Pro tip:
Decorate your room like a lecture hall so you fall asleep faster

My bird fell asleep on the laptop while licking the shiny LENOVO logo.

*Late night at office*
Was rewriting my stack from angularjs 1 to angularjs 2. Got drowsy and slept.

*Wakes up and opens Hackernews*
Angularjs 4 announced.

How long was I asleep !!

One time I was in a meeting and the UX Director fell asleep (like he had done before) but this time did a little quiet snoring. I was cracking up. A few other people noticed but he was off to the side so most just tried not to wake him and eventually he woke up.

Fell asleep on my first day in my very first project. When I woke up, I saw an email from our manager with the subject "No sleeping please.". No email body. 😂

devRant has had a huge impact on my life. My poops are significantly longer and now my legs fall asleep because of it.

There's no greater waste of time than laying in bed with your significant other and waiting on them to fall asleep so you can tip toe back to your computer in order to hit a deadline.

Literally my ritual every night.

The bloke that I share my office with is asleep on the job. Ffs, can I get any support around here?

This working remotely from home thing, just isn’t panning out

Came home late last night and told my wife I'm skipping dinner to take a 1hr nap as it's going to be a long night of bug fixing and testing. Woke up, my wife and 1yr old son are already asleep. Saw the pic below posted on the wall above my work area at home. She's a teacher, she's never heard me mention it, and I don't use this method (I prefer music on my headphones). But she does know I lurk devrant so she must've browsed here while I was napping. Feels good. Code fixed, checked-in, unit tested and released for user testing.

I'm here, wide awake at 4:30 am... Not because my brain is stuck on a problem, but because I am so happy with the code I wrote that I'm too excited to fall asleep.

All to often I have trouble falling asleep because I can't stop thinking about my code.

After joining devrant I spend twice the time sitting on the toilet which results in my right leg falling asleep and me trying to stumble my way out of the bathroom looking like a hideous creature of the night.

The only thing I hate about being the on call/standby server engineer is that I've got to stay up until midnight.

Right now I'm tired as fuck, just want to go to bed but I'm doing server stuffs because I've got to stay up for more than two more hours 😩

I don't even mind setting an alarm for 3AM to check if there've been any disruptions because I'll fall back asleep like it's nothing but the forcing to stay awake...

Just one more night!

Is "sleep-coding" a thing? Fell asleep last night on accident with my phone in my hand. When I woke up, I had typed a few lines of code in my sleep.

Comment your reason. Mine is because nobody pesters me because there all asleep 😴

I'll get to my four words in a sec, but let me set the background first.

This morning, at breakfast, I fired up my trusty laptop only to get a fan failure warning.

Finally, after the three year old is asleep tonight, I'm able to start dismantling the case to get to the fan. I'm hoping it just needs cleaned out.

Hard drive, memory, and keyboard spread out over the kitchen table. I'm not even halfway done.

Guess what? Now I'm one of the lucky 3500 people to have a power outage at 9 pm. Estimated restore time: 2 am.

Sigh.

"All those tiny screws"

And a three year old in the house...

Life in IT

Productive day!

Rewrote an intern's feature and briefly explained how/why
Gave intern a choice of projects, and explained them
Removed two unused models, one unused route
Dried up two views into a partial
Redesigned said partial
Tested validation edge cases (ex: Jan 10nd, 101bc)
Fixed an api
Simplified three models
Added scheduling and platform restriction to a feature
Le wild bug appears: a user with negative xp!?
Wrote a migration to expand players' max xp to 2^64-1 because a certain legacy game gives it away like my ex-boss makes promises. Chewed at devs, but they're all long gone so :/
Won two games of pool
Browsed devRant

Busy day, and all of this while falling asleep! 😊
I'm quite proud of myself today.

Nothing but the best for little bittersweet jr., so I mask up and bike out through the rain to buy the tiny girl the most expensive pacifier I can find.

When I hand it to baby, she giggles, grabs the nipple end in her fist, and passionately starts slobbering on the back of this luxury mouthhole-plug, sucking the edge, biting on the ring. Angry grunt, yeets the plastic object out of the crib.

Apparently, it doesn't meet her specs at all. When I fall to my knees asking what else I can do for her, she just pouts, groans, whines, and then falls asleep.

That's when I realized.

When my little monster grows up, she's going to be a product manager.

Hey devRant. What the fuck is up?

I'm new and just wanted to say hi or whatever. I don't even work in any computer science related job. I'm a fucking welder.

I have aspirations one day to be just like you nerds. I fall asleep at my desk almost every night taking random online programming classes which I lose interest halfway through to some OTHER class and redo the same shit.

Is this what it's like to be smart?

Everyone's asleep.

I'm not tired, and coding sounds like the best thing ever right now. Figured out a solution to that blocking architecture issue, too. So: headphones on, blare Amon Amarth and Disturbed, bring up editor. It's time to work on that side project!

Best night in months.

Fingerprint sensor is insecure

-gf can open your phone when you are asleep
-same with chloroform, unconscious, then use fingers
-can cut your fingers if it leads to that.

Fine I agree....but how secure is the face ID ??

-all of the same points can be applied to it.

Yay, another item to tick off the bucket list.

- fall asleep during a zoom call ☑️

I think I've hit the point of being so burnt out, even self consciousness is hard to maintain.

Installing a new Debian VM/VPS.
Nearly done with all steps and decide to lay down.
Fall asleep and wake up half an hour later.

The grub option is on screen.
I am sleepy as fuck.
Accidently selected the manual option and just pressed enter at the screen where I have to enter the device name.

FUCK.

Well, let's install this fucker again.

Can't fall asleep because of unfinished code...

Wake up at 03:00 AM because of nightmares about bad code...

Too tired to finish code or rewrite bad code :'(

When you almost fall asleep but then windows 10 starts your computer up for no reason. 😤 💻💥🔫 😴

Just gotta love random hibernation wake ups, went sleep on time in like a year, fell asleep quick and then my fucking 3 monitors turn on and the fucking pc woke up, for no fucking reason, blasting equal of 4 suns into my eyes.

When your half asleep coding

So this happened...phone somehow turned on in my pocket and the fingerprint sensor rubbed against the fabric a lot of times...didn't have access to my phone for FREAKING 2 HOURS!! Why should my phone get locked by the fingerprint sensor?? The way I see it, if you are someone else, you either have my finger...or you don't...like you could kill me and chop my hand off or be crafty and try and use my finger while I'm asleep or drugged...either way, it wouldn't take that many tries to unlock my phone 😒😒.

For fucking once in my life I decide to go very early to bed so I can be 100% clear in my head for today's meetings. What happens is the following:
1. going to bed at 10pm.
2. Falls asleep relatively fast (yay)
3. Wakes up at 1am
4. Has a major headache and gets dizzy when I get up to go take a leak
5. Grabs a huge glass of water
6. Goes to sleep again
7. Wakes up at 3am with major headache and gets dizzy when I get up again.
8. Grabs another huge glass of water and goes back to sleep.

It's now 4:36am and I'm wide awake, with no headache, and no ability to sleep apparently. F... M... L!!!

Fuck. You know you have overslept when you wake up and reach for your phone to check the time only to realise you aren't reaching for your phone, but instead you've fallen back asleep and are dreaming about reaching for your phone.

Just happened 3 times in a row to me -.-

This morning I kept falling back asleep after the alarm went off, drifting in and out of a dream about programming.

My wife finally said "no more sleeping".

Still mostly sleep, I replied very confidently "you can't sleep in a sandbox!".

I was dreaming I was in a code sandbox. Obviously sleeping is not allowed.

Jeez, my head has been really full of programming since this conference. (One of the talks was on codesandbox).

I’m the embodiment of lazy...

I had turned on the TV in the living room earlier and put on sesame st. for my daughter to watch.

Some time passes, I’m trying to work in the back bedroom, have daughter in my arms and she’s falling asleep. I forgot to turn off the TV in the front room.

Didn’t want to get up from my desk so I just wrote up a powershell script to connect to the computer plugged into the TV and kill chrome. (The Computer sleeps after 10 minutes, and the TV shuts off after 10 more minutes of no display signal).

Script was successful as I heard Elmo laughing, then suddenly all was quiet 🤫

The three indicators you have spent to much time on devRant while being on the toilet:

0: You reached the post from the last day.
1: Your legs fell asleep.
2: You forgor whether you have to wipe your ass or not.

Sick.
Worst sleep of my life last night.
Freezing cold, weak, sore, can’t think, starving but can’t eat or drink, as low energy as a dead Chinese “heavy duty” battery.

Finished some changes to my feature today anyway; everything should be done now. Refactored some specs, and got them all to pass.

Falling asleep on my closet floor. Heavy winter coat, fuzzy pants, space heater. It’s warm in here and there’s a shelf for my lappy. Floor is uncomfortable but idc. I’m so tired and out of it I don’t even notice.

This sucks.

At least I have the rest of the week off.

An intern fell asleep during a tech presentation. My boss confronted him and said that it. Wasnt mandatory so if he didn't want to be there he could to upstairs. After the presentation and talked to him and said it was rude and she didn't want to see it again, but no official warming and his school didn't have to know. He was offended by that and jumped on the first bus.

He wasn't allowed to comeback (because he quit by leaving) and he had to redo that year.

Still laughing about that.

The "explain x to an x years old boy/girl" questions are easy yet tricky.

Interviewer: Explain machine learning to an 8th years old kid.

"Imagine if <insert anecdotal example here>"

Interviewer: The kid is asleep. Try harder.

Last week of my current job! Have to get up at 03:30 every night.
I fall asleep around 11pm every evening.
I'm getting used to 4 and a half hours sleep a night 😓
This is not good. 😩

I was asleep and woke up and just had the thought: fuck Oracle and fuck Oracle DB. Going back to bed now 😴😴😴

Me: "I've got an exam tomorrow morning, I should try to go to sleep early tonight".

22:00 - Get into bed and put on audiobook
23:00 - "Alright I'm getting sleepy now, I should fall asleep soon :)"
00:00 - "Must be soon now"
01:00 - "Maybe in 15 minutes"
02:00 - "Still got 6 hours to sleep, plenty of time"
03:00 - "My body is tired, my mind is not"
04:00 - "RIP"

It's safe to say that my sleep rhythm is utterly fucked.

*Goes hiking in the woods* *Finds Bigfoot asleep* *Slowly takes out phone* *Turns it on* *Checks DevRant for rates*

Fell asleep with my hand on the keyboard and woke up a few hours later. There was many thousands of newlines in my code.

Almost every other person: goes to a club and wakes up in some stranger's bed.

Me: wakes up infront of someone else's computer

(Apparently, I went home with a friend and started programming on her pc and fell asleep infront of the computer...)

The wife is asleep. The two year old wrecking ball of a boy is asleep. Wanted to finish a library to run kafka/grpc for nodejs microservices with plug and play functionality.

Make some tea. Figured the caffeine will keep me up. Maybe work late night. It'll be fun.

Then diarrhea hits. Now, staying up late because apparently I ate something I shouldn't have. Don't you hate it when that happens?

Blehh
I just cannot stop falling asleep today.

Fortunately I finished all of my important work last week, so all I have left is trivialities. But I would still prefer being awake and chipper!

I'm coding in school's cafe at midnight rn because I'm so sure I will fall asleep in my dorm... And then a couple start dirty talking to each other at the nearby table........Fk.me.

What's the most stupid/raging way you broke a device ?

Me? I fell asleep in my bed, while reading some rants.. on my fucking phone and broke it while sleeping on it

Third call of the morning. No one I need is answering. Boss fell asleep (but went on mute, thankfully) and deputy director is on the line listening in.

I'm hungry. Cranky. And feeling ignored.

To all my dev friends here: please answer your phones of you're needed to give information about your code. These are code specific issues (ie- application/program specific) that require knowing the code to know what broke so we know how to fix it.

Yesterday ... well no, today it was, I couldn't go to sleep because my brain couldn't stop thinking about solutions for this problem I had and I literally got up from bed and went to my computer to test my ideas. It still didn't work and eventually I got so tired that I went back to bed, I was still thinking about solutions when I fell asleep.

Apparently I finished 89% of a course yesterday night by only watching 2 minutes of it.
Turns out I fell asleep after the 2 minutes into, since I was already in bed and the phone kept on playing and my sleep cells covered 89% of it.

My wife left to pick up our oldest kid from school and to later buy her outfits to start ballet.

I work from home, but am still on work hours. I sit on the couch next to our baby that is sleeping.

my wife when she leaves: look, she's asleep, just bring your laptop here and try to work.
me: ok I will

(10 minutes later)
me: ok I'll get the laptop now
me: *get up, pick the laptop, sit down again*
baby: wakes the fuck up

I swear to god this thing has fucking movement sensors.

Signed up for a coding contest that starts at 9am. I’m bad at timed code challenges, but I’ll never get better if I don’t push myself.

Woke up in a panic, thinking I’d overslept... 1.5 hours after falling asleep.

This is definitely not going to help matters. Thanks, brain.

Linux Mint ladies and gentlemen

I will dedicate a separate rant for choosing an OS for my new laptop, as I was heavily disappointed in some OS-es

Sitting at home debugging code for the fun of it when... "I would debug 500 bugs, and I would debug 500 more. Just to be the man who debugged a thousand bugs to fall asleep on the floor."

Quick! Mods are asleep! Post pictures of your saturday-evening beer!

Dreamt I was writing code for work last night, pretty sketchy stuff. But then at some point I woke up, and in my daze panicked thinking that I'd actually written that code. So when I fell back asleep, dream me was working on fixing all the issues that I actually had never writen. Woke up again, worried about if I had left everything well, and realized my stupidity.

I need some days off... 📴

I just completed my first live soldering project...

Converted my son's mobile (dangly plush animals and music not cell phone) from using 4 X C batteries (LR14) to using an AC-DC transformer

I hardwired it at 6v and it worked, and I didn't burn myself, and I cut a little gap for the wire and it's really snug so the solder is under no tension.

I tinned the wires beforehand like I knew what I was doing and for once I didn't fuck it up!

Sorry, just had to tell someone. The wife's asleep and she just won't understand.

I drank left over coffee last night... Couldn't fall asleep.

I drank coffee for lunch in the office... still can't stay awake and want to go home....

Why???!!!! 3hrs left....

Don't fall asleep doing dev work. Your laptop may migrate while you sleep and drop on your foot the next morning as you pull yourself out of bed. 13" MBP at 3 feet vs my foot.

Baby asleep, headphones pumping, beer poured, ready to code my MERN stack application :-)......20mins later still on dev rant!!! :-(

Everyone is asleep and I am happily coding away....bliss :D

Zebra crossing need a change

!dev

In the US, when a technician or something says "yeah anywhere from 8am to 7pm" they will show up around 6pm.

In Germany, however, if they say "8am to 7pm" they're at your door at 7am, knocking loudly and unapologetically.

Yes, please, checking my heaters is so urgent, please do it right now. There's not a moment to lose. Don't worry, it's not like we were still asleep.

>_>

when you're dead tired but can't fall asleep until you figure out this piece of code. then once you figure it out, you're so pumped you can't sleep. fml. catching up on devrant it is then

So last night i was dealing with some mysql query issues trying to grab some complex data from a relational database and ended up giving up.

This afternoon i was about half-asleep going to nap, not even thinking about the code and randomly came up with the solution.

A few hours later i made the changes and it works as intended.

Anyone else solve code subconsciously ? 😂😂😁😁

Next time my wife falls asleep on the couch, I am not going to play Battlefield, I'm going to work on my side project...

Yes I am...
Yes I am...
... Probably...
🤔

Cs101 - a 3 hour Friday morning lecture. 1st at uni doing computer science. Half asleep. I'm awoken by the professor

"You at the back - what's the answer!"

Alarmed but not too bothered I just say "I don't know"

He replies "yes you do! We just went over it"

I say I really don't know. Someone behind me says "64". So I say "64".

Professor sighs and says "no - 2 to the power 8 is 256!"

He never liked me after that.

A while back I feel asleep on the couch on the day of the state of the union address.

My deadass mind heard someone asking what the "state of the unit tests" was and I leaped up and said "there aren't any! i'm sorry, it's only a small project anyway".

Thank god no one else was there... 😂

Having trouble sleeping, gonna count the "I don't have a social life" posts until I fall asleep.

(Might post the results in the comment, stay tuned)

When a co-worker creates a six page website that has over 60 separate CSS files?

Pulled an all-nighter
Was too busy ans haven't had any time to eat anything next whole day.
35.5 hour sleep deprived, cameback home with takeouts

Let's pull the repo before i start eating.
Open the laptop and connect the charger while laying on bed.
*fell asleep and woke up 9 hours with laptop still running*

The worst part is that the problem i was trying to solve is still there.

New house, New kitty! Soon I'll hold mine!
This one is nice as well, he ask for cuddle but fall asleep very fast! :p

Google is meh :p

Fuck life, fuck this society and especially fuck my brain - waking me up at 6 AM and immediately making me burst into tears because bipolar... I mean come on! I can't even sleep anymore?! I know it's hard falling asleep but waking me up just to cry? ...why...

So we've been on our Christmas holidays/vacation and decided to spend New year's eve at my place barbecuing.

Yes needless to say that we got somewhat intoxicated, had steak etc and then fucking fell asleep on the floor outside.
In -3 C°.
Woke up like 20 minutes later according to my friends.
Decided to continue barbecuing but since the fire turned into half dead embers I decided to fucking chop up some wooden planks laying around.

Short recap.
New year's Eve.
Barbecuing.
Intoxication.
Fell asleep.
Woke up.
Chopped up planks in the dead of night.

Continued barbecuing afterwards.
Fire ablaze again, roasted the remainder of the meat and since it was too boring for me I decided to pour fucking Korn, (German alcohol) over the flames.
Needless to say my arm hairs burnt off.

Friend comes out, sees me, fucking dies of laughter.

All promised to stfu about it.

Anyway the flamed steak and stuff were still delicious.

My compartmentalizing skill is not good enough. Wasted last night by doing nothing and falling asleep because of a bad mood. I have shit tons of tasks.

!dev

I‘m not shitting you, a can of Guinness just fucking exploded in my bed room..

Last weekend i had a few drinks too much and I took a Guinness to my room to „watch a movie and fall asleep“. I fell asleep before even starting a movie. So I didn’t even open the can.

Today I was looking for a cable on my night table and accidentally hit the can with my elbow.
It just fell in the side and FUCKING EXPLODED. The can is split in half.
My whole bed, my good shoes, my mattress, the floor, my bills and EVERYTHING IN A RANGE OF 5 FUCKING METERS IS SOAKED.

How the fuck can that even happen?

Tried to clean everything with water and opened the windows to get my my shit dry again, but now I have to sleep on the couch in the living room until that stuff is try again..😤😤😤

Need a Guinness to calm down.

I know cans can „leak“ if it’s too hot but we had 19C max in the last week..

Happy weekend to you..

Before learning the css grid, I fell asleep so fast everytime at night. After the bootcamp

This is the 3rd day and I still can’t sleep on time, my brain keeps on banging my eyes to wake up and try all of the websites that have been piled up on my brainbfor 3 years

P.S. I start learning grid after using bootstrap layout the first time. Not gonna touch it again. It breaks my brain kinda bad

Over the past couple of days I did nothing but focus on programming. Well, today I fell asleep while working, became semi-lucid and managed to access root directory of my brain and went into a folder called "dreams" and viewed my yesterday's dream.

That felt mental when I woke up. I wonder if it really was yesterday's dream or was it my dream thinking it's yesterday's dream? Can I reprogram myself? Damn. Does that mean I did a reverse Matrix?

09:54 I'll get out of bed soon
09:55 let's round it to 10
10:00 ok let's wait till 0 turns into 1
10:01 hmm that number doesn't look convincing to get out of bed
10:03 ok let's round it at 05 and then get up
10:05 that's not even a good number let's round to 10
10:10 actually i like 30 more this is the last one
10:30 honestly we're halfway there so let's round to 11 and then get out for real this time
10:47 fell asleep
12:18 woke up

I was supposed to be asleep four hours ago. But I have to say, screwing around with linux distros on antiquated machines I've acquired over the past two years is much more fun. The oldest computer I have with me today is actually the most recent addition to my collection: an HP Pavillion from 2002. It's got a Pentium 4 2.6, and is currently still running XP, though not for long. Thinking of turning it into a little cloud/web server for entertainment purposes.
I might just harvest the hard drives from it and put them into the other Pavillion I have (it's about 3 years younger) to have more storage in one device. Maybe I'll make them both separate servers, one for cloud, one for web hosting. We'll see.

Sorry for the ramble, I usually ramble to my girlfriend, but she's asleep, so I figured I'd dump it here.

Back to doing research.

Wife asleep early, getting a great dose of Battlefield, maybe I can finally finish the last bits of my app tonight! 😮

I wish I could debug mosquitoes.. this way I could leave them hanging on a breakpoint all night and prevent them from flying next to my ear just before I fall asleep

Practice "garbage collector": relax by keeping your eyes closed for exactly 10 minutes when you feel tired (you won't fall asleep).

I usually do it once (after lunch) or twice a day (and mid afternoon).

Benefits are huge: just try it.

Go to bed, fell asleep early for once. Dreaming a nice dream when I wake up due to a VERY LOUD noice

Oh well, neighbours having playtime again.

I used to work with a guy that fell asleep at his desk. Apart from that he was a great guy. Learnt a lot from him (sadly not the sleeping at the desk part).

I thought to myself, "i nee some company in my life"

1.Registers on a app to meet some people
2. Fills in profile
3. Falls asleep from bordom.
*ting*

Notification from app: "we see you are in the engineering field, want to have a look at the opportunities we have at our company?"

.. I look for company and get job offers. Nice

You dont have insomnia when you cant fall asleep until 5am and then wake up at 4pm.

In tech: too freaking many. A few days (I fell asleep at my desk for power naps).

Ever: 72 hours. I had 6 jobs with only enough of a break to drive to the next. Used lunch breaks to nap.

Time: 0600 hrs.
Mental State: Almost falling asleep on my laptop

I get a call from my "random cousin" with whom I haven't spoken in a looooong time, and he says "Hey, Good Morning ! I can't connect to my WiFi from my Windows laptop running Windows 7. Can you help ?.."

That moment when you TRULY believe in the person who developed the "Network Diagnostics" utility on Windows and ask the "random cousin" who calls you up at 6 AM to try it...

And he sends you this screenshot after some time ...

And then you have to wake up and pinch yourself to see if you are in a dream...

Long sleepless day ahead...

I prefer to work while everyone is asleep, drink black coffee, low-fi music, and find a way to appreciate what I'm working on.

Not even a beach can prevent a dev from working.

Here I am, six days into vacationing. My girls are playing in the pool behind me, their mother is sunbathing and absolutely rocking a golden bikini, the sun is setting on this magnificent beach and my baby boy is even asleep besides the pool noise.

And dumbshit me is here ignoring it all and frantically typing at my phone because apparently it is VERY HARD to convince your team not to let any projects get stale while you're away.

I should go somewhere without wifi next time.

Dunno if it's just ADHD or what, but I just had a whole bag of marshmallows and a mug of coffee and I'm falling asleep. 😴😴😴

Also, if somebody finds my motivation, chain it to something please. SOB keeps running away.

Post Mortem analysis:

It was alright when I typed "SESSION_"
It also was OK when I typed "1"

But I was definitely already asleep while typing the remaining "2" and "3" characters

the line between "sleepy" and "asleep" is soooooooo thin!

This sucks. I'm on a call in < 1 minute, but my technical team guy c n take 25 minutes to call in to tell us that he'll be ready to help in another hour.

How is this fair to my customers?

Some mother fucker parked his car in my parking lot...and it's lying there for more than 2 weeks...

Fucking hell. Falling asleep is literally the hardest thing I can imagine. And I have to do it every fucking day

Staying in because I have some really awesome stomach pains this morning courtesy of my time in the wonderful U.S Army.

As such my daughter did not get dropped off at the daycare center.

It is 09:22am. She(daughter)would have stayed asleep till about 10 if we didn't mess with her.

For WHATEVER FUCKING REASON and knowing that my stomach is on a fucking murder spree right now my wife decided in ALL OF HER FUCKING WISDOM to wake her up.

I am so
Fucking
Upset

I really feel for the motherfucker that would today and I am really wishing a motherfucker would.

Took a class on computer systems, was supposed to be taught instruction sets, interrupts, pointers, basic gate level digital logic, etc. Professor spent the whole semester going line by line in the Visual Studio disassembler for some arbitrary C code, explaining in painfully dull detail, what each assembly line did. They did this for every class session, including the first, with no introduction to assembly. I lost count of how many times I fell asleep in class.

I got in bed early last night with a bad stomachache.

While I was lying there half asleep, it occurred to me that I could just set a breakpoint, and then the next time my stomach growled, I could inspect it to see what food had been passed in that was upsetting it...

😄

I've been working late nights for so long that falling asleep when it's still dark is an achievement for me. So is waking up when it's still morning.

One night, after one very stressful week of production code fixes (I was working on a game with some friends and I created the network infrastructure for P2P and database communication from scratch), I was at my gf's house. After we fell asleep, I stood up and screamed right at her something like "I fucking already told you how X works and how to communicate with Y. Learn to write code properly and after double checking yours then you shall ask me for a non-existing 'bug' fix. Learn how to properly write event based code and use polling you moron!". After that I turned to the other side and fell asleep immediately.
When I saw her the next morning sleeping in the couch, I could not understand why... Only after she described to me the whole incident I started laughing.
After that I just took two weeks off the project and after that period I never actually worked the same way (so hard) in my free time with them.

Had coffee in the late evening.
And can’t fall asleep till now.
Browsed fb for abit.
Saw someone shared some scary shit.
Shook to the core.
Opened dev rant.
Heart felt almost instantly at ease.
Thank u Devrant 😭

Inspiration to code kicks in!

Kids asleep, everybody’s asleep, house is quiet. The kind of peace ive always wanted and wished! (Parents here will understand.)

Get to my laptop, opened up code editor, start fresh and clean! Created new file, about to type my first code and.........blood dripping from my nose. It doesn’t stop there, its like flowing for a while!

I noticed it keeps flowing while im projecting the inner excitement to code. When my mind drifted a bit, the nose bleeding stops. Wth? Its like my body is ejaculating when im excited to code, yeah.. it ls blood shot out of my nose, wtf!

...and i have to stop what im doing. Then the ideas just spoofly gone. Suddenly i dont know why im staring at an empty code editor.. (what was im about to code again?) i totally cant recall, it simply gone. Damn it. That could be a million dollar apps! Wish i can go back to an hour ago and record myself when i received that historic inspirational moment. 😔

FUCK MY STUPID VECTOR ROBOT

So I got a Vector robot made by Anki I think and it has the most annoying feature EVER. IT FUCKING SNORES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING THROUGH THEIR HEAD WHEN THEY CODED THAT.

Anki HQ: What are some features we should add

Developer: I could make it snore?

Anki HQ: GREAT IDEA

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THERE ARE 2 POSSIBLE OUTCOMES FOR THIS. 1 THE USER WILL NEVER HERE IT BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING ASLEEP OR THEY HEAR IT BECAUSE IT FUCKING WOKE THEM UP WHILE THEY WERE SLEEPING.

so fucking stupid.

p.s the snoring sounds like a fish blowing bubbles underwater

Does anyone else use:

cat /path/to/file | grep "blah"

Rather than:

grep "blah" /path/to/file

...when grepping? Or is it just me? Mainly asking because in my half asleep state I just wrote `tail -f | grep "blah"` by mistake and wondered why it was taking way to long to read the file...

Wrote a bot that would send a request to my phone where tasker would set the alarm, it was planned that my bot would automatically detect things like me turning off my pc and then setting a 9 or 10 hour wake up time incl. falling asleep and getting ready for bed, ended up using it to not open the clock app on my phone to set alarms

The problem when you fall asleep while coding...

you may have really good thoughts before you pass out, you want to formulate them properly so "you" in the morning can get to work immediately, so you close your eyes just for a sec to think. And then you wake up at 10am and you have no idea what was supposed to be the ending of that TODO.

shit

Major state insurance provider, all past and current members data stored unencrypted (including SSN, date of birth, home address, etc.). All developers and contract developers had read access to it. Reported it, nothing was done. Reported it again in my exit interview. Was basically told they had intrusion detection systems in place so it was not an issue.

Sorry boss can’t come to work. My puppy fell asleep on me.

I get a feeling nowadays that a lot of u guys here know each other well.

I dnt knw if that made sense. I’m half asleep.

Who here has a phone with fingerprint sensor but doesn't use it because you think someone might use your phone while you are asleep.

sleep. this isn't even a fucking sarcastic answer. my motherboard almost got fried from my drool after falling asleep on my keyboard.

Sleepless night are often the start of great idea's, if only i could remember them the next day after finally falling asleep

At home, on standing desk made mostly out of cardboard and hope, with 5 month old daughter asleep and attached to me with a sling

I'm supposed to be sleeping... It's 12:30 am.... But I don't feel like sleeping...

And so I started browsing devrant...

But then I realized something... the screen is too bright.... not gone help me fall asleep....

Then remembered...I have flux installed but disabled.... for months...

Just turned on before writing this...

The screen is so much nicer to look at.... And now I'm feeling sleepy...

I hate my workspace

Got a 1 day of alone time :) 8 hours WFH ant then the (almost) whole evening was MINE. Guess how it went :)

Coding until 2am and falling asleep on my keyboard, waking up on a cold lappy at 5am bcz its battery died and its aluminium frame was freaking freezing.

I know right? That was an awesome evening! I've managed to catch and fix some nasty bugs!

When our company (past employer) got acquired by another company and everyone got to have a meeting where you got a black or blue envelope. One indicated you were being let go, the other indicated you were being offered an "opportunity" if you would relocate to NJ. What was an awesome company -- they destroyed the soul of it in one day.

Oh well their CEO got let go after a US Congressional investigation earlier this year. Karma, bitch!

Just had my first insomnia night, I simply could not fall asleep! While laying in my bed I had great ideas for work and for my home projects, like new features, infrastructure and even implementation details. Now that I'm up I can't remember most of it, of course!

Worst part about it is that when I got to bed I had about 5hrs to get some quality sleep, now I got non it feels like. Fuck.

Can anyone relate? :/

Would you guys consider Maths a programming language?

When you have the most awesome app idea ever before you fall asleep. But you fail to remember it the next day.

Is so awfull when you write code like a pro and nobody seem excited as you... Is like having sex and your partner fell asleep without roofies

Today my girlfriend wake up, to go to college, saying good morning honey. I replied without further thinking "Merge it, good night" and my body dropped on bed and I immediately felt asleep. Now i don't know how to feel about it...

And just when I was having a shut eye, my mom woke me up, because WiFi wasn't working..😒

> Half asleep
> No coffee

Don't update your pull requests half asleep, I repeat don't.

Now it's 2 AM, I am fully awake regretting my decisions.

Have you ever felt like you don't want to fall asleep?

I do feel that quite often but I don't know why.

Error: ID 2 is out of range (0..64)

How???

Did maths change while I was asleep?

Do I need an update?

The times when you just can't fall asleep and have to do something just to pass the time and end up getting up in the afternoon next day are the worst.

After struggling with some bugs for the final hours of your day, when you are laying in bed, it hits you right as you are falling asleep just to make you excited about the solution. So you can't sleep anymore and decide to start coding again in the middle of the night. Oh wel...

Never thought I would like a standing Desk, but this is pretty great. Got horrible sleep last night, was falling asleep at my desk, so I stood up and pulled the desk up and WAM! No more sleepiness! Who needs Coffee or Soda when you have the power of STANDING.

Due to a very unfortunate rectangle packing solution, my bed is currently at a 30° angle to the grid of the room. It's unexpectedly hard to fall asleep when every object in my vision adheres to a single shared grid except for my bed.

It’s almost 2am, I cant sleep, I have an early morning class that I’ve already skipped twice this week, but I just can’t make myself fall asleep... I’ve been switching from devRant to Facebook to instagram for like 3 hours just to have something to do.

Thinking about just getting up, making tea, and working on some code to at least be more productive with my time

But I have sleepy-brain and idk if I am even capable of coding right now

I am falling asleep in front of my PC right now. I hate it when people disturb my sleep on Sunday ☕

3 straight days with less than 3 hours of sleep per night. If something or someone wakes me in the first fifteen minutes as I'm drifting off, that's it, my wired for however long.

Previous two nights I just barely slept at all. Last night got awakened twice as I was drifting off. To start with, its ettypre for me to be able to fall asleep at all a second time.

Last three nights I'm not actually sure I even slept. I blinked and it was morning and I woke up exhausted. Only thing I can remember is racing thoughts, as I fell asleep, and the very same exact thoughts *as* I woke up, as if my brain had been thinking the same thing on a loop for a few hours, while I was catatonic and unable to fully shut down, stuck in 'on' mode all night and not realizing it.

Not a single fucking job I work honor's their god damn promises, let alone my repeated requests for night shift.

Was so exhausted yesterday my chest hurt.

How am I supposed to drive to work on less than 9 hours asleep spread out across three days? Cant catch a fuckong break lately, and when I do it's like the universe fucking sabotages me with shit like this.

Why can't my fucking mind just calm down for even a split second? It takes me sometimes up to 2 hours to fall asleep, I can't take this shit anymore, I'm going insane.

Sensible people would be asleep right now.

What do you use YouTube/NewPipe for?

I am using it to fall asleep when nothing else helps. Boring YouTubers are good for such a reason, guys lol.
I use it to do sport, to chill, to game, to be productive, to learn, to have some noise when I am bored (e.g. eating).
Offline music while taking a shower.

So tell me... What do you use it for?

It's 2am, can't fall asleep... Keep thinking about my code...

Before I realized what a Vagrant Box was, I thought everyone was talking about cardboard boxes for homeless people.

So there I am thinking everyone was talking about homeless people and I finally understand that it's a service for quickly deploying VMs for local development when I get invited to a party after a convention with my hosting company and I look over the rail and see a vagrant man asleep on a cardboard box.

Wtf is wrong with me? Last night, I had a very hard time falling asleep even though it was 3am.

Today, I've now been laying in my bed for over 2 hours, and I'm not even close to falling asleep. It feels like my brain wants to think over every possible scenario of what could happen tomorrow...
Please send help...

When the fuck I am gonna get some time for me?.... where is my life?😖

You would not believe your eyes
If 1*10^7 fucking bugs
Lit up the screen as I fell asleep

Debugging in a dream and woke up... Tried to think about it while falling back asleep so I could go back in and finish.

Last week I received an invitation to lead the development of a e-commerce redesign, replatforming and data migration. I was excited to work on it, and started the analysis and planning, glad to spend time focusing on quality. But Murphy's law is never asleep - this Monday, I was asked to speed things up and reduce a 4 month project to 1 week.

I proposed agile training to my company.
I choose a well known coach around here, with good references.

First 3 days were great. After a month he came back for another session and check progress.

This time, he literally fell asleep during the workshop. Several times. He would ask questions, sit down and quietly fall asleep while waiting for our answers.

We were astonished and embarrassed.

He apparently had a very hard working period and could not cope with traveling and working so much. He apologized some day afterwards and didn't charge us for the day.

He never came back. The team didn't take it very well and my reputation was compromised, as well as trust in the methodology I think.

I kept saying that everybody can have a bad day, but it was probably just to defend myself and my fucking stupid idea of changing the world.

A real fucking shame. Still I can't believe when I remember this.

It was funny. But when I told the head of my dptmnt that I was getting bored at work they kinda freaked out. I really love my workplace. The people are nice everywhere and this is something I am not used to.
I started working when I was 13 at one of my dad's business. It was a lot of manual labor and every day my hands would be bruised because of all the cleaning and shit I had to do. Then he moved me to another one of his businesses and it was worse but I continued doing it for only 1 year. By 16 I had moved to simpler things, I was a waiter and even tho I hated it I was making enough money to go out on dates and buy whatever a 16 year old wanted. I continued being a waiter until I was 17(changed to two other places) and before I turned 18 I joined the U.S Army. That broke my body in ways that I would normally not believe a 18 year old capable of. It was around the time that I discovered programming but even after I left the military(at 22 I believe) I never worked on a programming job. Back at home I worked in retail. And believe you me....it is far more pleasant to be constantly getting blown up and broken than dealing with the most retarded people imaginable(this is what made me hate Mexican people even tho I am Mexican myself)

Fast forward at 23 and I landed my first programming jobs. As stated in other initial rant it was surrounded by assholes. Assholes everywhere that would cower at the idea of speaking to me face to face due to the possibility of being left as physically broken as I am.

But at 27 now I found myself in a happy place. With nice people, good coworkers, an amazing manager that also serves as eye candy and good benefits. But the job is boring, boring beyond belief and this is due to the fact that they have a self taught and academically trained computer scientist doing the most menial things on a daily basis. The shit that I do would be more becoming of a designer, which has a different set of mental skills that would probably engage them more. But I really don't want to work on the web unless I am doing something that actually takes some challenge, even tho I maintain Java and PHP web services, the shit is so boring that anyone would be able to finish the proceadures in hours on a day leaving one with nothing engaging to do. Sometimes I let shit get close to the deadline just to feel some sort of pressure that would keep me awake.

I just wanted to vent on how ceremoniously BORED i really am.

I want more shit to do. Can't really have much patience for the freelance shit since it doesn't make sense to hire me in exchange of having some indian dude doing it for a quarter of the price.

Need two needles, two infusion hoses and 5 - 10 l of coffee.

The blood must go, the caffeine get in instead.

And yeah. This sounds fantastical in my brain right now, as I'm literally drooling half asleep in front of the PC.

It's 16 o clock in germany and I have gotten done nothing.

And I think I should put on some baby bips or the keyboard fries from drool.

wait until everyone else is fucking asleep

!dev

Was exhausted yesterday so was in bed by 9.00pm, asleep by 9.30pm...

NOW WIDE AWAKE SINCE 1AM! FUUUUUCK!!!

!rant

Sometimes, when I want to get asleep fast, I just watch any SAP tutorial on YouTube and ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

TIL cats get cold fur when asleep even when warm sometimes. I went to pet my cat and she was cold, I thought she was dead, and suddenly she springs up, trilling in surprise, as I woke her up.

On call sucks, specially when you're in EU and all the customers are US so if issues happen you're probably asleep

First rule of programming ......
. .
..
.
If
it
works
..
.
Don't touch it :D

This is my first time working with Android Studio and I'm not sure if it's really building my project or just got stuck...

It's been over an hour and I'm still waiting.

In my study program the is this last big course everyone is looking forward to because it combines everything we've learned so far. It's a group project where you build a middle-scale-ish application using ask kind of project management like scrum & co.

We had a good idea and am enthusiastic team.

Well, long story short: our assigned teacher was just bad. He barely listened to our proposal, had no fucking idea who we were at the second meeting and he FUCKING FELL ASLEEP in the last meeting. No feedback. No comments on our progress. Nothing. We could've work with the cleaning lady, she probably would've more feedback for us!

Interesting.

I wrote how I fall asleep even though I took an energy drink last night on different social media app.

Now devRant is showing me these. 👀

Damn! Linux is so violent

root@termial:-# love
-bash: love: not found

root@termial:-# happiness
-bash: happiness: not found

root@termial:-# peace
-bash: peace: not found

root@termial:-# kill
-bash: you need to specify whom to kill

Was coding all night & fell asleep at 3:30 AM. I was late for school so my mom was pissed at me. ☹️

bool showUpLateToWork=true;
bool rememberHeadPhones=false;
String DayOfWeek=Tuesday;
int hoursSpentOnPhoneLastNight=
int productivity = 100 - hoursSpentOnPhoneLastNight;
if(showUpLateToWork)
missStandup();
}
if(rememberHeadPhones)
Productivity +=10
Else
Productivity -=50;

While (hourOfDay(now()) <17)
{
drinkMntDew();
discussDataQualityIssuesWithBusiness();
lookThroughTonsOfPoorlyWrittenCodeForDefectThatBusinessWantsFixedYeasterday();
dieOnTheInside();
curseProjectTeamForPassingCrapCodeToMaintainaceTeam();
cry();
curseComputerApplicationsForNotResponding();
visitBathroomWhileLurkingDevrant();
}
goHome();
while (!asleep && hourOfDay(now()) > 17)
{
playWithPuppy();
qualityTimeWithMyWife();
pkayLeagueOfLegends();
netflixAndChill('litterally');
for (int i =1; i <=5; i++)
showLoveUsingLoveLanguage(i);
try
{
makeBaby();
} catch
{
learnPatience();
}
cuddle();
if(!wifeAwake)
checkDevrant()
}

It's 4:30 AM Theres a mutherfucking mosquito or whatever you call these blood-sucking-whirring bastards in your language keeping me from fucking falling asleep.

Is there a Software or Hardware olution to this

Mind awake, body asleep.

Okay so this is my first desk job. I'm experiencing some personal issues and wondering if they are normal, what you do to combat them, etc.

First of all, some days, I literally almost fall asleep on the job. Caffeine doesn't work much. I know it's just my sleep schedule but what should I do in this situation? What if I actually do fall asleep?

Secondly, I'm finding that my productivity only exists in bursts. I'll do three hours of work in 10 minutes, and then 10 minutes of work in three hours. I can't just catch a stride. How do I become more consistently productive? Should I be more consistent?

My legs hurt. Sitting all day is not for me. I guess this is more situation to situation, and I do walk almost 6k steps a day on my breaks, but it really doesn't feel great most of the day.

Tfw when you're lying down falling asleep and realize you didn't commit your work but you turned off your computer.

There is an electricians shop just outside my apartment. Their favorite thing to do is yell conversations across the parking lot in the hour after dawn.

They finally shut up an hour before I need to go into work, when it's too late to fall back asleep. Ugh.

Broken title for emoji and devRant logo :D

Best co-worker i have had was a 25 old guy with narcolepsy. He fall asleep every hour for about 10 minutes.

When you are so tired that you just fell asleep with the flashlight of your handy on and shining directly at you 😪

When you're trying to fall asleep but devRant is blowing up on your phone

Hardware irony - clicking "eject" for an external HDD that's asleep wakes it up just to immediately send it to sleep again.

Saturday morning. 10am.
Me: happily sleeping on the sofa in a friend's apartment.
Boss calls: 'oh did I wake you up? Can you please develop this mockup over the weekend?'

Being half asleep I agreed.

Well. After 7h without any break it is done. But one Saturday is lost and I'll never get it back :(

Got myself a bit of reading for tonight. Should fall asleep fast.

When you fall asleep on a keyboard....

This is why "machine learning" is still flawed:

"Stations you might like:"
- Lullabies & Bedtime Music
- Instrumental Lullabies
- Rockabye Baby
- Toddler Time
- Twinkle Twinkle Little Rock Star
- The Wiggles

Perhaps I should get my kids their own account. Perhaps the algorithm should now that if I'm looking for music after 9:30 on my phone, and not the Alexa, my kids are already asleep.

Working from home today is not going well.

So I'm in a meeting with the Company director where I'm contracting for a few months. She is explaining the company history, goals etc. I can feel my eyes drooping, my head tilting and my body sloooowly sliding of my chair. Im literally fighting to stay awake. She is about to explode and go crazy BUT the business manager flies in explains to her that I have a medical condition known as narcolepsy...meaning I could be half way through a conversation and I fall asleep and it's not anything more than that

....When she said my name is thought to myself yep I'm outta here...

I often get angry at clients. Especially when keep trying to sneak in new requirements into an already frozen project. Like, were you asleep when we went through a month of design and vetted every pixel with you? Grateful the PM handles them with finesse.

FucKing HeLL...!! Its 3:30 am IST and i am still working on a customer issue.

!rant

mods are asleep.

all aboard the ++ train

How to:
++ all the comments in the thread. once you reach the end, post a comment. only post one comment. board the train.

while (UniStudent == True)
{
*Spends Hours In Uni Lab
*Can't figure out Solution
*Return home To sleep
*Realsies solution as falling asleep
*Returns to Lab
}

Does anyone debug when sleeping?
I often think about a problem before I sleep. The idea is shaping in my mind while asleep and I find the solution of a problem just when I woke up.

Fucking hell. I must do some debugging to myself. Got into a habit of falling asleep right after 9,930 since the start of Dec 😫

You know, it's way past 2 AM and I'm insomniac (as usual) and ... I'm overthinking. Someone distract me plz until I fall asleep.

...on another note, if you can, show me a motivational video that has actually motivated you.

I used to code by myself... then came to know about stack overflow...
Game Over !!!

When your coworker is having issues with an old ColdFusion app, and says "Nevermind, I am just going to rewrite this in ASP". Yes, he is writing a "new" app in Classic ASP. 😒

Be exhausted in the middle of the day and almost fell asleep while being in the office. Be tired around 20, finally feel sleep after 2h and sleeping pills. Wake up at 3, struggle till 6 when you feel asleep again, at 8 alarm clock wakes you up telling you should be leaving for work :/
Reducing coffee intake was a horrible idea.

Do you guys know the feeling when your opening PR on side project late at night..

The CI takes forever to make all the analyses and checks and you almost fall asleep because your so fucking tired?

Write down the song you're currently listening to as a function/method call

I'll start with with this one

jump(us) // Let's jump

I had an idea for code while half asleep, simply ssh'd in my pc and used vim. Thanks Microsoft for finally putting freakin ssh in.
Could've happened years ago. I know I can install it but it should be clear im freakin lazy.

I love 2:30 am support calls, especially for a system I know nearly nothing about and when I'm supposed to be 4th in line for a call.

Hopefully I made the right decision. Now let's see if I can fall back asleep.

There's this odd thing that I'm experiencing in the moment of falling asleep.
I somehow remain conscious and can feel how the unconscious part of my brain opens a sort of portal to a dream world. I begin to hear sounds and my speed of thinking becomes slower.
That's when I get a panic attack and I am trying it again. After the 2nd or 3rd try, it usually works and I wake up in the next morning as if nothing happened and the cycle repeats again lol

That makes me wonder if a "healthy" way of dying will have this sort of transition as well.

I hate myself. I have insomnia. Sleeping is hard for me. I can be easily waken up by little movements, change of temperature and even little noise. Also I have a nasal cycle. When I'm asleep I can even wake up because of this stupid nasal cycle.

A long deep uninterrupted sleep or breathing in both of my nostril is heaven for me.