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First new job impression;
Me: you use Ubuntu as well? Nearly everyone does Linux here I see!
Co-worker: yup!
Me: So no windows?
CW: nahh, we want stuff that's fixable if it gets fucked. *mentions some things about windows*
Other co-worker: (obviously referring to windows) hey no swearing in here!
😄😅😆
I like it there!33 -
Last month: Opening devrant
Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, FUCK FACEBOOK, ZUCKED ME, KILL MARKBOOK, ATTACK FACEBERG
Last week: Opening devrant
GDRP, GDRP, GGEEDDEERRPPPEEEEE, FUCK GDRP, YEEEY GDRP, WHY GDRP, UPDATED OUR GDRP, FUCKED MY GDRP, PEED IN MY GDRP
this week: Opening devrant
Microsoft, Github, NO Microshit, Burn Github, FUCK GITHUB, POO ON MY MICROHUB, VOMITED ON MY GITSOFT
next week:????
(Google, you better be ready, it's your turn)25 -
At work today.
Collegue: hey, if you continue like this, you'll be just like me in a year or so!
Me: as, so completely fucked up?
Boss: hahaha rekt!
C: okay gotta give you that one 🤣
Love those random moments :)2 -
Windows: I need to update
Me: Fuck off I'm doing an assignment
Windows: Nah mate I need to update like right fucking now
Me: For fucks sake, go on then, but if you take longer than 30mins I'll delete you again
Windows: *Updating 25% done*
Windows: *Reboots*
*Grub rescue screen*
Me: Hello?
Windows: ...
Me: ...
Me: You fucking cunt
21 -
I am really sorry to inform you guys that I fucked up the notifications of v1.3.1. You might not have noticed it but it doesn't update the notifications correctly sometimes.
I would urge the existing users to update the app to v1.3.3 which is the most stable version right now.
16 -
Imagine being a gitlab employee scrolling through devRant being the reason for 90% of todays rants6
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You know you're fucked when google returns less than a page of results on your short three word query. The first result is the only question on SO related to your problem un-answered for two years and the rest of them are in Chinese or Russian.9
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Wanted to make a python script that makes a file, deletes it, make another one with incremented title, deletes it and so on.
Fucked something up and ended up with ~20k files before ending the script few seconds later.
Gotta love the ideas you get in the middle of the night
4 -
You know the world is fucked up when you can post a picture of your dinner on Facebook and it gets fifty likes, but when you post about something important, like software and hardware freedom is gets one like.5
-
HTTP return codes cheat sheet :
1** : Hold on
2** : Here you go
3** : Go away
4** : You fucked up
5** : I fucked up5 -
My work mate just sent this, it made me feel better:
"If you ever have a day when you fucked up badly, made a huge mistake and you feel like a total kluts, click this link: https://google.com/maps/... and feel happy in that you didn’t fuck up bad enough for it to show on google earth!"
😇
11 -
Internship has taught me that as long as you know one good language then you can do anything in other language with a little bit help from online.
Unless it's c++.
c++ has pointer.
That means you're fucked.
That also means you're in for a lot of fun.9 -
Monday Status Report:
Production: Fucked,
Dev: Super Fucked,
Deliverables due today: Extra Fucked,
Phone: Ultra Fucked (rant brought to you today by Chrome ext),
Car 1: Mega Fucked,
Car 2: Slightly Fucked,
Jeep: Completely Fucked,
House: Copiously Fucked,
Today: FUCK7 -
On a french TV show:
Animator: So Jean-Pierre what do you do in life?
Jean-Pierre: well, I'm a computer ingineer
A: Oh, so you're the guy we call when the printer is fucked?
JP: Absolutely not, I'm the one who make programs and softwares that don't work, so they call us again
Literally me 😂1 -
A developer's worst nightmare is having amnesia.
Imagine being an expert in 6 programming languages and you suddenly lost your memory.
YOU'RE IN DESTINATION FUCKED ALREADY.5 -
I hate it when people don't want to work for themselves and when I share something for their knowledge
"Wow what pro", "Dude you're so smart" etc in a sarcastic manner.
Dude wtf, you don't want to improve yourself then fuck off. You're there because of yourself not because I fucked it up for you.
You reap what you sow and i don't need people discrediting my effort to get to where I am today. I get it, I'm not even what you would call "pro", So what shitface?! I wanna be there someday. If you don't then just die. I don't need people like you in my life 😬😬😬7 -
When you remember code from last night in the middle of your day and you know exactly where you fucked up.3
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'rona virus working from home thug life.
MS Teams, several people including my PM, my company's sales lead, and the top brass from the client.
Sharing my center monitor with some technical documents etc.
A wild messenger message appears from my wife with the contents, "I'm gonna come home for lunch and fuck you sideways."
I'd put the amount of time it took me to mouse up there and flick that thing off the screen at about 900 miliseconds.
How fucked (in addition to sideways) am I?
Tl;dr ~ Fucked my wife. Fucked my life.11 -
1: Man did you see the latest windows build fucked up design?
2: What are you mean?
1: I MEAN NOT ALIGNING REFRESH BUTTON ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU PRESS IT.
2: What??? Where???
5 -
You know that you have fucked up another night when you are browsing devrant and your phone turns off the soft-color-night-mode because the sun has infact rise.
Fuck my life, another fucked up night and following day2 -
Ummmmm sorry windows but I think you might have fucked up while “counting”.. the drive isn’t even 4TB to start.
I’m really confused how this could occur lol
10 -
Did you hear of the story of the fucked up data migration at the british bank TSB? People can't access their money for a week now. And people see the accounts of other bank custumers. The CEO had to call IBM for help.
https://theguardian.com/business/...3 -
One of my colleague is in trouble... He yelled "I don't give a fuck " in a zoom meeting. He told me he thought his mic was muted.
No is not. You fucked up.10 -
Fucking fuck you fucking fucked up fuckery.
I got fired and signed mortgage at the same day. Well looks like next two months going to be fun.
Time to get drunk.20 -
I hate it when you CTRL-Z half way, try to fix the problem from that point and realise you fucked up. Try CTRL-Zing more and realise you fucked up your chances to get to the point you wanted :). Every single time.6
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You are asked by airport security to balance this binary tree to prove you're a programmer. How fucked are you?
12 -
When you spent the whole day programming in Swift and your mom says that she fucked up her windows 7 machine and you gotta make a clean install (I hate fixing stupid mistakes made by non tech users)
18 -
OK. FUCK YOU REACT-ROUTER AND YOUR FUCKED UP "SHOULD BE STRAIGHT FORWARD" IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND DOCUMENTATION AND HALF BAKED EXAMPLES OF INCONSISTENT VERSIONS.
FUCK YOU WITH A TRUCK INSIDE YOUR BITCH ASS12 -
You know you're fucked when even the lead dev can't think of a decent solution for your problem which is...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
... the most difficult challenge devs have ever faced:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
What should be the name of the github repo for the new module?3 -
I hate bullshit metrics, they are everywhere.
- 90% unlimited downloads (not unlimited then is it, dickface)
- you are 53% more likely to be noticed with a pro account (yeah, because you fucked with the algorithms)2 -
Dear devRant,
I know you will hate me if I do this, so please set me straight,
I have urges...
Urges to create my own, fucked up flavor of markdown....
and worse yet.....
to make it a JavaScript templating engine.................
and publish it to NPM......................
I know you can do it. You can stop me before I commit this atrocity.12 -
Trying to understand someone else’s undocumented fucked code is as frustrating as taking a shit and the water slashing up at you.4
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So after you fucked your Ubuntu installation last year because you decided to `chmod -R 777 /` you are telling me that you did the same to /home and /var/lib because the former intern "told you so"?!?!
How can someone be SO FUCKING STUPID??
Fuck...
My boss ladies and gentleman...3 -
2 situations when you are equally fucked :
1. It should have failed here, why is it passing?! 😯
2. It should have passed here, why is it failing?! 😯 -
Those SEO guys that believe they are some kind of web Gods for building a real crap over WP with a $50 theme and fucking Visual Composer (the most fucked up piece of shit ever) and then ask you to just "optimize" their bloated site so they can get a great score on PageSpeed Insights.
NO.
No way I'm gonna put my hands on that *thing*.6 -
Whenever I'm trying new tech at work I don't keep interrupting people ta help me with error messages because ITS A FUCKING NEW TECH AND NO ONE WORKS WITH THAT SHIT!
WHY THE FUCK YOU KEEP ASKING ME FOR HELP WITH YOUR FUCKED UP NODE SHIT AFTER I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T LIKE IT? STOP IT!3 -
This is my worst day ever just formatted my laptop and forgot to backup my Android keystore........😤😤😬 Just visited stack overflow only to learn that without the keystore you can't make updates for your app.I will never update my apps on playstore now.... Shit. Am fucked totally...👹👹10
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Client: But why is it so expensive to host a website? I mean you could host Wordpress on a cheap like 10$/month webspace, right?
Inner me: Bitch, you have a fucked up Symfony 2.1 website that only runs on PHP 5.3 plus a Wordpress site, with a lot of updates not done, plus you have a huge traffic at peak times, like once a week
Me: Well you know, the services you are running require a lot of resources...3 -
You know a Repo is fucked when you have to rely on global text search to find and rename symbols like method or class names.4
-
rant
fuck you whatapp for not formatting the links properly and not displaying the entire links
I lost my referral bonus due to this 😥
*It did displayed it properly on the WhatsApp web version but it fucked up on the phone version*
see for yourself people,
9 -
If your code does not compile, because you inserted a dot instead of a comma or vice versa, you fucked up a bit3
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My company's build engine is like a shopping cart with two fucked up wheels. Yeah, it works if you pop a wheelie with it...but should you really have to?
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So yesterday evening I was going to play some games. Checked NVIDIA and saw new update (no beta). So I went to install it and it literally fucked up my graphics card.
One monitor stopped working instantly and the other one got this old tv effect like when you had no signal.
Took me two hours to downgrade to my old drivers because I couldn't fucking see shit.
PLS NVIDIA DONT PUSH NEW DRIVERS IF YOU FUCKIN NOT TESTED THEM
11 -
Dear IT,
STOP FUCKING RESETTING SERVERS AT 9PM AT NIGHT, WHEN DEV PRODUCTIVITY IS AT IT'S EPITOME!!!!
DO YOU EVEN FUXKING UNDERSTAND THAT IT TAKES 20 MINUTES TO GET ALL THE SERVICES BACK FUCKING UP? ALL THE FOCUS BUILT UP, GONE IN A FLASH BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS TILL LATER.
sincerely,
mahaDev,
mind-fucked software engineer.4 -
You dense motherfuxker. There is a reason why we create a separate feature branch, put our code there, check the CI and THEN merge that to master. The whole reason of merge feature to master is that the CI DOES NOT GET FUCKED UP! You never keep committing your feature changes directly to master. THAT'S HOW YOU FUCK THE CI UP.9
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To the recruiter who "got me an interview," that you knew was 5 hours away for me, on a Saturday, at 9am. I hope you get fucked by a leper horny bear! General recruiting drives from 9-5 are not interviews! I could have shown up anytime, and O was not even qualified! You lied to them about me, and they politely told me to fuck off! FUCK YOU!4
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Once you realize your server is hacked, just disconnect the ssh and forget about it. It is known as Schrodinger defense.
The server will be both okay and fucked at the same time until someone get back into the server.1 -
Hypothetical survey:
Ctrl + s still saves your work but at the same time it pushes to production. How fucked are you?11 -
You know that the mobile ecosystem is completely fucked when you have to open up your device just to do a hard power cycle.. and what for? What's the fucking difference between a connector inside of the device, and one that's outside the device? A couple of cubic millimeters? If it's even that much?
17 -
Did you fucking idiots think that I was gonna tell you to implement async await on the requests and not notice that you IMPLWMENTED GODDAMN SYSTEM-SLEEP YOU DESNE MOTHERFUCKEDS IT NOT TAKES 10X AS LONG AS MY OATCH TO JUST LIMIT THE NUMBER IF HTTP REQUESTS FOR FUCJS SAKE THIS CODE LOONS LIKE A RACCOON FUCKED AN MACBOOK THAT ALSO GOT FUCKED BY A GOAT FROM CHERNOBYL THAT SOMEHOW MUTATED TO A RACCOON GOAT 🐐 MACBOOK 💻 HYBRID ABOMINATION THAT IS NOW CLAWING MY EYES OUT AND GIVING ME RABIESCANCERAIDS5
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So I dont know if this has been brought here already but I was busy lately with an oncoming amount of users of my site... and they found a few bugs, anyway me sucking aside:
To my fellow American DevRant users, how do you guys feel when you are about to get fucked by the posibility of get Net Neutrality in your country? Man what is going there sure is a tragicomedy, uh?
24 -
Nopes. Not worth it. I still drink to get a lil tipsy and enjoy beer and liquor.
But after you land in the hospital due to alcohol poisoning and you beg the nurse to kill you to stop the suffering you NEVER want to be drunk again.
Damn near 8 years sober and without a hangover. When I was in the hospital I vow to never be put in that position.
Nope nope nope nope and more nope.
Being high af feels fucked up as well. Don't know why people would subject themselves to all this bullshit.19 -
YOU FUCKING FUCK PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT XCODE I FUCKING WISH YOU DISAPPEAR FROM THIS FUCKED UP WORLD!
What I did:
1. Scroll right on "Magic Mouse"
2. Profit! (XCode crash!)5 -
!!inspiration to rant
To all people who feel lonely at smoochentinesday: 😘
Get your most EPIC, FUCKED UP or IMPRESSIVE dev-related story out and rant it on here!
The comments will help you to get over it, you poor, lonely, grievy flower. 😉
Happy valentines-slay!9 -
These moronic idiots wrote a scientific paper, and did not bother explaining the acronym they've used. 😐
https://sciencedirect.com/science/...
How am I supposed to know which fuckin CART it means? Huh? Who the fuck told you that was acceptable? Also fig 3 can get fucked too.
Your approach seemed interesting for all of two whole fuckin seconds before you fucked it with your unscientific explanation of your results in SIXTEEN FUCKING DIGITS after zero. Fuck you and fuck this and fuck that. Am I clear?
... The straw that broke the camel's back. 😑14 -
Last night my boss played with our access points in the warehouse for a client, he messed something up and they stopped working.
I asked a person from our service to fix them
Service: he fucked something up again?
Me: yup
S: can you fix them?
M: yup
S: then why ask me?
M: it's not my job 😂
He swapped them, and got mad. -
See, static typing? that shit is for putos. You think you're so cool with your advanced intellisense being able to tell you "yo....dat shit ain't the type you think it is" or your compiler telling you "yo dumbass, you fucked this parameter up in here, you are doing <x> when in reality you should be doing #@$@#$@!<X at line !@#@#$#>"
pfffft static typing. Such a pansy ass thing to worry about.
Picture us, working outside of the safety net of static typing, as jungle explorers, walking slowly, with a machete in hand and our other hand clutched tightly at our hip pistol, not knowing what to shoot at, but eagerly prepared for when shit fucks up because whatever the fuck you did was not properly safeguarded by a compiler to tell you that you fucked up, even if the compiler message is unintelligible (looking at you C and C++)
We is men here, we is brave retarded adventurers.
As our sanity blips into oblivion and we look at our code that has no sort of type checking expecting our shitty intellisense extensions to protect us....
Edit: if you can't understand the sarcasm in here and the plea for sanity then you are obviously a retard and have no place in the world of development21 -
You know what is fucked up, when you click on a YouTube video to watch a trailer for a movie and you see an ad just before that for the exact motherfucking movie trailer just in local language. Wtf Google.18
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Dear Boss
Would you.
Fucking.
PLEASE.
Stop.
Moving.
The Standup.
Time.
You've fucked around with the meeting time eight times since the end of Jan. Figure your schedule out, pick a time for our daily shit, and stick to it dude. PLEASE.
I'm a family man and you're making my mornings absolute hell to plan for.
Signed,
me.5 -
And this is how to read a book in Visual Studio at work so everyone thinks you are in some really fucked up configuration xml.... :))))))) Thanks xmlrant.com and jsrant.com for ideas
1 -
Put random text in window.alert() where ever I got error in JavaScript code. Random text like 1) If you see this, you are fucked; 2) error 001; 3)why today; 4) the code is breaking here etc.
And never removed them. They are the running in production till now. I am just thankful to the gods that the code Nevers break and the user does not get browser alert and also the fact that I don't work there anymore.4 -
Ranting here , about our fucked up life is like talking to a cat. You don't know if they are listening, you don't know if they care, but for some reason, it still helps ...3
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Google -> Niantic -> shit
Hate them for biting off more than they can chew, they successfully fucked up two of their games, now they are launching the third one.. Can you just fix the stuff you fucked up before you continue with new stuff?? Okithxbye9 -
PHP ist one of the languages I use regularly, but not the main language.
Anyhow, passing an array to a function will create a Copy of the array unless you specifically choose to Pass the reference.
That's seriously fucked up. What other language does that?! Coming from C, Java, Python to PHP I was not prepared to expect shit like that.
23 -
Writing the new software dev test for our incoming interview process.
Me: And here is where we ask them to parse HTML with regex.
Lead developer: You are fucked up and the villain of this movie, multiverse and everything in between, fk u.
CMS Admin: And I thought Palpatine was evil. That is legit fucked up, fk u.16 -
Too everyone who said Europe is DOOMED too due too the recent Lisa of Net Neutrallity,
GO SUCK A BIG FUCKING DICK! AND AFTER THAT GET A ROPE AND FUCKING KILL YOURSELF! AMERICANS FUCKED UP!
AND YOU ALSO CAN GET A COCKFUCKED VPN IF YOUR NOT STUPID ENOUGH!
9 -
Please, oh please, tell me there's an exception for murdering people using their phone in speaker mode right in the middle of an open space.
Please ... I feel like it should count as public service and be rewarded ..
I'm trying to work here, it don't give the slightest flying fuck about the latest crap you dare to call code and how it fucked up your whole application.5 -
Answer honestly: How fucked would you be if someone would send the people you ranted about a link to each rant? (sorry for weird sentence structure, I'm tired)7
-
Sometimes hardest part of being dev is staying calm and trying to explain someone why something is a BAD idea, than see being ignored and just silently prepare fix so when shit goes south you can quick fix shit the other dude/dudette fucked up regardless of number of warnings.
Sigh, another dumpsterfire of this variety incoming.5 -
When you and your superior get done with a project, and your superior almost gets fired so he's panicked and you're like "SEE WHAT I MEAN!!!!"
Previously:"Come on man!! 20 minutes adventure, in and out."
-
It gets really irritating when I get turned down for jobs because, despite provable experience, I don't have a degree in computer science.
I can't go back to college because one of the colleges I was at lost my transcripts. And here, by law, the college you are applying to must have your entire transcript history before admitting you.
So I'm fucked and just hoping to find a company focused more on provable knowledge than a piece of paper. Yay.19 -
Since learning electronics I have a new found love for fixing peoples printers:
Now I actually look at it before saying "yep it's fucked! Better get a new one, do you want me to toss the old one for you?"
I'm now only one rail away from having a cnc machine.1 -
Quick rant!!
Deadline in 2 days, working with a team.
Me: yo ! , How's the xyz feature? Is it working now?
Teammate: yah, made it work yesterday.
Me: epic! Can you present it to me?
Teammate: wtf, it's not working today!!
Me: no worries, you can sort it out!
Teammate: the latest release you worked on doesn't work properly.
Me: yah, merged code fucked up, I'm fixing that, I'll push a fix today.
And the cycle continues... -
You will realize that your life is fucked up when you write ' <i class="fa fa-laptop"></i>' in devRant instead of using emoji(💻).3
-
Sometimes you need someone to be your /dev/null with whom you can talk about all that fucked up shit going on in your mind.
Thank you /dev/null -
Dear "Create a web API with ASP.NET Core" official MS tutorial:
you betrayed me. I came to you like an innocent child and you fucked me over, you abused my trust, forcing me to follow insane instructions leading to no result other than the loss of my childhood and my day.
I feel like a child raped by some perv-priest or monster father.
I had a soul ready for a space walk,
and now I have just a hole full of your cock1 -
Day 2 in ComSci class (following my last rant)
"Okay, so! All of the schoolwork and homework will be done on paper and pen, submit and I will grade it. Only once, no second chance"
Okay. Okay. This went over my head. What are you gonna do? OCR the code into the compiler, compile it and run to see if we fucked up to give us an F? What are you, god? Here's a brilliant idea, teach them Assembly! Guaranteed error to give us Fs! FUCK YOU3 -
WATCH WHAT YOU CLONE!!!
I spent 2 days of stack overflow, assistance, mental counselling, 5 stages of depression ... just to realize I had cloned half the project because of a stupid, useless, fucked up branch that had the balls to call itself MASTER!!!!! arrggg!!!!!7 -
The performance is based on how much code you wrote that day.
Not mine though, i heard/read it from somewhere else.
But that’s fucked up, right?20 -
FUCK YOU DIGITAL OCEAN!
I know, I fucked up because I lost my backup codes, but tell me, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU ANSWER AN EMAIL THAT IVE BEEN SENDING SINCE THREE WEEKS AGO?
You motherfuckers12 -
A rant partially inspired by our favorite angry German.
Are you fucking serious? Why the fuck even publish the stories to your fucking website if you're just going to beg me to download your shitty app?
Why don't you download yourself getting fucked by a chainsaw? Now THAT I'd download you fucking assholes.
2 -
PHP + gettext + Windows
Get fucked you ginganormous cockfaced dick wiggle. Get the fucking fucked in your fucking fuck hole. Fucker.2 -
It's not always your fault, sometimes your code will be perfectly fine and shit still won't work because someone else fucked up. Be careful which libraries you choose to work with.
-
When you want only 10 rows of query result.
Mysql: Select top 10 * from foo.... 😁
Sql server: select top 10 * from foo.. 😁
PostgreSQL: select * from foo limit 10.. 😁
Oracle: select * from foo FETCH NEXT/FIRST 10 ROWS ONLY. 🌚
Oracle, are you trying to be more expressive/verbose because if that's the case then your understanding of verbosity is fucked up just like your understanding of clean-coding, user experience, open source, productivity...
Etc.6 -
Recently I came across a job advert that literally said:
"If you're still full of ideals and will to work, go look for a job elsewhere!!!"
Man, how fucked up is your company if this is how you promote it? Sad thing is that even though their website looked like shit, they boasted about big government projects there.2 -
Anyone else sometimes feel that coding, programming call it what you want. Has taken over their lives and fucked it up!!!
Some times wish I never started this shit. But can't stop, it's like an addiction.7 -
Some people get ego boost when they get positions like team lead or manager for software development team. In a nutshell you don't know shit about programming how the fuck you became tech lead? You fucked up the entire project that you managed and now shifting blame on someone else. Well fuck you!9
-
You know your codebase is fucked beyond restoration when a one-dimensional array is indexed using two indices and this formula.
FUCK.
8 -
Not only did my boss insist on setting up roles and permissions for our app how he designed them, even after I spent 4 or 5 hours trying to convince him to let me do it differently, but he has now fucked our entire system.
Under this model of roles and permissions you cannot enforce them on the backend by any means, and now we have a service dealing with users including resetting passwords and changing details that does not use authentication. That's right, aurhe tocation and not even talking about authorization now. Good job.
I honestly wish companies like this would get hacked and fucked over as soon as they did it wrong because I can't believe how retarded some people are.3 -
Wow so my graphics drivers got fucked up in windows 10 and there's no way to boot into safe mode - because microsoft, being the intelligent beings that they are, decided to remove the option to boot into safe mode on bootup. Instead now you can only enter safe mode through the <b><u>GUI!!!</u></b>. unbelievable....13
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That moment when you must pull an all-nighter, but realize that you're out of coffee. And Mate. And Redbull. Basically anything energetic. That's when you realize you're fucked. 😓5
-
Creator of the react router:
If you ever see this, you created one of the greatest library with one of the worst documentation ever.
And don't get me started with versions. In every single versions, you break everything so badly and nothing works anymore.
Everytime I need to do something related to react router, I just fucking roll on the floor and cry. Documentation is fucked up.
It's totally fucked up. In the github there's one documentation, in the website there's a different. At the end, nothing works.
Please, if you want to create a nice library like this, maintain it. If you can't maintain it, mark it as deprecated and someone will take over.
But keeping something like this and making it absolutely inconsistent doesn't help. I am really tired of debugging bugs related to react-router2 -
It's sometimes really anxiety inducing thinking that all data could be gone, if somebody decides to kill/discontinue/crash [see gitlab shitting 6 hours of data due to fucked backup strategy and shitty seperation of servers] your account/service, be it server, git-repos, backups, chrome syncs, games, music, sim card, ..
But there's simply no way of having a backup of absolutely everything (ignore DRM) - especially automated and abstracted away from you, so you don't have to do all that shit yourself13 -
brainfuck - your next programming language. A simple tutorial
Sample 1:
-[------->+<]>.-[->++++<]>.++[--->++<]>.+++.+++++++.+[->+++<]>.--[--->+<]>-.+[->+++<]>+.+.[--->+<]>-.----.+++[->+++<]>++.+++++++++++++.++++++.[++>---<]>.++[--->++<]>.++[->++<]>.[--->+<]>+++.[--->+<]>-----.--[->++++<]>+.----------.++++++.--[->+++++<]>.
Output: "I love devrant. Do you?"
Sample 2:
----[---->+<]>++.[--->+<]>+++.----------.-[--->+<]>-.--[->++++<]>+.----------.++++++.---.[-->+++++<]>+++.[->+++<]>++.[--->+<]>----.+++[->+++<]>++.++++++++.+++++.-[->+++++<]>-.-[--->++<]>-.++++++++++.+[---->+<]>+++.++[->+++<]>.-[--->+<]>--.+[->+++<]>+.++++++++.------.-.[->+++<]>++.++[--->++<]>.[-->+++++<]>-.+[--->+<]>++.[-->+++++<]>+++.-[--->++<]>-.+++++++++++.[---->+<]>+++.-[--->++<]>-.++++++++++.-----.[++>---<]>++.[->+++<]>-.-[->+++++<]>.
Output: "And your brain is fucked. Or it isn't?"
----------------------
Wanna play with it?
Text to brainfuck: https://copy.sh/brainfuck/text.html
Brainfuck to text:
https://sange.fi/esoteric/...2 -
When you forward an email from your boss to yourself again as a reminder, but add cuss words in because that's how you operate, the recipients list only lists yourself, but it apparently notifies your boss and shit.
Thanks for nothing microsoft.4 -
Dude I want to ask you , It's possible for me to call myself as a software engineer if I always got a cancer when I try to create HTML template ? I'm suck as fuck on front-end, I can't even create a single HTML template even if you give me help with css framework. I don't know what to do with HTML and CSS, they're totally fucked up my life.14
-
BITCH THE APPLICATION WORKS PERFECTLY FINE!!! ITS NOT MY FAULT THE DATA YOU GAVE ME WAS FUCKED UP LIKE YOUR BLOODY FUCKING FACE YOU SHIT HEAD COMPUTER ILLITERATE IN THIS DAY AND AGE SON OF A BITCH1
-
We were documenting a feature which has system wide affect. We’ll be delivering it to customer on Monday.
So we’ve asked the colleague who worked on it about how it works and asked few follow up questions that arise during the documenting. All were good.
Comes Friday when I had a question as some things didn’t add up and I checked the source. To my surprise the very core operation colleague explained us works in exact opposite way. I kid you not in %50 percent of the documentation we ramble about why it was implemented this way since it is faster/safer best practices bla bla.
Moreover we’ve already had some exchange with the customer and we informed(misinformed) them about this core operation...
Also changing the behavior will reduce the overall speed as it will cause extra branchings. Other option is to rewrite the documentation and inform(re-convince) the customer. If it was me I wouldn’t trust us anymore but we’ll see.
I really don’t know what to say about this fucker why would you say something if you’re not sure of it or why the fuck you didn’t confirm in the last 3 weeks....
Anyway we have a meeting on Monday morning to discuss how to proceed, that’s gonna be fun!1 -
To any CEOs that berade there employees for only getting something 99% correct even though the team is less than 3 weeks old, FUCK YOU. That shit is not motivating and you just fucked up any motivation your employees had for being excited to build your product.3
-
You know you fucked up when you have to finish your code for the 8 am and you are drunk in the street, point for me (sorry for the back bad English, I'm drunk and my language is the Spanish)1
-
>>"Oh we're more like family here and we like to have people join our family style instead of setting strict rules and punishing people " == "You'll stay late everyday and you won't be paid any extra hours and you'll be ass fucked with impossible deadlines unless you could fondle the managers balls"
True
>> -
I’m really struggling to see WHY IN THE HELL it was necessary to delete my FUCKING NETWORK PROFILES to update this FRUIT FUCKED ALUMINUM SHIT BOX!
How did they test this and be like, oh, yea, you can’t connect automatically to ANY of the WiFi networks you have saved, because we deleted all the network profiles. That is acceptable, it won’t cause anyone any real problems.
Sure you need to update some shit. But why are you even touching that part of the disk? Damn you filthy lying fruit fuckers! -
You know what the worst type of screwups are? Those that have already happened but you don't know about yet.
There you are, coasting along, thinking everything's OK, blissfully unaware that you're fucked. And no matter what you do, you're still fucked. -
See? And you were worried it would take our jobs away from us. It's still got a lot to learn!
I mean, you, developers, are fucked. It's us, Performance Engineers, whose asses are safe
15 -
Yo designer listen, you have made a design with a font the size of 49px and I created it even smaller like 45px and you are still complaining that I'm the one that fucked up??? You should learn to design a proper website!! With webfonts for fucks sake!! And get your margin even!!!3
-
TIL that you can plug a mouse and keyboard into a Samsung phone and use it to interact with it like you would your finger. Now before you say this is such a useless feature, because of this, I was able to recover my backup from my screen shattered phone (really fucked it up so touch quit working) , and transfer it to another phone in a matter of minutes. To whoever thought of this, thank you so much :).1
-
I need to setup a Windows Server with an AD (and therefore an own domain) that can be reached from a Linux host for a test environment... Holy crap I totally forgot what a huge pain in the ass that crap is!
Pro Tip: If youre connected to a Server via VPN and RDP and you create a domain and subsequently get logged out from the server, you're fucked.2 -
Some days I'm really not sure if I'm a developer or everybody's general problem solver because I'm an engineer and can think critically about your site configuration THAT YOU SHOULD BE ADMINISTERING YOURSELF!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
"Doesn't work, must be the dev."
Wrong. You misconfigured something and fucked it up. Figure it out yourself - actually read the error message right in front of your face - and don't waste my time.5 -
I think I fucked up today's interview. Opening with non-technical questions really threw me off kilter.
"What happened the last time you conflicted with another team member?"
IDK, ask me what "static" means in C# or just let me solve "FizzBuzz".4 -
When you need to work with the register of your microcontroller but you fuck up the addresses. I wasted so much time looking at my code to figure out what I'm doing wrong. I tried everything, looked up the datasheet again on how to initialize everything and in the end I fucked up the fucking register addresses. Three addresses had, at the offset, one 0 instead of two.
I never felt so dumb in my life -
Bug raised: "Please investigate these CRTICAL issues immediately, the system is not working properly"
Translation: "We're too stupid to use our own system, the system that we created the specification for. Please re-educate us and explain that these are not actually issues (immediately). But we're gonna CC every motherfucker in the company so they KNOW you fucked up and the pressure is on you to fix it, bitch! Huehuehuehue"3 -
Ever have one of those moments where you're running a service you built to update about a decade worth of police records, realize about halfway through that you fucked the loop and you're copying data from the first record onto every other record, and then just really wish that you had checked things better in test before running this on the prod server?
I'm sure the only reason I'm still here is because the audit log contained the original values and I'm good at pulling data out of it.1 -
Fuck Arch wifi handling!!! Why can’t you fucking just have the needed software in the base package!!! Because when you take YOU FUCKING USB INSTALLATION SOMEWHERE THERE’S NO ETHERNET!!! You’re FUCKED!!! What’s the point! Now I need to boot from my lubuntu usb dual boot install, FUCKING INSTALL the Arch iso, VirtualBox and then the needed wifi packages!! Fuck!4
-
Hey hows it going my little cummies?
Have you ever recommended to your boss that a contractor is completely FUCKED in the head and that they are a huge risk to the company and project? Because I’m this 👌👌👌 fucking close to just roasting this imbecile in the tech group chat 😤 I’m wondering if I should do it11 -
What is the most sadistic thing you have done as a developer? What ways have you intentionally fucked up other people with your code/projects?4
-
Man, I love how G++ (and every other Gnu tool for that matter) makes 0 effort to understand what you fucked up, and they only tell you where they got stuck. What am I supposed to do with this error that doesn't contain a single reference to my project?
7 -
So once again if you want to buy a Google branded Chromebook and you aren't in the centre of the universe that is America you're shit out of luck...
To get last year's pixelbook that is $999 US in Australia I have to fork out $3000, no word on importing the pixel slate but as always America is the greatest, you get everything and everywhere else can get fucked I guess....
Why can't tech companies just realise that other countries want things too?!5 -
Again found myself before deadline. My excuse? I'm more productive during the deadline rush :D
How everyone else sees it: you fucked up
What do I say to myself: never again!!!
```
sleep(until_next_deadline);
goto begining_of_this_post;
``` -
the moment you realize you need to plug a GPT chatbot as your support guy... is the moment when you should realize you fucked up your UX
hello, youtube!2 -
How fucked are you if someone mistakenly deletes the codebase for Nodejs, reactjs, npm, vuejs, angularjs?21
-
No... like seriously, how do you pronounce Elon Musk child's name?
=> X AE A-XII
I think that kid is fucked!11 -
Our company has a giant folder that you have to download every release. It contains all of the dependencies within the company and every config file.
Twice a month your workspace gets fucked...BECAUSE THESE FUCKING GENIUSES CANNOT USE FUCKING MAVEN! What the fuck?! What idiot came up with this stupid idea?1 -
Swear work is where you I go to fix other peoples poor design decisions and clean up the bullshit that comes out of said decisions.
CANT!
BE!
FUCKED!
How you have so many years experience and still design in way that ensures that maintenance /improvements/touching in the future is a huuugggeee clusterfuck.
Hey, I got an idea, lets make this whole data warehouse without a single index or primary key cos you know, that's the Kimball Method.2 -
Dude. Listen.
The deployment didn't go 100% well, fine. The main menu got fucked up, fine.
But no one gives a fuck when you send an 15 words long email to 6 persons just whining about the fact that no delivery go well on the first try.
Learn to shut the fuck up sometimes. -
Sometimes you want to scream but you can't,
sometimes you want speak about how fucked up this society that we live in is... how the fundamental concepts of our lifes are wrong... How some things just don't work in the present... but there is no one who would listen to you... and even if they did, there is nothing they can do to change anything until the whole world listens.13 -
My dumbass fucked up a good interview by looking down on the company I was interviewing for unintentionally (:
They outsourced the "core" finance code to a 3rd party B2B provider and I was like "oooooooooh so y'all are only a wrapper? That explains why you didnt do super-crazy background check on me hahaha"
I ended up sounding suspicious af :'v8 -
why don't they like the interns at work? one little mistake, and you're fucked. everyone thinks you weren't a good choice to work on that team. they think if i'm an intern (and especially - a girl) then i'm dumb... like??? honestly, it makes me feel so bad and i myself start to feel like i'm truly dumb :(8
-
Me: *ranting to my friend who isn’t a dev (but is in IT and a good knowledge of networking) about a problem I came across in my project.
“I don’t know how I’ll send folders”
Him: “just compress it before hand and decompress when it’s sent”
Me: *mind fucked*
Have any of you guys gotten surprisingly good ideas from non programmers?10 -
ah udemy updating their "terms and conditions" on how they do revenue sharing... either the corp or the creator is going to get fucked... can you guess which one?
and no i don't want to read a dumbass letter from your dumbass CEO to find out how your going to fuck me... shame that your org has to hide it that way
just give me the brass tax you robber barons1 -
Just after watching Black Mirror : How fucked would you be, if there was a copy of you, which could give the accessor All information about you? 🤔 There's some really vulnerable secrets to anyone, so yeah, I would be super fucked 😂8
-
Dear Windows,
Why can't you FUCKING remember my choice to "Open folder to view files"? WHY BOTHER asking every single time I plug in a USB if you can't be fucked to remember what I say?? Why is this even an issue?3 -
Fine! If I’m not allowed to make improvements to the site, I’ll blatantly write you shitty code and continue to fuck you over for the future. I tried to help but you guys are fucked.3
-
It's asked before here but need to be questioned again because I'm bored.
Would you rather have fucked a sheep while no one knows or that you didn't do it but everyone is sure you did?
The sheep is average looking with okayish BMI. Looks bit German21 -
I got loads but it all started when I was a wee script kiddy.
I built a virus when I started a simple program to send to people for a laugh. It would send you a message "you are fucked" with a countdown of 30 seconds and it restarts the pc 😳 😎 -
Man...
When you know you can't spend more time in your computer.
Woke up with a fucked knee... Got a fucking arrow in the knee.
Now, I can't walk, I can't sit, looks like a ball...2 -
You comment that the fix is in the latest version, tester creates new task PLUS reopen referring to OLD fucked up VeRSiOn!!!
Which fuckin part of testing the latest/commented/tagged/worklogged/code reviewed/merged/invited/CIed version dont you understand?!?!
3 -
I feel some people are ruining fucking software packages on purpose.
There is a particular editor I'm not going to mention the name of, and when I download it via rpmfusion, part of it that is quite important doesn't work.
when I download it from github it crashes based on an INTERNAL py file not being present that literally was not included in the crap appimage distribution !
Additionally why are you people so fucked up ?
What is wrong with you all ?1 -
Me: hey guys there seems to be an integration problem?
Vendor: hacky workaround
Me: no that’s a hacky workaround, please check the integration
Vendor (sometime later): yeah so we made an engineering change like, a while back, which fundamentally alters stuff.
Me: so shit is fucked because you don’t think customers should be informed ahead of release? Dude do you not want our money? -
Thanks for nothing, Insomnia REST. Everyone using it beware: turn off auto update, version 8.0 will look you out of your projects unless you create an account with them.
Get fucked.4 -
Next motherfucker named Chad that sends me an email with a RE: subject line for recruiting is going to be thrown from a helicopter screaming.
If your name is Chad that's okay, we know you didn't choose your name, but if you're a recruiter named Chad and you are trying to slide into my emails, get fucked.2 -
Its fucked how you can put spf and dkim in place and your legitimate emails are still blocked but yet you can receive viagra emails daily5
-
I hate every non -American in my office who tries to flaunt a stupid fucked up American accent when we are trying to discuss a logical problem. Fuck the accent , do you have a solution you fucked up asshole.3
-
When my teacher says that you have to produce variable lists for each variable in your program, stating the name, type and what they're used for, if you're coding in Java, you know you're fucked with 16 classes of swing GUI...1
-
Troubleshooting in Windows be like - " Well mate, you are fucked. Till the time we run a baseless scan.. relax ,take a deep breath ..Check your internet connection . .. for you are going to have to google the problem and fix it yourself...
-
Fuck this shit! We had bug on website when tinymce was showing broken tables and could not save them correctly. So, the first thing you think about is tinymce is fucked up and you have to either upgrade, downgrade or fix it fucking yourself. Well, I spend more than hour tryingto figure this out. Then I found out that some fucker set column length in DB where data are stored to varchar 800!!! WTF, are you fucking serious?
-
You think you are fucked until you realize that Matt Daemon is lost in mars with win xp.damn you nasa, you cheap bastards! (photo taken by me during the film) no spoilers please, i haven't finished it yet
1 -
Never received a single good specification, just verbal gibberish instructions.
One of the things I got tired of, so I quit.
Suddenly, when the boss realized how fucked they are when I leave in two months and how much he needs me to do before that, starts sending prioritized, well written, well specified documents over new features and existing bugs.
Why didn't you fucking do that from start 😂3 -
Howdy DevRant. Back again, took a year away from social media..
Is this place still fucked? I.e hating on Apple Products and everyone is inferior unless you use Arch + i3.5 -
Hey guys / and girls I've been of the grid as faar as social media is concerned for quiet some time... I assume the IT-world ist still as fucked up as it was when i left?
What happend? (Other than jase creating and deleting N-numbers of Accounts)
Also ist @linuxxx still alive? I just got a certificate error accessing https://linu.xxx
I missed you, devranters... Bring me up to speed18 -
There is a moment in a project where you either tell everybody that they have fucked up everything and a new beginning is necessary... Or you will be the one who's getting fucked in the end as 'the constant warnings and delays were communicated, but not offensive enough to be of major importance.'
-
Anyone else here who needs to deal with GDPR on the software level? I'll go nuts until we're compliant in every aspect.
I've been developing a consent library for the last few days. It even automatically links expressions of explicit consent to current screenshots of the relevant forms (because you need to do that too), and past records are immutable. Well, unless the whole database gets fucked somehow, then it's not.3 -
When you hate every fucking thing on earth and want to kill everyone on this fucked up planet.
That bug didnt fix. Fuck you.
The client needs answer now. Fuck you.
Stackoverflow user marked it as duplicate. Fuck you in particular.
Fuuuuuuuccckkkkkkkkkk every fucking asshole. -
That moment you realise you fucked up, but don't have the courage to tell your team leader that you fucked up.. Especially when you're atleast 30% into a project.1
-
Got sacked with no savings and safety nets like family to rely on. The industry in Australia is fickle at the best of times.. Now I'm well fucked.
How has the pandemic fucked you over, folks?2 -
!dev
I swear YouTube's recommendations are fucked. I watch one fantano review of a song that just dropped and YouTube is over here like
"hey, do you want to see what EVERYONE thought of that track?"2 -
How fucked up are you,
when your vp of engineering doesn't even know how to show phpinfo webpage to test server setup.
and..
change ode directly in production server,
then messed up and using excuse :
" I don't know because i am a frontend developer "
Then why you become a VP of Engineer !3 -
you know I've watched a lot of people waste their lives.
all the warm and fuzzy sentimentality I grew up to gone out the window, the subject of ownership and personal possession disrespected to the point that robot people just fucked their only chances of being anything but machines.
its fun.
just like when you people duplicate my past posts on here.11 -
At the office
5 website is down !
Searching for answer ... Noting. Nginx is calm, php is calm, DB to many connections :O but the DB is interne acces only !!!
Internal ddos WTF
Drupal 8 website -> sorry guy i just fucked up and write 8Go of useless log in watchdog table because something went wrong
Actual log : %errormessage %errortime %vardump
Me : damm he fucked up and cannot write some complet log 🤣
Do you know some module to limit this table size and write acces ?2 -
Trying to figure out why your code won't work after you fixed it, only to find that the offshore team completely fucked everything back up again 😵3
-
You know what's fucked up a part of debugging? Preparing a fucking word "report" document, in which the table wouldn't align properly.
Seriously, I hate my university's grading criteria. They ask first to send 'weekly reports', and after internship ask for 'final report' which consists the same fucking thing. -
Do you guys ever use the windows 10 app store ?
It's fucked up, loading most of the time, can't correctly install a simple app ..9 -
YOU wouldn't believe how ridiculously easy to make OriginalContent for devRant! 100% WORKING
#MISSING_OLD_RANTS #MY_OLD_RANT
TL;DR; - Clickbait for my rant about not working youtube search...
which fucked me up, so i wrote this rant for about 1,5 hours... this maybe shows how fucked up i'm
Anyways...I'm missing old rants, and i hate the "new wave" with the 9gag CTRL+C, CTRL+V...
So who else loves the 'old times devRants', can join and tell THEIR rants ;)
https://devrant.com/rants/2251822/...4 -
When something worked perfectly yesterday and now it’s just fucked up without touching anything:
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
(Love The Way You Lie - Eminem)1 -
Seriously, wtf give the work to someone else, claiming that "I'm too busy to do this", when all that other person does is come asking you for help, and not only do you have to figure out what needs to be done, you need to figure out how the other person fucked it up and try to fix it without hurting any feelings. Oh, and, yes, I was too busy for doing what is essentially double work.
-
Am I weird if I decline lucrative job offers just to have a job that is fun and kinda meaningful even if I don't push my limits here, but they really can use my expertise? On related note, is there a bag of money that would convince you to do some boring job in corporate environment working on some fucked up internal systems of some fucked up bank? I found out that twice my current salary is not enough but tempting. Am I weird?2
-
Has anyone fucked up/made a big mistake on a project? Missed a deadline? What did you do and how'd you bounce back?9
-
To give my own old rant here a bit more background:
https://devrant.com/rants/5319171/...
Cloud solutions offline for some customers, a bit longer than a week...
https://theregister.com/2022/04/...
Bamboo release fucked up...
https://jira.atlassian.com/browse/...
They've withdrawn the new release 8.2.0 and instead went for 8.2.1 ...
Well just because you had to give everyone admin rights in an minor release as they fucked up permissions, who cares. -
So my phones camera's are fucked, was working on my games camera system last night and was ranting to my partner that none of it was working but it should be... Her response was 'You're not having much luck with camera's are you?"...
That cuts deep man... -
what the mothetfucking fucked fuck of a fucking shit is going on man!!!!?!
FUCK YOU BOOTSTRAP!!!!!
on codepen i just deleted the bootstrap build in, but i had a cdn link in header... i tried different links now and other stuff BUT MY SITE LOOKS NOW UGLY AS SHIT AND I DONT GET OLD SITE BACK FUFUUUUUUUUUJUUUUU
.. spent so many hours in it i was so proud
FUCK YOU SON OF A MOTHRRFUCKING BOOTSTRAP BITCH😠😠😠😠😠1 -
Goodjob Self, you fucked up your Git local repo.
```
[ git checkout master || git stash ]
fatal: git-write-tree: error building trees
Cannot save the current index state
```2 -
You know your day/week/month/year is fucked when your non-tech boss tells you about this awesome new tech that he has found in a article...
Literally a monkey with money. -
I know the world doesn't owe me anything but why is it so fucking hard to get a job in this industry?? Unless you have a few years experience in a job behind you. Well if I can't get a fucking coding job in the first place how the fuck am I supposed to get work experience. The world is deluded fucked up place. Rant over!8
-
Fuck the ISP and the incompetent retarded developers in the government!
The retarded ISP is injecting malware ads on all web pages which means if you access a non HTTPS site, you're gonna get fucked.
And the retarded government site still do not have HTTPS version for the websites!
The biggest irony is that this particular government site is for developers to register for courses ( paid ) about latest technologies.1 -
Whoever came up with the PSD2 can get fucked up their ass by all the cocks in the world combined.
Whoever fucked up the new security implementations so bad can get fucked up their ass by all the spiked, rusty, aids-contaminated metal poles in existance.
And whoever allowed all this to happen and approved it should take all the nukes in the world, shove them all up their worthless holes, and detonate them all at once.
Fuck you.
Die in a fire.
Sincerely,
Someone who's failing harder and harder every day to not lose faith in what little good there is in humanity.9 -
There's a device which is like a sensor that goes on your head that tracks your brainwaves and maps out how attentive/focussed you are during work hours, so that your employer can review it later.
It's like keystroke monitoring but on steroids.
The world is fucked.
Reference - https://youtu.be/tnZpBQQv3dg5 -
Office manager/HR:
• this is fucked up!
• I fucking hate this shit of a job
• I took a pay cut to get this job MF
• come near me and I'll cut you #moodtoday
Anyone else have similar experience with HR? -
That moment when Microsoft come to your college and give a pre-internship presentation talk and you can't ask them why the fuck is windows so fucked.2
-
I’ve got a great idea for an app.
So, it’s like the apps that allow you to pay rent or pay power bills or you know... order things... manage things... all the user interface apps out there that we use... but the twist is... that we could make apps like those / that don’t fucking suck! What do you think? Just make things... that aren’t super shitty and useless and beyond frustrating.
Who’s in?
I bet it would even make you more money than doing a super fucked half-assed job.10 -
remember android devs....
The difference between <view> and <View> is enough to make you kill yourself.
and even more if you have used <view> as a divider in your fucking recycler view.
Son of the mother fucking bitch i spend last 2 hrs trying to understand where my age old ,rock-solid , tried and tested code fucked up...
And when i saw the asshole bitch view, i was like wtf am i doing with my life? ;"""( -
As you all know I'm no professional, I may still be called a noob. I need some help getting into machine learning and stuff. As most of you are gonna recommend some books. I'm making it clearly that I cannot afford books right now as my budget is already fucked up for the sake of a custom built Origin PC. I seriously want to get into that stuff. Help me my friends at Devrant.6
-
Install Linux they said, it's better than a blue screen windows they said, THERE IS NO LINUX DRIVER OR NDISWRAP SUPPORT FOR MY WIFI ADAPTER I'M BASICALLY IN THE SAME BLOODY SPOT BUT WITH A PRETTIER TERMINAL! The reason for getting a blue screen in the first place was a bloody fucked up wifi driver!!!! I both love and hate you guys7
-
Tell me, the US isn't completely fucked up country and I will show you out...
I will just leave this here
https://cnet.com/news/...#
Still wondering tho, what the fuck is wrong with the word "dummy"...
The only thing that is wrong about these words is the people telling that they are wrong.8 -
See this? Dont ever fucking tell me to use mongodb. Half the time this website is fucking broken and down. Imagine you have a production ready app that is now also fucked because this piece of shit is fucked. I always viewed anyone using mongodb as DUMB fking shitass script kiddy with a small dick helping bill gates to gangrape some kids at the epstein island
11 -
## Reasonable answers needed ##
If you always work free and forced overtime, and you didn't get any salary raise fir a while. and then you asked to learn and work with new language and framework you didn't work with it before, you would prove yourself and learn it or you would ask for a raise first (or you simply you won't work do it)?
Context: fucked up market, no other job founded. and father.12 -
that moment when you decide to become and indie app dev and there are plenty of guides that tell how to be a good indie dev but no guides that teach you how not to get fucked by your own government...2
-
You know it's all good and well but compiling and building opensource software is like falling down a stairway and getting fucked by dependencies and quirky configurations on each step.
Forever...Down one step and down again.1 -
The feeling you get when you have a momentary lapse of a good idea for a project
Spent the entired day writing the code for it, and when you run it to see how it's coming together.. You get 0 Errors *Orgasmic moans*
but then you thought of something add and well.. it fucked everything up!1 -
You know you are screwed when you get a webpack error like "Module build failed" Babel cannot find module @babel-plugin-some-nonesense" & gyp module build failed because of fucked C++ node versions, go find the right node for you & you better start the project webpack config and .babelrc from scratch because you ain't getting anywhere with these errors.
-
Have I said this before? The Google - everything and the Facebook - everything... is SO FUCKED. Seriously... why would anyone ever want to work somewhere with weekend-bootcamp- hackathon quality user interface? You have to be an "expert" in their exact interface of the month just to give them money.1
-
you know i see plenty of evidence I was alive all this time extending past the year 2030 at least the problem is certain people fucked up everything.
they twisted what would have been a meaningful life around because they're garbage that believe in nothing and like playing games to feel like garbage more in control that are actually alive themselves, when they're not.13 -
When your IDE is installed a so fucked-up way you have to launch it with root privileges for it to start, you can't manage to find a good Git GUI client, and you already wasted 3 hours trying to solve both problems without fixing anything... You know it's time for you to get the hell off your PC, cry out and get some sleep.21
-
You know I don't want to hate everyone
Since you guys seem so intentionally narrating ok fucked up mindsets you all apparently create in your psycho offspring
Wouldn't it make more sense to put this suppose duplicate who is like allof you creatures in this ?
Unless I'm gonna be contracted to remove people who do these awful things it's a waste of time really8 -
I was writing a db on sql and I accidentally fucked up the key column.(as you can see in the pic) No, I didnt used AUTO_INCREMENT.
Is there a wei to make this right, other than doing it one by one?
3 -
You know you are fucked when you click the second result page on Google. ----> Me trying to search a nice way of implementing a grid list view on xamarin forms.3
-
Fuck away from me And Get FUCKED.
FEels so fucking good fucking off other companies who try to contact me first and give me an interview JUST GO FUCKING FIRSR YOUR DADS ASSHOLE TILL HE SHITS IN UR MOUTH FROM THE SUPER MASSIVE GIANT SHITHOLE FUCK YOU FUCK OFFF
6 -
A heads up for all you java people: this took me fucking hours to figure out https://access.redhat.com/solutions... latest kernel patch on rhel 5+ has fucked the JVM, using -Xss2m made it work on rhel 5. Looks to have been caused by a security fix for stack gaurd.
-
!dev
Youtube got fucked up again. All suggestions suck now, I cant listen to music remotely revelant to something I was listening 2 minutes before. It feels like they are litterally trying to develop algo that gives you same category of content (music) but as irrevelant and random as possible...3 -
Hitting `git commit -asm` when there are still untracked files.
And you knew that you fucked up the moment you see the result of your `git status`.2 -
I saw another rant about formatting. Now I want to complain too.
I fucking hate black formatting. Go screw yourself, it all hyped up and fucked up my code. Don't worry, everything still works, except my eyes. They got blinded everytime I see a black formatting commit. Screw you... Fire in the hole!!!!!!10 -
Fuck you mysql and your new fucked up 8.0 login. Fuck you 100 times. Now I need to restore my computer because of you.4
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You know you been thinking to much your your Friday ends with your head being you fucked you use yourself as the rubber duck to debug your code...2
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Jenkins, why you be so fucked up? The same pipeline file runs in one folder, but fails at the root of the Jenkins server. It's the same code! Literally, the exact same code, I just moved the job into a different folder.2
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When you need to present a new idea of a software to stakeholders, you let them decide the duration of the presentation or you decide? I'm facing a very fucked public saturday but it's an important project2
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It is really really really sad, when you tried to make a complex thing work in many days. When you tested, it was working amazingly. When you were about to finalize delivery after one week, it fucked and stopped working. Now either you fix it, or find another BLOODY algorithm! 😠
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Google pay can respond to reader proximity if it's not running. Who came up with this shit? And why isn't there a bigass warning popup about it when you first add a card. Actually, I know why; if they had to spell it out they'd realize how fucked up this is.1
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If you ever added your credit card just to test the Azure Free Trial Subscription in hopes of removing it when the trial is over. I'm sorry man, you're fucked! Like right in the ass!3
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Tonic is the most fucked up app on iOS. It just straight up internally dies. As soon as you try scanning the piano it scans it in the wrong plane and doesn’t scan like the picture wants it to. Then it asks you to map the first key of the piano and it moves the key vertically instead of horizontal. If you scan it the other way it does the opposite plane. I just want to try a cool app for my phone and you call your app a functional app. How.
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You want to pet a sweet fuzzy purring kitty that is not any form of allegory for something fucked up people do
And a nice kitty that doesn't scratch or bite -
Fucking rounding I hate you, trying to write sales figures to an accounting system API that is using some kind of fucked up rounding method that will not balance no matter what I do. Agghh1
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Didn't know just chewing a gum can make you lazy enough to not get up from your desk and help your teammates in the project. Don't know, either they're fucked up, or I am.2
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!rant
Just found my first piece of code I wrote 12 years ago, back then OOP was still the thing, man I literally fucked up everything you could fuck up about shared state. Why exactly have we never found a solution for that shit? -
Not been to any lectures in the past week. Fuck. I just can't seem to fix my routine and wake up on time for any lectures. How do you guys manage time and get to sleep and wake up on time? My routine is royally fucked.4
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You know you completely fucked up as a company, when your self-developed CMS is one huge unmaintainable hack and without any structure at fucking all.
It's just mindboggling how even such a complete mess can "attract" customers.
EXTREME STONKS 📈📈📈📈
(thankfully I am not related to that particular company which shall remain unnamed)2 -
What do I have to do to convince you people to bring the 21st century to the current year and just explain the gap in time as "we all fucked up and an elite subclass of assholes hid everything and convinced morons like us to delete things and turn other things over to them" ?
Don't any of you things care about being erased ?
Also a "sorry john we're bastards and we will hand over all your older photos and all government facility footage of you etc so you can at least look back with pride at something" would be nice.
and 'we'll also admit that we are the psychologically deranged ones'
and 'how about a free blowjob from my younger 20 something large breasted sister ?'
these would be life affirming exchanges.
and also "sorry for pretending to be you and likely doing fucked up things I should be shot for"
and also "you were right we were wrong the idea of just deleting a portion of time and repeating half of it drove everyone crazy and you were correct in all your assessments to the point where your capacity to asses psychologically was damaged by it being paired with extreme trauma because you don't want to understand our ridiculously nonsensical cruel asshole selves"
this would be progress.
instead it seems to be
'heee heee we're destroying everything and not heeding the warnings around us in these decrepit old monkeys that used to be just like us.. oh shit we're fucked now. how do we get out of this ? omg we never will ! waaaaaaaaa'
sigh.
could't you all jump off a cliff like a bunch of lemmings ?
the world would be a better place :)
and it would be all the more air for me :)6 -
Thank you modpagespeed to use shit methods to compress the source and your amazing work with client side cache. The whole site was fucked up for a day and I didn't notice.
Note: press Ctrl F5 20 times if you tweak anything in js. Even if it's 100% working, pagespeed can fuck it up. Turn that shit off.5 -
I hope I'm not the only one who gets some fucking random thoughts forcing you to do a google search while working on some projects.
---"Can fart be stored in a jar?"
Like what in the fucking fuck is wrong this stupid brain... Focus motherfucker! Who tha hell wakes up one morning to go store their fart in some fucked up jar! 👩💻3 -
"If you think it would be cute to align all of the equals signs in your code, if you spend time configuring your window manager or editor, if put unicode check marks in your test runner, if you add unnecessary hierarchies in your code directories, if you are doing anything beyond just solving the problem - you don't understand how fucked the whole thing is. No one gives a fuck about the glib object model.
The only thing that matters in software is the experience of the user."
— Ryan Dahl (https://tinyclouds.org/rant.html)6 -
Nothing is as fucked up as it seems, you have this, you'll figure it out, if you can't fix it, scrap it, don't stress yourself out, it's not worth it etc.
Current boss is the best.. Helped me a bunch, not only with how to tackle coding but life in general. -
Scrum poker, what a fucking joke that shit is. When did even a piss take 0.5 story points in this racket. ”It’s a no brainer, should take no more than 20min”. Who are you lying to? You KNOW that every time you open that IDE, the second you build and the moment you merge that putrid sewage, you’re gonna get fucked one way or another and cleaning up that shit is gonna take your cum poker assessment x 4.
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I kinda don't understand why are people fascinated with brainfuck lang. I have done tasks during my uni time using only Touring machine. Can't get much more fucked up than that I'm telling you.
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You know what I hate ? All this creepy shit they altered everything into once the thick glass wearing ugly freaks started showing up. All the unpleasantness and unhappiness and creepy things only someone who was stopping a few minutes to murder or rape someone or get fucked by a dog would like. Feel free to take them this content don't want to be around it and I'm sick of it2
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