Don't you just hate it when you are writing up a report and this happens.. ugh,the frustration!

assignment: use winAPI to create a "virus" that put itself in autorun and does nothing.

me, a curious student: does the assignment and adds a heap corruption code just as a joke.

after sending the assignment to the teacher I realized that I have sent the real virus.

result: teacher comes next lesson without a computer and stares at me silently and viciously.

we'll see what happens next
any idea on what's going on in his head?

Guy: dot net dev (C#) on windows. (desktop + server)
Team(not his team, he just happened to sit next to us): php/frontend devs and Linux (server) people.

Team: starting a new project! We'll have to see what framework to use and what server :D
Guy: i know it's none of my business...... but I'd recommend dot net and windows server!
Me: respectfully, that hardly makes sense, you know our skillset/field... i understand that it works for you but it doesn't really for us :).
Next to that we'd rather not use windows for security reasons.

It's fine if that happens once.

When it happened for the 1748472823'th time, I had a real hard time controlling myself.

*after 2 hours of programming*
Me to me: you can watch one episode of [some series]!
Me to me after that episode: just one more couldn't hurt for once!
...............
...............
...............
*five hours later*
Me: "what am I doing with my life 😭

This happens too fucking damn often 😫

It's 4 A.M and I just remembered what I did wrong, this happens every freaking time 😐

What the hell brain !
I need some sleep !

I just hate when stuff like this happens...

I just spent 20m debugging.

Basically bootstrap nav wasn't working. Couldn't understand why not.

Figured out its a an issue with the JS interfering so I remove the script reference from my HTML. Problem solved.

Okay,cool. Now let's add that file back in and figure out what caused the issue.

Hm. This line looks like it might be it *comments it out*...odd. Problem still happens.

*proceed to comment out and test every function to see what could be causing this issue*. Still happens. Fuck it. *comments the entire file out*

what the fucking fuck. I remove the script reference the problem is gone. I remove all code from the script - problem persists.

...wait...are you fucking kidding me. I OPENED THE WRONG JS FILE WITH THE SAME NAME BUT IN A DIFFERNT DIRECTORY.

Sometimes you wish life was like computer, so every time some fuck happens you can just fix it or reinstall it

We are pioneers.

We build software, an extremely complex concept that didn't exist just 70 years ago.

We learned to harness its complexity and bend it at our will. Just stop for a minute and think about what happens when you load a URL in your web browser. The whole process.

In all human history, nobody has ever been the protagonist in something so complex as software. Yet we know that all of this wouldn't exist without a community of developers, sharing code and knowledge over the same system that they have created.

_We are dwarves perched on the shoulders of our fellows_

That's why even if nobody understands our work, I still think this is the most beautiful job in the world.

"I don't like the people in this town, they're so empty."

"I don't have a girlfriend, all the girls in here are so empty."

"I prefer reading over scrolling down through Facebook feeds, because books teach you something."

This time those words didn't come from me.. as it so happens that the guy who recently moved into the apartment next door is an aerospace engineer, also diagnosed with autism (I suspect Asperger) and apparently a curious brainiac as well. Guess I've just found myself a new friend.. right next door 😋

*Friend's phone isn't sending messages*
Me: "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"
Friend: "Oh fuck off"
Me: "Well have you? just do it."
*restarts phone, it works*
Me: "funny how that happens"

Was just asked to take on even more work. Asked for a raise. "there's no room in the organization for a new position". Yes, but you can still pay me more.

I'm not comfortable enough to do more work without more pay. Sorry.

We'll see what happens.

Just spent 30 minutes trying to figure out why a function wasn't working when I realized I hadn't called it. This is what happens when I forget my coffee.

Had an interview this morning..
Interviewer - have you used github?
Me - yes
Intw - so, you have a profile on github?
Me - yes (** in mind, I don't think github will allow me without that **)

Intw - how many commits have you done?
Me - ** what kinda qust is this ** well,... Yeah... Umm.. A lot! 🙄

Intw - how much is a lot for you?
Me - umm... Well... A lot lot... So many... I mean a lot of... **Long pause** .... You see, I'm a commitment type of guy. ** Wtf did i just say?**

Intw - Whattt!! Then he laughed.

... and I used to think that my days of embarrassing interviews are over. I'm not going to that company doesn't matter what happens. Shitt 😐

I am so bad at Smalltalk.. really, I feel like an idiot every time, and every time I end up in silence. Just talk to me something it-related, I can't stop talking. Does this happens to you too?

This new (probs April fools) score thingy...

Haven't been on devRant all day and now I'm tipsy on a quite some special beers and this score thingy happens....

I just literally blinked a few times to check if my eyes were functioning properly and restarted devRant to veeeeery much assure that 😅😆

Well played!

How do people just go about deleting databases when they don't mean to?

"Ah, a database!"
*Flaps hands at the keyboard until something happens*
"Oops, I deleted the database :/"
(*Posts a rant about accidentally deleting the database on devRant*)

🤔

Our project manager who also happens to be our web designer... (Start Up)

Project Manager: We have a go signal. Go convert this design to html and css. And make it responsive.

Me: Can you forward me the mail so I can check if it's actually approved?

Project Manager: Just do it.

Me: (After tweaking) There. It's done.

Project Manager: They want to change all the layout of the site. We're gonna do it from scratch. They didn't like the design.

Me: What? I thought your design was approved?

Project Manager: I thought so too. But i'm your PM so get back to work.

There was no mail from the client.

DO NOT USE JAVASCRIPT FOR PUBLIC WEBSITES IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE IT!!!

Almost every fucking day, I click a fucking button and NOTHING HAPPENS. I open the console and find tens of JavaScript errors, that *I* have to debug and fix in order to proceed.

FUR FUCK SAKE, JavaScript is not strictly needed, those fucking React and Vue are also not needed. Just now I wanted to download a form: IT'S A FUCKING PDF FILE, why the fuck are you putting your broken JavaScript function to let me download it!? PUT A FUCKING DOWNLOAD LINK YOU FUCKING MORON!

Nobody is forcing anybody to use JavaScript or those fucking fancy frameworks, SO WHY THE FUCK PEOPLE OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS THAT USED TO WORK SO WELL!

The office toilet chronicles - episode 3

Someone left shit on the toilet seat. That's right. Shit. On the toilet seat.

This is the second time this happens. I'm working with fucking monkeys here. One of these days they'll start throwing feces at each other. I just hope I'll be long gone when it happens.

"No one's here, let's just restart it and see what happens."

The girl I loved for four years left me four months ago. It has been the most painful four months of my life and I struggled through the initial days. Both my health and my productivity suffered.

But I feel better now. Trying my best to keep moving forward and stay positive. Realised that shit happens and we can't just sudo our way out of everything.

Just wanted to share. Thank you for reading this far.

I hate it when you just want to wash your hands and this happens!

Client: "We don't want line breaks in that column make it 500px wide!"
Me: Makes the column 500px wide. Sees that the line breaks are still there. Asks if it should be made wider to fit the text.
Client: "Just implement what we send you"
Me: Ok (thinking wtf)
Client after testing: "Why are there still line breaks?!?"
🙄😥😤😭
Why the actual hell can't they get there freaking requirements in order?!? This shit happens with every fourth request!

I feel a bit bad when I reject most people after interviews - they'll do alright, just don't have the knowledge we're looking for.

Other people who fail interviews just piss me off.

If you're applying for a *senior* position, yet you tell me a race hazard is "what happens when concurrent applications are working efficiently", a GET request is "only ever used in a REST API", a POST request is "when you use TCP directly" and you can't write a single line of code in a new project because "in the real world we always just modify what's there already", then please sod right off. There comes a point when you clearly know bugger all, have extensively lied on your CV, and you're just trying to con your way into a position while hoping no-one notices.

Argh.

Tragedies of Non-Technical Boss:

Boss: What happened yesterday, tried reaching you several times, you were just unavailable!

Me: My wifi stopped working as there was some issue at the ISP's end.

Boss: You could've atleast dropped a skype message that your internet is not working!

Me: Yes sir but the internet was not working, so I couldn't drop that message too!!

Boss: But you should have, I was in panic what happened to you...You were alright or not?...

Me: Yup I know, I didn't see the wifi tragedy coming.

Boss: If ever the internet goes down or anything sort of that happens just drop me a text on skype, that your internet is not working. Okay!

Me: *Confused* as to if he is high or just not listening to what I am saying...

I've stopped cursing when this happens. I've just grown to accept it as a natural part of my life.

I'm in grade 9.
I started a programming club in my school.
I told them that I'd teach basic HTML,JS,CSS,C++,C,Java.
Nobody signed up.
Because it happens on Thursdays.
FML.
However, people told other people that I have wicked programming skills and so one of the school staff asked me to help them maintain their school website, which is currently just Google Sites (*vomit).
:(

Manager: I just created a new ticket! The website flashes when you reload it!

Dev: Yes, that's typically what happens when you reload a website.

Manager: ...

Dev: ...

This might come off like i'm so full of myself, but its just true.

This probably happens to so many other girl devs as well, so this might be relatable.

Why can't guys at school, work, etc. just be friends with me? They often start liking me as more than a friend, causing me to disappoint them that I don't, and then they don't want to be friends anymore.

I get it, there aren't many developer, 'gamer', reasonably attractive girls out there, but damn it kinda sucks :/.

Before I continue, I should mention that I have a quality: I observe, find repetitive patterns and find ways to automate them. It just happens naturally, hardly ever intentionally.

I have been in this role for quite a while now. Most of my colleagues are of nationality X (I guess we all know what X is in IT projects). Naturally, there are lots of repetitions all over the place. So I started the automation.

The Frontend of the automation is a slack bot. It's just like another member of our team. And my goal was to make it as human-like as I could.

I launched the bot a few months ago.

Today I start my shift and see other employees of nationality X persistently asking my bot to join the conference call. Apparently, they assumed that the bot is just another X fellow...

Took them a while to give up.

What does that tell us about X.....

P.S. I have coded human-like conversation capability to keep on chatting even when the bot doesn't understand what it's asked to do.

rant

When you start a new project.
You create a new directory.
You start the IDE and create a new application project.
You type just 5 lines of code for testing it.
Then you compile and run.
Nothing happens...
You abort and retry.
Nothing happens...
Half a minute later a window pops up and Norton reports you that an executable has been removed because its suspicious and has a lack of reputation!!!

So this happened about a year ago. I was going bowling with some friends that day. My brother was invited, but he needed to finish a couple of programs for a MATLAB class.

So I drive my friends to the bowling place, then head to where my bro is saying. Once there my brother starts going over the program, he tells me what it's supposed to do and such. I follow along and I'm thinking "yup, this makes sense". That's when he tells me "The logic is fine, but look at what happens when I run it".

The program works fine...

We just stare at the screen, then at each other. "Your welcome" I tell him with a grin.

A Month ago...
Me: when are you going to complete the report
Friend: we can do it in minutes
Me: you can't Ctrl + c and Ctrl +v as there is plagiarism check
Friend: we have spin bot
Me: you do that now itself . if something happens? You can join me .
Friend: just chill

Now ...
Me: done with report
Friend: feeding it to spin bot!

Feeds text related to database security....

Spin bot:
Garbage collector == city worker
SQL statements == SQL explanation
SQL queries == SQL interrogation
SQL injection == SQL infusion
Attack == assault
Malicious == noxious
Data integrity == information uprightness
Sensitive == touchy
.....
Me: told you so...
**spin not == article rewriter

Just finished explaining to my 13 year old brother that the monitor wasn't the computer... 😧
This is what happens when you get married and leave the house. Your family become technologically illiterate 😔

Wtf y'all see shitposting and then you decide to continuously upvote it.

Look retards. Part of being a Computer Scientist, or whatever shit branch you are part in this vast field...is detecting patterns....if you see some dickwad shitposting the same shit over and over or using fucking retarded ass themes, or some jase shit then downvote the shit out of it.

Fuck me.

Someone can make his theme to be just posting ascii penises and you retards would upvote that shit to oblivion.

Stupid ass community.

"THeN lEave" <--- i was prob here before you dickhead....go suck on cock somewhere else.

Damn y'all are fucking idiotic...this what happens when we make retards believe they can be engineers

this happens way too often in our company

PM: did you made that change I requested?
me: yeah, its on the live server now, why?
PM: I cant see it...
me: *wtf, I specially forced the JS to reload to eliminate problems with cache* could you send me a screenshot?
PM: *sends screenshot*
me: I dont get it... I can see the changes in my browser *dev feeling intensifies* ... refresh the site and try again
PM: oh... suddenly its there, ...anyway, thanks! it looks great!
me: *facepalm*

turns out our managers just dont refresh websites, they want changes to take place immediately

Co-worker keeps cursing in Spanish and then smacking the table.

When it happens I have 2 choices:

1. Keep suppressing the rage until I can't take it anymore and book a meeting room just to get away.

2. Ask him to keep it down, to which he replies sorry followed immediately by "can you take a look at this?", which turns into 20 mins of teaching him how to use google.

I'm one bad day away from taking a swing at him.

I as the "coffeedrinker" stopped drinking coffee and energy drinks. I do not want to be anyone's boss but if you think you can live without them, do it. I am fairly young and after a long period of frequent consumption ( 1 coffee or drink per day), I was waking up at nights or struggling during the days from constant heart pains. Now 2 months later this phenomenon happens seldom and I feel better and more refreshed after my sleeping. I know this is irrelevant but I know fellow devs that overconsume these kind of drinks. At least if you can limit your dose! :) I just want everyone to be healthy and happy! Have a nice day! ♥

C=consultant
M=Me
D=my Dumb boss

M: so how are you guys planning to implement the block all accounts feature?
C: oh it should be easy! We will just loop over every account and lock it!
M: what about implementing a flag that just blocks anyone from accessing the site till further notice?
C: what? I’m sure it’ll work. Just need a list of all accounts, we don’t need anything fancy!
M: what happens when we want to revert back to the pre-block state?
C: oh, so we will just unblock everybody
M: even people who were previously blocked for good reasons?
C: i guess so, unless you think otherwise
M: we r….
D: listen! We just need to be able to block all accounts, who cares about this details! So long as we block all accounts! We need this nuclear option in case something bad happens…
M: but what about when that bad thing passes and…
D: when it passes it passes who cares!

Arghhh so much rage here… like first at the stupid engineering design of looping over all of the accounts instead of using a simple flag. Like 1 http call (from one microservice to another) is a lot better than O(n)… not to mention, we won’t have to deal with failures and retries.

And second for my boss being a dumbass… ok you deal with being to afraid to unblock people after we used this “genius nuclear option”!

The moment you realize a "professional" web development company uses a fucking free WordPress template to deploy their website. Happens way too often, just look for a credit line at the footer.

New here. I just wanted to see what happens when I click the + button

Why are we still having degree vs autodidact arguments/debates?

It's fucking 2018, who gives a flying fuck how you learn?

Stop giving a shit about how people learn and give a shit about their abilities and skills.

I'm tired of people from both sides (people with degrees and autodidacts) acting like they're better than the other. Stop being arrogant cunts.

Some people have the self control and motivation to teach themselves.

Congratulations! That's fucking awesome.

Others don't and could use a structured environment like University to motivate and encourage them.

Hey it happens. At least you're trying.

My god. Just stop with this shit already. It's annoying and unnecessary.

If you made it this far, how's your week been going?

If you ever feel bad about letting non-functional code through to production, just remember that it even happens to companies like Google (My screenshot from a few months back)

!rant

That rejuvenating feeling when you've been trying to get a piece of code working for days, google hasn't helped, and you're just about to call it another lost day, when a random "what happens if I do this" solves everything.

I'm going to dream about puppies, prancing through a meadow, and rootbeer floats tonight!

I've been coding in Visual Studio so much that when Google Chrome pops up suggested autofill options I just press tab and nothing happens.

"I keep complaining to you guys every day about this bug and nothing happens!"

Firstly, it ain't a bug. Secondly, you're not complaining, you're whining. Thirdly, complaining is a bloody limited resource. If you do it once a year, everyone's going to sit up and take notice. If you do it daily, it's just "Duncan having another moan", and the only thing anyone will do is play "what time of day will Duncan rant" sweepstakes.

Encouraged a friend to quit his current job. He is mentally unstable now because of his employer. His jerk employer harasses him and blames him stuff he didn't do. Blames him pre-existing bugs/bad features/bad codes from three years ago! He just got employed by that jerk employer two months ago. I know how my friend works because he was once my team leader for 19 months. He works harder and is one of the best devs I've ever met. He doesn't deserve a dickhead employer and that dickhead employer DOES NOT deserve a talented(skillful) software engineer like my friend. If anything happens to my friend, a lot of people will be hunting him down.

Just finished making the interface for my app in WPF only to find out that it will be waaay harder to plug it to WPF than I thought.

In fact, it would be easier to just remake it from scratch in WPF - which I'm planning on doing when I get some free time.

Don't you just hate when that happens?

..eh, at least it looks somewhat good.

At a previous job, I worked with a graphic designer who knew it all.

The first design he gave me, all font sizes were in points, and way too big.

I asked for them in pixels.

He said points and pixels are exactly the same.

I explained that they were not, when you're using a browser. He got visibly angry, and stormed out of the office to cool down.

When he came back, I sent him a link explaining the difference between points and pixels for digital media.

He sent me pixel sizes.

Next project, same exact thing happens, complete with him angrily storming out of the room.

By the third project, I just started picking my own font sizes, and ignored his point specs.

27 years old, been in 3 jobs. Hired in a new job. Confidence has went up and down like shit. Life has become more real than ever before.

What have I learned through all these bumpy rides?

Life is journey, it goes up and it goes down. But what you may not realize is that everything that happens to you, is for you to learn.

Happy Friday to everyone in this unknown path, just enjoy that you are alive, can breathe and see things with your magical eyes.

God exists for sure.

$number = 3000/365*365-3000
echo $number

Output:
4,54747350886E-13

No, Just No. I really like you PHP but thats supposed to be zero. I don't got time for your Tantrum's. I got work to do!

PS: Does anyone know why this happens? Solved it by rounding on 10 decimals but prefer it would just answer 0 instead of me having to force it back.

Six years ago I created a drupal page pro bono for an organization I'm in. Was my first site really, was hacky af, in retrospect, I created an unmaintainable monster. And as it usually happens, I moved away, the site stops being properly maintained, opening admin view just cries "please update me" (or was it "kill"? Not sure here). Now I'm back in town and get a call from the current one in charge requesting a training. I thought this evil dark dev history of mine is now finally returning to hunt me forever. But no, she actually understood it, and after half an hour she was perfectly capable of maintaining the site. I'm stunned.

Working on my Lenovo x1 carbon. Akku warning "less then 6%" appears. No problem, I will connect the cable just after I finished this function... "Will shutdown in a view moments" message appears. Ok, I connect the cable. Nothing happens. Maybe power adapter is broken or something more worst. Panic. Try to commit and push as fast as I can (around 2000 LOC from today, made big changes on my project today). While pushing to github laptop powers off. Fuck. Check github on smartphone to see if commits had been pushed. No. I do not have a power adapter for replacement. FML.

Story when I worked as a 1st line technician:

Customer: "Yes hello, I'm trying to install Windows as instructed, but the installer is not starting"

Me: "Ok, have you tried pressing [button] at the bootscreen?"

C: "Yes, over and over, still nothing happens"

This was actually one of my first calls, so my co-worker stepped in to help while I listened.

Co-worker: "okay, so when you rebooted the computer, press [button] and tell me what happens"

C: "....okay, I think it's starting"

Co-w: "Great! I'll just wait until it's running"

A minute goes by, installer seems to be running, but then we hear a loud BEEP. It's so loud another coworker hears it from his desk, through our headsets. A moment goes by, and it BEEPS again. Then the sound begins again, but doesn't stop. It's like an air horn at full blow. We ask the customer what he's doing, but he cannot hear us over the constant beep. We're brainstorming what it could be, when he finally says something:

"CAN.. LET.. OF.."

Co-w: "WHAT???"

"CAN I LET GO OF THE BUTTON??"

-----
I think we laughed the whole day

Me : *trying to download latest version of android studio*
Google: "Your client does not have permission to get URL /studio/index.html from this server. That’s all we know."
Me: FUCK YOU GOOGLE
Me: *googles: دانلود اندروید استودیو* (which means download android studio)
*and downloads it from a random website*

It happens every goddamn time, why the fuck i can't download this shit !? Because these countries are fighting each other all the time! What did i do wrong in my life? I just want to download your fucking app to write another shitty app to continue my fucking life. I don't know shit about this wars happening, I'm just a dev like others all over the world.
Downloading an app, is that too much to ask? Well fuck you then.

My personal AWS account just got suspended and it was the most terrifying thing ever.

It's back up now and reactivated once I paid up. Just a bounced payment on an old account caused it but for any of you out there who have this fear this what happens:

1. Amazon email you with reminders every few days.

2. The emails change to give a shut off date.

3. Your account is then locked after that date.

4. If you want imminent attention you have to pay $49 to talk to them.

Bonus tip : go to their billing page on your account, this isn't locked and allows you to pay up without paying the support fee.

Good luck!

The most awaited death happens. The death of 2016!

My fellow devRanters, have a peaceful and a blessed new year. And if you are single, just like me, let our streak end this year! Haha!

When something like this happens i just think that its
now time to leave the world!!!! 💥

Funny thing just happened. I called my bank to verify my card with Apple Pay. Here’s how it went:

> Calls bank with number supplied by phone.
> “Thank you for calling [Bank] Bank!”
> ...
> A minute passes and still ringing
> wtf.jpg
> About thirty seconds in and the ring seems fainter than before.
> [2:00] is it just me or is my speaker dying...
> [3:00] no, it’s definitely getting quieter.
> [3:30] why is no one picking up???
> [4:00] now it’s so bad I have to hold it to my ear
> [4:30] now it’s blending in with the white noise
> [4:45] yeah, no. This is only static now.
> [5:00] this’ll be good for DevRant...

> calls again
> same thing happens
> ohwell.mov

Let’s try again tomorrow, I guess.

Edit: like always, I forgot the picture

Am I a horrible person to wish something disastrous happens just so I wouldn't be able to go to work?

Just discovered a major bug in a frontend app of ours that might have been collecting wrong data in a form for months already :)

That is what happens when you put a back end Dev to do front end and back end while demanding rework every fucking 2 days for 9 months straight.

You know what just gets to me about garbage-collected languages like c# and Java? Fucking dynamic memory allocation (seemingly) on the stack. Like it's so bizzare to me.

"Hey, c#, can I have an array of 256 integers during run-time?"

"Ya sure no prob"

"What happens when the array falls out of scope"

"I gotchu fam lol"

Sent this to my boss just now:

Let's see what happens! :)

My first rant...

Every time a coworker asks for an enhancement, the request is followed by "it should be easy to implement".

1) If you think it's easy, then you obviously know the code better than me, right?
2) The idea of the enhancement may be easy, but you don't think about how a small change can have a cascading effect throughout the entire process... and potentially in a catastrophic way.

Happens every time. Maybe I'm just bitch eating crackers at this point, but it annoys me when people analyze something they have no idea how to write themselves.

I can't even deal with this. We just deployed a new update to our system, and everything was going smoothly. And then, out of nowhere, we started getting a bunch of error messages and user complaints.

Why do these things always happen? We spent hours trying to figure out the source of the problem, and it turns out it was because we didn't do enough testing before the deployment. Are you kidding me?

I know that testing can be time-consuming, but seriously, this is ridiculous. It's frustrating when something like this happens, especially when we're under a tight deadline. And to make matters worse, we had to roll back the deployment and start all over again. I just want to throw my computer out the window.

Uuuugghhh!

I'm working on a larger web project for authorities that went live yesterday.
I also trained the staff for the last two days so that everyone knows how to register an account, use the application etc.

Got the first call today: "I can't create an account...the website does not start".

Uh..okay...what the? >_>

Turns out, the user entered the URL in Google Search and wondered why nothing happens and why the website does not load.

Wow... and that was just the first call.

Manager 1: "We're going to hold a small meeting because of a new project."

Me: "Okay, cool. What project is it about?"

Manager 1: "Project X".

ME: "Right. What's the domain name?"

Manager 2: "Well there's this design but it's entirely made up. Just a concept."

Manager 1: "Wait, there's no more toner."

Manager 1 and 2 take 20 minutes to fix the printer, so manager 1 can print out an e-mail. They both return to their seats. No meeting happens. I roll a smoke and go outside to flip through LinkedIn for the nth time this week.

You've just sent slides upon slides to me called "feedback" but in each you just describe the behavior of what happens on screen.

News flash: I KNOW WHAT THE CURRENT BEHAVIOUR IS. IF I WANTED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT THE CURRENT BEHAVIOUR IS, I WOULD ASK, BUT OBVIOUSLY, I CAN DO THAT MYSELF, SO INSTEAD, I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD DESCRIBE THE DESIRED BEHAVIOUR YOU ARE SEEKING, THAN LITERALLY SAYING 'THE BUTTON NAVIGATES ME TO THE NEXT SCREEN WHEN I PRESS IT'

YOU FUCK

DUMB FUCK

CLWON SHIOWEIHOP'ASDFGHIO;DFJBKL;HDFG ADSBFHKL;ASDGIOPSDAFJOFEJAIOLADS FSAD ASAAAASDGADGSFADGS

Shit will hit the fan pretty soon. We're understaffed, the team is all talking about jumping ship and all other teams rely on our work, so if we jump ship, it sinks. It's really amazing that management is unaware or choosing to actively ignore the possibility. Either way, they're fucking up big time. Honestly, if it happens, it will be well deserved, it just sucks for everyone else working under them

I just read a rant about Java by a guy who moved from JS/python.
FFS, until now you were using some aberration of OOP by creating "objects" and making them however you want instead of sticking to concept of blueprinting and managing your classes in a way shit happens properly.
Yes, I do hate js/python-like langs if I would have to do something big in them, because I need to constraint my program so it works predictably every time. I don't feel like I'm doing that by putting some arbitrary key-value pairs into some random object :v
Java and her sexier sister Kotlin ftw and nothing gonna change my mind <3

Me trying to take a screenshot with iOS 12:

*holds home and presses lock* (the only way I had found to reliably take a screenshot in previous versions): Siri

Fuck off Siri I want a screenshot!

*tries again same way*: Siri

Fuck OFF Siri!

*holds lock + home*: phone locks

Christ almighty.

*unlocks phone, presses home and lock at the exact same time*

Nothing happens.

*continues holding* I just want my fucking screenshot.

Phone powers off. Hard reset.

Fuck this shit.

How hard is it to monitor two buttons being pressed at the same time? And if it is so damn hard why make it the ONLY WAY TO TAKE A SCREENSHOT??!

Now whenever I want a screenshot it’s basically a crapshoot whether I will get a screenshot, Siri barging in, or my phone locking on me.

Couldn’t they have just used the volume buttons instead? 😡

How do working professionals find time to learn new tech? Work all weekdays... Shit tired on weekends this happens for few months and suddenly kids are b building ai and stuff and u just feel dumb.. how do you guys do it? How do you stay on top of the game?

Tldr: I just FAILED AN EXAM because of my uni's SHITTIEST SERVERS EVER. YEAR AFTER YEAR THE EXACT SAME SHIT HAPPENS, THEIR SERVERS OR NETWORK FAIL HARD AND STUDENTS FAIL EXAMS BECAUSE OF IT, AND THEY NEVER FIX IT.
FUCK

In the middle of a 3h exam at uni, using Matlab through virtualdesktop, when suddenly it stops working entirely. Trying to restart it, no go. A few other people are having the same issue as well.
After 20 minutes of waiting, one IT tech shows up saying people in other labs are having the same issue, big problems.
Ended up wasting nearly an hour waiting for shit to work again - which it did, but only when the extra time they had given us ran out.
Desperately tried to salvage what I could of my exam, but I don't think I did enough to pass.

This is not the first time it happens. Exam after exam, shit like this keeps happening over and over again, and every time some students get fucked in the ass and have to take the exam again - the next semester.

This is supposed to be one of the top universities in the country, and top 20 engineering schools in the world.
FUCK THIS SHIT

Every time I tell a more senior dev I need help, they tell me to try the obvious things, I tell them I tried those things already, and they think I must have just done it wrong. So they spend an hour explaining to me how to do something I literally just did, and then more time trying the exact same things I just tried. Nobody wins.

Except for me when I find the correct solution while they’re re-implementing the failed solutions because nobody trusted me.

Sadly, this happens all the time. “Did you try a and b?” “Yeah, no luck.” “Okay, so when you try a, you have to remember to call c and d. Let me explain...”

So much wasted time. But the silver lining is in getting to be the one who found the solution (until they wonder ‘why’d she even come to me anyway if she knew the answer?’ ... 🙄) Because I trusted you to know what “team” means, and it’s not too late to learn ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Someone put a fucking \b in this dataset I'm working with, which just so happens to be an illegal character for xml.
FUCKING HOW. FUCKING WHY. FUCKING WHERE ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU WANT TO SEE ME SUFFER THIS MUCH

If your colleague is irritating you too much and you want to take a revenge.

Then just type chmod 777 -R /

in the terminal and press enter.

See what happens later.

I was excited to get back to work on a major project today. I was thinking in the shower, on my bike, on the train, on the walk from the train to my office, on the elevator, about how I would approach it and came up with a good plan. Again, I was excited.

Then, on our standup call, a dude says he needs access to the util server I manage, and just happens to not know shit about Linux. So I spend the next hour and a half walking him through simple SSH commands, and completely lose my train of thought for the project I was planning to tackle.

Now, I'm seething on the toilet, hoping to reset.

Just when you're about to test your code and this happens

Fun though practical question.

You've accidentaly pasted and sent some internally used password, let it be your account pw or some server's root pw, into a company's chat channel with 100+ other employees. What do you do next? :)

P.S. deleting the message is not possible
P.P.S. this happens. Thanks to windows "Let me just quickly change window focus from putty to chat window" _FEATURE_ I've accidentally shared like a dozen of root passwords with others.

I avoided answering this question because I had no motivation to answer it.

That explains things huh? I don't know how to deal with low motivation. I just try to let it pass which never happens. Or switch to other things I'm more motivated to do.

What the fucking fuck you bastard of an OS? Your fucking filthy "Copying" dialog box!

One of these days, I am gonna fuck you up in the ass so hard, you are gonna see Gates flying!

I am copying a file from CD in to my PC. At 97%, this shit hole of an OS says through it's fucking urine hole of a "Copying" dialog box: "An unexpected error is keeping you from copying this file. Try Again/Skip/Cancel"

Seriously?! It's 2018, and an unexpected error is keeping me from copying the file?! Where the fuck is your QA?

I, being an unreasonably optimistic human with this Billy fucker, click "Try Again".

What happens? You know very well what happens. This shit of an OS starts copying the file again! From 0%!

This is the second time, this bloody, filthy, fucking "Copying" dialog box has given me problems.

I am telling you, it's days are numbered in my PC. The countdown starts now.
.
.
.
It happened again! At fucking 97%! I just want to scream now.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

Handed off a Markdown presentation to the marketing dept to add some pizzaz too---just to see what happens.

My bet is that they'll redo it all in PowerPoint. Or fire me. Latter is the lessor of two evils.

People caught using emojis in code should be driven into the sea.

Otherwise one day its gonna just be straight magic, without reason or understanding.

You're gonna type a bunch of moon runes into a glowing floaty interface, pour the blood of a chicken into a collector tray (totally not a pentagram) and "shit just happens" (tm).

And "scholars" (neckbeards) will spend all their time shape-in-wrong-hole idiocracy-style button mashing their mystical ouija board IDEs in the grim dark future, looking for combinations that do something useful.

Every time it glows red? Compile error.

Every time it glows green? Christmas is near, congrats it compiled.

Every time it sets off a mystical air siren (henceforth known as "fusrohdah"), runtime error. And probably explosions.

In the grim dark future of Apple 40k. A.D, there is only war, warp demons, and pending VSCode updates.

Just me getting angry about the reaction after the Cambridge-scandal?
The news are spamming it every hour, and suddenly everyone is "well aware about my privacy" and deleting their Facebooks.

I mean, as if we didn't know this all along. O-fucking-course your data is stored and sold for adds, you accepted it when you wanted to "see which celebrity you are alike"!

I walk around and talk about privacy with people kinda a lot, and nobody seems to care. And then this happens, and people are going nuts. Waow, what a surprise!

Haha, have a nice evening DevRanters! ;) (20:55)@swe

I guess this happens to everyone but damn, hate it when dreaming about code, and not just any code, but the code your enthusiastic about, somehow everything seems to work, so that when you wake up and sit in front of the computer you just go blank... what was that code again, it was so sleek, so simple, yet so robust...

12 hours later dream about it again to wake up realizing you wont ever be able to wake up remembering the code in the detail...

Does this happen to anyone else? Load up the notifications tab, and after about a half a second there notifications all just disappear. I have to reload the tab to see them. This happens all the time. Android 8.

I'll open a report on the github page of others see this problem too.

I feel like the Jenkins logo is just trolling me when this happens 5 minutes before the end of the day on a 3 hour build.....I hate you sir.

I just came across this piece of recursive code, as much as I can guess this should be an infinite recursion but somehow it executes and does terminate. Can anybody tell me how this happens and what will be it's time complexity ?

So i got fired from a company with has a name similar to a burning forest.
I guess this is going to burn down someday as well.

I got fired for a shitty ass reason that doesn’t even make sense.
Just clarifying, i didn’t do drugs, no smoking or drinking or harassing anyone or cause fraud (frankly i wasnt senior enough to do one)

And the worst part, atleast 500 other people (these are all the ones that i shared an office floor with), also did it, and weren’t even investigated.

Join google, facebook, join any company you want, dont join this shithole.

Being frugal my ass, its just another term they have for being cheap.

Also people who are working there and are happy, wait till it happens with you!

Hahaha oh man... A devrant user just deleted one rant because of “toxic” comments on it😂

That’s what happens when devs try JS for the first time. It drives you mad.

I recorded a video of the whole rant by the way... not sure if I should share it tho 👀

git push --force

Because I always push after every commit, when the slightest fuckup happens I just hard reset, commit again, and force push...

...even if it's just a typo in the commit message

Me: Startup initialization tests fail so the system won't boot properly it until we fix those issues.

Manager: comment out the lines of code that are causing problems.

🤔 So we are just going to feed power to some hardware and see what happens I guess

"OMG WE MISSED SOMETHING WE NEED AN EMAIL SENT TO EVERYONE IF X HAPPENS AND NOBODY DID A THING WITHIN AN HOUR!"

Ok done.

"OMG WE NEED IT SENT IF NOBODY DID A THING EVERY 30 MINUTES"

Um... not sure we're solving this problem right way ... but there you go done.

"OMG SOMEONE GOT AN EMAIL AFTER 45 MINUTES AND NOT 30 MINUTES"

Bro who the fuck knows why that happened, it's email not instant messenger .... that's what I meant by us solving this in the wrong way, email for this is dumb... how about we solve this process problem in some other way or you just fuck off ... this isn't a coding issue this is something else...

No matter how many frameworks and supersets I try, I always conclude that nothing beats vanilla JS. ES6 in particular is such a beautiful language, and I love having fine control over what happens under the hood.

When I'm done I can just transpile it to whatever ES version, although it's slowly becoming a non-issue.

FUCK YOU Visual Studio, didn't you ever hear about asynchronous behavior? like WHY THE HELL you have to freeze every single thing to complete a shitty task, I just need to copy/open file..

Microsoft, Xamarin, and MAC Agent.. WHAT FUCKING POSSIBLY COULD GO WRONG.

{AND NO, MY LAPTOP IS NOT SHIT, this happens only with shitual studio}

Just another day at the office:
Boss: you need to leave early today because I am upgrading and reconfiguring the servers.
Me: ok, what happens if you fuck it up?
Boss: we lose all of our work
Me: but it's backed up right?
Boss: yeah, I think so
Me: ...ok, see ya tomorrow
1hr later
Text from boss: oops...

My favorite is when they just don’t come in one day (don’t give notice, just see ya!). If that happens more than once in a few month period, that tells you more about the department than the individuals.

* Teams meeting, doing some early testing with the client *

Dev Team: This is an early build, so please be aware that bugs can occur at this stage. (That's why we didn't want to show it but you insisted)

Client: Sure, don't worry.

* 15 minutes later, first bug happens because some state management at the front end was not tunned yet *

Client: Can you solve this bug?

Dev Team: Sure, just let us replicate it and we come back to you as soon as...

Client: Can you solve it now?

Dev Team: ... Okay, let us ser whats happening and we will come ba...

Client: You don't need to hang up, just solve it.

*Dev Team internal chat*

Me: Fuck
Other dev: Fuck
My leader at the time: Fuuuuuck

PS: This happened in two separate occasions. I hated that project.

Just beeing here and reading stuff that happens to other developers makes me feel that I am not alone with unrealistic wishes amd useless constraints from customers.

Me: ok let's actually start work on a project when I get home. Something small that I can finish, bin and be happy with, just need to clone my assets repo...

*Types command, nothing happens*

Hmmm that's strange, opens router config and sees it syncing at 0Mbps

*Mad World starts playing*

Management has been promising we'd leave .NET framework for 2 years now. Never fucking happens. A new ASP.NET project was just started last week and yup, OF COURSE, its .NET Framework 4.8.

I'd even be happy with one of the earlier .NET Core versions at this point for fucks sake. I have no clue why tech leads are so happy to create a brand new project on a deprecated framework version.

And yes, I have checked thoroughly. Our whole infrastructure works with .NET Core onward. People are just too lazy to learn new stuff.

Stuff like switching to .NET 6, actually doing unit testing, improving our CI/CD pipeline, refactoring problematic codebases, etc. -> all this stuff is the kind of things they promise me I can work on later whenever I'm so bogged down with work that I'm looking for a light at the end of the tunnel. All empty promises.

Ideally we should be on .NET 6 since its LTS and just stay on the LTS versions as the year goes on.

My new mobile development teacher just admitted he has never learnt git or any other VCS, I asked him what he does when shit happens and he just said,

"I just have a folder for each version backed up to Google Drive"

This is the guy that's teaching us? Surely as a teacher you should be setting a proper example and using good practises....?

C/C++ debugging with VSCode sucks ass.

How do I even debug stuff in forks while still debug my threads?
And yeah please just kill my program away, it's not like there happens some necessary housekeeping at exit or SIGINT. FML.

I think I'm getting crazy...
Yesterday evening I finally thought it was a great idea to set up Gitlab CI to let the server build (ng cli) and deploy (via FTP) an Angular5 SPA on commits on the master branch.

BUT...

The npm package "vinyl-ftp" thinks it is pretty fucking funny to just randomly stop in the middle of uploading files or just upload some files with 0 bytes in size.

WHAT THE HELL?

After some hate infested trial and error, it seems that the more parallel channels I set up, the more chance I get that all files are correctly uploaded, but never all.

If anybody here happens to be some kind of mighty byte bender and knows what to do, I'd be thankful. But I will probably try out a different client in the docker image...

Not sure if I'm disappointed or relieved.

Just spent 5 years trying the get into this class. Studying and asking and getting recommendations. I knew it had less than a 5% pass rate but it's all that I've been aiming for for years.

Finally got into it, and spent 4 months working my ass off. Today I got told that I'm maybe being dropped. And honestly, as disappointed as I am, and I might need a new dream to aim for, I'm actually pretty okay with it.

I've been so stressed and annoyed and unhappy lately. I was starting to debate if this is even what I want. And for the first night in a while I can just drink whisky and not worry about the next test or doing classwork at midnight instead of sleeping.... I can just relax and whatever happens happens. I can't control how tomorrow goes.

Not sure if "oof. I need a drink" or "thank god, lets celebrate with a drink!"

C++ code written before current standards still complies and is just as maintainable, but every so often a new major change to the standard happens and I feel like all my code I wrote before last month or so now needs updated. "Range-based for" ALL THE THINGS. except I'm just retouching code and possibly adding bugs along the way.

Sometimes I just feel that my most mastered and beloved language suffers from a severe case of multiple personality disorder. As soon as I get to know it, it's suddenly somebody else.

The good and bads of Seoul subway system

So the subway here is clean.
Yes. Clean.
1000% cleaner than the one in Paris.
And it is super cool here.
Awesome air conditioning available here.

But, it isnt friendly to foreigners. They cant understand most of the announcement. Why? B'cuz it is mostly in Korean.

So today i experienced some foreigner desperately looking for help.

Our subway needed some quick fox or rest or whatever, so it had to stop and go to the garage(?).
If that happens, all passengers should get off the train.

B'cuz the announcement was in korean only, he was the only one who stayed in the train.

I wanted to go to him and say to come out, but because there was so many people around me, i just beckoned him to come out. He did.

I just felt sorry for no reason.

I mean, just.

The network guy in me screams in agony!

I Just started watching person of interest, and this happens...

I love devRant.

So there I am on the devRant website, busy clicking through options I haven't checked before; I click on "Settings", then the options "Logout" and "Delete Account" appear.

It just so happens that when the options came up, the mouse is hovering over the "Delete Account" button, at the thought of such my mind was like - Ahh! Nooo!

Why are such many people afraid of dying instead being happy for being still alive?
I mean - if you die, it happens within some seconds ... done.
But on the other side, every other minute of your life, you just don't die.

So dying is statistically negligible.

!dev

This has been an eventful week I guess. Not a happy week, however.

A friend of mine passed last Thursday. We weren't too close, but we were still friends, and he was very close to a couple other friends of mine. He'd always had health issues, but he was only 19. He hadn't been out of high school for a full year.

Then I just found out today that another friend of mine got arrested for shooting and killing someone this past weekend. I don't know many details about what happened, mutual friends are saying it was self-defense. He's never seemed like the kind of person that would just murder someone, but shit happens.

My boss just now: "In a 32 bit machine the memory limit is 1.6 GB. After that programs routinely crash."

What really happens IMO? He writes programs that crash when they reach 1.6 GB allocated and the architecture is 32 bit. But it's a limit of his software, not one of the OS.

Continue with my ALL-OUT year of JUST DO IT. Trying to see what happens when I go YOLO for a year.

It started well about 4 months ago, but I slowed down a bit. I just want to pick up the pace again and JUST DO EEET. See where it leads.

Been working on a lot of side projects. I want to finish a few. One is already pretty much finished.

Then, towards the end of the next year, I think I'll start looking for a dev job.

Microsoft's new dialog messages in their software are pretty annoying. "Want to save your changes?". "Oops, something went wrong!". "Your PC ran into a problem it couldn't handle...".

I feel these messages are unprofessionally written and that they lower the bar for acceptable computer (and English) literacy in this day and age.

Its not like I think they should give a stack trace everytime something happens but just don't dumb it down any more!

What happens when a Linux sysadmin has to work with a Windows machine? Annoyance. Frustration. Irritation. Rage. Maybe all.

Is every piece of administrative software in the Windows environment as unfriendly as this wmic thingmajig I was trying to fiddle with today?

Everything, from its pedanticity on switch order, through very unhelpful error messages, all the way to a very... lacking... help description just turns me off. Ugh. I will "Unexpected switch at this level" you, too, you little piece of ****!

Was at a Saturn (tech store) a while ago, just in the area and browsing a bit, and then this: (see image, thanks C0D4)

This sort of shit happens all the time around here.

There was also my local Karlchens Backstube (bakery and café) where the drive-thru display had a green screen of death; I don't know why they used an insider build of windows. Or windows in general for a fucking DISPLAY SIGN. A FUCKING DISPLAY SIGN WITH JUST A STATIC IMAGE DISPLAYED.
(Image not revant)

Rant over.
Fucking hell.

Me: *opens existing shared telegram channel*

Me: Hello developers of SDK xxx, we have another issue. We've gotten 2 reports from users of problem X occurring while using the SDK to contact your servers. It happens here, then this happens, using version Y. Code is the same open source app + library as before if you need to check it, same 2 files as before. Here are some screen shots of the error in the app too, just in case

*3 days later*

Dev: yes this does indeed seem to be a problem. Can you provide us more info to debug this effectively?

Me: ..... I sure can ..... if you let me know what it is you need ..... because you currently have access to absolutely everything already .... and i've been waiting 3 days, some specifics of what you need would be great!!!

Scenario A:
Your code is working. You run again, now it's not working.

Scenario B:
Works on production. Next day it doesn't.

It is nothing you just experienced alternate universe. You probably with your manager temporarily jumped into another timeline where your code is not working.

Next time it happens tell your manager it's not your fault.

Eureka!

Did you know that "Chief Prayer Officer" is an actual role in some companies?

It just so happens that our IT partners have a CPO and the very same company forgot to install Antivirus software on our servers... I guess the servers are protected by God™. 😅

Why the heck would you allow (or need) nested block comments? Imo this is a major design flaw in the kotlin linter.

I always use /*... //*/ so I can remove the comment starter w/o having to remove the comment end, but kotlin just starts a second, nested comment there.

Java, C, Cpp, C#, JS,... Not one of these uses nested block comments. I think jetbrains was just lazy?

I mean, I know why such stuff happens. I also developed DSLs in MPS, but there sure are ways to go around such things..

That moment when you realise all the changes you just made are not working because you are making changes to the wrong project which happens to be a clone of the original.

has it ever happens to you that for whole day you kill yourself to solve error and next day you find out it was just happening because of a single semicolon

it hurts...

I saw this movie today where an antisocial guy just wanted to be left alone. When this didn't work he produced a scheme to change his environment to his liking using many cool inventions.
He seemed like your average developer but about one hour into the movie I saw something that only happens in movies.
He actually met the deadline of stealing all presents by dec 25 morning, I mean... No deadline extensions!

This is just a temporary workaround. I will come back to this and fix this later. NEVER HAPPENS :)

Why I try to ALWAYS use semicolons in JS:

In short, weird shit happens sometimes

An example:

So I'm doing a small project for freeCodeCamp, working with the Twitch API. I decided to make an array on the fly to append a few elements to a documentFrag in order after setting all my props. Forgot a semicolon. Apparently, Babel transpiles this:

info.innerHTML = (``)
[span, caret, info].forEach(elm => frag.appendChild(elm));

to this if you omit the semicolon:
info.innerHTML = ' '[(span, caret, info)]

this is why you should avoid relying on ASI, you're going to have to remember them in other languages out there, so for your own sanity, might as well get used to them. Just thought I'd share--who knows, might help a JS newb out there somewhere.

everything was going great, I was loving it,

then self happens

why should one pass self (current object refrance) to the constructor in python , why doesn't this keyword exist in python.

coming from java I always forget to add it.

just WHY?????

Why do some developers cut corners and add 20 extra fields just in case the customer wants to add extra data? What happens when the customer needs 21 fields. Just spend slightly more time and implement a custom field system that can extend to any amount of data it's not that difficult and you won't have to add a new field every time a customer needs more then you expected.

An identity platform where you can find each other, get the other's public key and preferred contact method. And the entire key exchange and choice of contact method are negotiated automatically. No vendor lock in, encryption happens on your own device. Effortlessly and securely communicating, no searching for skype name, email, phone number, setting up shit. It would just work.

Devrant making responding to someone impossible by removing draft content if you accidentally click outside the editor is almost more frustrating than half the shit I actually rant about.

I will have just about finished a long response when something happens and it's all fucking gone.

The moment I realized test cases are just super tiny applications that make use of parts of your codebase to run things and see what happens.

I had a rant on my mind, but it just went away... I hate when that happens ò.ó

This is incredibly interesting. How the frikkin-frik did the WiFi and Bluetooth die on my Raspberry Pi 3. Yes, I realize they work in tandem but how does something like this just die after just sitting around and performing light duty tasks for just a few months.

Reinstalled Rasbpain 2 times, nothing. USB WiFi dingle works great.

Not really a rant but I wonder how shit like this happens.

The Pi is in a case away from my cats, in a temperature controlled environment and adorned with the official power adapter.

Things that make you go hmmmmmmm.

Just had a bug reported that only happens in Chrome. Works in IE and Safari. This is going to be an impossible bug to squash.

Stackoverflow #1
Me posting question about how to prevent error.
User1: You answered your question. Its because of the error.
Me: I know. And want it gone.
User1: Proposes working yet somehow horrible workaround.
Me: Yes, that works, already did that. But i want to know why it happens.
User: Your question says you want a solution and it is one.
Me: One that doesn't solve the problem.
User2: Just give up. Don't try to find a better one.

Stackoverflow 2:
UserQ: Question how to...?
Me: Use this and that.
UserR: That is not an answer, so i downvoted and requested review.

I don't know a second community that is anti-encouraging like SO.

When you know more programming language than your teacher... but not because you're good, just because he sucks!
Reminds me of this question: it only happens once in a while or you had you guys experienced same feelling? How did you do to turn around that in your college?

To the devs at inc.com
Fuck you.
Just resign.
Do me a favour. Don't touch any computer for life.
After reading 2 articles I need to login.
Okay fine.
Facebook login fucking doesn't work.
Twitter login worked.
But but fucking take me to some idiotic article. Hello? That was not what I logged for.
Now go back. And fuck fuck fuck
Article still says login to read this.
And click on login. Nope. Nadda. Nothing happens.
How how how. How are you even getting paid?
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.

I don't know what happens to me today.
As always, I've gone to work, but when I sit on front of computer, I felt unable to code.

Not afraid of coding, not exactly unmotivated. Just my head is not able to code.

It's strange, because until now always I'd felt so motivated with this project. But today I've spent 3h on front of computer and I've not been able to write a single line of code.

Maybe I need holidays and I didn't noticed.

Going on vacation for a couple of days next week. So, apparently, the people scheduling the on-call rotation think it's a great idea to assign me on-call duty next week.

ME: ...you know I'm going on vacation, right?

THEM: Oh don't worry, nothing ever happens, and 95% of the time it's just this easy stuff that can be dealt with quickly.

ME (internally): ...I was taking this vacation time to get *away* from having to think about work. Now I'm going to have to keep this in the back of my mind the entire time I'm away, checking for alerts, and potentially interrupt my flow to deal with work, defeating the point of why I'm taking the down time.

Fuck this. If I'd known earlier I'd have tried to get the time rescheduled, but of course this happens on the weekend, the day before.

!rant

I just realized... DevRant is what happens when someone says "I have this killer idea for an app, it's just like Facebook. We have to make it, but it's easy" ...and you respond with yes.

Do your companies have dedicated software / web architects / designers, or are most places just a group of developers who are also expected to do design and architecture work?

Do you have dedicated front end teams and back end teams, or are most places just a mix of people who do everything?

I'm asking this because im a junior dev being given a large project, mostly to head up on my own (!), where I have to do design and architecture work which I feel is completely out of my comfort zone, and I want to know if this kind of thing happens often? Are developers supposed to design specs, pick the tech to use.. etc.?

I dislike Google page speed. I understand their intention but sometimes it's just stupid, like inclining critical CSS and loading in the rest of the CSS using JavaScript.

What happens if the user has JavaScript disabled? They get a half rendered site they can't use that looks broken, but hey, at least the crappy site loads quickly.

As a developer you have a surreal ability to plan the future and you are able to do it even in non-IT related areas of your life. Am I right?

Then, tell me, how many times have you died in your head thinking about "I could just jump here", "if I turn right that truck will definitely crush me", "well, that structure could collapse, how to survive if it happens?". ?

You know what's bullshit? CS Degrees as a requirement, even for the shittiest dev jobs.

Sorry fuckers, I don't feel like killing myself over fucking math bullcrap for 3 goddamn years just to work as an intern slave for some rich CEO who prefers to hire some guy who doesn't know shit about actual working with computers but has a degree.

And this horseshit happens only in dev jobs. Why. Are devs some fucking nuclear scientists or something? I work as sysadmin and they didn't ask me for any shit degree and I earn more than the average code monkey where I live.

Goddamn HR fuckers. May Allah take you to hell.

There is that meme "I've no idea what I'm doing" and there's the meme "it's fine *in a fire*". Currently I feel like a combination of those two. I'm in unexplored waters and nobody knows what's going on anyway, so I just make sure my part is technically correct according to specifications and when everything comes together I'm ready to respond to the expected disaster..

I tried to spread awareness of the coming disaster but nobody listens so I'll just wait and see what happens..

From now on I am administrating multiple servers in our company and monitoring is one thing our infrastucture lacks...almost completely. At least, useful monitoring.
Installing netdata or Grafana and integrate it with chat is definitely a solution, but what happens if the whole server just shuts down (very stupid scenario I know)? Well, it is easy, there will be no alert about the failure.
So, that's where I was wondering if there is a tool or even better plugin for netdata or Grafana, that enables remote monitoring from another server? I surely can write a simple script to check the server availability but having the whole monitoring tool on a single server instead of 5+ would be also easier to maintain and setup.

OMG!!! Stop with the image captchas, Shopify and other sites that do this! Good grief! Is this my life now? Budgeting extra time with my clients just to log into websites? That last login took a full 5 minutes of clicking on traffic lights, buses, cars, crosswalks, and parking meters. I swear, when the Singularity apocalypse happens, we'll be attacked by traffic lights, buses, cars, crosswalks, and parking meters.

Who the fuck thought that carieer grade NAT would be a great solution instead of just switching over to IPv6 and have functioning internet?

I don't want to share my IP with some bastard who fails every reCaptcha so that pictures take 5 fucking seconds for me to fade out and in again.

Neither Chrome nor Firefox have a reliable way of forcing IPv6 if possible so Google still thinks I'm an evil bot.
I'm waiting for my PayPal to be frozen because of "suspicious actions from 'my' internet connection".
I don't want to share my IP. I want to be responsible myself for everything that happens to it.

Please replace that old switches that are too slow to manage serious traffic anyway and are just wasting their power for being turned on so that I can have an IP address to myself

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK JAVA.

At school we were assigned the task to do Huffman's algorithm. Since I am way ahead of all the others, I made a GUI for that. (Btw, we use BlueJ for Java, it's just painful)
Now... I made a JTextField to put the output, which would be any character from 0x0 to 0xFFFF, into it.
Apparently, there is a bug in the setText method, which throws random NullPointerExceptions right into your face if you give it those Unicode characters.
So I looked it up:
It was a Bug, in JDK 1.6.something, where putting a 0xFFFF together with a 0x10000 would cause this. Now you may think, do we still have 1.6? No, we have 1.8 v171, WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS SHIT GIVE ME A NPE?! THE WORST PART IS I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!
AND IT HAS THE WORST UNDEFINED BEHAVIOR:
1. NPE, nothing else happens
2. The Text box just gets invisible, but the border stays visible + NPE
3. The box completely disappears + NPE

Try-catching it doesn't do anything, everytime I fill the box with text, one of those options happens, and the box was never to be seen again! NOT EVEN CREATING A NEW TEXT BOX AND ADDING IT TO MY WINDOW WORKS.

For fuck sake the fuckydifuckfuck trains just stopped working completely. I'm gonna be about an hour late. This only fucking happens when I have an appointment at work
For fuck sake

This is how my coworker does code reviews... imagine comment on a line of code:

"Oh why does this not do this and that.
Edit: Oh I've read few lines below, now I understand. But this may break when this and that.
Edit: Nevermind I realized, that never happens, forget about it."

Let me just emphasise, that this is single comment, so it's basically editted multiple times, before submition.

Like wtf, just delete the comment then?!

yellow lemon tree sound starts:
"i'm sittin' here in a boring room, just another rainy sunday afternoon, i'm wastin' my time, i got nothin' to, i'm feelin' so lonely i'm waiting for my fucking graph coloring program to finally finishing this fucking piece of graph coloring in which i spent the last four days figuring out what the goddamn problem is and for some reason my arraylists and my hashmaps didn't get along that well and now i hope that i have finally found the solution to my problem and let this fucking piece of shit of program run otherwise i'll get crazy, but nothing ever happens, ... , and i wondeeeer ... *dum dum dum* *ding*

You would think that one might get used to the following scenario, but it still pisses me off every time it happens. I'm getting a design created by the customer that is specific to a pixel-level. The product I create in turn is very close to a 100% match visually and functional. And then a few days later, the work already done, I get renewed versions of the same designs. Just like that. With all those nooks and crannies replaced and new ones added, as if it didn't took time, effort and experience to make them functional in the first place. And no one blinks an eye. Not the customer, not our project managers. So after having me built you intricate card board house, you just smash it and tell me to rebuild? It's not always a huge deal but it happens so often and I guess it's part of the "customer is king" mentality, but it's bullshit. If the customer hands in a final design, then that's it. Any changes afterwards need to be paid extra. Otherwise it feels like I'm wasting my time and those changes will not get the same quality treatment for sure.

btw boobies because hair color and because sometimes I speak about myself in feminine gender just to mess with people (and because mentally I am probably a woman even tho physically I look like a man - shit happens)

!rant
Bug (or feature ?) report
I don't know if it's a bug, a feature, and something that just happens to me.. When I view someone's profile and I want to scroll down to see the rants, the "first scroll" stops at the end of the profile. Then I can scroll down more. And after, if I want to see the profile again I can't scroll up. I ended up finding out that tapping the username lets us see the profile again. I'd like to point this out because the behavior seems kinda weird to me, I don't know what others think about it

Fuck, I just found out that I have to replace the (pooled) company laptop, which I sometimes take home with me to continue some (work related) side projects, by myself if something happens to it.

Team lead asks me why I do that .... Because I am stupid enough to invest some spare time to get more valuable for the company, asshole.

And this is also the reason why I asked for a personal laptop as workstation several weeks ago... You dumbfuck

Second night of my life wasted trying to get fucking Webpack to work. I just want a goddamn working dev server. I just want it to auto-refresh my browser, and yet fuck all happens if I use the "--hot" option for "webpack serve" in my npm start script (as described in the extremely terse and overwhelming documentation). How do the people from create-react-app configure this cancer? Jesus fucking Christ, this is all so overwhelming and extremely confusing, maybe I should quit web development altogether.

Windows users be like "Oh, it's fine. Our tent comfortably fits all my family and it's cold there for only half a year, but not too cold, just wear a coat while you're inside and you'll be fine. Clean water is only two miles away, walking is healthy after all. Yes, agents come every week and rape my wife but it only happens to newbs and honestly I respect that ritual, this is how life works. You only have to send three papers to them to ask them please not to rape us this week and they don't come for a whole week! I ain't stupid, I always carry my gun with me to shoot thugs"

Living with MacOS is just living. You pay the fee and they let you in.

Living with Linux can be just living too, but it can be much more, your skill and willingness to learn are always rewarded. I've been there, I used Arch.

But living with windows is always survival.

This condition over here which is never supposed to be true sometimes becomes true, no one know how or why, just change it manually in prod whenever that happens...

I should see it coming by now... it happens every release. I’m so tired of the ‘but can’t you just build in this one more thing?’ meetings. If I tell them we can’t, they get mad. If I tell them we can and we don’t deliver, they get mad. So... you want the truth or do you want me to lie to you? Your choice!

I absolutely treasure the bug reports we get from users. Nothing helps bring the product closer to perfection than the informed critique of end-users.
Recently, however, this one dude is filing a new fucking report every time he encounters the same fucking bug. "X happens for operation Y on file A"
"X happens for operation Y on file B"
.
.
.
"X happens for operation Y on file Z"

Jumping Jesus Christ, man, I'm pretty sure we can identify a pattern after the first two!
I don't expect him to know about the work we do to reproduce a problem after one report but fucking hell, have some faith that we'll get the picture after two or three.
These are fully detailed bug reports too, so it's not like he's just being a troll.

Critical Error: Webpage responded with: 404 Upvote button not found
(also happens to rants, not just comments)
(also don't look at the image for too long it's a pretty gross jpeg)

Has anyone else noticed these slight imprecicions where the the background peeks out at the bottom sometimes? It is pretty hard to spot, only happens sometimes after scrolling. Or is my display resolution just too high?

Today I was forced to write spaghetti code.

When your database structure isn't set up properly, that happens...

I'm already sure I will need to revisit this piece of literal shit when we revise that structure. Though, it'll be much easier and logical, and I'll probably be able to just delete a big part of the code and implement it as intended.

So I made a repo to have a template to initialize node projects.
I copied the folder to a new folder and found all commits where there but I wanted to start fresh.

Quick googling on how to just start fresh ... then I realized I might just delete the .git folder, see what happens.

Then BAM! All fresh,
git init
git add .
git commit -m "first! Template set"

Life is easy sometimes.

"I'm nearly done. Just one last bug to fix."

Time passes, coding happens ...

"No, not quite done. Just three more bugs to fix."

More and more getting myself caught thinking about the code more than writing it. I mean I draft it, it is usually very shitty at the first moment, and insted of refinifng and adding spaces to moments I just sit think, write some ideas in my notebook, search on Stack overflow, listen to the music, and wait until the code talks to me.

I know it sounds like some hippie shit, but it actually happens and really solves the problem.

Anyone has the same thing?

Fuck Apple and their shitty macbooks

the MacBook air I bought a year ago as that was the only I could afford at that point is slowly giving up as this piece of shit lacks any sort of cooling. As soon as Xcode starts , temperatures reach 80-90C and don't even get me started on what happens when I provide builds.

Seriously, how do they get away with providing subpar hardware at such high prices. Their after sale services will literally cost me another MacBook. This "ecosystem" is just not worth it.

Why must the scrollbar look like its having a seizure whenever I scroll faster than a brisk scroll? Why does it even have to change length at all? Why can't it just be the same length all the time? It happens a bit in the devRant app, but it's even worse in other apps (like the reddit app).

This morning, I decided I'm gonna do some Android development. I opened Android Studio (closing 2 Firefox windows to reclaim enough RAM), launched the Android Emulator and then proceeded with my coding.
Since, I've almost finished a prototype app, translated a good 100 strings, had lunch, updated 2 server and THE EMULATOR IS STILL BOOTING!
My Android dev friend tells me this "just happens sometimes". WHAT?!?
I'm genuinely starting to think that good software doesn't exist anymore...

I'm making an interface where I have a few columns, much like Trello. In each column there are cards. I want the user to be able to drag these cards an place them in any column, in any order they want. The problem is that at the same time they should be able to sort each column on date or whatever. Do you guys have any ideas on how to deal with the clash between custom sorting and auto sorting? Like what happens when you're in date sorting, and you change the order of the cards?

The implementation/programming is no problem. I just need help to figure out the interaction logic behind it.

Thanks... :)

** happens all the time in medical research **

Clinician : So here's the data, can you make something beautiful out of it so we can publish?

Statistician : Sure, let me take a look. So here you coded 1 for "dead" and 0 for "alive". What's the 10 for?

Clinician : Oh, didn't notice. Dunno.

Statistician : So they're missing values. No problem, just wanted to know.

Clinician : What? No way, let's consider them as 1

Statistician : "Let's consider"? And publish in influent reviews with fake data?

Clinician : Yup

God damn the last few days:

JUST give me some modular-ish code that is a bit more explicit and doesn't measure every fucking thing over and over.

Like I get how taking a couple .lenght and a bunch of other variables adds up to "Make a meat lovers pizza".

But fuck man when the code goes all over the place just give me a block of code that measures all that shit in ONE PLACE a god damn pizzType variable that I can use elsewhere and just fucking know what is going on.

Every damn corner becomes this maze of measurements that you cant be sure is exactly the same unless you fucking watch every damn variable, I get how that happens but god damn.

Some senior developers add in useless review comments just to pause merging.

When it happens, its tough.