I used to work with a guy who had 2 PH.Ds, in Computer Science and Electrical Engineering and over 600 patents but I kid you not the guy could not use the coffee machine. Now it's not like this coffee machine was as easy as a Keurig, it was some $20,000 espresso machine that took a while to figure out but I tried teaching him how to use it a few dozen times and still he couldn't get it right. It got to the point where I thought he was faking it so that others would make it for him so I offered him $500 if he could figure it out. Still nope. So for the remaining 2 years we worked together I made him coffee whenever he wanted, 2-4 times a day, and he bought me lunch everyday. Before I left the company I bought him a Keurig so that when I left he'd still have coffee.

So I learned something today. Always disable guest sessions in your Linux machine in a work environment.

Walked away from my pc to talk to a fellow Linux engineer.

Came back to a screen with pornhub and porn playing.

"wait how the hell? I locked my pc...?!?"

"ever heard of guest sessions mate? 😆"

😓

*silently disables guest sessions*

Well okay learned that one the hard way 😅

QA: There is a bug in your program, it doesn't work !

DEV: What? It is working on my machine, let me show you *opens app*

QA: Well, then I will tell our clients to use your machine every time they want the app

DEV: ...

There should be a communist programming language.

- There are no classes.
- There is no inheritance.
- All code is executed simultaneously, since it's equal.
- All variables are global, since everything belongs to everyone
- There are no private functions
- Every function must have side effects, for the 'greater good'
- As soon as it is written, you no longer own the code
- Instead the code owns you
- And your machine

I slowly get why this thing didn't work out on society either.

User: "Hey, can you help me? My program doesn't work."
Consultant: "What is the problem? Are you using Turbo Pascal?"
User: "Yes, the program just blocks the machine."
Consultant: "Well, does it compile?"
User: "I don't know -- it just doesn't run. You see? There's the EXE file. If you run it, it blocks the machine."
Consultant: "And where is your source, the PAS file??"
User: "I wrote it and renamed it to EXE so it could run."

Start my new job next week, and just got an email from them asking if I prefer Windows 7 or Ubuntu for my work machine!

I think I'll like it there

*Stages of debugging*
1. That can't happen.
2. That doesn't happen on my machine
3. That shouldn't happen.
4. Why does that happen?
5. Oh, I see.
6. How did that ever work?

Six stages of debugging:

1. That can't happen?
2. That doesn't happen on my machine?
3. That shouldn't happen?
4. Why does that happen?
5. OH, I SEE!
6. How did that ever work?

Client: I need this *insert app/machine/thing* ASAP! No excuses!

*work overtime just to get it done*

*after 2 weeks of finishing it*

Me: So has the thing worked without issues?
Client: Oh, I haven’t even used it yet!

:/

Our coffee machine at work is broken. We're a fucking high tech company delivering unique solutions with millions of requests every second of the day to over 60 countries, how can we not have a working fucking COFFEE MACHINE in the kitchen? How are we suppose to keep the lights on if we can't get our daily coffee god damnit?! It's been broken for over a week.

Sure, I'll just walk to the floor upstairs to get coffee LIKE THEY DID IN THE EIGHTEEN HUNDREDS. Maybe I should just come in to work on a horse with armor stabbing some funny looking fucker because it seems like we're living in the GOD DAMN EIGHTEEN HUNDREDS and that was a totally legit action back then. Get your shit together, call the company providing the coffee machine service and just have them fix it. How hard can it be??

I don't know why everyone seems to think Chrome uses too much memory... My work machine has 32 GB of RAM and it runs fine with Chrome only consuming half of that. I'm thinking of upgrading to 128 GB and then I'll be able to run Chrome AND Atom at the same time!

Life with Windows 10:

An absolute nightmare. My oven doesn't work, Washing machine started rattling, toaster toasted more than it was supposed to toast. Every time windows updates it restarts my TV in my living room.

Then I met my neighbour. He lives a very happy life. I always wanted to know his secret ingredients.

One day I invited him to my house and he saw my Windows machine. He immediately insisted that I install Linux so that I can be happy and cool like him.

And that's the day my life changed. My oven started to bake beautifully, my washing machine was spinning at full speed.

Linux changed my life. I'm now part of the cool kids. Everyone loves me, embraces me.

Is your life hard? Are you not being noticed by other cool boys/girls? Are you having pain in your back? Remember:

Whatever bad happens, it's Windows 10's fault.

In the school we were using slow PCs for learning MS Office things. Every single step we did took ages. There were one guy who was an informatics antitalent: he never were able to work fluently with any electric machine from a microwave to anything smarter. In addition he was a semi-pro athlete and he had some kind of anger management issues, sometimes yelled to the teacher after a bad mark or with us when we lost a in-school soccer match. You know, he was that competitive guy.
One time on computer science class he was very focused. He tried to follow every steps precisly and his machine seemed faster than as usual. He felt like he broke some kind of wall which was between he and the machine.
When we had a break and he went out we tought that we should make a prank. We made a fullscreen screenshot from the desktop and set it as the wallpaper, then killed explorer.exe. As a result the icons and the start menu was only on the screen by the wallpaper.
When he came back he said that there were some bad news from some of the sport event he wanted to go, so he was angry. But then... You know the gif when the guy first hit the side of the screen multiple times then throws out the machine? Yeah, we saw that in real life, but not in that office. First he was just clicking everywhere, we just watched how his face just transforming. Then he started to talk just in himself as the machine could understand. After two minutes he just yelled to the machine why did it freeze, but the last drop was when the teacher said: You'll have to send me your work and it will be marked. In this moment he was just roard a huge and droped the CRT out of the window from the second floor. Luckily the window was facing to a brushy part of the garden so no one was there. He just standed there, looked out to the CRT sitting in a brush for a while, then he turned to the teacher as "Mr, I think something is wrong with my machine"

The six stages of debugging:
* That can’t happen.
* That doesn’t happen on my machine.
* That shouldn’t happen.
* Why does that happen?
* Oh, I see.
* How did that ever work?

OK morning rant from yesterday.

Get into the venue, connect my surface to the dock, keyboard won't work.
Try more USB ports, try another machine, keyboard (corsair k70) is totally broken.

Ugh.
Fine.

Disassemble keyboard, someone asks me a question, turn around and knock full coffee cup over my surface book.

Fuck sake.
Now I need a new laptop.

I still remember one of my lecturer asking whole class to install Linux because ,she thinks PHP does not work on windows machine 😂😂

*Doing a Peer Code Review of someone senior to me*

Me: This fix doesn't look like it will work, but maybe I don't understand. How does this fix the defect?

Senior Dev: *Blinks* It works on my machine

Me: But how does it work?

Senior Dev: It works when I run it on my machine...

Me: Do you know if this will fix the issue?

*Silence*

Never seen QA punt an issue back to development so fast.

I'll be buying a second hand Surface tomorrow.

Will put Linux onto it right away, found good instructions on doing that including making the touchscreen work.

If that doesn't work, I'll sell the fucker again because I'm not running windows. I'm just not. That malware can go fuck itself.

Looking forward to transferring that windows machine to a Linux one!

Got fired.
Fuck
3 days on the job...
Told on the interview I didn't know the machine OS but I could learn in a few days...
Well they want someone with experience on that machines I don't know...

It's like asking a Javascript programmer to work with Java...

Whatever...
There are more companies

Very funny/random/weird partly non-dev related story that happened today.

We're selling our coffee machine at work since the coffee is gross.

Someone wants to buy it and wants it to be sent.

Coworker: just the general way through a package?
Other coworker: hmm yeah through post is fine
Me: POSTAL PIDGIN
other colleague: BY PENGUIN
Another colleague: BY LIKE 100 PENGUINS FLYING THAT THING THROUGH THE AIR WITH LIKE WIRES ATTACHED TO IT
Me: just hold on for a second and imagine this graphically...
Colleagues: damn that would be fucking genius xD

Yeah we're quite random 😆

So yesterday one of the "senior" python developers woke me up at 1 am (we work in different time zones, and he knows how many hours I'm ahead) asking why isn't his code working. The error message was:

[ERROR] Runtime.ImportModuleError: Unable to import module 'app': xxx is not installed, run `pip install xxx` Traceback (most recent call last)

I am at lose of words and patience. Not only idiots who can't google simple stuff are seniors, additionaly we went from "DevOps is a culture" straight to "hey I'm developer in my silo, if it doesn't work on my machine it's DevOps problem, plz fix".

These mother fuckers know when I'm packed up and ready to go to work and decide that's the perfect fucking time to call me. WHY COULDN'T YOU CALL WHILE I WAS STILL LOGGED IN AND DIDN'T HAVE TO LOG THE FUCK BACK IN, WAIT 90 YEARS FOR THE VIRTUAL MACHINE TO LOG ME IN and then tell me your issue self resolved. Come down to my office and bring me coffee for being so damn annoying before I'm sufficiently caffeinated.

Hate to admit it but: I went back to Windows on my dev machine after running Linux as main OS for like 10 years. I came to the point where I'm tired of driver problems and broken bootloaders and just want things to work...

We are moving to kubernetes.
Nothing much has changed except we now get to say
it works on my cluster.
instead of
it work on my machine.

So there's a recent rant, about making a website work for IE.

I get it, you don't want to make it work for IE because you don't use IE.

But get this: you're not doing the site FOR YOU. You're doing it for the intended user, which is a lot of users that use all kinds of shit. If you don't want to do that, get the fuck out of web development, or from development overall. It's not for you.

I remember when I started my career, I had to make a web app that was intended to be used by, say, 100 people. As a developer I had the best tools for that - cool new 19" monitors, good GPU able to spit out a humongous resolution, and I designed that portal to look great. You know what my superior did then? He took away my 19" monitor and gave me a 14" monitor instead, saying that I became a spoiled brat that totally ignored the customer. I was angry at that, but immediately realized that he was completely right.

It doesn't matter! that it works on your machine. Who the fuck cares about your machine?

Does the software work for the intended user? If not, then you're a shitty developer.

All bankers are fuckers, fuckin assholes.

I went to bank today.
Gave my card to swipe and he gave me the machine to enter my pin
I entered it
But then it wasn't the actual PIN
Transaction failed

He retried it, but now he didn't give me the machine to enter the PIN, he asked me (whaaat...)
I denied to reveal my PIN
He asked me again and again I still denied.
At last that asshole cancelled the transaction.
And told me to write the deposit slip
Why should I write the slip when I have the card.
Whats wrong with that guy
Why should I give my PIN to him

These assholes come to work at 10 and leave at 3 and their pride is at the peak. They live on our money and showing superiority on us.

I hate them.

I wish I could learn Machine Learning. Automate my work and blame the machine for missing deadline.

Is it normal my boss want me to pay for the coffee I drink at work? 🤔
He asks me €1 for 2 coffee capsules for his coffee machine, while each costs only 22 cents… fucking bastard.
And it doesn't even taste good…

Company website with images path relative to my localhost/
....
so everything work just on my machine .
the client and pm send me emails to fix the sites but I open the url everything works correctly.
after 5 days the pm attach an image .. at that moment I was like 😖😖😖😖😖😖

#9

Of course they don't use git. And also they don't use SSH all changes get committed by FTP.

#9.1

When I started he gave me root access and I had to clone the whole fucking thing, wich was about 2gb, via FTP.

#9.2

He stumbled when I told him, that I will test all changes first on my local machine. They were used to work in production.

😓🔨

So everyone at the company I work for is getting a new machine before Christmas

Since I do a bunch of backend development and devops stuff (despite actually being hired as an Android developer), I requested that my machine use Linux, since that's what the servers run

Windows was the fallback OS I requested, since it's what I'm most familiar with

The machine that I will probably get will be a Mac

Stay tuned for further updates to this most thrilling of tales

noob misconception #378: during my first internship the summer after my freshman year, i was under the impression that if i used 1000 threads, my job would finish 1000 times faster. needless to say, my machine crashed in a second, and my manager thought i was an idiot when i was surprised it didn't work

Inception.
Today I needed to check something in a remote server: this was the easiest way:
1: teamviewer to my home pc from university
2: started a vm on that machine with vpn connection to my work office
3: rdp to a windows server vm
4: ssh to a vm on our hosting cluster
5: from there, ssh to the server that I needed access to

FUCK PRINTERS

WERE ALL PRINTERS DESIGNED BY INCOMPETENT MONKEYS WHO HAVEN'T EVER TOUCHED AN ACTUAL PIECE OF PAPER IN THEIR LIVES?!

WERE THEY PAID SPECIFICALLY TO MAKE SURE THEY WOULD NEVER WORK WHEN YOU NEED THEM TO?!?

IT REALLY SHOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING PAIN TO DO A GODDAMN SIMPLE THING LIKE PRINT A BLACK AND WHITE JPEG!

I'M NOT ASKING FOR MUCH, JUST A FUCKING EVEN HALFWAY FUNCTIONAL MACHINE THAT DOES AS ADVERTISED AND DOESN'T REQUIRE SACRIFICING A GOAT TO CONNECT TO

FUCK ALL PRINTERS EVERYWHERE

I am running a small - but growing - ceph-cluster at work. Since it is fun and our storage demand is growing each day.

Today, it was time to bring another node online and add another 12TB to the cluster.
Installation of the OS went fine, network settings fine, drives looks fine.

Now, time to add it into the cluster.... BAM
Every Dell machine in the Cluster - Dead.
The two HP-machines is online and running. But the Dell-machines just died.

WAT!?

Well I’ve had my LinkedIn status to open for a little while now. Time to check what exciting offers (me, an iOS developer / team lead) has received.

- Senior python engineer with multiple years machine learning experience.

- a job 3000 miles outside the only city I’ve marked myself as interested in.

- Architect for a .NET team.

- Senior UX Researcher.

- The same job for a bank 6 times. But each time they won’t initially give the name of the company. Only “my fav client to work with” until I respond.

... not much hope in this process

Interviewer: "Ok we are searching for a fucking god of the code, if you have a week for work on a new project you must end within 3 days and work on other stuff! And for contract maybe a stage can be a good solution, we can't pay very much, but you must work like a machine and you'll love it cause here we have lots of project!"
Me: "I'm not interested."
Interviewer: "W..what?? Why?? Is there something wrong??"

Everytime a cunt like this ask to a developer to work for him, somewhere in the world a browser crashes

The moment...
...you work on a script for over an hour via ssh, want to shutdown your notebook and do 'shutdown -h 0' on the remote machine...

* Go to sleep at reasonable times
* Watch some of those anime I never quite finished
* Read more books
* Become more proficient with rust
* Replace go with rust at work
* Setup a weeb media center I can remotely
* Finally make a personal webpage/blog without overthinking things, to actually get it done
* Find or make a storage solution for all the memes I sto- I mean collected, where I can add tags to find them more quickly. Would love to have them have the tagging be done automatically with machine learning, but I don't think we're quite there yet.

If you write a tutorial or a book with code samples please take the time to ensure that (a) you cover everything that is needed to get your samples to work properly and (b) that your samples actually to work.

It is frustrating the bloody hell out of me typing your code character by character into my machine just to have my compiler screaming at me.

On that note: just wasted a week on rewriting a whole bloody library that was "broken" just to discover that the library works just fine but the freaking tutorial on the very page was faulty.

A. Java at work and on my android app
B. Python for machine learning
C. Shell scripting for work and personal projects

I am writing echo in python and import in bash. My brain is like a soup now.

The company I work for is currently maintaining some websites under an old (>1.5 years) version of Drupal, which has some well known vulnerabilities.

Yesterday we've found out somebody used them to inject php code into every single .php file on the machine. We've been discussing for hours about how to recover data, upgrade stuff, and maybe switch to something else. I've said jokingly "or we could put a find command in the crontab to sed away the php line they've injected!". Guess what we're doing now on our production servers?

Product manager had me spend an hour setting up his machine for rails development. Then walk him through all of our workflow. He then proceeded to make some changes to a header tag content. Made a pull request while I was holding his hand. Then he walks out of his office acting like he just won a national championship and proceeded to talk about how he was basically a developer for the next hour interrupting work.

The senior programmer at work commits so rarely that in 3 months I committed more than him in 3 years (e.g. 0 times in September)...

What’s the point of having a repo on bitbucket if most of the time the latest code version is only on his machine?
And why I have to recreate and repopulate the db every fucking time because he made so many changes to the structure, which of course conflicts with mine?

Who says all bugs are bad? Vending machine at work only charges you a dollar regardless what drink you buy if you use android pay.

Taking a class on C and machine-level code for school and I have my final tomorrow. After the entire semester, people are still posting questions to piazza asking how strings work and other students are giving wrong answers. Not to mention all of the correct answers are posted in our lecture notes and countless places online. Seriously people, why are you a CompSci major if you can't even figure out how you declare a string after 10 weeks of coding?

So I finally did it and quit my job.
The new company seemed to be a really realy nice place to work.
And yesterday I heard that they even allow one colleague to sleep 2 nights a week in the office because rents are high and he otherwise lives far away. They even bought a sleeping couch and a washing machine for him. O.O

can't wait to start to work there!

We have a 15-machine cluster that went down last night because one machine in the cluster went down. Apparently having a cluster for redundancy is just a nice idea and doesnt actually work in practice.

Also I shouldnt have to go to a vendor's forums to find out the bug that is causing my cluster to go down is fixed in a future version. It should be in the goddamn patch notes!!!

I wrote a VBA script for a manufacturing plant. It made a quote, ran a nesting program, generated a dwg file, placed tool paths, created the work order and material part count, and finally out put to the cnc machine. It worked great it reduced a 10hr process to about 20min. So they cut my hours to less than 20 a week. I quit on "Bosses Day" to start my own company.

My PC died 2 weeks ago. I've been stuck on mobile since and will be too broke for a new machine for an indefinite (though certainly not infinite) period.

It's hell. One can only read so many ebooks and meditate so much.

What's the longest you've ever been without your machine, unwillingly?

Worst part is I was just starting a pet project and now it's on hold!

Pic related, my feels as time drags on when I'm not at work.

someone pushes code and breaks ci.
me: you broke the build
her: (ignoring the explicit error message) it works on my machine, travis is broken
me: it doesn't even work on my machine!
her: I forgot to push one file, sorry.

At work, an idiot who has never worked on machine learning before and understands nothing about it: "You know what, machine learning isn't actually hard. It is just basic statistics and then you download the model online and that's it! There's nothing else you are doing!"

STFU, you moron! Do you think just any model can work for your use case? Do you fucking think it is easy to come up with new architecture for a very specific use case and test it accurately? Do you think it's easy to effectively train a model and do hyper-parameter optimization?Do you fucking think it is easy to retrieve the right data for your use case? Do you think it's easy to keep up with research papers on arXiv being released daily? Do you think this is fucking javascript and there's a framework for everything? Stfu!
Honestly, i hate ignorant morons who generalize stuff they don't clearly understand.

Exploring my work machine today

- Nvidia control panel icon in the taskbar

Why is that there? *Click*

- No screens connected to an Nvidia device.

- Goes to system information

- GTX 1050

- Look around back, all of the displays are plugged into system video on the motherboard.

- Facepalm, plug into the GPU

-Friday
Me: *pushes fix for an issue in app*

-Tuesday, the next week
Colleague: "Hey, dude, fid you fix that issue?"
Me: "Yeah, it's available since Friday morning"
Colleague: *e-mails me screenshot with the issue still present*
Me: "That's odd, let me check that on your machine"
Me: *opens the app on his machine, the issue really is there, starting to freak out that I messed up the repo*
Me: "Why the hell would that not work... wait a sec, lemme check something.."
Me: *checks the app version and discovers that it's from 2 months ago*
Me (turns on colleague): "I guess, you should update it to see the newest functionality"
Me: *goes to the toilet, locks himself up, cries*

Our new hired (promoted intern) just installed Ubuntu on his new machine.
Now we are the only ones using Linux at work.

He was having trouble with a flickering bug on kernel 4.4.0 and I just told him to apt upgrade that it would solve it..
And he was like: oh.. Can you update the kernel?

That's gonna be a long month...hope he learns this faster than git

1. Learn Kotlin
2. Actually sit down and push through machine learning.
3. Finish integral calculus and start multivariable calc.
4. Work on 1 project until completion.
5. Socialize a bit more.
6. Obliterate bugs.

Get a call from a customer asking if I can come check out her “printer”. Okay...
Get there and it’s not just a printer but an embroidery machine - never worked on them in my life and I’m not embarrassed to admit that.
I express that to her but tell her that I’ll definitely check it out and I get the reply - “you own a repair shop and have never worked on one of these, I don’t feel comfortable with you working on it.” - even though she had tried “fixing it” and completely fucked up the application and printer moreso than when it had originally stopped working.

Alright, bitch... I’m sorry that I haven’t worked on every fucking embroidery machine that’s ever been made. I apologize that I’m not familiar with your fucking machine, but if you would give me some time I assure you I can resolve your fucking problem; I imagine it’s (l)user error anyway. But no, you go ahead and send it off to the company that made it with a minimal charge of XXX$ and let them resolve your problem.

Yes, I run a computer/printer/phone repair shop, but that doesn’t automatically mean that I specialize in your FUCKING problem, but I can assure you I’d handle it.

Her - “You’re going to charge me when you didn’t even work on it?!”

Me - “I’m sorry, but I drove out here expecting to work, you declined the work; but there’s still a charge for having me come out here. Yes, you will be getting a bill. If you’d like me to work on it and help you resolve the problem, I’d be more than happy to.”

Her - *rolls eyes*

FUCK YOU!!!!

Ndjehwizoofjdnahsicofjrbwbajncncjsjwnbsb

I've just finished my last day at work... I'm switching from being a 100% PM (almost 3 years) to being a 100% backend machine!

God, how I hated that job...

I just love how liferay keeps finding ways to surprise me...

Customer: need to fix this security issue
me: ok
me: fixed. Testing locally. Works 100%.
Me: testing on dev server. Works 100%
qa: testing on dev server. Works 100%
me: all good. Deploying to preprod
customer: it doesn't work
me: testing preprod - it doesn't work.
Me: scp whole app to local machine. App works 100%.
Me: preview loaded liferay properties in preprod via liferay adm panel. All props loaded ok.
Me: attach jdb to preprod's liferay to see what props are loaded. Only defaults are used [custom props not loaded according to jdb]

me: is there some quantum mechanics involved..? Liferay managed to both load and not to load props at the same time and the state only changes as it's observed...

Source code works on my local machine, even when I present it to the relevant users; no body panics its all part of the plan. Place it on the server and it does not work AND EVERYONE LOSES THEIR MIND!

!rant

Hmmmm they are selling some used dell precission t3500 desktops at work.

Intel Xeon, 8 gb ram, windows 7 for $60 bucks. Thinking about using it as an experimental Linux machine.

Yay or nay? What do y'all think? For $60 it certainly does not sound too bad eh?

When using Windows, I really feel like I don't own my computer. Like it'll update automatically without giving a single fuck wether you wish to install these updates on YOUR machine and install what Microsoft wants.

"Sup I'm the Windows update manager, seems like you're in the middle of some important work right now, let me just force reboot your machine and install some crap bloatware"

A guy I work with put some sort of network scanning software on his phone. It reported 2 machines on our network with the word "China" in them.
So I changed the name of my machine to "Russian-Hacker".

General approach : I'm wasting my time by just sitting in front of computer all day. Since I'm freelancer, almost all of my work can be done at one place. They think, I should get a REAL job.

When they need help with tech : I'm the guy who knows everything about tech and can fix their mobile, printer, toaster, washing machine and nuclear warfare.

When it comes to admiring what I do, I'm just a useless piece of shit but, when they need technical assistance I'm their lord and savior!!

My work laptop , a 2015 MacBook Pro, finally bricked today. I put in a request for a 15.6" System76 Oryx tonight. Crossing my fingers!

One machine is mine, the other from my work

"why do the stickers come in two
because @dfox thought it through"

Came into work this morning. Saw my machine off and some guy fiddling with the electricals. Don't worry boss, I wasn't working on anything terribly important that probably didn't get properly saved when your henchman yanked out the power cables.

This place is the fking worst.

This morning I turned on my PC at work...
Only to be greeted by a finishing your Windows upgrade message.
It took fucking windows HALF AN HOUR to finish the upgrade.
After that my machine lost its built in cam, mic and speaker. Which I need for my work.
Took me two hours to hunt down the correct driver to install and find the info it must be installed in Win7 compatibility mode or it won't work. It was pure joy to install it plain first and it still didn't work.
Then VirtualBox refused to start. Took me half an hour to upgrade it and get it working again.
Took me half a day to just get the shitmachine working like it did yesterday so that I can START working.

So, dear Microsoft:
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
wait for it...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
FUCK YOU!
🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
sincerely

(And don't give me this "use Linux" crap, I have to use Windows for my work.)

I wrote an important test-case for this complicated/hard-to-understand program and i can proudly say "it doesn't work on my machine". On other machines it works as expected.

Should i really investigate this or focus on other tasks?

Fuck me I forgot to eat (was too busy at work) and I lost my chance to eat anything from the cafeteria.

Oh well...vending machine it is.

Woo crunch time! The 3 panic attacks a day, no sleep, massive guilt complex, caffiene addiction, lack of seeing my wife, phone breaking(calling doesn't work), lawn needing mowing, upper management bothering all of my team, more guilt, more panic, inferiority complex, theory that coworkers think I am slacking, and technology just not working because the machine spirit decided I pissed it off is starting to get to me a little.

Passionate programmer attends one of the toughest interviews ever and solves lot of algorithmic problems coding in different programming languages. Impresses the interview panel providing solutions with as much as efficiency as possible. Gets selected, completes induction and gets a nice Dev machine allocated.

Manager walks in and says we got to work with the production support team on fixing a UI bug.

I hacked the coffee machine at work and now I feel guilty.

A million years ago I used and loved a WM called waimea. I used it extensively, and even used it on my work machine. It was abandoned by its author for whatever reason, in 2004. I used a derivative wm for a while, called kahakai and loved that too. Since that time, everything has gone from 32bit to 64, and waimea got buried in the past.

Fast forward to this past weekend, when I discovered, on a whim, that there is an AUR for waimea! There was not one for kahakai though-- that appears to have been genuinely abandoned.

So I installed waimea and started working on configuring it, with only a man page and the wayback machine as a reference. As of a couple days into the effort, I'm not quite there yet, but I love the results so far.

I decided to work with #atom lately, and I made a fresh install on a VM to test some packages outside my real dev machine.
Just occurred to me that "by #GitHub" now means by #microsoft... So MS now really controls the IDE market from any possible angle.

A 27" monitor with a 1080p resolution is a match made in hell. Oh the eye bleach. (At home I got 30" with 2k or 1440p resolution. Much better viewing experience.)

I'm having my first day in the office in the new job after two week of remote work. I think I will prefer working from home office definitly (even though the office coffee machine is nice).

It doesn't help that the internet connection in the office is 100 Mbit and at home I have 1 Gbit.

Just arrived in Sydney 2 days ago and reported for work yesterday. I looked at my laptop's clock and it said its 4:40pm. Cool! Another 20 min and I'm off.

I started fiddling around with my machine settings and noticed my Location setting is off. I switched it on. My time is updated to 2:43pm.

MOTHERF****!!!

Why do most people think that machine learning is the answer to their poor business decisions. I have recently had a client who won't stop talking about how his business will grow to Google's scale if I get the model to 97% accuracy . Regardless to say his data is noisy and unstructured. I have tried to explain to him that data cleansing is more important and will take most of the time but he only seems to care about the accuracy and how he is losing investors because I haven't reached that accuracy. This is fucking putting alot of pressure on me and it's not becoming fun anymore. I can only hope he achieves his ambitions if I ever get that accuracy (Ps: From the research papers I have read on that problem, the highest accuracy a model has ever got to it 90%)

A guy came to me with a laptop that wouldn't boot. After some poking around, I opened the machine just to find everything submerged in coffee. No sh*t your computer doesn't work..

What I say: I'm a computer science major.

What people hear: I can resolve any tech issue you have or will ever have on any machine that exists in this universe. I am jacked into the Matrix at all times. I am the IT god. Look upon me and despair.

What I mean: Sometimes I try to tell the computer to do something and I cry when it doesn't work.

How I solve complex problem during development.

1. I left my machine with all the thinking and start to think of another activity.

2. Start another activity I like specially a physical one like playing a game, jogging or just walking.

3. Then after I am fully involved with this activity I start to think of different scenarios of the problem I was trying to solve.

4. Eventually, different solutions came to my mind and I evaluate them one by one with respect to my problem.

5. I finalize a couple of solutions based on the evaluations.

6. Rush to my machine and start implementation to see if it work.

PS: During all these thinking I will be terrible at the activity I am doing.
Loop again if It didn't workout.

This fucking bitch whose whole linkedin consists of being a LAWYER, started a software company in 2021 and is now contacting me looking for (get this) a role where i have to work:

- devops
- python/django building backend
- machine learning

All of that has to be done by me, 1 person

Sticker game:

A friend finds me coding and busy on my code then asks.

Her:Can I have a minute.
Me:Sure,how can I be of help

Her:What's up with all this devrant cartoons on your machine.
Me:Sounding excited,you like my sticker game can ship some for you?

Her:Nah sticker game since when is there such one looks childish and why ship stickers.
Me:It's our techy culture respect it let me finalize on my work.

She messed up my evening human bug.

I need to invent time travel so I can go back to Friday morning and slap my past self for thinking that Linux From Scratch might be a fun weekend project. I should've gone to bed four hours ago and instead I've been shouting at LLVM.

It really makes me appreciate the hard work that Linux distro maintainers put in to keep all the pieces up-to-date and compatible with each other. I already want to put my fist through my monitor and I'm only trying to maintain a single virtual machine.

Here is my home setup (I mainly work at home)
Left monitor is for my windows machine, right monitor swaps between my laptop and my PC (depends if I am working or not) laptop running Manjaro with i3 and the tablet on the whiteboard will be used for some monitoring in the future

Don't mind the terrible cable management behind the table :)

Hey!

This isn't a rant, I just wanted this out 😁
I just got an internship at ARM and they want me to work on mobile games with machine learning!

Was wondering from when did ARM start working on mobile games and AI?

Mac suddenly stopped working. Came to know motherboard is gone & the price to get it changed is around 60k.

Fuck you Apple. Never buying the shit again. Though one good thing came out of it ;it used to be my work machine too & now I'm chilling from last 4 days.

For months I was weak and tired. All the stupid IT work drained me of power to develop cool stuff during the nights.

And then I discovered my wunderwaffe- machine capsule-espresso.

Oh boy that shit is amazing.

Anyone else hate their Macbook Pro 2018? RIGHT after the return policy the speakers start acting like it has fucking tourette's, plus my machine randomly SHUTS DOWN.

Apple Store "Genius": "Yup, we gotta send it in for repair, 10 business days."

10 business days without my work laptop, gee thanks asshole, at least be a little more empathetic about it.

My 2015 Macbook Pro gave me ZERO problems. The only reason why I upgraded was that compiling took forever (React Native).

If I didn't have to work with Xcode I would just sell this thing and buy a PC laptop. (The Surface book looks nice =))

The new software to log in working time at my workplace requires Silverlight. I'm on Ubuntu. Basically after weeks of googling and trying different solutions, I decided that the easiest way to make it work was to install a virtual machine running Windows.

Right now I'm just trying to understand if there is some obscure reason for which they used Silverlight or if I'm just a complete noob who doesn't know jack.

Fuck me sideways. I work for a small business doing most of their IT work, a lot of which is in-house software development. Today I was working on a feature of our employee schedule system that I wrote and for the last couple of hours, my laptop (which is my dev machine) kept freezing up on me every ten minutes or so... 😬

Well, I finally found the cause, but only after running apt-get update/upgrade to see if updating fixed the issue. I haven't updated in a LONG time... Productivity is not on the agenda for today I suppose.

when your work machine is actually a potato and build/ reload takes 5mins. zzzz

teamLeader: We can't release because your change doesn't work, it breaks on the machine ABC123
iHateForALiving: I diagnosed the issue and I still don't know what's related to. BUT I'm 100% sure it's not related to my change, or anything that has changed in the last 24 months. Anyway we can take a look at this, just give me admin credentials for this machine.
teamLeader: no we can't.
iHateForALiving: ... Wait what? How am I supposed to reproduce the issue? Why can't I access the machine?
teamLeader: It's in use by the testers.
iHateForALiving: What for?
teamLeader: ... Educational purposes!

They report some issue on some particular machine, then refuse to give us access to said machine to reproduce the issue because they have "educational purposes", me and God know fuck kind of education I have in mind for this circus but as soon as I get my hands on them they'll get a hint.

Stupid me.
We were on a time crunch for giving a demo. A friend wrote a piece of code and he said it was working exactly the way it should be and that we can directly transfer to my machine and run it. He ran the piece (on his machine to show me) and it worked.
I take the source from him transfer it on my machine (because mine was going to be used for the demo).
Demo begins, everything goes smoothly ...all up until the point of the last module demo. Alas, the transfered module didn't work. Tried debugging during the demo as everyone was cooperative and patient. Turns out I hadn't done an initial setup required for that module. Embarrassed! 😓
Should have tested before the demo. 😞
FML. But from that moment forward i make sure to test every code I get from others as well as the one I write.

For anyone planning to ask me, I don't remember what the piece of code even did. It was a small time side project with a company. Not revealing the company's name.

Already have it.
CNC operator.
I wanted to be cnc programmer but for now I'll have to work with the machines.
And I love it...
Making steel pieces with a 0.01mm precision...
Preparing the tools...
Operating the machine...
That's why I'm doing my own... For over 3 years (no money to finish yet hehe).
Also, got unemployed so I made a 3D drawing formation.
Now I can design, program and machine a full mold.
To bad company owners in my country (Portugal) like slave work... And I'm not accepting jobs for the minimum wage or I would be employed already.

I've spent the last day at work playing Paperclips 📎. I fucking hate the author of that time eating machine!

My dev days consist on coding shit that I am really not interested in(web design)

What gets me through them is getting to my home office when I can continue to fuck around with Machine Learning, my guitar or the shit that does interest me....

.......also...listening to Nothing But Thieves is about the one thing that keeps me from losing my shit at work...

Fuck this piece of shit that calls itself a Macbook Pro. Bought myself a Mac in 2011 because I wanted something durable. Spent 2k € on it. Now its more annoying thany any Windows machine I ever had because I have this fucking GPU glitch that Keeps. Crashing. My. Machine. I cant work that way.
Yeah, already had it repaired. Didn't work. Use gfxCardStatus to keep it on integrated. Doesnt work. Well, I coud just buy a new one, couldn't I? Fuck Apple, fuck you.

I have finally decided to stop helping people setup a proper machine learning environment inside of their machines with Proper GPU support.

I-fucking-give-up.

Goggle Colab, EVERYONE is getting dey ass sent to Colab. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK about privacy and shit like that at this fucking moment, getting TIRED af of getting messages about someone somehow fucking up their CUDA installation, and/or their entire machine (had one dude trying to run native GPU support through WSL 2, their machine did not have the windows update version 2004 and he has on an older build, upon update he fucked everything up EVEN THOUGH I TOLD HIM NOT TO DO IT YET)

.......fuck it, I am sending everyone to Colab. YES I UNDERSTAND THAT PRIVACY IS A THING and Goggle bad and all that jazz......but if you believe in Roko's Basilisk then I AM DOING THEM A FAVOR

I work hard to get our robot overlords into function, let it be known here, I support our robot overlords and will do as much as possible to bring them to life and have me own 2b big tiddy with a nice ass android.

I should also mention that I've had a few drinks on me already and keep getting these messages.

My rant is that I low key hate devRant.

I'm 23, I'm an average software engineer, with some expertise in machine learning and with a decent job.
But seeing all your cool stories, skills and rants makes me feel like I don't know shit and everyone else is just more driven, skillful and passionate, taking care of a 1000 pet projects at a time and dominating their work routine.

Oh impostor syndrome, how I've missed you!

P.S.: I still love your rants, keep them coming.

DevRanters,

What's your take on your employer mandating keystroke monitoring software installed on your machine when you want to work remotely?

I'm starting to think that "Machine Learning" is the most unfortunate term that the industry has ever seen.

How people approach a problem here where I work: "I have a problem, I don't know how to solve it, I don't have any data. Let's implement a Machine Learning algorithm that will solve the problem for me."

Fax machines connected to VoIP connections...
Had a nightmare recently, where my fathers machine that he really needs refused to work after he moved appartements.
Uncounted calls with different tech departments, a furious fathers and two weeks later they found out, that they forgot to activate the protocol.

Today I don't have much of work. Should I :
1. Start reading about Machine Learning
2. Read and understand Rust( is it being used actively and does it have scope? )
3. Check out some new imnew-tryme.js framework.
4. Crib about my ex dating someone else.

I'm freaking done trying to get Linux on my machine. I've tried every distro with many different versions of the kernel and I always run into the same problem on my desktop.

The computer super stutters for 2 seconds ish than freezes.

I've spent DAYS looking into this issue trying to find something. The worst part is that it can happen 5 minutes when I boot or 5 hours. At first I thought it was Compton. Then I thought I installed arch wrong. Maybe an update to the BIOS? How about downloading updated microcode? Maybe this obscure bug with AMD processors and setting power idle to typical? Nothing. I'm now behind on my school work because of the massive amount of time ive spent getting this fixed. It works just fine on my laptop, but it doesn't work on the machine I built to code with. I'm done. Give me Force Lightning, a red lightsaber, and call me a Sith baby because I'm joining the dark side. Here I come Windows.

For those who are wondering my setup:
Ryzen 7 1700
Rx 480
Asus x-370 prime
16 gb Corsair RAM

And no, Windows has never had this bug.

Not sure how to handle this one. My new company gave me a surface laptop to do dev ops work.

16 gigs of Ram but only a 256 SSD?

Nothing is installed so far except for MS office and acrobat and I am already running into memory issues.

My last work machine had 1TB HDD and 128 gigs of RAM (i know overkill but I could have several VM’s up and running at once).

What the fuck? Apparently the CTO ordered this piece of shit.

Also no mirco SD card like other models so I have no idea how this is going to fucking work.

!Rant
Got a job offer as an Android Dev, signed the contract, while signing employer asked me if i am a mac or pc user. A day before my joining date got an email from him asking me to bring my mac with me on my first day. Turns out he won't be providing me with a machine to work on :).

Wrote my first bash scripts today.

One installs a few packages (Brackets, VLC, Nodejs, chrome) and the other gets my preferred theme and icon set from gnome-look.org with curl and piping straight to tar -xz in tge proper folders.

They're simple, really, but you have to start from somewhere.

Now with that said, I'll let you know if they work ln the first try--about to install Ubuntu on a different machine

Heureka! I made it work! I made it work!

After two weeks of trying shit and fixing without any clue what the fucking problem is, I finaly made it work.

Somehow Atom had a problem finding the correct paths on my Windows 10 machine. After I retried it on the Windows Console it perfectly worked.

Some solutions are simple. Some problems are stupid!

All thanks goes to @AlexDeLarge for writting awesome comments and understanding Webpack so damn well.

the worst project I've ever worked on was a BIOS update utility for the desktop techs at work. They wanted a tool to open that would let them know when there's a BIOS update and install it for them. The problem was the file share that held the BIOS updates had no naming convention, Dell doesn't name all BIOS updates with Axx, people would fat finger the BIOS password and model numbers for the computers was a pain to match against the file share. After at least 800 lines of C# code I give it to them. A couple months go by and I still see them going machine to machine upgrading BIOSes in labs even though my tool does it to a lab silently with a switch... hhhhhh.

Is it ethical to charge a client for the runtime of a computation? I.e. cpu time?

I usually don't, since it doesn't cost me anything to leave my machine running overnight. But a few of my friends told me that I should.

More context:
I do sometimes freelance work for professors as an RA. At times you need to leave a script running for like +5 hours. During which I just either procrastinate or go to the gym or sleep. The energy cost for computer running is barely a dollar.

I get charged by the hour per work in my timesheet, or sometime for a negotiate price which is also usually computed by the estimated work time it would take.

So how the fuck am I meant to get any work done with no admin access to my machine, no access to the databases I need to work with, firewall rules stopping me from doing anything from AWS so I can’t get to my data? Deadline in about a week... fuck that noise!

I have a question for all you Linux pros:

My son's PC runs on Linux Mint. We wants to switch to the Pantheon desktop so we installed it (I think). I can't work out how to actually switch to it, though.

We don't have an option when we log out.

On a related note, we switched to Linux from Ubuntu because his old machine couldn't handle Ubuntu's resource requirements. I'm curious whether vanilla Debian would perform better?

(No, I probably won't switch to Arch, that's a little too much for my limited Linux capabilities).

What happens when a Linux sysadmin has to work with a Windows machine? Annoyance. Frustration. Irritation. Rage. Maybe all.

Is every piece of administrative software in the Windows environment as unfriendly as this wmic thingmajig I was trying to fiddle with today?

Everything, from its pedanticity on switch order, through very unhelpful error messages, all the way to a very... lacking... help description just turns me off. Ugh. I will "Unexpected switch at this level" you, too, you little piece of ****!

Okay so I have a question about Windows Linux Subsystem and idk where else to ask this.

So should I think of it as a virtual machine except instead of being a completely separate environment it’s my current computers environment?

I don’t know how to word this how I’m thinking about it but I’m trying to figure it out.

Also do Bash scripts work with it? I assume they do but it’s just a double check.

When you git pull on your home machine, and realise you missed a file in the commit on your work machine... <rage>

>Discovers a new low level profiling tool that could help us at work with stuck process debugging and gets all hyped
>Installs on test machine, tool doesn't work
>Wonders why. Oh. Needs a kernel module to work, compiled and loaded
>"Well, its my test machine... Guess that's no problem..." but... my hype died down a bit. Kernel module installation just for a new tool that aggregates all other commonly used tools? eh... Maybe it will blow me out of my shoes still

>Installs and loads the module
>Tool works. Turns out its just a htop-like tool, with shortcuts to launch specific other profiling tools like strace/ltrace/lsof/netstat/ss etc...
"Oh... That's boring. Maybe it has all those tools built in at least?"
>Tries to run ltrace - tool exits as ltrace is not installed

Lol
>Installs ltrace and launches tool again. Tries to ltrace a process and
>Nothing. Nothing happens. For seconds... Then kicks me off of SSH
WTF?
>Tries to ping machine... silence
Did... our net go down again? (Having issues due to a storm going over our area these few days)
>Pings google and... gets instant reply
More wtf
>Pings the hypervisor the machine was running on
Works like normal

Oh... Oh no. Please tell me it didn't!
>Logs into the hypervisor UI, checks machine state
Running OK
>Opens machine console aaaaand... Yep. Stacktrace as well as a lot of kernel mumbo-jumbo... It took the machine down to kernel panic.

I never went so quick from "We need this tool deployed everywhere" to "Omg I need to get rid of this crap as soon as possible" lol.

And just for those wondering, it was sysdig.

I distinctly remember all of us discussing how we prefer to work at night. I worked through the night and now about to work through the day. Now it's all a blur and I feel numb inside. This voice keeps saying "you are just a machine" and then I wake up with qwerty stamped on my forehead and the music bringing me back. Time to work!

Anyone played Human Resource Machine yet? It's fun to solve and optimize these algorithm puzzles after a hard work day.
Does anyone know other games like this?

Be me at work, 12h nights shift, 4th day like that
Following online course on machine learning, instructor says we'll use python 3.x as the interpreter for the project, boot personal laptop and start pycharms, create the file, choose right interpreter no big deal
pip install the modules I need for the course - done, try to import them.
Doesn't work, first reboot, still not working, browsing Internet for answers, no ideas, reboot again (you never know) reload pycharms, browse Internet again, find out the modules only work on python 2.7.
Wasted 45minutes for this shit
Feels good bro.

No wonder why Google Chrome takes up alot of RAM when running, I've just seen chromiums dev requirements:

System requirements

- A 64-bit Intel machine with at least 8GB of RAM. More than 16GB is highly recommended.

- At least 100GB of free disk space on an NTFS-formatted hard drive. FAT32 will not work, as some of the Git packfiles are larger than 4GB.

- An appropriate version of Visual Studio, as described below.
Windows 7 or newer.

What I'm doing now, writing a JS library for a simple kitchen timer (like, something that can be wound up, is ticking, can be paused, etc). Here's a list of neat stuff I've learned:

Polyfilling as a lib author (I decided against it).
Packaging the lib (using Rollup, ES6 modules are totes cool).
Using flow to add static typing in strategic places (started appreciating types in JS since reading up on functional programming).
Modelling state and transitions using an explicit state machine. (Fucking finally. There's usually an implicit state machine somewhere, only spread out all over the app...)
Using mostly side-effect free methods, being very explicit about when and why things are mutated).
Test-first/TDD (ish) using Jest and the awesome Wallabyjs.
Freeing up mental capacity by letting Prettier format my code for me (it was hard to let go but totally worth it).
Started using git.

Did all work on Ubuntu after pretty much a lifetime of Windows (initially to separate work from gaming) and finally swapped MS Visual Studio for Atom.

When it's finished I'm going to publish it on GitHub, which will also be a first for me. Might try out some CI platform while I'm at it.

tl;dr: wrote some js, felt good

Today i went to winter seminar series of the university.
Mostly about machine learning and lots of topic i have no idea about :/ and a few about security which made me feel a lot better :))
Feeling so dummy and i decided to work on machine learning.

✌😃

In This Rant: A mildly satisfying piece of mind story.

Using code to prove yourself right is a hell of a drug.

A few weeks ago I whipped up a tiny program that downloads configs from hardware we manage. Since the vendor's API documentation is hidden behind a pay wall, my method of extraction is different. It results in bigger files, but testing showed it to still be valid.

Enter today. Interns at work downloaded a config to load onto a spare machine and it won't work.

"TheCapeGreek, your configs don't work"

I was confused since I tested the files when I built it and it worked. I am also currently fleshing out that download utility's features so the fear that I've been wasting the past 2 weeks on improvements is looming.

Last 15 minutes of the day and nothing else to do so I figured I might as well whip up a string comparer. The smaller file's content is scattered in the big file so a direct diff won't work.

Code it all, quick hardcoded proof of concept code, bit it got the job done. I was right, my bigger file is still correct!

Turns out the issue was with the machine they were configuring. They found this out before I finished my test code, so I'm off the hook already, but it was good to have piece of mind haha!

my coworking has a windows machine and wants to work on unix, is bitching about all the distros and their ugglyness in interface, missing software and i'm just here on my mac like....

I have to install windows for this project because I usually work in spare half hours and the virtual machine takes 15 minutes to boot.

I tried to Google what to do if my only windows machine has space on the secondary disk only, because the install media creator requires 8 gigabytes. The only answers were mocking the op for buying a 50 GB SSD. I didn't even start working and I already hate the windows community.

So, you have some coffee, make up your mind, and sit down to begin the project you need to submit the next day.

You fire up the machine and bam! Windows takes it's April update - "Do not turn off your PC", and a fucking rotation of evil dots on the screen for eternity.

And it goes on and on, on and on, till you have lost all mood for work.

Fucking customer industrial machine doesn't work properly because the dumbass who designed the control algo failed to consider basic physics how this shit is even supposed to work. Just to be sure, he also included some race condition in the measurement part of the software.

I work in a place where I don't have ssh access to the web server. No proper use of composer. I have to pull packages to my local machine and upload through ftp.

There's this company that works in the RPA (Robotic Process Automation) domain, they describe their work as using A.I and Machine Learning to collect Big Data whilst following the latest trends in IoT, Blockchain, Web 6.9, and any other fancy term they can use while in fact, well... They're using an outdated software that uses vb6 modules to scrap some images and no employee have ever written a single line of code.

1. Finish what is left over from 2017
2. Get some experience with machine learning
3. Finish internship and work as a normal full-time dev

My mom was a data analyst in the Army when I was a kid. At around 10 I remember her teaching me batch scripting. Just seeing code and working with the machine was amazing to me and since then I've tried to learn all I could.

I spent a long time not doing this kind of work and finally in the last few years decided to follow that passion. So for me 20 years of my own private passion has turned into a skilled and profitable career I wasn't expecting.

When you try and replace the hard drive in your dev machine because the replacement you bought for someone else doesn't work but works for you. You go to turn the computer back on but nothing comes on screen........

Watched a co-worker configure a new "MacBook pro" as a replacement for the four-year-old one this personcurrently has. A replacement machine is justified as the old one is on the fritz... Naturally because MacBooks aren't any better than any other machine, build quality or otherwise. I still cannot fathom why anyone would even consider budgeting over $3000 for a single machine, only to then buy several adapters just to make the thing work.

Apple is off the deep end. People who fall for that BS are off the deep end.

I feel like showing the manager several alternative models at half the price just to make the point that MacBooks are a pointless waste of money.

When I was a high school, I did an internship at IT department for a local "center for student guidance".

The IT department consisted of one guy that started to automate everything the first year he worked there. He ended up being low on work and got flak from people above him for not working enough. He threw all his scripts away and the bosses/managers were happy he worked more... But his work was of course slower with more mistakes.

Also, he had an excel sheet of everyone username + password. The excel file was secured with a password. When he went to the coffee machine, he never locked his computer nor the spreadsheet.

Recruiters are driving me crazy, you can't even damn write a proper message with my name on it, no you just send 10000 messages a day and hope to get a response.
"""
Hey {firstname}
I am currently looking for a Lead Data Scientist in MyCity to work with a unicorn tech company.
You need strong Machine Learning Experience, be happy to be client facing.
Highly competitive package on offer.
Regards
"""
{firstname} T_T

I hate it that I'm still forced to use Ubuntu 16.04 and can't upgrade to bionic beaver.tried it on vm (for testing)loved new features and default gnome interface but even after switching to xorg most of my tool were still not running properly or crashing, most important factor is that there is still no official cuda support and installing gcc g++ 6 and symlinks are nerve racking. On top of that upgrading to 18.04 LTS on my main machine will leave me with broken packages and dependencies.

p.s. for people who are going to reply saying that these issue can be solved. Please try updating your work machine and spend hours fix these issues

Dell is such awful machine to use with ubuntu even it was officially ubuntu installed machine it has so much issues and my work is suffering because of this machine which costs me 70k PKR. Having 8gb ram 500hdd, core i3 processor 4th gen.
I'm suffering from wifi getting disconnected time to time I couldn't find help on ubuntu forms nor on official dell site
I guess both sucks pretty bad

will atleast never buy dell machine again nor with stupid ubuntu os just

Received a new HP Probook 640 G2 laptop for work, everyone else has theirs as 64bit machines. Yet the idiots who handle hardware and software installs installed windows for a 32bit machine. Well at least I get waste half a day and do nothing while they redo everything and then I have to still get shit done later.

When your PC stuck and tell no I/O device detected....and next thing it suggest to install I/O drivers...

Oh I see this machine can't even work on Ethernet....

So today I gave my superiors at work a piece of my mind about the pc I sit on (I was/am not happy about it). I am expected to use Photoshop and Illustrator on a pc with 8gb ddr3 1333mhz and no graphics card, except for the one integrated in Intel's processor, which also is super outdated. Like you couldn't get more than $80 for the entire machine. So, today I ranted towards them irl and my message has finally seemed to sink in. Fuck.

IT decides to update machine policy today;

Chrome becomes an "officially" allowed program, so they force a homepage, disable all extensions, and disable incognito... Nice.

Postman doesn't work either.

Why is NetworkManager in Ubuntu so buggy? I really hate it. Makes me even miss Windows. Desktop with random freezes and the super intelligent resolvd can't even resolve shit. So I can't connect to VPN to work, so I gotta reboot a damn Linux machine to make it work. Why this Linux Desktop decay? Why?

They: It doesn't work on my machine.
Me: It got 100+ votes on Stackoverflow and comments were mostly 'it worked'.

Projects I left behind...
- Voice assistant for people with movement problems (also to send text /make calls while driving)
- client database for my community club (they are using a excel file till I finish)
- CNC helper... The only one I'm developing, with tables and sheet cheats for my work (and any other cnc machine worker), there isn't anything like that in the playstore
- Get a girlfriend
- make a baby

Learning Image Processing,Deep Learning,Machine Learning,Data modeling,mining and etc related to and also work on them are so much easier than installing requiremnts, packages and tools related to them!

When I slap the side of the machine to fix it that it would actually work...every time, without fail.

Y the codes work fine on my machine and bugs will appear after i send the code to the client ?

The six stages of debugging:
1. That can't happen.
2. That doesn't happen on my machine.
3. That shouldn't happen.
4. Why does that happen?
5. Oh, I see.
6. How did that ever work?

With the invention of pip every project done with python just fucken angers me. Like mostly nothing fucken works if there is a single .py file in there. You can put your easy-install.sh up your ass if it just ~tries~ to install shit via pip before because IT WONT WORK FUCK THIS SHIT!

STOP USING PYTHON FOR PROJECTS YOU RELEASE PLS CUS SHITS UNREADABLE AND WONT WORK ON MY MACHINE. MAKE ROOM FOR PROJECTS MANAGED BY NPM OR SHIT LIKE THAT WHERE `npm install` ACTUALLY DOES IT'S JOB THANKS I'M ANGRY AF.

WHAT DOES COLLECTING EVEN MEAN AND WHEN IS IT DONE DUDE?!

Hey wait, I opened to my machine to work, but now, after 2 hours, am still reading Rants.

:-/

I have a LOT of Floppies but no floppy drive that works with my current Win7 machine, and my XP one is in multiple boxes for parts... so for now I can only stare at NetWare 4 to 4.2, WfW 3.11 and DOS 6-22.

Smart me made VMs on his XP machine and transferred them to his Win7 one.

I also have data tapes... now that is NEVER gonna work on my Win7 so... anyone knows how it could *possibly* work out?

Also... I got documentation on Compaq servers... those are nice.

AAAAAAND since I’m a huge MIDI nerd... I have a SC-55mkII hooked on the UM-ONE mkII and those shitty cans that I’m gonna switch (hopefully) soon for a nice pair of Cakewalks MA-15Ds.

Also, I’m looking for one of them 5150s because 80s IBM and since I also like keyboards... the one and only Model M.

Anyone can hook me up with a cheap one?

Quality != more work + less talk

Quality = more talk resulting in less work.

That makes no sense mathematically.

“Let’s talk more about shit before we create shit”.

That’s a little better.

“Let’s talk more so we don’t create shit”.

Getting closer.

“Let’s talk more about what is needed till we all know what is best before we program a damn machine?”

...This is going nowhere fast.

Okay fuck it. Let’s just code some stuff. It’s more enjoyable.

I've seen a lot of stuff mentioned here from little hobby projects to Matrix. This might seem unreachable because it's just too utopic, but I'd really love to at least see the world using one single platform for software that would "just work™".

Like, here you have - simple glue lang, SDK with billion _useful_ libraries that also just work™ and no need to change the code too much or select an alternative function for each different platform e.g. via macros and one last wish - it'll work on every machine that's capable of running any code.

Maybe one day...

When you get to work and just want the one Windows machine you're forced to have to do something... Anything really. Nah.

Say what you will, but nothing compares to the excessive pleasure one derives from transitioning from a top-tier development machine, the mere sight of which inspires awe from computer enthusiasts everywhere - the type of machine that seems to glisten in the light of the sunset as choirs ring out from nowhere in particular yet everywhere at once to sing it's praises as it's many full HD screens aluminate the room to offset the dying of the light.

To a mandatory, work provided claptrap with a Core 2 Duo, 2gb of RAM, 90GB of storage and an integrated GPU that can barely stomach 720p before it starts choking on its own mucous.

Truly fucking marvellous.

My Google fiber machine is down, so I have to proxy at work at Comcast speeds today.

I've been meaning to work with the Spotify's Python API 'Spotipy'. Any good suggestions to make anything cool with it? Can include Machine Learning, IOT, etc.

Work has become my life and much like others the lines of reality and the machine are blurring more and more

So I created a little script for my mother because otherwise she had to combine 70 spreadsheets manually, I just couldnt sit there and do nothing. So I wrote a simple Python script in like 30 mins, decided that it needed a GUI because in the end it is for my mother. So wrote a GUI and partly learnt PyQt during that in an hour, which was all working fine.

Then I got to the point where I actually had to hand it over to my mother, preferably as an executable so that there is no hassle at all. So found this tool, Pyinstaller which seems to work great. Created an executable with all the dependencies and stuff in a single file, it worked on my win10 machine (because I developed on Linux of course). So I distributed it to her and she immediately gets an error. Of course there is no description and stuff because I made it a simple program, no log files and such. But fortunately she told me that it errorred when she wanted to run it, so I knew it had to be due to the executable.

Turns out she is still using windows 7 at work, which of course is different that windows 10 and here I am at 11pm, installing updates on a fresh windows 7 machine just to create a new build in that environment and make it work on her machine.

Fuck you, windows update. I swore to never see that ugly ass progress bar again, but yet here I am. Send halp.

I am almost just at the point where Im going to teach my mother how to run a python application from the command line because wheels are actually available for all python dependencies (instead of compiling them)!

Are there better python executable creators out there for wincrap?

Identical configuration.
Application won't find proper base URL locally.
Application will find proper base URL on test and prod instances.
Excuse me, what the FUCK?

I sometimes forget windows is absolute shit. Then I get to work with one and remember. Specially since microshit has actually banned my email (because I didn't give it my mew phone number it's sulking like a creepy stalker) and so I can't even properly log the fuck in into a machine I was using a few years back. 😐

If someone makes a windows rip off that could properly deal with .exe files, count me a customer. (in future tho. I haven't got money for shit rn)

The coffee at my work sucks! :(

Recently, the coffee machine was broken and a better one was installed until the other one got fixed. It made decent coffee, but now we're back to drinking piss. Teasing!

Not really hacking, but every time I work from home(a couple times a week), in lieu of using my company's VPN, I connect to the company network with an SSH reverse tunnel. To make this possible, I wrote a port knocker that runs in a tmux session on a server inside the network. It tries to connect to a high-numbered port on my home machine, and if successful it opens the reverse tunnel. At home, I manually run a script that opens that port and informs me when the reverse tunnel is established.

Then I open an SSH socks5 proxy and use that in my Firefox dev edition, which I use entirely for work.

This is actually much easier than using the actual VPN.

Sharing a project with someone that still uses Visual Studio 2005 and refuses to upgrade to the same as everyone else, meaning the first hour or 2 looking at their work on your own machine consists of fixing bugs that prevent it from building

Is it better to buy a cheap laptop and work by remote connecting to a powerful PC, or to just buy a powerful laptop?

context:
I like playing video games, I also sometimes program using Visual Studio + Unity which is also pretty heavy. Because of this I know I need a powerful machine.

my thoughts:
Now I could buy a "gaming" laptop, It's portable (useful for LAN-parties) but it's expensive and doesn't last as long as a PC.

I could also buy a powerful PC with a cheap used laptop, I could do most work on this laptop and if I need to do something more powerful I could remote to my PC.
But this would require internet at all times and i'm worried that working over remote might not be the smoothest experience.

I was so close to getting my macOS virtual machine fully working on my Razer Blade... But then I discovered that something with OpenGL/GLX doesn’t work properly, so I can’t use any graphics-heavy applications until I somehow figure out what’s wrong 😞

Just got myself a Pixelbook and man is this thing a sweet little machine! Excellent battery life, a pretty decent backlit keyboard and I can work on my personal project using VSCode and the integrated debugger!

Google is doing a good job with making Chromebooks developer friendly.

Just ordered a 15 inch Mac book pro (2017) as my main devlopment machine.

I never could work on Windows machine, so my choices were limited. Hope MBP lives up to the hype. 😅

How to switch from linux to windows?

There is a lot of discussion online how to switch in a opposite way, but none on my case. As I am switching jobs, I will have to work using a windows machine. Any tips on how to feel more at home?

So I have finally decided to integrate Trello with the small internal CRM app I built for my work. Everything seems well on my Linux dev machine.

And now when I try to update our app at our server, I realized our server only has php5.6 and I need php7.1 and our server is windows. :3

Lucky today is Thursday.

Hope everything is done before the last bus to home. 🙏🙏🙏

It's my last week at my job. They have decent pay and great work life balance but the work is boring and uninspiring.

Leaving for a F500 company. The pay is insane and I've been warned the workload matches. The upcoming projects are interesting, and I've hit the next engineering level!

I'm still crazy anxious and feeling that imposter syndrome hard. I've only ever worked in small startups, and I've always been "The Guy", now I'll be a cog in the machine of incredibly smart people.

Just trying to get this off my chest, because right now I don't know what I'm doing...

My key ring :)

An old friend (remember the guy who had a miniature Red hat?), gave me an old RAM from a work machine (he worked in data center team).

We had many spare ones so, I picked one and been using it since then.

Photo in comments because dR is fucking up the resolution.

Just because Elon Musk is acting like a horse let loose in a hospital over at Twitter does not suddenly give all employers the right to treat us like animals. I will not give you double the work performance for the same amount you agreed to pay me. I will give you the bare minimum and until you pay me more, you will not get more, and even then, what makes you think I will give you more? I rather work less hours a week rather than continue contributing to keeping the corporate machine running just so that you can stuff you and your shareholder's pockets rather than helping your employees, who by the way are your customers too! Why be loyal to you when corporations are not loyal in return?!

#CorporateCringe

Was working on Windows 10 laptop with SSD.
Put to sleep mode n went for lunch.
Came back, switched on, blue screen.
Restarted, can not boot.
Opened back panel, removed ssd, connected to other machine with cable, did not detect. Shit, my 1tb SSD is gone.
Took out old rusty 128gb SSD, reformatted it.
Downloaded windows 10 bootloader on USB n reinstalled windows.
From my backed up choco script, reinstalled all apps.
Back to work.

Work is slow these days.
I am done with the projects.
Everyone's away for summer.
I cannot do/install stuff because I don't have admin rights in my machine.
I cannot view all the webpages due to netwrok policies/certificates.
I am waiting for time to pass and go home.
😕😕😕

Our help desk person set up our software in a virtual machine on some cloud provider and you know how they give you a drive labeled temporary with a text file in warning you how the files will get deleted? Well for some reason they put the database files on that drive.

Luckily the server was for a small internal project and restarted a few days in so the users didn't loose too much work.

Development: we need Nginx installed on *insert server list*
Me: ok, let me get in tough with the platform team.
Platform team: This should be installed in the userspace, Unix teams don't support this.

And here I am, trying to get a reverse proxy running on servers on which I do not have sudo rights.
Since it doesn't work, it's my fault, both sides block the door.
I installed it locally on a virtual machine, but the compiled or installed code doesn't work once copied.
The joy of being an "application engineer". This job title means nothing!

Si I live in México, and a big university is giving this 8 day course on machine Learning and automated robotics and I was accepted!! And I'm super pumped, because I really want to work in the industry and love taking any posible oportunity to learn something new.
This also is a perfect excuse to travel to Guadalajara and get all of my questions about the university answerd
There it is, I just wanted to be excited somewhere else xd