A.I steals my job; introduce devRant to A.I; A.I gets too busy ranting about all the stupid shit humans have messed up; Get my job back.

Friend: Man you're a programmer why aren't you a billionaire already like the others??

Me: It's not that easy believe me.

Friend: I have a great idea for an app something like facebook...can be that hard?

Me: :/

Friend: you could do that instead of your no pay opensource shit...

Me: FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID BULLLLLSHIT GO FUCKING DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT !!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE ..STUPID SON OF A BITCH.

DO YOU FUCKING SERIOUSLY TELL US IN THE SECOND SEMESTER OF OUR MASTERS DEGREE THAT WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL THAT ARRAYS START WITH 0?!?

> Woke up at 03:30 because I am on call and a server went down
> Fixed shit and went to bed
> could not sleep,
> fuck it, drive to work.
> arrive at the office at 04:30
> I can scream stupid shit and noone would hear
> *grin*

FUCK WORDPRESS TO DEATH!

Seriously, I have a degree in computer science and I can't for the fucking lfie of it understand the fucking architecture of fucking WORDPRESS!

How many fucking times when developing fucking shitty wordpress sites for clients you spent 66% of the time debugging some stupid fucki9ng shit related to the retarded monolithic fucking stupid architecture of this huge retarded abomination which should be killed in a fire with dragonfire.

How many fucking times while using trellis sage bedrock mother fucking super uber framework bubblegum you find yourself struggling with the fgucking broweser shit sync or some other fucking stupid bubblegum fix shit to make wordpress even remotely a decent experience to work with?

Even when buffed with a fucking shitton of boilerplate shit code from people who want developers to not fucking kill themselves while working on this fucking piece of shit framework the developing experience with wordshit makes me want to blow my fucking brains out with a desert eagle.

I seriously can't fucking stress how fucking shit this whole framework is and I seriously hope people stop using it for good. Wordpress was made by a bunch of fucking retarded monkeys who barely knew how to write afucking hello world.

This is the last fuckign time Im ever going to accept a wordpress project from my clients this fucking framework has driven me mad for fu cking years and i've finally had it with thsi fucking piece of shit framework and i fucking hope it gets buried 1000 km down and never dug up ever fuckign again.

Wordpress is the single most fucking horrid abomination that has ever been created in the fucking history of the tech industry.

Wife - my site is not working, everything in the code looks correct. But it is only throwing me 404 all over

Me - "blaming the teacher for giving bad shit"

Wife after googling - I fixed it, you have forgot to enable .htaccess in the virtualhost

FFS how long have I been this stupid?

root@server:~# systemctl stop ssh *enter*

Wait! SHIT! FUCK FUCK *$§%§*"!

I hired a guy on upwork. His english is shit. But hes done the work correctly. Fast forward today he asked me "off topic question but do u have any female friend who can accompany me to fuck?"

WTF IS THIS SHIT

That is not professional AT ALL. I dont give a shit about the fact he cant get no bitches so hes begging me as if im some kind of a pimp. On upwork?? Gtfo.

Now i understand why companies want to hire only people with college DEGREES because they have went through the process of conforming and dont ask stupid shit questions. Eliminates a lot of bullshit and Neanderthals like this guy

Ffs

No, I wont help you solve your stupid problem. If you are not able to read the wiki or the man pages - Arch linux is not for you.

You have only proven that you are stupid enough to listen to other people who likes to brag how good the are, but actually do not know shit.

Which asshole designer and stupid website owners decide to embed 110 trackers on a single page!!
I mean sure some ads add their own trackers....but THIS is beyond shit
R.I.P Privacy

The correct version flag is either -v and/or --version not this stupid -version shit

I really, really hate it when someone has a problem/question, and I really dedicate my heart and soul to write a really good answer that even a stupid person would understand - with drawing, explanations and shit. And they answer is just:
"Thanks"
"Ok"
"I dont get it"
"Can you please do it"
"you spelled that wrong"

"Who the fuck wrote this stupid shit!?"
git blame

It was me...

Argh!
Me: "Are these Os or 0s? In this shit font they look totally the same!"
Me tries to gess if they look more like circles or eggs.
Me remembers that there are no Os in hex numbers.
Me: "Stupid me! Better go to bed now..."

I have always thought that I am to dumb to become a dev, but after a few years doing sysadmin shit I have realized that even the most stupid, dumb and idiotic people can be a wordpress developer!

There is still hope for me

Look at the 'k' in 'keyboard'... Fuck this fucking shit. I'm wasting my life with this stupid things

STUPID SHIT ASS EMAIL POLICIES NOT ALLOWING ME TO SEND CERTAIN FILE TYPES TO A SUPPORT MEMBER WHEN THERE ARE FUCKING PROBLEMS WITH THE PRODUCTION SITE. THE GUY THAT SET UP THOSE POLICIES CAN ROLL THEM UP AND STICK THEM IN HIS ASS.

There that's better...

I downloaded this expecting it to be just guys arguing over stupid shit like iOS Vs Android, but I've been pleasantly surprised, everyone seems a lot nicer than the comments sections on tech websites

This fucking stupid asshole developer, wrote every single SQL execution with string formatting. Made me a full sleepless night fixing this shit. Isn’t this a classical SQL injection sample?

Guys, I think it's time to fight back!

Whenever a client ask you about IE9 support, tell him to find someone else, because noone the fuck uses IE9 and if someone somehow does, then it's his fault!

Then he will search for other dev, but if we all do so, we can forget about supporting stupid old shit again!

FUCK CORPORATE EMAIL SPAM

AND I DON'T MEAN SOME SOME EXTERNAL SCAM/AD/PISHING EMAILS

I MEAN THE SHIT MY OWN COMPANY SENDS TO ME

LIKE:

"tHE WelLbeIng Course : SiGN In now!!!!!"

"#MoRnIngcOfFEE witH SOME cORporatE TWAt"

"Give togetHER : LETs circLE JerK OurSeLveS in SOMe fuCKiNg oNLiNe mEetInG !!!!!!!"

I DON'T FUCKING CARE !

I GET DOZENS (IF NOT FUCKING HUNDREDS) OF SUCH SHIT EMAILS EVERY DAY.

IF I GO ON VACATION, I HAVE TO SPEND HOURS TO SORT SHIT OUT

I HAVE HAD TO SET UP ELABORATE OUTLOOK RULES TO GET IT SORTED AUTOMATICALLY INTO SOME MANAGEABLE FOLDERS (AND SPEND SOME OF MY LIMITED TIME, HERE ON EARTH, TO DO SO)

AND GUESS WHAT

THANKS TO THOSE STUPID RULES I MISSED, ONE FUCKING IMPORTANT EMAIL

CAN YOU JUST STOP FUCKING SPAMMING ME ?!!!

FOR CHRIST SAKE AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS STUPID CORPORATE BULLSHIT

STOP SENDING IT TO ME

"Im gonna buy an Titan V for gaming!"
-Le "Friend" of mine

me:
A Titan V is for research and AI Applications...

Le "Friend"
Ayy u stupid Titan V best card!!!11!

Fuck this shit im fucking out of here...

Fucking stupid arrogant pieces of whale shit in a Node.js group I'm on Facebook, whenever someone posts an issue he/she is having I try to help, I'm far away from a senior but I like to share my knowledge helping others but everytime the post contains a screenshot of windows or the user says it is running on windows all this fucking pendejos blame the OS and instead of replying about what the issue/solution could be they pinches always say:
"oh it's because you are in windows that is shit" -fucking amhed ramadamalamabin
"dude you have to use Linux if you don't want issues Linux is best" -stupid juanito sombrero loco (I'm Mexican don't take it personal)

Can you fucking bitchy please help this poor developers with the actual issue and not fucking say Linux this Linux that when it doesn't fucking even have to do with or is related with the issue? Goddamn

Have a nice day.

I hate this fucking front-end stuff so hard..

How DA FUCK is it possible that I set up the whole backend including DB connection, base controllers, models, base validation and stuff in an hour but don't get this fucking fucking retarded JS framework piece of shit to display a test string after ONE FUCKING HOUR!!!

Why do we need this shit anyway? Why does everything have to be shiny with some fucking animations???

It's about the information, isn't it? Then WHY DOES IT HAVE TO LOOK PRETTY???

I gonna travel back in fucking time to the early 80's!

Stupid front-end shit..

You know what? Fuck it. Git CLI. Hot take.

Question is "least favorite". Not "worst". Not "least important".

Git is great, essential, fantastic, whatever. But I hate interacting with the CLI. I can never remember the stupid fucking commands, I always mess shit up if I need to do something outside of my normal workflow, and honestly, usually the correct way of doing shit looks fucked.

So fuck git CLI and its learning curve

I want to vomit everytime rich people in upper management says stupid shit like "working for money in this company is a sin. Work for higher reason"

Hello, if only I get paid as much as you earn just by talking random nonsense in every meeting, I would be glad sharing the same shit quote like that to other employees in the company.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!

Stop this INFINITE SCROLL BULLSHIT!!!
Or at least save THE FUCKING position I've been before clicking on an element!

Me: "What a stupid piece of shit documentation and software, it does not work!!!!!!!"

Also me: "Oh, this typo made everything _not-work_"

In Germany we have some TV channels that everyone has to pay 17€ a month for even if he does not own a TV, since it's supposed to be free press. Well guess what they still post ads and every journalist's story get's filtered through 5 comittees. This whole thing is so anti open source, anti freedom, corrupt and stupid. No wonder more than 4 Million just don't pay this shit.

Wtf y'all see shitposting and then you decide to continuously upvote it.

Look retards. Part of being a Computer Scientist, or whatever shit branch you are part in this vast field...is detecting patterns....if you see some dickwad shitposting the same shit over and over or using fucking retarded ass themes, or some jase shit then downvote the shit out of it.

Fuck me.

Someone can make his theme to be just posting ascii penises and you retards would upvote that shit to oblivion.

Stupid ass community.

"THeN lEave" <--- i was prob here before you dickhead....go suck on cock somewhere else.

Damn y'all are fucking idiotic...this what happens when we make retards believe they can be engineers

Motherfucking Microsoft piece of shit. Next time I hear someone talk anything other than trash about Windows 10 I'm gonna bash his head in. Over one week of rendering gone because the Microsoft motherfuckers decided that they can restart whenever they want. Installing wanna cry is less destructive than this virus sold as an operating system. People liking this Win10 shit must be really REALLY fucking stupid. Fuck you

All those fucking non-programmers in my university should fuck off!! Just because am studying computer science and am in 2nd year doesn't mean i have to be like Mark and build Fucking facebook!!
Mark started in his 2nd year...bla bla fuck you!! You wanna make facebook go learn how to code yourself worthless piece of shit.
So much talent is discouraged even before it buds because of these stupid expectations!!

Holy fucking shit!
Look, I know I'm kinda average, I actually think I'm kinda stupid... But holy fuck this new mother fucker at work is in a fucking new level of dumb ... OMG!

I'm actually thinking about asking my boss to let him go and this guy isn't even there for 2 weeks yet.

When you are so angry about something you slam your fist on the keyboard, break the Enter and surrounding keys, rush to the closest shop that sells keyboards, fail to buy one because they're all too shit, come home and end up fixing your keyboard, then get even more pissed off because you had already gotten excited about that new keyboard, and end up writing shitty comments for shit you haven't even finished yet because you're too pissed off BECAHSE EVERY FUCKING THING IN THIS WORLD IS FUCKING BROKEN AND SHIT. AND NOW I HAVE A MIGRAINE AND MY LEG IS ITCHY FOR SOME STUPID FUCKING REASON!

STUPID RAILS!

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BUILD THE BLOODY QUERY WITHOUT DOING FANCY UNNECESSARY SUBQUERY SHIT?!

OR PUT THE LIMIT WHERE IT MAKES SENSE AND DOESN'T CAUSE MYSQL TO TELL YOU TO FUCK OFF?

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

THIS ISN'T HARD

Holy shit. I'm sitting in my CS class and I just heard someone complaining about the stupid responses they get when they tell people they're a CS major.

I heard a new one that is honestly the most stupid fucking thing ever. She told someone she's a CS major and they replied "Oh so are you taking a lot of chemistry classes or something?"

She: I hate you.
He: I don't care.

She: You are stupid.
He: I don't care.

She: You are ugly.
He: I don't care.

She: Linux is shit.
He: You are f**king dead b*tch.

i found a bunch of stupid shit so why not share?

You motherfucking piece of shit application form...

I was filling a long form in a tab and I had another part of that form open in another tab.

They fucking logged me out of the 2nd tab and didn't notify or prevent me from filling up hundreds of fields in the 1st tab.

Now I have to fill them up again.

Fuck you and your stupid form. Die in hell you fucking stupid cunt.

WTF BOSS?

STOP WRITING THESE FUCKING OBVIOUS SQL INJECTABLE CODE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!!!

BURN MOTHERFUCKER, BURN!!!

When you're trying to support a legacy product and you come across this goldmine. Stupid shit like this is the reason I want to murder people

(Read the order of the parameters)

Created a whole program from scratch in Powershell, while learning it on the fly. Developed GUI and got some friends to beta test it. Fixed bugs and finally the manager saw. After using it for not even a whole minute, he says "Looks fine, just make it in Python and we'll see".

FML
Fuck Python
Fuck this shit stupid world

Fucking idiots. How fucking stupid are you? We're in 2016 now, where basically `.motherfuckerslutshitasscunt` has the potential to become a TLD. And you still can't validate a motherfucking *.online email? FUCK YOU. I will NOT be using your SHIT MOTHERFUCKING RECRUITMENT SERVICES. DIE.

You fucking son of a bitch!

First you make me do a project in two fucking months, and that's a fucking job-load for only one dev to deliver a SPA with payments and whatsoever.

Then you pushed me to accelerate deployment date and there I am, getting tired and using time I don't have.

But oh no, you prick, that wasn't enough, you had to do just one thing. YOU HAD TO DO ONE FUCKING THING!

What's that? Oh, sorry, I thought I overheard that you wanted to accept online payments but YOU'RE NOT FUCKING SIGNED UP, YOUR BUSSINESS IS NOT LEGAL UNTIL YOU REGISTER IT.

Motherfucker, I can't do anything, you better fucking register your bussiness if you want this to work the way it's supposed to do.

Motherfucker, every fucking meeting on this project we have a fucking 3 week deadline to accomplish the fucking impossible.

And now they practically want me to rewrite the whole fucking application.

And my fucking boss can't fucking shut the fuck up and keep having "ideas" on new thing.

YEU FUKCING STUPID PIECES OF SHIT!!! HOW CAN WE ADD SHIT WHEN EVERYTHING IS HALF ASSED BECAUSE WE DONT STOP ADDING SHIT? FUCK YOU!

This sort of shit really pisses me off, yes PC has a higher market share, but I had to comment. Mobile gaming dwarfs PC so should we even bother with PC?

And people are agreeing with his point, it's fucking stupid, people should be able to enjoy something no matter what platform, linux, Mac, windows or anything else...

Fuck heads...

!dev

Sucks how the society pressures people into to stupid, irrational shit.

For the last time, I DO NOT WANT TO HOP THE BANDWAGON.

while(1) {
head.bang(table);
}

I've been trying to update XCode for the past two weeks. AppStore keeps saying not enough disk space. Guess that's what you get when a fruit company makes computers!

Java script is like an angry girlfriend who won't tell you what is wrong.
This shit happened today.

Me: somearray.includes[stuff];
JS: I'm alright everything is fine.
Me: no it's not, Clearly the feature is not working.
JS:* silence*
Me: Fine be that way.. * spends lot of time debugging finally finds the issue*...oh shit.
Me: somearray.includes(stuff);
JS: I SAID NO TRAILING SPACE IN END OF THE LINE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT NO TRAILING FUCKING SPACES AAAAHHHH!!!

Got some feedback for an app today via email...
"You are a fucking idiot! Stupid piece of shit!" Well, I guess one user didn't like it then... Rude fucking wankhat!

I hardly use Windows, but had to book tickets using my friend's laptop who only had Windows.
So I switch on my mobile data, and the stupid shit just ate up all my data in updating Windows without even asking for permission 😣
Learnt my lesson

Splash pages. Remember that crap from 20 years ago? That was a home page with some "click to enter" nonsense to get to the actual home page. Laughably stupid.

Today's empty home pages where you have to scroll down to get to any real content is exactly the same moronic pattern, just by another name: showing off useless design wankery and forcing user interaction to bypass it. Fuck you if you still do that shit.

Why is skids trying so hard when it comes to talking shit about Windows? Do they think that is it the only way to get accepted into the GNU/Linux community?

Personally, I think people who does that look stupid and dumb.

PowerShell is the slowest, most pathetic, unelegant attempt at copying bash.
The Command-Names are stupid and impossible to remember, the syntax is too awkward to put a name on it.
And holy shit how painfully slow can it be!
It feels like it's Java running in a Windows 95 VM running on a dead cow that was revived against its own will by a Cortana ghost that pretends to be GDPR-compliant.

Shit that annoys me: People use the store (insert google play/apple/other) rating with one star to ask questions instead of fucking filling the stupid contact form or send an email to tech support.

FFS Adobe fix your payment shit, it is fucking stupid

You stupid shit jerk fucks.

Your request to disable the coming soon mode was hours ago. Of course google will show you coming soon text when you searched for it. It is not like google is under my arse or something.

And what do you mean it is not showing up on YAHOO!
Who the hell is still using YAHOO! ?
And that YAHOO! showed me that coming soon text result just like GOOGLE when I tried. So why is it not showing that to you? Oh right, maybe because you are old and stupid.

Today is already busy enough with packing our stuffs, stop giving us stupid tasks to fix.

I really hate fucking Wordpress!

I hate it's stupid API, with it's stupid hooks and actions and all those stupid functions and no fucking logic to any of it!

I hate it's stupid plugin system, with all that fucking overhead that brings no real value and adds all that complexity for nothing!

I hate stupid fucking multiple calls for the same fucking assets, loading them over and over again because every stupid plugin calls them again and again!

I hate motherfucking SHORTTAGS, or whatever the fuck they are called!

I hate that every stupid fucking plugin and shortcode and fucking every little fucking piece of HTML comes from a different fucking place, with different fucking structure and different fucking classes and stupid fucking loading seaquences that make no fucking sense!

And I hate fucking page builders !!!!!

Fuck!!!!

I should be fucking coding on this fucking peace of shit, but I just cannot fucking take it any more!!!

IT NEEDS TO FUCKING DIE!

It should be relegated to the darkest corners of the internet and all the servers that have it's fucking code anyware on their systems should be disconnected and buried in the deepest pits of hell, just to be sure it never, EVER, surfaces again!!!

AAARRRRGGGHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!

Finally Spend two fucking days debugging shit until I figured it it. Freaking stupid shit encoding problems and old data combined isn't fun. Dafuq why can't everybody use UTF-8 or Unicode or something else but PLEASE stop using some old school IBM shit codepages.
Leckt mich doch am arsch mit diesem scheiß man -_-

When you can't rant about the stupid shit at work because your fucking idiot coworkers are on devRant and you can't afford to lose the job quite yet...

Applying to more internships today and found this:

Position: full stack blockchain engineer intern

Basic qualifications:
- 7+ years of experience in software development
- 2+ years experience developing smart contracts
- 5+ years professional experience in Java, Go, Node.js

Wtf is this? What intern has 5+ years of professional software development?

Why even label the posting as an intern when u want someone with years of experience?

Stupid fucking shit I swear

IT Head: Hey, can you check out why application X isn't working? I've already restarted it and it isn't working anymore.

Me: sure.

Me 20 mins later: hey, looks like it is all good, website is normal, server resources are normal, etc...

IT Head: no no, the windows sync app isn't working.

Me inside: are you fucking kidding me you piece of stupid shit? Quit IT for good and die.

A meeting about defining the
definition of done (…)
I know I mentioned it before, but it’s beyond stupid.

- Lasted 2.5 hours
- Didn’t solve shit
- Could have been solved by adding a freaking column in our Jira, but someone wanted a physical board cause let’s waste paper I guess.

Just imagine 2.5 hours of continuous suggestions and stupid reject reasons.

Fun fact: it was called by a “senior” dev which rejected every single purposal cause they also didn’t want to change the process.

Idfk why I didn’t leave the company sooner, had to get a massive burnout before realising my sanity is worth more than being paid the minimum in the office.

Is it normal for every stupid, arrogant, selfish person to talk all kinds of bad stuff about my app and attack me personally on the play store? It's just a soundboard and it's free you pricks, be grateful for once and don't mind the god damn ads so much. I can't believe that shit.

Eclipse, you lousy shit bitch of an ass hole - yeah I went there.

So I spent several hours today trying to get eclipse to:
1) just fucking launch without erroring out and crashing
2) actually work with a reasonable dark theme. (Yea right)

But no you hunk of shit, both of these seems nearly impossible for you. And just when I get you to work, the stupid fucking lack of syntax highlighting is just dreadful as fuck. If I didn’t have to use it for Salesforce development I sure as hell wouldn’t.

Teaching JavaScript to a master of classical programming (only uses C++, Python, Ruby, etc.). Here are the results:

1. What
2. What the fuck
3. Why
4. Why the fuck
5. Oh shit that's useful
6. Oh shit that's stupid
7. Why would anyone do that
8. Why isn't anyone else doing that
9. This is crazy complex
10. This is stupid easy

How the fuck am I going to make a fucking email signature appear the same everywhere when the client insists in using a piece of shit software called Outlook and I am a goddam backend developer.

I don't give a shit about spacing and color and stupid fucking fonts.

Thank for listening. Have a great day.

Visual studio is a fucking piece of trash IDE and it should be banned from programming because of how SHIT it is, how can it not let met fucking reference things properly, why can't I acess the FUCKING FOLDER I'VE JUST CREATED, how can it not recognize that I've just added a folder from outside??

WHY EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE DIFFUCULT WITH IT??????

Why can't it be smart like Android Studio :cries:

YOU ARE A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT MICROSOFT, FIX YOUR FUCKING STUPID PIECE OF SHIT WORTHLESS DUMB IDE, FUCKING BILLIONAIRE COMPANY THAT CAN'T MAKE A SMART IDE, DUMB FUCK VISUAL STUDIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes am really pissed off with stack overflow, it won't let you comment if you have less points.
Its like yeah, you can make an answer with every stupid shit possible but no, you can't comment or get any good author's attention, he might be meditating -_-

There has probably not been any situation when I would feel more stupid than now.
I just did a refresh of windows. It means quite a lot of work, as I need to do all the WSL related config and so on.
And I did it because I'm an extremely smart man and I didn't check that my primary screen was turned off.
I WONDER WHY I COULDN'T SEE SHIT

I’m LOLing at the audacity of one of our vendors.

We contract with a vendor to build and maintain a website. Our network security team noticed there was a security breach of the vendor’s website. Our team saw that malicious users gained access to our Google Search console by completing a challenge that was issued to the vendor’s site.

At first, the vendor tried to convince us that their site wasn’t comprised and it was the Google search Console that was compromised. Nah dude. Our Search Console got compromised via the website you maintain for us. Luckily our network team was able to remove the malicious users from our search console.

That vendor site accepts credit card payments and displays the user’s contact info like address, email, and phone. The vendor uses keys that are tied to our payment gateway. So now my employer is demanding a full incident report from the vendor because their dropping the ball could have compromised our users’ data and we might be responsible for PCI issues.

And the vendor tried to shit on us even more. The vendor also generates vanity urls for our users. My employer decided to temporarily redirect users to our main site (non vendor) because users already received those links and in order to not lose revenue. The vendor’s solution is to build a service that will redirect their vanity urls to our main site. And they wanted to charge us $5000 usd for this. We already pay them $1000 a month already.

WTAF we are not stupid. Our network service team said we could make the argument that they do this without extra charge because it falls in the scope of our contract with them. Our network team also said that we could terminate the contract because the security breach means they didn’t render the service they were contracted to do. Guess it’s time for us to get our lawyer’s take on this.

So now it looks like my stakeholders want me to rebuild all of this in house. I already have a lot on my plate, but I’m going to be open to their requests because we are still in the debrief phase.

How I feel after unnecessarily deleting my USB stick

My sister needed a "big USB stick" I deleted the contents of my 32gb stick and went to her pc, we started loading her photos on it, I see the 8gb stick and ask her what she needed my stupid stick for

And yes the other one was empty...

Java is so fucking stupid. Literally nobody likes Java. Fucking stupid ass language and every app that uses it is laggy and stupid as fuck. Fuck you Oracle. This is why literally nobody uses your cloud platform. Stupid deprecated shit that nobody uses anymore.

Anyone that uses Java is forced to because the software ware literally made 949349 years ago. Java is just such a stupid language and so fucking laggy. NOBODY LIKES JAVA VIRTUAL MACHINE. WHAT A STUPID INVENTION. WHOEVER DID THAT NEEDS TO BE FIRED ASAP. Oracle is such a stupid company. Make something that people actually want to use, because obviously nobody wants to fucking use Java. Nasty ass laggy fucking language.

Fuck you

HOLY FUCK (!dev) SOMEONE KILL THE MANAGEMENT OF DEUTSCHE BAHN ALREADY

Seriously where can I complain? delays on every single train i was on since weeks. and always because of some stupid shit like "we need to let another train pass by". wtf you didnt know that earlier?

Repetitive task is my worst nightmare. And I am currently experiencing it, thanks to my fucking stupid shit module at university.

I just want to give up and sleep.

I became a programmer so that I could have the privilege of working remotely. So I am at home, my mom's place that is. I can never get in the "concentration zone" first thing in the morning, because before I know it, my mother and sister are having some stupid heated up argument about clothes and shit, and it bothers me anyway through my headphones -.-

Now I think I'd rather work in an office.

Stupid piece of legacy shit needing to silent print without the dialogs in IE on windows 10.

this is proving to be a thing of nightmares.

this has worked for years but no windows need to block this “for security”

windows and security - i would laugh but this is going to keep me awake at night.

Hate being in bed and a solution for a problems comes to mind and sleep is really needed. Makes me feel like a stupid useless piece of shit. Then I wake up and try it and it doesn't work anyways, so I am a useless piece of shit.

My problem with a lot of free resources/class assignments is we're being forced to make useless shit. For instance, an interactive textbook we use has some stupid fucking turtle assignments.

Why not make it something relevant? One of the first things i ever made was a Fahrenheit to Celcius converter. That's a real world application, since not many can calculate that math in their head.

why did kotlin documents use these fucking idiotic font that combines 2 characters into one stupid looking icon? how is it friendly to a noob? how am i suppose to know how exactly am I suppose to input these piece of shit?

OKAY

WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS STUPID ANDROID EMULATOR.

ALL I WANT TO DO IS LISTEN TO MY MUSIC WHILE PROGRAMMING

BUT NOOOOOOO

WHENEVER THE FUCKING EMULATOR IS OPEN THE QUALITY OF THE MUSIC IN MY BLUETOOTH HEADPHONES GOES TO aBsOluTe SHIT.

CMON GUYS. GET YOUR HEADPHONES OUT OF YOUR ASS AND TEST YOUR FUCKING SOFTWARE

I HATE automated messages on Slack

Remove fucking GitHub updates, Jira updates, all this stupid bullshit that pollutes actual communication between humans in all that fucking shit and makes me miss actual messages because I ignored a channel where that garbage cancer shit was set up on?

What's wrong with going to fucking Jira and GitHub and checking how things are going THERE?

TL;DR
Front-end dev trying to dictate back-end tech.

We are gonna start split stack (front / back ) development with the following projects and this stupid fucker who knows jackshit about backend , servers, etc... , is more versed in front end stuff and said herself that she knows nothing about databases told me this:

"No way we are gonna use Java."

I politely said:

"We are gonna analyze the projects requirements and see what technologies best fit the scenario"

Me inside my head:

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID CUNT, GET YOUR FUCKING JAVASCRIPT AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!! IF WE DECIDE TO JAVA THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING THATS HOW ITS GONNA BE!"

FUCK!
After submitting a registration form I noticed the site is served over plain HTTP. Their marketing site is served encrypted, but login and register are not! What the fuck!!!

Fuck everyone who does this stupid fucking shit with disregard to basic security features! Their goddamn bullshit privacy policy is bragging about how it's top priority to protect their customers' information and shit like that. Get the fuck out, cunts!!

I contacted them so I might have a continuation to this rant if I'm not satisfied with their answers.

Goddamn it!

Another shithole agency reached out to me out of the blue 4 weeks after my application.

The senior bro sends me an assignment with 30 requirements to build an app with multiple screens. Ofcourse no design provided and no API provided. Timeline 2 weeks.

Tried ask to expedite the process and reason with him because now Im in other processes where Im expecting an offer next week so I can send him a link to a very similar project I did, he can review and if he wants to I can jump on a technical call and I can answer all questions. Guy ignored the proposal entirely and wants to stick with his stupid timelines and stupid requirements which he wrote probably down while taking a shit with zero research.

Best part is there was no introduction, no discussions about hourly rate or expectations, nothing.

Disorganized shithole. Told them to get their shit together and withdrew my application.

API Request validation is stupid.

Until you remember
* Your target audience is highschool students
* Your front end dev loves to fuck your stuff up
* His mom works in QA and she equally likes to fuck shit up
* It's just a good idea
* People just fucking suck

There's nothing like the fresh smell of emails on Monday morning, soooooooo fucking many random emails, actually, 2,708 fucking emails, 99.9999999% are stupid useless logs or alerts that have no meaning to me, and yet, I have to setup outlook rules to filter out this shit.

Ah, another glorious Monday 😤

I have to find a way to fucking sudo rm -rf /world/*/adver*

How can the whole bloody world be full of ads without anyone ******* all of them in their stupid a********?

I won't buy a shit from them..
never....

*Have idea.

*Start thinking about it.

*Start seriously thinking about it.

*Push yourself to do it.

*Have a mini unconscious panic attack that tells you you're gonna fail.

*Do something else completely unrelated to what you wanted to do.

*Feel good about the meaningless shit you just achieved.

*Recognize you're procrastinating.

*Try to stop.

*You can't cause you're stupid and lack the control and discipline to trick your own mind.

*Watch video about how to overcome procrastination.

*Get a more firmer understanding of it.

*Realize you're a helpless piece of shit.

*Cry till dead inside.

*Resume daily mindless shit.

A server application pulled off some sort of listings as table. Problem was, it crashed with some thousand data files after one and a half hours. I looked into that, and couldn't stop WTFing.

A stupid server side script fetched the data in XML (WTF!) and then inserted shit node-wise (WTF!!), which was O(n^2) - in PHP and on XML! Then it converted the whole shebang into HTML for browser display although users would finally copy/paste the result into Excel anyway.

The original developer even had written a note on the application page that pulling the data "could take long". Yeah because it's so fucking STUPID that Clippy is an Einstein in comparison, that's why!

So I pulled the raw data via batch file without XML wrapping and wrote a little C program for merging the dumped stuff client-side in O(n), spitting out a final CSV for Excel import.

Instead of fucking the server for 1.5 hours and then crashing, shit is done after 7 seconds, out of which the actual data processing takes 40 bloody milliseconds!

For months I was weak and tired. All the stupid IT work drained me of power to develop cool stuff during the nights.

And then I discovered my wunderwaffe- machine capsule-espresso.

Oh boy that shit is amazing.

Yay, now I know what that windows update was about... oh no, this isn't another "fuck windows, update broke shit again" post.

This is a "wtf, you dodgey shit bags" kind of post, "you" managed to install Skype, install this stupid ducking "meet now" service - which is fucking hidden (anyone have any pointers? Google's not doing its job yet), and now I have to uninstall office completely to remove Skype 🤦‍♂️

Why won't you fuckers let it go, didn't we ALL move to teams recently?

Not exactly new, but just so it does not get forgotten:

FUCK ECLIPSE.

Fuck that stupid piece of shit IDE and everything related to it.

Motherfucking stupid windows 10.

Wanted to try out cortana with all features after disabling it via regedit.
So naturally I created a Microsoft account and linked my user to it. Of course I used a random password generator and saved it in a passwort vault.
Then an update happened, I restarted my computer and guess what this stupid piece of SHIT garbage software did?
It prompted me to enter my password. Not the password I had for my local user BUT THE MOTHERFUCKING 15-DIGIT RANDOM PASSWORT GENERATED AND NOT EVEN VIEWED ONCE FUCKING SHIT!!!
Did they even ask if I wanted that? No they fucking didn't. Did they WARN ME? NO. NO THEY FUCKING DIDN'T.

That's the last straw. I'll kick windows down the garbage bin where it belongs and programm my own AI with open source software.

Stupid fucking MySQL.
I thought I have fixed your fucking issue.
I'm hungry and I wanna go home. It's 19:38 now.
I was up since 05:00 and started coding at like 06:00.
Grrrrrrrrr fucking piece of shit.

// Or was it the laptop at home that I fixed this issue? I don't know anymore. I'll try to fix you at other day.

My boss:

Doesn't manage the fucking agile board..

Doesn't call for meetings when we need...

Decides randomly for sprints duration.

Decides to do whatever he feels better with an obvious lack of thought.

Decides what to do based on assumptions instead of FUCKING ASKING THE FUCKING CLIENT!

Oh you stupid piece of shit how many time do we have to go over me explaining you how planning works and you pretending to agree?

Bluntly telling management that they're wrong, full of shit, and need to quit doing stupid things instead of just smiling and nodding and taking the paycheck. SPOILER ALERT: After 20 years in industry, they're NEVER going to change. They're just going to keep doing stupid shit. The best you can do is smile and politely point out that it's a problem. Then, look out for your own concerns and make sure you don't have to suffer with their bullshit decision as best as you can.

I have no idea how the fuck it happens, but whenever my mom uses computer, somehow, she manages to end up with the stupid shit Ask and other useless shitty extensions taking over Google Chrome!

:/

So, I've come to hate Sundays. You might ask me, why? Why Sunday of all days? The answer is very simple: My wont-shut-her-fucking-mouth roommate.

Woman should be a commentator at sport events. She woke up at 10 in the morning and has been talking to what seems like the entire fucking population of this goddamn world, it's going to be 10 in the night soon. I feel like I am staying as a leech so I have no say in this goddamn room.

Please someone help me design a fucking signal jammer so I can block out the signals to shut her up!

Kill me now!
FML

Imma be real with youse, i havent been posting shit cause i have a great job with great teammates and great management. Like it a rant that i cant rant but thats a good thig i guess. But ion wanna see devrant community goin down the gutter cause old members r leavin so imma stick around and post stupid shit in the comments as usual. So youse can stop bothering me bout bein inactive hmmm

Fuck college dude. My professor is a shit. I'm slow when it comes to instructions and some learning and so I don't usually get started as fast. Then after he decides to yell at me and tell me everything I'm doing is wrong he explains like I'm stupid and then fucking not even 30 seconds later asks me why im not 4 problems ahead with my paper.

Senior Dev Idiot: "Ugh, I have another meeting with my business users because they forgot how to use my app. I JUST had a training session with them last week too. Users are soo stupid!"

Yeah... No. If your users can't remember how to use your app after a damn week, that means your app is shit and not intuitive or user-friendly enough. YOU are the stupid one.

Jesus fucking stupid backend developers that don't listen when you tell them their shit doesn't work. So you end up wasting time again and again tracking down these fucking obscure issues that are caused by THE SAME FUCKING BACKEND ISSUE

CMAKE, YOU PILE OF SCRIPTING SHIT!

WHY THE FUCK CAN I NOT CHANGE MY BUILD DIRECTORY? I HAVE WASTED AN HOUR ON THIS UNBEARABLE SHITWEASEL OF AN EXCUSE FOR A BUILD SYSTEM!!!!

STOP SHITTING YOUR STUPID CACHE FILES INTO MY SOURCE FOLDER!!! AAAAAHHH!

Apple Sucks!

FUCKING MICROSOFT IIS SHIT.
I'm a .NET dev since 13 years and EVERY FUCKING TIME STUPID IIS MOTHERFUCKER AND STUPID WINDOWS SERVER have a different problem setting up because of some permission.
You can't never get a site up in IIS without loosing time and patience having weird 400/500.x errors because every fucking machine have to set up some tweaky and hidden permissions.
I have 2 identical fucking win servers and deploying a .NET core applications and on one works (test server) and obviously, on the production server it gives troubles.

FUCK YOU MICROSOFT FUCK YOU I would take the IIS devs personally here and whip them to death until they don't resolve the fucking thing

FUCK YOU VISUAL STUDIO! Fucking IIS site already running when restarting, reinstalling, checking port is open, checking past processes on that port, STILL NOTHING MOTHERFUCKER. Fuck I hate IIS.

You know what? I'm done with this bullshit of "do it and we review latter" when I ask clarification on requirements.

No you fucking stupid piece of shit, I'm a mother fucking professional developer, treat me with fucking respect!

I can't spend weeks trying to figure out wtf is your specific domain specifications if you ain't answer my questions with clarity I'm gonna keep asking them in slightly different ways as if you where a search engine and I'm trying to search wtf is in your mind.
Only then I'm gonna start planning/coding your shit.

I have better things to do.

Your lack of planning isn't my priority.

I fucking hate this low level programming shit. The fucking buffer overflow attacks and the whole understanding of the system architecture just goes over my mind. Can anyone who has found relatively useful resources be kind enough to refer them to me so my stupid mind can understand that better?

Do you guys have the concept of caller tune in your country?

It's like when someone calls you, they hear a fancy melody (selected by you) instead of tring tring..

What a stupid concept. I pay for that shit and someone else who calls me gets to hear the good music whereas when I call someone, I hear the stupid tring tring or some music that I don't want to hear.

Shouldn't it be like, I pick some tune and whenever I call anyone, I should be able to hear it instead of tring tring because I am paying for it and I love to hear good music?

I am sure the creature who invented the concept was a Raccoon on some cheap acid.

Sick and fucking tired of this bullshit.
Previously worked with Laravel, used 'gulp watch' to watch for changes in assets and now they changed things for the better of Laravel Mix as a fucking wrapper for webpack. Now I have to do shit load more stuff to get gulp working, 'cause otherwise my 'npm run watch' shits itself every fucking time I run that shit, doesn't matter what fix is aplied. Battling that bullshit for 3 days now and shit's not working anyhow. Stupid fucking bullshit. Sorry, had to let it out from myself.

Trying my luck for an A rank conference in like 3 months. Things are not done and anxiety will end me before then. 😑

Can't these stupid robots do their own thing without me and get published on my behalf? Shit is tiring! Arghhhhh

I seriously cannot stress how important it is to build good reliable tests. Especially regression testing.

I am crying inside over the amount of time I've lost in my integration hell.

Seriously stupid shit that should have been tested but never did because I was too fucking lazy. Don't be me. Don't put yourself in the hell I'm in. Be better.

Fuck the managers !! Fucking Fuck Fuck !!!
I am in manual testing for 3 years. Wanted to move in to automation since 2016 January !
They kept delaying.
While waiting I kept autating stuffs and making utilities to use for everyone.
Recently automated a 5 yr old manual process.
Made an utility that can perform a 5 hours manual activity in 5 mins.
Our automation team had a vacancy.
The managers were asked to nominate names who could fill the spot from the current manual team.
They didn't suggested my name.
I am not bragging but I am the only person in the team who nows Selenium , UFT , Java , Python even though being in the manual testers.
The team is going to hire someone from the outside.
I just got to know it all this today.

These bastards should die in hell !!!!
I hate these bastards !!!!

There should be a developer licence so we could stop these stupid wannabes from getting into and ruining the industry with their shit work. We're so fed up maintaining these stupid codes the company previously outsourced somewhere on earth.

That :( smiley on BSOD is fucking stupid. I mean who the fuck designed this shit?!

Question: What do you mean that you have a bachelor in computer science from college? What do you mean college?
Answer by me: Are you fucking stupid or something???? Give a fucking code test and I will saw you what college means... Little piece of shit!!!! And next time when you are searching for PHP developer do not ask for site development with WordPress experience you fucking noob!!!!

Only possible in germany.

Just why?

Macbook keyboard is shit
Especially european variant.

I want to see any person in the world that is braindead enough to think that making short left shift if favour of having abolutely useless button there is good.
This is the most stupid decision that could be ever made.

Not only the symbols used by that button are seldom used, they also are duplicated on they other keyboard keys. But shift is used all the time and must be big enough instead of that shit.

Piece of shit shitware called visual studio, I only need you because of that stupid vcvarsall.dll, so I gave you a folder on my HDD, but nooo, You just had to ignore this and place yourself on my SSD. My poor SSD that has very little space left.

Fuck you visual studio. To me you are a literal waste of Time, Space and Sanity

Anyone else fucking pissed off by all the shit saying "Learn to Code in 21 Days".

You don't see anyone trying to become a doctor in 21 days so why the fuck do people think our work is so easy that any fucking asshole can do it in 21 days.

Fuck this whole fucking stupid world...

Search on Windows is annoyingly awful. Like who needs your shitty Bing results before my delayed PC results. This stupid piece of shit gets everything delayed all together!

Today's my birthday... As usual, I worked in my office... At morning (approx 11:30AM) I received a call from my boss yelling cause a shit deadline and for some shit that I didn't sent to him (I already sent, the bastad was in vacation and didn't saw it)... His wife wished me happy birthday but the mother fucker didn't say a shit instead yelling during all day... Our relationship sucks cause he's a fucking bastard that doesn't know a shit of development process and I am done of his stupid shit... I fucking need to change my job!!!!

Don't you just love it when you get a project with no requirements doc, so you make your own spec and requirements, start to architect and develop the project correct way, the 2 weeks later your manager comes to you asking why wasn't features XYZ not included and how you should add functionalities for A B and C...

!dev
Matrix 4 trailer was such a shit show.

I don’t know why, but I honestly believed that it would not be as bad as it turned out to be. I’m such a stupid prick for believing in it.

FUCK YOU LANA WACHOWSKI. I HATE YOU AND EVERYONE RELATED TO THE PRODUCTION OF THIS CANCEROUS PIECE OF SHIT.

Learning JS in 2018 is like asking programming advice from sales people. What the fuck is going on man? Halfway through trying to convince the company to use all these new shits, I felt stupid as shit.

I fucking hate everyone who sends me a voice message, Just text me motherfucker how can I find some info we discussed earlier, you want me to listen to all your stupid messages with your lazy ass voice to only find the shit I'm looking for.

Why React is soo complicated? Seriously why do we always need to use some stupid shit like this

const [state, setState] = useState();

what the fuck is this? Who designed it that way, why it should always look like shit for no reason? Why its API feels like spaghetti? When i am comparing other front-end frameworks they feel like heaven in their structure.

AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME HAVING A QUOTE ON A PARAGRAPH ELEMENT, WHY DO I HAVE TO USE FUCKING HTMLENTITES FROM 2000?

FUCK&apos;ERE

Could we all just agree that Mac is a piece of shit in terms of performance? Specially with those lousy animations and that stupid dock?

Got Archlinux running on my Macbook. Happy days again.

can there just ONCE be a FUCKING react native library that works as it is FUCKING documented?

but NOOOO, gotta always sift through the absolute shit pile that is GitHub issues threads digging out arcane horseshit to make the stupid shit work just like the little managers want

on and on into the circus enternity

My wife is a bigger nerd that me. She just told me Rooster Teeth is shutting down. Who knows shit like that? I haven't looked at anything Rooster Teeth since Red vs Blue.

Earlier conversation with her about something else:
Me: I can't believe how stupid people are. I cannot believe people are stupid enough to...
Her: Hold up. You really need to expand your imagination about how stupid people can actually be.
Me: I am not smart enough to understand how stupid people can be.

Yeah, I think she may be the smart one. She makes up for my weaknesses.

FUCK YOU WORDPRESS wtffff with that shit , i can't use multisite if running in 8081 port ?, fuck you! your """ cli """, your media folder with that month and year stupid subfolders, your plugins and your fucking unit test running on a complete WP instance. GO FUCK YOURSELF! stop with that shit and remake all that shit.

I've seen a bunch of people criticizing the people who repeatedly criticize/hate windows.

Lemme stop you right there.

Now, hating on something just because it IS that something is stupid, I'll grant you that much. But when windows does stupid shit, I am going to complain about said stupid shit.

Deal with it.

Fuck, really FUCK the fucking MySQLWorkbench on Mac.
Useless piece of shit.
I fucking touched some fucking buttons and now I can't have my view back with query editor, output results, and schema view.

A fucking hour wasted restarting this shit of a tool touching things, nothing. All to execute a fucking stupid query.
AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH FUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK
I NEED to work, not to understand how your stupid GUI works, designed by a cripple mind with poor IQ and developed by retarded

stupid frameworks and all your stupid nice looking code but overload of necessity I am actually debating on going off of the grid or at least ditching frameworks and just throwing shit at the wall and squeezing my knee

Alright I hate these backhanded guilt trip attempts for people to sign you up for their spammy stupid email campaigns. If I don't want to subscribe don't give me a sarcastic smart ass button that I have to hit. (note the text at bottom) then again I also hate myself because this is totally the kind of shit I would do if I owned a news site...

Sometimes when i drop my fone, break something or say something stupid i yearn for a real life "Ctrl + Z", and just undo that shit right quick.

What I learnt after 3 hrs of debugging for a stupid issue today ?

Lesson 1 - Getting some unknown error even though your code ks right and no error in logs ? Check you SQL version and its rules.

Lesson 2 - phpmyadmin is fuckin shit ass software

Lesson 3- I need to learn JavaScript for backend ASAP

Fuck the design guidelines that change every fucking day. It makes Front-End an unbearable hell. I'm seriously tired of having to code stupid shit for exceptions exceptions exceptions.

I AM ABOUT TO KICK SOME PROFESSORS ASSES!!!!!!!!!!
THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE MAKING GO MAD BEYOND MY BOUNDS WITH THERE MOTHERFUCKING STUPIDITY AND SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS.

LISTEN YOU FUCKS I WORK AS A PROGRAMMER TO PAY FOR MY FUCKING TUITION. NO IT IS NOT A PART-TIME JOB. I FUCK UP MY SCHEDULE SO I CAN CAME HERE TO THIS SHIT LEARNING SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU FUCKERS DO NOT HAVE A LECTURE AFTER HOURS.

SO WE I SAID THAT I CAN ONLY CAME TO THIS CLASS AT THIS TIME AND DAY OF THE WEEK I AM NOT BULLSHITING YOU.

SO DO US A FAVOR AND STOP BEING SO FUCKING STUPID AND GIVING ME THAT CYNICAL SMILE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.

FUCK YOU FUCKER AND YOUR PIECE OF SHIT CLASS.

In the “Qualities of Great Design” session at #WWDC2018. Really wish the Xcode team could be sitting in the front row so they couldn’t sleep thru the session...

oh i guess being the optimist I was thinking they would even be here. Silly me.

All the bugs that drive me effen crazy are clear and present in Xcode 10 beta. Stupid shit still rules at Xcode Central.

Just spent three and a half hours reconfiguring security cameras and troubleshooting over and over why the fuck internal and external weren’t reachable...

I failed to realize the DDNS was handing out the IP of 127.0.0.1 and 3.0.0.0 because nothing fucking stated that up until I found a small text link to the camera’s DDNS registration page... logged in with the customers info and low and behold the mother fucker was handing stupid shit out.

I hate that I overlook the simplest shit when I’m stressed and in a rush...

I need to learn to take deep breaths, but fuck that... I want to blow shit up.

Stop writing motherfucking state management libraries every week that are supposed to "take the pain out" of redux. Fuck this. If you find redux hard, I don't think we should work together. Shit, there are so many difficult concepts regarding web development, but redux? Redux is hard? Fuck you, stupid bitch!

That time when I requested someone from a different department to include the ID row in their database excerpt. Me, having the lowest possible status in the company, did not know the who I wrote to was the boss over at the other department. So I ask straight forward: "Could you please include the ID row?"

Then a damn long email comes back stating that there was absolutely no time for stupid shit as mine. There existed no ID row and I would only waste his time. All further requests should be route via my boss.

So, fuck, he's pissed. So what he deserve? A shit load of honey right into his mouth, like he wants to.
That company had a huge ass hierarchy in job positions and I was at the bottom. So I write my oh-im-so-sorry-mail.

~I never knew what position he had and that I would of course fuck off with my stupid request.~

What was his response?

Oh, yeah, thanks. Have a look into the attachment, is that the ID row you requested?

Yeah, as one can guess, it was.
Stupid honeyfucker. Of course an ID row exists, duh.

just as Erik Meijer said scrum is the most stupid shit in modern development process. I worked in an organization hires ppl as full time scrum master, which is joke. each day the asks what did u finished yesterday and how long it need to finish the task assigned to u. btw the scrum masters know nothing about programming. come on man how can u finish any serious shit in one day and who cares how much shit others finished. each week just attending those freaking meetings without coding. each programmer are assigned at least 5 bosses, and what the fuck is product manager doing, it's not adding indirection can solve anything.

Just worked 12 hrs straight because the guy who earns more than twice my sallary (and ist currently on holiday in some fucking greek Island) ist to stupid to shit!!!!

This is unfair! You can not pay me very little because I am young and then give me all the responsibilities!!

why do cooperate companies insist in using IE. IE is stupid 😟 I can't take IE's shit, man.

Me : "please install chrome on users computers.."
them: "no we are upgrading to IE 10 today.."
me: " but whyy? 😟.. at least upgrade to IE 11 😟"

Month passed so I looked at job offers and I am tired again.

All of them look the same and all of them look like crap. Some require stupid online tests preparation ( cause everyone likes to traverse tree 10000 times a day ).

Seriously I think I will go to supermarket and work there.
It’s more pleasant then getting input and pushing it in some stupid places all over again.
Finding some shit in shit pile, then moving this shit pile back and forth between different shit holes.

AI should start writing this stupid code, robots should provide food and build shelter.
The sooner the better for all of us.

Ok guys. Here’s a company who used to offer a slack alternative free and unlimited but now charges anywhere from 79 dollars to 100 to 790 dollars for the same product. Company is Ryver. I dare say they just pissed off tons of customers who loved them for their generous limits. The worst thing is is that if you already have more than 6 users from when they offered the generous free plan, they put you into READ ONLY even for existing members. I thought I’d share this corporate fuckery with people who care. Unless you have tons of cash to burn, don’t try their product. Thanks for reading.

Describe one instance when you thought, "Fuck this shit, I'm done with this client". Preferably when the client came up with stupid/impossible requirements

CORS is shit
Stupid useless shit that protects from nothing. It is harmful mechanism that does nothing but randomly blocks browser from accessing resources - nothing more.

Main idea of CORS is that if server does not send proper header to OPTIONS request, browser will block other requests to that server.

What does stupid cocksuckers that invented CORS, think their retarded shit can protect from?
- If server is malicious, it will send any header required to let you access it.
- If client has malicious intents - he will never use your shit browser to make requests, he will use curl or any ther tool available. Also if server security bases on something as unreliable as http headers it sends to the client - its a shit server, and CORS will not save it.

Can anyone give REAL examples when CORS can really protect from anything?

When I say Unsubscribe, I mean Unsubscribe you stupid annoying spammer, I don't care anymore about your shit

Today has officially drained all the brain I didn't even have yesterday. Let's hope I get somewhere with this thing, or else all the brain I've wasted is going to be useless.

Also, fuck opencv's fisheye undistortion. Mofo, I don't have the camera params, how the fuck do you want me to give you your stupid kernel shit? Shut the fuck up from my face. Stupid hoebag.

... 😭😭😭😭😭

With all the stupid fucking animated shit on websites: videos that popup, advertisements that flash (really?), things that popup if you move your mouse, headers that move weirdly relative to your scrolling, and more... Its like the 90s all over again with animated gifs, popups and other garbage. Is there some stupid web designer course saying animating shit is a good idea? The videos that move around are the worst. They totally fuck with my peripheral vision and make me want to rage quit the site.

I’m extremely frustrated with my job situation. I want to code, I absolutely love building stuff with software. My current job is a “tech” job, but involves absolutely zero coding. I don’t know what else I can do to stand out more or make myself a better candidate.

-I’m a new-grad with a flawless in-major GPA (computer science major)
-I have other past internship experiences that involve coding
-I frequently do my own side projects and post them to GitHub
-I work well on teams (life-long and collegiate athlete)

I apply to tons and tons of places only to get no response, or to have a single fucking interview and then get dropped

Fuck this stupid shit I am so frustrated

polymorphic relationships are fucking stupid. it's a great way to make your shit more complex and less maintainable for no benefit other than having 1 less table (which also makes queries slower since they can't be optimized correctly).

damn

even hacktoberfest is going woke this year

no more t-shirts

some stupid digital pin probably that can forever spew out CO2 somewhere on some server farm in iceland or something

to be clear, i'm not a climate change denyer. but it stupid shit like this as to why we can't have nice things. all the incentives are backwards. change my mind

would have been the 5th shirt too... 😉

i'll probably print myself one anyway

I'm getting pretty tired of all those fuck faces calling themselves "evangelists" and are talking constantly and euphorically about "digitalisation" and "industry 4.0", as if their "skills" (using a smartphone to share kitten videos and making pointless PowerPoint slides using stock images showing some stupid motherfucker with VR goggles making weird gestures) would help them to rise to the pinnacle of "the future" (as conceived by them), while those stupid shit heads are exactly those we'll get rid of first as soon as somebody develops a bullshit generator AI for technobabble (with an export function to PowerPoint), putting those morons out of business for good.

Day #1: You start working on something new, you feel stupid because you don't know anything.
Day #2: You learned the basic concepts. Start feeling so well.
Day #3-9...: Start feeling like you know everything.
Day #?: You start something new, you feel like the last piece of shit un the world.
Repeat

Fuck it. Two big releases plus all the minor shit raining down on our team with only three active devs. A new team member who's unfortunately more of a burden and nuisance while the whole ship burns so beautifully....
And stupid me? I fucking break my arm, is in a cast now for four weeks. So I can mostly watch, while everything sinks.

I committed a sin for which I can never forgive myself.

At work, we were using some react plugin but it was lacking some functionality.

In the end, I forked the repo and released plugin on npm -_-

FML, I contributed to this stupid shit while I was happy with despising over this stupid framework fad from other side.

Ps: It was friday.

- First company that have female CEO and female CFO
- First female position got that

IS THAT A THING NOW?

and all of those shit are shared by erogant stupid people who claim that they are not gender picky bustards..
just work and let people work without being hypocrite double-faced

apple you piece of shit just let me have xcode i dont want to make a stupid fucking account, so can you fuck off?

and why do you HAVE to have billing address information to create a fuckign account or am i a retard who cant figure out how to make a fuckign account without providing it because your UI is not retard proof enough

fuck u

Been put on debug duty, shit fucking SUCKS ASS.

Demotivating as hell seeing other people implementing cool features while you're doing this stupid shit trying to reproduce bugs that appear in production. Fucking hell.

OK, I kind of liked this devRant thing, when I clicked to register for a new account, I got a stupid popup about free stickers, clicked it, the title says "get free stickers ...", to catch users attention but then you read "you have to reach 30 ++'s on a single rant"
OK, fuck off, I don't want these stupid stickers and stop doing this shit again.

Fucking travel auditors and yous stupid rules for travel reports. I've sent you countless e-mails explaining the situation and you can't fucking read?! YOU told me how I was supposed to fill the report and I did it as you told me to, but dare to reject it?!
Fucking incompetent and useless morons, you ain't worth shit! Fuck you and your stupid travel report!

iOS 10 pulls this 3D Touch shit on me and they're dropping headphone jacks. What's next? Vegan iPhones? Gluten free home buttons? Over engineered shit. Nobody wants 3D Touch. It's stupid.

Started as a "web dev" with a lot of jquery/Mootools/internal-shit and PHP3/4, PERL, and some C/C++/for modules...

The worst part was the CSS and fucking PSD to integrate with a stupid design...
The PHP present world...

Fuck yea!
We'll cancel our 1&1 internet contract —
And move to QuiX.

Countryside internet is shit. And QuiX builds fiberglass (or so) on countryside while stupid ass telekom only dares to enrich cities with fast internet connection.

And no I'm being paid by QuiX to say this. I don't know, maybe they suck but since I am a gamer in need of fast internet, I'm excited at least..

Fucking EA Games and their fucking shit mailing system!!
All the sudden they start spamming me emails about their shit games nobody fucking cares about. I proceed to inspect the footer to find an 'unsubscribe' link and there was none, just a 'manage my preferences' link.
So I went there. After waiting a whole minute for a simple page to load (wtf) there is a checkbox saying 'yes please spam my inbox with EA's latest news about their shit games nobody cares about' and it was UNCHECKED.
So I leave it unchecked and click update (thinking it might actually unsubscribe me from this crap) BUT NO! I receive another email saying 'thank you, you stupid moron you just subscribed to our shit and will now receive even more of our useless email about how different the new NFS is and how rubbish the new Star wars game is...
FUCK

Hello and welcome to COMPANY! Where our release process is more complicated than writing the goddamned code. Enjoy using our shitty undocumented, proprietary tools to create change requests and then thrill as it takes days to do anything!

Seriously, fuck this stupid shit. Who's grand idea was this. I am a developer, not a paper pusher.

Hey, if your repo shows up as a popular search result, and there hasn’t been an update to it in 7 years, AND it has more than 200 open issues, AND it’s a buggy piece of shit… DELETE THAT SHIT ASSHOLE. It’s a disservice to let people use your fucking stupid abomination that was relevant years ago. Swallow your pride and remove it from the internet.

Why are some professors in uni so god damn incapable of teaching?

I am in the midst of one of the most important classes of my uni career, algorithms, and I've been paired with the most incompetent, uncaring piece of shit professor on gods green earth.

First off, his mic sounds like an absolute ass-blasted bic mac. Shit is awful. Sounds like a bass boosted ear-r*pe meme from youtube.

On top of this, his way of "teaching" is showing us pictures he took of his whiteboard from when classes weren't virtual. He then opens these pictures in MS paint so he can circle what hes currently looking at and draw lines and stupid shit across the screen.

WHY IS THIS ALLOWED. WHY ARE THESE INCAPABLE OLD FUCKS ALLOWED TO TEACH STILL.

oh shitty shit of all shits in the world

I just run out of time on a crossover test of Android Architect because of a stupid call by a stupid old friend.

The test were a bit difficult but I did something really good, and I was on the step 4/5.

Is there more useless and stupid feature in a laptop than a touch screen ?
I have one in my work machine and only time I "use" it is when I accidently click some shit while closing the lid.

Pain in the ass.
To think that some people actually are paying extra $ for it.

One of my friends just royally pissed me off by deciding to repeat some crap she heard on TV about suicide being very selfish. I have depression and she's just taken a huge shit on mental health I'm. She can be a stupid cow sometimes...

That SATISFACTION u get after finally fixing a bug which has been irritating the shit outta u for 2 fucking hours!! Just had to figure out a correct timeline for my stupid android chain animations so that the views do not screw up each other's animations!

"You can never understand everything, but you can push yourself to understand the system"

If I hear this stupid quote one more time I will scream.

Node.js is a piece of shit and thanks to Ryan Dahl, we now have to deal with ugly JS not only on the frontend, but also the backend.

FUCK JEST. ITS ALL SHIT. I CANT HAVE A DIFFERENT MOCK RESULT FOR ONE TEST AND KEEP THE OTHERS THE SAME WITHOUT REWRITING THEM.

THIS IS THE REASON NOBODY REALLY WANTS TO DO TESTS, NOT BECAUSE THEYRE STUPID BUT BECAUSE THE FRAMEWORKS ARE THE PINNACLE OF CANCER THEMSELVES.

(was just talking to Root now, and it reminded me of this)

You know what I fucking hate about Android phones? They do stupid shit like update your keyboard WHILE you are typing. Hate Apple as I may for having inferior hardware and ridiculous pricing, the iPhone is more worth having than Android. I simply find the features a lot better executed on iPhone than Android, almost across the board

OK, I know the general consensus of StackOverflow on DevRant...but jesus h christ...do devs not debug their own shit anymore? I can't say how many times I see "I get this exception...how do I fix...hurrr durrr....". When it all comes down to it, if they just attached a debugger and looked that variables/properties, they'd see what kind of stupid shit they are doing.

Powershell is fucking great. Expand my shitty variable before I call the applet. Fucking call the applet and you shit yourself stupid and think the variable is now empty. Take my variable and shove it up your daft gigantic ass powershell. Fuck you.