Long story short, one of our interns got this present from me hehe. He loved it.

Fucking someone has to fix the recruiting process.

Fucking who gives a shit about your experience, and what you did so long.

Here take this fucking shitty problem that I googled, so that I can judge you by this one fucking problem.

Oh, youve worked on variety of technologies? Fuck you.

Fuck these interviews. Fml.

I use a lot of dev tools, but one of my favorites is the Linux screen utility. It's awesome to be able to keep shit running on servers whether my laptop stays connected tot he server or not. It's great for jobs that take a long time, can't get interrupted, etc.

If you haven't used screen definitely give it a try!

Providing work estimation:

Dev: This should take about 2 weeks

Non dev: Really? But it's so simple. Shouldn't be that long right? I think it can be done in one week.

*After one week*

Non dev: Why is it still not done? I thought you only need one week?

"Today I won't code, I'll just play some games or watch TV and relax!"

"Hmmm... I'll just fix this one small thing here... shouldn't take long. And then its time for some gaming!"

* 3 hours later *

Still coding, wtf is wrong with me

Talking with a dev friend:

- I want to create a program. Want to help me?
- Sure, any ideas?
- Yeah, I'd like to create a paint software using Java
- Cool

After 3 mins:
- Nah I just realized it'd take too long and no one would use it. Wanna play Rainbow Six tho?
- Okay

After playing for 15 mins:
- Holy shit! This game is so buggy. I could make it better

After 3 mins:
- Nah I just realized it'd take too long and no one would use it. Wanna create a paint software using Java?

30 inch penis. My current one is just too long.

Oh, you meant Dev related? Not sure, then.

President of my employer: how long do you thing it will take to complete x type of migration?

Me: I don't know. We've never done one.

President: well how long do you think it will take based on your experience?

Me: I don't know. I've never done one.

Android : devRant is consuming too much power in background
Me : Say what ??
A : I said devRant is consuming too much pow.................
M : Who the fuck told you to rant about it
*Turns the phone off

No one speaks ill of devRant and lives long enough to tell about it.

So I was looking at the linux environment at my new job. Found 2 VM's in the local network, only one of them is documented. Noone knows about the other one or what it does, let alone usernames and passwords.

Spent over an hour trying to break in, only to find out that a couple of bored devs, that have long since left the company, set up a game server on there and noone noticed it for the past 3 years..

What am I supposed to do here?

!dev

Don't drink 2 espressos as breakfast and go on a one-hour toiletless train ride.

60 minutes is a long time to frantically debate with yourself what would look weirder: Shitting in your laptop bag, or pressing your butt against the small sliding window.

Left one of the demo macs at Best Buy with vim running on a terminal shell. Let's see how long it takes for them to exit vim.

"The password must be 6 to 32 characters long and must contain atleast one uppercase character, one lowercase character, a special character, the md5 hash of your last name, a dried olive branch and the blood of a unicorn."

Started using longer passphrases for logins, colleague starts to tell people I'm doing bad things because"no one needs a password that long"

I get reprimanded by my boss

How the hell does this even happen smh

Long long time ago... before CodeAge.. I like the rainbow one...

My estimations before devRant:
PM: how long will it take to implement this?
Me: one day, tops.

My estimations after devRant:
PM: how long will it take to implement this?
Me: one week, tops.

Thanks @dfox for making me so productive.

Me: Fix this for me and I'll send you a cookie.
Collegue: Deal!
(5 mins later)
Collegue: Done, give me cookie.
Me: send MUIDB4T.txt ..... Long cookie file on Skype.
( Munches chocolate chip cookie)
(Collegue stares in disbelief....)
Me: hey I Even gave you a big one.

( Passes cookie jar )

Only one sticker.

I go door-to-door every Sunday, "Excuse me dear sir/madam, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Haskell?".

Most people slam the door shut in my face, but every lost family I convert to the way of the monad is worth it.

Even if they don't believe in the same deity, even if they express their love for the divine through something as misguided as Typescript or Swift or whatever, as long as they embrace the truth of strong types and composable code, as long as they at least read the gospel of the functional style once in their lives, have one enlightened moment where they see the glory of morphisms, it's all good.

User: Why did you cleaned my recycle bin? I had important documents there!

Happened to me a long time ago. The user was one of the managers... 🐒

Internship has taught me that as long as you know one good language then you can do anything in other language with a little bit help from online.

Unless it's c++.

c++ has pointer.

That means you're fucked.

That also means you're in for a lot of fun.

===rant

So I have been freelancing as web developer for 5 years. I was also playing basketball professionally so I was only working part-time, building websites here and there, small android apps to learn the job and I was also reading a lot to challenge my brain.

When I stopped playing basketball about a year ago, I thought I would really enjoy coding full time so I pursued a job.

With no formal education and just a basketball background on paper, in the collapsed Greek economy, as you may assume chances of landing a job are minimal.

After about 40 resumes sent I only got an internship. It was a 4 month, part-time, no pay deal, and then the company would decide if they would like to hire me later.

The company had 4 employees and they are one of the largest software distribution businesses in my area. They resell SaaS bought from a third company, bundled with installation support, initial configuration, hardware support, whatever a client may need.

I was the only one with any ability to code whatsoever. The other people were working mostly on customer support with the occasional hardware repair.

After the 4 month period they owner (small company, owner was also manager and other roles) told me that they are very happy with my work and would like to keep me part-time with minimum pay.

Just to give you and idea if the amounts of money involved, in Greece, after taxes, my salary was 240euros per month. And the average cost of surviving (rent, cheapest food possible, no expenses on anything but super basics) is about 600euros.

I told him I needed more to live and he told me ok, we will reevaluate a few months later, at the end of May 2017.

I just accepted it without having many options. The company after all was charging clients 30euros per hour for my projects so I kept thinking that if I worked a lot and delivered consistently I would get a full time job and decent money.

And I delivered. In the following months I made a Magento extension, some WordPress themes, a C# application to extract data from the client's ERP and import it to a third application, a click to call application to use Asterisk to originate calls from the client's ERP, a web application to manage a restaurant's menu and many more small projects. Whatever they asked, I delivered.

On time, version controlled, heavily documented solutions (my C# ones are not exactly masterpieces but it was my first time with the language and windows).

So when May ended I was pretty excited to hear they wanted to keep me full time. I worked hard for it, I was serious, professional, I tried a lot to learn things so I can deliver, and the company recognized that. YAY.

So the time comes to talk money. The offer was 480euros per month. Double my part-time pay, minimum wage. I asked for about 700. Manager said it's hard but I will see what I can do. So we agreed to keep the deal for June while they are working on a better offer.

During the first half of June I finished my last project, put all my work on a nice folder with a nice readme on every project's directory, with their version control and everything.

The offer never improved, so I said no deal, and as of today, I am jobless.

I am stressed as fuck and excited as fuck at the same time.

I will do my best to survive in the shitstorm that is called Greece.

Bring it on.

Today, one of my coworkers had to translate a bunch of pages to French ...
He did his job, committed, pushed, and asked someone to validate his branch in order to merge.
Tests didn't take long, the login screen was broken, because there was an there was an <input type="mot de passe"> ...

!rant
So, it finally arrived 🤓
Been waiting for so long to get my hands on one of these! Finally I can start messing around with it 😄

The office toilet chronicles - episode 3

Someone left shit on the toilet seat. That's right. Shit. On the toilet seat.

This is the second time this happens. I'm working with fucking monkeys here. One of these days they'll start throwing feces at each other. I just hope I'll be long gone when it happens.

My dad showed me one of his old notebooks from like 1980 or something and it was all handwritten FORTRAN stuff he used to do. Wow... We've come a long way.

Interviewer: We keep having devs take off for other opportunities after a short period of time. We need someone loyal who will be sticking around for the long haul. Oh wait, you only have one dev company you’ve worked for on your resume? Yeah that’s not good, we only hire devs who have worked for lots and lots of companies.

Dev: …

Note to self: Never leave a non-dev person mid-way through a Windows installation. They'll find a way to fuck it up and then blame it on you.
//this one restarted his system mid-installation coz it was 'taking too long'.
Why is common sense in such scarcity?

11:45am: "Ok one more issue to fix and then I can take a nice long break and relax a little bit. My next meeting isn't until 2.

12:45pm: "Well this issue is taking longer than expected but that's okay. I can grab lunch and still relax a little bit."

1:59pm starving, thirsty and really need to pee and can only choose one. Oh, and the issue still isn't fixed: "god dammit."

I just had a 2 hours long company lunch followed by a 1 hour meeting with the whole team. And I still have a big problem to discuss with two colleagues. Too much social interaction for one day for me. Damn, how my head hurts.

++-ing a random rant from the feed is like a one night stand whereas subscribing to a user's rant is like a long term relationship!

Almost ever day I am the first one at office in the early morning. Other devs arrive at least one or two hours later. I don't mind. I just want to have a bit of sun left, when I go.

But why the heck...everytime I go, one of those other fucktards (which I normally really like), mumbles something like "you go this early today?"

Yes I do you dipshit!! You could arrive earlier, too!

And then, those late birds get credit for staying longest!!!

I mean, sure... If you start to work at 11pm, you have to stay long...

Meeeeh

I'm afraid that the wanketeers got a hold of this one.. as if I care how fast or slow your browser is, as long as it isn't completely shit like pre-Quantum Firefox used to be! And does it even make the slightest bit of sense when there's nice and snappy websites like the motherfucking websites, but a shitload of shitsites that load several dozens of frameworks, because long live Web 2.0. 22% faster, ON WHAT?!

Just for reference in the post. I'm 24 years old.

Guy: How long have you been programming?
Me: I started when I was about 10, so about 14 years
Guy: are you one of the anonymous?
Me: ...

A client asked us today to disable TLS 1.0 and 1.1 across their servers.

Its not often that I say this. But this makes me proud. It's a good client. Going with the changin times. I wish all clients were like this one.

RIP TLS 1.0/1.1, took you long enough.

I bought flowers for my date. Online.
When I registered, the website send me via email my 30 character long password.

😥

So I try "forgot password". The genius website sent me, guess what, my 30 character long password...

For fuck sakes!!!! You had one job.... Hash the fucking password!!!!

I'm afraid these people will probably get hacked soon (murphy law).

Sha256.. Guys please...

Me: Hey Steve why are you working at this workstation today?

Steve: Cause I broke my computer and the one next to my computer, and this one is taking so long to sign in.

Me: It's probably just taking long because it's talking to the other two to find out if it should log you in.

Steve: Oh dear, can it still talk to the one I turned off?

just found out that one of my users replies to himself with blank email with a subject "checked" every time he checks his emails... and then he ticks it as "completed"... He has created chains with hundreds of replies long crashing his brand new xps15 every time he clicks on the chain...

Java is a pretty good language, as long as no one uses it to write code

How I spend my days at work working with legacy code:

* Writing tests before I do anything
* Noticing that i cannot write tests because of antipatterns. Lots of them.
* Refactoring to make at least a tiny bit testable.
* Then writing tests.
* More rewriting and refactoring
* Finally adding that one feature my boss asked me for
* Writing tests for that new feature (my do that before implementing)
* Explaining to my boss why it took me so long and agreeing on stopping writing tests.
* 2 days later: explaining why i still broke something.

But in the end my code works just fine.
my colleagues handle things differently. They just ignore problems as long as at least one feature works a bit.

God Damnit just name the fucking interface one thing and stop changing it every single time you check in. I don't care if you call it IGeorge at this point as long as it's still the same thing tomorrow morning you fuck.

Ooooh yeah!!!! Thanks dfox and trogus for this new feature of auto scrolling to the comment when I click on the notification panel to see which one was +1'd been waiting it for soooo long 😁😁😁😁😁😁

Quick question.

The domain name I wanted was taken, and the person who bought it refused my offer.
So, I'm going to change it up a bit. Which one should I go for?

michelle-midnight.com (the dash might be a bad a idea.)

authormichellemidnight.com (this is way too long.)

-Boss instructs me to always set high estimates
-Asks in how many days will i finish X
-I think 3, but adding 1 extra day for each random problem i tell him one week
-He says thats way too long, make it 3 days
-Shit happens and i can barely finish it in one week
-My boss:

Changing default branch name from "master" to "main" is just one more entry in the already very long list of "things sane people must do because some retarded american woke up one day and decided to be offended".
I am so fucking tired of the entire world having to accommodate to the first-world-problems of some spoiled brat just because they happen to be american.

Coworker on slack: "Hey, is my wallet on my desk?"
Me: "Hey it is"
C: "Alright thanks. I'll arrive a bit later to work today"
Me: *about to write* "Because it took too long to find your wallet? 🤣"
C (before I hit enter): I'm going to a funeral
Me: *deletes message draft* "ok, see you later"

Close one

User: Hey, we got a big issue with one of your tools. One of your pages isn't loading.
Me: Ok, so when did this happen?
User: We don't know? Its been like that for a long time though, so we thought it was normal 😃
Me: ....ok. So do you know what data is supposed to appear?
User: Uhhh we're not sure as well. Since, you know, its been like that for a while.

Just great 😑

When I go to bed, I power off my laptop instead of just closing the lid. I don't bring my phone with me. I don't have a smartwatch. I sleep with no electronic devices with me.

Anyone can solve a lot of their problems by conversing with themselves one on one. Instead, they prefer a feed algorithm taking away their pain. But the nature of pain-relieving addictions is that they always intensify the pain in the long run.

Listen to yourself. Speak to yourself quietly, one on one, without mark zuckerberg in your room listening to your every word. The overwhelming pain will be no more after mere minutes. Only then can you be free.

Exercise devs, exercise, exercise and then exercise a little bit more

I've been coding for a long time and tbh programming is a very fiscally stale labour/hobby and even if your mind is rushing looking for answers, jumping from one place to another you are not moving that much, yes adjustable desks for programming while standing up are good and having breaks also helps but nothing like running, jumping, climbing or any sport.

During my lifetime I've seen the long and short term negative effects of sedentary jobs, back problems, liver problems, hormonal imbalance, overweight, depression, and anxiety.

I've been fiscally active for a long while but when I stopped, the first symptoms I had were weight gain, anxiety and depression, one night I even broke a tooth from stress teeth grinding.

Ive seen that people here might be having this issues and think it's normal, but try it out, start with a walk or jog sprinkled on your weekend.

Nice, apparently Kingston isn't just selling storage anymore.. and it turns out that it's even legal as long as the 2 brands don't enter the same market and the brand name is a generic English word (not sure if Kingston is one of those though). Who knew?

Also, cheers!

Every time..

Every single time!

All day long the hairy one is nowhere to be found. But as soon as you put some tech and/or wires on the bed - be sure she'll find it to be the best sleeping spot in less than a minute.

Literally a techno-cat.

Woke up from my sleep last night because the solution for a long running bug hit me. In a hurry I ran to my work-desk not too far from the bed and flipped open my laptop so hard I broke the screen.

I’ve sent the laptop for repair but my night was so long I didn’t want to get off because previously I only had one problem but then it doubled.

!Rant
To all my fellow developers, hackers and programmers. Can't we all come together to agree that... Finally pushing that big update you have been working and struggling on for so long... is one of the most satisfying feelings ever! <3

Getting comfortable in one place for too long and stagnating. It can be easy to automate your job until you can just milk it, but sit still too long and your skills will be irrelevant.

People talk about ageism in development... don't let your mind get old and you'll always have job security.

!Rant
Am I the only one that devRant almost completely replaced Reddit for the "I'm currently waiting on something so I'm browsing" spot?
Since I've been on devRant, my time on Reddit and even HN diminished quite a lot!
Long story short, this place is amazing :P

I love programming.. I really do.. But sometimes bugs drive me crazy... Long story short.. I'm getting a new laptop don't ask what happened to the other one

Intel core i3 4th generation laptop

3 years old.

Plays csgo at 70fps lowest resolution 800x600

Thinks of upgrading laptop

Sad, only one memory slot

More sad, maximum 8gb ram support

But happy,

This fucking piece of shit lasted way too long than time itself xD

Just finished a project that was estimated to be 8 weeks long with 2 devs. I was given the project 2 weeks ago with no one else to work with. It's going to a few hundred thousand users tomorrow.

Still underpaid and stressing over rent.

Definitely still not getting that salary adjustment...

Fuck this shit. 😐

There's nothing like cleaning out a cupboard of stuff you have long since moved on from only to find this hidden in the corner.

I once had a Mac, it's still a piece of shit and I'm not convinced Apple ever made life easier to use one of these 😅

At a previous company we hired an 18 year old guy and father from a minority and without a high school degree. He could write enough code to get the job. However, he took 3h long lunches, came in late to work and apparently had a problem taking orders from women. At one point all the juniors got an earful because of his attitude and he got let go, not long after. It still saddens me because he could have made a really good career if wasn't for his attitude.

I one sat through an hour and a half long meeting about how to have a meeting. I missed a deadline because it went over.

My mom got infected with one of those stupid you have a virus redirect viruses. Malware bytes isn't useful.
To make matters worse it doesn't redirect in Edge, so she's forced to use Edge until further notice.
It's going to be a long week.

Also I don't have much experience with Windows viruses especially these redirect ones, so yay!

Is it weird that i enjoy all these rants and the dev's frustration?
it really calms me down whenever i see a long rants, creative insults, excessive swearing
because it reminds me that my situation could be lot worse, thank god I'm not in one of those situations

Well, today will be a day of trying to make my frontend angular website communicate with my backend symfony rest api. But after work also have to go to college and learn about ER models.
I KNEW MY ER MODELS LONG AGO.

This picture from one of my favorite series shows perfectly what today will be like.

I guess you only need one of this after a long week.

A long time ago in an office far away, my cube mate and one of my reports got into a fist fight. My cube mate got fired over that. Messed up everyone’s entire week.

A couple months later, 9/11 happened and we all had to evacuate the city.

Bought an S9. One thousand times better than an iPhone. Thank fuck. Finally rid of apple after 6 years. Took long enough.

Put stickers on your notebooks!

I was at an event where different companies present themselves to the students at my school. There was one company that I wasn't interested in at first but then saw a git and a npm sticker on one of the notebooks standing at their booth.

Long story short: I talked to them and now got an internship there.

There is a possibility that I might maybe hopefully get a laptop if I help my dad with one of his own long-term projects.

If this actually happens, I don't have to run Linux of a SD card anymore :D

Become a life long learner.

Learn new languages, they will teach you new tricks for your current one.

Have a personal project, it will help keep you level and forward focused when your day job just isn't doing it for you.

I can't take this anymore...

I'm reviewing n-th PR and I wanna gouge my eyes rn. This is the example I found in one of the PRs (and I could enumerate the examples for a long time...)

Mother****er piece of sh*t.

One of my clients got hacked.
FML. It was fucking bad passwords by a team member.

Google has now blacklisted the domain.

Removed the shady code, requested for review. Hope it recovers soon.

Any idea how long it takes for Google to remove the red warning page before you even enter the page ?

Working on a 6 months long project with delivery scheduled in one more month.. Now my manager says we either ship it in 6 dev days or he gets fired.

At a networking event. Tired. Not a people person, especially when tired.

Found a secluded empty booth, pretending to do some urgent work. Hoping no-one notices I'm not socialising.

How long can I keep this up is the question! :D

When you try to sleep in because you had a long night, but that one flatmate you explicitly told to try to be quieter can't do exactly that...
When you are a programmer and a night owl and your flatmate always goes to sleep early and stands up early...
Why can't everybody be a night owl :D

​I'm a junior dev in a scrum team with two senior devs: one actual senior and one average dev that's just been around for a long time. At stand up meeting, that average senior lists helping me as one of his task Every Single Day. 9 out of 10 times when I ask him a question we end up asking the senior senior together.

They give you 2 containers, one with one amibea the second with 2 amibeas.

Amibeas divide themselves into 2 identical amibeas after 3 minutes.

The container with 2 amibeas get filled up after 3 hours.

How long​ does it take the one with one amibea to get filled up.

The test was named:"Javascript Test"....

I first thought, should I write this in JS?

Spoiler: the answer is 3h and 3 minutes.
But why? What's the link with JS?

If anything taught me that garbage collectors aren't the one true answer for memory management then it's got to be modded minecraft

It takes around 10-20 seconds only to disconnect from a game and go back to the main menu.
You also get memory leaks, which result in several second long freezes when the GC kicks in, that happen every 15 seconds.

TEAM PROJECTS IN UNIVERSITY BE LIKE:

You will need to write a paragraph of text, approximately 100 words long.

In order to manage your work more effectively, you must split the paragraph into sentences and each one of you should write one.

Make sure you don't clash with each other, the text is meaningful and it flows nicely.

You have one month: you should meet at least twice a week to discuss how to go about the tasks, review your work and plan ahead.

We will be checking on your progress on a weekly basis.

Most importantly, do not just wait until the last minute and have one person do all the work: that's just silly.

I'm done. I'm freaking done.

I'm going to take a nice long break and no one can stop me.

At my job in the past week there have been at least one 1 hour-long meeting every day with today hitting the record with 3 meetings.

This is fucking insane. I signed to a developer job, not a guy-sittimg-and-listening job.

Russ: "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing"
Marty: "If that long."
Russ: "Yeah, so be careful what you get good at."

-True Detective season 1

Love the writing in season 1. Very raw and to the point.

Are there more people here who use Makefiles as a façade for complicated commands? For example, 'make dev.up' executes a long docker-compose command and 'make dev.expose.secrets' activates ansible-vault with some variables. It makes doing stuff easier and makes it so that developers with less shell experience can quickly get going instead of having to use long boring commands.

Each time I try to look up what the actual purpose of a makefile is I get a long list of explanatioms talking about building C programs etc. But it never talks about using it to just put shell commands in one big file with subtargets 🤔

So, my question, any of you guys use a makefile to facilitate a facade too?

When you spend so long ranting that the broken chocolate in your pocket melts, you take it out, and it fuses together in one piece...

Currently literally sitting in a meeting about meetings. Like for real, the topic the last 15 minutes has been what the difference between 3 of the daily team meetings is.

Then the dumbass who booked this for two hours says about one of the others "an hour is long"

!rant

As a programmer I feel that i write instructions for the machine's heartbeat.

Single repetitive pattern to be performed for gazillion number of times.

And all that matters is how that heartbeat goes. As long as this one is fine, the next one should be mostly fine.

Was delaying learning a course for quite a long time (felt boring). The finally got the stuff by reading the documentations !

Tell me I am not the only one who thinks reading documentations is way better than taking course (in case of proper documentation ofcourse)

Changing framework or language. Especially if you've used the previous one for a long long time.

The 1x1 to lock you out of your Mediafire-Account:
- Change password to a new one with more than chars (works)
- Try to login with it. 😂 (too long)

Had to reset it and set a new new one with 30 chars.

I just took over a new project from a brand new client today. It's an Android app that he said needed some updates and refactoring, and he said it wasn't well documented but he would add some comments for me before giving me the code. He gave me access to the code today and one class in it is over 1200 lines long with exactly 4 methods in it... the shortest method is still over 200 lines long. There is one comment at the very top:
// Needs refactored.

... gee thanks.

The height of procrastination:

One of the front end developer told me to change few things in two services I told him it’ll take one or two hours (although I did it in 15 mins). I just called him to say I’ll give this tomorrow morning its a long task. While the reality is I am too lazy to build the war and deploy.🙈

Hello all! First post here. I've been a lurker for a long time and have enjoyed all the content.

I start a new gig working remote on Monday (second remote gig) I'm hoping it's better than the last one. How is everyone?

When i was younger, lesser experienced and more naive than now; i got away with a lot of things. By lot of things i mean security flaws in my applications and overall architecture. I realise now i could've so easily been pawned.

Not that i claim to be totally secure even now, or would ever. It is a process, slow and painful one - Learning.

What i wish to point out is the role of favorable probability (non believers would call it luck). Security is so much about it. You get away with so many things for so long. And bang one day the roll of dice is unfavorable. On such rare occasions, just look back and wonder - damn i should've been breached long ago.

When you feel exiled, inconsequential and alienated, remember: if you wander aimlessly into the forest and lay down on the ground long enough, fungi will accept you as one of their own. Unconditionally so.

"The best design tool is a long eraser with a pencil at one end." - Marty Neumeier

Just received and set up my first SSD (Samsung 860 EVO) with GNU/Linux!
Am I the only one who wonders how he was able to live without one for such a long time?

GIRLS PRANK
Omg I changed her lipstick with one of a slightly different color I'm so random she'll go CrAaAaAzY

BOYS PRANK
Use Tampermonkey to transform your colleague's pc into a chinese botnet and redirect him to some PCC website on every click forever

Yeah long story short that's how my previous firm blocked access to domains hosted by the Chinese government.

Motivating self to complete a long project is one of the most difficult things.

My company's process basically boils down to this:
-Hour long meeting to open an issue.
-5 lines of comments.
-Update three documents.
-5 days for a peer review.
-40 bitchy comments about how everything you do and love is terrible.

For a one line code change to prevent a show stopping exception.

I just found a 980 line long method in one of our legacy code bases.... And I need to add to it. There are no unit tests and I desperately want to refactor that shit....

5 steps to make your coworkers go nuts.

Step 1: Get on their computer while they're not around.
Step 2: Choose a bit of their code and make it so it's in one long line.
Step 3: Comment out the line.
Step 4: Change the text color to the color of the editor's background.
Step 5: Watch them going nuts.

Long story short, I have to drop my studies for now bc serious mental health issues. I feel like a failure, but I mean, I actually attempted to.... well, I'm here to say it and not complete the phrase. I need to rebuild a lot. And I would really to make some friends are. I have no one to talk to.

Guys, I think I am addicted and I have problems... I tried to write a simple SudokuSolver program in C# (one file) but I ended up writing an ExtensionMethods class, a Puzzle class, a Solver class, an IO class, a Program class...

That's why I hate working on big side-projects for too long

So my friend was copying a 32 character long hash string from one phone to another because he has the banking app in one phone and registered mobile number in the other phone...
So, I was waiting when he was halfway done... The I said, bro... you could have sent that text as message from Phone1 to Phone2.... His facial expression was unexpressable. I could have told in the begining but I am a devil. 😈

Don't get stuck maintaining legacy stuff.

If you move to new, preferably greenfield dev every so often then you'll naturally keep with the times (at least if you're working in a vaguely decent team.) If you stick in one place too long and get stuck maintaining legacy crap, then that will be your focus, and that will be where your knowledge sticks.

The process of making my paging MIDI player has ground to a halt IMMEDIATELY:

Format 1 MIDIs.

There are 3 MIDI types: Format 0, 1, and 2.

Format 0 is two chunks long. One track chunk and the header chunk. Can be played with literally one chunk_load() call in my player.

Format 2 is (n+1) chunks long, with n being defined in the header chunk (which makes up the +1.) Can be played with one chunk_load() call per chunk in my player.

Format 1... is (n+1) chunks long, same as Format 2, but instead of being played one chunk at a time in sequence, it requires you play all chunks

AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME.

65534 maximum chunks (first track chunk is global tempo events and has no notes), maximum notes per chunk of ((FFFFFFFFh byte max chunk data area length)/3 = 1,431,655,763d)/2 (as Note On and Note Off have to be done for every note for it to be a valid note, and each eats 3 bytes) = 715,827,881 notes (truncated from 715,827,881.5), 715,827,881 * 65534 (max number of tracks with notes) = a grand total of 46,911,064,353,454 absolute maximum notes. At 6 bytes per (valid) note, disregarding track headers and footers, that's 281,466,386,120,724 bytes of memory at absolute minimum, or 255.992 TERABYTES of note data alone.

All potentially having to be played

ALL

AT

ONCE.

This wouldn't be so bad I thought at the start... I wasn't planning on supporting them.

Except...

>= 90% of MIDIs are Format 1.

Yup. The one format seemingly deliberately built not to be paged of the three is BY FAR the most common, even in cases where Format 0 would be a better fit.

Guess this is why no other player pages out MIDIs: the files are most commonly built specifically to disallow it.

Format 1 and 2 differ in the following way: Format 1's chunks all have to hit the piano keys, so to speak, all at once. Format 2's chunks hit one-by-one, even though it can have the same staggering number of notes as Format 1. One is built for short, detailed MIDIs, one for long, sparse ones.

No one seems to be making long ones.

Please just let me cancel my 1-year subscription for the end of that one year NOW without only giving me an option to cancel everything right now and still pay 54 € fee, that's not only silly, it's what makes customers shout FUCK YOU Adobe! Long gone the good old times, who needs your outdated stuff in 2022 anyway?

The new devRant long story feature is great! Very nice to have them in one place. Thanks devRant team!

Client: Can you give me an estimate of how long this change will take?

Me: (meets with other devs for a good estimate, around 2.5 weeks, and gives to client)

Client: Great. Oh by the way we have a one week deadline.

Today my therapist suggested I work towards one day getting back the will and energy to start coding side projects, just for the fun of it.

That was a long, long time since I had the ability to do. Maybe I can get back to feeling that much in control that I can let work go for a day or two each week and just... Have fun coding. What a mind-boggling thought.

I have job interviews at two different companies tomorrow at the same time. Can't postpone either. One is at a start-up that has super negative reviews but good pay. Other is at Amazon but has requirements half I don't even understand. It's not long before I pluck all my hair out in confusion.

Happened today... one of the senior devs was supposed to take an interview...
After a while I see a fb friend request from him while he's taking the fucking interview...
I asked him later about this he said the candidate was taking too long to solve the problem and while he was at it, I was surfing fb 😂😂

Me: *changes a long and complex calculation to fix old mistakes*

Program: *keeps outputting the same wrong result*

Me: *goes mad for a good hour trying to discover the problem by debugging it like a angry rat*

Also me after one hour of debugging: *discovers he never changed the output source of the function and it's still outputting the old result*

Well, the project I've been working on is now being terminated.

As the lead dev, I found out by one of the managers sending a public message to the staffing team in one of the channels unrelated to development, which I don't normally check.

Apparently at no point in their "very long discussion" did they think they should let me know of this decision.

Tbh I'm not even suprised, I was barely ever told anything. The others aren't either.

i was helping a friend with their coding assignment - snake game.

we spent about 45 minutes of trying to figure out why the snake's self-collisions are not working.

then we realized that she's using two separate arrays/grids - one for the food, one for the snake itself.

she was checking both for food collisions and self-collisions on the food array.

it was very painful to realize it took me so embarassingly long to notice it.

I HAD typed up a big, long rant... but then I deleted it because as much as I WANT to rant today, I realized I'd prefer to still have a job tomorrow (yeah, I know, could always do a throwaway account, but fuck that). It's just one of those days in paradise.

I think I've reached the point where I've been programming for so long that I have off by one errors doing normal math by hand. Nothing more humbling than getting beat out to a bunch of simple math problems to a grade schooler.

if the stars align, i will have a dobie sometime early 2024. i want to only go through ethical breeders, so the wait has been long, but it’s worth it. i’ve never had a dog before and i’m SO excited !!!

pic is of momma and one of her puppers from a previous litter, but we will be keeping the ears floppy :)

Lots of haemorrhoids , because of sitting at one place for long time

There should be a thing called "Extra long weekend" where we get one more day off 😜

It took me way too long to realize why my local discord bot doesn't react to the new command.

I was chatting with the remote one...

Finally Google kills off a product no-one wanted in the first place! First genuinely exciting announcement from Google in a LONG time. Good riddance Google+!

Never had a truly bad experience with a designer but once one mentioned offhand that the unique keys that we were using to secure access to sensitive information should be only 4 characters long because it looks better that way...

I kept them at 16

Content strategy expert: How long would it take to program an SVG animation intro video

Me: I'm not sure I've never programmed one before.(still teaching myself)

Content expert: iS it even possible?

Me: yeah all things are possible in programming ;)

Content expert: so then how long would it take

Me: no.

Content expert: but wouldn't it be easier if...

Me: no, go away

I have started doing one hour coding challenges... I try to make small projects in that time.. I have felt improvement in my programming and thinking skills but I wanna know your opinions if I am doing the right thing for the long run?
language: python, arcade library.

Relative phones up worried about installing Adblocker as it "can store and modify the websites you visit"...my answer.."so can GCHQ, NSA AND CIA so just give in to the fact that you have no privacy and click ok"...*long pause*.."ok one more question, what's a chrome extension?"..FML

Back from long weekend... Already want another...

Perhaps I've finally realized the team cannot be saved, work isn't fun anymore, it sucks being the linchpin, and I'm just not having fun anymore...

And for one I think I've even take a pay cut to get onto a new but better managed and 100% senior team

Fantasy and Sci-Fi,
Math and theoretical CS,
Graffiti (this one is just a sketch tho),
Wandering around (for long time and distances),
Bike riding (before someone steal it),
Sky watching (with naked eye)
and I have other not-so-popular habits that I have, but I don't know if they are considered geek.

Would you guys use a LED TV as a monitor? Don't want to buy a monitor and want to use that one instead until it dies. But I am not sure how long it will last tho

Could this be the best welcome home present after a long flight?
Sorry for the bad quality, too tired right now for a proper one

Wow, traveling by ICE (German long distance trains) and one of them is running late.
What a fucking surprise.

That one kid who knows absolutely everything there is to know about computers... As long as they run Windows.

Oh boy. Here comes another one.... We should start making bets on how long it will last.

Hey just noticed the app updated... Looks like a pretty big change but pretty nice. one thing though was wondering. How does it decide the length to show?

I see some posts are really long but others are shorter and get the Read More cutoff

My school love. While she was laying on my bed inside two giant wallets — one for the head and one for the body — she explained the following:
- how to find the nearest McDonald’s when McDonald’s ceases to exist
- how to do a super long jump in Nintendo DS Pokémon games
- why a person turned into blur usually achieves more

time zone shift.

Am I the only one whos's inner clock seems to go absolutely crazy...

Might be due to my health issues, but whenever these one hour time shifts happen - trouble sleeping starts again, feeling sluggish and blue and nothing seems to work.

I hope it doesn't take long to readjust, cause today was completely unproductive

you know, i've got 5K+ in cash savings before i would even need to dip into "long term" retirement funds

and other than the food and the drink, i don't spend anything (can scrape by on 1-2K per month)

so fuck it, i'm going to enjoy the amazing weather that is everywhere in europe right now

if companies are going to be assholes, i am too

because in the long run i know my skills and vast competances are valuable

companies can hire the cheap clueless scrub in the shortrun

but i know i'll win in the long run when they realize who they are trying to hire does not exist

what's even one year of being unemployed against a lifetime of opportunity and projects? nothing.

I was browsing websites in search of a nice digital camera because my wife saw one but it's long since been discontinued. So I found this one article about a few current ones. I open it, it shows the typical GDPR consent request about cookies with a prominent button 'ACCEPT ALL,' and a less prominent button 'MANAGE PREFERENCES.'

But tapping the button 'MANAGE PREFERENCES' did not show any preferences to manage! WHAT THE HECK? There was only a list of 'partners' whose cookies I need to accept. A long list. A very long list. I stopped counting at 500.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WHAT REASON COULD A WEBSITE POSSIBLY HAVE TO REQUIRE COOKIE CONSENT FOR MORE THAN 500 PARTNERS?

Fucking capitalist internet.

I currently work for my college for the web team. We are working on a year long project which is to update the college's old website to one that is not only more user friendly, but is also mobile friendly (unlike the old one). My job for the past week (with another week to go) has been to simply delete all HTML attributes that were used in HTML3, and this entire site was written using it.

I haven’t seen one of these in a long time...

Been a really long time since I posted on here. Sucks when you get stuck in a lab that bans cellphones.

BUT I got a new job now. No classified stuff. I can actually talk about what I do specifically now!!! And after a week I can almost maybe do my job one day.

Just remembered one of my old workplaces where i had an almost hour long talk with totally unrelated hr people because i was playing one of the games bundled with win10 (that they made me use)

I did not fully understand dev ducks untill my project partner said I used him as a dev duck. I wonder how long it would take until he gets me one.

FUCKING SHIT! Am I really the fucking only one that is fighting with the cursor jumping into the fucking next line or to the start, while you are trying to select only a part of a long line?! I know theres wordwrap, but I fucking hate it!

I forgot the fricking ON clause for a important database query. While it didn't crash MY program or greatly effect the performance, I feel sorry for the API that had to deal with the idiotic results of this.

Especially that one request I just spotted, where I just got the answer "the query took too long". That one was like querying the table "females" for males.

Soo fricking sorry 😭😭😭

Dude. Listen.
The deployment didn't go 100% well, fine. The main menu got fucked up, fine.

But no one gives a fuck when you send an 15 words long email to 6 persons just whining about the fact that no delivery go well on the first try.

Learn to shut the fuck up sometimes.

1. Do you commute using public transport?
2. How long is one of your ways?
3. Do you use hearing protection during your commute?
4. Are you also extremely nervous if your public transport is just a nanosecond too late?

Am i the only one who really wants a chat and follow option on DevRant?
I find it very uncomfortable to maintain long comment threads of 20+ comments especially when you're discussing with a single other ranter on a certain issue :/

Not so long ago i met a webdesigner from one of my projects. Before that i did not know that Fonts like FontAwesome exist (except that crap default Font from MS). I was so happy, no more working / designing my applications with fucking images or other workarounds! THANK YOU

Not bad for a test over WiFi 😮
Still, how I long for fiber... Then I won't need to use a VPN to boost my speed lol... Not that I'll stop using one...

In the mood of doing nothing because I have so much shit going on. Anyone knows that feeling?

Also so many (cool) projects I would like to do but no motivation to start anything... I have no real reason to... I’m just waiting for motivation to come back one day - but it has been a long time.. :(

People that argue that anyone who doesn't understand their one or two letters long variable names are idiots.

How long should one stay in a new role before... Well.. You know... letting all the rants out off the closet?

The best surprise is when I restart using one of my scraper apps which I haven't used in a long time ... And it still works.

My Dilbert one I haven't updated in years which implies they have not made any changes to the site or added anymore protection for at least 5yrs

Scanner scanner = new Scanner(...);

Which is fine until you're in a corporation where the (many) classes are so detailed that each one is 30 chars long...

I know I've been spending way too much time in doors programming because I had a panic attack while at the grocery store. I've never had one in a long time.

After a long long time,

Debugged something that blew away my mind on how it works internally..

DynamoDBMapper made my day today.

What could have been more better gift during the super special sweet valentine's week!!!!!

I ❤️ debugging.
Found my lost love and interest to patch up with my most loved one Miss "Programming"

As part of my engineering apprenticeship, I was sent to work on a train depot. One day, a mentor of mine called me over and said "Kid - can you go and see Mr so & so and ask him for a long weight?"

I, without thinking about it - went all the way across the depot found the gent and asked him for a long weight. He looked at me, a little bemused - and asked me if I knew what the weight looked like. I said no. He continued to inquire about this weight - it went on for a few minutes until I realised my stupidity. There is no such thing as a long weight - only a long wait.

Needless to say my mentor had a huge laugh together with his mates at my foolishness.

Sometimes things really are quite simple.

I want to say my thanks to this one seeder with one seeder out of 300+, who uses that niche tui torrent client. For some reason I was struggling to get this torrent to work, all day long. Despite being connected to multiple peers at the time, I was not able to transfer any data. Fixes literally 2 pending on my system trying to resolve this and suddenly this person comes along and I have a stable transfer rate 🙏🙏🙏

How long did it take to receive an offer from a big tech company after your final interview? I’m just so antsy with waiting.. Any one have experiences past 2 weeks? Or even next day?

Web developers, how long does it take for you to make a responsive web page?

Let's say the page is a fancy one with lots of images and gradients and buttons and wavy section dividers with little to no consistency.

It's been 2 days and I'm still far from completing one.

Had one of those unicorn coding moments where my from-scratch code worked the first time I wrote and tested it. That hasn’t happened in a long time.

To the companies stealing my money, I need you to stop auto renewing my subscriptions or atleast let me be able to schedule for how long I want to use your services. I cannot come one day prior the auto renew date just to cancel the subscription. It shouldn't be like that.

For anyone following, I broke my E key on my laptop keyboard. I ordered a new one and it should arrive tomorrow. I am going to be able to type else and exeception properly after a really long time!

The lack of one (no thinking about long term design and issues) leading to poorly designed systems that crumble when it needs to be scaled and has massive bus factor and code duplication.

One unfortunate thing I have realized about being a human is that socialization is necessary in order to excel in the long term

Client calls with an issue(some automated process that's run perfectly fine for years, one error and it's the end of the world), and after 15 minutes of trying to explain to them what happened, they wanted to see the code the error originated from.. so I sent it to them. After a long pause, they agreed with my assessment. 🤣🤣🤣

After giving up on multiple attempts to contribute to opensource projects, came to know about 'yourfirstpr' on one of the comments here.

Long story short, a week later and I've made my first pull request to libgit which has been merged :)

Thanks DevRant community 😊

!rant

What kind of Easter eggs have you guys added to your projects (personal or work)?

There was one I added to a command-line utility for work that, as long as you ran the right command on an OS with a GUI, would open a browser and navigate to "Never gonna give you up" on YouTube. 😎

Am I the only one who turns off the PC by executing "die" in the command line?

(I use Archlinux with i3wm, so there is not a graphic button to turn off the PC, and writing shutdown -h 0 was too long)

I once worked at a really messy project that is best described as one gigant big bug. The CEO asked me how long it would take to fix it. At that point nobody knew since the code was a mess and new directives came all the time. So I answered that I sincerely didn't know. He responded angered with "How couldn't you know. When I read a book I know exactly how long it takes."... I quit

My father. It's thanks to him that I knew how to use a computer before I knew coherent speech. He's also the one who introduced me to linux long before my peers had even heard of it. Even now, he's the one I go to if I'm really lost for answers in anything related to computers. Like, when even StackOverflow fails me. 😱

Changed one line and had to fix over 1300 unit tests. Damn! Each has its own configuration. Been a long 6 hours

Not so long ago an AI Telegram channel was launched. It learned from Russian news and generated new headlines.

Here’s one of the first headlines it generated:
“Islamic physicists will recreate the Big Bang”

For real, channel name is Neural Meduza

Started writing a blog post about a simple React project I created. Several hours later and I've finally gotten to the part where I'm creating the first component.

...this going to be one long-ass blog post. :P

I just solved a 3 or 4 month old bug. Dont even know how long I've been struggling. But im tired. I had to hire people off upwork. Over 20 developers failed to solve this problem. 4 months later this one guy solved it within a day.... Fck u flutter

When I need to ask my boss something...
Jesus... This guy explains you 3 HOURS long on why you need this cable and why you cant use another one, and he wants you to write it down... Every. Single. Word...

Talking about UX design.

Im on facebook scrolling down all this shit news and then i see one of my friend commenting on one post.

I tap on it and .... The commenting list appear but it not scroll to my friend comment... Close this shit get mad close facebook 😂

Long story short facebook sucks cocks

It's harder to grab hold of underperforming colleagues and give them a shake up, and harder to catch contractors working more than one job at once and doing poorly at both.

I'd still take it over a long commute and office work any day, though.

I just downloaded a bunch of code editors. Ive been using VSC for a long time, and im looking if I should switch. Which one are you using, and why? 😊

Things You Learn After A While #464:

Tasks take as long as they take.

Then one week, everything lines up, you're in a groove, make almost no mistakes, and get your shit written in half the time it normally takes.

Management now considers this the standard of timeliness and gets upset when tasks take a normal amount of time.

Moral: Always make sure you take at least as long as you said it would take to complete a task.

I just love it when the debugger integration into the IDE breaks for no good reason.

I also love that the github issue about it was closed for inactivity. Because problems magically disappear if no one screams "same issue here" for long enough.
Fuck you too

It took long enough for google to do something so basic.

So currently if you have provided mic or camera access to one of the apps, then it can also access those features while running in background..

<"Perfect is enemy of good"
>"Excellent! I keep my enemies very close"

I do believe it possible that one can find at least one perfect counter to every stupid folk saying that startup-for-brains suit bags love to parrot.

2)
<"We must fail fast"
>"I already did it!"

3)
<"We must have a long tail of offerings"
>"Can we offer focus on our core strengths?"

-3)
<"We must focus on our core strengths"
>"Isn't our core strength 'having a long tail of offerings'?"

4)
<"We must use agile methods"
>"An agile habit does not make an agile monk."

5)
<"We must be flexible and adapt"
>"Is it a law or more of a rule of thumb?"

6)
<"We must avoid bureaucracy"
>"Can I have that in writing?"

copying field data from one table to another,

wondering why the execution takes so long,

since your copying only data from three rows,

realising you forgot the WHERE clause in the SQL while working on a live database and overwriting all data with the last statement 😨

Web site has taken so long to build due to content delays. When the site is in partial preview- the managers involved forget the direction we were taking content and tear it apart again- demanding new content.

Square one never felt so familiar.