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Search - "is it magic?"
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In one of our first C programming classes today in college, I booted up Ubuntu on the dual boot systems to practice our first few programs which we were supposed to be doing in Turbo C on Windows.
I successfully compiled it using gcc on the first try which appeared like magic to my neighbor. Soon our teacher came to check my program and said that I made a mistake. I asked her what is the mistake? She said that I was supposed to be using conio.h!!
I argued that it is not a standard header file and using it makes the code non-portable. She tried it to edit it to include conio.h but couldn't edit it since I was using vim. I was asked to switch to Windows and use Turbo C instead and also use conio.h. I denied and she told me to follow her or leave the class.
The weather was nice.19 -
My thoughts on programming:
As a child:
It is 100% magic
As a developer:
It is 65% if/else statements, 34% iterating an array, 1% actual amazing and unique code17 -
For people who think/find that open source solutions are always better than commercial/paid/proprietary ones, you are not going to like this rant.
I'm starting to get really fucking fed up with people always, whenever I see someone (including myself) mentioning that an open source solution which is an alternative to a closed source one, saying that it's shit.
I've had countless encounters on here (also irl) where someone mentions that an open source solution (GIMP or Libre Office for example) is shit by default while they've maybe (or probably?) not even used it themselves.
Also people going "you can't even compare those two as for what they can do/features/functions". I'm definitely not saying that those open solutions are perfect. But to call them worthless or shit and/or to say that you literally 'cannot compare them' or that the open solution just doesn't work as a *FACT* is fucking bullshit.
Let's take GIMP for example, the use case of a friend of mine:
- He works both with macOS and Linux Mint, he *needs* a design/photo editing tool which is cross platform. (or at least one which works on macOS+Linux)
- He does not mind paying for software but he prefers to use software which is free as in freedom because he also likes to tinker with the software (a lot of people find this argument bullshit, I noticed on here. Why is that? It's a valid reason. Maybe not for you but we're not talking about you right now).
- He likes Photoshop but due to Linux incompatibility and the fact that he can't tinker around with the code, it's not an option for him.
- He'd gladly go for paid software but GIMP fills all his design/photo editing needs (also the more advanced ones but don't ask them to me because I have no fucking clue how that shit works)
- GIMP *just works* for him, he never has trouble with it.
Let's take Libre Office, my own use case:
- It *NEEDS* to work on Linux, which Libre does.
- It *HAS* to be open source, ethic/moral thingy; Libre Office is open source.
- It doesn't need to work complete magic but it needs proper basic document and 'excel' sheet functionalities which is the case with Libre and it works *for me*.
- I don't mind paying for it, will probably donate in the future (seeding the macOS+windows+linux versions fulltime at the moment)
See, for our use cases, it works very well. So why go into "it's no match for proprietary alternatives" mode right away? It actually is, as you see in the examples above.
Please stop saying that those solutions *don't work* or *are shit* because they do work and are useful for me and loads of people around the world.
Do they have *ALL* the features which their proprietary alternatives have? Maybe, maybe not, maybe they're missing some and maybe they even have some features which the proprietary alternatives don't have, I haven't checked out every feature.
I'm not saying that it works for you, for the record, I'm just saying that just because for you it is a fact that they're bad/shit/hardly working, doesn't mean they are for others.21 -
Friend asked me, "How does it feel being the CTO of a startup?"
Me: "I feel like the main character in one of those cartoons where train, going full speed, is running out of rail road, so he takes rails from behind the train and puts them in front. And the entire thing is on fire. And everyone you hire is trying to put it out with gasoline."
Friend: "Doesn't your CEO help?"
Me: "Well... He had never seen a train before, and he thought they operate on magic and wishful thinking. And he never realized they need rail track to even run. So... not really"
Friend: "So, it's pretty bad, ha?"
Me: "It's great actually. We just closed our seed round. We're about to launch beta. I might even get 5-6 hours of sleep this weekend 😅"10 -
- just do your job. Close this ticket already and go to the next one
- It's just a 1 minute job.. Don't build scripts for things that simple!
- Look, we don't have time to spare for coffee breaks. Stop wasting your time on scripting!
- netikras, the IST shift fucked things up again. I need you to do your magic and clear those alerts
- netikras, there are 20 tickets waiting to be investigated. Either your coleagues spend 2 hours on them or you do your magic in 2 minutes, as always..
- netikras, please share your scripts with your team
- netikras, I have nominated you for the Star Award for your script
- netikras, here's the star award and the financial prize. Those are nice swarovskies you've picked for your wife! Good choice!
- Since our team has lots of spare time now, I urge you all to attend X, Y and Z trainings. Trainings and Certification expenses are covered
A very similar scenario has just happened in 2 last workplaces of mine. In both cases I was the one to build the script despite my management's requests to stop wasting time and resources on them.
When I see what is wrong and take some actions to right those wrongs, when superiors build roadblocks for me claiming it's not worth it and in the end I still build my solutions and become the most efficient person/team in the whole department -- that right there is what boosts my ego to the sky and above!! It proves I am actually on the right track. It proves that I in fact have a better understanding than those who should have it.
It just makes me tick!
Looking for another adventure like that :) With more power to change things this time7 -
Watching the Dutch government trying to get through the public procurement process for a "corona app" is equal parts hilarious and terrifying.
7 large IT firms screaming that they're going to make the perfect app.
Presentations with happy guitar strumming advertisement videos about how everyone will feel healthy, picnicking on green sunny meadows with laughing families, if only their app is installed on every citizen's phone.
Luckily, also plenty of security and privacy experts completely body-bagging these firms.
"It will connect people to fight this disease together" -- "BUT HOW" -- "The magic of Bluetooth. And maybe... machine learning. Oh! And blockchain!" -- "BUT HOW" -- "Shut up give us money, we promise, our app is going to cure the planet"
You got salesmen, promising their app will be ready in 2 weeks, although they can't even show any screenshots yet.
You got politicians mispronouncing technical terminology, trying hard to look as informed as possible.
You got TV presenters polling population support for "The App" by interviewing the most digitally oblivious people.
One of the app development firms (using some blockchain-based crap) promised transparency about their source code for auditing.... so they committed their source, including a backup file from one of their other apps, containing 200 emails/passwords to Github.
It's kind of entertaining... in the same way as a surgery documentary about the removal of glass shards from a sexually adventurous guy's butthole.
Imma keep watching out of morbid fascination.... from a very safe distance, far away from the blood and shit that's splattering against the walls.
And my phone -- keep your filthy infected bytes away from my sweet baby.
I'll stick with social distancing, regular hand washing, working from home and limited supermarket trips, thank you very much.26 -
Manager: Give me an estimate for this project.
Me: It will take end to end approx two months.
Manager: Can you do it in a day. Make some magic happen. This is high critical for business.
Me: Sure. I have a small requirement from you to achieve it.
Manager: What
Me: Please get me the 'Limitless' capsule.9 -
# Day 0:
Me: "Hey boss, I want to let you know that I need this kind of information from the customer for these features, otherwise I cannot finish the project's milestone in two weeks."
Boss: "OK, just continue as far as you can get. We have to get this finished."
Me: "Well, I cannot go any further for these tickets. I need that input. Shall we leave them in todo?"
Boss: "OK."
# Day 7:
Boss: "Whe didn't you start on these tickets in todo?
Me: "As I have told you, I need some information."
Boss: "We gotta get this out of the door!"
Me: "Yes, if we want to meet the deadline, we should. Yet I cannot guess the feature. Also, let me create a column: `to clarify` and move that ticket there. As I have said: I need that information. You have to contact the customer about it and get their feedback.
Boss: "OK."
# Day 13:
Boss: "Why isn't this project finished? There are still tickets open."
Me: "You never provided the information I asked you about."
Boss: "I want an explanation not an excuses."
Me o_O: "This is the explanation. I was asking you on multiple occasions about the required feedback. You never provided it. See the columns name? It's called `to clarify`. We created it last time together. That clarification never happened even though I told you that I need it. I cannot do magic. I can only implement features, and while I can sometimes make intelligent guesses to their use cases, I rather implement their actual ones than my fictional ones.
Boss: "You should have told me."
Me: ಠ_ಠ9 -
Never gonna happen:
* Port our API to graphql. Or even make it just vaguely rest-compliant. Or even just vaguely consistent.
* Migrate from mysql to postgres. Or any sane database.
* Switch codebase from PHP to... well, anything else.
* Teach coworkers to not commit passwords, API keys, etc.
* Teach coworkers to write serious commit messages instead of emoji spam
* Get a silent work environment.
* Get my office to serve better snacks than fermented quinoa spinach bars and raw goat milk kale smoothies
* Find an open source IDE with good framework magic support. Jetbrains, I'll give you my left testicle if you join the light side of the force.
* Buy 2x3 equally sized displays. I'm using 6, but they're various sizes/resolutions.
* Master Rust.
* Finish building my house. I completely replaced the roof, but still have to dig out a cellar (to hide my dead coworkers).
* Repair/replace the foundation of my house (I think Rust is easier)
* Get slim and muscular.
Realistically:
* Get a comfortable salary increase, focus more on platform infrastructure, data design, coaching
* Get fat(ter). Eating, sitting, gaming, coding and sleeping are my hobbies after all.
* Save up for the inevitable mental breakdown-induced retirement.13 -
Back in my teenage , a friend of mine asked me «Can you make me a software that guesses the result of a football match ?» I said «Sure, but you have to tell me how to calculate the chances of a team»
«Yeah, use the previous performances in the league»
«Ok, but you have to tell me how to calculate the expected result using previous performances» He laughed at me and said «If i knew how to calculate chances of winning/losing, i would not need a software!»
I tried to explain it simply «Computers can execute basic operations like sums or subtractions, and they know how to follow a list of basic instructions to give you a result»
He looked me like «If computers are so stupid like you are telling me now, are we all crazy idiots trying to learn how to use stupid machines??» and stated that i obviously misunderstood the real power of a computer. I walked back home thinking how funny was my friend believing in some kind of magic inside box called pc.
Few years later, i start studying IT at university. In the free time i look for small jobs like website development, small office network setup, pcs repair.
I continue noticing people believing that pcs knows what to do and how to do it.
«You sure I lost my data ? No i didn't do a backup. You sure my pc didn't do a backup ? No i hadn't a backup software»
«Why antivirus asks me what to do with the viruses it found. It should delete them obviously! Change my antivirus, it's too stupid for my pc»
«I want more people finding my business thanks to my website. How I imagine my website ? Yeah it has to be cool and full of cool stuff»
All that boring stories leads to my final question :
is our job dealing with persons who think we are some kind of wizard, well learned about dominating the pc magic ?
Please answer no.Please.13 -
Uncle- What do you do?
Me- I'm a software engineer
Uncle- My brother's friend's son is also a software engineer.
Me- (so what am I supposed to do about it?) yes that's nice
Uncle- I have a great idea, u should implement, I'm just telling you, it is a revolutionary idea
Me- (oh fuck, not again) yes tell
Uncle- you should make a matrimonial site which tracks what people do on internet and tell their to-be-spouses about it
Me - (yeah, I'll get sued for breach of privacy, and it has got nothing to do with my current line of work, and will probably cause divorces before marriage) yes great idea uncle
Uncle- see I told you this billion dollar idea, u should do hard work and make it
Just WHY in god's name do all uncles think laptop is a magic box in which I just have to type their idea in and it will spit out a website/software in 2 minutes. I don't go around advising them about their line of work.11 -
C'mon people! Spread the word! "The cloud" is not "just someone elses computer", it's a completely different way to compute!
I'm so tired of the oversimplifications done trying to explain the consept. The massive amount of work, sweat and tears put into the orchestration, automation and abstraction layers to deliver truly elastic, scalable and self healing infrastructure, applications and services deserves a fuckload more respect than "just someone elses computer"!
Hosting and time-sharing have been with us almost as long as we have had computers (mainframes etc), but dismissing the effort of thousands upon thousands of devs and ops people to make systems robust and automated enough to literally being able to throw a wrench in the engine any time during production and not have the systems suffer is fucking insane!
The whole reason the term "cloud" is so fitting is not just because it was coined from the cloud-shape used in technical and non-technical drawings and illustrations symbolising the internet, but also because of the illusion of magic it gives the end-user not being able to see "whats inside the music box".19 -
So, I sign up for devrant and read all about the school devops fuckery everyone seems to have.
The only problem is, computers at my school's lab has no internet access and only a pirated copy of.... Visual Studio *6*. Hell, that's 5 years older than I am.
No python, no git, nothing. The best part, you ask? They use VS6 just for teaching 9th graders Visual Basic, and for C and C++, they use TurboC++ in DOSBox. 25-year old software. They teach us Pre-ANSI C++.
No fucking wonder people from here re-learn everything on the job. I jumped the gun and started messing with basic C++ in 7th grade, and then had to go back and remember that 25 years ago, they used <iostream.h> instead of just <iostream>.
Everyone just saves their code in the TC/BIN folder in DOS too, making it more of a chaotic mess than anything ever imaginable.
Bringing your own device? Too bad that's against the school rules.
The fact that they went out of their damn way to make me use TurboC in DOSBox on Windows 7 instead of giving me a sane Linux install with an editor and GCC is just... ugh.
My classmates all think I work magic, while all I really do is simple logic. Schools here in India are almost universally terrible.
Well, it's a good thing I started learning it on my own, because if I thought programming was in any way similar to how they try to teach it to us, I would've given up a long time ago.18 -
This codebase reminds me of a large, rotting, barely-alive dromedary. Parts of it function quite well, but large swaths of it are necrotic, foul-smelling, and even rotted away. Were it healthy, it would still exude a terrible stench, and its temperament would easily match: If you managed to get near enough, it would spit and try to bite you.
Swaths of code are commented out -- entire classes simply don't exist anymore, and the ghosts of several-year-old methods still linger. Despite this, large and deprecated (yet uncommented) sections of the application depend on those undefined classes/methods. Navigating the codebase is akin to walking through a minefield: if you reference the wrong method on the wrong object... fatal exception. And being very new to this project, I have no idea what's live and what isn't.
The naming scheme doesn't help, either: it's impossible to know what's still functional without asking because nothing's marked. Instead, I've been working backwards from multiple points to try to find code paths between objects/events. I'm rarely successful.
Not only can I not tell what's live code and what's interactive death, the code itself is messy and awful. Don't get me wrong: it's solid. There's virtually no way to break it. But trying to understand it ... I feel like I'm looking at a huge, sprawling MC Escher landscape through a microscope. (No exaggeration: a magnifying glass would show a larger view that included paradoxes / dubious structures, and these are not readily apparent to me.)
It's also rife with bad practices. Terrible naming choices consisting of arbitrarily-placed acronyms, bad word choices, and simply inconsistent naming (hash vs hsh vs hs vs h). The indentation is a mix of spaces and tabs. There's magic numbers galore, and variable re-use -- not just local scope, but public methods on objects as well. I've also seen countless assignments within conditionals, and these are apparently intentional! The reasoning: to ensure the code only runs with non-falsey values. While that would indeed work, an early return/next is much clearer, and reduces indentation. It's just. reading through this makes me cringe or literally throw my hands up in frustration and exasperation.
Honestly though, I know why the code is so terrible, and I understand:
The architect/sole dev was new to coding -- I have 5-7 times his current experience -- and the project scope expanded significantly and extremely quickly, and also broke all of its foundation rules. Non-developers also dictated architecture, creating further mess. It's the stuff of nightmares. Looking at what he was able to accomplish, though, I'm impressed. Horrified at the details, but impressed with the whole.
This project is the epitome of "I wrote it quickly and just made it work."
Fortunately, he and I both agree that a rewrite is in order. but at 76k lines (without styling or configuration), it's quite the undertaking.
------
Amusing: after running the codebase through `wc`, it apparently sums to half the word count of "War and Peace"15 -
I decided to setup a little server on my local network just to make use of a 2TB harddrive I use to store videos.
Told everyone in the house I planned to grow the library over time and that they could access it all in a browser using my system name. It's become quite a fun venture and my video library is shaping up nicely.
Using nginx on a Dell XPS 17 with Ubuntu 16.04 to host a server that just auto indexes a shared directory on my external 2TB harddrive. Kind of an embarrassing rig, but it's just a hobby activity and I do plan to upgrade shit later.
The real fun has been getting to understand a bit more about video files. They used to be magic to me, as complex as their file extension. Now I run a script on all of my torrents which checks the video and audio codecs, converting them if they aren't supported by Chrome's and Firefox's web players, and outputting mp4s using ffmpeg. I feel like I have this stuff down fairly well now. Becoming more and more automated.
Next step is to port forward so I can access it from anywhere, but we'll see about that later down the line.22 -
A Developer is desperate: his java application servers are unresponsive, thousand of dead zombie threads are sucking all cpus, memory is leaking everywhere, garbage collector has gone crazy, the cluster sessions are fucked....
The Developer goes to the closest bridge, ties a stone to his neck and gets ready to jump.
Suddenly a bearded old man with a fiery look runs toward him, yelling:
- stop stop!!!! Your application is not scaling and misconfigured, your servers are melting, cpu usage is not sustainable anymore, but don't despair
The Developer, puzzled, looks at him:
-I've never seen you...how do you know...
- Hey, man, I'm the Devil. I know everything. All your problems are solved. I'll give you magic functions. They are called Lambda.
You'll never have to worry about your servers, scalability, security, configuration and shit.
The Developer seems astonished but relieved:
- Ok, sounds great! let's try it - suddenly suspicion creeps in - hmmmm but you are the Devil....so...you want something back, don't you?
(the Devil nods lightly with a diabolic smile)
- ...and...you want my soul, I guess...
- your soul??? come on!!! - the Devil burst in a laugh - we are in 2019. I don't care about your soul. I want your ass.
- What!???!!!?
- yes, I want to fuck your ass
The Developer, evaluates quickly the situation.
Few moments of pain or slight discomfort (?) in exchange for magic lambda. It could be worth. He accepts.
After a while of rough anal fucking, the devil asks
- Hey, how old are you anyway?
- 45, why?
- Oh jeeez...45!!!??? and you still believe in the devil?5 -
I just released a tiny game for iPhone!
It's basically an attempt to mix 'Heroes of Might & Magic' and mtg.
In the screenshot my terminal says 'helloworld.cpp'. That's right, this is my first c++ program and I don't care how crappy you think this game is, I'm super proud of myself!
I've always worked in data science where managers assume I know how to code because there's text on my screen and I can query and wrangle data, but I actually didn't know what a class was until like 3 years into my job.
Making this game was my attempt to really evolve myself away from just statistics / data transforms into actual programming. It took me forever but I'm really happy I did it
It was brutal at first using C++ instead of R/Python that data science people usually use, but now I start to wonder why it isn't more popular. Everything is so insanely fast. You really get a better idea of what your computer is actually doing instead of just standing on engineers' shoulders. It's great.
After the game was 90% finished (LOL) I started using Swift and Spritekit to get the visuals on the screen and working on iPhone. That was less fun. I didn't understand how to use xCode at all or how to keep writing tests, so I stopped doing TDD because I was '90% done anyway' and 'surely I'll figure out how to do basic debugging'. I'll know better next time...22 -
Having to deal with stupid testers who think your app should be resistant to water and black magic and report a bug if it is not5
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tl;dr @Root refactors some spaghetti.
I'm refactoring an api that creates a support message. It's a post route.
When seeing a magic hardcoded message string, this route instead updates the user object, and does not create a support message.
It also returns different results if the user is muted (fine) or if saving the message succeeds or fails (fine).
But if the user is creating a duplicate message, it doesn't save the message (fine) and... redirects to listing their messages instead? Wat?
Also, when refactoring this (migrating to a new message backend), I discovered that not all routes return a response. If the message is a non-duplicate, from a non-muted player, from a non-redacted client, the route doesn't respond at all!
So, I'm having fun cleaning this up. I actually am. Except I'll need to support all of the legacy clients for the next lifetime or two. I mean, really. There are still people with Android v2 devices who are using this thing. not even kidding.9 -
ARGH. I wrote a long rant containing a bunch of gems from the codebase at @work, and lost it.
I'll summarize the few I remember.
First, the cliche:
if (x == true) { return true; } else { return false; };
Seriously written (more than once) by the "legendary" devs themselves.
Then, lots of typos in constants (and methods, and comments, and ...) like:
SMD_AGENT_SHCEDULE_XYZ = '5-year-old-typo'
and gems like:
def hot_garbage
magic = [nil, '']
magic = [0, nil] if something_something
success = other_method_that_returns_nothing(magic)
if success == true
return true # signal success
end
end
^ That one is from our glorious self-proclaimed leader / "engineering director" / the junior dev thundercunt on a power trip. Good stuff.
Next up are a few of my personal favorites:
Report.run_every 4.hours # Every 6 hours
Daemon.run_at_hour 6 # Daily at 8am
LANG_ENGLISH = :en
LANG_SPANISH = :sp # because fuck standards, right?
And for design decisions...
The code was supposed to support multiple currencies, but just disregards them and sets a hardcoded 'usd' instead -- and the system stores that string on literally hundreds of millions of records, often multiple times too (e.g. for payment, display fees, etc). and! AND! IT'S ALWAYS A FUCKING VARCHAR(255)! So a single payment record uses 768 bytes to store 'usd' 'usd' 'usd'
I'd mention the design decisions that led to the 35 second minimum pay API response time (often 55 sec), but i don't remember the details well enough.
Also:
The senior devs can get pretty much anything through code review. So can the dev accountants. and ... well, pretty much everyone else. Seriously, i have absolutely no idea how all of this shit managed to get published.
But speaking of code reviews: Some security holes are allowed through because (and i quote) "they already exist elsewhere in the codebase." You can't make this up.
Oh, and another!
In a feature that merges two user objects and all their data, there's a method to generate a unique ID. It concatenates 12 random numbers (one at a time, ofc) then checks the database to see if that id already exists. It tries this 20 times, and uses the first unique one... or falls through and uses its last attempt. This ofc leads to collisions, and those collisions are messy and require a db rollback to fix. gg. This was written by the "legendary" dev himself, replete with his signature single-letter variable names. I brought it up and he laughed it off, saying the collisions have been rare enough it doesn't really matter so he won't fix it.
Yep, it's garbage all the way down.16 -
> TeamLeader1: I just discovered SQL is actually super fast! The low responsiveness I've experienced comes from our ORM!
> IHateForALiving: well of course SQL is blazingly fast. SQL has been refined by the best engineers in the world for the past 50 years, its performances are unparalleled for everything you could possibly need, unless you want to scale REALLY big. Sequelize, instead, is an Active Record ORM, so it's bound to struggle with huge amount of data, because every single row will get attached a significant amount of black magic to make sure everything syncs correctly. Why is that?
> TeamLeader1: I have a problem with this frontend component, it doesn't allow pagination. I tried downloading the whole DB to bypass that, but the ORM is slow... so I will bypass the ORM and download the whole table with a raw query. Look at that! It works like a charm, it's super duper fast!'
This mf is downloading some 35 thousand rows every time some user loads a page because he doesn't know how to paginate the fucking table with Angular, there's no way these people are real.12 -
Fuck it. I'm tired. Anybody found me a rich husband? I'm ready to assume the role of a trophy wife.
1. Still no recommendation letter. My PhD application is hanging on a thread. If I were such an intolerable ass, someone could've at least told me. Or at least told me "no" when I asked them to write these damn letters.
2. I turned down a job offer, cuz a) offered salary was below market average for that role on that level, b) the guy who was supposed to be my senior and the only other person in the team gave the vibe that he disliked me, and c) asked the PM a simple question of what is his expectations of the product for the next three to six months and didn't get a solid answer. (Can't do magic tricks)
So I turned it down cuz I don't want to get stuck in another's swamp. (Been there, done that!)
3. I'm running out of ideas for the comic I was working on. As well, the backgrounds of drawings proved to be an absolute hassle. Gah.
4. So, the next switch is to the barista role. I have signed up for a lackey/intern/assistant role which starts in about two weeks. Wish me luck cuz if this doesn't work out I'm all out of ideas. Like, literally don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore. Which will make those who are jealous of me really happy, but I shouldn't make my life about what doesn't make enemies and frenemies happy, right?40 -
Story, !rant.
This memory came up as I was commenting on another rant, and thought it was worthy of a better retelling.
So about a year or two ago, I had just gotten a Software Defined Radio, and was tinkering with it and looking around for cool stuff I could do with it. After stalking planes for a while (caught a 747 over my area 😎) I saw this program that decoded satellite images of earth, coming from the NOAA satellites. I thought this was amazing.
So I waited until one was over my area and let the software do its magic. The image was not great, since I had this set up on the first floor and there was a lot of material between me and the satellite.
So I came to the brilliant conclusion that I'd leave the program on automatic more (it will start sampling when the satellite is near) on my terrace, which should yield better results, right?
Perhaps. Who knows. Anyways, couple hours pass and we are running late to a family dinner. So we book it. Family dinner was great, good food and all, and was having fun, so never thought about my poor laptop, sitting alone in the night.
But then, when I was walking home in the rain... It hit me. I started running. I couldn't believe what I had done. Fast forward five minutes, and I'm out of breath, but home. I run upstairs, and see the laptop just sitting there, lid open, no lights on, and of course soaked right through.
I couldn't believe it. My only piece of tech at the time, and my only avenue for programming, gone. And I was 15, so I wasn't getting another one any time soon. Took it inside and drained the water out of it, and just left it there lying on its side.
Next day it worked just fine 🤣 the battery on my laptop only lasted max one hour, so by sheer luck it had lost power before the rain came. That is the one time I have to thank that battery for being such utter trash.7 -
In the begining of time, when The Company was small and The Data could fit in some fucking excel sheets, Those Who Came Before implemented some java tool to issue invoices, notify customers and clear received payments.
Then came the Time Of The Great Expanse, when The Company grew to unthinkable levels. Headcount increased with each passing day, and The Data shows that everything was going great!
But when the future seemed bright, came The Stall-Out. The days when The Company could not expand as fast as it did before. And Those Who Came Before left, abandoning their Undocumented Java Tool to its own luck.
Those who came after knew nothing of the inner workings of the Undocumented Java Tool. They knew only that the magical Jar would take a couple fucking excel spreadsheets and spit out reports and send emails like magic.
And those were The Dark Days.
In the darkness, The Data grew to be a monster. Soon a fucking excel spreadsheet could not hold The Data contained any longer. Those Who Came After, fearing the wrath of The Undocumented Java Tool, dared not mess with its code. Instead, they fucking cut away the lowest volume transactions from the fucking input spreadsheet, and left the company to report the unbilled invoices as "surprise losses". Fucking script kiddies, were Those Who Came After.
Then, at The Darkest of Days (literally, Dec 21st), marched into the project The Six Witchers, who fear not the Demon of Refactoring.
This story is still unfolding. Will The Six Witchers manage to unravel the mysteries of The Undocumented Java Tool? Will they be able to reverse engineer the fucking black box, and scale it's magic into a modern application?
Will they decrease revenue forecasting error by at least 2% in a single strike?
Only the future will tell.16 -
My mother is the one that introduced me to computers from a young age. She would tell me that they were the future and that people could do amazing things with them. Fast forward at me graduating from uni with a B.S in Computer science and she was the happiest :) she tells everyone that I am a computer scientist, she seldom says "programmer" or "developer". She is super well versed in general computing and can use Linux and Mac, so yeah :) mom is awesome. My dad has lil idea of what I do, to him its just magic, my step dad is the same way but he will be the first to tell everyone that I am a wizard.
My brother and sister could care less...my sister tells everyone that I am the smartest person she knows, but that I spend most of my time glued to the screen "playing with a bunch of weird code!"
The rest of my family is pretty meh about it, 2 of my uncles are super proud of it and normally ask for my input regarding tech or about life as a dev.
Finally, the wife. The wife knows how to code from before I even knew what code was :) so she knows exactly what I do :)8 -
*launch software*
> goes tits up with no info
*restart machine, launch software*
> still goes tits up
*su to the user it runs as and run it manually because fuck you shitstaind*
> still goes tits up
*launch with debug logs enabled*
> suddenly works
What is this black magic?!10 -
You know what really pisses me off about the dev community is the circle jerk that ensues when someone bashes something they have no experience in. Take yesterday's React bash on Reddit and DevRant. Thomas Fuchs compared React and JSX to the intermingling of HTML CSS and JS of 15 years ago. If you knew anything about React or spent 1 hour learning what it's about you would immediately know why that isn't true but no, a giant circle jerk ensued comparing it to PHP! I'm sorry but HOW can you compare a pure JS view library that is renderable by the browser, to a full fledged server side language?? Not to mention the React approach uses a completely different programming paradigm of functional programming.
When I first saw React and Redux I realized what this is all really about, a shift in the paradigms of programming. React + Redux is the first time that functional programming has entered mainstream. We've had functional programming available to us via Haskell and more recently Clojure for a while now but it was never very obvious how powerful functional programming could be outside of the niche that used it for more analytical type tools. Now we have things like hot reloading (https://youtube.com/watch/...) and state playback (https://youtube.com/watch/... skip to ~3min to watch the magic) thanks to immutable state.
Before you decide that React is just another flavor of the month library I encourage you to learn about the advantages that functional programming provides (https://medium.com/@cscalfani/...) and checkout Elm (http://elm-lang.org/) as well. The nice thing about React + Redux is that it gives us a way to start programming functionally, without having to learn ML style syntax like Elm and ClojureScript. Keep in mind, when Object Oriented Programming was becoming popular it was widely controversial as well and look at all it has done for us.4 -
Client called the office in an angry voice complaining about how he could nog see the data in the latest generated excel sheets. Calmy tryimg to figure out what could be the problem. Asked him to send over the file so I could check it. Works perfect on my end. Ask him to open the file again on his computer and tell me what he is seeing. Error message, empty excel file. He starts to me discribing a directory full of files and folders. 15 minutes later I finally figuren out what it is.
The guy had set winzip as default program for excel files. Hoe do these people work behind a PC Evert day. Are they like I hope this magic box with screen and buttond does everything right today.4 -
Porting over code to python3 from python2 be like:
(Cakechat, in this case)
Day 0 of n of python 3 compatibility work:
This should be _easy_, just use six and do magic!
Day 1 of n:
Oh, true division is default instead of integer division, so I need to replace `/` with `//` in a few places.
Day 2 of n:
Oh, map in python2 behaves differently than map in python3, one returns a list, other an iterator. Time to replace it with `list(map())` then.
Day 3 of n:
Argh, lambdas don't evaluate automatically, time to fix that too.
Day 4 of n:
Why did I bother trying to port this code in the first place? It's been so long and I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IS BROKEN BECAUSE THE STUFF RUNS WHEN I BREAKPOINT AND STEP THROUGH BUT NOT WHEN I RUN IT DIRECTLY?!
Day ??? of n:
[predicted]
*gives up*
I've had enough.4 -
People who message “I’m getting a error” without any context or even better the actual error message, no one else can see your screen and we can’t magic a fix, and we’re not f***ing psychic, tell us what the f***ing error is. Or better yet, figure it f***ing out like the rest of us, you also have google - go nuts16
-
So... I've seen my dad talking a lot about quantum computers, and it's getting quite embarrassing to be there when he talks about them. He doesn't understand shit about them, except that they somehow use quantum mechanics for something.
Last week my uncle from Spain visited us. He's a Cristian pastor, and a cool guy, so they always talk about god and similar themes. We gathered the family to have a dinner with my uncle as he only was going to be one day with us. This is how part of the dinner went by:
" so, <Uncle's name>, have you heard about quantum computers?"
me thinking:*Oh my God. Please not again... *
"The nasa, the US government and all kinds of powerful entities are getting the quantum computer."
He always talks about THE quantum computer as if it was just one big machine.
"They have found that multiple universes exist through it. If this is what they are telling us, imagine how far they've gone. Remember that technology is always 8 years ahead of actual public technology."
Me:*please dad, stop. Who the fuck is made that claim and how many fucking years ago?*
"Did you know that many people remember that Mandela died in prison, while in the oficial version, he died after it? They must be messing with multiple universes, or multiple timelines are getting intertwined."
Me: *please, not the mandela effect again*
Then my dad procceded to talk about multiverses and how THE quantum computer was the future and about some parts of the Bible that supported it. Bizarre, I know.
When we are alone, I always try to tell him how things actually work but he always twists my claims to support his. Last time I told him that the mandela effect was perfectly explainable by psychological phenomena around forgotten memories. But this is going to far... Fuck the guys that made zeitgeist. Fuck Alex Jones. Fuck random youtube conspiracy channels. They make technology look like fucking magic for muggles.10 -
It has come to my attention that people like to read!
Specifically, I mean that a lot of ranters like fiction.. :D
I've been trying to decide on something to write for a while now, and I think I have it..
"The Traveler" (name open to suggestions)
The Traveler is a magic-based fantasy where our main character travels between world's using ancient stone portals (think: Stargate) and uses her unique powers to play god.
Each world she visits will equal to a different story, and she might play a good or bad guy (or both) depending on what the world has in store for her.
Her powers will include my WIP magic system from RISE, as well as some extra querks that aid the flow of the story.
I may still work on RISE, and I will keep in mind that The Traveler and RISE come from the same universe (I think RISE will be a prequel to The Traveler, and tell the tale of how she got her powers, and the origin of the portals..)
Let me know your thoughts below! ^~^34 -
TL; DR: please save me from IT hell
Note 1: this is a rant that comes after a couple other rants I'm going to call "family business saga" from now on because I feel like this is gonna go on for a while
Note 2: the following may look exaggerated but it's because of how pissed off I am at said person
So I have to help this one family member with his computer but he's worned me out so much last summer that I can't stand him (it's all tech based). At all. Both in person and via text calls. I dread and become pissy each time he's nearby, just his presence makes me want to jump in a hole and stay there for eternity.
And he's not the smartest cookie in the jar when it comes to tech, so he comes to me for help (instead of going to my brother. Aaagh why doesn't he go for my brother as well, it's mentally tiring having to "help" him - as he doesn't learn what I'm trying to teach him even after several attempts). I don't really mind being sought for help when it comes to tech, but this guy takes it one step further.
He entered my room with his computer in his hands saying this friend of his has installed W7 on his PC (why didn't he handle all the things he wants to do, it would save me a lot of anger containment) and that I *had* (it's always "YOU HAVE" because I'm a tech-ish person and I'm in uni for CS) to help him do a bunch of things.
So he boots up the thing and there are 32 updates to do, so I'm guessing that he didn't boot it up after the OS update until now. He leaves my room and I sigh out of relief. He comes back with the AC remote complaining it's too hot in my room and that he's gonna put it down a degree or 2. Jesus christ do not tamper with my AC settings, it's fine to me. The updates are still going on. He leaves again.
The computer takes its time to update and so does he. I'm happily playing minecraft when he comes back, the computer off after updating. He looks at it and says "why is it off?". I reply back "it finished updating.", trying to keep my cool. Even the most simple questions are irritation inducing.
He reboots it and lets it run. After it boots and it's ready to go he just stays there for like 2' without doing anything because the hard drive light was going off. I think he thinks the computer is going to explode if he touches it while the light is blinking 😬
He goes to connect the computer to the internet and gets all surprised that the computer doesn't recognize our home's internet (he has been here before with his computer, I guess, so he had connected, so I think he was expecting it to auto connect like that). I tell him that the computer doesn't recognize our home's connection because it has had a fresh OS installation and so it didn't have any connection registered. He types in the password and the connection is established.
He them starts going on about that he wants to get these pics on the business' website and how does he put them in his computer and all that. I do that for him and he's all like "how did you do that?? 😮" like it's a magic trick
And he's always going on at everything as if it's all a big undoable thing. "How do I do this? You know what, do it yourself and show me because I don't wanna fail". Dude. Bro. Everything - EVERYTHING - you are afraid of doing is undoable. EVERYTHING. Good christ.
I swear I've never felt so glad I'm going back for uni next week9 -
My father's PC is almost dead.
The PSU is damaged and it turns on correctly 1 time out of 250 or more.
There are days that he tries to turn it on at 8am, and it can finally use it at 8pm.
Also the other HW components are old, so I tried to convince him to buy a new PC, there was an offer where they also give you for free a new 24 inches monitor (now he has a fucking 19 inches old one).
But he doesn't want to invest in a PC.
Even if he spends almost the entire day by surfing on internet and watching movies!
So, I recommended him to change only the PSU, the same identical model costs only €39.
But he doesn't want to invest in it... he prefers to lose the entire day trying to use his fucking PC.
I really don't understand why some people just don't want to spend a bit to improve their life!
The comfort is worth it... the time of life you're wasting to use that fucking PC is more important than €39.
I tried different times to find other possible issues, but it's clearly a PSU problem, so obviously I can't fix it using magic.
Not in my father's opinion... "You don't know anything about computer science... nothing! Go to your fucking university (I'm studing Computer Engineering), and study how to fix it!".
While he was saying that sentence, he was beating the case, because he's convinced that it's a better way to fix it.
I want to leave this fucking house right now.10 -
First rant: but I'm so triggered and everyone needs a break from all the EU and PC rants.
It's time to defend JavaScript. That's right, the best frikin language in the universe.
Features:
incredible async code (await/async)
universal support on almost everything connected to the internet
runs on almost all platforms including natively
dynamically interpreted but also internally compiled (like Perl)
gave birth to JSON (you're welcome ppl who remember that the X in AJAX stood for XML)
All these people ranting about JS don't understand that JS isn't frikin magic. It does what it needs to do well.
If you're using it for compute-heavy machine learning, or to maintain a 100k LOC project without Typescript, then why'd you shoot yourself in the foot?
As a proud JS developer I gotta scroll through all these posts gushing over the other languages. Why does nobody rant about using Python for bitcoin mining or Erlang to create a media player?
Cuz if you use the wrong tool for the right job, it's of course gonna blow up in your face.
For example, there was a post claiming JS developers were "scared" of multithreading and only stick in their comfort zone. Like WTF when NodeJS came out everything was multithreaded. It took some brave developers to step out of the comfort zone to embrace the event loop.
For a web app, things like PHP and Node should only be doing light transforms between the database information and HTML anyways. You get one thread to handle the server because you're keeping other threads open to interface with databases and the filesystem. The Nexus.js dev ranting on all us JS devs and doesn't realize that nobody's actual web server is CPU bound because of writing HTML bodies, thats why we only use 1 thread. We use other worker threads to do the heavy lifting (yes there is a C++ bridge look it up)
Anyways TL;DR plz respect JS developers we're people too. ES7 is magic and please don't shit on ES3 or we'll start shitting on the Python 2-3 conversion (need to maintain an outdated binary just cuz people leave out ()'s in their print statements)
Or at least agree that VB.NET is an abomination and insult to the beauty that is TI-84 BASIC13 -
Yesterday I bought myself a PSP to relive some of my childhood memories, run custom firmware on it and so on. Unfortunately however, the battery on this one is seriously puffed up, and I need one in order to update the firmware from 5.50 CFW (the seller actually modded it too!) to 6.61 OFW (to then install CFW from there again).
I figured that I might as well have a kick at disassembling the battery for good measure, to take out its controller and power it from my lab bench power supply. I set it to 3.70V, double-checked the connections.. nothing. I raised the voltage to 4V, still nothing.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with the controller from looking at it. The magic smoke is still in there, all I did was removing the housing and snipping off the battery. I measured the cell voltage and it was only some residues at 0.01V. Might be internally shorted or something, normally even dead cells settle back at 3.7V unless you keep them shorted externally.
After seeing this so many times now with controllers, I'm starting to get a feeling that manufacturers actually program these things to look at the battery voltage, and when it reaches 0V, to just make the controller kill itself. Doesn't matter if the controller's electronics are still good, just fucking kill it.
If true, that is very, VERY nasty. It would also explain why batteries in laptops especially all have different form factors, despite having used regular 18650's internally for a very long time. It would explain why they're built like tanks. It would explain why manufacturers really don't want people in there. Yes there are safety issues and you're literally diffusing a bomb. Since recently we've also got space optimization.. anything for half a mm of thickness, amirite? But doing it this way is fucking disgusting. There is absolutely no reason for the controller to kill itself when the cell dies. Yet it seems like it does.
PS: I've posted the original picture on https://ghnou.su/pics/... now if you're interested. I noticed in my previous rant that devRant really squishes these down.12 -
i'm feeling so sick right now.
PM invited team for today to present his "vision": "<name of our component>: what it is and what it is not".
but it didn't make sense and showed that he hadn't understood the problem at all. the whole architecture made no sense given the problems that shall be solved. his architecture diagrams missed some essential parts that were actually the giant weak points of his concept. his pseudocode, that should exemplify interactions between components, didn't address the complexity of required interactions at all. it's like he expects some magic to happen and has no fucking clue about the requirements (but acts like it), even though he is the manager of this software project.
and when devs ask really interesting questions that fundamentally question his concept, discussions lead to nowhere and questions are not answered. at some point he literally said "there is no such thing as <name of our component>, i still have to find this out"
really!? after one and a half year, since you sold the idea for this component to upper management, and after half a year of development, you still can't tell what it is what we actually want to build? are you fucking serious?!
at some point in discussion he said that these questions need to be answered but that "there's no time left", and he ended the meeting. although there was still half an hour of meeting time left.
i'm so fucking sick of this, i hate everything right now. i can't listen to this bullshit any longer. in discussions, he contradicts himself all the time, it is so fucking surreal i'm starting to feel like i'm insane.
it makes me really sad and tired. i don't want to care about this shit any longer.14 -
"Your XML is malformed by these strange tags CDATA. I've cleaned it up ;)"
Fuckity Fuck my boy, now the whole website is down. All hail the magic push to prod button.
(there were snippets of user provided HTML that was passed over XML by a microservice)6 -
I hate buying new laptops. HATE IT. The manufacturers are always trying to do something that makes it more complicated to buy a laptop confidently.
Why not name all of the laptops with numbers? Make them really hard to differentiate. Then offer the same model number across multiple years so it is difficult to determine which year the laptop is from.
Oh. And let’s make sure every laptop has a major flaw in the form factor.
Let’a add a numpad that squishes the keyboard to the left in a weird way. Lets do something to the trackpad to make it awkward to use. Maybe the keyboard should have a weird configuration. Maybe we can put 4 spare characters of various colours on the symbol key caps. How about a battery only lasts a few hours. May we add specialized hardware so you are stuck with windows. Maybe we can make it super thick and heavy. Lets have a screen with terrible viewing angles. Since this laptop has no major flaws we should overprice it. No repairs or upgrades on this one because we filled the computer with glue. Lets double the amount of useless media keys.
It is like manufacturers are trying to design laptops like RPG game character classes. The fighter has no magic or stealth. The magician is weak and gets fatigued. The rogue is very stealthy but has poor defence and attack. The cleric can use magic but only to heal so it is useless in battle. The ranger is good at distance but has poor defence and no magic.
The only notebooks sold that are trying to make balanced character classes are MacBooks. Those cost a premium and aren’t reparable.17 -
It is time. I have to admit it.
I don't understand Git.
I just memorized some basic commands: git commit, git push, git push -u origin master, git clone, git checkout [-B], git merge. That's it, that's the full list. I use them like they're some kind of magic spells that do what I need. Everything else, those intricacies like rebasing, resetting, HEAD and all that shit, is beyond me.
I'm not a real programmer. Real programmers know Git.30 -
Hmm best part of being a Dev? I guess it is the fact that you can know how things actually work in inside something instead of looking at it and saying "Its Magic!". It kinda ruins playing some games, since you figure them out pretty quickly.
Other than that, I like the feeling that I know enough about computers and performance and how things work that I can choose the best Desktop/Laptop and stay away from marketing bull. :)1 -
Nothing is working today. 😭😭😭😭
My perfect results of Friday have all disappeared.
It now seems like everything was running on magic on Friday. 😭😭6 -
I wrote a prototype for a program to do some basic data cleaning tasks in Go. The idea is to just distribute the files with the executable on our shared network to our team (since it is small enough, no github bullshit needed for this) and they can go from there.
Felt experimental, so I decided to try out F# since I have always been interested with it and for some reason Microsoft adopted it into their core net framework.
I shit you not, from 185 lines of Go code, separated into proper modules etc not to mention the additional packages I downloaded (simple things for CSV reading bla bla)
To fucking 30 lines of F# that could probably be condensed more if I knew how to do PROPER functional programming. The actual code is very much procedural with very basic functional composition, so it could probably be even less, just more "dense"
I am amazed really. I do not like that namespace pollution happens all over F# since importing System.IO gives you a bunch of shit that you wouldn't know where it is coming from unless you fuck enough with Ionide and the docs. But man.....
No need for dotnet run to test this bitch, just highlight it on the IDE, alt enter and WHAM you have the repl in front of you, incremental quasi like Lisp changes on the code can be REPL changed this way, plethora of .NET BCL wonders in it, and a single point of documentation as long as you stay in standard .net
I am amazed and in love, plus finding what I wanted to do was a fucking cakewalk.
Downside: I work in a place in which Python is seen as magic and PHP, VB.NEt and C# is the end all be all of languages. If me goes away or dies there will be no one else in this side of the state to fuck with F#
This language needs to be studied more. Shit can be so compact, but I do feel that one needs to really know enough of functional programming to be good at it. It is really not a pure language like Haskell (then again, haskell is the only "mainstream" pure functional language ain't it not?) but still, shit is really nice and I really dig what Microhard is doing in terms of the .net framework.
Will provide later findings. My entire team is on the Microsoft space, we do have Linux servers, but porting the code to generate the necessary executables for those servers if needed should be a walk in the park. I am just really intrigued by how many lines of code I was able to cut down from the Go application.
Please note that this could also mean that I am a shit Golang dev, but the cut down of nil err checkings do come somewhere.9 -
It says "There was no battery found."
This laptop was not connected to a power adapter, but Windows also said that there is no battery. Did I missed the update where Microsoft implemented magic wireless energy?7 -
I'm struggling with a bug. It's not my bug, it's in a lib - in an assembly function commented as "this is where the magic happens". After 27 hours of trying to determine what triggers said bug my best guess is it's a relationship between the position of Mimas and the mood of my neighbour's chonker. If it's not triggered by the Saturn's moon and a pet animal... I'm out of ideas.
Now how do I break it to my PM that we have to kill a cat?7 -
"Programming language is a convention to give order to computer. It is not supposed to be obscure, bizarre and full of subtlz traps. These are the characteristics of magic" - Dave Small9
-
Python rant
Where the hell is Break key?!
Story: I wrote multithreaded python script and went to Lab to test it. Script got stuck (one thread died) and I needed to stop that thing, but how without magic Ctrl+Break?
Damn you Dell with your slim and minimalistic keyboards!10 -
We do infra as a code, and one of my coworker worked on the project alone. Few months down the road, when shit hits the fan, he just message me this is not working.
First of all, I did not write that shit, and also I was never part of the conversation during the decision making. So when shit hits the fan what do you expect me to do? Do some black magic and fix it magically???1 -
Ok, so teacher (which should be something like a professional dev or whatever) assigned us a homework for a Christmas (I dont care, I can complete his assignments in like 10 minutes max). We have to do some simple shit in C++, just some loops and input + output. Nothing hard. He challenged me to write it as short as possible, so I did. My classmates have codes around 60 to 70 lines long (after propper formating). I made it 20 lines long using some pointer magic and stuff like that. I tried my code, it ran fucking perfectly, so I sent that to him. He replied that the code does not work. I tried to recompile it and it ran perfectly. Again, it does not work. Afeter 13 fucking emails he fucking finally sent me the error message. Some fucntion was not found (missing some library but literally everywhere else it works without it...). Thats strange, because it run perfectly on my Fedora with CLion, so I switch to Windows and try to run same code in Visual Studio (which we are using in school btw). Works perfectly. So I start arguing with the teacher more and more. I tried around 10 online compilers. Works fuckng everywhere. Teacher is pissed, me too. So I rewrote my whole code, added comments and shit, reinvented wheel literally everywhere. Now I have C99 standardised code over 370 lines long that run even on a fucking arduino after changing input output methods so it can work with it. It (suprisingly runs) on his PC too.
After a bit more arguing, he said that he is using CodeBlocks from fucking 2015. Wow. Just fucking wow. Even our school has some old Visual Studio (2007 I guess) and it worked there.6 -
Today a junior dev from the company I'm working at as consultant, suddenly shouted:
😤"why the hell my software behaves differently on every pc here in the office ... But it works on my machine? I'm sure there's something wrong with the OS/Framework"
🤔 let me think for a moment ...
* is it because the whole office keep developing like the ancient romans did?
* is it because that software is such a mess that requires a wizard in order to manually change all the magic configuration strings ?
* is it because every damn developer there has his particular environment and the word "container" reminds you only the show where the people bid for unclaimed shit ?
* is it because the "guru" at your company decided it was a super cool idea to wrap EVERY single external library (that just works out of the box) into some obscure static helper without even a single trace of documentation and clue of what's wrong?
🤗"I don't know... Must be a bug in the OS or framework for sure" -
Microsoft Teams can burn.
Who the fuck thought it would be an excellent workflow, when you want to COLLABORATE IN TEAMS between users in different domains, that each sorry bastard needs to manually log in to a second Teams tenant and loose all the context from their main Teams tenant !?
On random occasions the fucking authentication token expires. I send messages to my team mate in another domain. Three days later I am pissed off because they don't answer. It turns out their authentication token has expired so when they are on their main tenant they don't get any notifications before they manually log in to our tenant as a guest. HOW FUCKING GREAT IS THAT AS A NOTIFICATION SYSTEM ??!
Would it be that fucking difficult to maintain a notification bar with all tenants and note with an exclamation mark or something REALLY FUCKING SIMPLE to hint about an expired token ? It's not like this is magic, Slack does it already.
FUCK !7 -
Just pushed a 400+ line stored procedure in production. It's fucking magic and is probably never gonna be touched because no one will understand it and because "it works".5
-
I just fixed my first code issue in my first IT job ever! Holy fucking shit I'm almost senior software engineer by now!
That magic joy of knowing that my instructions will run on someone else's computer is just mind-blowing. -
A well written script is a lot like a spell.
You invoke it and well stuff( magic to few 😋 ) happens.
The resemblance is uncanny!
Well, off to the Wizarding world of IT Devops then.2 -
Not entirely sure if should be said an IT company but yes I would mention SHAREit.
The well known file sharing software, I remember using it most of the times for file sharing between my Android devices, it previously was only meant for "File Sharing" but now they're just more into ads, video recommendations, news etc etc "useless stuffs".
I mean who the hell in this world would like to open a file sharing app for trending WhatsApp video recommendations? Getting notifications in a language unknown to me? Who has even asked you all for this.
I know ads gives you profit but atleast not the trending movies and all for a file sharing app.
It was good overall in the start but now not they're not working in a way they used to.
PS: image below is a SHAREit notification for someone doing black magic on a kid. See, stupid stuff! not even a news to be read just fake stuff. Atleast show some serious ads or else just rollback to your previous version.7 -
is it just me, or do some people just make life difficult for the fucking sake of making life difficult?
now, lets ignore the lack of sanitised data, lets also ignore the lack of prepared statements, and for the love of god... lets ignore some magic numbers, because I still don't know what they mean yet....
but why! why would you create an array, implode it, smash it into a database query on the fucking fly, instead of just adding the data into the query in the first place.... it's not like you were doing this right to begin with, but this... this is next level!28 -
tl;dr:
The Debian 10 live disc and installer say: Heavens me, just look at the time! I’m late for my <segmentation fault
—————
tl:
The Debian 10 live cd and its new “calamares” installer are both complete crap. I’ve never had any issues with installing Debian prior to this, save with getting WiFi to work (as expected). But this version? Ugh. Here are the things I’ve run into:
Unknown root password; easy enough to get around as there is no user password; still annoying after the 10th time.
Also, the login screen doesn’t work off-disc because it won’t accept a blank password, so don’t idle or you’ll get locked out.
The lock screen is overzealous and hard-locks the computer after awhile; not even the magic kernel keys work!
The live disc doesn’t have many standard utilities, or a graphical partition editor. Thankfully I’m comfortable with fdisk.
The graphical installer (calamares) randomly segfaults, even from innocuous things like clicking [change partition] when you don’t have a partition selected. Derp.
It also randomly segfaults while writing partitions to disk — usually on the second partition.
It strangely seems less likely to segfault if the partitions are already there, even if it needs to “reformat” (recreate) them.
It also defaults to using MBR instead of GPT for the partition table, despite the tooltip telling you that MBR is deprecated and limited, and that GPT is recommended for new systems. You cannot change this without doing the partitions manually.
If you do the partitions manually and it can’t figure out where to install things, it just crashes. This is great because you can’t tell it where to install things, and specifying mount points like /boot, /, and /home don’t seem to be enough.
It also tries installing 32bit grub instead of 64bit, causing the grub installer to fail.
If you tell it to install grub on /boot, it complains when that partition isn’t encrypted — fair — but if you tell it to encrypt /boot like it wants you to, it then tries installing grub on the encrypted partition it just created, apparently without decrypting it, so that obviously fails — specific error: cannot read file system.
On the rare chance that everything else goes correctly, the install process can still segfault.
The log does include entries for errors, but doesn’t include an error message. Literally: “ERROR: Installation failed:” and the log ends. Helpful!
If the installer doesn’t segfault and the install process manages to complete, the resulting install might not even boot, even when installed without any drive encryption. Why? My guess is it never bothered to install Grub, or put it in the wrong place, or didn’t mark it as bootable, or who knows what.
Even when using the live disc that includes non-free firmware (including Ath9k) it still cannot detect my wlan card (that uses Ath9k).
I’ve attempted to install thirty plus times now, and only managed to get a working install once — where I neglected to include the Ath9k firmware.
I’m now trying the cli-only installer option instead of the live session; it seems to behave at least. I’m just terrified that the resulting install will be just as unstable as the live session.
All of this to copy the contents of my encrypted disks over so I can use them on a different system. =/
I haven’t decided which I’m going with next, but likely Arch, Void, or Gentoo. I’d go with Qubes if I had more time to experiment.
But in all seriousness, the Debian devs need some serious help. I would be embarrassed if I released this quality of hot garbage.
(This same system ran both Debian 8 and 9 flawlessly for years)15 -
For me the best of being a dev was described by Fred Brooks in his "The Mythical Man-Month":
...The programmer, like the poet, works only slightly removed from pure thought-stuff. He builds his castles in the air, from air, creating by exertion of the imagination. Few media of creation are so flexible, so easy to polish and rework, so readily capable of realizing grand conceptual structures....
Yet the program construct, unlike the poet's words, is real in the sense that it moves and works, producing visible outputs separate from the construct itself. […] The magic of myth and legend has come true in our time. One types the correct incantation on a keyboard, and a display screen comes to life, showing things that never were nor could be...
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/...1 -
The internet is expensive as hell compared with salaries, we can't access to services like amazon, google cloud, gitlab, private github, Android, and a lot more because of USA sanctions (we have to do some magic and sorcery to use them), and in the other hand our government applys restrictive laws (we call it the double embargo) like that one who says that you can't host services for the country with international providers, and the only national hosting provider has a terrible, feature-less and super expensive service. But hey, we like a lot what we do!!
- Cuba11 -
Bloody Windows kept waking up after a few seconds of being suspended. Someone here mentioned it could be the mouse, so I disabled its function to wake the pc . And you know what? That piece of trash windows still kept waking up for no reason. Makes me angry.
So I found this magic command 'powercfg/lastwake', which shows the reason for the last wake. And look at that! The fucking realtek network shitcard is allowed to wake windows.
Why would windows enable that on its own? Why? Because I for sure did not make this change and suspend was working for me until a few months ago (yes, these kind of problems take me very long to fix, even though it would tske only two minutes).3 -
Rant!
Been working on 'MVP' features of a new product for the past 14 months. Customer has no f**king clue on how to design for performance. An uncomfortable amount of faith was placed on the ORM (ORMs are not bad as long as you know what you are doing) and the magic that the current framework provides. (Again, magic is good so long as you understand what happens behind the smoke and mirrors - but f**k all that... coz hey, productivity, right?). Customer was so focussed on features that no one ever thought of giving any attention to subtler things like 'hey, my transaction is doing a gazillion joins across trizillion tables while making a million calls to the db - maybe I should put more f**king thought into my design.' We foresaw performance and concurrency issues and raised them way ahead of the release. How did the customer respond? By hiring a performance tester. Fair enough - but what did that translate into? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Hiring a perf tester doesn't automagically fix issues. The perf tester did not have a stable environment, a stable build or anything that is required to do a test with meaningful results. As the release date approached, the customer launched a pilot and things started failing spectacularly with the system not able to support more than 15 concurrent users. WTF! (My 'I told you so' moment) Emails started flying in all directions and the hunt for the scapegoat was on (I'm a sucker for CYA so I was covered). People started pointing in all directions but no one bothered to take a step back and understand what was causing the issues. Numero uno reason for transaction failure was deadlocks. We were using a proprietary DB with kickass tooling. No one bothered to use the tooling to understand what was the resource in contention let alone how to fix the contention. Absolute panic - its like they just froze. Debugging shit and doing the same thing again and again just so that management knew they were upto something. Most of the indexes had a fragmentation of 99.8% - I shit you not. Anywho, we now have a 'war room' where the perf tester needs to script the entire project by tonight and come up with some numbers that will amount to nothing while we stay up and keep profiling the shit out of the application under load.
Lessons learnt - When you foresee a problem make a LOT of noise to get people to act upon it and not wait till it comes back and bites you in the ass. Better yet, try not to get into a team where people can't understand the implications of shitty design choices. War room my ass!3 -
!rant
The more I learn about advanced C++ the more I love this language. C++'s template system is so insanely cool!
Just made a proof of concept expression templates based linear algebra library for my own projects. It was actually a lot of fun to make, and seeing it spit out optimized, loop-fused code with no temporary variables...magic.
Long live C++.7 -
Me: 16? What is this magic number? Why don't you create a constant for it?
Colleague: We do like that first for now. We'll definitely come back to improve it later when we have time.4 -
As a guy who really just started his web development life I just say the most fun I have is clicking the refresh button ( or npm does it for me ) and seeing my magic work, unless it doesn't and then I press again , maybe this time it will ..2
-
"… people in the newspaper industry saw the web as a newspaper. People in TV saw the web as TV, and people in book publishing saw it as a weird kind of potential book. But the web is not just some kind of magic all-absorbing meta-medium. It’s its own thing." - Paul Ford
-
This fcktard client that insist on using an iframe and demands support for browsers like IE7. You are costing me years of my life.
Fucking fuck of a Microsoft trying to protect people against tracking from 3d parties in an iframe in random ways in some versions of IE7. Or IE11 in IE7 compatibility mode.
If you are going to refuse sessions just do it! I got a fucking check and fix for that. Because these fuck faces friendly people at Apple like to refuse sessions on iPads and iPhone too. But we worked that out, because they are at least consistent. So a few dirty little hacks made it all Okay.
But no, Boo Hoo I'm Microsoft and I will throw a tantrum. I like my browsers to be like an magican, instead of an usefull piece of software. If you look in this page, or look here we got them. I got your sessions, safe and secure.
But when you need me, to verify that the user is allowed to access data we do a little hocus pocus and now they are gone. Nowhere to be seen or found again. Fun times free fucking magic shows all day long.
It's morning but maybe its time for a bottle of scotch. Maybe if I'm in the state as this browser. Where I don't know what I'm doing because I'm shitfaced drunk it will start working.
When in Rome do as the romans do.6 -
Have you ever been pair coding with someone who uses shotgun debugging? I am about to claw my eyes out! What is shotgun debugging you ask?
Code doesn't work... What do we do?
I start thinking about possible flow, how to go back to what works, where to insert debugging statements. My partner interrupts my thought and says - what if we change this variable name?
...uh what?
What if that fixes it
It won't!
Well how do you know if you don't try?
I change the variable name - of course nothing works and now I forgot the possible solution I was thinking about...
Starting over... I again start coming close to the idea... Interrupts me again. What if we comment out this random line?
Why what's your reasoning?
Answer: *Shrug* idk might work...
...rinse and repeat
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???!
I literally started muting my computer sound so I can not hear him while I think and that helps tremendously. This is programming not magic, people!!! Stop throwing random "what if" suggestions!13 -
Will try to keep that one short.
So we have internal system for active QR codes, nothing really special, as you could imagine. I wrote it when I was beginner but it works and is heavly battle-tested.
Today JBOG (just bunch of guys) come in and try to BS me that something is showing up wrongly for someone.
I check things up, nothing looks out of the order, I go there, everything looks fine too, and they say that yeah but this printed certificate's QR dosen't match what some QR with this name is within the system...
Short invastigation. TL;DR, someone who was rendering/printing these certificates had bunch of these codes with names like
30. ABC
31. ABC
32. ABC
And just casually missclicked...
And to come to that conclusion they need fucking backend dev to confirm that code last 1.5 year didnt magically change, and to destroy their magical belief that it's code's fault.
No, someone fucking missclicked. Whole magic. Usually problem is between chair and keyboard, get fucking used to it. Now, having that settled, let me get back to my work. -
At work we have a....err....pool of usefulness awareness situation.
You see. The school does not know all that me and the lead developer does. Our head of department does. Our manager used to do(fore she left) but as far as the rest of the 2 fucking campuses are concerned, all of our shit works through magical dwarves that live inside the servers in our server rooms.
Normally, we are fine with this. But whenever one of us misses, or decides to take the day off and some shit hits the fan...THEN and only then do our users know what we do.
So we have a "pool" of items that seem to be picked every time one of us is not there. The more it gets picked, the more people are aware of us, the more they figure out what we do...the more they start to ask for customization and shit like that.
Such a funny situation. Wonder if this will get in the way of friday morning coffee and magic the Gathering at the office.
Or me and the cms admin playing videogames together.
Oh well -
C is like an obsidian razor. Extremely sharp tool, immense power with immense responsibility. You can make art and you can make bloody mess.
Clojure is like a magic rainbow mist. You accept it and it's pure chrysalis, everything is good, everything is fine. You feel cared about, you feel like nothing can hurt you.
Bash is like feeling your stepdad's finger inside your asshole. Shame and shame again combined with extreme perception of wrongdoing that lead to nothing but psychological trauma.1 -
I am a person who never lies. And when I see/hear others lie, be it for the benefit of mine or not, it gets my blood boiling. I disrespect liers with passion.
And I particularly hate magic fixes at work. You know the ones, when smth is not working for a few weeks, you involve 3 other teams responsible for their tiers, and then one day suddenly everything starts working. When you ask all the 3 tiers what has been done - everyone says "nothing".
If you do this bullshit to me, just know that everytime I remember you, before remembering your name/face/role I very vividly visualize pissing on your toothbrush right before you wake up.
Or did I do that for real..? Idk, it's too vivid to distinguish2 -
idk if I´m getting better in coding or Android Studio is using some "black magic" but after working on a project for like 2 hours it compiled without any error.2
-
Apart from having a baby which is the hardest in the world,i think the hardest project is to learn to code.
I studied philosophy and anthropology but gamed a lot. Me and a good mate decided to work together and he told me hed teach me coding.
The guy is a genius but he is a reckless rebel genius who tells everybody to fuck off.
So,after 1 year in a half of intense coding where i had to learn linux, networks, and im not shitting you html and css as well and of course javascript.
He has now put me on, for the last 2 month, in charge of our front end backoffice. I have to design forms that do the right http requests,do the unit testing, play with redux-form, react-redux and he has thrown me into the basic java backend so i can begin working with entites and how i serve the data and link it to the database and even create tables.
Every time i fail hemakes me remake everything.
I actually came on devrant to study the dev community (i always gamed a lot but this is a whole different community). The dev community is pretty awesome and unique.
Anyhow, i remember when i saw him as me to complete an exercise and i didnt event know which words were the reserved language ones and those i could use myself. It was like fucking magic.3 -
3 hours...
3 damn hours for 200 lines of bash code.
Exorcism, Magic I don't care.... But please make a special person never touching bash programming again.
I ripped my hairs out. Really.
Till I realized someone wrote functions with _logical_ return true codes as numbers.
0 - as logical false, for failure
1 - as logical true, for success
Leading my brain into a severe segfault fun.
Why... Oh why.
Second fun part as I corrected that...
Someone wasn't fond of exit codes at all.
Script is now 86 % rewritten....
God damn it, if you don't like a languages fine.
But inverting core logic should give a free trip to the electrical chair.1 -
Mentors, take note. This is a best practice over here.
I've spent two days digging through obscure documentation trying to accomplish one of those tasks that is simple in word and complex in deed. Namely, I wanted to concatenate (not delete) near-duplicate values in Pandas before rendering the data into a graph. Two days beating my head against the wall.
One of my mentors (I'm an intern) heard about the issue, wrote in the proper line (a very specifically and archaically formatted command), and pushed it to repo without even asking for thanks. Works like a charm and he saved my rear end. What a guy.
Please, mentors, don't leave your interns hanging on problems where the only solution is shrouded in dubious documentation and magic syntax. Especially when there's a deadline involved. Let them struggle on logic flow and writing good code.
Be like this guy. You'll build the importance of teamwork and your intern will think you're a wizard.2 -
People caught using emojis in code should be driven into the sea.
Otherwise one day its gonna just be straight magic, without reason or understanding.
You're gonna type a bunch of moon runes into a glowing floaty interface, pour the blood of a chicken into a collector tray (totally not a pentagram) and "shit just happens" (tm).
And "scholars" (neckbeards) will spend all their time shape-in-wrong-hole idiocracy-style button mashing their mystical ouija board IDEs in the grim dark future, looking for combinations that do something useful.
Every time it glows red? Compile error.
Every time it glows green? Christmas is near, congrats it compiled.
Every time it sets off a mystical air siren (henceforth known as "fusrohdah"), runtime error. And probably explosions.
In the grim dark future of Apple 40k. A.D, there is only war, warp demons, and pending VSCode updates.11 -
Different perspective.
So your friend wants you to make the next big Facebook or Google because they know you can code....lots of rants like that and it gets me as well when I'm fixing printers for family and friends. Thing is these people genuinely just want to do something cool and succeed so they can have a good life. They see what we can do and wish they had the same talent. They have an idea they think will be great, they don't know what we know, and they don't know that it could be the most amazing thing ever and still never take off.
They don't realize to be Facebook or Google you have to sell out your values, morals, and soul. They just think if we can code we should be millionaires. So on that philosophy after just over a year the devRant creators should be rolling in cash right? But pretty sure I saw they are still operating at a loss.
I'd love to be able to have the time to work with each of them, teach them, and guide them through that first failure and let down of realizing that coding doesn't buy a magic ticket to a new life.
// Like anyone ever really fixes a printer //2 -
Got my wife a new Roku stick, which we needed and she was very excited about. She asked me to set it up. I said it might take a little while. She said she didn't mind.
Setup was easy and straightforward, but of course involved pairing the actual device with its remote. Then I had to create an account on the computer, since the previous device was her sister's.
It was at this point when she got mad, like really mad, that setting up a new device had to be "so complicated." Okay, first off, this is the happy path. Absolutely nothing went wrong, couldn't ask for better. Second, I told you it might take a little while, and it hasn't even been 5 minutes. This, I even asked you to make sure you wanted to do this now. And you're not even doing it, I am. Which I don't mind, but don't get mad at me that it's not literally magic.8 -
About a year ago, I started a new position as a Full Stack Java Developer. When I started my employer got me a brand new, shiny, Asus laptop. As I prefer Linux (mint) to perform my magic I had to whipe Windows 10 and reinstall it. It turned out that my new shiny laptop was in fact so shiny that Linux (mint) didn't support/contain all the necessary drivers (yet), especially the network/bluetooth drivers and the gfx's drivers turned out a bit of a pain.. Over the year things slowly got better with every new kernel update that came in. However, due to me trying to fix things before those updates, Linux also had become somewhat unstable.
So ... last week I took some time to re-install that laptop and also take the opportunity to upgrade from Linux mint 18 to Linux mint 19 ... or so I thought ... Linux mint 19 was running (very) hot to the point where the laptop would shutdown due to the MOBO's thermal protection mechanims kicking in. ... Ok ...maybe Linux mint 19 was not such a good choice .... let's see if Ubuntu 18.04 is an option ... Nope ... Linux would lock up within a minute after booting up ... no mouse, no keyboard ... nothing. .... *sigh* ... let's (re)install Linux Mint 18.3 again ... and behold, I can start performing magic again.
Linux, it can be such a pain at times. I still prefer it, but running into all those 'weird' things on my laptop when reinstalling, I have to admit I have seriously considered 'just' installing windows 10 again and be done with it. Luckily I could also remind myself of what a pain Windows is to do serious docker/java development in comparison to Linux which gave me the strength to keep going ... :)6 -
Wow...lets a minute to appreciate the unsung hero's that revolted and went on to lead and win the battle against IE6.**shiver**
https://blog.chriszacharias.com/a-c...
The majority of you will not understand or be able to appreciate the gravity and extent their actions had on improving quality of life for web developers globally... that is the true gift & legacy of their noble deeds.
and yes it was that bad... no, actually it was even worse - the best words i can use to describe (attempting) development in IE6 is that it felt like we were imprisoned in the software equivalent of a concentration camp where they had perfected the cruellest form of torture, where they allowed us to develop amazing next level experiences in modern browsers just so they could watch all hope drain from our faces as we were forced to destroy them, tearing out the magic in the name of IE6.10 -
Kotlin support on Android:
i never liked Java, not because of the language but for the usual bad design implementations and Android is one of those.
Then Kotlin arrived, it looked very promising but it's when i looked at Coroutines that it simply blew my mind:
you just have to write your code and the Kotlin's compliler "magic" will do most of the boring/complex stuff for you and it's even great performance wise!
I even refactored inter-process calls to simple sync functions with few like of code and for a non-android developer like me it's just love at first sight!3 -
My Unicorns 🦄.
If you look at the picture you will see more than one and there is a funny story behind them. About three years ago I was talking about a new project and I wanted to call it the Magic API, however I work for a religious organization and they said that it would be a problem to call it that. So I said what the hell how about unicorn? They said that would probably be okay. Then I saw that Microsoft had unicorn tags for their developers so it has been my thing ever since then.
So Unicorns it is. 🦄4 -
I can agree to shit when presented with hardcore data, data that proves me otherwise. But when people go by opinions and then hold is a truth because of "many feel the same way" I cannot help but to giggle a bit.
Most issues I have found with programming stacks come from opinions rather than hard presented data, if a bunch of people dislike a tool, but it delivers, I get to differ two things: (1) it is bad but it performs as needed, but it is bad because of design problems etc, (2) some dude made a post concerning why he things is bad and sheep mentality follows.
If technologies were without merit, then we would have all discarded C++ a long time ago cuz Linus disliked it, a powerful programmer indeed, but a FOCUSED one, meaning, one that deals with 1 domain (kernel development)
Do I care about what Linus things about web development? No, lol, he is a better kernel developer than I am, but I highly, grossly doubt that he knows enough about web development to give me something to think about.
all languages have faults, regardless of what point of view we look at them, but completely disregarding a tech stack because of shit that you saw some fucktard wrote about, benefits and otherwise, just seems....well...sheepish, there might very well be a tech stack out there that covers everything, to me it is a mixture of things, and I use them as I please and feel like, but this is because after years of learning I have read about quirks and pitfalls and how to avoid them. I would suggest you all do the same, by you all I mean those of high opinions that can't be deflected.
This field is far too wide and concentrated to go head and think about absolutes when even the fundamental mathematical theory concerning computer science is not absolute whatsoever, it is akin to magic, shit works, but it might not, the incantation might be right, but circuits and electricity have a way of telling us to go fuck ourselves, so do architectures, specifically ones based on physics.3 -
It is said that the number of programmers doubles every five years with fresh CS, CE, and EE grads. Assuming that's true, then at any one time over half the developer community are novices in the early stages of their career.
My entire life's been spent in software and I've been in it now for about 15 years and I've seen a lot of people make alot of things and I've seen a lot of people fail at alot of things. My observation is that the doers are the major thinkers, the people that really create the things that change this industry are both the thinker doer in one person. It's very easy to take credit for the thinking the doing is more concrete. It's very easy for somebody say "oh, I thought of this three years ago" but usually when you dig a little deeper you find that the people that really did it. Were also the people that really worked through the hard intellectual problems.
Many people falsely believe that a great idea constitutes 90% of the work. However, there is a significant amount of craftsmanship required to bridge the gap between a great idea and a great product. As you evolve that great idea it changes and grows it never comes out like it starts because you learn a lot more as you get into the subtleties of it and you also find there's tremendous amount of trade-offs that you have to make.
There are certain things you can't make electrons do, certain things you can't make plastic or glass, certain things you can't make factories or robots do. and as you get into all these things, Designing a product involves juggling 5,000 different concepts, fitting them together like puzzle pieces, and exploring new ways to combine them. Every day brings new challenges and opportunities to push the boundaries of what's possible, and it's this ongoing process that is the key to successful product development. That process is the "magic"4 -
PM asked me to make the code deeper, here's the new load script:
//Someone is born (init script and load deps, also run it)
$life = new begin_life();
//magic happens (generate random token)
$life->Living = openssl_random_pseudo_bytes(rand(), TRUE);
//We end it all
$life->die();3 -
!Rant
Hello devRant!!
Just released a small little app to share links to your PC directly from your device (Linker).
It uses a Java server running on your PC so there are no middle-men. Everything is open source and on my GitHub.
It's currently in alpha. Basically:
1. Run server on your PC (no UI ATM so run in a console) - defaults: 0.0.0.0:8090
2. Add the server IP-Port in the Android app
3. Share a link from any app through linker
4. Magic 😎
Below are the links if anyone likes the idea and wants to try it out (UI is crap I know! - I had very little time to work on it)
Become tester:
https://play.google.com/apps/...
App:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...15 -
My parents think everything i do on the computer is magic. Theyre too scared to toich any of my stuff because I convinced them it records live video and biometrics to my phone.
Sometimes life is good -
There is something so comfy about Java that I never get from other languages.
I don't know why but I genuinely enjoy writing 200 lines of boilerplate code. Maybe it makes me feel I am in control and not some syntactic magic like in Python or Javascript.
People keep ranting on java, yet it lives on.2 -
I wrote an auth today.
Without frameworks. Without dependencies. Without under-the-hood magic. Without abstract pluggable adaptor modules for the third-party auth library with 63 vulnerabilities and 1252 GitHub issues. Without security vulnerabilities showing up in NPM log. Without dependency of a dependency of a dependency using md5 and Math.random() under the hood for historical reasons, and now we're fucked, because this is the only lib for our framework, and we have no time to write our own replacement. Without all that shit.
Rock-solid, on top of scrypt. Stateless and efficient.
It felt amazing.9 -
Am I the only one who enjoys learning low languages like C/C++ and absolutely hate Java (seriously FUCK Java so much I hate using it)
Working with pointers and just having the compiler completely explode in your face because you forgot a semicolon or an index out of bounds maybe a bracket just disappeared and you are frustrated but then you fix it and voila it works like magic.
Maybe it's just a thing of mine because C++ was the first programming language I learned and I miss this feeling of hopelessness (I think I might have done BDSM fetishes) and it makes me feel nostalgic.
When I was first learning them all I thought about was how cool this stuff is.19 -
can we all take a moment to appreciate the developers of flutter. they're smart, and they took the time to make flutter the *right* way.
they used an easy to learn language that's ideal for mobile development, which means hot reload/restart is possible (because dart supports aot and jit compilation)
the way it's designed is beautiful. everything is a widget, and it's easy to customize them via named parameters.
the community is great. it's not large, but it's supportive, with two active subreddits. yesterday i asked a question on r/flutterdev, and a member of the flutter team at google answered the question with a comprehensive answer.
flutter is very consistent across platforms. if it works on android or ios, you can bet it'll work on the other just as well, with the exception of platform-specific code.
it is VERY performant. unless you write a major bottleneck, 60fps is easy to achieve.
animations are EASY. define a tween and animation controller and then write a callback function. not to mention it's straightforward, and complex/combined animations are easy, too.
you can get almost direct access to the canvas, should you need it, with custompainter.
oh my god, this is revolutionary in the programming world. development is quicker than it is with native android alone, and for people who have no access to a mac, like me, i can develop for ios and compile via code magic. if you haven't checked it out and you develop for mobile, check it out.
oh yeah, did i mention it's not just mobile. hummingbird - flutter compiled to web - is already in experimental public betas, and will likely be released by the end of the year. there's also experimental desktop support, which is amazing, and much better than electron. not to mention flutter is the future, as it will be the primary way to make apps on fuchsia os.13 -
So the group announced a merge of several systems into my platform. Growing it from 5000 sites to 75000. Lead time of a year, time enough to build it properly, finish the split of the current monolith into microservices, make it fast.
Suddenly, they reduced the time to three months, no explanation given. Solution is to keep the current PHP shit pile, but "scale" it using magic hardware or something. Oh and add 258 features, including things like "intuitive navigation" and "progressive web app" which some junior PM wannabe got off wikipedia or something.
And my boss has bent over to these morons and basically said yes, instead of informing them that this is a fool's errand.
Fuck em. I've said that they're nuts, and if they force the issue, I will resign. And my team probably will too.
But first I will take an inconveniently timed holiday.2 -
Well what an adventure with this SSD...😑
my sis' laptop is from 2013-ish(?) and has/had a slow HDD in it. I wanted to speed it up, before her study, so I bought a new internal SSD (no new laptop wanted).
Created a bootable USB, exchanged the hard drives and install the OS on it. Seems easy enough...
The laptop restarts to finish its process ... laptop shuts down immediately, no warning whatsoever. 😳🤨
Start it up, loading screen, fan gets louder and louder ... instant shut down.😳🤨🤨.
Redo process, this time landing on blue-screen, error code critical process died? ... instant shut down again.🤔
Restart from old HDD, normal.😐
Retry with boot USB and reinstall SSD. Setup process copying files, meanwhile instant shut down.😳 Please don't tell me!😩 Since every part of the laptop was working, except the new inserted SSD, I thought "FUCK not a broken SSD!😣"
I had my own PC with internal SSD slot, so tried to find out, whether it would be broken...
All starting up fine??🤨🤨
Ok then? Finish the setup for the third time now ... everything up and running.😐🤷
Normal shut down, unplug, plug back onto laptop, it works. HOW?? WHY?? 😕
Why the fuck are you suddenly working? 😐🤷🤷🤷
That's some magic...5 -
Ah, developers, the unsung heroes of caffeine-fueled coding marathons and keyboard clacking symphonies! These mystical beings have a way of turning coffee and pizza into lines of code that somehow make the world go 'round.
Have you ever seen a developer in their natural habitat? They huddle in dimly lit rooms, surrounded by monitors glowing like magic crystals. Their battle cries of "It works on my machine!" echo through the corridors, as they summon the mighty powers of Stack Overflow and Google to conquer bugs and errors.
And let's talk about the coffee addiction – it's like they believe caffeine is the elixir of code immortality. The way they guard their mugs, you'd think it's the Holy Grail. In fact, a developer without coffee is like a computer without RAM – it just doesn't function properly.
But don't let their nerdy exteriors fool you. Deep down, they're dreamers. They dream of a world where every line of code is bug-free and every user is happy. A world where the boss understands what "just one more line of code" really means.
Speaking of bosses, developers have a unique ability to turn simple requests into complex projects. "Can you make a small tweak?" the boss asks innocently. And the developer replies, "Sure, it's just a minor change," while mentally calculating the time it'll take and the potential for scope creep.
Let's not forget their passion for acronyms. TLA (Three-Letter Acronym) is their second language. API, CSS, HTML, PHP, SQL... it's like they're playing a never-ending game of Scrabble with abbreviations.
And documentation? Well, that's their arch-nemesis. It's as if writing clear instructions is harder than debugging quantum mechanics. "The code is self-explanatory," they claim, leaving everyone else scratching their heads.
In the end, developers are a quirky bunch, but we love them for it. Their quirks and peculiarities are what make them the creative, brilliant minds that power our digital world. So here's to developers, the masters of logic and the wizards of the virtual realm!13 -
When you are the only web developer of the company... You do front, backend for the website, web development jobs which come every time for stopping you to work on the 3 websites that you have to build. Every sites and database are different that's something that my boss don't understand I cannot include stuff just like that with my magic power because i have already done it. And of course the two designers of the company have the time to spend an hour for a colour. Well a week to build a 15 custom pages website with something which is close to the CRM for the back is not enough. Not enough when you also have to spent 2 hours each day on management stuff because there is 20 hosted website and the clients need support... Stressed and pissed off.2
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a very polite recruiter in linkedin after our connection asked me why i choose this kind of career. I answered this and i hope i did not ranted a lot :)
i was trying to figure out what profession would make me more happy than others. I was always felt comfortable with computers, i was installing cracked games, exploring folders to paste the cracks etc. later in school when i learned the first algorithms like bubblesort i was knowing that i liked it. I also like working in silence while searching for solutions. That is the first part, the second is that i made a search about what industries would give me a safer future and international opportunities without having to be stuck in my country only. By working and getting more experience i felt in love with my job and trying to learn everything i missed and give to my boss or customers professional results with quality. I like it as a lifestyle, it combines a magic feeling of spells with the logical procedures of science. So why not? it combines all my loves together: creative thinking, technology, mental work, internet, music at the workflow, job demand, opportunities, and money! I hope i helped you my friend i am at your service for every question you have :)11 -
Worked on a WordPress Multisite project that required digging around to find ways to hook into areas that weren’t meant to be hooked, create and add custom core files that would withstand updates, ensure certain plugin capabilities were available even if the current site didn’t load them, and a variety of other black magic that I’m too fried to remember off the top of my head.
By the end of the project I more or less felt like a god in WordPress—There’s little I could ever want to get it to do that I didn’t know how to do.
Then again, this is all probably a long way of saying I learned some very bad ways to do things. Mercifully, it’s fully documented with PHPdoc blocks down to the loop level so that even a 3-year-old should be able to figure out the logic...
All this to say, I’m definitely ready for a new project.3 -
Anyone who says/thinks software development is just piece of cake and these IT guys have magic wands should be quarantined for the rest of their lives. :-/6
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There is a constructed language called Tokipona. It was made to be the easiest language, and it only contains like 137 words or so.
This language is a perfect demonstration of “expressivity”. Tokipona is not very expressive. Before you know it, your sentence is obscenely long, and you didn't even convey the full meaning of what you wanted to say.
It's also the case with “easy” programming languages and frameworks. Code quantities rise exponentially, and the more code you have, the more bugs there are. There is no magic. And then you have to debug it. Not so easy, huh?9 -
It is not on production anymore, but it was for long enough. Someone thought it would be a great idea to be able to debug a web app while signed in as a user reporting a problem. How to do it? It's easy. Just check on every request if magic HTTP parameter SIGN_IN_AS=id is present and if it is, sign in as this user. Of course, it worked also with admin account with hard-to-guess id=1.1
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Just watched Avatar 2 in 3D 4DX. This is hands down the movie of the year. Might as well be the movie of all movies. 3 hours of watching and going through emotional rollercoaster and havent been bored. It keeps attention. It was so beautiful. The scenes the scenario the plot the CGI. Everything. I can't believe someone made this. I dont understand how this is possible to be made. How can i come back to this reality now? It felt like i was there, in the movie. A beautiful alien world with magic, life with actual meaning, nature, the wonders of universe. Life can be so much broader than our reality. I know it's just a movie and that reality doesn't really exist. But anything you can imagine or visualize means it can exist. Somewhere out there in this infinitely large universe. Out there in some galaxy light years away or ago. This movie is a brutal masterpiece. This is art. It reminds me to be thankful for what i have. Grateful for who i have. And gave me more reason to withstand the darkest days. Because if i work hard and succeed i might end up in a universe like Avatar. At one point in time as a life form. Somewhere... more meaningful than working like a slave and paying taxes to pedophiles and criminals in our current reality. Beautiful.8
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GIT COMMMIT LOG VERSION 011
-------------------------
4cc7d0d Derp, asset redirection in dev mode
6b6e213 Lock S-foils in attack position
1e44549 I am even stupider than I thought
2f6bec9 You should have trusted me.
891851a To those I leave behind, good luck!
3367d77 Update .gitignore
46d6b0f Merging the merge
b12f6fe First Blood
0598e4f 8==========D
9151ff4 Finished fondling.
3a0ec1e ...
8358c20 c&p fail
bc1e834 magic, have no clue but it works
31bb17a I don't get paid enough for this shit.
21edb91 :(:(
7a71610 Stephen rebase plx?
2060661 Copy-paste to fix previous copy-paste
21ac5d2 Handled a particular error.
2dedd90 pam anderson is going to love me.
c3d4c83 omg what have I done?
d38bafd Herping the derp derp (silly scoping error)
e461773 Merge pull request #67 from Lazersmoke/fix-andys-shit Fix andys shit
1faf82b Is there an award for this?
1f6e3f3 Feed. You. Stuff. No time.
6f0097d I'm too old for this shit!
133179e I'm just a grunt. Don't blame me for this awful PoS.
d3e5202 harharhar
57d9a7c THE MEM TEST FUNCTION YOU ARE LOOKING FOR, IS HERE. SAY THANKS FOR THIS COMMIT MESSAGE -
On your standard epitome of being a geek, I started to show my coworkers how to play Cardfight Vanguard, a TCG since we all love TCG's (we play Magic, Pokemon and a few others) and we had made Friday our official "TCG or Board Game" day.
List of games we have played:
Star Wars CCG (dear lord this game is BEAUTIFUL shame it is no longer being published)
Magic the Gathering, we have a love hate relationship with this game, mana plays a big reason as to why we do not fully love it, it sucks getting stuck with no possibility of drawing proper mana.
Pokemon - Easy to get into, easy to play, there is nt much more to say, by far, our favorite in terms of how much money we can make out of selling rare cards that we do not use.
Dice Masters - My Personal favorite, and I am also the undisputed champion of our group
Cardfight Vanguard is my current favorite, very tactical in a lot of ways, luck of the draw hits in a funny way, I feel it is properly balanced, not much bullshit ass rules or mana issues. Reminds me of Duel Masters, I used to LOVE that Game, but Wizards of the Coast and the anime fucked it up so well....
Anyone here likes playing card games?4 -
Why is web development such a headache?
I'm writing a responsive wesbite from scratch. All goes perfect, even cross browser.
It all works, adapts to screen size etc. Nice! About to get this code into production.
Me: I'll test the iPhone 5 viewport size before I push the code...
Responsive Developer Tools:
FireFox: nu uh, there's a magic random 1px margin to every element on your page now, which you cannot find in your css or in the computed tab. It's magical.
Me: weird, what if I change the viewport size to the iPhone 6's dimensions?
Issue persists.
Me: hmm, what if I add or substract one fucking pixel from the viewport width or height?
FireFox: What 1px margin? Don't know what you're talking about ... There never was one...
Me: ok, weird (sets viewport size back to the iPhone 5 format for testing)
FireFox: I present to you: the magic random 1px margin.
I'm at a loss. I really am. Been clicking and unclicking almost every responsive part of my css I could find for this page and it just doesn't want to work persistently. And I swear to god that it worked a week ago in that exact viewport size. It's so frustrating.31 -
New team, same discussions...
* Why should we use cmake? It is way better to add visual studio project files to the repository and allow everyone to mess around in the compiler setting dialogs. Nobody needs cmake if not targeting multiple platforms!
* clang-format? What kind of black magic is this? It is way better to manually try to stick with each source file's existing formatting - regardless of how messed up it is - and manually check that from time to time!
* Why should we use the latest visual studio 2019 compiler, if 2017 and 2015 do just fine? This way we can save license fees!
/irony off
Just to mention a few highlights...13 -
My boss drives me crazy. He hired me for working on his SDK which is game related. So I am responsible for basically everything, including an ingame UI (menu etc.) and to predict the future path of a game object (unit, minion, ..) when a certain spell is casted on it. For that task I divided the prediction into firstly getting the predicted path of the unit without a spell being casted and then a class that would cast the spell on that path and estimate the units reaction to that cast. Simplified, but that way you get a pretty okayish result. Now he thinks that is too complicated. "Can we not put everything into one class, if someone wants to replace the prediction he needs to read documentation for hours". WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT, THAT IT'S GONNA BE SOME ONE CLASS 3K LINES MAGIC??
Same for the GUI. We only have DirectX and don't want to use a framework. Guess what, it's more than one class if you want to seperate view, model, controller or whatever fucking "design pattern" thing you use.
And then Git... he seriously said let's not use branches till release, I feel like they slow down things.. before I was there they did every operation on master.
And if it was just that..
/rant
I put much work into this, time to leave?1 -
The magic number it took me forever to remember is 768px for media includes. What's your magic number?8
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Why are banks so absolutely archaic and stupid when it comes to tech? I work in a Services based company and currently engaged with a very famous bank to build accounting software for Mutual Funds. The day to day stupidity of this client is driving me absolutely crazy.
They couldn't give us proper requirements, and my company was stupid enough to kickoff the project without official sign off. Not only did they change the requirements, but they added a shit ton MORE features, and essentially bullied us into completing it all in the same timeline. Their attitude is pathetic, they shit talk our dev team, they make us build the worst possible UX, and then complain that it's not looking good and not working well. They have absolutely no idea about any of the technical stuff and think that software is a magic box that will give them what they want.
I swear I have a lot of examples but I'm so angry right now that my words are fumbling and I can't think straight. Stand up is in 45 minutes and I'm just dreading it. Idk how to tell everything, it's just... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA5 -
Oh, gather 'round fellow wizards of the code realm! 🧙✨ Let me regale you with the epic tale of software sorcery and the comical misadventures that come with it! 🤪🎉
So there we are, facing the dreaded Internet Explorer dragon 🐉 - an ancient, stubborn beast from the era of dial-up connections and clipart-laden websites. It breathes fire on our carefully crafted layouts, turning them into a pixelated disaster! 🔥😱
And then, the grand quest of cross-browser testing begins! 🚀🌍 One moment, your website is a shining knight in Chrome's armor, and the next, it's a jester in Safari's court. A circus of compatibility struggles! 🎪🤹
CSS, the arcane art of cascading style sheets, is our magic wand. But oh, the incantations can be treacherous! A slight misstep and your buttons start disco dancing, and your text transforms into a microscopic mystery! 🕺👀
But fear not, brave developers! We wield the enchanted sword of Stack Overflow and the shield of Git version control. We shall slay bugs and refactor with valor! ⚔️🐞
In this enchanted land, documentation is the mystical parchment, often written in the cryptic dialect of ancient monks. "This function doeth stuff, thou knoweth what I meaneth." 📜😅
And meetings, oh the meetings! 🗣️🤯 It's like a conference of babbling brooks in the forest of Jargon. "Let us discuss the velocity of the backlog!" 🌿🐇
But amidst the chaos, we code on! Armed with our emojis and a bubbling cauldron of coffee, we persist. For we are the wizards and witches of the digital age, conjuring spells in Python and brewing potions in Java. 🐍☕
Onward, magical beings of code! 🚀 May your bugs be few, and your merges conflict-free! 🙌🎩3 -
Years ago I was working in local cinema as a student job from time to time and used to sleep after shifts at my uncle's. Uncle did not had internet but there were so many wlans all around. Since I had nothing to do for hours after shift, I downloaded Backtrack linux at home, made live dvd of it and saved a two articles of "how to hack wifi" to text files.
It took me 4 hours to break WEP, since I was total lame, and it was the only one WEP around. They also had mac restrictions set to router, so I changed my mac address to one of their devices, logged in to router and added our mac address. For my uncle it was complete magic but since he is total geek to linux he liked it.
Fast forward weeks later. When I came to my uncle's house he was downloading like ton of linux distributions. Literally each one. Gigabytes of data. I told him not to do so because sooner or later neighbour will notice, but he did not care. Guess what, he notices, probably slow internet and (maybe) bigger bills, I do not know, but owner just changed protocol to WPA2, not changing password. So the story continued for almost 2 years. Felt a bit sorry for neighbour but did not expect such an outcome. I just wanted to watch youtube videos and scroll social networks, keeping low profile so no one notice.1 -
When it comes to the idea of programming and magic, or the comparison between software developers/engineers, computer scientists etc as magicians or wizards, nothing brings the idea much more close to hearth than the C programming language.
A while ago I read the R.A Salvatore books concerning Drizzt, the dark elf. I loved the books, have not continued reading them but I remember them vividly. There was one book in which a human magician came about wielding extremely explosive magic, humans were capable of channeling large amounts of it through explosive and unwieldly ends.
This is the same feeling I get from C
Consider:
int items[] = {1, 2, 3};
printf("Third : %i\n", 3[items]);
and fuck me if shit like the above is not dangerous, it makes sense, arrays have the first items of it server as the pointer address to a first element, doing the above operation returns the third element of the array of 3. But holy shit if I don't think this is dangerous and interesting as fuck
there are many more examples I have that I am finding through me fucking around with: language development (compiler, interpreter), kernel programming as well as net sec. C is the most powerful and devastating thing we have in our hands indeed.7 -
a "landing page", that was just any and all features of the application forced into one huge, unbearably slow, indeniably confusing page.
which took months of work. which i said beforehand "nobody will use it". which now, through the magic of user tracking, is proven to be used by nobody.3 -
Man I currently have a burning hot passionate desire for physics. It actually gets me so damn excited. I mean it is basically damn magic ya know. But then I have a passionate desire for programming and that gets me excited. And then I have a burning desire for Math and that gets me excited as well. But I don't know what to push my life towards because I want to focus more on my ultimate goal. It's like having to choose between 3 amazing girls(not that I would know how that feels)4
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Aren't you, software engineer, ashamed of being employed by Apple? How can you work for a company that lives and shit on the heads of millions of fellow developers like a giant tech leech?
Assuming you can find a sounding excuse for yourself, pretending its market's fault and not your shitty greed that lets you work for a company with incredibly malicious product, sales, marketing and support policies, how can you not feel your coders-pride being melted under BILLIONS of complains for whatever shitty product you have delivered for them?
Be it a web service that runs on 1980 servers with still the same stack (cough cough itunesconnect, membercenter, bug tracker, etc etc etc etc) incompatible with vast majority of modern browsers around (google at least sticks a "beta" close to it for a few years, it could work for a few decades for you);
be it your historical incapacity to build web UI;
be it the complete lack of any resemblance of valid documentation and lets not even mention manuals (oh you say that the "status" variable is "the status of the object"? no shit sherlock, thank you and no, a wwdc video is not a manual, i don't wanna hear 3 hours of bullshit to know that stupid workaround to a stupid uikit api you designed) for any API you have developed;
be it the predatory tactics on smaller companies (yeah its capitalism baby, whatever) and bending 90 degrees with giants like Amazon;
be it the closeness (christ, even your bugtracker is closed and we had to come up with openradar to share problems that you would anyway ignore for decades);
be it a desktop ui api that is so old and unmaintained and so shitty, but so shitty, that you made that cancer of electron a de facto standard for mainstream software on macos;
be it a IDE that i am disgusted to even name, xcrap, that has literally millions of complains for the same millions of issues you dont even care to answer to or even less try to justify;
be it that you dont disclose your long term plans and then pretend us to production-test and workaround-fix your shitty non-production ready useless new OS features;
be it that a nervous breakdown on a stupid little guy on the other side of the planet that happens to have paid to you dozens of thousands of euros (in mandatory licences and hardware) to actually let you take an indecent cut out of his revenues cos there is no other choice in a monopoly regime, matter zero to you;
Assuming all of these and much more:
How can you sleep at night with all the screams of the devs you are exploiting whispering in you mind? Are all the money your earn worth?
** As someone already told you elsewhere, HAVE SOME FUCKING PRIDE, shitty people AND WRITE THE FUCKING DOCS AND FIX THE FUCKING BUGS you lazy motherfuckers, your are paid more than 99.99% of people on earth, move your fucking greasy little fingers on that fucking keyboard. **
PT2: why the fuck did you remove the ESC key from your shitty keyboards you fuckshits? is it cos autocomplete is slower than me searching the correct name of a function on stackoverflow and hence ESC key is useless? at least your hardware colleagues had the decency of admitting their error and rolling back some of the uncountable "questionable "hardware design choices (cough cough ...magic mouse... cough golden charging cables not compatible with your own devices.. cough )?12 -
FUCK YOU TECH LEAD! Our manager explained what he wanted 4 MONTHS AGO! You said we could do it! We can do it! You suddenly changed your mind, instead of asking me WHO IS WORKING ON THE PARTS REQUIRED TO DO THE MAGIC! MAYBE I WOULD KNOW IF IT IS POSSIBLE OR NOT??? MAYBE??? NOW I HAVE TO GO FIGHT YOU, YOUR EGO WILL SAY YOU ARE RIGHT, YOU WONT BACK DOWN, AND WE WILL SCREAM AT EACH OTHER! FUCK, RUINING MY 4 DAY WEEKEND RELAXATION! AND IN FRONT OF THE BOSS!!! FUCK
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Global variables destroyed my day
Of course you can call me a bad programmer and all. When you have the idea, sometimes globals make it seem easy, accessible and "saving resources". They are devils.
The app was connected to a suite of applications. So I ended up silently destroying it neighbors. I committed and pushed the shit. Just when the testers made their weed high smoke tests, a server stopped working.
I got an email that boss wanted the latest version, I reverted the wrong branch, which had code unrelated to its name, pushed shit again and voila.
I went to the bathroom and laughed. I had to take a smoke. I'm still laughing while typing this. The damage is too much and I can't help it. I'll go home, leave this pc on and work remotely through the night. It might be the hysterics speaking now, but I messed up, and I need magic by friday morning.6 -
Pretty much Python automation on steroids.
https://github.com/konradhalas/...
Dacite is an integral part in it, cause it makes most auto generated API wrappers like Cloudflare API "maintenable".
Getting dicts, converting via Dacite to defined data classes...
Then using TOML to define e.g. output parameters (e.g. list of classes / properties one needs)...
... To export them via Pandas to anything what one needs.
It's just so comfortable.
Definining data classes, sprinkle the API calls and dacite in it, some definition via TOML, done.
Yes, lots of dark vodoo / behind the scenes magic... But ... It removes all this annoying fucked up boilerplate writing that takes ages and makes it frustrating.
As long as the data wrapper (e.g. clousflare API) generates Dicts, its really minutes to get an export working.
If you know the pain of having to deal with multiple accounts, different formats (e.g. different companies)… hours of manual copy pasting to aggregate the data etc.
Then you can maybe understand why I love this so much.
Data classes and dacite makes painful confusing workflows so much nicer and self documenting, I get wet in my pants while writing this. :) -
So working on the cutting edge of 3d scanning (think project tango) i feel like my boss and his client are trying to sell a sham.
The technology is amazing but very limited. They are trying to sell magic. The PoC barrely works properly by their standards, and the one they are trying to sell to saw a fluke in behaviour that made it appear as if the PoC worked like how they are trying to sell it.
I hear them brooding over this plan to just sell that without any real plans to make this project work. There is no way they can make it work eithout compromises.
I do not want to be part of this ._.2 -
I've been working on an Emscripten emulation layer for a fledgling startup, and it's just a huge bitch. Seriously, Emscripten is the worst designed project I've ever seen. It embeds constants into a js file that it spits out. It turns out you can't fucking run the wasm that Emscripten emits without these magic constants from the js file.
Additionally, all the wasm imports that emscripten specifies are weirdly cased, with apparently no naming convention. They also use some weird, shitty vararg implementation when it already fucking knows exactly how many arguments are going to get passed to an import.
Also, there are a ton of broken things left over from when emscripten compiled to asm.js that they never bothered to replace with features from wasm. God knows how it even works. -
An anti-rant: I just made some code and out of nowhere it suddenly had an awesome feature that I didn't even program. No, not a euphemism for "bug", an actual feature.
Here's the story: A few months ago I made a shortcut for "System.out.println(…)" called "print(…)". Then I developed it further to also print arrays as "[1,2,3]", lists as "{1,2,3}", work with nested arrays and lists and accept multiple arguments.
Today I wanted to expand the list printing feature, which previously only worked for ArrayLists, to all types of List. That caused a few problems, but eventually I got it to work. Then I also wanted to expand it to all instances of Collection. As a first step, I replaced the two references to "List" with "Collection" and magically, no error message. So I tested it with this code:
HashMap<Integer, String> map = new HashMap<>();
map.put(1, "1");
map.put(2, "");
map.put(3, "a");
print(map);
And magic happened! The output was:
{1=1, 2=, 3=a}
That's awesome! I didn't even think yet about how I wanted to display key-value pairs, but Java already gave me the perfect solution. Now the next puzzle is where the space after the comma comes from, because I didn't program that in either.
I feel a bit like a character in "The subtle knife", who writes a barebones program to communicate with sentient elementary particles (believe me, it makes sense in context) and suddenly there's text alignment on the left and right, without that character having programmed any alignment.4 -
Good code is like a good video game. When you read it first time, it feels like magic, and you feel like it does more than it actually can.2
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The feature was to parse a set of fairly complex xml files following a legacy schema. Problem was, the way this was done previously did not conform to the schema so it was a guideline at best, which over the course of many years snowballed into an anarchy where clients would send in whatever and it was continuously updated per case as needed. They wanted to start enforcing their new schema while phasing out the old method.
The good news is that parsing and serialization is very testable, so I rounded up what I could find of example files and got to work. Around the same time I asked our client if they had any more examples of typical cases we need to deal with, and sure enough a couple of days later I receive a zip with hundreds of files. They also point out that I should just disregard the entire old set since they decided to outright cut support for it after all if it makes things simpler. Nice.
I finish the feature in a decent amount of time. All my local tests pass, and the CD tests pass when I push my branches. Once we push to our QA env though and the integration tests run, we get a pass rate of less than 10%.
I spend a couple of days trying to figure out what's going on, and eventually narrow it down to some wires being crossed with the new vs. old xml formats. I'm at a loss. I keep trying to chip away at it until I'm left with a minimal example, and I have one of those lean-back moments where you're just "I don't get it". My tests pass locally, but in the QA environment they fail on the same files.
We're now 3 people around my workstation including the system architect, and I'm demonstrating to the others how baffling and black magic this is. I postulate that maybe something is cached in my local environment and it's not actually testing the new files. I even deleted the old ones.
"Are you sure you deleted the right files?"
"Duh of course -- but let me check..."1 -
CSS is magic.
CSS is a katana blade.
CSS is a tiny bristle scratching Gorilla Glass Victus. It shouldn't exist, yet it does.
CSS is a plastic-based sticker that you peel off, and it leaves no residue behind.
CSS is a summer breeze of 2004 that you felt while riding longboards with your girlfriend.
CSS is plugging a '86 Les Paul into a Marshall JCM800 and switching to a dirty channel.
CSS is diving into a freshly made bed after an evening shower.
CSS is getting your winter coat and finding a hundred dollar bill in the pocket.
CSS is the front right burner.
CSS is stomping onto a Big Muff pedal before you do solo.
CSS is David Gilmour inviting you for lunch.
CSS is cracking open a cold bottle of Perrier.
CSS is falling asleep in the attic hugging your loved one and watching the stars.
CSS is a glass of just below the room temperature cold pressed orange juice after you run 5k.
CSS is stepping on a scale and seeing yet another pound of body weight gone.
CSS is a supportive, beautiful person saying they love you just after you escaped an abusive relationship.
CSS is putting on your cold white gold Rolex in the Friday afternoon before meeting with friends at the bar.
CSS is discovering your old Sansa Clip+ and booting RockBox.
CSS is giving cunnilingus to Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
CSS is finally feeling empathy to another person after two years of therapy and realizing you're alive.
CSS saying "unleaded" after you pull up to the gas station in your vintage 911.
CSS is your ex-boss apologizing to you after they hit the rock bottom.
CSS is smelling her hair in the back seat of a Maybach taxi.
CSS is giving presents to your grandparents.
CSS is hitting bong while watching Home Alone with your friends after New Year's Eve.
CSS is getting a new job that pays 3x your old one and removing your old job's Jira bookmark from a bookmarks bar.5 -
Yesterday, my team had a react crash-course workshop.
It was like "you have to import a couple of libs, use 'em in different react elements you pull up and Tadaaaa! Magic is happening and your app works".
This workshop was the pinnacle of "intense".
I understood 60% of the stuff.
My team-mates about 15%.
So react is the front-end technology of choice after our architectural-team. The other teams have to use this the technology for their UIs.
This will be a lot of fun ^^1 -
If I could I just wouldn't support email in any way shape anymore.
It's just too much hassle with all the spam filters and people just don't understand how email works.
Nobody fucking reads it anyway.... but everyone wants like a bazillion variations on stupid emails that go out that nobody will read.
They don't get that email is often instant ... but is actually async.
They don't understand that just because they got an email sent to their own distribution list ... and someone took them off the list... that doesn't mean that WE an outside group emailing that list stopped sending them messages.
Nobody actually looks at their spam filters until I tell them to do it for the 3rd time. And as if by magic folks at the same company don't 'have spam filter problems all the time'.
I had a company 'security' filter that straight up followed all the links in an email (that's fine ... we're good, I get that).... and then their stupid bot or whatever would actually click options on a form and fucking submit the fucking form!!!!!
I mean I get that maybe some sites have folks submit some shit and then deliver malware but that's gonna have consequences submitting shit none the less because I don't know it's just your fucking bot...
So they'd get various offers from our customers and bitch when they went to find it was already gone.5 -
I’m convinced that CSS is black magic and those that can visualize what it’s going to do before changing code are witches/warlocks.
Usually my attempts end up in humor as the website ends up /comically/ broken. Elements shifted around to not anywhere near they belong, drop downs appearing from completely nonsensical places...
No idea how you all do it.2 -
Life is good when you're responsible only for your task, code you write.
While i had souch a beautiful life, I could come to wrk, make coffe, magic and be happy. Sometimes it would be fast, sometimes slow. Sometimes I had to learn before implementing, sometimes I just needed to code it down. I had working hours. I had only TL and client to deal with.
If you dislike working with your collegues, imagine being responsible for their work and feel good.1 -
Aunt asked me to repair her phone because "nothing is working". She said she tried every phone repairer in the town. She blames the phone, the phone manufacturer and everyone else.
She finally admitted the phone fell into water and she didn't tell it to the repairers. Then she wonders why they can't do magic.
"But aren't the front camera and the rear camera the same camera?"
Wat? -
typeof rant === "Encouragement"
Never let your self down, try to be your own const in life that know his scope and traits well enough to construct a peacefull life without any uncatched exceptions. Also try to return something to the public, keeping your magic pointers to your private makes it hard to review your glorious source of thoughts. And if it is getting hard try to REST a bit and git some timeout.
😉1 -
I have been trying to wrap my head around authentication in hapi for the last 6 hours...
Fuck this shit... when did simple,
I HAS A USERNAME
I HAS A PASSWORD
CAN HAS SESSION?
become:
- you magically get a token from somewhere
- you magically verify that token
- you respond with { credentials } //magic
- by some fucking black magic the server probably creates a session without you knowing about it...
- you freak out and write your own authentication scheme only to find out that you cannot read payload of POST requests in the authenticate method
- you get angrier and depressed and write a rant
(to be clear: there is @hapi/basic but I don't think sending a GET request with the URL looking like username:password@domain.tld is very safe...)11 -
Fucking experimental technologies. I feel like doing webassembly stuff is like buying a smart device, it's not worth any of the trouble for now.
I wanted to do some webassembly-stuff with rust and yew (basically react for rust). I was really hyped because it all looked promising and i found this cool band "heilung" whose music made me my coding feel like black magic with complex incantations and shit.
A basic webassembly setup did work, but everything afterwards was pure shit. Crate installation didn't go as expected, i get weird errors even though i simply copied the example (and checked the versions). The best i got was when i tried to compile and rust told me to go fuck myself because i cant use feature XY in a package in the stable environment. Why the hell would someone even publish said package then? After losing half a day because of this i give up for now. I don't feel like a badass magician anymore anyways, more like the guy that puts mentos into coke and gets hit by the foam. -
Recently bought an Adafruit Industries board which controls stepper motors over i2c. It has a Phython library, but my code is in C++. Decided to convert the Python code to C++ to get started quickly. Behold the magic line that made everything work:
std::this_thread::sleep_for(std::chrono::milliseconds(10));
I can't believe Python's ridiculous performance is being harnessed to let the field generated by electromagnets in a stepper motor to grow to sufficient proportions to affect movement. Without the said sleep(), the stepper motor just vibrates with my C++ code. Not sure if the library was created with Python's performance in mind, or they simply didn't think about back EMF in electromagnets...5 -
Please do not flame me for makimg yet another Firefox rant. Besides, this is not about Quantum in particular and is definitely a self rant.
It was some time last month; i saw somebody here say something about Firefox Developer Edition, and I decided I wanted to be a big boy and try out big boy tools. I downloaded the tarball, unzipped it, and put the folder in my /opt/ directory. But it didn't work.
NO. My brain didn't work.
I forgot that Firefox comes default on Ubuntu, and I also seemed to inconveniently forgot that taskbar icons are not magic mind readers. I opened firefox and lo! Not a fuck changed; i was confused, but too busy to care enough to figure out the issue; I chalked it up to I wasn't meant to have nice things and went on with my life.
Fast forward to today, I got it up. And let me tell you, I am pissed with myself. I haven't opened a single webpage yet and I can already tell from the customization possible and the built-in tools alone that I'll be enjoying working in this browser very much.2 -
I really hate PHP frameworks.
I also often write my own frameworks but propriety. I have two decades experience doing without frameworks, writing frameworks and using frameworks.
Virtually every PHP framework I've ever used has causes more headaches than if I had simply written the code.
Let me give you an example. I want a tinyint in my database.
> Unknown column type "tinyint" requested.
Oh, doctrine doesn't support it and wont fix. Doctrine is a library that takes a perfectly good feature rich powerful enough database system and nerfs it to the capabilities of mysql 1.0.0 for portability and because the devs don't actually have the time to create a full ORM library. Sadly it's also the defacto for certain filthy disgusting frameworks whose name I shan't speak.
So I add my own type class. Annoying but what can you do.
I have to try to use it and to do so I have to register it in two places like this (pseudo)...
Types::add(Tinyint::class);
Doctrine::add(Tinyint::class);
Seems simply enough so I run it and see...
> Type tinyint already exists.
So I assume it's doing some magic loading it based on the directory and commend out the Type::add line to see.
> Type to be overwritten tinyint does not exist.
Are you fucking kidding me?
At this point I figure out it must be running twice. It's booting twice. Do I get a stack trace by default from a CLI command? Of course not because who would ever need that?
I take a quick look at parent::boot(). HttpKernel is the standard for Cli Commands?
I notice it has state, uses a protected booted property but I'm curious why it tries to boot so many times. I assume it's user error.
After some fiddling around I get a stack trace but only one boot. How is it possible?
It's not user error, the program flow of the framework is just sub par and it just calls boot all over the place.
I use the state variable and I have to do it in a weird way...
> $booted = $this->booted;parent::boot();if (!$booted) {doStuffOnceThatDependsOnParentBootage();}
A bit awkward but not life and death. I could probably just return but believe or not the parent is doing some crap if already booted. A common ugly practice but one that works is to usually call doSomething and have something only work around the state.
The thing is, doctrine does use TINYINT for bool and it gets all super confused now running commands like updates. It keeps trying to push changes when nothing changed. I'm building my own schema differential system for another project and it doesn't have these problems out of the box. It's not clever enough to handle ambiguous reverse mappings when single types are defined and it should be possible to match the right one or heck both are fine in this case. I'd expect ambiguity to be a problem with reverse engineer, not compare schema to an exact schema.
This is numpty country. Changing TINYINT UNSIGNED to TINYINT UNSIGNED. IT can't even compare two before and after strings.
There's a few other boots I could use but who cares. The internet seems to want to use that boot function. There's also init stages missing. Believe it or not there's a shutdown and reboot for the kernel. It might not be obvious but the Type::add line wants to go not in the boot method but in the top level scope along with the class definition. The top level scope is run only once.
I think people using OOP frameworks forget that there's a scope outside of the object in PHP. It's not ideal but does the trick given the functionality is confined to static only. The register command appears to have it's own check and noop or simply overwrite if the command is issued twice making things more confusing as it was working with register type before to merely alias a type to an existing type so that it could detect it from SQL when reverse engineering.
I start to wonder if I should just use columnDefinition.
It's this. Constantly on a daily basis using these pretentious stuck up frameworks and libraries.
It's not just the palava which in this case is relatively mild compared to some of the headaches that arise. It's that if you use a framework you expect basic things out of the box like oh I don't know support for the byte/char/tinyint/int8 type and a differential command that's able to compare two strings to see if they're different.
Some people might say you're using it wrong. There is such a thing as a learning curve and this one goes down, learning all the things it can't do. It's cripplesauce.12 -
Apart of the fact that WordPress itself is one big hack, my most creative hacky solution was making it (dev) environment friendly.
First, I created a DB pull and push tool in NodeJS (on TypeScript). Then, because WP is so clever and stores internal URLs in full length in the DB, I had to create a DB migrator (find & replace) and attached it to the DB pull task.
After this, of course WP still has its config in one file, so I used composer to install phpdotenv and filled the config with environment variables.
Bundled with some good ol' Gitlab CI/CD magic, the website is now 10% sanely developable.
It feels like having to shovel piles of shit, but with a golden shovel. Everything stinks as hell but at least there is a tiny bling to it, temporarily.
But in all seriousness: WordPress is a god damn fucking pile of tumors!3 -
I think I'm getting to the point to where I'm burnt out at my job. Don't get me wrong, it's a great place to work. But it is very, VERY boring. And I'm starting to struggle to even pay attention anymore. I know it's important but I'm struggling to care. How am I supposed to do good work when I can barely even focus? Good code is not magic! I can't be barely holding my eyes open and expected to be worth anything.
I'm also still technically a junior developer which I have some issues with >_>6 -
"Can't you just…" are the favorite words of my company's president. He uses them like a magic wand. When faced with a complex problem that will take thousands of development man hours, he utters the words, "Can't you just…" He believes that if he can over-simplify the problem, and summarize the necessary work into a sentence or two, it should only take a week or two to complete.
Of course, I then explain that what seems simple to him is actually very complex once you peel back the layers of the problem. I then explain the specifics until his eyes glaze over, and he cries uncle.
A couple weeks later, he has forgotten everything I said, and the Monday meeting begins with, "About that project. Can't you just…"2 -
Finally got my wall up to my desk in whiteboard. 4' by 8' sheets cut to fit the whole wall with a 1/8" clearance at the top. Ignore the raspberry pi, I have to set it up this way because I have no USB network adapter or long enough Ethernet cable. There should have been a magic mirror where the box is but on that specific spot in the wall the studs are only 13 1/2" instead of 14" like they should be...3
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I hate people ranting about “Uhh thats not responsive I sent a screen how I imagined it.“
Open Screen, 1918x703 px WIDE.
Explained for an hour that thats not fucking responsive. Nobody could see or read that even if I were to implement. Responsive fucking means text breaks BELOW the damn pictures to make it readable. I will never fit that on an iphone or something unless he pays extra so i can perform dark magic to force vertical view on some devices and put 100 alert functions that the device is not supported by the site.
Im so mad fuck him and fuck me1 -
GoLive for this big feature is set for Thursday. So the customer approaches me and asks can our team do it. Sure it can be done if everything goes perfectly, but... This means that the feature won't be tested, everything won't probably go perfectly (which it didn't because of customer selected third party api surprise nondocumented features (bugs)) and Thursday release is almost as dumb fucking idea as Friday release. I said it more nicely and I got:
"I don't agree with you"
from a person who has 0 understanding of what is going on and whose boss pays me to tell them what it needs in order to work and prosper.
And we had this fucking conversation three times. So basically he interrupted my coding that directly impacts the schedule in order to debate how fast things can be done. Don't these people understand that everytime you interrupt a software engineer the deadline is pushed by the same amount of time you waste of mine + 30minutes of refocus time to get back into the thing you were doing.
Best part was that the deadline was this magic date the guy pulled out of his ass without consulting the developer team and nobody really cared about the deadline =D
FUCK1 -
See if one more fucker turns to me and suggests I start a company to “Help with the smart border after Brexit” I swear to fuck I going to personally go to 10 Downing Street and stand in the cabinet and shout “Technology is not literal magic” until Boris Johnson finally gets it5
-
Working on something...
-Hun?! Why the hell doesn't it work?
Attempt a few fixes...
-Still doesn't work? Damn what am i doing wrong?
Attempt other changes...
-Why is it still not working!?
Debug step by step, validate my values are fine...
-Why does my output not correspond to my values!?! What the hell is this black magic!?
Rebuild the same solution for the 5th time...
-...Why does it work now... -
I'm way past the point of being pissed now....
So there's some software (API's, mobile app + website) that I wrote to manage supplier incentive programs in a big hurry last year - which lead to a bunch of stuff being hard-coded in to launch on time. So after last years promotion was done I took down all the services etc was very fucking clear that in order to finish & deploy it to run again I would need at least around 4 months notice.
On the surface its pretty simple but it has quite a large user base and controls the distribution of enough cash & prizes to buy a small country so the setup of the incentives/access/audit trails is not something to be taken lightly.
Then once I'm done with the setup I have to hand it over to be "independently audited" by 3 of the larger corporate behemoths who's cash it distributes (if I get a reply from one in 3-4 weeks it's pretty fast).
I only happened to find out by chance an hour ago that we are apparently launching an even larger program this year - ON FUCKING MONDAY. I literally happened to over hear this on my way for a smoke - they have been planning it since last year November and not one person thought it might be kinda important to let me know because software is "magic" and appears and works based on the fucking lunar cycle. -
Wow, I thought Australia's subjects were up-to date with modern technology, but as my year 11 IPT course has proven... No.
Genuine Questions from it:
• Where are Web pages stored?
Most web pages are dynamically generated, so... RAM?
•Locate one webpage that uses ASP. Save a copy of this webpage (file name must = asp.mht)
Chrome Doesn't Even Support that as a save able file format any more!!!!
•Visit the webpage [error 404 anyway why write it]
Wow I can click hyperlinks I thought it was just a fancy color added to the text :|
•Add this webpage to your favorites. Supply one (1) screenshot showing this webpage as one of your favorites.
I ask; Who hasn't bookmarked a webpage in their life at the age of 17, and who actually calls them favorites.
•Press the "Back" Button to view the page you were previously on, take a screen shot to prove you doing so.
I am a rebel, I used my magic fingers to press the button without a mouse (keyboard shortcut)
•Press the "Forward" Button to view the page you were on before you went backwards, take a screen shot to prove you doing so.
I never would of guessed :|
•Take a screen shot after opening multiple tabs in Internet Explorer
...
•View the HTML source of the webpage www.google.com, and save a screen shot
Why not the actual file, really? bloat much?
•Take one screen shot of your Internet Explorer Search History
Stalky much?
•What is a Web browser and what tasks does it perform?
Well.... Do you have a page for indepth analyse? Or do you literally what me to say "It let's you load stuff from dat interwebz, via requesting content from a server"
•Define what JavaScript is in relation to web pages
Are we talking server side? or client?
•Define what CSS is in relation to web pages
Do I even need to say fellow ranters ;) -
When you use an Android app on daily basis, upgrades every time when you can, then you remove and reinstall it and get a very different UI and feature set. What kind of black magic is this?
-
Year 2023
phone charges from 10 to 100% in <30min
battery holds for 3-4 days
... I still can't believe it.
What kind of black magic is this...23 -
I am not a php dev and I have nearly 0 knowledge of php. All I know about php is that xampp is your friend and you have to write that $ everywhere. But that one day I had to setup phpLDAPadmin on apache2.
I have nothing against php, but I just don't want to have anything in common, since I'm just perfectly fine with my java.
So I had to make it work. Fought my way through different incompatible versions of php and phpldapadmin only to see "not found" on phpldapadmin.
I thought, like, wtf?? Especially when index.php of apache2 is displaying just fine? I mean, I can "edit" some php code, but configs and php setups are just something like out of my world. Tried setuping it on different vms - same result. I've buried way too many hours into this with no result. Finally I gave up and contacted a friend of mine which is like php god for me. He did same thing as I did in ~ 10 mins, but the result was the same. Tweaked some configs - same. Scratched his head, sat for 5 more minutes, did something and boom - it works!
I've asked him, what is that php magic and the answer killed me:
"Index.html was missing"
At that moment I just wanted to exit through the window. Sadly, there were no way to open it.
Yes, I am this stupid in php. But I still miss all these wasted hours...2 -
I'm not even done with this code and I am already dreading maintaining it. There is so much magic.1
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I just scroll past this question asking how to get good at Git commands (https://devrant.com/rants/9997784/...). Figured I'd share my thoughts as a separate rant cause it's a topic I've tinkered with a bit.
So, My initial engagement with git-related queries on StackOverflow dates back to around 2021.. Surprisingly, one of my short and straight-to-the-point replies got a hand full of attention. You can check it here: https://stackoverflow.com/a/...
Now, about mastering Git commands – from my own trial and error:
1). Instead of trying to cram everything into your big brain, scribble down notes. Trust me, it’s more practical. I kept a cheat sheet of sorts as notes on my PC, noting down the commands I used day in, day out. Super handy beyond just work stuff.
2). You gotta get what each command does, but you don't need to nail it all at once. Spend a day diving into the basic commands. Leave the trickier ones for later; they start making sense as you get more into it.
3). I had this aha moment when dealing with a merge mess using a GUI tool. Switched to the command line, and bam! It made way more sense. The command line's like a secret passage to really understanding Git.
So, if you're wondering how to tackle Git commands, my take is: *notes, *baby steps, and *lean into that command line magic. Mix them up your way and see what sticks for you!1 -
OMFG, Dell, why can't you be normal and make your batteries die like any other batteries - by simply switching the laptop off immediately when the charger is unplugged???
Guess what it looks like when a JD25G (XPS13 9530) battery is dying (still 88% health)!
Constant screen flickering (yes, even in BIOS). Good thing I'm not an epileptic - my screen is fucking strobing!!!
I know it's a battery, because I had the same issue some years ago when I replaced the died original one with a cheapo made by GreenCell. Boi that was fun - I saw my laptop do miraculous things I never would've thought of! Screen flickering was one of them. As soon as I replaced that turd with an original one all these magic powers went away.14 -
How hard can it be to refactor this 170 lines file?
- a single “data” variable used to store everything
- arrays inside arrays inside arrays (see prev point)
- operations with a lot of obscure sideEffects
- $data[] = something (which in magic php land means $data.enqueue()
Why is such… biological matter… even allowed to code? Fucker’s pretending they are a senior for four years: how in hell didn’t they learn to code in this timeframe?7 -
“Everyone is busy building stuff for right now, today, rarely for tomorrow. But it would be nice to also have stuff that lasts a little longer than that.... You don’t have to be a genius to write fast programs. There’s no magic trick. The only thing required is not building on top of a huge pile of crap that modern toolchain is.”
—Nikita Prokopov, “Software disenchantment”, retrieved from http://tonsky.me/blog/...5 -
My cousin was studying computer science, and he was telling me about the coding and the programming stiff, I got inpired by him and I since then I wanted to be a dev, especially when you can make some thing from nothing, unlike other jobs you have to get tools a parts and start to attach them together in order to make a product, while programming all you need is your laptop and couple of softwares and you can make as products as you want.
It is MAGIC2 -
The longer I live, the longer I am unsure what the meaning of my life is.
TLDR; 42
Yes I am a creative person in a way that I can create something out of nothing, but unfortunately all my work is almost invisible. Is the meaning of a developer guy to be a magician? He does something and *wooosh*
//magic happens here
there is a thing which he forgot how it works within a month. Why can't I just talk about my work with other people than those from the IT business? I don't think to be that important, but sometimes it appears that without you and me nothing will really work nowadays.
And to be honest with you guys, I am too slow. I can adapt new concepts and new programming languages, but I feel like getting overruned by all that new stuff appearing each day. Am I supposed to be that super hero named"superbrain"? Is that still healthy?
wtf, my life is a miracle, an oracle and a hurricane (and some times it is even great)!
I am confused!1 -
First patch for buildroot submitted and added applied to master!! 😁
I had the impression that git (like, more than "git add ." was just too complicated and that making patches was some sort of dark magic using some obscure unix tools.
Well, it turns out that is actually pretty easy, fun and exhilarating!!
Looking forward to build up until I'm making contributions to the kernel! 🤓 -
I fucking hate web development and fuckton of issues it has. Laravel library not found despite the files exists and composer loaded it in the autoloader, fix: create a config file for the lib, why? Because magic. The code cannot find the provider class without it....
Next, try out smtp mail. Works everywhere, but not with the live smtp server. Fails with Invalid recipients error. 2 hours later, with half of my hair torn out I finally figured out. Can you guess?
Credentials and settings are correct, recipients are also correct. The fucking from address parameter was the culprit because you cannot send emails on behalf another address, logical but fuck that error message. Why is it that hard to respond with an understandable response?2 -
just read this article (german),
https://trendingtopics.at/wearedeve...
in the interview section, there was the magic sentence
"developers hate recruiters"
it is argued that they do not speak the same language, nor do they have the same background(recruiters are mostly HR or marketing people)
i hate those recruites, who are not even able to write my firstname correctly, when trying to contact me
any other reasons to hate them?3 -
If I was to talk about software, the act of coding is probably the most boring part. But birthing a program can pull from magic, animation, circus, gardening, parenting, woodwork, and a host of arts, trades, and crafts. It is a wonderful creative task that is being sold short by brilliant jerks, one trick fools, and con men.2
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The development life cycle when taking over a project is much like that of a slightly retarded wizards first steps into utilizing the powers of the dark forces.
CONFUSION => CLARITY => FAILURE => CONFUSION => CONFUSION => BROKEN KEYBOARD => CONFUSION => UNKNOWN MAGIC => SUCCESS => CONFUSION => BORED OF THIS IT FUCKING WORKS => PUSH => SHUTDOWN -
I like to say programming is the art of "creative logic". Much like architecture has an aesthetic to consider or cooking has well-defined procedures with greatly varying inputs and outputs, there has to be room for creativity, be it at the planning stage or during wild improvisation sessions.
Without that creative aspect, software development sounds dreary to me.
Where science meets art is where the magic happens.
If only the artists shared this view and actually took an interest in the technical side...1 -
I swear that Netlify CMS is straight up magic. Finally something that is simple and unopinionated and just works out of the box. After understanding how it works I just plugged it into a hardcoded project and the hardest part was just copy-pasting the content.2
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This is a place for ranting, right? It's "Dev"-"Rant", right?
So, why so much hate when people do actually rant?
Kinda defeats the purpose, doesn't it? Or maybe the name is just misleading...
Or maybe y'all just gate-keeping ranting - which is... ya, okay - you do you, you preppy tosser.
Anyway, on that note:
I fucking hate web-development.
I fucking hate CSS.
CSS isn't a tool, it's a curse.
It's like a soft black magic system:
This specific behavior can sometimes be created by combining these specific elements, but will fall apart if you're a gemini - unless you wore a colorful hat at your fifth birthday party. If you didn't have a party, it'll produce some random behavior of the deer-god's choosing.56 -
So there was a time when I "knew" PHP but I've never been able to use it, correctly or not. I knew I had to know a framework to get more accepted in the work market place, so I went on Codecademy, and started to learn a shit ton of stuff that I knew but I now master way more than before. Until I fall on a Ruby on Rails tutorial. Then another. Then a login / register system.
Dude. It was so simple. I had the feeling that my magic wand found me, and that I was developing just by speaking English (well it was the basics)
Today RoR is still my favourite framework, I just wish I could be paid to work with it 😍 -
Have some downtime today, so since I lucked out and found some old backups (from before I used Git) of a project I was planning on revisiting, I decided to fire it up and see what I can do to get that going again.
And discovering just how much my coding style has changed since then...
[Code is in PHP, for reference]
* Virtually no documentation (whereas my current style is near-obsessive with PHPdoc blocks)
* Where comments exist, they only use // and are a full tab after the end of the line
* All assignment operators are dutifully aligned on tabs
* Have to update the entire codebase because it relies on deprecated `mysql_*` calls
* Have to flip all of the quotes throughout the codebase because I used double-quotes as my primary at the time instead of single quotes.
* Also relied on magic quotes for injecting variable content into strings
* Associative array practices varied; sometimes the names are encased in double quotes, but I just hit a block where it's all leaving it to the compiler to interpret unquoted string literals
And perhaps the most egregious so far...
* Any time we get database results back the process for cycling through them is to do `$count = mysql_num_rows($result);` (or $count2, etc.), then do a `for ($i = 0; $i < $count; $i++)` (again, or $j, $k, etc.), instead of just a simple `while ($data = $result->fetch_assoc())`2 -
Client be like:
Pls, could you give the new Postgres user the same perms as this one other user?
Me:
Uh... Sure.
Then I find out that, for whatever reason, all of their user accounts have disabled inheritance... So, wtf.
Postgres doesn't really allow you to *copy* perms of a role A to role B. You can only grant role A to role B, but for the perms of A to carry over, B has to have inheritance allowed... Which... It doesn't.
So... After a bit of manual GRANT bla ON DATABASE foo TO user, I ping back that it is done and breath a sigh of relief.
Oooooonly... They ping back like -- Could you also copy the perms of A on all the existing objects in the schema to B???
Ugh. More work. Lets see... List all permissions in a schema and... Holy shit! That's thousands of tables and sequences, how tf am I ever gonna copy over all that???
Maybe I could... Disable the pager of psql, and pipe the list into a file, parse it by the magic of regex... And somehow generate a fuckload of GRANT statements? Uuuugh, but that'd kill so much time. Not to mention I'd need to find out what the individual permission letters in the output mean... And... Ugh, ye, no, too much work. Lets see if SO knows a solution!
And, surprise surprise, it did! The easiest, simplest to understand way, was to make a schema-only dump of the database, grep it for user A, substitute their name with B, and then input it back.
What I didn't expect is for the resulting filtered and altered grant list to be over 6800 LINES LONG. WHAT THE FUCK.
...And, shortly after I apply the insane number of grants... I get another ping. Turns out the customer's already figured out a way to grant all the necessary perms themselves, and I... No longer have to do anything :|
Joy. Utter, indescribable joy.
Is there any actual security reason for disabling inheritance in Postgres? (14.x) I'd think that if an account got compromised, it doesn't matter if it has the perms inherited or not, cuz you can just SET ROLE yourself to the granted role with the actual perms and go ham...3 -
Today I had to spend the whole day fixing a stupid bug in a legacy application in a completely different tech stack than I'm used to...
At my company we have an Internet application running where we can upload a word document and using some mailmerge variables magic, can set those vars and receive the personalised word doc back...
Now this is great, when it's working, and is used in various projects we have up and running... Suddenly the application decides to crap out for no apparent reason and guess who drew the short straw....
Anyhow I ask our sys admin for the password to the server, I remote desktop to it, turns out its a fucking Windows 2008 server...
But wait it gets better, the application, a shoddy mess of c# code, is not under any sort of version control, has to be developed on that same server and to top it all of, I have to follow some obscure barely documented deployment precedure to get my changes live....
So after a lot of cursing on the dev (not working at the company any more) who did the original setup, and hours of painstakingly piecing together how it works and what went wrong and how to fix it, I finally managed to get it working....
After this rant, I'm mailing my technical lead about this in the hopes we can get someone to do it right (yes, I'm that naive)1 -
Reading Magic of Stella kind of makes me want to make a visual novel game. Anyone know an artist, a musician, and a project manager? Possibly a writer if I can't write the damn thing myself, which is likely considering my ADD when it comes to writing and holy shit where are my shoes?
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At work I am "the" programmer and is the first time in which I actually enjoy showing different solutions to problems without having a fear of implementing large things without having any form of recognition.
Seeing someone get happy because of something you created is a great feeling and even tho most of us are misantrophic af we can still appreciate bringing happiness through code.
To me, software engineering is the closest thing to magic and I really believe that.
Two days ago I showed my manager a little utility to build small portions of the site we are building and make changes to it in real time without browser refreshes for whatever change she would like to do. She was super happy and excited and it made me feel real happy.
Such great feeling man. Nothing but good vibes brother!! -
Why old video games, kinda PS1 aesthetics, feel so much more magic and fun, and modern games feel like dystopia depression?
It has to do with child memories? I think there is something more to that. E.g. Colin mcrae 2.0 although has worst physics compared to later titles like Need For Speed, is so much more fun to play and get hooked to it (if example does not work for you, replace it accordingly).
I think there is something to do with the lower quality graphics that trigger imagination, but i am not sure. What is your opinion ?8 -
I've always been a strong critic of the mac operating system and apple in general for they're overpriced products. few months back my old laptop kicked the bucket and repairing it was not an option as i was sick of charging the laptop after every 3-4 hours and had to purchase a new laptop immediately. loooking at my options around 50k rs or 700$ all windows laptops available in indian markets sucked (except for lenovo 320s) so i made the shift to macbook air 2017.my daily work involves photoshop illustrator and a dash of premiere pro. I also work on nodeJS and python using the pycharm and atom IDEs. After using it for a month i feel in love with mac platform and macos. Its a wonderful experience. gone are the days of crashes and the windows updates (ugh). the boot of the laptop is like magic and softwares like wmware imovie and notes keynote are f**king awesome. Long hours of work have become fun rather than hell dealing with constant windows gimmicks and bad battery optimisation on linux.
An explanation why all developers (except for the ones who require high powered gpus) graphic designers should shift to macos rn.
Advantages of using mac
No forced updates update whenever now or a f'ing month later no probs.
better battery optimisation than linux
no more installing os again and again (ubuntu)
better vm than virtualbox (vmware)
terminal for running bash commands
no crahes
Xcode platform
trackpad is worlds better than the best windows trackpad
Disadvantages
some softwares not available for macos
storage is generally less on macbooks
UI is simple (less elaborated than windows)
Workarounds
get a vm and install linux(vmware fusion 8)
ps. u may not need it though
wine and wine bottler for using windows apps
get a microsd to sd adapter for macbook and expand storage5 -
I am currently in the works of designing, building and extending an CRM/MRP system for production lines.
But for some reason I cant seem to find ANY modern sources, papers, books, forums, threads for context on this topic. It’s as if this topic doesn’t exist.
(One thing to point out is that there are sources for business wise analytics but am looking design wise)
I am starting to think that i am not googling it correctly (what a boomer).
Do you have any magic sources, captains of devrant?10 -
Fighting a CDI dependency injection problem that makes no sense. The only thing that sucks about the magic of DI is troubleshooting it when it doesn't work.1
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!Rant Does anyone else find it sad that the more you know about coding ,the less it all feels like magic ? I remember times i often stumbled upon websites that felt so smart, as if they where magical. Now best i can say is that they are neatly programmed. But the magic disappeared once i understood the logic behind it all. Anyone else?3
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Super curious: Ive broken my arch frequently. And then fix it and go on with my day. Or an update causes some weird package confliction because I used pip instead of pacman for one library or whatever.
But I keep hearing from different sources that "arch being super unstable is a myth. It never happens!" Okay surely not all the time, my system is usually pretty good but:
Do you people never `pacman -Syyu` ?
How have you not broken everything?! Or do you just pretend like the AUR (the best thing ever and also the source of most of my problems) doesn't exist? What black magic are you doing to appease the arch gods?8 -
gradle is infuriating.
firstly there are so limited resources to understand how it's building a java/android code. everything happens by magic and hit+trial
secondly the plugins and the tasks works in mysterious ways. sometime they work when applied in the project root's gradle file, other times they work when applied in module's gradle file, nd other times they need configuration at both levels.
then there are gradle tasks like build ,test, assemble , clean etc. these are less of an action and more of an alias to run a bundle of actions.
then we have 3rd party plugins which attach themselves to these "fat-actions" and run before/after them
and finally we have the fuckup from the java world where the only available code coverage plugin is jacoco and IT FUCKING SUCKS!!! it is a test environment plugin, it should impact test tasks , but somehow it's fucking with the assemble taskin such a manner, that the jars ans aar files generated via plugin are giving runtime errrors. yes , runtime! as if we are back in the messed up js world of "everything is good unless running live"
even if it was a compile time eeror, i would have considered. but runtime?!! fucking runtime error?! i barely understand this shit, there is absolutely no info available as to which classes are being used to create a build and how, and i am supposed to fix this? wtf?!4 -
This internal api is killing me. Why the fuck do people return an array of numbers inside a field that has a generic name such as `icons` to convey information such as "hasOptionFooIncluded". Because of course then icons contains '6'. Yet if both 6 and 4 are in there, it means something else. Needless to say there is no documentation whatsoever what each number or group of numbers actually means so I have to ask around to find out what numbers means what in order to wrap that call away into something maintainable. Because the API is deprecated and we don't want to fix shit in there. We just create other shit depending on this crappile. :/
Stop using magic numbers. Just stawp it! -
The old company I was working at, was absolutely treating their new employees as shit. Everything was handled by the old timers who "knew how the world worked" (to those, TDD was useless, because as proven by this company only, it was a waste of time).
Everything that the new employees or "young talent" came up with, had to be talked through in a senior group, without the young talent. Never got anywhere, their software was absolute garbage (yet worked by sheer magic!!!!)
Today I learned that a former coworked had hos LinkedIn account say "[company]: waste of time."
And before you say "No company you work for, is a waste of time, as a software dev." i say, working for this company made you a worse developer. By. The. Fucking. Day.1 -
The end of today was extremely fun.
Imagine the surprise. I was importing a simple 8 GB big virtual machine into the Proxmox hypervizor.
First issue: It was in the Open Virtualization Format (.ova) for easy import into... most hypervizors... Not Proxmox, however.
But really, not that bad, there are ways around it. Create a blank virtual machine through the UI, scrap the disk you create, then extract the two disk QCOW2 files from the .ova file, which by itself is just a POSIX TAR archive. Then import them through the commandline.
...So I did just that. The larger of the two was about 8 GBs, the other just like... 50 MBs.
The larger imported fine. The smaller?
Color me surprised, when it created a FUCKING. 1. TB. LOGICAL. VOLUME.
...
That it then proceeded to try and fill full of zeros...
Oh yes, it was one of the fancy dynamic storage files that expand as space is needed.
...
Tomorrow, I'll have to try if I can export just the filesystem data into an individual, shrunken down, normal, plain, old disk. None of this fancy black magic shit.
...Also... I don't get why Proxmox doesn't support that... The filesystem was only a few megs big... Ugh.1 -
So first rant, here goes weirdness, and also lengthy rant
So in my company we have the hr and accounting managed by the same person which also deals with all things employee related and she had a need for a way to extract a birthday from, what is in our country the personal identification number, things go great i get a formula that performs parts of the magic up to the point where the first digit of the number dictates the gender and century to be used when forming the full year, mind you only the last two digits of the year are in plain within the id number so i thy a number of ideas. After bashing around google sheets for a while ( i've got open office installed and formulas don't export well to the excel that person uses but google sheets does so i built it there).
First idea : make a few conditionals to check for the value so we have 1 and 2 for 19th century, 3 and 4 for 18th century , 5 and 6 for 20th so i go ahead and write my conditions and they fail, all evaluates to false, it cascades through the else variants up to the last one so i'm wondering if the "if" itself doesn't support the or operator, seems it does, next i think it's the bloody condition written wrong so i reevaluate my logic in php in a test script, it works as intended, then i think ok not the right function called, let's see the docs, docs confirm i'm doing it right but what was wrong was the way i was getting that first number, using left seems to produce a string although the base thing is a number, now i start searching how i can cast it, like you would normaly do when the data type is fried, value function appears to be the solution but it isn't working....now i'm thinking "ok so i have a value and different things to print out so let's look for a switch, maybe it can understand that" switch function found under the form of choice, i get it sorted but am stuck wondering why the heck was the if and value combination not working.
Simple answer to that : value doesn't work well with function results, a known bug listed by someone in a comment, a comment i have failed to read for about 45 minutes of trying to understand.
All in all it worked well for the person asking for it so it's nice. -
Sometimes my hatred for code is so.. overwhelming that I think I need a sabbatical or should even stop altogether.
Let's face it. All code sucks. Just on different levels.
Want to go all bare metal? Love low level bit fiddling. Well, have fun searching for concurrency, memory corruption bugs. Still feel confident? Get ulcers from large C/C++ code base already in production, where something in the shared memory, function pointer magic is not totally right?
So you strive for more clean abstractions, fancy the high level stuff? Well, can you make sense of gcc's template error messages, are you ready for the monad, leaving behind the mundane everyday programmers, who still wonders about the scope of x and xs?
Wherever you go. Isn't it a stinking shit pile of entropy, arbitrary human made conventions? You're just getting more familiar with them, so you don't question them, they become your second skin, you become proficient - congrats you're a member of the 1337.7 -
so my friend and I are canvassing NLEs for our guys at the Post Production squad in our project (we were in charge in infrastructure). We looked at Premiere since it's kinda ok until we found Black Magic Design's Da Vinci Resolve.
First of all, I was suprised with the price. 299 for the Studio Version? Holy fuck, that's cheap as hell! Then there's a free as in free software version which has the core editing features with 1080p rendering. So we grabbed that and kinda suprised it requires postgres but as seeing Resolve having collab and render queues, it makes sense.
Installed them on the PCs the postprods gonna use, they were amazed. We literally saved 500 bucks for an NLE. When they asked how much is it. Our reply was:
"That's free".
and there was silence...
"And it's also 299 bucks for the cooler version".
And silence still ensued.
Guess our guys wasted alot of money on a pipeline that is cheap as hell but more jam-packed than any other NLE found in the market.
Props to you BlackMagic Design. -
I need to make a legacy Java monstrosity asynchronous and came across a class which is currently making me cry blood.
It took our whole team 5 days to figure out how this thing works, including the weekend. At one place, It is adding an empty list, to another list.
The magic here is that if I remove the statement assigning data to the sub list, the data is still somehow being populated in the root list.
This clusterfuck somehow works in single threaded processing, but as soon as I make this multi threaded, all hell breaks loose.
Please send help!!1 -
I know that DI(dependency injection) is probably just another good pattern out there like many others, but dear lord have I been burned on it with acumatica. Acumatica just loves having friggen magic crap everywhere with no damn explanation(*may be in a blog post somewhere but that’s no replacement for good documentation).
I believe they use AutoFac in C# on an asp.net server. They love to utilize reflection and injection and in turn the server takes multiple minutes to startup whilst it dynamically registers everything, as well on any individual pages.
Development is a pain in the ass on this damn system.
I’m constantly having to dive into the damn code using dotpeek to understand what the fuck they are doing and it’s often friggen stupid shit. They like to reinvent the wheel a fair bit.1 -
Just read a rant about webpack and suddenly the hate boiled up again ...
Why is it just so damn annoying to configure?
Just make it like gulp or so where you have an actual idea on the workflow, rather than just throwing in plugins at random and let magic happen without knowing wtf is going on.
Tried to update an ejected Angular4 project to angular 5 ... after 2h i gave up and dropped some stuff to use angular-cli again.3 -
Why is vectorization library faster than hand-written for loops ? I mean, somewhere down the line, the matrices/vectors must be multiplied (or any other operation) and thus be one-by-one (for loop??) calculated and stored.
Why is it then faster to use these libraries than just manually writing for loops all over the place ?
I guess some low level magic (OpenBLAS ?) goes on there but I just don't see it..
P.S. [Would have posted it on stack overflow but I'd be ripped apart so I'm pioneering new ways]8 -
Friday wisdom.
Software is not written. It is rewritten.
After spending 3 days approx. On thinking over a design problem. The first 2 days I was clueless how the problem is going ahead. Today I deleted all classes started again and voila.!! It works like magic and I did it with a TDD approach so got good test coverages too.
P.S. I didn't come up with that line. I got it from a tech talk and now understood it's meaning.3 -
I just released a new Laravel package. The concept behind it is to use PHP for everything, so you no longer have to write HTML, CSS, or JavaScript. No more constant file and context switching. It also allows you to create and use components in the same way you would with JavaScript libraries like React or Vue.
It's called Malzahar. A magic PHP framework. Build reactive web apps without writing HTML, CSS, or JavaScript! Powered by Tailwind, Alpine, Laravel, & Livewire.
- Github Repo - https://github.com/bastinald/...
- Demo Video - https://youtube.com/watch/...
Thanks for checking it out.6 -
(Yes, another one of these)
Can someone please explain why android studio (including emulator, but still) plus a couple of firefox tabs and windows 10 occupy the ~8.7GB of RAM that are 74% of the 12 gigs I have? Especially since summing up the ram in use by applications according to task manager makes it look like only 3gb. Is Android Studio using some dark magic to conceal its RAM usage? What the hell!2 -
WTF?
Just found this code:
"It is assumed that all 'static final String'-Attributes of this class are a key in the property file (which is validated by reflection)."
SO REFACTORING YOUR FUCKING MAGIC NUMBERS WITH A MEANINGFUL CONSTANT MADE THE APP CRASH. ASSHOLE. -
Started playing Skryim again. Playing a pretty big modpack with some really cool mods called: Lost Legacy. It has alternate skills like Pugilist and Unarmored. I can literally punch a bitch with a one shot to death. For some reason this is very satisfying. I wonder what level of my psyche this appeals to. Probably something really animalistic.
These two skills meld really well with playing a mage with no armor. Unarmored skill actually levels faster if you cast an armor spell. So it benefits mages. I also don't have to fumble with weapons with Pugilist.
I had to add Sofia as my follower. Her wit while I punch people to death just fits. I feel like my character is a grumpy old mage that just goes berserk and kills people with his bare hands when upset. Do not disturb my circles, bitch!
I like to name my characters with phonetic names that might mean something else. On the surface it looks like an RPGish character name. But contains another meaning, often vulgar. This character is no different. I have named him: "Rehkuuf". An old Breton bitch of a magic user. Whose only care is learning and acquiring power. I imagine this character doing anything to this cause. Definitely a ends justifies the means kind of person. I am thinking of making him notorious in at least one hold. Not sure which one. So every time I return to the hold I have to kill every guard. Punch a bitch time!
One goal I just thought of: Punch a dragon to death.1 -
This is !dev as fuck but does anyone know something like a book recommendation engine? There are a ton for movies and anime, but couldnt find a good one for books. The best would be one where i input some books and fonds me similar ones.
Alternatively, im looking for dark fantasy books where magic is negligible and potentially has assassins in it, if anyone knows good ones.10 -
Dude GoogleAuth is pure nonsense magic. On one line you get your auth-instance from gapi.auth2.init..
But then you render the auth-button with a static method aka gapi.signin2.render (which has some kind of success and error handlers, but don't worry, they fire randomly, they won't help you debug this api mess)
SOME-FUCKING-HOW this static signin2.rendershit knows of your auth2 instance and it works. But actually it makes no sense and is just a big mess of api-calls. Google, get your shit together, this ain't pretty.
Oh and forget your informative console.log.. this shit will get erased everytime you try something because of "Navigated to https://accounts.google.com/o/...". why ever the fuck this clears the console even tho it doesn't affect the top window. So preserve that fucking log and drown in a mass of bullshit.
In the end, as it is with everything, it somehow works. But FFS that's some weird api design Google has going on..4 -
It's a good intention if you want to separate your code in logical units and split it into multiple methods, but could you please stop handing the control flow through about 20 methods before even really starting with the actual logic? This mess is 10 times as long as it needs to be, because someone decided to make everything go through 10 "validate one little thing" methods for every method with actual logic!
Edit: DevRant didn't allow me to post first, now I've analysed the code a bit more and the control flow actually goes out of a specialised class into a generalised class and back (not by returning, but by calling the specialised class from the general one) and the parameter that says what specialised class to call gets written into a class variable, then read from there and passed as a method argument, then back into another class variable, then the code changes it up a bit as a local variable, then passses it as a method parameter again... First it seemed like it knew what class to call using black magic, but no, it actually just hid the fact really well that it did in fact pass the class reference through in multiple forms from beginning to end. -
I'm so down that i didn't see the red circle with the cross to add a rant...
Why is that? Because several month ago i began a job with all my motivation & optimistic mood.
I was so glad that a compagny payed attention to my profil that it was the best day of my life. I wanted to improve myself and learn!
At this point i did'nt know yet that i will began to work with assholes.
In this fantastic world, designers are kings and you have to do magic to adapt one of their stupid static design on web.
Because the suprem king is the client and designs are validated.
And don't even ask for an fonctionel analysis they will laught at you!
I did everything that i could do to make things work, fast and good. One time i managed the end of a project all by my self (like said once Celine Dion). I maked the work of my colegue who was on holiday because she left with unfinished work. She said to me "it's easy". She liked to say that i maked lost her time because of my questions and that i need to search the answer by myself & work more and more and more. So i worked, day & night because i didn't have enough time. And other thing is that some persons loved to say "if you don't do that someone will need to do that for you"!
I'm a junior developer and i had acces to staging and prod environements and crashed it both several time... I needed to develope in one year the experience of a senior developer.
Every thing is my fault because i need to pay attention to things that i ignore.
Today i'm not glad, i learned a few things but can't remembered it because things went o fast for me and i can't memorized everithing. All i know is that i'm just happy to still be able to get out from bed.3 -
Oh, here's an environment variable that needs to be set in order to work, not mentioned at all in the documentation, only found when your CI/CD fails, blah blah blah i'm an ignorant human who doesn't give a shit enough or have enough pride in my job to write proper documentation
meanwhile managers and "product types" - we don't care about documentation, just being faster and that newest AI blockchain chatbot that we need now even though we don't understand the first damn thing about it, slop slop barf barf
Source, not a small at all org: it's the docker orb: https://circleci.com/developer/...
You need to set the docker password as an environment variable, its not just an amazing 3 step magic wand as the 'steps' suggest
yawn
but you know what? waste my time, as well as all the other developers down the road, that's just how it is these days you know2 -
I'm doing a project for uni in Omnet (C++ framework that should facilitate working with networks of queues, simulating and displaying statistics).
I needed to retrieve a random value from an exponential distribution, and the function to do so requires a random number generator as input. The framework has 2 implementations of the RNG and I picked the first one.
I spent 3 hours trying every possible thing, using both the exponential() function and its class wrapper (both provided by the framework), it was always returning 0 or NaN.
The RNG was spitting out values correctly, so I thought it was okay.
When I was almost ready to give up, I figured I could try and change to the second implementation of RNG, expecting nothing to change. And it fucking worked.
Zero reports on this behavior on Google, no apparent reason why it would work with one and not with the other when the two RNGs literally implement the same abstract class and spit out the same exact numbers... Just black magic...
Oh and cherry on top, it works with the raw function but not with the class wrapper on that same function... IF YOU GOTTA IMPLEMENT SOMETHING IN YOUR DAMN FRAMEWORK THAT DOESN'T WORK, FUCKING DON'T! 1 combination working out of 4 is not good! Or at least document it!
Sorry just had to share my pain -
Crypto. I've seen some horrible RC4 thrown around and heard of 3DES also being used, but luckily didn't lay my eyes upon it.
Now to my current crypto adventure.
Rule no.1: Never roll your own crypto.
They said.
So let's encrypt a file for upload. OK, there doesn't seem to be a clear standard, but ya'know combine asymmetric cipher to crypt the key with a symmetric. Should be easy. Take RSA and whatnot from some libraries. But let's obfuscate it a bit so nobody can reuse it. - Until today I thought the crypto was alright, but then there was something off. On two layers there were added hashes, timestamps or length fields, which enlarges the data to encrypt. Now it doesn't add up any more: Through padding and hash verification RSA from OpenSSL throws an error, because the data is too long (about 240 bytes possible, but 264 pumped in). Probably the lib used just didn't notify, silently truncating stuff or resorting to other means. Still investigation needed. - but apart from that: why the fuck add own hash verification, with weak non-cryptographic hashes(!) if the chosen RSA variant already has that with SHA-256. Why this sick generation of key material with some md5 artistic stunts - is there no cryptographically safe random source on Windows? Why directly pump some structs (with no padding and magic numbers) into the file? Just so it's a bit more fucked up?
Thanks, that worked.3 -
That feeling when you are debugging and java keeps throwing exceptions everywhere for the whole day, and just when you are about to turn off the pc and are resigned to go home with a code full of bugs, decide to launch the program one last time and Everything compile and works properly 😍
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*weekend *
*traveling *
*accidentally caught up with one of our marketing guys at a customer meeting in a public place *
*selling one of our POS *
*at the end of the presentation *
customer : the price is too high!!
*price was actually too high as of my knowledge about market. i was about leaving *
*our guy appears with a magic wand and makes 3 versions of that POS which I also developed as a part of team and i don't know of*
our guy: come on!! it's just the full enterprise version that i showed u. we have more blah blah versions. u don't need this, this and that. i think this blah version will suit ur needs well nd it costs lesser.
*nd sold*
*i was like wat the fu......*😲 -
I feel like time is short.
Things about to get real.
Make sure essentials are stocked.
Stay away from DC.
Get right with whatever you believe in.
Help your neighbor.
I don't have a magic ball.
I don't know if things will be good or bad.
But change is upon on.
Ready or not.
I pray to God he forgives us.
I wish the hardest thing in life was writing code.
I wish the world I was taught about when I was young was the real world.
Maybe if things go well it could be.
Look up, pray, and realize you are not alone.
I shall not fear the dark of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day.
Cheers!2 -
TIL following two lines are NOT the same in JS with webpack, even though logically they should be - it should be just an application of an eta reduction... First line works, second one crashes, probably because mysteriously executed too soon, before obj is initialized.
export const t = (...args) => obj.t(...args);
export const t = obj.t;
Sometimes I really hate JavaScript magic.2 -
I've just exported my flutter app using the magic codemagic and they sent me the versions, but the question is how can convert the .app format from the IOS version to .ipa cuz it's not working by directly rename it.
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* coughing *
* singing mode on *
For the first time in deployment
There'll be magic, there'll be fun!
For the first time in production
I could notice there's an exception
And I know it is totally crazy
OK Bye -
"Please provide steps to reproduce" seems to be the catch-22 when people try and kick up a fuss about a bug I'm certain doesn't exist.
It's funny because then they report the bug, they word it like I've ruined their life, that can simply cannot continue to function until this error is fixed, yet those simple magic words "Provide steps to reproduce" seems to put their prioritise back into perspective or at the least scares them back into the void from which they came. -
I never stop being amazed by how one of your people call and say "client X is stuck they can't do shit omg omg top tier emergency" and when you ask them what's the issue they say "well idk they didn't say anything, how are you gonna fix it?" as if i had a magic wand and could fix everyone's problems with a snap of my fingers and understanding what's happening with literally 0 details.
Turns out 1 minute later the "issue" was due to the customer being dumb, software was more than fine and running correctly 🤔 -
It is amazes how much brain can be wasted with react.
In those 7hours (impressed myself by my bullshit withstanding), it took me 20min to understand a fucking api and how objects relate altogether, 1h to make the tut
and 5+fucking hours to understand how to plug the components.
I did use vue and backbone before and am 5y nodejs user.
seriously react is a bag of shitty magic.
I don't even want to try to read the code source yet, this could be the fatal move...
Oh. and also. people have to stop with jsx, it is so so so wrong. new syntax with new errors just for a fucking syntaxic sugar for saving a pair of parenthesis!!!!
like it matters after having installed 1e2+ MB of dependancies for a SPA of 10 components...
The only thing we miss is a react IDE to support JSX. #wheregoesthefront
And I am not even to the point of data flow and pubsub hells which i will be sure will be gold as well8 -
I hate the fucking Spring WebFlux and the goddamn Project Reactor on which it depends!
Even debugging a simple CRUD microservice with simple business logic is such a pain in the ass, exception handling has a lot of "magic" implicit stuff which makes me waste hours in fucking trial & error and I have to use very little breakpoints because if a request is paused for more than few seconds it gets terminated.
I love functional programming but why shove it in fucking Java making me waste 90% of my time in trying to guessing what the fucking framework is doing, why not just use Scala which runs in the JVM? We don't even need compatibility with legacy code since it's a greenfield project!
And before you ask yes, I read a fucking book about Project Reactor and Java reactive programming and a lot of docs on Spring, Spring Boot and Spring Web Flux.2 -
All of my programming knowledge (more like 95% of it) have been gathered by myself. I've started learning during secondary school - the basics everyone has to go through. But it was so awesome that I wanted more. So I've started digging through vast space of internets and books only to find that I know very little. I've had help in the university and high school (the other 5%), but it wasn't enough.
The best thing is - the feeling has never worn off. And I still want more, because it feels like learning magic - the only difference is magic doesn't exist 😃 -
I go to add a method call in a business logic class that's used exclusively in a particular service, and get blocked in the PR by some other guy-
Other Guy: refactor this into the shared framework referenced by all our microservices
Me: it is only and would only be used in this service
OG: what about the other business logic class in this service?
Me: it's not used there, and if it does end up used there then we can refactor it into a class that they both reference then
OG: I need to know when the abstraction of this function will be done. is it going to be delivered next sprint?
Me: YAGNI - better to avoid doing extra work when we don't know if we'll even need it
OG: tbh you can still abstract it with some generics and lambda magic, but im not gonna enforce that
Me: premature abstraction is the root of all evil (tongueout)
OG: not really, its the root of not having a million miles of tech debt in 2 years
I just can't win for losing with the anti-YAGNI yogi.1 -
Wow Go is awesome, throwing some of its magic and making data ingestion that took one minute plus and make it run under 3 seconds.
Feels good -
fuck it, im giving my users permanent access tokens, because for some reason using refresh tokens is black magic to the internet -.-7
-
Family - "You might be a great coder, but if you dont have a degree, you wont get respect"
Overall, my brother and family are very supportive. only thing i dont like is their strong thrust to get me graduated and pass the exam, despite my negative interest in the course i am enrolled into.
I am into programming, not because of money, that is flowing around it, or the present day trend. Infact programming was not my field of interest, even though I was always interested in computers and machines. My first choice was to become a mechanical engineer. But i got enrolled into Electronic communication course.
Only after sophmore year, i started getting interest in programming.
Programming, to me is a very powerful tool. You can create what you want.
Programs, when works, Feels like magic -
My team has a pathological need to NOT comment! What the fuck!! I think it is because a lot of it is actually magic, so they don't want to admit ignorance. My code is full of "not sure why it works, but breaks when removed." Chunks. That way, when debugging, I actually know what is going on????
I am currently going through and editing someone else's code, and I see code that has no clear purpose, even when removed! Does it do something I don't see??? Does it do nothing?? Fuck! -
Why is it that people volunteer on behalf of developers!?? For anything remotely technical!
No we're not a "tool" for you to use! Or a "magic wand" to make your problems disappear! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! -
The magic Apple Support:
A few days ago, I suddenly couldn't login to iCloud on my mac. I thought it was something that would be gone if I would try turning it back off and on again. Didn't work. Used the mac without bothering about it. I was too lazy to call the Apple Support and it didn't annoy me that much.
A day later, suddenly Spark (my email client) didnt work either, it asked me all the time to re-login into one of the accounts but "an authentication error occured". At that point I thought it was a problem with the keychain. Because i don't use email that often and the last time I should pay 30€ if I wanted to call Support (out of warranty), I just started using email on my phone.
Yesterday, MS Office (yes I use it and I like this Microsoft Product and I'm an Apple fanboy) wouldn't login either. I didn't call them.
Today, I had finally time to call them. They didn't want to charge me since I selected an Apple-Id Problem (and I think the Support Hotlines are free to call idk). The call from Ireland came 2 times and the connection didn't work (thanks iPhone). The third time, the moment the Support guy said Hello iCloud worked. A few second later Office and Spark worked again too. I don't know how these coincidences happen. Anyway, I am just happy my stuff works again and I don't have to use Google Docs and write my mails on my phone. -
Am I in developer hell already? A shitty project is about to come to an end (hopefully), or should I rather say: It needs to come to an end. But I am still quite lost in how to deal with it, hence procrastinating on it - making the deadline come closer and with it the realization that I'll probably have to rewrite almost everything. I'm not sure how, but I do know that the current code is a dumpster fire.
Basically what I need to do is dealing with the APIs of different payment providers/gateways (like PayPal, AmazonPay). For most cases I'll get a payment ID from the shop and need to act on it later, e.g. capture the authorized money in the case of a credit card transaction or do refunds (without user interaction, unless there is an error). Now at first I put something together where I try to abstract the payment information into two tables:
orders{1}<->{0..n}payments
payments{1}<->{1..n}paymentDetails
Unfortunately trying to abstract the different payment methods and to squeeze them (and their different possible stati and functions) in these tables was not very successful, it's a total mess with magic numbers, half-broken behavior and without any consideration for partial payments/captures or unfinished requests (i.e. if there is an exception before the response is dealt with, there is no indication that anything has ever been sent). Also the current amount is calculated through the history of the paymentDetails table, which basically works differently for each payment type.
How to fix this mess in a way that I'll still have a job by next week?
I'm trying to improve the db schema first, as I think my biggest problems are lying there. Through some research I've come across a recommendation for making payment type specific subtables (with a magic number/string in the main table to prevent having to look up all subtables). That way I can record what I send and receive without having to abstract it too much, so I'll have an acceptable transaction log. The paymentDetails table can be removed (necessary fields go to the payments table). The payments table gets multiple fields for the amount (differentiating between open, authorized, captured, processing and refunded values) and always reflects the current status.
Tables:
payments
paymentRequestsPaypal
paymentRequestsAmazonpay
paymentRequestsXyz
I think I'm going in the right direction here. hm. Maybe there's some light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. Or a train. I'll have two days to find out.question kill me already send help thank you for being my rubber duck payment gateways deadline approaching rant/question burnout6 -
I had a colleague, who built a bunch of smaller systems for the company I'm working in. He didn't want to waste his time building a "perfect" system (which I generally agree with, the question is just where to draw the line).
But because it took him so long to build the prototype, usually it went into production without being hardened (like basic input validations were missing. It wouldn't allow anything malicious, but instead of a validatiom error it'd just 500).
When he left, literally less then a week later, one of his systems, which was a prototype and nobody except him could maintain, because it was done in a fancy new technology, which wasn't even v1 at that time and their documentation said, it's production ready when we release v1. Anyway, that one system started crashing just few days after him leaving. Another Dev and me tried to fix it, but every time we touched it, it just got worse.
At some point, we gave up and just configured a cron job to reboot it every 12h. He could have probably fixed it, but to us it was just black magic.
Anyhow, this rent isn't about him, AFAIK all the systems still working, as long as you provide the correct input. Nor is it about the management decisions, which lead to this Frankenstein service on live support, which we had to increase, to be restarted every 8 hours, 6h, 4h, 3h, .....
It's about the service itself, which I'm looking forward to every day, when the rewrite will be done and I can nuke the whole git repository.
I was even thinking about moving all the related files onto a USB stick and putting that on 🔥, once we're done rewriting it....
Maybe next month or in 2. Hopefully before we'll have to configure the cron job to restart the service every couple minutes.... -
Why oh why it's so fucking hard to update perl on gentoo!?
It just shows how broken portage as become.
And everyone seems to have it's own magic incantation of emerge/qlist
Fucking fuck piece of shit gentoo is becoming2 -
what the f....
So I'm making some changes to my setup. I'm relieving my current router from its duties and retiring it as a mini PC for my desktop setup. And I got my hands on a Dell Optiplex that will become my new router.
Now, firstly, the Optiplex came w/o a wifi antenna. I booted it up into a LinuxMint install USB for the first time and didn't expect much from it, but to my surprise, I got a popup: "There are wifi networks available". At that spot there was also my Fenvi PCI wifi card's antenna of my current (soon-to-be-previous) PC and it was barely seeing any wifi, and there came Optiplex with NO antenna attached to it and it managed to maintain stronger and more stable signal. wtf....
Alright, it's Fenvi, it's chinese -- there's probably not much I should expect from it.
Then I hooked it up right next to my current router with an external USB wifi adapter having 4x6dBi antennas on it, serving as my current wifi AP. Trying out hostapd configs, searching for the right channels,... should I test it? Naah, it still doesn't have an antenna - it won't reach my laptop. Meeh, for shits and giggles! `hostapd -d /etc/hostapd/hostapd_custom.conf`, on my lappy `nmcli d wifi rescan; sleep 5; nmcli d wifi` and... wtf... To my surprise, the AP was there! A thick wall away, no antenna whatsoever, and I still could connect to that Optiplex AP and post this rant!
What magic is this??? I'm now a bit concerned about ordering an antenna for it - I'm worried it could either worsen the signal or make it so strong that it'll fry my brains overnight.4 -
So worked myself into stupor for a react-native app(first -time). It is the client part for large system ecosystem. Was rough at first but after initail field test and refactor to the code base it is in 95% stable form. This all happend in 2 months. During this time co-workers build rest of system in node and other backend magic sauce 👩💻 .
My app has sibling app to collab with. I make a note (early in the development of this sibling app) that the ui is not working for the use case and get in a heated debate with co-workers. Concede 🙌 that it is not my part of the system and leave it to them, they blame the fact that no design was given. Fast forward to yesterday I get munched by client that wants to showcase the system to large company and has to struggle with sibling app. I tell him it is something "we" would look at in the next cycle ( covering for my coworkers) .
I feel shit and year now starts off with crappy feeling that all my hard work to get my app to decent version of itself is lost☠️ . -
Rust's Fn traits feel weird. The argument tuple is a generic parameter, but the return type is an associated type, even though Rust is supposed to use Hindley-Milner type inference, so inferring through return type should always fail if this were a regular trait.
Then, this would mean that blanket implementations for Fn(T) and Fn(T, U) should conflict because AnyTrait<(T)> and AnyTrait<(T, U)> aren't mutually exclusive. I tried, they work just fine.
There's some weird and I suspect unnecessary special case magic here, and I'd like to uncover it.17 -
The amazon music app.
I don't know what's more annoying. Is it the general shittiness of it, the way they've made trying to find anything into some kind of fucked up magic mushroom experience?
Or is it the fact that they've intentionally made it shit because their marketing knobheads think that'll make people buy subscriptions?
Or is it the fact that the marketing knobheads are probably right?
It actually makes economic sense for them to turn their app into a steaming, heaving pile of shit, because millions of people will buy a subscription in direct response to the shitness of the app.
Stop making me swim through shit, you motherless son-of-a-bitches, and I might actually buy stuff.
But that doesn't matter, because enough people will buy stuff *because* you're making them swim through shit.3 -
I need advice fellow developers, am I stubborn?
So I lost an argument in my team regarding constant vs variable directly in a method for stored procedure names.
I separated names of procedures into their own StoredProcedureConstants file because it makes it very easy to see all procedures used in a project and refactor their names if necessary. Argument against was that you loose time creating a constant. Am I silly if I am alergic to seeing quotation marks stuff without its designated purpose throughout the code?
Their way is adding var procedureName = "cc.storeProcedureName" directly in a method. I just can't find my peace with it. To me this is a magic string.
Am I being unreasonable?3 -
I hate when application is lying to me. For example when it says my message has proper length, in this case maximal allowed length (showing 0 characters remaining), but then throws some random error message like "Your comment is probably blank.". But when I apply some magic, like when I remove 2* characters from it, suddenly it's working as expected. (Removing 1 character isn't working, hence the magic.)
PS: This does devRant Android app and web version as well. -
thoughts on the Apple Magic Mouse? is it worth it if you use a Mac for work? I'd definitely get a generation old one where the charging port isn't on the fucking bottom if I were to get one lmfao6
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I still remember that afternoon when I was in 9th grade, it was raining outside, I entered in the lab for the first time, and there she was sitting alone, shining like a dew drop. I could not resist, and I sit with her for a while, we talked, we touched, and the magic happened. that was the day and today is the day, no one can take us apart. We are like made for each other. That was for the first time I touched a machine, and never looked back. The endless possibilities with programming, and desire to fulfil the everlasting thirst of creativity and problem solving made a developer/programmer/mathematician/physicist.
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I was signing up for a new account on Magic. I wasn't paying attention so I accidentally didn't change my date of birth, so it didn't let me create an account because they thought I was just born today. I changed that field but nope, it remembered I had told it I was 1 day old and it didn't let me change my mind. Delete cookies, nothing. Reload page, nothing. So I go into Postman and re-create the request and BOOM! I even got an access token for their API. This is why I love being a dev.
-
!dev
The moment i heard, that there is a magic artifact in starfield, i audibly sighed and thought, yeah no thanks. It apparently gives the character magic abilities..
Now i feel basically the same, like when they introduced dragons in the elder scrolls universe with skyrim. Incidently i never really played Skyrim.
Otherwise that game looks kinda cool. But 70€ (100€ for deluxe) is too much for 30h mainstory imo.3 -
Once a React aficionado, twice the frustration we endure,
In the realm of libraries, React's problems seem impure.
With Svelte's elegance and grace in our sight,
Let's vent about React, as day turns into night.
Boilerplate Overload, a monotonous affair,
Classes, constructors, lifecycle steps we declare.
In Svelte's simplicity, we find a breath of fresh air,
Just markup and magic – a coder's love affair.
Complex State Management, React's Achilles' heel,
Redux, Mobx, and their massive code appeal.
Svelte's state handling is a cinch, for real,
No more tangled webs of logic to conceal.
Unnecessary Re-Renders, React's performance woe,
Countless updates, like a never-ending show.
Svelte updates what's needed, like a pro,
Efficiency and speed, in its radiant glow.
Verbose Syntax, JSX's verbosity on display,
HTML in JavaScript, causing dismay.
Svelte's concise template syntax lights our way,
No more endless tags, just code that's here to stay.
Lack of Truly Reactive Behavior, React's hurdle high,
Hooks to wrangle, state to satisfy.
Svelte's reactivity, no need to question why,
It just works, oh my, oh my.
Ecosystem Complexity, React's sprawling sprawl,
Choices galore, making us bawl.
In Svelte's world, simplicity is the call,
A coherent ecosystem, it has it all.
Learning Curve, React's mountain to climb,
Classes, hooks, context, a hill of time.
Svelte's gentle curve feels sublime,
A smoother path to code, so fine.
Tooling Overkill, React's complex array,
Build tools, linters, configs in disarray.
Svelte's streamlined setup leads the way,
No more intergalactic code buffet.
Debugging Headaches, React's mysterious realm,
Complex state, intricate components overwhelm.
Svelte's predictable model, a soothing helm,
Debugging becomes a peaceful realm.
In the end, React, a complex labyrinth we explore,
Svelte's elegance and simplicity we adore.
If only React could learn, its problems to deplore,
A brighter future, for React we'd implore.3 -
yo so wtf opengl doing over there
all I can find on "APIENTRYP" is that it's "macro magic that makes everything work" but it's breaking fucking everything. I remove it and it works again (well, kinda, i still gotta fix some typing horseshit)
why is opengl in shambles i just wanna compile gdi -
"Sometimes I’m amazed that I spend my days creating magic and fantasy and that people buy it. It’s like connecting with the inner child in me; I’m just having a great time, and I’m chuckling to myself that this is really happening, that I can do this with my life." - Lita Albuquerque
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Right guys and gals, I need your opinions.
Recently was approached by a recruiter who thought I’d be a good fit for a role, a role that is a step up from senior dev but without moving into people / project management.
More like a bridge between architects and senior devs.
I thought what the hell, why not. So I agreed to go for it.
It could be quite a decent payrise (though that wasn’t my motivation for going for it) and I like the idea of doing more mentoring, design and research than I do now. It would involve stuff like learning new tech, coming up with examples and implementations of how the dev team need to use it to churn out user stories.
For the last few years I’ve been mainly a back end developer, which didn’t start by choice and I always liked to be full stack.
But the recruitment process for this role has been quite slow (number of reasons) and since then I’ve been given a new piece of work at my current employer doing some greenfield angular work, plus the c# back end.
I’m really, really enjoying this angular work. Haven’t done it for a while and it feels great to get back into it. Seem to be picking it back up with no problems, like the old magic is still there.
Also the money at my current place is good enough.
So now I’m wondering if I should bail on this other role in favour of seeing this out and maybe going back to being full stack (tho for reasons I’ll outline below in the long term that might have to be elsewhere)
But I’m also trying to remind myself that up until enjoying this work there’s a reason I decided to go for this other role.
Current place is a small company that has no project management process. It’s chaos, and everything’s an emergency. There are no requirements for anything, not enough people etc. No one has a clue how to run an IT project.
The one thing we do have is good development practices in our team and we have been greenfield for the last 12 months working on a new product. But we do tend to be pigeon holed into looking after a specific service/area.
But this new place if I got the role, is a bigger company (I’ve worked in small, medium and massive companies so I know what the difference is like), they’re a household name, they have resources for learning, putting people through aws certs, etc. They give people time each week to invest in themselves. Much more agile.
And thinking about it now you don’t often see a role that allows you to ‘move up’ without having to take on people/project management and still having time to be hands on.
(Just maybe more hands on with strategic work than delivering user stories for business as usual)
So just in general, what do you think? -
Hummm(flash back)... I was studying art and design when I've decided to become a web designer, but by the time it came to take my degree also took some frontend languages and them(big explosion and fireworks) it was like magic, I could design and give life to my creations!!! 6 years later still is magic(not the rainbow and unicorns type) ...you know dam well i am talking to you javascript(and your dam post apocalypse bugs)... 😁😁😁 still wouldn't imagine my self doing anything else!
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You can call me a noob developer, but I still think its magic when your code doesn't work. So you step through your code to see what's wrong. But you can't see it. So you just hit continue just to see your code is now working3
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Make an ASP .NET application for job interview take home assignment.
Try to use docker with it.
Runs fine through Visual studio (not code)
I declare is working and submit to organization but say it can run through docker-compose up.
I get reply that even the basic command doesn't work.
Turns out visual studio does some magic mapping or caching under the hood that I couldn't find in any config in the project and somehow gets it to work, but when running without Visual studio it doesn't have that magic context shit and thus running through terminal fails.
Obviously a lot is my fault for assuming what works through IDE would run through terminal without testing, but I will be angry with VS to make myself feel better >.>2 -
I feel a little sorry for all illustrators and gig-creators of visual things out there. And yet I feel uplifted in spirit at the same time with the new era of midjourney that has just started.
It’s incredible!
Maybe you don’t understand if you are not in software.
It’s a giant leap of such magnitude that it is impossible to comprehend the entire scope of this revolution…
Small gig:ers get their money from very small and small businesses who can’t afford anything else. They are expert digital artists. The excel in being productive and can conceptualize a thought or idea in hours…
These hours have now been removed. Not all. But some. For the entire industry, this is billions of dollars I am sure.
So, they need to adapt to this new realm that we are entering.
It’s just… I mean, I can’t even realize it myself and I have played with prompting now for weeks and months… And it’s just 2023. /imagine what will be possible in 2030. 2050. If we survive.
I created a man (a hedge-fund manager) out of thin air. He stands in the super-market, looking tired, it’s evening… He has had a long day at the office…
And-he-does-not-exist.
And it took me five minutes. A rendering of such sort would probably take at least a day for an expert illustrator in photoshop or whatever.
Now, everyone will use this. You got this everywhere very, very soon. Including the gig expert illustrators! The thing is… I can’t draw a straight line but with text I can conjure up pretty much anything.
It’s magic.
That is what it is. I know it isn’t but it feels like it. For people without software skills it must feel even more like an illusion…
Need twelve icons of bumblebees illustrations to be used as icons on your new web site (as images)? Takes five minutes. An hour at most until you are satiesfied. In specific color ranges? You got it…
That shit cost like $99 bucks before if you needed to own them. And it took a week.
A revolution!
What fantastic times we live in!
And sad times and great opportunities for all visual artists out there.
(I am not at all worried for the dev industry. This will be SO fun!)5 -
How do you handle error checking? I always feel sad after I add error checking to a code that was beautifully simple and legible before.
It still remains so but instead of each line meaning something it becomes if( call() == -1 ) return -1; or handleError() or whatever.
Same with try catch if the language supports it.
It's awful to look at.
So awful I end up evading it forever.
"Malloc can't fail right? I mean it's theoetically possible but like nah", "File open? I'm not gonna try catch that! It's a tmp file only my program uses come oooon", all these seemingly reasonable arguments cross my head and makes it hard to check the frigging errors. But then I go to sleep and I KNOW my program is not complete. It's intentionally vulnerable. Fuck.
How do you do it? Is there a magic technique or one has to reach dev nirvana to realise certain ugliness and cluttering is necessary for the greater good sometimes and no design pattern or paradigm can make it clean and complete?15 -
Okay fine now enough is enough
Yes I declared and assigned the variable after calling the function and it's usage, and yes I copied it directly from a tutorial which had snippets everywhere, and yes I was blind and it took me 4 hours to find this bug, while eating chocolate but that's not important (c'mon I deserve a chocolate) and yes I found it immediately when I was posting a question about it on Stack Overflow.
But please JavaScript, why can't you do some magic find the variable in the whole script?1 -
Hasn't technology become magic - and we ignorant sorcerer's apprentices who can perform a video call to the other side of the globe perhaps while we understand only some bytes of the thousands software snippets that were piled up by us code monkeys to perform the miracle? ...
This however has always been the state of software (for us developers): that this house of cards needs constant care by our hands to not collapse - in constant fear we may preserve the facades while the number of components that interact, the sheer mass of code only allow for guesswork and hotfixes accumulating the technical debt. Yes, we have all that terms for that. The problems are known since the 80s or 60s, so we might be relabeling it once in a while, but mainly it is just: complexity.. or entropy.2 -
Consider an API that uses the HTTP path to represent position in a tree that literally represents a file tree with minimal constraints, and GET/PUT/DELETE methods to read, write and destroy the nodes. How would you encode read/write operations to per-node metadata? The kinds of metadata are static and around 4, so inventing HTTP verbs for each of them is infeasible but filtering is not necessary.
Options considered so far:
- toplevel resources alongside a namespaced /data such as /acl, /lock
- magic keywords to the Range header (this is apparently compliant)
- mimetypes such as text/plain+acl
- SETPROP / PROP methods in the spirit of WebDAV
- headers (I worry this may become an immitigable bottleneck really fast)
I'm looking for any kind of suggestion or insight, not perfect answers.
I read the WebDAV specification and I won't even suggest that I'm trying to align with it, the only protocol I'd seen in the past with comparable scope bloat is WebRTC.22 -
is laravel app really enjoyable to write ?
i started as a laravel dev. the known story , all code in controllers etc. As i started to improve, fortunately i changed company, and worked with a symfony project. A symfony that looked like java. hundreds of classes, tests, yaml injections , objects for requests, for everything.
I thought that i missed the old laravel days, and i took an extra job on laravel again. I was soooo wrong.
It was not only that the code of the previous dev was inferior to what i am now used, it is that i have to be with an open documentation all the time. Even if the project is in the same version that i have used to earlier (an old one).
You have to check all the time the model settings, the migration, the magic tricks of model mass insert, the castings, the validation rules, why the tests are not finding some routes, why this, why that, how it is written this.
Excuse me, but i think the fun and easiness is far from what they say and what i thought it was. I start to change my mind and believe that inserting the request to a simple php object is more controllable than the gandalf tricks that laravel is doing, and you cannot know if it is worth your time to test it . And more importantly, you do not have to look at the cookbook, all the time@@@5 -
For those who ever tried to find and/or implement a crm: everything seems to be based on that bastardized vtiger core which is based on an old version of sugarcrm I'm so fucking tired of that shit. I gonna make my own. The underlying framework makes me sick to the bone. Everything in there relies heavily on magic. Being arround for years and just recently got a new major release yet unable to transfer offer items to the invoice even though it requires a relation?
This is not blunt talk. My thing is based on Laravel, EAV principle for dynamic fields, module code structure, interface for the list view and many other stuff is already integrated. This is gonna be done and will be done because existing stuff is so fucking ugly and broken I can't fathom myself.
Btw I still need a name
PS: I hate smarty, PearDb and their fucking database layout -
I made this: https://gitlab.com/snippets/1992288
Spare me if the title makes no sense grammatically, not a native speaker.
I'm building a microservice that keeps a check of the subscribers on my product, I wanted to keep an eye of those subscribers that may be missing the latest payment.
One way to do that is to make it work with my code and some ORM magic, but that may become unsustainable as the customer base grows, another idea that occurred to me was doing it fully inside (?) the database. The solution is to compare how many days have passed since the last payment and right now, if 'right now' is larger than 'last payment' then the subscriber is late with their next payment.
I did this as a PL/pgSQL function with an example usage accompanying that code.
Now, I just need to figure out how to use the result of those calculations in a WHERE statement...2 -
Spring roo by a country fucking mile, it tries to do too much magic under the bonnet, it creates files which if you modify it gg from me and gg from him (two Ronnie's), if you generate html forms with it takes less than half a beer to either SQL inject or xss it and worst of all it has one of those names that no-one can take seriously.
My advice avoid it like the syphilitic donkey it is. -
Alright so this is just me throwing my thoughts down from today cause I need some outlet.
Gonna start programming a lot more than I do now cause I want to improve and I enjoy it.
I started my JavaScript course and that's going well so far. I need to figure out a way to make the info stick. I'm gonna def use the projects from each day as resources though.
I need to practice python (which I'm good with) occasionally so I dont lose my magic touch. I was thinking of doing a project on a raspberry pi that uses a camera for object/facial recognition and picking projects like that and occasional small ones I do in js.
Although theres still a lot I have to learn on the DOM side of js. I dont want to be a front end dev cause I dont have that artistic eye so I'm mostly gonna use it for node and small front end stuff
But mostly I need to be able to grasp more from tutorials, examples, courses, etc. And understand how and when and why I should use whatever it is.
Also I wanna use someones code to learn but it's never documented well enough for me to know what's happening I'm mostly referring to when theres a library or api I'm unfamiliar with.
Also JS is getting a little boring so hopefully python will help dull that feel6 -
Had a hell of a week trying to convince a client that "Case Sensitivity" is a real thing in programming languages.
So there was some typo in some third party code which client had provided which was not giving the accurate results, but the client was not ready to listen. I asked him to get the variable rectified from the 3rd party from
var1 to Var1
But he somehow had a notion in the back of his mind that the 3rd party could never ever be wrong and it was surely I who had screwed up the code and he won't even bother the other team.
He was all like "I don't understand anything remotely connected with coding, but do explain me why is this not working ?" (His exact words)
Me (thinking): umm, WTF !!!
After to and fro for the whole damn week, finally able to convince him ( I guess, still doubtful) after giving the video and link of a jsfiddle showing him all the freaking magic of caseSensitivity! -
My current distractions are the need for keltfest and castlefest. I can hardly wait for them. Aside from those two, at work there are hardly any distractions but when it comes to personal projects... yeez where to start?
- magic the gathering
- tv shows
- youtube
- planning furniture creation
- movies
- games
- playing the guitar
This is probably because I don't own a desk. Will create one within the next two weeks. -
I go through cycles of what I want to work on during my off time. Sometimes I code utilities for video games. Other times I get engrossed in games. One of the games I like to play is Minecraft. Not vanilla Minecraft, but modded Minecraft. It scratches that itch for creativity, fun, relaxing, hanging with people, and technical interest. I am currently playing a medium sized older modpack that has most of the mods I like to play: magic, tech, building tools, dimension building and more.
I am early game on a server with some other people. I already overloaded the server with a population explosion of villagers I am melting down for emeralds. That was interesting. I started automating this and decided to try using ComputerCraft to automate some pieces of this. I stared at the code and just "no, I am not working on my off time". I am going to automate this another way. I used to really like computercraft, but it was code and looked like work. I find that interesting.
Anyway, this is random ass shit I do for fun. Wood house/shack, workroom and ore processing are with no walls, decent small tree farm, and a nuclear reactor in the basement...2 -
Unity is such a load of shit. Why would you have every single tutorial tell you to instantiate a prefab with the Instantitate() method then have it break your game on build because you haven't loaded each individual asset inline. Isn't the magic of this whole process that the editor take care of that shit? Now the project I was sure would be finished by this morning is going to take me AT LEAST another day.1
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Was watching OITNB at home when boss called sounded urgent about SSL not working on one of our subdomains. We use a paid cloud app for some of our reports which. So the subdomain is a CNAME to the providers app subdomain. Recently there was an upgrade at our hosting but it shouldn't be related.
Boss: Hey, there is an error prompt when I visit our reporting site with https
Me: That's cos we never installed any SSL cert for that subdomain.
Boss: Well it worked before and you will need to get it fixed.
Me: Wait.. It worked before? How is that possible? We've never set it up and the subdomain is a CNAME pointing to another site which we don't own. The cert will have to load from their server and we have not done any setup with them.
Boss: I'm very sure it worked before the hosting upgrades. All along our customers has been accessing with https.
Me: Okay.... That's something new because and I am pretty SURE the last I checked, the app provider doesn't allow that yet.
* meanwhile I when to search the app provider docs and it says not able to support multiple SSL yet for CNAME
Me: Look, it says so here in the docs.
Boss: Ok, can you try to fix it as its important for the users to not see that error. It has been working all along.
Me: Hmmmm... I'll get back to you.
How do I fix something that didn't exist / broken?? How did it work before??
I know it can be possible to install the cert on the cloud provider end but we haven't done this before. And their support docs says feature not available yet.
Was it magic?? Am I missing something?? Anyway, I've sent an email to the provider's support team and telling them "it worked before" -
Before trying the hyped up latest hotness:
I can't wait to try Webpack, I hear it's going to solve all my problems.
After:
I FELL FOR IT AGAIN!!! When will I learn nothing is magic and JS knows no god1 -
The holidays are the worst period: since I am the only dev, my boss get into the code, and I receive multiple messages - calls the explain "why this is so bad" and even "when you come back from vacation we need to talk about a lot of problems".
So, everything worked when I was there because of magic, it seems... -
The requestor have responsibility for the conditions under which their request will be fulfilled. There is no "do your magic". The magic is always "ours" to some extent.
Details, directions, focus, clear goal, you name it, there is a shit ton of ways the requestor participates in the success.3 -
My shitting streak has begun again. Fuck. Its cold where i live and in my house. Shitting liquid shit doesnt help because my asshole burns. Its not fun and not enjoyable. Im trying to hold shit inside me but it forces me to shit. And if i shit it burns. Imagine being in a cold -75° weather while your asshole is burning heat at +45°. Why is life such a constant stream of pain and suffering. I write this as i sit on the toilet and fight demons not to shit more in order to prevent pain
Why did our designer invent shitting and thought it was a good idea?
I can think of a better idea: whatever i eat gets dissolved into particles by acid that my body produces like an implosion inside a submarine and transforms into pure energy that my body absorbs and thus makes the body more powerful -- no need to shit it out because its now a bunch of fucking particles!
WHY wouldnt that be a better solution. Shitting is disgusting and makes no sense if this solution is also possible. And for an omniscient all-powerful all-knowing celestial being -- NOTHING is impossible to do.
what we perceive as "magic" is normal to an all-powerful celestial entity. Therefore any thought you can imagine, should be possible to do. Even the idea i just proposed because i proved i could imagine it so it must be possible to create such existence
And as i finish writing off this rant, my asshole burns less and everything is coming back to normal Thank God. The pain was bearly bareable. As a finishing touch of this rant imma go wipe my ass for 100th time today and continue working with nextjs on my project3 -
I believe that there's some evil dark magic in the BEAM that detects if the user or developer is on a non *nix machine and then purposefully throws all kinds of strange errors or just fucking blows itself up for no reason. Take the shit to a *nix machine and it just works like magic and is easy to work with which is part of the reason why I love it and the ecosystem.
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About a month in and I've found that Github copilot code suggestions are like magic half the time. The other half is useless garbage.
However, writing comments has been a dream. 99% of the time it gives the correct description. If anything its worth using for just that.1 -
Okay, I hope a few people can help me with this; what are the benefits/reasons to use MS technologies? I'm talking about .NET, ASP, Windows Server, Powershell...
I've never understood it. I love Nodejs because you don't have any packages unless you ask for them. Alpine Linux is amazing! It runs on 8MB of RAM from fresh and doesn't need much more space to install.
You want .NET core? 140MB download. You're configuring database connection strings? Feel free to type in whatever you like, it'll parse and replace with some magic variables that have come from some other random file.
I was using Powershell recently, needed to set an env variable. Bash is happy with "export name=value". You want to do that in Powershell? I just googled it and found an entire 40-minute read discussing how to set env vars. Why?! It should be one command, and I don't know who thought that "Get-ChildItem" was _obviously_ referring to env variables.
It seems to me that everywhere MS has got their hands on development-wise, it inherits the typical sales bullshit. No no, you can't call them "websockets", they have to be branded "SignalR" and add tons of overhead. You can't say "disable notifications" it has to be "focus assist". I'm really surprised something as simple as a keyboard hasn't become a "varied user input device" or something of the like.
Am I alone in thinking this?4 -
I'm a part designer so I need to have Illustrator/Photoshop on my machines, so I need to have a windows with WSL with ubuntu on it.
All's nice, except sometimes it just ends up in some high level of bug sorcery.
I have a file, let's say, D:/project/image.svg. WSL sees it as /mnt/d/project/image.svg. For some reason, today I reached a point where WSL version was different form the windows one. So I had to literally open the same file twice and copy-paste it from windows to ubuntu. Before that I was trying to commit changes to git from WSL but it didn't see any - and I kept wondering why they don't get updated on the site.
Honestly, I'm at the verge of declaring that programming is actually magic.4 -
SITECORE VS OTHER CMS'S
FIGHT!
Someone I know has been convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that SiteCore is this amazing peice of magic software where you push a few buttons and your wildest dreams come true.
Anytime there's a probem with our other websites (laravel sites or Drupal sites) we get a lecute on how a SiteCore site would do X so much better and how the problem would never happen on a SiteCore instance'
I think it's a little bloated and don't like the tech stack behind it.
What are your thoughts on it? Is it magic ? Should I agree with him and just stop fighting the inevitable?1 -
CEO wants some Genie magic!!!!
I work at a start-up were we have interns from the university go through trainings and mentorship before joing our team. Budget is very tight and spending is unthinkable.
Took me a lot of pains and sleepless night, reading of tech books and lot of strength to be were I am and I still do it because I want more but recently I got into intense coversation with CEO and he wants me to do some genie magic, he is like.....
CEO: we need more hands to do client work and build our products base , why is it difficult for New developers to start working on our code base?
ME: those guys are not developers, there is a big margin between being a developer and a university graduate in the country.
I was wondering after the whole stuff , if those guys can just grab this thing and become genius overnight, well if that happens then I am screwed, it will imply I am an asshole who spent time at simple things but we know this things can be uneasy to wrap your head around especially when the concept or language is new to you, I was pissed up at the meeting and gave some anoying unreasonable options which tells I was angry, at the end that understood my point and we got a way forward and reasonable4 -
Just got assigned a ticket from a client, who described their issue with a very informative note that says:
[site name] keeps timing out
This is actually probably related to another issue I'm trying to fix (though I'm sure client doesn't know that), so if I'm lucky I'll be able to figure this out. But it seriously peeves me when clients give us a four word generic problem and expect us to just wave our magic wand to fix it -
As a developer, staying focused on task is paramount. I listen to all kinds of music with a good BPM to help me either concentrate on my code or the song and nothing else. Recently I have found out about Magic Sword, and it made me wonder, what are y'all listening to these days while slinging code?1
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Blame on ModemManager documenters not specifying any of pre-probing features.
MM is a great project, but I think they lack detailed documentation. Udev is no magic, so don't treat it like snake oil in your documentation! -
Non "dev"-rant, more of a social/relationship/life rant..
Just,, fuck,, my,, life..
Backstory; I have some issues, I'm not normal, socialy, so I finally gave up on life, do just enough to continue providing for my daughter (cause her mother is more fucked up than me), that means letting go of any chance of happiness, dating, the few friends I had and so forth.
The latter simply means that I stop trying to keep em around, because that's how it's always been, and they're all gone, all except one. THE one, the one I work with, the one I fell totally in love with a year ago, the one that is the first and last thing of the day on my mind, the one I had to tell my feelings for, the one that I really need some distance from.. But no. She's the one that won't let me go..
I'm on my way to a concert right now, a concert I tried inviting her to a few months ago, she wasn't interested,, For some reason I opened Instagram right now,, bam, right in my face. Her,, in full makeup, which she never wares, posting a selfie, which she never does..
Whish I could say why life is so fucked, but take my word for it, it just is.. And guess what, After the Christmas holiday, one day in, she probably noticed that something was "off".. and she immediately suggest that we take one of our "dinner dates" next week, and I'd bet that the first question is "you're beeing wierd, what's up?", and all I can say, again, is "can't talk about it".. cause I really can't, anything I say is that much to much..
Fuck!
Yes, this rant is mostly focused on "her", but to get a hold of my state of mind, I've given up, and just accepted that I should never have any kind of social life, cause that's simply best for everyone.
And if you wonder why I'm posting this here, I don't have time for a therapist, and "she" is my PM at work, where I'm THE senior developer.. Every issue that anyone else haven't been able to solve, ends up in my lap. She calls me magic on a daily basis..
Yes, I'm drunk as fuck right now..1 -
Quick question.
I feel like I'm quickly developing a Bitcoin addiction. I've figured out how to backup my wallet to 'The cloud's by saving a file to Google drive in case I lose or spike my phone. Tested it out, it works. Got like 98% faith that the crypto is safe as far as not being able to access it like the dogecoin that's sitting on a phone that I still need to repair the screen of. First it was 20$, then 40$ in the BTC ATM. Felt like magic.
My question is:. Is you're opinion of me stupid?14