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I'm graduating today! loads of pictures will be taken today AND GUESS WHO JUST WOKE UP WITH A BIG MOTHERFUCKING RED INFECTED EYE FOR THE FIRST TIME OF HIS ENTIRE FATHERFUCKING LIFE. YES MOTHERFUCKING YES IT'S ME FUCKING COCK SUCKERS FUUUUUUUUUUU 😭😡37
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*Me trying to flirt with her*
Me: "Programming turns me 1."
She: "JavaScript turns me true."
Guess who spent whole day searching some good js tutorials on web today ??6 -
Guess who refused the the request to return at work after being fired unfairly? After months they understood they're wrong and they need me or just they noticed that no one wants to work in those conditions?
12 -
Had an interest in IT security some time ago, so I downloaded some tools to experiment a little and research to get some first hand experience since a lot of the course material we have at work is too vague....
Guess who got a visit from the police 👮
😡16 -
Sister broke up with her bf (sad) and he gave her a fidget cube as a present a little back. She wanted to get rid of memories so guess who now has his first fidget cube, yes! her brother! Meeeeeee 🙌😃
14 -
I once had a co-worker (QA guy) who had the worst smelling breath of anyone's I ever smelled. He was a nice guy but it was kind of weird/irritating how bad it smelled. One day someone confronted him about it, and he said that it was garlic since he apparently constantly chewed on garlic. I guess it was just some odd habit and he didn't care he was grossing everyone out haha.11
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"I don't like the people in this town, they're so empty."
"I don't have a girlfriend, all the girls in here are so empty."
"I prefer reading over scrolling down through Facebook feeds, because books teach you something."
This time those words didn't come from me.. as it so happens that the guy who recently moved into the apartment next door is an aerospace engineer, also diagnosed with autism (I suspect Asperger) and apparently a curious brainiac as well. Guess I've just found myself a new friend.. right next door 😋30 -
So today someone on my instagram feed posted a story of himself "deleting his facebook", "enough is enough"... Guess someone should tell him who owns ig 📷😂7
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Continuation of my post about my classmate who wanted to look "hacker" by dual booting his debian with windows but ended up partitioning his entired hard drive.
He got debian to work, he opened a terminal and asked me what should he type to get all the "Hacker Tools" *cinges into orbit*
Guess what i told him to type in... ;)
9 -
Trying to concentrate. Co-worker from another room standing there, BLA BLA BLA, and she's fucking LOUD. But she hates coldness, and it's below 0 °C outside.
So I open two windows, and guess who instantly leaves! Now it's cold, but SILENT. HAR HAR!6 -
Our teacher asked us to write an essay. Since I'm not a native English speaker, I asked him if I could write it in English (essays are easier in English). He was cinfused at first, but said:
-You can write it in any language!
Guess who has an html/css essay23 -
HP printer: *starts acting on its own*
*pulls plug*
NOW WHO FUCKING OWNS YOU, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT?!! WHO PAID COLD HARD FUCKING MONEY FOR YOU HUH, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT?!!!!
Don't you ever dare to do anything again, unless I fucking tell you to, fucking worthless piece of shit, that can't even do its printer jobs properly!!! WORTHLESS FUCKING PIECE OF JUNK!!!
Guess I'll leave it unplugged until I have a new print job for it at this point. Geez, can't even trust my fucking printer to do what it's supposed to anymore!!! Long live the world in Big Brother. Lest we forget that there exists such a thing as fucking ownership!!!14 -
This fucker has some balls (I'm being completely ignorant), the day his website goes live guess who is going to flood it with Dados attacks.
27 -
Boss refused to sing my termination latter saying he wont sign it until CTO returns from vacation (2-3 weeks)... So today i brought my freelance project to work and i work on it.. guess who is making more €/h today and doesnt have to pay for electricity11
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Pointy Haired Boss: "There's an issue with this simple bit of that service, could you take a look?"
Me: "Sure, give me a minute to investigate"
*A minute later*
Me: "No wonder there's a problem, this code is horrendous! What idiot wrote this unmaintainable crap?"
PHB: "Doesn't matter, just fix it, test it and release it."
Me: "I just want to check who did it, so they never touch our code again."
*Checks SVN log*
Me: "Well, I guess I can never touch our code again."2 -
Guess who just pushed a whole week's work straight into production without a single damn test and everything works fine?😎😎😎19
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One of my friend at college asked me why her computer is running slow even when she is running only chrome.
Me: how much memory does it have?
Her: 1TB.
Me (somewhat confused): no no I meant RAM.
Her: yeah yeah it's one TB. I read the specifications of the laptop.
Me: *in my mind, fucking read it again* please read it again. You must have misread it.
Her( grinning face ): alright.
Guess who didn't talk to me for a week. 😂14 -
Guess who just bought a 700$ drone.
Guess who just flew his brand new drone into a telephone cable
Guess who cant get parts until Tuesday at a minimum
ME!14 -
Coding nightmare -> the guy who wrote this application I guess wanted job security? At the VERY least to be a pain in the ass to anyone else who touches his code....WHO NAMES THEIR VARIABLES PEOPLE NAMES?!?!? do I know what "Beth" or "Sarah" stand for? ummmm....no 😢9
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Many years ago I had the glorious idea to name myself 'offset' on github.
Now guess who always gets a notification when someone mentions '@offset' in a commit?4 -
What the fuck, it says on both my LinkedIn profile and on my CV that I'm a student but I can take on part time projects, and I also told a recruiter the same thing over phone (after he found me on LinkedIn).
Today I had lunch with said recruiter. Guess who had no clue I was a student?
10 -
Coworker asking for my help on a crm framework I have never seen before. She was banging her head on the monitor by 1 hour. I read the stacktrace of the error (Java), and 30 seconds later I solved her problem.
Guess who is going laid tonight?
Not me, because she's engaged.6 -
Story from my friend who I drank a beer with yesterday:
His manager has balls bigger than elefants.. Hiring a group of anarcho kinda pentest / hacker fucks from a freelance portal from Serbia... Who found quite some shit in their internal systems.
You should think twice about paying them late and especially paying them only half the amount. Even though "they wouldn't sue them anyway".
Sure, they won't.
But take a smart guess what they did.
Fuckin idiot manager.6 -
Arglebargle.
I went to buy flowers for [redacted event] and gave the florist my CC info, number, and email for a receipt. He was a nice old man who loves what he does, and makes beautiful arrangements. But. He just emailed me all of my CC info, and asked what part of it was wrong. Twice. Emailed. Plain text. SMTP.
Guess who's requesting a replacement card?
😞13 -
When I'm coding, I often come up with some cool algos and when I do, I feel pretty good.
But the next second, I get this feeling that I know there are a million other people in the world who have solved the same problem with the same or better algorithm and I feel like shit. Like all the work I put in is somehow redundant.
Like finding answers on StackOverflow... When you do, you know the person who answered has already done it. You're just repeating it. But again, the fact that I'm looking for answers from other people in the first place is ....
I don't know. I guess I need to change the way I code from now on....3 -
Pet peeves as a programmer and ex hobbyist hacker:
1. People who press F12, change a colour and consider themself a hacker or/and programmer.
2. People who pick up someone's phone, guess their passcode and post shit saying 'hacked' at the end.
These people can kindly fuck off to the hellish dimension they came 👌10 -
"[In the future, there will be two types of people.] People who tell computers what to do, and people who are told by computers what to do." - Marc Andreessen
I guess we'll be the ones who tell the computers what to do.4 -
This could be an exponential rant generator.
Guess my colleague who leaves his PC without lockscreen will have SO MUCH FUCKISH FUN . . .
8 -
I am working on a project with a retard.
I am supposed to focus on the mobile apps but the backend guy doesn't know shit about REST.I spend more time teaching him how to serialize data into JSON and telling him not to store passwords as plaintext(He's now using md5 despite me telling him to use bcrypt) than developing the mobile apps am supposed to.
Guess who will be blamed for missing the deadline?
Yea, it's me.
Guess who will get the credits for the backend i am developing?
Yea, it's him.
Fuck!12 -
My favorite client just brought in a new team member who thinks he's god's gift to web development and design. Every week he gives me a long list of things he thinks are wrong with the website.
Now he's cloning pages of the site and adding hideously distorted images and excel screenshots of information matrices formatted the way he wants them. And he wants them published as he has made them because his ideas are obviously the best ones! (guess who he voted for)
He also claims that nobody can figure out how to purchase anything on the site, including him! Even after I've made it so you'd have to be frickin' Helen Keller not to be able to stumble over a BIG FAT BUY NOW BUTTON literally everywhere you look because this site is for geriatric senile MORONS who can't click their way out of a paper bag!!!5 -
React Training offering discounts to anyone who isn't a... I'll let you guess.
Just thought it was funny that they'd list all this criteria instead of opting for the easier "As long as you're not a straight white guy"
34 -
"Don't bother reading the docs, they're just technical crap"
Well guess who knows how the framework we're using works 🤔1 -
DEVS THAT MANUALLY UPDATE AUTOGENERATED CODE ARE THE WORST!!!!
Guess who has to clean up your mess? And be pinged about it later when another dev thinks they wrote the feature??
No, your hack wasn't cool.2 -
My 1 year old waddled her way to where I am sitting to my computer and gives me this. I start a new job this Monday and have been really nervous, I always get nervous when I start a new job. Guess who is going to be sitting with me at my office this monday? :)
7 -
Dude from old job who treated me like shit messaged me to implement 2 new features. I quit like half a year ago now. Ok i guess.6
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Guess who managed to assign the same IP to two devices and spent the last hour trying to figure out what was wrong 🙄6
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I don't understand people who watch football at all... Yesterday at around 4pm France time, France was playing against Denmark I think, so my boss had the brilliant idea of making some kind of party so everyone in the company would watch that. He brought beer, make up, food and so on.
Guess what, pretty much all my coworkers stopped working on their programming projects and went to watch it, I was the only one who stayed in my office and worked on my project, yeah, i'd rather finish my PHP project than watch a bunch of brainlets running after a ball.
Boss was nice enough to bring me a drink though lol14 -
Interviewer: I think you are too young for this job, blah blah, your age is too low, blah blah, this job requires elder people, blah blah
(...keeps repeating the same bullshit for literally half an hour...)
Interviewer: look, I have to leave in five minutes. Convince me that you are not too young for this job.5 -
Invited by a company who desperately needed me to fix their messed up code and the reception lady talks crap and threatens me.
:(
Guess who is not replying to their emails ever?4 -
OK, I've had enough of this bullshit!
Why the hell do some people pronounce 'Z' as 'C' !?!
FUCK THESE PEOPLE!
Now, you might ask yourself: "But how is this tech related?".
WELL... I was trying to get into a server and had someone spell the password for me; AND GUESS WHO MISSPELLED THE PASSWORD THREE FUCKING TIMES SO HE GOT LOCKED OUT OF THE FUCKING SERVER BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT!!!
FUCK . FUCK . FUCK . FUCK . FUCK!!!!!18 -
On the presentation for my database project my team and I showed a NodeJS + Mongo + VueJS project with cloud storage capability, nothing fancy but did everything from scratch (from token auth and system encryption to the frontend CSS and the database) the teacher made some questions and meh'd at it.
Behold team two's project, WordPress with a standard template and phpMyAdmin, teacher loves it because "it's so beautiful"
Guess who just failed that class?
God I love college, it's the best time investment I've ever done and it'll surely pay out.
12 -
Yesterday I changed my phone's battery. Now guess who stuck with broken loudspeaker phone..
Man, I miss the old day when you can pop that back cover and change the battery.3 -
Whenever you meet someone who tells you he also knows programming
Me: 'So you said you are in programming, too?'
X: 'Yeah, I know how to program websites..'
Me: '..so I guess PHP and stuff?'
X:'No, I program in HTML and some CCS'4 -
Google Insights updates their image score algorithm. Now all our website scores dropped from ~90 to 20 - 50. Guess who needs to resize all the freaking images. Fuck me.
3 -
We have a pretty simple rule in our team:
Do not deploy to production on Friday.
Well thanks to the client being very slow to reply to me, they only signed off on launching the app at 15:30 on Friday, for a big campaign the app was built to facilitate starting Saturday.
Guess who had to bite the bullet and launch a new app into production at 15:30 on Friday.
Guess who got a text from his boss at 19:30 that there was a critical change required tonight.
Guess who was making code changes and deploying to production at 21:15 on Friday night while drinking Gin and tonic...
Nb This was a project only i was assigned to and came in as a rush job at the last minute.9 -
I have noticed on here, there is a direct correlation between the number of swear words in a post and that posts ++ count. As a programmer who doesn't swear (I know, "just give it a few years" or "YOUR NOT A REAL PROGRAMMER!!" [side note, I also don't drink coffee]), I guess my ++ counter will only ever be allocated 1 byte...10
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A few days ago a friend of mine asked me to teach him to code. When I wanted to know which language he'd like to learn, he hesitantly replied "https".
Then I explained, this was a data transfer protocol. His next idea was "http". 🙄
Guess who will learn Python8 -
So I studied for a long time about scrum, convinced my boss, his boss and our team to consider it, everyone liked it but seems to don't understand it very well.
I organized meetings about it and everything...
This week the majority of our team will attend a Google event about scrum in another city.
Guess who is not going?11 -
Was searching how to embed youtube video in html and found this in w3schools..... The guy who wrote this turorial hates auto play i guess.... It really is annoying 😡
11 -
An ex of mine broke up with me when I changed my career path to programming. She said she wouldn't want to date with a programmer, I said 'ok bye'.
Guess who has a better career and dated with smarter, nicer, more funny and more attractive people since then 😎7 -
Currently rewriting a typescript app to ES5
You read that right, from typescript 2.9 to ES5, not ES6 or 7, just ES5
I guess the boss doesn’t like modern stuff
On the bright side, i contacted some recruiters today and there are already 2 companies who want me over for an interview11 -
Let's play a game called guess the devRanter. If you get this from a notification, then you're cheating. I'll say one word and you have to guess who I am before you open the rant.
Books.22 -
I asked our customer at least 10 times if they really REALLY want the feature this particular way, because it absolutely made no sense..
Guess who got a bug (!!) assigned today in which the feature should be changed like I told them..........7 -
I guess I'm not the only one who sometimes code in my dreams while sleeping. Maybe it's because working as a programmer is like a dream come true.4
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So our government is going to summon individuals who have invested in Bitcoin, suspecting they might be hiding 'Black Money' under the name of Bitcoin...
Guess the government20 -
GUESS WHO JUST BURNT OUT?
With 3 weeks to go to launch I've just been booked off for a week for chronic stress and exhaustion.
No laptop for a week.2 -
You're a programmer, why are you not rich? I guess we are a forum with people who are suppose to be rich huh?8
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So, the company I’m working for is finally merging with its sister company. That means budget for upgrading our infrastructure. And guess who volunteered to be in charge of it, and future sysops. That’s me.
Previously we haven’t had anything close to a sysops, and our servers has been neglected and never updated nor upgraded since 2012. We even had a Windows Server 2012 running with rdp wide open...2 -
Got a call from a recruiter today
Recruiter: I'm trying to fill a full stack position in Charlotte.
Me: not interested
R: why
M: I hate NC
R: what can I do to make you reconsider
M: I want 120k
R: Ok, well please pass this opportunity along if you know someone who is looking
I *actually* just moved from there.
Guess someone didn't read my job history.
Convo was seriously less than a minute.9 -
All employee meeting, tv has no volume.
Guess who gets passed the remote to figure out why there is no sound...1 -
auto.self.whatever.rant()
A few years ago, we had a lesson on git and stuff, and we had to create our first repository and push something on it to get familiar with the thing.
Our teacher jokingly said at the end "And always remember, no password in a repository!", and I thought to myself "who can be dumb enough to do actually do something like that?"
Now, guess which piece of shit had to reinstall two of his fucking servers because of security issues coming from not one but github repositories?4 -
Seems like even GitHub's CEO has now chimed in on the youtube-dl takedown! https://torrentfreak.com/riaas-yout...
A screenshot of him popping into the #youtube-dl IRC channel is posted here: https://twitter.com/t3rr4dice/...
So I guess this youtube-dl story may have a happy ending after all! Glad to have supported it and thanks to everyone who did the same :D12 -
Why the fuck do we set time based deadlines on projects/goals/sprints?
The only way to know accurately how long it would take is if you've done it before. And if you've done it before why are you coding it again?
And of course when these deadlines aren't met it's rarely the manager that gets shit; it's the devs who failed to meet a guess.47 -
today is one the worst day of 2018, after this
https://devrant.com/rants/1571445/...
I was looking through the websites which were made in the company last year, and while looking at a website I said: "this website is looking total shit, what the fuck is this".
Guess what, the guy who made the website was there and more worst he's my senior, I'm currently doing a project with him. He was not happy with this comment ( I thought the guy who made this left the company ). I totally fucked up.
Now I will search for another job. I can't bear this.4 -
Yay. I was yet again asked to make a whole module that is meant to compete with stuff companies have made who have funding of millions - without even a designer to help out. I'm the single frontend guy in the team.
"Let's make our website like that super beautiful website we saw that actually paid a designer, UI/UX guy, interaction designer and graphic guy. But let's not hire any of them. Who needs them anyway? Such a waste of money which their high fees"
I guess I'll just take "inspiration" from Pinterest/dribbble/behance1 -
I want to thank the Dell support guy who explained to me that I purchased an Alienware (no shit, I guess this explains how 3000$ disappeared from my bank account!).
Then he proceeded to explain to me that 1.5 hours battery life, for a 86Wh battery, when the only usage is browsing, is completely normal!
My dude, this bullshit ain't gonna fly with me.
32 -
Fuck I hate bloated app permissions but I guess todo lists that know who you most likely to chat to when taking a dump is what we get for demanding everything for free. I get why Snapchat wants so much, I just find it fucking ironic that this is from a company that founded itself on the concept of privacy 🤦♂️
7 -
Tiny little line of random JS code.
"No Comments in the code"
Me: I think this is not required, let me remove it.
"Deletes the line..."
*Entire App Breaks*
Me: OK, It must be important.
"Cmd + Z"
*Plot twist: The APP is still broken*
Guess who just needs to stay up late in office.1 -
My grandfather has two anti virus programs installed, but only wants one.
Guess who has to fix it...5 -
Spent about 3 hours arguing back and forth with a QA engineer on what a particular API call was *supposed* to do. It actually got a little heated and probably bothered me way more than it should have, but in the end he comes back with "well why don't we just ask the dev that wrote the code in the first place". Guess who that was?2
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[CMS of Doom™]
Gotta love the fact that the fuckers who originally "coded" this abomination of a CMS implemented a method which replaces some text before sending the HTML to the client.
Guess what fucks with my code?
6 -
Guess who got fucking fired. They want someone more experienced. Well fuck off. Its no wonder why there are no front end developers in your company. Now until the end of this month I have to find some job because of bills.. Going to try freelancer and check a couple of companies in my area. Any tips on how to get a freelance job?9
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!Dev
Okay so this is a very embarrassing story but I guess it's kinda funny so I thought I'd share it anyway.
I was playing a tabletennis game in VR and my opponent was a pretty chill guy who started blasting metal music. We were just casually vibing and then we started headbanging. Not a good idea with a VR headset on your head. There are two deep scratches right on my forehead now. Two perfect parallel lines.
I lost the game, and the smoothness of my forehead.
Okay kids, never headbang with a VR headset on, remember that.3 -
When you find out the app your team has inherited is making direct calls to the DB from the UI....but only sometimes, the previous team decided they would use a service for some other calls. Guess who gets to figure this all out?🤦♀️2
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As an interviewer, the toughest part is actually before the interviews, trying to convince recruiting teams that you are not looking for "anyone who works with computers".
Seriously, I've once heard a recruiter ask me "you want someone who knows the program language, right?", to what I answered "a couple, yes". The mouth breather looked at me astonished, askng "is there another?!?"
I'm not surprised that they shower me in piss-poor curriculums from anyone who had a Nintendo DS growing up.
Someone needs to come up with a way to hire more selective recruiters. But I guess we're back to square one when approaching this problem.
About being interviewed, the toughest part is when people do not know the salary that will be offered (usually those recruiter types) and evade the question as billionaires evade taxes.
I don't fucking care if your compensation "is so competitive it could have been an Olympian", I want to compare numbers. And if you do not have a number, I will assume the money is crap, period.10 -
A recruiter who claims in his signature "Certified in Sourcing Ninja Black-Belt in Internet Recruitment" [sic] offered me a Java Developer position. Guess what? I'm no Java Developer at all.4
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The sales team sold a project using our 'innovative framework', which had 'prebuilt components', which we 'only needed to plug n play' with a 10 week deadline. Of course, the framework didn't exist. Guess who was the lucky guy who had to create the framework AND finish the project in 10 weeks? fml...7
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So the company I'm interning in just got a project in WordPress from an old client. I'm their "WordPress backend guy" apparently coz I'm apparently the only one who seems to know WordPress. The site has multiple malwares and they want to redesign the thing too. Work starts on Monday and now DevRant algo is showing me a lot of WordPress rants. Guess good times are ahead.4
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!rant
For the second time in a row, one of our customers decided not to pay their server. The server, on which a lot of the work we did for them (online shop) was hosted. Shortly after completion, we specifically told them to backup their stuff on a daily basis, secure their server and regularly update it... Guess who did neither of those things, in addition to not paying their server after more than 5 reminders, and still complains about their shop being offline. Fucking idiots.2 -
Today I met the spaghetti man who wrote the code I work with.
Guess who's sharpening his knife (and d*ck)8 -
The person who I was closest to in the workplace is leaving and everyone else is a "professional employee" and they make "work safe jokes" that deserves "polite laughter" now everyone looses their shit if I let out the f word. I guess I will have my next free conversation with the goldfish.8
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I spent two days in a row fixing chairs at work because our whole dev team was waiting for issues (which means helping QA team and playtesters testing the whole game).
Just when everyone left and Im standing up to go as well a playtester comes up with a release breaking bug in the handwriting recognition code...
Since this game is build for a charity which will release it in a country at war we cant push the release date.
Guess who is making overtime trying to fix this bug?3 -
Gosh, where went my social life? XD
That's already more than a month that I moved to Nice. I'm working a bit too much I guess. You know, I'm the kind of guy who is gonna rebuild the entire software architecture on his free time because it's crap x)
Anyway Nice is quite relaxing I like this place. And if someone is around and see my face, come and say hi :P
5 -
The personal trainers in the fitness that I go to are graduated programmers(.net, javascript, sql...).
During rest I can talk about something I love to people who understand me, guess I am lucky. 🍀2 -
Because of networking, arch is harder to install on vbox.
guess who wiped and GREW his old antergos partition?
wish me luck in the arch install
6 -
This belongs to the small bunch of things that makes me feel that life is beautiful.
For a pretty long time, I wanted to learn Haskell, and recently I really fell in love with the category theory. Now how exciting is that when you found that you can learn them both?
I just started it, and I guess it's a pleasure for any programmer who doesn't whine about math. It's free to read:
https://bartoszmilewski.com/2014/...
Or to build 😉
https://github.com/hmemcpy/...
4 -
The only events around me seem to be strictly for women and "diverse" people... Whatever the fuck that means. I guess fuck who I am as a person, right?20
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I have a new boss who was hired today. Well, I guess he's supposed to be a 2nd in command to my current supervisor, but I still have to report to him too I guess.
This dude is a high-sodium seasoned dev, and the kind who thinks anyone who's been in the industry less than 15 years should be at best a test engineer or thrown into the 7th ring of Customer Support.
Ugh. I'm now out of gin, which was my backup to my scotch. And this prick expects me to have a PR ready for him to review on a whole new application I've been working on for the last 2 weeks by midday tomorrow. And today was his first day.5 -
Guess who implemented a whole new feature in 3.5 lines of code and a simple CSS class.
This awesome guy.
Take that, frameworks.6 -
So, yet another "senior" web developer employed by my contractor who utterly fails to understand CORS.
I mean, easy enough to config their servers to provide the headers. A good and quick buck.
But I swear the level of idiocy I find in so called "seniors" infuriates me. I swear, he didn't even figure out that
A) you can't make the browser omit the Origin header.
(But it works on curl 😭😭😭)
B) it's the *server* who must include access-control-allow-origin in the response, not you in the request. Like, what use would that be? I don't even...
😞
I guess if I ever need to hire web devs again my only question during the interview will be "explain CORS to me".8 -
Any devrant-ers at the Kansas City Developer's Conference (kcdc) right now? Right now = July 12th & 13th, 2018.
If you see me, I'm that guy who just grabbed a handful of life saver mints at the vendor booth. Yea...*that* guy.
Rant? Only thing so far is the heat (air conditioning can't keep up with the outside) and breakfast (see attached). I guess some people call that breakfast, but I suppose its better than nothing.
-
Providing a web site to pay electricity and other services, but guess what? THE CONNECTION IS NOT SeCuRe !! (What can possibly can go wRoNg).
This retarded country have a lot of skilled people, but the dinosaurs who in charge are literally afraid of new technology.
Wake up bitches, it's almost 2020 -
I have a mate who downloaded encryption software that he somehow managed to use to encrypt almost every system file in windows, now the entire thing is fucked, like how can anyone be that stupid? Like before he even did that he tried encrypting the .exe of the encryption software and guess how that went6
-
I'm just around 8kg away from officially becoming overweight.
As someone who had trouble gaining weight most of my life, this is very exciting!
Gotta get back to exercising soon. But I'm not a gym person. I guess I'll go for run or cycling along with workouts at home.11 -
Guess who just taught his wife how to commit, push, some command lines, and how to exit vim?
Also, I had to teach her over FB messenger.4 -
Oh dear people,
Congrats for going nuts @-red -style!
You have hit the cap! @Cup0coffee!
At first I thought I didn't know what to say, but here have a modified citation:
"Friendship is _C_are.
Do you know what I'm saying to you?
Friendship is rare." [2001 - by guess who]
9 -
Finally my employer managed to pay for the upgrade license to have 80 instead of 40 seats in our CI tool. Took only 4 months. Guess who is currently using 110 seats. 😓2
-
My manager has explained in detail to me how to fix the problem I'm having. I know how to fix the problem. I just don't have permission on our servers to change the settings I need to.
Guess who does?2 -
Oh, I did it again!
Everytime I think I will write proper standard code with full documentation, but well, guess who didn't write documentation... And now forgot how his own code works.4 -
I don't get why we need videos to auto play on some websites.
I was in class today browsing the news, clicked on an article and forgot my laptop speaker volume was still at max. Guess what happened? Autoplay. Not even the video from the article but AN AD, for a moment the prof. paused and everyone looked around, but I quickly hit the mute button so it did not last too long.
Who ever thought autoplay (WITH ADS) was a good idea?6 -
Bind learning c++ chapter 2
Did the guy who made this language know how assembly works or did he just guess along the way?3 -
Guess who just read content off a site out of browser dev tools because the page displayed an intrusive 'whitelist us from your adblocker' modal5
-
Guess who forced unwrapped Nullable value after making sure it was null... Yup that was me
(ಥ,_｣ಥ)
(ノಥ,_｣ಥ)ノ彡┻━┻4 -
We have a client who calls us right after sending an email in order to inform us that she sent an email. Guess she doesn't know anything about notifications!5
-
Archlinux.org went down just now for probably not only me. Guess who was in the middle of setting up his system again3
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If there is anything I hate in life more than XCode is not organizing work!
A feature done few months ago on mobile, tested, passed QA and now it is not working! Why? Because API got screwed!! Why? Because someone is changing the core of the system without notifying anyone!!
Both API and that feature were not touched in months and suddenly stopped working and guess who is blamed, damn right me and the API dev when non of us even made a change -.-3 -
lol. i wanted to make a computer game with two friends...
at first the tasks were clear.
f1: coding
f2: drawings
me: coding + sound
now guess, who now has to participate in all three areas.9 -
Yeah these fucking assholes lost a 300 pound gaming chair at my local depot for 3 weeks where I eventually got a refund from Amazon. I ordered a USB desk fan for the heat off ebay, yeah these fucking cunts delivered it to my workplace at 9pm.
Guess who is building my companies new ecommerce platform, where I am currently integrating the shipping options. Fuck off Yodel.7 -
ah this fucking sucks my boss, who is also the guy developing back end for our mobile app which im developing, isnt working on the back end makes me guess the fucking json strings that hes going to send and buils the front end, then later changes the fucking json structure completely and expects my app to work without any problems, how do you teach these fucking php developers the importance and significance of data types and data structures4
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In the Netherlands most trains have a wifi network called WiFi in the train, it's rather slow so I always use my hotspot
Guess who decided to name their hotspot 'Internet Cable in the train' 😛7 -
Guess who is amazed at how fast his "I'm not gonna spend my time rooting my brand new android flagship and fiddling around with AOSP ROMs" goodwill goes in the trashcan?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Me.4 -
Yes, thank you motherfucker. Please change the fucking specification again one fucking day before the deadline.
These project managers and clients are like little children who can't decide whether they want a lego set or a video game for christmas except little children don't blame santa for their own stupidity.
Guess what? I'm not santa fucking claus and can't do miracles in one day. It's on you little project manager children if we miss this deadline.1 -
Yay! Finnaly got to 10 Incréments, i can get a sexy new avatar ! And guess who was the dude who gave it to me :)
2 -
Today in the land of cactii.
A broken update, a sever that dies for unknown reasons violently, an HAPRoxy bug which fix uncovered another bug in an application which needed another bugfix, an meeting at 12 where I was already drinking beer, yet another dev who doesn't know how to solve problems on their own...
Nah. It's fine. I guess my next vacation will be to the looney bin.
The thought of pure uninterrupted quietness gives me a raging hardon.1 -
Senior tech rolls out updates last night... Breaks a whole heap of shit, guess who gets to fix them :|4
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I'm getting to the point where every time I encounter a new bug to fix I die a little inside. So tired of stuff not working and as soon as I get one thing fixed another blows up. Unresolved problems and open loops keep me awake all night. I sometimes want to switch careers but what else is there for me after more than 2 decades of this? I guess I could flip burgers and mow lawns. The burger flippers make about what I made in my last job and the guy who mows my lawn makes twice that much.4
-
So,
Yesterday was Google CodeJam's Kickstart event ( or something like that ).
Participated in competitive programming for the first time. It was kinda fun I guess...
Nope I still hate competitive programming. I like being a laid back programmer who develops in his own pace.
I know it's not what industry wants but I can't jst go for competitive programming.
On the positive note, I started using goto in C++ because of it and created a better Graph library than I had before 🤗🤗
P.S. I did read on how to use goto and when to not use it. I guess my usage was fine... Or better yet, IT WORKED 😜😂
Well, I am done as far as competitive programming goes... 😭😭 -
my phone based set up. guess who provisions all the phones to our platform. then tests 9 million phones and takes the flack when users press incorrect keys or their internet goes down on site and it 'must be a provisioning issue'......this asshole.
1 -
It's 11 pm / 23:00 Uhr. I knew that i need to give a presentation tomorrow since like a month.
But guess who started working on this presentation a few hours ago and is not nearly at the end ( well my nerves are)
YOU GUESSED IT: ME🤡
OH AND MAYBE I'M STILL PROCRASTINATING EVEN THOUGH I WANT SOME SLEEP9 -
Who decides the question of the week? its 100 weeks of devrant i guess, this monday.
@dfox Should have a party and poll on it3 -
A coworker asked me about a specific tool because he "had heard" that I had some experience with it, whether that tool would allow a certain use case, and whether there was some documentation.
Wait, in which project was that? None of mine anyway, hmmm... ah that one, from a few years ago. Who wrote the reports back then? Can you guess?
THAT MODDAFOKKA!1 -
I invested in a brand new 27" curved monitor to work more efficiently with my laptop but now
HDMI isn't recognized by my linux distro on dual boot where it works perfectly with fucking windows and it used to work nice before the latest update
Tried to install official nvidia drivers to try to fix that
🙃 Guess who has a fucked up X configuration now 🙋🏾♂️3 -
I just remembered... when I first read this guess who I was thinking off?
http://webtoons.com/en/comedy/...
4 -
Y'all Vim (anti)fanboyz be like "ha! try to exit Vim!"
And then there's me, Emacs fanboy... my first shortcut was to undo a change - Ctrl+Z. Guess who looked at the monitor like if he got a wet slap?
Note: it minimizes the window and I blinked right in that while. -
Ahh, Unity’s “Wheel Joint.” Who knew it had “polarity.” I spent good several f*<king hours debugging this $h!+ just to find out I just placed them backwards on a 2-D car. Instead of the joint turning the wheels, they were trying to “turn the chassis.”
This meant the chassis received an impossible force which would rip it in half in real life. Of course, this was a unity game, so what happened instead was the physics engine flipping out which sent the car into the air!
I guess it was good for some lulz, but it took way too long to debug. I guess it’s time to take a little time off of that project.4 -
So i got myself a TeamTreeHouse subscription last month to learn python. But I guess I'll have to discontinue.
My laptop can't take it anymore. I'll have to wait until I buy a new one 😅
I have to choose between paying for sister's education loan or my laptop. Guess who is in not getting a laptop 🙂12 -
the only thing that held me in my current job was my boss. verry supportive and helpful type. best boss so far.
but now he just quit 😑
guess who looks for a job ... -
I am a lurker, who has seen the light, and come to bask in it's warmth.
This is my first day of college and I'm ready to start learning... oh, no CS classes in my schedule for another semester... I guess I'll wait then3 -
Waiting for an interviewee since over half an hour.
20 minutes ago he called from a local undertaker searching us... From there it is a 5 minute walk to our company.
I guess we don't hire someone who cannot use Google Maps to determine the location of a company...15 -
So hanging out with my in-laws tonight. It apparently is super bowl Sunday. I don't know a damn thing about football and could care less about it.
Them: who do you think is going to win?
Me: I guess the better team?
Them: yes but who are you rooting for?
Me: don't know who's playing?
Ahhhhhhhggg I can't stand sports people.
And there they are yelling at a TV like someone on the other side will actually hear them.
Does anyone else have a similar situation?15 -
The company that I work for just opted for PHP in favor of Elixir, Node and Scala(Akka really) for building a high-concurrency system, because we have more people who work with PHP (mediocre skill really). How do we convince our team leads and higher-order beings by the hierarchy to try newer (or at least better suited) technologies? Good luck popening and pthreading stuff on this project I guess.11
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so they are really out there...
people who beleive C# is just the one source of truth and all other languages are just garbage
🤡
sad to be so ignorant - though i guess ignorance is bliss
to be clear: I use C# like anyone else, but it's just a tool in the toolkit, that's all11 -
Anyone know a good android keyboard for people who don't want any autocorrect?
Gboard has an empty top row wasting screen space if you disable suggestions. AnySoftKeyboard seems pretty slow. At the moment I'm using Chrooma, but its backspace has really annoying bugs.
What I'd really love would be a keyboard with macro functionality and where you could configure your own layout. But I guess that doesn't exist :/16 -
Just wanted to start a personal project and guess who think it's the best time to update right now?
THANK YOU WINDOWS 😥
Maybe tomorrow7 -
I guess I'll post my first rant, rant.
(Aka rant that wasn't a pun)
The Ipads our school use all have the same code, 0000. Even though about all the features are blocked... They never blocked the ability to change the pass code. No one would know who did it, and there would be 9999 possible choices for the new IPad. Who ever though it was a good idea to let highschoolers (12-18 year old) find this out.2 -
I came into work with a skip in my step and was actually feeling positive for once.
That all came crashing down when a guy I despise who has half the experience I do and even less seniority than I do got promoted above me before I did.
This guy is a talentless, boring, irritating hack who rides the success of others and does everything to glorify his ego. He shits on everything he doesn’t like and no one likes him. I guess that’s why he’s on the fast track to management.
I asked why I haven’t been promoted yet, despite being the technical guru on the team and having professional accomplishments that make his look silly in comparison. Their reason “well he comes in earlier than you”. Well guess what fuckers. I still get my work done and I stay later. Seriously, fuck this place.
This guy also worked with me on a past project. I use “worked” loosely because he did nothing but sit there and criticize everything while doing minimal code. When the company we were doing the work for folded he demanded to be paid his full portion, and I got jack shit despite having done all of the fucking work.
This guy...seriously...why do people who do fucking nothing get the glory? Why do I even fucking try?9 -
Continued rant of : https://devrant.com/rants/1152021
Ok, I am using this program again, this time with 43 programs (i guess), and it saves me at least 30 minutes.
Some were interested how I made it, well, another person (who is not in devrant) helped me (and he is not from stackoverflow) make it.
You can see how it works (the frontend) by looking at the image below.
I am afraid that I can't release the source now, and maybe not soon because of personal reasons.
Back to the point, I found a massive bug there, you can see "Finding uninstaller" in the middle of the two, and I can't fix it, so I shall just leave it alone.
It is Saturday now or Sunday I guess, take a good rest, and get back to work in Monday! (or school for students)
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I guess this is not necessarily a dev question but ...
To those who had a burnout / depression how did you manage to pull through ? How long was the process for you ?9 -
I don't know who was the fucking moron who decided how much detail should go in the classic "Segmentation fault (core dumped)" message, but they should be kidnapped and tortured. And no one should tell them why they're getting kidnapped and tortured. Just let the fucker guess.3
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Udemy got call out for stealing YouTuber's contents again. Last time was Tory, the guy in charge Australia Microsoft security. (Guess they picked the wrong target)
This time is Chris, who makes some awesome free YouTube Python tutorials.
https://dailydot.com/upstream/...5 -
Why do most web sites have so bright design? Aaarghgh, my eyes!
Anyone who dislike screeching default color themes? Black, red, blue, on full white?
Then I guess your editor and terminal are on low contrast light grey on dark grey, or something like that, right? Maybe even your window manager?
If your setup looks like this and the web is what hurts your eyes, try Dark Reader for Chrome or Firefox. I've tried several such plug-ins in the past, but this one is amazing.
(not affiliated)6 -
Guess who was studying on his laptop and also had a near deadline about an university project and now admire this fab burnt monitor flat.
(About a week ago i also reiceveid and sticked devrant's sticker to it)
6 -
Dev, boss and guy who know logic is looking at the server.
Problem: it's not responding
Boss: we need this running now! Otherwise the sales won't go through
Dev: give me a chance, I just got here
Guy: have you tried turning it off and on again?
They did so and at works.
Boss: guess we don't need to hire another dev, this guy knows what he is talking about, he is some kind of server expert..
Really.........1 -
Do you know how to spoil my weekend? Interview me on Friday afternoon for my dream position and tell me that "you'll let me know Monday latest".
Guess who couldn't mentally switch off over the weekend?4 -
Tomorrow, my team will receive TV reporters for an economy magazine.
We'll have to fake a meeting and the Marketing Officer insisted that everyone has to be present.
I wanted to do teleworking on that day because of the huge strike of the public transports.
Guess who will wake up at 5:45 tomorrow morning?2 -
Am i the only one who can't use the Windows command prompt after i recently learned how to use the Linux terminal?
Heck. I can't even navigate properly in the cmd prompt and when a command fails i forget i use Windows and puts 'sudo' before the command even though it's godamn Windows.
Guess i have gotten too used to Linux.3 -
!dev
So that new keyboard I bought? They sent me a French azerty instead of a Belgian azerty layout. Meaning the special keys are in the wrong places.
It's from a third party vendor. Here was me thinking I was getting a good deal on a second hand product in a box that had been opened but returned. Think I can guess why that happened.
I contacted support who will contact the third party but I have a bad feeling about this already. Both the third party and website where I ordered this are Dutch and they are used to Qwerty. Guess I should have bought on a Belgian website at full price :(5 -
Guess who got a huge interest in Python this morning. I feel excited to start learning it and do some awesome shit! I need a small break from front end development so I'll try to make some simulators or something with python.. Dunno..1
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Spilled coffee on my keyboard 3rd time this week.. guess who don't want to work and need a vacation1
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Anyone who formats their code manually is a fuck there I said it.
Also stop using a tool that has no contextual understanding of your code. You're wasting more so much fucking time trying to guess shit that an ide would automatically know and doing stuff that an ide would automatically do.4 -
receive multi year old confused bug/feature request from a former CEO
why
are there not other people who can immediately answer the questions instead of playing broken telephone when it arrives to me, to go find them
do you not have better things to do with your time and other directional priorities for the company or should i really muck around this low priority thing?
i guess i just lack the CEO M I N D S E T, also the compensation package1 -
We have all experienced inheriting a project and crying because of quality of coding. Somehow the project works but you can't explain how.
I guess I will not blame the previous developer. I guess in most cases it's the teacher who teaches that horrible method of coding.
I may be a self taught developer. But I can gladly say that I know how to code. However I can't say the same about my professor. Who makes you add percentage based margins and paddings (CSS) And make a fluid layout calling it responsive.
Fuck you Professor.1 -
It's been 3 busy weeks. Had so much to rant about, but I could lurk at best.
We had 2 big features coming to 2 different projects. I told my boss it's take 3 weeks for the one I was working on. The guy working on the other one, said he only needed 1 for his. Guess who got labeled as negative, worrying too much over nothing, and so forth? Especially since a "much more complex" feature would take just 1 week!
Whatever. Fast forward to this week. I was done by tuesday, including testing of both features and deployment. By wednesday, I had even a good looking documentation. Everything was ready. EXCEPT. The 2 features have to go live together, due to various reasons. Guess who ia still a ling way from completing his task? Gueas who asked to postpone his deadline by 2 weeks? Guess who's gonna have to work on weekends for no extra pay?
Guess what? I know how to give an eatimate, and I rather be "negative" and schedule 1 or 2 extra days to be prepared for hiccups and what not rather than having to waste my free time for nothing.
FFS. -
can anyone guess who said the following?
"Titanium allows us to launch new features really quickly and have an immediate impact. For example, we added an avatar builder with millions of configuration options, yet it only required a few lines of code to be different between iOS and Android."8 -
You know what really boils my piss?
Clients who email in all caps.
"URGENT HELP, CAN'T RECEIVE EMAILS"
Followed by two lines of bitching about how this keeps happening and they'll move elsewhere if it's not fixed asap at 11pm.
WELL GUESS WHAT?
YOU MOVED YOUR EMAILS AWAY ALREADY! -
1am and I'm waiting for my zipped project to finish uploading to OneDrive, so I can send my prof a link to it, because our fucking intranet just gloriously shat itself again -_-... Because a GitHub link is too mainstream I guess?
Ah yeah, deadline was 1h ago, but who cares about deadlines right?... -
Incredible that these companies with literally no product, and barely a website (if any) come around offering 100K+ jobs
They have funding out of their ass but literally NO real-world value... it's amazing to me.
Guess it really is not what you can do but who you know.1 -
This is how it works in my company:
-> Spend entire day in meetings - don’t get anything done.
-> Start working at 6pm if you want to get anything done.
Those who have gotten promotions are the ones that have bought into this system.
I guess I won’t be getting a promotion any time soon7 -
Well at least he added the time....
My Drafts section is looking pretty nice now huh? :)
@dfox is the # of hours between posts now dynamic as well?
And perhaps its time to think about getting outside funding and help. Seems growth is now exponential? and I'm kind of feeling this is like the Facebook/Twitter for Developers.... but prolly not sustainable with just 2 devs who are also footing the bill.
In startup speak I guess validation is over and you have won!
2 -
Guess who just spent the entire day before launch debugging why compose doesn't work on an ec2 instance where I DIDN"T INSTALL FUCKING DOCKER
I guess this is the key difference between me and seniors. Seniors know where to look where shit breaks because they have been breaking it for at least 5 years.7 -
Whatever the f is wrong with numpy devs!!!!
Like seriously bro....
I can't import the effing sklearn.decomposition to do some basic PCA and the best solution out there is to downgrade it to version 1.16.1. Like hell!!!!
Issue has been known since last year, but guess who cares effukers8 -
as someone who never worked in an office, or in a team, new term for me:
cowboying
I can guess what it means, but..
please, share... and elaborate
is this a new term?
I don't get to hear much office gossip... :)3 -
This shitty indian development companies should fucking go to hell. So there is a client who approaches me so that I can add new integrations to their web store/platform but the guys who development it wouldn't let me access the backend in any way!!!
Guess I am so mad that I can't even rant well.
But fuck you cheap indian development companies!!!!!!7 -
I am currently writing a software product for NHS patients and one of my tables was named 'condition'... guess who lost 2 hours of debugging...5
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Visited a friend at their new workplace. Awesome office, really cool interior, nice people, devs are working on cool projects. Started to feel pretty envious.
Then we felt a rumble. Well, it was more like a rrrrruummbbble. Turns out they are located right next to a train track and the whole building shakes a bit when a heavy freight train goes by.
Guess who isn't envious anymore.1 -
Just showing off the devRant stressball...
I don't have an actual rubber-ducky, but I have a whole gaggle of rubber-ducky-stand-ins who help me debug.
Most of them happen to be skulls. (I have quite a few more scattered around the office). I guess it's an aesthetic... #skullsthetic?
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New management asked us to do an impossible task at work. Launching a campaign with no planning and destined for an absolute disaster. Being me and how I never approved of the new management, I blew up. Guess they will either start paying me better or kick me out.
P.s. they can't function without me. At all. Literally. Impossible. Becayse I am the only one who bothered to join their team. They begged me. Because they know they're useless. And after 25 years. Their ship is literally gonna sink within a year if I leave.4 -
Was trying to pull an all nighter to meet a deadline and I accidentally fell asleep. I was also texting a new person I liked at the same time.
Dreamt I got so much work done and was still texting and got into an argument.
Woke up, but by the time I realized what happened and that I slept off I had already randomly texted something aggressive and insulted 😭
So yeah. Guess who got no work done and is probably gonna be single for life 😂 -
grrrrrr developers that think their math is superior because they think it is superior. im so sick of devs who cannot second guess themselves until proved otherwise. you might be wrong you know.....1
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guess who is working on a 10+ GB hg repository using sourcetree on a macbook air
hint: I DO
pull, update lasts so long, there are new changesets to pull (hours, i kid you not)2 -
Last week, my project manager said that next Wednesday (today), we should have a meeting in person... Take a guess who is working from home3
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spent two weeks fixing a solution for designer who constantly changes his mind...
manager takes one look at it and says it's too complicated and proceeds to change it to something simple which completely ignores all of designers specifications...
designer no longer cares about his specifications...
I guess this means I shouldn't care about specifications...
yea right... -
I guess I'm the only one on here who doesn't have devRant stickers...*goes to place my order*....along with a devRant shirt.7
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Ever experienced that moment when you spend hours debugging a complex issue, only to realize it was caused by a single missing semicolon? It's like searching for a needle in a haystack, only to find out the needle was hiding in plain sight! I guess we should add 'semicolon detective' to our resumes. Who knew such a tiny character could wreak such havoc? Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of the semicolon and the bittersweet triumph of finding it missing!4
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!rant I'm lucky to work with 2 of the best back-enders in my career. We were royally pushed/screwed over today due to PM's last minute demands for a phone app that they were demoing to 1000's at a conference. Guess what, certain elements broke. But the guys jumped in to get the API fixed. It's a bit much being the only phone dev on the team but with such strong backend support, it makes it a pleasure to come into work. You know who you guys are. Thank you. Remember a little support makes all the difference in the workplace.4
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I've said this before, but i always get the spot I'm hoping for. there was one time i got rejected though.
i met a colleague during the interview process, and really thought he was getting that spot, he was much more qualified than the other participants. there was about another 4, out of which 3 still looked like good competition. the 4th one got there late, couldn't form a coherent sentence to save his life and had no job experience.
guess who they picked :v5 -
y'all hear those stories about people who are blind and go into computer science and programming classes because they wanna make games
i'm in a digital entertainment class geared towards game development because i wanted to code bUt gUeSs wHat1 -
Here is what I don't understand about elementaryOS: it's supposed to be targeted at users who aren't tech savvy. But in order to perform any major upgrades you need to reinstall the entire operating system.
Cool throwback to 2005, I guess.2 -
I need to finish a project where the boss is a nice woman (maybe 55 years old), and her assistant (30-35 years old). Guess who is always asking about any single button? Who is always saying "But that label is ugly", "I don't understand that", "Maybe we need some new features..." Yeah, the assistant. She hates us and we hate her1
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Only two people in my department and I am not the boss. Guess who gets stuck with quality assurance.1
-
So.
a few good old firends of mine wish to learn some coding to make a simple game. Probably for lolz, I do not think that they´re up to anything _too_ serious. Guess who they contacted for mentoring...
They´re up for boot camp, I say. -
Sad story , i guess im not the only one.
I have literally no friends who like to code or who seem to like but are lazy. Nothing
Is boring to work on personal projects or school projects like this :/
But today found out that theres only one in my school who does this, he is not that much into it but when he asked me what languages i use, also if i use php ...
I was happy inside to know that im not the only one in my school :D
That's all! Is here anyone or was in this situation , having no friends who like to code 🤔1 -
But why would you call it that? Who thought it was a good idea that it starts with XCUIE?
Well I guess at least I don't have to write UI tests in Obj-C.
3 -
Who thought this was a good idea
oh well if they couldn't care to initialize the variable I GUESS WE'LL MAKE IT RANDOM
There is probably a reason for it... somewhere
4 -
Am I the only one who will spend half an hour reading through the "top all-time rants" section of devRant to figure out why they're so popular? I just can't shake that feeling that there's some sort of pattern there that I can optimize...
Guess I must be a developer, given that last statement :D4 -
Fuck you WooCommerce and fuck you shopify, also a big fuck you to every developer who thinks it's a good idea to notify other customers about what another customer just bought in real time.
Guess fucking what. I don't fucking care what uncle deadinthehead just bought. Get fucking raped in a columbian prison and die to aids infested rain..2 -
My JIRA fanatic manager: log whatever you do during the day, even the smallest things are important. and you have all the material needed for next day's standup meet.
me, on a particular tuesday:
had lunch
peed thrice
bitched about an unreasonable bug raised by the testing team
listened to Rihanna's song Diamonds
had four mugs of coffee
, among various other things.
next day.
manager: so, ssup?
me: eh, didn't do much yesterday. was one of those down days I guess.
Guess who was asked to write "didn't do much yesterday" on all the JIRA tickets assigned to him? -
Since last update (version 63) Google chrome forces all *.dev domains to use https. Guess who used a *.dev domain for his local development virtual machine and now have to switch to *.local ...
Removing the HSTS Rule from chrome seems not to be possible and surprisingly I could not use a self signed SSL certificate to make it working again.3 -
Updated to pop_os 19.04
Xorg stuck on a login loop.
Checked the basics, still failed.
Guess who has a fresh Pop_os 19.04 install?7 -
For those who f**k with PHP language, this is a required reading article from Slack about their decision to develop on PHP
(I guess that you guys could copy/paste this URL)
https://slack.engineering/taking-ph...2 -
Ok, im hired here as a frontender. Formally the designer did a bit of it. The site is shit. I want to fix everything about it basically. But, the thing is that we are working according to gitflow so someone has to check my code. But backend is like: thats frontend. And the designer is too busy and just wants to see the pixels. So who is check my PR’s now? Guess i’ll do it eventually... it’s going to test first anyway3
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!rant
I'm really excited with the 2018 World Championship, and I guess I'll leave work earlier to watch the games live.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
What do you think, who will win? Carlsen or Caruana?2 -
Guess who is running teo projects at the same time. F’d up planning over here. Seriously i’m bothered by 5 people at the same time. How the heck am i supposed to work like this?
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I guess it's my third or the fourth company that am currently changing.
I have the will to improve and write better code quality level up. But sometimes i guess i have the lack to find the how to do these stuff and how to practice and who is going to tell me that i have to change these lines of code so you can improve am just in a big mess and i feel so bad about it.
Now i had just received a new warning at my current company that i either improve or i get fired. So i have been searching over google and internet how to improve as well i had just created a new project for the will to practice and become better.
Can someone tell me what i should do?
How to fix everything and let my colleagues gain my trust in my code commits ?
Because literally i feel so bad about everything and you can't imagine how miserable i feel.3 -
Decided to participate in @Michelle' s game, so like only one word to guess who I am
iMproved
Just changed of username, so made it easy4 -
I am used as a complexity proxy by my team. I foresee many problems and they do not seem to listen to my advices. And guess who will be blamed if something doesn't work, haha, kill me :)1
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!dev
Again I get confirmation that my trust issues are justified.
In the end, 99% of people just watch their own ass even if they could easily make it easier for others who didn’t do anything wrong. All they’d have to do is caring about them.
I guess especially younger generations only care for their parents, wives and kids. Everyone else is just a means to an end.
It reminds me of the reason why I spend most of my time alone at home in front of my computer.8 -
I have this database systems professor who cannot for the life of her teach this class. She goes on random tangents about anything and everything. She asks weird trick questions and gets mad when we don't get them right. She is just very unorganized in general. Her lectures just feel like one long run on sentence. So I guess to make a long story short, anybody have any good resources when it comes to learning about databases?8
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Everybody is bussy!
So let's going to give this mess to the one who never worked with mongo, does not know the objects in the DDBB, add to it some weird way to build queries in java to it and hope for everithing end well!
End well = need to be done today.
Guess what? Not for today! I have no clue of how to clean this shit.1 -
Zoom just won't die off.
I guess next we will have a vsCode plug-in for zoom meetings, who needs to seperate their code from their endless meetings these days anyway?
https://blog.zoom.us/bring-industry...4 -
Using API to get todays weather.
The value i get is 293.some other decimals.
Well, i guess i have to manipulate that float.
Converting it to string, moving the dot and convert it again to float so i can have the number in a form i need it, which is 29.decimals.
Hm...
Re reading the docs, and i find out the value is in Kelvin.
FUCKIN KELVIN
WHO THE FUCK USES KELVIN3 -
It's kind of depressing looking at how bad the source code has transformed from a previous project that I had planned, designed, and did the initial implementation.
But I guess this is the problem of having developers who don't really care about the quality of their work, especially when it comes to PHP. -
Who of you actually like the product you work on or the company you work for? today I knew I do when a company I had applied for 7 months ago called me (fashionably late i guess) and i politely said Im happy in my current job and am not interested anymore.5
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So I wanted to use aws-localstack and it's ok I guess. Except who built these docker containers? Ever heard of SRP? A single-monolithic container with all services inside, glued together with python and makefiles, using non-standard ports, and on top of that it's hard to configure.
Who wrote this garbage? Atlassian. Oh. That makes perfect sense.
Fuck this, I'm gonna write my own localstack. What do you guys think of this?
http://github.com/christhomas/...2 -
Fucking Comodo certificate authority expired on saturday....guess who is enjoying monday morning. Fuck!
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#define someError ( -1)
int func(params *param)
{
//some code
if(condition)
{
someError ;
}
}
Spent like half and hour on debugger thinking why the fuck does it skip my statement. My manager who was passing by saw me puzzled and asked if he could help, so we spent another 10 minutes without success(tho my manager is technical guy but he had an unlucky moment I guess). Eventually senior manager saw our wtf faces and asked what is going on, it took one question for me to light the bulb "someError is a macro right?"
I guess you can imagine my embarrassment at that moment..
PS: Forgot return keyword before the error code. -
So i'm workin on a wrapper for an api, and it has authenticated endpoints. My request function has a check to see if the user has a token before making the authed request, but guess who forgot to actually mark like 20-40 different methods as authed : D2
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Setting up a new docker environment for developing, its my first experience with it...
Guess who drew the lucky number to do the experiment...
Anyhow... Progress is slow, cause the sys admin refuses to cooperate, feeling threatened by the thought of us devs being able to do more ourselves...
Not to mention, our servers currently are a mess, there's no common ground, it's a mix of whatever was needed at the time, no documentation at all...
This is making the whole dockerizing process so damn painfull1 -
In my university there was a programming teacher who taught the basics "algorithms and data structures". This was the first subject about programming ever.
He mostly just showed us the idea behind each and sometimes showed a slide of an algorithm or data structure in C. He was also supposed to carry out lab classes where he would teach us the basics of C.
Guess what?
He thought that programming could not be taught in class but only self learned... so he didn't do a single computer lab class the entire year. The rate of students who passed his subject the first time was low. We ended up talking to the dean and the teacher was given an assistant for the lab classes the next year. Fun right?1 -
Wow companies can be so inconsiderate when interviewing candidates. They’ve scheduled me for interviews at a days notice, and when I can’t make the interview they blame it on me!! Like who tf do they think they are!?! They hold all the power I guess. Ughh so frustrated with their interview process. This is the first time I have told an interviewer that I don’t think the company is a good fit for me, thanked them for their time and left. I’ve got bigger fish to fry.4
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I want to make a Guess Who? mobile version. Not sure about what framework to use. Any guesses on what the best would be?11
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Ok, im hired here as a frontender. Formally the designer did a bit of it. The site is shit. I want to fix everything about it basically. But, the thing is that we are working according to gitflow so someone has to check my code. But backend is like: thats frontend. And the designer is too busy and just wants to see the pixels. So who is checking my PR’s now? Guess i’ll do it eventually... it’s going to test first anyway2
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Guess I started with WordPress, copying small snippets of code I never really understood and pasting them wherever, in order to try and solve the many issues I faced while working on my first ever website.
I later tried to learn bootstrap and js for more control over the look of my page, failed miserably.
About three years ago I started learning Java and now I'm an android developer, who btw can also fucking finally create a working, maintainable website from scratch. -
Reality > Perception (GitHub)
Vue.js has more stars than React.js
Flask has more stars than Django
Sometimes puzzled to guess who should be the industry leader1 -
I guess they fixed it now but who else grew tired of Windows 10 repeatedly asking you to make Edge your default browser every few days after you've already told it NO for the nth time...5
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Postman freaking sucks now. It's bloated and can't easily do what's it's supposed to do without hassle. You have to login first, then it will inexplicably lose all your previous API requests.
I guess the company has forgotten who their base customers are.6 -
Is there anyone who successfully booted gentoo in aarch64 mode on the rpi 3? I can't get it to work. It gets onto the rainbow square then it shuts down like there is no kernel I guess. Sorry for asking here but there must be someone here who's kind enough to help.2
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can anyone educate me more about computer networking as a career?
Routers , protocols , network towers, 4g/5g , internet, firewalls, wired/wireless etc , these must be part of some kind of decent job i guess? (I mean there are those guys who just know how to install these in people's systems and then there are guys who are researching and learning about these systems).
- What is the job opportunity? how and when can we start a career there?
- How difficult it is to reach telecom giants like cisco, at&t , airtel, google fiber etc ?
- How interesting is the work there?
- what programming knowledge should we know or we will be learning about?
- How stable is the career there?4 -
It was fckin mythic for me, that friday deployments etc. So we got SRE for a while and he is working sometimes with us when we can't figure something out, and thats all, all the other devops stuff is up to us - precisely me. So our kubernetes cluster decided to fuck up and guess who is sitting on friday evening fixing this crap.
Shit.1 -
Yeah, it's Friday morning and guess what I left my laptop work yesterday and who just got a text saying that the server is on their ass.. yeah you are right ME. And my team who can do the same job as me on restarting the application don't ever take action on this kind of thing... Well I hope they will in a few weeks because I will be gone then2
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The amount of people who complain about puns on this website surprises me. I guess they don't like puns, Not one bit.1
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Becoming a real piece of shit.
When a friend who has no responsibilities and no costs gets a higher paid dev job than I've ever wanted, in an area with a lower CoL.
A normal decent human being would be happy for his friend. I however am not. Guess I deserve what happens1 -
Guess who found a Clang bug old of at least one year? :D
I just need to recode the most complex class of my code, thanks Clang, I love you <3.
https://devrant.io/rants/825972/... -
Went to check out some IT/Developer educations with my youngest son who will hopefully be graduating high-school next may. At one of the educations they actually used javascript as a *cough* programming *cough* language to start learning these kids the basics ... I guess that rules out at least 1 place to start his new studies.8
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How does google map get the ever changing streets data? Be it traffic or general street map? It's accurate af! If a street is shut temporarily, it knows that and reroutes.
I understand that if there are others who are using Google maps in the area, it can aggregate and make an educated guess for every other user. But I am pretty sure it just can't rely on other users opening the app and having their gps on. Eg: live traffic data.. not everyone on the road is using maps!1 -
You guys who code in an office, what kind of keyboard are you using? I'm starting a new job and I guess a mechanical wouldn't be appreciated?10
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Finally done implementing this fuck shit API...
As pr my last rant, I had to implement an API that prints a document twice using "Microsoft Print to PDF"... Turns out that's a shit task, who would have thunk 😑
This is one big ass Calvinball game and I'm not a fan, but if that's the shit you have to do, then I guess I'll try to make it resilient... -
I was adding/removing some programs on os x, and accidentally did sudo rm -rf /usr/local ... now guess who is staying all night formating and reinstalling everything? OS X should really ask in such cases..3
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sigh, I guess I have to learn javascript.
u know, as a devop/prod/backend engineer, i thought i would be exempt, but world wide web of "one more thing a dev should do" won't let me have it :(
so, any of you have a quick and dirty guide to catch up with the latest essential components of javascript as an experienced dev who absolutely knows nothing about js?13 -
So I go to a GDG for VRView tonight, and generally had a great time. I arrived on time, got set up, crushed the coding exercise, and helped a couple of people out with their code.
As is standard procedure with these kinds of events, there was a giveaway at the end - a sealed Daydream View. The guy running the event picked the winner randomly. I was #6, due to the fact that a guy came in literally 20 minutes before we wrapped. Guess who won the VR set? Yep, the dude who came in late, and sat immediately to my right, making him person #5. I'm pretty sure the words "greifer" and "twatwaffle" ran through my head as I packed up to leave. -_- -
Who wants to collab with me for hashcode ?
I don't mind working with c , python , c++ , js , Java and similar languages I guess.
(I don't like Google but a competition is a competition) -
Oracle vs MySQL !
My colleague and I had a long debate on auto increment and sequence :O |Guess who won .. -
Has anybody here worked recently with Talend Open Studio? am I the only one who find it incredible tedious? I feel like every task is like filling a government form by hand. I've desperately searched for a Talend Hate Group and nothing, I can't be the only one.....
I guess this is a mix of Rant/Question.
Thanks5 -
Working in a city that is slightly hard to reach if you don't live near by....
All the people who come to interviews are fucking weiedos that don't even know basic stuff..
I'll just write everything myself i guess 😡 -
Loopback JS is seriously the biggest POS ever. How do I get an interface description of data I've already modeled? Who fucking knows. I guess I just have to keep two copies, one as an interface, and another as mother fucking class.
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