Best quotes from IT teacher:

- "C# is a language to program your IDE."
- "C# is a language for beginners, and is not really used in production."
- "We won't use Python to learn programming, because Python is a very old, slow and useless language, and is not really used anymore."
- "Yeah, your algorithm is fantastic, but you wrote 'The answer is: ' instead of 'Answer: ', so it's just a B."
- One of my classmates was bored and opened Notepad++, and when the teacher saw it, she said "I have been teaching programming for years, but I've never seen this program, what do you use it for?"

I feel so lucky that I have started learning programming years before at home, I just couldn't start if I had to learn this way.

I'm assuming this is a repost. But regardless, how the hell have I never seen this before?!
This is the best desktop ever!!

I love how the people on here are pretty much always nice.
Yes, there are some *wink AlexDeLarge* who use strong language, some dirty jokes and sometimes there are topics where people don't agree on but I've never seen any honest insults or toxic behaviour (other than the opinion on your shitty client or boss lol).
No annoying trolls (the nearest to a troll I know on here is Jase but he's fun and mostly welcome here).
No spam/ads from users (only maybe recommendations).
And the most unbelievable thing is that devRant itself is free, adfree and based on the community voluntary donating for the server and work costs.

Dude, devRant fucking rules.

** The most hilarious authentication implementation I've ever seen **

They stored password in cleartext, but never mind, this is sadly quite common.
For some reasons credentials were also case insensitive (maybe to avoid silly tickets from CAPS LOCK lovers?).

Then I had a look to the query executed during the login:
SELECT * FROM users WHERE username LIKE ? AND password LIKE ?;

So I tried logging in with user "admin" and password "%"... and it worked!
I laughed all the day.

This genius made his very own super-flexible-and-versatile-never-seen-before-mvc-framework, with no documentation about the code, instead of just donwloading and implementing a popular one.

He left the company.

I maintain it.

Fell my pain.

A couple of weeks back, I met some of the kids from my old school. They had joined together to form a small team and were designing and deploying websites for local businesses.

Turns out that they were mailing each other and using Dropbox to manage the source code. This had been going on nearly for an year.

I spent a couple of hours showing them how to use git and gitlab. Basics on committing, pushing, pulling, branching and merging.

I will never forget the look on their faces! They had seen God and its name is Git.

Me visiting a bar...

While going for a smoke...
Woman: Can I ask you a very impolite and downright rude question..?
*expects a Facebook hacking question*
Me (hesitant): .. sure, ask ahead...
Woman: I've never seen you here before. Who are you?
Me: *tells name*
(thinking) not what I expected! (:
Woman: So you're living mostly on the internet?
Me: yeah pretty much... 🤔
Woman: So I live here next to that lawyer...
Me: I don't know most of the area here, where's that?
Woman: Why don't you look it up, hmm? 😜

Quality pwnage!! 😆

Read till the last! Never seen such poetic error message ever!

Friend asked me, "How does it feel being the CTO of a startup?"

Me: "I feel like the main character in one of those cartoons where train, going full speed, is running out of rail road, so he takes rails from behind the train and puts them in front. And the entire thing is on fire. And everyone you hire is trying to put it out with gasoline."

Friend: "Doesn't your CEO help?"

Me: "Well... He had never seen a train before, and he thought they operate on magic and wishful thinking. And he never realized they need rail track to even run. So... not really"

Friend: "So, it's pretty bad, ha?"

Me: "It's great actually. We just closed our seed round. We're about to launch beta. I might even get 5-6 hours of sleep this weekend 😅"

*Doing a Peer Code Review of someone senior to me*

Me: This fix doesn't look like it will work, but maybe I don't understand. How does this fix the defect?

Senior Dev: *Blinks* It works on my machine

Me: But how does it work?

Senior Dev: It works when I run it on my machine...

Me: Do you know if this will fix the issue?

*Silence*

Never seen QA punt an issue back to development so fast.

One more reason I love devRant..
Never seen rate this app annoying pop up ...

So I have this best friend who is almost 10 years younger than me. (I'm turning 40 this month). He's a full stack web dev, nodejs-god, react-maniac, you name it. He fucking LIVES to code the most amazing shit I have seen to date.

I, on the other hand, am that old, little overweight PHP coder webdev with a shitload of experience in that field (17th year now), also with linux webserver administration and all the JavaScript knowledge I need in m job.

Sitting next to him and doing some fun coding sessions always makes me feel like I am that "slow, fat kid in class"... while he is the coding master.

Sitting at work (marketing agency) where I started as the new webdev 10 months ago, I still feel like the coding guru because even the web 'developers' don't know jack shit yet (coz they never had to).

It's fine, they are learning and want to learn.

All I wanna say that even though one might be seen as a senior dev by some, he might sometimes feel like a junior dev when he's around others.

First time I've seen an app which willingly, intelligently, and sensibly turns off its own daily notifications after I never used their app for many many weeks.

Props to the devs for taking into account people like me,who are just too lazy to disable an app's notifications. Also Enki is absolutely incredible for devs so go check it out :D

When I was in college I built websites for my friends but they never gave me any content. Now, 15 years later I build websites and applications for my clients, and they never give me content. I should have seen the signs.

Coworker asking for my help on a crm framework I have never seen before. She was banging her head on the monitor by 1 hour. I read the stacktrace of the error (Java), and 30 seconds later I solved her problem.

Guess who is going laid tonight?

Not me, because she's engaged.

What is it with clients who have never even seen a single line of code in their entire lives telling me how long they believe a certain change request should take to code.

I mean, what if I told you that your "seemingly simple enough" change needed an update to 36 class files, 9 oracle stored procedures AND several database schema changes. Also, who the fuck is going to perform a regression test to make sure I didn't break anything? Your Uncle Bob??

Do you really expect that I can debug in a few minutes, a part of the software that I didn't build and have never seen before and have no knowledge of the external, third-party web service that code is reaching out to?

Dude, flippin' chill, take a walk, grab a drink, pop some popcorn and give me some time to figure out what the hell this code is doing so I can properly debug it!

You know what it turned out to be? Wrong test data used for the 3rd party service. So in essence... Nothing was wrong! Frickity frack!

My team's program for the Coding Contest.
Seriously.
Need I say anything other than

List<KeyValuePair<int, KeyValuePair<int, ...>>>

and

var v = list.Key.Key.Key.Value
var w = list.Key.Key.Value

?

But eh, it worked for the contest, that code is never to be seen again haha

I've never seen someone this desperate to show the splash screen

CS graduates that have never gone beyond "Hello World", fuck college and it's "system".

So the actual victims of the story are friends of mine, CS colleagues, but I can't help but share as the existence of code freeloaders enfuriates me.

At college in order to graduate you need to present a project in form of a thesis a side from your actual thesis, there is a shortage of pre-approved projects and everyone wants one.

A talented friend of mine who has many years of programming experience got in one with another friend of mine and a lady who I've never seen before. One Saturday night my friend and I were having some beers at a local bar and his phone didn't stop beeping so I jokingly said:

"Bro, tell your girl you need some space", he laughed and explained it was the chick from her project having some "issues" with node.

"So? Tell her to google it, it's Saturday night", he explained the girl has never coded before even though she's about to graduate so she had take it upon herself to pressure him to finish ASAP so she can graduate and get an already agreed position at the federal energy commission... As dev!

I've seen my bud in a lot of dumb calls with said chick trying to explain how you CAN'T COMPILE THE NODE WEBSERVER TO A .EXE!

It frustrated me how such an idiot can go through a CS major buying homeworks and getting low self-esteem geeks to code for her. Then I realized that as an aspiring InfoSec guy, lazy idiots coding is good for business.

Dear designers/project managers,

I am a developer. That means you don't have to explain simple programming concepts to me that you half know and think you fully understand as if I have never seen code before.

Save your breath and stop being so condescending. You don't know half as much as you think.

Thanks, from one annoyed dev.

Back the mid 90s at secondary school, a friend came back from holiday with a Casio CMD-40 TV remote control watch. It was like magic, no one had never seen anything like it before.

We pranked our history teacher so badly, changing the channels, volume and turning the TV off while we were supposed to be watching some video on Henry VIII or something (no idea, too busy PMSL).

We'd pass the watch round the class to keep em guessing.

In the end, school replaced ALL the TVs and were seriously pissed off, to this day I believe they had no idea it was us!

tl;dr: thanks! :)

I just love this community.
The idea of devRant is great. The emotions, the shared knowledge in each post. Never seen such densely packed quality content in a social media! :D
I enjoy spending my time here, though I do not post that much. Reading just about the life of @linuxxx, @gitpush @alexDeLarge (to name a few) share with us is just wonderful, it makes me happy! :)

I think this post is meant as a thank you, I guess? Just felt like it... hope you guys don't mind having read a non-dev related post.^^'

btw:
@dfox and @trogus, you guys are awesome as fuck!

Never seen anything more cringy than the "hacking" scenes in the new Fast and Furious movie... -.-

My friend left their macbook unlocked, so we parsed the entire story of Moby Dick into the text to speech and left it in the background on full volume. Never seen such a confused face in my life.

I finally realize why the managers at my work are so against remote work.

We've gone remote now and had a meeting yesterday that somewhat demanded people to be engaged. I have never seen such grown up and otherwise professional people act so irresponsible. Managers had to raise their voice towards 30+ year olds in order to get their attention.

I've been silently hoping that remote work would become more accepted, as a silver lining, during this Corona shit. But if this is common behaviour in other workplaces then I guess I can kiss that dream goodbye.

So you remember this Headless duck that found it's way into debugging? Well after a few more adventures of 3D printing, it evolved. Afew parts that never would have seen the daylight were added to his body.

Say hello to: Lt. Duckfix

The client requested an ability to create reports in the app I had been working on. It was completed to their specification and they were happy with it for about a week.

Then, they asked me to redo the report, changing various components around so I told them it can be done, but is time consuming because they're essentially asking for a completely different report.

Now, they never even looked at the code before and the extent of their coding knowledge is excel formulas. Their repond to me was "it's easy, just reverse the loop."

I simply did not know how to respond. "Just reverse the loop." ...I mean it's so simple, just reverse the loop... It doesn't matter that I've spent a good amount of time on this already, or that the client have never seen the code, doesn't understand coding, doesn't care about programming, none of that matter. ...just...reverse...the...loop...

Sometimes I feel like a freak. So many rants are about things that just never seen to happen to me.
I've been using Windows 10 since release, never had an update while I was working.
I've never gotten a virus from an ad, abs don't use AdBlock.
I've never had a crash that lost my work, I save neurotically or the program automatically saved.
I've never had trouble with typing in any language, static or dynamic.
I've never had issues with semicolons, IDEs or compilers tell me the issue explicitly.
I guess I'm just weird or something :/

"WTF IS THIS?"

Exclaimed the developer that had never bothered to learn proper architectural patterns such as MVC in his web development are, failing to grasp the folder structure that was open in front of him, gasping at those strange php files that contained not only namespace declarations....but requires, uses and GASP! CLASSES!!

"That is Laravel my dude, built that in Laravel some time ago. Been running without an issue ever since." I mentioned as I reminded him that i had provided documentation had he ever needed to update or work with the application(currently it just needed a static page, which is why he had the app open in his editor)

See children. This is why you don't just learn a tool and never bother to learn something else.
Y'all should have seen how confused this dude was.

Das what yo dumbass gets.

OAN I am getting placed into more hardcore Business Intelligence roles.

The ammount of statistics and overall math required is....

Damn near 0. Data Scientists are full of shit. Anyone in an analyst role is full of shit.

I would know.

I IS one.

!rant.
Here's some useful git tricks. Use with care and remember to be careful to only rewrite history when noones looking.

- git rebase: powerful history rewriting. Combine commits, delete commits, reorder commits, etc.

- git reflog: unfuck yourself. Move back to where you were even if where you were was destroyed by rebasing or deleting. Git never deletes commits that you've seen within at least the last 50 HEAD changes, and not at all until a GC happens, so you can save yourself quite often.

- git cherry-pick: steal a commit into another branch. Useful for pulling things out of larger changesets.

- git worktree: checkout a different branch into a different folder using the same git repository.

- git fetch: get latest commits and origin HEADs without impacting local braches.

- git push --force-with-lease: force push without overwriting other's changes

The title doesn't promise too much: eclipse indeed has multiple problems. I've never seen this kind of "nested exception" before :-D

In highschool we pasted a shutdown batch script in someone's startup folder. Never seen someone more confused than when his pc force shutdown every time he restarted. All fun and giggles until system admin walked in

Today I have opend a foreign project and noticed a weird bracket ending style.
All closing curly brackets are indented one level further to the right.
I've never seen that style before. Normally I am really agnostic about bracket styles.
I don't care. But this one is so strange and confusing that I wanted to know what you other devs think about it.

I have just got the stickers and my father though that the letter is from some university. I have never seen someone so disappointed :P

btw. thank you guys , they are amazing

I've dealt with dusty computers, REALLY dusty computers, computers owned by smokers.

I've seen dead beetles and earwigs and spiders with their cobwebs in computers and dealt with them.

I've even seen live moth larvae wriggling about in a computer.

But never, have I ever had to deal with fluids. Until today.

I had to take apart a laptop that had been used as a toilet by a cat. It was still wet, but not warm.

And I had to try to get data off of it. But no, the urine was not compliant.

So, already pissed off customer was less happy about the fact that her data would still be a few days away from recovery to a new computer.

At least her frustration wasn't at us.

Me (experienced java dev) in an interview..

C: „what’s the difference between equals and equals equals and equals equals equals in js?“
Me: *i explained it perfectly*
C: „what’s the difference in Java between equals and equals equals and dot equals?“?
Me: „sorry, I don’t know. I’ve never ever seen .=„..

About 15 min after the interview, I was like: „holy moly fucking shit, please shoot me.. he meant .equals.. not .=....

For the devs: I‘M FUCKING STUPID!!!!

For the beginners: THATS the importance of „context“!

Never seen anything like this before.

We were already working overtime all Saturday. Boss came in the evening to demand some ridiculous shit. Me and senior dev agree it's ridiculous. It's already 1 am Sunday. I already explained to him why it doesn't make sense so he suggest more changes that doesn't even solve his initial problem. He asks me if I can do it by Monday morning. I can't. He suggested way too many breaking changes that I don't even agree with and I have to sleep like a normal human being.

I shit you not, he says he will do it himself. This guy barely even codes and has never seen a single line of code for this project. I didn't stop him. I went home and slept.

End of rant.

If you haven't seen silicon valley... Do... For the love of God do.

And if you don't like it one... We will never get on, it's god damn hilarious ... Constantly

3rd time I've watched them all

It's perfect.

Thomas had never seen such bullshit before

I honestly don't understand people. They are unable to understand easy to use apps when you provide clearly labeled labels yet they use apps like Snapchat which apart from being the worst designed app I have ever seen (it brings SD820 to knees) is unintuitive as hell with no difficulty. How is this even possible.

Also on a side note, go fuck yourself Snapchat. And if any of Snapchat devs are reading this: " go fucking kill yourself. You don't deserve to live after creating such a piece of shit. Even a fresh out of college intern does better job than you. You think this is good? I have never seen anything worse than it. Even fucking in-house government apps are miles better and more intuitive than you. All your ripoffs from Instagram stories to facebooks new clone and others are better than you. Whoever thinks this POS is good enough deserves to be burnt."

Boss: how long would it take you to make an app with this tool you have never seen before?
Me: idk, I've never used that.
Boss: OK so how long?
Me:.. Uh.. 3 weeks?
Boss: you got 2 weeks. Start tomorrow.
Me:... OK then..
Inner me: why does he even ask?
...Fml

A few months ago, I changed my laptop from Windows to a dualboot of Windows and Linux (NixOS). Since then, Windows has never seen the light of day.

Best decision I've ever made - Windows is useless.

At a previous job, we had a CTO and in a meeting of all the department heads, we all realized we have a CTO that knows about as much about tech as the pigeons do.

I’d always seen the confused emoji, I however never knew an actual human being could look like it, I’ve seen confused people, but on this day I saw a living 🤔…

How did I manage to achieve this result, I told him you can’t copy AngularJS code into a Flutter project, I then proceeded to tell him you also cannot copy it into a react project. I think I broke his brain.

Oh and yes, I worked at a development house, all the department heads were developers except for the QA head.

Men of DevRant, do you think it's OK to try and pick up women on LinkedIn?

A guy, who claimed to see me on Bumble, message me on LinkedIn about "wanting to get to know me". My rarely used Bumble profile doesn't have my family name, nor my real job title or my workplace. Which means the dude also had to indulge in some high-level stalking to get to my LinkedIn profile.

I've seen some cute guys on LinkedIn, that if we had a pleasant interaction in a conference for example, I would totally ask them out. But it never crossed my mind to even try and chat them up on a professional platform.

Am I too conservative or is this just inappropriate?

Coworker was helping me getting used to XQuery, which I‘ve never done before. In the middle of the task he looked at his watch and said, that he has to do a phone call and left.
That was the last time I‘ve seen him.

It happened me a few years ago. I live in the Netherlands, but I am Hungarian. My new "friends" asked me to fix their laptop. I did it for free. It turns out, it was a huge mistake. In the next half a year I've solved several issues to them and to their family members (I don't get it, how they can ruin a well working hardware and software that fast, but it is another story). It takes a lot from my free time at the end. Then I had enough and ask some money to fix the next laptop. The price wasn't high, a bit more than a half of the repair shop's price. They tried to press me to do it for free, cos "you are our friend and you are hungarian too, we have to help each other out". I said no. It is too much. I've never seen them again...

*plugs the mouse in a different USB port.*

My Laptop: I've never seen this mouse my entire life.

"Never touch a running system". I can't believe how many times I've seen this advice here. How the fuck are you supposes to upgrade, improve stuff? This is why stuff like WannaCry happens.

Oh my god.

This is simultaneously the best and worst welcome dev screen I have ever seen. I totally want to get an Angular/React/Java tatoo on my neck, grow out my beard a bit, start drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and drive a Volvo 240.

...And my coworkers can never see this splash screen or I'll never hear the end of it. 😥

I'm partially color deficient, which means I can differentiate most colors, except when there is a low contrast between them.
The genius freshers in my company (well, they joined at the same time as I did, but I still call them freshers because they never goddamn improved since they joined). Anyway, these freshers thought it'd be a great idea to take design decisions upon themselves and chose the shittiest colors ever for designing a complicated interface with the most horrifying color palette you'd have ever seen.
Everytime I'm asked to debug this page, I have nightmares as they explain things to me in terms of colors :/

Never ever open a computer while breathing...
I got a ticket to fix a computer from the production line that was turning itself off...
When I opened it, a dark dust from hell came right into my lungs... There were more dust in there than I've ever seen in my entire life... Combined...

I'm still sneezing 3 hours later, and a few black spots keep coming out with everything else...

I spent the last 3 months trying to hire new developers for my team. I found someone experienced who is great and a graduate, who is, well, a graduate.

For some reason he thinks he knows everything about our framework he has never used and seems to think he knows how everything works in our codebase which he has never seen.

That’s fine. I’ve had my share of cocky developers.

But what confuses me is that when I ask him what critical bugs are left, he reels off two significant ones. I ask what it will take to fix it. Of course he says he knows how to fix it. So I say great. Then fix it and let’s move on to a more fun part of our project.

Suddenly he didn’t know where he problem was and so I told him he had to investigate and come back with something concrete.

It’s just frustrating managing this developer who is deceitful.

I know it's not trending anymore but talking about poor products - the Pokemon GO app! I mean, that shit is the Windows Vista of apps. Never before have I seen a product that crashes on the simplest gui tasks.

And after a month they finally roll an update which consists of.. "Minor text fixes"! $#%!

I have never seen anything like this before...and I don't want to see this again.

I've seen many devs doing crazy things in my entire career till now. But this one dude stands out.
He used to:
- Push binaries to git repo
- Use some old libraries which were used during Indus Valley civilization
- Had no sense of database and used to delete random data from it and call it as TESTING (Thank God! I never gave him prod access)
- And on top of this, he had an ass full of attitude!

First day after 3-4 hours:
"Our bathroom were out of the office and needed a badge to get in and out of office."
Him:"Hey i need to go the bathroom can you help me?"
P: "Sure".

Never to be seen again

This append to my colleague after redocking.. Never seen such a resolution! I laught so hard.. X)

Apparently, this is a leaked image of the new Edge.

We've never seen this before lmao

> My company started posting things on LinkedIn. That's cool.
> My company started asking us to like and share said LinkedIn posts. Okay.
> Since I'm already on I decided to update my LinkedIn profile following some advice I've seen and including some key words. Coolio.
>> Now I keep getting recruiters wanting to be added to my network 🙄 not cool.
I've seen so many posts about recruiters being annoying on LinkedIn and never understood until now. I think I'm going to go back to having a crappy profile so these people don't find me

Well I just had a breakdown a few hours ago.. For a too calm guy like me it's really rare, but also not surprising. I have my third deadline in a row, haven't really seen people over the last month. Thanks guys for helping me survive socially during this month, I'm a very social guy usually, so I really needed that.
Apart from that, last time I was hopeful about my schedule and sent it to my advisor she called me the day after shouting that it's not realistic and I'll never be done on time. I could have worked harder on February, that's true, but for fuck sake she ruined all of my motivation in a 10 minute call.
I wish I liked what I'm doing. I wish people I work with would have appreciated what I'm doing and encourage me. I wish I was 2 weeks to the future when I have not even a slight thing to worry about.
Get me outta here 😩

I have a co-worker who negative-indents his function bodies. Minus four spaces. Every function. Not an IDE thing either, he does it intentionally.

I've never seen anything like it.

!dev

My toxic father. Seriously man. It's my 4th day of learning to drive with an instructor. He sits besides and never knew how to drive. I think I am driving good wrt to being very new in it. He thinks just because I slow myself down on the road and cannot take a turn properly, let me say it again, on the 4th day of driving a manual car, he thinks I can never drive. What a fucking douchebag. What a fucking coward, impatient human says that. I am in rage because now I'm like 27, but in my childhood he was at his worst behaviour. That's why I was always scared of doing complex things, I stick with easy because I will make no mistakes. He has fucking no right in being proud of me. He's so fucking bad, I hate him. But more than hating him I want to find a way not to give a fuck about his fucking small discouraging shameful opinions. Fucker cannot do anything by himself. He's the most messed up fucking person I have ever seen. And oh god I fucking resent this guy.
I should start calling him a fucking retard that way I can devalue him as a person. I could never thought that I will think about a person like this but this retard left me no choice.
The thing is even a person is a retard I will try to understand them so give me a good word that just devalues a person instantly.

f**king people asking to design admin panel colorfully with these f**king psd images, I was like literally crying inside, I have never seen such a damn f**king admin panel. f**k off managers

Who else has never seen Stackoverflow's homepage?
😂

Fucking React Scripts, "yOu hAvE mUlTiPlE VErSiOnS oF bAbEL-JeSt, Use nPm Ls Jest To TrACk It Down"

Ok you dumb fucks:

npm ls babel-jest
react-typescript@1.0.0 /Users/chris/Downloads/8sleu4
└─┬ react-scripts@4.0.3
├── babel-jest@26.6.3
└─┬ jest-circus@26.6.0
└─┬ jest-runner@26.6.3
└─┬ jest-config@26.6.3
└── babel-jest@26.6.3

OH LOOK THEY ARE BOTH IDENTICALLY 26.6.3 STOP BUILDING AN OPINIONATED PILE OF GARBAGE IN YOUR COCONUT TREE FUCKED UP FALSE PARADISE YOU CALL SILICON VALLEY!!!!!!! I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A BUNCH OF GARBAGE!!!! I'D PREFER A TOOL WRITTEN BY KINDERGARTNERS IN CRAYON!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EVERY

SINGLE

TIME

REACT SCRIPTS

BREAKS

So I've taken over a project, well, not really taken over, we've been hired to add more functionality to a Wordpress site.

I have never seen such a messy code in my life... variables have mixed languages, indentation is a mix of tabs, 2, 3 and 4 spaces, camelcase, snake case, short names, long names. ' and ", no spaces after commas (gotta save those bytes doode)
Almost like it has been copypasted from everywhere.

I think I said 10-15 hours for it. I think I will spend a lot more time tidying up this code.

Hey, look, 3 index files!!
index.php
index__backup.php
index__backup_2.php

I don't dare to look into the CSS or JS, but I know I have to

I've fallen in love with the EPIC games launcher, it not only shows you detailed information about download, read and write speeds, but also the distribution of operations! Never have seen that in a game launcher, steam blizzard origin etc should take notes!

Project Leader is explaining to teammate how their UI will call my API and it'll run asynchronously in the background. UI guy asks: about error handling? I said the callback listener will be notified if anything goes wrong. I ask the PL, what next? just log and forget about it (that's my sarcasm)? How would anyone know this has failed?

PL says: good point and can worry about this later. Lets first focus on getting things to work.

You know later never comes. Well, except when the customer reports a problem. Its like every disaster movie you've ever seen before

Whenever we need something at the office, like someone to change a lightbulb or fix the printer or whatever.....

The techs literally come running lmao

These b the perks of the manager being absolutely gorgeous lmao. It really does help and I have never seen such effective motivational variable

Joined a game development Facebook group just for shits and giggles to see what sort of hell I can see on there...

Never have I seen so much broken English or the amount of people asking for help to build a shameless clone for Android just to get money... Really makes you think sometimes...

So I'm flabbergasted at the current trend of non-native Linux gaming becoming so stable and performant. In these past few months, I've witnessed stability akin to native support on games I had never expected to run well on Linux before.

DXVK had its initial release in January 2018, and so far every single game I've thrown it at has run so well that I forget it's non-native.

With front-ends like Lutris, it's easier than ever to get these non-native titles configured perfectly - to say nothing about what Proton offers for UX.

What will the 2nd year of DXVK bring? Extended Support for Windows 7 ends in one year - and I've never seen such stability and capability from Linux gaming parity.

Had a blast from the past the other day. Testing an issue with an AngularJS app in IE11 on a project managers Surface.

Nothing works. Just a blank screen. I open the JavaScript console to hundreds, maybe thousands of errors. They all seem eerily familiar, but I can't place them. It's like something from a past life.

Then I see one that brings the issue into sharp focus.

"{{variable_name}} is a reserved word"

No it isn't, I think. That hasn't been a reserved word in JavaScript since...

Me: "Is your browser in Compatibility Mode?"

PM: "Yeah, it's for one of our legacy programs"

Me: "You need to turn that off to test this app. It thinks you're using IE6, so it's having a 2 decade old shit-fit. I haven't seen those errors since I was a teenager making crap on Geocities"

I never thought an error message could make me feel so old 😩

Went for a job interview today, and learned something very important about myself...

...that I should be permanently banned from writing code on whiteboards, for any reason. I have never seen such ugly code in my entire life. Ugh...

My new favourite quote...

"I can't be the only one worried about the deadline"

By boss speakign ot my team who is expected to deliver 6-8 months worth of work in 5 weeks time...

Too bad he does not know he IS the only one worried, when you going to miss a deadline by that much when you never agreed to it in the first place, have not seen a single API and the scope is still actively changing and lets not forget we have no DevOps yet...
why the fuck would you worry...

My roommate is a damn wannabe programmer: he keeps talking about how much he’s passionate into technology, buying hardware, spending hours into arranging his workstation to be as “cool looking” as possible, talking about future big projects, he even wants the fucking Java and Arduino logos embroidered in his backpack the only issues are that I’ve never seen him spending time in a project which going beyond literal hello world and if I offer him help to help and improve (I’m an employed programmer) he refuses because he’s tired/lacks time (but always make it for Netflix). I’d be still ok with that because I believe in living and letting live but now every time he starts to bore me with his lengthy stories about projects he’ll never do I imagine him with a big clown nose 🤡

I was trying to understand the source code of aircrack-ng which is written in C today.
Suddenly I saw sth strange !
WTF !! what is #ifdef ??? I've never seen that before !
So I told myself : hey ! You have to download a complete C programming course!
so I did , but when I skimmed through the titles , again:
WTF ! I know all of them! So why the fuck I could not fully understand the code ? Where can I find anything I missed ?

So... I'm asking U :)

Just had a junior/mid dev who worked in our company for around 3 months quit because in his words "he is unable to win any argument".

I saw his comments in MR's and other seniors were just being meticulous. Had he compromised a little or atleast got to knew the devs in person and took this offline most of his problems would have been resolved. Never scheduled any meetings before implementing stuff, he just followed his gut and then shot himself in the foot plenty of times.

Personally I think it wasnt even a skill issue but a communication issue. We have a relaxed culture where u can work in the office or fully remotely so the guy came in on his first day, picked up his laptop and we never saw him. Tried to invite him for an afterwork beer or some activities, he never accepted.

If he had met the devs in person he would have seen that:

1. One guy has OCD and he never agrees with anyone but if theres a timeline hes able to make compromises and hes actually chill
2. Second guy is also a perfectionist but has mentor capabilities and you can always go to him about anything and he helps to mediate with the first guy. You can run everything through this guy and he will never give you shit
3. Third guy in the team is just a junior hotshot whos a bit insecure and disagrees in comments just because he can. But he can be dealt with very quickly with showing a little backbone.

Like seriously these are just people that you can deal very easily when u know their personalities. Instead he saw everyone in company as these 2D robots that he wasnt able to win his arguments against.

Communication shouldnt happen only in standups and MR comment section. U have to learn to deal with people otherwise u will burn urself out like this guy and quit.

I thought any fledgling dev could become a good one with enough team guidance, frequent discussion on ideas and reasoning with seniors, experience, and work variety

But one I know is proving they don't have the knack.

I really wanted to believe anyone could be a good dev if they tried hard enough but this one is just...

They've dragging us down.
Not paid enough to make it my problem to raise it with management. I've tried to help them grow but I've never seen such slow growth despite the different learning/teaching styles *we've* done to improve their capabilities (the entire team)

I dread working with them and I'm not alone apparently

Got a mathematics library I develop and maintain. Someone filed a feature request ticket for matrices of matrices. As in, each value of the primary matrix is another matrix. Not understanding why anyone would need such a convoluted concept, I asked for clarification.

Response: "This piece of shit library isn't feature complete without it, now stop being a lazy fag in your mother's basement and actually do something"

Lololololol. Sure thing. Let me go waste two or more weeks of my life developing something i've never seen used in math, without any justification beyond "feature".

I have never seen a platform that inflates the self importance of it's users as much as Twitter.

Never put a thing on your CV that you don't actually know. I've seen many people put a lot of languages that they don't really know, just to impress the interviewer and get rejected.

Also, be confident..... even when you are bluffing.

And I go like I can swear I've never seen this before

I was playing kitchen with my niece today and we were baking a cake. After she put it in the toy oven, without thinking, I spat out:

"How long do you think it will build for?"

I've never seen such a confused look 😂

The world is full of write-only devs. People who never look at the code they create or change.
That's the only explanantion I can find for the fact that everytime I look into some code I have never touched or haven't seen for a while, I instantly spot at least one error that is so elementary, that there is absolutely no chance to miss it.

Started to learn nodejs REST, with mongodb, either the service is too light (still only has login) or mongodb is too fast, I've never seen that speed in fetching a single user with 6 properties in its json response, it takes 15ms on my laptop when a dot net core service + MySQL takes at least 70ms

Decided to go flexbox despite issues with Safari 6 (global usage at 0.02%). The boss, its wife, a friend of them and a coworker NEVER UPDATED Safari on its devices and send tons of angry emails with captures of the broken site. This is the biggest 0.02% ever seen!!

I recently started working on a 3 months old project, that was outsourced to two Indians genius. One of them left just before I arrived.

I had the chance to discover those guys were not using any version control system, just exchanging a zip file. I don’t even talk about the codebase, never seen such a mess …

Even better the project managers, were not using any IT program to follow the project advancement, but just Excel!!!

After a few days I realised that the remaining dev was not committing anything, the guy was always lying, (so many people died around him + some emergencies)

So, the guy got fired, but don’t worry management found new genius to save the project 🙂

Can someone tell me if outsourcing is really working?

The project which I took over from the previous team had exactly 1576 usages of an operator which I've never seen before after 10+ years of working in PHP.

Curiosity lead me to the php.net site to see what kind of advanced magic this operator does - only to discover that it's an error suppressing operator (@). They've simply used it as a default method for solving bugs and removing errors from the logs.

Took up computer course, never used nor seen a computer in my life. Was good at written tests, now first time to use the lab and first time seeing a PC

Prof: Today you're going to create your own bootable micro floppy disk. Afterwards you're going to load it with SideKick and PC Tools. Turn on the PC in front of you and insert your double density disks as soon as you see the C: prompt
Me: my disk won't go all the way in
Classmate: just push it in until you hear a click then it will lock
Me: still won't *pushes really hard until I heard a crack... my disk was inserted the wrong way... it did lock though*
Everyone in class looks at me and I start questioning my life choices. I could've sworn our Prof's face turned white

Started my new job as a devops engineer, its been al month and i have never seen the seen of aws console or travis ci, dont even have credentials for any company cloud services.

I guess i should change my job title to backend dev

!Rant

TLDR: What's your favorite REST API Documentation tool?

I'm about to start developing a really large REST API. I have never really had need to document my previous API's since they were small, self explanatory and had only me using them. Aside from this one being too large for me to keep track of there is also a remote team that will need to integrate with it.

Basically I need write exceptional documentation while using as little time as possible. I love postman and am planning to use it for documentation since I currently use it to test during development anyway but I have seen some really neat looking tools like swagger and apiary so I figured I would check for some other suggestions.

What is your current / preferred REST API documentation method?

Usually developers start in a team where there are senior and you are a junior who do things and ask things.
Then there's me that starts alone in a company to develop a software in a machine that you've never seen before (POS) with only 15 hours of preparation class, no documentation and with a apprenticeship contract.
I still didn't start but I brought the POS in my home to familiarize with it and in a week I still haven't be able to execute the sample application.
And you could ask, why did you accept if you aren't able? Well, I need money, he searched me through the high school (I had an high score so a lot of people search me) and he required only C, that I know. FML

Does anybody here recognize such a weird data format? I've never seen anything like this

Finally on vacation.

As an American the first surprise I got in Berlin is that Burger King serves beer. Never seen that ever back home. (Okay I was in Denmark on a plane but it still was cool darn it)

I've been thinking for the year about working here, but now that I showed up the idea is scaring me a bit. Go figure. 😭

I want to see more of Germany beyond Berlin, what do our German natives like here?

I can't understand the people who are in love with Qt. Did you ever actually use it?

It has shitty UI components (compare them with Microsoft WPF or even WinForms), and it is fucking full of bugs. Really. I've never seen that many bugs in other frameworks.

I'm a Linux guy, but try .net if you want to see what a great framework is actually like.

As much as I use my smartphone on the daily, I have never seen myself using it in my dreams.

!rant

Do any German Devs on here have a good example Arbeitszeugnis?

One of my previous employers basically said "write your own and we'll sign it".

I've never seen one, I'm not a native speaker and from what I understand there are a lot of subtleties to be careful of.

I have never seen a more ass backwads debugger than the one in Automation Studio. Shits desinged to only debug the cyclical part of a program. Bitch! I need to debug the init part! You worthless pile of freshly minted horse shit!

When your new build is compiling and just scooting right along so you think... sure, I could go for some food. No. Nope. Not even. It chooses the exact moment you leave to nope the fuck out completely with the most random compiler errors that you would have never seen had you just been sitting there in the chair. It's like it knows. Maybe next time I leave I'll promise to bring it back a taco.

React router is shit
I have never seen more retarded library.

Not only those suckers change the 100% of the API every fucking update for no reason, also they have the most fucked up documentation ever.

No search in the docs!!! Fucking bullshit examples with no such easy things like how to create nested routes.

Please, stop using this piece of shit, I'm tired of working with this fucking abomination. Hope they will delete their shit repo one day.

A previous colleague of mine had plenty of years in the industry as a Java developer, but somehow still had absolutely no idea what he was doing. We used to send screenshots of his PRs to each other just to give our eye balls something to roll about - I have never seen anything like it, anywhere.

After multiple warnings of never delivering a single thing he eventually "voluntarily" left the company. He now works at a school teaching programming to students. The circle is complete.

Childhood dementia is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
You’re fourteen. You don’t have mental disorders. You used to be sharp. Yet, you’re not really there anymore. But your mother didn’t smoke during pregnancy, and you did nothing to deserve it.

Your personality, memories, everything that makes you “you” just rots away. There is no cure. You’ll never fall in love, never have your first kiss, your first boyfriend, never travel the world, never be a prom queen, never marry, never have kids.

You’re dying, and you’re too far gone to realize it.

I have never seen a battery usage graph like this😃😃!!

I think I have never seen a splash screen that changed background color based on in-app dark mode setting, of course it is nice to get flashbanged, but it'd be nice not to either.

Wondering why I haven't received deposit for new job yet. Check for signed quote and contract... Yep, both there. Look I account program to see when I sent invoice.....

I haven't sent it yet!
I'm a dick!

So while everyone is posting their devdesk, here I'm contemplating whether to clean or buy new or just roll back and ignore I have never seen this.

I'm in a mudaphuking closed air conditioning room. Where did all this came from?

One thing when working with a ton of data:
If there is a slight, infinitesimal probability that something will be wrong, then it will 100% be wrong.

Never make assumptions that data is consistent, when dealing with tens of gigabytes of it, unless you get it sanitized from somewhere.

I've already seen it all:
* Duplicates where I've been assured "these are unique"
* In text fields that contain exclusively numeric values, there will always be some non-numeric values as well
* There will be negative numbers in "number sequences starting with 1"
* There will be dates in the future, and in the far far future, like 20115 in the future.
* Even if you have 200k customers, there will be a customer ID that will cause an integer overflow.

Don't trust anything. Always check and question everything.

Me: This element is ID located (and visible) in your page, so it must contain it.
Selenium: I've never seen that element!

There was a task of fixing up a payments page that features pretty complex logic. Initially it was like 200 lines of code, seems short but it was a fucking spaghetti mess. Never seen more cognitively complex code in my life.

So I delete the spaghetti and pull out the 500 lines fucking state machine. It works perfectly. It’s perfectly understandable even though it’s longer.

This is how I deal with problems. Shorter code isn’t always better code.

Just graduated in CS.
All jobs required experience in stuff I never seen/heard before (back then I didn’t know most job listings were copy pasted by people who knew less than me).
I felt so inadequate that I replied to a job offer as a seller as they asked only fluency in 2 foreign languages.

The company owner during the interview looked at me and told me I needed to look elsewhere, that mine was a good resume and then he dropped this:
“I can see you are a good guy, but for this job I need an asshole”

Back then it was very hard for me but now I understand

Rust is beautiful. Rust is also extremely difficult to understand. What the fuck are lifetimes?! I’ve never seen this shit before in my life.

Dont get me wrong I like C, but I've never seen so many different ways to do things where I cant even tell whats fucking happening in the snippet of code.

Excuse me, can you please tell me which ass-to-mouth fucking moron had this oh-so-damn-stupid idea to take something so un-fucking-believable nice and simple, swallow it entirely just to create that most-ugly stinking pile of darkest shit I've every seen in my live.

Bluetooth.

After paired, it actually never works at first try to connect from notebook or pc, windows or linux. It's just a big annoying pile of utter garbage. FUCK.

Starting a project with someone that programs like an idiot on steroids. Like, why are you using 20 switch statements to set a variable instead of of just a single line linear expression. I removed hundreds of lines from one of this ass's files. I've never seen such a complicated mess of garbage.

This is a story about my disappointment in modern GUI editors for desktop applications.

Well, first of all, I grew up with Delphi 5. Delphi has an awesome form editor. It's intuitive and works without any problem. It always does what you want it to do. Prototyping is really a problem of seconds here, even for people that never used it (I guess).

But the problem is that it is Delphi. Its so old, bloated, and most problems you'll ever have have been solved (through a hack) 20 years ago in some weird forum.

So I looked on and tried many other drag'n'drop gui editors.

The one for java is the biggest pile of crap I've ever seen. It slows down eclipse /intellij and does almost never do what I want. At least its not really intuitive.

Right after that, the one for C# (this xml Designer ) is okay-ish, but it's also not really intuitive and does not always what the user wants.

I also tried other ones. But I still miss an intuitive one that works without weird side effects.

I now can understand why the Web dev stack grows in the region of desktop apps. I can prototype stuff even faster in angular than in Delphi.
But shouldn't we improve the desktop stack instead of taking some bloated stack using a language that should have never existed?

!rant

I started learning Go language. I have never seen anything so beautiful in my life!!!

I teach military students how to operate a UAS control station and these things are as complicated as computers get. ATCA's and the most crazy stupid network setups I've ever seen. I have one month to teach a guy that's never even had a laptop... Basically giant server room that can fall out the sky from the push of a button.

We had a lab in middle school, 5th grade, I think, where they had a few Apple IIe computers.

I remember one day looking over at a smart friend's screen and he was playing a flight simulator. I'd never seen anything like it before. When I asked him how he did it, he showed me a computer magazine where all the code was published for it. He had typed the whole thing in and saved it to a floppy.

It was part of a turning point for me when I was deciding between social groups: wanting to be a dumb jock or wanting to be smart. Thanks to that kid's example, I chose being smart. It cost me dates with the hot girls later in high school when I should have been carrying a pager for all the teachers who needed me to fix their computers for them, but I made sure to cry all the way to the bank when I was eventually making six figures.

Ok GCSE finals are coming up and I take ICT. literally it's harder to fail than pass this subject. But some how half the class is failing it. One of the topics that a lot of the class are struggling with is web development. Honestly all you have to do is add 2 images and some text and you have 10 marks it's stupidly easy. So at the end of the class the teacher handed me some notes on web development that he thought might come in handy. Knowing me I just chucked it in my bag never to be seen again mainly because I already know a lot about web development and a lot of the time he's asking me why his code isn't working and I'm there mumbling "you forgot a semi colon" or something like that. So when I got home I decided to take a look at these notes and honestly this made my day

Tomorrow starts a new guy in my team (I am TL), but I have never seen him before! 😕

A coworker resigned during the hiring process and has had his last day today and I am overtaking his team because my boss is unable to set up a job profile.

180% of workload and even more new guys arriving (2 more in the next 2 months!)

No salary raise either...

FML

i transferred shitload of code from one class to another, stackoverflowed something and copy pasted it because i have never seen that this needs to be written like that, hit run compile, open up my logs expecting a mass crash and possibly explosion. it worked on the first try

Beginner mistakes?
Putting two single quotes together instead of a double quote

The whole CSS "centering" thing is so funny because that problem is easy per se but it can pop up in ways you've never seen before and you have to learn how to center your stuff for 9832 different situations

First thought about programming was in forth class in school, I was 10, and together with a friend we where planing on building a robot.

When we had a basic Idea on how the mechanics would work (theoretically but maybe not really practically sound) we started to consider how to control it. We had heard about computers but had never seen one but we figured out you could not just say, “go shopping” but rather had to break the problem down and doing that we came to the conclusion we would have to start with getting it to take a step.

We never got further as my family moved and I switched schools.

Later the same year I got to play with an actual computer, the Sinclair ZX80, 80 for the year.

A monster with 512 bytes of internal memory ... yes bytes, not kbyte.

And then things got going, after a few curses in Basic I finally got my own Spectra video 128, 14 years old and 2 years later I was teaching basic in ravening classes and I have been working with computers and programming ever since.

I'm always afraid to put apostrophe characters when naming things online, even if it is just a photo album.

Have you ever worked in a team that actually did everything right?

I have never seen anyone talk about a team in which things got done.

I'm a solo coder, so, don't really know either way. Sounds like mostly, teams are a mess b/c they aren't done right for the most part?

I dont know actually, but seems that way.

I've been working on an Emscripten emulation layer for a fledgling startup, and it's just a huge bitch. Seriously, Emscripten is the worst designed project I've ever seen. It embeds constants into a js file that it spits out. It turns out you can't fucking run the wasm that Emscripten emits without these magic constants from the js file.

Additionally, all the wasm imports that emscripten specifies are weirdly cased, with apparently no naming convention. They also use some weird, shitty vararg implementation when it already fucking knows exactly how many arguments are going to get passed to an import.

Also, there are a ton of broken things left over from when emscripten compiled to asm.js that they never bothered to replace with features from wasm. God knows how it even works.

If you think JavaScript is dirty, you have never seen Android Java

I hate React. I keep reading that people have problem of grasping it, but that's not the case for me. I get it, I understand it, but I hate with passion HOW it's done knowing how nice it's done elsewhere. What really triggers me is how ugly it looks, both from architecture and code level. To me it really say a lot when even code shown in documentation looks ugly, and while reading it you ask ourself constantly "why it's done this way?". When I read React being called an "elegant" solution something explodes in me. Did you saw Svelte? Vue? Damn, even Alpine.js?
I just cannot how overengineered this API is. Even doing simplest things there produces so much junk code written only because this is what library requires. Why? I feel like working with it is a punishment.
And scalability and maintainability? I've never seen large-scale projects more messed up than those wrote with React. And yes, you can blame teams working on them for lack of skills, but it is the library which encourages or not good practices also, and I've never seen such bad situation with other libraries/frameworks.

Teach useful knowledge !
Back in first year of engineering school (most of students weren't going to study CS), the introduction course we had was on recursive functions.
Like WTF.
Try to imagine the faces of guys who had never seen an 'if ... else' in their entire life.

I've never seen a better analogy in my life.

I never seen my high school friends about a year because of my project and community (with same topic). Then when I met them, I just realized that I never have social life. Still, I'm just a listener. I don't know how I tell about what I did last year, because I'm too afraid they don't understand.

Then I keep my mouth, just smiling, listen their awesome story about their jobs, family or their friends in college ....

I'm come back home, so lonely in here. I opened my laptop, then realised another things. I'm just communicated with scripts, with millions line of codes, with many library, with many issues about my projects, with those compiler ...

How you guys talk with non-IT friends? I don't even remember how I used to be their friends and laugh together

What a saddest night in my life ...

I saw Skype after 6 years. It's bullshit. I've never seen so bad app.

Never seen a URL like this. 🤔

Never seen a dev choke at interview, only fakers pretending to be devs.

Randomly grabbed a open source project off github (zip didn’t use git. Didn’t wanna accidentally request a merge with my garbage code) after talking to the developer on discord about a feature I thought would be cool and he welcomed me to try adding it since he was busy bug fixing the latest release
Never seen the language before in my life (before I started college) and egotistically assumed I’d be able to learn enough to add what I wanted. I was horribly wrong. The farthest I got was potentially understanding how I’d be able to add it as well as getting a placeholder checkbox for the feature in the options form

Soon got discouraged and zipped up what I attempted and put it in my code graveyard on my archive hard drive for a future attempt

Today in office one lady came to me and asked "how to reboot iPhone when it stuck?"
I'm android guy and using iPhone only for Dev purposes. So I never encountered such issues and was a bit confused.
Then I were smoking on the roof with coworker and asked:
- When last time you seen unresponsive android device?
- Hmm... I dunno
- And what about iPhone?
- Yeah, my wife's iPhone 7+ and daughter's iPhone 6 stuck regularly.
We laughed, but wtf?

Then I've tried to remember when Linux or Mac were stuck. Nothing.
Don't start holy war, please. Just noticed that.

Friday 13th. Superstition.

0655, got WFH laptop going. 0700, VPN'ed in. Bluescreen, first in ages. Yes, Windows, the hatred is mutual. Rebooted. Windows claimed memory fault, offered check, 40 minutes. Noped out. Started machine. VPN'ed in. Some strange script error that I'd never seen before. Rebooted. Script error again. Shut down machine, then rebooted, same problem. 0715, fuck, still wearing sweaters, my e-scooter not charged, and an important Teams call at 0800.

Got dressed, stuffed laptop into backpack, hurried up by foot. Took the bus. Fuck, the next connection on the change station just had gone off. Took a taxi to make it. Arrived at the company, plugged in the laptop, started with no issues. Had the important call.

Took the laptop to IT. Tested it with external network connection and VPN. Worked with no script error. Had it checked for RAM issues. No issue. WTF had happened in the morning?!

I wonder how much more profitable is this year for Corona brewers :)

just sitting in a car next to a shop. I've never seen this many folks buying sixpacks of Corona.

Looks like ESLint is all confused about my tabs and spaces. I've never seen this kind of error message where it expects the tabs to be the same number as the spaces indentation? I have it configured for 1 tab = 2 spaces.

So confused. Must fix. Red squiggles make my blood hurt.

Thomas had never seen such bullshit before (Insert name of that guy, who thinks Apple is hyped, and needs better password resets).

Honestly, when people say Indians are shit devs and write shit code, I could not really relate to that. I am an Indian, and I see pretty well educated, telented devs around.

Now I know why everyone else feels so.

I am sorry for his doings, people like him are the reason everybody hates us

Every developer I know from work and uni uses either Linux or Mac for development (most of them are web devs), never seen anyone using Windows for development purposes :/

How, what and why do you develop on Windows? Not bashing, just curious

Motorola:
It was the only company which used to provide great budget android smartphone with stock android and regular updates. (ranting this on my Moto G3) But from moto G3, they fucked up with promised android OS upgrade (shitty Lenovo)

Microsoft (for fucking with windows 10):
Still remember that first stable build of windows 10 released in 2015. After the first update they never stopped fucking with user's computer with different bugs. Still I haven't seen any build as stable as first one.

So at one point I worked for an online clothes store and their frontend developers were treated like the sun shined from their backsides, never a problem.
But the backend staff were treated like consumables, their PHP developer turnaround was insane, they'd come up bizarre reasons to let people go including one person who was fired because he argued with a director because how the director wanted their new feature to be programmed was simply broken.

Has anyone seen anything else like this?

!rant

So this has probably been asked loads of times but I've never seen it. When working on solo projects for yourself do you still use source control like git or mercurial?

I usually don't because when I do personal projects its usually filthy and fast development to prototype quickly.

However, this current project I'm working on I am using git and I'm finding that slowing myself down just to follow good practice is actually improving my code quality and my understanding of my own project.

In all the companies i worked at so far, never seen any employee (in any department) above age 50..maybe the ceo or some lawyer, but thats it.
Where do all the 50+ ppl go in tech?
I'm not sure the tech world will be what it is now even in 10 years.. but I'm just wondering do any of u guys think/worry about where we'll work when we stop being young and cool?
Looks like it's either u start your own business, which not everyone can, or..
what is option B exactly?!?

I fucking hate those cringy Indians commenting dogshit on almost every youtube video. Never have I even seen anyone more dumb than these retards. Almost every programming tutorial on youtube is infested with "plese sir pls teach me hw to hck i wnt to be a hckr" and "sir my phone no is xxxx and my email id is xxxx send me the cod plz". I mean even on css tutorial videos? seriously? No other third world country has such boneheads. I just hope each and every retard like this drops dead the moment they write stuff like this.

<anchor link> for `tel:` makes no sense to add a title tag but you almost have to so I add title="tap to call"> which of course will never get seen by a phone DOM. Hmmmm, what say you W3C?

One week in as an intern and all I've been doing is installing shit and acquiring permissions... The learning curve is fucking high, I don't know how I will manage to just start working with 20 products I've never seen before :/

Stupid stupid university custom exam IDE... first thing select a few lines hit tab oops replaces code with tab character... compile is alt+C and run is alt+R (never seen that before) and you have to go save -> compile -> run.. instead of just hitting run and last but not least it syncs your code with the server so every save file takes 3-5s at which time the editor freezes

ALSO NO DEBUGGER OR JAVA CONSOLE...

<rant>
Teacher at university told us to install bluej in a Java class. Never in my life have I seen something so irritating as this crappy thing. Your code can have 0 errors and it still doesnt compile.
</rant>

so... is ReScript just a bunch of butthurt javascript developers who couldn't hack it to learn TypeScript (older, better tooling, better community, massive support with library typings, etc.)

seems like just a lot of extra, seemingly pointless and useless differentiating syntax rules

why do we need to keep reinventing the wheel?

"Our type system is guaranteed to *never* be wrong."

seen statements like this way too many times in my career... welcome to programming pain world, i should just read the rescript issues on github just to get a laugh here

but again, just a 🤡 giving his two cents

update: confirmed, all i've found on the web is rescript shillers trying REALLY HARD to defend it, and mostly failing

I've got tens of thousands of lines (maybe hundreds 🤷‍♂️) in open source bits and pieces. Much of it my own, but also other projects.

Not seen a penny, but never expected to. That's not why I do it.

* yes, I have seen the new iPhone
* no, I'm still happy with my current one
* actually I think lots of high-end Android phones are very good too
* will you please stop talking about the sodding headphone jack you're driving me insane please stop please oh god it's happening again I did warn you but you didn't listen you wouldn't stop and now look what you made me do this is all your fault they'll never take me alive

Never seen a better description of how I code.

lord knows I have missed devrant. my dad dragged me away on business. the hardest part was parting with my PC. I felt it.........

we buy cashew nuts and have them exported for this random Chinese lady. tried discussing about computers to the village boys but none of them understand anything. everyone is surprised I have a whole computer to myself at home, most have never seen any and just nod their heads like they understand 😂😂😂.
my dad wants me to be a produce exporter I keep hearing things like "there's a lot of money here, if you want to start on your own I'll support you". but then it's hard for him to drop a penny so I can buy a proper PC that is used(I just needed something efficient). I kinda feel like this struggle will make my success story much more interesting but then, what if I dont succeed?

I was searching for reviews for MX Master, and have never seen so many gamers get pissed of by a mouse not being aimed at their demographic!

I've heard a ton of negative opinion on PHP, which I've never used, so much that if what I've heard is true I wonder why anyone would use it. I asked on dev.to whether there are any real good design ideas going into PHP and got 5 responders. They were all to the effect of "PHP is great because PHP can make websites". I think that says something about the number of good design ideas going into PHP. I'm uncomfortable forming a strong opinion on a language I've never used, but I've never seen signs this bad.

participating at an coding challenge.

the mission is to write an game solver for an game engine - in java. based on astar, pathfinding should be made possible by cloning objects.
never seen a so hardly misconcepted challenge, where character instances and their variables are static and contain uncloneable data😂 oh god what a waste of time realizing this bs

Why the fuck do people post questions on Stack Overflow and not accepting any answers while they 100% solve the question?? I posted a 10000% valid and working answer, and the OP just never accepts my answer or anything. I'm sure he saw it cuz I clicked his profile and saw "last seen 10 min ago." WTF??

"I'll buy the new iPhone because of its RAM"
"What amazes me of my new iPhone is its wonderful processor"
"I bought my iPhone because it let me free to do whatever I want"
- nobody, never

Seriously, have you ever seen someone saying that? Why the hell we nerd post things about how much is technically poorer an iPhone if compared with other phones when actually nobody cares about this? Come on, I'd never buy an iPhone as well, but I don't think this is the best way to change the other people' mind, I'm pretty sure that will increase the popularity instead.

One of the projects that I have to do this semester is a React-Native, I was very eager to start coding until a friend of mine got an error never seen before, when he googled the problem, literally in StackOverflow somebody posted the same issue just about 2h ago, still with no response. This is going to be a fun ending semester project.

PS: this project is going to have a Lisp code project connected somehow

My team is forcing pair programming. From past experience, it's never worked for me, it slows down my work by 10x because of my sporadic programming style.

Seniors and Architects, what are your thoughts? I've seen it do wonders for novice devs, but the return seems to decline with experience.

So I have a colleague who never tests and claims to not have time. I've sent him various emails with errors and their solutions, because he keeps breaking my finished code and I'll find out about it by pure luck. I've informed my team lead, I've also informed HR when he got downright nasty in email. But it feels nothing gets done. Today again I get finished code back because the save function is broken. Again changes that weren't tested were made. I'm so sick of this! Do I really have to escalate this to the CEO because nobody takes responsibility? The colleague is a junior in his first role and without a degree. But in the half year I've worked here I've not seen him improve, and he recently had his one year work anniversary :/

Guys, im in a recruitment process and monday will be the last interview with the CTO.
The position is for a Senior .NET Developer.
The HR told me its a DESIGN INTERVIEW

What the heck?
Design what? UML? No idea, never seen this before

inspired by another rant. quick questions!

1. without checking, how do you scan a QR code on your phone? does it have a built-in setting? does it require an app? do you have it?

2. when was the last time you scanned a QR code?

my guess for most people is 1. idk. maybe it's there. maybe not. 2. haven't.

so why are they fucking everywhere? on every advertisment, receipt, payment terminal, etc.

I have nothing against QR. it's a great thing, and would be super useful if I didn't have to go out of my way to get a third party app just to scan it. but it makes me curious: is it this inconvenient for everyone? why are they all over the place? I've literally never seen someone scan one, and many people I know don't even know what it is!

Once again, I'm late to the party, wondering how in the world I never heard of ranger before yesterday. For me, it's an absolute game changer. It beats mc, the previous only console-based file manager I've seen, handily in terms of features, flexibility, aesthetics, and ease of use.

This will easily replace finder at work, and pcmanfm at home. It's in every major repo, including debian, redhat, arch, gentoo, and suse variants, and is available through homebrew too.

When your partner decides right as you are able to sleep is the time to be worrying. No that freckle on your arm doesn't look like a bed bug bite. You've obviously never seen a bedbug bite. Now I have to look them up on Google to prove I'm correct. ಠ_ಠ

Come in, check task list, everything is basically "awaiting confirmation" or "acronyms you've never seen before talking about things that only like 2 people know about" or "check the powerpoint that you've never seen or even knew existed"

Sooooooo home time? Besides, it's POETS day ;).

For those that don't know (Piss Off Early, Tomorrow's Saturday)

Dear whoever decides how websites of various medium-big sized corps work:

I came to your goddamn website to find information. Not to fill out a stupid survey. And, if you had taken the trouble to track me with nasty little cookies, you would have seen that I've never visited your site before, so how the heck could I have any feedback whatsoever to give you?

If I wanted to take surveys, I would have registered an account with Yougov and spend the whole bloody day telling them how many tooth paste ads I've read in the last decade.

Update to previous rant: My e-banking account is blocked, because apparently I already set a password on a website I never seen before.

- Tried the declined one
- Tried the unsecure one I chossed after the declined one
- Tried the pin number from mobile app.

BAM@#%$#%!!1!one1! YOU ARE BLOCKED FOR ENTERING WRONG PASSWORD TOO MANY TIMES. PLEASE CALL THE FUCKING BANK ON MONDAY.

I seriously hate this stupid country, and companies that don't know a first thing about web getting picked on government and public sector projects, sucking 100s of thousands of euros and providing the user experience that gives you a fucking diarrhea, at every SINGLE ONE OUF THEM!

Why are all the developers non-athletic? I have never seen a bodybuilder developer and not much sports events happens in a software company !!

Never in my life have i seen such a convoluted and complicated framework as Celery. Celery sucks donkey ass. That is all.

Hey DevRant Fam! , i really hope everyone is doing very well as always! :D <3 I'm currently now learning c# MVC5 which is incredibly new to me and something I've personally never seen and or done, but i love a challenge!.

Now onto something bit more 'somewhat' personal :D, for about 5 years I've been undergoing Immunotherapy Treatment because i suffered from serve chronic eczema and last week was my last ever consultation! I'm incredibly happy to be done with it, another stress lifted off my shoulders :D.

Anyways guys and gals, i really hope everyone is having an amazing day and or night wherever you may be in this world :D

Best wishes <3
Milo

Yeah Statler and Waldorf are my new role models. A code review in S&W style should be quite a killer, haha.

- I've never seen anything like this before.
.
.
.
- And I hope I'll never see anything like this again!

Every one of our sprint "planning" meetings.
We would sit and be told to estimate a bunch of defects we had never seen before. And then we wouldnt actually decide as a team what to commit to because it was assumed that we had to deliver everything in the backlog every sprint. This is what happens when you try to apply scrum to a maintenance team.

Its time to remind ourselves the wonderful time of the year, where people look back and decide to be better and learn from your mistakes...

For example never test in prod and wake me up with notifications you dumbfucks... Someone has exams to do..

Seriously, I have seen a lot of push notifications lately, its some kind of Letstestinprod-uary?

Putting aside my ordinary moral horror for a moment I'd like to comment on rust.

I have never seen a language that seems to have very limited use that so many people make a point of pointing out their use of so proudly and I have to wonder why.