This shit is real.

Guy comes to my desk.
Guy: Do you know Python?
Me: Yes
Guy: I want a program that reads a CSV containing IP addresses and tells which of them are valid.
Me: Sure thing. Show me the CSV file.
Guy: (Shows the file)
Me: (Writes a small function for checking whether the IP is valid)
Me: Done Here you go.
Guy: You should be using regex.
Me: Why? This is perfect. No need for regex.
Guy: My manager wants a solution using regex only.
Me: Why so?
Guy: I don't know. Can you do it using regex?
Me: Only if you say so. (Stackoverflow. Writes a humongous regex). Done!
Me: Just for curiosity, what is your application?
Guy: I will port it in Java. You see, regex is easy to debug.
Me: Ohhh Yes. I forgot that. Good luck with your regex.

Hey, i want to make a game and i need some help, so I'm looking for a team.

What i need is:
2 programmers
3 graphics artists
2 level designers
1 music composer
2 dialog writers
1 web designer for page and forums
5 testers

What i will do, you ask? Well, I've got some really good ideas. I think the game should be like Final Fantasy, but bigger and better. I worked with RPG Maker for two months, but I'm best with ideas. I think my ideas would make some incred...

GO SHOVE YOUR IDEAS INTO YOUR ASS! The idea means nothing. I got an idea for the best game ever, right this morning while i was taking a SHIT!

Hobby teams need people who create content. And people who can do stuff will more likely work with someone who does stuff as well and has proven that he is able to get things done.

FUCK this startup mentality of implementing all these external services and APIs for absolutely fucking everything.

I get that your vacuous fresh-mint-tea-soaked hipster brains are all cheering about these "only $10/month/seat" services, because you imbeciles with your nodejs-sticker-plastered macbooks have never done anything but knot the work of other dimwits together.

I don't even care about the subscription costs. That shit is more trouble to maintain than writing it yourself, and there's no guarantee that visualizemyballs.com & lintmycock.io still work tomorrow.

I'm getting so sick of being barraged with 502 bad gateway errors because you halfassed yet another API implementation. Stop advertising your crossfit stats, your meditation-app records and your vegan protein bars for a minute, and maybe start writing some fucking code of your own, something with a higher shelf-life than your iPhone screen...

You know... something which actually fucking adds value to the world.

Fuck open office spaces.

A few months ago I landed a super sweet job as a senior full stack developer, mainly going to work with their Python microarchitecture. The company pays well, has a sweet balance between freedom and responsibility, 30 days vacation etc.

During the recruiting process they walked me around the office that was super cozy with 14 devs in on large room and 10 people from marketing in another. They also mentioned that they would move and merge office with operations and customer service (around 100 more people) in a few months.

Life was good in the old office, I thought that this is the company where I will work for a looooong time.

Now we are in the new office and its fucking shit. No walls or FUCKING CEILINGS between departments. Right above my head there is balcony with customer service talking loud as fuck 24/7. Everyone that is not a developer is just so fucking loud.

I have to use earplugs AND earmuffs to get silence, or blast my ears with way to loud music. Every day around lunch I'm completely done mentally.

I know I'm extra sensitive to noise because of my ADHD, but seriously who the fuck thought this was a good idea?

All the devs have told our boss what needs to be done. If they listen i don't know. In the meantime I will start looking for a new job....

This actually happend in my secondary school class. A new guy came to our class. The whole family moved from another city.
*new guy want to start conversation with me*
new guy: "So you into computers and stuff like that?"
me: "Yes" *seems like a cool guy , want to develop the conversation further* "what about you man? do you like computers? do yo program or smth?"
*new guy wants to look cool in front of me*
new guy: " Yeah dude, actually I am hacker"
*me saying to myself, oh fuck not again this shit*
he continues with: " Once I got into the NASA system"
*switches mode to making fun of him*
me: "what the fuck man? really? that´s freaking cool, how you manage to do that? "
new guy: " you know the thing when you press F10 when starting a comupter? "
me: "You mean BIOS?"
new guy : "yeah yeah man through that shit"
* I am done, laughing my ass off and walks away*

I am done with people, I just want one single room, with good internet, dual monitor setup... And I can spend my whole life like that... Being social, fuck that shit... I have devRant for that... and rest, I just want to code, listen to music, drink coffee and sleep like hell...

Why is it that I can understand some other dev's code faster that understanding someone's feelings. Why is it that I am good with principles of Programming Languages, but not the basic Principles of Humanity... Yes, I agree I don't have feelings, but is it wrong not to have feelings, I am a dev, I am supposed to be good with Codes, not humans... I want to be in my small space of close people. (My family), and that's it... I am no good with others. I hate Facebook, but love devRant, I spend more time on StackOverflow than that on WhatsApp. Why is it so... Why

Was today national 'lets not use our brains and common sense' day or something?!?

People coming with the most fucking RETARDED questions.

'ive spend hours to try and figure out why my mail isnt sending,?!'

MAYBE TRY SPELLING YOUR FUCKING OWN EMAIL ADDRESS CORRECTLY?!?!?!

Tons more of the kind of shit that you can solve yourself within three FUCKING seconds.

I'm so fucking done with today.

pm: our client wants a proprietary pdf compression app.
me: Okay gimme 3 days and some sample PDFs.
pm: they won't supply any sample PDFs because they contain confidential information.
me: okay fine, I'll download some from the interwebs.

** 3 days later **

me: here is the pdf compression app. all done and works with all of about 100 PDFs we tested with.
pm: okay great I'll have the client take a look.

** half and hour later **

pm: the client said that the compression app errors out.
me: okay I'll go look at the server logs to see what's up.

** 10 seconds later **

me: what the shit is a "foxit phantompdf" file.
pm: it's the proprietary pdf format that they are using.
me: oh joy. I'll go try to find some sample files and see if I can fix it.

** 1 hour later, no sample files found **

pm: got anything?
me: *sobs obnoxiously*

I hired a guy on upwork. His english is shit. But hes done the work correctly. Fast forward today he asked me "off topic question but do u have any female friend who can accompany me to fuck?"

WTF IS THIS SHIT

That is not professional AT ALL. I dont give a shit about the fact he cant get no bitches so hes begging me as if im some kind of a pimp. On upwork?? Gtfo.

Now i understand why companies want to hire only people with college DEGREES because they have went through the process of conforming and dont ask stupid shit questions. Eliminates a lot of bullshit and Neanderthals like this guy

Ffs

So I was hired about 4 months or so in this companty, we will name it 'Derp & Co.'

The first task they want me to do was to 'clean' an android app that, for what they told me:

- Previous dev fired. said that tasks have been done but totally a lie.
- Took a fully week of 2 fellows coworkers to 'undo' the mess.
- And for the last but not least, zero documentation, like ZERO.

So, I clone the repo, install android studio, blah blah blah, get hands to the pile of code and jesus...

- The whole app was working with a gargantuan json, there was no use of POJOs at all. Objects are for normies.
- A masive copy/paste code, like 'I will need this here, crtl-c... ctrl-v, DONE!'
- Threads are free, isn't it? let's just put a thread whenever I desire to make an HTTP request and not reuse code at all.

So... with this on mind, my first task is to make proper objects:
- Coworker: 'Sorry dev, we don't have documentation for this, you must debug the code to se what the server will send to you'.
- Me: 'Real?'

Shit... ok. So I first try to figure out how the hell is made my gargantuan json. A month was entirely lost to unravel this data and implement Objects, improve their code, reuse code, etc. but at the very end:

- coworker: 'Good job dev, when the POJOs are done, we can focus on the next task, whe have to define a new DATA MODEL because the one we are using now is not good at all'.

*note: the app is on production and working with all the previous 'features' and today it still on use on some enviroments.

- Me: 'Wait... this is a joke, now you want to define new data models? This should have been done in first place!' <WTF face>
- Coworker: 'I don't think so dev, Mr. boss have this list with things to improve on the app an this is the order of do the tasks'.

Mr. boss is on vacations, two days after he came back:

- Mr boss: 'Coworker said that you have been working with POJOs, is that right?'
- Me: 'Yes'
- Mr boss: 'Why? Did not see the need of a new data model?'
- Me: 'I told that to him, but he insist on "the order" of the list.
- Mr. boss <facepalm>

This is one of the few tales i have from 'Derp & Co.'

PS: Sorry if i made a mistake on writing, english is not my first language and maybe I have done some mistakes.

In my 1st semester, they taught us C++ basics
In my 2nd semester, they didn't teach us shit about CS.
In my 3rd semester, they taught us C basics
In my 4th semester, they taught us Java basics
In my 5th semester, they are teaching us Scratch and Python basics

Can you be fucking done with basics already for fuck sake? I'm a fucking Front End Developer here interning with companies and getting paid whilst I pay a fucking huge sum as college fee and learn fucking basics I knew back in high school? And you're teaching me Scratch, what the fuck is wrong with you; kids in pre-school are taught scratch. Fuck you education system, India!

Which countries should I consider for my post grad?
I'm so fucking done here.

Client: why hasnt anything been done for the new site?
Me: because you never paid for the last one thats been put into production
Client: yeah but that was a smaller simple site. I need this one up and done already
Me: it'll be worked on when I get paid for my previously worked time for you.
Client: but that was a month ago. I don't understand why you are asking for payment now
Me: because you never paid me for last months work!!
Client: but its may now
Me: holy shit, -clients name-, I know very well what month it is and dont need a lesson. I also know better than to work for free. I have bills to pay just like you and everyone else so until you have paid the last invoice, I'm not lifting a finger for you. That includes answering your calls
Client: oh well why didnt you just say that to begin with

Motherfucking fuck people are horrid and dumb and make me violent

Yesterday's (scheduled and adhoc) meetings:
10:30-11:00
11:00-11:30
12:30-1:30 (adhoc)
1:30-2:30
4:30-5:00
6:00-6:20 (adhoc)

Today's (scheduled) meetings:
9:30-10:00
11:00-12:00
12:30-1:15
1:30-2:30

Tomorrow's meetings include a 1:1 with my boss who will invariably ask why I'm not done on this "should take a week" project that I've had for a week, despite that he just unblocked me on yesterday morning, and I've had nothing but meetings since...

Fucking hell.
They fill my day with shit spaced out just enough to waste practically my entire freaking day so I can't get anything done, conveniently forget this, and then have the audacity to yell at me for not finishing my tickets. Of course I didn't finish! You all were too busy blabbing at me every day for the past fucking week! (Oh, and do they listen if I have something to say? Of course they fucking don't.)

Also, as a secondary rant, the product douchebag files tickets (usually complex as hell tickets worded to appear trivial) with enough missing information to make missing large sections of them easy. If I ask him for clarification, he tells me to read the ticket, and if I insist, he gets all exasperated and quickly zooms through the site faster than I can follow, shows maybe half of what's in the ticket, and asks why I don't know how to do any of this yet. After I finish his shit ticket (and true to his douchebag nature) he blames me for missing several of those pieces he never outlined or showed, and insists that I obviously don't test anything. And because that's clearly not douchey enough, the fucking sack of shit also goes behind my back and trashtalks me to my coworkers, tells them he can't trust me to do a simple fucking thing, and that he's given up on me.

What the FUCK is wrong with these people?

IBM

I have replied to them with scripts, curl commands, and Swagger docs (PROVIDED TO SUPPORT THEIR API), everything that could possibly indicate there's a bug. Regardless, they refuse to escalate me to level 1 support because "We cant reproduce the issue in a dev environment"

Well of course you can't reproduce it in a dev environment otherwise you'd have caught this in your unit tests. We have a genuine issue on our hands and you couldnt give less of a shit about it, or even understand less than half of it. I literally gave them a script to use and they replied back with this:

"I cannot replicate the error, but for a resource ID that doesnt exist it throws an HTTP 500 error"

YOUR APP... throws a 500... for a resource NOT FOUND?????????!!!!!!!!!! That is the exact OPPOSITE of spec, in fact some might call it a MISUSE OF RESTFUL APIs... maybe even HTTP PROTOCOL ITSELF.

I'm done with IBM, I'm done with their support, I'm done with their product, and I'm DONE playing TELEPHONE with FIRST TIER SUPPORT while we pay $250,000/year for SHITTY, UNRELENTING RAPE OF MY INTELLECT.

So, there is this company (let's call it A) with an average idea, who got the android app and webservices from a company(B) . The service was awful but cheap. The owner of the A was a friend and gave my company the handover to manage the project. I actually ranted about that on wk11(The worst project). Now, The project was terrible. It took me months to give it any real structure, fix the services, make it compatible with iOS. Now, that majority of the work was done, suddenly we were too expensive and the work was being given to another company while much of our payment wasn't going to come(Friggin company politics). But, guess which company did the project now go to, it was 'B'.
After a couple of weeks I see, inline styles and js errors start emerging on the website.
Tell you what, if there's any justice in this world, he will one day come back to me and then I will respectfully tell him to fuck off!
Thank goodness there's devRant to just whine about this shit!

Best way to avoid procrastinating: the sooner it gets done, the sooner I no longer have to think about doing it. When I have a bunch of shit to do, I start with the things I like the least, and save the more enjoyable things for last.

FUCKING SHIT.
I'm at my first Hackathon with my best friends in life and there has never been a time when I've felt this miserable all my life.
The theme is IoT (something idk jackshit about) and people here are done with the projects when we are still at the idea stage.
Yes, it's true that this shit is intense but I really want to do good at this.
This is what I've learned from my first Hackathon:
1. Prepare your shit.
Unless the problem statements are given on the spot, you should've discussed everything that you would be doing and not divert. (We spent 5 hours on a problem statement and then we decided not to go with it.)
2. Have people with different abilities who you can trust to get the work done without you having to give a second thought.
3. Don't you dare build a sub-par application. What's the fucking use of that? Don't do it for the certificate or the stickers. If you do that, then how the fuck can you make yourself put those stickers on your laptop?!
4. Have food. Keep yourself healthy and up to max potential.
5. DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED. A lot of people will look like they're done with the shit. You know what you have to do now? NOT GIVE A FUCK! Just focus and do your thing and make it awesome.

FUCK YOU! YOU PIECE OF SHIT CLIENT!
I work my ass off for a month and deliver you the best possible design for your problem and a great booking system and you open up a dispute on the order stating the work I received was poor?

GO FUCK YOURSELF :@ :@ :@
Everything is working beautifully, I uploaded it on a test website to even demonstrate it. The only problem is he is getting the error of mysqli class not found on his fucking potato server, that is not my fault! Even then, I am willing to install the php mysqli extension on his dick server so the fucking "script" works.

Some people just need a fucking reason to get away with good work done without having to pay...I will leave freelancing if the dispute ends up in his favour.

Fuck this shit. At least I get confirmed payment for what I work for 8 hours a day if I do a fucking job.

A lot of people think that the Johnny Depp vs the Sun is just gossip column garbage, but it exposes a harsh truth - a man's life can be ruined just because a woman accused him with 0 evidence, and while she proves to be an unreliable witness on multiple accounts.
Everything that was done to promote equality is being destroyed by cases like that, and I am fairly certain that many male employers will prefer not to employ women, because it's not worth the risk. And for the first time in my life, I can't even blame them.
Working in this industry is hard enough as it is for women, but this sort of shit makes it impossible. Thanks MeToo, for completely losing your mind, and screwing up women and men at the same time!

Me:, I built you this beautiful site it's super modular, it's really straight forward
Client: urm we aren't tech people if you could..... Set up all the pages for us using the modules so we can just input the data
Me: 😡 yes I could do that or you could take 5, minutes to learn this system. It's simple 😡 see that title there "left image right title module" . I've done the sample for the templates. So if you need to you can duplicate it! There's even a duplicate button!
Client: can you do it I don't want to waste time learning it right now since we are on a tight deadline

Me in head: fuck off you supreme bitch you try to get my mates dad fired! Now I've done you this huge favour getting you out of the shit 😡 and you won't take 5 minutes to just look at the admin section your old site was wix ffs.
My next move(not yet done): here is a word document it outlines what you need to do 😐

If after this see asks again I'm asking to work with someone else or quitting the project

The problem with my life is acceptance from others. Validation (almost wrote vladiation).

For instance, I finished my course in Advanced Java Programming a few days ago. Supposed to be a year course or some shit, finished it in two months. They told me I don't need to go to the remainder classes and I could write the examination. Got the certifications, passed with flying colours.
Well done me? No, fuck you me. "It's not through Oracle, so it's completely useless. Har har you wasted your measly salary on a course and it means nothing". You know what? Fuck you and fuck validation. I will validate myself from now on.

Anywhom, what a start to a shitty rant. Let's go over some generic points so I can finally make my avatar.

IE can suck a duck ("oooh you made it and it runs fine in every fucking browser except fucking IE - slow clap).

Chrome RAM usage can suck a duck, two times. (just generic post, don't actually give a shit - I use Firefox).

People who can't use one fucking indentation standard ("oooh two spaces, oooh three spaces, oooooh a fucking tab button... " etc) can fuck off.

That fucker who came and converted my buildings in Age of Empires with the "wolololo" priest can fuck off too.

Been reading through devRant and you know what? You guys are pretty cool

I hit a milestone in my PhD journey today. I wrote my advisor an "I'm so done with this shit" e-mail for the first time!

TL;DR: Fuck you Apple.

10:30 PM, parent needs iPhone update to update Messenger. How hard can this be?
Need to update iPhone from 9.x to latest, which is so outdated it still required iTunes. Fk.

Boot iTunes on Windows 10 pc that is at least 10 years old.
Completely unresponsive
Crash in task manager
Launch and is completely unresponsive. (Also starts playing unrequested music.. Oh joy..)
Fuck this, go to apple.com to download iTunes exe
Gives me some Microsoft store link. Fuck that shit, just give me the executable
Google “iTunes download”. click around on shitty Apple website. Success.
Control panel. Uninstall iTunes. (Takes forever, but it works)
Restart required (of fucking course).
2 eternities later. Run iTunes exe. Restart required. Fk.
Only 1 eternity later. Run iTunes, connect iPhone.
Actually detects the device. (holy shit, a miracle)
Starts syncing an empty library to the phone. Ya, fuck that.
Google. Disable option. Connect phone. Find option to update.
Update started. Going nowhere fast. Time for a walk at 1:00 AM punching the air.
Come back. Generic error message: Update failed (-1). Phone is stuck installing update. (O shit)
1x hard reset
2x hard reset
Google. Find Apple forum with exact question. Absolutely useless replies. (I expected no less)
Google recovery mode. Get into recovery mode.
Receive message: “You can update, but if it fails, you will have to reset to factory settings”. Fuck it, here we go.
Update runs (faster this time). Fails again. Same bullshit error message. (Goddammit, fuck. This might actually be bad.)
Disconnect phone.
… It boots latest iOS version. (holy shit, there is a god)
Immediately kill iTunes. Fuck that shit.
Parents share Apple account
Sign in, 2FA required.
Fat finger the code.
Restart “welcome” process.
Will not send code. What. The. Fuck.
Requests access code on other parent’s iPhone.
No code present. What???
Try restarting welcome process again. No dice. (Of course)
Set code on other parent’s iPhone.
Get message “Code is easy to guess”. Ya. IDGAF
Use code on newly updated iPhone. Some success.
Requires reset of password.
Password cannot be the same as old password (Goddammit)
Change password.
Welcome process done.
Sign in again on same phone after welcome process done in settings. (Nice.)
Sign in again on other phone with updated password
Update Messenger.
Update hangs. Needs more space.
Delete shit.
Update frozen in App Store (Really??)
Restart iPhone.
Update Messenger.
Update complete past 2. Well that was easy.

Apple, fuck you.
Some call Android unintuitive, but I look at the settings app on iPhone and realize you aren’t any better.
This company hasn’t been innovative since 2007. Over 1000 USD for a phone? Are you fucking kidding me?
Updating an iPhone from iOS 9.x is probably uncommon anymore. But this is a fucking joke. Fix your shit.
Shit like this is why I’ll never again own an Apple product. I have HAD IT with the joke of a business.

Thanks for reading.

!rant
I must be dreaming .... Honestly! I am with a client that knows what he wants and has no problem to express it in clear words. They understand my tech talk and talk back in tech as well. We are on the same page regarding best practises. They envy my work and have really good ideas and express constructive criticism. What is going on here? I must be in a parallel universe or something?
Okay, one downside... Coffee is not free but a cup is 20ct, which is quite alright imho anyway. Oh, the even bigger downside... Things have been so constructive that my time there is almost over since shit got actually done in the most efficient way ever!

When I'm coding, I often come up with some cool algos and when I do, I feel pretty good.
But the next second, I get this feeling that I know there are a million other people in the world who have solved the same problem with the same or better algorithm and I feel like shit. Like all the work I put in is somehow redundant.

Like finding answers on StackOverflow... When you do, you know the person who answered has already done it. You're just repeating it. But again, the fact that I'm looking for answers from other people in the first place is ....

I don't know. I guess I need to change the way I code from now on....

Client: I saw this feature on a site and I want it on mine.

Me: I’m almost done with the project. You can’t possibly expect me to start adding new features now.

Client: Just go online and copy the code. I won’t take that long. It shouldn’t be difficult if you’re a professional.

WTF is wrong with people. The worlds gone to shit. Who does he think he is?

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP WASTING MY FUCKING TIME WITH POINTLESS MEETINGS ABOUT WHAT METHODOLOGIES YOU GONNA USE TO GET THE FUCKING DATA????

JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING DATA AFTER YOU DISCUSS THIS SHIT AND TELL WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE TO DO WITH IT!!!

FUCKING WASTING MY FUCKING TIME AND WANTING SHIT TO BE DONE! WHAT THE FUCK!

I worked at a startup. They wanted to "save" money. So they hired a relative of "Fred" named "Bubba". Bubba made a custom website. Like hand built gifs and who knows how hand crafted html. It was fine for a time. Then somebody was wondering why nobody was calling us at the company. No customers. Another relative named "George" (who was actually a business major) looked at the website. It had been hacked and replaced with Jedis fighting Sith Lords. Me and another engineer named "Zeus" said "fuck this shit" and said "we are redoing this shit".

So I logged into godaddy (I know, shitty) and installed Wordpress (kinda shitty). I proceeded to turn wordpress into a half decent page. Wiped out the shit that was there, reused images as it made sense. Created more images. Reduced images to 80% quality to take loading size from 10MB to <1MB. Then I also proceeded to do SEO work and get the website listed properly within about a month. Customers started calling all the time. I had a simple contact form that barely gets any shit on it due to captcha. The was 5 years ago. I left 3 years ago (still help them on weekends) and nobody has done shit with the website. They are still getting calls and it hasn't been hacked.

We don't talk to Bubba. He didn't know what the fuck he was doing. I wonder if he still does websites for his relatives. I honestly had no clue what I was doing, but my take on the approach was easier to maintain and even George and Zeus and the new manager "Ralph" can maintain it, kinda. Went from shitty static website to full on dynamic and interactive. Yeah, I know, "dynamic". But the manager was happy.

Sometimes you just do what you gotta do in addition to doing all the electrical and software engineering for a company.

So I tried to start learning Spring 5

How the fuck do you guys do it? Holy shit.

30 seconds in:

"Spring really isn't hard, you start with this request handler interacting with a view parser..."

Alright, sounds good

2 minutes in:

"So in order to use SpringResponseDriverActionHandlerServiceRequesterService you'll need to import com.org.java.spring.util.driver.comagain.request.response.request.drivers and include this 37 level deep nested XML property and finally extend this abstract class and implement it over an iterable list with this specific annotation aaaaaaand.... Done"

> Hello, world!

"See, spring is easy!"

Yesterday my father called me and asked if I'd have a look at his website to exchange his logo with a new one and make some string changes in the backend. Well, of course I did and hell am I glad I did it.
He had that page made a few years ago by some cousin of a friend who "is really good with computers", it's a small web shop for car parts and, as usual costumer accounts. Costumer Accounts with payment infos.
Now I've seen a lot of bad practices when it comes to handling passwords and I've surely done a few questionable things myself but this idiot took the cake. When a new account was registered his php script would read the login page, look for a specific comment and add a string "'account; password'," below into to a js array. In clear text. On the website. One doesn't even have to breach the db, it's just there, F12 and you got all the log ins.

Seriously, we really need a licensing system for devs, those were two or three years this shit was live, 53 accounts... Now I've gotta decipher this entire bowl of spaghetti just to see if he has done any more unspeakable things.

guys my linux is not booting !
reply:
Find a forest, where no human has ever set foot.
Wait until the full moon rises, and then sacrifice x virgins, where x is the month of the year.
Spill their blood on your device, and wrap in parma ham (if your religion forbids you to make contact with ham, replace it with high quality carpaccio. If you're vegan get youreslf a rope).
Then, build an altar to the gnu God, with feet spelling GPL, and a head that like of a gnu.
When this is done, you shall bow down three times to the altar (thirty if you use tabs), place your wrapped bloody system on the altar, and proceed with dancing on Staying Alive, except you will have adapted the lyrics to your system.
When you are done dancing and chanting, you shall lie down in front of the altar, and you shall not gaze upon your system till daybreak.
Then when the sun rises (sorry if you're in the uk, or one of the poles) you will marvel at your system, thanking the ever potent gnu god forever.

The funniest shit I have ever read 🤣 ... had to share

I'm done with f/e. I so fucking hate it .
I fucking hate implementing weird highly animated websites designed by gurus
I fucking hate making them accessible.
I hate working on weird code generated by my coworkers and jump on projects with 0 specs.
I fucking hate this whole bloatware called javascript.
I fucking hate morons who think they know it all.

I'm fucking disgusted by the job market with their whole job specs ( Oh you don't have 5 year experience in some fucking stupid library I don't give a flying fuck. Too bad, we can't hire you )

And most importantly I fucking hate the day I chose f/e development instead of smth else.

Now at 29 I'm fucking stuck with this shit with no energy and patience to learn something else or at least jump on b/e or anything that is not related to web dev or js.

Sorry for so many fuckings but I had a breakdown.

Love ya.

I fucking did it!!!!!!!

I fucking passed my last exam!!!!!!!!!!!

It fucking took me 6 YEARS of college to finally graduate a 4 year college!!!!!!!!!!!

I fucking have to do my finishing thesis before i get my degree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!fcuck you

I fucking suffered so fucking much!!!!!!!!!!!

Last fucking exam was databases 1 and i fucking passeD ON THE FIRST TRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lick my balls play with them

WTF?????????????????????

I fucking spilled blood to get here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!shuh

I fucking am still mentally stunned!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fucking I cannot wrap my fucking head around what just fucking happened!!!!!!!!!!

I fucking expected to fail and take another exam next week but I PASSED??? ON THE FIRST TRY?????????????

My fucking gpa is shit BUT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IM DONE WITH STUDYING COLLEGE!!! FOR EVER!! FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE BRUH WTF THIS IS UNREAL IT FEELS LIKE I JUST SERVED THESE 25 YEARS OF PRISON AND NOW IM FINALLY GETTING OUT OF JAIL AFTER 25 FUCKING YEARS!! ALL MY LIFE I COULDNT DO SHJT I LOVED TO DO CAUSE I SACRIFICED MY LIFE TO SCHOOL. WAS IT WORTH IT? NO. FUCK THIS GOOFY AHH SHIT. I HOPE THIS DEGREE PAYS OFF CAUSE I DIDNT LEARN ALMOST SHIT IN HERE

Okay so even at my advance 52 years of age, I still pull all nighters to handle emergency remediation projects, and clean up other peoples messes. I don't mind, I'm a geek, I get high on the challenge of fixing shit that is broken all to hell.

But tonight was different. Tonight has me raging.

I am tasked with renovating a website, and building a sister site to that main site as well. no bother, I haven't done any web dev in 15 years but I'll power through pulling 18 to 20 hours a day for a couple of weeks to get in the groove...

Little did I know... CSS is a pain in the ass to be sure, but FLEXBOX is total and complete bullshit.

I don't give to shits about all the fancy shit it can do, it can't do simple shit worth a damn. Fuck Flexbox, and anyone involved in producing that useless layout model.

The sheer number of idiots promoting that hunk of shit a solution that is to be applied to any task other than wiping my ass is astounding.

Fuck all you jerk offs out there posting your shitty mark up turds as if they are gold, when you know better than anyone it works, sometimes, then doesn't, and is so easy to break it may as well be called "Web Design Jenga".

I'm still tired as hell, and tomorrow I will go back to slogging through CSS as the layout method, but at least I feel a little better now.

Oh and before I forget FUCK YOU FLEXBOX you piece of shit.

I don't always listen to music while coding, but when I do, it's because things are absolutely unmitigably fucked and it's going to take some herculean effort to unfuck it.

I have this thing I've done for more years than my kids have been alive when shit really hits the fan and I need to show the staff the old lady can still lay waste.

Step 1: put on "the playlist," which consists of only the most aggressive 90s marilyn manson songs.*
Step 2: put on the headphones, which are noise cancelling and super bassy
Step 3: pound a monster (blue, obv)
Step 4: get super manic
Step 5: get in the zone and destroy several features or a flotilla of bugs in a single night
Step N: make absolute fucking magic
Step N+1: call in sick the next day and sleep til noon

What's your hero process?

*Content has less to do with it than the headspace I've come to associate with it and the fact I can't get drowsy with the constant aggression.

Fucking sharepoint
I’m fuckin done, editing this website layout is like teaching a kid with ie brain, worse is I need to use a fuckin sharepoint designer 2013 and I’m working on online sharepoint so everytime I saved something it’s delayed and my screen acts like having a motherfuckin seizure when I accidentally scrolled it. Not to mention grid doesn’t work here so I need to lay it out the fuckin old way. Oh the client also wants a fancy navbar so I literally hide the sharepoint desinger navbar and using js create my own navbar inside the container. Fuck you for creating this shit and actually sell it to people, it’s like working on a fucking old tech

IPod didn't sync well on my Linux machines so decided to give windows - in a highly isolated environment disconnected from the Internet behind a firewall and sandbox - a shot with itunes.

- during the installation it wouldn't detect the fucking harddrive multiple times (genuine unlicensed copy) and after the 4-5th time it's random-fuckingly recognized out of fucking nowhere; I didn't change shit.
- crashes (blue screen and freezes) multiple times during the installation, multiple retries and suddenly it works(?!)
- it took about 10 minutes (!!!!!!!) to install 10+ drivers for an iPod and an external hdd:
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done

WHY INSTALL THOSE FUCKERS 5 FUCKING TIMES?!

- iTunes installation fails multiple times without error code (unknown error occured, restoring to original state...),just said fuck it and clicked the shortcut after the ***th fail and it works just like this, THANKS FOR NOTIFYING ME (NOT)!
- iTunes has to restore the entire ipod, this was done with iTunes in the store I bought it already, thanks for nothing.
-restore takes 30+ minutes?!
-syncs the iPod 3 times afterwards.

*clicks close button*
*are you sure you want to quit? Sync in progress*
*oh shit, cancels*
*itunes quits*
*?!?!?*

*tries to import media library*
*seagate hdd suddenly not detected*

I'm fucking tired of this bullshit, windows and iTunes can go die in a fucking corner after getting ass raped while their genitals are being scraped off layer by fucking layer and dipped into fucking acid.

Today a colleague of mine asked me to help with some javascript. So I said sure, it will be done in 5 minutes. Im a fullstack developer with a focus on backend in this project.
So I opened the frontend part and was amazed how shit the javascript file was. Yes you read it right FILE...
One big file with a lot of variables in the window scope.
Because she was in “charge” of the frontenders because she works there a bit longer then me I never checked the frontend code.
I said I wont/cant help unless I see better code. I explained to a trainee what could be done to change it and Im impressed that the trainee did a better job then the employee and quick as well.
Got the whole code in seperate files with each part of the code in seperate scopes within 2 hours.

What Im saying here is that even as student, intern or trainee you can know things better thsn someone with experience, dont be afraid to speak up. Because everyone can learn from eachother.

Worst experience with a higher up?

At an old contract job (around 2013), I was contracted by the company to help guide their developers with me to rewrite their software (it was buggy as shit, they didn't know better.).

So, a month later, we are in the middle of the rewrite and the boss flies in pissed that it's not done yet, he had the audacity to accuse me of stealing contract work with no experience in the area.

I told him flat out, "you don't know what the hell you are talking about. If you didn't hire a JV coding team, you wouldn't need me to redirect your damn rewrite."

He fired me, so I went to his superior and told her the situation. She told me i completely deserved it.

Worse part was I got paid half of my contract. Didnt make that mistake again. 😒😒

Found out later that the company failed, declared bankruptcy. Felt pretty happy.

Damn, credit cards are so fucking secure these days that you hardly can BUY shit with them!
I need some special electronics that I only can get from a vendor in the US, which is overseas. Click click, buy, done. Well no, credit card refused. WTF? Click retry link. No, still refused. FUCK.
Called up the 24/7 hotline of my CC company. Oh yeah, that got blocked by the security system, somehow. We disable that for 20 minutes, just retry. Clicked retry link at the vendor. No failure mail. Hmmm, too good to be true?! Called up the electronics vendor. Yeah should work, stuff is in the warehouse stage. 40 minutes later: credit card declined. FUCK.
Called up the CC company again. Ok, disable blocker for one hour. Nice advice from them, tell the vendor it's only 45 minutes so that there's some buffer. Clicked retry link at the vendor and called them up to make sure that they retry before the time runs out.
LO AND BEHOLD, I could finally pay the shit!!

Fuck College, Fuck C, Fuck the people that didnt help me with my C code and in fact made my problems worse and didn't fucking help me, Fuck the bastard that decided to give my the largest mountain of homework, fuck my inability to get shit done, fuck myself for not getting motivated to do anything. And also fuck Javascript cause its JavaScript.

Edit: IM ALSO FUCKING RETARDED

This happened sometime back..

A guy came to our university with a social network that he created. It was for students and professors to interact, to form study groups and earn points as they mark done topic as "studied". He made a deal with our university, so everyone was forced to sign up for this.

While he was giving a demo of the website, me and my friend started ranting.

"This website is shit. Why are we forced to use this?"

"This UI looks just like LinkedIn"

"This top bar is right out of bootstrap"

"I have seen that graph in one of the libraries. He didn't even change the defaults."

Another friend who was sitting besides us was hearing all this.

"I don't understand a word you guys are talking. It is too high level for me"

We replied, "Don't worry. We will talk in low level. 00101110010101..."

For fucks sake I'm getting tired of this company. We have an app that's been developed on a VERY tight budget with a team and it's nearly completed/basically done few fixes here and there. They keep going to meetings with clients and promising more than the fucking app does! BITCH IT TOOK 6 MONTHS OF DEV TIME IF YOU WANTED THOSE OTHER FEATURES WHY DIDN'T YOU PUT IT IN THERE SOME FUCKING TIME.

And now since I'm in charge of the remnants of whats left, they keep asking me to make demos of ridiculous new features to show to new clients. BUT THATS NOT WHAT THE FUCKING UP DOES AND WERE OUT OF BUDGET!!!

I explain this. Every fucking day. I'm told they understand. Then I'm asked to make a fucking glittery demo with some bullshit features we don't have YET FUCKING AGAIN. BITCH I WILL QUIT THIS SHIT!

IF I SPEND ALL MY TIME MAKING THE FUCKING DEMOS, I CANT FINISH THE MAIN APP YOU FUCKTARDS. STOP PROMISING SHIT WE DONT HAVE!

Prof: So yeah this is going to be difficult. We're going to make the scalable math library. Then we have to make a functional finite elements library using that. Then make a multiphysics engine using that library. This could easily take your entire PhD. Are you prepared for that?

Me: May I show you something?

Prof: Sure, sure.

Me, showing him: We can use moose to code in the multiphysics. It's built atop libmesh for the finite elements. Which can be built with a petsc backend. Which we can run on GPUs and CPUs, up to 200k cores. All of this has been done for us. This project will, at worst, take a couple months.

Prof: ...

Guys, libraries. Fucking. Libraries. Holy fucking shit.

When you have a product owner who, on her first day of the project, asks you ' What do you mean by UI?' and a week later question a UI dev why should something take 3 days?

Are you fucking kidding me? I am done with this shit.

We can compile, transpile, and do all sorts of fucky internet things through an entire development pipeline and then troubleshoot through all sorts of hackery and dev sorcery to output html.

Or I can just index.php and be done with it.

I dunno man, I dig frontend and using the popular js libs to put shit online and be done without having to deal with the fuckery that is wasm or use something similar to Rust to bring shit to my clients.

9 times out of 10, these dudes have been well served with the php or node or even golang that i give them.

Seems that a lot of tools coming up just make shit harder.

Even VBScript seems simpler compared to the amount of web fuckery going on right now.

Yeah I keep current, but fuck, every day it seems as if shit was just getting more and more complex

Tech support for Friend...
Again...

Ok...
A friend ran down the hallway to my Appartement, I opened the door for him and asked him "What The Fuck... Is wrong with you?!" He was just coughing like...
My... Laptop.... Is... Slow...
When he then eventually came to the point where he could Breath normally again I asked him to login into his by then super with shitty software bloated PC... It was a mess... A Desktop full of Shit... only Shit... I
then opened Chrome and Task Manager...
and holy shit... EVERYTHING! Literally ANYTHING was under 100% Load... Yet his shitty Fans werent spinning up... Shutdown the Laptop and opened it... not to my surprise it was full of Dust... I cleaned it and booted it again... still 100% Load... I couldnt do shit without being bombarded with porn and Hentai Ads... So... I asked him "Did you make any backups to this machine?" He was like.. "*Really long explenation* No *Really long Explenation*"
Great... i thought to myself... Then I said to him his PC was so trash that i only could Reset it to 0... He was like DO ANYTHING YOU CAN LITERALLY ANYTHING!
I then explained him, Resetting this PC Means literally 0 A Fresh start, nothing of your data will be there literally nothing...
He again Was like DO IT!
So I did... When it was done i showed him the result... He FREAKED OUT LIKE THE WORLD WAS GOING TO FUCKING END, HE SCREAMED AT ME WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE? REVERSE IT! REVERSE IT NOW!
I Then said to him, I reset it to 0, I said this would happen...
He then took his now perfectly running Laptop and Ran away...

tl;dr
Tech support for friend, Reset PC to 0, Freaked out AF...

I explained my latest project to a non developer friend. I told him I'm almost done with the code, now I just need to debug and get it ready for production.

"Why don't you write code that doesn't have any bugs?"

"Holy shit! I never thought about that! Thank you so much, I'll make sure to write bug free code from now on".

Hey guys and ladys. I've got another little rant about my teacher.
As some of you may know, i finished my final exams last week, so basically every relevant grade is done. Every teacher except of my special snowflake programming teacher spends the lessons casually talking with us (some even say we dont need to show up anymore).
Little backstory: Grades need to be done on 18th, June and i get my certificate on 22nd.

Back to my rant. Special Snowflake is different. He wants ANOTHER project. This is totally his idea and is nowhere mentioned in our curriculum. It has to be done until next friday, it has to be C# and we need a detailed documentation. This wouldn't be a problem normally - if I wouldn't be moving at the moment. Special Snowflake knows this but doesn't care.
Except from the criteria above he wants it to be:
- fancy
- loved by everyone. Literally we need to make something EVERYBODY wants in their daily life
- good looking
- everyone should want to pay money for this

How am I supposed to come up with an idea and program the shit out of it in less than 2 weeks, which i need to paint my new office and pack some more stuff.

Junior coder says validation is not needed on asp.net mvc form pages because it is not in the requirements or part of the definition of done. Wants to argue about it. Refuses to do it. Says I am over optimizing or some shit like that. Good luck with that. If you can't figure that one out or listen to feedback perhaps you should become a project manager not a programmer.

So... Some fake accounts on Twitter claimed to be Elon Musk and to give shitloads of Bitcoin to those who sent a little amount first. They stole... Wait for it... 180 grand.

That's basically your everyday 419 scam. Existing since before the internet, done with the names of Gates, Buffet, Bush, Obama...

They say "the big bad evil criminals and the poor little innocent victims" I say natural selection. Sorry, in those lion vs gazelle scenarios I always thought that it was fair, no matter how it went.

Just when did humanity get so brainless? Have we always been, is the internet just a catalyst for stupidity?

Just why the fuck must I be an infosec sheepdog instead of a wolf? Man, I could live the life, drink beer and smoke herb while working... Get up at 12, don't give a shit, no boss, no taxes, no social security payments that I don't see jack shit from, and the pay would be better to.

Damn.

"As a team, we have the shared responsibility to ___".

(replace with ALL of the following: resolve bugs, do junior's code reviews, clean up dead code, keep the kitchen clean, improve test coverage, write documentation, order coffee beans, etc)

NO. JUST FUCKING STOP RIGHT THERE. Shared responsibilities do not exist. A single person is responsible, and can optionally delegate tasks.

EITHER I DO IT AND I'LL BE FUCKING AWESOME AT IT, OR SOMEONE ELSE DOES — BUT I'LL SLAP SLACKERS IN THE GENITALS WITH MY KEYBOARD.

Fucking startup hipsters with their community driven attitude, this way no shit gets done, ever.

Using 10% React with the rest in Jquery. Importing a giant legacy CSS blob in a newly made SCSS file. Two thirds of the API documentation in docblocks, the rest in Markdown files. Half of the repositories in Github, the other half in Bitbucket. The root of every project littered with ymls and jsons and readmes of stupidly named tools no one has ever heard of.

Fuck your partial refactoring, fuck your little experiments, fuck all this half work. I'm so done with this shit. 😡

I just realized the most fucked up shit that leads me to wanna runaway from this job even more...

On the beginning (3 years ago) I used to be really thrilled , plan things really professionally, make models, uml, all the shit, try to fix things and everything you should expect from a great dev.

The problem is that in 3 years I had to "replan" so much things and so desperately quickly and have so many rework with such shitty projects that I kind of panic every time I have to plan something and I end up thinking I'm not capable of developing complex systems anymore.

All because these fucking managers that never make their mind, so my mind sees this:

"Fuck, 10 months for this shit that could have been done in 1 ? You suck dude."

Actually is management that sucks.
I've been doing some small projects on the side, just for the sake of it and boy, I'm rocking it.

My self esteem is coming back on tracks.

Fuck those fucker, they can die chocking on their own misery.

Fuck big tech companies. Fuck their surveillance capitalism. Fuck their monopolies and anti-competitive bullshit. Fuck their tax dodging. Fuck their fighting against the right to repair. Fuck their worship of revenue above all else. Fuck their 30% cut on everything. Fuck their world-destroying revenue models built on heartless AI and zero customer service. Fuck their automated banning systems with zero explanation as to why the fuck they've banned you, with zero fucking recourse. Fuck their amoral psychopathic CEOs and their fucking space rockets. Fuck all this shit. When I'm done with this IT project I'm fucking done with tech.

Okay I'm done now.

Hmmm there are several

Senior dev would leave for weeks(he was company co owner) and would blame shit not being done on me even though he gave me no access to his codebase. Shit back fired right in his face.

Senior dev called me an idiot(different company) for stating that I learned about MVC from Rails. I have no clue what triggered that reaction, but the way he said it really ticked me off. It was on a remote position, left soon, the dude was s cunt.

Next goes for my office: we yell random shit all the time, from racist to sexist to all around disturbing because we are constantly unsupervised.

Head of department knows:P he laughs with us.

Why do we backend people have to be born handicapped for creating anything that doesn't look like absolute shit.

I'm trying to pick a primary color for my landing page for about three days now and I'm starting to lose my shit.

Can we all just start using fucking CLI apps and be done with the whole design thing.

I'm investigating PRs for a super legacy codebase. Someone else already approved the PRs -- somebody who has never even run the code or had the project set up before.

The codebase hasn't been touched in two years, and it hasn't been updated in four. It's using CoffeeScript, Node v0, Electron v0.30, and Angular 1.x. I obviously don't have a dev environment anymore, either, and my previous dev env was on Windows, so I'll have to translate my custom build utilities from batch to bash (or much more likely: node).

To make matters worse: the PRs break both the initial project setup and the project itself (NPM can no longer find some installed packages, among other problems). And. someone already merged them into master. So: fuck.

I'm going to yell at the author and tell him to fix his shit. Why? Because when I check out my last commit prior to his PRs, everything works perfectly. Surprise!

I was so done with this project two and a half years ago. I'm still so done with it. I just don't want to maintain this anymore, or honestly even look at it. I would happily rebuild the project from scratch, but updating it from the days of IE8? No way.

Being a good developer is knowing how to balance writing perfect code with getting shit done. Working lean means half your stuff in going to die anyway, so fighting for the corpse just wastes everybody's time

Why don't devs read the fucking docs?

Time and time again I find my coworkers inventing new ways of doing stuff that could easily be done with existing features.

Today I saw this on a code review (functions are from lodash):

head(filter(...))

That's what fucking `find` does, you dense motherfucker!

This is just a tiny example. I've seen so much of this shit. Sometimes it's almost art how they find ways to solve problems without actually reading the docs.

Dear Product Owners,

If you tell me how I need to architect my software again I'm going to ask you to provide a network topology of the architecture you want me to build.

I'll also need you to request the new servers, work with the ops teams to setup credentials, provision the NAT, register the domains and document the routes that the proxy will need to use.

then I'll need you to hook the repo up to our non-existent pipeline so that I can make sure I won't do all that testing I already can't do.

I hope you're paying attention, because that framework you told me I needed to use is going to be a pain to setup correctly.

after you're done with that, please attach any documentation you shit out to the ticket you never created.

Enragedly yours,
Looking for a new job

PS: get fucked

Finally, the jeezless present is done.. fuck this shit, where's my booze and my bed?! 😒

Anyway, it's essentially a power bank with LED's attached to it. The LED matrix is at the back side and looks reasonably decent (but I don't wanna disclose the age it's displaying). It's powered through a 47ohm resistor and is directly attached to the 5V lines. Yellow LED's with 2V voltage drop that have each number completely parallelized, and then those numbers are put in series to increase the combined forward voltage of the LED's to 4V. That way the circuit is around 80% efficient (resistor drops 1V, LED's drop the remaining 4V). Other than that, nothing too special. It did take 2 nights to build though.. way too much for a mere formality 😑

Boss : going to up you as a project manager!
Coworker1 : well done bro
Boss : with all you knowledges, you'll be able to make great diagnotics, evaluate time for each task and lead the team
Coworker2 : you're wrong..

Me : hell no, doing stats and evaluate your shit ? Overcomunicating ?

Boss : you don't accept ?

Me : of course no! Opening my ide twice a week ? I need more fun .

Holy shit why can't you just work. Stop talking about your kids from 9 am to 5pm with the orther person sitting next to you who clearly wants to get some work done.

Also, good on you for baking a cake and your kid saying this is the best cake. Every kid says that to your parent.

FFS, shut up and work, and let people around you work.

P.S. I need good headphones, preferably in ear wireless buds. I'm waiting for Pixel Buda 2.

i am fucking tired of companies that come to me expecting to magically fix their STEAMING PILE OF BULLSHIT AND TRASH CODE. how about when i ask "can i get a project brief", instead of saying "just fix it" or "it just needs to do this", GIVE ME A FUCKING COHERENT AND DESCRIPTIVE WRITEUP OF EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED. i can't read your minds, let alone read the code the previous cock sucking developer wrote, so guess what? i'm left with no other option but to completely rewrite it. to top it off, instead of giving me god damn excuses as to why you can't get me the api key for your order processing, MAKE A NEW ACCOUNT AND GET IT TO ME. how the fuck do you expect me to test an application when i don't even have access to the fucking api the whole shit pile is based around? i swear to god if these people expect me to have this done by the end of the week but want to be little cunt nuggets they can go eat shit. fuck you, fuck your "contract", fuck your company, FUCK EVERYTHING. greedy, shit faced bastards

Annoying thing happened at work as usual -> can't get the mood to code -> procrastinate -> finally get my shit together -> get some work done -> shit it's 07.00 PM I should be going home already -> still coding because I started late -> shit it's 09.00 PM -> get the fuck home -> I need time to be alone and relieve stress by surfing the web -> shit it's 02.00 AM -> try to get some sleep -> Why did she left me? How's dad doing? God I think I that function that I coded today is awful, gotta fix it tomorrow. Am I going to afford a house EVER? Fuck what I'm doing with my life. -> Shit it's 05.00 AM, I MUST SLEEP. -> (kinda sleep) -> Fuck it's 10.00 shit shit shit shit -> arrive at work -> I'm not ready to open the code -> procrastinate -> ...

A 40 ish woman who works with economics said "you don' know anything about AI because you're only 16". I then proceeded to show her my shitty AI me and my friend made and explained how it worked. (It was really shit but would still consider it an AI)

She just stood there and was pretending to understand so when I was done explaining about it, I told her not to assume you're smarter than a 16 year old just because you're older and have read some article about AI on The Daily Mail.

Folks...

I think I need to get away from web development...

Honestly, no grudge held against web/mobile development itsef... But the projects, the teams, the workflows... It's always shitty af.

I'm fed up with the bad architecture, poor management decisions, unmaintained legacy code, broken windows, arrogant juniors, arrogant seniors, code smells left to rot, the freaking red door... Hell! The fucking "we don't have time for that" answer to testing... Damn!

Been there done that.

Feels like it's always the same crap and unfortunately, it's rare to start a professional project from scratch.

Fucking angular, broken piece of shit.
Fucking react (& RN) community modules, broken pieces of shit.
Fucking lazy-ass node developers.
Fucking ES and fucking garbage proposals submitted to the TC39.

I wish I could do Haskell / Rust / Clojure professionally... I could even enjoy Go with a good team... Anything but that huge pile of dogshit JS and its community of brainfucked so-called developers.

Probably the last person to enter this, but fuck, it's done! Somewhat, but not totally inspired by this week's theme, I went to Ikea today and bought this brand-new beauty, along with a rug and small LED strip and OH. MY. GOD.

Technically didn't clean it off because it has never been dirty before. More pics in the comments. Holy shit I love it.

I FIXED THE FINAL BUG WITH MY OWN SOLUTION AND NOW IT WORKS, I EVEN SENT MY 5GB FUCKING TXT FILE.

ALTHOUGH IT TOOK FOREVER BECAUSE I FORGOT TO INCREASE THE BUFFER SIZE FROM 1KB SO IT TOOK A BIT.

BUT NOW ALL I NEED TO DO IS POLISH, MAKE SOME QUALITY OF LIFE CHANGES AND I CAN PUT THAT SHIT ON GITHUB!

THIS IS MY SECOND FINISHED PROJECT! But I do gotta thank an online friend that has been teaching me the concepts of network programming without him I couldn’t have done it. Also I’ve learned so much about how shit works thanks to him/and the project.

I might have told this in other rants, but this thing (requested from the client) is one of the worst thing I've ever done.

So we were developing a website to find the stores of a certain brand across the country, specifically: Italy.
In Italy, a lot of towns have accents and apostrophes in their name.
Client managers wanted ALL DATA to be capitalized, including letters with accents, but the client management was using Windows and Windows doesn't simply let you enter capital letters with accents from the keyboard, so the client requested to make a procedure to turn every apostrophe into an accent, therefore a town named like "CA' DEL BOSCO" would be "CÀ DEL BOSCO" (which is wrong) as they just couldn't bother copy-pasting from Word.

An important thing to notice is that most Italian towns with apostrophes don't have accents and most towns with accents don't have apostrophes, and that specific routine couldn't figure out what to exactly, so we ended up having all the stuff messed up.

The feature was a total SHIT, but the client was extremely happy with it, so we didn't even bother arguing with that.

I just realised that I've been experiencing a lot of stress and frustration over the last couple of months. I also realised that these feelings of dread and existential anxiety stem from my heavy use of Ubuntu. So I ended another agonizing 3 hours of trying-to-get-internet-access-again-so-I-can-get-some-fucking-work-done and managed to blow off some steam without causing too much property damage. Then I sat down and thought about it. And you know what? I hate Ubuntu.

With Window$ I can at least get some work done without having to write my own network drivers because the current ones do not function when the day of month is a prime number or some shit.

Good documentation is always a fucking good experience man.

And I particularly like how the Vue.js documentation is laid out. Straight up the framework is:
Easy to use
Concise
Has a lot of sane ideas
Good separation of concerns
Good Typescript integration
A really good cli tool

And above all this good shit is the documentation. Of all the major JS fronted tools I would say that this one is the one i like working with the most all in account of how easy to find the shit that I need is. Have built some otherwise complex shit using nothing more than documentation....albeit i have done this with most frontend shit i use.

Started work: 9:30am
Finished work: 9:30pm

Finally finished my "basically done" ticket from two days ago, though I'm still not sure if it's behaving correctly. It deals with the Apple wallet and iPhone notifications, and all I have is an emulator, so. 😕 Things work as expected maybe half the time? and idfk why. I'm going to leave the actual testing to QA since they have actual iPhones and it'll run on staging on actual servers with actual connectivity and actual pushes, so maybe then things will actually make sense. Until then? So done.

Started drinking: 9:30pm
Finished drinking: TBD

<media lyrics="I don't know what the fuck just happened but I don't really care, imma get the fuck up outta here. Fuck this shit i'm out" />

So, I decided to post this based on @Morningstar's conundrum.

I'm dissatisfied with the laptop market.

Why THE FUCK should I have to buy a gaming laptop with a GTX 1070 or 1080 to get a decent amount of RAM and a fucking great processor?

I don't game. I program. I don't even own a fucking Steam library, for clarification. Never have I ever bought a game on Steam. Disproving the notion that I might have a games library out of the way, I run Linux. Antergos (Arch-based) is my daily driver.

So, in 2017 I went on a laptop hunt. I wanted something with decent specs. Ultimately ended up going with the system76 Galago Pro (which I love the form factor of, it's nice as hell and people recognize the brand for some fucking reason). Matter of fact, one of my profs wanted to know how I accessed our LMS (Blackboard) and I showed him Chromium....his mind was blown: "Ir's not just text!"

That aside, why the fuck are Dell and system76 the only ones with decent portables geared towards developers? I hate the prospect of having to buy some clunky-ass Republic of Gamers piece of shit just to have some sort of decent development machine...

This is a notice to OEMs: yall need to quit making shit hardware and gaming hardware with no mid-range compromise. Shit hardware is defined as the "It runs Excel and that's all the consumer needs" and gaming hardware is "Let's put fucking everything in there - including a decent processor, RAM, and a GTX/Radeon card."

Mid-range that is true - good hardware that handles video editing and other CPU/RAM-intensive tasks and compiling and whatnot but NOT graphics-intensive shit like gaming - is hard to come by. Dell offers my definition of "mid-range" through Sputnik's Ubuntu-powered XPS models and what have you, and system76 has a couple of models that I more or less wish I had money for but don't.

TBH I don't give two fucks about the desktop market. That's a non-issue because I can apply the logic that if you want something done right, do it yourself: I can build a desktop. But not a laptop - at least not in a feasible way.

We have RGB shit in computers...
We have dev ducks...
We need programmable RGB dev ducks that can change their color with a scripting interface.

If you choose to make your duck's color correspond to the compiler warning and errors displayed this can be done. Also, maybe have it plays sounds too.

So there is this one person who keeps asking for help from everybody and expects them to do their code .... And surprisingly they do....

I was done with that shit when I was expected to code for the person .... So I did do it with a comment saying "I have no idea why I get paid" 😂😂😂

I'm waiting for the reviewer to notice this now 😂😂😂

I love GDB on CLI!

I'm using an OSS tool for multi-threaded testing stuff, and it's nice but segfaulted after 30 minutes.

I was too lazy to set up an IDE project and click through tons of stupid shit, so I just compiled the tool with debug symbols, fired up GDB on CLI, let it run until a crash, got a strack trace and quickly found the problem.

I sent a bug analysis to the author, plus a patch which got accepted, done.

"Don't you like the new site? (:"
I mean yeah, it's an upgrade from what was done in 2011 with 2007 recycled code.
But now the first access takes almost 10 seconds.
10
seconds.
Was fucking WordPress necessary?
We went from a hotel booking PHP template to a blogging template.
60+ freaking Mb of shit, not just content but *shit*. (from the admin panel, only 3 of the 10+ sections are needed)
At least they won't bother me now about the main page frontend.
Oh wait, they do. So I had to learn how to hack the theme header behaviour because of course, cute boy WordPress couldn't care less on how the header behaves. I see more hacks incoming of fucking course.

Man I fucking hate WordPress.

!dev

I come from a small shitty valley where all that people want to achieve is getting approved for loans to buy more cows and shit.. My only friend comes from there as well but he’s different, more like me.. build a life, get out and pursuit something better and bigger..
We grew up smoking everything we could and drinking everything we got because what else are we gonna do, put shit on fire? Been there, done that.. it sucks growing up on the poop hole of the world.
We both left that shithole and started careers but he’s throwing it all out the window.. he’s getting caught with weed, DUI and shit. just a few years ago he got off of more serious drugs.. He built a career and shit for about 10 years but right now he’s just throwing it all away because drugs are in his comfort zone. But he has to go give Pias samples for a while now and if he doesn’t stop he is not getting his license back and the unemployment insurance won’t even pay him because (although he lost the job because of Covid) they said it’s because he smokes weed.
Without the license goes his career as he’s a service electrician.

So fucking hurtful to see, man.
And so hard to accept that he won’t listen and than I’m not his dad who can tell him what to do..

90% of the kids I grew up with who managed to leave that shit hole ended up as homeless junkies.. I guess I’m happy to have the mindset to not end up like them.. and that’s really all it is, the mindset is the only difference (which is complex in itself of course like parenting and stuff)

What.. the actual... fuuuuuck?!

Browsing through changes on TFS (yeah, yeah boo me for using TFS instead of git if you like, I don't care, most people use/prefer TFS here, so I conform 'to the standards'..)

Anyhow, going through changes, looking for the one where some comment appeared..

'a wild comment appeared'.. tadaaah!

Checked the rest of changes.. Hm.. Someone did a validity check.. that returns the 'false' if not passed.
// OK, great! They are finally testing their shit and fixing stuff..
But apparently then they decided it is OK to do all the shit anyways.. so WTF?!
Why even bother validating it?! Oh yeah, forgot... cuz in case it returned false YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO LET SOME STUFF HAPPEN!! But they weren't assigned with that exact task I guess..

TO DO:
- do the validation algo // fml, not going into how fucked up that was written..but it was horrible!
- do validity check where appropriate/needed
- test validity check and that it doesn't break functionality

+ check if the validation actually logically works?! nope, not on my to do list, not my job..

All done, better not actually do something that requires you to think.. :\

How the fuck that happened?! How can one person be assigned to check if something is stupid/wrong?! and when checking (&confirming) still lets the customer do that shit anyways?! What's the point?! O.O

I used to use WinBtrfs on Windows to get away from the clusterfuck that is NTFS on my WD Elements. But today I figured.. why? Why not just mount the drives to my file server already? I mean even over a USB 2.0 link, a USB 3.0 drive will perform decently. Not as good as my RAID-0 array there for sure, but still. So, that's it.. fuck it. Done with trying to get WanBLowS to adapt to my needs. Decent drives for a decent operating system, all the 10TB straight to my file server!! Then WanBLowS can go jerk itself in its clusterfuck of NTFS and SMB shit, while the actual grunt work is done by something that's at least reliable and won't shit itself - Linux. As it should be done!!! Trying to get WanBLowS to manage something more important than browsing the Phasebuk, what was I even thinking?!

The ammount of digging I have to do in order to fix something or building the mindset to do something i don't want to.

I have a mental block regarding people telling me what to do. I consider myself a pretty chill dude, but when someone says "do this" my mind automatically goes into "oh fuck that" mode.

I hate being this way, wish I could just switch that shit off and work on what i am told and be done with it.

I can spend all weekend fucking around with php. But the moment someone tells me to do something at work with it I start dreading it

This applies to damn near everything in life except for anything that has to do with my children.

My dad was neglectful as fuck, that itself makes me overly paranoid of making my children feel the same way I did growing up. Just wanted to throw that out.

It seems I did some progress today! Thanks Dr Devrant!
Dr Devrant: tell me about your father
Me: motherfucker sucks camel balls

So I started in a new job a week ago for a two weeks probation period, im getting payed double than my last job but it's so professionally frustrating.

They use a full php stack with a framework called tinymvc that I never heard of and the last commit is from 2009.

Beside this they implement some sort of "flexible" MVC where a great amount of the logic are inside the views. They have one model for each entity (in theory) but in reality one model have methods for a lot of tables.

Beside this the i18n is done by querying the database for all the translation strings and copying it in every user session, so every session file it's about 400kb where around 380 are duplicated translations.

The views folder is empty because they decided to modify the framework to look for the views in another folder called resource's and the development must be done connected directly to the production database

Above all this shit all the many-to-many relations in the database (MySQL) are handled creating a comma separated field on one of the tables, completely breaking the reference integrity.

So, after a week of work I can't stop thinking who the fuck developed this? In which world this shit is okay? How can I work around this big lake of shit?

I just logged into my bank account to see that everything has changed. More basic, primitive styling and in general it is shit. Why am I ranting about this, because I could tell from looking that it has been done to be more mobile friendly. Sure enough I resized the screen and everything snapped into place like it would on a mobile.

Now I've got to put up with an inefficient and more time consuming UX all because some twat in the bank has decided to pander to mobile devices nearly ten years after they've been introduced even though there's already a mobile banking app for that.

Responsive design is like living with a dwarf, because one of you is small, nobody else is allowed to have cupboards on walls anymore. Bastards!

I started doing this internship(my first internship; unpaid). I worked my ass off for the guy. He didn't have shit for a developer and I worked the best to my knowledge. Did all the work given to me during the internship.
After the internship was done, the guy expected me to work even after that because he felt that I owed him something for giving me the internship and I should feel obliged to work more for free. I asked for money. Nope.
Final Talk with him: He says I am a disrespectful fellow who will never succeed in industry.

This is fucking crazy right. He is the son of a bitch not me? Correct? Was I supposed to work after internship if the work wasn't done even if I didn't want to.

How did you find devRant? I was on YouTube watching a video then a Wix ad came up. After listening to the first sentence "Learn how to design your own website..." I stopped the video because of how bullshit it was. I went to Google and type in: "Wix is shit" and found a small rant here with the literal string. I decided to make an account and comment on it. But my comment was too long so I shaved a few words off. And went to the feed when I was done and liked the content.

So I've been working a lot with Docker lately (who isn't) and there was this one service always DIEING on me.
Docker logs showed me that it was killed because the container was unhealthy.
I researched for a whole day and couldn't find it...
After I got home it hit me like a hammer...
The healthcheck uses basic Auth and the password was changed yesterday...

How the fuck could I start to try every shit before I even checked if the request done by the healthcheck is working...

FUCK ME I'M SUCH A MORON SOMETIMES

Too many night shifts.

But it's done.

After the last migrations my emotional state is... Questionable.

VM migrations between different CPU vendors and generations leading to segfaults because of unsupported X86 extensions.... Thx for doing that at 23 o'clock after 8 hours of work....

Forgetting a left over NIC in a virtual machine, creating a routing loop, leading to very erratic behaviour and fun things.

Someone forgot to check the '"Unique" box, mass spawning a cluster of VMs with same MAC adresses....

DNS fuckery since someone thought that reboot would flush the cache of an DNS server.... Nope most DNS servers have persistent caches. You'll have to flush manually.

And let's not forget the joy of the 12 plus pages of when and where to move VMs, harddrives and VLAN configuration.

Oh migrations are such a festival of joy.

Finally done with that shit -.-

General approach : I'm wasting my time by just sitting in front of computer all day. Since I'm freelancer, almost all of my work can be done at one place. They think, I should get a REAL job.

When they need help with tech : I'm the guy who knows everything about tech and can fix their mobile, printer, toaster, washing machine and nuclear warfare.

When it comes to admiring what I do, I'm just a useless piece of shit but, when they need technical assistance I'm their lord and savior!!

Who here is programming with React Native and is crying about it?

It's so volatile. Shit it has done so far:

- Randomly changed my IP location that it serves to and npm start that shows the welcome information keeps the old IP address, so I spent way too long trying to figure out why it wasn't working.

- Constantly having to rm -rf the node modules and npm i them because Expo randomly starts loading so slowly that you want to scream.

- Downgrading my react-native-scripts version in the package.json because it hangs forever on the starting packager.

- I also had to downgrade my expo dependencies because during one of my node module reinstalls, it would update the version and apparently Expo is incompatible with its own updated version.

And now I'm randomly getting an error that's apparently a known bug in one of the react dependencies and now I have to downgrade that as well.

Just. Why.

TL;DR: shitty day, but stickers made my day

First off, I'd like to thank @dfox and @trogus for the stickers.

I had a really shitty day, It started off something like this. Usual day at University, faculty not teaching anything. Messed up shit with the girl I like very much, still not talking at this point. Pretty much downhill. Start teaching myself some Android, while this junior comes up me to be like 'please teach me this', ok sure. He fucking leaves the moment I start installing homebrew on his mac and says "you exploiting my mac", NO FUCKER I NEED A PACKAGE MANAGER TO GET PACKAGES YOU DUMB FUCK. Further, that day, come to know its half day and not going to learn shit. WTF! But still, I get attendance so it's good. I suggest going to this new cool place to grab lunch. the girl I like goes like this "Let's GO TO JAILLLLLLLLL, IT'S COOL PLACE TO HANGOUTTTTT" , LIKE. WHY THE FUCK YOU WANT TO HANG OUT AT A PLACE WHICH LITERALLY IS NAMED 'JAIL'. Fuck it, let's go. SO. FUCKING. NEGATIVE. PLACE. Food is ok, not good, ok. I'm fucked up and sad at this point because love of my life is hanging out with other people, I'm ended up in the shit corner of the world, with shit food. AND I HAVEN'T DONE ANY THING PRODUCTIVE.

But in the end of the day, I reach home. open gates see this parcel and I'M HAPPY AS FUCK. IT'S FUCKING STICKERS, OMG.

Seeing those stickers I realized I don't need to be sad anymore. Writing this post just to thank this amazing community and the members in it. I love you guys all, :) <3

!rant

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

For AI, in particular Deep Learning developers, practitioners, hobbyists and otherwise people interested in the field.

If you go into the Pytorch website, click on resources and scroll down you will see a link to "Deep Learning with Pytorch" by Manning publications. This will give you access to the book, a book that if memory serves me well costs about 40+ in printing and the online book format is about 29 (again, if memory serves well)

The book is currently FREE and it does not ask you for an email address, you can just tell them why you want it for and they will give you the free pdf download.

I don't know how good the book is, but have found Manning to publish really good resources.

Do with this information what you want.

And yes, I am leaving the rant tag, so that more people can see this and take advantage of the opportunity in case of being interested and not having the money to purchase the book after the promotion is done and over with. Fuck you about tags and shit.

That I am not good enough for this shit.

Recently left my job because anxiety, a lot of it.

Tbh, I should not burntout myself, because:
- salary was a shit
- the scrum was a lie, there was no end of the sprint, so no retrospective meeting ever done.
- They change the """sprint""" task pile at any moment, usually adding more tasks for the same sprint.
- previous project manager was an idiot who said "yes" at EVERYTHING the client asked, even if the request was outside tje scope of the project.

The project was heavily delayed, and I was the only developer left on the most hideous backend you can imagine (the code was just tje very definition of "what not to do"). NO UNIT TESTING at all.

My task: clean the mess so we have a """stable""" release (with the tests), add the new features and re-do the backend again, but this time properly.

8 months of develop for this shit and they wanted the stable-shit-backend in a month and the new backend in other month "because everithing was already done in the shitty one". Do not forget the new features too.

So, I was doing the imposible to try to do tje task, overdoing hours and reading the docs of the project (because I was new in it), but it take me.a lot of effort to simply correct bugs because of complexity of the code and not understanding fully some parts of the project.

Then the comments like "why this is not finished yet?" Or "I do not understand why this is taking so long"

So, I had poor sleep, I was anxious because my inhability to do the imposible and in the end, a feeling kind of defeated because I quit.

So... that.

Sorry if something is wrong typed or so, english is not my native language.

And now they are threatening us... Brilliant!

- they refuse to sign a legal agreement with us [for our services]
- they only gave us a verbal promise they will pay for our services
- they revoke lots of our accesses
- another company is taking over their product we were hired to look after before. Now they demand us do things for them for free
- a few integrations are malfunctioning with premature EOF [while reading a response]. I had escalated this with the most throughout case analysis I have done in my entire life. Three times over the last 2 years. Explaining every single detail that needs to be done, how, by whom and how to interpret the results. Escalations went to their high level mgmt. And directly had been rerouted to /dev/null...
- now they asked us to fix this whole shit. For free ofc, they have no money to pay us..
- they begged
- when that didn't work - they started threatening to route all their customers' complaints to us and flood us with them

at first I was proud to work on their project. I didn't want to leave it when my manager asked me to. A national level project, making a difference for my own country. But now.....

that's gov, my friends. That's politics and power games.

Y'all, are internships in your area paid, unpaid or u need to pay to get one?

Our uni made internships mandatory! being from one of the country which produces largest number of engineers per year. Every godamn student from our uni is running around to get an internship! And there arises these dick heads with so called made up startups which has never done a godamn single project, just legally registered before the dawn and puts up advertisements for internship trainings!! All our uni needs is a fucking certificate from a technical company which is legally registered. And these assholes provide internship to those who pay them hella amount, and attend there couple of days just to get the certificate!! No developers! Just some random guy talking about html and css! Now thats Internship!

Fucking shit! Making money by looting students in their hard times! Students get the certificate that satisfies the uni, but for fucks sake at least bring an expert to guide them! No!! Need to stand up against this shit!

Dear Panicked Managers,

We are behind. We all know we are behind, and I would love to spend 10 hours fixing our shit.

Instead, your shit riddled brains decided that WAY too many demos, with practice demos, are the correct move! We are wasting 8 hours a week, per person working on them! That means we lose a day of development, but you are not moving deadlines and still complaining about the amount of throughput!

In those 8 hours a week, we could all build the new features, and you could throw an orgy, do lots of cocaine, beat hookers to death, do whatever CEOs do! Instead, you call us to all gather around and listen to you bitch that shit isn't getting done...

Sincerely,
Pissed Off

I can only imagine what goes through clients’ tiny brains. Do they really think: “oh I know what will get shit done, insult the developer, his work, and demand things be fixed while saying the whole system is broken even though they have multiple times in the past demonstrated that it was either me using it wrong or an extremely quick and simple fix. I also have a problem with a few listed items in particular not the whole system, but I’m gonna insult everything.”

Fucking rude fucks!

I came to this company. I saw spaghetti code. I told myself to write clean code and also clean the existing code. I took too much pressure for too little return. I am done with this shit. I will now write clean code but fuck the old spaghetti code!

New ticket:

Ticket: "I just spoke with-"

Me: "LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE! IM NOT GONNALET YOU FINISH! IS THERE A PROBLEM? THEN HAVE THE PERSON YOU SPOKE WITH / SAW THE FUCKING THING HAPPEN CONTACT ME! ALMOST NEVER IN MY LIFE HAS A GAME OF TELEPHONE EVER DONE ANYTHING BUT FUCKING DRAGGED OUT THE PROBLEM! WIDGET DOESN'T WORK? THING DOESN'T DO A NON SPECIFIED THING? FUCK YOU FOR DROPPING ALL THE INFO I NEED AND SENDING A VAGUE EMAIL!!!"

-ticket set to not gonna do shit until someone who saw the thing gets off their ass and says what is actually happening-

Why did I volunteer to this shit...

I am supposed to maintain 4 old websites (like they were written 10+ years ago..). It's written in PHP, before mysqli, so all the calls to the DB is with mysql functions.. Now the server is to be updated and run PHP7.... guess what? those functions don't exist any more.... Now I have to patch several thousand files to use the mysqli functions... And no, there is no reason to rewrite it more than that, as I'm also developing the new versions om the sites, but those are so far from done and the new server needs the update as soon as possible, so bodging the shit out of this one...

Oh god the amount of repetitive labor 😫☹😭

And I'm not getting paid, because I'm doing it for my scout group... Tho they pay some of the Pizza 😜

Code fuckup day or what?! After two weeks where I wasn't on my project and a co-worker handled it, I came back to my project and reviewed what he had done so far.
Me: "I don't understand how this new code part here can work?"
Him: "Uhm, actually, it doesn't, somehow."
Me: "..."
Then he had checked in his stuff with spaces while the whole project is with tabs. And variables that were used in a different way, but still under the old name, now completely misleading. Bypassing existing infrastructure and defines with "just for this case" hacks. But the best was tracking higher level state by peeking into lower level data buffers, even pulling out their data definitions into global header files - instead of using proper states in the higher layer itself.
NOT! IN! MY! FUCKING! PROJECT!!!
So I spent the day cleaning up the shit to fight off software rot right in the beginning.

Me after working on a complex UI given by the designer

Me: it’s done
Designer: the underline is off by 1px
Me: yeah , that how the css accommodates according to smaller screen , it’ll still look like the UI you gave on the bigger screen.
Designer : it hasn’t come out as expected , let’s change the UI and try something new here
ME (inside): YOU PEICE OF SHIT , you should have either spoken to me before designing the UI to know what could be done , or either be happy with the 1% different in the real UI and your “photoshop image”
Me(outside): as you say

Sooooo I am not a fanboy. I do have my reservations when it comes to technology and whatever, but I live and let live and normally don't shit on stuff as long as it does not affect me or has any reasonable opportunity to affect others.

But my lead developer does, highly opinionated dude for a lot of shit (he ain't really my lead dev anymore in the sense of him being over me, i actually got promoted to a different department but have to continue working with him) and as such we sometimes go on some huuuuge rants regarding tech. With me, shit is simple man, you tell me you like something and I'll dig it, even if i don't necessarily dig it....i am pretty chill like that...ya dig?

Well the other day he was talking about how tvs like mine were too small for him, mine is a 55 inch, i don't think its small, it doesn't inconvenience me in any way really. But to his royal blindness shit is small.

I mentioned that I watch most of my shit lying down on my ipad pro, to were he starts talking massive amounts of shit about apple.

Now, as a previously hired and annoyed mobile developer, ios has a special place in my heart in which my only complaint about the platform was how xcode would fuck up from time to time. The languages were glorious(Obj C and swift) the cocoa apis were amazing(between ios and mac desktop....oooh la la) and the care that the apple store takes in not letting every other add infested garbage app to play a part in their store, the gloriousness of having your data secured as well as havinf applications compiled into the actual fucking operating system REALLY TOUCHES HOME WITH ME. ITS COOL IF IT AIN'T YOU, I AM TALKING ABOUT ME.

Oh. And ipads are smooth as fuck. This was something that I had to mention when he said that anything that I could do with my 1000+ dllr ipad could be done with his samsung table. Normally, I would be like "cool man" but diz doode insisted on making an android vs ios argument.

He insisted on me trying on his tablet. Boy it was the jankiest, laggiest shit I had laid hands on.......just like any other underpowered Android device. Don't get me wrong, my s9 works fucking amazing, but why in the name of heavens would you make an argument against a tablet whilst simultaneously using a piece of shit that doesn't even work properly? Are people really that delusional in their arguments that they would really be that wrong while still insisting on being right?

Fuck. I'm fucking alive. The past month or so has been hectic. I've mainly been working, sleeping, or at school (not like I've showed up much lately anyways, maybe 12 days or so since the middle of February).

!dev

I'm fucking tired.

Bought an FX 8350 with the Wraith cooler for my desktop, got it for $70 when normally it's about $140 or so. Gonna replace the PSU and case when I get paid on Saturday, cause I don't have to pay anything with this check, so it's all to myself. Cut myself putting a heatsink back on my motherboard, still hurts 3 days later.

My "best friend" is still not talking to me. But she's been talking ABOUT me. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. I'm done with the whole situation with her. It's just her crying over every little thing.

My rants tend to be about my personal life, and this one is no exception. I just have a lot of shit going on and I need to get it out sometimes.

I'm so fed up of this shitty ultra-ortodox industry

I've worked on many different projects, been in many different teams. It's an ever changing industry, but, surprisingly, it's so orthodox. Dev industry nowadays have some rules, that everybody adopts them as "best practices". You have to work on pull requests, and several of your teammates have to review your shit (as if they have nothing better to do).
I'm sick of people using fucking DTOs in shitty frameworks like Laravel. Using DTOs in Laravel is like putting mustard in a fucking chocolate cake.
I'm so fed up of SPAs and node.js. I've yet so see a single SPA that handles jwt tokens correctly. I'm tired of spending hours and hours, days and days, struggling with thousandls of layers of abstractions instead of being productive and getting the shit done.
Because end customers don't give a shit about your "best practices": They have a problem and you are getting paid for it to be solved, not for spending hours and hours struggling with stupid Javascript and its crazy async nature and their crappy libraries.

Damnit. I say. Now. I now feel better. Thanks for listening :)

Please tell me something wrong with me, and whole world is working like that! It can't be right! Or could it, and I'm just one sad fuck who don't know shit?

So... We've got:
1. Jira reporting (agile style with cards and shit)
2. Task timers (via application integrated to Jira in order to count how much time we spent on a task)
3. End of the day email reporting with description of what we have done today (Jira is not enough?)
4. Daily morning meetings with a team leader to report what we're gonna do today
5. Git merge code reviews for each finished component (that lasts for hours)
6. Weekly status meetings
7. Working hours reporting with a fucking fingerprint

And on top of all of that, the developer is the one who just writes the code - team leader decides how this code is gonna look, what will be written first and what last, what libraries will be used and so on...

- Learning a lot of new shit because I don't want to get stuck. Remember, if you're the smartest person in a room/group, you're in the wrong group.
- Create a server and a client for a variation of MultiCube with up to 10 clients, with communication being done via UDP. Yes, I spend way too much time on my cubes.

Senior management just had a covid opening up party, streamed it on YouTube in the middle of the office with not a single person wearing a mask or social distancing. Encouraging employees to come back to working in the offices.

I AM FUCKING DONE. IM DONE.

It hasn't been a week since one of our employees died and these were the same people who emailed the team asking to donate towards the bereaved family.

This isn't even a rant. It baffles me that narcissistic bullshit like this is legal. How can anyone be that fucking stupid? Just how. Explain this shit to me. Because these aren't total assholes. They're generally nice people outside of work. Why is it that anything touched by corporate greed gets corrupted to the point of inhumanity.

Nope.

I haven't felt joy programming for a while now.

My work is just tasks that can be done by a monkey if they understand how the framework works and at home I can't come up with any ideas that are exciting, challenging or useful.

I feel like all my creativeness is leaking dry having to deal with deadlines about implementing this text change with critical^3 priority and other boring shit

On my project the customer has re-signed into a contract several times when they have budget to continue work. The first time they got us to build the system was a huge success story because the team was assembled quickly and we did rapid development. Initialize repo to prod in 1.5 months. The customer asked for the same dev team. Strong dev team, a PM that doesn't take shit, and pure agile. Lets call her don't-take-shit PM.

When the customer re-signed the executive decided that she didn't like don't-take-shit PM. So the project manager gets replaced by play-by-the-rules PM who will comply with stupid requests and micromanagement. He isn't a bad PM but he tries to make everyone happy. The amount of management types executive installs on the project is massive, and development team is cut down in major ways. Customer and executive shit rolls down to the development team and we can't get anything done. The customer starts to lose faith because we can't get traction. They start demanding traditional waterfall/SDLC docs. Which causes more delay in the project.

So the executive decides that the PM can take a fall for it to save face for the company. She moves play-by-the-rules PM to another project. He starts handover to a new PM that has a history of being her pushover. The customer hadn't seen him yet so now we have push-over PM.

Play-by-the-rules PM is finally out of the project and instead of moving to a different account the company decides to "lay him off because there is no work". So basically they made him take the fall for the failure while promising reassignment, and instead let him go. This is so unfair..

Meeting with push-over PM yesterday and he shows us his plan. Identical to play-by-the-rules PM's plan that got him axed.We point that out and show him the docs that were made for it. His face clearly communicates "OH SHIT WHAT DID I SIGN UP FOR?"

OMG, more changes requested by a client for their website. Co-worker is wondering why they're doing these requests and is asking my boss if the design confirmation process has been skipped.

I'm a junior developer, and this is my only experience so far. I don't know shit how to deal with these stuff. I just wanna focus on development right now. Have a proper team to guide me. Be in an environment where I can get strong technical learning. I don't know how to deal with all these politics yet.

I wanna walk out but I can't. I can't be selfish to my wife and let her be the only source of income, seeing as she even has it worse and wants to get out of her workplace too. I've done it before, can't let it happen again.

Sorry for the drama. I gotta vent out.

I’m done with people that derail meetings and discussions.

While I want to seek feedback for an Interface that I wrote, these attention seekers decide it’ll be the perfect opportunity to bring up the topic of “how functional programming paradigm facilitates better encapsulation”.

Everyone else follow suit. I try “time checking” and bringing the talk back on track. Never worked.

I’m concluding that meetings are shit and a COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME.

Dear Tailwindcss,

Fuck you.

Fuck you and your messy as fuck html files.

Fuck your shitty pseudo 90s 'Let's dump all our shit in a single html file'.

Fuck your claims of being responsive, most of your widths and heights are done in FUCKING PIXELS.

Fuck your claims of being flexible, adding a 10% width class took 20 minutes of scrolling through your shitty docs.

And the worst part is, the poor devs 4 years from now are gonna be stuck maintaining this goddamn shit because shitty enterprise companies desperately trying to stay relevant are treating this shit like the Holy God of Frontend styling, the solution to CSS once and for all

FUCKING IDIOTS CSS ISN'T BROKEN, THIS GARBAGE IS!!!! WE DON'T NEED A SHITTY SOLUTION TO A PROBLEM THAT DOESN'T EXIST

Tailwind can go fuck itself with it's 200 character html lines

Project in college, many moons ago.

Team is building a robot for a project. Nothing too crazy, it does some simple tasks like walk along a path and shit.

3 weeks for the project. 3 team members.

The largest graded part of the project is the ability to follow a path based on vision.

The 3rd member INSISTS on doing that part, he says “I want to prove to the professor that I am the smartest in the class so he helps me get a work term.”

Of course, my other partner and I see this as the complete selfishness of a child who will never be employed anywhere worth talking about anyways. He is a big asshole about it and we end up giving in.

## Week 1

We get our parts done (working together the way a team would) without his help.

He struggles, hits walls, complains. You know, dumbass grown child stuff...

## Week 2

We offer to help since we are done. He refuses. The teacher sees all of this and doesn’t like it at all.

After class the 2 of us go to the teacher and let him in on the details. The guy insisted, he is struggling and will not take help etc.

Teacher goes and talks to him and tells him it is a team project for a reason and that we should be helping. He says yes.

Then he misses the rest of the classes that week and send an email saying...

“Since everyone decided to keep interrupting me and breaking my train of thought, I could not get anything done in class. Therefore I will be staying home to finish the project from there.”

And to top it off, he didn’t even take home the robot’s connectors he needed to do the damn thing. Haha.

## Week 3

We know he wasn’t going to get it done, so we approached the teacher. We make it clear that we have done all we can and that we are not ok with losing marks because of this.

Since we are both good students that he likes, he decides to give us an option.

You can take a 50% on his part even if he doesn’t get it done (for trying to help) or we can do it ourselves and he won’t get the marks if he doesn’t finish.

## Night before

We say fuck it and do the thing.

In fact, since we were learning Java at the time we decided to do it in Java. Our other prof sees us playing with robots and gets excited, he stays with us and suggest improvements.

In the end we rewrite all 3 robot functionalities in Java and hand in the project the next day.

## The day of

Partner 3 comes into class and says this...

“That walking path part is impossible, I didn’t get it done, but I bet nobody else did either. So at least we will get a 60% on the other 2 parts!” (With a big shit eating grin)

Prof calls our group up. We walk up and the prof looks at the 3rd guy and says.

“Since you have decided to do your part alone, we will have you present your part alone at the end of the groups”

He tries to say something but the prof cuts him off and tells him to sit down.

We show all of our code and the robot does everything perfectly.

Groups go by, now it’s that guys turn.

He says that the walking part was impossible but seems to realize right away that he just saw EVERY other group get it working.

The teacher ask him to stay after class.

## Result

We got a 98 (prof said he was hoping we would have done in VB like asked but he liked the result a lot).

Other guy gets a 5% for his non-working spaghetti code on 0s on the other 2 sections. He blames us, of course.

Bonus Content:

That same asshat above once said this to me...

“I don’t indent my code so that if I work for a company and no one else can understand the code then I am unfireable!”

Yes, he wrote all code like this...

const Example = () => {
Stuff
More stuff
For() {
Stuff
If() {
Stuff
}
}
}

Fuck that guy🖕🏽

Fuck JavaScript, seriously I have spent the last 8 hours trying to build a fucking basic search application that would take me < 1 hour in any other fucking programming language on the planet. I AM FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT. I'd rather pay some dude with a long ass fucking beard who calls himself a "Frontend Engineer" WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS. Because my backend oriented brain cannot fucking handle all of the frameworks, and modules, and different versions of the same fucking language. Plus its like JavaScript was designed so that you can't not write spaghetti code. FUCK THIS. I'm going back to writing static fucking template code that is used by a fucking backend language that only changes every few fucking years, not every month.

Have a great day. :)

Ok Im done. I‘ll quit my job in the upcoming 6 weeks.
I have posted about it in the past. I cant imagine doing a job I hate for longer than absolutely necessary if you don’t have people depend on you.
My job is boring, my position redundant, my colleagues are pretentious and pricks, my boss doesn’t care about my work and I am miserable doing something completely meaningless for company I am sure will not survive the next 12 months.

I have floated out my resume to some companies yesterday evening. Do you guys have any recommendations where to look except the typical job platforms? I would like to either have a interesting position as a Fullstack developer gaining more experience with BE or it must be a job about something meaningful. I have already scanned the jobs on all NGOs but of course they don’t seem to need any software developers.

I am fucking done doing stuff that goes directly to the trash can just because some useless PM had a brain fart. My life is too short to do this shit anymore.

Fuck unreasonable deadlines. Just do your stuff as if you have the time of the world. Stop compromising the quality of your work and things are going to be done when they're done. Good quality stuff that's worth the wait.

I started to tell this to myself this week. For months now I took the bait that everything is urgent. And whatever crap management want has to be done yesterday. But.... Well... They pushed it too effing far.

Redo this module that took the former team about six months to finish. You have 10 days.

Well... What? Everyone is saying yes?... Everyone going full code monkey making no progress?

This is the moment I stop compromising and stop listening to your suggestions. I am going to do what I know how to do, the way I know it works, and I will not cut one corner based off your suggestions. I'm sorry, I've been dealing with this shit for too long already, and I don't want to suffer the consequences of degrading the quality of what I write anymore.

In a call with the big boss of the huge company I'm working for:

HER: Yeah, this MUST be in the next release or we better not even release

She's talking about a fucking carousel to let the user know its stuff has been merged, I get the point! It's important, but do you fucking realize that the user is currently NOT EVEN LOGGING IN?

HOW TF IS YOUR PROBLEM WHAT THEY SEE ONCE INSIDE THE PLATFORM IF THEY CAN'T EVEN LOG THE FUCK IN?

FUCKING BUSINESS BITCH JUST SAYING WHAT HAS TO BE DONE AND THEN PRENTEDING SHIT TO ACTUALLY WORK PROPERLY

A server application pulled off some sort of listings as table. Problem was, it crashed with some thousand data files after one and a half hours. I looked into that, and couldn't stop WTFing.

A stupid server side script fetched the data in XML (WTF!) and then inserted shit node-wise (WTF!!), which was O(n^2) - in PHP and on XML! Then it converted the whole shebang into HTML for browser display although users would finally copy/paste the result into Excel anyway.

The original developer even had written a note on the application page that pulling the data "could take long". Yeah because it's so fucking STUPID that Clippy is an Einstein in comparison, that's why!

So I pulled the raw data via batch file without XML wrapping and wrote a little C program for merging the dumped stuff client-side in O(n), spitting out a final CSV for Excel import.

Instead of fucking the server for 1.5 hours and then crashing, shit is done after 7 seconds, out of which the actual data processing takes 40 bloody milliseconds!

I'm getting really tired of those dumbass programmers that do not understand shit and then come to me when production breaks. (I am also a programmer, not really a DevOps engineer, but I'm the least worst at DevOps stuff, so it's my job...).

We're programming some kind of document management tool. Today we had a release, and one of the new features is to download all of your documents as a zip file, which is asynchronuously generated. When it's done, the user gets a mail with the download link to the zip file.

The feature works basically, but today it broke our production service, as somebody was running a test of it.

Turns out all the documents are loaded into memory to be zipped. So if you have 2 gigs of documents, a container with memory restrictions in that area will crash.

I asked the programmer who reported this «ops problem» to me, why he didn't just shit the files into a temp foler in order to zip them in there.

He told me that he wanted to do so, but did not know how to mock this for a unit test, and therefore went to the in-memory «solution», which was easier for him to mock.

For fuck's sake, unit tests and mocks are fucking tools, not ends in itself! I don't give a fuck about your pointless mocking code when the application crashes!

When I got to deal with such dumbasses, I'd prefer to mock those motherfuckers with a leaky bucket of liquid shit, which basically accomplishes the same task from my perspective: dripping shit all over the place and make everything suck as fuck.

Other programming languages and cleaning puppy shit.

Situation:
I'm coding in C# and take a coffee break, upon taking this break, I see something on devRant, Stack Overflow, or even just a random thought comes to mind.

Two hours later.
Written various snippets of code in JAVA, C++, PHP, JS - and have done nothing to do with my initial work.

In the above, I have cleaned puppy shit at least 10 times.

Fuck Homestead.

For the fortune of you not to know, Homestead is a sad attempt at a Wix-like build your own website platform.

However, Homestead is the most unusable piece of shit platform that humans have ever had the misery of interacting with

Lets start off with the login page. The login page is small, unresponsive and half the time just deletes your input whenever you press submit.

It's important to note that unless you're running MacOS or Windows, Homestead will send to an error page on which there's a link to contact support, but pressing that link requires MacOS or Windows.

Fine, I'll fiddle around with my user-agent, and we'll be in soon enough. But now we come to the joy that is the website editor itself.

The website editor is clunky, hard to use, and has enough menus and submenus and sidebars to make the Jira UI shake with fear. Each interface option label is either ridiculously ambiguous or just straight up wrong. The built-in HTML editor doesn't support HTML5, in the name of "browser compatibility".

CSS? Pah! Who needs it! Our psuedo-90s skeuomorphic ugly-as-shit prebuilt styles will work just fine. Responsive design? Bullshit! Nobody uses a smartphone to browse the web, so why do we need to handle it?

Uploading a file? Good fucking luck buddy. There's a complicated dance among the minefield of pop-ups that ask you to confirm some shit or modify some shit and you gotta click the right option each time or else the file won't upload.

Wanna use https like 86% of the entire web and all modern websites? That's a premium feature. Fork over an extra $10 a month

Ok ok, I made it through all that. Dig through the thousands of menus to find the 'publish changes' button, and sigh with relief.

Open up a private browser tab to check my work, and nope. The site looks like shit, even by Homestead's standards. That's because Homestead claims to be a WYSIWYG editor, but it's a damn lie. The site looks like shit, so it's time do dive back into the hellhole that is this damn site editor.

And rinse and repeat. Deal with the shitty editor, publish, and pray it doesn't look like garbage. Be too scared to test on other devices because this flaming pile of dog shit pretending to be a website is bad enough on my device.

Two more months, then I'm done with this client. Someone get me a drink

Today may be the day I walk the fuck out... Almost done with the 3rd revisions of the fucking website and guess what?

To - “Anony”
Subject - website

Hey, here’s a list of changes we’d like for the website. Instead of following the theme of “WhateverTheFucksHopsital.html” we’d like for it to look similar to “AnotherFucksWebsite.html”. The board would like to see this up and running in the next week.

How’s about you sit and spin. You haven’t given me any information on a website only that you want it to look like some other hospitals. Then, you add photographer to my fucking job description as well as information hunter. You can fuck yourself and higher an outside company to create your website from scratch again for the now 4th fucking time. Then, you’ll understand and see just how fucking expensive it is... Nor will that company take your shit with the lack of information coming from your end. You can kindly, suck my dick.

Does your team also tend to get stuck in the MVP Trap?

You ship a barebones version of a feature. Zero polish. That’ll be done later if it’s successful.

When the stats roll in it seems the feature got a lukewarm reception. A few users liked it, but it wasn’t a hit.

Next sprint starts and everyone asks if we should spend more time on it

The PM argues ”Why would we spend time polishing something no one uses?”

The designer argues ”Well of course no one used it, it looks like shit, we gotta spend some time polishing it!”

It becomes a chicken or the egg scenario.

Your product ends up with a bunch of half assed features. not bad enough to remove, not good enough to spend more time on.

That's it, I'm done. I'm SO. FUCKING. DONE. Whoever created such a badly monkey ass coded shit and named it "Drupal" should have been aborted with a fucking hanger.

No one was here today because they were all at a Drupal Con that I never heard of. Glad I didn't. So they told me "yeah there are one year bug to fix, if you could do them all in a one work day that'd be greaaaaat". FUCK. YOU.

This shit is slowly sucking my passion away, and while I could spend 15 hours to code per day a few months ago, now I'm stuck to debugging shit that should have work without a Drupal environment. Tomorrow I'm going to see my manager and tell him to get me the fuck out of this and make me do something that would make me enjoy living again. I can't believe I'm getting trouble for this kind of low shit stuff, really.

And it started to rain. Fuck.

Being kept up for the entire night.
You ask yourself what is keeping you awake, after all you need to meet with a client about presenting what they ordered from you.
Did you debug it? Yes.
Did you back it up incase something happens? Yes.
Did you get it done in the correct time period? Yes.
Did you export it in the format they had requested? Shit.

That’s it I’m done with writing documents like Software Product Specifications and Software Requirements Documents and Software Architecture Documents, manuals, data sheets and more in MS word..

I’m doing it all form this point forward in LaTeX... I can stay in my editor, it works beautifully with version control because it’s just text... I can split it amung multiple files.. it looks damn sexy. I can focus on the content rather than being distracted by formatting and spelling issues and the rest of that shit.. ALSO.. it doesn’t crash or get corrupted.. well at-least I’ve never had a text editor crash or corrupt my files.

Idk why I didn’t learn latex sooner and do the switch.

The past few days ive been looking into angular.

Its a bloated piece of crap. It makes your page twice the fucking size and adds tons of unneccessary code with shit syntax. Whatever you do in angular can be done in a normal language, even fucking vanilla javascript. Stop fucking making unneccessary frameworks for js developers who are too lazy to learn a proper language.

As I am working with WordPress for the really first time I am making horrible experiences now.

My client wants a simple submenu on the sidebar if the user is logged in else he want the login form to be there. Easy peezy done with php and just good old plain html. Maybe some JavaScript to make the login process asynchronous.
But fucking bitch - NO. As I found out after searching and digging. I have to create a menu in wp-admin first. Then add a menu-widget to the sidebar. And then install a plug-in to make the links only visible for logged in user. Wtf?

WordPress takes all the joy in doing web development for me. I won't do that anymore. I will force all new clients to use proper tools to make their shit work for them. And as I am the expert in this things I am the one who suggests the right tool.

Fuck this shit.

Starting to feel like shit about my new job. Every task my boss gives me I return with a "sorry it can't be done" for one reason or another. At first it was because user interface testing is a nightmare, then it was because the API postman tests he wanted is for endpoints we haven't exposed so it can't be done and the automated login on postman and retrieval of cookie information can't be done through postman because it requires rendering the site in a browser. I feel worthless to the company but I also feel he keeps making up tasks for me without checking if they're actually useful to us or even possible first, rather than let me touch any of the real code.. I don't know if I should just quit tbh.

So fucking tired of priority shifting. How the hell is anyone supposed to get shit done with 500 fucking meetings and between each one you're told do something different?

This is critical you must do it now! No this!

My response, fuck you I'm going home my head hurts let me know what you'd like me to code and when you've decided add a day for annoying me.

Well today I feel like shit so I called in sick. Found out the lead developer called in sick as well.

The thing is, there was something really important to be done today that he fucking new that if he was not to be there I was going to get shit from everyone. He is going through some shit right now and I get it, so I would normally cut him some slack.

But fuck man, at some point you got to man the fuck up and deal with your job, if anything do it for your fucking coworkers/friends. He fucking new that I was going to get a fuckload of bullshit over something that he takes care of.

Nevermind that there are only 2 fucking developers for the entire fucking campus(2 campuses actually) and we were told last friday that we were needed. Normally, one would put up with the bullshit and make a presence, but that one of us is always me. Today I said fuck it, its too cold, don't feel good and I don't want to take my daughter to the daycare.

Today I sit at home, go over my OS books, play Skyward Sword with my daughter, watch movies with her and I don't think about work for one second.

On another note, the reason why I need to go through my OS books is that a good portion of my masters degree(which I am to start on August) covers OS development, it seems that the entire curriculum will be C/C++ galore which makes me FUCKING STOKED! finally a break form web development that I can probably use to get me out of web development professionally as well.

Need to rant. I am doing programming 2 at university with java and the assessment is to make a card game. The subject is shit and is basically going over loops, variables, conditionals ect which we learned in introduction to programming and programming 1.

This leaves little time for oop principles, design patterns inherentance and all other useful stuff.

I am dedicated to making a career in programming and want to do my assessment the correct oop way. Although the lecturer doesn't care and is instructing the class to do it procedurally and shit.

I could do the program really quickly the shit procedural way and still get full marks but I feel dirty as hell coding like a scrub. So I'm 60 hours in on this assessment and there are so many classes and even more because of unit testing (we don't have to unit test) and I am spending way too much time.

My code is beautiful, my classes are tiny and maintainable, easy to modify and I'm learning so much about how to code oop the correct way with the help of a mentor and someone I look up to. But god does it take forever to code this way. And soo many iterations and redesigns because I'm still learning.

It's almost done but now I have another programming assessment for another class I'll have to do the dirty way because of time restraints and other assessments.

Sorry for wall of text but this is stressing me out 😛

Importing modules in python is the biggest shit i have done in my life. ALWAYS SOMETHING IS NOT FOUND. I have no fuckin clue who came up with this shit. I fuckin hate python for that so so much
EASY LANGUAGE GO TO HELL

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarfffffffddddd

Motherfucking shitty depression kicks me around like a fucking wet teabag.

Shit doesn't get done

Motherfuckers are annoying me

And this constant whining....

Why can't we have new hardware....

Because it's fucking 'rona and you had a motherfucking frigging shitty ticket to clean the shit up so we don't need frigging fucking new hardware that takes ages to delivered

Now I have to give a seminar thx to some special guys showing up stoned on work law....

... Getting chewed out by management and tons of laughter was exactly the extra care package I needed… thx for the nice reminder that you are all shitbags.

I love my job and the team mates close me.

But the rest of the people seemingly nuked their brain and are really grinding their teeth down my emotional barriers.

Why is everyone seemingly obsessed with stupidity since Corona began...

<deep breath>

2 more days.

Remember, just 2 more days.

Weekend is near...

TLDR I messed up my partitions!

I had on old netbook with Windows on it, it was getting painfully slow. So I thought, why not try dual boot?

Since I had never installed a GNU/Linux OS before, I messed up the partition. Like, really, really badly.

Somehow, i accidentally created like a 100 1kb partitions. Windows wouldn't boot, no other OS was present. Shit had started to hit the fan.

Turns out there was this easeUS partition manager, that you could make a bootable USB with it. So I did that, deleted all partitions, created new one, installed Linux Mint on it. I've done a lot of other shit like this, but this rant is getting too damn long.

After struggling with js for a while, bless the ocaml ecosystem and community, now i actually get shit done instead of fighting with npm.

Submitted a ticket to the 3rd party IT provider today. Just like they always do they close the ticket instantly saying they did the work when they didn’t do anything.

Except this time they went one step further. They documented that they had a conversation with me and that they convinced me that I didn’t need the work done.

No such conversation occurred. I have not changed my mind nor have been given any reason to. They just want their ticket times to appear as fast as possible and are willing to lie through their teeth to achieve that.

Prepare for a shit storm motherfuckers.

had to create a rather large CLI based application in Java as a graduate level assignment.

Doing shit like this makes me appreciate Node/Python/literally fucking anything else much more for this shit in which storing and retrieving JSON does not have to be that much of a fucking hassle WITHOUT using external libraries(they want it all made by hand)

I love Java, don't get me wrong, but I would rather use it for only a couple of things. I stopped working as a Mobile dev precisely because of Android being shit for Java. No, Kotlin does not fix it, its not the language that is my problem, its the fucking general architecture of the Android API that pisses me off.
And no, I do not care if you like it, like 1 fucking bit. I am not saying that the architecture is shit, I am saying that I did not like it.

Sigh.......oh well. Almost done with the assignment, but still.

i was hired to join a team of old devs (40+) in an unnamed European country "yay goodbye 3rd world it's time to enjoy the quality of life" assist with enhancing already existing software and creating new solutions.
prior to my arrival most things were slow and super buggy, looking at the code base it shouldn't be a surprise, amateur hour everyone, logic implemented that is not needed, comment driven development, last time code review was done back in 1996. lots of anti patterns.
i swear there is a for loop that does nothing but it loops through a 100+ elements list, trunk based development with tfs since git is "not really needed"
test projects are not there.
>enter me an educated fool, with genuine passion for the craft and somehow a decent amount of knowledge.
>spent the last year fixing stuff educating people on principles and qualities.
> countless hours of training and explaining. team is showing cooperation, a new requirement comes in to develop with react.
> tear my ass creating reusable shit and self explanatory code with proper naming etc using git with feature branching, monday is first deployment day.
> today a colleague was working on an item submit a pull request and self approve it
> look at the code..... WTF the dumb fuck copied and pasted the whole code from different kendo components but somehow managed to refractor the name to test component, commented out all the code that he didn't use did the api call directly from the component, has 2 useeffects that depends on the a fucking text box changes for no reason, no redux implementation, the acceptance criteria is not achieved, and it doesn't work it just look right.
> first world country shit cannot scold, cannot complain, lead by example.
>asked him why you did this, the response was yeah probably i shouldn't have done that, i really didn't understand anything in the training but didn't want to waste time!!!!
> rest of the team created a different styled disaster with different flavors they don't even name their shit the same way.

fellow developers I'm stuck in a spaceship with a bunch of imposters, seriously i never cried in my entire life now I'm teary and on the verge of a break down.
talk with management "improving needs time" and offers me to join a yoga session to release the stress as if reaching nirvana would deliver shit on monday.
i really don't know what do is this a rant, is this a cry for help, I'm not sure, any advice is welcomed.

Stupid fucking idiot startup asshole hired me as an intern. Promised me the money after the work is done. We were friendly during the internship. The work is done and now it's been a week and still no money yet. He's saying it'll take some time. To beat you to shit it'll take some time you asshole!

Lesson learned: Never ever be friendly with the guy who hires you. Like never!!

Also money later isn't a good thing.

More like a colleague more than a client, but it doesn't really matter.. They're the same shit,aren't they?

Dude, when you ask for something on Sunday, and spend the day plus Monday and Tuesday not returning my calls or emails... You can go fuck yourself with a huge unicorn's dick. I already moved on to more important shit to do and now you're going to wait until I'm fucking done.

Fucking assholes.

!rant

Wish me luck. I am done with the spaghetti mess.

There is a stock management system written using laravel and jQuery. There are mistakes in database structure. There are lots of I-dont-know-what-this-function-do-so-i-should-leave-it-alone codes. There are lots of repeated and duplicated functions.

Gonna start things from scratch and will also start using vue. This week's Thursday and Friday are public holidays here. I hope I can code my ass off and finish the migration/refactoring/cleaning shit by Sunday.

Fuck this shitty C ecosystem! Multible compilers, one standard complying, one hacked toghether? Only one GPL poisoned standart library, with no real chance of switching it, which prevents me of making staticly linked programs? And then there is microsofts compiler, with fucking ANSI support. Thanks. No dependency handling. Concurrency? pthreads. Are you fucking kidding. JSON? Have fun finding something static. Compile times where you can read entire books. Segfaults without one helpful info, so you have to debug with prints. And every library, every tool, installer, compiler, stdlib, anything is poisoned by GPL. But hey, its fast. And efficient. After you spend many slow and inefficient months developing something. I am so done with this shit.
Well.

Tommorow i will continue working with C on my backup project.

Did i mention that the stdlib has no features? Not even threading? Which is IN THE STANDARD?

We are all working our asses off, but the backlog grows and grows.
Now management came up with a really creative, groundbreaking and clever idea: We should work more, so we can get shit done.

I think there may be some jobs vacant in the near future.

We are 2 people working as remote android devs for this startup in another country. 6 weeks ago a new person joined onsite to work directly in startup HQ. I'l refer to him as an newguy.

Last week we started new sprint (of 2 weeks) to work on a new feature.

Newguy was responsible for gathering all the specs and planning, so this is how our sprint is going so far:

Day 1:

We have 10+ tickets in jira (tickets have only titles) no one knows what to do and we don't even have specification. I started pushing everybody onsite to get their shit together. We NEED UX/UI specs, we NEED backend to be ready, or at least start working paralelly so that once wer'e done with frontend backend would be ready. I mean cmon guys this feature is already 70% done on iOS, why cant you send us the specification?

Day 2:

We had a meeting on Zoom and talked about missing specification and project manager promised to send us the specs. Meanwhile the idea of feature became clearer so I agreed with the newguy to start researching about best way to implement our solution.

Day 3:

We received the specifications. I provided my research for the feature to the newguy. Turns out the he knew about specification 4-5 days before.

Instead of sharing information with us, he decided to create his own library to do what we want to do and blatantly rejected my research input.

Now he showed his implementaton (which is shit by the way) and presents it as the only way to proceed forward. He offers for us to work paralelly with him on this (basically he wants to write library alone, and we are supposed to somehow implement and test it, but how the fuck we can implement if backend is not ready and library is just a bunch of empty interfaces at this point?)

I talked with one of the teamleads in the startup and told him that this is not the way things were being done here before and new guy is becoming a dictator.

Teamlead talked with new guy and found no issue. Basically newguy defended his sole decision by saying that he did research on his own, there are no libraries that do what we want and he knows better.

Teamlead tells me to STFU because new guy seems competent and he will be leading this feature. Basically from what I gathered teamlead doesn't give a single fuck and wants to delegate all project management to this new guy.

Day 5:

End of the week. New guy claims that his lib is done so we can start implementing properly. I tried implementing his lib but its fucked up and backend is still not ready.

Day 6:

Backend is still not ready, no one is doing anything just waiting for it to be ready.

Day 7 (Today):

Today(Backend is still not ready, no one is doing anything just waiting for it to be ready.

So what can I say? His plan was to probably prove his self worth and try to lead this feature by giving us information at last minute. At the point were we should start implementing instead of researching.

What happened? Motherfucker doesn't know shit about backend, has been notified about backend issues multiple times but his head was so deep up his ass with that new library of his that he delayed the rest of the team.

Result? 7 working days wasted. Out of 3 developers only 1 was actually working (and his fucked up code will have to be rewritten anyways). Only 50% of feature done. Motherfucker tells me that this is how we will work in the future, "paralelly". The fuck is this mate? If you would have worked on this feature alone you would have done it already now, but instead you wait until we remote devs will login and fetch you the test input and talk with backend guys for you? The fuck is wrong with you.

You fucking piece of shit, learn to plan and organize better if you want to lead the team. Now all that you are doing is wasting time, money and getting on everyboys nerves. Im tired of fucking spoon feeding you every day you needy scheming office politics playing piece of shit. Go back to your shithole country and let us work.

When I was responsible for sprint planning I figured out what to do before start of the sprint and remote devs were able to do week's work in 1-2 days and have rest of the week off. This is how it's supposed to be when you work with a remote team. Delegate them separate features, give them proper specs ahead and everyone's happy. Don't start working on frontend if you dont even fucking know when backend will be ready. It's fucking common sense.

Now I need to spoon feed this motherfucker who can't even get information while sitting on his ass onsite in HQ. Fucking hell.

I fucked up.

I shared information that should have never been said with my wife.

Now she knows and she won't leave it alone.

It's changed her perception of me, clearly, and she's made several comments that have bothered me for a couple reasons.

In either case, the damage is done and there's nothing I can do to stop this shit train from rolling me over.

My wifi card has been in the bugs section of almost every major Linux distro for the past 4 years since an update. Tried almost every solution i could find. nothing helped. couldn't use it with it's unstable speed and disconnections. So much for open source and GNU/shit and fix it yourself crap. Do you really expect me to learn to write a wifi driver? I'm done with Linux. Installed Windows and everything was fine. open source software may be good but not the best. Much better to use proprietary software than to waste time trying solutions from the seventh page of google search results.

Fucking fuck fuck fuck outdated superiors that know jack shit about how software development works. Dnt even know about git, docker, cloud services. Everything is done on premise with network that is fucking crap and when an app is down "hey why is it down?" ask the fucking server and network admin how the fuck am i supossed to know? i have to create workaround codes when other devs just need to deploy their app and its fucking running as it should be. why the fuck do i need to spend my time debugging Ping timeouts? im a fucking dev. I have done designs, analyze requirements, build frontend, backend, optimize codes, paying attention to security and now i have to fix network problems as well? fuck off

Create Innovation my fucking arse. you just Keep saying that but then wondering "what is this new thing youre trying? its new and different why do that?" because you asked for innovation you fuck. If i copied some other concept its not innovation is it pricks.

Fuck them and all the brown nosers as well.

one of my guys decided to start learning c++ for the fun and fuck of it. We do not use c++ for shit (we web developers in this bitch) and he asked me if in the event of him getting completely fucking stuck he could come to me for guidance, I said sure. I do use c++ for personal game projects....it is mostly very bad C until I need c++, it is horrible seriously, I ain't no expert.

He decides to go with the LLVM. Creates a simple hello world app. Runs clang++ main.cpp -o main.

**QUICK PAUSE**

Done, the CLI returns the prompt back to him. He comes and asks me wtf is going on. I check on my machine(Linux based) and do the exact same thing. Executable comes out.

I check back on his windows machine, try typing the same shit. Nada. It does not throw errors or warnings, and the syntax is fucking fine, can't really fuck up c-outing hello fucking world. FUCKING NADA

I couldn't sit down to troubleshoot since it was still working hours, but this shit is haunting me and I am going ballsack crazy knowing that I won't be able to jump at it until tomorrow.

This just makes me dislike c++, i usually never have issues like that, but then again, I use the microsoft compiler (bitch at me all you want, most game developer tutorials etc use that shit, so does the Cherno, its all i know OK????)

I am going to go crazy sdjkfhasdkjlfghlajkhrfvluidefjbhfksjadhjksdsdsjksdjkl

Started a contract about 7 weeks ago now and initially it was great. The boss man was out of the office the majority of the time so I was able to get shit done.

Now the boss man is in the office all the time and I can't have a technical conversation with another dev without him jumping in to explain why we are wrong.

He has no technical experience to speak of and so I now have to explain every technical decision to someone who thinks you can put php code into javascript.

Maybe this is rubber fuck debugging?

Now I just keep telling myself "it's only 4 more months..."

Situation:

Php not loading oci8 connector for oracle database in windows server, got the all famous and feated oci_connect unknown function error.

Solution:
Check to make sure that the stupid dll is in the extensions folder ---> check

Check to make sure that the extension_dir path is done properly inside php.ini ---> check

Ensure that extension=php_oci8_11g.dll is inside php.ini ---> check

I have no fucking clue why this piece of shit would stop working all out of the sudden and would not fucking work. But here i am yet AGAIN trying to fix something for the fucking web tech department because their fucking lead dev is out.

I
Fucking
HATE

Having to deal with php configurations. Such a fucking pain in the fucking ass man.

FUUUUCKING WOOOOOORK

Guess what guys, I'm installing Ubuntu over Arch, because I need change and I just don't give a shit about distro elitism. Like many others, I got my start on Ubuntu (was probably Hardy Heron), and then I have done some hoppin' ever since. I never wanted to go back to plain Ubuntu because you know.., but fuck that, its perfect for what I need on my shitty laptop which I do nothing more than watch shitty livestreams on.

I also need something which looks vaguely caught up to 2019 GUI standards while expending max 13 kcal in the process (already spent a fair share with KDE). The 13 is for deleting the Amazon shortcut.

I have noticed that C/C++ developers that deal with backend server technologies are very much likely to resort to PHP for some reason. I have noticed it from serveral developer friends of mine or simply by noticing how the topic comes along sometimes on web discussion forums.

I believe this is the reason why certain extension codebases that deal with php are(for the most part) exclusively done in C++, take Phalcon, written as an extension in C or PHP Swoole, which is written in cpp iirc.

I wonder what attributes does the language, or the tech stack as a whole has that would make this particular kind of developers feel attracted to the platform. Is it that is easy and widely available and they just say "fuck it, I don't wanna spend too much time in this shit" <--- which is a very valid point really.

Or them just having an innate preference towards it?

The Psychology Behind Developers: By Dr AleCx04

!devrant

Dear discord.

Instead of having a login button that takes me to "claim your account", how about you let me actually fucking LOGIN with my motherfucking account I already signed up with?

This is like basic-bitch UX feedback.

How the fuck did you fucking incompetents fuck up this bad?

God damn if I ain't done with bad fucking UX.

It's 2020. Could you motherfuckers idk, do your actual fucking jobs? Or are you all busy over at discord home office looking at cat memes and fisting each others prolapsed cunts like a bunch of fucking jackasses?

Jesus fucking christ it's like I woke up in fucking clown world, where every company thats successful is run by people more incompetent than me. Fix your fucking shit discord.

How do you guys deal with work that doesnt really care about what you do?
I mean everyday i come to work i make my own schedule and think of things to do, then do them and at the end of the day noone really cares.

I’ve created a huge inhouse analysis tool and that was my job for a long while untill the project was mostly done. Now it feels like i just go to work to sit there for the hours and collect the paycheck, i watch youtube for half of the day and noone cares. Noone really knows what i do there. I feel like shit because i need to fight with myself everyday that i didnt finish something, but noone besides me really even knows of what i do though. I work alone and I think thats a big part of it. What should I do?

When you realize that all those years using windows washed away all your knowledge about using Linux.
I feel like a dumb idiot now while struggling to get shit done on my newly installed mint distro. Younger, I used to read that very fat book my father had on his desk, with all the basics on Linux, I don't have it around anymore.
Any "up to date" good book or website of reference to refresh that rusty brain of mine?

What the absolute fuck is this!
Fucking bash needs to get its shit together with its fucking strings.
I don't fucking know why str1 + var2 = var2tr1
Like who designed this fucking bullshit!

I've spent the past 8 hours today counting all my ' and " and making sure everything is getting passed correctly.

And how do you even google this shit anyways!

And why the fuck is the official suggestion from the bash FAQ to load everything into an array and to call it with "${ARRAY[@]}"

WHO THE FUCK DECIDED THAT WAS READABLE!!

AUGH!!!

In case anyone was wondering. It didn't work anyways.

I think I'm done for today... I can't anymore...

for anyone wondering. This is bash getting executed by nodejs with execSync()
and those tokens are temporary and only exist on my dev machine. Sorry for getting your hopes up.

I'm so done with my ISP. ITS THE FOURTH TIME THIS WEEK MY FUCKING INTERNET RANDOMLY DISAPPEARS BETWEEN 21:30 AND 22:00. AND ITS THE FOURTH DAY OF THE WEEK!!!! I GO TO FUCKING SCHOOL AT 6AM AND COME BACK AT 8 TO 9 MOST DAYS. OH BUT GUESS WHAT? NORMAL PEOPLE WOULD BE ABLE TO PLAY GAMES AT THIS TIME, CHAT WITH FRIENDS ON TEAMSPEAK OR JUST WATCH FUCKING SERIES. BUT ME?? NO, DO SHIT THE WHOLE DAY JUST TO GET HOME AND GET DISAPPOINTED AGAIN.

ME - me, TM - teammate
I was just recruited to the company. We're starting new project based on few modules.

ME: So this module will do X and Y, I will use good old interfaces and design based on abstractions so that stuff does not get glued too much.

TM: But why? Make good old processor with all the logic and throw objects at it.

ME: B-but unit tests, decomposition and othet stuff...

TM: *insists and forces me to agree*

ME: *gets shit done his way, TM checks on code review and complains but generally doesnt give a fuck*

ME: Ok, its done. Lets get shit shipped.

TM: Well, we were just told by PM that we will need to process one more source with much different logic that does not fit current solution (he did meant GOD-PROCESSOR, idea of his).

ME: What do you mean? *injects another contextual implementation of processing logic to template method pattern solution*.

TM: I will tell PM you cant make it because of the implementation.

ME: But I just did it...

TM: Impossible, processor needs to be reimplemented. Get your shit together!

ME: *still doesnt get the shit about the god processor love*

TM: *rage quits next month*

ME: *module gets reused once more 2 month later, profit*

Windows Updates...

I know, this topic is as old as the human race, but still.

Yesterday Windows kept whining about updates. When I went to bed I allowed windows to finally do it's updates. Now I'm back from work and the machine isn't running anymore. I thought, OK, it won't annoy me this evening.

But I overlooked the one essential thing about windows updates.

IT WILL DO THE MAIN WORK WHEN IT BOOTS THE NEXT TIME!

When I explicitly tell you to do the updates, you will barely do anything but turning off! And the next time I'm trying to use you, you will do a shit ton of things and lock me out while doing so.

When it says that it'll update, shouldn't it install and reboot until it's done? Am I the one who's crazy?

Instead of "working" with the computer, I'm stuck with this shit.