On his first week at job, the junior says:

Hey guys! Check out this new website I found! You'll thank me later.

Person: Check out this “savage” file!

Me: Huh?

Person: *Shows SVG file*

🙄

Check this out! My "Dell-rolling man" is now ranting as well.

Client: we need you to give us access to the code ASAP. We don't like this black box approach.

Me: You have always had access to the code. It is here on this bitbucket repo and your usernames have admin access.

Client: We want the code moved to our GitHub before EOD.

I check out how to move repos over and it's fairly easy.

Me: just give me access to create a repo on your GitHub account and you can have the code moved over.

Client: Sorry it's late in the day and we stepped out to get drinks. (It was 2:30 pm). Not sure why you think there is a rush on this, we'll handle it first thing next week.

Me: WTF

Yo dawg, check out my fresh pimped homeoffice!

I have been a developer since I was 13 and this is the first time ever I feel complete :) Wish all of you even a better one than mine!

All this stupid people working. I got a 8 Million $ Check from a south african prince. All i need to do is pay 3000$ for the paperwork. Im out you idiots.

My wife is turning into my project manager . . .

Me : Check out this game I'm building as a side project!

Wife : Wow that's really neat! I expect to be able to play it on my phone. 1 month?

Me: What? I haven't even learned how to port ...

Wife : (interrupts) ONE MONTH

Scope creep even at home *sigh

Code not working.
Comment out code.
Slowly rewrite it bit by bit till it works again.
Check against commented code.
They're the same.
Wtf.

Seven hours wasted on this shit :/

4 years ago I was placed on probation for not having the special format in source control check in comments. When I asked, the 'special format' was
clearly documented on page 18, sub-section 4, sub-paragraph 2, "All check in comments will include the solution name, separated by a colon,
and why the code was changed." My check-in comment was only missing the colon. Indecently, over 80% of the other comments consisted of 'adsf',
'bug fix', and several 'BOOM!'s. So I mistakenly said out loud 'This check-in policy appears only to exist to allow management to cherry pick
developers they do not like, find something wrong, and put them on probation.' That comment got on a 30-day ‘corrective action plan’ for openly disagreeing with a
company policy. Today, all those managers were either fired or quit and now I set policy. Dear Mr. ex-Bosses, I won.

Check this out

This actually happened today

Colleague: Hey man I think there's a problem with my computer.

Me: Alright, I'll check it out.

(I go to his desk and find that his screen was turned off)

Colleague: It just suddenly turned off.

Me: (presses a random key on his keyboard)

(Screen lights up)

I really wish I had known this before. Check this out guys. You can type a unix command and find out what each options mean. Rather than man paging the commands this is a easier way to do it :)

Hey frontend developers. If you do THIS:

z-index: 1000;

...expecting that it will ensure your div will be on top no matter what, I'm about to fuck your world up. Check this shit out:

z-index: 1001;

I've put my blood, sweat and tears into this company in the past years. Worked overtime, evenings, weekends, night shifts to get shit done and helped out in sharing knowledge only to learn a new guy who's still learning has 200 bucks higher pay check than me.

I'm not even sure how to react to this.

!rant
wow! Just found an old js book from 1999! ...and there was a list w/ searchengines in the appendix.
..check this out!

Every time I hear a developer say "works for me", I'm gonna hide a service of mine that they use behind the VPN.

Dev: "oy mate, this server is down"
Me (with VPN connection): "sorry mate, works for me"
Dev: "but here, check this out, it's down!!"
Me: "mate, check your network connection. You must have a shitty network connection."
Dev: -_-
Me: "Maybe shitty hardware? Driver issues on your network card? 🤭"

Because you know, we sysadmins can do that too 😉

The best I have seen and exploited was years ago with a web shop that allowed me to set my own check-out price by just inspecting the element and setting the desired price. It just happily advanced to the next step where they invoked the payment provider with my custom price. Unfortunately the shop doesn't exist anymore. I have encountered many more security leaks but this one was so easy and lucrative to exploit.

---- Startup RantLife ----

A senior developer joined the team, let's name him Bob, and this guy is really good no doubts about that.
He made suggestions, some improvements, but Bob is always waving his hands and says out loud that some part of the code base is really really bad.
I kept quiet until one day I had to pair with Bob to check a feature. Guess what happened, as usual, Bob clenched his fist and start pointing that this code is super ugly.
So let's check the history of changes and boom, Bob was the main writer.
That moment, I was completely silent, trying not to smile as Bob came up with an excuse, he never admits that he is wrong, now he needs a scapegoat and he starts blaming the process, the planning...
I believe that being humble and saying sorry is a quality that it requires time to develop.
So don't be like Bob, please :)

$sis: hey $me, can you help me?
$me: Uhm, sure, what's wrong?
$sis. The printer doesn't work..
$me: what does it say?
$sis: what do you mean?
$me: like, when you try to print something, what does it say?
$sis: uhm... idk...where should it say something
$me: On your screen you should be getting an error message right?
$sis (now getting irritated for some reason): no it doesn't..
$me: okay, let me check it out
*I walk to the printer with my sister's laptop and plug in the usb*
*Select printer > click print*
"Printer offline"
$me: was it also saying this before
$sis: uhm...yes
$me: ok
At this point im already getting a bit fed up
$me: are you sure this port is working
$sis: yes, I am sure
Okay, check other ports just to be sure, also don't work.
After about 15 minutes of debugging, turns out she managed to unplug the cable on the printer...
And all I got was a "o thanks"
Fml

Check out this Dev prize grabber

Dev of other system : Oh hey, we're implementing a change to this part of the system, will it affect you at all?
Me: Sure, I'll check it out. When are you planning to go live?
Other Dev : Oh it went live yesterday...

🤬😭

What does a Git say to another?

Check this out man

So my ethernet randomly stopped working on Arch.

At first I thought it had to do with a conflict between it and my tethered phone, so I tried removing all my connections. Still wasn't working.

Next I tried to test the driver itself and make sure it loaded on boot. It loaded, but was disconnected.

Next I decided "fuck it, I know I was just using the internet on Windows, but I'll check the ethernet cable is still plugged in anyway". It was, and it was returning the right MAC address, but still no connection.

So I try debugging the driver further. Everything seemed fine, except it would time out trying to establish a dhcp connection.

Finally I figured, maybe Microsoft tried to troll me and lock out the ethernet waking on boot. So I restart my computer, load into windows and check my ethernet driver, it seems fine. I go to disable the shutdown of the card on OS shutdown. Turns out this driver no longer has that capability.

Wait a minute!? Windows is also having connection issues!?

I look to my left.

Fuck my life...

My router was off... I must of kicked the powerboard under my desk..........

"Please add a feature to check the user's internet connection before the application starts."
-- THIS IS A GOD DAMN WEB APPLICATION, YOU DUMB MORONS! Maybe I should add a feature next that checks for the user's computer being turned on or what? How about making sure the application isn't run when the power is out?!
Jesus fuck.

So, in the printing industry, FTP has a long and storied history as the standard method of sending art assets. But as time has gone on, more and more people are utterly incapable of handling FTP.

Customer: "I sent you the file. It's called xyz.zip"

PM: "I don't see the file."

Customer: "I know I sent it."

PM: "Let me check with IT."

I check the logs. No such file was uploaded.

PM: "What program did you use to send the file?"

Customer: "Firefox"

Every. Fucking. Time.

It turns out the Germans actually have a word for this:

Check out this relic I just found in my old messenger bag...

Friday, I got a mail from my PM shortly before I wanted to leave. Basically it was, hey can you check out whether this issue [which I hadn't even heard about] is somehow related to our system? Meeting is in one hour.

My answer: I guess not, otherwise I'd have been in the loop much earlier than one hour before the meeting.

I shut down the PC like a boss and went into weekend.

About 6 years ago, my boss found out about social media and how he could use it to boost his business. So he created a Facebook page.

A week later he called me to his office and asked me to move the page's profile picture from left to right. I told him this was not possible and was something Facebook doesn't allow us to do.

Next thing I know he started telling me to check and try before I say no, and should never say no as anything was possible.

Obviously, I quit.

Check out this cool new feature. Double tap the image below. Only works on mobile.

Check this out.
Brazil is coming to a halt right now because of a distribution blockage by the truck drivers.

Gasoline tripled the litter price from yesterday.

Gas stations are going empty.

Air-fucking-ports are out of diesel/gas.

Public transportation might stop tomorrow.

And my boss "will consider" home office, wtf dude, are you retarded?

I've dreamed of learning business intelligence and handling big data.

So I went to an university info event today for "MAS Data Science".

Everything's sounded great. Finding insights out of complex datasets, check! Great possibilities and salery.

Yay! 😀

Only after an hour they've explained that the main focus of this course is on leading a library, museum or an archive. 😟 huh why? WTF?

Turns out, they've relabled their librarian education course to Data science for getting peoples attention.

Hey you cocksuckers! I want my 2 hours of wasted life time back!
Fuck this "english title whitewashing"

Don't you love when you want to buy a domain and it says it's unavailable so you check out the site and get greeted with this...

EDIT: Don't ask why the image has a black thing around it because I have no idea

The fuck did you think was going to happen?

User: ITs dragging their feet which is why x hasn't gone out yet.

PM: Why hasn't this gone out yet?

Me: They sent me a template then another and then said wait that's wrong too I'll send you the correct one.

I've yet to receive this and no one's provided me the data to check over.

PM: Well that's not what x said.

Me: Well my email chain says so. (Proceed to show them the emails)

PM then walks off and blasts the users. Your #blamegame ended the moment you emailed me knob shits.

I had to explain what version control was to the dinosaur last week. (Our cto, for more context check last post)

So we've been having issues getting our infrastructure dude to do deployment because he is sick of the treatment he gets here and has basically checked out.

Deployments then fell onto the dinosaur. After struggling for an eternity to figure out app settings (any junior dev could figure this out) he finally deployed, however it was from qa branch.

I gently reminded him that we were deploying from master and that all changes in qa should be merged to master when testing phase is over.

He informed me that 'he doesn't think that's a good idea because if we merge to master and there's problems then it's fucked forever and there is nothing we can do'

I stood there with my mouth hanging ajar until I finally managed to squeeze out 'that's literally what git is for....' 🤡

I'm 4 days old to this company. I spent 40 minutes debugging why the internet is not working. I asked the IT Guys for the support and they said everything is good.

So why the fuck is the internet not working? I rant at them. The IT Guy told me to calm down and then he will help me. So I calm down and again went to ask for help. He said that he will check it out after breakfast.

It's been more then an hour and he hasn't returned yet. I'm going to complain to the Boss when he comes in. This is not cool man.

I, my dev friend and a non dev friend were having a deep Philosophical chat
NDF - while we are here on earth, we should give something back to the mankind
DF - Yeah man! (sarcastically pointing at me) But this guy never gives anything to anybody
Me - Oh I have contributed a lot to the mankind. You should check my github profile.

Needless to say two of us burst out laughing while one was giving blank stare.

Found this at my grandmothers house... Check out caption "compete free on the internet" and for Windows 95

Rappers: "Yo dawg check out my mixtape!"
Programmers: "Hey have written this super cool JSON library..."

A coworker just died. He wasn't even 50.

Everyone make sure you're keeping your stress in check, and prioritizing your health. Go get that thing checked out you've been putting off.

This career is lucrative but it has its toll. Make sure you're taking time away.

These influencers man.. I just can't.

Today I was watching a video on how the education industry is a total scam. The video was quite nice, pointing to issues like, school doesn't sell us knowledge, instead it sells us Hopes And Dreams, and other things.

But at the end, the guy goes "By the way guys check out the link in description to get 15% off on this course that teaches you coding and principles of software engineering."

Sneaky Bastards.

A colleague named Sam was really pissed off today at an out sourcing firm from India.

My Boss outsourced an application to India based firm. Sam was the one handling the project after the handover. Sam coded a feature 2 weeks ago and moved to staging server for approval. After the sign off from the lead developer of the outsourcing firm, he moved the feature to production. For the past 2 days the application was crashing over and over again so Sam went to check and found out that the feature he coded was causing the issue. When he pulled the feature to his computer and had a look at the code, it wasn’t his code. The code he wrote was commented out and the lead developer of the outsourcing firm wrote new code.

When Sam emailed to him regarding this he replied that he re-wrote his code to fix issues with the feature. Sam and outsourcing firm lead developer had heated argument about this. It’s turns out that the outsourcing developer re-wrote the code without anyone’s approval and on production server.

The lead developer of the outsourcing firm was fired.

The DE life cycle of every Linux hobbyist:

1. Let's work with Unity.... it's so blah
2. Let's check out XFCE.... it does its job, but it needs more zing
3. Let's check out KDE...aah, my poor battery.
4. Let's check out LXDE.... Can you be any more boring?
5. Let's check out Pantheon.... This is perfect, but I'm tired of using a tweak tool to even enable minimize and maximize
6. Let's go to Gnome 3...Ah never mind
7. Let's go to Cinnamon... Blurgh, It reminds me of Windows
8. Let's go to MATE....Hmm, Mutiny layout?!! It reminds me of Unity. Wonder if Unity 8 has made any progress!
9. Go back to Step 1.

Lets check out the dev in you.

Problem: Print "Hello World" in C in such a way that you cannot use any semicolon anywhere in the program.

Try this without using internet.

Hint: You only need to know basics of C.

You know the anxiety that is caused by having your boss breathing down your neck as you fix something?
.....
WELL I DON'T
SIT DOWN MOTHERFUCKER AND WATCH THIS SHIT

I fucking invite this micromanaging fuckery. Come on dude get closer and check this shit out. Countless hours perfecting my sweet skills, lemme show them to you and make yo dumbass feel inadequate AF

dude was literally looking as i saved the day over some fuckery that happened while i was taking care of alllll the other motherfucking support tickets.

Dude even said wow.

I said "i am in this bitch what's up?"

Guarantee mfkers won't fuck with you if you show them how much of a fucking boss you are.

*doesn't drop mic
*smashes guitar instead

TL;DR; I unfucked a micro sd used by a nintendo switch with one command: fsck

I had noticed that the nintendo switch displayed way more storage usage then it should. I didn't mind at first, but at some point I couldn't download any games. When I checked I saw some ridiculous storage usage.

According to the system, all games summed up ~20Gb, but >100Gb was in use? Sounds retarded, so I did the following:
* Plugged it into laptop
* Spend one our searching for a way to to access this seemingly unknown filesystem
* Find out this filesystem is actually exFAT
* Find out that 2/3 sd adapters suck
* check filesystem with dust (A visually more pleasing version of du)
* Find 20Gb of files, nothing hidden or whatever
* run fsck
* "File system contains some errors want me to fix then?"
* "Sure"
* check usage
* 17%

As for the reason why this happened in the first place, my guess is that the switch labels the whole segment of the card as used before downloading a game and it something goes wrong, it shits itself.

Anyways, fsck is a pretty useful command.

Switching Linux distros and a friend says I should check out openSUSE so I download it, boot it up and I'm greeted by this...

So Friday afternoon is always deployment time at my company. No sure why, but it always fucks us.

Anyways, last Friday, we had this lovely deployment that was missing a key piece. On Wednesday I had tested it, sent out an email(with screenshots) saying "yo, whoever wrote this, this feature is all fucked up." Management said they would handle it.

The response email. 1(out of 20) defects I sent in were not a defect but my error. No further response, so I assume the rest were being looked into.

In a call with bossman, my manager states that the feature is fixed, so I go to check it quickly before the deployment(on Friday).

THERE IS NO FUCKING CODE CHECK-IN. THE DEV BASTARD JUST SAID THAT MY USECASE WAS WRONG, SO MY ENTIRE EMAIL WAS INVALID.

I am currently working on Saturday, as the other guy refuses to see the problem! It is blatant, and I got 3 other people to reproduce to prove I am not crazy!

On top of that, the code makes me want to vomit! I write bad code. This is like a 3rd grader who doesn't know code copy-pasted from stack overflow! There is literally if(A) then B else if(!A) then B! And a for loop which does some shit, and the line after it closes has a second for loop that iterates over the same unaltered set! Why?! On top of that, the second for loop loops until "i" is equal to length-1, then does something! Why loop???

The smartest part of him ran down his Mama's leg when it saw the DNA dad was contributing!

Don't know who is the culprit, and if you happen to see this, I am pissed. I am working on Saturday because you can't check your code or you lied on your resume to get this job, as you are not qualified! Fuck you!

To all the web developers out there that use email validation, stop using a check for common domain names! If I try to sign up with my email address (something@coded-websites.be) it won't work! So stop doing that and use a RegEx please! Who has had this problem too?

So I just got this email from a tech company, I registered to send my CV some years ago , about a dev Job openning.

The descripition included:
Java and Angular ( first red flag )

So I go to their site to check it out ...
No https, ping the domain returns an ip from another continent with 500+ ms latency.

Major flaws on the site usability...
Super dumb password recovery method...

I'm fucking outta here dude. I might send them a proposition to fix their servers and at least put it behind letsencrypt though...

And these morons have big clients, like my bank... wtf...

❤️ Check this out:

*During a walk around to check on the users*

Dev: *Watching worker laboriously dragging pallet jack with one wobbly wheel and another wheel practically seized*

Dev: Hey that looks broken, can’t you swap it out in the maintenance building?

Worker: If you do that management will give you one that’s worse.

Dev: …This fucking company

** Worker later threw out his back, company’s corrective action was to send out notice reminding employees to stretch before doing physical tasks

I just received this gem this morning.
First of let me start by saying that I am against scammers and all this Nigerian prince crap.
But some of this shit is so bad that it actually pisses me off. My intelligence feels insulted.

Look at this email. These fuckers spent hours perfecting the Hotmail feel to it. The logo, design and even font are in par. As I started reading the shit, the spelling mistakes are so obvious that I wondered; do these nut suckers know that whatever email editor they use, it autocorrects for you? Are they just ignoring the recommendations? I mean they could've even used the "Did you mean" feature in Google. Or any of the freely available grammatical check sites out there.

Think of this as plagiarism. It's bad but a majority of us can appreciate a well planned out one.

I'm yet to encounter a really good scam email that almost had me click their link. There's always an obvious stand out! Is there like a copyright holder to a perfectly well put scam email?!

(And yes, you just read a rant about someone complaining that scammers aren't doing a great job)

Can someone just please come over and safe me? I am soooooo done with all this bullshit code. I understand why people loathe PHP, it enables totally worthless people to carry the title 'programmer' because hurrrdurrr look at my website, I made this. Fuck yes, you made that and you should SHAME yourself! What the actual flying fuck I can't begin to explain the monstrosities that I find checking out this worthless pile of fucking garbage.

User passwords saved as plaintext in database? Check!

Using hungarian notation, camecase and snakecase inconsistently? Check!

Typejuggling like you're the mainman of the Insane Clown Posse? Check!

Everything is a mess, there is no documenation, no consistency no nothing, this is straight from the 9th circle of programmers hell.

Aaaaaaarghhhhh I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS WORTHLESS PILE OF GARBAGE!!!!

The original dev prefixed every spagetthifile with his copyright shite so im gonna look him up and highfive him in the face with my laptop and after that printing out my resignation letter in comic sans fontsize 78 because FUCK YOU

So done.

Helped out a junior today with a minor JS issue he had. Told him, "cool so that should fix it on this page but it may break things elsewhere. Make sure you check it otherwise the client will go into meltdown. "
30mins after they go home. Client emails (All Caps) "WEBSITE BROKEN, URGENT HELP REQUIRED"
😡 you didn't bloody check it did you!
Ffffffffuuuuuuuu

One of our senior dev enjoys berating the other devs because they don't check-in code according to his schedule (once a day, once an hour..he flip-flops a lot), then when they do, he 'reviews' their code, beating them up because of incomplete features, commented out code..petty..petty nonsense.
Ex. (this occurred couple of weeks ago).

Ralph: "The button click code in this event isn't complete"
Dev: "No, its not, the code in my development branch. You said it was best practice to check in code daily whether the code worked or not. I didn't finish the event last night and ..."
Ralph: "Exactly. Before you check any code into source control, it has to work and be 100% complete. What if someone moved that code into production? What happens if that code got deployed? I'm not even going talk about the lack of unit tests."
Dev: "Uh..well..the code is on the development channel, and I branched the project in my folder ...I didn't think it mattered.."
Ralph: "Ha ha...you see what happens when you don't think...listen..."
- blah blah blah for 10 minutes of hyperbole nonsense of source control check-in 'best practice'

This morning Ralph's computer's hard-drive crashed.
Ralph: "F-k! ..F-k! ... my f-king computer hard drive crashed!"
Me: "Ouch...did you loose anything important?"
Ralph: "A f-king week of code changes."
Me: "You checked everything into source control on Friday ...didn't you?"
Ralph: "F-k no!...I got busy...and...f-k!"
Me: "Look at the bright side, you'll have a good story to tell about the importance of daily check-ins"

Oh...if looks could kill. Karma...you're the best.

A colleague's story...
"I named this branch after my girlfriend at the time, so that I could check her out at my will. I texted her about this, she was not amused..."

- The PDF you are sending is wrong - said the boss.
- Why? -
- Client says that it is not complete. -
I check the pdf, nothing missing.
- I don't understand -
- The client only sees a part of it, this corner -
- Client should zoom out pdf reader -

"Dude, you HAVE to check out this meme i saw...

On DevRant...

No; of course it's not in the joke/meme category!"

Just joined this Linux Development Team Xenta OS, it originated in my country, Im asking for a favor to check it out and seeing what needs improvements...

If you are curious and want to help out , check it out in 'xentaos.org'

Not sure if this has been posted before but GitHub has an official dark mode now!

And it's pretty beautiful too
(Especially check out how your own comments look on an issue!)

!rant

Wanted to share a project with you, which I heard about at a Python Conference I attended.

It's a Raspberry based Hacking Station to educate and sensitize students about data privacy. The amazing thing about the project is, that it is a graduation project from a high school student.

If you're interested, check out spypi.ch

This is not an ad or something, I was just amazed by the talk and the idea of the project and wanted to share it with you.

Bro every time this guy wants to create a PR, rather than branching off another branch and raising a PR to get it merged back in, this dude creates a fork and then makes a PR to merge the fork back in.

Holy. Fuck. Please don’t do this. It makes checking out your “branch” a massive pain in the ass. Plus, it’s totally unnecessary, and I can’t even check it out to begin with because your forked repo is fucking private you stooge. If we were in completely different orgs or doing open source I’d understand a fork. Not if you’re sitting right fucking next to me!!!!!111

"200 Internal Server Error"

Yep, I did that. Because the lousy crapheads I work with were too lazy to handle any other HTTP status so anything else breaks the whole thing. And it's a pain to roll out another release of their part of the backend so "this isn't a priority". Also, they don't feel the need to check the JSON body of the response for the "status":"ok"/"fail" because what could ever go wrong, right? I effectively have no way of conveying to them that there was an error on this end of the API so they show success toast on the frontend irrespective of what really happened.

Holy shit. I just watched a video on Rust and I think I am in love.

Tracked mutability, reference counting, guaranteed thread safety, all in a compiled type-safe language with the performance of C++? 😍

Why did I not check this out sooner??

Alright, biiiiig rant time.

Shitty webdevs who randomly use an entire framework for some tiny feature in the middle of their codebase because they couldn't figure out how to do it with native and completely fucking up their syntax, consistency and standards set beforehand (not that there were any to begin with, this dude program's​ like 3-4 people just jumbled all their crap into one massive pile).
Not only that but throughout the entire backend this guy flip-flops on passing an the error value before results in his callbacks, so now i have to check his functions everytime I use them after spending 2-3 sessions debugging to figure out wtf was going wrong.

Please for the love of god, if you wanna dance to your own beat, LEAVE COMMENTS

useless fucking client bastards. i sent an email to all clients 2 months ago about gdpr and the impending deadline. Explaining that they need to update privacy and check webforms and internal procedures etc are compliant. I said I would help them implement any changes to their respective sites. Heard nothing from these fuckers... except this morning an email “what does the new gdpr mean for our website?”
FUCK OFF AND READ MY EMAIL, FOLLOW THE LINKS DO THE RESEARCH AND FUCKING SORT YOUR CUNTING SELVES OUT, I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING LAWYER.

Someone just overwrote 2 weeks of work in SVN because they don't understand merging.

When they did an update before committing they ignored the conflicts and tried to build their work.

But wait it won't build if their are conflicts, I know I'll just copy this backup over the checkout and check that in instead.

It took me over an hour tho fix this fucktard's mistake and I still don't think they understand what they did wrong. Their supposed to have 40+ years of experience.

In the end it turned out they wanted to change about 10 lines. They had checked in files that they didn't even change, they were just out of date compared to trunk.

Yesterday at work the internet went out. Our director of IT stopped by our cubes and the conversation that followed went like this:

Director: "Is the internet out for you guys?"
Us: "Yeah"
Director: "But you can still check your emails right?"
Us: ".... No?"
Director: "But the phones are working!"

*Director walks away to talk with our networking group*

Set my alarm 25 minutes earlier to check out this awesome thing called devRant. Before I start my day. 😎

So my girlfriend just flipped out and sad that her whole Dropbox was totally empty. All of her files studies, her jobs and even her poems and short stories were gone...
Turned out she has 2 accounts.
One for...@gmail and one for...@googlemail

this is actually not my first instance where someone asked me for help regarding an important account where they just didn't check if maybe they used one instead of the other.

I know it's good that they changed it and kept both addresses but some people just get confused by it

I really don't understand how developers from Facebook, WhatsApp and other messaging platforms still didn't figure out that ever since they introduced message previews on push notifications that those "seen" check-marks became utterly useless in most of cases..

This COVID-19 quarantine just confirms it, since nobody is doing anything else except being on phones and computers whole day but somehow it still takes them several hours to "read" the message..

Aaaaaaaargh!! Fing ashole!!
I got a major blocker reported, tried to connect to client, two of the user accounts were locked out because some genious used the last months password too many times.. FUUUU!! This happens almost every month!! FU! I go to the support dpt to check WTH is with those user accounts and got told the VPN is fucked up anyway so I will not be able to connect in any casr (disconnecting, bad transfer rate, it has a flue or prebirth cramps...whatever...). Ok, I ask if anyone notified our network admins and theirs.. And in response one guy mumbles something... I asked really really pissed off (due to the seriousnrs of the situation, we have max 8h to fix blockers and must check what is going on in minutes) if he is talking to me and answering my question or just talking to himself. He then a little bit more audiably said: we all are unable to work, you are not the only one with this problem & if you have a solutio... I already stormed out. Yes, everyone has problems connecting, no not everyone has a fucking blocker assigned to them!! Mayor malfunction on our system is not the same as archiving old processing data!!!

Simple yes or no question: did anyone notify our network admins & client's network admins?! And client's management that we have technical problems and cannot check the blocker situation immediately?! And I get a mumbling incompetents guy response... OmFG yes, I have a solution for you!! Go and jump of of the terrace!!

>import ENi18n
>import ZHi18n

en = {…ENi18n, moreStuff}
zh = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffZH}
pt = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffPT}

“Hey man can you fix this? Seems like we are missing the Portuguese i18n. Check this file please (path)”
“I’m sorry I don’t understand, can you call me and explain?”

Why do I need to explain this? What is difficult to grasp here? How can it take more than 20 seconds to know what to do here? It’s not even a file I made, you made it and I just ran into it!

Fuck man, I’m going to blow my brains out.

So today I opened one Android app to check smog levels in my area and this happened (NaN %). Someone who made this app smokSmog probably didn't find out that NaN can happen. I am really interested if it is because sensor has no data or is it a problem inside the app

Typical code life?

1. Write rough comments
2. Write more detailed comments
3. Write pseudo code
4. Write semi-working but definitely ugly code
5. Write working but very ugly code
6. Refactor the code to be nicer, check for patterns, bottlenecks and other bits and pieces
7. Push to git the "final" code
8. After few months blame whoever wrote the code
9. Refactor all the things!

---

This happened in my career more than once and still - it seems like the best option out there to get things done. What do you guys think? Should something be added/removed from this? Is this over-complicated or what?

So this one day I'm at work and the manager peaks into my office and just says "can you check that platform X is building, pretty much done just a basic bug check" (this bloke had negative 1 technical experience)

I'm not sure what he means, the whole thing is built in Java and I know nothing about that...

I log in the platform on dev server, sure enough it seems to work, charts are drawn, no errors, then I try to log out; this button does nothing...

I don't bother telling the manager, I just go to the dev who's a friend of mine and tell him about it.

A week later, manager jumps in the room all excited "we're launching this product tomorrow, mind checking again?"

Sure, I log in, ... There's no log out button, it's gone... I ask the dev.

"Yeah I fixed it, it's gone now!"

Looked into my spam/junk folder and found this. I don't have a C-Panel account, just so you know. I took a look into the link to check it out. It's quite obviously an attempt at phishing. (more screenshots in the comments)

Client: my video player has two play buttons.
Me: ok that's weird let me check yes it does have two play buttons your right so turns out the client has taken a screenshot of another video player with the play button still on it and used that as their poster image hence two play buttons.

Finding it impossible to explain this to them arrrrggggghhh why why why

Me : "I need to stop geeking out about security because I have exams and need to write a report"

Me 2 hours later : "Ooooo.. what's this cool article about?Let's check it out 😎"

Always check the licence when you include a new library.

Very nearly GPLed a large amount of commercial code by not checking this in one of my first projects out of uni.

Luckily someone else noticed and the library in question turned out to be dual licensed so it turned out ok in the end.

Check out this font! Makes my code look way more futuristic!

me: i dont wanna get out of bed to check the code, i feel so comfy and lazy

me: *after 10 mins* dammit, need to change this, need to change that, its still fucked up, why is this wrong *codes more*

So I work for a VPN company as the Info Sec manager long story short I'm not usually the pleb who does customer support.

But today I ended up having to do this. I spent over 1 hour helping a client that a support agent escalated the request for to me. So I figure out that his network adapters are sharing incorrectly.
I fix problem.
He tries to connect.
Denied access so I check our servers for the request and he's blocked.
I think that's odd.....

I check active subscription and this person ISNT A CLIENT THATS ACTIVE....

WHY IS SUPPORT SO IGNORANT.
UGH.

Today another story in this stupid company:
A freelancer created a feature to pay orders online . It took him 3 months (!)
Problem: sometimes people pay, but orders are not stored. Every morning, it takes 1 hour to check in db if the orders are stored, and if not, create them manualy
Yes, orders are created after payment.
Manager wants to fix it by creating the order before the payment, in 3 days (!)
Turns out that the freelancer has written a lot of obsolete code, I now have to clean up. 3 fucking months vs 3 fucking days!
And on top, the shoppingcart was stored in localstorage! (Already fixed by now)
Fuck this, I'm getting another wodka

So, currently I am on Vacation and my dad asked me to train two of his staff members to use computer for data entry and basic usage stuff.

Now both guys are total noobs and have never used a computer before.

So I decided to take this opportunity to conduct a simple experiment. I am training one on Windows and other on Ubuntu to check out which one performs better.

The windows guy is winning.

Frontend-Developer steps into my office and tells me that my code does not work and that he has checked everything.

>me confused, cause I did it every time so<

So I spent one hour to check and recompile my code again and again. I created more console outputs than my whole last week... And at the end... It was not my fault, I had to find out that the front- and backcolor of his label are the same so the text was not visible.

Dear frontend developer,

I love your designs and most of the time you make a really good job, but please check something like this before you confuse a backend developer for one hour and let him doubt about himself...

Thanks!

Sincerely,
Your backend dev

!rant

To those of you who don't know about this, if you have a Microsoft account, you can sign up for Visual Studio Dev Essentials with it. Doing that gives you 3 months free access to Pluralsights, which is a really nice website to learn new stuff. Do check it out.

Jesus fuckin' Christ. I own a webshop together with someone else. This guy is so fuckin' stupid. Yesterday I've deployed a release to our acceptance environment. I talked with him extensively about it. This morning I texted him to check out all the new stuff.

5 minutes later he texts.me back: I would suggest changing option x. Uuh... what option x? We don't have that any more.

Dude! What the fuck! We talked extensively about acceptance testing so you know it is in our acceptance environment, not production, asshole.

And then again, he asks for the link to the acceptance, which I gave him twice already.

Are you really that stupid??

I spent the last 5 hours solving this FUCKING GREAT challenge and I'm finally done 🎉

It's hxp CTF btw, check it out

I've heard a lot of nice things about python so today I decided to check it out and HOLY CRAP this is an amazing language! Really makes me wonder why I didn't look into this sooner!

Seriously though! I looked at the documentation and official tutorials for like 30 minutes before writing a selection sort algorithm using only six lines of code. I'm quite mind blown.

About twice a year some of my relatives call me up and say they have a computer virus, but then it turns out they just clicked "yes" when some sketchy website asked to send them notifications and now they're getting hot singles in their area notifications every time they open Chrome to check out their bank account

Who at Google thought this was a good idea???

12:55 AM, Subject gets and decides to look at crude oil chart.
1:05 AM, At it.
1:10 AM, Subject decides to check the temperature, using laptop screen in dark.
1:12 AM, Does a wild aerobic move to save flying laptop.
1:13 AM, Finds out that screen is gone.
1:23 AM, Orders new screen.
1:26 AM, Types this rant.

I promised myself not to fuck too much with new JS frontends. But Sveltes premise seems interesting enough to check it out and the concept of reactive blocks of code in JS sure is interesting.

This language keeps evolving as well as its tooling. I think shit is pretty amazing.

So my dad calls me because my uncle is freaking out about how a client messaged him and he doesn't know how to check if he can do what them asked him to. I tour them around the website he's using (as he understands little to none of it, and my dad doesn't use the site regularly so he's not versed into it as well) as to where they're supposed to look and they go check this one tab. In it, there's info of what is sold out in what day. And for each day it says "day x - y sold out" and he asks me what day it is that y things are sold out, and that it is confusing, and I'm like "are you serious it's right there". Goddamn it this guy sometimes

Check out this amazing launcher
F**kin awesome!!

Okay so I have a question about Windows Linux Subsystem and idk where else to ask this.

So should I think of it as a virtual machine except instead of being a completely separate environment it’s my current computers environment?

I don’t know how to word this how I’m thinking about it but I’m trying to figure it out.

Also do Bash scripts work with it? I assume they do but it’s just a double check.

Hey friends! Milo here, I sincerely hope all of you are having a tremendous day and or night wherever you may be. This photo i have attached here below is a dream one day i wish to achieve.

A good friend of mine who I personally consider a mentor invited me to check out their workplace which one day i really hope to be able to work in! Such a nice place with a spectacular view! Please pardon the horrible weather on that particular day! :-)

Kindest regards
Milo

My colleague is so annoying! Whenever she found an issue with the site or app (as I newly handle this project. The guy before this wrote redundant code overload.)

she tags everyone in the company just to point out the issue, demanding Me to fix it. Like "it is your project yoi should know better "

I check the git. That's wasn't my code at all. Some guy (idk wtf )in 2024 wrote it.

!rant

Take a break this weekend and check out Stranger Things on Netflix.

Well, the project I've been working on is now being terminated.

As the lead dev, I found out by one of the managers sending a public message to the staffing team in one of the channels unrelated to development, which I don't normally check.

Apparently at no point in their "very long discussion" did they think they should let me know of this decision.

Tbh I'm not even suprised, I was barely ever told anything. The others aren't either.

Fren: yo check this IC out

[blinks]

"Okay, s-"

[suddenly bitch ass contraption squirts milk on my face]

[bitch ass fren runs]

,w, <(motherfucker y u do dis)

Build project on GitHub with new tags, refresh every hour to see what if somebody found it and like "WOW check this out"? Pft, who am I kidding, still zero.

I found a new app called CodeMonk. This apps purpose is to teach you better and more optimised coding tehniques. Check it out, ranters!

Situation:

Php not loading oci8 connector for oracle database in windows server, got the all famous and feated oci_connect unknown function error.

Solution:
Check to make sure that the stupid dll is in the extensions folder ---> check

Check to make sure that the extension_dir path is done properly inside php.ini ---> check

Ensure that extension=php_oci8_11g.dll is inside php.ini ---> check

I have no fucking clue why this piece of shit would stop working all out of the sudden and would not fucking work. But here i am yet AGAIN trying to fix something for the fucking web tech department because their fucking lead dev is out.

I
Fucking
HATE

Having to deal with php configurations. Such a fucking pain in the fucking ass man.

FUUUUCKING WOOOOOORK

Spend literally two days trying to figure out why I have a 2 hour offset in my timezones for a lamp web app. This isn't even close to my first timezone rodeo.

Check logs, reset Apache/MySQL/PHP timezones in like 100 places. Use 3rd party server side and client side timezone libraries. Moment.js you say? Shit works like a charm... but is, of course, still two hours off.

MySQL is right. PHP is right. Apache is right. PHP libs are in place. Finally convert the entire damn project to use epoch time because I have a deadline, I have no more time to read backwater AWS docs and try to figure out why the hell this Ubuntu EC2 is fucked up, and I literally cannot figure out why in the hell the damn clock is off.

Several days later notice a variable in the main .config file... right in root... 2 hour timezone offset.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

I haven't done any front end stuff in a long time (last time was before jQuery was popular), and since I had some free time lately I decided to check out React and see what it's all about. Turns out that first I had to go trough one week of reading about node.js, npm, jsx, es6/es2015, babel, webpack (and probably something else), but I finally got to React. So far I had no problems with any of this but I have no fucking idea how most of this stuff works behind the curtains and I'm scared.

Customer to me: "This should be right aligned, not left aligned. We need a fix on this 10 year old version, it's a blocker we can't do any work without it!"

Me to customer: "No. Not a blocker, minor change. We'll look at it next minor version."

Customer to boss: <repeat above>

Boss to me: "This is a blocker, check out the code and fix it today!"

FUUUUUUUUCK!
Minor stylistic changes are not goddamned fucking blockers!

I call this the "Jump; No; Boss Jump; Fuck!" effect.

Check this out :
Lib-A need Lib-C version 10.0.2
Lib-B need Lib-C version 9.0.0
And and ..
Lib-D need Lib-A some old version ..
And
Some other shit...my solution .. nuke the project start over and try to use as minimum libs as possible..

so…

let's make a translation website game thing

ooh! web hosting! check black friday deal!
buys website + hosting
~$100

oooh, let's check out google's translation api

>0.00001$ wtf no i aint paying that shitz or i wouldnt been a h4x3r

how can i work around this?
i know! ill make an iframe and input text as if i were a user

firefox: fuq u bish google isnt allowing framing for its translations

well gonna find another work around tommorow

maybe share the link too :)

git add . && git commit -m "Because we're constantly interrupted and because we are not given enough time to do things properly, I need to check in and out of branches all the time (because separate envs are actually separate branches now) and have to interrupt what I'm doing. So this commit message reflects that."

Marketing team built out some changes in the staging environment using the CMS, didn't test it, submitted a ticket for cloning with the note that they only changed the content of one page. I check and it works fine, complete the clone. Two weeks go by and I get a ticket saying one of the pages isn't working, I check and it doesn't work because it only exist in staging. Turns out they were hoping to sneak one by me and deploy something that they were trying to get printed for shipping that day in their original request. So now I have to spend the next hour running test, getting approvals, and deploying that page. I need to finish my CI/CD for this site.

"Hey check out this new javascript frame-..."

(: no

Why some people think it's fine to hire unexperienced people to do stuff, when there is no one in a company who could check if their code is fine?
Learning through active coding is fine. Until after two months later all you do is patching your code because you found out on stack that this is not a good way of doing it.

Nitrux OS
I feel that this piece of wonder isn't getting the recognition it deserves.
One of the most beautiful UIs out there, revolutionary tech like znx(booting from the main iso ALWAYS and keeping user data across reboots, in a nutshell) and it has weird ass virtualization stuff that allowed them to run windows with very little virtualization overhead(tech details yet to announce).

Imma stop here before getting labelled another fanboy, just check it out and see for yourself
Thanks for reading, i use arch btw

Check this baby out! Thanks devRant! ♥️

I was too concerned whether or not I should extend a feature, that I forgot to check if I could do so.

Now I've shot myself in the foot by breaking half of the feature and my only solution to make this work out as intented are quite ugly.

10/10 would do so again. Programming like a retard is the way hobby projects are meant to be. Best learning experience you could hope for.

Also, bless git for giving me a second chance in case I've gone full retard mode.

C# is getting so fucking obfuscated with these null check inceptions. Found the following in my company's code base. Why did it take me and 3 other devs an hour to figure out how to write this if statement into a flowchart?

if(!string.IsNullOrEmpty(a?.Id ?? b[0]?.Id))...😫😫😫

FYI: We figured it and also found some bugs with logic, but can you? I'll post our flowchart if ranters are interested.

So to add to the madness:
if(!string.IsNullOrEmpty(a?.Id ?? (b?.Any() ? b[0].Id : null)))...🤯🤯🤯

Why can't people just do their fucking jobs? How hard is it to understand? Managers keep time, resources and risks in check and inform the developers. Developers develop and test the system. How the fuck do we have manager for agile, manager for program a manager for program b, risk mitigation manager, this shit manager that shit manager . For fucks sake with this much management we should be like fuckin bee nest and not an unorganized mess. In the end it turns out that literally there are more managers than developers just because they cannot fire an incapable idiot and they hire the next one. It is plain fucking simple - if you are not fit for the job get lost or make yourself fit. For fucks sake.

It really makes me wonder are there any well organized companies out there?

Hey devs!!

I just can't stop myself from sharing this.

Its been two years now ... my junior is working. and now she is handling standalone WP projects.. but somehow her task got stucked so I was asked to help her.

So I just said check the count of variables and she messaged me with code .. Ma'am this isn't working .. Haha.. I mean come on she better can google out atleast for syntax :(

<?php if(count($content2 == 3) && count($interestt2 == 3))
{
print_r($content2);
print_r($interestt2);
}else{
echo "not checked";
}
?>

Fuck Airlines man !

I came 6hrs early to the airport as I had to check out from the hotel.
Then this ass airlines delays flight by 2hrs !
Luckily I have my laptop with me on this flight,sorted some work in the first 2 hrs, bt now I am fuckin done!

Aaaah ! Also the airport wifi is so shit,I can even do a google search properly!

"Check out these 7 things you can do to help you look younger"

Why is stuff like this on a Tech page?!

Symfony's book tutorials starts out way too invasive. For example:

Their CLI has a specific command for you to clone the book project's repository. This command won't run unless you have all their dependencies installed (including docker and yarn). In the end a good old fashioned git clone does the trick.

Next, before even writing a single loc, the book urges you to create a symfonycloud account and give them your credit card number.

Seriously what the hell.

Should I mail you a drop of my blood as well so you can check out my ancestry while I'm at it?

I just finished this app I was working on, an app which I was supposed to be working on with a friend who never committed. It pisses me off that he didn't put in any input. We were supposed to work on different parts of the app. I had everything planned out, on how to make a certain function. But right now I'm just happy because I have no idea how I got it to work without the functions and at this stage I don't wanna check ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So work this morning has been fun, we got an email from some about a change in their company and they CCd about 360 people in so you could see the emails (GDPR and all that) and then a help desk on one of the recipients picked it up, sent out an auto response to everyone, then another auto response from someone else went out and you can see where it went from there... About 100 emails later they sent out an email asking people to not reply to the previous email and are working with the companies to get the auto responders turned off

Life lesson today: check your emails before sending them!

Today I was orders to check out one of our applications. Accounting said that the Twilio bill was constantly increasing even if we do not get any new clients. In 10 min I found out what is the problem. All calls are recorded and stored in Twilio, which charges handsomely for such service.
Developers instead of downloading those recording to our data lake, use Twilio as storage, because no coding was involved.
Company lost around 30k dollars this year and around 10k-20k in previous ones, because someone was lazy to spend few days to download mp3 from url.

DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT USE "scapy.all" in python3.

I spend hours figuring this one out. In one commit i added tests and other tests not connected to my tests started failing. I ran the tests several times and also checked the rng-states, but everything was the same as on the commit before...
There was one additional error message i decided to check out, which was the result of "import scapy.all" (that's a module that contains all the scapy-exports). I removed that import and used the right packages and suddenly: all tests passed.

Fuck this inconsistent piece of crapware that has its python2-files in the pip3-repo and gave me that hell to debug.

i guess im learning COBOL now..
didn't even know, this language still exists, and is alive until the Lead of the Department came around and asked me if i know that language, because they have a potential customer Project.

Others said, i shouldn't do it, but i'm also curious.

At the very least i will check it out 🦕

Junior asks me to help him with his Microprocessors project. I was like cool mail it to me I'll check it out. He sends me a .s assembly file and tells me this is machine generated code, can you make it look like it's written by a human. I was like wtf dude -_-.

Guys check this out! Github has timeline now in 3d with awesome music!

I like style checkers. I really do. I may not agree with any of the rules they force upon the rules, but I will bury that for consistent code. That said, why, oh why, does this damn thing have to fail out the build rather than just warning me in the IDE. This fucker takes 15 minutes to build and when it fucks the build, it's a huge waste of time.

That said, anyone know how to get check style rules out of Maven and put them in IntelliJ? Myself and my team would love you forever.

!dev !rant

Helicopter! :3 🚁🚁🚁

If pixels were triangles, instead of squares, would this be considered pixel art? 🤔 actually no, dumb question xD sorry.

(Btw, the game where I created this is called Monogolf. It's a mobile game, it's cool, so check it out if you want! [not sponsored]) 💙

This freaked me out... I am watching a video when I decided to check out medium... And what is the top story about? The V8 Engine....

I am learning to use Node.js

TeamLeader : "Come two seconds"

TL : "I'd like you to check that out when you do that"

Me: "But it's your job to do this"

TL: "Yeah, but I'd like you to just check in case I forgot"

THEN DO YOUR FKING TASK PROPERLY WHATS THE POINT IF YOU FORGOT AND I DO IT

Edit my english sucks