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!n case someone is unfamiliar with this joke ::
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, *"But how'd you know?"**
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."6 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."10 -
A convo with my !dev colleague.
Her: Can i use your PC for a while?
Me: Yeah sure.
Her: Why is this so wierd? Why i can't refresh?
Me: It's Ubuntu.
Her: Man, this sucks, you should use windows 10, it's the latest!
End of Convo.
After that day, i heard her talking to my other colleague.
Her: "Go ask him. The one with the weird PC."
--------------------
SHOULD I KILL HER?22 -
This pro developer in my work just made me look like a fucking useless potato today. Although he was really nice and made me understand what the problem was.
Damn man, he knows too much 😓14 -
//Long rant
[Boss man]: Hey, we need you to build us a web app.
[Me]: Okay, what do you need it to do?
[Boss man]: We need staff to be able to login from anywhere, create new appointments, check room availability, display live times for the rooms, schedule future appointments, record all the data as stats and export the stats to (email address).
[Me]: Okay, sounds useful, anything else?
[Boss man]: we also need it to send all relevant data to a calendar where certain staff will be notified by email of events.
[Me]: Okay... I'll get right on starting this.
[Boss man]: So you can have it done by the end of the day? (4 hours from this time)
[Me]: *Internal screaming* *WHAT THE FUCK* Uhm, no, I don't think that is possible to complete in a four hour period by myself.
[Boss man]: Okay, well by tomorrow then, I'm leaving for the day though, have a good one.
[Me]....
//End long rant12 -
Douche: So your a programmer ?
Me: Yes
Douche: Excellent, I have an idea.....
Me: No
Douche: cmon bro, week be rich, this screensaver so will make us tons of money
Me: I have a question.
Douche: corz man waddup
Me: do you use a screensaver?
Douche: no, why?
Me: *walks away angrily10 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."1 -
This project manager, man....
> Sends email to a client "Dear Ms X, here's your password for the Jira board: [...] Please handle it with care and keep it secret."
> Email goes out to 5 people.
6 -
Regular day at Adobe:
Intern: Sir, I have created this amazing functionality that will make user's life easy. Shall I push it for review?
Manager: Did you say it will make their life easy?
Intern: Yes Sir!
Manager: Can we fire this intern already?
Adobe, seriously man make up your goddamn mind. Why the fuck are you taking away useful features and making them hidden under hundreds of icons you have. This is so fraustrating 😡7 -
This actually happend in my secondary school class. A new guy came to our class. The whole family moved from another city.
*new guy want to start conversation with me*
new guy: "So you into computers and stuff like that?"
me: "Yes" *seems like a cool guy , want to develop the conversation further* "what about you man? do you like computers? do yo program or smth?"
*new guy wants to look cool in front of me*
new guy: " Yeah dude, actually I am hacker"
*me saying to myself, oh fuck not again this shit*
he continues with: " Once I got into the NASA system"
*switches mode to making fun of him*
me: "what the fuck man? really? that´s freaking cool, how you manage to do that? "
new guy: " you know the thing when you press F10 when starting a comupter? "
me: "You mean BIOS?"
new guy : "yeah yeah man through that shit"
* I am done, laughing my ass off and walks away*1 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, *"But how'd you know?"**
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."5 -
This actually happened today
Colleague: Hey man I think there's a problem with my computer.
Me: Alright, I'll check it out.
(I go to his desk and find that his screen was turned off)
Colleague: It just suddenly turned off.
Me: (presses a random key on his keyboard)
(Screen lights up)5 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology,"says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.2 -
We could say I'm kind of a sticker man. (I got more unused in a bag, that's an addiction)
And yes, devrant stickers are on it, they are among the first I put on this door 😊
25 -
I found that pornhub has a feedback section...
This man (wanting white theme) was totally rekt.
See another one in the comments
16 -
I really wish I had known this before. Check this out guys. You can type a unix command and find out what each options mean. Rather than man paging the commands this is a easier way to do it :)
5 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. ♨💨🎈
He reduces height and spots a man down below.
He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions,
"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says:
"Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"
"Well", says the man “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."7 -
Co-worker: Hey man, what's up with your code?
Me: What do you mean bro?
Co-worker: It's generic man...
Me: Isn't it supposed to be like that?
Co-worker: Yeah...
Me: ... so what's this about?
Co-worker: hmmm... Mine is kinda specific, do you mind changing it so that it can work well with mine??
Me: That's why I made it generic though
Co-worker: yeah I see that and I dnt want mine to be and we have a deadline tomorrow. I already pushed mine to develop so, happy fun-time while modifying your code to accommodate mine...
Me: *fuuxuuuuuuuuuuuux*6 -
*watching funny clip*
*boss comes at you*
Boss: hey man, we need to...
You: just look at this thing, it's hilarious!
*watching clip together*8 -
That moment when you finished your first REST API 🎉
And you realise all it can do is useless ☹️
But then you realise, you can extend the functions easily with you new knowledge 🎊
Man, this emotional up an down is exhausting 😆4 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology,"says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."2 -
Boss: I need this page to behave in a completely new way.
Me: that's all fine and dandy but it requires a rewrite.
Boss: nah just look man, it's really simple all I want is blah, blah blah...
I'm too tired for this shit5 -
Dude! I have this amazing idea for a website! It's like a social network but for videos!
- uh like youtube?
No! Totally different because in this social network you could share the videos with your friends.
- so... like youtube
No man! Cause you could also rate and comment the videos!
- like youtube?
No! You're just not getting it man!
-...13 -
Wish me luck guys I think this is it. I'm going to be financially set for real this time woohoo! Big thanks to my man billy
6 -
Yikes, this headline appeared in my feed:
Chinese man sentenced to 5 years in jail for running VPN.
😲8 -
Woman: IF you could make all the people in this forum brawl, I would go with you tonight.
Man: (Type) PHP is the best language all over the world!
The whole forum goes into brawl...
Women: You got me. I shall go with you. Do whatever you want. Let's go.
Man: Hold! Not today! I must convince them all!
7 -
At a busy restaurant.
Person 1: oh my God this man here is having a heart attack. Is there a doctor here?
Person 2: here's ten reasons why Kotlin is better than Java for Android development5 -
Late night programming with pops.
This man has taught me most of what I know and I have a terrific amount of respect and debt for him, and his work.
Here's to a lot more years cranking that genius brain of his! 🥂
12 -
The man who runs my IT department. The man who is in charge of all things and people that are technical: IT management software development, infrastructure, training, help desk, system administration, etc. A man with a staff of fifty plus. If you were to peel back the flesh on this man's head and crack open his skull you would find dung beetles feasting on the feces that power his thoughts and motor functions. Underneath this foul membrane, if you could push past the maggots; the meal worms; his undying love for hourly binges of Johnny Walker Black on any day of the week with a name that contains a vowel; his fascination with shiny objects and his endless internal monologue wondering when they would hatch rainbow ponies that fly; his desire whenever he enters a paint store to open all the cans of paint and taste the different colors; if you could push past all of the vile crap that exists where Thomas Aquinas once theorized there was a soul, you would find a colony of paramecia at the end of their short lives laughing hysterically at how much smarter they were than the host they lived in.
This man was in charge of hiring the Manager of Software Development. The manager I report to. After seven months of ignoring this chore; after interviewing the sum total of four candidates; after making a point to tell myself and a colleague that there was no one qualified to fill this position within our company (an opinion that is both untrue and, when spoken, runs afoul of internal hiring policies) this man hired a soulless cretin with no experience in software development or with running a software development group. A man who regularly confuses web servers and SQL servers. A man who asked me how my previous manager reviewed my work, was told by me that said previous manager read my code, and then replied in his capacity as the manager of software development that "looking at code is a compete waste of time for a manager." A man so without any humanity or reason for being that he will sit silently, creepily, in conference rooms with the lights off waiting for meetings to begin. Meetings he has scheduled. That have no reason for being in the first place. Just like himself.
Shortly before the man in charge offered the Dev Manager job to the simulacrum of human flesh that is my manager, he met with me and others who had been involved in the interview process. When I informed him that hiring someone with no technical knowledge for a very technical position would be a mistake that he would suffer through for years, he replied in reference to his future hire that "his managerial experience makes up for his lack of technical knowledge."
Best. Prank. Ever. Worst prank ever too. Fuck.6 -
Because Moment.js is too mainstream,
Oh man I really need to punch person who wrote this shitty file,
1k LOC , whole thing is a mess, this is just a gist of this crap
18 -
Bored waiting for code to compile so here is a joke someone sent me last week .....
A man walks in a bar with his pet monkey. He sits down and orders a drink, meanwhile the monkey is running around all over the place and jumps up on a pool table. He grabs the 8 ball, shoves it into his mouth and swallows it hole.
"Holy crap!" says the bartender, completely livid. He says to the man, "Did you see what your stupid monkey just did?"
"Nope. What did he do this time?" says the man.
"He just swallowed one of the balls off the pool table, whole!" says the bartender.
"Yeah, well I hope it kills him 'cause he's been driving me nuts" says the man.
After finishing his drink, the man leaves.
A few weeks later the man returns to the bar with his monkey. After ordering a drink, the monkey starts running wild around the bar again. Up on the bar, he monkey finds some peanuts. He grabs one out of the bowl, sticks it up his butt, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your stupid monkey did this time?" he asks.
"What now?" responds the man.
"He stuck a peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the bartender.
"Well, what do you expect?" replied the man. "Ever since he ate that pool ball he measures everything first!"4 -
Me: Open terminal on current folder
Mac: No.
Me: Copy path of current folder
Mac: No.
Me: Delete this desktop icon (Delete key)
Mac: No.
Me: Lets move this icon to trash
Mac: Alrighty then, delete application.
Man i will have a hard time getting used to this, Windows had its cons but these small things made my life easier.20 -
@dfox man, do you realize the amount of desks that have cleaned *for the first time* because of this week topic? 😅
I'm puzzled, what kind of lobby put you up to this?9 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."1 -
Hey man can you fix my tv, computer, toaster, phone, or hack this phone i found, can you hack me a wifi, can you make me a website/app i have a really good idea. (For free of course)
Hey man you only need a good idea for an app then become rich.
(Insert countless of other retarded requests here)
Someone kill me6 -
This guy is supposed to be a "spring framework guru"
Yo Mr. Guru, this is not how you write a pom file especially when you are teaching someone who probably is new to programming. Just think if the new guy/girl goes on to write such xml files in the future. What are you even trying to do man.
5 -
«But... why man??? Let's call it "person-in-the-middle", so that it is fairer!»
All this fucking politically correctness is killing us.14 -
It's funny. I've been doing this work for about 6 weeks now my 'I don't give a fuck' level on some issues/subjects is rising.
By the way, this is only with things that aren't wrong on our side.
Man, the stress relieve!3 -
>>signs up for GitHub student pack
>>Approved almost instantly
>>Looks at what's included
>>See a .me domain from namecheap is free
>>"yo that's lit. Lemme see if they have one I want"
>>Finds domain
>>"Good shit man. I'll finally have a reason to make my own website"
>>Go to checkout
>>Asks for school email address
>>Enters address
>>"it seems your University is not included in this."
>>Fuck me man10 -
I was added on LinkedIn by a person who is:
Strategic Thinker & Solution Architect & Innovation Thinker & Data Scientist & CORE Banking & Digital Transformation & AGM & CIO
HOW FUCKING LUCKY I AM TO BE ADDED BY THIS TYPE OF PEOPLE -.-7 -
Friend: "what is the answer to this question?"
Me: "${answer}"
Friend: "yes, what is the answer?"
Me: "my bad"
Me: `${answer} is the answer`
Friend: "thanks man" -
"Make it a bit more darker"
Me - "Okay"
"Ummm..a bit more lighter? Sorry, this is such a minor change,I figured it wouldn't need any documentation"
Me - "It's alright"
"Could you please make this text small, and reduce the opacity to 70%"
Me - *Rise in the levels of mental irritation, body's and blood's temperature*
"Oh and don't forget to add some tint to the background"
"Hey, sorry I forgot. We need to add another text below this image."
Me - Oh man oh man4 -
"ThE FIrsT ThiNg a Pr0GraMmer saYs whEn hE iZ b0Rn iZ HELlo w0Rld"
Damn, that is
So
Fucking
Funny
I wonder. Do the people that find this shit amusing are just discovering what programming is? Shit is so fucking cringey man.20 -
Imagine a person in 2020 meeting a time traveller from 2030.
— man, this pandemic sucks
— yeah, it's just the first year though
— the first what?
— yeah, pandemic didn't even end until the war
— until the WHAT?13 -
Oh man. We got another intern. This one has an attitude problem haha.
Oh boy. Gonna go on full veteran mode real quick.9 -
I am receiving this type of one liner mail more often from our clients.
"Application is not working properly."
Me:
Typed : explain properly idiot.
Deleted.
Typed Again: Sir, can you be more specific.
Sent.
Or
"Application is not running."
Me:
Typed : of course it can't run. Bloody hell.
Deleted.
Typed again: inconvenience caused deeply regretted. Our representative will contact you about this.
Sent.
Man i am tired.3 -
Maaaaaaaa man has been programming in Swift since 1997; assuming the description was written this year.
To put that into perspective, that's two years after the founding of both Java and JS.
I'm sure he's programming with his mind right now while we mere mortals are waiting for it to be standard by 2120 😭
Finally recruiters can hire someone with 20 years of Swift experience. This position has been void for awhile now... Catch up guys!
Hats off to you man!!!!
14 -
Students in my CS class be like: "This sucks"
Me: "y tho?"
Them: "Idk man, we thought we'd learn cool hacking stuff here instead of java and shit"
CESSPOOL OF FUCKING DEGENERATES CAN YOU NOT READ6 -
This happens to me all the time at my new company, the amount of wtfs I say in some js files, man...
1 -
So after my phone got stolen I am now using a series30 Nokia device, problem was synching contacts dumped from Google contacts. Run a Python script that modified the vcf into a format compatible with the series 30, never felt more of a hacker man than this
-
Man, this guy is fking useless.
I'm learning something new and ask him for help; he both mishears and confuses topics, so his explanations only ever make things worse. 😧6 -
This fucking kid has the audacity to ask for me to decompile someone else's work and recompile it for a newer version. Wtf man
4 -
This is real. I Used to hop distros like a mad man and I stopped hopping after installing arch and started hopping between desktop environments and window managers. Source: r/linuxmastrrrace
16 -
You have to wonder why our retarded education system still forces students to learn Pascal(Delphi)... 2nd most hated language in the world... I am learning this stinky pile of shit right now because I have my school-leaving exams from it tomorrow but oh man the pain...
26 -
Currently in the middle of quarterly planning (its been fun so far). Needs to be signed off by business today.
- My team has ~25 man weeks available in terms of capacity.
- Looking at only priority 0 tasks, last night we calculated the ask from product stands at 64.
- Including P1's, P2's etc. its well over 100 man weeks.
- Email was sent around from business with a list of tasks, asking which can be dropped, de-scoped etc.
Product (non technical) response this morning:
- This one can't take 2 weeks, its not that complicated.
- This one needs to stay, It was originally a Q1 task.
- Can we make this one smaller? (currently only a 3 week task)
- 14 comments on other teams items.
<extreme-sarcasm>
... ah perfect, that cut down the items by less than half. We are now ready for the deadline in 4 hours to have all this signed off on. Great job everyone. Thanks for all the insightful discussions. Go team!
</extreme-sarcasm>6 -
This is a conversation my friend and I had.
Me: let me just delete this file
*rm -rf filename*
Frnd: what does the rf do?
Me: Don't know man I just do it coz the memes tell me to.6 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."3 -
My boss just declared that every first Friday of every month would be LAN Party night. We bring our own PC or console or whatever and just play games all night (after work). Boss man will bring food. It's optional of course but god damn this is soooo good3
-
Elon Musk is building on new, rocket like transportation technology to travel to any part of the planet in half hour. Also should cost same as aircrafts today.
This is man modern day "Thinker"19 -
Me: Man this has been a killer week! Coding bootcamp has been better than I ever could have dreamed. Home life is good. Nothing could kill my good mood.
*opens up Facebook*
*Sees Microsoft is trying to pay billions of dollars to take control of Github*
...
FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK
*Starts cloning repos like crazy*
13 -
Oh my God. New pet peeve:
People who answer questions on Amazon with an answer like "idk I just got this :(" or "idk man I bought it as a present."
Why the fuck do you feel the urge to answer a fucking question without actually answering it? Like are you that fucking stupid? Jesus Christ.5 -
Me: Hey man, this code looks horrible, let's move this to a function.
Co worker: don't worry, we will make it better later
Me (thinking): yeah for sure...6 -
Oh man... I fucked up. I spent almost 36-40 hours in 3 days trying to fix a bug, that was quite literally a single, two word fix.
Change `Key` to `Value.State`
I burned that time into the weekend. I'm both satisfied and dissatisfied with this decision.11 -
During QA for a huge project when our dev team was confident of the stability of the project, We started introducing small bugs, QA team use to raise bugs in Jira, we marked them as not reproducible.
Frustrated QA started coming to our cubes - at this point dev team worked in a perfect coordination like a man to man marking in hockey. While one dev asked QA guy to reproduce the bug in front of him while the other dev has already fixed it.
Continued for a couple of days till our team lead was satisfied with the revenge. -
Normal day with some guy that worked at the company. the guy was in his 11 month when this happened. and this was just one of so many wtf moments with him.
Me: hey man, you're gotta work with some frontend stuff, we need you to run mysql(for the backend) and apache. so install mamp, is super easy to get that working.
Me: please just donwload the pkg from this link and click `next` until finish.
Dude: okay, will do
-- some 10 minutes later. --
Dude: hey man I got a problem
Me: Whaaaat? you shouldn't, that shit never gives problem, everyone(literally) have that installed in their macs
Dude: it's true, I got an error, it says: `mamp it's not compatible with osx` ...
Me: oh man, that's so strange, mamp is likely made just for osx(and windows), and also we got all the macs with at least 1 version behind the latest osx. :(
Dude: it's true. I need help with that
-- now I go to the guy's mac and see the `error` message --
Me: hey, this says nothing like being uncompatible man, this CLEARLY says that can't be opened for *reads the error for him* . man, don't make things up, at least try to translate the error and give me the exact information of your `error`.
Dude: ...
Me: man please... I know you have your issues with the language, I do too, a LOT, but I use google translator if I can't read the shit. I can't sit here with you as your translator. -___-
7 -
I hate those movies/tv series in programmer just tap on some keys and says it's done. this makes programming/coding looks so easy.
FUCK YOU MAN ITS NOT EASYYYY4 -
Fuck me man.
Last week when I needed to study for final exams, I wanted to learn all the codes.
Now that I'm free, all I feel like doing is sitting around and watching TV.
It's literally day #1 of my summer break omfg this is ridiculous11 -
Meeting yesterday:
Senior E: "Man, every time I do code review I thought this is the stupidest code ever written - then I look at the author, oh wait it's me"
Me: "Well, the perfect code is the code never gets written"
SE: "Casting appreciative look with a nod" -
A woman has bugs in her home, she wants to find a bug hunter to get rid of them. She calls a man who does bug hunting, he comes to her house and says: "I am a bug hunter, you called me. Where's your laptop?"
Woman confused as she is asks the man: "Why do you need a laptop to hunt and get rid of the bugs?"
"Well how else am I going to debug those bloody programs you wrote?"
Note: I promise I made this up, if anyone else already posted this, I wasn't aware.3 -
Friend: why do I get this error help
[I check the logs]
Me: uh,its a OOM, did you allocate enough memory for GC?
Friend: wait hold on
[changes a method]
[works]
Friend: I shouldn't use this experimental method
Me: Cool man blog it2 -
Just saw the first Iron Man again, but this time in english (never did it before (I'm stupid (but french dub is pretty nice tho))).
Poor dude developed his first armor with some kind of Vista running computer, I can't begin to imagine his pain during the process6 -
I SWEAR TO FUCKING ANDROMEDA, IF THIS APP CLOSES AGAIN AUTOMATICALLY, I am gonna open it again but man I am tired.8
-
It is 109° F / 39° C outside and I still hear people saying that they are glad the "cold days"(which meant 10° C AT MOST) are out.
Fuck this weather man. My house cold as fuck and my coding fresh af.
I hate this weather... about the only thing that sucks about Texas14 -
This was a straight-to-devrant moment...
Referred a work colleague to a man page for a command they were having trouble with.
Their reply: "I really hate man pages. They are not useful to me. They are full of blah blah blah blah blah. I just want 'run this' or 'run that'."
Then my eyes exploded right out my head, making room for my brain exploding right behind them.2 -
Do We All See the Man Holding an iPhone in This 1937 Painting?
"Mr. Pynchon and the Settling of Springfield" by Umberto Romano
8 -
!rant / funny
Here is something I saw online while in bed, made me laugh so much cried myself to sleep.
Reminded me of the time my mgr pushed me to make an android app despite me having no prior exp then getting snippy when the end results weren't up to it...
A game designer wanted to commission some conceptual artwork about monsters.
He asked the freelance artist to make him something kinda unique but not too far off, something like a mix between a centaur and a minotaur
The artist unfamiliar with that kinda work asked for more details, the designer said ah just mix em together , its easy, half bull half man and the other half man half horse (already incorrect) and he sent the man off to work.
A couple days later the artist is back...
Here its done, had to look up the monsters online but here ya go....
game designer : wtf is is ?!😡
Arist: half centaur half mino... whats wrong?! 😒
Designer: yeah but you got the wrong halves you dimwit!
you gave me a half "man-half-another-man" creature 😡
Disclaimer:
I found the image somewhere online with not much of any context or history .
I just know it was the product of a massive miscommunication 😂so I patched the story up for this rant
1 -
This article (based on a series of real tweets) is a hilarious description of the current state of the Internet of Things 😂
https://theguardian.com/technology/...
2 -
100% of the credit goes to my dear friend @TheKarlisK
This is our VPN project we did recently and published it as open source to the world.
Cheers to you my man, Karlis.
8 -
Roger Waters is a true fucking rebel.
Absolutely love this man and how he rejected Zuckerberg's offer to advertise on Facebook.
Fucking legend.
https://youtu.be/-TGBcAZ55D4
I cannot feel more pride of being a Floyd fan. The ideology is what keeps me going.1 -
Shit man if I thought that S.O for developers was bad.....Stack Exchange Mathematics is just fucking brutal omg I am loling so bad man these dudes have 0 patience and will legit kill trolls on spot.
Saw a dude not agreeing with implicit meanings behind certain symbolic notations, some other dude disagreed, fight ensured.
This shit is awesome. Ima stick with this shit for a while.
S.O still fucking sucks though. The stack is amazing and the app works fantastic. The people there are shitty beyond belief.
"Well, you probably said that beca...." fuck off3 -
This week's sprint:
Bugs that cannot be reproduced
Features that are vague as shit
Man fuck this week...1 -
Episode 3 of this rant: https://devrant.io/rants/871827/...
Me: So I'm going an API call to Mastercard but they don't give us back CreditCard token to save.
Provider: Ya man you need to curl a request in your code to get the token...blahblahblah.... man you need to know these things they are not an easy things to be done, just paste curl code on MasterCard website into your code and it will work
Me: *ignores his shit talk and proceed to test*
*5 minutes later*
MasterCard Server: error.cause=INVALID_REQUEST&error.explanation=Invalid+credentials.&result=ERROR
Me: *calls provider and tell him*
Provider: Oh sorry, we need to enable this feature for your account.
devRant people please, give me one reason why I should not leave this field, and maybe also leave this life knowing there are this type of people alive.
Thank you :)2 -
!rant
Had a meeting with the head of my department concerning the status of many of our current projects. Them projects are huge and it is 2 dedicated devs(me and the lead) working on them whilst training our CMS admin in development to help out(dude is talented af and really digs programming) and my manager was so worried about what he was gonna say.
The thing is, she doesn't know how to take a break, she never pushes us, but she does push herself and it pains the team to see her take so much heat. She really is a bomb manager, and we want her to be more at ease.
Well a couple of days ago the vips of the board decided to bombard her with shit since out dptmnt head was on sick leave. The stress they put on her was some military grade bs and even then she never...EVER took it out on anyone.
The head of our department walked in to talk to us about it. Dude is a tall older gentleman, suits up every day(Texas style meaning cowboy boots and everything) and is quite imposing. Has a stern look man, one of them 1000 mile stares and a huge mustache that more than surpasses mine(which mind you, my mustache is fucking outstanding)
Our boss walked into the meeting room, sat down and heard what she had to say, she was not excusing herself. As bomb as this gorgeous woman is she was all about telling him what we were going to show the board on next week's meeting.
He sat there quietly listening to her as well as the presentation that me and my boys had to do.
What happened next blew me the fuck out of this world.
He said that he was sorry that so much stress had come down to her and us whilst he was gone and that he was happy with the leadership showcased by her and the initiative that the team took to put forward a presentation for him and the board. He also said that he was going to make said presentation for us since the vips had no business stressing us out, he asked for our assistance for any of the technical stats since even though he was a programmer he is not aware of all the inner details of our apps. He said that it is commendable that such a small team can hold 2 campus(college level) and that he was aware of the technical proficiency of me and the lead and that he knows that our shit is not something that gets done overnight.
He then said that at any given time that we get antagonized by matters such as timeframes or shit like that that we can direct everyone to him, regardless of what.
.He was also really amazed at the progress we showed him on the current projects(most are on their respective testing phases).
He then reiterated on how proud he is of all of us before biding us a good weekend and leaving to his office
As i sat there watching how the world was lifted from my manager and happy that he enjoyed the progress of my work I could not help but feel a deep sense of admiration and respect for this mysterious man.
I would damn skippy take a bullet for him....just in case my draw gets sloppy that is, ain't no one taking aim at the boss.3 -
Yesterday night I worked 2 hours on a side project.
This is the first time in 4 months this happens.
Feels so much better man1 -
Man, this community is great. I have 2 "rants" already and, from what I can tell, I haven't been shitposted on! Now that I've spoken of the devil, let the shitposting commence!12
-
Computers in german schools man.
Everywhere you see those poor white boxes from 19something, which take ages to turn on.
Has anyone else wondered what this "Windows XP" is which it keeps displaying?
Why do none of the teachers use them or explain us what these are?4 -
So... I made a post last month about Portugal burning....
This month... Portugal has the worst drought in 80 years...
It has became so bad that animals are dying of hunger because there isn't anything to feed them, or thrist because there is no water...
Even water dams are empty...
Man... Is this the effect of climate change, or just bad luck?
9 -
Me: Man, I will never figure this bug out...
Me(5mins later, after solving the bug) : Hell yeah!
Me(10 mins later) : I will never figure this bug out1 -
Welcome to Nigeria (the most religious nation in the world), - all python developers are devilish and will rot in hell! according to this man of God.
8 -
I wrote a scientific paper of six and a half pages.
This man wrote 60 comments on it.
I admire the dedication. 😐8 -
That a man owns a fully-rugged notebook computer does not imply that this man should hold the computer by its screen.5
-
Just found out that our front-end intern that has been here for more than 4 months don't know about "onchange" events!!!
wtf man? I'm back end and know this shit...2 -
>import ENi18n
>import ZHi18n
en = {…ENi18n, moreStuff}
zh = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffZH}
pt = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffPT}
“Hey man can you fix this? Seems like we are missing the Portuguese i18n. Check this file please (path)”
“I’m sorry I don’t understand, can you call me and explain?”
Why do I need to explain this? What is difficult to grasp here? How can it take more than 20 seconds to know what to do here? It’s not even a file I made, you made it and I just ran into it!
Fuck man, I’m going to blow my brains out.2 -
I'll just leave this here. RIP Firebug.
Not only you made me the front end developer I'm today, you also made me a man.3 -
This is interesting coming from the man who build the biggest IP conglomerate in the world. A man who actively tried to kill open source. Looks like he got into his senses at his old age. Although, he is talking about AI models only, not software as a whole.
Yes ML/AI models are software.
2 -
Been developing a Java app for 3 months, including basically everything from aop to rest services.
Meeting with po:
Me: So, guess how many loc I wrote.
Po: 400?
Me: *laughs* I'll get to 10.000 this week.
MAN COMES IN WITH CHANGING REQUIREMENTS ON AN HOURLY BASIS YET STILL DOESNT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH WORK ALL THIS SHIT IS!!1 -
I don't understand people who write "Fu*k" instead of "Fuck", dude everyone know what's that means anyway and you definitely not going to become a Honorable man or you will go to heaven by doing this. Seriously.11
-
Never thought I'd say this but...I wish IE6 was back for Outlook.
//After Outlook 2003, Microsoft decided that MS Word was a better renderer for emails than IE6 was, what the hell Microsoft?! Get it together man.4 -
Ha ha just this happened, One young man is building some shit on Wordpress with bunch of free plugins. And he said i'm a good dev. And he's login page load speed is 47 seconds.2
-
!rant
This morning, I thought I'd give devRantron a try, and man, I'm not disappointed.
Since I'm always at my computer, I rarely check my phone and now that we have a proper desktop client, I can finally shitpost while sitting at my desk. :v
No seriously though, this app is awesome.
Props to Tahnik and the other guys who worked on it.5 -
$md5 = md5_file($file_uri);
=> Returns false
Mmh...
die(is_readable($file_uri));
=> Returns false
[Mmh intensifies]
if(!is_readable($file_uri)) {
chmod($file_uri, 0777);
}
=> Chmod() returns false
GAAAAH FUCK THIS I CALL IT A DAY6 -
Manager: how long does it take to add this functionality?
Me: 🤔, give me 6 days.
Man: perfect, you'll have 4 days
Me: why ask me then?
Man: so you feel included in the decision 🙂
Me: ..... Right... And ignored....
And now he wonders why, since then, I overestimate the times... And I wonder why he didn't fire me, my friends get scared everytime I talk to our manager 😛, actually, they forbid me from talking in meetings 😛. -
Soooo might turn into the lead developer of the web services of 2 fucking schools with the manpower of 2 for which one of us ain't even a developer all because HR put my lead developer in the hospital and he might be so fucking fed up that he may not come back to work.
Fuck
Human
Resources
Holy fuck man.....I was already a lead mobile developer before and i fucking hated every minute of it and the pay raise ain't even gonna be worth it for the ammount of shit that i am going to be required to do.
Fuck this, fingers crossed man I really want my boy to come back cuz I don't wanna deal with this bullshit.
I seriously never thought i would be in this position and by heavens i have been in some shit before.
Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
Fingers crossed my boy gets better man fr.7 -
Custom theming for Spotify? That's cool asf. Man I love how smart and creative people are to come up with this shit.
https://github.com/khanhas/...3 -
As always,
Go to the f***ing toilet and inspiration will pop in your head.
Man, how many times should I post this here? (smirks)2 -
OMFG network-manager randomizes the mac of wlan0. And it ignores me turning this "feature" off. WHAT THE HELL MAN4
-
`This is not over......................Young man...`
Is what I say to my IDE everyday before heading home1 -
Using the most advanced tests known to man, I have concluded that this Nokia should be ashamed of itself.
10 -
Every time I come back to Java:
"Oh man OOP is fun"
A few days later...
"This stupidly verbose, hand-holding garbage."4 -
An old man in my company walked in the restroom right after I entered, I was destroying the toilet when I heard him leave without WASHING HIS FUCKING HANDS, some time later I saw this animal communicating and shaking hands with somebody. Have you been grossed out by an event like this before?13
-
They say PHP is dead, PHP sucks, PHP this, PHP that. I don't want to hear anymore. This dead man is doing wonders. 😠12
-
Girlfriend to Siri: Set my alarm to 05:30
Siri (with the man voice): ok, I have set your alarm to 05:03
Girlfriend (absolutely satisfied): Ok but I don't want this
*manually turns wrong alarm off and the correct one on* -
Well today I feel like shit so I called in sick. Found out the lead developer called in sick as well.
The thing is, there was something really important to be done today that he fucking new that if he was not to be there I was going to get shit from everyone. He is going through some shit right now and I get it, so I would normally cut him some slack.
But fuck man, at some point you got to man the fuck up and deal with your job, if anything do it for your fucking coworkers/friends. He fucking new that I was going to get a fuckload of bullshit over something that he takes care of.
Nevermind that there are only 2 fucking developers for the entire fucking campus(2 campuses actually) and we were told last friday that we were needed. Normally, one would put up with the bullshit and make a presence, but that one of us is always me. Today I said fuck it, its too cold, don't feel good and I don't want to take my daughter to the daycare.
Today I sit at home, go over my OS books, play Skyward Sword with my daughter, watch movies with her and I don't think about work for one second.
On another note, the reason why I need to go through my OS books is that a good portion of my masters degree(which I am to start on August) covers OS development, it seems that the entire curriculum will be C/C++ galore which makes me FUCKING STOKED! finally a break form web development that I can probably use to get me out of web development professionally as well.9 -
So today I passed my C# exam with more than 900 points (out of 1000) which I had to do for my company. They really appreciate that I got such a score that I got this really expensive bottle of champagne!
Man, I love this company already. It only has been 2 weeks I'm working there..6 -
me: Today will be a productive code efficient day
also me: what is diz devRant
then me: man this is lit
*fml*11 -
*thing does not work*
> Me: Ok, see, this isn't working properly, when I do this...
*The thing works properly*
>Me: Sweet, this is what I needed! Thanks man!
*My friend looks at me in confusion*7 -
So... The scrapyard man who I gave my scrap gave me this beauties he had there for years...
Anyone knows how I can test the screens and maybe build a desktop screen out of them?
17 -
Sometimes when I'm telling my boss how to do something on his computer or I am watching him explaining something to me and he seems like a fucking lost infant that never used a fucking computer in his life I just wanna say loud and firmly:
"What the fuck man? Can't you fucking just click this shit already? Your fucking mouse pointer is on it already, click this motherfucker for once!"6 -
Man learning I’m not good at learning new languages, I get to the point where I have the basics of the language ex: Conditional statements, loops, functions, classes, structures, file manipulation, etc but idk what to do after that, is this where I start learning libraries cause I still get the feeling I’m not at that step yet.
Before you ask, yes I know I am heavily over thinking this2 -
My business partner and I started working at our new office and this other guy who was our client and provided us Internet connection for very cheap price, asked us if he can come and hangout sometimes
My partner : yeah man, any time !!
That guy : thanks man
Partner : But only when we are not that busy and don't bring any other person unless it's a woman.
Me : what !!
My partner : what ?4 -
I don't have anything to rant about (still in college). This either means one of two things.
1. My life is boring as hell.
2. There's a lot of shit happening around me and I am not educated enough to understand it.
Feels sad man... :(1 -
Friend: can you take a look at my code, there’s this bug that I’m having trouble with.
Me: yea sure.
Friend shows me IntelliJ with the default white theme...
Me: WTF man, my eyes are burning.
Never looking at his code again. At least until he changes to a dark theme.3 -
Fucking idiot designers providing design in .jpg and .pdf, how the fuck am I to know what padding or margin is to this element. and at the last moment, they ask to just to put down images as "patches" and make sure it's "clickable", man fuck this!6
-
Today's first day at my internship has been wasted by IntelliJ IDEA not importing a project properly.
On the bright side, other devs told me that it took them three days in order for all configuration to be set up.
Man, this sure feels unproductive.3 -
I just read Jeff Bezos' article on Medium about how the ones at American Media are threatening him of leaking his private pictures.
As I was reading it, I felt, "Man, how low has journalism come to these days. Here is a guy who's worked so hard to build one of the world's biggest companies, and here are the ones at the National Enquirer trying to bring this man down."
To be honest, who gave them the right to indulge in a person's private life? Why do they have to say, "A nude selfie with his wedding ring on?" Maybe, he sent that image to his wife. This makes me wonder, "Is this the way we treat humans?"
Why are we concerned about what a man does in his personal life? What impact does taking down a man in public bring?
Thoughts, please!13 -
1 day ago my wife's father died, I'd like to do checkout on this repo called life, but we can't, I loved that man as my father, I have to be strong to keep my wife strong, I cry when I'm not in home. Code it's like my beer. Cheers!
-
A few years ago I was at the taco bus (Taco Tepito) to get some food. There was a couple there (man and woman). The woman was speaking fluent Spanish to order their food. It kind of seemed like she was showing off her skill to the man. Seemed like a date situation.
While we are waiting a cat ran out from under the bus. To this I said: "One got away." The man started laughing at this comment. The woman looked visibly angry. I am not sure if she was more mad at me for making the comment, or mad at her date for laughing about the comment. Sorry dude. Hopefully she could look past that.
Actual picture of the bus, plus a cat I added:
2 -
Man, I love how G++ (and every other Gnu tool for that matter) makes 0 effort to understand what you fucked up, and they only tell you where they got stuck. What am I supposed to do with this error that doesn't contain a single reference to my project?
7 -
Have you ever played Zelda: Breath of The Wild?
Have you seen this system where you set a point on the map, and see a colum of light going up from this point with the Sheikah tablet?
Man I'd love to do that in an augmented reality system on a smartphone 😍5 -
Marketing tech of over 25 years in this company asks this at least 2 - 3 times a year, "to find the percentage, take the small number and divide by the big number right?"
NO. NO. NO. NOOO! NOOOOOO! God dammit. You're a grown man. -
Once upon a time there lived an old man who was waiting for his AJAX response, some say he is still waiting to this day.
-
- scripting some unix helpu script
- searching google and stackoverflow for simple solutions:
"Just use 'sed --akeib )-£?"/'/#'. Can't you read man pages ffs?"
"Dude, awk is totally the thing you want to use for this kinda thing!"
"Honestly, have you ever heard of perl?"4 -
Just started reading The Mythical Man-Month, and already in the first two chapters I went "oh hey this [fatal flaw in planning] sounds familiar!"
Is this a good or a bad sign...?6 -
Man, some days, these fucking managers just make me want to get fucking drunk...
clueless questions, annoying fucking fake priority shit immediately asking for this and that with absolutely no planning or thinking ahead
its really like guiding kids through kindergarten some days
i want to bring some seriousness and structure to this company but some days.... man, i just am done with it10 -
This whole platform can be summarized as: "I have no clue what I am doing and now it's broken... man, fuck whoever created this shit..."4
-
I fucking hate my job
Man it’s been a year now freelancing and just working like a dog day and night for a scammy dating app and I just wanna shoot myself in the face at this point. Just another horrible day after the other dealing with a bunch of assholes.3 -
man, those hours.... some god, please kill the bastard responsible for this shit...
(
in the picture is like:
weight: beautician
occupation: "" --empty string
)
1 -
School made me a stickler for the Linux kernel coding conventions in regards to the C language. And even though I shouldn't feel bothered by reading other coding styles.....i still get annoyed.
I try not to get irked cuz I find it a small thing to get annoyed at.... but i still do.....bad.
And even then i dislike how there is not padding inside of funcion parametes
void
fu(int here, int there) {}
Should be
void
fu( int here, int there ) {}
That space man...its needed.
Man this is such a small thing to be annoyed at..3 -
Today I download a python instagram bot on github. Man this language is so interesting...
OMG what have I missed????3 -
Fuck Airlines man !
I came 6hrs early to the airport as I had to check out from the hotel.
Then this ass airlines delays flight by 2hrs !
Luckily I have my laptop with me on this flight,sorted some work in the first 2 hrs, bt now I am fuckin done!
Aaaah ! Also the airport wifi is so shit,I can even do a google search properly!11 -
Never create a work around for assholes. It will eventually become their solution.
Man fuck this guy, this project is almost a year old and it was originally supposed to be a patch. But even with all my insisting, they never tried to move to the real solution.
Now this jackass brings it up and he's a hero, and I don't know what I'm doing. What a fucking way to start the week. -
I feel so fucking happy, today i was accepted as a new Dev on a new Job, I will need to move and leave some things, but man, I was really thinking that maybe i wasn't enough for this country
-
Working on a big project with lots of legacy code and terrible code. Full of jewels like this:
$('.form-item-to input').parent().removeClass('isOpen');
Man... .form-item-to IS the immediate, direct and only parent of the only input child!!! -
Integrating Google recaptcha into my web service. For some reason it always errors, both on a production and development environment, correct domains configured, and with he simplest setup. I'm fucking lost, documentation assumes it actually works. Similar errors on stack overflow and Google groups either got no answers or have obvious issues.
Fuck this man4 -
So me and my team created an android application for "pet lost and found " . So one of my friend decided to troll us..
Bro you better don't do this is the production man... Hahahaha
2 -
I was just hit by this wave of depression. I don't even know why to be honest, but somehow it feels like things aren't going how they should
This sucks man4 -
Man I couldn't believe, whenever there's a rant of wk100 as a newcomer to devRant I couldn't understand anything, today I understood that this week is wk101.
So I joined devRant at wk100.
That's something. -
For all things, for all men, that a man compliments a thing does not imply that this man at least attempts to understand this thing. However, for all men, that a man criticises a thing implies that this man at least attempts to understand this thing.
For all computer programs, that a computer program is terrible implies that scrapping the current implementation of this computer program and beginning anew may be the best method of fixing this computer program.
With few exceptions, for all programming languages $l$, given sufficient effort, $l$ source code can be human-readable.
The UNIX philosophy never became outdated.
For all computer programs $p$, $p$ should be written sufficiently well that the author of $p$ can be prideful of $p$.
For all computer programs $p$, a specification for $p$ should be written before $p$ is created.
For all good computer programs, a good computer program can run on terrible hardware.
Every clock cycle is valuable.8 -
Maybe this is naive, but I feel if an application/feature is strategically important to a company, at least two developers should always be assigned to support it routinely. This great resignation is no joke, and I’m getting tired of being the last man standing here. I’m too old for this shit.8
-
So this is about one assignment I had in my first programming class in university, I had a group which had 3 members, one saw the assignment and just quit, the other was always saying, "I Know what we have to do to complete this exercise" and I was like "great, then do it"...
Seconds later he just didn't do anything like "WT* man"2 -
This is getting weird. Every day, I finish all pending dev jobs in time and then I get 4-5 hours of spare time.
What to do man!5 -
Man... I hate refactoring. After I had finished up an issue this morning, I had to refactor old sql queries and the parsing to the views.
I've worked on it all day and I still haven't finished! Still loving my job, tasks like these are unavoidable but they drain the life out of me.3 -
So i've just learned C# and started learning how to use it in unity. And one of my friends asked me if I could help him with an error he couldn't understand, and I said sure (Why didn't he search up what the error meant?). I look at the syntax. This is ruby code, come on man I said i know about C# I don't know anything about ruby man.6
-
Just got myself a Pixelbook and man is this thing a sweet little machine! Excellent battery life, a pretty decent backlit keyboard and I can work on my personal project using VSCode and the integrated debugger!
Google is doing a good job with making Chromebooks developer friendly.2 -
From few months I was coding late night like 3 to 4 AM but now I can't sleep at night at all 🥺 shit man some time I just think through this and go to mountains 😞10
-
Found this gem a while ago that made my day
if ( $this->isExternal() ) {
// This probably shouldn't even happen. ohh man, oh yuck.
// But for interwiki transclusion it sometimes does.
// Shit. Shit shit shit.
//
// Use the canonical namespaces if possible to try to
// resolve a foreign namespace.
if ( MWNamespace::exists( $this->mNamespace ) ) {
return MWNamespace::getCanonicalName( $this->mNamespace );
}
In a not too old version for mediawiki, the codebase for Wikipedia.
https://phabricator.wikimedia.org/s... -
Getting back on track is so difficult man .😅
I've almost spent a week procrastinating and crying that I can't do coding coz I'm sick .,while I watched movies 😂
So today I'm gonna stop this snowball effect (which I thought yesterday and the day before)
🤘🤘 -
One of my very first PR's didn't even get a comment and I worked hard on it...
Feels bad man, all I need is some kind of yes, thanks for this, or no, this doesn't fit the project goals.
After patiently waiting, went ahead and created my own gem! No response sucks.
Why does this happen?1 -
There's like a billion developers out there but I'm the single developer this boss man chooses to be a pain in the ass to.
Great. Just great! -
Today, i finally got my desired job as Android developer in a startup, earlier i was working as a php developer to pay my bills. I told my pm about me quitting this week and man he congrts me from getting out this shitty job.
Now m just waiting for my salary before i quit. -
Regretting I ever put Mongo on this app's stack... It's been great to learn in the process, but man it can be a bitch to setup sometimes...
-
Can't install Flutter in Raspberry Pi feels bad man.
I just want to do so much using this small machine. -
WHY IN THE WORLD IS PHPSTORMS CTRL + Y SET TO DELETE A FUCKING LIIIIIINE. WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEEELL
can't even undo it man. this suuuuuucks.4 -
just installed deepin linux, man this shit is sooooo beautiful! it's based on debian in the new version (15.4, formerly it was ubuntu based). It has its own store where you can find sublime, vscode, most of other editors and even IDEs.9
-
This is hilarious, what if iron man run over windows. Must watch this video
https://gfycat.com/LoathsomeWarmIrr... -
I've just started writing tech blog posts this weekend. Two posts baked by today, another one should be completed by tomorow eod :)
oh man... Apparently I like blogging :)4 -
Couldn't figure out for the life of me why axios wouldn't ping to the server. Turns out the CORS policy didn't like this. Two fucking hours, man.
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This old man is making me upgrade his waaay to old iMac to Windows 10... This is our third attempt (so the third day I'm coming over to try and upgrade), it's working - albeit slowly - as he has upgraded to 16gb ram...
I'm a software (C++) developer -_-
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I think it’s so cute when websites tell me that I need to disable my adbl....(inspect page).... no wait, we can talk about thi....(finds elements)....awww cmon man... really? This isn’t fair..(adds display:relative)... this is some bullshit right here! I’m really disappointed in your beha....5
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Resently I was messing around with USB extender cables that I had lying around. And I made this.
And I got it to ba able to go pretty far but then I realized that I could spider man my external battery from outlet to outlet.
I am calling it spideemanning.
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!rant but still devrelated
I will add this in one of our major projects. I want to see who gets it man :( i have to, for the sake of wesome stuff
If ( user.hasGhosts() ) {
return user.hasEverything();
}
Just gonna hide that shit somewhere.6 -
the moment when we made a Miami Vice inspired Rambo parody game with John Rasta ninja fighting Federal Agent Man to save his uncle from arrest because he possessed some sacred herbs. This was a school project... never got to know if our teacher got the hidden message or not...
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Sometimes I really have a feeling that God invented Jira to punish me
I really hate it . It's like working with an OCD and sinile old man .
More over this Jira comes with Entourage of duchbags that suppose to support it, but are stupid as fuck.13 -
!rant
Man, I thought this low temperature screen on my Mi A1 was a gimmick. But it's great! 💯 satisfied. -
Fucking configuration files man. Every repo has 10+ .config.json files now. Why hasn’t some universal scheme emerged this is ridiculous?!8
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the moment when you havent slept one night and about this time the next day u start running low on battery. You think to yourself... just a lil bit, to finish this and that first, and your body is naaah man...ok will give ya 'bout 5 mins. so hurry up...right...now where was we...zzz3
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There is a subreddit called “Thomas the Plank Engine”, where people share memes from their dreams.
This is my entry. The second pic is supposed to be a man crying in the bed with their phone, but that's the best pic I've found.
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Right now I'm standing in this Apple Reseller store waiting in the line and there's an old man who doesn't understand a fuck of his iPhone, and it turns out it's about setting up his fucksucking mail! I'm waiting for half an hour already, am so fucking done with this.
There's also this useless shit of an "Apple Expert" employee who doesn't do a thing. He constantly walks through the store very nervous and I'm getting fucking sick of this guy...2 -
Is getting 25++ this hard!!! Man i want those stickers🙃🙃🙃 I ++ everyone's rant hoping they will get 25 ++ and get their pack of stickers😂26
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I started chilling and coding with this new lofi genre. I might be late to discover this genre but this is an awesome man.
I mixed that with the pokemon games that I used to love so much and then I discovered this.
https://youtube.com/watch/...6 -
Me : .. but sir without sass/js compiled, how can we address the issue?
Boss : that is not an issue, issue is with on approach we have taken?
You sick fuck, you take other developers un-finished work, expect me to finish it (which it did) and when the other developer is not smart enough to copy paste the solution, you give an "update" to me, I mean how the fuck, what ever..
I really really put efforts to make this shit happen, I know very little about your commerce cloud shit, but when you question my logic on basis of someone who will pay you to finish her work, it is very unethical and hard to swallow it down.
Maybe this is my first real job, that is why this is so hard, but I gotta do what I gotta do -
Applied for a research intern, talked about their research and my current project for 10 minutes, then started a fucking coding interview, which I couldn’t solve cuz I’m dumb
But man, this is a research position, and our work were so close wtf?
Got rejection this morning, fuck the coding interview8 -
Fuck me man this is the second time this week! Planning on going fully to Ubuntu mint.... But I'm not sure if that's the best solution for me
Need a good distro for web development
(php, mysql, Javascript) any other recommendations or should I stick to mint?
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A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, *"But how'd you know?"**
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."1 -
Talk shit, close the door to the people who have faith on you, that’s how good CEO, a man with dream, follows first principle do!
This is how mafia works!👎
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The first thing I thought when I saw this guy was:
SKYRIM IS FOR THE NORDS!
https://eastidahonews.com/2020/09/...4 -
Some clients are down right stupid, the guy send me a shortcut to a video to upload to a site, this is man who wants the WordPress user manual
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If I ever fall into a blackhole I dont think there's any "big and tall man" shop anywhere this side of the universe that sells clothes big enough to compensate for spaghettification.
There *might* be one on the *other* side though (assuming I make it through the blackhole first).
Their foot traffic must suck though.3 -
This screenshot is from when i first installed Ubuntu, i think 2 years ago.
I though well I'm not gonna be using it much, why bother giving it more than 30 gigs?
WRONG
I instantly fell in love and this became my daily driver. Within 2 weeks this happened. So I did what any sane person would do. Deleted windows partition to make space for this lil fella. (I didn't have much hdd space)
I am a proud man
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2:30 am... Fucking insomnia man, let me be. I’ve got to dig through the ditches and burn through the witches tomorrow, I don’t have time for this shit.1
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man, this nginx micro-services stuff is unreal - take your monolithic OOP application and split it across your environment and let them talk REST to each other. so sweet!6
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Fuck man! Let ME communicate with the other devs who worked on this project. I know you mean well, but when you can't remember the difference between Java and JavaScript, you aren't going to be able to effectively communicate technical details back and forth.
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Man I totally forgot about this framework/lib from back in the day. I was reminded when I was installing WhatsApp on Windows. Wx Widgets, oh the memories!
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!rant
Y'all ever heard of the Clingo language for Answer Set Programming? Fucking concept is blowing my mind. Taking a class on KRR(my graduate degree is all about A.I) and this shit is beyond interesting man.2 -
The man just asked how to make folders with the command line, what on earth is this 100-line nightmare json?
https://superuser.com/a/14187013 -
By looking at the prototypes and technical ideas which I fail to implements due to various reason , I got an idea.
I got an idea to have a kind of grave yard where people can bury their fail prototype and technical ideas and other people can dug them for inspiration or profits.
As the saying goes "One man trash is another man treasure."
I hope this idea of making a grave yard will not be "an actual fail idea"5 -
man
I just can't seem to find motivation to code
any suggestions? I really want to get out of this coding slump :(3 -
Height of Trench coding
WTF its 6.30 time to go home, but this fuc...ing bug isn't getting resolved, what the hell man. where did i do the mistake?
ok its time to go better i hardcode return 54;(expected answer) -
!dev
Man, Christmas isn't here yet, I already want it to end. I was planning on resting during this time, but I already know this will look like a drama tv show. I guess I'll spend Christmas alone for the first time of my life but I least I'll be at peace. -
Was fixing this time date issue on the servers and forgot how to. Ran $ man date
If I was still single, I'd cry. And if I get divorced, I would not know how to get into the game at all. I just hope the next time I run this would definitely help me get my life together, or fix this time drift properly. -
So I’ve got a teacher that supposedly does web development. Very basic, nothing too complex. He says we’re gonna learn python, which I’ve been learning for a while now. First this man says we’re gonna make a game. Simple. I ask him what api so I can study it and this man says he’s not going to use an api/libraries. He then proceeds to say that he didn’t use any other coding languages.
He’s a psychopath.8 -
**in police station**
Officer: What happened?
My friend : He punched me, sir! This man has broken my jaw!
O : Why did you punched your friend?
Me : He asked about my love life sir.
O : So?
Me : that's a kitbag question.
O : wha-?
Me :
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Man, at the rate I'm going, I'll have to put a bug I found back in April on my new years resolution list...
Sad thing is, as we all know, new years resolutions never work out... So maybe this bug will never be solved :S -
So it me again and loviing my life at this tech startup..... i feel like I'm actually achieving something thogh at a slow pace
I know i can give out more to this startup.....but there is this 1 manager in our technical department......FUCK the old man thinks he knows everything and so damn arrogant.... at one time he made a fucking simple error which was fucking obvius but the man you cant tell him anything
if anything goes wrong or if anything isnt working the FUCKING old man is quick to throw the blame on people which i feel isnt supposed to be a mind set of some1 in the technical department..... I get it yes sometimes it will be the person making errors but even when you do it right and its not coming out as its supposed to be the damn OLD FUCKING MAN says you are doing it wrong.....then he steps in and bang....it fels and he'll be like "WHAT? HOW WHATS GOING ON...."
and me silently will be like MAKE IT WORK FUCKING OLD GENIUS
I cant even bring in new ideas and systems into the company......hell be like WE ALREADY HAVE SYSTEMS IN PLACE.... guess what..... no fucking system is being used -
Man it really sucks to be a stranger among hundreds of people. You're are not alone but you're lonely and that sucks more. Currently attending a wedding function of daughter or son of co-worker of my mom because I had to drive her to this place.
How can i make this situation good?3 -
Oh man, I know this isn't the place for videos but this video on why coding sucks is probably the best rant in existence.
https://youtube.com/watch/...1 -
How can I land a remote job..... Man i am tired of commuting to work.
Fuel prices are getting higher and higher. I am tired of this drive to work place and back to home loop.6 -
Announcer: Its Tim the tooltip man!
Tim: Excuse me while I mansplain what this button is supposed to do.1 -
Making meetings productive ?
Dunno man i can just put a card with: "We dont have the resources for this !" in my place during any meeting and it's going to be awsome . -
I wish impostor syndrome wouldn't be a thing. After reading some blog posts I feel like I lucked out and I should just quit this and become a delivery man or something.5
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Several months ago I was praising antd's forms but honestly I can't figure how to debug them with React Context Devtools, let alone do that inside React Storybook.
Unless I come up with a solution for this problem I'm a dead man.4 -
Honestly, am I the same guy who wrote this code 4 years ago? How comes I never commented it! Shit man. What do you do with code that works just fine but you don't know how it works..???2
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Sometimes i feel being bad and wrong is better than being good. At least people will not demean you.
Case A : the bad guy
F : Hey man how are you doing?
Me : nothing man just smoking weed and being high all day
F : ugh . Ok i have to go
Case B : the good giy
F :hey man how are you doing?
Me : Awesome man! I have been learning and making apps for last 2 years, recently released this very nice ui notes app with unique notification capability. Took me a month but am so proud of it.
F1 : just the notes app? I made a tiktok clone in 1 month after learning android
Me : :'(
F2 : notes app? I made this awesome *small butunique app idea* app that got 50k installs
Me: :''(
F3 : 2 years? In 2 years i have learned so much that i can now make this puny notes app in ios Android website all synced up in 5 different frameworks with 10 additional features.
Me- ;''(
F4 : cool app. So now can you make this *random idea* app for me? Here are the designs and resources You seem experienced,How long would it take you?
Me : umm i guess so.. idea seems plausible, but i haven't worked on some things that are needed to complete it. So... x days?
F4 : X DAYS?!! wtf man ? Don't you know how to code? Does this looks like a task of x days? You even an engineer bro? Make it in 3 days
Me :
(Ps : replace F with friends , managers , ... Everyone :/)2 -
Well was my last day at my old school for this contract and I already miss being there...
Fuck 3 week contracts man. -
don't you just love it when you have to fix a system that consists on unnecessary junk code, horrible/lack of indentation, no documentation and the clients says "I don't know what happened fix it and I'll post you good"
I mean, I live for this shit man! -
I was just surfing and then I found this jem.
Real man of culture John Macfee.
https://youtu.be/bKgf5PaBzyg1 -
Man I love django so far, but django.forms module is such a pain in the ass sometimes, why can't you be more intuitive? I think I'm gonna make my forms in HTML this time and process data with a function based view1
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Man this heat. Everytime I push space bar a new trickle of sweat falls into my eyelashes and causes everything to look like a video game kill cam after a tab of LSD.2
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Reinstalled my laptop from a hacked-together Ubuntu server install with i3wm and some other junk to a plain Ubuntu 18.04 install.
Man, I love this Gnome shell so much...
It's really nice when you have a small screen... -
Meeeen this is crazy. The director created a testing route inside the actual api controller instead inside the spec file. Common man. We better than this. 🤦🏻♂️2
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Oh man, why is there no good api for ocr in PDFs? Once you are searching for this kind you will only find some kind of tesseract.
Why doesn't have Amazon an api for this???3 -
Idiot: "You should use this thing for that ! It's way better than your suggestion "
Me: " ok cool can you explain to me why it's better or even what it does for me? "
Idiot: " well .. It's kind of ... Like .. Erm ....google it man"
Me: "face palm" -
Giving them a bit test of programming told them young man..young gal, if you wana go far with this shit you have to be serious....You cnt just wake up from ur sleep en say you wana code..Nop it takes passion and practice.
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"I am Iron Man"
lol
it really feels like this.....only the true "Code-runners" can understand this...
kek
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When you ask for help, and they tell you you are on your own with this one bud. No wonder I hate my job some days, the fact that the project is due at 4, it's 2:30, and I still need help because I'm lost and am said one man army of IT. Nah, your on your own with this one. FML
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Finally got around to migrating my two servers after Scaleway and Aruba raised their prices... man these migrations are a pain in the ass.
And I *still* have not finished migrating the docker containers, because that piece of trash still eludes me.
Maybe it's my depression speaking, but this shit is exhausting2 -
AoC 8b teaches the importance of looking at your data to simplify your solution by simply not supporting inputs that are difficult and don't appear in your sample.
Man, fuck is this noise.
In other news, I caught up to AoC.1 -
devRant please hear me out. Why use this ":/" instead of this ":)" or this ":D" or, I don't know, some shit like this ":P" maybe. Don't overwrite my feelings man, I love and enjoy coding!
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Half the time when I’m unwelcomingly exposed to these people when they speak I picture a fat man yelling “oh what would giant boy detective do ??!?!” For including this present bitch
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I want to create an open source sort of clone of Facebook but privacy minded.. I deleted mine a few weeks ago because of the massive amount of datacollection. I mean, talking on messenger about shoes for example, then going on fb to see shoe commercials. I mean, fck that man.. you can change some settings but nothing in regards to this. This go beyond my limit of privacy.9
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