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Search - "go the fuck back"
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So, I needed a package installed on one of our Unix servers. The package manager--which is obsolete garbage--was failing with a message which can only be described as a variant of "Go fuck yourself". A quick Google search didn't help.
3 espressos and an eternity later, I have descended into a manic state. My hair has turned grey and I have started lactating. As a last-ditch effort, I try a new search query on Google, and the first link takes me to a forum with a thread discussing a similar issue. The last post in the thread has a solution which works for me. After fixing the issue, everything in the world feels right and I decide to thank the generous poster, who is like an angel to me at this point.
Guess what? The poster is none other than me. 8 months back, I had created a user account on the forum just to post the solution to a similar issue I had on another server.13 -
TL;DR: I “hacked” my thermostat.
I’m stuck with an annoying roommate in college dorms who apparently always keeps the FUCKING thermostat at 80F. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM. Every time I change it to like 73F, he changes it back to 80F Heat.
Getting tired of his shit for over a semester, I decided to do something about it. I looked up the thermostat made by HoneyWell and downloaded the product manual of it. Turns out, they have a system override ability to remove the heating mode and change the maximum and minimum values of temperature.
BOOM! I removed the heating mode and changed the minimum value to 70 and max to 74.
It’s 2AM here and I can finally go to sleep without sweating my balls off. I’ll keep you guys updated on his reaction hahahaha.28 -
So here I am in iceland watching Aurora with my gf, and suddenly I realized somewhere in my code at work I freaking forgot to add 1 to the denominator of a fraction. Shitty shit shit, gonna go back to work finding NaNs everywhere. Fuck fuck fuck10
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Biggest hurdle: torn between having boobs and missing an arm. I swear some people are under the assumption the brain is in the arm.
I am fully capable of building your network, resolving your outage due to your faulty code, can even tell you how many users your database can support at once. I don't need arms for that. Nor do my boobs distract me that badly.
"but men are going to make your life so hard" yup. And that's true no matter where i go
"all that typing with one arm can't be good for your back" welp. Find me a job that doesn't require a computer. Or manual labor. If you think typing will fuck me up, that's DEFINITELY out of the equation
"you're too pretty, there's no way this can make sense" dafuq you just say?!?!
"why don't you just stay home on disability, I'm sure you qualify, you wouldn't need to work" I'd rather be a fucking trophy wife if I'm staying at home. Fuck that.
And many more.
Sometimes they're fun. Give me more dumb arguments to counter? ;)55 -
At my study in the first year we had a Linux course and at the end we would all be graded.
Everyone was nervous as fuck except for me.
We had to go in one by one and everyone came back with this 'well that was damn close' face. Apparently the teacher was quite strict.
Then it was my turn.
It took about half an hour and we did the following:
- talk about Linux and the philosophy behind it
- talk about compiling programs
- talk about Linux servers
- talk about what distro's we'd used
- talk about DE's and which ones we preferred
- actual grading/showing my assignments: 'nah I believe you, you'll get a good mark!'
So I basically got the best mark with hardly showing anything because the teacher knew I could do it and rather just had an interesting convo with me 😁11 -
Welcome to the internet of 2019 after Article 13!
FUCK ARTICLE 13
MOST OF THE MEMBERS OF THE EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT WHO VOTED FOR ARTICLE 13 ARE OLD PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL USING KEY MOBILE PHONES AND HEARD OF THIS THING CALLED "INTERNET" ONCE IN THEIR LIFE.
THIS "INTERNET" ("Neuland") CAN'T BE THAT IMPORTANT, JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T USE IT IN YOUR FREE TIME?
I literally can imagine what the European parliament members think:
"The people will like it i guess!"
"What, you can chat with other people in the internet? NEVER HEARD OF THAT."
"I don't understand this 'Memes'. It is not funny and i don't like it!"
"My sons always much too long on his computer, this 'Internet' can't be good!"
I am sorry for the rage, but i just can't believe that people, who maybe mostly have never dealt with the internet, are destroying the future of self-fulfillment and free resources for everyone.
YouTube will start deleting channels who are not big enough, who are not sponsored or made by a big company. They will just delete them. And videos from out of the European union won't be able to be watched in Europe. Big companies will gain power over the internet(I know the partly already have much). Educational sites like Wikipedia and YouTube for example will die, but hey, FUCK MY LIFE!!!
FUCK MY FUTURE!!!
FUCK FIRST WORLD DEVELOPMENT!!!
WHY NOT JUST GO BACK TO THE STONE AGE???
FUCK OUR CITIZENS JIIIIHAAA!!!
"Nah i never needed YouTube. Or Facebook" + (we can talk about this one) + " Or Instagram. I never saw someone of my friends using it."
FUCK !!!
https://change.org/p/...34 -
Sales Guy: Hey Man, you know what? you should go back to college and advance your knowledge in Software Engineering. This way you will be an expert in programming and handling the Servers.
Me: I started programming at the age of 17 and started handling servers by the age of 18. Can I ask you something if you don't mind?
Sale Guy: Yea sure I don't mind anything
Me: Get the fuck out of here8 -
Do not continue reading if you value your life.
Visual fucking studio 2015 installation. MOTHERFUCKER !!!
OK new project will only work on VS2015. Need to download it. OK, go to MS website. Project works with community edition. Fucking great. Download the installer. Run the installer. MOTHERFUCKER DON'T OPEN THE FUCKING BROWSER TO THANK ME, YOU FUCKING FUCK. Ok...Wait to download the packages. One fucking eternity later download completes. FUCKING GREAT. Proceed to package installation. After two fucking hours installation progress bar stays the same. Google "vs 2015 installation stuck windows 7". MOTHERFUCKING BACKGROUND PROCESS IS FUCKING STUCK AND INSTALLATION DOES NOT CONTINUE. FUCK YOU. I'VE LOST TWO HOURS. OK, stop the process. Installation gets cancelled. Run the installer again. STOP THANKING ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT :@ OK, check again all downloaded packages. All good. Continue with installation. Installation completes. MOTHERFUCKER WHY YOU WANT TO RESTART THE WHOLE SYSTEM ? FUCK YOUR WINDOWS UPDATES. Ok, restart and be done with it. SSD to the rescue. Try to set up the project.
MOTHERFUCKER I DIDN'T INSTALL THE C++ PACKAGES. WTF WERE YOU DOING ALL THAT TIME? OK, run installer again and install C++ packages. I SWEAR TO GOD MICROSOFT, IF YOU THANK ME ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME, YOU'RE GETTING HATE MAIL.
Ok, installation completes. It's coding time. NO BITCH. VS2015 silently crashes after splash screen. :@@@ Google wtf is wrong again, turns out the C++ packages fuck shit up. Ok, pass some arguments to devenv.exe to reset. Restart VS. Ok, seems to be working now. Make a test project. Fucking awesome. Close VS and get the project files from perforce.
OK, files downloaded. Open VS again....
VS: "You're my bitch, you won't code today. Run from console and pass some shitty reset parameters"
YOU FUCKING FUCK. GO FUCK YOURSELF UP YOUR FUCKING ARSE. Ok, pass the parameters from console. Run again. Same "you're my bitch message" :@ OK, run with administrator rights, opens like charm. Run without admin rights again, "you're my bitch message". :@@@@@
Restart system, VS2015 finally opens project normally. Build project, 6934 errors.... :@ I'M DONE ! IM GOING BACK TO LINUX PROJECT. FUCK YOU ALL.18 -
This rant is devoted to my study friends. You see, I never knew what it was to not have people making fun of you/bullying you until I started my study.
Elementary school + highschool was one big mess of bullying, being made fun of and hardly having any friends.
At highschool I decided I wanted to go into IT. Especially programming. Programming in particular because when I was programming, I, for once, was the one in control. The code listened to me and for that tiny moment I was god.
Never really had much friends though and when I told my parents I wanted to do an MBO study (application development), my mother warned me that although she and my dad supported me with whatever my decision would be, MBO level studies were rough because of the general mindset/atmosphere there.
I thought fuck it, I want to do programming because that seems awesome and maybe I'll even make some friends with the same interests!
Then study arrived. Met a few guys with similar interests and we started hanging out together.
And then it came back just like before. Two guys who loved bullying and I was still a quite easy target because I couldn't stand up for myself.
But, then something happened. I liked a girl, she was in the hallway and two of the bullies (there were about 4-5 in total) got up and started fucking around with me (about her) and I just sat there, not daring to do anything with tears in my eyes.
Then two of my classmates noticed it, quickly came to my desk and started pushing the guys away with 'back the fuck off, what the fuck has he done to you?!'. Then one of those guys (now still about my best friend) came to me to see if I was alright.
We started talking. Then at some point, another bully had a go at me. This would be the final time. He was about 2 meters tall (I was about 160cm or something) and stood there in the door opening with a very nasty smile saying all nasty stuff, trying to intimidate me and probably tried to make me feel like crap again.
Nice guy on my right asked me to step to the left. Gave that guy a huge fucking foot in his chest and he smacked onto the ground. Made a gentleman's sign like 'go ahead, sir!' while gesturing towards the door.
From that moment on the bullying stopped. Throughout my study, some other bad things happened but those guys were always there for me.
Although I've lost touch with most of the guys (they're on social media, I'm not really), we still meet up once in a while and have a lot of beers while talking and laughing and thinking back to the good times we had together.
The study wasn't the best for what we were taught as in studying but it's the best choice I've ever made nonetheless.
Oh and that best friend and I still have loads of contact!13 -
Bought new headphones because my current ones' input fucked up again. Already ordered a new one for free but hours of traveling today without music isn't really an option for me.
New headphones don't work on devices without usb ports! 😭.
Went back to the store because I didn't know that and thought they were just failing and got it explained there. No money back because they were working fine.
Me: "well fuck me right now, then I'll just travel without music today :'(".
Guy: *grabs something from a closet thingy* "Here you go, a pair of earphones!"
Me: "Awesome! How much?"
Guy: "Enjoy your traveling man!".
😮
Thanks a thousand times to that guy!14 -
Fucking fuck fuck fucker fucking fuck
What a dumbass guy seriously. I have this colleague in my office who refuses to create a new branch because that will "ruin the single straight line". Are you seriously fucking kidding me??? The noobest guy ever doesnt know a third git command other than pulling and committing fucking nonsense. Why use git then? Just go back to creating zip files are maintain code. Fuck that guy too who hired him and now because of this fucking asshole I am not able to carry on my work.
Such so-called "developers" should be strapped to the back of a horse and the horse made to run on a gravel road for fuck's sake.. Fuck you man 🖕24 -
The only thing I hate about being the on call/standby server engineer is that I've got to stay up until midnight.
Right now I'm tired as fuck, just want to go to bed but I'm doing server stuffs because I've got to stay up for more than two more hours 😩
I don't even mind setting an alarm for 3AM to check if there've been any disruptions because I'll fall back asleep like it's nothing but the forcing to stay awake...
Just one more night!12 -
Software engineering is doomed.
The next generation of developers is going to suck as fuck
I've come across a lot of situation that made me think this way.
The most notable examples are right here on devrant.
I've seen a shit ton of rants blaming languages for "bugs" when in fact those "bugs" wouldn't have happened if those fuckers would have read the specifications of said languages.
This new generation doesn't read, when they've got a problem they just fucking go to Google for answers, they don't bother reading specifications, language books, rfc, etc, they don't bother reading where the true source of information are. The documentation ? What's that ? Let's go to stackoverflow first, let's think second.
Same back in school I've seen people in the highest grades that couldn't fucking decompress a tar archive.
In the coming decades we will loose the high skilled people, the people that made the software world as it is today we will be left with fuckers only able to blame things for stuff they don't understand.
This is my first true rant. This is me being pissed off.27 -
This was at my first internship (ranted about this before but hey fuck it).
- discovered several high critical vulnerabilities in their product. Wrote them down and kindly gave them to my boss/manager (they were the same person). He looked at me like 'the fuck' but I just went home at the end of the day. Next day, I got called into his office. I was a fucker, cancer guy who knew nothing about security, who would never reach anything and I shouldn't criticize their product (I had no right to because I was an intern).
- Bossman went to a meeting with a coworker to present their product. They came back to the office and it very clearly had gone pretty wrong. (we had nothing to do with anything related to the project including the meeting) he called us all bad things he could think of and it was all our fault and so on.
- I do have a transpiration problem but I can partly contain that when it's not too hot and the stress levels are okay. I was only allowed to sit in front of the window. YES IT WAS A MOTHERFUCKING HUGE WINDOW, 35-40 DEGREES FEELING TEMPERATURE AND NO MOTHERFUCKING AIRCONDITIONING. (okay gotta admit that one of the installation guys fell off the roof during the installation BUT THEN AT LEAST GET FANS OR SOMETHING).
Got called into his office multiple times because I smelled and 'couldnt take care of my hygiene'. I was literally sweating my ass off full-time so what the fuck could I do in those temperatures?!?
- my only project there: Google translating their whole CRM. Took us five weeks and the bossman kept pressure on us at all times which didn't FUCKING help.
Was fired after 5 weeks for hygiene reasons and because I didn't do my work well appearantly (still fuck translating all day).
One of the worst things? He pretended everything to go well until the first review came with my mentor (mentor == awesome guy). Then he talked shit about me like it was no-one's business.
I literally cried when I walked home after being fired.16 -
Fucking fuck.
Females in QA always use a hand lotion or a creme, so every damn door handle and every test device is constantly oily and moist.
I've told them multiple times that it needs to stop but they only told me I was pathetic (maybe I am), now finally few others also started noticing that any phone in their hand slips away every time.
Even after using a restroom and grabbing the doorknob of our office I need to go back, wash my hands again and then open the door with a napkin.
I hate dirty things and ignorant coworkers who don't give a fuck about others. I'll start wearing gloves probably.7 -
Excuse the profuse amount of profanity below.
Fuck this fucking fucked up motherfucker of a fucking director. Money does not make you a fucking decent person, and you come in here and tell me that you pay my fucking measly salary so I must be fucking grateful.
Starts off with a boardroom meeting this morning. Wireless connection on my laptop takes two minutes to connect, I get told that I am wasting company time and that the salary of everyone in the meeting is quite a lot ("with me being the highest"- cuntface director) so stop wasting time. Fuck you man, it's a fucking wireless connection. I am building your motherfucking company applications and doing web design and for what, so I can earn fuckall and be told that I am fucking wasting time. I am presenting your fucking site you wanted, so give me a fucking minute extra to start up the fucking wireless connection.
The fucking mails are taking long to send, great, let's come down and fucking scream at the dev who regrettably said he would try and assist IT (by calling the provider). I literally just got told that I am the following. 1) Fucking stupid 2) He is going to close the dept down because I apparently fuck up (yet again cuntface, your fucking mailserver is NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM) 3) He is going to contact an external company to come and check my work. 4) I am fucking useless. 5) I telling him lies (yeah fuckface, I worked as a sys admin, I know what a motherfucking DNS server is and what it does. you don't - so don't fucking tell me that I am lying when I tell you there is a DNS fucking issue, because you don't know what the fuck you are talking about - to top that off motherfucker, I FUCKING BUILT YOUR FUCKING SERVER AND YOUR FUCKING NETWORK. I FUCKING KNOW HOW IT WORKS AND WHAT THE FUCK I AM TALKING ABOUT).
On top of that, I got pushed out of the way of my own PC, my code got some fucked up gibberish in it (because he was trying to minimise my editor and he typed some in it, and now I have to fucking roll-back. He told me I am wasting company time and he will take my shit away from me if I download something again. It is an open network. I downloaded JAVA and fucking updated Sublime. Jesus man. What the fucking fuck.
"why is your gmail open?!?!" because I was testing your emails from an external network. "DON'T FEED ME BULLSHIT" (even though the top mail states "test"). It's the whole fucking "my money determines my dick size" mentality.
That being said, I got told that I need to work overtime, without pay, to resolve IT's issue, even if I have to on the weekend.
That being said,my new Dell that I had just bought (my own) got thrown on the floor and he fucked out of my office. Stupid motherfucker. I fucking earn nothing but cannot leave. I will find another job, and when I do - you can go and fuck yourself and your fucking degrading opinions. I am not fucking stupid, so fuck you.Fuck your company and fuck you. Cunt.33 -
A contractor at my old job was doing a development role and was constantly annoyed and the idiotic design decisions going into the website backend we were developing 🙄😒
When he decided enough was enough he could have easily written a really snarky email but instead he wrote the most sincere and professional email to his boss and the director thanking them profusely for the opportunity and hopes he would be welcome for future work with the business....👍
He was a really good Dev and the email made the bosses super happy thanking him so much and how much of a shame it was he was going....😍
He bcc'd me on the mail and when he handed his computer in he told me to open the email and highlight in full....👌
At the end of every line in white text was 'Go Fuck yourself' or 'Zero fucks given'
The bosses never realised... And I know he's been back there about 4 months now..... But shhh 😭3 -
Gahaa!!! Finally back home, after 7 fucking hours of sitting in busses and trains!
BUT I GOT MY NEXUS 6P!! Yoo-hoo!!! :D
And I've got a nice story about it.
So when I bought it, the guy selling it to me was a nontechnical type (I think?) whose wife was the previous owner. So I thought to myself, cool a nontechnical user used it.. probably no hardware mods or anything to worry about. Apparently they even factory reset it for me :)
Now, when I left to go back home, I of course immediately booted up the thing and did the whole doodad of logging into it, setting up the device etc.
Then it struck me. When I booted up the device and wanted to log in, there was a lock from Google that required me to first authenticate as either a previous account of the device, or their unlock pattern. So I figured, eh fuck it, I'll just flash some AOSP without GApps or send the owner an email asking what the previous pattern is.
But I still had to wait 30 minutes at the bus stop so I thought to myself.. previous owner was a nontechnical woman.. maybe I could crack it. No way to know if I don't try. So I started putting in random unlock patterns.
3 attempts later - I shit you not! - pattern accepted.
Do you want to add this account?
Oh boy Google, of course I do! Thanks for letting me in pal!
3 fucking attempts. That's all it took to crack the unlock pattern of an unknown person. 😎23 -
Wow this one deserves a rant. Where should I even begin? I got a new job for over half a year now doing work in an agency. We're building websites and online shops with Typo3 and Shopware (not my dream, but hey). All fine you might think BUT...
1) I have been working on the BIGGEST project we have all by myself since I started working at this company. No help, nobody cares.
2) If something goes wrong all the shit falls back to me like "wHy DiDnT yoU WoRk MoRE?". Seriously? How should one dev cover a project that's meant for at least two or three.
3) The project was planned four years ago (YES that's a big fat FOUR) and sat there for 3,5 years - nobody gave a fuck. I got into the company and immediately got the sucky shit project to work on.
4) I was promised some time to get familiar with the projects and tech we use and "pick something I like most to get started". Well that never happened.
5) I was also promised not to talk directly to our customers. Well, each week I was bombarded with insults, a shitload of work and nonsense by our customers because (you guessed it) I was obligated to attend meetings.
6) The scheduled time for a meeting was 30 minutes, sometimes they just went on for over two hours. Fml.
7) Project management. It does not exist. The company is just out to get more and more clients, hires more god damn managers and shit and completely neglects that we might need more devs to get all this crap finished. Nope, they don't care. By the way: this is not like a 200 employee company, it's more like 15 which makes it even sadder to have 4 managers and 3 devs.
8) We don't use trello (or anything to keep track of our "progress"), nobody knows the exact scope of the project, because it was planned FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO.
9) They planned to use 3 months on this project to get it finished (by the way it's not just an online shop, it has a really sophisticated product configurator with like 20 dependencies). Well, we're double over that time period and it is still not finished.
10) FUCK YOU SHOPWARE
11) The clients are super unsatisfied with our service (who would have guessed). They never received official documents from us (that's why nobody knows the scope), nor did they receive the actual screen design of the shop so we just have to make it up on the go. Of course I mean "I" by "we", because appearently it is my job to develop, design and manage this shit show.
12) My boss regularly throws me in front of the bus by randomly joining meetings with my client telling them the complete opposite of things that we discussed internally (he doesn't know anything about this stupid project)
13) FUCK YOU COLLEAGUES, FUCK YOU COMPANY, FUCK YOU SHOPWARE AND FUCK YOU STUPID CUSTOMERS.
14) Oh btw. the salary sucks ass, it's barely a couple of bucks above minimum wage. Don't ask me why I accepted the offer. I guess it was better than nothing in the meantime.
Boy that feels good. I needed that rant. But hey don't get me wrong. I get that dev jobs can be hard and sucky, but this is beyond stupidity that I can bear. I therefore applied for a dev job in research at a university in my dream country. Nice colleagues, interesting projects, good project management. They accepted me, gave me a good offer and I can happily say that in 6-7 weeks my current company can go fuck themselves (nobody knows the 10.000+ lines of code but me). Just light it up and watch it burn!20 -
Dells XPS are made of magic. [long story, major fuckup, 10k+ damages]
It all started in December. One morning I was late to work, drove there as fast as possible. (I live like 3 minutes away so me being late really meant *late*) Parked my car in a secluded car park, grabbed my backpack and ran to work. The car park is like 100 meters away from work so I took my feet into my hands and ran. Next thing I know my heels loose all grip while I go down a small slope and I drop on my back full force. On a sharp edged stone. With only my 1700$ XPS in it. Fuck.
I paniced, but got up and ran to work. I checked on the notebook, praying it would boot. It booted! Holy shit. I flipped the notebook and saw two small dents in the aluminum shell. I was thorougly impressed. I later discovered that it left a small shadow on the display, but given what a hit that was (I am not exactly a lightweight), impressive would be a massive understatement.
Fast forward to February, I am weighing my options to get the screen replaced maybe, as damage on my hardware (even if neglectable) triggers some sort of OCD and makes me feel bad 24/7. Also my laptop tends to shut off from time to time, looked into the Event Viewer and saw kernel panic. I figured that the battery probably still took a hit and that it drops voltage from time to time and the kernel assumes a critical situation, thus shutting off.
It stayed quite snowy in Austria up until March, so occasional snowing wasn't rare. Got out of work one day, saw it snowed a bit. Whatever. I had my moms car at the time, so I tried if it would slide a bit if I donut on the now (5pm) empty parking space. Nothing. Drove done a small hill, ABS triangle lit up red (board computer can't outbalance the snow). I drove out to the main street where everything was salted and drove along towards my house. Took a turn into my street, accelerated for a bit and then went off the gas so the car would smoothly drive along with the speed slowly degrading. So I went off the gas and noticed I was a bit to the right, no wonder, centrifugal forces.
*steers left*
"Huh seems like I need a bit more"
*car still doesnt move much*
"What the- go to the left!"
*steers left hard*
"Fuck that wall is coming closer"
*Breaks*
*car doesnt break*
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!"
Everything got quiet in seconds, me waking up to an open airbag, ripped pants, a hurting wrist, the radio somewhere on the ground and fumes that smellt like burning wires. I grabbed my backpack that was now somewhere on the floor instead of on the seat and ran outside, tears in my eyes and the phone on my ear calling my mom. I walked inside as she walked outside, hearing a weeping scream that I haven't heard from her since I am alive. While walking inside I noticed my backpack was wet on the bottom, my 2 litre water jug shattered when my backpack hit the dashboard. I tried to stay calm and act rational, knowing that every second counts when It comes to water damage. I hastely searched for some rice and a bag to put my laptop into, stuffed the bag with both and went outside. The car was totaled, my mom pissed and crying. And I was in shock, sad, angry and hurting.
I kept the laptop on my heater for a few days, bagged in rice. I dared to try a boot after a while and you wont believe me, it fucking booted. Even the keyboard backlight worked, just the screen was obviously broken in the back (no color distortion or bad pixel rows though!!) and the aluminum shell had a dent on the front. I talked with Dell Support a few days later, asking if it would be ok to open the XPS up so I could drain all of the water. She said yes thats fine, as long as I dont touch anything or screw around with it.
She said I can send it in and get it checked, but the pickup and analysis will cost 150$ and I can go from there.
I sent it in and estimated that, because battery, screen and other things probably needed changing, it will be around 900$.
Got a call a few weeks later:
"Hello beggarboy, the repair team reported back to us and said that they will have to replace everything, which will be 1700$."
"Fuck... Buying a new one is cheaper.."
"Yeah I know I am sorry about that, I can offer you a voucher so you can buy a new one for 250$ off if you would prefer that"
"Sorry but I will need some time to consider"
"I understand."
The agent clearly noticed I was bummed about it.
After going back and forth what to do I got another call a few days later.
"Hello beggarboy, we talked a few days ago. I have good news"
"Hello, yes, speak up?"
"I was able to get a special offer for you after putting in a few words..."
The next thing she said seemed unreal to me.
She was able to cut 600$ (!!!), making the new offer 1100$, instead of 1700$ or a new one for 1500$. I figured the reason she probably did that was because I am always very polite with support members. Always.
My XPS is back and healty again.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Dells XPS are made of magic.13 -
Dropped out of college. Got a job. Happily earning while doing what I love doing.
I still meet wise asses who tell me “...but you should still go back and get a degree...just to be safe”.
Shut the fuck up guys, just SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FUCK DEGREES22 -
Fuck stupid client.
Sorry:
Boss: client want to white label the solution.
Me: ok. They just need to create A record and send as SSL certificate and I will do it.
Client : here is your SSL certificate.
Me: spend whole night to make the transfer and setup server and check whole solutions one by one for reference to our company.
Next day wake around 2 pm to 100 whatsapp message, call from client and noss.
Turns out client IT team revoked the certificate without informing and the product stop working for all people.
Me: go to back to sleep.6 -
Although this is gonna sound like bullshit, this happened to me for real. Since that moment I use even more backup services AND I regularly check EVERYTHING.
Had a backup of my important data (still used mainstream services back then) on:
- Hotmail email attachments
- Google Drive
(Both link to another email account).
- A few data backup services
- DVD
- USB
- External HDD.
I wanted to copy some backup data over again:
1. Walk to my staple of HDD's, tried to grab it, somehow missed and knocked the whole fucking pile over. HDD broken.
2. Well fuck, let's go put some of my clothes in the washing machine for clean clothes at study/monday. After this shit being in the washing machine for just a few minutes, I realized my backup USB stick was in one of my pockets, in the washing machine. FUCK. Couldn't stop it so I waited till the end, tried it and well, it wasn't working at all anymore.
Fuck my fucking life slightly right now.
3. *remembers about the backup disc*. I forgot to keep it in its case, very deep scratches and so on, unreadable. FUCKING FUCK.
4. Right, I still have those online services! *tries to login to all of them (including hotmail/gdrive) but forgot the password. Well, let's login to my backup account then (hadn't used that one in years). Account was suspended for some reason.
Started to get really anxious because every online backup service was linked to that email address.
Contacted customer support. They really couldn't restore it because of some issues they weren't allow to tell me. Sorry but I couldn't retain access.
5. Well this is fucked up. Couldn't get into any of the backup/hotmail/gdrive accounts anymore.
I tried contacting their support but never got any replies.
This was the moment I realized I fucked up big fucking time because damn, this stuff at this level hardly happens to anyone.
FUCK.39 -
!dev related but fucking hell I need to get this out.
Could people (including friends) fucking stop to invalidate my favourite music genre?!
'Its just too hard', 'its so aggressive', 'its only boom boom boom'
Fuck you.
Always, al-fucking-ways at every party or wherever when people are allowed to put on music, whenever I'm allowed to, my music is turned off right away.
'Sorry but not everyone likes this and you're not the only one here'
I'm sorry, WHAT? I'VE LISTENED TO STYLES I REALLY FUCKING DON'T LIKE FOR FUCKING HOURS AND I'VE SWALLOWED IT ALL. THEN AT LEAST LET ME PLAY ONE FUCKING SONG ON A WHOLE FUCKING EVENING.
And nothing against metal peoples, really not but its nearly always the metal people who put their music on all evening and keep telling how awesome metal is and the second I mention my genre or out it on: 'oh but that sucks' *switches back to metal*
Go fuck yourselves. I'm swallowing this shit every fucking time but I'm getting fucking sick of this bullshit.
By the way, my favourite genre is raw hardstyle aka rawstyle.70 -
Couldn't sleep last night. Spent about 5 hours laying down reading devRant.
Mom calls taxi to go shopping. I'm starving so I go with her. The only reason I went was to get food.
Half way there, so tired I could fall asleep while standing.
I order my food. Walk to bus stop. An hour until next bus. Fuck it, I'll get a taxi.
Phone slips out of pocket while in taxi. Goes under seat. Can't grab a hold of it.
Driver says you can just get it from the back before you leave. It will be easier. I put my food down infront of me. And try one last time.
He then spends the entire trip telling me how all these customers keep leaving shit in his car, etc. Meanwhile we almost got into 2 accidents. Anyway...
So we get to my house, I pay. I get out and get my phone. I walk inside the house. Open devRant.
Wait, where's my food?6 -
This is a follow up on my previous rant https://devrant.io/rants/815062
I confronted her again.
I was told that I am useless and worth noting to this world, worth more dead than alive.
I was told that I will never get anywhere in life, and that the time I have spent watching Elon Musk interviews (amongst other ones, I do this for fun) is fucking useless, as I will never get anywhere ini life. Only low-life pieces of shit such as myself deserve nothing apparently.
I had to organise a place to stay with my family, but I couldn't for a week. I slept on the floor outside my workplace, and bathed at friends.
I have moved out, had to go get my own place. I have nothing, but I have my motivation back. I have my coding behind me, I have my motivation, I have my mind clear, and I have plans for the future.
I plan to fucking make a name for myself, and fuck everyone who has a fucking issue with it.
Will distribute the app sometime.
Fuck people who fuck you around.27 -
Fuck javascript
Fuck css
Fuck even html
And fuck web dev in general.
i can't do this shit anymore.
i've been working in web for ~2.5 years, 4 different companies, countless frameworks, technologies and tools and it feels good having that kind of knowledge and ability to do anything in this field, but god damn. I'm exhausted of "moving pixels" most of the time.
And i know, maybe different company and position would better suit me, but how often do people hire pure breed back-enders ? not that often, at least not in my country. Everyone has to do everything. And even then, php/sql/sysadmin/devops work doesn't motivate me as much. I need something that would make me actually think.
And so i decided to change my specialty, i'm going to follow my long lived dream - game dev (C++) :)
Oh i know, i'm not naive. I know how difficult and hard it is, but it seems like i've finally matured for it. So i've been waking up at 5 a.m and learning for ~3 hours before work for a few weeks now, and plan to go part-time at my work, after a few months (need to save up some money) for ~6 months, to focus on C++
Then hopefully i'll be able to land a junior position. If not, well, i wouldn't be a problem solver if i let that get to me :)14 -
So this guy called me. I hung up at the second 'ring'. He called again and I hung up immediately. I mean without picking up.
Please, get the hint, I'm fucking busy. Leave a message, I'll call you back if needed.
But don't try and contact me a THIRD TIME in a time frame of 1 minute. Not through WhatsApp. That's borderline harassment GO FUCK YOURSELF.11 -
> in da zone, headphones beating, caffeine rushing through my veins, snack-stack at 75%, code and commands flowing like campaign promises, I'm one with the keyboard... I can feel it ~(◉_◉)~
roomie: Hey J! J!
me: ಠ_ಠ I'm kinda busy, what do you want?
roomie: Dude don't forget to pick up bla bla bla
me: Okay
> Headphones back on, feeling the h4ckx0r fire resurge through my gut like a majestic phoenix (not to be confused with taco tuesday gut fire)
roomie: J...J! dude also make sure bla bla bla
me: ಠ╭╮ಠ I know, you don't need to be so specific with me.
> Headphones on...about to hit play again...
roomie: Dude do you happen to know bla bla bla
(ಥ﹏ಥ)
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
FUCK! just tell me everything at once so I can go back to ignoring you and the irrelevant world around me!
I hate when people do this.8 -
Day before easter holidays, a few years ago. It was evening and almost everyone had gone home. I finished a task, and immediately set off to do the next one, stressed as fuck, as usual. One colleague was left at the office, who asked me to at least eat something before I continued. I said I didn't have time, but after some negotiations sat down at the table, and realized I couldn't physically move the fork to my mouth.
I was having a panic attack. My colleague helped me with breathing excercises, gave me some pills and when I started to calm down a little, I said I'd better go back to work.
"No", she responsed, "we're going to the emergency"
I refused, since I had work to do, but she told me that I needed a person in a white lab coat to tell me that I shouldn't work for a while.
We went. The doctor gave me 3 weeks of sick leave, where I learnt a new word: No.
I thank the universe for not letting me get burnt out. I'm thankful for that amazing colleague.
I now work without stress, doing one thing at a time and saying no when my body says no.11 -
Dear diary,
Today is day 3 of Windows 11 for me, and after about an hour of gaming, everything got laggy. I thought it was an AV scanner taking its sweet time kind of lag, but then.... I couldn't switch back to the desktop, I couldn't launch the task manager, it was just a solid frozen brick, and then when I unpaused this game to go back into it.... it was frozen too.
So here I am , with a frozen machine, so I give up and attempt a hard reboot........ yep, your fucked too. Windows auto repair kicks in, and it freezes too.
So now I'm here, with a brick of a fucking machine, wondering wtf could have gone so wrong.
Finally, I've made it to the failed boot screen,
> bootrec /fixboot
permission denied.
🤔 dafuq you smoking?
Fine
> sfc /scannow
Permission denied
Ok.... I don't think I want to know how this works.
> chkdsk /f /r /x C:
Yay something fucking runs
.
.
.
no issues 🤨
Fuck it, reboot.
Oh, now you want to fucking boot you piece of shit.
Now to understand how the fuck you can get a permission denied when your running CMD before boot 😐18 -
So, there is this company (let's call it A) with an average idea, who got the android app and webservices from a company(B) . The service was awful but cheap. The owner of the A was a friend and gave my company the handover to manage the project. I actually ranted about that on wk11(The worst project). Now, The project was terrible. It took me months to give it any real structure, fix the services, make it compatible with iOS. Now, that majority of the work was done, suddenly we were too expensive and the work was being given to another company while much of our payment wasn't going to come(Friggin company politics). But, guess which company did the project now go to, it was 'B'.
After a couple of weeks I see, inline styles and js errors start emerging on the website.
Tell you what, if there's any justice in this world, he will one day come back to me and then I will respectfully tell him to fuck off!
Thank goodness there's devRant to just whine about this shit!2 -
Yesterday, the whole dev team went out to lunch and we ate a lot and we drank a lot until we all got drunk! Since we are paid for the number of hours we work, we all decided to go back to the office and work.
WE WERE DRUNK WORKING! Drunk coding ftw
Result: The server is down right now because someone fucked it up and I think i ruined my code yesterday because I wasn't really myself. The whole team was crazy as fuck. One of us just came back from Poland so we were drunk and high from all the polish chocolate we ate.
I hope they fix the server so I can check what kind of bullshit the drunken me did yesterday o.O8 -
Multiple weird ones but one specifically where I fixed a bug over and over again and the second I pushed and deployed, the fix was gone both locally and remote.
I kept going more and more crazy and had rage attacks and such.
"Wait what, I changed and fixed this.. Let's try again"
"Huh, I definitely changed this..."
"Oh no, I fucking changed you"
"Go fuck yourself, I fixed this and pushed already, you can't just fucking disappear on me!"
"Oh yeah no of course, disappeared again, totally fucking logical. GET BACK HERE"
"I FIXED YOU A GAZILLION TIMES ALREADY, DON'T YOU DISAPPEAR ON ME AGAIN"
*NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. I. FUCKING. FIXED. YOU"
It went worse and worse for a while and then I woke up with a "....ahh" feeling 😅2 -
So this shit happened today...
We were asked to implement a functionality on the device that allows it to go to standby mode to save battery power. Once the device enters that state, it can only be woken up by actual bus-network activity, and usually that means connecting a shit-ton of wiring harness and network emulation devices... Before implementing and releasing the device software that does this, we told that fucktard customer how difficult it would be for him to connect to the device without such a setup. He seemed to be fine with it and said rather arrogantly that we should implement the requirement as asked...
Well okay you cock-sucking motherfucker, you'll get exactly what you asked for... We implement the functionality and deliver the software...
Now this pile of shit comes back running his mouth on how the device tears down all its interfaces (to reduce power consumption) and he can't connect to the device anymore.... Well what else were you expecting you dickhead.
To make things worse for me apparently he runs to the manager describing his apparent problem. Both of them come to my desk.. With that fucking Bastard hiding his smugly mug behind the manager's back... He thought he was going to have the upper hand... Well guess what fucked piece of shit, I came prepared... I showed the manager how this was a part of the requirements by throwing that JIRA ID in their faces... The manager seems to understand but this relentless fuck wanted me to implement a "workaround" that would allow him to connect to the device easily... The manager almost had me implement that workaround, when I expose a huge security flaw in doing so. Guess what, now the entire team comes to my desk and start supporting my statement... To make it better they also tell how doing so will violate other requirements...
I've never felt so happy in my entire fucking career, when the entire team stood by me and watched that asshole drag his sorry ass back to his place5 -
These mother fuckers know when I'm packed up and ready to go to work and decide that's the perfect fucking time to call me. WHY COULDN'T YOU CALL WHILE I WAS STILL LOGGED IN AND DIDN'T HAVE TO LOG THE FUCK BACK IN, WAIT 90 YEARS FOR THE VIRTUAL MACHINE TO LOG ME IN and then tell me your issue self resolved. Come down to my office and bring me coffee for being so damn annoying before I'm sufficiently caffeinated.4
-
Once had a classmate schedule a meeting with me to "go over something" for a project we had together. (Not a CS class, but it was a general education class.)
I agree, make time on my schedule for this meeting.
I get there and they say "Yo I just wanted to let you use my flash drive so you could make some changes to the PowerPoint I started last night. Just get it back to me a few days before the project is due and we'll look over it together."
You asshole. Go fuck yourself.
This lesson taught me to ask what meetings are about in order to prevent this bullshit2 -
TL;DR: Fuck you Apple.
10:30 PM, parent needs iPhone update to update Messenger. How hard can this be?
Need to update iPhone from 9.x to latest, which is so outdated it still required iTunes. Fk.
Boot iTunes on Windows 10 pc that is at least 10 years old.
Completely unresponsive
Crash in task manager
Launch and is completely unresponsive. (Also starts playing unrequested music.. Oh joy..)
Fuck this, go to apple.com to download iTunes exe
Gives me some Microsoft store link. Fuck that shit, just give me the executable
Google “iTunes download”. click around on shitty Apple website. Success.
Control panel. Uninstall iTunes. (Takes forever, but it works)
Restart required (of fucking course).
2 eternities later. Run iTunes exe. Restart required. Fk.
Only 1 eternity later. Run iTunes, connect iPhone.
Actually detects the device. (holy shit, a miracle)
Starts syncing an empty library to the phone. Ya, fuck that.
Google. Disable option. Connect phone. Find option to update.
Update started. Going nowhere fast. Time for a walk at 1:00 AM punching the air.
Come back. Generic error message: Update failed (-1). Phone is stuck installing update. (O shit)
1x hard reset
2x hard reset
Google. Find Apple forum with exact question. Absolutely useless replies. (I expected no less)
Google recovery mode. Get into recovery mode.
Receive message: “You can update, but if it fails, you will have to reset to factory settings”. Fuck it, here we go.
Update runs (faster this time). Fails again. Same bullshit error message. (Goddammit, fuck. This might actually be bad.)
Disconnect phone.
… It boots latest iOS version. (holy shit, there is a god)
Immediately kill iTunes. Fuck that shit.
Parents share Apple account
Sign in, 2FA required.
Fat finger the code.
Restart “welcome” process.
Will not send code. What. The. Fuck.
Requests access code on other parent’s iPhone.
No code present. What???
Try restarting welcome process again. No dice. (Of course)
Set code on other parent’s iPhone.
Get message “Code is easy to guess”. Ya. IDGAF
Use code on newly updated iPhone. Some success.
Requires reset of password.
Password cannot be the same as old password (Goddammit)
Change password.
Welcome process done.
Sign in again on same phone after welcome process done in settings. (Nice.)
Sign in again on other phone with updated password
Update Messenger.
Update hangs. Needs more space.
Delete shit.
Update frozen in App Store (Really??)
Restart iPhone.
Update Messenger.
Update complete past 2. Well that was easy.
Apple, fuck you.
Some call Android unintuitive, but I look at the settings app on iPhone and realize you aren’t any better.
This company hasn’t been innovative since 2007. Over 1000 USD for a phone? Are you fucking kidding me?
Updating an iPhone from iOS 9.x is probably uncommon anymore. But this is a fucking joke. Fix your shit.
Shit like this is why I’ll never again own an Apple product. I have HAD IT with the joke of a business.
Thanks for reading.17 -
So... my girlfriend has a very random work schedule. Sometimes she works 4 days a week sometimes only 1, sometimes only at the weekend sometimes not at all. If only there would be an app to track that... 🤔
She tried quite a few apps on the app store but they were shit/ugly/too complex..etc
Wait.. i’m a developer, i can do that.
So i made a dead simple calendar-like app in javascript+fuseopen.
She selected the colors, background, layout etc..
If she taps on a date it turns red indicating that is a workday, if a workday is tapped it turns back to normal color.
The main logic is:
Main:
If(AppHasSavedWorkdays){
//check if save is current month
LoadCalendarWithWorkdays();
}else{
CreateEmptyCalendarAndSave();
}
She likes it.
Cool, so let’s build this! She has an iphone and my mac is still in the service center so i can’t build🙁
But its okay, i have a mac at my office, we can build there, the only downside is that is 40min of travel.
We take the subway, go to the office, build the app, make a certificate, install to her phone, everything goes as planned.
Coming back we were lucky enough to catch the bus that goes in 30 min intervals, we only had to wait like a minute so life is good 😃
I enter the house, chill down on the bed, pull out my laptop to close the project when a FUCK ME!!!!
I completely forgot to implement a whole else branch on start!!!
Soo the app does nothing when is opened on january 1😂😂
I guess that’s why we have testers and qa.. 😃8 -
In an alternate universe, devs live in their own country.
They make their own rules and dictate how much they are paid. They maintain the entire world’s infrastructure.
They don’t go to work, since their entire country is the workplace and guess what? Cold beers are free(a thank you from the beer company guys for coming up with all their inventory management systems)
Pizza is free too.
There is no government (laws are passed depending on upvotes on devRant )
No racism, sexism or any other ism ending words . Devs just code.
Oh, and the state police, preferably known as keyboard warriors patrol the streets and offenders are punished by limited internet speeds. 😂. It is said some actually commit suicide because of this unbearable punishment.
Fuck yeah they have coffee farms. That’s the only thing they don’t accept as *gratitude from other nations because those sons of bitches might fuck that up too.
And everyone drives teslas 😂
Okay I have to get back to work now. That multi universe travel machine won’t buy itself.15 -
Hashedram's compilations #1
List of most annoying website designs.
1) Pages with AUTO PLAYING VIDEOS.
Yes I'm looking at you Netflix. Along with every news website known to man. I'm looking to read a fucking article, so why would you even waste your money and bandwidth trying to shove a video of some shit I don't care about in my face, and make it follow me as I scroll down like a fucking insecure puppy. Also, fuck you Instagram.
2) Pages that redirect once immediately after you visit them, thereby fucking with the browser history and the BACK BUTTON just leads back to the same fucking site.
I mean, just why. Did you think I would just go "Hey the back button doesn't work so let's stay on the site and read their awesome content"?
3) Sites showing things in a SLIDESHOW, when it actually should be in a list.
Slideshows are for progressive stories or for showing lists where you don't care about what's in them. Top 10 foods that reduce weight. Slideshow 1/15. Fuck you.
4) LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE USING AN AD BLOCKER
Yes. Yes I am. No I will not turn it off for you, you narcissistic snowflake fuck. And don't even try to guilt shame me into turning it off, because I know you're just going to bombard me with videos of sexy singles in the area if I do.
5) Pages where I see the first 3 lines of an article and have to SUBSCRIBE to see more.
Yes. Brilliant fucking idea. A user wants to see what your site has to offer, so within the first three seconds, don't show him exactly that.
6) Looking up an article and having to read through the entire motivational life story of the author.
I just want to know how to boil eggs, not read about your journey across Africa learning how to make difference recepies using boiled rhino dung.
7) CLICK BAIT.
Title: School boy designs blockchain machine learning game engine
Actual Content: Tic tac toe program made using linked lists6 -
This is a sad rant. Today I went over to one colleague to discuss one technical appetite I had. This colleague of mine is a very good in his skills and I never had any issue sharing my problems. Then this other colleague come over and jumps in "what's the problem tell me". I just tell him of some things I do not understand then this 2nd colleague the fucker asshole starts loudly pinpointing my lack of understanding of this and to prove I don't know more he starts asking very deep questions on the same topic. I am surprised and furious and feel like fucking him out. Above this he pats on the 1st colleagues back and start talking in things which they solved and skills they possess above the rest and admiring each other
You tit of the asses you fucker 2nd colleague go fuck yourself if you have so much attitude.
I left with mixed sadness and this huge rant against that fucker colleagues who think they stand above all because it's fuckers like you with your shit attitude of nothing.7 -
Boy, this Monday mornig was crazy...
At 7 am, as I just left my flat, I received an ultra urgent email from the CEO of a company we exchanged the fileserver for, that the network shares are not available.
I instantly turned around, went back to my flat, fired up my HAL9000 supercomputer and connected remotely.
4 levels deep (PC => VPN => Remotedesktop => vSphere Client => VM) I felt like I was in the movie Inception and tried to figure out what happened.
I don't know why, but in the logs it said that the fileserver VM was down since 4am. Holy sithlord... why?
After restarting and the usual problems with Windows Network Names, everything was back online.
My special thanks go to Mr. Coffee, who is always a great companion during monday mornings, Mr. VPN, the great fellow who invented the VPN and last but not least "The Internet" for connecting me to a world of binary, where every idea finds a listener and where Ajit Pai can be memed without concequences.
FUCK YOU Ajit. Harlem Shake is so 2013.2 -
-made a password-protected zip to backup my homedir
-launch the update to Fedora 28
-oh look Jessica Jones season 2 is available on Netflix
...
Some hours later
-Fedora 28 boots
-copy back my backup.zip
-shit what's the password already
-proceed to bruteforce the zip
-let's go back to Netflix while it's doing the job
...
Some hours later
-password: test
-proceed to self-fuck4 -
Hi
Aaand, I can't even post a rant with so little chars... Yet coworkers and customers find it ok to only write hi and wait for me to respond.. Just write what the fuck you want in one go so I can decide if I really need to jump, or I can get back to this later..32 -
FKING. LANDLORD. FKING LANDLORD THINKS MY LAN CABLE SLOWS THE FKING INTERNET BACK TO THE 1990s.
- Prologue
I'm renting at a place that looks good af. But the fking wifi is so slow, 80% of the time you can't even send an empty http request.
- Chapter 1
Okay, maybe it's my laptop. *plugs in cable*. Now the requests fail 10% of the time. Better than nothing. 2 hours later, gets a text saying other housemates are having slow internet because of me. FUCK. Unplugs, LAN cable, uses mobile data and cries to sleep.
- Chapter 2
Tries again after a few days. Barely uses the internet (I'm only using it to play games, not even download it and I used more than this with a 2mbps internet). No videos, no music, just small data exchange with a low ping. GETS A FKING TEXT AGAIN
- CHAPTER 3
My sis comes over and complains that the net is slow af. Plugs in LAN cable while no one is around, everything is fine. Sis leaves, I roll up my end of the LAN cable in my room but leave the cable plugged in on the outside of the room. Next morning, it's unplugged. Plugged it back in before I go to work and when I come back, guess what? ITS FKING UNPLUGGED. AGAIN. AND IM NOT EVEN USING IT.
SOMEONE PLEASE STOP ME FROM GOING ON A RAMPAGE SHOVING THE FKING CABLE AND THE ROUTER UP PEOPLE'S ASSES. LAN FUCKING CABLES DONT SLOW THE INTERNET BACK TO THE PREVIOUS CENTURY. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE NOT EVEN PLUGGED IN ON THE OTHER SIDE. FUCK.23 -
> replaces HDD with SSD in weak-ass laptop, powers it on
> "wow, this is really fast, pretty cool"
> powers on ultrapowerful HDD based desktop pc
> AURGH WHY DOES IT TAKE MORE THAN 0.01 SECONDS TO OPEN THE FILE EXPLORER I CAN'T LIVE WITH THIS SHIT GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU USELESS PILE OF CRAP
> goes back to weak-ass laptop
> contentment
'tis true, once you experience the glory of SSDs you can't go back to HDD based systems.6 -
The ultimate "I am vegan" guy will be arch linux user, vegan, trans, crossfitter and cryptocurrency investor. I've just met guy like this in my job. He did not shut up for a while. I am not sure whats he doing and whats his job but my guess is that hes paid for spreading cancer, sucidal toughts and eatig your will to live and talk with people...
R - retard
M - me
R: Hey CopyPasteCode I found this bug, it does 'this' insted of 'this'. *spreads arms to see his "muscles"*
M: *headphones off* Ok, I will look into it... *headphones back on*
R: Btw you invested something in the crypto, didnt you? Ive invested... ...bitcoin... ...crypto... ...litecoin..., do you think that... ...something... ...bla bla bla?
M: *tries not to kill myself after his 5 minutes of monolog* Ye sure
R: By the way Ive found this awesome vegan restaurant that accepts litecoin, would you like to come sometime?
M: *10 minutes monolog about vegan food and shit. At this point I want to die* Ok, I will now work on that back, see you later.
R: ye sure bro (wtf, "bro"?)... *looks like hes walking away* *teleports on my otger side touching my monitor*
WOW you are also a Limux user? 😮 Ivr installed arch linux this weekand and its so awesome, *another 6 minutes of monolog*
M: *smiling and preparing to kill him or myself* Nice, awesome *fake smile*
R: Anyway, I gotta go (FINALLY!!!), btw, I am going to the *name of local trans and gay club*, wanna go with me?
M: *after a month after a breakup with my GF (because she was cheating on me) which everyone in the office knew...)* Not really *trying to thing how to say "fuck off" without having meeting with HR*, I cant, I already have somethimg.
R: Oh, ok. Btw, you are rly cool bro (again), we should hang. We should hangout more often...
I hope someone is paying me for loosing 27 minutes with this guy.14 -
Been a while since my last real proper rant.
Multiple projects. Business side going into panic mid. Devs are staying cool as usual.
We, devs, have to hold hands so they don't completely break down.
We are wasting precious time in order to rub their feelings.
Get. Your. Shit. Together.
Or atleast, go cry in a corner AND LET US FUCKING WORK.
STOP. FUCKING. SPAMMING.
Can't fucking work for more than 10 mins.
I go take a shit, I have 200 notifications when I'm back.
Omfg their lives must be so hard, really. How can you fucking go into full retard whenever there's a small roadblock.
DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOB. And let me do mine.
As soon as you let us work, issues are going to be solved, you'll be less stressed and everything will be fine.
Keep asking the same questions over and over, arguing on non-critical things (who cares about wordings... it's 1min change) and the stress will only build up for everyone.
DAMN. Fuck off, fucking emotional idiots.8 -
Fuck today.
Today I was supposed to go into work and set up a dozen or so units for beta testing (its been a year and a half coming)..
Got up nice and early to get a head start on things. Stubbed (and broke) my motherfucking toe, then spilled my cereal milk on my laptop.. subsequently spend the following 2 hours tearing down and cleaning my poor little lappy. Get her all put back together, starting to feel a little better about the day. Push the power button, and fucking nothing but a tiny little fan noise for half a damn second.
With this luck I don't even want to move, lest a magic falling anvil decides to adorn my head..7 -
>Have 64gb memeory stick with software and precious memories (back ups of childhood pictures and stuff)
>Go to girlfriend's house
>Let her borrow it because she needed it for photography (pictures in the TrueCrypt file take only about a quarter of the drive)
>Get dumped by girlfriend after a while
>Shrug and be a little sad
>Find out that i dont have a local copy of what was there
>Don't have courage to ask for it back or even speak to her
>Cry because of now gone data
>Cry because no back ups.
Moral of the story is dont fuck with your back up and also, don't give people precious data, even the ones you trust at the time.4 -
Really fucking sick of people taking my coffee mugs on the drying rack and taking them back to their desk. It's not yours. It doesn't have our company logo or your company logo. It's obviously not yours so don't fucking touch it.
This is the second coffee mug of mine to go missing in 16 months. You work at a tech company buy your own fucking mug or open your mouth wide and catch your hot bean water you fuck.13 -
Racism is still a thing in Germany...
At 11 am, I parked my car in to the right parking lane. It didn't cross any line. A woman in her 50s had the door to my side open and still didn't decide to close it, when I was parking.
Anyways, I got ready to get out of the car. All of the sudden, she knocked on my door. I did open the window.
[Short break: S=She and M=Me]
*Dialogue starts here*
S: How dare you park here?! Over there *points to the next parking slots next to her car* is enough place for your car.
M: I am allowed to park here. Plus, I am not crossing your lane. Aside from that, your door was open. Close the door first (before you fucking yell at me, you bitch - I didn't say this tho.).
S *completely ignores what I just said and focuses on my first phrase*: Of course, you are allowed to park here. But you are also allowed to go back to Turkey! *goes back to her car*
M *completely shocked and thinks about what I have been doing wrong and how Turkey is even related to this parking situation*: FUCK OFF!
*notes her license plate*
*finally gets out of the car. locks it. walks slowly in front of her car, when she just wants to drive away from the parking slot just to annoy the shit out of her with a big ass grin in my face waving at her*36 -
Okay so even at my advance 52 years of age, I still pull all nighters to handle emergency remediation projects, and clean up other peoples messes. I don't mind, I'm a geek, I get high on the challenge of fixing shit that is broken all to hell.
But tonight was different. Tonight has me raging.
I am tasked with renovating a website, and building a sister site to that main site as well. no bother, I haven't done any web dev in 15 years but I'll power through pulling 18 to 20 hours a day for a couple of weeks to get in the groove...
Little did I know... CSS is a pain in the ass to be sure, but FLEXBOX is total and complete bullshit.
I don't give to shits about all the fancy shit it can do, it can't do simple shit worth a damn. Fuck Flexbox, and anyone involved in producing that useless layout model.
The sheer number of idiots promoting that hunk of shit a solution that is to be applied to any task other than wiping my ass is astounding.
Fuck all you jerk offs out there posting your shitty mark up turds as if they are gold, when you know better than anyone it works, sometimes, then doesn't, and is so easy to break it may as well be called "Web Design Jenga".
I'm still tired as hell, and tomorrow I will go back to slogging through CSS as the layout method, but at least I feel a little better now.
Oh and before I forget FUCK YOU FLEXBOX you piece of shit.14 -
This is probably gona make me sound arrogant, but fuck it, you don’t know who I am, and I need to RANT!
I hate it when B.A.’s who have never studied UI or UX rail-road over my design decisions, and I just gota go along with it cos they in charge.
Then, when I make the interface the way they want it, all sorts of problems arise… Mother fucker, I saw this shit coming, and that’s why I designed it the way that I did.
Now I gota tell them how to solve the problems by doing what I originally said, and when they finally see the light, I gota waste more time re-doing the interface.
I once went through 5 fucking iterations of “Let’s try it this way”, Just to end up back with my original design spec cos these fuckers can’t even imagine what shit would look like, and how it will interact.
Now you would think after this happens a few times they would learn to trust my design skills, but noooo, Mr B.A. has to piss all over my ideas every time.
And every FUCKING time, we end up going back to what I originally proposed…
Learn your fucking lesson dumb ass!!!
*drops mic & goes straight to the bar*9 -
EXCEL YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! don't get me wrong, it's usefull and kt works, usually... Buckle up, your i for a ride. SO HERE WE FUCKING GO: TRANSLATED FORMULA NAMES? SUCKS BUT MANAGABLE. WHATS REALLY FUCKED UP IS HTHE GERMAN VERSION!
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT .csv? It stands for MOTHERFUCKING COMMA SEPERATED VALUES! GUESS WHAT SOME GENIUS AT MICROSOFT FIGURED? Hey guys let's use a FUCKING SEMICOLON INSTEAD OF A COMMA IN THE GERMAN VERSION! LET'S JUST FUCK EVERY ONE EXPORTING ANY DATA FROM ANY WEBSITE!
The workaround is to go to your computer settings, YOU CAN'T FUCKING ADJUST THIS IN EXCEL!, change the language of the OS to English, open the file and change it back to German. I mean, come on guys, what is this shit?
AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON ENCODING! äöü and that stuff usually works, but in Switzerland we also use French stuff, that then usually breaks the encoding for Excel if the OS language is set to German (both on Windows and Mac, at least they are consistent...)
To whoever approved, implemented or tested it: FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID SHITFUCK, with love: me7 -
I've come to a conclusion today: Management are fucking with me. I know it sounds far fetched, but its the only thing that makes sense.
I was in a meeting today, discussing some bad emails back and forth. Part of my issue was the amount of time spent on useless meetings, or waiting around to give demos.
The meeting got cut short, so I could prepare a demo for a VP ... after an hour and a fucking half of waiting around ... theres no time to see my demo.
What the actual fuck, seriously .... seriously what the actual fuck. What if the name of mother fucking christ is going on with this team, that they call me into a mother fucking meeting to discuss the "developers attitude" only to go and cut it short ... so they can fucking waste my time ... for the second time in 3 mother fucking days.
Oh i'd rather fuck myself with a cactus than spend the rest of my days dealing with this utter bullshittery. -
So this happen on my previous workplace. I worked there for 4 years and quitting was the best decision I made while was there.
One manager/owner there was the most toxic, piece of shit, disrespectful cunt I have ever worked with. The type of guy that comes in and every person's productivity goes down in a heartbeat.
As he was a owner he usually came in later. This one morning it was 11-ish and a meeting with a client was happening and it was an open space.
He comes in.
He puts his laptop down.
He sits.
He screams of the top of his lungs:
- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
- ANTS ALL OVER MY DESK!!!
- I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS.
He leaves for about 30 min.
He came back with a can of spray, and literally intoxicated the office and everybody had to stop working.
And there you go one of my last place's beautiful stories.5 -
Fuck.
I ordered something online.
Autofill fucks up my address but I don't notice it. Get the notification that it's out for delivery. Go check my PO box after I see the USPS driver leave the complex. Package isn't here.
What the fuck?
Check the email only to notice I fucked the address up and there's literally no street name. Just my apartment number for the PO box. Well hopefully it gets taken back to the USPS store and I have to pick it up bc if not, then God only knows where it's at because I sure as fuck won't.11 -
Fucking cloud providers always trying to steal your shit and spy on your things, fucking prying eyes. That's why i've decided to go back hosting my own private cloud from home. Running on some very energy efficient shit: dual core intel atom cpu (so slow that it can't fucking run windows normally), 16gb of ram, because why the fuck not? and 1tb 2.5"hdd, along with unlimited data - 100/100 Mbit/s internet connection with a server response time less than 95ms just to backup my shitty Iphone selfies and cat pics, host some very important files and regularly back up my contacts. This shit runs CentOS, Nginx, https, bitch! This platform is more trustworthy than your shitty dropbox or whatever other shit they offer you. I can choose whether i back-up my shit from local network or over internetz, Costing me no more than 25€ annually(just to keep the machine on 24/7/365).14
-
A few months ago I was working on a (totally underpaid project) where my friend and I had to basically rewrite the entire program our client was using.
So we started planning and wrote all sorts of documentation to show the client our ideas for the new flow of the program, the new structure of the GUI and a few more details of what would the inner workings of the new app. He seemed to like all those ideas and gave us the green light to go through with the project and start coding.
We spent a couple of months coding, redoing the front end from scratch (with a different framework even, so I couldn't reuse any code from the old version) and completely redesigning the back end so it would be better, faster, more scalable etc etc etc. During this process, we obviously showed the progress of the app to our client, explaining everything we had been doing, and he seemed to like every new version we showed him.
When we were in one of the last stages in development (basically sending versions of the app to the client for evaluation), the guy suddenly changed his mind. After agreeing on everything we had been showing him over the last months, he sent an email saying:
"...the new system makes the app too complicated. I want this program to be as simple to use as possible; so we should revert the "Policy" system to essentially what it was in the last major version. The only change I want to make is [...] and everything else is essentially the same as the last Policy system."
So basically he wanted us to FUCKING UNDO EVERYTHING WE HAD DONE AND REVERT THE FUCKING PROGRAM TO THE FUCKING VERSION HE HAD BEFORE HIRING US!!!! WHAT THE FUCK????
YOU WANTED US TO CHANGE YOUR APP AND THEN YOU SUDDENLY CHANGE YOUR MIND AFTER 3 FUCKING MONTHS WHEN THE PROCESS IS DONE???
GO FIND A SWORDFISH TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS, IM NOT WORKING FOR YOU ANYMORE
God, it feels good to let that out.4 -
Visual Studio Code.
I've tried you because of hearing a lot of good stuff about you. I'd switch back to netbeans regardless because I love netbeans and I always try to use as little as possible from companies like Google/microsoft/facebook (and others) but what you're pulling right now is un-fucking-believable.
I've disabled ANY AND EVERY form of calling home I could (find) in your settings. Crash reports, automatic updates, metrics, you name it. I've searched all the fucking settings but I can't find any other home calling thing that's enabled and yet:
I'm monitoring every goddamn DNS request (through my own DNS server) and I'm still seeing calls to a Microsoft owned domain. Closed all my browser sessions and you as well and it stopped. Started browser again but not you, nothing.
Started you again: BAM. Calls to that damned Microsoft owned domain again.
If you can't honour my decision for disabling any form of home calls, go fuck yourself.
Netbeans, I'm back, I've missed you 💜35 -
So I'm sick. But my inner coder tells me that I could atleast do some basic design for my project.
So I go to sit down at my home computer and immediately feel my nose literally start dripping of snot as soon as I lean in to sit. So lile any normal man i take a tissue, wipe and blow my nose and it's now time to login on the computer.
*Wrong password*
Oh, I've must been to quick
*Try again*
*Wrong password*
Wtf?!
*Slowly type my password in*
*Wrong password*
*Fuck it, show password*
A space is missing.
Alright I'll just add it in then.
*Tap spacebar*
*Nothing*
*Tap harder*
*Nothing*
So I rip out the space bar and find a two little drops of snot that must have juuuust fallen between the cracks.
I tried to wipe it away and put the space bar back, but it's dead. :(5 -
You know, I am getting really fucking irate posting them rants about how shitty my job is.
I'm more than fucking competant, but this company is turning me into a blithering, raging, frothing maniac.
I am sitting doing my devOps at the moment. On top of that I am the network admin, the sys admin, the sec admin, the fucking fuck admin (you get the point) and now I am being told to go out and work in the field because "The technician is busy with calls, and doesn't have time". These calls are ALL FUCKING PRINTER CALLS. SET UP USERS TO PRINT AND FUCKING SCAN.
I am not being a shithead by saying no. I have spent the last year or so doing favours for these bastards, I don't get any compensation in any form for it, and it is just making my life hell. The reason I went into devOps is so that I don't have to fucking deal with shit like this. I spent years in the field, and I fucking hated it. I was good at what I did, but I fucking hated it.
Now I am back there. They earn more than i do, those printer techs, but I am doing their fucking work for them. I have even made them simple little fucking scripts so that 90% of their work is done in two clicks.
Fucksakes. Now my motherfucking right shift key doesn't want to operate properly. Been using this keyboard for about 6 years now, and now it decides to fuck out. Fuck.
As standing, I am fucking sick and fucking tired. I am drinking energy drinks and mass amounts of coffee just to stay functional (because I sit up until 12AM trying to get through all my work - everyday of the week). Reported to tech director, doesnt give a single fuck. "Stick around, things will get better".
Yeah, fuck you.
Seriously thinking about freelancing.
Don't know if it pays well though.3 -
!!oracle
I'm trying to install a minecraft modpack to play with a friend, and I'm super psyced about it. According to the modpack instructions, the first step is to download the java8 jre. Not sure if I actually need it or not, but it can download while I'm doing everything else, so I dutifully go to the download page and find the appropriate version. The download link does point to the file, but redirects to a login page instead. Apparently I need an oracle account to download anything on their site. stupid.
So I make an account. It requires my life story, or at least full name and address and phone number. stupid. So my name is now "fuck off" and I live in Hell, Michigan. My email is also "gofuckyourself" because I'm feeling spiteful. Also, for some reason every character takes about 3/4ths of a second to type, so it's very slow going. Passwords also cannot contain spaces, which makes me think they're doing some stupid "security" shenanigans like custom reversible encryption with some 5th grade math. or they're just stupid. Whatever, I make the stupid account.
Afterwards, I try to log in, but apparently my browser-saved credentials are wrong? I try a few more times, try enabling all of the javascripts, etc. No beans. Okay, maybe I can't use it until I verify the email? That actually makes some sense. Fine, I go check the throwaway inbox. No verification email. It's been like five minutes, but it's oracle so they probably just failed at it like everything else, so I try to have them resend the email. I find the resend link, and try it. Every time I enter my email address, though, it either gives me a validation error or a server error. I try a few mores times, and give up. I try to log in again; no dice. Giving up, I go do something else for awhile.
On a whim later, I check for the verification email again. Apparently it just takes bloody forever, but it did show up. Except instead of the first name "Fuck" I entered, I'm now "Andrew", apparently. okay.... whatever. I click the verify button anyway, and to my surprise it actually works, and says that I'm now allowed to use my account. Yay!
So, I go back to the login page (from the download link) and enter my credentials. A new error appears! I cannot use redirects, apparently, and "must type in the page address I want to visit manually." huh? okay, i go to the page directly, and see the same bloody error because of course i do because oracle fucking sucks. So I close the page, go back to the download list, click the link, wait for the login page redirect (which is so totally not allowed, apparently, except it works and manual navigation does not. yay backwards!), and try to log in.
Instead of being presented with an error because of the redirect, it lets me (try to) log in. But despite using prefilled creds (and also copy/pasting), it tells me they're invalid. I open a new tab container, clear the cache (just to be thorough), and repeat the above steps. This time it redirects me to a single signon server page (their concept of oauth), and presents me with a system error telling me to contact "the Administrator." -.- Any second attempts, refreshes, etc. just display the same error.
Further attempts to log in from the download page fail with the same invalid credentials error as before.
Fucking oracle and their reverse Midas touch.10 -
Holy fuck the Instagram Android app has the WORST UX I've ever encountered!
I'm a professional Android developer and my girlfriend had to explain how to see a specific "story" more than once; IE; tap on it until it rotates round to the first! But tapping on a video post turns on the sound! What kind of dog shit for brains moron designed those interactions to be the same?
I can navigate around the app until all but one of the tabs displays a profile page when I navigate back to it. Lost much?
The center tab breaks that but only because it opens up a whole new screen out of nowhere, (bye bye bottom bar!) which repeats the "photo capture" that you can also get by swiping left on the left most tab!
Don't even get me started on the swiping! None of the tabs swipe between each other, like the convention, oh no. But some of them can swipe, yes!
The first tab swipes left and right, where the hell do they go you ask? Look for the obscure icons at the top (oh and bye bye bottom bar again!). The forth tab swipes but only to the left, they have text tabs like standard. That screen that comes up out of nowhere I mentioned? That can swipe too, but now the text tabs are at the bottom for god knows what reason as the top is empty!
On the profile tab we have more tabs. These are icon tabs inside the content now. The first two change the post content from a feed style to a grid, okay, so far so good. The other two? You'd imagine they also change how you view content right? Nope, one shows your favorites, and the other replaces the whole screen with a "photos of you" screen! With not only the bottom bar still showing, but an up button! Where the fuck do we go "up" to on the home screen??
Then we have the bookmark icon on the toolbar, which opens up a new screen "Saved", guess where that tabs are this time? They're back at the top! You know why? Because the navigation bottom bar is still there!! And there's an up button!!
At this point I'm just about ready to kill myself using this fucked up, backwards facing, ass for a face app that is somehow one of the most popular platforms on the earth, yet seems to have been made by five different designers on opposite ends of the planet!
FUCK ME!!6 -
Finally it was my turn to receive a call from the now infamous Indian "Windows Technical Support Department" from a spoofed out of service 1-888-425-6866 number. My wife and I are on vacation we had just gotten back from the beach and she was taking a shower so I had all the time in the world to play along with them. It is too long to type out but it was extremely entertaining especially the bits that happened after I finally informed them that I own a Mac. The final thing he told me on the phone before hanging up was to go fuck my sister and I felt I must have performed well to deserve that.6
-
Why dont you go to vacation?
Its summer why dont you go to vacation?
Just came back from summer vacation at my cunts place where have you traveled?
Why dont you travel?
You're a student! Youre so young and you should go to vacations more often! Why dont you go?
Youre so young! Why dont you travel more often?
How come youre a student and dont like taking vacations?
I traveled at a cumdumpster, pussylicker, shitsmeller, dickbigger, lickthicker and titkisser countries this summer! Which country have you been at vacation?
Heyy where are you going for the summer vacation? Cause I'm going to sukmikehok!!
Omg ive been in Mike Oxmaul country as my summer vacation. What about you?
You didn't travel? What is wrong with you?
You didn't travel? Omg you're like soooo weird!!
You didn't travel? You're so boring i dont wanna hangout with you
You dont like traveling or you already traveled for this summer vacation?
Etc...
------
I get asked these fucking questions all the fucking time.
THEY ASK IT LIKE TRAVELING COSTS 0 UNITED STATES DOLLARS. 0 USD.
THEY ASK IT SO SOFTLY LIKE TAKING A VACATION IS FUCKING FREE OF COSTS AND REQUIRES NO FUCKIN EXPENSES.
WHY DONT I? GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING WALLET MOTHERFUCKER AND I WILL FUCKING TRAVEL THE WHOLE WORLD WITH IT WHILE CONCURRENTLY FUCKIN UR MARRIED WIFE AS SHE RIDES MyH FAT COCK ON THE BOAT IN BAHAMAS.
FUCK YOU
ANYONE WHO ASKS ME THESE DUMB FUCKIN QUESTIONS MAKES ME GET A BOILING BLOOD AND AN URGE TO PUNCH THAT CUMLOAD IN THE FKIG FACE
HHHHHHHHHHHHH15 -
Dear Australian Government and National Authorities, you can go fuck the right away with this shit!
It’s bad enough we are a country of national data collection with flimsy laws of obtaining access to said data, but to then go that one step further and shove back doors into everything is going too far.
https://news.com.au/technology/...
Under the proposed new laws, Australian government agencies could compel companies to provide technical information such as design specifications to help in an investigation, remove electronic protections, assist in accessing material on a device subject to a warrant and even build or install software or equipment that could help authorities gather information.
What could possibly go wrong 🤷♂️2 -
So just finished the presentation for my internship project. I'm free now!(and can sleep normal times too) But I have a few things I need to get off my mind. Dunno if it'll seem a bit stupid to some of you..but yeahh....
Anyway, during my demo yesterday
Lecturer: So this project of yours uses some open-source stuff?
Me: Yeah.
L: And if the company wants to use if for commercialization they need to pay for the license?
M: Thats basically it. Yes.
L: Well, see..thats the problem with your project. You need to think of all this things. If there's no other options then just code the whole shit yourself. Or maybe discuss with the management on this.
Yeah...see, I doubt the management here cares about us anyway. Oh, you're working on your intern stuff. Not important. Just resize the pictures in my powerpoint will you? Oh and you want to use the company computers for your project? No can do..confidentiality stuff. But make sure the thing will work on our system anyway when you're done with it. And even if you use our computers, they restart everytime you open Word anyway..hahaha. You want access to this thing so you can learn a bit on our company's work. Sorry but no. EVERYTHING is confidential so you can't access it since you're interns, eventhough our company is the one that took you inanyway.
Manager: Oh, the thing you're making is pretty cool. You know,all of you can just give your systems to us later.
Friend: Yeah well, maybe we can ask the company for payment? Haha.
Manager: Hahaha well the company can just take your systems for free since you're doing it on our working hours.
Fuck. You. When we ask to do our stuff you said noooo its the company hours. Do our work. And do your stuff back at home or something. Oh, but then we'll drag you around the state to see the clients, and you'll reach home at 8-9pm or something, but of course you're not tired right? So just code then. Or you're not going anywhere today? You're still not allowed to code here eventhough you don't have any work though...so just sit there and be quiet. Or maybe shred my papers for me. Fuck your working hours.
Lecturer: And well, thats the problem with some students *looks pointedly at me* they want to go to non-technical companies so that they can have it easy. Your friends who go to other companies will learn a lot more.
Do you think I fucking want to be here??? This is the only company I got so fuck that. Even when I get different offers and apply to change companies, you go nope. No can do. Stick with your current company eventhough we know that its shit for IT students because its a big company, see? And we have our university's reputation to upkeep. I came here to learn, not make you the No.1 university or something. And its not like you, or the staffs here, help us with anything.
So fuck all of this. We're gonna tell the other lecturers to stop sending students here. You don't learn anything. I'm done with this shit, not gonna think or worry about it anymore..I'll just, go get cake or something. Yeah.3 -
Saw some cheapie little radio in the dollar store, bought 2 of them for reverse engineering. Powered it from my lab bench power supply as usual, and tested whether it actually works before doing anything else.. then I noticed that the tunes were actually quite catchy, so I just ended up listening.
Then I started to notice that the audio wire I was using (the one I've spent a couple of days building earlier) had intermittent audio issues where the right driver would drop out when the wire was held in certain positions. Oscilloscope probing showed that there was some sort of disconnect, with only the 50Hz noise from the power lines showing up. Opened up the connector and noticed that the ground wire had detached. An 28AWG electrical wire that was inside a jack that was meant for stress relief! Yet the copper strands must've detached one by one regardless. What do I need then, huh?! 18AWG which wouldn't even fit on the connector, only to see the strands in that eventually detach as well?! You know what, let's go fancy.. 1AWG which is meant for extremely high current applications!!
At that point I was literally shouting "FUCK!!! Why does this shit always happen to me?!! ONE FUCKING PROJECT THAT FINISHED SUCCESSFULLY, YET STILL BROKE?!!!! WHY!!!!!!"
Clearly I need some fresh air to cool down. On my way to the fast food restaurant to get some Bicky burgers. More shit, humans. One stupid driver who slowed down on me, which of all things I hate the most. GO FASTER ALREADY YOU SLOWFUCK, AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!!! Next a pedestrian with a dog.. I swear motherfucker, if that dog comes anywhere near me I'll personally turn it into fucking fricassee.
Ah and then comes the killer.. in this stupid fucking summer, all that's needed to fix any issue is a fucking stupid DESPACITO, right?! More like DeSPASTICo!! FUCK!!!!
.. Back home, rather tired. So essentially a wire that was specifically built to have high endurance broke on me. Back to Bluetooth I guess.rant fuck the planet fuck humanity fuck everything fuck despacito fuck despastico fuck life fuck me fuck humans fuck the world fuck this shit fuck society2 -
So I got an e-mail from a recruiter (a.k.a. recruiter spam) today looking for a candidate with four "essential skills" and my head almost exploded when I read what they were. I have regained my composure just enough to be able to write this rant, but I'm still not myself. I recommend sitting down for this. Are you ready?
The four "essential skills" were:
Java, Jenkins, Eclipse, IntelliJ
I don't know where to begin. Motherfucker, where do you get off telling me which IDE to use? Oh wait, you didn't, you expected me to be an "expert" with two completely different ones, you numb nuts. Why the fuck would I be? I swear to fuck these idiots would probably screen out the best programmer in the world because s/he uses VI/emacs/Atom/Sublime/fucking-Notepad.
I can hear them saying "oh, you don't know IntelliJ? Sorry, we need an expert in that."
Fuck off you filthy cunt! No, sorry, I take that back, I shouldn't be mean to the mentally disabled.
Also, Jenkins? Really? Any developer can pick up how to use Jenkins to its full effect in a matter of hours, or a couple of days at most.
Why do companies hire these jackasses to do a job as important as recruitment? Why do they write job specs that are so incredibly stupid? I almost replied to express interest so I could go to the interview and throw a bucket of red paint on them (because they're making me bleed inside).
Where's the Tylenol?5 -
I started hearing about Git about a few years ago (I think I was in the first or second class of my study, am in the fifth now). I understood the concept but found it really hard to work with, as in, so hard that I just didn't use it. It kept coming back again and again and a few months ago I thought: Fuck it.
What is one thing that a lot of devs are good at? Automation, exactly. So, I had a GitLab account (idc about their recent fuckup, will keep using it) and had to keep asking people to set stuff up for me.
I started to do research and stumbled upon the empty repo page from GitLab which provided clear instructions on how to locally do stuff so I could interact with a remote repository. Then I started to bash script.
After one day, I had a fully working bash script which, with just two parameters, initiates a new repo, clones it locally, creates a README.MD and commits + pushes it.
Then I put it as executable in the /usr/bin.
So now, whenever I start a new project, I just have to create a directory, go into that directory and call a command with two parameters and I'm good to go!
Actually pretty proud of that, although it might be the most usual thing for a lot of peoples, I wrote a workaround/automation thingy for the thing I find the hardest in development :).25 -
Yay, it's Monday!
And as Monday's go, there's a prod deployment, cool beans! 30 min later it's done!
So why the rant?
Because I'm on FUCKING ANNUAL LEAVE YOU BITCHES!!!!!
Fuck it, it's done, I'm going back to bed.rant can't catch a break work is it to much to ask for i just want a day off no time off for the wicked2 -
Listening to professor tell stories about when he used to develop, is like listening old war stories.
Back when I was in university, this teacher would tell us different stories about his days as a developer. This was one of the last ones, and I think it has not changed much since then.
*Phone rings*
Professor: Hello?
Client: I don't know what the fuck you take me for!
Professor: Oh, hello Client_Name. What seems to be the problem.
Client: This doesn't work! There's nothing here!
Professor: Ok, do you see the program file?
Client: No. I just said that there's nothing here.
They proceed to go over the issue and how to get the program to run. Or at least show up on the PC. This goes on for about 30 minutes.
Suddenly my professor has a thought.
Professor: Have you tried inserting the Floppy disk from the other side? Try flipping it.
Client: ...4 -
So I'm back from vacation! It's my first day back, and I'm feeling refreshed and chipper, and motivated to get a bunch of things done quickly so I can slack off a bit later. It's a great plan.
First up: I need to finish up tiny thing from my previous ticket -- I had overlooked it in the description before. (I couldn't test this feature [push notifications] locally so I left it to QA to test while I was gone.)
It amounted to changing how we pull a due date out of the DB; some merchants use X, a couple use Y. Instead of hardcoding them, it would use a setting that admins can update on the fly.
Several methods deep, the current due date gets pulled indirectly from another class, so it's non-trivial to update; I start working through it.
But wait, if we're displaying a due date that differs from the date we're actually using internally, that's legit bad. So I investigate if I need to update the internals, too.
After awhile, I start to make lunch. I ask my boss if it's display-only (best case) and... no response. More investigating.
I start to make a late lunch. A wild sickness appears! Rush to bathroom; lose two turns.
I come back and get distracted by more investigating. I start to make an early dinner... and end up making dinner for my monster instead.
Boss responds, tells me it's just for display (yay!) and that we should use <macro resource feature> instead.
I talk to Mr. Product about which macros I should add; he doesn't respond.
I go back to making lunch-turn-dinner for myself; monster comes back and he's still hungry (as he never asks for more), so I make him dinner.
I check Slack again; Mr. Product still hasn't responded. I go back to making dinner.
Most of the way through cooking, I get a notification! Product says he's talking it through with my boss, who will update me on it. Okay fine. I finish making dinner and go eat.
No response from boss; I start looking through my next ticket.
No response from boss. I ping him and ask for an update, and he says "What are you talking about?" Apparently product never talked to bossmang =/ I ask him about the resources, and he says there's no need to create any more as the one I need already exists! Yay!
So my feature went from a large, complex refactor all the way down to a -1+2 diff. That's freaking amazing, and it only took the entire day!
I run the related specs, which take forever, then commit and push.
Push rejected; pull first! Fair, I have been gone for two weeks. I pull, and git complains about my .gitignore and some local changes. fine, whatever. Except I forgot I had my .gitignore ignored (skipped worktree). Finally figure that out, clean up my tree, and merge.
Time to run the specs again! Gems are out of date. Okay, I go run `bundle install` and ... Ruby is no longer installed? Turns out one of the changes was an upgrade to Ruby 2.5.8.
Alright, I run `rvm use ruby-2.5.8` and.... rvm: command not found. What. I inspect the errors from before and... ah! Someone's brain fell out and they installed rbenv instead of the expected rvm on my mac. Fine, time to figure it out. `rbenv which ruby`; error. `rbenv install --list`; skyscraper-long list that contains bloody everything EXCEPT 2.5.8! Literally 2.5 through 2.5.7 and then 2.6.0-dev. asjdfklasdjf
Then I remember before I left people on Slack made a big deal about upgrading Ruby, so I go looking. Dummy me forgot about the search feature for a painful ten minutes. :( Search found the upgrade instructions right away, ofc. I follow them, and... each step takes freaking forever. Meanwhile my children are having a yelling duet in the immediate background, punctuated with screams and banging toys on furniture.
Eventually (seriously like twenty-five minutes later) I make it through the list. I cd into my project directory and... I get an error message and I'm not in the project directory? what. Oh, it's a zsh thing. k, I work around that, and try to run my specs. Fail.
I need to update my gems; k. `bundle install` and... twenty minutes later... all done.
I go to run my specs and... RubyMine reports I'm using 2.5.4 instead of 2.5.8? That can't be right. `ruby --version` reports 2.5.8; `rbenv version` reports 2.5.8? Fuck it, I've fought with this long enough. Restarting fixes everything, right? So I restart. when my mac comes back to life, I try again; same issue. After fighting for another ten minutes, I find a version toggle in RubyMine's settings, and update it to 2.5.8. It indexes for five minutes. ugh.
Also! After the restart, this company-installed surveillance "security" runs and lags my computer to hell. Highest spec MacBook Pro and it takes 2-5 seconds just to switch between desktops!
I run specs again. Hey look! Missing dependency: no execjs. I can't run the specs.
Fuck. This. I'll just push and let the CI run specs for me.
I just don't care anymore. It's now 8pm and I've spent the past 11 hours on a -1+2 diff!
What a great first day back! Everything is just the way I left it.rant just like always eep; 1 character left! first day back from vacation miscommunication is the norm endless problems ruby6 -
Google cripples ad and tracking blockers: In January, Chromium will switch to Manifest V3 which removes an essential API in favour of an inferior one. As usually, Google is being deceitful and touts security concerns as pretext.
That hits all Chromium based browser, such as my beloved Vivaldi. The team argues with their own browser internal blocker, but that's far worse than uBlock Origin. One of Vivaldi's core promises was privacy, and that will go out of the window. The team simply doesn't react to people pointing that out. They're fucked, and they know it.
So what now? Well, going back to Firefox because that will include the crippled new API for extension compatibility, but also keep the powerful old one specifically so that ad and tracking blockers will keep working. Google has just handed Mozilla a major unique selling point, and miraculously, Mozilla didn't fuck it up.26 -
TL;DR age != competence
My boss is a fucking computer illiterate self taught programmer.
Don't get me wrong, he can do shit, pretty shitty but it gets done...
But the dude has 38 fucking years old and somehow still searches for keys on the fucking keyboard and struggles to touch type anything...
I sometimes crying the fuck out when I have to help him with something...
I'm having a mini fucking panic attack right now just thinking of it... Fuck
He is our "manager" but doesn't even have the fucking balls to confront his own subordinates when they need to be confronted... Everyone is aware of this and everyone is fucking around... And no one sees any consequences... I wonder why deadlines are always missed...
He is so passive that every fucking thing someone asks he goes and says it is OK...
I was studying same psychology about ignorance and I think he lacks the understanding that shit is hard to do...
We literary had a conversation the other day something like that:
Boss: so, what do you think? One call to the api for it to return all data or multiple calls to return smaller ones?
Me: well... It takes ~180ms just for latency to the server for one call, if you have 10 calls it will take 180*10ms, it is better if we have one call and cache it if necessary on the backend.
( he has no fucking clue wtf caching is, besides browser cache)
Boss: (looking confuse AS FUCK!!) Well, I don't get it... Maybe I'll test it later.
Me thinking: test how you dumb motherfucker? On you fucking workstation with no fucking latency?
There is no fucking test. I'm stating it. IT IS A FUCKING FACT!
Me: well, it takes that for the call to go to the api and come back , its simple math. 1 == 180, 10 == 1800.
Suit yourself.7 -
I’m fucking done….
I don’t even know what to tell.
I’m a CTO in a startu. We have pretty good traction, my salary is about average senior dev salary (plus 10%).
I’m good financially.
But I have no more pleasure in work. Like at all.
“This API call performance is bad”
Yeah I know, maybe you shpuldn’t try to call it for 1000 objects at the time ?
“We need to reduce Azure cost”
Yeah I know, but are you ready to live with performances downgrade it will generate ?
“I don’t understand on what thing you worked past week, where is a devops card ?
Fuck you, I’m in extenuating fire mode, I don’t have time for a fucking devops card
“We should migrate whole stack to modern technology, like JavaScript”
Thank you for your imput, Blazor WAS created to avoid JabaScript
“The client has only 1.000.000 records and API doesn’t return them all”
Use fucking paging moron. And BTW, I’m adding “number of authorized requests” shortly.
I can go on and on and on for hours. But the idea is : I completely lost the will or motivation to do anything. I’m considering just to quit and go back to be Junior dev for a random company.9 -
I hate fucking stupid badly made websites of biggest companies in my country. I just bought an expensive pc in one of the biggest chain of physical tech shops, and it sucked as fuck, full of popups hiding the buttons, fucking popups advertising their own products. But I'm so stupid I continued despite it.
I selected the item, I inserted the address and card info, no summary page. An email arrives in my inbox, I check it: there's a typo in my address. I go back in the website, I discover not only that I can't cancel the order or change the address, but doesn't even exist a personal page where I can check the items I bought and their shopping state. OH. MY. GOD. We are in 2017 darling, I saw better websites 25 years ago, in the end of the month do you also expect to be paid? Do you go around saying "I'm a programmer"? Do you say this to your children? How can you keep a serious face saying it?
And like if it's not enough, the only way to contact them is calling them to their number, which is paid 0,15€ each minute. And knowing it, they will make me wait to charge me as much as possible.
Then they complain because they're missing money and everyone wants to buy on Amazon instead than their shop. Fuck them.7 -
Can someone please explain to me WHY THE FUCK non devs feel like they know shit. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HOW YOU FOUND SOME UNTRUE SHIT ON GIZMODO. I'VE KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT THIS SHIT, AND YOU LOOKED UP THE FIRST EXAMPLE YOU COULD FIND THE SUPPORTS YOUR CASE. The most recent time this happened was OVER THE LAST FEW DAYS when this DUMBASS that my friends and I BULLY but HE STILL HANGS AROUND. (By bully, yes sometimes we are mean to him, but we're not out to get him. He comes to us and we don't wanna be with him). So after the SEVENTH groupchat (on two apps) he created that night, HE WANTED TO SWITCH BACK TO ANOTHER APP I SPENT A WEEK TRYING TO GET THEM TO SWITCH FROM PREVIOUSLY (It was whatsapp, i got them to switch to telegram). THEN HE TRIED to ARGUE with me about how TELEGRAM wasnt secure. HE SEARCHED "is telegram secure" on Google and chose the FIRST ARTICE from the previously mentioned, GIZMODO which says that TELEGRAM chats ARENT ENCRYPTED by DEFAULT. HOW THE FUCK DO DUMBASSES GET THIS KIND OF PUBLICITY. There's a difference between ENCRYPTION and END TO END DUMBASS. Then he told me whatsapp is more secure than telegram. NO ITS FUCKING NOT. In telegram, your encryption keys CHANGE every chat, or every 100 messages. To my best research, whatsapp only has ONE key per USER. I could go on forever about how chat backups in whatsapp are UNENCRYPTED or how FACEBOOK stores your data, but blocked you works to.6
-
OK< been a long time user of Unity.
Tried the latest update as I and others were enthusiastic about creating a joint project of gamers and developers.
As I was building up a started website and we were getting things with Unity ready...BOOM,. They Fuck up the installs.
Not just a minor thing here or there but not finding its own Fucking file locations where it installs shit. You try and say, Hey Unity you fucking twat, install here in this folder.
Boom again, it installs part of it there, and then continues installing shit everywhere else it wants to. Then the assholes at Unity give this Bullshit claim "the bug has been fixed."
Just reinstall.
Fuck you, its never that simple, You have to delete all sorts of fucking files to make sure conflicts from a previous corruption isn't just loaded on top of so it does not fuck up later.
So we did all that from programs, program data, program(x86), AppData Local, Local Low, and Roaming.
For added measure we manually removed all the crap from the registry folders (that was a pain but necessary), and then ran a cleaner to make sure all the left over shit was gone.
Thinking, OK you shit tech MoFo's we are clean and here we go.
HOLY SHIT BALLS, Its fucking worse with the LTS version it recommends and Slow as Fuck with their most recent version which is like 2020 itself, and insane piece of fucking bloated garbage and slower than a brick hard shit without fruit.
So we were going to all go post on the forums, and complain the fix section isn't fixed for shit.
Fuck us running backwards naked through a field of razor grass. Its so overloaded with complaints that they shut down further posts.
What makes this shit worse is we cannot even get the previous fucking versions of the editor before all this to work where our only option is without using the fucking Hub demand is just install 2018.
great if we started coding and testing in that. We cannot get shit where we were at back on track because you cannot fucking backward load an exported saved asset file.
Unity's suggestion? Start over.
Our Suggestion? Stop fucking smoking or using whatever fucking drug you assholes are on, you fucking disabled the gear options so we can resolve shit ourselves, and admit you did that shit and other sneaky piece of shit back stabby, security vulnerable data leak bullshit things to your end users.
Listen to your fucking experienced and long time users and get rid of the Fucking backward stepped hub piece of shit everyone with more brains than whatever piss ant pieces of shit praised that the rest of us have hated from day fucking one!
And while fixing this shit like it should be fucking fixed if you shit head bastards want to continue to exist as a fucking company, overhaul the fucking website or get the fuck out of business with now completely worthless SHIT.
Phew:
Suffice it to say....
We are now considering dealing with the learning curve and post pone our project going with unreal just because of these all around complete fuck ups that herald back to shit games of versions 3.0 and earlier.8 -
Am I really unlucky, or are juniors these days all lazy af and such pampered babies that need hand holding all the time?
So back when I was a junior, when I wanted to learn something new, I would ask for some pointers from my seniors, could be an article, a video or even a book. From there I would look up further knowledge, play with the idea in my machine. If I couldn't understand something, or if I needed a better explanation of something, I would go back to my senior, but it was really rare.
Then comes this modern day, I'm the senior now and I'm in charge of mentoring a bunch of kids, who would treat me like their personal chatgpt. "Hey Junior #0, this is something you may want to read to help your next ticket, let me know if you have difficulty". Next day junior #0 would come back and say "I don't understand, the article mentioned X but I don't know how to do X. Can you show me how to do X?". Bro, no one knows how to do X after being born, just google "how to do X" and it gives you the fucking answer. Why the fuck do you have to circle back to me because of this. Junior #1 would refuse to read any articles longer than 250 words, and require constant 1-1 meetings to give him personal lectures. Dude this is not a class room, grow the fuck up! Junior #3 would write the messiest code possible despite my efforts to introduce tons of resources, then complain "why I'm still junior, how do I grow". Bro maybe if you learned half of what I sent you, you would have gotten promote by now. Fucking lazy kids these days!
Oh I can't fire these juniors. Top management was very clear that "we don't have budget to hire other devs for you, it's your responsibility to train them better".22 -
!dev
This may be a petty rant, but It's been grinding my gears for a few months now... I fucking hate ads, it's starting to be incredibly ridiculous. You start a video... 2 ads... you watch for 2 minutes, another 2 ads (and no, adblock isn't a solution, that only works on PC, not devices)?!!! You start an App... ads, you listen to music... ads... you go to google... ads, you click a website... ads... you look out of your window... ads... you walk down the street... ads... ads.. ads...
Seriously, what the fuck have we done?!! As a society we fucked up so badly... Look, no matter how many times you offer me an ad for a furniture, I'm not going to buy a fucking furniture on just any random day. You are completely wasting my already limited time... If you don't have any ads to show me, then don't show me ads, fuck you, you fucking piece of shit software... How is it that it used to be enough to click away one static, non-intrusive ad, but now 6-8 15-20 second ads, popups and intrusive, mid-content ads are the norm?! And then a piece of shit like MoviePass DARES, FUCKING DARES, To work on some sort of camera-enabled check that you actually LOOK at the ads?!!!! ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU RETARDED PIECE OF BLACK MIRROR SHIT, FUCK OFF WITH THIS BRAINWASHING BULLSHIT, I'M ALLERGIC TO IT, FUCK ALL OF THIS.
I fucking promise that any software I'll make will be either free and open source, or paid only by alternative means, no ads, not ever. I will never fucking add to this retarded bullshit. Never fucking ever will I lower myself on a level where I need to actively waste the time and psyche of thousands or millions of people to get money. Fucking hell.... As if the world doesn't suck enough already, we treat humans as cattle, and It's pissing me off... In the past I used to just delete any app that annoyed me with ads, but what the fuck do I do about youtube since it's the de-facto content source on the internet? And worse, my friends and family watch youtube.. even if I avoid it that doesn't mean the problem is solved... There needs to be an alternative, and paying subscriptions for every single fucking service on the web isn't a solution. Even worse with the current economy... I'd rather eat real food, than buy shit like premium on ShitTube, Fuckify, all the random news website I might read and every app or game I start once every two months... Shit like ad-less premium accounts aren't giving me an alternative, just a way to shoot myself in the foot longterm...
Godbless everyone that releases open source software, apps, tools, websites and such. I hope to god decentralized alternatives to youtube need to happen and not in the web3 way, because that's also retarded...
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shit, Fuck Shit, Piss, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, Retards, Fucking absolutely disgusting pieces of shit... ... alright, I got it out of my system, but It's gonna be right back the next time YouTube forces me to look at 20 seconds of something I already skipped 48 times today...31 -
YouTube. Hate and love for it just like I would for an abusive partner.
Ads!
Wanna build a website with Wix? Fuck no!
Wanna manage WordPress over SSH? Fuck no!
.. well I kind of do but a turd remains a turd regardless of how it's maintained. WordPress can go die from a torture as long as the time everyone has wasted on it loading already. So no, I don't give a flying fuck about WordPress' new interface.
Wanna buy a new Samsung phone despite just having bought a OnePlus already? YOUTUBE, HOW ABOUT YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF AND YOUR SHITTY ALGO?!!
Quality videos though, so many engineering videos and all for free. How amazing is that? I quite like them.
But if I try to like a video and particularly the fucking comments on it, don't you fucking dare putting your fat fingers 1 pixel next to the like button, because then obviously you want to reply to the comment and have a pop-up with the whole comment and all its replies, and an automatically popped up text input field, just so you have to tap back 2 times just to try liking the bloody comment again. Rinse and repeat that 2 times at best, 5 times at worst. What's not to like, right?!
God fucking dammit. At least now I know why those random mentions without any meaningful other text are there in most comment sections. Usability over 9000!!!11 -
I really love taking HR mandatory training concerning covid-19 that apparently speaks for me.
Did you guys know that I was dying to go back to work instead of remotely doing everything from the comfort of my fucking home?? and that my biggest fear was that i would be at home too much and missed the workplace?
No? well, me fucking either. I was way the fuck more productive working from home that being in my office dealing with stupid shit all day because i was constantly being interrupted.
Pretty sure my employees felt the same way when I yelled from my office :"y'all this training is some bullshit and apparently you guys were fucking dying to come back"
and one of them yelled "ahhh hr speaking for me again!!"
Fuck brainwashed trainings.5 -
know what pisses me the fuck off? when the manager of another department jumps over me and goes straight to the head of my department for a request that they want from MY department.
Currently, there are 2 stupid bitches that insist on doing this fuckery. One of them keeps getting owned by our DBA since for whatever reason she sends her requests to me, just for the DBA to remind her that I ain't giving her access to shit and bla bla
The other is the head of the human resources department. It goes like this: sends wrong data, task gets delayed cuz we have to sort her shit, gets impatient, bitches at head of department and his boss about us taking long(bitch 3 hours ain't long and your shit ain't critical) just for me to reply back with images and LOOK FUCKTARD YOU MESS THIS UP red arrows showing how what she did was wrong and I had to fix it for her.
Sends a reply back only to me saying thanks, ah no pendeja, I will forward aaaaaaall of that shit to everyone else, tried throwing me under the bus? well now ima do it to you.
And fuck those 3 applications you requested, have fun adding shit manually through spreadsheets and then go eat shit and die.5 -
I have one! Once upon a time (about a year ago) my mom went online shopping on her own. Her husband was out of town and so she had no assistance. At about 10.30 pm she called me, freaking the fuck out that she entered her credit card details on a sketchy site and they charged her for more than she ordered. She was in hysterics, didn't know what to do. Superwoman to the rescue, I tell her to go and deactivate her card and jump on a train back home (she was crying on the phone she was so scared, couldn't just leave it until morning) fast forward an hour, I'm in my hometown, she picks me up and we head home to check out the situation, and... She had just received the email invoice twice. They hadn't charged her twice, just some email mishap made the email appear twice and she never thought to check her bank account before summoning me home 🙄😂 we laughed for a while and I got a home cooked meal so it's all good but Jesus christ mom. What would you honestly do without dad?1
-
My level of frustration with Microsoft is growing to a point that I'm unable to contain it.
They buy Github, it was a great tool for developers because is FUCKING WORKED! New features were never beta tested on users unless they requested it.
Why in the absolute fuck am I getting all these new experimental bullshit features that literally make it harder for me to do my god damned job?
They provide me NOTHING but grief and sleepless weekends while I fix the god damned pipeline that's worked perfectly fine for YEARS.
Your business model is bad and your products are SHIT.
Fuck you Microsoft, I cannot even stress it enough. If I had a time machine that could go back 5 years and my options were: Tell the world about Covid, make sure Trump never became president, or stop the Github purchse. I would hunt down and brutally attack the team of executives that decided to buy Microsoft.
Words cannot adequately describe how much I want Microsoft to fuck off. If the company was a person and they died in a house fire it wouldn't be enough.
I just want a VCS that does what it's supposed to do. I don't need pipelines, I don't need image repos, I don't need static code analysis.
I JUST NEED A FUCKING VCS THAT CONTROLS VERSIONS OF SOFTWARE YOU IGNORANT FUCKS.15 -
I’m pissed.
I had previously ranted about being assigned to a very messy project. I spent 3-4 months alone adding features and CLEANING things up.
Recently, there had been talks about a new major development phase on this project. But things lingered and the day before I’m to go on vacation, I get the news that this new phase starts in 2 days. Since I’m going to be on break they’re putting other guys on the project who don’t know anything about it.
Fast forward two weeks later.
I’m back from vacation.
I find out one of the guys has strong opinions about doing things certains ways… but unfortunately they are "ways" of unnecessary complexity, abstraction and verbosity.
After just a couple of weeks I’m already lost in the complexity of his code, which supports features of VERY LOW complexity. Fuck, has he ever heard of KISS? Has anybody heard of it where I work?
Now I have to spend my mental energy trying to make sense of this pile of crap rather than actually spending it getting things done.1 -
!dev
If you live in a major city and to stand still or walk slow on the left side of escalators/stairs then fuck you.
You wander around in complete ignorance of the countless last second train misses you cause.
Fuck you, go back to you slow town in the sticks!7 -
FUUUU!!!!!! 3h of colleagues work gone in sconds.. & yes, actually it is all my fault, even though I was not aware of being a totall ass at that time..
What happened?! You know the ctrl+s shortcut?! Yes? Weeeell...doesn't go well with oracle sql developer and packages.. o.O
I was totally unavare that I was typing in ctrl+s ctrl+s all the time. I know I do that with c# code.. Anyhow, when I first moved to sql developer from other tool I noticed that compile thingy.. Oooops, ok, let's remove that shortcut to not stab yourself absentmindenly and overwrite other peoples work.. OK that's taken care of, shortcuts removed and I go back to work..
It's been almost 6 months since the move & first incident and today I guess I did the same.. ctrl+s.. But this time I wasn't so lucky.
Coworker pissed off, that is not my procedure. When did you compile?! Someone overwrote my code..
Wasn't me.. Then I started thinking about ctrl+s.. OMFG!! I check this on another package, it compiled. O.o I almost died. I check the shortcuts. They are back! And even after removing them the package still compiled.. FML!! 😭😭😭😭
I removed them again & closed the tool. Reopended.. BACK!! We're back to fuck your life up!! Fuuuuuuu!!
Now I worry wtf else I fucked up without notice.. o.O hopefully not much.. I hope.. O.O boss will kill me...
BTW anyone knows how to really get rid of this feature?! Cuz for me its a bug (since I am buggy and press ctrl+s all the time.. )6 -
boss: wish there was a way to go back to older versions..
me: there is, it's called git, I can show you how to use it!
boss: nah we will just keep using the sync on Dreamweaver
me:....the fuck?!2 -
Oh fucking Huawei.
Fuck you.
Inventory:
- Honor 6x (BLN-L22C675)
- Has EMUI4.1 Marshmallow
- Cousin brother 'A' (has bricking XP!)
- Uncle 'K'
- Has Mac with Windows VM
Goal:
- Stock as LineageOS / AOSP
Procedure (fucking seriously):
- Find XDA link to root H6X
- Go to Huawei page and fill out form
- Receive and use bootloader code
- Find latest TWRP
- Flash latest TWRP
- TWRP not working? Bootloops
- XDA search "H6X boot to recovery"
- Find and try modded TWRP
- TWRP fails, no bootloop
- Find & flash TWRP 3.1.0
- Yay! TWRP works
- Find and download LineageOS and SuperSU
- Flash via TWRP
- Yay! Success.
- Attempt boot
- Boot fails. No idea why
- Go back to TWRP
- TWRP gives shitload of errors
"cannot mount /data, storage etc."
- Feel fucked up
- Notice that userdata partition exists,
but FSTAB doesn't take
- Remembers SuperSU modded boot
image and FSTABS!
- Fuck SuperSU
- Attempt to mod boot image
- Doesn't work (modded successfully
but no change)
- Discover Huawei DLOAD
Installer for "UPDATE.APP" OTAs
Note: Each full OTA is 2+ GB zipped
- Find, download, fail on 4+ OTAs
- Discover "UPDATE.APP Extractor"
Runs on Windows
Note: UPDATE.APP custom format
Different per H6X model
- Uses 'K''s VM to test
- My H6X model does not have
a predefined format
- Process to get format requires
TWRP, which is not working
- FAIL HERE
- Discover "Firmware Finder"
Windows app to find Huawei
firmwares
- Tries 'K''s VM
- Fails with 1 OTA
- Downloads another firmware ZIP
- Unzips and tries to use OTA
- Works?!
- Boots successfully?!
- Seems to have EMUI 5.0 Nougat
- Downloads, flashes TWRP
- TWRP not working AGAIN?
- Go back to XDA page
- Find that TWRP on EMUI 5 - NO
- Find rollbacks for EMUI5 -> EMUI4
- Test, fail 2-4 times (Massive OTAs)
- DLOAD accepts this one?!!!
- I HAVE ORIG AGAIN!!!
- Re-unlock and reflash TWRP
- Realise that ROMs aren't working on
EMUI 4.1; Find TWRPs for EMUI5
- Find and fail with 2-3 OTAs
Note: Had removed old OTAs for
space on Chromebook (32GB)
- In anger, flash one with TWRP
instead of DLOAD (which checks
compatability)
- Works! Same wasn't working with
DLOAD
- Find and flash a custom TWRP
as old one still exists (not wiped in
flash)
- Try flashing LineageOS
- LineageOS stuck in boot
- Try flashing AOSP
- Same
- Try flashing Resurruction Remix
- Same
- Realise that need stock EMUI5
vendor
- Realise that the firmware I installed
wasn't for my device so not working
- FUCK NO MORE LARGE DLs
- Try another custom TWRP
- Begin getting '/cust mounting' errs
- Try reflashing EMUI5 with TWRP
- Doesn't work
- Try DLOADing EMUI5
- Like before, incompatability
- DLOAD EMUI4
- Reunlock and reflash TWRP
- WRITE THIS AS A BREAK
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH7 -
Dear person who extended my <T> to <Type> in the documentation:
Fuck you! Everybody knows what the T stands for! Don't mess with my stuff, don't go against my ethics and most of all, don't even dare to talk back on me unless you want me to return the favour and extand that assgole of yours with a cactus2 -
Fuck edge and fuck ie
Its particularly funny when something works on IE...but not on edge. Go fucking figure.
Bing is ok ms...y'all should focus on that. Ie was semiok back in the day but your browser game is weak af b.
Like seriously
"Edge and ie are awesome"
Said no web developer ever7 -
!dev && rant
Temperature causing temper!!!
Summer 2009...
Me: Dad, can me and sis go swim in the pool?
Dad: No son, you can only swim if it's 25°C or higher.
Which in practice meant that we could only swim a few days each summer. Average in Belgium used to be about 21°C.
Spring 2019, my younger siblings...
Little sis: Mom, can we go swim in the pool?
Mom: Lol sure, it's only April but it's already way hot enough.. and during summer it'll be too hot to do the work on setting up the pool anyway.
Winter 2029, in Antarctica...
Me, to my children: During my old days my children, we had this thing called snow!! And we lived in the wasteland that used to be the glorious Europe, back when it was still habitable.. you should've seen it, now it's a desert, but back then it was awesome!
My children: Mum!! He's acting senile again, and talking about things that don't exist!!!
Coming to the crux of the problem right now, fuck me.. I'm tired as fuck but can't sleep because already in the fucking spring, my house is too fucking hot to be able to sleep without sweating like a pig!!!
AaaaaAAAAA 😣5 -
Question everything!
Comments lie.. sometimes code does too.. Customers..they lie the most..and are sloppy..
Don't be like customers, don't be sloppy. If you were sloppy own it & don't lie about it!
Pick your fights (trying to fix vs rewrite the shit out of it)..you will know what to do more with experience..
RTFM & docs.. If things still unclear, ask before your dick gets stuck in a toaster!
Ask away, learn about the customers & how they use your product.. you'll be surprised how something intuitive to you might be a rocket science for them..meaning more room to fuck things up when using it..more ways you can adapt & prevent things..
Most of all, don't fuckin lie.. ever!!
If you lie on you're CV, we will find out.. If you fuck up something & lie about it, we will find out.. but it will cost us precious time when solving it from scratch.. People fuck up..that's a fact..how you go about it is what makes/breaks it for me. So don't ever fuckin lie to me!!
And don't be arogant.. if you complain about fixing bugs, this is not a job for you.. if you can't even fix the obvious ones you've put there in the first place..twice as bad..
So think before you code..what do you want to do, how you want to accomplish this, is it reusable, can it be extended, does it introduce new technology into the project, will it fuck up current setup.. once you have this shit figured out, code will write itself..
Did I mention already you're not to lie to me, ever?!
And don't try talking about me behind my back either..I've seen it backfire before, results were not good..3 -
At work the other day...
Guy: "Oh hey I was thinking if you could help me with an application to visualize some data."
Me: "Ooookay...what did you have in mind?"
Guy: "I think we have XML files that could be turned into graphs...oh and we could add some trend lines. (Getting more excited) And maybe we could supplement it with live data...oh hey and maybe we could add real time alerts via email..."
Me: *thinks to self...there is no way in hell I am starting to work on something that he is literally coming up with requirements as he's talking* "I need specifics...so go take some time, think it through and get back to me with concrete details and examples."
Guy: "Ok. That should be enough to get you started for now at least."
That would be a big fuck no, good sir. Haven't started and won't start it. He has never mentioned it to me again since then.4 -
!Dev
A bit random but I'm just really anrgy
Why the fuck. Why do mosquitoes have to exist. Fucking go outside in certain places for 5 minutes and these spawns of Satan suck me dry.
I swear these things have all come through a portal straight from hell.
And then its gotta itch like fucking mad for the next days, driving me straight up insane.
I'll be glad when I get back to my place. Climate might be cold and raining a large part of the year but fuck that's so much better than fucking getting poked by these fuckers this much again.14 -
So my colleagues and I are somewhat great friends. (As in my first rant, I'm a practical evil joke guy). Since our boss thinks we are working on the production server (in reality, he commissioned it to be done in 4 months time. We all got it done in a month.), we get our own little room in the building, each time one of us walks in, we greet each other with a nice "go fuck yourself". Not to be mean, but just as a joke.
I decide to leave the room to go get a drink and I said I would be back. Guess who wants to see the dev team to see where they are on production? Not our boss, the fucking CEO. This isn't a big company, but this definitely was not expected.
So, he walks in and greets the team. He gets greeted with "Go fuck yourself".
I come back to see my team outside, and the CEO asking me why they said that. So after 15 minutes of ass ripping, the CEO leaves, our jobs barely intact, and I get to talk with the team about why we have to be nice to our superiors.3 -
"Some settings are managed by your organisation"
I understand the necessity for companies to be able to remotely manage their devices, but my god, I hate working on company laptops sooo much!!
Fun fact, even Chrome can be managed! The can manage everyting. It's called Microsoft Intune. It sucks!! And fucking 45 day PW change policy! And fuck you, Windows Defender Real-time protection which I can't turn off and It's high CPU consumption. Also fuck you Microsoft Teams for scanning. Every. Single. Link. I. Click. On. From. A. Chat. Before. Redirecting. Me. To. The. Actual. Website. Always takes a couple of seconds. Waste of time. Those accumulate over time you know! AND to Windows Update! You already know what is coming next: stop force-updating while I'm in the middle of fucking meeting! I have shit to do! Another fun fact: you can postpone Windows Update by turning the clock back. LIKE PLAYING AN OLD TIME-BASED STRATEGY GAME ON PC IN 1999. (12h work best.) And this fucking weak ass VPN. WHY I PAY FOR 1Gbps WHEN COMPANY VPN ONLY 10Mbps?!! What Am I? A fucking snail! Go faster!! pls!
But, thank god, we can email shit and open attachments in Outlook.9 -
Current task:
Somehow, one of my predecessors made some sort of custom hook tied to woocommerce check out that pipes some data into a nightmarish spaghetti fuck pile of undocumented wild west visual basic bullshit. It does this, presumably, via a set of parameters passed as plaintext in a url. I know this because I found the singleton that declares this. Helpfully, Mr. Fuckass named the class "Default", so I only have around 30k instances being kicked back by my IDE when I search for it. The only reason I "need" to find this, is so that I can just change the button to an href pointing at my own MS for shipping, and I need to change the fifteen params being passed to just one - a customer ID, which should be stored in the session, and referenced by a cookie. Once that is done, I should be able to freely delete a couple of gigs worth of bullshit. Been stuck on this for three days now. God forbid we have a test environment or something.
I'm tired. Can't even get angry anymore really. Can't even think of anything funny to say about it either, I just can't wait until this is done and I can go back to sleep.4 -
Is it just me or what. I had begun learning web development (but prefer C, shell scripting, Linux... ).
One thing that amazes me - besides having to learn 1356367626785576 technologies to get something done and the fact we get a fresh new amazing framework every 0.00000000000234 seconds - is CSS.
Amazing, I made a navigation bar where I wanted the items to be displayed in the horizontal position, so I
.navbar li, a {display:inline-block}
Works fine.
Next day I'm doing the same from scratch, doesn't fucking work. I look the previous design, HTML structure looks identical, I only use a different font face and colors.
After a while I randomly decided to put a <div> around the a element in order to do something else, update the page and... Voilá, text is in line.
Like... Wtf.
I'm like fuck it. No way I want to work with this shit, let's go back to shell.6 -
How come it is so hard to find good developers. Have been doing interviews for a couple of weeks now (for a senior PHP developer role).
First round is me talking about the function and company, asking questions about candidates experience, wishes and we usually end in some tech conversations. Most of the resumes I got are pretty fucking good. I mean, experience with low-level languages, experience with the problems we need to solve here, contributions to open-source, experience in R and MathLab etc etc. On paper they look perfect.
For the second round I give them an assessment which they can do at home on their own machine in their own time. It's not a hard one, just some mathmatical problems they need to solve. A quick google GIVES the answer (no joke!!). But that's OK, I look at their code cleanliness, proper use of commenting so I can determine if they are solo-developers or fit good in a team and if they abstract repeated functions and make sure that they take their work seriously, you know the drill.
It pisses me off that I get BROKEN FUCKING CODE WHICH DOES NOT EVEN RUN and that I get code back which I look at and makes me vomit instantly, I mean, DO YOU EVEN TAKE YOUR PROFESSION SERIOUS? How dare you to ask for 50k the year, a lease-car, extra bonusses AND YOUR FUCKING CODE SPITS OUT COMPLETLY WRONG ANSWERS OR DOES NOT EVEN RUN WHAT THE FUCK DUDE GO BACK TO FROM WHICH EVER HOLE YOU CRAWLED OUT AND STOP WASTING OTHER PEOPLES TIME WITH YOUR FUCKING INCOMPENTENCE...19 -
So Linus Torvalds is stepping away from his creation to get himself reprogrammed to be better accommodating over leftist nonsense. I'm also reading that retarded manifesto right now (https://postmeritocracy.org), and holy shit, one of the signatories is Linus Torvalds daughter. The fuck is wrong with you white people? Are we seriously halting back scientific/technological progress for these loons? Holy shit.
What fucking ever, at least I'm not white. Worse comes to worst, I'll just go back home, take back what I've learned here, and hopefully avoid the mistakes Western society is killing themselves over these days.13 -
Hello world. I'm new here :)
Here we go..
Me: Oh I really need this software but it's Wangblows only..
*Installs wangblows temporarily*
Me: ugh. So much bloatware
*starts uninstalling all shitty games and useless shit in win10*
Me: much better. Let's get coding...
*30min later*
Me: *restarts pc*
Me: why the fuck are all of these apps back? There are even more fucking games and useless crap.
*goes batshit crazy because it's not the first time happening*
Me: fuck this shit
Me: *installs Linux again*
Why the actual fuck do you have to pay for this disgrace called an "operating system" and then you get so much fucking ads and bloatware and..and.. inf cucmfing suofelelchefhdisksls10 -
Fucking IEEE pdf eXpress breaks this fucking paper.
The paper has been accepted, and we just need to upload a fucking camera-ready. But what was supposed to be a breeze, is now a nightmare with us spending the entirety of last night and evening trying to figure out why the fuck the latex gutter is keep throwing the same fucking error despite that we've used their own fuckin template, and don't have anything but text and images.
Fuck IEEE for making shit harder. Fuck their stupid submission system. 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I don't want to go back to work today. I literally had a 15 hours day yesterday. 😭😭😭😭17 -
!dev
Whoever the fuck wit coded the entire system for the university/college application information portal over here in my country needs to be hung, shot, hung again and shot.
It's **ABSOLUTE FUCKING GARBAGE** on the design. First we have the search box. It literally takes a good 20 seconds to query 1000 entries at low traffic and 3 MINUTES at high traffic. Bad enough? Because it would also take that long to give you a table of search result which is, I shit you not, identical to the drop-down results you get while typing except rendered inside a <table></table> with some overlay!
Oh, did I mention it didn't have partial match? Yea, IT DIDN'T. For example, "John Hurr Doe City" would not match "John Hurr Doe city" just to piss you off. And then we have the fuckers that do this:
- University A John Hurr Doe city
- University B JHD City
- University C JHD city
That and no partial match. Yea. It's BS.
Also. if you wanna search again after view a school, you have to press "Back", the physical "Back" of the browser. Fair, it's good, but if you press anything other than that button, welll, you're fucked although lightly.
The cherry on top of the rant cone? The whole thing is made by the studentfucking Ministry of Education and Training, the mother of overlord of students. Yea. The fucking Ministry itself. Really. You wanna go "catch up with the world and master the 4.0 Industrial Revolution" and yet you can't fucking code the site properly. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck your horse you're riding and probably fuck you as well.
Sorry for getting slightly political at the end, the damn page is getting on my nerve. -
Our CEO had a virtual town hall using Zoom and now have a sign language interpreter box as a regular feature... To go along with all the Inclusion stuff...
The most immediate problem though is they didn't turn on auto-captions...
I don't know sign but am deaf so needed the captions which it turns out you can get using the Google Recorder app on Pixels. (This is literally like a fuck you to non-Pixel users and Zoom which disables Live Captions in conferences and recording full transcripts).
Anyway I left it own and near the end, a speaker was like "we're getting a lot of likes and positive feedback about the interpreter box! See how small changes make such a big difference?!"
And well of course in my mind I'm going "uh.... No."
I'll just go back to not caring about anything that isn't related to how much I make.2 -
Internal mail form CIO's office:
"Thank you for being part of the internal trial for NPMe, we have decided to remove this tool in favour of Artifactory because of its support for multiple platforms and tools. We are sorry for the inconvenience, here is a link to migration scripts ..."
Migration "script" readme, please clone this repo, create file A, and B, and install these 2 dependencies.
Dependency 1:
- "install via homebrew ..."
- .... homebrew needs to update, checking for updates
- 10 mins later = Update failed, please upgrade to Ruby version 2.3
- Installs ruby version manager
- GPG signature verification failed
- Install GPG v2 + accept keys
- Install ruby version manager
- "please execute this command before running rvm"
- execute command
- "rvm install ruby-2.3"
- Install failed, please see log file
- Opens log file
- "Xcode on its own is not sufficient, please install xcode cli tools"
- Install xcode tools
- 5 minutes later -> "rvm install ruby-2.3"
- 10 minutes later "brew install jq"
Ok back to read me, "login to Artifactory, go here and copy paste XXX."
- Login to Artifactory
- Eventually find repo
- Login again to actually see credentials for some reason
- Screen doesn't match instructions in readme
- Click around
- Back to readme
- Back to artifactory
- Login again
- Execute command auth / setup command
- Copy contents to npmrc file .... now all my scoped packages are going to point to 1 specific repo
Fuck the migration, Fuck these shitty instructions, i'll set them all up again manually. See tags below for further opinions on this matter.undefined fuck ruby fuck homebrew fuck this fuck shitty cli fuck artifactory fuck cli fuck jq fuck rvm2 -
Cheap computer, Broken AC, Fresh coat of off-white/grey paint, Torn chair with ciggy burns in it, non-adjustable cubicle desk that is wayyyy too high, people from unrelated departments popping by every 15mins to give me an update I didn’t ask for on their inconsequential lives or their opinion on whatever the fuck is the biggest trending hashtag right now.
May I never go back into the office again.
#thoughtsandprayers4 -
If your client doesn't know what the fuck he wants to see on his website even with all text and images included - don't take this fucking job.
They will let you choose a template and you end up switching it 5 times. "Oh we don't like it. What else do you have? Oh, this looks better." Next day "We don't like this theme anymore. We want to switch to what we had before."
If people can't draw their home page on a paper I tell them go fuck yourself straight in a face. I always put these people on my reference list so my future clients know I'm straightforward, not lazy, not low skilled, but honest with dumbasses like some of my previous clients.
You are asking for a basic website with 5 pages, you have a shitty budget and then I have to customize the entire theme and tweak every fucking possible element in CSS, HTML and PHP. Go fuck yourself. All you get for your money is WordPress with 15 min consultation how to copy paste your shit and save it. Never do fixed budgets, never work on projects like this if it's under $500-1000. Meet with the client to understand him/her better and see if he is a jackass-perfectionist or a chill person who won't be picky.
That's my memories of being a freelancer, trying to get any job for any budget just to build my portfolio. Never going back to this, at least not for small businesses with less than $5,000 budget. Reading people before you start working with them is a good thing.undefined idiot clients clients from hell hate it hatred freelancing freelance madness rants rant wordpress2 -
So after exactly 30 minutes of building a basic interpreter (yes I'm back on the interpreter wagon) in python, I have once again come to the conclusion that python can go fuck itself with its backwards and inconsistent syntax with needlessly over worked and backwards data structures...
Would rather work in fucking COBOL at this stage...3 -
FUCK YOU IN THE ASS WINDOWS, WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN THE TASK BAR DOES NOT HIDE AUTOMATICALLY, EVEN WHEN IT WAS WORKING? I GO TO SETTINGS TO TURN IT OFF AND BACK AGAIN AND NOTHING HAPPENS. RESTART AND A GOD DAMN UPDATE STARTS.4
-
I’m fairly new to maintaining my own webservers. For the past week the servers (two of them) kept crashing constantly.
After some investigation I figured it was due to someone running a script trying to get ssh access.
I learned about fail2ban, DOS and DDOS attacks and had quite a fight configuring it all since I had 20 seconds on average between the server shutdowns and had to use those 20 second windows to configure fail2ban bit by bit.
Finally after a few hours it was up and running on both servers and recognized 380 individual IPs spamming random e-mail / password combos.
I fet relieved seeing that it all stopped right after fail2ban installation and thought I was safe now and went to sleep.
I wake up this morning to another e-mail stating that pinging my server failed once again.
I go back to the logs, worried that the attack became more sophisticated or whatever only to see that the 06:25 cronjob is causing another fucking crash. I can’t figure out why.
Fuck this shit. I’m setting another cronjob to restart this son of a bitch at 06:30.
I’m done.3 -
my staff got selected to go do something RETARDED on site when all restrictions on the city have been lifted and the fucking numbers of covid-19 cases have been rising, last week 4 people fucking DIED and they wanted to put my guys for some RETARDED SHIT THAT can be completely ignored in which they would deal with countless of RETARDS that as I know will probably be ignoring all safety precautions and getting everyone fucking SICK.
I don't give a fuck, my employees are high risk personell, if they get sick they might fucking die, I said no to fucking everyone and had the head of my department to back me up. Fuck this shit man I am so tired of this pandemic since it had made everyone 10 billion percent-o more retarded than they already were.
If the head of department ignores it I will instruct my people to just ignore that shit and don't make themselves present at that bullshit ass fucking event.
See what the fuck they do. I treat my employees as if they were my soldiers, I know what leadership is and they are not making me fucking budge, if your command is bullshit i will fucking say no and you can go ahead and do whatever the fuck you want with that shit, just based on my title and experience I can go where the fuck I want and you will eat dick.
Luckily for me the HOD is on the same boat, he thinks this shit is fucking stupid.4 -
This “Auto save” feature in the latest app version is buggy..
-> new rant
-> prefilled with previous rant..
Anyway, here my actual rant begins.
Apple, go fuck yourself, seriously.. put your trillion dollars way up your arse...
Moved to Ireland, want to switch country..
“If you want to switch countries, cancel your Apple Music subscription first”..
so be it. Cancelled it..
“Your subscription will be cancelled in 28 days”.
FUCK YOU, YOU COCK SUCKING BASTARDS!!
I NEED TO SWITCH THE STORE TO BE ABLE TO DOWNLOAD BANKING APPS AND STUFF LIKE THAT..
But ok, I’m screwed in this regard..
Suddenly iMessage stopped working. This is kind of a big deal because I have unlimited data but only unlimited sms to Irish numbers and I need to communicate with people in Switzerland and Germany..
Internet works so I try to turn iMessage off and in again. But that doesn’t work.. i can only reactivate iMessage via WiFi.
So I go back to the hotel, reactivate iMessage..
“Verifying imessage” >> google..
Leads me to an Apple forum: “the verification of iMessage can take up to 24h”.
Are you fucking kidding me? I’m in a new country and rely on this overpriced shit..
Fun but sad fact, I have a second phone with me. IPhone 4 with iOS 7 and that thing WORKS!!
If this is where the future is going we’re all gonna die very soon.. plains crash, power plants explode but hey, at least they have data about it and it looks shiny. That’s all that matters..
Another reason to switch to android..
MacOs fucked me up so I already switched to windows + Linux. Next one will be getting rid of iOS, they don’t build small phones anymore anyway..1 -
OMFG. Here's a self-rant for you all...
So, working on a JS library to build widgets, I five across some weird behaviour where I expect `$.ajax.apply()` to pass something to the chained `.done()` method, but it comes out differently.
Fuck. Right, time to visit StackOverflow and glean some knowledge.
I post a question, complete with examples and descriptions and a little midget unicorn in the corner for world peace.
Come back a bit later to see what's happened, and nobody understands my damn question!
So I proceed to debate a few points with some other devs, going back and forth for a while, but still nobody knows what I'm asking.
Fuck. Time for a JSFiddle...
Copy code from the jQuery docs and start modifying it to show what I was working with... Now suddenly is all working as the docs say.
O.o
So I go look back at my own code again to try work out what's actually going on.
Turns out I completely missed MY OWN CODE.
Fuck me.1 -
Today, I say farewell to a piece of software that has shared my professional uprising as a dev, today I let go off an old friend, today i uninstall chrome, after nearly 12 years of dedication, hard work and pain staking performance issues from time to time, you went from the child star that fixed what was wrong with browsers back in 2008, and became the abusive man child that crashes my system when I open you now, so enough with your bullshit.
Today I transfer my things to Edge(chromium) and say farewell old friend, there's only so many BSOD's you can cause just by launching a new tab without hardware acceleration before I can not stand the sight of you anymore.
I wish you a good and stable life, but your creators obviously couldn't give a fuck anymore about being the "light weight and fast" browser you once were.rant all good things come to an end chrome 11 years of freindship trading you in for a new model edge bye bye9 -
> Using VSCode to work on a netcore project
> Switch to VS for some resharper refactoring
> VS eats up 100% of an i7 3.5GHz CPU, freezes the whole fucking PC
> Force shut down the computer, turn it back on
> "Windows is working on updates"
FUCK YOU, YOU COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER! GO CHOKE ON A THROBBING FUTANARI COCK!8 -
Short rant: I hate xcode, I hate Swift, I hate Apple.
After 3 weeks of intensive work (I'm an apprentice, part-student, part-worker), I was happy to go back to school and was like "Oh we're going to learn iOS, sounds cool !".
It is now friday, I have homicidal tendencies growing inside me, I want to cry whenever I hear xcode or swift.
Why in the hell I can't use a string argument when I'm calling a function NEEDING a string arg ?
Why do xcode take so long to tell me that there is a problem, why is the error message not explicit AT ALL ?
Why dictionaries so hard to manipulate, EVEN IN JAVA IT'S SIMPLIER.
Why putting our API call in specialized files make them run AFTER EVERYTHING ELSE and the solution that is given to us is deprecated since 5 years ?
Why is a classic c-style for loop is now deprecated ?
These are just a drop in the ocean of WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT that we came across this week.
Fuck Swift, fuck xcode.7 -
If 13 hour days on Friday are the norm, I'm going to have to go back to the drawing board. Fuck that.9
-
Ctrl C, go over hear, Ctrl V. This might take a while, I'll go drop a deuce will this is copying over.
[ 3 hours later... ]
Alright, back at it. What's this dialog?
"The destination already has a file named...".
1% complete.
Well, fuck me in the goat ass. -
this.isrant = true
Visual studio YOU BITCH!
2 hours of struggling to enable VT-X for docker but never seeming to be enabled when I boot back from the BIOS, turns out the motherfucking IDE sneakily enables hyper-v when I install Windows phone SDK, which I apparently need for xamarin. Well Microsoft? GO FUCK YOURSELF. I ONLY USE YOU FOR THE SUPPORT! I hate Microsoft and it's sneaky background shit that I don't know about and would probably freak out about if I did. I'm swapping to Ubuntu with MSSQL and MonoDevelop ASAP4 -
i dreamed a parallel reality
not even fking joking rn
it was MORE REAL THAN THE REALITY WE LIVE HERE
IT WAS LITERALLY LIKE I FKING LIVED IN ANOTHER REALM
this has never happened to me before ever
this shit woke me up at about 4:30 AM and i couldnt sleep for the rest of the fking day
i slept for 1h 30min
after i woke up it took me a couple of minutes to figure out if that realm was the base reality or if this current realm the reality we live in is the real base reality....
i wass fuckjgm lost !
there were 2 identical scenes that happened to me in the first and second realm
but both scenes had a different outcome, the realm i was in the dream had such a good outcome that it felt too good to be real BECAUSE I FKING DREAMED OF EXPERIENCING THAT I ACHIEVED HALF OF MY DREAM, WITHIN THE DREAM
And when i woke up and realized i returned back to this fucking realm i was so goddamn disappointed that i just wanted to go back to fkig sleep and just.. die
what the fuck
my brain is overwhelmed with bullshit and lies so much that i can not distinguish what is fake and what is real
fuck, eeverything in this existence12 -
Fuck windows, fuck macOS, fuck php, fuck nodejs, fuck this, fuck that....
With all the bashing over everything, I think I’ll go back to VB6... at least no ones hating on that!3 -
!dev
I will never understand the need for weeding bs. I am ok with marriage, and doing whatever religious festivity you want to whatever deity you follow. I respect that stuff enough to not go all anti-religious or what not. But I just cannot fathom making a party that benefits the attendee (food whatnot) more than the people starting a life together. Gifts? a popularity contest? I don't get it. My weeding was simple, did not invite a bunch of people, shit burned bridges, but our families were there and that to me was more than enough. Anyone else that got offended, well, they can get offended whenever they pay one of my fucking bills.
But I just cannot get the need to have such a ceremony, AND then to have the audacity to get upset or call out people that cannot make it. Make it for fucking what? the bridge and groom are going to be so fucking distracted with everyone that at most your presence gets an "ah glad you came!"
AND some people even do it in different cities, fucking why? it is a burden as an adult to make time for such minute events, even more to take the time, and the fucking money to go to your fucking party on another city. Bonus points if I need to buy a fucking airplane ticket, no fucking thanks.
I am currently doing something big in my life that only my wife can help me with, because of my situation, my family can't help me, so i am all by myself and wife, and some people told me to put it on hold.....to go to a fucking party. WHY? Why in the sweet holy Mexican baby Ritchie would I go ahead and fucking do that? you are not going to help me afterwards when I get back, shit, you will be out on fucking vacation after the party, for 2 fucking weeks (talk about privilege) and you still want me to put my shit on hold to go...to a fucking party?
Fuck, sometimes I feel that I am toooo fucking egotistical to put my time before others, but man, you really get shit out of this. 2 weedings happening this month, one requires a ticket, the other is a drive away (4 fucking hours) but still, I really don't feel that I should waste my VL that I would much rather spend with my wife and child on some fucking obnoxious ego-inflated party.9 -
Thoughts prior to feedback meeting, about how it's gonna go.
---------------------------------------------------------
Scenario one:
Supervisor: The shit is this? You call this a research work? Get the fuck out of here! You're fired and even your unborn kids are banned from coming into this institute ever again!
Me: *walks out sobbing* (dunno how one can walk out of a zoom meeting, but this is imaginary so who's counting?)
Scenario two:
S: Umm, good work. I just don't think it's presentable. Maybe come back in like a few weeks when you actually polish this into a "real scientific work".
Me: *sobs after meeting. Starts preping for seppuku cuz no idea where I'm headed with this work any further*
Scenario three:
S: nah man. This is no good. Let's start from the bottom. Like, start data collection from the beginning or something.
Me: *sobs and commits seppuku on the meeting.* (I just have a pen tho. Hope it has the same effect as a sword)
---------------------------------------------------------
There are other scenarios, but they all end up in me sobbing and/or committing seppuku in/after the meeting so yeah the drama is running high right now.11 -
This might not resonate with many ranters here... but FUCK Taylor Otwell & Graham Campbell.
Like, not on a personal level. Maybe they're great to drink a beer with. But as framework devs... fuck everything about them.
Laravel seems so nice, it takes away many annoyances of developing in PHP. Collections are the array object you've always needed. The route bindings, middlewares, request validation objects, it's all sweet.
But eventually your company serves a few million customers, you run into specific performance problems or missing features on a deeper level. You open the issue tracker... and see a few hundred issues about the problems you are encountering, they already exist.
Some just have a short paragraph with a request for a feature, some complete PRs with tests in the style of the framework. All of them closed.
Reasons?
"We don't think anyone will ever need this"
"This seems complicated, you can just do <super non-DRY hacky code>"
FUCK YOU WITH YOUR TODO APP SNIPPETS AND USER-POST-ARTICLE EXAMPLES. I'M NOT BUILDING THE NEXT WORDPRESS. I'M DEALING WITH THE REALITY OF GRAPH DATABASE CLUSTERS, COMPLEX AUDITING LOGS AND A GAZILLION QUERIES PER SECOND.
Sigh... the problem with all these "simple" and "elegant" languages & frameworks is that they don't fucking scale.
Not because the language, server or framework intrinsically can't do it, but because the maintainers are stuck thinking in terms of their retarded non-realistic example apps.
I think I'll go back to my cave and write some Haskell or Rust to calm down.2 -
Unicode support pl0x.
So I had an Windows account with AzureAD, and my real name has "ő" and "ó" in it, and software that did not support Unicde started flipping the fuck out.
I was intially going with junctioning every bullshit corrupted user folder name that showed up in the ENOENTs to my real user folder, but that didn't solve it for a couple of software.
I was trying to share my drives with Docker, but the same shit occurred. No error message, it just didn't work. I ended up creating a new user account for Docker to share the drive with.
I was trying to use the Travis CLI to set up releases, etc., but it replaced the "ő" with "?". Y U DO THAT?! Common knowledge is that "?" and other special characters cannot be in entity names. SO WHY DO YOU REPLACE THE UNKNOWN CHARACTER IN A PATH WITH THAT? And it wasn't a character not found character either! It was just a straight question mark.
I ended up creating a new user account because I couldn't change the name of the current one because fuck AzureAD, and Windows just decided to FUCKING TRASH MY ACCOUNT. I went over to the new one, copied over some files from the old one, tried to go back to the old one to copy env variables, but I noticed that the account has been purged from the registry... At least the files haven't been deleted.
I ended up reinstalling Windows.
After all my frustration, I recommend all companies with a CLI to visit the following website: http://uplz.skiilaa.me/
Thanks.1 -
Right, that's fucking it. Enough. I'm all for learning new technologies, frameworks, and development protocols, but my time on this earth is limited and at the end of the day if I'm having to spend DAYS AND FUCKING DAYS just scouring through obscure forum posts because the documentation is shit and just hitting ONE FUCKING PROBLEM AFTER ANOTHER then there comes a point at which the time investment simply isn't worth it. I HATE throwing in the towel because some FUCKING CUNT code problem has got the better of me, but fucking sense must prevail here.
Laravel fucking Mix. Do any any of you use this shit on Windows? Because I take my fucking hat off to you. I'm done with it.
Oh, so your server uses 'public_html' instead of 'public' does it? Well, of course you can just set
mix.setPublicPath('public_html'); then can't you?
No, you can't. Why? Because fuck you, that's why. Not only do you have to hard-code your fucking public directory into each specified path, additionally you have to set
mix.setPublicPath('./');
Why? Because fuck you, that's why. It took me the best part of two days to discover that little nugget of information, buried at the bottom of some obscure corner of the internet in a random github issue thread. Fuck off.
Onto next problem. Another 5 hours invested to extract some patchy solution that I'm not at all happy with.
Rinse, repeat.
Make it work with BrowserSync by wrapping your assets like so:
<link rel="stylesheet" href="{{ mix('/build/css/main.css') }}">
Oh oh oh but "The Mix manifest does not exist"... despite a fresh install of Laravel 5.6 and all relevant node modules installed... follow some other random Github thread with a back and forth of time-consuming suggestions for avenues of experimentation, with no clear solution.
Er no, fuck off. I'm going back to Grunt and maybe I'll try Webpack/Mix in another year or two when there's actually some clear answers, but as it stands this a wild goose chase into a fucking black-hole and I've got better things to do with my precious time. Go die.5 -
When your new build is compiling and just scooting right along so you think... sure, I could go for some food. No. Nope. Not even. It chooses the exact moment you leave to nope the fuck out completely with the most random compiler errors that you would have never seen had you just been sitting there in the chair. It's like it knows. Maybe next time I leave I'll promise to bring it back a taco.1
-
I can't stop procrastinating from doing what I need to do. This extends to even web development and coding on personal projects, which is something I really enjoy doing.
It's as if I have some sort of underlying fear holding me back each time I get the chance to get things done. Normally I don't have the time and make the excuse for myself that there "is not enough time" but tbh I now literally have an entire week in front of me free, with nobody to distract me. I am actually getting my long-desired time alone. I can finally power through all the things that require intense focus, like coding.
And yet, I can't bring myself to just do it. Instead I make excuses and go play video games instead (Overwatch has been a really bad time sink for me). I haven't been able to do what I wanted to for like a year now. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I need help guys!! Anyone have advice for me?9 -
I'm forced by my job to use this fucking unusable piece of horse shit also know as a Windows operating system.
And it's not only that I have experienced every fucking corner case bug that is possible to occur in our universe.
Not only that that for last 2 years I seen more blue screen than blue sky.
Not only that forced updates fucked my schedules so many times that now I'm really *afraid* to turn off my computer off because I have zero guarantee that I will be able to restart it in a reasonable amount of time.
No, neither of those broke me.
The thing that kills me everyday is, piece by piece ...
WHY THE FUCK THERE IS NO SINGLE, USEABLE, SANE TERMINAL EMULATOR ON WINDOWS
I JUST WANT TO TYPE SOME COMMANDS, COPY/PASTE TEXT AND SCROLL
IS IT TO MUCH ?????
FUCK CMD
FUCK POWERSHELL
FUCK WSL
FUCK ALL THOSE WANKY THIRD-PARTY EMULATORS
FUCK EVERY-COMMAND-LINE-REALATED THING ON WINDOWS
FUCKING USLESS SHIT
CANT EVEN DO SOME SSH COPY/PASTE SHIT
WITHOUT SOME WEIRD CHARACTERS POPING OUT EVERYWHERE.
AND FUCK THAT EVERY ONE OF THOSE MUST HAVE TOTTALY DIFFERENT SET OF KEY SHORTCUTS
AND THAT FUCKING BELL
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN PUT A FUCKING BELL SOUND AS DEFAULT SETTING ??
GO TO HELL MICROSOFT
I WANT MY LINUX BACK7 -
So friend of mine gave me a laptop because she is used to Ubuntu and wanted me to install it on her Windows 10 laptop. She also said to copy files from folder to external hard drive.
I said, sure!
So I went back home, copied all the files to my external HDD, everything copied successfully. I formated the laptop, installed the Ubuntu and set it up.
Time to move the files. I hooked up the HDD, I click on the folder... It's blank...
Okay, so I thought thats maybe Ubuntu's fault. I hooked the HDD to my brother's Windows machine, I open the folder...
"File or folder is corrupted"
Well fuck my life. 8 hours have passed since I started the file restoration tool on my computer. It says it's 16 hours to go. Luckily it restored 214 files already, so there's a hope8 -
Oh man, I fucked up...
I was doing after hours work for client, setup website with https.
Can't work over sftp with current user,so I give it the same user ID as apache, get files transferred and shit.
Go back to change uid, set wrong uid, now my user is ntp, I can't get into root, can't set password...
I fucked up
Tail between the legs, sent email to clients support, asking them to fix my user fuck up, waiting for reply -
How to waste money as a dev company, 101:
Give people ton of budget for their education to do whatever they want with it with no oversight at all:
1) Devs go to some shitty confs in places across the world that teaches them nothing (new) so they can visit interesting places on company's money
2) Go to a conf where you learn ton of stuff that can be implemented right away
...Then you come back, no time to do stuff properly, just "make it work" (or make it seem like it works), because of deadlines, poor prioritization, new features, bad planning, vague roadmap and poor client management. And the worst of them all, LGTM code reviews.
Few months later, who the fuck wrote this shit? Oh, dude that left? What about this mess? Oh, he's a goner too. What the fuck should this random undocumented chunk of code do?!
Do that a few times and you've got bunch of pissed off clients with a ton of bug reports nobody can solve without wasting 20x the amount of time it would originally take.. LGTM
RIP project.6 -
my day went to shit immediately... long night, got to sleep at 4AM, poked awake at 8AM, "hey wake up we gotta go to a town 200 miles away, dress like you're rich, we gotta go find a place to live for my new job" ugh, fine, got another 30 minutes or so of sleep in the car. We get there, the guy shows us a place that I physically can't fully stand up in and is like 600-some square feet for $750/month. Fuck that. We get halfway back home, "hey i forgot, we just finished renovating a new unit, come look!" goddammit gotta go BACK to the city... get there, it's a 2-floor 1200 square foot place for $675, a hell of a lot better. We leave to go see relatives in town, get a call, "hey hurry home your grandfather's hallucinating" we get there before an ambulance (we traveled 120 miles in less time than an ambulance took to drive 50 miles...) and my grandfather's hauled (by us, as the ambulance refuses to take him to the right hospital, they want to take him OUT OF STATE in an ambulance and he's not actively dying) to the VA in the city we were just in... he's immediately screened and his dementia has progressed to the point he needs to be in a nursing home in 12 hours somehow. I have no idea either. Anyways, we're about 3/4 of the way back home and it's now 2:40AM. My dad's been driving for 18 hours pretty much straight. I'm still awake, he's wired (the worst possible state to be in while driving) and family drama has happened as family members are already trying to take the land my grandpa lived on AND HE'S LITERALLY ONLY BEEN GONE FOR 6 HOURS.
so how was your day?7 -
Ransomware has the effect to destroying data and my will to live.
I come in to work yesterday to see everyone panicking. We got hit by WannaCry. The boss is with IT dealing with it and sends all of us home. No biggie, since all of my work data is backed up on an offsite server.
I come back into work to still see everyone in a frenzy. I think they are still overreacting to the attack, so I go to my corner in the office. I boot up to see the Ubuntu logo, which is a huge problem, not for me of course, but for everyone else who can barely work Windows. I barge in on my boss and ask him why the fuck is Ubuntu on the PC's.
He replies, "I looked it up, Linux is not affected by viruses".
What the fuck is wrong with people? After I tell him to revert back to Windows because he's being a fucking retard, he goes ahead to send all of us home.
I can only hope he doesn't install Zorin or Elementary because I will quit.6 -
So a few weeks back guy I used to work with contacts me for some dev work on a UK project he is working on, it's the Thursday and they need the thing the coming Monday. I tell him it's totally impossible, and it was so he asks what can done and how much, as well as how much for the entire project.
I stipulate exactly what can be done, with exclusions and say 7.5k and them mail over a detailed quote for 30k for everything.
I get told it's all fine, I must go ahead. I get through a bit more than expected by the Monday, but they still needed something to demo and I set I can get enough for demo in place by Thursday.
They demo to business and money and all that and everyone is happy and tell me to finish up along with some changes, and I don't even adjust the price as it was more work they wanted outside of the original spec.
Get to probably 80% done and they say we need to pause they need to look over other feedback.
Next thing, the PM come back, no they were never actually happy with the quote and they found some other guy willing to do the entire thing for 7.5k and they willing to only give me that for the code I have written so far. Cunts.
Anyway, he tries to take some blame for it, even though I know it's BS and says he will pay in another 7.5k from his share if I am willing and we call it quits.
This people, is why I don't freelance.
I feel sorry for this new kid, he clearly under quoted, and yes I am expensive, but with decades experience having worked on international projects for one of the largest digital asset management firms, my countries leading fintech dev house and now the lead developer for my countries largest insurance software dev house, you damn fucking strait my free time comes at a premium, as you are getting top fucking quality, 100% tested, high performing code.
They can go fuck an entire flock of ducks when they come back after this half ling fucks up the diamond I coded up for them.
Even funnier, they a UK based company, so for them this was a 1.5k project. Cheap cunts.3 -
TURTLEDICK
I need to know WHY THE FUCK one decides that the Esc button should TERMINATE APPLICATION WITHOUT ANY FUCKING WARNING...
Ive been playing Pokémon on a GameBoy Advance Emulator. Ive gotten used to saving every now and then, but out of habit i press Esc and not TAB to go back, and thats when I GET MANHANDLED WITHOUT CONSENT ITS NOT LEGAL FOR FUCK SAKE
Would there EVER be a case where this shit would be good to have?8 -
I interviewed for a Lead role at a popular energy producing company last week. The fucking retard that was interviewing me was multi tasking and only asked me a few questions. It was as if he was forced to do it. He came late and couldnt even introduce himself. He just started asking questions.
After about 2-3 questions, he asked me to tell him my current salary and my salary expectations. I told him to go fuck himself for the former and said i was open to negotiations for the latter. We said our goodbyes afterwards and the interview was terminated. The easiest I have done in a long time.
Fast forward to last friday, I received a call from someone in HR. She offered £60k. I couldn't believe what I heard, so I asked her to repeat the offer. She replied in the affirmative, £60k! I refused and told her I was hoping for £100k because that's like the average for the position I applied for. I could literally hear her gasp with shock when I said that. She replied by saying that's the kind of salary we pay people 2 levels above the one you have applied for! What the fuck I said to myself. Is your company that poor was all I could think of??? I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I told her to go and see if they can come back with an improved offer.
She sent me a mail this morning saying the best they can do is £75k. Oh no, for your troubles and mine, can you talk to HR and let them raise it £95k was my reply to her. She replied moments later, No. £75k is the final offer. C'mon, I presently earn more than that. I only want to leave my current company for new challenges.
Moral of the story: Politely ask for the salary range for the role you are applying for at the early stages. It saves both the employer and applicants having to go through an interview process only to be disappointed at the end.8 -
!dev
I just fucking hate people that have 10 years without talking to me and write me to ask for a favor.
Starting like: hey man how are you doing? Like you give a fuck about the shithole I'm at, just tell me what a fuck do you want and let me go back to my life.6 -
How the hell are you going to have a WebDev degree and not know what SSL is in 2022.
I also shouldn't be the one to notice your CPanel has a ton of unnecessary extra files and folders, and when you go to a subdomain corresponding to some random folders we find a "hacked by some dude" message. : |
I get your mom paid for the domain and hosting for you but you should really fucking know that information yourself.
And I don't care if your mom says 'everything is fine' on her side. You were hacked you need that information so you can tell when things are added that shouldn't be and in this case notify the host site in case the issue is on them while also knowing how to reset everything properly site specifically
Fuck. I should start charging my friends for being stupid and taking my time with things they should know how to do.
My degree is an associates of 'General Programming'. They have a degree in specifically 'Web Development'
90% of my web development knowledge is self taught. If her program didn't cover fucking ssl she needs her money back8 -
As a person from low-paying country, how do I reconcile with the fact that for the same work, and the same 8 hours, I get 1/3 of what a person in Germany does? In my previous team (same company), one of my teammates was from Germany. The same team, the same work, but he happened to earn a lot more.
This bothers me a lot sometimes. I have seen people requesting to be transferred to another country, and being denied, presumably because of the salary difference. Then, the person leaves, and someone in Australia gets hired. So, rather than moving a veteran person of whom you know fits your company culture to a higher-paying country, you let him go and hire a newbie in an equally-expensive country? What the fuckity fuck?
And to my friends from high-paying countries, especially managers: you don't have to feel bad, but have some common decency. If you come to my country, do not say "oh gosh, everything here is so cheap," or "the dinner for the whole team costs less than buying my family of four a dinner back home." That's offensive as fuck. If that's the case, fucking give me a raise you cheap fuck!30 -
!dev
Another tinder story from last night.
Matched with a girl, I thought she was cute and all. She texted me first, and we started talking. We kinda just clicked, had similar interests and everything. Conversation turned to musicals, she said she wanted me to come listen to one with her at some point when we were both free. I mentioned the whole story from Sunday night to her (see previous rant), and told her how the girl said I was a "rebound", but nothing actually happened. Then she changed the conversation by saying something like "rebounds normally involve sex, maybe I can make up for it".
After that the conversation got sexual. Dirty talk, nudes, everything. Talking about how hard she wanted me to fuck her and everything. That carried on until about 6 in the morning. We both decided we should go to sleep.
I woke up around 11, we talked for a few minutes, then she said she had to get ready for a doctor appointment, and I didn't think anything of it. Went to work at 2, had to go get a car from a dealership like 20 minutes away. Me and my coworker got back, I decided to check my phone and see if she messaged me or anything.
Come to find out, she basically just fucking ghosted me. Blocked me, unmatched me on tinder, the whole nine yards. No warning, nothing. 8 hours earlier she was saying how much she wanted me inside her (not paraphrasing), and now she just decided "nah fuck him altogether".
I don't fucking know what it is. It's been about 10 hours since I found out, and I just..I don't know. She could have just said "nah I don't wanna fuck" and I would have been 100% fine with that. But nope. No warning, just blocked me.
I'm not mad that she just backed out of it, I'm mad that she didn't say fucking anything about it. Like, even apart from all the sexting and stuff, I genuinely liked this girl. She was nice, cute, funny, just everything I could have asked for. And now, I'm honestly kinda sad about it. Everything seemed like it was going well (maybe all the sexting would have been better for another time in the future ya know, but I can honestly say I didn't initiate it), and now I have nothing again.17 -
You wanna know how Windows really pisses me off? I press ctrl + win + right arrow to go to workspace X, I launch application X, then I go back to application Y in the previous workspace (workspace Y)
Fucking application X shows up in workspace Y.
WHO THE FUCK IS RESPONS.. nevermind, I need a shower.1 -
I'm fucking done.
I honestly can't see how developers like to work for years on a single project. Nothing on the side, just the one project. Fuck I'm a year in and I've already been pushing my patience.
After working on something for half a year I want some diversity, but every time I ask for it I get the "we need you doing this" card. I've asked plenty of times for my manager to find someone else to do part of my work, and every time I get the same thing. "We're looking for someone, don't worry". Yeah my ass you've been saying that for months and I still haven't seen a job opening.
Honestly, in a month or so I'm gonna tell my manager that I'm quitting soon, so he has some time to actually go look for someone. If he doesn't, not my problem.
For real though, the company is nice, people are chill, I'm just lacking challenge, and no matter how many times I bring it up, nothing's being done with it.
What will I do when I quit? I have no fucking clue, but anything's better than doing the same repetitive shit day in day out. Fuck it I'll probably go balls deep on my own projects for a few months, see if I can generate an income there.
If that doesn't work out I'll just go back to the life of sucking someone's dick for a monthly salary.4 -
Guess what guys, I'm installing Ubuntu over Arch, because I need change and I just don't give a shit about distro elitism. Like many others, I got my start on Ubuntu (was probably Hardy Heron), and then I have done some hoppin' ever since. I never wanted to go back to plain Ubuntu because you know.., but fuck that, its perfect for what I need on my shitty laptop which I do nothing more than watch shitty livestreams on.
I also need something which looks vaguely caught up to 2019 GUI standards while expending max 13 kcal in the process (already spent a fair share with KDE). The 13 is for deleting the Amazon shortcut.9 -
After spending my entire holiday vacation fucking around with the one language that really digs with my state of mind (Ruby) when developing and having to do some quick troubleshooting on 2 of our applications (Java and PHP respectively) I can honestly say: I legit don't want to go back to that ever again.
But money means more to me than my own personal biases. I have delved in some of the most HATED platforms that developers could normally ask for in terms of work. And have only done some very basic (fucking obnoxiously basic) consulting in terms of Rails, to the point that it might not be even worth putting on a cv. But fuck me man, if I could just fuck around building rails solutions for a living, from the frontend to the backend, I think I would for once be happy with the things that I work with with things more than monetary pleasure.
Y'all know your boy, I ain't no neckbeard, but I fuck with things that a lot of others don't, to me Lisp dialects and Smalltalk are gifts from dev heaven, and I have thrown out Clojure in production (my app is still chugging along just fine at work thank you very mucho) but in terms of pure web development, I have never been happier than when I generate a rails project and start tinkering around.
Sigh.......here is to hoping that maybe I will eventually open my own rails shop.6 -
I am a big fan of the Go programming language. I really am. From syntax to the purpose and everything in between, I dig the language. I normally use it as a hobby language. My escape from my daily dosis of php, js and Java.....or when my workplace insists on believing that I am a designer instead of a developer........I am definitely not a designer....I am super slow at design.
But back at my main topic! Go. The language is cool, the environment is cool and it is booming here in the states.......can we PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE WITH CHERRIES ON TOP change the stupid mascot logo? I swear that thing looks absolutely fucking retarded. Much like the Perl 6 Mascot......I know this is a small thing but looking at that stupid "gopher" really irritates the fuck out of me. Coolest logo ever? Rust or Python really.6 -
What the fuck is clients' problem? This woman comes to me after one of the last bids I saved and spent on her stupid task! She asked me to come on skype and I said I didn't have the ID and maybe we can go ahead with a phone call or whatsapp call or even Google hangout! She stopped responding to my messages when I had sent her 3 options! It's not like I was willing to back out but hey, I DON'T FUCKING USE SKYPE ANYMORE! What a waste of my precious last but one bid!15
-
one of my guys decided to start learning c++ for the fun and fuck of it. We do not use c++ for shit (we web developers in this bitch) and he asked me if in the event of him getting completely fucking stuck he could come to me for guidance, I said sure. I do use c++ for personal game projects....it is mostly very bad C until I need c++, it is horrible seriously, I ain't no expert.
He decides to go with the LLVM. Creates a simple hello world app. Runs clang++ main.cpp -o main.
**QUICK PAUSE**
Done, the CLI returns the prompt back to him. He comes and asks me wtf is going on. I check on my machine(Linux based) and do the exact same thing. Executable comes out.
I check back on his windows machine, try typing the same shit. Nada. It does not throw errors or warnings, and the syntax is fucking fine, can't really fuck up c-outing hello fucking world. FUCKING NADA
I couldn't sit down to troubleshoot since it was still working hours, but this shit is haunting me and I am going ballsack crazy knowing that I won't be able to jump at it until tomorrow.
This just makes me dislike c++, i usually never have issues like that, but then again, I use the microsoft compiler (bitch at me all you want, most game developer tutorials etc use that shit, so does the Cherno, its all i know OK????)
I am going to go crazy sdjkfhasdkjlfghlajkhrfvluidefjbhfksjadhjksdsdsjksdjkl11 -
Stupid stupid stupid API that returns a 204 on failed validations.
Informative docs? Hell no! Here's a few hundred long-ass field names that you need to pass as a JSON.
Doesn't work huh? Yeah, you're structure's all wrong. Some of these are grouped in vaguely named keys like "Wholesale".
Oh you need those as well? Yeah, you can see the whole structure if you try to GET an object.
Oh you need an ID to GET an object? Yeah you can just go ahead and create as many as you want. This is just a sandbox API, it's cool.
Oh that's not the point? Ahh you need the structure to be able to create one! *haha* Right, I'll get back to you on that.
* Email correspondence over 2 weeks time. I have still yet to be able to make a an actual successful request. The fucking 204 doesn't count if it doesn't actually create the resource.
Fucking fucky fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
I swear to god if I ever meet this guy in person, I will probably buy him coffee or beer and have a long talk about how to build proper REST APIs.
Because I'm nice like that.8 -
Had to wake up 1 hour earlier today, and the worry of that kept me awake last night. Now I sit here like a zombie, hating the day that I'm going to have, which is not full of exciting coding with headphones on and Babymetal in my ears, but full of meetings.
I already see my eyes tearing up, reality fading, a guy in a meeting asking me something and pulling me back to reality so that I could stare blankly into his eyes and reply a generic "Yeah, I agree with your proposal", so everyone will think that I'm on drugs or something.
Welp... gotta go. Fuck.2 -
What was supposed to be a simple HDD to SSD upgrade for my brother ended up taking 3 fucking days.
His computer's idle temp was fucking 90c because of fucking YEARS worth of dust preventing fans from breathing, one of them was even dead so I had to go to best buy to get a new one.
Had a power outage happen in the middle of cleaning the damn dust out before replacing the bad fan. It took close to 24 hours for it to come back, and I just didn't bother until the day after cause fuck that.
When I go back to it, I finish cleaning the dust, clone the old HDD to the new SSD, do the swap out, replace the thermal paste on CPU cause why the fuck not at this point. Then turn it on to test, yeah from 90c down to 20c : |
Yeah... so I charged him for the new fan, and the hour-ish it took me to clean the damn dust and replace the fan... (drive was agreed to be done for free as a favor) Yeah not really worth charging for but I was pissed and that was the 'nicest' way I could show how annoyed I was with him not properly caring for the PC. Like honestly 90 degrees celsius. I refuse to believe he didn't notice impacted performance in his games7 -
Good fucking lord, what the fuck is happening with dev recruitment these days. I do get that the technologies go forward, but me being a 13+ years as dev, i am able to learn new shit, pretty easily. BUT NOPE, if you say in the interview that you don't know stuff, then they never call you back.
I worked as a senior fullstack for the past fucking 5-6 years on remote, but most probably i will be forced to move to another city and work as a junior.
Fuck also that my wife is pregnant second time and this time ther is a high risk of misscariege. So i need to work at home and also somehow look after my kid and wife. Nope, according to every hr ever FUCK THAT.4 -
well... I decided to build my own network for my home lab and then I head out to go shopping.
I went for a router and I told this guy what I wanted
a good router that could allow me access the internet when I want over my phones hotspot or supports USB tethering.
guess what? this blessed guy sells me a router locked to optus. I saw the "yes optus" tag but I was so fucking stupid and clueless.
why? I was just too fucking stupid to trust a fellow Nigerian by telling him I have no idea of networking and how routers work.
the router ? netgear n300 dgn2200
did it have the features I wanted at least ? no
he refused to collect it back and I sold something very dear to me to be able to buy that crap. I thought I could solve all my networking issues at once.
fuck these people, bad government bad people.
I'm done crying over it though.
any ideas on how to go around this?
I've been looking and looking for the past two days, for a less destructive option.3 -
Installed Ubuntu 18.04 on my system. It feels so good to be back after a year and half approx. It feels refreshing using 18.04, let's see how much time can it hold me. Maybe I'll go on arch after this, last 2 times have been disastrous, but they say 3rd time's the charm. I never found who the fuck "they" is represented everywhere in these type of lines.
-
Who is that genius at Microsoft thought about that if adding a new email to outlook on Android and credentials are wrong, CLOSE THE WINDOW AND GO BACK TO SETTINGS!!
Error message says wrong username/password then let me fucking fix them not go back and enter everything from scratch (outgoing, incoming servers, username, password)
Fuck this shit -_- -
*euro-based rant incoming*
"left or right? left or right?!"
DUDE! I'M RIDING A SMALL MOUNTAIN BIKE WITH A FUCKING HEAVY TRAILER OF GROCERIES AND YOU ARE IN A FUCKING E-BIKE!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO AROUND ME PUSSY!!!! I'M NOT GOING TO GRIND UP AGAINST THE SIDEWALK WITH MY TRAILER.... BECAUSE ITS A FUCKING TRAILER, AND ITS FULL OF FUCKING GROCERIES!!!!!!
god, fucking boomers... i swear to god if i get one more rube talking to me while i'm biking and saying i should "stay to the right" when EVERY time i'm CLEARLY right of the middle of the road, i'm going to start yelling back rude comments and put the fucking low IQ assholes in their place... (probably what I should have done from the first place. why are we to take shit from them, when they own 75% of the wealth but are 25% of the population.) absolute fuck sticks get the fuck off my road, go ride off a cliff5 -
It's been a long time since I've felt the need to rant about anything here. This is the only appropriate place other than Reddit I can think for for now.
Why the ever-living FUCK does every 'entry-level' tech job, even fucking DESKTOP SUPPORT, require more experience than the fucking DEVELOPER AND ENGINEER OF THE INITIAL SYSTEM COULD POSSIBLY HAVE?! I'm a fucking high school kid trying to find a decent job that doesn't involve sales bullshit, because if I go into sales I'll want to KMS. Put me in a back room fixing shit, monitoring shit, better yet scripting shit or something like that and I'll be FUCKING PEACHY. I will do wonders. But no, these people must think that my resume (WHICH IS 3-YEARS STACKED WITH INTERNSHIPS ***IN TECHNOLOGY***) is bullshit. WOW.
Fuck this. I'm sick of looking for these shitty jobs that'll make me want to jump off of a bridge into a cliff which I'll then voluntarily fall off of into shark infested piranha water. Can't there just be a simple "Hey, we need a guy who can fix tech, maybe help people within the company with their computer issues, you look nice" kind of job? I haven't had fucking TIME to get any kind of certifications yet. I just got into fucking college, FOR BUSINESS IT NONETHELESS. DOES THAT PROVE I'M AT LEAST FUCKING INTERESTED IN WHAT I SAY I AM FUCKERS?!7 -
Sometimes I look at my old code and I wish I could go back in time and punch my self in the face for writing that shit
But then I look at it as I'm actually improving so guess it's ok?
Spent 4 hours fixing callback mess I had in my ReactJs project, making it all as Promise and async hope I don't fuck up this time -
FUCK MICROSOFT!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?!?!?!? WHY IS THIS EVEN A THING!?!?!?!?
WHYYYYYY HAVE WE GOT A FUCKING DARK THEME IF WHEN I ADD ANNOTATIONS IN SSIS IT'S HARDCODED COLOURS.
No...seriously...not only am i doing this bullshit waste of time redundant annotations for some bullshit client that thinks they know shit but when I use the dark theme like a normal person, if you go back to a normal theme, all annotations in white.
Just finished like 30 packages on this slow ass remote connection and now all these backward ass people that use light themes (like everyone but me) can't see anything written.
Fuck you Microsoft!!!!! Soooooo many fucks for you right now....don't even know how to express the fucks.4 -
Not dev related but what is the fucking point of someone saying I'm going there to do that and when i ask them to show me THAT what they did they say "oh it was so bad I'm not gonna show you haha"
Like how do i explain it without being rude.....
........
Here's a savage example scenario
---
Your wife: "i just came back from a mountain in the middle of nowhere filming an ad and in gonna be in that ad"
You: "cool. Id love to see that ad, could you show it to me?"
Your wife: "noo i was so ugly and it was so bad im not gonna show u"
---
What are you gonna think? What was your wife filming secretly behind your back and she doesnt want to show you? Was she even filming in the first place? Or was she fucking a guy? What is one supposed to think of this conversation? Why fucking tell me ur gonna go there and do that and then not talk about it at all after doing it? What the FUCK who DOES THAT ???2 -
Why is it that so many developers have trash tier hardware? Sometimes I feel like 90% of developers are hardware retards. You work on a computer all day why the fuck are you running one from the early 2,000's that takes a year to boot and can barely run the applications you need? Hardware is a lot cheaper than time and better hardware will save a huge amount of time. And why the fuck do so many devs use laptops? Trashy little craptastic aluminium shit cans folding under the weight of the heat they produce. The more work you do the slower they go. Meanwhile I sit back on my heavily over clocked, water cooled, desktop and fly through workloads that laptop users wouldn't begin to be able to think about. So basically buy a desktop with high end hardware and you'll be amazed what you can get done and how much less painful stuff will be. And if you need to go mobile just grab a Chromebook and remote into your desktop. You'll be happy you did.20
-
This technical interview went horribly awful... I cant believe what they asked me.... And it was all on english. Interviewed by german and indian guy. I got SO stressed the fuck out just from this 35 min technical interview. I drowned in stress. If this is the reality of engineering world im not sure if i can handle all this stress....
If i work a job i would literally just go to office and come back home like a literal zombie. Emotionless soulless purposeless zombie. Emptiness. Void. Numb. As i work in the office i would put a fake smile face as if im so happy working while from inside drowning in stress and decomposing out of depression... The amount of money i earn wouldnt even be spent because id have no energy or will to go out and spend it. It's meaningless....16 -
Soundcloud used to know how to shuffle your liked tracks. Not it only shuffles the tracks that are in the playlist and the playlist only contains the (literally) visible tracks.
Basically, If you want to shuffle more than 30 songs at once you hace to scroll down for it...3 -
Ugh time for my first google chrome rant... thing...
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, finished an arch linux install, fixed my slow internet connection in linux, installed only the things I need, vs code and google chrome but fuck me!
Google chromes performance is sinking like a rock, dropping about 25-40% of frames in youtube, slow page loading and the sort.
Installed firefox to ensure it wasn't my system and its all running perfect, I don't like using firefox and want to go back to the warmth of chrome, anyone able to help on this one :-(8 -
So im pretty sure I made the biggest/dumbest fuckup for the year already...
Deleting the majority of our RHEL server's root partition.
Blonde mistake for sure.
Technically i didn't actually delete it... just fucked up the block device so it's no longer recognised as existing.
I could go fishing for data and put it back together... but since i have the boot par and all the uset account configs... plus i actually documented all remarkable server updates cuz im trying to get better at the whole 'having a team' thing... im just gonna play it safe and go through it all like old school video games when you die right before the checkpoint so you need to go through the same paths again and again... but not too fast or youll fuck up somewhere easy and itll drive u nuts when u gotta reiterate again.
@jestdotty here you go. Always saying I just mention positives about myself... cant get much worse than this.10 -
Fucking fuck shit monkeycocksucking gargling wtf!
I was getting some stuff done in my accounting software and it bugged me that the fields were dark and the fonts as well, thus seeing fucking shit. This was clearly a bad choice of a gtk3 dark theme, thus i switched to the fucking default adwaita, suddenly gnome session crashes.
Ok, i just log out and log back in.
Logout.... Nothing happens.... Ctrl-alt-backspace , nothing happens (and i knew i enabled that in the settings)
Ok let's do it a bit more forceful and restart the display manager... Gdm starts... I insert my credentials... It fucking crashes.
WTF!!!
I desperately try to debug it, xsession error msg'es? Nope. Something in /var/log/messages? Nope. Something, anything at all, nope sherlock nopedinope!
About to go batshit crazy, purging and reinstalling all of gnome, thibking that, what ever setting lust have broke it, it will be fixed now.
No fucking fuck desktop!!!
I lost my nerve and replaced gdm with lightdm, and i finally, after three hours wasted on my machine, i get my gnome desktop back... But in a state of mess! Extensions don't work and make it crash again, user themes? Nope, go fuck yourself with plain default.
I'm really losing my shit, business is almost non-existant, and now ly FUCKING desktop refuses to work like i want to. Everything is fucking broken to shits !!
I'm gon a go to my gf, and relax a little, at least i still have a working laptop.
Question is, for how long???
Fml4 -
With work from home being way more productive why the fuck would any software development company go back to the office? Rent, workstations, and electricity are expensive! Why spend that money when it’s not essential to your business.6
-
I have so much shit I want/need to learn. I've started learning C while picking JavaScript back up, I'm learning basic electronics but I have a lot planned for that. Not even related but I want to fucking Cook, yeah i said it i wanna cook but why does that make me feel like i should just stop and go back to programming. Idk I just spill shit in these rants. Also wanna learn to speak another langauge but can't find the time, and I have college and dude I'm trying and trying and I need someone to appreciate something I do before I flip or before C destroys my entire being from being the weirdest yet interesting yet fucking brain melting. And fuck JS I Love it but sometimes it's a twat let's be honest4
-
I knew this might be an issue, but really Linux just sucks balls. It may not be Linux's fault, but the user experience could be a fuck ton better.
Spent 1.5 hours trying to get mint installed on second drive. It works fine if you don't want to do anything with it.
As you can probably surmise I died on getting the gpu driver installed. Just starts to a black screen. No amount of juggling is helping. It just refuses to show the screen with an nvidia driver installed. What is worse is that settings that might help are not set. Like nomodeset in grub. If you know some drivers fuck up the grub interface then add nomodeset and not leave it up to the user to "figure this shit out". Because users are tired of figuring this shit out.
Really really fucking disappointed. I thought to myself: lets install steam and see how it does. The reality: fucking stuck for 1.5 hours on trying to boot into x with graphics acceleration and failing.
Many of you hate on windows, but one thing it has going for it. It doesn't do fucked up shit like this. It has failsafes that try and account for this.
Fuck you linux. You need to fucking grow up and stop relying on users to fix every damn thing in the command line. Go back to server where you belong.
I know I will get the "I told you so" messages, but guess what? The computer I got doesn't come preinstalled with windows. You have to pay to get it. At this point windows is the only fucking viable solution to make my shit work.
Nvidia, go die in a fire bitch. Fix your fucking Linux support you worthless shit heads.
This has been a rant brought to you by "the pain of others". I hope you enjoyed the experience.
PS, I love you all. Even the "I told you so" bitches.12 -
I fucking hate Visual Studio!
Don't get me wrong, from time to time I actually enjoy it but not today.
It all went south when I tried to add a new handler to an fucking old asp.net webpage. I had the access the 'Range' headed to stream bits of audio and video files to the client. It was working absolutely fine for the first hour and a half, after that point the fun started...
VS decided that my source code and the binaries won't match anymore. Everytime I tried to add a fucking breakpoint or debug this cunt of an error it would just refuse
The worst part that made me go apeshit was when I finally got a breakpoint and the exception. Some unknown fucking system dll just kept on killing my thread without a proper error message because it's optimized to the fucking moon and back!
Any ideas from the devs here on what's going on and how the fuck I can fix this?6 -
God, the dude who "assisted" me today can go and fuck himself with a cactus.
I need to configurate and integrate some cms into a project. But since the documentation is utter horse shit and superficial, it's fucking torture to do so!
So after creating an issue on their helpdesk, i get an answer from some employee there. Instead of actually posting something useful, he decide that he could instead quote the fucking documentation.
Of course, he also quotes the very page i mentioned in my issue for being COMPLETELY USELESS. This goes back and forth. And he keeps just quoting the fucking documentation.
So i decompiled their product and painstakingly worked out how the feature worked that i needed.
Fuck you support asshole. I hope you get to maintain a legacy VBA project!3 -
Took a week of PTO for a vacation because I'm pretty close to spent these days. Planning on getting in some kayaking and fishing I think, maybe some noodling on the guitar or read some Tolkien, as I really need to take a break from the computer and screens in general, and living in the latest COVID epicenter in the US I can do fuck all else.
I'm /really/ trying to force myself to ignore slack and work emails. I did all I could to leave my team prepared, and given that most are juniors who need A LOT of supervision since working remote, I fully anticipate having to fix everything and get shit back on track when I return next week. Telling myself it's inevitable so worrying about it now won't be any better than waiting till next week. LEARN TO READ CODE AND COMMIT HISTORY FUCKERS!
I know I have a full workload slated for the rest of the year and into Q1 21, so I know letting shit go for a little while is the best thing I can do for myself, and so that my family doesn't have to deal with me being a bastard all the damn time.3 -
To the devs at inc.com
Fuck you.
Just resign.
Do me a favour. Don't touch any computer for life.
After reading 2 articles I need to login.
Okay fine.
Facebook login fucking doesn't work.
Twitter login worked.
But but fucking take me to some idiotic article. Hello? That was not what I logged for.
Now go back. And fuck fuck fuck
Article still says login to read this.
And click on login. Nope. Nadda. Nothing happens.
How how how. How are you even getting paid?
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.2 -
Interviewer said that passing technical interview means that 90% of the time I will get the offer.
In the final interview with management, I can't answer some questions because I didn't study. Isn't final interview should just about getting to know each other like hobby, interest, talking about company products?
They gave me some puzzle to solve :(
After that, they wait another 1 week just to tell me I don't pass. Why the fuck they wait 1 week just to tell me that? They should just tell me 1 day after!
I still have other job openings right now, but the job searching has been very depressing.
I will give it like 1 more month. But if I can't get any leads, I will just give it up. Maybe tech is not the right job for me.
I will just go back to my old job in non-tech. It's not exactly my dream job, but at least they don't treat me like shit like this.9 -
FUCK YOU TECH LEAD! Our manager explained what he wanted 4 MONTHS AGO! You said we could do it! We can do it! You suddenly changed your mind, instead of asking me WHO IS WORKING ON THE PARTS REQUIRED TO DO THE MAGIC! MAYBE I WOULD KNOW IF IT IS POSSIBLE OR NOT??? MAYBE??? NOW I HAVE TO GO FIGHT YOU, YOUR EGO WILL SAY YOU ARE RIGHT, YOU WONT BACK DOWN, AND WE WILL SCREAM AT EACH OTHER! FUCK, RUINING MY 4 DAY WEEKEND RELAXATION! AND IN FRONT OF THE BOSS!!! FUCK
-
Be me. Use DDG to search for nearby bowling alleys. DDG provides reviews in form of Yelp. Click "read more" on review. Yelp transfers me to a bogus url, which prompts
"Open in Another App?
Would you like to leave DuckDuckGo to view this content?
No Yes"
And then, without letting me click "No", I get automatically transferred into Yelp's page in the app store, and if I try to go back, I just get redirected again.
Fuck off. I just wanted to read your reviews in the browser. I had no interest of downloading your app just to read a couple of reviews, and I most certa-fuck-inly have no desire to download your shitty app now.1 -
Today's episode of Bluey is called: "I am not ready to go back to work after a week long mandatory vacation in which I will go back into a space that has made my passion into a shitless grabs for money"
Seriously, If I hear "the president of the institution does not like <X>" I will blow my brains out.
What is worse, every "leAderShiP" meeting I ask if shit is actually a policy towards were my department head says "no, but the boss does not like <X>" <--- then fucking make it a policy.
Seriously, I have a wife, I have but one woman to keep happy, I ain't about to break my back on dumb shit that some lady dislikes when I already have to keep 1 woman happy.
Going to work is a paycheck to me, but fuck man, I am seriously leaving. Good luck trying to find fkers this part of town that can patch my software be it that I wrote it in the most esoteric shit known to mankind on these modern days.
Might start listening to recruiters, I get about 50 offers a day.1 -
I hate the process of trying to get hydrated when I’ve gone through a period of apparently thinking I’m a cactus.
When I don’t drink water at all, I feel fine. No dry mouth, no symptoms of dehydration.
I *start* trying to hydrate and it’s like my body thinks this is the best time to start giving me all those dehydration symptoms it doesn’t even bother with when I’m not drinking water because it’s just given up on me listening to them.
I drank 64 oz of water yesterday and woke up with my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth and my throat scratchy.
I know that I need to keep drinking water in large quantities for a period of time for my body to chill the fuck out again, but words can’t describe how tempting it is to just go back to being a cactus.
Hydrating sucks.8 -
Fuck the Fourth of July.
I was already feeling pretty unpatriotic after all the terrible things the USA has been doing lately, and then to top it all off, they closed down almost every street within a one-mile radius of my apartment just because I happen to live near the place where they're shooting off fireworks. I spent the evening with my girlfriend, enjoying a nice dinner and sort of forgetting it was even really a holiday, then got in my car at 9:00 expecting to be home by 9:30. Nope. I spent over an hour driving in a huge circle around my apartment, searching for even one single road that the police hadn't closed to traffic. Finally managed to get into the area on a back road and get home, but it took so long that I went through all five stages of grief before I got home at 11:00.
They also closed the nearest bridge across the river so I couldn't go shopping for groceries today, either. My pantry is almost completely empty. At least I'm working from home tomorrow so I'll have time to buy food then.8 -
I have a junior friend living in same building where I used to live. I used to help him in small doubts related to college and in some random stuff.
I once typed an application in a language which does not have its fonts in ms word by default. I used Google typing tools and Google docs to type and format it. I even taught him the process which is easy to understand.
Out of blue, after few years, this SOB pings me today and asks same thing to do again since it's urgent. I told him that I am middle of something and told him to use same tools as I used and give it a try. This fucker says he forgot how to do it. Well no problems, I told him how to do it and I will not be able to do it for him right now.
He said then try doing it after coming back to home.
Mind you that he is an engineering student.
You asshole, if it is so much urgent then use your brain and figure out this small thing yourself. If you can wait till I come back home then in which fucking way it's urgent? Go fuck yourself. I am done with your shitty attitude and on next offense you are going on my block list.4 -
Has anyone tried the "Connect app" on windows? To be able to screen cast for example android screen to windows.
What in the fucking fuck are those guys in Microsoft smoking? It fucking hijacks your mouse and keyboard with no way to control your PC. Only thing that works to go back to your PC is ctrl+alt+delete. Wanna close it? Alt+F4. No fucking UI except some broken pseudo setting. Srsly it seems like some intern did it. WHAT THE SHIT??1 -
Fuck you windows!!!
I had to leave town but wanted some surveillance and had no cctv or ip camera set up. So I added my laptop to teamviewer and used its webcam.
Now its not showing up on teamviewer and most likely because WINDOWS SCHEDULED A MAJOR UPDATE
It probably rebooted and went on to boot into ubuntu. Should have fucking run ubuntu in the first place. I am going to be so furious when I get back.
*in case you are wondering, I had to leave in a hurry and didn't go for ubuntu because I had never used the camera in it and wasn't sure if ubuntu had the required drivers *1 -
!rant
Guys, Im curious, what you would say about situation if you are in need of some quite simple tool and you write it but becouse you need it today, not tommorow, you just dont give a heck about all the fancy stuff and (lets say for php) you start to write all in 2-3 files like you was back beginner?
Or you just nope out of situation?
Do you refactor that when you bored just becouse this cant be on my disk, noone can see this abomination?
Or you delete after usage (only to relaize 5 minutes latter you need it back :P )
Im curious your opinion.
PS.
nope, if you came to bitch about any of opinions even opinion "well, i wouldnt give a fuck and just not do it", go away and get lost.
E: typo12 -
Windows defender, this is for you:
GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU CANCEROUS PIECE OF SHIT!
If you were as advanced as you claim to be you'd realize that the EXE you've just deleted originated from a compiler. Unfortunately, your target group exclusively consists of people that are incapable of using anything that goes beyond a web browser.
If your developers would have some kind of integrity it would allow you to be turned off permanently instead of making users leave the Windows platform entirely.
Do Microsoft employees even eat their own dog food like they did back in the golden NT era?8 -
Why the fuck don’t people add their job titles on Slack!!! You’ll get a random message or bug report and you’ll have to go back to Bamboo Hr to know what team the idiot work in.3
-
So a few days ago I sat down to write a redis adaptor to transfer data back and forth between redis and elasticsearch. I download the go-redis package and start writing a simple client.
I run the client and it gives me an error. So I'm stuck at it for about 30 mins and then I say to myself, "You dumb fuck you haven't started the redis-server". So I open up another terminal and type in `redis-server` and then I realise I don't even have redis installed on my machine.
I do such dumb things every weekend. If you have any dumb mistakes you made while writing code please share them in the comments. :-) -
Was recently in a motorcycle accident and haven't been cleared to go back to work yet so I'm trying to build my first Android app.
I don't know Java, XML, kotlin, Android studio, or what the fuck a Gradle is; but I figured I'd take my app idea and download Android studio then try winging everything from there.
Needless to say, I'm having a damn hard time lol. I have been watching firebase tutorials on YouTube to try and figure out how to add authentication to my app. I kinda got it working in the AVD. But my personal Google account has 2FA enabled so I can't seem to get the app to sign me out, or sign me back in. (I was able to authenticate once successfully.)
I have no idea if having 2FA enabled is even the problem. I tried turning on debugging and can't seem to figure out how to actually get the app to debug or get a debug console open.
I seriously feel like the world's biggest n00b right now. Going to go YouTube/Google how to get the debugging working. Then I'm off for a round of learning how to read a debug report!
Hahahaha... Kill me now -_-'2 -
A day in the life of @C0D4
Yay it's Tuesday.....
So morning goes something like coffee, yea no coffee no @C0D4, get to the office, get busy with normal morning routine - run the almost automated scripts I have to run - delete the 100+ emails I don't actually need from last night, read the 2 I do care about - yea 2 freakin emails out of 117 🤦♂️
But what ever that's what outlook rules are for... except I actually have to glimpse over them all just in case something of mine broke.
Go get another coffee,
Start working through the days tickets - ok cool nothing major to worry about, let's get back to writing tests from yesterday.
Well fuck that was a bad decision, no matter what I do this little fucker won't pass, yet doing this process step by step, detail for detail, it works - no issues, but automate this fucker and it screams its head off.
So fine, I give up and go to lunch,
Come back... spend next 3 hours on this 1 problem... 1 FREAKING problem 🤦♂️🥴🤦♂️🥴🤦♂️
This thing has beaten me, and for no apparent reason - it just doesn't like running under a test scenario.
Would have given up hours ago, except its a vital piece of code I'm trying to cover 😑 of course it is.
Well somewhere in there I managed to do a deployment for another project and change a few things in there.
This week is starting to look like hell,
Yay hump day tomorrow!!!!!
That's something, the week is coming to an end.... right? Please.... right!!!5 -
GoLive for this big feature is set for Thursday. So the customer approaches me and asks can our team do it. Sure it can be done if everything goes perfectly, but... This means that the feature won't be tested, everything won't probably go perfectly (which it didn't because of customer selected third party api surprise nondocumented features (bugs)) and Thursday release is almost as dumb fucking idea as Friday release. I said it more nicely and I got:
"I don't agree with you"
from a person who has 0 understanding of what is going on and whose boss pays me to tell them what it needs in order to work and prosper.
And we had this fucking conversation three times. So basically he interrupted my coding that directly impacts the schedule in order to debate how fast things can be done. Don't these people understand that everytime you interrupt a software engineer the deadline is pushed by the same amount of time you waste of mine + 30minutes of refocus time to get back into the thing you were doing.
Best part was that the deadline was this magic date the guy pulled out of his ass without consulting the developer team and nobody really cared about the deadline =D
FUCK1 -
So my worst experience with a project manager was this:
New changes to the system came in, and i was the developer of android frontend back then
So he's shouting at me like 'why is dis so slow, why deez delayed, why those render misaligned on the orbitrary tablet, etc.'
So we finish in like an hour, he walk away back to his office, I went to smoke, came back, oh hey, I wanna go to the toilet
And back then at that place we had a small one person WC, so when someone was there, anyone else would have to stand outside the cabin
So I come next to it, oh, fuck, occupied, and I hear ridiculously loud and echo-y splashes of pure solid shit hitting the water surface)
A min later the thunderstorm was over, the door opens, and my PM rushes out, sees me, stops (I was in his way) and gives me a deathstare for a quick second. Awkward moment's over, he walks around me, but I just could not keep my mouth shut, so I said aloud
"Well, no wonder" -
I wanted to update my previous rant in the comment but what happened is such a fucking nonsense I think it deserves its own.
For those who don't want to look what it is, just another C++ noob (aka me) complaining about how the language was a bitch to him by throwing a random SEGFAULT on release while it didn't show up on debug. Welp.
Half an hour and a ton of std::cout later (thought I would try to read a disassembly ? Think again) I figured out what was the problematic section of code. And guess what ? It was a section I didn't even modify and I never had problems with. Something completely unrelated to what I was rightly imagining causing the issue.
To identify which exact subsection was throwing the error to my face I added more tag code.
Rubbing my hands and ready to fix the fuck out of this damn shit, I built it, launched it…
And all of a sudden the code worked.
All I did. Was to add more cout to know which line fucked up. And now it works.
So. Serious question now: is it a clear sign from heaven I should stop working with such languages and should go back in my shitty high level languages kindergarten ?10 -
So last year I sent my PC to get a motherboard replacement, as I couldn't be arsed replacing it or even research what motherboard I should get(was dealing with more urgent personal matters).
Anyway, I get it back and everything works good but not the front USB port.. I always found it weird, but also didn't bother to open the case and double check, so I let it go and assumed, since the motherboard was fried, that the USB wires were faulty.
Time passes by and I decide to open the case for annual cleaning job... Turns out the motherfucker didn't connect the port, why?? Fucks knows why... Obviously the wires were "short" and he didn't even try to pull it out further!!! You little piece of shit,for a full year I've been living with a missing usb port, the fucking front facing mother fucking usb port. Fuck.
Moral of story? Don't be a lazy ass and fix your shit on your own!4 -
Someone on WhatsApp asked me did I like the new update or not ?
Well here is what I replied,
WHAT THE FUCK ?! NOOooo ! already there is Snapchat whose USP is this feature, Snapchat is Snapchat, then they introduced this feature on Instagram that's ok...but WhatsApp should be WhatsApp.
ALL I WANTED IS A SIMPLE PLAIN MESSAGING APP, THAT'S IT !
Now it's wasting my time more, earlier I just used to see Instagram & Snapchat stories in my free time BUT now !? I will see these fucking stories again here on WhatsApp too... BECAUSE I can't help it, it's in our human mind psychology too, we are curious beings, we are somehow bound to open that Status Tab when we will see a green dot ! If it's not true SEE THE NEWS ! NASA just found a whole new Solar System just ~40 light years away ! YES we are curious, we explore, we invent things.
I hope they will roll it back, but NO the ugly truth my friend is people will rant about and forget, and we will end up using it too, hate this seriously ! for instance the new iPhones have no 3.5mm audio jack, WTF ?! well say goodbye to my favourite ear buds ! and buy these FUCKING NEW Monstrously over priced bound-to-buy pair of earbuds if you need high quality audio out.
AND are we bound to be slaves and continue using these features because everyone else is doing so ? NO ! I will use whatever I like the most, I will go back to the roots, may be use those old school IMs and may be ask others to join it.6 -
I've been reticent to chime in on this weeks group rant, feels too personal...but it is what is is.
Most emotional was losing a dev to cancer, and an analyst to an allergy, and an engineer to an accident...ugh.
Most intense was probably losing servers and hard drives without recovery, not being able to get databases back online because they went down so bad, websites being down, not meeting some quarterly goal, shit not building, email campaigns that go sideways...fuck...anything involving reactionary leadership...unrealistic expectations.
But all that shit, while seemingly important or "stressful", pales in comparison to someone you fought with in the trenches not being there anymore.
restore -if friends -
!dev
Well, it's time for a personal thing today, because I was hit with some shit today that I'm still kinda shook about.
So, as a bit of introduction (I've mentioned these in previous posts before but whatever, not everybody sees everything): I'm currently a senior in high school and I'm in the school's band (neither are too related, but a bit of setup for this story). I've been talking to a girl lately and I think I like her. She's fun to be around, kinda silly, and just great overall. She makes me happy and I like it. Her name is Grace, her sister's name is Taylor (just to avoid confusion later)
In the school's band, we play at home football and basketball games. Today was a basketball game. Normally when there's a game I just stay after school because I don't want to go home and come back a couple hours later, plus I like to hang out with some of the other people who do the same thing.
Grace was staying after for the game too. I was talking to her in the band room, kinda flirting a bit (on an unrelated side note, she's ticklish). Someone comes in the band room because he wanted to practice a bit, to get ready for the game. She's going back and forth between the band room and somewhere else (not too sure where she was). At one point I left to get a drink, come back, she's sitting next to him, just talking. I join the conversation, and her sister (Taylor) comes in, to get ready herself.
I go over to talk to Taylor for a minute. She looks at Grace and the other guy, then looks at me and just says "separate them". To which I said "...what? why? how?"
Me and her go outside the band room and she tells me that basically the guy has been cheating on his girlfriend with Grace, and it's just hurting everyone involved, except him basically. His girlfriend doesn't seem to fucking care, and he's done it before with someone else. (The other person actually like vaguely mentioned it to me a long time ago, but I didn't really know what she was talking about until now)
So basically, dude's cheating on his girlfriend with Grace. And I like Grace. Honestly don't know what the fuck to do. I want to do something because whenever something's going on with Grace, her sister always trusts me to make sure shit goes right. Some times when Grace wouldn't eat, her sister would always talk to me and ask me to make sure she actually eats.
Fuck guys. This stuff has been on my mind for the past ~4 hours and I don't know what to do, or if I even can do anything about it. I just needed to get this shit off my chest.
Sorry for the long personal story. Some parts I didn't really articulate very well. Honestly it was more of me just getting everything into words.4 -
Low code platforms (e.g. OutSystems) will gradually win over developers who will look back at all the time they've wasted and think "why the fuck didn't tell me about this sooner!!!"
Disclaimer: I work for OutSystems and can honestly say that I can create a production-ready app while you're still picking the best JS framework to get started with. Been there...
Actual rant: Time to move up the abstraction layer, get stuff done on time and on budget and go home (also on time) to enjoy life!12 -
Currently working on a GUI config generator using MFC in VS.
Firstly, fuck sake Microsoft. Why can't I just use a normal string? The amount of times I've had to do god awful conversions to/from CString using their numerous typedefs L, _T and don't even get me started on LPCTSTR, LPCWSTR... It's just ugly and tedious. I've gotten used to it and all but still, ugh.
Secondly, some of the functions are just stupid. Want to disable a control? Hmm, we'll there's a function called EnableWindow, but no DisableWindow. How did I do it before? Oh, so to disable the control it's EnableWindow(FALSE). Of course it is, duh. Why am I so stupid?
Let's use the GetWindowText function. Simples. CString something_txt = GetWindowText().
Nope, it takes the CString as a parameter and copies it into that rather than just returning the text. Now one line becomes two. I get that this is a really small semantic thing but it irks me.
I just want to go back to my fedora partition. Wah.
PS: I'm sure there's good reasons for what I'm ranting about, but I really don't care. I just need to rant about my frustrations. 😂1 -
People in this discussion will refer to my classmates doing their project we were allowed to choose like 3 months ago and back then I already told them they won't ever manage to make it work in time.
People: "yo could you help real fast"
Me: "aaah not again but okay why not"
People: "here's the code"
Me: "the fuck is this? What is it supposed to do?"
People: "ummm it should doooo eeeerrr... Like this and .... Yeah we don't know. The output should look like that but it doesn't"
Me: "the fuck did you even try to do. That'll never work. And I told you the same thing like 3 months ago when you just chose the project. Just go and use some random math lib you find"
People: "kkkk"
Their code seriously made no sense at all. Parsing substring within like 5 nested loops and like 20vars called "s1" and "theString" and what not. -
Oh man, stands out first in my memory. Was going ok until my original boss got transferred in to another department... The first replacement was one of our HR managers 🤔
The person she then made as similar to a team lead had issues with me when I had just a bit of a different perspective about a problem to solve - I soon found myself in technical support. Go figure...
I'll never forget what one of the directors said to me a little while after they shifted me:
"Not everyone can do what they want to do if they are not good at it..." I look back on that heart breaking moment and say with pride: FUCK, YOU.3 -
The getting started of react native sucks big time.
If you don't want to display a completely centered text then go fuck yourself or what?
I mean there isn't even a howto on platform-independently not overlapping the fucking status bar. Everyone must've faced this problem when starting, but the only answer is an 8 times upvoted answer on SO telling me to add a hardcoded padding. What.
Where did this whole thing come to..🙁
Back in the days books about c didn't even start with more than 4 lines of code on the 70th page.
And when you google things about it it feels like you doing something totally wrong but its like the first thing a normal dude would do, what if i don't want shit centered bro i feel so useless and dumb i friggin hate that shit just fucking tell me what the fucking fuck to do!😫
It bugs me so hard cus i didn't even know a View is able to stick out on top of the app it doesn't make no sense to me the whole world is breaking apart12 -
Fuck fuck fuck
Linux mint disconuting kde version
18.3 will be last version with official mind kde 😭
I always prefer mint kde rather than kubuntu
In my own experience I always found mint kde more stable than kubuntu
And I loved mint update software
Probably go with the now kde neon or back to elementary !
I used elementary for 2 years or so I installed kde mint last year and that's what I like the most now 😒
Not a gnome fan
Will try arch again 😄
Manjaro kde is good too so.4 -
I woke up pumped as hell this morning, it was gonna be the most productive day in history, I was gonna finish that fucking Rails app I've been dragging on for long enough, maybe even go out and get a girlfriend... Then I went to the kitchen and the fucking espresso it's over... Fuck this shit I'm going back to bed.1
-
What the fucking fuck. Arquillian you piece of shit.
I have a service that needs to go to production soon, it contains Arquillian tests. The tests work locally but not when going through our new Jenkins pipeline. The error message simply says: "Could not start Arquillian container".
Well fuck you too.
After 3 fucking days of rewriting configs, changing up things and I dont know what else I did, I stubled upon the most hidden error message in the history of error messages, a small little line that says "Could not find or load main class ".
Those 2 spaces are intentional btw, because the fucking error was that when starting arquillian and reading the config there was A FUCKING SPACE too much in my JVM arguments. This piece of shit iterpreted it as my FUCKING MAIN CLASS. Whhhhyyyyy, whhhyyyy. Who the fuck... AAAAAAAAAHHH
Btw I snuck myself on devrant a few weeks back and managed to get my 100++ today. Really love this place 😊1 -
Context: ive been porting a single threaded D.A.G scheduler into a lockless multithreaded one. Point is its an objectively complicated project where theres lots of overlap in the code and architectural boundaries are very fuzzy.
My boss: "Can you just make new branches for every 'large' change youve done. Its too hard to merge this one giant branch youve got"
Me: "Fuck bro, but this is 2 months worth of significant refactoring where the commits are not atomic and you told me way back then that it was cool to work in my own repo. Now ive got to go redo half my work"
Boss: "Well yea but isnt it so much better to work with clearly seperated histories"
Me: "yea its great if you tell me thats the workflow you want upfront. This is gonna suck but ill but my balls and dive into this pit of lava if u say." -
Oh my fucking god.
So, basically, I’m at some mall with Violet Parr, but I’m not Dash. I’m someone else entirely, but still a Mr. Incredible’s child. Producers connect to my thoughts and say “Go to the bathroom”. I oblige, go in and see Mr. Incredible naked, absolutely destroying Frozone’s asshole bareback. He doesn’t see me.
Then, I go meta: “Well, producers now probably want me to find another bathroom!”
Mens' one is closed. Ladies one is open though. “Wait, if Mr. Incredible is there, and we’re in The Incredibles universe, we’re probably not in Russia, and no one will bully me, a little trans kid, if I go to the ladies' bathroom”. I go in and lock myself inside a stall.
Music plays. A hellish hybrid of Tessa Violet from “Crush” (https://youtube.com/watch/...) and Orla Gartland (https://youtube.com/watch/...) enters the bathroom. The movie suddenly becomes a musical.
As she approaches my stall, she sings:
🎵 Deep down inside, we’re still transphobic 🎵
🎵 Deep down inside, I’m still transphobic 🎵
🎵 But it’s my way to tell the world 🎵
🎵 To shut 🎵
🎵 The fuck 🎵
🎵 UUUUUp 🎵
She proceeds to demolish and twist the stalls.
Suddenly, we see her flashback (well, technically a flash-forward), and there she gives a Ted talk. But it’s a Klan rally, and it’s Ted x KKK. She says the punchline:
“Well, isn’t it _nuts_ 😏
that I twisted steel beams into a thousand _knots_ 😏👉”
The audience erupts into laughter.
We’re back. I run away from her. Cops arrive, and I’m connected directly to Barely Sociable’s video from the future (relative to my present) about Ruth Price (https://youtube.com/watch/...), the phone call segment. The original audio is replaced by Tessa/Orla’s voice. She calls cops and says “We’re placed into custody for bullying a trans faggot kid!”
The cop replies, mocking her: “That’s baaaad 🤣, that’s probably baaaaaad 🤣”
Off-screen laughter.
Roll credits.
Jack-Jack Parr is trans, confirmed.7 -
I hate this feeling.
Changing stuff with a greamripers scythe around my neck called doubt because the available data isn't too convincing.
Then having to go big or nothing as it is an ecosystem change (e.g. changing the cipher suites of TLS, changing protocol - e.g. HTTP 1.1 to 2) so it needs to be consistent as otherwise fun stuff could happen (fun as in the grim reaper cuts off my neck except a few centimeters and plays "now your head is off, now your head is on" ).
To top it off - just few seconds after the change has happened people coming up in the support channel.
My hands are - mysteriously - not sweaty then. Rather cold.
Lil prayer to the heavens and getting the whiskey bottle...
Opening an ongoing discussion in support channel....
And they're discussing whether the page needs to have an additional arrow for going back to the last page or if the default page navigation is enough.
Constantly using @all so everyone gets pissed off due to being pinged every few seconds in a channel that was meant for emergency support.
Now my hands go from a dark red to a bright red, my nostrils flare out, my adrenaline goes through the roof and I literally wanna murder people....
Those days.
I hate those days.
And I hate the timing of some people...
Like they're deliberately fucking with me without knowing it, like the universe told them explicitly to do so just to fuck with me.
*gooozfraba*
And of course, everything else is fine and running smooth like butter, except that said discussion now goes on in a total flamewar so I get even more pings.
Sucks to be in management.
You have way to many rooms where people can annoy you.
To top it off - after being grumpy and pissed and angry for people just annoying the fuck out of me, I have to mediate.
Yeah. Cause the usual person is on vacancy.
*slowly strangling the whiskey bottle like homer does with bart*
Turns out after 15 mins listening to enraged UX designer vs Frontend Team Lead that UX designer meant a completely different thing - uploaded wrong screenshot, whole discussion was unnecessary.
*Nah. Fuck it. Drinking whiskey*
Reminding everyone what the fucking frigging support channel is meant for and that penis fights aka who got the longest schlong don't belong there....
"Yeah it was a mistake, but it wasn't so bad"
...
You pinged fucking 32 people like it was the end of the world, you ignorant fucktwads.
For over 5 mins.
For fucking frigging nothing except your tiny dicks and shitty egos.
*Second round of whiskey*
Back to work after a wasted half hour.
What says monitoring?
Ah. Everything's working.
At least luck hasn't failed me.
Good server. Brave server.
Then I hear this lil voice in my head: no.
The servers know your personality.
They're afraid. Terrified.
Somehow that thought makes me giggle always...
Childish? Maybe. But it helps on those days.... Funnily enough, remaining 3 hours noone said anything in any chat channel.
"I wonder why, I wonder how...."... *hum* -
A little story which happened my SECOND day on the floor after getting hired to do customer-facing phone support for my current job (can't mention the name, NDA). Customer from Detroit calls in:
Me: "Thank you for calling (company), my name is Guru, how can I assist you?"
C: "Uhhh, yeah. I need to get back into my ID. I can't backup my tablet or phone, and y'all are kinda holding my data host-" <Loud gunshots>
C: "oh! Shit!" <sound of running feet>
Me: "Everything OK sir?"
C: "Fuck! Naw! Hang on!" <more running, jumps a fence, skids to a stop>
C: "Ok, I'm safe, I'm safe... So what I gotta do to get y'all to let me back into my shit?"
*MUTE* Me: "First of all, what the fuck are you doing on the phone with me when you should be either A) calling the cops because, I dunno, just maybe some trouser stain is attempting to kill you, or, B) FIRING BACK, MOTHERFUCKER!!"
*REAL* Me: "OK, first you gotta… (outlines step 1,2,3... etc)
C: "OK, that sounds easy enough. I'll try it when I get to the office, I'm on my way there now- shit. Hold on again..."
(talking to someone on the street): "what, him? That dude? Over there? That dude... In the shirt?What the fuck!? Are you sure? Hold on, sir! I'ma call you back..."
Last thing I hear before the line lets go is a large BOOM!
Sometimes it's best to just sit back and sip your coffee...6 -
Jesus christ I need my VP and CIO to get their hands out of Azure and GCP and just let me work.
Yes, governance and security and IAM are big deals. That's why you have infraops people like me to deal with that.
I'm literally working with one hand tied behind my back because just about every button press or CLI command I need to do my damn job as a professional cloud fluffer requires me to go bother an executive and ask permission to pretty please can I deploy a new container, can you go press the shiny button? No not that one, move your mouse up...up..now UP..ok over lef-no..can I have mouse control? Sigh fine, do you see where it says "Approvers", no that says "Release Pipeline"
Look I actually kinda like this job, I do, in as much as when I have something to do I get left the fuck alone to do it. Meetings are minimal, aside from the odd days when one of our app services decides to yeet itself into the river Styx, there's little distractions.
Yeah, developers do dumb shit but that's probably best left to the notion of job security and never talked about again less they go to HR and complain that the ops guy was very stern and direct and made the developer take some accountability for their work product.
AND YET
It's so intergalactically stupid that I have to go ask permission just to do ops tasks by the same people barging down my goddamn door asking why the ops task isn't done yet.
"Because you won't give me permissions in GCP to actually DO anything".
Okay. Rant over. Time for lunch. Good meeting, see you all at the holiday party.2 -
Okay, THAT was trippy.
Soo.. I slowly srart feeling uncomfortable. It's that feeling when you want to move your body to make it go away. Stretch an arm, move a leg or smth... Alright, no biggie - let's move something. But then my focus is overwhelmed by darkness. Hmm... I must be asleep. There's some soothing humming noise in the background. And that feeling's still there. Aaaahh, the numbness is now going away - I must've moved smth! Good job! Drowning back into sleep now. It's ssooo ssweet...
*outage*
*notions of awareness*
huh? What's that? Oh, right, I need to move again. That humming sound is so relaxing.. I'll move smth to change that status quo. There, much better now. Let's keep the eyes closed and drift back to sleep. It's so dark though...
*outage*
*notions of awareness*
ahh, that feeling again. Come on, I've moved like 4 times already. Well alright, alright, it's better to move that open my eyes or roll over.
Wait...
I can't roll over.
I can't even move my hands. Fuck, must be that sleep paralysis kicking in again. No biggie, it'll wear off if I stay aware long enoug........
*outage*
*...?...*
...nough. What? Did I nod off? That's weird. Meeh, nvm. Why is it so dark though... Okay, let's try to open the eyes. *attempts going on for ~a minute*. No luck. That humming sound, so soothing...
I feel some clothing on my - must be the blanket. So warm.. Nice.I'm feeling - prolly the paralysis is wearing off! Good. A few more minutes and I'll be free to roll over
let's try the eyes once again. Hhhrhrhhh! Nope, not working. Wait, what's that? I turned my body! But somehow...Weirdly. Too easy. There, I did it again! Why is it so easy and I am still feeling paralysed...? Wtf is going on...?
That humming. What IS it..?
Wait! My eyes opened! It's pitch dark in here. Why...? Usually there's at least *some* light in the room. Am I still asleep? Naah, that's not it.. I'm turning my body again. Why did I do that? Wtf is happening?
That humming sound is getting louder and louder, taking all of my attention now.
What is it I'm feeling with my feet? It's hard. And cold.
Wait... AM I STANDING??? What the fuck?!?
Why am i standing??? And that sound - that's... That's... A vent fan in my bathroom!!! Am I standing asleep in my bathroom...? In the middle of the night...? Facing the mirror...? With the lights off....?
WHAT THE FUCK DID JUST HAPPEN?!?!?
HOW THE FUCK DID I GET THERE?!?!?
How long have I been here...?
I HAVE QUESTIONS!!
Fuck it, I'm tired. Time to go to bed. It'll be one mindfuck of a storry tomorrow though...5 -
So get this, I try making an appointment at the bank twice, they don't call me either time so I call them and they say they'll call me back sooo they never call me back. So today I go to the bank office because fuck it right ill just come in then and guess what I'm told? Oh euh you need an appointment to open a business account LIKE FUCK YOU YOU TWAT I TRIED MAKING AN APPOINTMENT FUCKING TWICE2
-
FOR FUCK SAKE Lenovo
bought a Lenovo IdeaPad 700 for my study and added extra ram. the fun began, my battery started jumping from full to empty and now with the extra memory far away back to the factory it is still happening now the store and Lenovo told me to use this piece of shit to go back to factory and see if it still happens.3 -
Dashlane is a fucking mess.
1. This fucker won’t sync.
2. This fucker requires you to pick the american state when you enter addresses so no non-us addresses
3. This fucker uses a really bad vpn company under the hood as “its” vpn
4. This fucker somehow messed up the offline 2fa, the thing that students do successfully in their authenticator apps
I’m gonna go back to noo.js.org, that fucker will sync even without any connection, across infinite number of devices, instantly. Yes it does nothing but passwords, yes you can’t change passwords but at least you’re always synced. And it doesn’t sell your data because it doesn’t even have a server let alone a database.
FUCK YOU DASHLANE4 -
Dear AWS, your Elasticsearch service is a bogus pile of shit-engorged horse fly larvae. Not only do you give no useful visibility into what's happening with the cluster (making diagnosis a sadistic guessing game), you lock down the fucking settings API, making it impossible to debug!! But your excellent support is on it! I wonder if I'll hear back from them this week with another inane suggestion like "increase the node count". Meanwhile the rest of my system is limping along, sometimes getting data where it's supposed to be while I keep fake-smiling and reassuring management and customers that "I'm working on it". If you're going to offer a service either make sure it works or get the fuck out of my way. I'll be moving my cluster back to EC2 and you can go do a back flip off a skyscraper. I need a drink2
-
Fuck people who don't back up their statements with arguments. Fuck smug tunnel-visioned cocksuckers who think that any technology or language not used or liked by themselves cannot be put to good use. Like I need your fuckface stamp of approval to use whatever I want.
Fuck people who get defensive if you ask them to bring an argument to the table. Instead of putting their singleton of a neuron to work to find ONE reason, they immediately assume the butthurt posture and go all righteous on you saying shit like 'learn to code' or 'this is not the 2000s anymore.'
This is not the youtube comment section, so act accordingly. If you take a shit on something without saying why, prepare for shit coming you way.
Eat shit and die.1 -
Fuck Drupal. Fuck the work environment I have, and fuck CMS in general.
I have a task that consists into removing any @extend from the different SCSS files so the compiled file is lighter than before (so far it went from 10mb to 750kb). Everything went okay but suddenly PHP decides that the fuckton memory it has isn't enough anymore and wants more. And makes VirtualBox freeze. Which makes Windows 8.1 freeze. It's 11:10 AM when I write these lines and I haven't been able to do SHIT since 9 AM.
The lead developer just told me "you touched some PHP code you shouldn't have approached in the first place". DUDE I haven't written anything in PHP IN TWO WEEKS !
Also, why does fucking Kint exists, when Laravel has dd() and Symfony has var_dump, and they work as fine as Kint, but they don't need 580 Tb of RAM to run and load a fucking page?
Having to work with this fuckery of a CMS is something, but having to work with Windows 8.1 makes me feel like working on some cancer with a computer built before the first World War
Now I finally go back to work, that's cool, I only lost 2h30 of my fucking day doing nothing but restarting VirtualBox and my fucking computer. FUCKING YAY.1 -
What is your last WTF moment? I will start, today I was working on some abandoned tasks, finished the first one quickly and unexpectedly. I thought It would take more time though. The second task -the shitty one- finished it too, again quickly and unexpectedly. There was a tiny fix I should make, which shown on the image below, I wanted to change the CSS of this select box and the highlight color when the mouse is over one option, I spent about 2 hours without any luck, this shitty box has no trace in the dom or any CSS attached to it, I was going nuts, why the fuck this has no fucking trace in the HTML. Ok, I can change the select element background but it would be applied to all the box and the highlight color for the option element can't be changed. The WTF moment is that I was testing the website in chrome inspect with mobile devices enabled and thought, holy fucking shit this is not how the select is supposed to be shown on mobile devices, it will fall back to the native mobile system select element. what a fucking shit is this, I was going to go mad for 2 hours about this genie element displayed here.
-
And this ladies and gentlemen, is why we have backups.
In the rather stupid event that you completely fuck something up, you can go back to the way things were.
I accidentally rm -rf 'd the wrong shit.
And then my terminal broke. Couldn't access anything.
Had a small backup of all my files.
Quickly ran a restore while some crucial things files were still alive in RAM.
Timeshift is fucking life saver. -
Im back at University and need to code Java for my Semester Grades. My main languages are PHP and JavaScript.
Reading a book right now where it says "Java Developers are happy".
NOPE aint nobody happy about Java. Sad fucking Author of the Book, go fuck youself and retire. Java needs to retire itself, there are more modern languages available.7 -
Fuck Windows. I just checked settings hoping to see the Creators update but noooo it's been failing to install a minor update for weeks now. And the best part is that the only solution might wind up being a clean reinstall. I need to be sleeping right now but I can't go to school in the morning without my laptop either so I'm fucked. I was already too deep in the recovery process by bedtime to back out. Fuck.1
-
Going back and rewatching Star Wars stuff only to remember and get pissed off once again about the Sequel Trilogy. I can’t believe some people are allowed to make movies, watching a dog poop has more value than the entire story of those three movies, and Disney can go fuck themselves for that.10
-
This is probably the worst place to start my Rant saga but this is recent (this is one of the last few episodes of a 3 series cluster fuck of a job so you're missing out on all the straws that go into breaking the camels back and making him unaccommodating)
TL;DR I do good work, management dont like me and go out their way to try and fuck up my days
So, lets start, I'm a contractor, got funeral Tuesday, book leave, book WFH for day after.
I leave in 3 weeks, woman who is the CIO's right hand bitch takes me into a room the next day or so in the morning to discuss my WFH day. Leave on tuesday is cool but this WFH day...there's only so long until I'm gone so they want me to stay in for more face-to-face time blah blah blah (considering this woman isn't even part of the project I'm working on anymore because she decided to deflect it onto a underqualified junior with no PM experience)
So I sit there, thinking of all the blood and sweat that I have shed, the mountains I've moved just to be told to move the mountain somewhere else and whether coming in would kill me (in other words im fucking burnt out!!! I have built their GDPR database and app backend single-handedly with no requirements, project managers who can't plan and being chastised for asking for documentation/plan/anything written down and having the CIO who is also the fucking DPO ignore any emails/slack I send him relating to the project and having to keep up with a team of devs....).
So because there was a momentary silence, she decided to fill the gap
"Oh, you've done some good work so far and I wouldn't want you to ruin it all in these last 3 weeks. So just come in on the Wednesday so that we can have you here."
Hmm....yeah...i didn't notice what she had ACTUALLY said there, still thinking about can i be fucked? So she decides to add
"...there's only 3 weeks left, wouldn't want you to burn any bridges. Remember, we still have to give you a reference"
....Okay....shots fired. So i respond
"You saying, if I take a WFH day, you'll give me a bad reference?"
"Noooo no no no, not saying that, just that you've done good work and we wouldn't want you to ruin it"
"With one wfh day?"
"We just want you to come in because the developers might be coming here that week"
"Oh... I hear that...what day?"
"I dunno, it's not been booked yet"
".............................I'll think about it"
"There's nothing to consider"
*Start leaving room* "I'll think about it...."
So cool, obviously, had a think, decide to shoot over an email (or more accurately, a collection of bullets). Which basically said, in devRant translation, "Fuck y'all, I'm WFH on that day, I wish a motherfucker would fuck up my reference, we can go that way if you want it. *snaps fingers* I. WISH. YOU. WOULD! "
Woman says "I wasn't threatening you, was just saying...dont ruin your last 3 weeks, wouldn't want you to burn any bridges and that we still have to give you a reference"
What kind of Godfather comment is that?
Come in today, the CIO, who is a prick who don't like me for whatever reason, sends me long email trying to disrespect me and in the midst says "I’m sorry that you have chosen to react like this, I’m sure that [my bitch] was conveying a position that your last three weeks of contract are crucial for a smooth handover. I have made the decision to not require you to work from home on Wednesday. I understand you are on leave on Tuesday and therefore this is now extended to include Wednesday. I look forward to seeing you back in the office on Thursday. I hope this will make the situation better for all parties."
.................................thought you lot needed me in the office to ensure a smooth handover................logic..........people.............where the fuck do you get yours from!?!?!?!? All this just so they can say "We made the decision at the end :cool:" -
Slowly adapting Go to some microservices projects I have. Shit is intuitive as fuck and I believe it has to do with what lil knowledge I had of working with C back in uni and by myself. For the web Go fits quite nicely. Really loving my time working with this language.
Now, if i could somehow throw it into the mix at work and build something with it it would be quite fun.1 -
Android 12, stop telling me every other day which app has permission to access my location in the background. I know, I gave permission, and I want to keep the setting "Allow all the time". Where's the "don't ask again" option?
And why does this happen for an app released by the German federal government (about once a week) but never, ever for your shitty Google Maps that always seems to know where I've been (at least if don't leave my phone at home, which is hard to do in times when you have to show your digital proof of vaccination everywhere yo go). Fucking Android, fuck the Android 12 clunkiness (inspired by Apple's iOS?) and fuck the fucking notifications. This is my phone, I paid for it, I own it, I want to turn off this bullshit. Wait, Google, once I find time to get back to LineageOS/Cyanogenmod you will never see a trace of my digital existence again. Oh, and fuck your "digital wellbeing" as well! At least you let me turn that off. Yes, I know, I am not grateful, but that's what devrant is for, isn't it? Fuck you, Google!2 -
My friend wouldn't believe that I just spent 4h messing around to finally reinstall Arch just because Civilization stopped working.
So civ randomly started not wanting to launch. After trying tons of fixes, disabling runtime libs, changing bunch of env variables for about 2h, I started to get quite annoyed and started uninstalling stuff and reinstalling. Ended up uninstalling too much stuff, so I decided to go back to the base package and reinstall everything.
And STUPID ME decides to remove the laptop from the dock cause why not, and guess what STUPID ME FORGOT THE BATTERY ISN'T INSTALLED AND COMPUTER SHUTS DOWN DURING MKINITCPIO.
Scared, I turn it back on aaaand ...
KERNEL PANIC. FUCK.
Spent 1h trying to solve the problem, then decided fuckit and backep up data and just reinstalled Arch for the last our. I'm happily playing again now 😁 (4h after...) -
This is a fucking nightmare i still dont have internet connection ever since the shitstorm happened because of incompetent FUCKTARDS WHO CANT FIX THE FUCKING INTERNET IN THE WHOLE FUCKING COUNTRY ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING MEEEEEEE
ALMOST 48 HOURS OF NO INTERNET FEELS LIKE I WAS A DRUG ADDICT WHO FORCEFULLY STOPPED DRUGS AND NOW IM HAVING CRISIS AND IM NERVOUS AS FUCK WHAT THE FUCK BRO I CANT EVEN CODE ON LOCALHOST BECAUSE I HAVE NO FUCKING INTERNET YOU FUCKING PIECE OFF SHITTTTT
SERBIA IS THE WORST SHITHOLE TRASHHOLE CUNT HOLE HORSECUM COUNTRY ON THIS FUCKING PLANET EVER
PLEASE NEVER EVEN VISIT SERBIA. ONLY GO TO SERBIA IF YOUR IQ IS BELOW 75 AND YOU DONT WANT TO DO ANYTHING IN LIFE BUT SIT BACK CHILL AND EARN BETWEEN $0 AND $300 PER MONTH18 -
Fucking windows updates...
Went to do a job on a tank in 18 deg F Weather with snow on the ground. One guy brought an ice fishing tent (very nice). This is next to petroleum tank. We got guys on top of tank waiting for me to get data using a Windows 10 lappy.
Lappy comes up and tries to get into bios to do a firmware update. WTF! I reboot and it does it again! Go to look for power adapter as it wont do update without power. Not in bag. It has to have power to do update.
So I drive back to shop (with guys waiting on top of tank) which is 5 miles away. I am pissed. Its snowing and I have to drive slow. I find that adapter. I get back to the tank and plug it in. The AC source (battery based) starts alarming as the lappy takes too much power. Fuck! But somehow it boots Windows without doing firmware update. Fuck you Windows!
I get my job done, but don't fucking trust windows at all. Had this been a field tech he would be pissing his pants. Useless shitty software you have zero control over. Now considering changing their OS to Linux for field work. I am rewriting their software anyway with something can run Windows or Linux.4 -
So... I just got to the next fase where I'm being asked to do a technical test. What they ask is for me to develop an Android App with 4 different tabs:
- First tab I need to receive data from a github url, parse it and show it on a recyclerview, save it on a database, and be able to search it.
- Second tab has to show 50 elements in a recyclerview, with a header that has to fill the entire screen and when the user scrolls down, the image has to fix to the top of the screen, and never go back when you scroll up.
and two more exercises with variations but almost same difficulty.
..... to deliver at 10 a.m at the 26th of October.
......It was 07:00 p.m when I got the email
FUCK MY LIFEundefined i'm so fucked fml always gonna let me down never gonna get this job never gonna run around and change jobs -
I am sitting here fixing some asshole's fuck up (he went and fucked around with the certificates on the Sonic Wall - now DPI SSL doesn't work anymore and people are wondering why things aren't working as they used to).
I have been offered an opportunity to work in a place that is about 1000 miles from where I currently work. The pay is a bit better, and I get benefits (like health, pension, etc - where here I don't get shit).
The issue is that my family and what not are this side. They are begging me not to leave. They don't know that I have been considered for the job.
Not going to lie, the last time I moved away, I nearly died because I have a family to support, and I was porting all my funds back to them (yeah - the one who cheated).
I am anxious as fuck, and today I have an interview.
I don't know if going is the right thing to do. There is so much opportunity, and I might stuggle for about a year - but is the struggle worth it.
I cannot take it where I am now. They appointed a new guy, and he is monumentally fucking everything up. He also doesn't shut up. Even if you ignore him, or tell him that you are busy - he just goes on and on talking. Fuck my life.
Anyways, will see how things go - I don't know what is right - perhaps it will come to me.
I'll let you guys know what happens, not that anyone might directly care - which is fine.
Time to go fix CA, and then code until I die.1 -
Why is it that every time I want to make some dead simple script with Python it turns into the utmost awful programming experience?
Ah no you see you have to install this dependency but even if pip doesn't give you an error your script will still crash on import and vomit up some ugly back trace that doesn't tell you anything.
And then some retarded sub sub dependency wants to run on Python 2 and that has its entire own shithole of dependency hell.
And then for some unknown reason the Python installation wasn't compiled with zlib and some library wants it so you either you compile the entire thing yourself or idk go fuck yourself?
Why is this hot mess of a language still in use? I dont get it, it's easier to set up a cmake project with C++ for gods sake.4 -
Took my first PTO today since joining the new company to get my wisdom teeth extracted. Already took care of that first thing this morning. Now I actually get to kick back and listen to some records until my new GPU is delivered, and then I get to fuck off the rest of the weekend with new games because my wife says I can't do any yard work this weekend.
Only had the top two extracted because I was born without the bottoms I guess. But less pain on my wallet and my jaw, I'll happily trade in the narcotics they gave me and stick to my scotch.
Not a bad 3 day weekend in my book. Ill have to go back and figure out who/what broke the projection runner in the sandbox environment when I go back, but eh. that's a Monday problem now. 😎4 -
So I sign up for this fancy pants website were developers rant about shit. They ask me bunch of data mining personal questions upfront like a marketing bitch so I go through and fill out my profile. Ok it's a social site, whatever and nobody gives a fuck about me anyway. I hit save, continue and go to click the email that injects my lies into their database. But I figure I might go back and fix some of the lies I wrote about myself just in case Google craws it and somebody I meet in the future calls me liar. So I spend 10 minutes trying to navigate the whole website to find a way to get back there to edit the lies or even perhaps find some site help relating to profiles. Of course the profile page itself does not do this profile edit stuff and bugger me if there is no help at all on how to use this website. So I did the only thing I could and wrote this rant in the hope somebody knows how the fuck I cover my tracks on devrant.com4
-
I can't find a remote development job and here's Microsoft built a AI that can code. Well fuck you Microsoft, fix your fucken browsers. oh wait...Your AI again suck.
I think it's best I go back to the farm.1 -
Why the fuck does my swipe back action gives a ++ on some posts?
Trying to undo it is impossible. The post will go from 15 to 16 and when I vote down, it goes to 14!!!!!3 -
So I tried to fix an app today that we made for a client ...
It's a Cordova project that's basically jus a wrapper for a certain section of the client's website that's displayed inside an iframe inside said app (with a bit of additional CSS and such). It's all working fine.
Said section of the website offers two to four different options to choose from, then scrolls down (triggered by JavaScript, window.scrollTop or JQuery's equivalent) to the next selection panel that's dynamically added to the DOM tree, the content's depending on what the user selected before.
The problem is, said scrolling effect inside said iframe does not work inside the iOS version of the app (does, however, when the content of the iframe is viewed (by just visiting the URL) inside Safari), instead, the iframe just scrolls back to top.
So after five and a half hours of depression, anger and rage, also some repetetive cursing towards Apple (just like every time something has to do with their awful products), my boss walks in, looks at me and says:
"I'd be fine with it, if I just had to manually scroll instead".
.........
If it wasn't 5pm already (I usually go home at 6), I would've just left the room / gone home or gotten my salad from the fridge to have something to release my anger on.
Seriously though, what the fuck!? -
Am I the only one who hates the current status of Windows 10 where it's slow as fuck on an HDD? And I honestly don't like it's design... Even today I started messing with a Windows 7 PC and loved the OS theme and design again (though the icons may need a change). Well, back to my Elementary OS I go...1
-
*The one where he breaks ssh*
TL;DR: Minikube's dick is too big, and my ass wasnt ready.
So there was a time about 2 weeks ago where i wanted to try and set up a minikube cluster using SOP, and that actually went okay, aside from having to move over to a completely different server after discovering that my processor doesn't support virtualization.
So i set it up on my other server, and everything immediately starts going to shit; i can no longer run commands without processor latency. Also top shows 200% CPU usage. Maybe i should stop... NAHHH... so i continue on, and the biggest fuck up was starting up the nginx pods. I have 6 of them, and the moment i try and stand up my custom container which was the WHOLE POINT of this whole exercise, i lose ssh access and cant get back in. I go over to the server and kill the minikube and virtualbox processes, and everything's back to normal.6 -
Today i got so fucking depressed and discouraged because whenever i tell people "i am a software engineer" or "programmer" especially fking girls they just fuckin leave. They dump you. Imagine seeing someone with both ur eyes, both of ur shits seeing someone go from high interest and then watch their interest drop
D
E
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P
D
O
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I
K
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F
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K
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All the fckin way back to 0 if not even below that.... How the fuck am i fuvjin g supposed to fking feel. What am i supposed to think. This is such a fucking bullshit. I am fking wordless.
Hhhhhhhhh
Each time this shit happens i question myself if i should regret wanting to be a software developer or not7 -
I was in a hurry
this Asian chick grabbed me and not let me pass
I kept slinking out of her grip
she kept grabbing me again
I said "no I'm serious, I gotta go"
I pulled more violently
she fell on the floor
she pulled me down with her
she grabbed my legs
I started kicking her off
a kick to her shoulder dislocated it, but she kept going anyway
I'm trying to get up and kicking
I look back and now even her face is busted
yet she's still going at me, grabbing, pulling
what the fuck?
then the scene changes to a forest
we're in a band and trying to survive out there
by now the jig is up
encounter a person in a clearing, sledgehammer him in the face to disable him so he doesn't notice us
except that didn't do shit. his skull caved in, his bones are broken, but he's moving and moaning to try to get to you. he's not a zombie either. he's alive. looks perfectly alive. but his bones are broken and he's still moving and going. what the fuck do you do?
the bones start moving underneath his skin, he's just reorganizing and reinventing his body live
they're unkillable
the fuck you do now?
I used to have a lot of zombie dreams but what the fuck is this new shit3 -
Whoever worked on the speak-to-chat feature for Sony XM4 headphones deserves to have a bunch of angry orangutans pull on their nipples for 1 minute.
Why the fuck do they get activated out of the blue when I'm simply talking? It feels like I'm under the water.
And the damn feature can't be turned off permanently. You can go into the app to turn it off, but it'll get activated again. You can use the two finger gesture on the sensor to toggle it off but it will still come back. It never stays off.
These are amazing headphones, but this is my biggest pet peeve. Almost ruined them for me.11 -
So I found about a possible freelance job I could do. I messaged the person and they asked me to show them some of my work. I went into my dusty wamp server folder to use one of my projects there as an example or w/e. It being old and all and me having not updated anything in the last 2 years, there was a lot of bugs I had to fix. So I did that. I had to change some links and whatnot. Then I tried running the site again and that was where I met the biggest hurdle. None of the user generated pages worked because I used a .htaccess file to vanity the website links (is that a word? No? Well it is now). So I went back into the folder to check the .htaccess file to see if I could fix the issue. Lo and behold the file was empty
I had lost the fucking .htaccess. Now I'm stuck and saying fuck it because I can't be arsed to go through each file and change the links mostly bc I forgot the structure of the links ontop of the other stuff I had in the htaccess file. And yeah ik I'm just being lazy but I'm really just having one of those days
So yeah that's how my day went. Just thought I'd share -
My final exams are going on and I'm cramming textbooks all day. It's currently midnight and I still have another 50 pages of reading to do. Plus revise everything before the exam tomorrow morning. I'm exhausted! And this is going to continue through Christmas and New Years Day! What the fuck is my University thinking!?
Anyway, I have to go back to finishing this chapter. Just came here to let off some steam. Thanks devRant for seeing me through this.2 -
As a Software Engineer
I want agile bros to fucking understand the amount (scope) of work their stupid user stories contain. So that I don't have to rant about it and go back and forth between 10k people to figure out what the fuck they want.4 -
grrrr
last week my laptop died out of nowhere. it stopped recognizing the one drive in it. I lost a bunch of files, code. evidently ssds fail out of nowhere unlike hdds which slow down and error all the time before ultimate failure
my warranty for this 4k$ laptop expires in 12 months and this was month 13. nice. I don't like warranties anyway, and the site said they would replace things with "comparable hardware, sometimes refurbished" wtf no thanks
so I found some guides of people upgrading the drive in this laptop. seemed easy enough, unlike older laptops from back when I was in school where you had to take out 12 things first to get to anything
unfortunately I needed a specific screwdriver. I walked several miles to the nearby hardware store thinking they would have said screwdriver. the old guy in the basement said there was a kit where it started from t4 (I needed t5), but he had just sold out his last one. I checked their online store with a friend for a while on my way back home and we kept finding torx screws but the wrong sizes. fuck.
he said screwdrivers this small are only used for electronics, asked if there's any other hardware stores and there aren't near me
however it occurred to me this strip mall has a lot of suspicious computer stores on it. so I walked back up the street looking for one.
found one with a suspicious poster, saying it was an internet cafe but the last point on their poster said they do repairs. walked in. nobody is in there, suspiciously 2 desks with old computers all empty, then you go forward in this dark cave, with plastic wrapped implements on the walls, you finally find a glass shield and behind it was a meek Asian man that took me a moment to notice
I asked him if he had t5
he handed me a plastic baggy full of tiny screwdrivers, for me to take one
I asked if they're t5
the shape looked right, but I can't tell the size
I took one out and tried to find size marking, but nothing
he didn't seem to know what I was asking when I asked about its size
he said if it's wrong I can come back and trade what I took for another. lol
I asked him if I can buy it, since that wasn't evident to me due to how sus this random bag of screws is being thwarted on me lmao
he said 5$ cash
I gave him a fiver
this sus shop literally avoiding taxes lmao
walked back home, ate food cuz starving, tried the screw and FUCK, it's too big. put laptop in a bag and hauled ass fast, checked on maps the store I got this from closes in a few minutes so I really wanted to make it there because what if the receptionist changes and they don't know I took this screw. I got no receipt
got there right before closing, put my laptop down, said it was too big. he used a few screws until he found one that fit, said I could try it and I did (so scam aware!). bingo bango. now I got a screwdriver that fits the laptop.
walked home, sat down and took apart the laptop. been a few years since I did so. the hardware inside looks entirely unrecognizable to me. started cycling through YouTube videos of laptops of the same name as mine, but their insides don't look like mine. is this ram? is this the NVMe? what the fuck is anything?
finally found a video guide where the guy was quite informative. not the same laptop but he's informative enough I figure it out. ram and drives are so different and weird now. took parts out, put them back in, rebuilt laptop, tried to boot, same problem. jiggling parts like this works with desktops often, guess not with a failed NVMe
so I'm screwed. get on Newegg and bought a new NVMe. should arrive in 3 days via Purolator
yesterday was day 3. it was at a sort facility near me, then out on delivery, but nobody ever came. then it went back to sorting. now it's out on delivery again. I'm sitting here thinking that's a little weird, wasn't Purolator the delivery company that had me go 2 hours outside of town to pick up a 15lb desktop case once?
... and then I looked up Reddit comments... then reviews on the purolator facility it's at... I am screwed. last time iirc they were out for delivery for 3 days, never tried delivery, then on the last day at the end of day they stated they attempted delivery but no go. that was bullshit. then it ended up at that facility. which takes 2 hours to fucking reach.
the reviews are so bad... the facility has 1.2 star reviews with thousands of them. they won't leave even a stub, then seem to not know where your package is at the facility, or they deny you have the right to pick it up despite ample IDs, or someone ELSE picks it up and it's not there. they also ship your package back after 5 days, so if they don't leave a note and you miss it tough luck...
fucking hell
also rumours that they just hire "contractors" in normal cars to drop off packages? wat? lol
AND EVERY REVIEW HAS A BOT COMMENT. THEIR SUPPORT IS JUST A CHATBOT
I thought this was just a small hiccup
I think I might not have a drive for weeks now
fucking hell
now I'm sitting on my porch2 -
A week of vacation has begun, and every time it feels like I'm joining the Nights' Watch:
"Night gathers, and now my watch begins.... the watch to see how long it is before I actually WANT to go back to work. Tuesday? Wednesday? How long IS my Netflix queue anyway? Ugh, can't go anywhere, COVID done fucked that all up, so me and the couch are on a first-name basis again. Shit, should I check email, like, just quick, so I don't have thousands to go through next Monday? Oh, maybe I should spend some time prototyping that new screen... no, gotta keep from thinking about work! Oh, there's a big list of home repairs I need to do, now I have time... no, fuck that, that shit sucks. Hmm, maybe I should start that game project I was excited about a week ago? Nah, I'm not really excited by it now, never mind. I guess I could play some Halo again... no, that's boring. I wonder if my team managed to do the deployment today, and how those tickets I Ieft them are coming... ah shit, I want to go back to work ALREADY!"
That's how George R.R. Martin wrote it, right?? -
<rant>
FFS
Windows is the worst garbage ever...
First I get a virus becouse the antivirus didn't fucking work, then I try and do a system reset WICH FAILS, them u have to get into the uefi and do a system reset back to Windows 8, Windows 8..
So I go to the windows insider program and download the media creator thing and
.
.
IT DOESN'T WORK
It just stops at "searching for updates"and now I'm stuck with Windows 8
I can't even get the Nvidia drivers so i can't play games anymore
A big fuck you to Microsoft and merry Christmas
Btw any fixes? Thank you
</rant>9 -
Currently debugging a project that was written over 4 years ago...
At first all was well in the world, besides the ever present issue off our goddamn legacy framework. This framework was written 7 years ago on top of an existing open source one, because the existing one was 'lacking some features' & 'did not feel right'.
Now those might be perfectly fine reasons to write a layer on top of a framework, but please, for all future devs sanities, write fucking documentation and maintain it if you're going to use said framework in all major projects!!
Anyhow back to the situation at hand, I'm getting familiar with the project, sighing at the use of our stupid legacy framework, attempting to recreate the reported bugs...
Turns out I can't, well I get other bugs & errors, but not the reported ones. I go to the production server, where I suddenly do can reproduce them...
Already thinking, fuck my life, and scared for the results... I try a 'git status' on the production server....
And yep, there it is, lo and behold, fucking changes on production, that are not in git, fuck you previous dev who worked on this and your stupid lazy ass modifcations on production!
Bleh, already feeling royally pissed, there's only 1 thing I can do, push changes back to git in a seperate branch, and pray I can merge them back in master on my dev environment without to much issues...
Only I first have to get our sysadmi. to allow pushing from a production server back to our git server...
Sigh, going to put on my headphones, retreat to my me space and try to sort out this shitpile now... -
I had to contact technical support for an API. I’m pretty sure I was emailing with a bot because I was getting all sorts of stupid replies.
Me: I’m using your SDK for language X. It’s returned null for some properties. In the user portal, I can see there are values for those properties for the transaction. I don’t know why I’m not receiving them on my end.
Tech Support: Hi! I see the following was sent in the API response. [Sends api response to me.] You can also go the the portal to see those values.
Me: Yeah, I know. You just repeated everything I wrote to you. I don’t want to go to the portal. I told you I want to figure out why your SDK doesn’t seem to map those properties correctly when I receive the api response.
TS: Let me look at the docs. I think you need to send the properties you want in your request in order to get them back in the reply from the api. Such as <property>value<property> in the xml message.
🤨 The docs do not say that. They don’t even imply that.
Me: What the fuck?! That makes absolutely no sense. We have already established that the api **is** returning values for those properties. I want to troubleshoot why your SDK is mapping them as NULL. -
Okay, so not eating has become a major problem now. This morning when i got out of bed and stood up, i fell backwards in to my bed again. I couldn't see anything, all black. A few minutes went past and i got back on my feet, got dressed and headed to school.
The thing is, a day can go past and i won't feel hungry at all. But i have to eat, but i don't.
Am i the only one with this problem?
Another thing that is happening is that when i get home from school i sit down in front of my computer and start to write some code, hours fly by and there goes that day, no homework done either.
No food, no homework. Only coding. I think i have a serious problem 😂.
On a side note, a few days ago i tasted coffee for the first time, and now i can't resist buying a cappuccino/latte when i walk past espresso house in the morning.
Here's a interesting question, why the fuck did you waste your time reading this? 😂1 -
Worked as android dev for 2.5 year and then worked as java gameserver dev for 2 years.
Now I wanna go back to android dev so I spent the last month grinding kotlin/android basics and already have 2 interviews lined up this week. Applying for junior dev role because of my gap and because my confidence in my android ability currently is really low. Having ADD doesnt help because I suck in memorizing implementations, syntax and I suck at live coding under pressure.
Fuck it I will set their expectations low, will get lower salary and hopefully will impress the hell out of them during first few months. Wel see what happens...
Any tips/advices?4 -
!dev
For fuck sake I hate this day already and its only 10am. I had to go to an exam. I live 200km away from my uni (only have a few classes, so collage is not worth it). I woke up at 4.30 to arrive in time. My car was wrecked 2 weeks ago so I've asked for my mother's car and guess what?... That fucker died on the road. Had to call my dad at 5.50 AM.
I've managed to arrive 7.58 at the classroom, and that retarded dimwit dared to tell me that next time I should hurry (exam started at 8), because they'd already started.
During the exam while I was literally sweating blood that same asshole comes to me that his pocket device detected data traffic coming from where I sit and whether I have a device switched on. It was me though, a devRant notification to be precise. Luckily he just asked me to switch it of, but that 2 minutes of fuckery could cost my pass grade.
Now I am heading back for the broken car to be towed back home. What a wonder-fucking-ful day I have today. And it is still a question, whether I will be able to go to work tomorrow or not. -
Worked on two (small) errors for about half my day. I've had them before but fuck I've never spend more than an hour on one. Decided to stop and go for a walk and game a bit after.
Came back today and instead of opening my code in VS Code I opened it in ST3 and I went through the errors again and I fixed it. I tried doing the same on VS Code but it didn't work just like yesterday.
Now, I've only had posititve experiences with VS Code and I really like, but what the actual fuck. Has anyone experienced this before and are there solutions or ways to prevent this? What is the cause anyway?
Also would appreciate some suggestions for code editors, love ST3 but I wanna try something new (I know, if it ain't broke don't fix it, got me) -
Wtf!? Clowns wants to, again, move me up the ladder. They don’t care. I am starting to think they have an evil plan for me in play here. Step 1) promote so high that noone really knows what the fuck I am doing. I am just name on a paper. And in the meetings. And then, 2) fire my ass
Have not accepted this job position. Yet. But I’ll guess I’ll take it. I can always go back to coding. Haven’t coded for a year now!
I think there must be some sort of evil play here. Am I that incompetent?
Do I want to be Chief Supreme Structural Architect Commander? Wtf!? Clowns…
All bow for the Chief Supreme Structural Architect Commander! I got principles and guidelines! Pff…1 -
If your SPA doesn't work with the browsers navigation buttons . . . go fuck yourself and fix your application.
At work I have to deal with an application that manages work tickets. There's a login page, an overview console and a page for each individual ticket (and a whole bunch of other pages that I'll ignore for this rant.) If I click on a ticket to view it I go to a new page, right?
What happens if I want to go back to the overview? I hit back on my browser. That should take me back!
WRONG
Nope. Because it's a single page application with no fucking routing programmed, the browser still thinks that the login page is the last page so it takes me there instead.
Like come on, good UX/UI design takes advantage of what the user expects and what the user is used to. The user expects the back button to take him back one page, and therefore it is the responsibility of a SPA developer to mimic that capability in his app. I don't know what framework this web page uses (it has none of the recognizable hallmarks of React or Angular) but for gods sake, implement a freaking router.