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Hey, i want to make a game and i need some help, so I'm looking for a team.
What i need is:
2 programmers
3 graphics artists
2 level designers
1 music composer
2 dialog writers
1 web designer for page and forums
5 testers
What i will do, you ask? Well, I've got some really good ideas. I think the game should be like Final Fantasy, but bigger and better. I worked with RPG Maker for two months, but I'm best with ideas. I think my ideas would make some incred...
GO SHOVE YOUR IDEAS INTO YOUR ASS! The idea means nothing. I got an idea for the best game ever, right this morning while i was taking a SHIT!
Hobby teams need people who create content. And people who can do stuff will more likely work with someone who does stuff as well and has proven that he is able to get things done.28 -
Last night I caught my girlfriend on my phone.....
Reading devRant..
I asked her what she was doing, she replied "I wanted to see what you spend all your time reading, some of this is actually pretty funny.."
❤12 -
My non techie girlfriend :) <3
-----------
She: Hey I am getting a new phone!
Me: which one?
She: Apple I phone
Me: oh cool!
She: yea I am really excited. I can't wait to have more space on my phone. I can't have anything on my current phone.
Me: yup.
She: new phone will have a lot of storage space. Its going to be 64MB. Imagine all the things I can do with it now.
Me: Hey, the 90's called, they want their storage sizes back.
*hilarious laughter ensues*
Dat iPhone crowd doe. Android 4 life.13 -
Me: *Working intently on project*
Gf: "Why are you just googling stuff & copying"
WELCOME TO PROGRAMMING 10111 -
Me: Wanna see this website I built this weekend?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: I connected a bunch of APIs so you can snap a photo of yourself and get a recommended song based on your facial expression. Pretty cool, right?
Friend: *thinking* ... I think you should change the size of that button, and the colors are pretty bad, dude.
Every time I show my non-tech friends anything I get this kind of feedback :/19 -
Non dev co-workers: Dude add us on Facebook.
Me: I don't have Facebook.
Non dev co-workers: Instagram?
Me: I don't use Instagram.
Non dev co-workers: Oook, what about Twitter?
Me: I deactivated my account permanently long ago.
Non dev co-workers: Huh? So what the heck are you always looking at on your phone laughing and stuff?
Me: devRant!
Non dev co-workers: Huh?
Me: DEVRANT!! (*shows them devRant*)
Non dev co-workers: What the heck is that?
One of the co-workers: guys, he's a hacker.
Me: *face palm*5 -
Non dev friend: Do you know “hatamal”?
Me: wtf is hatamal?
Non dev friend: hatamal. Spelled as HTML.
Me: T.T12 -
A typical demo...
Me: We added validation, server communication, caching....
Customer: Meh...
Me: We fixed bugs, sped up queries, implemented X features.
Customer: Meh...
Me: We surpassed the speed of light, transcended to another plane of reality, cured cancer, brought peace to galaxy.
Customer: Meh...
UI Designer: I prepared these sketches for the UI
Customer: Wow, so innovative, look at that beautiful transitions, even mobile design, just wow
Me: * dies *11 -
When you're trying to explain a concept as simple as it can be to your non-dev family and friends, but they're just quietly staring at you.
7 -
I: "Do you have the right version for your architecture?"
He: "What"
I: "Did you download the 64 bit or the 32 bit version?"
He: "I'm not sure but I think it was sth. between 40 and 50!"19 -
Disclaimer: kinda non dev related. Just working to pay the bills right now.
The other day I ran for the train to work, don't want to be fucking late, right?
Arrived and this guy asked me this: (I have a sweating/transpiration problem but I'm fully aware of that)
"hey man, ever heard of fucking showers or deodorant?!"
Yes, I was sweating my ass off and you could smell me but I can't FUCKING help that.
It was very embarrassing and humiliating to get that kinda comment in front of like 30 people but I just swallowed it and went to work.
After the first break, a woman from management came to me and pulled me aside. A few people had complained about how that guy from before said some pretty humiliating stuff to me and she said that the guy received a warning and was told to fucking learn to treat people with respect, regardless of their (health) issues/appearance. I also got an apology and a sorry and if I could keep my eyes open for such behaviour in the future.
I'm very glad that she apologized although it wasn't her fault because I know I've got this health issue and I can't do anything about it yet but it can MOTHERFUCKING hurt when someone talks shit about me when I smell and I CAN'T FUCKING HELP IT BECAUSE THIS IS THE WAY MY BODY WORKS TOO BADLY.
I felt protected and safe about my issue for the first time in my life.
Thanks management!14 -
Dealing with non-techy people is annoying.
Dealing with non-techy people who THINK they are techy is even worse.5 -
Non-dev boss: "so, what are you working on today?"
Me: "I'm working on the API"
Non-dev boss: "that's what you said last week! Why aren't you progressing?"
💢5 -
After trying to explain a problem I was facing at work to a Non-Dev friend of mine
Non-Dev Friend: Why did you even choose to become a developer in the first place?
Me: I didn't choose coding, it choose me!4 -
I just hate how non-developers can easily conclude that we are drug addicts. Just because we talk to ourselves while coding or always seem off/cranky because of the countless sleepless nights. I mean like, please be a bit more considerate. It may seem like it isn't a big deal since it isn't true anyways but it clearly shows that they can't understand our situation.
Try being in the shoes of the misunderstood for a change. You won't like the feeling since all you ever wanted to do was good.5 -
I gave lift to an old man. Starting the conversation
He: what do you do?
Me: I am a software engineer
He: Nice....... where do you get the material to build a software?
Me: mmmmm google or stackoverflow
He: maybe they are new in market, never heard of them5 -
New to this but here's my rant I suppose. It bothers me how "non-tech" people kind of devalue what tech people do. Like they have zero understanding of it, so you make something in 30 minutes or an hour that took years of building said skills and involved complex logic and understanding of relational data and because it only took you 30 minutes or an hour it must have been "easy". Or the way you are everybody's free tech advisor with family and friends... And things are said like "I'm not good with this stuff, but you're so good with it". For the record nobody is just "great" at technology or coding from birth its been a 2+ decade craft that I've experimented with and learned and put effort into. So taking into consideration all this effort I have put in to understand all this you say you'll never remember to push that button so you'll just ask me again when the problem arises. Yes because its so fun for me to constantly maintain your electronics because you can't bother to remember to push a button.5
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!rant
Let's take a moment to appreciate interested and enthousiastic non-developers who really want to learn a programming language.
I am studying Medical IT at my college and most of my classmates aren't coming from an IT background.
We're currently working with Java, PHP, JavaScript and some require Node for their semester projects.
Some of my classmates approach me when they're stuck while coding and I try to teach them as much as possible so they understand what they are doing wrong and how to fix it.
I also show them how they can optimise their code step by step and they love it!
As a classmate told me yesterday:
"It's always so much fun working with you. I come up with a small problem, but I end up learning so much more about programming when solving a problem with you. I appreciate that."
It's a mindset I've learned when I was doing my developer apprenticeship back in the day. One of my colleagues told me: "if they want your help because they need a quick fix, tell them to kiss your ass. If you know they've already tried everything they could and ask you specifically because they want to understand what they are doing wrong, they are future developers with great potential, so go teach them."
May the force be with you, my enthousiastic little non-devs ❤️6 -
A friend bought a new PC and asked me to help him set it up. He said he got everything working except the CD drive. He said it took him forever just to figure out how to get the keyboard and mouse to work. "I mean, have you ever owned a computer where the keyboard and mouse had to plug into the monitor instead of the computer?"
He bought a desktop PC, and and all-in-one thinking it was a monitor. He had the HDMI going from the all-in-one to the desktop, and was trying to use the CD drive on the desktop.
Wish you could've seen his face when I unplugged the desktop computer and his "monitor" didn't shut off. He looked at the desktop, and then the all-in-one, and said, "Wait... How is it still on?"
He also had his old USB wifi plugged into the desktop thinking that's what was providing him with an internet connection.11 -
My friends with non tech background thinks that I am hacking into NSA or something but they don't know I am just downloading the package lists by running sudo apt-get update. 😂5
-
Non-developers (especially factory workers) don't understand the stress a developer goes through. They say: "What stress could you possibly have? You just sit with your ass behind a computer".
Yeah.. don't get me started.22 -
Those developers working under non-technical bosses, i understand your pain.
1. Pain when they don't realise that output != number of hours put in. Aaaaaaand that acting busy doesn't mean someone's working.
2. Pain when chilling out in office is necessary, because mind jobs don't work same as other jobs. Wherein if you don't vent it out you're gonna screw up the code. Them not getting that.
3. Pain of "meetings".
4. Pain of changing the feature when you're done, and them acting as if its a minor change.
5. Pain of vague requirements.
6. Pain of a product not thought through, and them trying to blame the implementation.5 -
I work in an unrelated field, and code in my spare time as I'm just starting out. Have to pay tbe bills somehow, amirite?
So my boss has installed cameras "for security", and uses them to monitor staff on a regular basis. A couple months ago he pulled me aside with a piece of paper. My "second written warning" (next step prior to dismissal) however I haven't received any other disciplinary action.
The warning contained 10 points, all of which made reference to observances over the damn cameras.
Please keep in mind -- I have been an overachieving empleyee for over 5 years, and friends with the bosses the whole time. My boss was in my wedding party.9 -
A new low level language. Modern and clean, like swift or python. Simple syntax and semantics. Low level (non garbage collected, non vm, pointers). I want a new take on C.18
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Just tested my GPU code vs my non-GPU code.
Its a simple game of life implementation. My test is on a 80 x 40 grid running for 100,000 cycles.
The normal code took 117 seconds.
The CUDA code took 2 seconds.
Holy fuck this is terrifying.3 -
I've decided that whenever a non technical person be it a client or a non technical PM tells me it's easy or tells me it'll take only x hours, I'm going to tell them to either do it themselves, or let me do my estimate calculation. You don't fucking understand one line of what I do yet you can magically calculate the amount of time I'll take on the task? No fucking thank you sir.2
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Old story, and yeah, it's all true, I shit you not!
So here I am at about age 11 (more or less). At the time, I had an almost brand new 333MHz beast, with 8 MB RAM, 2 (!!!) MB video card and (I think) about 300 MB of storage (yeah, I'm old :)) ).
Connected to this monster was sitting a 14" CRT monitor, mechanical keyboard and a 2 button, ball "powered" mouse.
There was no optical tracking tech at the time.
One evening, I notice my mouse starts lagging. Test it to see if Win95 is stuck. Nope, just mouse problems...
Fiddle with it a little, and at some point it stops working at all.
My room was dark now, so I got up to turn on the lights, sat down in front of the PC, and moved the mouse by instinct.
Surprise! It's working again!
My brother comes in and turnes off the lights. Mouse non responsive.
I tell him to turn them on again, mouse works again.
At this point, we were both scratching our heads at this mystery...
I decided to confirm it again using a desc light.
Conclusion: my 2 button, ball tracking, non light sensitive mouse was working only if light was shining directly oh it AND on my 14" crt monitor at the same time!!!
To this day I have no ideea why.
I kept them both for posterity, and they are still there in my parent's attic.
Fin.7 -
Even when you might want to work for a non-profit, don't sell yourself too short. Dear developers, I ask you kindly to never accept these kind of salaries.
That entire range is an insult. Esp. with the dev stack in mind.
13 -
People should understand that the eye retina can't see a difference between 4k and 1080p on 5" phone
Oh now he tells me "My 4k phone looks like my TV!!!!!" as if TVs had high PPI screens >.>
10/1013 -
Feels like I found value of "NAN"
i.e, finding non-ranter dev @ devrant!
"Write no rant
Comment no rant
++(view) all rant "
@Ghored
I guess he should be given a badge or something!
Never able to achieve that stage of satisfaction,
Bsod in windows,
Grub rescue for Linux,
Gradle build problem for android,
404 errors,
What not ?
Yet I really feel like today , I met a ironical legend of dev community!
A full bow to you my friend
5 -
When I am telling non-tech people that I am studying Software Engineering:
They: What do you study at university?
Me: Software Engineering
They: Oh, so you're an engineer! My *some random person* is also an engineer!
Me: No, not that kind of engineer. I am a SOFTWARE engineer. I don't build things.
They: huh?
Me: I write code. Programs. For computers. I a programmer.
They: oh, great, very perspective! Will you fix my *PC/printer/whatever has on/off button on it*?
😶😶😶4 -
Instagram in a nutshell:
1. Posting a meme without real picture
2. Getting likes
3. Comments:
- Bots: "Amazing","Beautiful view!","you wanna see my nudes?😍😍😍❤️❤️💘💘💘💦💦"
- people :"@randomdude bro this is funny because xy Haaha"
4. FOLLOWERS DON'T SEE MY POST BECAUSE INSTAGRAM IS STILL PROUD OF THEIR NON CHRONOLOGIC-FEED!!10 -
I find it annoying when non-tech savvy people criticize the Parler devs for using AWS because "it's Amazon they had it coming", I don't know the devs or company behind that website, I've never used it, but wtf man do you have any idea what's involved in building, deploying and maintaining a platform like that or any other similar? ffs you would barely be able to write an HTML blog by yourself and you dare judge devs for using AWS. fuck off.
I agree with the sentiment, it sucks, if my platform was removed from AWS I probably would keep it that way because I don't have the money to afford the hardware nor am I somewhere that's readily available and that's what is really sad it would suck that just because Amazon doesn't like you or you don't have the influence to fight it you and your userbase can go fuck off. Very bad precedent, it is discouraging.68 -
This stupid crap is pissing me off.
I write a quick blob of code that performs an http request with custom headers and writes the response to a file. easy squeezy. Everything works.
I abstract it into a class and add request building and stages (enjoayble!), and have one method make the response, read its body, and write to a file. I literally copy/pasted most of my existing code into the method and indented it. The only changes were updating var names to instance vars.
But now? It's complaining something is trying to read the request body twice, and it's throwing a fit. What? How? You were just working!
asfklasjdf;l8 -
So you know how a polite request may be phrased as a question, eg. "May I have seconds?". And how an appropriate answer for such a question may be a simple request, indicating the answerer's desire for the inquirer to be at ease, eg. "please do."?
So today my non-native ass had the following exchange:
her: "I'd love to keep you company but I have to call a friend who asked me dearly to call him back when I get home."
me: "please leave"5 -
Don't ever talk to non-tech people about tech. It'll fuck up your mood.
I've talked to a non-tech person lately, so...11 -
At my previous job I used to deal directly with a client. This client wasn't particularly tech savvy although he was the head of IT department.
During the beta testing phase of the project. The client would regularly send me emails with snapshots of his laptop with application open accompanied by some amount of text to explain what the error/problem he was facing.
One fine day I got an email with a very wierd error. It was a module for attendance of employees based on which salaries were calculated. The mail had a snapshot and some text saying that he was unable to see the attendance for the dates 22, 23, 24 and so on...
I immediately replied with a snapshot of the calendar highlighting the date, which was the 21st of the month. Those attendance are empty because they haven't been marked yet.
No reply untill the next day with more "errors" 😂2 -
Non tech coworkers before COVID-19: you don't need home office, it's only a way to avoid job responsibilities
Non tech coworkers today: yeah home office is a great idea, why we didn't think about it before2 -
When you open a non-minified file with tons of difficult calculations only to see, that every variable is around 1 or 2 letters. :'(2
-
PM: You can cut corners it it's necessary.
Me: Thanks for giving me permission to move faster.
*But as you know, I wouldn't be in this position if you hadn't made us agree to such an unrealistic deadline.*
..
...
*after completion*
.
.
PM: There are bugs in the code.
ME: There are bugs, because you asked me to cut corners. *fu#k you* *wtf moment*4 -
I hate it when non-devs (HR, Customer Services,..) treat developers as if they're some type of 'weird non-humans'.
Whatever gives them that pretentious right to just label people like that? There are developers with emotions and humanity too!13 -
Tried to simulate spreading of viruses in quarantined vs non-quarantined environment.
Non-quarantined people are not understanding the concept of boundaries.
5 -
Never tell normal people (non-developers) how much time it took you to build something.
They will always be like 'I thought that was a 2-day work'3 -
Wow our network is so safe, our network is so secure, our network is so non exploitable that our devs can't downloade packages in VS, our company only have two IT dudes who can fix that issue and they're non existing. Wow..2
-
You can always tell if someone is a programmer by asking them:
Is zero equal to zero or equal to 1?
Non devs say 0, devs say 115 -
trs()
For those of you desiring to post non-rants, I wrote a handy utility function for you:
/*
* Toggles whether this post is
* a rant or not.
*/
function toggleRant()
{
// Check if toggling is safe
for(var i = 0; i < 999999999; i ++)
for(var t = 0; t < 999999999; t ++);
console.log("Crazy security checks came through.")
// Toggle ('isRant' is true by default)
isRant = !isRant
}
From now on, you can easily put 'toggleRant()' on the first line of any rant. As we all know, the 'isRant' on devRant is true by default.
Feel free to play around with it:
toggleRant()
toggleRant()
toggleRant()
This would also indicate that your "rant" is not a rant.
I've also wrapped the 'toggleRant' into another function with a shorter name for you lazy people (which most programmers are):
/*
* Wrapper for 'toggleRant'.
*/
function tr()
{
toggleRant()
trogus() // Just in case
}
Or if you type one additional letter, you also make sure that it's extra safe to call the function:
/*
* Extra safe version of 'tr'.
*/
function trs()
{
for(var i = 0; i < 746985768; i ++);
console.log ("Extra safe")
tr()
}2 -
If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing.
-Benjamin Franklin
Code away, ranters.2 -
My non-coding friends think i am an amazing developers as i can create landing pages and small websites and they sometimes come to me with stupid ideas for websites.3
-
What is the condition to join two tables ?
Programmer: primary keys match.
Non-Programmer: The tables height must match.😐1 -
So i am a diabetic and carry an insulin pump. Now being in India, the pump is not covered by insurance (for some god forsaken reason that I don’t know) and therefore is not a common sight here (contradictoraly India has a major diabetes problem). So I was at the metro station going through security check and the security personnel asks me what the pump was and asked me to show it to him. Now since insulin pumps are uncommon here I understood his concern and showed it to him. Now I like to carry the pump under my shirt with a clip pouch. So naturally I had to lift up my shirt to show it to him. But this isn’t the highlight of the story.
The guy behind me rised above and started peeking over my shoulder and constantly repeating like a 2 year old child what is this. And that too with my fucking abdomen exposed. I went into rage mode there and then like wtf dude, none of your business just step back a little.
Now my issue is that I do not understand that in their own curiosity, why do people forget to respect others privacy. And a very big problem with medical equipment manufacturing organisations (yeah you medtronic). Why are you only concerned with sales and why not awareness? I mean spreading awareness will only help your sales as more people will become aware about your product and it will be less awkward and concerning for people like me to wear your device out in the public5 -
Got convinced to work with a boss who seem to know it all in tech.
I honestly thought he knew tech, to code at least.
And then one day he referred to Java as the same as JavaSrcipt.
Oh no.3 -
Why do developers act like it's such a travesty when a non-techie says something wrong or ignorant about tech? It's not like we study computers and programming for a career and therefore know a lot more or anything...
Plus, it's not the non-techie's fault that the schools don't teach computer schools that well.4 -
So, here is the worst experience, not one.. but recent two of many of the encounters I had with my OOP teacher... (I am in Second Year of Engineering). Lets Call him T.
To give a background of T... He knows nothing but acts like he is the master... you'll get to know this...
Incident #0:
*me developing a website for a client and T just bumps in*
T: Hey, what are you upto.
M:Nothing sir, just some Web-dev stuff.
T: What languages do you use?
M: I am currently using embedded ruby.
T: No no, I meant, what languages do you use for web-dev?
*inner* M: Ok, try to act stupid... He is not worth of all the knowledge.
M: Sorry sir, I just use simple HTML-CSS.
T: Ohh, I use Wordpress... It's a great language to build websites.
*inner* M: He has no idea what WP really is, he is a fuckshit.
T: It's so simple and easy, that you code for Desktop view, press Ctrl-M and then it automatically makes it for mobile view.
*inner* M: Bursts out into laughter
M: OK sir, will look over it.
Incident #1:
*He is teaching, suddenly topic comes of Oracle Certification for Java*
T: I know many of you have idea about java, but do you have what it takes to be an OCJP..
*inner* M: LOL...
T: It is a really hard thing, and I can bet... I can bet *he did repeat that twice* that no one from you can even qualify OCJP.
*inner* M: It's time... It's time
M: Excuse me sir, first of all it's OCA... OCJP does not exist anymore... And secondly, I am an OCA...
*inner* M: Yeah... Fuck you bitch!
*assucimg inner* T:Fuck, asshole..$#@#%@!@$@%#
And whole class was like -> o.O1 -
developer makes a "missed-a-semicolon"-kind of mistake that brings your non-production infrastructure down.
manager goes crazy. rallies the whole team into a meeting to find "whom to hold accountable for this stupid mistake" ( read : whom should I blame? ).
spend 1-hour to investigate the problem. send out another developer to fix the problem.
... continue digging ...
( with every step in the software development lifecycle handbook; the only step missing was to pull the handbook itself out )
finds that the developer followed the development process well ( no hoops jumped ).
the error was missed during the code review because the reviewer didn't actually "review" the code, but reported that they had "reviewed and merged" the code
get asked why we're all spending time trying to fix a problem that occurred in a non-production environment. apparently, now it is about figuring out the root cause so that it doesn't happen in production.
we're ALL now staring at the SAME pull request. now the manager is suddenly more mad because the developer used brackets to indicate the pseudo-path where the change occurred.
"WHY WOULD YOU WASTE 30-SECONDS PUTTING ALL THOSE BRACES? YOU'RE ALREADY ON A BRANCH!"
PS : the reason I didn't quote any of the manager's words until the end was because they were screaming all along, so, I'd have to type in ALL CAPS-case. I'm a CAPS-case-hater by-default ( except for the singular use of "I" ( eye; indicating myself ) )
WTF? I mean, walk your temper off first ( I don't mean literally, right now; for now, consider it a figure of speech. I wish I could ask you to do it literally; but no, I'm not that much of a sadist just yet ). Then come back and decide what you actually want to be pissed about. Then think more; about whether you want to kill everyone else's productivity by rallying the entire team ( OK, I'm exaggerating, it's a small team of 4 people; excluding the manager ) to look at an issue that happened in a non-production environment.
At the end of the week, you're still going to come back and say we're behind schedule because we didn't get any work done.
Well, here's 4 hours of our time consumed away by you.
This manager also has a habit of saying, "getting on X's case". Even if it is a discussion ( and not a debate ). What is that supposed to mean? Did X commit such a grave crime that they need to be condemned to hell?
I miss my old organization where there was a strict no-blame policy. Their strategy was, "OK, we have an issue, let's fix it and move on."
I've gotten involved ( not caused it ) in even bigger issues ( like an almost-data-breach ) and nobody ever pointed a finger at another person.
Even though we all knew who caused the issue. Some even went beyond and defended the person. Like, "Them. No, that's not possible. They won't do such dumb mistakes. They're very thorough with their work."
No one even talked about the person behind their back either ( at least I wasn't involved in any such conversation ). Even later, after the whole issue had settled down. I don't think people brought it up later either ( though it was kind of a hush-hush need-to-know event )
Now I realize the other unsaid-advantage of the no-blame policy. You don't lose 4 hours of your so-called "quarantine productivity". We're already short on productivity. Please don't add anymore. 🙏11 -
The tons of undefined behaviour in C that ought to have been implementation defined instead, and increasingly sadistic compiler writers on the other side.
Like signed integer overflow that should just do what the underlying machine does, i.e. in practice, wrap around two's complement.
But the wierdest UB is when a C source code line has a non-matching ' or ". WTF, this should have been a compile time error!2 -
"So, coder huh. What languages do you use? HTML, CSS, JavaScript? That type of stuff?"
"No. I use React. You see... with hooks... "
"Well, can you change some of the CSS on my website for me?"
"Is it React?"6 -
So I just noticed something.
When I am using my client when I am connected to LTE and not a good WiFi signal, the app hangs every time you want to vote on a post/comment because I didn’t make it non-blocking. This will be fixed in the next few days!
It’s amazing how experience degradation can be absolutely invisible depending on your connection. -
I'm currently watching the "it was my idea, I should get half the revenue" conversation play out in real time... For someone else.
I had the sense to turn down this "fantastic business opportunity"1 -
Why do non developers always think we devs don't have a life outside of work?
We have a life people. We do other things as well3 -
Developer vs non developer interview:
Non developer:
How well do you know excel ?
Developer:
How would you write spreadsheet app, what if it was cross platforms mobile application but also desktop app ?
Non developer:
Do you know how to use windows?
Developer:
Do you know kubernetes, distributed systems, lambdas, cloud services and how to deploy to server farm ?
Non developer:
You know how to use printer / fax and coffee machine ?
Developer:
Do you have experience in writing code for embedded devices ?
Non developer:
Do you know powerpoint ?
Developer:
How well do you know javascript / html / css, are you comfortable with writing backend node.js code or electron applications ?
React native and native apps maybe ?5 -
when u feel that u wrote some godlike code. 2 months later client wants to add new features. then u realize ur code needs major refactoring. "what was i thinking, far from godlike"
-
Non techie colleague: ... Yeah she really likes sending gifs
Me: is it 'gif' or 'jif'
Non techie: "I don't know 'gif' - 'jif', no 'jif just sounds weird"
Me: ah but the creator called them 'jifs'
TECHIE colleague: yeah well he's just wrong!7 -
Urgent!
When down voting needs to be add a non dev related and add to the setting a option to hide all rants voted non dev related.
Basacly like repost but it says non dev related5 -
I was asked a stupid question recently:
I was questioned to why I fix things.
Wtf? Why wouldn't you fix something that could be useful? Idiots
End Rant3 -
What's wrong with Mozilla?!
Savvy webdevs use link preloading to break up dependency chains for late discovered resources, and users like the faster loading as result. Firefox 56 started supporting that two and a half years ago. Turned out they had screwed up and it didn't work with non-cacheable resources. So Mozilla "fixed" that by disabling the feature altogether behind some config flag.
And they left it at that - still not supported. They even had patches, but decided not to merge them and instead try something different, some day.
Is Firefox becoming the new IE or what?6 -
Why would companies ever hire a manager from a non-tech background, at least for managing engineers? After reading @IAmNotARobot's latest rant I just have to ask because it makes absolutely no sense to me. Surely non-tech people should be reserved for managing non-tech roles like sales, HR, and maaaaybe team leads, right? How can you manage someone if you don't understand anything of what they do?3
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"Open-Minded Programmer Only Works In Non-Binary Code"
https://babylonbee.com/news/...
An oldie but a goodie, especially relevant with the recent python controversies.5 -
A non-profit wants me to build a database for them and I coded everything as a CMS in PHP. But now their IT guy wants it as a Wordpress site and he wants me to send files to the website but I can't update the website or plugins personally myself. How do I go about this?10
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The bouba/kiki effect is a non-arbitrary mapping between speech sounds and the visual shape of objects. It was first documented by Wolfgang Köhler in 1929 using nonsense words.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...17 -
Non-tech: "You're really classy aren't you?"
Me: "Damn straight! Bet you'd like to define me."
Non-tech: "Wut..."
My jokes are wasted :/1 -
This is gonna get someone illogically upset, but idc about that.
I know it's ignorance of semantics but I'm tired of propagated ignorance changing the meaning of things.
Non-binary is NOT a legitimate term for whatever 'gender' you are!
I get what *whoever-started-it* was going for, but it's NOT valid. If you want to say that youre not male or female, fine... just don't abuse binary systems to do it. Just say youre non-bool/anti-boolean or identify with one of the, apparently 50, shades of gray.
I keep getting into logical loops to nowhere about this nonsense. No one is even defining what's supposed to be the 1 vs the 0. Which then makes me think '1 must be male... genitalia=1 in many ways...' which then sources back to the historic validity of males vs undervalued/less than human interpretations of females...
Then <brake>.
Ofc these people aren't going into the historical significance... they don't even realise how binary works! Ofc they'd have no clue that all 0s= no data... and 0s only have significance when viewed in placement to the 1s.
Let's all start using proper terminologies, like non-boolean. Maybe i can start a trend by paying people pennies to learn/teach wtf a boolean value is, and that binary can represent anything. With proper encoding the array is limitless... so being binary is actually a giant spectrum... therefore makes no sense to be "non-binary".
Ok... im done. It had to be said.
Who wants to start identifying as non, or educating wtf is, boolean with me???42 -
Programmer BF before we were dating: I love my job. My job is the best thing ever. I will never love anything as much as I love coding.
Me: K
*A few months later*
Me: Ugh, your alarm is going off. Wake up.
PBF: I don't wanna go to work 😭
Me: Oh really? 😏6 -
Sometimes I want to show off some fancy code to non-programmers. Then I remember basic code would do the same.1
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Chicago is a tough IT market. It's the first market where I've had to walk away from jobs because companies refuse to remove their non-compete agreements. I've never signed a non-compete, you shouldn't either and here's my reasoning why:
https://penguindreams.org/blog/...1 -
Dear everyone,
Stop turning off the monitors. That doesn't sign you out or turn off the computer, it just makes the next person wonder what's taking so long.1 -
Joining a new team to find that ,
Non .. and I mean non of all of their code is Asynchronous!! non .. zeroo !!
And they have told me to follow their practices !
I forze for a couple of seconds then I said : no !2 -
Non-dev
I'm really sad to see what's going on in the world right now, particularly America.
Millions of jobs are just, gone, automated away, or turned into shitty contract positions. This leaves us with huge unemployment, so people then are forced to participate in a race to the bottom for the shitty contract jobs.
Ridesharing now classifies its employees as contractors. Who does this help? The companies of course, cause they dont need to give anyone benefits or even minimum wage.
And then since these guys are contractors, restaurants and stuff end up eliminating their drivers since they can't compete with the lean mean ridesharing machine.
Soon most "essential" work is just going to be poor people begging for tips from their work because the companies count them as contractors and dont give them benefits or enough to live on.
Fuck this shit. I'm so glad I'm a dev and mostly shielded from this, for now. But it's upsetting to think of what the world will be like in 20 years as this continues.4 -
On my first day at new job, a non-technical person used CQRS word while explaining the system. When I asked what's need of such a complex pattern for simple query type service, he simply backed off. 😝
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While writing your codes, have you ever noticed that all the programming languages you've ever come across are actually... English?
Has any of you ever coded in non-English (and non-symbolic, like ook, brainfuck, whitespace et al) language?22 -
"We only permit non-restricted, non-offensive alpha-numeric passwords..."
Does ,wnW\M@Bb;v3F(xx offend you?5 -
- Knock knock...
- Who's there?
- Who's there?
- Who's there?
- non-idempotent request...
- non-idempotent request...
- non-idempotent request... -
I really value the skills, experience and time of my brothers and sisters here at Devrant. So I ask questions sparingly.
What is a really good website sketch/blueprint software that I can use to collaborate with non-techie humans.
Thank you for your time.
Have a great day fellow devranters.3 -
Why is it so damn hard to integrate an external api into Android in a non messy non tedious way... I mean yes I'm new to this but it's unnecessarily tough..
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Thought after spending more than two days after a VBA non-sense flaw:
People that say that VBA is not that bad simply don’t have that much experience in VBA. -
I find it hopeless to achieve anything with applications aimed at non-devs, such as PowerPoint. How the hell can it be so difficult to use the same theme in one presentation as in another? If it had been code, I would just have copied the XML, XAML, include, link, script or whatever code in whatever language on whatever platform from the old project and pasted it into my new project. But with "user-friendly" apps I have no control of how anything actually works. I give up, my presentation will be unthemed. Maybe it's for the better anyway, less distracting graphics.5
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Last year in uni:
Module 1: Build two projects in a team using java
Module 2: Build a website for an airport using plain php/javascript/css (i had no previous experience with thia pathetic language with the dollar signs)
Module 3: build a website using python
Module 4: Rasperry PI with Matlab
*** I have to study C++ for the job I will be working at after uni..
I really want to specialise in C++ and finally get proficient in it, but hell no my curriculum requires me to know how to do the same exact thinf with 75668888765 languages... fs -
It feels that I have my own personal space in the head offices of Google 2TB, Facebook 6TB.....I wish they could have provided that much cloud storage of data for free
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I think I finally killed the notification system. I have a magical non existing notification on a non existing comment 😂
3 -
!rant Week 82
Eastern philosophy has made me better at programming. I'm not much of a metaphysics guy, but abstract space breeds creativity. I find that programming and zen are alike, wholeness enveloped by nothingness. A new programming language is being an infant to a foreign universe, without any means to make sense of things. Only through your own references can you make sense of this new stimuli. That nascent feeling, being a baby, is an amazing thing. Programming is probably the most humbling task I've ever endured. We all know the feelings of imposter syndrome, and yet they seem distant when a new solution is just burgeoning. Rehabilitation refers to social programs as programming. Criminals spend all day, "programming" in most institutions. Programming as a word becomes a meditation for change. So life and programming then, are forever in twined. And my experience of being humbled as a programmer has helped me in life. And my experiences being humbled by life, have made me a better programmer. -
So the tests for the AMD RX 7000 GPUs are out. Business as usual: superb for non-RT gaming given the price, crap at everything else - including energy efficiency in FPS/W.
Pro tip to the AMD marketing: you don't highlight features like energy where you suck relative to the competition. You point out your strong points. Admittedly, you don't have much to work with here.3 -
Any of you are annoyed by your non-technical manager work practices?
Every release I feel like our manager's goal is to have our planning and results look good in front of higher management, no matter if it is true or not.
Oh this big task could not be done because we had to plan 4 months in advance with no info and poorly done requirements? Well let's just push it to the next release we can't have unfinished tasks logged in.
Oh we don't have time to work on tech debt and refactoring, there are too many features and bugfixes to do. Well maybe that is why there are so many bugs, eh?
Oh your automated test results need to all look perfect, does not matter if your test are even good or actually doing anything in the first place, as long as it passes.
Also, I was promised agile and got a waterfall-like bullshit process instead that barely works.
Anyways just morning rambling.1 -
Graduated with an Information Technology degree and a friend of mine (who is from a non technical background) thinks I'll be working as a tech support. FML. Then later hits me up with a request to make an app for her startup. Just makes me realise people are so dumb.4
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Do logic designers socialize? I've never seen any non-serious non-onky-business conference, talk or whatever.
Yeah sure they aren't as hip as JavaScript frameworks but... -
My employer wants me to add wordpress blogs to a non-wordpress website..
the fux, is this even possible?4 -
A non-relationship database system with drag and drop + business process flows. It was fun at first, but like my Android phone, it slowed the **** down so much that it affected business operations. Must have been their evil plan all along.
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Non deterministic behaviour in complex systems is a joyful cesspit...
No matter how much I try to enjoy it as a learning experience, I still feel - and stink - rotten...
The number of stuff that shouldn't have existed in applications is frightening and I really don't want to look at it anymore.
But it suddenly starts working and didn't crap out since 7 hours.
Just stay like that the next years till someone else has to play with you. -.-6 -
>the human mind cannot process non-Euclidean laws of physics and space
Yes it can. Non-Euclidean terms don't phase me. I've played too many games like Antichamber, removing laws of physics/the universe doesn't phase me.
How do I do these fucking things???2 -
Do you guys think that it would be possible to build a cryptocurrency that could replace traditional banking and money at all?
A non anonymous cryptocurrency, that could guarantee enough privacy to not be used for surveillance but at the same time could be used by common people.
I had this thought recently but at the time of writing ( :P ) I haven't enough knowledge and time to go deeper than this (meaning "nothing").14 -
Inhuman deadlines imposed by non-programmers... don't know what feels worst: the shame of my own present code, or the fear of my own future bugs.
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Did you ever thought about rolling back time and:
- buy some cryptocurrencies
- sell your knowledge about vulnerabilities like spectrum/meltdown ...
- predict football championships
- WRITE THE GITHUB TO SELL IT FOR BILLIONS OF DOLLARS
Well, I do. -
Bass playing.
Helps me to reset my train of thought when I'm burnt out. And it's another way to get creative!4 -
I don't know about you but I find remembering symbolic link commands too difficult - midnight commander to the resque!
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The difference between a programmer and a non-programmer is.........
The non-programmer thinks a kilobyte is 1000 bytes,
while a programmer is convinced that a kilometer is 1024 meters.....6 -
So one of my friend wants to know what a programming job is basically like.
What would you share so that she may get interested in programming ?
I'm thinking of a personalised demo of pure basic chatbot using js which she can try on her phone browser.
I could later share the lines of showing the logical flow of code.
Any ideas or experiences on this?6 -
Hey Kotlin users. Do you use Kotlin for Android, or for non-Android stuff? If both, then answer Android. I'm interested to see how many non Android Kotlin devs we have here.2
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!dev
Sorry for the non-dev question, but does anyone know of any good emulators for PS4?
Help me plis, I wanna play horizon: zero dawn -
What's the optimal dev to non-dev ratio at a workplace?
I switched from a 1:65-ish ratio to 1.5:2.5 ratio this year, and it was an improvement by all means. But I still feel so very alone, struggling with my many dev-related questions and really no one to discuss them with.
Under what ratio do you prefer to work? -
Python working non-deterministic on VSCode? That just happened ... somehow, wtf??
Getting a list from a method and comparing its last element with an int value. Always worked before like a charm, didn't change a thing. All of a sudden TypeError, cannot run anymore? Restart VSCode, run again, still not running ... ?? Retry and print the element, in case I've surprisingly actually been an idiot all along ... nope, value looks in print as expected. Continue execution, suddenly condition works again. WTF just happened??? Caching, python extension bug, anything like that to blame?1 -
What kind of Enterprise software are we talking about here? If you want long term stability I would never dream of implementing non Enterprise grade software...and if a non Enterprise software is good it will eventually become Enterprise software...
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Windows is not an operating system. It's a shit. A non-free shit. Fuck window$. Non-based *ux/ix system can't be an operating system. A shit system perhaps.10
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