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GUYS!!! SHE SAID "YES" !!!!
I'M SOOOO HAPPYYYYY!!!
All my dreams are becoming real! I was so nervous to ask, but it was worth it! I waited for the right moment, looked her in her eyes, she looked at mine.. And there I asked it: "are you willing to give it a try and install libreoffice instead of ms office?"
AND SHE SAID: "yes"!!!
Do I have the best wife or what!21 -
Me: Alright, let's code!
School: Psst. Hey.
Me: What?
School: Remember that assignment from last week?
Me: Oh god please no.
School: Yeah, it's tomorrow. And you have a Geography exam next Monday. You love geography, right?
Me: Please, no, I want to become a programmer, not a--
School: Shush... It's okay. Programming can wait. You want a to get a job, right? What would they say when they see your poor Geography?
Me: That doesn't even... Okay, fine, I'll do it...
* two days later *
Me: Fuck me! Finally! Let's do some coding now.
School: Psst. Hey.16 -
Production is down
Me to Customer :What did you do?
Customer: Nothing
Me blurt out: The fuck you didn't!
Customer: ...
Me: ...(fuckfuckfuck)
Customer:... Well, I did run these scripts..
Me: (oh thank Christ)
Me: ok, I'll get right on it (Click)
Me to TeamLead: client called. Their prod is down!
TeamMate: did he say he didn't do anything?
Me:Yes
TeamMate: ..... Every fucking time...14 -
BOSS: That icon is not centered, move it slightly to the right
ME: You're wrong, I can garantee you it's centered (it was centered)
BOSS: Well, my eyes are telling me it's not, so move it to the right
ME: (faking increasing margin)
ME: Ok, now it's 10 px to the right, what do you think?
BOSS: it's a great result, now it's perfect! Cant you see the difference?
ME: Absolutely, you do are the real designer here...
BOSS: Ohhh, stop complaining, you'll learn one day...
ME: Yep.18 -
Got a great boss!!;
Me: Hey, do we have a corporate GitHub account?
Boss: *excitedly* do we need it? We'll get it!
Me: uhh, yeah, we need it 😉
Don't care he doesn't know what it is, got his trust to get all the right tools!11 -
People in my office sing me praises for what I can do with Linux even though I joke with them that “I have no idea how to do that - but give me half an hour and an internet connection and I’ll figure something out for you.” I even once specifically said in response to my boss commenting on my skills, “You do realize that I just like…google stuff when you ask me to do something with Linux that I don’t know how to do, right?”
But his praise didn’t change at all. There was no “Wait, that’s all it is?”
Instead, he said “Yes, but the fact that you think to do that - and that you know exactly how to phrase your searches and how to sift through the results to get the right answer, and you then integrate what you’ve learned and use it going forward - is still so much more than any of the rest of us can do. To you, it’s “just googling stuff,” but it’s still a unique and valuable skill you bring, so don’t shrug off the compliments so cavalierly, okay?“
And this was coming from an executive with an MBA. Don’t undervalue your googling skills, kids. It’s not lying if you know you can figure it out.8 -
Guy: you said you were a software developer right?
Me: Yes
Guy: Do you know how to reset my phone?
Me: You do know a reset will wipe out all contacts.
Guy: Yes
Me: What phone do you have?
Guy: iphone
Me: (looks it up on google and shows him it)
Guy: is that a special app?
Me: its google
Guy: oh
I swear this was tuesday night and i was the one out of us that was drinking11 -
Client wants PHP 7.2. I install PHP 7.1 by accident.
Client complains that I don't respond fast enough after 30 minutes (!).
I was in an appointment. I check the ticket. He messed up his entire server by trying to install PHP 7.2 himself because he couldn't wait half an hour longer. We always aim at 4 hours response time, and we hit it with every reply..
I apologize and tell him the costs for me fixing his mess. The client: "if it feels right for you to charge me because you never did your work right, do it."
Some people. How? HOW???17 -
I: "Do you have the right version for your architecture?"
He: "What"
I: "Did you download the 64 bit or the 32 bit version?"
He: "I'm not sure but I think it was sth. between 40 and 50!"19 -
*Overhearding Convos*
A : "Dude, have you tried vim? It sucks!"
B: "I know right, why do they have to make it so hard to use..."
Me whispering : Git Gud Boi...10 -
Client: "I need you to implement a feature which does x"
Me: "We can it do like this, I can do it in Y hours."
Client: "Perfect do it"
Me: "Here you go have a look and if you give your ok I'll implement it on production."
Client:"That is not what I need. I need Z"
Me: "Well then you should have said Z and not x. But I can do Z if you want me to."
Client:"Do it it is urgent!!!!111"
Me: "All done here you go."
Client: "That works like what I said what I need, but I meant more like xZ."
Me: "Ok, you know I have to charge you for all this, do you?"
Client: "What why? It isn't the feature I wanted!!11 Do it right and I'll pay you for the right one!"
Me: "It might not be what you wanted but it is exactly what you specified to me. I'll send you the bill and will not continue working for you. Good luck finding someone who is willing to do unpaid work for you."
I am so done with that kind of client.8 -
Customer is always right.....
Committed to sustainable productivity..
Misunderstanding between the IT Department Staff member and the Finance Department Staff member in one of the establishments...
User: Hi, our printer is not working.
IT Service: What is wrong with it?
User: The mouse is jammed.
IT Service: Mouse? Are you sure it’s a printer, as they don’t come with a mouse?
User: Do you think I’m stupid? I’m telling you it’s the printer!
IT Service: I'm telling you, it can’t be the printer! They don’t have a mouse!
User: Oh really?... Mmmmm... I’ll send you a picture.
Scroll down...
. . . . .. .
. . . . . .
. . . . .
. . . .
. . .
. .
.
.
.
The customer is always right.
Listen to him/her and believe what he/she says.
Don’t jump into conclusions!
12 -
Don’t you just love it when you do the following in a prod database 😅
UPDATE table SET someImportantField= NULL; WHERE abc = 123;
If I don’t laugh right now I’m going to cry.5 -
This happened right before lunch.
Me: hey, what languages do you know?
Classmate: i know python that's pretty much it. What abou...
Random fella: ...-yOU cAn TalK SnekK?!?!?!4 -
CIO: what kind of web server do you want for your dev environment? WordPress?
Me: Uhm, Linux centos running apa-
CIO: whoa that's dangerous you need to think of the people who are going to support this.
Me: right...
CIO: we're going to pick something and stick with it.
FML company is just starting to do in house dev. CIO is heavily involved and knows more than I do... My life is a Dilbert comic strip9 -
My company seems to never have the money to do something right but always have the money to do it twice.3
-
Do you spell it github or jithub?
So this person i met on one interview.
// Looking thru my resume
P: so you have put this code on jithub right?
Me: yeah, on github.
... // A moment of silence from him.
So, which one is the correct?18 -
Co-worker: I need a proxy to do this task.
Me: Why do you need a proxy?
Co-worker: So all these reviews for the company I'm posting don't look sketchy.
Me: Download the TOR browser.
Co-worker: That's kinda sketchy I don't wanna do that.
So falsifying information about the company is okay, but using a browser to do it anonymously is right out.1 -
Creating PHP Sites in class:
Teacher: Right guys open your DreamWeaver Code
Me: I found it easier to use Sublime, Just need to do the CSS
Teacher: I don't think you can create a style sheet without DreamWeaver
Me: 🙄🙄🖕👏👏👏👍28 -
Okay ... So I was asked by my friend .. why do you put a hashtag infront of C ... It should be #C right?
I told him dude .. the sharper part should always come at the end ...
9 -
Wait what's that? You don't use version control on Production servers?
You want me to do what?
You want me to rename every file I have to replace with an underscore and the date after the extension so it looks like this?
SHIT.JAR_01262019
You've got to be fucking kidding me right!?
No?
Oh the production server is down again?
Is it because we're not using the right Jar file?
Well shit, I wonder why that's happening...2 -
We hired a developer and he has very minimal experience. I feel most of our conversations end up going something like this.
New Guy: I'm not sure how to do this obvious task and I'm incapable of searching Google.
Me: Give me your hand so I can hold it and walk you through the process of copying and pasting code from stack overflow.
New Guy: Ok...give you my hand...right...how do I do that?
FML7 -
“Can’t you just open up my iPhone right now and check what’s wrong with it??”
My response: “See, you already know what to do! Since it’s so easy, why don’t you just do it yourself?” -
"How are you going to do that?"
"I don't know..."
"I need an estimate."
"40 hours."
"Why's it going to take that long?"
"I couldn't find the right stack overflow article." -
"Well, how hard could it be to do it in this impossible deadline?"
Well ... HOW ABOUT I STICK A LAMP POST UP YOUR ASS? HOW HARD COULD IT BE? YOU JUST STAY STILL AND I PUSH HARD ENOUGH, RIGHT?!12 -
Do you know that feel when some relatives ask you why you are "gaming" all the time, while in reality you just released a new version of a library you wrote and wanted to get it right?7
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Project manager, a few months ago: "why did you do this task? It's all wrong. It's a backend task, not a frontend task so you shouldn't have done it. Don't do it again."
PM, today, regarding the same task in a different project: "why didn't you do this task? The project isn't complete without it. It isn't right. You should have done it."
Are you fucking serious? If we do it it's wrong, if we don't do it it's wrong too. So why should I bother? Seriously, fuck you you piece of shit.2 -
Linux: the weather applet in the panel displays the weather. When I open it, it displays more weather details.
Windows: the weather applet in the task bar displays the weather. When I open it, it displays random news and stock prices.
Microsoft can't even do a fucking weather applet right. Everything has to be an incoherent mess.34 -
Should I be afraid right now?
Dev: can I swap out an existing UI framework from this codebase for a completely different one, because it doesn't do the small enhancement I've been tasked to do?
Me: ...............
please lord, give me strength in these pressing times.6 -
“What do you mean undeclared function?, it’s right there”
5 mins checking everything....
“oh I haven’t spelt it right.....”4 -
Manager: Hey Dev I need to do QA on this PR.
Dev: That PR is not finished yet
Manager: Well do QA now anyway, that way when it is finished it can be merged in right away since QA has already been done on it. It’s a project management technique called “fast-tracking” and it improves efficiency.
Dev: …9 -
Campaign manager: I don't see my campaign on portal xxx.
Me: Are you sure? I can see it correctly...
CM: Yes, I don't see anything.
Me: Do you have an ad blocker on?
CM: ... Oh, right.
#eyeroll
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GF's brother, Connel (a seaman), knows I work in IT
Connel: you hack computers, right?
Me: not really. I'm more of a developer for businesses
Connel: can you hack banks like [insert name of local bank]? We can hack other people's passwords and make tons of money *laughs hysterically*
Me: (a bit awkward) probably. it depends
Connel: but you can really do it, right?
Me: uhm, maybe. It depends
Connel: but you can do it if you choose to, right?
*this went over for next 5 mins*3 -
✨ I created a cli tool that brings my GitHub feed right to my terminal.
It's just a fun idea that I had since I have this habit of checking my github feed every now and then. So made this tool to do it right from my working terminal.
The project is open-sourced in Github
https://github.com/RocktimSaikia/...
7 -
Never used Linux before. At least not enough to say I've worked on it. But these discussions in here, they've pushed me. I'll do it now. I'll try Fedora. Right now! And never come back...till it's ABSOLUTELY needed.25
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made a password sniffer in python it was really easy how many of you took #100DaysOfCode i took the challenge 8 days today every day i am doing one project what do you think of the sniffer? it currently doesn't support SSL response but working on that right now this is good
15 -
Me: -gets in Uber hoping it will be a quiet ride-
Uber: hey
Me: hey
Uber: So, uh, what do you do?
Me: Oh I'm a software developer.
Uber: Ooohhhh. So you can make the next Uber/Careem if I were to ask you right!?
Me:4 -
Customer: Can you do a database query for me?
Me: Made the query and send them the result as a csv-file.
Customer: Is it possible to send it as an excel-worksheet because the columns don't have the right width.
Me: Resize the columns to the right width, saved it as xlsx-file and send it back.5 -
I'm tutoring multiple courses in my school, including CCNA 1, html, JavaScript, IT essentials which is just an introduction to particles of a computer.
[Student]: So do you know that course about computers?
[Me]: mhm.....they all are kinda...you mean it essentials?
[Student]:Yes! The one where we type code between tags, right?
[Me]:Wait....html?
[Student]:Yes!
[Me]: yes, I am helping with that course.
[Student]: Oh cool...so how do I do thumbnails?
[Me]: /Opens the IDE/ same as a regular image except for it's a link that opens a bigger version of an image /blah blah blah/. You know how to insert the image on the page, right?
[Student]: Don't we just open the Google and search images?
[Me]:...
[Me]:....
[Me]:...omg my shift is over...
I wish I was making it up. -
I honestly don't get too mad when people aks me to do things like install programs for them. This is not my dayjob, but when you think of it, they're right when they say "you are a programmer so you must know how to do that". We do know how to do that. When you have a question about plants and you know a farmer, you are going to ask the farmer, even though he is not a gardener. He will know. Just as we know how to use computers very well.2
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When you and your team just gave a thousand reasons why you should do it the right way and your PM just nodded and continue to argue for the retarded way to do it cause it's faster ..
2 -
-Hey highonsleep you a webdesigner, right?
Me: no, frontend dev.
-Yeah right my dad needs a new logo for his firm, can you do it? We can't pay right now but we'll give you lots of paid design work in the future and it'd be good for your portfolio.
Me: whatthefuckingfuckLOL. *Unfriend/block/delete/remove*6 -
Got the ideal job right now. Over market salary. 100% remote. Mornings to myself until the rest of the team in another time zone comes online. Working within my competency with just enough challenge to make it interesting. Free products for being an employee. Only wish it came with paid health insurance but I do get a partial reimbursement.2
-
Today I had this conversation during my internship with the boss.
Boss:"You are from college x. What do you do there..."
Me:"We do have programming classes, electr..."
Boss*interrupts*:"So you know how to create exel tables, right?"
Me:"Uhmm... well... we barely worked with exel, but I think that I can solve it."
Boss:"Great. I have these ideas..."
*tells me his ideas and his problems with existing tables*
Me*great. I just took the wrong luck card. fml*"I see. I am on it."11 -
Do not steer away from projects using technologies you may not know or be comfortable in. Instead worked your hardest to get it right, ask lots of questions and don't be insulted if people find issues in your code. It's a learning experience.
-
The 2018 bucket list!
I sort of swear to be a good coder, to take honour and dignity in all the lines I write, I will not take shortcuts, I will obtain a +80% test coverage across my projects, write clean and accurate documentation, and ultimately I will write less bugs!
Yea..., probably not but worth a try anyway!!1 -
Boss: "Sooo.... How long will it take?"
Me: "Maybe we should agree on some processes and specify your wishes for the new feature first?"
Boss: "Yeah you're right.... But what do you think? Will you get it done til $deadline?"
...
Why am I even trying? Who needs project management anyway?4 -
I work with junior developers, guiding them and teaching them on a daily basis.. my biggest pet peeve?
When they finish typing code and without testing it ask: "Is this right?"
HOW THE FUCK DO I KNOW? Seriously! I don't know what all your specs are, maybe try running it before asking??
ffs.9 -
Why the fuck do people go to so much trouble to justify what they did instead of just admitting they were wrong?
The way I handle this type of people is to first ask a straightforward like "X implies Y, right?" If they answer "yes" I say "then this here isn't right" and watch them go around the world to find a justification for it not being wrong.6 -
Worst thing I've seen a Dev do? Blame others even if it shows in the git blame that it is his fault 😂 no equality, ego and hard headed. Wants to show every one that he's always right 😂 well good luck with karma. What an attitude lol
-
Do you know that feeling when you finally have no more errors, but then you can't tell if the software actually does the right thing?
🤢
Wisdom of the day:
'No crashes' is not equivalent to 'it works'...5 -
TL;DR: If you make a contest where people get to vote online fucking make it right!
And here's the story: I play in a local coverband to make some cash on the side and because I love making music. We entered a contest hosted by a local radio-station. The first round was determined by judges and now 5 bands remain and of those 5 only 3 get to be voted into the final round. In the final round every bands wins something: 3rd place 250€, 2nd place 750€ and first place 5000€.
Now that stupid dipshit of a web-designer of that radio-station made a website where you can vote and it only fucking sets a cookie. You can delete it and vote again. You don't need no E-Mail and nothing. It doesn't even block multiple votes from one IP. It doesn't do shit.
Even my bandmates (who don't work in IT) where smart enough to figure out that you can just delete the cookies...
I think that now every band except for one is cheating. (we have over 5000 votes and combined all bands have like 4000 FB-Likes and sometimes and Band gets like 400 more votes in an hour) This is such a fucking messup and I don't know what to do. Maybe they'll look into stats but if they're so stupid to make a contest like this in the first place, maybe they won't. And even if they look into the stats it wouldn't be fair to kick out a band with much votes because how the fuck would they know if the band themselves cheated or if it was a fan of the band or even an enemy of the band just to get them kicked out.
I'm afraid of talking to the radio-station as a part of one band because maybe the web-designer there just gets frustrated and bans us from the contest entirely.
This is just fucking frustrating.5 -
"How much info can we get from cookies? I want to get gender, approx. age and at least first name. That's possible, right?"
Me: "that's not how cookies work.. the info needs to be stored somewhere, where we can access it. It's not in guests cookies"
"How does Google do then? They're tracking everything we do.. *bla* *bla*"
- my business partner..........5 -
When a shitty website does a bad job at preventing behavior by disabling client-side items (such as right click), I take it as a challenge, and usually do everything they don't want me to, simply out of spite.1
-
Ok, YOU fuck up THREE (!) times, and send me new text for the app, each time saying its '100% finished, no errors' and expect me (each iteration) to do it IMMEDIATELY
Why don't you go fuck yourself, do your damn job, do it right, and THEN contact me instead of running around like an childish preschooler with a pair of scissors4 -
Scenario 1
Friend 1:"Hey, you're good at computers right?"
Me:"Erm yup."
Friend 1:"Can you hack Instagram? I've lost my password."
Me:"Oh My God."
Scenario 2
Me looking at a friend's unity C# code
Me:"You know there's an enter key right? Why is your code horizontal not vertical?"
(Means that after a semi-colon he continues his code)
Friend 2:"I like to read my code in horizontal, that feels natural to me"
Me:"What ever, as long as it works. But why do you have so many if function inside another if function?"
Friend 2:"Cuz I want the player to do this while moving"
Me:".........."3 -
Me on a tech part of a job interview: "We shouldn't do it this way because it violates separation of concerns!"
Interviewer: *clearly impressed*
Me 2 weeks later: *does exactly what I said that shouldn't be done because I can't be arsed to do it the right way*4 -
At work, an idiot who has never worked on machine learning before and understands nothing about it: "You know what, machine learning isn't actually hard. It is just basic statistics and then you download the model online and that's it! There's nothing else you are doing!"
STFU, you moron! Do you think just any model can work for your use case? Do you fucking think it is easy to come up with new architecture for a very specific use case and test it accurately? Do you think it's easy to effectively train a model and do hyper-parameter optimization?Do you fucking think it is easy to retrieve the right data for your use case? Do you think it's easy to keep up with research papers on arXiv being released daily? Do you think this is fucking javascript and there's a framework for everything? Stfu!
Honestly, i hate ignorant morons who generalize stuff they don't clearly understand.5 -
Due to hardware failure build server was wiped out.
So all configurations are gone.
- There is no code to recreate builds
- No backups :D
The bright side, we can finally do it right ;)2 -
I've been fucking around with arch since 9pm and now it's 2am...I have class tomorrow...why did I do this to myself? oh that's right because it looks beautiful.
5 -
Why do people fucking do this? You're working in a team, ffs. Even if right now you're the only one working on that branch or whatever, that doesn't make it okay to have the most useless commit messages of all time.
10 -
"What's my email again?"
"Come on. yourfirstname@ourlastname.at."
"Ah, right."
and
"How do I unblock you on WhatsApp?"
Other than that, not much recently.
I am a walking German dictionary to her, however. I mean, I don't need to google it most of the time, so maybe not worth telling her to just google it :P4 -
For some reason, when testing if a block of code is firing, I always do console.log('fart'); More often than not I forget to remove it before going to production. I feel good knowing that's out there on dozens of sites right now.8
-
I googled - "What does refresh from windows right click menu do?"
I got a reply - "Search instead for why the hell it is there in first place"2 -
I don't fucking believe it! Who the fuck navigates on right click!? Invision, you fucking piece of shit! Can't you do one fucking thing right?3
-
>Linux kernel setup compiles right
did I finally do it?
>boots
>about 1/3 of the way through it hangs the machine
...that's about right.1 -
My coworker "fixed" a bug. Then an issue was reported to me. He refactored something that we both used(And my code was already working right). I asked him about it. He didn't care about it and also was upset about my question. A question that I didn't ask in a "rude" way.. The worst: the refactor only required 30 seconds to do!!!
What!!!
Please guys if you refactor do it right or don't do it at all. Have a nice day9 -
FFS, just because they do it that way on a competitor website doesn't mean it is either good, right or the best way to do it. My next door neighbours car number plate is held on with gaffa tape, im not about to copy that and suggest everyone should do it. Dim fucking irrational, know it all clients. GO FUCK YOURSELVES!! From my research i could probably run your business better than you anyway, your whole fucking outlook is fundamentally flawed. Cunts!1
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It is only now that I can finally appreciate how brilliant PHP is.
When you're new to programming, you write some HTML + CSS, it looks good, but the dynamic part is missing. So, you install PHP and just… write dynamic parts right in your HTML? How crazy is that? You can even write regular code there too! Errors are logged right away, common features like DB driver and sessions are built in…
It's all about marketing. Next.js does exactly the same thing when they brag about writing SQL in React. When they do it, it's revolutionary. When PHP does it, PHP bad. Gotcha fam 🫤14 -
Fuck the NBN - you aussies will know!
So apparently Fixed IPs are not a thing for HFC connections unless you have a business account.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Although I didn’t pay for a fixed ip on adsl and it states it’s “dynamic”, mind you it hasn’t changed in 6 years... so it may aswell be fixed right? Right?
Now I have to go explore DDNS with Cloudflare, looks like a api call on ip change will do the trick but urgh.
Ps: I finally.... made it to the nbn - well that’s next week...
only 3 years overdue since my first “NBN ready” letter 😂2 -
Me: So... do you want a website, right?
Client: Yes!
Me: ...but you don't know how it should look, right?
Client: Ehm... correct.
Me: ...and you don't even know what color should I use?
Client: Exactly!
Me: ...and of course you can't link me a website you like which I can base on.
So now I have to invent something randomly that somehow will be the exact same thing you would like to see. Nice.1 -
So I thought “wow, alcohol aerosol should probably catch fire and burn really quick. I bet I can burn my hands if I do this”.
So I poured pure alcohol into a spray bottle and sprayed it right onto a lit up lighter in my hand.
It burned really quick.
I burned my hands.
I was right.
Affective disorder be like9 -
*goes to management*
Me: So do you want the button to be up here or down here?
Management: OMG you finished?! So early?!
Me: Eh no, I just modified the HTML in the browser...
Management: But I can see the button right there!
Me: ...
Management: Well, leave it where it was.
It never was. And it is currently in two places.2 -
So I decided to positively tackle the negative energy surrounding me these past few days. I tried to be productive. I went overboard, of course. Where is the fun in normal?
I wrote down all the urgent tasks I must die-die finish. Anyone closed with Asians will know the severity of the die-die and must combo. I started with tasks I have to finish in 3 days. Then in a week. Then in 2 weeks. I ended up creating more than 25 cards across my respective Trello boards.
The tasks that come to me always need minimum 3,4 working hours. Literally. The furthest deadline I see is Oct 15. The tasks I counted is more than 25. No appointments nor meetings were counted yet. It is not impossible. If I finish 2 tasks per day, 14 days is enough to complete all. I might have to continuously work 2 whole weeks of course. But it is still fine, right? Right, guys? Right? It's doable. Right?
I won't get any unskippable appointment within this 2 weeks. Right?
I won't get new tasks to finish within this 2 weeks. Right?
I won't have to guide other people how to do their tasks within this 2 weeks. Right?
I won't have to work other people's tasks when they absent within this 2 weeks. Right?
I won't have to entertain any annoying client because customer service team can't deal within this 2 weeks. Right?
I won't have to do other personal tasks within this 2 weeks. Right? (Like helping with creating a wedding slideshow for a friend marrying on Oct 28)
My life is totally fine. Right?3 -
When I point out something you did wrong. I do not care about the things you did right in the past year.
You did something wrong and that needs to be fixed. I do not care about how hard you tried, I just need it to be right. I'm not attacking you as a person I'm complaining about the end result being not good enough.10 -
I built a basic MVP for a client as a proof of concept for his startup. It was a quick thing just to prove a point do I rattled it out in procedural php.
Sadly it was successful and has somewhat taken off. It’s also grown arms and legs.
It works. The user will never know, but the code is SHIT. I never thought it would still be here.
I’m want to re-write it now in laravel.
But...... ugh1 -
This is from a book I'm reading right now! I found it funny :-D
Pattern: What is a chaperone?
Shallan: That is someone who watches two young people when they are together, to make certain they don’t do anything inappropriate
Pattern: Inappropriate? Such as . . . dividing by zero?8 -
Last week I made my own Website, I was so proud on it.
Today I told a friend absolut it and he shows me how to do it right with CSS-Grids.
Now I am asking me how coud I be proud on my old website4 -
Spent the last half hour helping my wife over text trying to "fix" FireFox. She said any site she tries to go to just "spins and spins". Chrome, Edge, all work fine. Tried the trusty 'ipconfig /flushdns'.
Me: "Open the command line, by selecting Start and start typing cmd. You'll see the Command Prompt application. Right click and run it as an administrator"
<15 seconds later>
Her: "Do I left click or right click to run as adminstrator?"
Me: "Left click. You'll get a pop message, just click yes"
<about 10 seconds later>
Her: "This thing popped up, what do I do?"
Me: "Click yes"
<more waiting>
Her: "Says something about making changes to my computer, what do I do?"
Me: "Click yes"
Her: "Is it going to make changes? Are you sure I should click yes?"
Me: "YES!!"
Her: "Don't yell at me. You're supposed to know how to do this, not me. What do I do now?"
Me: "Type ipconfig /flushdns"
Her: "OK, is this right.."
<sends a screenshot of 'Type ipconfig/flushdns'>
Me: "No, just ipconfig /flushdns"
Her: "OK, is this right.."
<sends a screenshot of 'ipconfig/flushdns'>
Me: "Yep, just put a space between ipconfig /flushdns and press enter"
Her: "Is this right.."
<sends a screenshot of ' ipconfig/flushdns'>
Me: "No, the space goes between ipconfig /flushdns, not before."
Her: "You're not making yourself clear. OK, now what?"
Me: "Press enter"
Her: "It didn't do anything."
Me: "Did you press enter?"
<more waiting>
Her: "OK, it's done. Now what?"
Me: "Restart FireFox"
Her: "Still not working. Just spins and spins."
<not 100% sure restarted FireFox>
Me: "I'll look at it when I get home."17 -
To all of us who procrastinate. Here is my new thinking that is making me slightly more productive! I would guess we all agree that the work is fucked up. But what we need to be productive, is an ego big enough to think that we are the only one smart enough to fix it! Just let your ego go!
Why code that project? Because other people would do it wrong! You fuck up the project? Fuck you, do it right or it won't be done right! My internal monologue from now on!
Does this mean I don't ask for help? Of course I ask! So that I can learn it, realise the other person is an idiot, then do it right using their technology!
If you don't do what you are planning to do, nobody will! Also most of the worlds problems can be solved with money, so that is why we should get rich. To fix the problems of the world.
Hope it helps someone :)4 -
Shower thought:
The anti-procrastination-technique "If it only takes five minutes or less, do it right now" is basically "Shortest Job First" for Real Life3 -
My senior and I started pair programming to improve my code quality. He likes it and I find it fun (and convenient that he helps me) but it feels like I'm making him do my work. I also fear that I am too horrible to be trusted with code alone but if that was the case they would kick me out right?5
-
Feeling so dumb right know.
I have a C# exam tomorrow (on paper) and i can't get my brain to think in code.
I can't focus, I can't concentrate. I don't remember things i normally know by heart. Is it just stress? (Everything is pretty hard atm, lots of stress, lots of problems).
What could i do? I'm pretty messed up right now...13 -
I started creating a complete API documentation for devRant. What do you guys think?
It's far from finished yet, but I'm heavily developing it right now.
Here's the repository: https://github.com/ThePlatzhalter/...
A preview is available at https://htmlpreview.github.io//...29 -
Hey, fellow dRs.
I may need some help regarding this circuit.
It is about an 8 Bit multifunctional shift register with a 2 Bit instruction set.
These work:
If "Sel" is 0x00, the circuit loads data into its 8 D flip flops.
If "Sel" is 0x03, the circuit replaces all data with 0s.
These don't work (they do, but they do it in a very strange way and end up filling 1s instead):
If "Sel" is 0x01, it is supposed to ringshift bitwise to the right.
If "Sel" is 0x02, it is supposed to ringshift to the left.
As mentioned above. They do it in a very strange way. If we have 10000000, it will shift to the left or right depending on the "Sel"'s binary value. Let us say we want to shift it right. The output will turn from 10000000 to 01000000 (which is what we want), BUT after that it adds another 1 to it: 01100000. It keeps doing it until every single Bit is a 1. Same thing happens with the left ringshift.
I will include the other circuits used in this circuit in the comment section.
25 -
If there is anything I hate in life more than XCode is not organizing work!
A feature done few months ago on mobile, tested, passed QA and now it is not working! Why? Because API got screwed!! Why? Because someone is changing the core of the system without notifying anyone!!
Both API and that feature were not touched in months and suddenly stopped working and guess who is blamed, damn right me and the API dev when non of us even made a change -.-3 -
Why Gmail. Why the fuck do your search parameters, especially your date filters, not work anywhere near as expected.
You make me have to query and test, query and test, just, randomly fucking guessing because, fuck it, right?
With a good 10 second refresh time. I love twiddling my thumbs and pulling my hair out.
after:2018/11/1 should produce emails from Nov 1st onward.
Not, TODAY ONLY, if no other parameters are
specified.
If there's a from: parameter, now we want to do after Nov 1st, right?
And also, don't show me how to sort in reverse order, either. Not without a complete rewrite of my class there, which clearly I'm too lazy to do right now.
Fuck the Gmail Api, responsible for weeks of wasted dev time... or more aptly put, "fuck devs using our gmail api" says the maniacal, sociopath devils that created it
fuckers.1 -
Right, I get that you prefer light theme. Understood it the first time you told me, even though I've never asked you. But why the hell do you feel the urge to whine and whinge about it literally every fucking time you stroll behind me and see my beautiful dark-and-pastel-colored ide?1
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Goddamnit I am an idiot. I just fried a microcontroller because I didnt have the right power supply and I used it anyway because fuck it, right? So now I am not a single step closer to the thing I was trying to do but I fucked up my hardware and it is a huge pain in the ass until I get a new one and figure out all the problems with it. Arghn7
-
Can we get a translator bot? I can't copy paste the text in app, so every time I want to translate some rant, I have to copy rant link, open it elsewhere, copy the text, and then go translate it.
Like, bots must do it easier and faster, right?14 -
Today I went into the 1 holer restroom right after my boss. I braced myself for the worse as the toilet seat was down. To my surprise it smelled like bubble gum. So my boss's shit doesn't stink, it smells like bubble gum.
What that hell do you have to eat to make your shit smell like bubble gum?24 -
Client: *Sends beautiful screenshot*. I created the newsletter (template) with chatgpt.
Me: Nice. Did it add the header and the footer as well ?
Client : I'm asking him to do it right now.
Me: Ok.
As a trash developer I fear for my job.
/s
Ughh
17 -
Have you ever flown a plane? No? Well I need you to get in the lab today and test out these high level requirements, you should pick up on it pretty fast....
The lab looks like NASA flight control and has everything a cockpit has, sure I can just jump right on it and do my thing.
This should be fun 😅2 -
Yesterday I've finished the basics of my first api at work. Now going to start on the mvc front end.
Finally learning C# ASP .NET and how to do it right.
So far everyone is happy at work1 -
I'd choke anybody right now until they fucking turn the colors of my syntax theme, for fucks sake how many times do I have to restart vsCode for it to fucking work again6
-
You know that feeling when the junior programmers do their job quickly, properly, and elegantly just like how you would have done it? :)
Yeeeeah, me neither. What the fuck is this dog shit?? God dammit! Why we have 2MB of CSS?? Do you even you this jQuery plugin?? What do you mean frontend.php and frontend2.php?? Why is this block of code indented all the way to the right?? "Just 1 bug left" OH REAAAAALLLYYYYY?4 -
AI won't take our jobs. It will create possibilities we can't even imagine right now. We will work together with AI. Just in jobs we can't conceive right now.
Heck, do you think a programmer in the 70s would phantom that personal PCs would take his/her job? It just opened the possibility of programming to the masses :D1 -
Sometimes, people you work for are just dump.
Someone ask me this:
"Can you help me find the 'e from the internet'?"
And by "e from the internet", she means internet explorer...
The problem was, she right click it and unpinned it from the taskbar...
Ps: it's the same person who maked me do my first Rant.2 -
Forgot headphones, noticed coworkers conversation...
If null coalescing operator (??) returns right on null, why doesn't !! Do the opposite?
- boolean beat ya to it.1 -
Is scope creep worse when the Client does it or when internal departments do it to you?
Right now I can't fucking tell. ( :/ )3 -
So regarding the current "controversy" about shitposting and getting downvoted as a result.
You lot do realize that you're on the fucking internet right?
Beefing it out in the comments won't help the issue at hand and your opinions do not matter to your "opponent".
Just fucking stop nobody gives a flying fuck.
I mean I technically do as per I'm ranting about this but my god Just cease.6 -
So I went to some meetup with my boss.
Suddenly some old friend of mine shows up, and we start talking..
- „Where do you work now?“
„$company in $city“
- „And.. Do you like it there?“
„Now way, I hate my job.. Too many idiots around!“
The thing is: My boss was right behind me all the time and heard everything..
FML!3 -
Last night my Kindle got frozen and failed to respond to the touches, so I hard reseted it by physical power button. After a dozen of minutes of unresponsiveness, it finally restarted. Some light of hope sparked in me when I could see the silhouette of the lovely boy sitting under a tree, and soon enough the starting progress bar appeared and just stopped right before its end. I kept restarting the device over and over again and the starting progress bar has never reached its dest. The mtfk boy sitting under the tree grew up and becomes a douchebag, and still I can't do a thing with my Kindle. I had nothing to do with it now, and in a moment of having nothing to do, I put it out of its case, and even made a big scratch in the top left corner. Just want to smash it right away!
14 -
Or is it my life that has impacted coding? I'm so glad I was born in the right time. I can't even imagine what I would do instead of coding if I had to live in say, the middle ages.3
-
Any JavaScript developers out there willing to help me out with something?
I have an interview question that I like to ask candidates that no one ever seems to get right. But, to me, it seems pretty basic, so I expect MOST JavaScript developers at almost any level of expertise to get it, and I like it generally because it demonstrates some core knowledge of JavaScript concepts and syntax.
But I want to verify that my feelings about it are reasonable, because give how few ever seem to get it right (and I'm talking across literally hundreds of interviews, MAYBE 2 people have ever gotten it right), I'm starting to wonder if I'm right or not.
Look at this code, and then answer the question after. Please do so off the top of your head and without testing anything since that's normally the experience a candidate would have. I'll give the answer after some time for anyone who gets it wrong but is curious.
But this isn't about YOU getting it right or not, and it's not about whether it's the best way to do something in JavaScript or anything like that, it's just about whether it's a reasonable question and whether my expectation that MOST JavaScript developers should get it right is fair.
const O = {
sayHello : function() { alert("Hello"); }
};
const S = "sayHello";
Question: using ONLY the variables O and S (and you MUST use both), write code that executes the sayHello function.
Thanks!34 -
Ah.... Just saw a message in team chat that we had a prod issue caused by the use of a hack/duct tape solution...
Dev just replied "as a fix I will do it the right way"
Me thinking: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I told you so... Now you learned it the hard way7 -
Ok so I wrote my VGA text mode driver in rust, how would I do create like graphics and stuff? Because all it does right now is display text.7
-
Just finished my first project where I built a page with Angular, hosted it with Node/Express (locally), and pulled info from an API to display c: Feels good that I could even do it, even if it took hours of googling and tutorial to kick me in the right direction.
The whiskey didn't hurt either.1 -
FUCK YOU TECH LEAD! Our manager explained what he wanted 4 MONTHS AGO! You said we could do it! We can do it! You suddenly changed your mind, instead of asking me WHO IS WORKING ON THE PARTS REQUIRED TO DO THE MAGIC! MAYBE I WOULD KNOW IF IT IS POSSIBLE OR NOT??? MAYBE??? NOW I HAVE TO GO FIGHT YOU, YOUR EGO WILL SAY YOU ARE RIGHT, YOU WONT BACK DOWN, AND WE WILL SCREAM AT EACH OTHER! FUCK, RUINING MY 4 DAY WEEKEND RELAXATION! AND IN FRONT OF THE BOSS!!! FUCK
-
"Do it right do it light..do it wrong do it long"
My old peewee football coache's sage advice on the pitfalls of technical debt..1 -
Oh boy!
Aren't we off to a fucking great start, first turn on my Xbox and it keeps overheating...
Ok I'll leave it for a bit and just jump on my PC and do some work but nooooooooo. Boot it up and it fucking hangs on an A2 boot code (Drive issue), unplugged every drive and look at that, still on fucking A2...
I do not need this right now. Can't afford a new fucking PC if this one is going to be fucking up like this -,-2 -
Why use an Accept header when you can do this, right?
randomapi.com/random/resource/json
randomapi.com/random/resource/xml
🤦♂️
I'm already feeling it, I'm gonna have a great time with this API15 -
Waiting for my interview at a big firm.
Nervous.
If I am accepted here, I will have to break a 1 year contract with my previous company. I just feel it is not the right thing to do but this is a very good oppurtunity for me.2 -
Made parsers that are downloading and parsing 100 years of law data right now.
I am so happy I don’t have to read every document and just let computer do it for me.
That are great times we live in.2 -
Best way to learn something new?
You keep repeating it wrongly until you are blue in the face, the whole world has gone red and the sweet release of death sounds favorable to your current dilemma.
Then, if you are lucky, you get it right out of the many many failed attempts.
But, what you have learned is far greater than getting it right once. You've learned many ways not to do it again. -
One coffee down and my eyes are just glazing over my code and wondering... right... what is it I gotta do now ... ? What day is it ... Where am I ...3
-
I spend all morning on trying to solve an Algo problem for upcoming interview practice (Euler #3) that comes down to implementing IsPrime.
I remember reading once how Sieve of Eratosthenes
Isa the right way to go do when I first started I wanted to use that.
Then I couldn't think of the right code though so I went with Brute Force (for all numbers upto X see X is divisible by it)
It actually worked but I wanted to just try the "right way".
It's way slower and actually ended up with the wrong answer...
But at this point I don't give a **** anymore.
I guess lesson learned... Use Brute Force first... Then optimise for a problem more elegant solution.10 -
We have this marketing class that none of us gives a rat's ass about and it's not related to software engineering in any way, and our professor knew that.
So to make things easier for him and for us, he made the rule that if we do at least 30% right on the test, we'll pass.
If we got a question right, we get 1 point, if we got it wrong 0 points, and if we left it unanswered, a quarter of a point.
That meant that if we didn't do anything on the test, we get 25 % anyway, so we almost pass by doing nothing.
Fucking genius.
I only answered 5-6 questions that I knew were right and left the rest unanswered and passed5 -
Okay so I just went from getting no feedback on job applications to having more appointments than I can manage.... You'd think this is a good thing but how do you do this with or raising suspicion... Guess it means I did something right in all my hard work and late nights....11
-
I often ask myself why I chose this career path.
Right now, I had one of those moments where it all clicks and falls into place.
Where you can take a problem, have a rapid fire thought through your head and you've got all the modules in memory (pun unintended,) and it's just a case of touching keys.
I think that's why I do what I do. The feeling of satisfaction after you go 'I got it!'
🤙🤙1 -
Everyone talks about quality, but they don't know what it means/ don't want to invest the time to do things right.2
-
Just installed Arch for my first time. Using lxde right now but sadly theres now way I can rotate my 2nd monitor (since I have it vertical). What desktop environments do you guys use? Should be lightweight/fast/not many animations and shit.14
-
"XYZ is an API that allows you to throw a bunch of stuff at it, and it will generally do the right thing" - best documentation ever!1
-
When starting a new project full of challenges, do not go to your technicians right away; go to your artists first - they will know what to do. Then go to your engineers - because they will figure out how to do it.4
-
Linkedin looks like some devs went to Facebook, right clicked, saved a copy of the webpage and just edited some of the text. Why do we need "Like" and "Comment" features?
It was fine when it was just a professional networking site. Boring, sure, but at least it did the thing it was created to do.
It's all very cringe now.
PS I got my current job and will probably get my next job through Linkedin, but it still makes me cringe4 -
As a developer you have a surreal ability to plan the future and you are able to do it even in non-IT related areas of your life. Am I right?
Then, tell me, how many times have you died in your head thinking about "I could just jump here", "if I turn right that truck will definitely crush me", "well, that structure could collapse, how to survive if it happens?". ?4 -
I've got this Acer laptop and I haven't really bothered before. But tf does this key do?
It seems to function like the right click but sometimes goes haywire.
5 -
Helping your family with their computers would be much more pleasant if they used right language:
"PLEASE, we NEED you superior problem-solving intelligence and self-confidence, because we are too stupid and anxious to do it ourselves! Please help us!!!"5 -
How do you know when to quit working for a particular company?
When you quit your job, what are the things or factors that tell you that that's the right time to do it?
🤔3 -
For sure you know people who ask you like "hey, you do something with computer, right? I have a problem with my (insert random device here)."
Of course I am looking forward doing so! I was playing with jboss and oracle all the day and like to do more computer stuff! Yes, today, I know it is important because your mom can't play candy crush right now...
No! Stop! After fixing PCs for nearly free in my spare time, I am blocking all these questions now and focus on doing things i like in my spare time. Are you still fixing other people's stuff for free? Stop it. Enjoy life!2 -
"It should be fairly simple to find a service to do this thing."
Then why are you assigning me the task instead of handling it yourself? Obviously if it's that simple you already did all the research on the possible options, right? In which case, why waste my time? :P -
Just "finished" a side project (I know right, unprecedented) to be graced immediately afterward with another approach to vastly improve one of its features. Well shit, now I HAVE to implement it otherwise it'll just bug the shit out of me for the rest of time!
WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME BRAIN! JUST LET ME FINISH MY SHITTY SIDE PROJECTS WITH PEACE AND QUIET! -
It kills me when people performing UAT do not know how to test a particular functionality but still mark it as a defect when something uneven happens! We use IMF to build the input using tags. Sometimes they won't even care to know the right tag to fit in the params, but would still mark it as a bug whatsoever!
-
so on android you're supposed to do network stuff like sockets and http requests on a separate thread right. lazy me released an app with a line of code (i forget what it is) that allows me to make http requests in the main thread. rip3
-
FFS, I wasted my time reinstalling nodejs just to update my npm and tried npm i -g npm.
Outputs a success status but when I check via npm -v it's still the same old version.
Or maybe I'm just too dumb that I don't know how to do it right.10 -
Developing the front end and THEN developing the back end is a horrible idea, right guys? I've been placed on my first big project with my employer and this is the way the client is deciding to do it (my employer is not making the backend). I just need to know that I'm not crazy and that this is usually never the way people go about software development. Right guys? Please send help.5
-
Starting a new side project and I am determined to do it right.
Just finished writing the features list and now I'm writing the documentation. Not written a single line of code not, nor even created a repository.12 -
My left cortex: You have a paper to write @poster983. Put devrant down.
My right cortex: NO! Enjoy yourself. You have a study hall tomorrow. Do it then.
My left cortex: Remember, you already said that about history. Best to do it now!
*mouth makes farting noise*
My Right cortex: COME ON! IT'S HUCKLEBERRY FINN. JUST USE SPARK NOTES! DO IT L A T E R!
My left cortex: fuck you right.
My right cortex: right back at you.
*Snapchat buzzes*
My full brain: OK HALT THE DEVRANTS! THE BOYFRIEND IS TEXTING!
(Notice the recursion here?). This is why I can't ever write papers.
Same thing applies to when I'm programing. I end up spending 2 hours on something that only should have taken me 1.
My left cortex: Stop Ranting!
Help me.
💩
2 -
Finally took the time to start learning Angular 2. I wanted to do it right so I set up the development environment with webpack. Man does Angular 2 take a lot longer to get setup properly versus Angular 1. I mean it's worth it to do it properly but it was a lot more labor intensive getting a good dev environment setup than I had anticipated.4
-
Right after breaking my camera lens, my brother again broke my precious favorite mouse. I don't know what to do about it. After all, he is my brother.7
-
The time it takes me to get the wording right I could've finished the code already so yeah, nope, me antisocial dumb dumb no do no code assistants
-
Linear algebra is a hammer that actually works well on things akin to a nail when wielded right. Do you have a similar wildcard that works everytime you try it?2
-
How do you guys and gals combat RSI? Starting to get pains in my forearms... After a day of coding when I get home I have to prop the right hand side of my keyboard up to game as it gets rid of some of the discomfort...
6 -
I'm going to let you know right now:
If you don't put it into a ticket, I'm not going to do the work.3 -
Them: "We need you to do this thing this way because it isn't possible to do the right way."
Me: ... *codes script that works the right way*
Them: "But it was actually this other thing we didn't say anything about that isn't possible."
Me: ... *codes script with new condition, still works*
Now repeat daily for 2 weeks and we may get to where I don't just silently provide a working script.
Maybe I should have just done it the wrong way to begin with? -
So I just read the Blink to "Poke the Box" and one question it raised was.
If you had no obstacles and unlimited resources (I guess like if you could retire right now and do anything you want), what would you do?
For myself I couldn't really think of something/a goal/big project that would keep me interested...
(I vaguely remember maybe there was a Weekly Rant about this...)4 -
When I started developing my current Django project, I had decided to go full TDD, do it like a pro. But I stopped after some time, as I spent more time trying to make the website look right than trying to make the backend work, which always seems to work fine. Am I an idiot? I think I'm going to regret it...6
-
How do you define a app's nationality?
Right now India is banning Chinese app due to India-China border issue.
So how do you define? Based on the company location? Their developers location ? If a software contains a open source Chinese package, do you consider it's a Chinese app?
What about the case of PUBG mobile. The mobile version to publish by Tencent, so is it a Chinese app?8 -
Going back to a project from a few months ago, a fellow dev has committed 'test this' comments with my name...
Hitting up git blame shows my tests were written 2 weeks before! If you're gonna be passive aggressive, at least do it right :/ -
Do any of you have a fidget spinner or other fidget gadget? They seem to be pretty popular right now esp the fidget spinners. If you have one does it actually help you, or does it actually become more distracting? I'm fine myself fidgeting with paperclips and was looking at a fidget gadget.7
-
I want to use Babel or Typescript for the first time. Because as I read it is the way to go, when compressing JavaScript and make it browser compatible. If that's false, please correct me.
There's a question I've got about this. Right now I am using a PHP router file dealing with requests and selecting the right .js file and compresses it. So I can write like modular JavaScript functions and include them when needed.
My question is, what do I have to change in my setup to switch to the mentioned technologies?11 -
It is Monday 1:22PM here and what is on my mind? Sleeping. I freaking want to sleep right now.
What the hell do I do to keep awake #_#7 -
This is just funny more then anything 😂
This guy has been fucking up non stop!
He did something incredible, we gave him precise EXACT instructions you couldn’t mistake them
What does he do? Everything wrong.
Granted what he does, works, but... it will take me hours to do what I want to do with the data, if he did it the right way, minutes!
All I wanted was all the active products for this company and their links on the site. He creates an export I can convert to google xml shopping.
What does he do? create over a 100 export buttons one for each supplier so it’s right but it’s all products for that supplier in one file.
So I can do my bit if I just combine 100 files together 😂
It’s funny because there’s already an export that does the exact thing we want just without all the right fields. This is what we asked.
He just needed to duplicate that and add more fields 😂 we think he’s doing it on purpose to be a dick 😂 no one can be that dumb.
I’m laughing cause it’s fucking ridiculous. He’s gonna get fired soon, and he knows it. -
Created a website for a client at a pretty low quotation. Set up 2 email accounts and provided step by step instruction on how to do it. Client now expect me to do it for all 13 of his employee with migration. For free. Told him i will need to charge extra for this, he claims that i didnt mention right at the start. Is this my fault? Should i do it? Please share.7
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I love doing what we do b/c we're always solving tough problems... But f@&k it sucks just before the right answer becomes clear! It always feels like it's impossible, until you're playing with your daughter and her Barbie dolls... Then it's a battle of not forgetting it....1
-
Just realized the button between my left and right click on my touchpad actually works exactly like you would press the scroll wheel on your mouse, in Linux!
Shame on you Windows, you didn't know what to do with it.3 -
Damn it I have to write a 5 sentence email to get the things going but I have kept myself from doing it because they might answer and then I would have to react to that and I dont know that I can do that right now.
-
Friend: I have a idea that will make us millions!
Me: okay, what is it?
Friend: oh its very simple, what I need you to do is build a payment gateway that supports X billing platforms, Y security protocols, crash proof, blah blah blah... Should be done in a week right?1 -
You know that stage you reach when you no longer feel like you can't format text without Googling how to do it, and you confidently build well-designed apps with elegant code?
That stage does arrive, eventually? Right?5 -
My biggest ambition? I'm working on a programming language as a side project right now. I'd like to get it to a point where id rather use my language over something like Python for small scripts. And maybe even do a larger project using my language.
-
Side project showoff
Why isn't it enough to develop a tool that even the end user likes? So many challenges to get it through to the right people.
I launched this project in January. Didn't have anything to do for the year before when I got back home from my internship. So made this lol.
Any feedback is welcome.
www.kwerious.com13 -
Have you ever worked with leaflet.js to display openstreetmap? I do and its great.
But now I want to display multiple markers on a map and the map somehow only renders random three markers. Wtf?
I'm lost. All results on google show me how to do it right, but it just doesn't work.16 -
Now let me just throw away most of this pre-work documentation from the PMs and do it right the first time.
-
More or less all questions related to socially adequate behaviour (hope I got the wording right)
To be honest, it makes me choke, too.
Especially when HR starts to throw bananas at the new chimp eh sorry dev ( WE do XY every week ... Oh and in christmas... Bla bla bla)
It feels like a huge privacy invasion... And very forced. Me no like.2 -
I feel like the pendulum on js frameworks may be trending towards simplicity. I see lots of devs complaining about complicated frameworks. Maybe it will trend to less js loaded solutions and maybe a return to simpler pages.
I dunno, one can hope right?
I don't do web development, but I see a lot of people that do and they all sounds like chain smokers and alcoholics. Something has to give.5 -
Got a new devops "manger" today we had an argument for 20 mins about why Staging/UAT was needed and why we could not just by pass it and get to prod quicker .. WHAT?! I am dumbfounded I do not have words to express the emotions I am having right now.2
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I started learning programming in college. I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to do but it sounded like I would enjoy it. And I was right!
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I am not able to decide what to do. I have two option
1. I am trying for jobs in IT. But haven't got yet. Either i wait for it or
2. I go with Non-IT job for now
I really need to do either of the two.
I want to make my career in IT bit right it seems tough3 -
Many many hours into b i g computation I realized I forgot to save the result :(
(I’m too defeated to cuss right now can one of the experts do it for me thx)1 -
new manager: draft a runbook consisting of like ~3 lines for marking a jira ticket as duplicate and closing it
.....like.....i can do this because it's what you want and you're my boss but something about this just doesn't sit right with me /shrug3 -
I'm discovering all I can configure with Arch... just figured to tell you, since if I don't do it doesn't count, right?...1
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I'm binge watching Person of Interest right now and I would like to know the community feels about it.
I feel that it is still futuristic and we aren't there yet. What do you think?1 -
Is it just me, or do REST API's literally rule the world right now?
Feeling like I can automate the universe.
But this is a real question. Are there reasons to avoid using web API's rather than sending data through some kind of shared database? I guess I'm not even sure what the alternatives would be right now... Are there disadvantages I should know about?3 -
And here we are again... so many paths to choose from, so much uncertainty. And, as usual, the most interesting companies are the slowest to respond.
Constantly wondering what's the right thing to do, and neglecting my current job while I'm at it...2 -
FUCK NVIDIA FUCK FUCKFUJCK FMUJCKFU IKC JCF THFUCKJ TEUFKCJ TUFKC TUCFKFD TFUCJ RUF FCUKC FUCK THEM ALL TO HELL
I'M WASTING MY GODDAMN FUCKIJJNG WEEKEND TRYING TO GET THE STUPID SHITTYAS SS GTX 1050 LAPTOP GPU TO FUCKING WORK on MANJARO AND IT SEEMS LIKE THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY IN HELL I'LL BE ABLE TO DO IT
FUCK THIS GODDAMN COMPANY
HEY, NVDA STOCK IS GOING DOWN SOON, YOU SHOULD ALL FUCKING SELL IT RIGHT NOW AND WARN OTHERS TO DO THE SAME10 -
Do you often have meetings with overseas colleagues? Do you notice cultural differences? Do you read up on what kind of business etiquette or anything similar they have there? Or do you just dive right into IT stuff?1
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Control your searches like an ADULT damn it!!!
So we have records that can have any of a bazillion different reference numbers associated with them. No big deal. Everyone does right?
Our customer's love to run reports and so we have this one option for "just look at a hell of a lot of reference numbers". I call it the 'fuck all' search.
Really it is just there to find something that you don't know where a rando string or number might be in the record and just want to do a "fuck all" search across a number of likely fields to find it... and then presumably you'd be an adult and refine your search from there. LOL yeah right...
Customers get lazy and include that stupid option in their reports and we get a lot of.
Customer: "I always run this report (that includes the fuck all search) and now it isn't working. I want records that have ID 2222."
Me: "Yeah well that was only working because you were rando typing '2222' in like several fields and it would find those .... but now you quit doing that so it won't find them. If you want ID 2222, click the drop down and search by 'ID'. That will find it right away."
Customer: "But I want to just search by 'fuck all search' to find it..."
Me: "But then you get all these other records too right?"
Customer: "Yeah but I just delete them out of the spreadsheet ... "
Me: "Look watch this <screen share> there, look all records with an ID of 2222 and no more extra records you need to delete!!! How great is that?"
Customer: "But why do I have to do it this way now, I want to do it the old way..."
ಠ_ಠ
(granted I could add their ID to the fuck all search but we try to avoid adding too much because it gets out of hand / stops being useful the more fuck all it gets)3 -
If you do not push something (language, education, people, cars, design, medicine ...etc etc) how the hell do you expect to mature, surpass expectations and become better. Java didn't start off as good or as bad as it is today. It was through testing, abuse, use and pushing it harder do more and more amazing things that it wasn't built for. PHP has changed alot since I started using and it's through people efforts that it gets better. Before the javascript wave came it was a nuisance to use and sucked as most browsers had it switched off by default but it's become more secure, fluent and able to do more amazing things and people are loving it right now.
I really wish people would stop with half arsed and uneducated comments.1 -
I'm still learning so take it easy on me, I'm trying to learn typescript and Factory pattern, hope I did it correctly this time :)
Link: https://pastebin.com/99AL3qah
Its only one class in hope I got it right so I can continue with the others9 -
What to do when you want to strangle a coworker, but he is probably just trying to do his job, the way he thinks , is the right way to do it ?3
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I just come back on this app to ask you, dear developers, to stop using ' for strings everytime, it is supposed to be for chars.
THANK'S YOU 🙃
Do it for the eyes of C developers, my eyes are bleeding right now.9 -
"So you follow this workflow and it breaks"
"Right, we requested that because they're not supposed to do it that way"
"..... But it breaks"
"Yeah it's fine though"
??!?
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PSA: Writing code right now? Taking a quick break to check your phone? Make your effin commit. Git, SVN, etc.... Don't care. Do it.1
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I can't stop myself from making my commit messages completely sarcastic or off the wall, which never makes sense to future me.
for ex: my commit right now is
"push it real good"
This does not help me. How do I stop?
lol5 -
I have a Java project due in 20 hours. All I have left to do is connect it to a database. Easy, right?5
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My family supported it from day 0, as I went to a specialized school to finish "high school".
They do push me towards more studying (I got a bachelor's in computer science), but idk if that's really the right call. -
My job description is software developer, and that's the thing I do less because I have also been assigned tasks from other areas that nobody wants to do. Yeah sure, make the IT guy do it, he's not busy and doesn't do much anyway, right? Oh but wait until they do need something coded...3
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Highload is like sex: everyone knows about it, everyone talks about it, everyone does it, but nobody knows how to actually do it right.
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One feature I had added to an app where it put the photos of developers in a circular frame. Apparently it used some library to do the task and when the app was ready to launch, there was an error.
Yes you guessed it right. It was my feature that was not only silly but also erroneous1 -
I hate going to bed with a headache only to wake up to a hundred emails about a feature they want in for that morning that the customer "needs" but has only brought up once before as a passing comment. Yeah, it was in the works but I don't have it done... I still have another 5 things to do before it gets done. I have an hour before you need it... There is no possible way to do this right now...
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When your client is right and you're happy because of that.
Your company says that something is not possible just because they don't want to do it, and the client replies saying it IS possible and a way of implementing it. -
It pays the bills and then some. And you realize over time the industry is not a meritocracy.... But who has the largest d***...
At a certain point you just don't give a fck anymore. Fighting the system is a waste of time and there are better things to do. So in the end it seems Wally got it right... Being Dilbert doesn't help much and probably makes it worse. -
contrarian dev guru types are just losers who couldn't make it in industry or business with their (lack) of skills, but are so sour and embittered they continue to shovel their own garbage on everyone else
god its just so annoying "oh i do it only this way, and its the RIGHT way, you must do it this way"
this UI feature that literally exists everywhere else? "oh no those are bad, no one uses it and its not a best practice"
get the fuck out of my way, you're just slowing me down2 -
If you host a contest, for fuck's sake, DO IT RIGHT. A 4 hour sprint coding contest? Oh boy, finally something I can find the time for! WOULD BE A SHAME IF THE SERVERS INSTANTLY STARTED CRASHING DUE TO OVERLOAD... 😤😤😤
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Why do people put the asterisk in pointer types right before the name, thus having it separated from the type? This doesn't really make sense to me, since in this case it isn't a runtime operator but a part of the type definition.2
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Been working on a Covid App in this quarantine. Right now it’s only on Android but still can get the view from the page below. Do give it a go..
https://neo7337.github.io/cvkavach_...
open for suggestion and bugs!3 -
How hard can it be to let sql just multiply some values and sum the results, right? As it turns out, damn hard!
I hear you thinking, surely you can just do select SUM(price*amount) AS total right? Nope! I mean, yes you can, but it fucks up. Oddly. It always ends up giving me wrong results. Always. Wtf sql? And it's not like I'm running a massive dataset or anything, it's like 100 records at most?28 -
I was suprised when I open source of amazon lumberyard forum website and saw reference to another website in comment :D This is the way how it's do it right.
4th row
Link here: https://paulirish.com/2008/...
1 -
We can do what your saying in a week and spend the following two months redoing it, or, we can help you get your shit straight for a week and do it right in a week. So, 9 weeks versus a two week sprint. Your call Batman. I really don’t care anymore. It’s the holidays, it’s cold, and money is a great fire starter.
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Colleague says some of my code sucks, says he's gonna rewrite and improve it.
After he finish his work, I look in his new written code:
F*ckload of unused methods and classes,
some usings of deprecated API calls...
god. It's okay, if you want to help and improve code (my code wasn't the best, I admit)... but when you do, do it the fuck right. -
Taught me just because something looks right it doesn't mean it is right. Ex: memory leaks, connection strings, 32 length passwords, and good looking women. Oh wait that last one could be a rant by itself cause you can't find a good looking woman that isn't crazy and won't wake you up if you do manage to get to bed1
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I crash and burn during coding interview questions. Every. Time.
I just do. It's terrible. It doesn't matter how much I tell myself to slow down and just think it through first before coding...I end up coding first after a short period of thinking about it. Don't get it right, freak out...and well I crash and burn.
It bums me out. The worst part is that I'm so distraught about it that I take a break, and sit down and solve it in like 10 minutes...of course it doesn't matter since it happens after the interview.
I just need to practice solving these things to get that mindset right.3 -
Seriously why does Android studio lag so badly.I mean it's beefed up version of a text editor( I love studio for it's innumerous IDE features).It eats away my RAM and you might have guessed it right,I do have 4 GB RAM. The application takes memory that is sometimes more than that of games.2
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Waiting to merge the rest of the team’s new code because you don’t want to deal with migrating your test account to a new backend until your feature’s ready, finally finishing your feature (!) and then seeing 100+ merge conflicts and realizing you‘re better off just re-implementing all your feature code into a new branch, & deleting every trace of your old branch so nobody sees the 1000+ merged commit mess you’ve made -_- today was supposed to be easy...
WHY WOULD ANYONE NEED THREE DEPENDENT SUBMODULES ANYWAY?!?! 😩1 -
I really don't balance social and dev life. I know I need some time to socialize but I just can't. It's like my life right now is in front of a computer and lines of code... Not that I don't like it, but I know I need to do other stuff besides coding, but I really don't know what to do and how to manage time. If anyone can give some advice, it would be great.2
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Aye i know we got a few musicians here, what daw do you recommend for a beginner? Im tryna use lmms right now and its not bad but there might be better ones. Main direction would be dubstep. Windows is fine and id keep it free or under $50 if possible.3
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Well, I'm kind of hyped about autonomous cars and there are a bunch of advances right now. But how do you protect such technology? It's not like my pc will explode or hit shit (with me tied to it) if I get some malware on it.
Do you have any idea on how people are mitigating this?8 -
Alright people could do with some help here!
Got a friend who is interested in learning how to code but I can't think of anything to point him in the right direction, he wants to learn it just so he has something to keep his mind active and give him something he can sit and spend time on...
Anyone know of anyone tutorials/articles/anything that could point him in the right direction?2 -
Is there a sane way to allow external styling of vanilla web components' shadow dom? Right now I do it by using 30 CSS variables, but I feel like there should be a better way.7
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Holy fuckin bullshit
What the actual goddamn the fuck
We have a Controller. It might be very complex. But Why. WHY is it MUCH slower if it is called from context a compared to context b...
I'm waiting for 5 minutes (!!!!!!) right now. Nothing is Happen...
In the other context I do wait ... NOT
🖕 -
Yesterday they was a designer or a developer, today they’re an “accessibility expert”.
Those kind of people are the worst, discrediting accessibility by thinking of it as a “I’m always superior because I do the right thing” card while they never really do anything but defending their own arbitrary emotional assumptions by calling it “fighting for human rights”.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/...1 -
Time zone just sprang into day time savings yesterday
I had a device monitoring data pollution on a roof that goes to a website. The thing didn’t fucking adjust bday the device stayed on standard time
I spent the entire day thinking what I should adjust for something that most countries don’t do any more why do we even bother with saving daylight.
In addition the timezone I wanted didn’t work right with pandas and I had to do the wrong way to get it “right”6 -
So I have heard some people talk about it and I guess I can't google the right words but what do I do when building c across platforms that may have the header files in different locations without needing to actually change the c code?2
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Do you ever get those moments if you wonder if you're in the right field? I'm not talking imposter syndrome or anything, just plain, you can't do it.
I've been staring at this cpp function for over an hour now, and I still can't decide where is the right place to return it. This is like every single day while studying cpp, and it's seriously beginning to dishearten me. I know it's just one of those things that'll come with time, but it's been nearly two years now and I still can't get it...6 -
I want to be a better coder and what better way to improve, than look at how the best does it right? 😁
So do any of you guys know a JavaScript/TypeScript project that is commonly known to be a masterpiece in the art of coding?5 -
I love how using the windows authenticator app sometimes just ends with "denied" status despite doing everything right to approve the request because, of course. Do it again.
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In that frustrated moment where the code is right but doesn't work...
Boss is a non-technical guy who's like I don't care just get it done and I'm just sitting here staring at the screen not knowing what to do...1 -
So right now I am in a DevOps job. And I'll do it for the next 5 months.
The question is:
Is a DevOps job a devRant job??
P.S.: Whenever I can I jump on hacherrank, because programming is a drug.2 -
Maybe it's hard to get CSS calc() right,
but to make it really complicated,
let SASS do its erratic magic on it2 -
Do your research on the company you're applying for, and make sure they can give you the proper learning environment and experience. If they can't, fuhget about it. You gotta end up in the right place.1
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Imagine if you could anything you want to do right now other than working like play games, watch a film, or sleep. That's your goal.
But to get it, you have to finish your work as fast and as effective as possible. Didn't finish your work? Sorry, can't stop. Hustle it.
The sooner it's done, the sooner you can do whatever the fuck you want.4 -
I need to code up a basic API/JSON consumption script and I literally just can’t bring myself to do it because I’m afraid to fail at doing it right. What is WRONG with me?! Am I the only person who goes through this kind of self-sabotage?4
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Microsoft? what a fucking joke
I do /remotelogout in skype. Next thing you know you can’t relogin with skype for WP. It says “*login successful, but we can’t log you in right now*”. Peace of shit.
On Android works with no problems, I wonder why WP has 0,00000000NULL% market share. -
Is client side rendering really that bad? Do you prefer sites without any JavaScript or are you ok with it?
To me it's very convenient to have JS in very dynamic pages. For things like documentation I think server side rendered pages are good enough. I mean it's 2017, right? Do we really need to care for those who deactivate JS? I mean I really like it to separate the front end backend.
What do you think?6 -
I started programming with Threads (in C#) I though it can't be this difficult after i get it how to create a delegate right (2 hrs) and interact with my form without a crash (after another hr, but it didn't do this what it supposed to do) there popped up errors kind of randomly out of nothing and I have no idea how to avoid or catch them😩4
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How fast do you actually counteract leaked password manages of your private accounts?
Right away? Only if the first signs of it malfunctioning appear?4 -
#WitchHunt: one of us is making websites that allow you to signup/login with Facebook, but still requires the user to enter a password to sign up! That's not SSO people!
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So my boss moved me to build some software to IoT devices we have because he didn't have the time to do it. But I haven't used C since college (I mostly use Java), but I'm trying to handle it. But right now we are developing a feature that is taking longer than expected and he comes over and tells me how easy it is to do it. Really? You were trying to do it that way for a shit ton of time and it didn't work, do you really expect it to work because it's me? Fucking hell!
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If you're too lazy to do things right, then I'm too apathetic to help you when things don't work.
One thing to not know any better. Another thing to 100% know better then disregard that knowledge because you don't feel like it. -
Any advice for when ur managers don't do their job well and if u say something is not done right, then they will let u do it?
FFS im tired that shit not being done right but im not looking for doing their job for them while they get paid more and sit in facebook3 -
And here I am... Trying to do this again, just out of curiosity. I must like inflicting pain on myself because it's the 4th time I try to do that. Every time I tell myself it could be some valuable experience, but everytime, I give up in the middle because I have trouble focusing on that thing.... Oh well, maybe this time it will be the right one.
Arch︵ /(.□. \）<-me
12 -
Am I the only one to fix incrementally worse issues with the wrong approach, only to do it right in the end (with minimal research and coding) - being left with 1000 unnecessary workarounds to remove :( happened over the last week or so with a personal Vue project...
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Project got in after months of the people requesting knowing the project needed to ve in a web form.
They didn't let my department know till right fucking now with only two weeks for launch time.
Yeh its a simple formz yeh I can do it, yeh you do own me a bottle or Knov Creek and a steak after this you son of a bitch, i got other shit to do1 -
You know it is not acceptable to not finally answer this goddamn question for myself or with some help !
PyTorch is driving me insane !
I follow the goddamn docs, practically just created a copy of the sample for the training portion, even if my design were to suck, the training steps SHOULD change the model parameters right ?
so if I do a...
model.parameters().clone() before training
and mode.parameters().clone() after training
torch.equal(p1.data,p2.data) should be false right ????6 -
Have been searching on this topic alot lately, but I cant find any good solution, in my opinion.
I have a system where I want to encrypt some data in the database, so it isn't in plain text, but how would you do it properly?
It has to be decrypted to view the data in the system, but how to manage it?
How can I store the keys in the right way? In my current trial, I have a encryption key and an iv, but wouldn't it be wrong to store the encryption key in the config file?
Can't really see how to grasp this the right way and in the same way have it as secure as possible.
Is it just stupid in general? -
Hypothetically, your parents partly own a company. They ask you to do some technical stuff for this company (They think its easy, but technically speaking its not. IT isnt magic), but you've got a graduate school, an unfinished research proposal, and a day job with deadlines to deal with. You still do it anyway. Do you have a right for some sort of compensation? Do you have the right to reject?12
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I’m so fucking bored..
we know there’s lots of requirements coming at some point and we’ll be as busy as it can get, but right now, we’re just sitting on our arses trying to find anything to do..
And working from home is not helping with the boredness.. -
Question time;
Do you guys pronounce the database query language as 'S.Q.L.' or 'See-quel'
Personally hearing the latter makes me want to punch the person saying it right in the throat.
*****edit
Please forgive the pea-roast, didn't check to see if this had been previously asked.13 -
In college right now, it seems that all my peers are way laid back than me and they think that I do a lot of things but I'm really confused whether to get laid back a little or continue working as I do. I know I sound confused right now but I am!3
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The freecodecamp beta is so ****ing buggy, all I want to do is brush up on my JavaScript and learn a little ES6 and nothing works and their validation is so terrible that I have to bring my code out and validate it somewhere else to make sure I’m doing it right. This isn’t a beta, it’s an alpha1
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Branch Staff Member: EFTPOS isn't working
Me: Are you logged in as the right user?
Staff: No
*staff switches user*
Staff: Still not working
*remote in and see software had crashed*
*check computer uptime* ... 38 days
Me: Give it a restart
Rant: why do people expect their issues to be resolved magically by IT when rebooting would (usually) fix it? -
Do you ever read and re-read the description of some up coming training sessions and it reads like porn to you?
And you're like, yeah, I picked the right profession. -
I feel like I didn't do this right and I'm a tad confused as to what they mean when they say that the function should look like this when you call it:
let line = openingLine(verb: "row", noun: "boat")
Is my solution correct?
10 -
Where do you place your desktop tower so it doesn't suck up dust. Per a previous rant, @sunfishcc was right there is a vent at the bottom and probably a very bad idea to place it on cardboard.... Or carpet. But what would be the best?
Would putting it on top of plastic be better?5 -
Not so dev related...but i want to share it. Do you see that in yhe right corner the title is "Animals" but in the picture the is a boat with title "boat". I think the boat is not an animal
3 -
Replace all the python scripts with Perl file extensions. It wouldn't really do anything because people would still be able to run things if they did things right, it would just be a harmless funny prank
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Do declare all the variables you're going to need at beginning of the function, or right before you're going to need/initialize it? What do you prefer.3
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For progress and success all you have to do is be the right person in the... holy shit, I missed it! Damn lag!
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What would be the one thing you can get it right or do it another way if you can go back to this morning. If its just morning there, last night?2
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I'm building my own google home/amazon echo any tips on good books about A.I etc?
Right now i have it in browser but later on im planning to do it in python and let it run on a raspberry pi
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