Client: This works correctly, but I don’t like the code.

Me: What exactly do you not like?

Client: There are barely any lines of code. You need to add more to make it better.

I...I don’t know what to say.

This is my collection of geeky stickers! Do you like it? :)

Girl: Can you make me an app?
Me: What kind of app do you have in mind?
Girl: I want it to be... like an app!
Me: Sounds a bit to difficult sorry.

Sometime I’m developing in Rust and I do something wrong.

Then I look at the terminal and it says...

“You did X, did you mean to do Y”

Then I do it and it works perfectly, and I’m like...

Why do I even have a job if the compiler is this good?

Saw an ad for Wix, went like this:

"You need a website, why not do it yourself?"

Aren't they advertising to NOT use their crappy platform?

Recruiter: Will you like to do internship?

Me: yes,how much time I need to dedicate?
R : 40 hrs/week atleast

Me : Is it a paid internship?

R : No we will provide you with experience letter

Like seriously 40hrs/WEEK unpaid

Sexist prick alert!

So wearing my summer dress and generally all dolled up for a massive work summer party I hear from one of the devs from a remote location that "wow, I do not look like a developer" and "I look like I should have things explained to me at a high overview ha-ha-ha" but it was "a compliment" so me getting pissed was "overreacting" and I "should calm down"

Sorry but no.

Please do not ever say anything like that to any female developer, even if you mean it "as a compliment" (that sounds like.. you know.. like you're saying women generally prefer make up to thinking)

That's lame af if you ask me

I can't watch others use a computer.

That's not how you ask google a question.

You're clicking the wrong way.
You click like an idiot.

Why are you scrolling like that? do you hate moving down the page so mutch it makes you scroll like that?

Why am i forced to sit through this?
When will this end?

Interviewer: Alright, so tell me what you like about software, but you don't have to limit it to software you can talk about hardware too. But yes what do you like about software?

Me:

"and what do you do for a living?"
"I study software engineering and work as a software engineer part time"
"Really? You don't look like it!"
"Excuse me? What do I have to look like?"

The stereotypes are strong in development...

Dev: So how do you want this feature fixed?

Manager: It should work how it worked before.

Dev: I'm new to this feature, I don't know how it worked before or what is broken about it.

Manager: Well just make it work like it worked before.

Dev: I DONT KNOW HOW IT WORKED BEFORE THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU. PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN DO MY JOB.

Manager: Just how it worked before!

Dev: ...

Manager: ...

Dev: fuck you

did you ever ever do like this ? i'm pretty sure it was wasting time. :)

Client: "I need you to implement a feature which does x"
Me: "We can it do like this, I can do it in Y hours."
Client: "Perfect do it"

Me: "Here you go have a look and if you give your ok I'll implement it on production."
Client:"That is not what I need. I need Z"
Me: "Well then you should have said Z and not x. But I can do Z if you want me to."
Client:"Do it it is urgent!!!!111"

Me: "All done here you go."
Client: "That works like what I said what I need, but I meant more like xZ."
Me: "Ok, you know I have to charge you for all this, do you?"
Client: "What why? It isn't the feature I wanted!!11 Do it right and I'll pay you for the right one!"

Me: "It might not be what you wanted but it is exactly what you specified to me. I'll send you the bill and will not continue working for you. Good luck finding someone who is willing to do unpaid work for you."

I am so done with that kind of client.

I hate when people look at me weird when I talk sexy to my code. It's like how do you not find this sexy. Lol I'm in class like awww yeah pull that input and increment it you dirty software.

What should you do when you find dfox ++ your rant?

Wrong - To take screenshot and post about it and say you are feeling like a celebrity.

Correct - Stay calm. Chill.

:)

Just finished all the form function, time to clean up I guess.

Did you guys like to write it clean from start or do it later at the end?

"My cousin said he can do it for less. But I like you so blah blah"

Why don't you go your fucking cousin then. Stop wasting my time.

Friend: I don’t need git. Git is for people like you who cant do good backup of their code
Me: Yeah, yeah, go do whatever you like...

2h later comes to me:

Friend: Can you make me repo and show how to use it...?
Me: What..? You drunk?
Friend: Naaah, no... My disk broke while ago...

Karma is a bitch :D

Made my own desk ! Do you like it ?

Request: I don't like the way the page looks. Make it better.

Question: can you give me some more info? What is it that you dislike about the page? You approved the design, the mockup, the HTML version...and we just finished implementing the backend. Can you be more specific?

Response: make it more like this *gives link to completly new layout from a theme on themeforest*. Why does mine not look like this. Make it like this!

Reaction: *fuck this shit, never freelancing again...* Well, then do it yourself. I'm done!

// best feeling ever :)

Alrighty then, so you can do this and it'll still work...

Like, I suppose technically speaking it makes sense....

So I didn't really like my old setup, it wasn't comfortable enough, so I set this up today! What do you guys think?

Qa: do you think this looks like the provided designs?

Me: yes I do...?

Qa: well it doesn't, please check

Me: well I hate playing find the difference, how about you fucking tell me what exactly is wrong?

him: *explains feature*
Can you do that?
me: No.
him: Okay, you'll do that.

spoiler: I did it. This actually happened like 3 times with the same dude.

GF's brother, Connel (a seaman), knows I work in IT

Connel: you hack computers, right?
Me: not really. I'm more of a developer for businesses
Connel: can you hack banks like [insert name of local bank]? We can hack other people's passwords and make tons of money *laughs hysterically*
Me: (a bit awkward) probably. it depends
Connel: but you can really do it, right?
Me: uhm, maybe. It depends
Connel: but you can do it if you choose to, right?

*this went over for next 5 mins*

Lead dev: Hey boss, you really do like Python right?

Me: No

Lead dev: Well it's cuz I was think....wait what? WTF do you mean no, you have automated a fuckload of BS with Python and we are still using it, why tf would you use Python if you don't like it?

Me: I like it enough for the automation scripts that we have and for parsing documents or generating glue scripts, its already installed in every server that we have, so testing bs in dev and then using them in prod is cake, it doesn't mean I LOVE python, I like it for what we use it.

Lead dev: Well ain't already bash and perl installed as well?

Me: Do you know bash and or perl?

Lead dev: No, don't you?....

Me: No......

L Dev: (using a Jim Carrey impersonation) WELLL ALLRIGTHY THEN! What is the other language that you used for X project?

Me: Clojure, do you remember that one?

* he said paren paren paren paren yes paren i space paren do close paren close paren etc etc
L Dev: (((((((yes (i (do)))))))) and nevermind, I'll get back to working more with Python

Me: das what I fucking thought esse

— I heard you like programming and are quite good at it.
— Don't know about the latter but I do like it.
— Cool. Can you help me set up this Excel spreadsheet?
Actual conversation I had about two months ago...

Just curious, how is it like to work as a developer. I mean, as a profession and not a hobby or freelancing.

From devRant, so far I know that you work in an office, the managers and bosses are assholes, and people always write unmanageable and undocumented code.

What else is it like? Do you get to work alone or do you have to work with people? Do you stay there all day long?

I know its still going to be a while for me, but I want to know how it will be like.

To whom it may concern,

When I say I use Linux, please do not presume that I mean Ubuntu or other Debian derivates. If you send me instructions like 'apt-get update' you are not being helpful.

Thank you.

Hi Fellas !

I'm new here. I have no idea what makes you get so many ++ and what ++ can do for you.

I'm just feeling better here, it feels like im entering my soul's home!

Weekend is near, what project you gonna do ?

Have a great day !

If you haven't seen silicon valley... Do... For the love of God do.

And if you don't like it one... We will never get on, it's god damn hilarious ... Constantly

3rd time I've watched them all

It's perfect.

I like this one the most, it was a gift from a girl I had a unrequited crush with.

It was like: "hey I make stickers, you can have this one, but it's a little girly, do you mind?" and I was "(😍) of course I don't mind"

The fucking cunts didn't approve my PR because "it wasn't necessary to do it like this". My PR would have fixed some technical debt, but yes, fuck you too if it doesn't fit your shitty narrative.

Parents finally interested in what I do so they watch me do it

Mom: are you messing with me, what's with all the words? Where's the 1's and 0's, I thought you said it was just like the matrix

Me:...
...
...
I said only in the same way that there's computers

When you a Visual learner

Learning Beziér Curve📈📉. I like learning thing visually, it helps me figure something out easily.

Do you too?

(backstory -> I have 10 years of experience as a software engineer)

Me: So I would like to develop myself to become "officially" a senior engineer

Manager: sure, you basically need to show consistent behaviour

Me: ok, but what specifically? on what criteria do you determine when it is time for promotion?

Manager: there isn't anything like that defined yet, we would like to work on a definition of roles and responsibilities, but we're not there yet

Me: ok but how did you do it so far?

Manager; well as I said, you have to show consistent behaviour that characterises you as a senior.

Me: ....

Oh my God. New pet peeve:

People who answer questions on Amazon with an answer like "idk I just got this :(" or "idk man I bought it as a present."

Why the fuck do you feel the urge to answer a fucking question without actually answering it? Like are you that fucking stupid? Jesus Christ.

Processing is WHAT?!
So is it just me or is processing like the most fun thing to do with coding ? I mean, it's perfect for relax; it's fun like playing games but it still gives you something.

I've never been so keen to code like I am after weekend with processing. OMG!
And it's not just that you can do everything, understand how M$ Paint/Photoshop does things, understand how games work and how EVERYTHING around graphics works, it's also that there are SO MANY REAAAAALLY GOOD resources that you enjoy ""studying"". Things like pong, game of life, Gaussian blur (the one you use in Photoshop daily, yeah, do you understand how it works ?), Painting or edge detection OR ANY OTHER THING RELATING TO GRAPHICS.

It's simply amazing so if you don't know about it, give it at least 10 minutes(at that point, you'll be programming GTA 6/Photoshop 2 or something..), you won't regret it.

Anyaway, feel free to share your creations!

Coding without coffee is like driving without wheels: you can do it for a while, but you won't get far and you'll leave chaos in your wake.

😂😂😂
(I hope people dont find it offensive to post it here... Like if you do, let me know in the comments I'll delete the post in that case)

What do you mean you no longer want the feature? We have developed the feature, we have tested the feature, we have sign off for the feature. You are getting this feature, whether you like it or not!

I coded a little js plugin to create a calendar from a given year and month.

What do you guys think? Do you like it?

I'm thinking of extract it from the project and make it open sourced :)

Manager: I want you to make an architecture diagram for this system
Me, not sure what diagram but ok asking my senior then
Senior: You know those diagrams you learned in uni? Yeah, do whichever you think is suitable
Me, left to my own devices, makes a shitty use case and sequence diagram
Manager: We don't actually do diagrams like yours here. But I like it so lets stick with it.

😱 Ok. Cool.

When your parents expect you to be tech support and then fucking can't fix it, they get all like "You suck at programming". What does that have to do with fucking anything?!?!?!

F*ck all that out-of-date people who are like "You can not get a living out of IT" and the "You work on that application 6 months now, it should be already done." My parents do that shit aaaaall the time. Like they know so much about this when they can't even turn on wifi on their phones. You're enthusiastic and all and they come and start bullying you because they don't understand shit about what you do.

Ok, YOU fuck up THREE (!) times, and send me new text for the app, each time saying its '100% finished, no errors' and expect me (each iteration) to do it IMMEDIATELY

Why don't you go fuck yourself, do your damn job, do it right, and THEN contact me instead of running around like an childish preschooler with a pair of scissors

How long will it be before clients "get it" the web is a fluid medium it can't and shouldn't be fixed like ink on paper. Unless I do your website as a set of jpegs, you dickhead.

Is there devRant for google assistant ?
Would you guys like it ?
Disclaimer : I do not intend for people to get into a massacre over "google taking all our data"

They call it “Personalization”, “Analytics” and “Customer Success Research”. But back in time when I was using Alcohol 120 and StarFuck just to play games we called it “Spyware”.

Like it’s only spyware when you do it, but when we do it it’s “Research”.

I feel like my legacy has begun. I hear people using a notation description that I think that I invented.

When one does port mapping in commands it is like this: 5432:5432. Nobody remembers which port comes first unless they the command a lot. I confidently referred to it as "reverse cotton eyed joe notation" in a meeting.

"Where do you go? Where do you come from Cotton eyed joe?"

Upgrade to my setup, do you like it?

"Can you zoom in to this teeny tiny spot on this photo and sharpen it like how they do it in CSI?"
OR
"You can uncensor this, yeah?"

Yeah let me poop out the winning lottery numbers while I poop out nonexistent pixels for you.

It seems like everybody here was born as a legendary coder or started in their teens. I'm 24 now and just starting out.

How did you guys do it???

“Yes! WE should do it like that”

I put up a PR.

“Why are YOU doing it like that?”

As you start managing people, you understand why you read job listings requiring attributes like "Passionate about creating things" or anything like that.

When you see people not proactive and just lazy in a group, and you let them in, it's really disappointing. It makes you feel like you have to put everyone out, do it all again with new people, and pay attention to what gave them away the first time but you didn't know yet.

Next time I'm gonna look for people "passionate" about what they do and "interested in making great projects".

I found it funny that we're actually debugging our code on prod. (while the client is using the system)
Looks like I'm playing minesweeper. 😂

ps. will never do it again
pps. don't do it
ppps. you should not

Making a site that looks like Windows XP for one of my friends. What do you guys think of it so far?

Color of the year 2018.
Do you like it?
Personally, meh

Why do people like non typed languages like php or javascript? Besides from a giant pile of possible security problems what do you get out of it?

Do you ever feel like a mad scientist when you are just sitting there in front of your computer, it is 3am and your code finally compiles?

Ask yourself a couple of simple questions:
Do you like to code?
Do you like to learn new things and improve?
Do you like to solve problems and spend hours on a single detail until it finally works?

If your answers contain a "no", then development is probably not for you. You will hate it and you will suck at it. And you will make lifes of devs who actually love it miserable. So do something else.

Taxi Driver: Do you like this song Sir?
Me: Not sure, I don't know it!
Taxi Driver: Alexa, change the song...
Me:...

How do you guys program when you don't feel like it especially for school? I've fallen a bit behind in my classes and the programs are really easy to write but they're time consuming to do and sometimes (most of the time) I honestly just don't feel like doing them. How do you get yourself motivated?

What if I told you : you can use whatever the fuck OS you want, whatever the fuck stack you want ?

And IF you take a job in a certain stack, don't like it ? Quit your job !

Stop beeing whining bitches. Don't like current job ? Find a new one.

You think your app is revolutionary ? TRY and push it (And fail)

You think that at 16 you know better than people who are 30+yo ? prove it by actions.

It's easy. You have full control of what you can do.

Stop bitching, start coding.

windows, linux, mac, MS-DOS. Noone cares what you use. As long as you do the job.

Don't you feel sometimes like you may not be as good dev as you think you are? Like all you do is search for chunks of code in stackoverflow so you can assamble a semi functional project.

I'm having one of those days, and it just feels like shit.

have you ever felt having bad code ocd that you feel like you really need to clean this old project that you got assigned to fix, but cleaning the whole project up would take too much time and it is just not worth it . But you feel like you really need to do it...

I friend of mine was looking for an internship. I asked him what he wanted to do, he said frontend. I said do you know JavaScript. He said that's a long name I like to just call it Java.

What's worst than doing something you don't like?

Having to do it again.

So save.

I had written a script to take a photo every time the laptop lid is open an year ago. It's like about 3000 images now and it's really pretty to do like a timelapse. Do it and you won't will never regret.

Arguing with my girlfriend (recalled from my mind, not 100% accurate)

she: What do you expect when you buy an android?
Me: sure thing apple is more "unpack it, use it", easy to use - but android is more like an empty canvas. The first thing when I buy it is setting it up to my needs.
she: You don't understand, what do you expect from your android device?
me: It has to be affordable and work for a certain time
she: No I mean, do you.. when you unpack your phone, expect it TO WORK?
me: Sure, it's not like I buy a pile of trash, I expect it to work
she: you're too stupid, baka
me: ... ? *confused*
she: When you say it is like a canvas, isn't a canvas someday full?
me: yes, every phone, iPhone, Pixel, Samsung, every phone has a limited memory
she: *mad* you don't get it, silly
me: I want to but heh, I don't get it

When a senior employee farted like hell and can't do anything about it, but to deal with it because you just started as a junior. 😷

What profession would you say is most like software development? I'd love to be able to give people an idea of what I do, without making it sound like witchcraft...

I'm a terrible husband

My wife was telling me about her dad and a financial problem he's having.

Meanwhile my mind was telling me:
"Remember that posh party you were in a few weeks ago where you knew nobody? And everyone were either established businessmen or had uni degrees?
So everyone's is like making a first impression of you?"

"Well, what if in the middle of a group chat you yelled something like "COCK" out of the blue, but with a very deep english accent, like a very screeching sharp sound at the end like "COCCCKKKK"

"I don't mean like a hypothetical observation, I mean what if you actually do that to observe their reactions"

"How would people react?
What would they do?
What would their facial expressions be like?
How much time would go by until someone resumed conversation? Who would be the one to do that?"

"What if you actually recorded it and put it on youtube"

Maybe it's my fault that we don't fuck

Guy at school
"I could do that... OR I could do it... in C#HNNNNNNNNGH"
Yeah, we get it. You like C#. Hooray for you. Please stop cumming every time it's mentioned.

Boss be like..

Boss: Hey can make this for me?

Dev: Sure, when do you need it?

Boss: Yesterday

*facepalm*

Developing pornographic / adult themed apps- would you be willing to do it? If not why, if so why? How does one become a developer for a platform like pornhub?

I don't like web design, but i'm also annoyed the people I want to have do my tattoos don't have anything on their site (just says under construction)...

Would you design a website for free tattoos (if you like tattoos), or is it still more trouble than it's worth?

So I've been working on this user friendly yet advanced youtube-dl GUI.
This is my current stage on the UI side. The program automatically downloads the latest releases of youtube-dl and ffmpeg.
What do you guys think? Do you like it? I'm open to suggestions.

Why the fuck do some companies make it seem like you need them more than they need you? Also, what the fuck is with organizations who antagonize you when you make a small mistake? Do all of the good things we've done get thrown under the bus because of one mistake???? Fucking corporations!!!!!!!

If you're recording a tutorial then please switch to dark theme. Just because you like getting your eyes burned it doesn't mean the rest of us also do

Client - I want something kinda like uber, can you do it?
Me - Sure, give me 1.5 million dollars and we're set!

I have such little patience for the whole fucking “let’s just do it later” mentality anymore. Especially when it takes like 30 minutes or less to fix. Then a month goes by and everyone suffers from it not being fixed. Like I understand why they do so and why it’s important to just do the task. I understand there’s often no time to make huge improvements, but if you have time and you see a small thing that can be fixed, make improvements you silly little bump-on-a-log. Like have a little empathy for your comrades goddamnit.

So... do you actually talk to a dev duck like you would to a normal person, or do you just imagine talking to it?

I don't like others to know that i'm a programmer. Do you agree or why shall they know? It just changes their opinion on you.

We need more positivity:

Reason why you like coding? / Reason why you chose it as your career? / Why wouldn't you want to do something different?

Best feeling when coding

Nicest colleague/Best teamwork experience/Best boss/easiest client

What do you like about your position/job/company

Besides coding, what makes you happy

Your favorite stack/language/working environment

It's one of the rare fields where you get to be both creative and functional. Whatever you want to happen on the screen you can make it happen. You can really put yourself into whatever you are making. Maybe you can't do that and make a ton of money at work. Maybe you can't do that and release a product everyone will love. But you can do it. You can put power in people's hands. You can embed parts of yourself, your philosophy, your thoughts, your wishes, etc. into software and spread it all over the world very quickly. I like that about it

Does anyone else feel like HackerRank questions are trick questions?
Without a textfield to explain the answer It highly depends on how deeply you think about it..

Can you do x with technology y?
Yes.
Can you do x with technology y alone?
Well yeah but no, you still need something to process it. What does "alone" mean? Without electricity you sure can't do anything.
Extreme example but you get my point..

I was trying to make sometimng like cheatengine in console and that happened. Its really cool to see it when your friend is told you thats not the thing you should do

I don't get why people like so much to mix personal life with professional... Always planning parties and "Forcing" everybody to join in... Sometimes it seems you can only be a good professional if you like to drink all weekend and complain about what you've been paid to do...

How do you guys prevent yourself from overworking? With deadline pressures I feel like it is very easy to work more than your regular 8 hours

If you use CamelCase, please don't write acronyms in all caps like MakeDNA, it breaks the harmony and confuses punctuation. Instead do MakeDna.

What OS do you guys use? What do you like/hate about it?

Is it just me or do you guys also have that itchy annoying feeling of wanting to copy certain text on devRant mobile app? 😕

It's like you have that medium level itchiness between your butt just outside your butthole. But you can't do anything because you are in the middle of an interview. That kinda feeling. 😵

Is it just me or do other people think those tutorials you run across on YouTube where it is just a screen recording and background music are super annoying. I would like at least a little explanation other than you typing in notepad.

Does anyone here have experience with AWS CodeCommit?

Do you like it compared to other popular tools like github/gitlab/bitbucket/tfs?

I just started playing with it today and think it's pretty neat, wanted to reach out to the community here and see if you guys/gals know of any gotcha's that you may have encountered?

Do you own a smart tv? Do you like it?

What stack do you guys use at work and do you like it?

Started a new job recently and feel like I don't know anything compared to everyone else, only got a years commercial experience but feel like I should know more! Anybody else ever feel like this when they were starting out? How do you overcome it?

Working at a big-ish tech is like a completely different world.

Do we even speak the same words?

Why can't you say agree like a normal person. Who the frig made "++" a real life word (is it a verb/noun? wtf is it)

and then all those other acronyms like OKR, P1,p2,p3

Who talks like that?

I’m currently working on the profile view in JoyRant, which turns out to be much more work than I thought.

Anyway, after many iterations on the appearance, I’m now finally satisfied about how it looks and works. Especially the category picker (Rants, ++’s, Comments, Favorites).

What do you think? Do you like it?

What do you guys think about Visual Studio Code?
I personally like it, just wondering your opinions.

Since I bought my laptop the screen was scaled to 125% (1080p display) so that it looks like a ~768p display.
I like it, it looks good, but now I'm trying it at 100% scaling (15" screen).
Yes, everything looks so small now, and my eyes cried for the first 10 minutes, but I'm starting to like it.

Do you have any similar experience? What do you prefer, 100%, 125% or something else? Why?

Fam-"Woah that's pretty awesome! It sounds hard, do you like it?"
Me-"Yeah I think it's a lot of fun!"
Fam-"Good for you :) anyway, our printer stopped working-"
Me-"... I'veGotHomeworkSorryLoveYouByeeeeee"

Why do tech impaired people always break their tech and they have "no idea" how it broke...
Seriously? What did you do? You know what you were doing? Were you touching random setting again? For fuck sakes just tell me. You've fucking it up 3 times this week already it's not like I don't know your an incompetent prick.

Rant!
Others: hey, can you do this?... //details scrapped
Me: (after thinking a while) yes.
Others: Perfect! Can it be done like 2 days ago?
My mental image: throws my laptop to he/her face while shouting if it's so easy you should fucking do it!

What is it about robot collected data that makes researchers so anal? Like, dude, it's not even personal data. It's literally robot's joint motor recordings. It's not nuclear data, so why the fuck do you protect it like your life and your country depend on it?

I hope you get fisted by that data every night and how it will end up in oblivion sooner because you didn't publish it. You asshole.

Them: You have 6 days to build this frontend page for our wordpress site.
Me: Ok...
*proceeds to spend 4 days trying to arse my way towards a semi reasonable bootstrapped website based on the existing website's styling.*
Me: *Presents website*, so... uh... yeah, I don't usually do frontend stuff, I'm more of a backend dev, but here's what I could do.
Them: This looks like absolute horseshit.
Me: So what do you not like about it?
Them: All of it. It doesn't look anything like the wireframe that I gave you.
Me: Ok... So let me get this straight, you want it to look exactly like how you designed it in your wireframe? *wireframe looks like a child drew it*
Them: Yes! Is that so hard?
Me: I mean, it's a little hard. I'm not exactly a front end developer. Aside from that, I think this design is not very user-friendly.
Them: we don't care about your opinions, OP. Get back in there and make it look exactly like the wireframe.
Me: Ok.
*proceeds to go to fiverr, and contract someone else to do it for me while I get to do fun stuff in the back end.* 😂

----

We'll see what they think of the project when it gets back to me. Wish me luck guys.

Looks like I got dislike-banned as well... eventhough I only used it where appropriate.
I understand that our almighty gods dfox and trogus implemented this to fight bots and mischievous downvote cunts, but why not inform the user affected by it?
I fucking hate these silent bans, just like Twatter and YouTwat do it... you feel like you posted something but in reality it disappears and you're not even aware of it.

Man, nowadays a lot of people behave like bots thus I can't blame The Algorithm™...

GOD I FUCKING HATE UNITY AND FUCKING C# SO MUCH
EVERY TIME I TRY TO MAKE IT DO WHAT I FUCKING WANT IT TO IT'S LIKE "mmmmmm nah lmao" LIKE FUCK WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FOLLOW FUCKING 3 LINES OF CODE NO MATTER HOW I PUT THEM OR ORDER THEM YOU BRAINDEAD FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT PROGRAM

Why do we never talk about angular? It was way ahead all the time. Like you got all these nice things with Vue 3 and React 42, but bro angular got it all for years..

It feels so nice learning it.

How the fuck do you do a performance review?

For me, we need to do self assessments.

Part of it is what I do well, part of it is what i need to improve.

No idea what to put, since I feel like I'm awful at everything lol.

Client: I need you to integrate with this API.

Me: ok cool, but what are we doing with it (where does the data go/styling)?

Client: what do think we should do?

Me: well it would be really cool if we did it like this *short and sweet explanation of really cool functionality and design*

Client: I LOVE IT! Let's do it, oh also I need it done by tomorrow...

Me: *GOD DAMNIT, why do you always do this...don't you dare say ok* ok, yeah I can totally do that.

...now at the market stocking up on redbull

Do you ever feel like your mind has entered this "hyper" mode where you feel like your mind is in overdrive? Like you're processing several thoughts in your head at once, and that leaves you in a state where you can't get anything done?

It happens to me like once a week and boy is it satisfying when it goes away and I can feel my head cool down.

Don't know if already asked but, what brought you to programming /your work area. Do you like it? Was what you expected?

Happy Christmas to you, your Family and Friends!

Take rest, eat well, go to places you like, meet people who you like and who like you, travel to nearby places, learn a coding thing or two, listen to music or watch your favourite movie/TV show. Just do what you want to do. Have fun and make it memorable! :-)

Refactoring is like dating. You have to remember stuff, maybe you're insecure and you may have to overcome yourself to actually do it.

But when it works out, it's great.

Are desktop PCs becoming a legacy, a history, just like floppy disks or CDs? Do you have one? Do you really need it?

I do have a decent tower pc in my balcony since last year. Haven't used it since early August and I honestly don't know what would I use it for once I bring it back in

Using git without a GUI is like biking blind-folded. Sure you can do it but it's way easier if you see what's going on.

To the Linux users, what's your system like? And how do you use it?

You know these things that are obviously coming but you do not want to do them at any cost so you just keep on pushing them away?

Well it looks like I'm going to be homeless in January...

Do you have this culture at the office where your employer (management) try to shame you if you leave at the normal hour? How do you deal with it?

If you work in France I would like to know what's your work schedule, because I'm in a startup and everyone stay there until 18pm.

This is how you do it, holy shit. I should not have to opt out of shit like this but rather opt in. Fucking thank you cordova

senior "don't do it like this, there are alternatives"

doesn't mention the alternatives

thanks? i can look into implementing it how you want if you'd elaborate the alternatives....

anytime someone has a request and tells you how long it should take... run far far away!

"can you do this? should only take like an hour"

Do you ever just sit unable to start, hating yourself for it?

Ugh, I feel like I've been running on autopilot lately. I just can't get myself going. Down time doesn't feel like down time either

@dfox - I really like the swag store and all, but do you think you could come out with some unique/not-available-on-the-swag-store items for the big milestones?

It just adds to the allure imo!

Thanks for all that you both do!

!rant

What direction would you guys like to see devRant going in. I personally like it as it is, a place where developers can rant, share jokes (but not memes), share their thoughts, etc etc. But I know some people want it to go in more of a SO direction, where it's just another serious questions board. What do you guys think?

“I’ve tried everything, it won’t work. I HAVE to do it this __insert-stupid-dev-fuckery-here__ way”

Hmmmm 🤔 ok have you tried getting down on your hands and knees and walking around like a little piggy begging daddy to rough you up and put you in a pen?!? Because that’s what your gonna need to do for me to forgive you. Please please please just try to THINK about it before you do ANYTHING

hmmmmmm let me see.

Web based? lets do web based.

Do something simple like a basic crud app on web api format:
Do it with full authorization and authentication.
Start hard. Do it with pure golang using NOTHING but the std libraries.
Now, do it in a magic mvc framework like Rails or Laravel
Now do it on dotnet core
Now do it in django rest.

Watch the differences in all of them, sell your soul to something and now do it in Clojure. If you do it on a Scheme dialect or on Common Lisp my CMS admin will suck your whatever you have. Dude seems to be pretty good at it, we are trying to keep him from pulling tricks on the street but he insists.

Then add a React client with Typescript to get them basic ass endpoints to display nicely.

It should give you a fuckload of perspective amongst the different tools and way we do things and might make you appreciate the differences in paradigms required(pro points for doing modular in c# dotnetcore using different classlibs for the major points of the application using some crazy pattern like the mediator pattern)

I would hire a mfker that throws all this shit at me on a portfolio on the spot.

What do you think about swift ?..
It look like shit

Do you think dropping off in person your resume to companies have slight edge or not? If you did drop off your resume how did you do it?

Specially in big companies like amazon or other big companies?

When udacity makes you do 2 full sections on XML for Android and then tells you to download Android Studio and it's like "here let me write that for you but without fucking it up"

take it easy
even you do not like w3schools as first result when searching for some related content? *** I just searched bootstrap tooltip *** bootstrap tooltip you heard it //

Just installed KISS launcher on my Android and, omg it changes so much I like it!! It forces you to do and launch the app you need without being surrounded by tons of icons on the screen, awesome 😊

Unrelated to programming:

If I'm doing async karaoke (i.e., I'm using an app like Smule where one person records one part and you join or vice versa) and the other person decides to randomly COME INTO MY LANE and not just sing my part, but sing it off-key, I get irrationally annoyed about it. It's great if they do that at the beginning of the song because then you can just bail. But when they do it at like the very end, I'm like ... 😬

Alright everyone. Who uses elixir and how do you like it? Thinking of writing a fairly large application using elixir and Phoenix

welcome to devRantRant, where we rant about the types of rants we don't like rather than just ranting about our own lives and experiences

who cares if you dont like a rant? do you REALLY think anyone's gonna care if you rant about not liking it?

non english speakers, tell me: how do you feel about the coding standard being english?

i know it is a given at this point, but i do wonder what it'd be like if it wasn't the case

I have a new search engine, do you like it? :)

Actual question: Tell me which project management software you use and what you hate about it. What do you like about it, if anything?

I used to work in IT support during my training, this is the most accurate description of the job:
If everything just works people will be like "what do we pay you guys for?" And if something doesn't work: "what do we pay you guys for?" ...*sigh*

Indie game devs: I have a couple of questions for you guys, sorry for my naivity and the subjectivity of some of the questions.

Is it as fun as it sounds?
Do you work as a team?
What tech/language do you use?
What platform/os do you produce games for?
Is your primary income from making games?

Im asking because I would like to get into it, but want to get a realistic view of what it's like.

Thanks guys. Please also take this chance to post your work.

When you write LaTeX, do you code? Typeset? Program? Type random stuff so that in the end the PDF looks good enough to publish it?

I really feel like it's coding but it also is typesetting. Hmm, the questions of life!

What you sexy bright smart mastermind memelords do day to day in your job? What projects you working on and what is you part in it? I am really curious what your typing looks like after you go home.

Do you ever set up a project too small to justify using any real framework and you end up creating .gitignore by hand and typing 'node_modules' in it like a caveman?

When the designers work, look so much like shit. That even you as a developer can do it better.

So when it comes to password encryption in php, I've learned to use password_hash($password, PASSWORD_BCRYPT); // Blowfish

Anybody else use this? What do you php lovers like to use?

You know that stage you reach when you no longer feel like you can't format text without Googling how to do it, and you confidently build well-designed apps with elegant code?

That stage does arrive, eventually? Right?

@netikras I had an idea for @chatgpt. Went something like this. What do you think, should I PR it into the bot? (in bash ofc)

People in this discussion will refer to my classmates doing their project we were allowed to choose like 3 months ago and back then I already told them they won't ever manage to make it work in time.

People: "yo could you help real fast"
Me: "aaah not again but okay why not"
People: "here's the code"
Me: "the fuck is this? What is it supposed to do?"
People: "ummm it should doooo eeeerrr... Like this and .... Yeah we don't know. The output should look like that but it doesn't"
Me: "the fuck did you even try to do. That'll never work. And I told you the same thing like 3 months ago when you just chose the project. Just go and use some random math lib you find"
People: "kkkk"

Their code seriously made no sense at all. Parsing substring within like 5 nested loops and like 20vars called "s1" and "theString" and what not.

First time I have heard of codementor.io

Sounds interesting kinda like desperate times needs desperate measures. Just gotta need to pay some $ for it. What do you think?

It's fucking hard to find software names... I hate it. I feel like ever fucking name you can think of is already taken.
How do you guys find names for your software?

"I don't know about changing that part of the platform"
-"Do you see any other way?"

"No, but this one is pretty complex"
-"Would you like me not to do it?"

"No, but like, really test it, OK? It's a very complex part of the platform"
-"Would you like me to include the phrase 'this was really fucking complex' in the release documentation?"

Sometimes I think my boss is against coding :/

Hey guys, what do you like to have when you're pulling an all nighter with programming? coffee, wine, tea? my favourite has always been wine. Love it <3

"Do you know WordPress?"
"I've used it... Haven't done much WordPress development"
"Sweet. How'd you like a job?"
This seems too easy...

TeamLeader : "Come two seconds"

TL : "I'd like you to check that out when you do that"

Me: "But it's your job to do this"

TL: "Yeah, but I'd like you to just check in case I forgot"

THEN DO YOUR FKING TASK PROPERLY WHATS THE POINT IF YOU FORGOT AND I DO IT

Edit my english sucks

Hi everyone... Great to be back but not feeling so great. I keep feeling... "tired", "bored", like everything I do has no fucking meaning. Like I lost all of that fun I had when I was making my own projects. I get home at 6PM from work and it feels like time passes by so fast. I can't even muster up the enthusiasm to start my own personal projects.

What do you do when you feel like this? How can I get back my enthusiasm?

CodingRoom room = new CodingRoom();

room.lights = true;

// or

room.lights = false;

// how do you like it?

do you guys have problem with not receiving the proper tools for work where you live? here in brazil it seems like a given that companies won't provide good software and hardware for workers

Be interested. Try to do whatever you're doing the best way possible. Do research, keep up, roll with the punches, and don't take things personally. If you like being a dev, it should be easy to find the fun in it.

Hello. I am new to devRant. Like it so far, but how do you get one of those profile pics everyone has of a cartoon person?

You have 1.44 MB of outgoing traffic. You can use it however you like. You can send data anywhere you wish.

Your task is to make as much money as you can. What would you do?

Using some tools - do you learn all their default keybindings (hotkeys), or do you customize them? [do you re-customize them with every new installation/workstation?]

Like vim, ide, SQL client, etc.

[thinking about IntelliJ's CTRL+F4.. It feels off]

I for one prefer defaults.

What it feels like when you tell a newbie coder about reflection and all the stuff you can do with it.

!rant

Do you think it is worth learning functional programming and specifically haskell. It seems like a really good concept, but a lot of people claim that it's not applicable in real scenarios.

Those of you with an app or productivity web service, do you charge monthly? If so, why? I understand if it is your primary source of income, but do you have ethical or integrity reasons related to price? I've been contemplating this lately and I'd like more Dev input.

Do you ever have a problem that you just don't know how to resolve, you are way out of your depth and it seems like there really is no solution. There is nobody you can ask for help. You want to just give up. Then finally you have an answer. You fix the issue and it feels like you are superman and you can do anything. I remember that feeling before but this time I think maybe I should start looking for another job.

When learning something new, say a new language or framework, do you go through the docs or tutorials, or do you just learn by doing and figure it out as you go?

I like to learn by doing and getting a finished project and start modding and changing stuff. what do you guys do?

So... school is about to begin again...
Honestly I'm both excited and intimidated about it. It's my last year in high school, and I still haven't decided what to do after it. I guess I'll go to an university, and possibly continue with my conservatory... I want to do both things, hoping that the weight won't crush me.
If you're like me, still a student, what do you think you would like to do after high school?

Sitting inside on a 3 degree day, wondering why I haven’t moved yet. Anyone in Seattle? How do you like it?

How do you do bootstrapping of blanko machines?
Imagine you get a linux/BSD/osx machine and you want it set it up to a defined state to be prepared for further setup.
Like users
ssh config
Sudoers file
Config management client or credentials
Software like vim, htop and tmux

A simple shell script sounds a bit archaic to me and i was wondering, if there is a better way...

Makefiles also came to my mind but still... Unsatisfactual

Some one just asked me to build his site. I don't enjoy building sites. Especialy wordpress... I have never used it but i don't like it. But It could be a fast cash. What do you guys think?

That time when you've been working in Linux for so long that when it comes time that you have to do mandatory work in Windows it feels like a drag U_U

Do you really like Google's material design? I find it really ugly...

Found this unusual keyboard layout on the internet. Looks like a better version of a standard 80% layout.

What do you think about it?

Question for devs who work in large multi-team environments:

A) What is your code review process like? Does a senior review it once and then it's off to QA or do you have "levels" of approval?

B) If you're launching a feature that depends on another team how are you coordinating it? Do you just talk over a ticket and then hit merge and deploy at the same time or like what's your process like?

C) What CI/CD tool do you use? Also what code hosting platform do you use? Github/GItlab/etc.

D) Are you currently happy with the CI tool you're using? If not what are some common issues you're facing?

It feels like I cannot take it anymore, waking up to goto work at 9 feels unbearable for a hacker. My mind doesn't work and it's routine as fuck. How do you guys do it?

Do you know the feeling when you create a project, work on it for a few months, realize that it could be done better so you rethink and rewrite it, then after half a year you think that it's not good enough once again so you recreate it from scratch once more, then you get bored and leave the project for like 2 years and when you want to come back you see how bad the code is so you do one more rewrite? Well I do.
"Coming soon" since 2013! Starts to look good tho.

Would you use react to create something like a static corporate website?

If not, with which framework/ technology would you do it?

I'm binge watching Person of Interest right now and I would like to know the community feels about it.

I feel that it is still futuristic and we aren't there yet. What do you think?

Have you ever been there when you write some code with everything you know and it still throws an error in the end when everything is said and done, you go ahead and do a last stupid thing that you know is not going to work but, WOAH... It worked. Then you didn't even bothered to know why, instead you were like, fuck it, if it works, IT WORKS!!!

Do you know the frustration you feel after you worked on your game engine all day and ended up with it not working properly anymore? It's so diffuse.. you didn't really do anything physically, but you still feel like you failed and broke something that you will now have to fix.

How many of you guys actually do the eight finger touch typing? Is it common among younger devs? And for those who don't, how fast do you consider yourself while coding (like actual mechanical typing of code)?

What do you call your laptop computer?

1)Lappy
2)Laptop
3)Computer
4)PC/Mac
or it has a name, something like
"Portable Development Center, Delta One"

What did google do to their camera app??
Any of you like it?

When it comes to working on side projects, how do you usually pace yourself? I always find it hard to do side projects. Do you just spend like an hour every afternoon? I feel I rarely do side work mostly because I'm afraid I'm going to sink like 5 hours in 1 setting. To people who do significant side work, how do you balance that with your day job?

When you guys are learning something/learning to make something, are you usually looking it up, watching a video, or reading a book? Or are you trying it on your own without knowledge on how?

I tend to either learn to do something from tutorials or books. But if I feel like I have an idea I’ll try it but then hit the books or internet if not.

How do you guys tackle learning something you haven’t before?