Me: *hours of coding, develops a feature*
Code: I'm working..
Me: Oh good.. will monitor you for sometime.
Code: Ok, I'm done. I'll stop working now.
Me: WTF

Me: *sits for hours to solve bugs*
And when almost done,
VPN: Someone's having a good day, I'll disconnect you now.
Me: WTF

Me: *tries switching on/off VPN couple of times..*
When it starts to connect,
WIFI: Oh wait!! It's my turn to bid goodbye now. Have a nice day sir
Me: Of course !! The wifi

Me: *restarts router/ troubleshoot etc*
When wifi says connected...
Battery: Good job with wifi.. I'm down now..what you gonna do?
Me: Are you fucking kidding me???

Me: *connects charger, wait for laptop to switch on*
Windows: Updating....
Me: *jumps out window*

A friend of mine: Look at this nice app I made 😎
*shows me a normal looking app with tabs and different views"
Me: Hmmm… looks good.
Friend: Do you know how I made the navigation between views? 😏
Me: I'm afraid to ask…
Friend: Since I didn't know how to use the piece of code I found on internet, I made multiple views one above another with visibility set to false, and during the navigation I just change the visibility. 😁
Me: WTF? Man… this isn't something you should be proud of… it shouldn't be done.
Friend: Do you also want to know how I backup the code?
Me: No…
Friend: I send it to myself via email.
Me: FUCK!
Friend: I also never use while loops, I prefer to use for instead with a break inside. 😊
*blocked*

While reading through the Elasticsearch (Java search engine) source code a while ago I found this gem:

return i == -1? -1: i;

I think someone should stop drinking while coding.

Some other nice lines:

int i = 0;
return j + 1000 * i;

Are these guys high?

Me to my friend into coding : Hey! I’m finally learning to code at university!
Friend : Nice! Never Forget array start at 0. Which language are you learning?
Me: Matlab
Friend : I don’t know you

My interviews to hire a Junior Dev will begin this week. Here's how its gonna go down.

Me: Star Trek or Star Wars?

My Supervisor: WTF? How is that relevant?

Human Resources: Let's see what he says.

Applicant: Battlestar Galactica

Me: Nice. I can deal with that.

Me: Tabs or spaces when indenting your code?

Supervisor: ... ?

Human Resources : ...

Applicant: Spaces.

Me: GTFO you imbecile! Next!

I'm so fucking tired of all these "teach kids to code" and "everyone can code" shit.

It's genuinely not for everyone. Some people are not meant to code, so stop trying to force it down everyone's throat because we're going to end up with a lot of people doing it because of a nice job and shit, not because they want to.

I get many of these programs and shit are to expose people to it and all, but fucking hell stop trying to make everyone fucking programmers

When I was at my lowest, my buddy and me sat in front of the screen, and learned how to code from Bucky Roberts. A few years later, I finally got a proper programming gig, but never stopped freelancing. My buddy on the other hand, studied Computer Science and stopped coding for a while after graduating. 5 years later, today we sat in front of the screen and learned how to code together again. I think he has no idea what he has led me to. If he had not made me code, I would have remained the same boy from the streets. But it is not about me, I have heard so many incredible stories. The more codes you write, the more errors you'll encounter. The more errors you try to solve, the bigger the community grows. It's nice to know, there is a group of people out there, who will spend rest of their lives writing, thinking and interacting. Also, trying to figure out how to centre that piece of shit of a div with CSS! I mean wtf!

I fucked up again.

Someone needed a flashdrive for a presentation. Forgot that I keep personal code on on of them for backups (it's always nice when there is no reception to have an offline copy of my code, for instance when we go out into the bush or to remote areas).

I gave them my flashdrive. Forgot it had the code on.

Now someone at head office has taken my program, claimed it as their own - and has just earned themselves a decent amount of money (praised in the monthly company newsletter).

My program has been stolen (by my own stupidity) and butchered. It has been made into something that it was never intended to be.

Fuck that guy.

>me on stackoverflow
>a nice question
>i provide a 3 line code with explanation
>comment: 'doesnt work, throws exception'
>i run the code and provide a screenshot that it works
>'doesnt work for me'
>19 line code gets accepted

10/10, would answer again

Yesterday I said: "My code was nice and well organized but then I started to do the things the customer wanted. Now it's horrible and ugly."

I fucking love refactoring and making me and my groups code cleaner 😍

@dfox Can we have the option to include code blocks in rants and comments? So that they're formatted as monospace text? I mean we can get around it with pictures, but it would be a nice option to include code with an appropriate font. =)

Senior C++ developer:
"Writing a custom encryption algorithm from scratch for our communications platform? Every developer knows that is an absolute no go, cryptography should be left to cryptography veterans!"

Same guy, year later:
"Blockchains? Hold my espresso, I can totally write a whitepaper on cryptography, write some shitty code with nice branding, and get millions from an ICO"

!rant
I'm a developer in germany and of course, everyone in this company has a keyboard with the QWERTZ layout, which ( you all know ) sucks especially when using it do write code.
So i asked my boss, if i can get a keyboard in QWERTY layout, because of the given reasons.
He replied nicely: Yes, I will ask the hardware management.
5 minutes later i got a mail: Here is your harware order, you will get it soon.

It's not much, but that was fast and nice :)

Have a good day everybody.

Having fun in Germany, I'm going to stay here for 3 days.

Everything is nice
except
that

I'll forget e v e r y t h i n g of my code
because
it is
U N D O C U M E N T E D

Wish me luck

On the 18th October 2021 I had to hastily write some magic numbers into our code.
I added a comment saying "TODO: add a damn enum to make this selection clear"

Today, I refactored this module... and I used a damn enum.

Good things happen – have a nice weekend yall

If found a Website with a nice Guestbook. Funny thing: HTML-Code and JavaScript-Code in the message was not getting escaped. So I wrote a little JS-Script wich alerts “Nope“ and the then redirects to pornhub.com after page load.

After about 2 WEEKS of funny redirecting, they updated their site and HTML-Code is now getting escaped.

Warning: contains swearwords!

Do you guy's also have coder-"friend" that:
- Always asks how to do things
- ask for code snippets
- steals your fucking code from Anydesk
- steals your passwords while testing
- steals your code from deobfuscated jar
- steals your jar and deobfuscate it
- steals your database to store stolen passphrases
- tries to convince you to build RATs for your users
- tries to convince you to build RATs for his users
- and so on...

??FOR FUCKING REAL THIS ISN'T EVEN ALL THAT HAPPENED TO ME!

HE IS A FUCKING SUCKER CUNT! HE PROMISED ME MULTIPLE TIMES THAT HE DELETED MY PROJECTS AND TELLS ME HE IS STILL USING THEM TO RESEARCH MY CODE FOR HIS CODE!!!

HE FUCKING RECORDED ME WHILE CODING WITH AN API I AM NOT USED TO WHILE I ASK HIM FREQUENTLY BECAUSE I HAVE NO CLUE AND HE THEN SENDS IT TO HIS FRIENDS TO PISS ME OF AND LAUGH ABOUT ME!!

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE WHY THE FUCK ARE ASSHOLES LIKE HIM NOT IN FUCKING PSYCHIATRY!

AND I CAN'T GET RID OF HIM BECAUSE I AM TOO FUCKING NICE!!

FOR GODS SAKE PLS LET A LIGHTNING STRIKE HIT HIM IN HIS FUCKING FACE!

AT FUCKING LEAST I GOT SENT AN IMAGE OF HIS ADDRESS SO I WILL SHIT IN A FUCKING BOX AND SEND IT TO THAT CUNT!

Not having finished any education, and writing code during interviews.

I have a pretty nice resume with good references, and I think I'm a reasonably good & experienced dev.

But I'm absolutely unable to write code on paper, and really wonder how some devs can just write out algorithms using a pen and reason about it, without trying/failing/playing/fixing in an IDE.

Education I think.

I can transform the theory on a complex Wikipedia page about math/algorithm into code, I can translate a Haskell library into idiomatic python... but what I haven't done is write out sorting functions or fibonacci generators a million times during Java class.

I don't see the point either... but I still feel utterly worthless during an interview if they ask "So you haven't even finished highschool? Can you at least solve this prime number problem using a marker on this whiteboard? Could you explain in words which sorting algorithm is faster and why?"

"Uh... let me fetch a laptop with an IDE, stackoverflow and Wikipedia?"

while we were in the car...

mom: so what are u doing in your new job? you code in java?
me: no, i code in javascript, html, css and php..
mom: so thats java. how nice.
me: no, its javaSCRIPT.
mom: theyre still the same.
me: java and javascript are not the same
mom: but most people use java so why dont u just do it in java?
me: thats what ive been asking myself too in the past few weeks, why did i even accept this job

With latest release of Notepad++ you can now have a nice intellisense for CoffeeScript code!

Added by me! 🤗

Anyone here put Easter eggs in their code, and care to share examples?

I made a custom script to rotate a log file once a day in my program. So at the bottom of the roll I added a nice little print. See attached.

Him: You can code, right?
Me: Of course,why
Him: I want to start promoting my (very crappy) music, I need you to –
Me: No!
Him: But, I just –
Me: I already said No.Never gonna happen.
Him: I get it.You really can't code,you just pretend to.A simple website can't be that hard for you if you knew.
Me:(Pushing him out) Nice try.

No, listen to me. I cannot approve this PR because your code does not comply with our code style. All the imports and annotations must be sorted in ascending order by length. They must all make fir-like blocks of code. Because it looks nice.

Now go and fix your code

I just smiled and walked away to obfuscate my code with firs . I had no idea what to even say to that... I still don't

“Fullstack dev continues to be consistent”

We’d an enhancement request where we needed to support Ionic apps. Our manager didn’t know anything about Ionic so she asks us what it was instead of asking Google.

Manager: so what’s this Ionic thingy?

Me: Ionic issss.... (gets interrupted by Fullstack dev)

Fullstack dev: so the thing is ... it’s like... (consistent with his opening lines as always) it’s a third party plugin which converts react app and html pages to native code.

Me: (thinking of sacrificing him at the altar of Lucifer)

Manager: Nice!

More to come.

Controllers are nice.
Controllers are fun.
But please don't throw all
Of the apps code into one.

Any other front-end developers check out Visual Studio Code? It’s got a lot of really nice features, including the absolute best implementation of Emmet I’ve ever seen. My new favorite editor on both Windows and Mac!

A nice word to all developers who say stuff like "I know I write bad code, but what does it matter.":
Please try to think in a logical way about what this part you are about to write has to do. It is much more difficult to rewrite code, the longer you wait after you started to code.
Bad code can have big impacts on different levels.
For example financially: Bad coding style or program structure can lead to thousands or much more in losses because of nasty bugs, bad performance, expandability or maintainability.
Think about quality over quantity.

A little example: I had to work together with other coders to meet a fucking tight deadline. The last day we coded like crazy and these dudes started to apply styling changes (CSS) directly as inline styles to the HTML code, instead of taking a few minutes more to find where in the CSS files they had to make the changes.
At the end of the deadline we had more stylingbugs than before. It took us another whopping 3 hours to fix what they had done.

So next time you code: Thinking before coding is mostly faster than just straightahead coding and fixing at the end. 😉

Me, going on a vacation
"Fuck yeah, finally a break, beach, grill, nice. Im not bringing my laptop, theres no way im touching any code."

Me, 10 minutes after i got on the bus
"Oh, i figured out whys that one thing not working, let me just get my lapt...shit"

Legacy code.

Honestly though, this is some of the better legacy code I've worked with at this company. It's a nifty alert system wherein you can trigger sending messages to subscribers of that alert via whatever means (phone/email) they've entered.

I'll save you the technical analysis of its internals, but suffice to say it's actually pretty nice, with good separation of concerns, internal logic hidden away, dead-simple public interface, etc. documentation is kinda crap, but it exists (!), so that's a nice change.

but.

For some unknown and bloody bizarre reason, the thing breaks when a user wants both sms AND email notifications. Either by themselves work totally fine, but both together? nonono. Email alerts give ArgumentErrors, so something internal isn't correct, and SMS alerts complain about uninitialized Twilio::Error constants.

but.
they both work fine otherwise?

also, the two notification preferences aren't stored on the same object anywhere. if a user wants both, the user creates two AlertContact objects with different info, and when performed, the Alert basically iterates over these and does its thing for each, so there is no knowledge shared between them. totally should work the same regardless.

idfgi.

ALSO.
AND THIS PART REALLY PISSES ME OFF.

WHEN THERE'S AN ERROR, THIS THING DOESN'T LOG IT. IT STRINGIFIES THE ERROR OBJECT (basically just extracting the message) AND INSERTS THAT INTO THE DATABASE INSTEAD. WHAT THE CRAP.

So, I don't get a stack trace, line number, or anything. just the basic error message. instead of my alert text. because of course that makes sense and totally helps debugging.

aklsjfak;sldfj.
legacy code.

How devrant changes me #1:
I'm a little bit more active on devrant since about a week. Improvement so far:
1. I spent only 20% of the time on Facebook i usually do
2. I really enjoy the nice community
3. I even more enjoy that i notice there are more "dudes like me" :D i mean.. I'm tired of telling my "normal" friends how happy i am because i wrote some awesome code and just get a "eeeh.. Nice." back because they dont understand and often dont even try to understand whats so special for me.
4. Even if my english is still kinda bad, i notice that i get better with every rant i post. I mean.. That post cost me about 3 min. I swear 7 days ago it would have cost me minimum 7 minutes to get this lines down :)

Thanks devrant :)

Sandev. The santa dev.

If you are a nice dev, he makes your code work... If you are a naughty dev, he fills it with bugs.

If you are an immensely naughty dev, he disables all browsers except for an older version of IE, rm -rfs your linux distro, and magically makes android studio eat up more ram than usual.

Niiice, SDL, nice code example

My cat's always with me while coding.
It's nice, he's cute.

Then he decides to wake up, and to walk on my keyboard to go away.

Code looks like hcozpxucksl,,lOs', thanks man.

Not a big deal but I wanted to share my desperation with you, thanks for the listen

At my previous job a coworker left positive comments alongside any negative ones on my code. “Nice job here. Very clean”, or “nice use of X design pattern here!” Kinda made me look forward to his code reviews.

I hate the fucking fakeness at my corporate workplace. Everybody's kissing everybody's ass. What' worse is that individually, they're nice people but the environment changed them and they don't even notice it.
Also they fucking congratulate themselves for their fucking great work but all they did is basically a big crud app. We're all just a bunch of code monkeys. I'm so getting out of there.

I just love refactoring :) that feeling when an agonic 50loc method with ifs, loops, streams, other shit shrinks down to 3 lines with descriptive and SRP-compliant method calls.. When you can actually read code as a nicely written story. When there are no rubbish comments, cryptic variables and no overly complex if-else skyscrapers jamming all the logic in one conditional chain. When all the abstractions are designed so nicely and design patterns applied so perfectly that extending either of the components is as easy as a walk in a park.

When everything is nice and neat. Only then can I sleep well and enjoy the autumn :)

just some random thoughts after today's coding session :)

It's nice wanting to follow the best practice but many Java programmer have the bad habit to overdo it making lasagna code which causes painful headaches to who needs to maintain it afterwards. This is just a little sample of the "paranoia driven development" many does in my company.

Hello community. Joined this a minute ago and already in love with you.

Have a nice code. See u !

@trogus @dfox
Can we have support for
```
snipets
```
Doesn't even need syntax highlight, just the <pre> behavior.
In support of my request, I know this isn't code sharing but we still quote code and commands alot.
It would be a nice differentiation.

Me: So, tell me more about what you want me to code.
Friend: Well... Do something nice.
Me: Like?
Friend: I don't know, I thought you're the expert...
Me: You motherf...

In an interview, when you throw a simple piece of code to a candidate...

Candidate: ...

ME: (maybe I'm too hard on them)

Candidate: ...

ME: (ok, I definitively have to simplify this little pattern example)

Candidate: ...

ME: ...explaining the short piece of code and give'm the answer

Candidate: haaaaa that's what I was thinking but I used that long time ago...

ME: (Yeah... nice try)

Is it just me that is addicted to the feeling when you solved a big problem with the code and everything just works afterwards? Its such a nice feeling!!

The first time you execute your code and there are no errors.
Nice weekend.😎💪

Finally I am home . Time to code something nice ...
*starts PC*
*10 mins later power went down*

Aaaaand my whole world came crumbling down. All I have is a laptop with a battery backup of 15mins, and now the charger broke.

I was almost done with coding a nice feature, just few more lines and I would have been able to push.

But, rather it went dark. And now I can't code, nothing matters, everything is meaningless 😞

Small random update regarding my ISP and how they call your speed if you use all of your data.

I actually sent them a small complaint (more of a suggestion but) that 256 Kbps is just too slow even for a capped penalty speed and that at least 1 Mbps so that the internet is still usable but still slow... And mother fucker if that isn't exactly what they did!

It's nice being able to sync my code and have more than 1 device connected to the wifi at once... It's a strange feeling when a company actually listens to feedback and takes measures on them...

Seeing there are many people (including me) that cant acces the hackathot, I thitk, it would be nice if we as community could hold an unoficial remote hackathon.

My ideas:

-5 days to code
-github / skype
-chess engines which have to compete eachothers to find the winner
-5 teams
-should be compatible with windows, linex, mac (either an interpreted language or different recompiled versions)

Tell me what you think in the comments

A) Create something that works, is fast, minimum bugs, have edge cases covered, nice testes, clean code. Cool, you did your job. END.

B) Create something shitty with bugs, performance issues, non or poor test coverage, mess code, etc. Cool, you did you job. But...

Next week you reduced bugs by 50%. Wow, you're rockstar.

Another week you improved performance by 15%. Again, you're the hero.

2 weeks later, you reached 85% test coverage. Management is so happy that almost got orgasm.

"A" took 3 months, "B" took 3 months plus few months of fixes. The only time where B was winning was first 4 weeks, where A was carefully building it's architecture and quality.

Yet B is seemed more successful.

This industry is F****d Up beyond my understanding.

Code block markdown in devrant? Would be nice 😊

Everytime someone launches a VR headset, people are talking about being able to watch movies in their "personal theater" and I'm here hoping there will be a desktop mirroring or something like a vnc client compatible with the headset so that I can have *infinite* monitors and code more efficiently. I might look stupid swiveling on a chair wearing a headset but hey.. I'll enjoy it!

Imagine.. 32 monitors, a nice piece of noise-cancelling headphones, a swivel chair with keyboard attached ergonomically, backrest bent to near 40degrees..

Be extremely active on GitHub! It’s a nice way to backup your code, as well as show off your skills to potential employers.

Being that none of my family or friends code, it is nice to be here with others who are nerdy. What a great place

Anyone hear about the emergency patch that Microsoft just released? Its a RCE vulnerability CVE-2017-11937 which ironically targets all of Microsoft's security products.

Basically when Windows defender scans a specially crafted file the attacker can run code as the LocalSystem. Nice one Microsoft!

This is my first php code ever written, nice to look back.

I was talking to my friend, and she told me she started learning to code,
I said it's nice, and asked what language she learns,
she said she learns the "usual" language,
I explained to her that just like natural language there is no single "usual" language.
Then she said she learns this language where the text is colorful.

That nice feeling in a cold morning of booting up your code editor / ide of choice and making a brand spanking new prototype project with a language you love. All accompanied by your hot beverage of choice, a warm blanket, and a pet or two.

Reviewing old code. First thought always starts with "What the hell... What did I do here?"
Best case scenario: " oh.. Oh! I wrote this? Nice."
Worst case scenario: "I hope nobody has seen this... Oh God the header has my name..."

Oh yes, today was a fugly nice day.
Fuck you my dear boss.
Your mindless way of taking a dump onto my code, moving my classes (CSS) away and adding new classes to refuck my unfucked fuckery clearly shows how much brain is left in your hollow skull of nothingness.

It took me only 2.5 hours of my precious time to unfuck your refucked fuckery and implement the fix you wanted me to do because you fucked up my code.

Go eat a bag of segfaults and get cast to void* (void pointer).
I am also very thankful having spent the whole day today to fix cross browser fuckups, hacks and #!&$+@.

Normally I really like my boss. He is a cool guy and an innovative and mostly intelligent person.
BUT FUCK HIS CODE.

Every time I look at someone elses code, and try to do it just as nice.

I’ve just received my Potato Pirate game ! Time to teach my matey how to code ! And the nice Kickstarter gift is perfect for my screen at work ;)

C is nice and all but have you ever had to massacre your code with preprocessor instructions to make your code portable?

Look honey! I optimized the code in such a way only a few lines are needed, I'm so happy with this efficiency. Her reply: "Ooooh, that's nice!! <blankstare>". Yeah, uh, we'll talk later.

So this is what happened!
It was a rainy Friday, I was asked to add a quick bug fix to a js application, I spent my Friday coding, testing ..., baam the patch is ready ... I wrote a nice commit message explains the problem and the fix but I didn't push the code.

On Monday the fuckin code disappeared, no commit no code no nothing no trace ... To be honest I don't know what happened. I rewrote everything on that Money morning (you can only imagine how pest I was)

I use vim with tmux.
I have done everything I could to figure out what happened to that commit, I even doubted If had did wrote the fix that Friday, but it's not possible to forget few hours of a day
I checked my commit history on the different branches i did everything

No trace ...
Conclusion
My machine is hunted ...
Or I have multiple personalities and one of them is a programmer and he is fucking with me

Been a really sad day today. Learnt this morning that my friend had died. Couldn't concentrate on anything but managed to give a nice report to boss on video call. Tried coding, but could only code a dropbox before giving up and firing up PES. Was so absent-minded the AI kept hammering me. Closed the damn thing and tries coding again but realized the combo box was that would get done today. Fucking sucks when you lose a friend. Even harder to take that he died after falling of a rooftop. Fucking suck!!

me, learning java right now...

long time ago....
Feature request: We want an android backup solution in Our app!
UI guy has already developed it, you just need to see if his solution is solid!
Ok then - lets look at the UI: Nice progress bars, that turn into green checkmarks. Looks good.
Now lets look at the code: ... Ok. loading some files into memory.... and... dafuq? does not write to a file?

Backup to RAM. With no restore. 🤦‍♂️.

I worked about two years on a browser game without using any version control. I also thought it would be nice to have absolutely no comments in the code.

ssh your.server.ip, welcome message:

#Ooops! your files have been encrypted.
#Don't waste your time trying to decrypt them.
#Nobody can.

#We would gladly offer you a way of recovering all
#your files safely, but sadly we lost the decryption
#password.

#Hackers too are not perfect, have a nice day.
#PS. you can still send money to support us if you want at this
#web page: fuckyou.onion.
#Your personal key: m0r0nm0t3fukk3r

(I'll code this one day and install it on somebody machine, it's one of my top dreams)

Nooooo !
I fucked up !
Please tell me what is going to happen if a pentester fucks up ?

I was just curious about the codes the developer was typing remotely while they were containing important datas :/
Fuck me ! I thought it would be nice if i take some pictures of that amazing code so the other employees misunderstood !!
They think I was stealing data ! 😭

What should I do ?
What can I tell them ?

Facebook: Ok, so we have this really cool idea for native Android and iOS app with React
Devs: Nice!
Facebook: Its gonna take away the need to work with native code!
Devs: Great!

*Reality comes in*
Reality: To make anything work you need to modify native code and use more hacks than there are useless npm packages

First day of vacation after 5 months of overtime... aaaaand I'm stuck in bed with a back issue.
Can't even code all the things I had in mind. Nice holidays incoming yay...
At least I have devrant.

I used to work IT in an entertainment startup, and now I’m an iOS dev at a big entertainment company. Several people from my old company have been reaching out to eagerly tell me about their new app idea I just have to hear, asking me to help code their app— and have even hinted at me quitting my nice safe job to join their great new startup that doesn’t even exist yet.

I know this must happen to app devs all the time. What do you say?

How do you deal with telling these nice people who just don’t understand it doesn’t work that way, without crushing their dream? I have a coffee meeting planned to tell one of them “You should learn to code so you can make a proof of concept,” but I fear that won’t be received well.

What’s the standard protocol for telling people you won’t be able to code their magic app idea?

it is really frustrating not to be able to actually maintain and improve the code you're working with. i'd be happy to completely dig in and live in the code and get it all - not so much fucked up - , or, totally spitballing here, do some research on how we could improve the functionality and performance in general (which is not "nice to have", but rather ongoing customer pain points), but I'm not allowed to, because management hates having maintainable code or even an adequate number of devs. it rather has me doing hippity hoppity between different projects to make sure nothing gets my full attention. -.-

the only thing i can do is to clean it up a bit during bug fixes, but even heavy polishing won't fix this giant pile of garbage that is called our code base.

Question time:

Has anyone used PHP unit with Selenium before?

I have a.. well words can’t explain it nice enough but, beyond a joke, not even funny, spaghetti code base I’ve come to inherit recently, which god help me, doesn’t follow any design patterns at all, it’s just a stamp this here, staple this down over here and throw paint at the wall and hope it sticks.

It’s a mixture of procedural and functional with the rare class kind of mess.

So attempting to refactor by any means is not a real possibility without some kind of behavioural testing in place first otherwise I know I’m going to end up breaking something somewhere and not even know it.

Also if anyone has had the privilege of such code bases, tips to dealing with the mess are appreciated.

Oh and no, I can’t rm -rf or start again.😭

My best code review experience?

Company hired a new department manager and one of his duties was to get familiar with the code base, so he started rounds of code reviews.
We had our own coding standards (naming, indentation, etc..etc) and for the most part, all of our code would pass those standards 100%.

One review of my code was particularly brutal. I though it was perfect. In-line documentation, indentation, followed naming standards..everything. 'Tom' kept wanting to know the 'Why?'

Tom: 'This method where it validates the amount must be under 30. Why 30? Why is it hard-coded and not a parameter?'
<skip what it seemed like 50 more 'Why...?' questions>
Me: "I don't remember. I wrote that 2 years ago."
Tom: "I don't care if you wrote it yesterday. I have pages of code I want you to verify the values and answer 'Why?' to all of them. Look at this one..."

'Tom' was a bit of a hard-ass, but wow, did I learn A LOT. Coding standards are nice, but he explained understanding the 'What' is what we are paid for. Coders can do the "What" in their sleep. Good developers can read and understand code regardless of a coding standard and the mediocre developers use standards as a crutch (or worse, used as a weapon against others). Great developers understand the 'Why?'.

Now I ask 'Why?' a lot. Gotten my fair share of "I'm gonna punch you in the face" looks during a code review, but being able to answer the 'Why?' solidifies the team with the goals of the project.

Am I the only one? Have a nice desk but prefer to code in my sofa all night loooong..

Junior dev: Can I run lint on your codebase
Senior dev: hmmm
Jdev: Its a very nice code inspection tool
Sdev: Go ahead
Jdev: wow 50 errors
Sdev:

Just noticed my boss turned a nice and beautiful polymorphic code into a fucking hard to maintain switch case that now this mother fucker here has to maintain just because he probably thought it was too hard to understand.

I bet he finds it hard to fuck his wife in any way other than the one she needs to wear a strap on and tear his ass apart...

My coworker "fixed" a bug. Then an issue was reported to me. He refactored something that we both used(And my code was already working right). I asked him about it. He didn't care about it and also was upset about my question. A question that I didn't ask in a "rude" way.. The worst: the refactor only required 30 seconds to do!!!

What!!!

Please guys if you refactor do it right or don't do it at all. Have a nice day

I just finished upgrading a dotnet core 2.2 WebApi + Console App to dotnet core 3.1 and it was a very smooth process with very minor changes to my code.

Not a rant, just posting because it is the first nice thing that has happened for me in a while now.

Boss only likes stuff he can see and that looks pretty. Doesn't understand code, servers, containers, DBs, etc. Praise is attributed by something looking nice in the frontend, whether or not it does crazy stuff behind the scenes.

Spent a week working on a project whilst boss was away. Got to about Thursday and thought, oh poop, I've built all this API stuff, but not much frontend. So I panic built frontend screens with no functionality just so I had something to show.

Wish I had another dev to share backend progress with (and code review)...

Learning and practicing.

Are there many people out there like me who don't subscribe to the whole "software to help you write software" malarkey? Resharper being a big one where I work!

Just give me a nice lean code editor.

What kind of drugs can possibly compel someone to write a 7000 line source file?? Seven thousand lines of code. In a single file! When everything else in the project is nice and modular... 🤮

!rant

@dfox
Many people use snippets of code in their Rants, so it's maybe a nice feature to be able to add codeblocks to rants..

So I'm not sure I understand this question fully, if it is meant only through code, than I guess none or those people I got to know while I was doing my algorithms and data structures project last semester where we were helping each other with our code
If it's meant generally through code related activities then I gained lots of friends in uni in classes and here on devRant of course and actually yesterday I got to talk unexpectedly about coding and programming languages on an event with a guy who actually studied financial maths in Vienna but now works as a tester and works with databases, that was nice

So just installed the new vs code user setup thing and oh my god!

Finally a custom title bar that actually looks good on windows instead of a nice dark application with a blinding white titlebar :-D

In C# you can open as many scopes wherever you want at whatever time you please. Nested within themselves, doesn't matter.

Use this to fuck with the other developers on your team. Fence off their evil code behind a thousand curly braces!

Or maybe jazz up your indentation, give the code a nice and bouncy flow!

I'm just a student, but I always feel like a badass when the class treats me like almost like a teacher when it comes to programming.

Our actual programming teacher is new, so she doesn't always teach well (don't get me wrong, she's nice and I do know my place as a student) so my classmates usually approaches me when they need clarification or they got an error on their code. Makes me feel useful :D

Help, I don't know if I want to code as a job for the rest of my life.
I feel that I miss physical activity in my job. Its just sitting and programming.
I like programming, it's an infinite series of puzzles, and I like puzzles. But more physical would be nice.

Maybe I should find a 2nd job that is more physical and balance the two.

What is everyone's thoughts on this?

!Rant

Now that's how I like my operating systems!

Found these earlier on when shopping and was too cowardly to take a picture in the shop and leave them there, so I bought them. They taste nice too.

Like most women, my wife has a sweet tooth and I've told her that these are special biscuits for developers and she can't have any unless she can code.

She's now doing a quick JS console log of 'hello world' in Chrome whilst I make the tea!

Buy a nice, clicky mechanical keyboard. The sound of Cherry MX blue makes me want to write code just for the pleasure of hearing and feeling my keyboard 😂

Before devRant:

* Sit back and enjoy the night watching series/movies*
* Chills in the weekends*
- It's nice to code at work
😊

After devRant:

*anxiety building up*
*start sweating*
Should I code all time?
(0_0')
When I get home I'll start a project

!rant

Goodbye Java I will not miss you at all! I swear ...

I do like it when making web services (especially that I can use Java8) but for Android you have been a torture. Hello sweet Kotlin! I shall embrace you and treat you like my newly born baby!!

Story is:
Working on a new project where I need to talk to a web service (also made by me).
Started writing in Java, all is cool and unit tests pass.
Downloaded Android Studio 3 Beta 1 and converted my Java code to Kotlin, That AsyncTask did not look nice in kotlin, converted it to async & await feature and I must admit lots of code removed, no more need to create a new fucking AsyncTask every time the app sneezes for data!

I feel like I'm working with C# but with difference in syntax.
My life is now complete :)

Start-up I'm working for as a front-end dev is pretty nice. I have good hardware, free coffee and my coworkers are all decent people. My boss is chill, and I have flexible work hours.

There is this one policy for writing code, however. And I simply cannot understand it, nor can I ignore it because of code reviews: no comments in production code.

I mean, what? Why? Comments are nice, and they make life easier for the future maintainers. At least let me put a small two-liner explaining why I did stuff this or that way. But no, I only get to explain it verbally (once) to the person reviewing my PR. Why, man?

I am currently a high school student. I am currently working in an internship for a local company. Super nice mentors and owner.

Anyhow, I was working on turning sensors data into JSON files which would be later sent to a server through HTML GET requests. I struggled with this for several days. The server received the data but displayed them as 'null'. Mentor came in to help. He changed 'println' to 'print' in the code where the JSON data are compiled. Then the thing works.

Witchcraft, I tell thee.

PS. First post

My worst legacy code experience was when I worked as a freelancer and got a tiny job to improve a VBA module in some Excel file for a very big company. So what's worse than VBA? Having to change parts of VBA code that was passed around to other freelancers before like the cheapest dockside whore. After meddling in there for about half an hour I felt like all those cheap ass punter, so I decided to write the whole thing from scratch. What a relief, after 3 hours I was very proud of the thing and it looked clean and well maintained again so I let it back on the streets. 😉
To the coder who comes after me: Please treat her (the code) nice or I will burry you alive in dog poop and burn the whole thing!

Travels to another state, about 6 hours of journey. After finally reaching the office, had to wait another hour for my turn. The interview starts
Q: How long have you been programming?
A: for nearly 2 years, I mainly code in python.
Q: Nice! (Puts a piece of paper infront) explain how the shortest distance between 2 cities is calculated by Google maps using graph theory..
I go blank and stay silent for an awfully long amount of time. Gets rejected.
After coming outside, I ask myself... Why the fuck does a normal tech company need written algorithms on graph theory used by Google maps?

Only me who is actually happy when coworkers finish a nice piece of code? I feel like too many only thinks of competition :(

So, I got this new coworker of mine, he's 5 years older than me and says he's got a loooot of experience with html, css und javascript. Nice. Boss wants us to blur some text on a website, I show him how to do it with css "filter: blur(4px)".

5 minutes later he's all proud and says "done". I think nice, check the code - and see this moron having put an <img> png in there, having blurred the text with photoshop. Short memory, anyone?

Have a nice weekend programmer's!!!!!

I hope your code behaves on Monday the same way it did on Friday.....🤣😂🤣

Tell people you know how to code - they always have nice ideas for "new and innovative" apps and want you to code for them ;D

My Unix class
👨‍💻using nice looking theme for vs code to edit my bash script

Prof: That's a nice looking theme( he thought it was vim theme)
Me: um.. um.. It's vs code, new guy in a town
Prof: uh! 🤔
Me: ( 5 sec silence) um, It's from Microsoft
Prof: GET OUT!

I once inherited a project that had been outsourced for more than 6 months to a company at the other end of the world. Although the PM had almost daily contact with the developer, the project wasn't technically followed up.

I had already recommended code reviews 3 months before I inherited the project. But of course these had never happened.

The project contained all the nice-to-have features, but the core wasn't working. Loading the home page (with 20 records from a DB) took 15 minutes.

We then had roughly a month the get the project straight.

So last Tuesday, I started two pull requests, with one branch that should be in production in few time, and warned the validators that they can check the code and validate or add comments. I was in weekend in the Tuesday evening, going to Paris in the weekend.

I come back today, and the pull requests haven't even been checked. Nice.

aahh, that's a nice feeling!

Half a year ago I was borrowed to a client's team as a pair of helping hands on one project. Today I pulled that project source again to see what has changed.

The only things changed in my code are typos in strings (missing space, missing letter, etc.). Not a single error in actual code.

Maybe >90% TDD tests coverage has smth to do with it ;)

aahhh, that's a nice feeling :)

My girlfriend send me this. Slowly, I've started to influence her and she enjoys code jokes...

Why so many recent questions about which code editor to use?

P.S. Nice to see vscode getting some recognition.

Spending Saturday from 9-18 trying to learn Angular. Following along with the lecturer but the code won't work when I serve with my unworthy fingers...??? Oh, but now it turns out the instructor's code isn't running either..! Nice to know that everyone turns to StackOverflow in their darkest hour. 😋

It's kinda nice to have a long weekend for a change to work on my endless list of unfinished side projects and code what I want to code, and not having to use fucking Windows 11 on a slow-ass work laptop.

Once had a teammate who added
// @formatter:off (eclipse)

at the beginning of nearly each class, to make sure my auto-format on save does not ruin his nice formatting

as i usually let eclipse take care of this, i commited unformatted code by mistake

so he formatted my code by hand

(PSA: serious replies to this kind of wk tag might be best suited under Random)

"The way you've done this seems much less complicated that what I would've come up with."

"You've been reading Clean Code?"

"I didn't think that was possible, nice."

And finally, the most extreme one:

"Can you print this code for me so I can hang it on my wall of good code?"

I used to think I was the kind of programmer that was good with people. That somehow I was special because I could get on with colleagues and make clients happy.

But fuck people. It’s so easy to be nice, just don’t be not nice. Don’t say rude things and be surprised when I’ve had enough.

For some reason my latest colleagues think it’s too confrontational to talk to each other and instead give management anonymous feedback on who they don’t get on with. Which obviously gets fed back to everyone immediately.

I’m done putting on a smile. Elegant code speaks for itself. I’m getting a PA to talk to people from now on because fuck this.

I don't have anything to say about getting a dev job in some company. But I can give some tips on attracting clients for your freelance work.

* Have a few projects of your own hosted on Github to show off your quality code.

* Contribute to others' open source projects if possible.

* Get yourself a nice website and showcase all your work.

* Ask your current clients to write testimonials on your work and post it in your website.

* Be nice to your clients. Chances are they'll refer you to their friends and family.

That's pretty much all I've done and I get more freelance dev requests than I could take.

I’m not sure if I like my software development teacher using my code for examples to show the other students. Sometimes I get the “oh that’s nice” and other times I get the death stare”🤔

I sometimes cry a lil bit when I see php sql code without pdo. Specially when someone mentions a cool example online or a tutorial or whatever. Guys please, get good with sql as well as pdo....please pretty please with cherries on top. While we are at it, it might not be the solution to aaaall problems....but mvc can do wonders for you, it really can. That pattern has been on for a while...learn it and use it well. Also, restful apis are good mmkay? They fit nice with the glory of Node.js and its amazing front end powers and utilities mmmmmmkay?

In my first place there was a guy, we'll call him S.
So S. was not very popular, he had an intimidating look all the time, wore workout dryfit clothes and seldomly smelt like he didn't take a shower in quite a long time. He has an iOS developer on my team. He was blazingly smart and called every code he saw garbage. Nice guy indeed :)

He was a fine guy after you got to know him and get accustomed to his weirdness... Smelly nonetheless :)

FUCKING HATE VUE 3

It's pointless, it's not an incremented version of Vue 2, it's basically a completely different framework, probably one nice to start a project with... But migrating from an existing Vue 2 project to Vue 3...

What the hell were they thinking!

first, setup() with all the logic and functions in it DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE to me!
second, your old DEPENDENCIES NO LONGER WORK!.. good luck finding replacements for EVERYTHING, and do the necessary adjustments to work with the LASAGNA CODE YOUR PROJECT HAS BECOME!!

PS: the update/upgrade PR has almost 300 changed files!!!!

>>Struck on a stupid concept with very little documentation.
>>Searched for days, finally frustrated and fucked up.
>>Started searching for libraries,found a decent one with good documentation and even a sample usecase.
>> library handles my application completely fine, me happy and motivated again :D
>>opened the library's source code, that was again very nice and simple.
>>Now learnt the concept and implementing it in my app natively . Even opened some issues in the creator's library
>>thank you github :)

I've heard a lot of nice things about python so today I decided to check it out and HOLY CRAP this is an amazing language! Really makes me wonder why I didn't look into this sooner!

Seriously though! I looked at the documentation and official tutorials for like 30 minutes before writing a selection sort algorithm using only six lines of code. I'm quite mind blown.

!rant
You know you code too much when you try to press control+space in word... would actually be a nice feature

!rant && 'suggestion'

What if we write cook book in pseudo code (or official development languages) instead of plain english so dumb fuck that can't follow a simple instruction like me could actually make something nice?

def mayonnaise:
mayonnaise = random.shuffle(['yolk', 'salt', 'pepper', 'mustard', 'vinegar'])

while(mayonnaise not "thick"):
mayonnaise.whip()
mayonnaise.append('olive oil')

mayonnaise.append('seasoning' || 'lemon juice')

So, today I wanted to program a bit and, after reading the last chapter, I want to see what I able to do.
I run my last Linux distro, I open sublime and I start typing code. I finish, I build. 0 warning, 0 errors. Nice! I execute the code: error.
I watch and I struggle on the code for hours, I search on Google, I search on StackOverflow, but after 1 hour I notice I'm looking for a needle in a haystack. So I search instead for a way to produce a better error. I found it, I'm very happy. Let's try what the error actually is:
Error: success
Ok....
Ok...... Well, maybe.... Uhm......
Ok, I won't give up. I search for a tutorial. Found.
The code is almost the mine, it's actually a usual snippet, nothing new. I compare my code with the code in the example/tutorial.
First line, is the same.
First 10 lines, are the same.
First 30 lines, are the same.
I build and execute the example: it works.
I build and execute my code: still doesn't work.

I won't give up, I said it. I won't give up.

I wonder if there's a tool like git diff, so I can see what the differences are, maybe I've no good eyes.
I search, first Google result, "diff"
diff myCode.c example.c
"the files are not identical"

...thank you
I search for a better command
diff -y myCode.c example.c
"the files are not identical"

I search for a still better command
Found. StackOverflow stroke again.
sdiff myCode.c example.c
"the files are not identical"

.....
....

.....

I gave up.

Ps. I've 10 years of experience in programming

You wrote a little simple and clean mvc framework to work faster on some new projects. It can "compile" tags as {% var %} or {% array.key %} in the html code with support of {% for arrayOfHash in hash %} foreach construct and nice features, it can call api's callback in a smart way as ghost methods of a class, he can make routes with the route provider. You tested it and made a little example, after you went in the bathroom you read the index code and you started staring at the beauty and elegance of it. You go to bed happy and sleep. The day after you wake up and realize that it's unuseful because there's a lot of mvc framework that surely are better and ready to use, so you lost useful time. Have you ever feel this way? MVC: Me Versus Creativity.

Oh ffs, just fucking inject a chip into my finger already for authentication purposes, you can track my every fucking move if you so wish. When a web page like twitch uses 2FA it boggles my mind because its a page where you're watching some fucking videos.

"hey there, so out of the blue, we send you a code to your email, we won't tell you which so good luck. Also, you cannot copy paste this code because we did that fucking thing where each character has its own textbox"

Of course, this is only because we are dumb enough to reuse shitty passwords. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.

Just compleeeetteellyy messed up a technical interview.. stupid theory.. I can apply all that stuff but when I get asked to explain then . Well.. I messed up.

And the coding part, I had the right approach but had one big brainfart in it making the whole thing useless (pseudo code so couldnt test it). I realized just after the interview was finished..

I hate the feeling of failure.
Was a really nice position which is why I applied. Ah well, tonight is whiskey night I guess.

I had my presentation early morning, it was 3am, and I was still up because the code was not compiling. Then showed up my roommate who had gone for party. Can't believe that he was the one, in the half drunk state, was able to find just a short typo,but not ME, EVEN THOUGH I HAD 3 CUPS OF COFFEE the same night. Lesson learned. Patience is a virtue. Blessed to have a nice roommate. :)
PS. It was a Matlab code for filtering the mentioned portion of an ECG Signal, and analysing the problem faced by the patient. Well, I was pretty sure to get arrhythmia if I couldn't complete the code by morning.

It's nice reading other people's code. Make you realize that your not too shabby quality wise!

I'm using framework X, I managed to google and fix the bug in a few seconds, nice!

I'm using framework X with library Y, I managed to google and fix the bug in a few minutes, nice!

I'm using framework X with library Y and Z that adds certain features, I managed to google and fix the bug in a few hours, I need a bathroom break and coffee but great!

I'm using framework X, runtime environment version 3, library X and Z and am trying to achieve T because god knows why and managed to only find 2 old stackoverflow topics and 1 reddit post almost completely unrelated but I tried their code anyway and I feel so miserable I'm behind schedule and can't seem to be able to fix this stupid issue what am I doing with my life oh please...

We code hard in these cubicles

My style’s nerd-chic, I’m a programmin’ freak

We code hard in these cubicles

Only two hours to your deadline?

Don’t sweat my technique.

Sippin’ morning coffee with that JAVA swirl.

Born to code; my first words were “Hello World”

Since 95, been JAVA codin’ stayin’ proud

Started on floppy disks, now we take it to the cloud.

On my desktop, JAVA’s what’s bobbin’ and weavin’

We got another winning app before I get to OddEven.

Blazin’ code like a forest fire, climbin’ a tree

Setting standards like I Triple E….
Boot it on up, I use the force like Luke,

Got so much love for my homeboy Duke.

GNU Public Licensed, it’s open source,

Stop by my desk when you need a crash course

Written once and my script runs anywhere,

Straight thuggin’, mean muggin’ in my Aeron chair.

All the best lines of code, you know I wrote ‘em

I’ll run you out of town on your dial-up modem.

Cause…
We code hard in these cubicles

Me and my crew code hyphy hardcore

We code hard in these cubicles

It’s been more than 10 years since I’ve seen the 404.

Inheriting a project can make me go beeee-serk

Ain’t got four hours to transfer their Framework.

The cleaners killed the lights, Man, that ain’t nice,

Gonna knock this program out, just like Kimbo Slice

I program all night, just like a champ,

Look alive under this IKEA lamp.

I code HARDER in the midnight hour,

E7 on the vending machine fuels my power.

Ps3 to Smartphones, our code use never ends,

JAVA’s there when I beat you in “Words with Friends”.

My developing skills are so fresh please discuss,

You better step your game up on that C++.

We know better than to use Dot N-E-T,

Even Dan Brown can’t code as hard as me.

You know JAVA’s gettin’ bigger, that’s a promise not a threat,

Let me code it on your brain

We code hard in these cubicles,

it’s the core component…of what we implement.

We code hard in these cubicles,
Straight to your JAVA Runtime Environment.

We code hard in these cubicles,
Keep the syntax light and the algorithm tight.

We code hard in these cubicles,

Gotta use JAVA if it’s gonna run right.

We code hard in these cubicles

JAVA keeps adapting, you know it’s built to last.

We code hard in these cubicles,

Robust and secure, so our swag’s on blast

CODE HARD

Old Boss from my year internship before I started my apprenticeship:
"It would be nice if you could maintain your written software even if you arent working here anymore"
Me: "Yeah. I'll try my best"
Boss: "Cool"
Me: "We Can use git, so I Can manage my Code better and you Can easily track everything"
Boss: "Ehh what? Don't understand"
Me:" .. Ok. We will use GitHub, so you Can See and create issues, I will maintain Code and so on"
Boss: "Yeah, graphical Interface Sounds good. .. Make it private. Here is my Account. Invite me please"
Me: "Invited you. You should Receive an email. Alternatevly you Can follow These steps *writes Long text, and describe How to use GitHub*
Boss: "*a week later* How Can I Log in into GitHub?"
Me: "..."

I envy all those developers with clean codebases and consistent coding standards and nice architecture.

I'm fixing bugs and optimize code in someone else written project. which looks like spaghetti. with naming conventions like "a", "bbb", "zA" comments written in unknown language and off course the deadline was yesterday.

Couldn't save a file because it showed me that this file is opened somewhere else. So I go to the resource monitor to check for its handlers, but only explorer.exe showed in list. I restart explorer and get back to the code. For the first time..... for the first time in my life I hoped that this won't work. I press Ctrl+S, andddd, file was saved.

So, basically, windows's explorer can lock files. Nice job Microsoft. Nice job.

Some birds told me Galaxy S9 is really good.
Googled it, and found something more interesting.
PS: this is the 3rd largest mobile server provider in NZ
Use development code in production.
Distructed certificate.
Nice work guys!

Someone gave me his code and told me to improve it and being the nice guy I am I agreed. Then while trying to work on that, a dozen other people asked me to help them with their code too, so in the end I barely got any work done.

I should stop helping people

I absolutely love the work put into Visual Studio Code.
It is a great editor, which evolves quickly and has a nice community.

Was using vim for literally everything and switched at some point to VS code and love using it since

Let me tell all of you who don't like big frameworks..
The nice thing about them is that they minimize the amount of SHIT CODE all of you who think you know how to code, but actually don't, write..
And minimizes the amount of headache for the devs who need to then maintain/fix/change your SHIT CODE.

yes...lets put routes 10 dirs deep into the project and let ppl look for it..

In case the kiddos ask if you can hack Facebook or whatever, here's a nice little JS code. Copy paste it into the URL, hit enter and select + edit whatever you like!

javascript: document.body.contentEditable = 'true'; document.designMode = 'on'; void 0

ps: in chrome the 'javascript:' at the beginning gets removed so you'll have to manually add it. not sure about other browsers

In a helper for a testing environment there was a flag called CheckLayoutConf. The documentation stated: if set checks if the layout configuration is valid and fixes it. I was curious about the validation and fixing mechanisms, so I looked into the code. But if the flag is set, then the layout configuration is just deleted, so in the next start of the program a new default layout configuration is created. Nice "validation" and "fixing" you for there, I thought to myself.

stupid frameworks and all your stupid nice looking code but overload of necessity I am actually debating on going off of the grid or at least ditching frameworks and just throwing shit at the wall and squeezing my knee

ML Dude: “Hey see what I did with this python code. It is so clean and dope”
Business Boss: “Well Done.”
ML Dude: “It is a nice approach don’t you think.”
Business Boss: “How does this put a money in my business account?”
ML Dude: “Ehmmmm”

One of the things that I like the most regarding Clojure(and most Lisps to be honest) is how "not for beginners" the ecosystem feels.
Don't get me wrong, setting up a project in lein with dependencies(both internal and external) is a cakewalk, installing lein or boot is a cakewalk. Setting environment consts and middleware etc etc is a cakewalk.
Its just that there are no blogs about convoluted and amateurish ways of doing things. Most presentations and articles are written by really experienced and talented individuals.

I dunno, its just a nice shift in community. Its nice to see people not fucking up Object Oriented programming in java or any of the other oop languages. Its nice not seeing people giving horrible advice regarding memory management in C or c++ and it is sure as shit nice to not see spaghetti php und js code.

And my productivity levels are off the charts man. Really liking this shit and I get to stay inside my JVM

Got rejected from a really nice opportunity today. Irrelevant experience as it seems to the company.

As it turns out I'm an unlucky beginner in the industry who's stuck with a wrong, legacy code project. Doesn't mean I don't know anything and I can't learn new stuff. They were not judging capabilities, just judging people by the project they're working on in their current firm.

When you look into the code of old developers with nice comments such as "What a fucking retard he is trying to book in the past". Just laught .

Feature request: Being able to copy text from rants/comments on mobile. Also some sort of code formatting would be nice!

Still not sure about this new guy, not trying to be rude but everytime we're talking about code he says shit that makes me wonder how he got hired. (btw he is hanging with the IT department all the time) He's a very nice guy, but talks massive shit when it comes to bugs/new features/etc.

Should I have a look at his pc to see what he's doing when in office or is it none of my business. Help me out here, I'm really curious but don't care if he's a fake at the same time lol.

It has been a while since my last tale. I think it was about me starting a bootcamp...

Well, a lot of things happen since that:
• I did the bootcamp: three months of code-sleep-code, but now I know a bunch of new stuff.
• I gained my passion/love for develop again.
• Made new friends.
• IDK how became the CTO of a startup (which failed, shame, but I did learn a lot of new stuff again. Plus it wont failed because of the tech side (damn business not doing his business part...)) for about 6 months.
• And next week I will start at a new job (yaaay, income again!): they give me a nice 2k laptop, work from home if I want, nice salary...

So, I think I am ok.

PD: Sry if something I write is wrong, english is not my native language.

So I have this PO who is able to understand technicalities. He is also able to use postman and has access to our code - don't ask why. He is trying stuff out with our apis, looking through code to understand parts of the software, etc.
So there are two sides of having a PO who is able to understand us devs on a certain level:
On the one hand you can explain why story x is taking longer than expected. You can even discuss in a proper way, which is nice. On the other hand is he a bit over the top: when we plan stories he already analysed everything, put code into the story and is telling us how to solve an issue or implement a story.
The sad part is that none of my colleagues seem to be bothered by the fact that he is doing my work.
And recently i even heard a sentence like: "I do not understand why this story should have 3Sp. Would be way lower when I do it". Well.. then do it yourself freaking idiot.
That goes so far that he tells other teams how to fix their code when there is an issue, because he has access to the code and can (unfortunately) read it..

Very unpleasant. :/ So: do you guys have/had the same issues? Am I overreacting?

Stakeholders must learn that code quality and a user-friendly frontend are not "nice to have". If they don't fix their priorities accordingly, someone will have to pay their technical debt and that's going to be expensive.

For fuck sake why would you put in documentation some functionalities you did not even develop ?! How am I supposed to guess that my error comes from your code when event the fucking DOCSTRING of the method says the use case is handled ?
It's nice to have documentation and commented code, but could you please make it FUCKING coherent with what the code actually does ? I feel like I'm playing fucking riddles here !!

FredBoat, largest open source discord bot.
Making all the things work + making it scale when demand kept climbing was a challenge where we had to learn simple stuff like postgres, working with 3rd party apis, generally good coding patterns and maintainable code, but also rather advanced stuff like making the garbage collector play nice, profiling memory leaks and optimizing the hot path, as well as high level topics like cutting the codebase into scalable domains and services.

Me and my mates rent a flat near the beach to work together on some code. We usually live in Saigon Vietnam which is a very nusy and polluted city. So beach is nice.

However，we went from office houra to full on， waking up and having breakfast at 5pm some days and others ant 2Am....

Right now i love on 12 hour day cycles.

Anyyyways. I also learnt to code this year.

So right now i was dreaming... And i did not dreami was coding， but my dream seemed to be organized like a code. For a split second，my mind was between the two worlds.... I actually thought to myself that i was surely a robot!!!

Suggestion for a cheap, leightweight Laptop?
As I want to code outside, the screen should be bright, SD Card Slot would also be nice.
I actually wanted to buy a MacBook, but the prices are...

I'm diving back into c++ for a nice opportunity (if that happens) but Jeez I straight up suck balls with exercises... It's depressing, like I can't even solve a very simple problem, I can code from memory pretty much all I learned so far, but when I comes to applying it to a real problem, I become super dumb and don't know what I'm doing anymore...
I've set myself a goal tho, I'll keep doing minimum 5 exercises / days and I have to finish atleast 3 without looking at the solution to understand
I hope this will make me a little bit more interview ready if that day ever comes..

Finding old code is always !nice

Fuck forced coding conventions in uni, especially if they are as stupid as Google's Java Conventions. They are a disgrace to nice code but we will have to use them going forward

Stupid spaces everywhere. Else on the same line, wtaf. And don't even get me started on indentation with fucking spaces. Tabs are superior in every single way fite me irl

Be nice, they said.
StackOverflow should be more welcoming, they said.
C00lHoker99 is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct, they said.
Oh, for fucks sake...
Nobody is going to be nice to drunk hobo that shits in the middle of the library.
Duplicate, no MCVE, bluntly offtopic and "do my job plz asap" questions doesn't deserve any niceness from community.
If you feel like SO isn't welcoming, that's certainly your fault.
And what now? Instead of answering good questions and being **nice to nice fellows** we are swimming in Pacific Crapocean. Nnnnnniiiiiicccceeee

Boss assigned code cleanup to me. We put up eslint and fixed a couple of issues, all nice and cute. Now, he wants me to find any redundant code and remove it (redundant fields in config objects). Sounds doable right?

WRONG!

Because we're writing fucking ExtJS. This abomination that is still called a "web framework" in lieu of its former glory supports no typescript, no code intel, no JSDoc, no nothing. Absolutely heinous and deplorable. Add insult to injury, our code on it is even worse. NO single component reused except from a couple REALLY fucking badly written ones, because every component queries for shit outside its jurisdiction so it's all a dependency spaghetti. Everything else is just copy-paste. Barely anything works as intended anymore in this bloody joke of an app.

I tell him in a meeting, I can prepare an automated solution. Some script or something that runs on a file watcher. All nice and dandy. A weekend and a Monday later, I get tired and do something else to clear up my mind. Show him some progress in that other thing. He's like:

Boss: that's good and all but did you remove *insert misused config that got everywhere during copy paste* like I told you to?

Me: I'm still working on it. I switched cause I got tired a bit with the automation.

Boss: automation?

Me: We were talking about in the meeting. *Explains again*

Boss: That's not what we agreed upon

Mfw I've been rambling uselessly on the meeting about it just for you to put me down and make me remove all that copy pasted GUNK from the melting hot garbage that is our codebase BY HAND? All the 150 occurrences of it? What do you think I am, a fucking robot?

When I started this job 4 months ago, I was given a grace period of a week to "get into the groove of the code". I asked the lead dev where on pulse (intranet) the documentation was, he laughed and then resumed what he was doing. I shrugged it off and continued scrolling through the code.
A week later, working on a story, I'm stuck at why a particular function exists. I say "it would be nice if there was documentation, where is that anyway?". Lead dev replies, "one thing you should know about this company, there is no documentation unless it's API related".
Last month's retro, 80% of our (mine and lead dev) problems were related to a lack of kt, I laughed.

Fucking damn! This program is so poorly built that it's racking up terrible amounts of technical debt. This should be fucking easier than this, but because of how closely coupled everything is I'm now having to suffer through this ungodly beast of code.

I was aiming for a nice top down model where things communicated straight down, but with each additional feature requested by my PM, there are things that are growing increasingly more difficult to build around.

I could rebuild the entire thing, but this is the culmination of 8 months of work!

GOD KILL ME PLEASEEE

Generator functions should be treated like sorting algorithms: Not worth your time if all you have is 4 or less async instructions.
Callback hell is actually kind of nice and warm when you're a just a few levels down. If you're really confused by your obfuscated code, you suck at node.

I feel fucking proud of myself.

I spent the better part of three days trying to figure out how to compile source code on Linux using ./configure and stuff and best place to put the compiled source after running make and it all works. It's such a small thing but seeing as I've been tarnished with Windows this is a great accomplishment to me.

Also because I wasted days figuring this out, jumping to multiple topics, progressing deeper and deeper into different topics to figure it out... abstraction would've been nice...

Just found my new scent

I've found a new genre that is really nice to listen to when I'm doing homework or the rare time I code some.

Bluegrass banjo music. It's pretty simple and it's never slow. It's off but if it works, it works 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

I just love code-golf, I only started recently, but sometimes it's nice to fuck all coding conventions, missuse lazy evaluation and abuse scope leaking.
I'm normally really tidy with formating and whitespace placement, but code-golf is also a testing field for uncommen constructs and I think it can give deeper insights into a language.

I don't like languages specifically for code-golf though, these are just stupid and no fun (at least for me).

Switching workplace after new year.
Already told boss I'm quitting last week. And it is like as soon as It was official I lost all patience with the company bullshit and lost the little interest I had left for my daily work. The codebase seemes bad before but now it feel 100x worse.

Work ethic keeps me from doing nothing but man I just want to get out.

Will be so nice to work with a new project and code base.

About skyRant. I really like what you're doing for establishing it as a third party app with the verify login thing. Technically there is no way for me to verify if the app I'm using is using that source code unless I built it myself, but still nice.

I do feel a bit odd about having additional data such as reactions on the skyRant platform. It's cool and all, but it degrades the experience for anyone not using skyRant. If I like someone's post with a ❤️ there is no guarantee that user will see it. Idk just some random thoughts, but very cool app! :)

Debugging a task, that's sending emails to too many customers.
Supervisor: "Never mind, just test in production, there is a dry run flag for the tasks."
Just in case I test locally...
Flags tried:
--dryrun="TRUE" => Error, failed to send mail.
--dryrun=TRUE => Error, failed to send mail.
--dryrun="true" => Not trying to send mail.

If it's THIS PICKY a little more documentation would be nice.
And by a little more I mean: more than the task base class in a giant php monstrosity without phpdocs expecting its code to be self-documenting.

It would be nice if I didn't have to come in and code on your bullshit product for your bullshit company so I could actually do some code and be happy about it.

If I wasn't so dependent on a regular income I'd be out and doing my own thing already. Money doesn't motivate me to code, it just creates the necessity for me to code for someone elses shitty ideas...

I fucking hate vendor prefixes. HATE.

Got some nice JS code? Well it's about to get ugly 'cause in our browser, the API needs some special name treatment or it feels offended.

Got some nice CSS?
You're welcome, it just grew 3x in size because "ugh, I ain't havin' the same flexbox as lousy Chrome over there! I'm special, I'm -ms-!"

Fucking bullshit.

The nice thing about being a developer? Learning something new every day. The worst thing about being a developer? Going back to the code you wrote before learning these new things.