edit...

when a senior and tech lead write conflicting PR comments ~1 week apart

i dont give a fuck, ill do it either way you want but you 2 need to sort out how the fuck you want it

Sometimes, I use the Twitter's advanced search to find a tweet I wrote saying (sic) "DUDE, I LOVE YOU", because it also linked to a repository that I found (and still find) overly useful, but can't manage to remember anytime I need it.

FUCK!!! I JUST FINISHED WRITING THE MOST AWESOME RANT BUT THE APP CRASHED RIGHT WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO POST....

TLDR: I wrote an old app and now need it again and amazingly it works...

This pic is now not so effective anymore but that was how I was feeling when I was writing the original

Need a advice.
Have been a Windows user since many years. But at college I do use ubuntu and am familiar with it. So now I have developed interest in using Linux due to its simplicity and ease of use.
But for some tasks I still need Windows. So thinking to Dual boot my laptop. Have heard dual boot harms the laptop, makes it slow, blah blah.

So Is it advisable to Dualboot on a same machine?

My config:-
intel core i5 7th gen; 8 gb ram, 1 tb HDD,. 2gb AMD R5.

*Task too simple but says "discuss about it"*

*I'm weary of its simplicity, it seems deceptive*

Me: hey, about this thing to discuss, what about it? Is there something I need to know about that I don't?

Boss: read the code

*I'm now even more weary of the task*

I need internet but no phone calls during night, so plane mode is not the it.

*activating the silent mode.
*wake up one hour later at the morning.

oh..

If you think some developers are a dumb.... you've never met support...

They need "training" to use systems they should already know...

I didn't know the system much either but just by looking at the screen and trying a few simple options, I figured it out...

I need a new word, and maybe job, what is dumber is than a monkey?

It could just be me, but I feel lime I have an extreme lack of money to pursue projects. I know java really well, but I want to develop android apps. That's fine until you consider the fact that the only computers I have available to me at my house are very old. A gradle build in android studio on my PC takes <10min. So I just really need a better computer which means I need money which means I need a job which is unlikely because not many people hire 15 year olds. In fact, my parents bought a laptop last year for me to use, but my older sister fried the video out component on the motherboard so it needs a new one which is ~$300

Listen dude I get it, you've been in more of a Systems Admin role for a long time, you haven't really worked on a devlike team.

I can be patient I can be understanding. But when you break the build you need to fix it.

Yes I know you didn't change any of the files that are now failing, but you the pipeline is no longer deploying and so we can't fix anything.

Okay dude we are being prevented from deploying because you broke the build, you need to fix it. It's stopping everyone else.

DUDE FIX THE FLIPPING BUILD EVERYONE IS WAITING FOR YOU TO FIX THAT!

Seriously I know we should be patient with people learning new things, but some days it is difficult.

Maybe im wrong but still, damn policies, at my job i need a code review and a commit review before committing code and Im ok with that but hell, I was required to run the api tests when I only modified 2 front end file, i mean seriously i need to run c# tests after modifying angular components. It just seems silly and foolish and a complete waste of time to run the tests for all the projects when i didnt even modified one.

If you work with me and know who I am then stho and accept it. :p

Co-worker: "You don't need to know the math! Stop going on about it."

Me: "I think you do for some things, my algebra is not good at all, I need to improve it a lot and I just think you should too."

Co-worker: "Oh stop it, If the code runs it's OK!"

Me: "Well yeah, the code runs but you're over-fitting like a mad man and have a P-value of a bejillion."

Co-worker: "What!?"

"data scientist"

Do I need ccna for pentest?
I know it's about network administration but I was wondering if it will help me see things the way the sysadmin does.

Ugh I hate jQuery. It's so bloated, and I can do everything I need without it. But I can't get rid of it cause WordPress absolutely needs it.

At least I can pretend it doesn't exist on my personal projects.

RPi or any other alternative? I need at least 2GB of RAM and getting two RPis is not an option lol

I like OrangePi but not sure how good it is tbh

No Facebook for three weeks and haven't felt any need to check.

#DeleteFacebook.

Honestly, I didn't use it heavily but needed a motivation to leave it. So I take this as God sign to leave it.

can't fcking post a question in stackoverflow!! it says i need to format my codes but i dont have fckin codes in my post!

Has anyone regretted wiping their Windows PC for Linux? Ive been wanting to wiped my PC for Ubuntu but I don't have the guts to do it. I keep thinking maybe I'll need Windows later.

Recruiter rant.
Me as a fresher.
Submit your resume?
I thought you went through it before you called me down.
Yes, but I will need a copy.
Don't you have it in your inbox.
(And I was rejected.)

I love python. But in JS I hate it when I do a lot of nesting then end up missing a bracket. That shit is crazy. Python you just need to see the indentation. Very easy to debug.

I am using Manjaro as the main OS on my computer. But I have an original Windows 10 license, as well as an Office 2013.

I want/need to have them installed on PC, as I need to use it sometimes.

But if I install my Windows 10, it will certainly destroy my grub and I know I will have a hard time to make it work again.

Would it be a good idea to install them on a virtual PC? I know it would not be good with games, but the only game I have is GTA IV (that I am not even sure if it still works on Windows 10).

Thanks!

Why would they add a reason for downvoting but no reason for upvoting? Why would they make it harder to dislike something but like something? I mean, why would they? WHY DO THE APPLICATION NEED A REASON SO THAT I COULD DOWNVOTE SOMEONE

WHY

WHY

DAILY LARAVEL PROBLEMS

I need to parse a JWT with some custom claims. There's a JWT library with Laravel; documentation really lacking, kinda hardcoded to work with Laravel but whatever; it's already installed, let's see what can I do with it.

It turns out I can't say something like "take this token, parse it, tell me it's valid". Let's see how that goes.
You need to build a parsing class with a manager, some auth stuff, a parser.
To build said manager you need a provider that implements a contract, a blacklist, a factory (of what?)
To build the factory (of what?) you need a claim factory and a payload validator
To build the claim factory you need a request
To build the blacklist you need a Storage
To build the storage you need a CacheContract
To build a CacheContract you need IDK it's a mess
To build the contract you need... IDK for real

WHY LARAVEL IS SHIT: 'cause only in this framework it seems reasonable to build this clusterfuck to parse a base64 encoded string, throw some json_decode and check a signature. And have it work only to authenticate a user.

10 Months ago i started with webdev. Before i never program at all, but i Fall in love. The only thing i hate about webdev is this.

dude:look at my Website?
me: how did you do this?
dude: i used 900000 frameworks. it was really easy.
me: ...

I know.. you don't need to reinvent the wheel, but if don't think about what actually happens, where is the fun??

i don't know if it is also the case in Software dev but i don't like the way it evolves

When your project starts off well structured, but ends up like a pile of goo. I need more experience it seems.

I‘m currently writing a http proxy server (something like the proxy mod in Apache, but more special). One the one hand is is nice that HTTP 1.1 can use one TCP connection multiple times, but on the other hand it is very annoying. Because I need to rewrite the Host header. And therefore I need the start of the HTTP header. I solved it after some time, but now my code is more complicated than before.

I need to link two APIs such that data sent on one API gets processed and it hits a second API with the processed data.
The first API needs to format the data and decide according to data format which second API needs to be used. I checked Zapier and it's working but it is not exactly what i need to do. So are there any options other than setting up my own server?

Finally I have something decent for my résumé.
I was going through some LaTeX hell before someone started a cv tools discussion. It was good to learn that json cv is a thing. But it was too late for me. LaTeX posed a challenge and I was bored. It became personal.
After a lot of kicking around and landing on XeLaTeX, I finally have a decent layout. I had to compromise a tiny bit but that's on me for having little content.
(I wanted a graphic résumé but I'll need to do more to sufficiently fill a page. Besides I'd need to design icons and shit for it.)

Now it's done and my job hunt can start!

!dev

Fuuuuuuuuck

My passport is expired and I need it soon, another way for the government to take more of my time and money

(Yes ultimately it's my own fault but still fuuuuuuuuck)

Finally got to play around with CSS grid today. Only dipped my toe in but it's very promising. Just have to test it a ton since I still need to support IE11 😒

!rant

I need advice. I want to build new pc and i can get i7-4770k for 100 €, but one thing that turns me down about that is older socket. Should i go for it ? Or should i get something with new architecture ?

I hate it when we have weeks of planing, i know that it is important in soft eng but yet it is too long. I rather get a prototype, test it and get real results instead of daily brainstormings based on theories.
People need to grow guts and test !

Just had my first lesson of the course Web Development. We got an explanation of what html, css, js and php are. Nothing bad ever happened from repeating what you already know, so yeah..

But then came the horror: We need to make a website in FUCKING WORDPRESS!! I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO BUILD A FUCKING WEBSITE WITHOUT A FUCKING SHIT CMS!!

So I showed the teacher my personal website and asked if I could use and/or extend that. They loved it, but I still need to build a website using fucking wordpress!! Not even using php! No, we need to build it with the UI of wordpress.

I know that's not even hard. It's just.. WORDPRESS!!

I guess I'll just have to live with it :/

I've worked with a couple of languages but python won my heart at the end
Been using it for 5 years now
But I feel I need to revisit java and c#
But my python conscience whispers:
"Yu want to dump me now... of all the things we've done together"

I hate that feeling when I say "I think I could fix it" and eventually accepting that I have to ask for help, and maybe pay for it. That feeling tastes like defeat, and it's the same way people feels when they need my services. I think this should help me be more sympathetic with clients, but it doesn't.

I try to take print using elementary os. I have connected the printer usb port but in printer settings it is not showing up the printer name.what I need to do.

Spring boot does very much automagically.... but to find every possible configuration is hard....

I found out that it has an automatic config for Scheme Server... but how the fuck to configure it 😑

And do I still need avro made domain objects 🤔 it's hard to fight through all these documentations and versions of spring. 😖

I remember being a TA for an intermediate java class. I tried helping as many people as I could, but some of them were doomed. Their code looked like it was written by Satan himself. I would try explaining why their code was bad, but it was like speaking another language (no pun intended). It was also the first class where people needed to use git... I don't need any more explanation there.

I think I am really passionate bout programming and want to build something innovative but I need a fellow programmer to do it with. I am ready to put any kinda work in!

I seem to have this impressive ability, where I can manage to absolutely nothing for hours, and still be fine with it... I believe I need to be more productive, but I can't seem to find any reason to

My flatmate's previous flatmate left this for me. It used to belong to the CS department, but they gave away random stuff they didn't need anymore. What should I do with it?

- Need a module to work with PDFs
- npm install
- But wait, that requires some dependencies
- And those dependencies require more dependencies
- Python not found
- Issues with env variables and wsl
*Bajillion hours later*
- poppler-qt5 not found
What the hecc is a poppler and why do I need it?
:/

I was just curious but don't need it, the domain would be great for a personal blog/portfolio. First come first serve.

Your welcome.

As always IE and Edge holding back progress. Dying to use CSS variables but can't because of these 2 wank browsers. Once this is fully supported it should wipe out the need for pre-processors (IMHO). Not that I feel the need to use pre-processors anyway.

I finally got my web app functioning properly, but now the way I have to pull data to it is killing the performance of the database. Now I need to figure out how to push the data on update.

Have you ever been in the situation "I need to leave this job, my health demands it... But I can't, I need money" ?
What did you do? 😢

I would freelance but I have no idea where to start to find clients...

I would also stop for a while to make a proper portfolio or GitHub profile, since I always worked for companies with code discretion, I have nothing to show to new employers 😕

So guys at the moment Im working at a medical company as a business temp but I really like it here. At the moment they know me as the tech guy. I want to be the official systems administrator here but don't know how to go about doing that.
I have a strong Linux background but everyone here uses windows.
I think that they need a server but I don't think I can just go up to my boss and say "hey, I know I'm not certified yet but hows about you give me money so I can set up a server for you?"
I need advice.

"Can you make this quick change?"

"Yeah, but I'll need to change every page this thing is on and you told me this other project I'm working on is high-priority. Are you sure you want me to do this?" (Also this is a change you're capable of making yourself...)

"It shouldn't take too long, we need this done."

...if I thought it wouldn't take long, I wouldn't have brought it up.

Oh the struggle!
I discovered a potentially valuable/good domain name that's not taken yet - but although it overlaps with my business, I don't really... need it.
Should I grab it or don't I want to be one of those people?

I just love sudo. You need to delete one stupid locked file that's not even locked, but the damn terminal isn't capable to check twice. When you delete the files recursively however, sudo loves you so much it takes the folder as its own, so... I need to remove another thing now! Sure! Why not!

Had a php float value that I needed to use as a string, so I typecasted it.
Later on in the code I need the value again but now it was a string.

Typecasted it back to a floating point.

My colleague almost killed me when he found out what caused the miscalculations.

I am not able to decide what to do. I have two option
1. I am trying for jobs in IT. But haven't got yet. Either i wait for it or
2. I go with Non-IT job for now
I really need to do either of the two.
I want to make my career in IT bit right it seems tough

started to rewrite one of my functional-but-horrible projects. after 2 hours i realize i'm starting to use the same kind of "if it works, great" style.
jesus, i need some sleep.

I need a new language/framework/ANYTHING. I miss the doing-stupid-shit-but-being-excited-about-it-anyway-coz-NEW-LANGUAGE euphoria :'/
And no not python, that shit is shitty.

!rant, but holy shit the ZTE Axon M seems to be just perfect with its dualscreen setup, thats exactly what I fucking need on the go, but why is it US and AT&T only currently, come on!

Hey guys, quick one.

Frontend guys,
I need some CSS library that I can use for project I need do ASAP.

I have +- 1h to learn it, I need frontend and I need it NOW. It can be ugly. Prefered flex grid or sth along these lines. But please, if it has more than 15 minutes of reading through doc's its disqualified.

Any suggestions?
Im backend guy and know no shit about frontend.

NoJs. No Jquery. No JS. Nope. Im not having time for any line of shenanigans of JS.

Thx; peace.

I retract my previous questions because I’m poor/am to lazy to buy the CNC shield I need for the Raspberry Pi (100$WtF)

I need ideas or something to do as a beginner c++ programmer I don’t know much but if it is difficult I would love to hear it

While trying to fall asleep, I came to the conclusion that a solution to privacy would be an encrypted p2p messenger. You'd need a dns-like system that can tell the peers how to contact their communication partners. Then I searched for one, and there was a good looking one, but it wasn't open source. looks secure otherwise, but perfection looks different.

Can anyone recommend something similar to kripter/tell me why it would be secure/insecure to use their service instead of, say, signal? Not that I truly NEED this, but I at least want to try it :)

Hi dev buddies, need some help, need some feedback... What’s you’re feelings on Drupal? I’ve never used it but have been asked to look for a CMS for the company I work for. It’s a newspaper company looking to get its first CMS and ‘managed’, templated websites. There’s more expensive CMS options on the market, but feel Drupal might be a good place to start?

!help

Does anyone know how to use certbot on a Debian stretch azure web service app to generate an SSL cert?

I've got the cert generated and Apache to serve it but it's giving me errors.

I need to bind it in azure somehow but I can't figure out how to export the cert.

wrote myself a toml parser, it works alright but the official specification's in ABNF and boy, oh boy, half the work was figuring that shit out. But, hey, at least I didn't need to actually KNOW enough toml to do it

I saw this from netflix's screensaver-esq display.

That's a great title!... thinking of orchestrating one's internal processes with the subtext of potential inner demons...

but ofc it has nothing to do with the tech term daemon...

I'm pretty sure that I need a break but I have more I need to do.

I love Azure. But WHY do I need to add vCores SQL for more logs/io ?

Why is it even limited ?

So no, I won't add 350$/month for 1 more vCore just for some more Mbits of log io bandwich

For my next internship, i need a Linux distro, which is easy to use and which doesn't need a Lot of resources while using it in Oracle Virtualbox.
Which distro would you prefer, i think About ubuntu but I'm afraid that it would use to much of my limited resources so that it is nearly impossible to code with it.

I really don't balance social and dev life. I know I need some time to socialize but I just can't. It's like my life right now is in front of a computer and lines of code... Not that I don't like it, but I know I need to do other stuff besides coding, but I really don't know what to do and how to manage time. If anyone can give some advice, it would be great.

!rant

Not sure if it's appropriate here...
I think I am getting more affected by the "depression"... Lower productivity, restless sleeps, etc.
I quoted "depression" because I think it's a medical term that I need to get diagnosed before confirming it. I am thinking maybe I need to see a doctor on this but don't know where to start.
Any Hong Kongers here, sharing the same feel?...

Can someone explain Scrum to me, like everything, what it is, why it's used, why it's effective, cases where it isn't effective, what the roles are etc, I've tried to understand it online but to no avail (need a childish explanation I guess)

I feel very frustrated about this situation. I'm studying so I haven't many time to work but I worked last two years and now I feel as a bird with clipped wings. I need a side project, something mine, to work on, to put myself in. I don't need to get money from it but the revenue it's only a confirmation about the success provided by hard work and dedication. I can't fill this emptiness with the study. I feel I just need to work on something I believe, see it grows up and came alive. Every project I start and every line of code I write seems meaningless. This situation is a strange existential drama and hurts me. It's like I forgot how to be satisfied programming. I live in this recurrent melancholy and I don't feel realized.
Sorry for the sad rant but I need some suggestions from someone who can understand me.

Fuck virtual network networking holy shit why is it so hard to just setup simple architecture that took me 2 hours fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck i need a hard scotch

But so satisfying now that i understand it.

So, I need to figure out what ir protocol a controller board uses. I know how to do it with a remote, but how would I do it with the board? Can I reverse engineer the ir reciver to find it's protocol?

I hate that moment when you forget your laptop, but you need it right now.

Well i fucking hate my life right now.. I had a running arch linux installation with i3 as my windows manager.. dont need a desktop environment.. i don't know what i've done but it doesnt boot anymore..

Guess i will reinstall it

The SIM card saga goes on:
To verify yourself, you need to go to some postal office and show them your ID and stuff. Not that this is complicated or anything (well actually, it is. Welcome to 2018 in Germany. We use more papers than potheads for the simplest shit), but you need to have a valid ID. Valid as in NOT EXPIRED. What the fuck. Why does my ID expire. Do I stop existing 3 years after getting it? What does it mean if it is, why is it culpable to have your ID expired. And who gets charged for having none, I mean obviously my ID doesn't identify me anymore?
What the hell man. I don't exist for 6 months now. Am I law free as not identifiable entity or how does it work?

And now the real question:
We got something called Bafög in Germany. Basically you get a bit money while studying. (I still work tho, I don't get really much from it.)
To apply for it, you need some tax number, which seemingly can be seen as a proof of my existence and my identity.
Why is this enough, why don't I need a valid ID there?

Germany is weird man. On the one hand government is all social and you get help if you need it but on the other hand you need to sacrifice 17 virigins to apply for said help..

Emacs.

I dunno why but I feel at home while using Emacs. It is like, it provides everything I need.

Hoarding tendencies.

Exploring different possible solutions for a problem, eventually you or management decide on the way to go, now I should delete the other code I wrote while exploring, but thinking, "ok I may not need it now, but who knows what might come up, let me comment it out until the end of the project when I am certain that it is no longer needed."

Never used a mac computer before but I need a new laptop and I'm considering the option of getting a macbook. I use ubuntu so I would have a dualboot but I would really want to get into iOS development. Does anyone have experience with running Ubuntu on a macbook? Does it work well out of the box? Is there anything I'd need to think about?

Something that I need to learn: not taking it personally when people answer something in which I was wrong by terminating their sentences with "..."

When people finish sentences with an ellipsis, I always assume they're judging me as being stupid or something, but indicating that they're refraining from saying it. Almost feels passive-aggressive. I hate it. But I guess I need to learn not to take it personally.

So i need about a half a yearly budget of some smaller EU state to try out everything on AWS, a fu***g satellite ground station for example... I don't know why should i do with it but i need it

Do you think is it worth buying macbook air or some other laptop for the same price? I know I can get better specs for that money but I dont game or do a lot of video editing so I Don't need a beast graphic card, I just need it for coding. What do you think?