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Search - "why is not working"
-
My Friend: Dude our Linux Server is not working anymore!
Me: What? What did you do?
My friend: Nothing I swear!
Me: But you were last on it?
My friend: Yes. I just wanted to run a bash file and needed to give it permissions.
Me : WHAT DID YOU ENTER???!
My Friend: Chill man, just this command I found on the internet
chmod -R 600 /
chown -R root:root /
Me: WHY ARE YOU EVEN IN ROOT AND GOD DAMMIT WHY ARE YOU EVEN USING SOME RANDOM COMMAND FROM THE INTERNET. YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD NOT DO THIS OR JUST ASK!
My friend: Ok I did something wrong, how can I fix it?
Me: Did you make a backup or rsync of the server?
My friend: No. I just wanted to run this file.
Me: You holocausted the server. FUCK MY LIFE35 -
So... A random morning moment:
(c - Cient, m - me)
C: Help!!! Our users are complaining that our website is not working as intended!!! This is crucial!!!!
M: What's the problem? What is not working?
C: EVERYTHING!!!! FIX IT!!!!
M: Could you be more specific...?
C: Look at the bugsnag - it has all the errrors!!!
M: *looks there - no errors* - But... It has no errors...
C: Okay, so client told me he's using Galaxy SII - does that ring a bell?
M: *thinks that I'm fucked* - Asks, which browser?
C: Why do you need it? It's a browser after all...
M: Yeah but not all browsers are the same and I need type and version to investigate...
C: It's Samsung default browser... Last updated 2012 January.
M: Well, tell that user to update the browser, the site is working fine on newer versions...
C: No, you update it.
M: Browser?!
C: Yes, what else?!
M: Of course, I'll fly 3000 kilometres to press UPDATE button on clients phone...
C: Well, he's not doing it himself - he's afraid!
M: Well, that is his problem. Site is working fine for other users with newer browsers.
C: But... He's a client
M: I get it but he's a client that uses 6 years old browser and tries to visit our website. Don't you remember that we ditched IE support on your behalf for the same reason?!
C: Oh... I see... Can you make something that it works with 2005 browsers?
M: Of course... *evil laugh starts* I'll make the website work on EVERY single device EVER - make it plain text.
C: Are you joking?
M: Are you?
----
And since then, we ditched the actual need for supporting users with old browsers that don't update to modern standards... Feels great!12 -
Morning conversation with wife.
As she puts a stainless steel water bottle on the counter
She: can you make a water bottle for our daughter before school.
Me: I'm not sure, does it have to look like this one, I don't have any training working with metals. But if I have full control over the design. I may be able to come up with something.
She: that not funny, why do you always do that.
Me: do what, that is exactly what you told me to do.
A little later.....
She: I'm running late, can you make sure "everything" up stairs is unplugged..... (She means her curling iron)
I can't wait until she comes home.........;-)21 -
Client: Why is this not working?
Me: Because the feature expect a...
Client: I sure hope you won’t expect your client to want to know all these teach behind this feature, as a client, I just expect it to work.
Me: Ok...
Client: So why isn’t it working now? WHY?
Me: 🤦🏽♂️
Client: I need a response!
Me: It is not working because...
Client: Stop telling me logics!! I just want it to work. Why isn’t it working...
Me: It is not working because I fucked up. It will work after I fix it.
Client: Why isn’t it working though... I don’t understand why...
Me: Just let me fix it and it will work...
Client: Why can’t you tell me why... it’s not good communication... (hangs up)12 -
Manager: Why aren’t you working?
Dev: I am, I’m just not typing because I’m thinking an issue out.
Manager: Well what is taking so long? You haven’t written any code for like 15 minutes, you’ve just been doodling on your notepad.
Dev: I’m not “doodling”. I’m taking notes and trying to visualize the issue. It’s a complicated issue with application stat—
Manager: Well just simplify it then
Dev: ?
Manager: Instead of making it a complicated issue just simplify it and then it won’t take you so long. You’re likely overthinking it, I never spend more than 30 seconds thinking about any issue before coming up with a solution. That’s what makes me so effective at my job is my ability to be lean like that.
Dev: …this issue is a bit harder than deciding what to have for lunch26 -
So I have been temporarily assigned to new team .. moving from mainly backend.. to help the Web team ..
Me .: Aight guys .. what we working with ?
Team: MVC .net
Me: awesome ..
Team: but we have our own version of MVC .
Me : 🤔 your own MVC ?
Team: yeh we only buse controllers.. but no models at all ?
Me.: 😲 So where does the view gets its data from ?
Team : from Azure functions apps.
M: how ?
T: ( in very proud tone ) .. we use js to call all functions.
M: so why not just use HTML pages . Why MVC then !
T: coz MVC is modern architecture design.
M: but you not using it and all of calles to the functions are exposed publicly.
T: 🧐 THIS IS MODERN DESIGN !!
M: 🤪 My bad .. what the hell do I know ! I only been developing MVC applications for 7 years !!
Please tell me more about your " Modern Design "
🤮🤮🤮25 -
Last week:
Client: Hey sometimes when I sent about 20 messages to your app they need a long time to arrive. Why is your app so slow?
Me: We are using Google Cloud Messaging to deliver messages. There is no guarantee when messages arrive.
Client: So such a big company is the fault? And not you? Pls make it faster. Make it always act the same.
Working as a programmer is pain in the ass because the people with the money don't know a shit about anything.
I changed just a fucking useless string.. I deployed the "new version" and I told him I boosted everything.
Today he spoked with my buddy about another thing and he told him by the way the app is now much faster.
..placebo update2 -
- Boss: Why are you laughing so much secretly, this is not professional
- Me: Oh sorry, I am listening to the radio while I am working
Truth: I am reading wk101 rants, I can't bear2 -
A wild Darwin Award nominee appears.
Background: Admins report that a legacy nightly update process isn't working. Ticket actually states problem is obviously in "the codes."
Scene: Meeting with about 20 people to triage the issue (blamestorming)
"Senior" Admin: "update process not working, the file is not present"
Moi: "which file?"
SAdmin: "file that is in ticket, EPN-1003"
Moi: "..." *grumbles, plans murder, opens ticket*
...
Moi: "The config dotfile is missing?"
SAdmin: "Yes, file no there. Can you fix?"
Moi: "Engineers don't have access to the production system. Please share your screen"
SAdmin: "ok"
*time passes, screen appears*
Moi: "ls the configuration dir"
SAdmin: *fails in bash* > ls
*computer prints*
> ls
_.legacyjobrc
Moi: *sees issues, blood pressure rises* "Please run list all long"
SAdmin: *fails in bash, again* > ls ?
Moi: *shakes* "ls -la"
SAdmin: *shonorable mention* > ls -la
*computer prints*
> ls -la
total 1300
drwxrwxrwx- 18 SAdmin {Today} -- _.legacyjobrc
Moi: "Why did you rename the config file?"
SAdmin: "Nothing changed"
Moi: "... are you sure?"
SAdmin: "No, changed nothing."
Moi: "Is the job running as your account for some reason?"
SAdmin: "No, job is root"
Moi: *shares screenshot of previous ls* This suggests your account was likely used to rename the dotfile, did you share your account with anyone?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because could not see"
Moi: *heavy seething* so, just to make sure I understand, you renamed a dotfile because you couldn't see it in the terminal with ls?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because it was not visible, now is visible"
Moi: "and then you filed a ticket because the application stopped working after you renamed the configuration file? You didn't think there might be a correlation between those two things?"
SAdmin: "yes, it no work"
Interjecting Director: "How did no one catch this? Why were there no checks, and why is there no user interface to configure this application? When I was writing applications I cared about quality"
Moi: *heavy seething*
IDjit: "Well? Anyone? How are we going to fix this"
Moi: "The administrative team will need to rename the file back to its original name"
IDjit: "can't the engineering team do this?!"
Moi: "We could, but it's corporate policy that we have no access to those environments"
IDjit: "Ok, what caused this issue in the first place? How did it get this way?!"
TFW you think you've hit the bottom of idiocy barrel, and the director says, "hold my mango lassi."27 -
Since I already got all the stuff working for the devrant client on Arduino, why not port it in other platforms ?
So here it is DevRant 3DS client18 -
Not a specifically dev related story, but absolutely rant worthy.
Today I was working from home, and my wife called me to tell me that some awful person had thrown a young cat into the dumpster at her work.
To that person - you are a scumbag. You’re lucky no one left you alone in a hot car as a kid, let alone a dumpster. Seriously, why? Why is it so hard to take it to a shelter?
Anyway - I went and bought a whole bunch of cat stuff - I grew up with cats but I’ve never had one on my own. We’re at the vet now. I think we’ll name her Curry (after Haskell Curry, and lovely spicy dishes).22 -
Tech support to my friend:
Friend: Root my phone!
Me: why
Friend: play store is not working
Me: why do u want to root for that?
Friend: is there any other option?
Me: give me ur phone
After 20 sec ...
Me: Sign in to ur Google account 😐😐3 -
WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO FUCKING HARD FOR THESE CUM SUCKERS TO UNDERSTAND THAT CHANGING REQUIREMENTS 2 DAYS BEFORE THE DEADLINE IS JUST GONNA BREAK EVERYTHING!?!?
I DOUBLE DARE ANYONE TO TELL ME ITS NOT WORKING TOMORROW...
STUPID MOTHER FUCKER PMS CANT PLAN ANYTHING6 -
Manager: Why did you clear the data from the database? The client is now specifically requesting it and we don’t have it anymore!
Dev: You told me to.
Manager: Well why did you listen? It’s obvious now that that data was very important and should have been kept!
Dev: Last time you told me to do something that wasn’t a good idea I tried to explain why and told me not to question you ever again and that doing so was “disrespectful” and then threatened to have me fired. So now I just go along with what you say and let you suffer the consequences of not listening.
Manager: Well don’t do that then! It’s obviously not working very well! It’s ok to disagree with me you just have to make sure that what you think is something I agree with!
Dev: …11 -
Just a personal thing (and no clue why) but I can't fucking stand it when people say www. in front of their domains.
Working as a Linux + support engineer, I get quite some calls where people have to give me the domain they're calling about.
"what's the domain if I may ask?"
"oh that's www.theirdomain.com!"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE JUST SAY THE DOMAIN, WWW. IS *NOT* PART OF IT, IT'S JUST A FUCKING SUBDOMAIN 😤18 -
Working with a radio chip we selected because it had built-in encryption. Cannot make the encryption work, thus in contact with the manufacturer:
"- I cannot make the encryption work, it's like the chip doesn't want to take a key.
- which key do you use?
- does it matter?
- well yes, you can't just use any key!
- why not?
- you need to get an approved key from us.
- why is that?
- so that your competitors can't read your data!
- ...
- ...
- so the way to get working keys is to get them from you?
- of course!
- keys are 256 bits. Can we potentially use all of them?
- OF COURSE NOT!
- how many can we get from you?
- one! We reserve it from your company.
- are you telling me that all units within a company will need to have the exact same encryption key?
- yes!
- so anyone with our product could eavesdrop another same product?
- well yes, but it's all within your own products.
- ...
- ...
- that's not how encryption is supposed to work.
- but it's safe, your competitors cannot eavesdrop!
- I'm out of here."
(We finally found a satisfactory work-around, but i am still pissed at them)9 -
So, I'm programming a control system for a prototype aerospace vehicle. You know, the stuff that needs to work to prevent falling out of the sky.
Anyway, test day was today (was -- not anymore). Wiring all the electronics, everything is actuating and works well. Except for one part, a little thruster for stability.
I spent hours - literally, fucking hours - trying to fix the problem. Wrong address? Wrong syntax? I had absolutely no clue what was wrong. Queue the hardware guy, $stupid:
$stupid: "How have you not got it working yet?!"
$me: "I don't know, everything I'm trying isn't working. I've spent hours digging through this code and nothing is fucking working."
$stupid: "Well have you set it up for the new thruster?"
$me: "What...What new thruster?"
$stupid: "Oh, the one we installed this morning, did noone tell you?"
WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS?! COMMUNICATION 101!6 -
Sister comes into my room
"Can you look at moms laptop, it stopped working I'm scared I broke it"
Ask why
"Idk it just stopped working, all I did was install adobe flash player I dont think that could do it could it?"
Top kek
Take a look
"EFI IPV4 0 (error code) failed to boot"
Weird. Enter bios
"Hard drive: [Not detected]"
Well, that's no bueno
Pop open back, hard drive is loose
Pfft, push that fucker back in
Boot -> works
"Mom is going to kill me I broke it im so worried" -> relieved laughter
Adobeflashplayerkilledmyharddrive.jpg
Shook.exe14 -
QA just asked me, why does the website look so ugly and no CSS is working on Internet Explorer
I'm lucky I'm not the web dev lol
*I laughed*
*IE laughed*
*Windows laughed*9 -
When a customer asks you, why your C++-API is not working... He initializes the array at 1, because he "learned Matlab first" and "that's how arrays are supposed to be initialized" 🙄1
-
You know your week starts great, when you receive a call, that the whole shop database of a company is not working anymore.
Turns out MS Fucking SQL decided to drop all tables, just because the harddisk was full.
A SERIOUS FUCK YOU TO MICROSCHROTT!
It's not a lot of fun, when 15 people have to wait for you about 1 hour, until it is restored.
Why does this have to happen on a monday?10 -
The most overused programmer meme:
Fuck why is my shit not working?
Fuck its working.
Seriously guys its not even funny anymore.8 -
- My client on regular day.
U can manage your tasks by your own. App looks stable and you are doing well.
- Same client when I'm on Vacation
This thing is not working, that thing is not working. This is do or die situation for us. you have to cancel your vacation plans.
- Same client after I come back from vacation in which I wasted precious hours of my vacation time and fixed all the bugs.
I didn't release your changes yet coz I wanted to release it together with you. I was like "THEN WHY THE FUCK YOU RUINED MY VACATION" -_-4 -
When given a task, don't start working immediately. Think about it first.
If it is taking too long, don't just persevere, stop and think why.
You are paid to think, not type.13 -
A few weeks ago at infosec lab in college
Me: so I wrote the RSA code but it's in python I hope that's ok (prof usually gets butthurt if he feels students know something more than him)
Prof: yeah, that's fine. Is it working?
Me: yeah, *shows him the code and then runs it* here
Prof: why is it generating such big ciphertext?
Me: because I'm using big prime numbers...?
Prof: why are you using big prime numbers? I asked you to use 11, 13 or 17
Me: but that's when we're solving and calculating this manually, over here we can supply proper prime numbers...
Prof: no this is not good, it shouldn't create such big ciphertext
Me: *what in the shitting hell?* Ok....but the plaintext is also kinda big (plaintext:"this is a msg")
Prof: still, ciphertext shows more characters!
Me: *yeah no fucking shit, this isn't some mono/poly-alphabetic algorithm* ok...but I do not control the length of the ciphertext...? I only supply the prime numbers and this is what it gives me...? Also the code is working fine, i don't think there's any issue with the code but you can check it if there are any logic errors...
Prof: *stares at the screen like it just smacked his mom's ass* fine
Me: *FML*12 -
> Manager: Why does service X behaves Y way? It should do Z instead.
> Me: *explains why*
> Manager: I don't understand this...
> Me: *explains it in more simple terms and shorter sentences*
> Manager: I'm still not sure I get it.
> Me: It is like this because of a third party provider and we can't change anything for the same reason. Also it is working like this for half a decade now.
> Manager: Ok, I get it. So please fix the service, it should do Z instead of Y.
> Me: *facepalm* Sorry, I can't. Ask (frontend guy), maybe he can help you.
> Frontend guy a bit later: ┌П┐(ಠ_ಠ)8 -
Client: My email not working
Me: What error message you getting
Client: Nothing, it's just stuck on Outbook
Me: Is your Internet working?
Client: Yes, of cause am not that stupid
Me: No! No! just asking as checkup
Client: Okay
Me: Open your Internet Browser and goto Google or Facebook
Client: Okay hold on..I am getting message "There is no Internet Connection"
Me: Yea, your Internet is not working that's why email can't be send. Talk to your IT Guy or Internet Provider about it.
Client: Okay, thanks!3 -
You know what I realized we should always say no for demo driven application development.
We should always ask for enough time do a proper development and if its not enough, shouldn’t write a single line.
Because once we deliver a working demo. Its release ready for them because its FUCKING WORKING..
And trying to explain why this is just a demo and cant be put to production is even bigger pain in the ass than saying no in the beginning.
LESSON LEARNED .4 -
> le server suddenly stops working, no boot, no POST, no beeps, no video
*le frantic cursing on how perhaps that's why the fucking thing was only €60 🤬*
*takes out RAM*
> le server still not booting
*places RAM back without doing anything else*
> le server boots up again
🤔🤔🤔
Is this what they mean with things like "compile it again and somehow the compiler will not complain anymore after a while"?17 -
Me - Lately, been working on Node.js, its fun.
Friend - Oh but it doesnt scale well, I hate that language.
Me - why do you think so? and its a VM, JS is the language.
Friend - Cos it doesnt scale, i heard from others.
Me - wut.
I fucking hate people who fucking blindly hate a technology / programming language.
Motherfuck, whats with these idiots blindly hating languages?
Every lang has its own use cases, why cant these twats understand that.
You use a tech as per needs, its not a fucking make-up.7 -
It goes like this.
I have one final task to solve before starting in a new job at a different company. This guy, which is also a board member in the company in which I'm currently hired, is also an IT consultant and project manager in a fairly large company. This said person is also a key person for me being able to solve this last issue. I send him a complete guide on what he has to do before I can move on and wrap it all up.
First conflict arises because he doesn't follow the guide and tells me something is not working. I kindly inform him why and the response I get is very personal and not kind in any way, telling me and my boss that I am bad at my job and that he will bill us for 1000 USD for the 5 hours he used "debugging" and testing. This should have taken him 30 minutes and I have no idea what he spent those 5 hours doing.
It comes down to that my boss sides with this asshole and tells me that I have to do the task all over and test the system for the 4th time (yes I tested it 3 times beforehand to make sure nothing could go wrong) What my boss and the asshole doesn't know is that my uncle is vice president in the firm the asshole is working for. After kindly reminding this asshat that he has to follow the guide and that I can confirm everything is working, he keeps on attacking me. It's very rare that I fuck up and I have consulted 2 colleagues and got them to test it as well. They found no issues at all. The asshole ignored my request of documentation that something was not working.
I'm so full of being treated as an idiot so I send my uncle the email correspondence with the asshole to confirm that this is not how any of their employees should behave independant of my ability to do my job.
He will speak with this fucker tomorrow at work as first thing in the morning. I'm not proud of the way I went about this, but that was like the last drop, if you know what I mean.
Sorry for the long rant.20 -
So yesterday one of the "senior" python developers woke me up at 1 am (we work in different time zones, and he knows how many hours I'm ahead) asking why isn't his code working. The error message was:
[ERROR] Runtime.ImportModuleError: Unable to import module 'app': xxx is not installed, run `pip install xxx` Traceback (most recent call last)
I am at lose of words and patience. Not only idiots who can't google simple stuff are seniors, additionaly we went from "DevOps is a culture" straight to "hey I'm developer in my silo, if it doesn't work on my machine it's DevOps problem, plz fix".12 -
"Why is this not working, it was working before!!??😤"
--finally fix problem--
"How the hell was it working before??"2 -
D: Hey, your stuff isn't working, fix your stuff or it will become a road blocker.
Me: Why it is not working?
D: Because I used the same table as you used, and I changed a few things. there are 22 reasons for it.
(polite conversation stopped and I redirected him to my manager)
WTF? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU CHANGED MY STUFF WITHOUT TELLING ME AND YOU ARE NOT USING ANY SOURCE CONTROL? WTF? YOU CREATED THIS SHIT AND CALL MY STUFF NOT WORKING? ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT?
CUT YOUR FINGERS AND POINT TO YOURSELF.2 -
Someone just rang the IT Helpdesk moaning that outlook wasn't syncing his mail and it was because the brand new laptop he's just gotten is crap.
So first, the guy on the helpdesk asked to log into the users laptop to look at outlook.
He apparently isn't at his laptop and doesn't have time for anyone to log in!
Wtf lol
So he rings back 10 mins later when at his laptop but wont let the helpdesk log in as he has 'confidential' documents open.
Wtf, close them, why are you ringing us to look at your laptop if you won't let us log on?? lol
So helpdesk was like ok, just check cat cable is plugged in, check wifi is off, do a send/receive etc. and the user's like yes, they're all okay!
Helpdesk tells him to reboot his pc. He does so.
Doesn't resolve it.
Skip forward another 10 painful minutes while the helpdesk guy is pulling his hair out checking everything in the background, and all looks fine.
User then says "should i also turn off my iPhone?"
Helpdesk: 'No, outlook is just on your laptop'.
User: 'No *assured laugh* its on my phone too. I get emails there too'
Helpdesk: 'No, you use the generic 'Mail' app on your phone. Outlook is a separate app. We don't use it.'
User: 'But you're not listening, regardless of the app name, that's my problem, mail's not working on my phone'.
Helpdesk: '.....so why didn't you say so 20 minutes ago when i asked to log into ur laptop?'
User: 'Didn't think it was relevant. Laptop was fine. Assumed you'd know'.
...........
Why.
Why???
Why.
Shockingly, a phone restart fixed it. The user couldn't remember the last time he'd turned the thing off.11 -
only developer with linux. everyone else are on windows.
constantly finding myself in following conversation
me : "something is not working for me on the web page i am writing"
jim : "let me see just a.... WOW! WHAT IS THIS?"
me:"ubuntu"
jim:"wat?"
me:"linux"
jim:"well... " +sigh + "that's your problem right there! this works to everyone else. and they're on windows. why would you ever not use windows?"
me:"have you ever tried anythig else?"
jim:"never needed to. windows works just fine.."
me:"well... does your computer ever freeze?"
jim:"constantly"
me:"that doesn't happen on ubuntu. at least it is quite rare"
jim:"nah... you're mistaken. windows rocks! anyway, you should probably talk to someone who knows ubuntu cause my chrome works just fine so it must be this ubuntu of yours.."17 -
When your classmates are such lobotomites, that they manage to fry 11 fucking IC's within a day! And I am the one who has to find and replace all the broken stuff. FFS it says 9V right there on the board NOT 12V! No, your board should not draw 1.7AMPS! This chip is getting kinda hot. What is wrong? ONE OF YOUR FUCKING PROBES IS BRIDGING ONE OF THE PINS!
Why isnt this working correctly? You adjusted the wrong fucking potentiometer!
I know I have far more experience than most of my classmates, but man, atleast try to not break things by just thinking: "I dont know dis. (Its actually written in the docs!) So imma assume it will be fine if I do dis. It wasnt fine!"
Also IF something doesnt work, DO NOT TURN UP THE VOLTAGE ON THE CIRCUIT BECAUSE IT APPEARS TO BE THE CLOSEST POSSIBLE ERROR. Which in most cases it is not!7 -
after spending a day figuring out why my code does not work, i finally realized someone broke master
then i found myself in the following conversation
jim : "yeah, we found out about it yesterday, i am working on a fix right now"
me : "so why did you not send and email to everyone that master is broken, don't pull changes"?
jim : "hey... someone told me to fix it, so that's what i am doing. that doesn't include sending an email. if you want to, you can send it.. "7 -
Series of events between me (Mi) and dude in office (DIO).
Instance 1
DIO: There is not psql installed on staging.
Mi: Install it.
DIO: YUM is not working.
Mi: *tries yum it works* It is
DIO: Oh. Didn't work earlier.
Mi: *blank* Make sure you install 9.6
DIO: Cannot find psql
Mi: *types psql, it is already installed*
DIO: Oh, didn't work earlier.
Instance 2
DIO: Made this change to the API, the endpoint is not returning the right value
Mi: *restarts server, shit starts working*
DIO: I am pretty sure I did that, don't know what happened.
Instance 3
DIO: Cannot alter role to give login to this db user.
MI: *runs alter role db_user with login* works
DIO: Don't know why it wasn't working before.
Instance 4
DIO: I have been stuck on this test for the past 1 day, cannot get the API to return the right data while the Rest Endpoint works fine.
Mi: You are hitting the wrong endpoint in the test.
DIO: Oh, I put an extra 's'
Mi: BTW you are testing Spring-Boot with that test and nothing else.
DIO: Yes but what if Spring Boot has a bug?
Mi: ok.7 -
Stack Overflow. Everyone uses it but everyone seems to hate the community. I very often read about someone getting down voted and they all say the same thing - "I have no idea why".
I have spent a lot of time moderating SO posts, which gave me a lot of reputation and medals. I find it fun to help people and it feels good to give back to the community.
I have asked a bunch of questions and I've never gotten a single down vote, which leads me to believe everyone of you that is constantly getting down voted are doing something wrong. Because the posts I see getting down voted are fucking stupid questions that either lack information or contain too much information.
Example 1:
Server java error
Why is my server not working? I am using Tomcat, port 8080 and I'm getting IOException.
Example 2:
Webpack configuration not working
My webpack is not a working, why?
[entire webpack config]
End examples.
What the fuck are you expecting asking questions like these?? No one gets paid for answering your questions, so the least you can do is write a CLEAR AND UNDERSTANDABLE question. I'm not gonna tell you how to do it because there's A LOT of information on how to do it.
People devote hours and hours to helping others on SO, and of course they get fed up with the stupid and lazy questions. That community is not about being nice, it's not about making people feel welcomed, it's about QUALITY OF CONTENT. No one is crying when they find a superb question + answer, right? That's the result of a community not accepting low quality content.
So please, the next time you get a down vote on SO - do not come here whining about it but instead take a look at what you have posted there and ask yourself if it could have held a higher quality.
Thanks!8 -
The music I hear while coding can describe my current mood:
Dubstep and other electronic music -> chilled and focused
Movie soundtracks -> everything I do today is working fine
Anime Openings/JPop -> in desperate need for motivation
Metal -> why is that son of a code not working?!
What kind of music do you listen to while coding?17 -
How do i save a Word document?
How do i convert it to a pdf?
What is a pdf at all?
How to put all those things on a usb?
Why is this Pc not working?
I should start to charge by Minute...8 -
I'm sure this has probably been posted before, but it never fails to drive me nuts, and customers never stop doing it, so:
Why do end users think "it's broken" is all they have to put into the support ticket?
It's a web app, not a goddamn pretzel.
If the turn signal on your car stops working, do you drop your car off at the mechanic, hand them the keys, and say "its broken, fix it!"?
While I'm on the topic, "I tried to do {x} and it gave an error" is better than "its broken", but still: why do you think what the actual error says would be completely irrelevant, especially when we put in the effort to give you relatively meaningful error messages?
I mean, is "there was a problem sending the email" so utterly gibberish to you that it is indistinguishable from "error: 0x000351e6"?
If so, I'm sorry, but you're too stupid to use a goddamn computer!5 -
Senior Engineer -
Hey. I have a code that hits API to get details and multithreading is implemented. Can you just change the URL formed to hit Api?
Me
Yeah sure why not.
Me
After some time I discover that the initial code itself wasn't working 😐
I realise i need to fix code, fix multithreading and then make the URL changes.
Just finished......Realised had to rant....1 -
Be me, new dev on a team. Taking a look through source code to get up to speed.
Dev: **thinking to self** why is there no package lock.. let me bring this up to boss man
Dev: hey boss man, you’ve got no package lock, did we forget to commit it?
Manager: no I don’t like package locks.
Dev: ...why?
Manager: they fuck up computer. The project never ran with a package lock.
Dev: ..how will you make sure that every dev has the same packages while developing?
Manager: don’t worry, I’ve done this before, we haven’t had any issues.
**couple weeks goes by**
Dev: pushes code
Manager: hey your feature is not working on my machine
Dev: it’s working on mine, and the dev servers. Let’s take a look and see
**finds out he deletes his package lock every time he does npm install, so therefore he literally has the latest of like a 50 packages with no testing**
Dev: well you see you have some packages here that updates, and have broken some of the features.
Manager: >=|, fix it.
Dev: commit a working package lock so we’re all on the same.
Manager: just set the package version to whatever works.
Dev: okay
**more weeks go by**
Manager: why are we having so many issues between devs, why are things working on some computers and not others??? We can’t be having this it’s wasting time.
Dev: **takes a look at everyone’s packages** we all have different packages.
Manager: that’s it, no one can use Mac computers. You must use these windows computers, and you must install npm v6.0 and node v15.11. Everyone must have the same system and software install to guarantee we’re all on the same page
Dev: so can we also commit package lock so we’re all having the same packages as well?
Manager: No, package locks don’t work.
**few days go by**
Manager: GUYS WHY IS THE CODE DEPLOYING TO PRODUCTION NOT WORKING. IT WAS WORKING IN DEV
DEV: **looks at packages**, when the project was built on dev on 9/1 package x was on version 1.1, when it was approved and moved to prod on 9/3 package x was now on version 1.2 which was a change that broke our code.
Manager: CHANGE THE DEPLOYMENT SCRIPTS THEN. MAKE PROD RSYNC NODE_MODULES WITH DEV
Dev: okay
Manager: just trust me, I’ve been doing this for years
Who the fuck put this man in charge.11 -
Client : So you can make our website. Right?
Me: yes :)
Client: okay, can you please check why our printer is not working?
Me: :|4 -
Saw this on the interwebs. Left: customer. Right: employee.
The left one looks like a nice type of customer-person though.
I like to imagine that the employee-guy does not understand why the computer is not working, at which point the customer-person says: "Oh, I can fix that."5 -
I'm 4 days old to this company. I spent 40 minutes debugging why the internet is not working. I asked the IT Guys for the support and they said everything is good.
So why the fuck is the internet not working? I rant at them. The IT Guy told me to calm down and then he will help me. So I calm down and again went to ask for help. He said that he will check it out after breakfast.
It's been more then an hour and he hasn't returned yet. I'm going to complain to the Boss when he comes in. This is not cool man.11 -
Why is it so important to some people to claim that "HTML and CSS are not programming languages"? I get it, you're a REAL programmer working with arrays, maybe tuples, objects and possibly direct memory management. Who the fuck has a right to call themselves a programmer for writing some brain dead markup or poorly designed selectors, right? Who fucking cares for semantic tags or nested selectors?
Just think for a few seconds about when you were taking your first baby steps to becoming the GOD ROCKING MEMORY HANDLER THAT WRITES _REAL_ CODE that you are today, and how good it felt to be able to create something that appeared on your screen. It felt pretty awesome, yeah?
Now imagine if someone much more experienced than you told you "You're not a real programmer, that is not real programming. You should see what I do, I do real programming".
I think you get it. Why spend your energy spreading bad vibes when you could spend it on something more productive. Like reading up on the new CSS4 specs ;)18 -
Action takes place during demo to the stakeholders.
Manager : During the demo we will show a working prototype of new functionality. In this sprint we focused on that feature not on UX. Please do not pay attention to UI and focus on business values
*Dev starts sharing screen*
*1 sec after*
Executive : This is unacceptable. It looks gross, why you don't use default controls.
Manager : We did, this is how they look like, but please do not pay attention to UI, it is not finished
*Dev continue presenting*
*1 sec after*
Executive : I see missing comma in that sentence. It is unacceptable to show features in that state, lets move on to another team.
It was really large feature working as a charm, but they focused entirely on unpolished UI :/4 -
My manager is an idiot and a complete asshole.
Knowing that I was working on a solution for an important problem, he sent an email to our customers saying that the problem cannot be solved, and the customers need to take care of it themselves. He sent this email the evening before I was supposed to present my solution to everybody.
It's not the first time something like this happens, but this stupid individual RESIGNED ONE MONTH AGO. He's in notice period right now, and nonetheless he keeps fucking people like he used to do. WHY THE FUCK MANAGEMENT DOES NOT BLOCK HIS EMAIL!?5 -
Apparently, working from home means "you are available 24/7 right?" at my current workplace. I am grateful that I have a job, but I do not dig getting emails or my guys getting harassed after hours for things that would normally have to wait until the next day.
I also dislike getting woken up by the Head of Department 1 hour to 2 hours before normal time because of something super-duper-zomg urgent that would normally wait. Which is why my phone is now on silence for phone calls and my notifications for emails is out after hours.11 -
last semester i was working as assistant professor teaching Basic OOP Subject. and my girl happens to be enlisted as my student. One day she was late for my class and get in without a permission. so i ask her
Me : Why don't you knock the door?
Her : Why should i ?
Me : did i give you my permission ?
Her : Public class doesn't need permission. our class is not Private.
oh my god i'm so in love with her2 -
Warning: American perspective of some shit that happens in America that I do not know if it is the same in other places of the world.
I got a notification from my child's school saying that she has been selected for doing <bs activity> between the hours of 1-3 and that parent cooperation is expected. I called the institution and told them that she would not be participating. They asked me WHY, to which I answered that said schedule does not align with my daily schedule. They continue to press as to WHY she would not make it to which I added in a very harsh tone: "because I am fucking working and my wife is fucking working, what age do you think it is? the 1950s in which I can have some meaningless desk job and pay for a house that would be worth half a mil now a days when my wife stays at home all day and just goes with whatever whim y'all have?"
Needless to say, she is no longer in said activity group, but this seems to be very frequent inside of school systems in the U.S, they really ain't evolved much.
No, wait, they have, we have active shooter trainings now, that shit is semi-new.14 -
Why does CSS never work the way you'd expect? All I want to do is align something to the bottom of a div. No. Will not happen. You'd think it might be something simple as 'v-align' or 'align: bottom' or 'fucking put it at the bottom: now;'
No, it's never that simple. I try every result I can find from googling. Nothing. Simply does not work.
How about trying to keep a div to a square when you resize the page? That should be simple? height = width right? Fuck you. Ha hahah, no you have to implement some horrendous arcane hack involving fake elements and other bullshit.
You finally fix one thing and everything else you had working is now broken.
...and then some fuckwit comes along and goes "Oh, CSS isn't hard..." and it takes everything you have not to beat them to death with your rubber duck.
What the hell is wrong with CSS? It's not even programming! It's just pure, sadistic hell! FUCK CSS!!!!14 -
It's 2017.
Why is vertically centering a div still so stinkin hard?
Yeah yeah ik what you will tell me, "use flexbox".
Well guess what,. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FOR THE PAST 6 FUCKING HOURS!
I've gone as far as to copy code from 20+ different websites advertising working solutions. My tab bar looks like the fucking rockey mountains!
My main problem is that flexbox on chrome is not accepting ANY % values.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go kill myself. YAY! 🤗29 -
Dear sweet merciful Lord, my API is WORKING! OMG! I take back everything bad I said about PHP. Turns out the connection to the database was causing the script not to run. I'll figure out why later but poor sweet PHP, is innocent.4
-
I should not have looked at this really interesting Chrome extension.
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/...
It tries to prevent phishing links from working by adding attributes to change the behaviour of the browser.
HOW DOES THIS WORK?
Just one simple line:
$('[target="_blank"]').attr("rel", "noopener noreferrer");
But why is this extension so bloated?
It loads the full jQuery library. For an attribute change!
I'd like to refer to this site for further investigations: http://youmightnotneedjquery.com//...
http://youmightnotneedjquery.com//...3 -
So Friday afternoon is always deployment time at my company. No sure why, but it always fucks us.
Anyways, last Friday, we had this lovely deployment that was missing a key piece. On Wednesday I had tested it, sent out an email(with screenshots) saying "yo, whoever wrote this, this feature is all fucked up." Management said they would handle it.
The response email. 1(out of 20) defects I sent in were not a defect but my error. No further response, so I assume the rest were being looked into.
In a call with bossman, my manager states that the feature is fixed, so I go to check it quickly before the deployment(on Friday).
THERE IS NO FUCKING CODE CHECK-IN. THE DEV BASTARD JUST SAID THAT MY USECASE WAS WRONG, SO MY ENTIRE EMAIL WAS INVALID.
I am currently working on Saturday, as the other guy refuses to see the problem! It is blatant, and I got 3 other people to reproduce to prove I am not crazy!
On top of that, the code makes me want to vomit! I write bad code. This is like a 3rd grader who doesn't know code copy-pasted from stack overflow! There is literally if(A) then B else if(!A) then B! And a for loop which does some shit, and the line after it closes has a second for loop that iterates over the same unaltered set! Why?! On top of that, the second for loop loops until "i" is equal to length-1, then does something! Why loop???
The smartest part of him ran down his Mama's leg when it saw the DNA dad was contributing!
Don't know who is the culprit, and if you happen to see this, I am pissed. I am working on Saturday because you can't check your code or you lied on your resume to get this job, as you are not qualified! Fuck you!15 -
It's 1:20am
Body: let's sleep.
Heart: beer or rum.
Brain: why the hell js is not working as expected? -
While I was working with my Android project that is written on Kotlin. One of my on non-tech colleague came and saw my screen and
said "Why are you overriding fun"
I replied him that we just not override fun we also have private fun and public fun.
Is it not funny translating code to real English 😂😂😂2 -
Some undocumented, never touched, 15 years old recursive function at the core of our business model suddenly stops working in a niche scenario, debugger is not available and I have to find out why.16
-
WTF is with the entire Angular2 eco system and "half instructions". Started learning it and every inch is a struggle, out dated docs and code samples and then this style of shit:
Google: "Angular2 and bootstrap"
Result: "Install ng-bootstrap to get native bootstrap components written in Angular by the Angular UI team"
Me: Install != work
Google: "ng-bootstrap not working"
Result: "You also need to install bootstrap css, heres how"
Me: Install, plus try component
Error: "Bootstrap requires jQuery"
Google: "Installing jQuery in Angular 2"
Result: <Instructions>
Me: Install, still not working
Google "Angular2 ng-bootstrap bootstrap jQuery"
Result: "Don't forget to also include Tether"
WHY DID THE FUCKING "ANGULAR-UI" TEAM NOT MENTION ANY OF THIS6 -
I am on a team of 2 currently at work.
I am assigned to build some custom code for a customer going live with our product soon.
Because my team mate is already working on another customers project I explained the work may not be done in time because we were not given sufficient notice for our team of two to plan for the project.
Sales team contact me later that day asking me why I told our customer we don't have enough resources.
He wanted me to find a better phrase to tell them like "We have half our team dedicated to your project."
Another reason to hate our sales team 🤪3 -
I fucking hate the Safari browser to death.
This piece of disk space waste is 50% of the reason why I have to spend hours to find out what the fuck is incorrectly displaying or not working on W.I.P. websites.
The other 50% is Edge, IE <=11 and Firefucks.
Just for piss smelling Safari, I need to either run a VM with Crapple OS X for debugging or borrow a Crapbook from $randomPerson.
Is it fucking not possible to compile Safari blowser to run on Linux or Winblows?
Eventhough I'm disgusted about Google and its privacy and data mining policies, Chrome is the most decent browser there is on the whole digital world. It only happens extremely rarely that something is not working/displaying as expected during development.
Most browser developers seem to be useless pubes eaters and like to shower with curd soap.13 -
Called in on a Saturday... I’d rather have my underwear ride up for the rest of my life than having to deal with your bitch ass not knowing how to run a FUCKING computer.
No, I promise it’s working fine you dense fuck. You just don’t know how to fucking run it. Perhaps instead of calling me in, why not ask your other coworkers how to preform the task that you’re failing to learn.
And the shit thing is, I’ve explained this so many fucking times. It’s not my fault you won’t retain the mother fucking information you cheeky bastard.
STOP FUCKING CALLING ME! - who the fuck even gave you my personal number you fuck!5 -
So i am a trainee at a Software Company in germany. Im in My thir year. We got a new trainee who has a better degree then me and is 3 years older (hes 23). yesterday we was in our Office working and My "teacher/Boss") was talking with a customer. Then the new trainee asks me at least 5 fucking stupid questions. I stay calm and answer them normally because i think He dosent kwow any better and would Learn it. So this fucker works on a typo 3 Website and ask me why He cant Put Java Inside his Website to animate some articles. I ask him why He would want to do this with Java? He says (like a ignorant fucker) because its only working using Java. I kindly ask him if He maybe means javascript and Not Java. And He says: oh yes i mean That but thats the Same thing. I say no its not javascript and Java are different languages. He responds with no Java is just a shorter Form of saying javascript. I quit helping this guy. The fact That he thinks He knows better its just killing me.7
-
I'm nearly crying today. 1 and half year ago I started my own business (gaming and android app dev company). Today I own an office and hired another person to help me. Why it took me 1,5 goddamn year to realize that working alone from my bedroom on 4-5 projects at the same time is not healthy nor productive in the long run? It seems that this shit took some self growth to realize that I can actually trust other human beings.7
-
*Working on a project with boss, I am working on a mobile app, he is working on web service app.
Me: this service takes user id as parameter to get all account details (all other web services are like that)
Boss: yes, I use the id to filter the data.
Me: but by this, everyone has the id can do anything ! why we do not use session token?
Boss: this is a detail, it is not important !
Me:...
*7 years of experience my ass5 -
!dev (or maybe dev? Idk)
I'm a strong starter but not a strong finisher. I have rarely ever enjoyed putting "final touches" on anything. This is why I would appreciate working with someone who's a strong finisher and is not a credit-thief. But in this day and age for some absurd reason one must be both a strong starter and a strong finisher. One should be a complete person. 🙄8 -
My manager thinks I am Superman! and he is so confident that can do any shit he wants me to do.
Yesterday he asked me to merge an ancient code hotfix (literally ancient) with latest branch of changes.
1. Hotfix is really old, most of the things are hardcoded, very specific to a stone age client.
2. Code documentation does not exist.
3. Developers of that code are probably dead.
4. Many Libraries which code uses are deprecated.
5. It's a legacy code, so no one has fucking idea what a particular clumsy block of code do, or what will happen if you remove it.
'if it runs don't touch it' policy by management.
Despite all this shit I successfully merged the the hotfix, refactored outdated code so as to run the application.
Showed this to my manager in full swag!
He was surprised at first, and asked me to show the code changes.
'Code review' was done by comparing files 😅
Manager: Dude, you have changed these lines, why? Explain.😧
Me: those lines won't work with new build, with new libs.☺️
Manager: then why can't you do old build with new changes?🙄
Me: umm.. wait... what???🤔
Manager: the code was working previously, it must be working even today without these changes.😡
Me: it was not working hence I made changes and now it's working fine see! ☺️
Manager: you have removed this, this and this!!! 😡
Me: but I also added that, that and that!😔
Manager: "don't touch it' if it works!"😡
Me: ... Idk what to say!
(In the back of my mind: "Don't touch it even it doesn't works!")😌8 -
Often I look at my seemingly perfect code 30cm away from screen, mumble "WTF", while asking me why it is not working.
My boss might think I'm retarded... -
Why do so many companies think that frontend work can be stuffed at the end of the product development right before a release is expected.
And to top it off, expect all things to be working, smooth, animating, responsive, crisp, fast with 100 fucking lighthouse score.
🖕 To everyone who thinks frontend work is meh!, Not real programming and similar. Fuck you!7 -
On my first week in the internship, I have to create a small website and it has to be finished ASAP. So I used Bootstrap.
After finishing I tested the website in chrome debugger tools for every screen size (design responsiveness), it was working fine. My stupidity was that I haven't tested on actual mobile/tablet.
The site was live, I send the link to one of my friends and he said "why everything is so small? looks like I'm browsing on PC". I quickly grab my phone and visited the site and it was not responsive on mobile. Started to check the code again, tested again on chrome tools it was working. But not on mobile. Changed the bootstrap file but no fucking changes on mobile.
After few moments of thinking, I realized that I haven't included the "meta viewport" tag. I felt so stupid and it was kind of embarrassing for me.
Now I first include meta tags before working on new project.5 -
fucking piece of garbage postman!
WHY THE HELL do you auto-update yourself when i explicitly DISABLED updates?
why the hell is it just a "minor" update to switch to a version that FORCES you to have an account, even if all you do is use offline features?
and why is there no option to disable syncing your data to their server, even if it's not needed at all? YALL EVER HEARD OF A THING CALLED PRIVACY?
and why the fucking fuck of all fucked fucks DO YOU DELETE MY PREVIOUS OFFLINE DATA SO I CAN'T EVEN CONTINUE WORKING BY INSTALLING AN OLDER VERSION?!?
some dumb-piece-of-garbage-waste-of-oxygen managers decision to screw their userbase cost me several HOURS(!) of work already and probably will cost some more due to the lost collections.10 -
How difficult is it to do things and do them properly? Clearly in 2019, very difficult. And why on Earth would you do things properly, when there's get rich quick schemes, shortcuts to be found and taken, and that filthy filthy legal tender. If the shitty implementation makes a profit, why do it properly? Makes no sense.
Except it fucking does. And you know why? Because of the guy that comes after you, that works with your fucking bullshit implementation and probably curses you to the moon and beyond in the process. Just like you probably did with the guy that came before you, with that bullshit you got tasked to work with. Don't be that guy. And don't be that guy to the next guy.
Still with me? Good. Here's the thing. You can do [insert job here] quick and dirty. But you're guaranteed to be checking back on it and fixing the crap later on. Or worse yet, someone else will be cursing you to the moon and beyond while they are fixing / working around your crap. So why not do it right in the first place? Is this why we can't have nice things?5 -
Client have this amazing idea about a website that they wanted to convert into reality by using our service. Me and my friend started working on it.
After a month later when it's almost ready, they informed they are not investing into the idea anymore. They would like to discard the project and will pay half of it.
I am eventually realising why signing a contract is really important4 -
Soft rant...
So I'm working at the company for 8 months now. Best 8 months in my career, great team mates, great work, the best - a team leader who is one of the best developers I've ever worked with, but more importantly he is a good friend, brother like. We had great time, from the interview we understood there is a bro-mance there.
So why am I ranting? He got promoted and became a group leader, not even of my group. Now we don't have a TL and we're afraid they won't be able to get a swell guy like our exTL2 -
What a lazy fuck.
This so called full-stack developer doesn't know how to use mysql from command line. The only way he can do anything in the database is using phpMyAdmin or MySQL gui.
What? How do you even call yourself a developer when you don't know how to use basic command line tools?
The fucker wants me to find out why a particular feature is not working?
Why the fuck are you being paid for? You stupid idiot.
"Can you please grep ... in the server?"
What? Why would I do that for you? How about you ssh the server yourself?
What a waste of time.5 -
Why me. Why is it always me who has issues with Windows. (The OS)
I HAVE to use windows for a specific thing right now. Fair enough, I have an old system lying around somewhere with not the best specs ever but it'll do. Windows 7, clean install.
Firstly, let's boot up! Booting goes fine, login goes well... "Installing device drivers" (keyboard and mouse combi). I connected this set a gazillion times before so no clue why windows would need to download the drivers YER AGAIN. But, fine, it works.
Let's connect a USB webcam and to to the hardware testing website to see if my setup is right!
(I mostly don't blame this part on windows)
The webcam drivers install successfully, good. Although the page says it isn't working, it displays the live cam footage well so whatever.
Installed Chrome (not chromium too badly) to see if it shows fine there but chrome doesn't detect ANY cam/mic combination at all, not even the integrated one(s).
Annoying so let's reboot and see if it works normally with all checks okay on Firefox.
Rebooted.... aaaaand the USB webcam driver installation fails. I'm weirded out since the drivers were installed BEFORE the reboot already. Firefox now does not display any can/mic.... until it does after a few reloads. Windows is still saying that the driver installation failed.
The testing webpage, however, still says its not working while I'm literally seeing my ugly smug on screen. I contact support which does a remote check and says all is good but there was probably "a glitch with Windows" while the checks are still mostly red, I take a copy of the chat log just to be sure.
Now, I kinda want to shut this system down until the time I'll need it but I'm rather afraid that Windows is going to throw driver conundrums yet again and I simply *CANNOT* have this right now. So, I'm leaving this system on until I need it, and I'll pray windows plays along well.23 -
I was not having much respect for out front-end developer, as the UI is not so good., yea. I know it UI depends on the designer.
Now the new design changed and our UI looks awesome.,
and I must say that my respect increased a lot when my pm asked him to fix the layout in UC Browser.
Fucking shit., in UC it is showing two lanes as one lane. I don't know why., he was working hard to fix that.
Massive Respect to him. I really happy by being backend dev.8 -
Don't you just hate when your boss goes like:
"Why isn't this feature working?"
SHIT FUCK, IF I KNEW THE REASON, MAYBE I WOULD HAVE FIXED THAT SHIT, INNIT?
WHAT KIND OF FUCKING QUESTION IS THAT?
"Well you should have tested better"
IT TOOK A MONTH FOR 1 USER TO SEE THAT BUG, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? YOU EXPECT ME TO SEE THAT BUG IN THE FEW HOURS OF TESTING I CAN ACTUALLY DO FOR THIS PROJECT?
"There also are other 15 project to get done"
FUCK THIS SHIT -
How to NOT write unit tests:
A colleague of mine has developed a new package of software, many of our new projects are going to use. So in his presentation of the new functionalities he also showed us that he used unit tests to cover some of his code. So i asked him to show me that all tests passes.
He: I can show you, but one test suit will fail currently.
Me: Why?? You told us, everything is finished and works fine.
He: That's right, but they will fail because I'm currently not in the customer VPN.
Me: Excuse me, WHAT??
He: Yes, I'm not in the VPN that connects me to this one customers facility in Hungary, where the counterpart of the software is runnung live.
Me: YOU WROTE UNIT TESTS THAT TEST AGAINST A RUNNING LIVE FACILITY??
He: Yes, so I can check, that the telegramms I send are right. If I get back the right acknowledgement, the telegramm structure is right and my code is working.
Me: You know, that is not the porpose of unit tests? You know, that these test should run in any environment?
He: But they are proving, that my code is working. Everytime I change something I connect to the customer and let the tests run.
Me: ...
Despite the help of some other developers we could not convince him that this was not good and he should remove them. So now this package is used in 2 new projects and this test suit is still failing, everytime you execute all unit tests.7 -
Working as a software engineer but: co-workers randomly walk into my office to ask me <<insert random IT problem (i.e. mouse not working etc.)>> while I'm deeply focused programming. Trying to close my office door results in co-workers backbiting...
Why can't they just go to the IT administrator who's work it is to handle their fucking problems?3 -
Bloody Windows kept waking up after a few seconds of being suspended. Someone here mentioned it could be the mouse, so I disabled its function to wake the pc . And you know what? That piece of trash windows still kept waking up for no reason. Makes me angry.
So I found this magic command 'powercfg/lastwake', which shows the reason for the last wake. And look at that! The fucking realtek network shitcard is allowed to wake windows.
Why would windows enable that on its own? Why? Because I for sure did not make this change and suspend was working for me until a few months ago (yes, these kind of problems take me very long to fix, even though it would tske only two minutes).4 -
10 PM (after a very busy working day), CTO calls me and tells me: "We decided to hand in the new version to [random client] one week earlier, so they can test it."
Me: "I don't think is a good idea, the app is still unstable, we started working in it yesterday, it *will* crash"
CTO: "Don't you worry, at least they know we are working on it"
20 minutes later
CTO: "WTF why did you make my app crash?! I can't send this to a client!"
Told you. That is why that code is on develop and not on master. -
Linux is shit, OSX and iOS are trash, windows is the only OS that actually works, open source is always inferior to closed source, if you use VPN or encryption youre a criminal, java is slow, vim worse than nano, ..
Now that I've got your attention and you probably raged and downvoted.
Downvotes don't actually work on devrant. (not a bug)
This has been going on for months already - why have that function to begin with, if its just not fucking working? The usual answer to people throwing a fit is "just downvote it", WHY? it doesnt fucking work.
For a while specific options while downvoting DID actually work, but now any of the downvote options are just straight trashed and ignored, they are saved, dont get me wrong (or else it would be too obvious), but they dont affect any of the scores at all.
I understand mass bot downvoting should be prevented, but why take away anyones voice by completely ignoring downvotes. I really dont get it, its not "punishing" the creator of said post or comment, its simply reflecting what the users actually think of said comment or post, it boils my blood how thats even a thing, I am honestly disappointed.
Why should also downvoting something hide it from the feed (especially on the "recent" filter), let me fucking decide what I want on my feed via option then atleast. What if I don't agree with a rant, downvote it, but then want to see what others thought of it? how am I supposed to find it again?24 -
QA: “not accepted since text differs from specs.”
Me: “but... the text comes from specs, I copy pasted it yesterday, wtf?”
*checking specs versioning*
Specs updated 1 hour ago
Having to input text from jira to the language strings cause design’s too lazy to do it themselves is stupid enough, but the good old “specs changed after the feature is done” gig is a must... to remember you why you hate working for someone.13 -
A Bad and Sad Day
Hello Monday,
Client : on weekend site went down for 7 hours? Why ?
Me : Let me check the logs
Client : bla bla bla
boss : check ur code bla bla bla
Reason : Some PHP service stopped on server
Client2 : I have purchased this software and you have to made minor changes
Me : Payment Integrations are not working?
Client : Whataa nonsense is this.. you are supposed to do this
Me : We are supposed to do minor changes. They do not have proper payment integrations. If you want we have to write complete code
Client : bla bla.. I gave you working software
:( Why don't you just fuck off .. liars2 -
While working on my localization algorithm, I also set up a baseline I can compare my results to. I chose AMCL which is the go-to localization package everyone uses in ROS.
I took a peek at their code and found this atrocity - "ad hoc weighting scheme" where probabilities that are not mutually exclusive are added together, and also taken to the power of 3 because why the hell not!6 -
Fucking hell everything in java is so annoying, confusing and hard to get working. I just want to use JavaFX, why do you require me to sacrifice a lamb in order to do so? It might be my fault though, but c'mon, I don't want to spend 2-3 hours reading through shitty documentation in order to understand how maven works and what the hell Gradle is. Why can't it be as simple as adding a module name to a config file, like in Rust's Cargo? Even using intellij to acquire JavaFX and set it as a dependency doesn't work, it gives me some weird "JavaFX not configured" bullshit error. What the fuck, you're a library, you shouldn't need anything else ffs6
-
Spent 30 minutes figuring out WHY THE FUCK is toggle not working.
Turned out the value was undefined because of a fucking typo!1 -
Working from third world country means getting paid just 10-20% of world wide salaries and already being happy about it, because your salary is still 4 times higher than other local ones.
Silly wishes for career. To achieve getting paid 90%+ of the salary in the next close years. Or at least 50%.
Some of the local people continue work for 10% salary all their career life here... I wonder why? Why not to fight for your place in the world?10 -
Why is every company so BAD at working with spaces in passwords? Just trying to setup Hulu on my PS4, apparently I forgot my password? No, my password had a space in it. So maybe Hulu's just one of those companies that doesn't allow spaces in passwords? Wait no, I can log in with no problems on my Switch or PC with the space. It's just SPECIFICALLY the PS4 app that doesn't allow spaces. Cool cool cool.
Like, am I missing something? Is there some reason it's harder to hash than other characters? It's just an ASCII character, it's not like I'm copy/pasting in some fringe unicode shit. Some companies straight up ban it. Some like Amazon don't recognize it as a special character, while demanding I use a special character. Why is this so terrible?4 -
Client - "hi, I got the mail. Is the app complete.......","...you've done this part?....","...have you done that blabla section..."
😑..I already wrote it in the mail that it is complete, dumbass. And Why don't u just flipping RUN it and see if this part and that section is working properly and tell me if your highness can spot something incomplete.
No I'm not overreacting. He acts like this all the time.2 -
Guy who thinks git is too much automation:
Files on master:
main.py
main_<other guy>_code.py
main_old_code.py
Also says: Don't push now because I am working on some files and git is not capable of dealing with changes to files within the same time.
WHY?!6 -
Inflexible working times.
I mean why the fuck is it ok to be at the office from 5am to 1:30pm but not from 10am to 6:30pm or what I would like most in weeks like the current one: 11 / 12pm to 7:30 / 8:30pm?6 -
Me: Im testing a new feature that is not on production yet for 30m and can not make it work. (I asked the developer for any idea why is not working)
Dev: i just tested, works fine.
Me: i just tested again with no luck. I’m i missing anything?
Dev: (Developer comes to my desk). Lets see what you doing wrong here. (After 5seconds). You're not on UAT. You have been redirected to the production and you've been testing there all this time.
Me: 😩 -
First Rant here.
So I was working on some integration test issues when I found this by accident made by a professional level SW engineer:
@Test
public void testMethod() throws ApiException {
Response res = null;
try {
res = serviceToTest.callMethod();
} catch(Exception e) {
assertNull(res);
}
}
Was wondering why tests were being green after some code changes I've made cuz tests could have not been green afterwards.
Together with a senior (I'm also professional only) I've tried to explain him for a good 1-2hrs why this code is useless and he still did it. Good thing there are no errors in the real implementation from him after fixing the tests as it's code freeze here and we are having go live in a few days 🙃
Also luckily he isn't working on our code anymore and has only been doing so for a few weeks.
Wasted a day with it and gonna check all of his code now before I run in the next surprise.1 -
FUCK FIREBASE, FUCK CLOUD MESSAGING, FUCK GOOGLE, FUCK APPLE, FUCK PUSH NOTIFICATIONS, FUCK PROGRAMMING AND FUCK MY LIFE. JUST TELL ME MOTHERFUCKERS WHY NOTIFICATIONS IS NOT WORKING ANYMORE, I SWEAR I DIDN'T CHANGE A SINGLE LINE OF THE FUCKING CODE. AND IT'S BEEN ONLY ONE WEEK SINCE THE LAST TIME I TESTED IT.5
-
Doing a python code review after working in Scala is all:
"Why the loop? Can you just put a function here and... oh yeah, right... python does not allow it. I could have written these 20 lines in 4 if was Scala"
Scala, stop spoiling me!!4 -
I work in a team where I am the only person not belonging to the main company. We have been a year and 3 months working together and they still don't realise that I have very restricted access to many of the things related to the project. So every now and then, something breaks and we have a meeting where they all tell me how disappointed they are at me because I was responsible for that and then I try to show them how I could not possibly even access the information where it is stated that I was responsible for that thing. Or that that thing even existed.
And then, the move the conversation to why they won't pay for my ramping up. This is not ramping up, assholes, this is you allowing me to access the information I need to do my job as you want!
I really don't know what to do... Other than looking for another job1 -
My coleague's story
- before leaving after long day at the office final look at support cases (after official support hours)
- sev1 ticket logged an hour ago, noone called us (although should have; after support hours)
- angry manager calls and demands to get in touch with the client immediately (we're already after support hours, FTS should pick the case, not us)
- we reach out. Customer has business-impacting case
- after initial info gathering: some cert got expired, they got a new one and placed it in the app's directory. The app still does not work
- the first question we ask: "are you sure you have placed it in the right directory?"
- "yes, we are sure. No problems there" - answers a voice with indian accent
- noone finds the root cause for hours.
- It's already 1am
- someone from client's specialists comes up with an idea: "are we sure the cert is in the right place? Let's try to move it to the same directory the old one was in the first place"
- .................................................
- production is working again
- "Why didn't anyone from support suggest this?!?!"
- .................................................
- 2am. Case solved, manager is informed everything's allright now.
- In the morning we get yelled at by the manager bcz we supposedly missed a sev1 ticket and were incompetent during the conf. call
This reminds me why I stay away from support. And why I started hating people. And why I do not work with indians (our ways are too different for me to stay sane and not to kill anyone).3 -
The most recent that comes to my mind is from one of my previous projects. Our team is already overloaded and frustrated working for this garbage client. One fine day, out of the blue, the client once again revises the list of go-live critical development objects.
Our project manager takes this issue up with the client, and then with our management when the client does not listen.
The response he gets from our management is along the lines of, "But it's just forty development objects. Why are you complaining? Just get it done."
Needless to say, the motivation levels of the entire team went on a downward spiral soon after.1 -
mom : i don't understand why my son became a nocturnal being..
father : son .. what the hell do you do entire night alone in your room with your lappy .. go get a gf or get married .. go get a life
relatives : beta (son in indian lang) my tv is not working can you fix it.. beta my internet is not working on my mobile (goddamnit turn on the mobile data for fuck sake )1 -
My current situation:
Manager: How is Project A coming? Project A is top priority. I would like to see a PR today with fixes to the current tickets.
Me: Project A is priority! Sure!
*after 2hours*
Manager: How is project B coming along? I did not see any PR’s coming in?
Me: I am working on project A as it is priority.
*after 1 hour*
Manager: How is project C coming? There is one ticket pending. We need a fix for it today asap!
Me: Starts project C as project A would take more time. Starts Work on project C.
*after 1 hour*
Boss: How is project A coming? Where is the PR?
Me: As you said you need a fix for project C today, i started working on project C as it has only 1 ticket to be fixed.
Boss: I told you project A is priority, why are you working on project C?
Me: *doesn’t reply*
*after 1 hour*
Boss: There is a ticket pending in project D. Did you make a fix for it?
*This is my usual day at work.
*I am the only developer in my current company. It’s not a software development company.
*Note: I do complete all the work and create PR’s for all “pending” work at the end of the day for all projects and leave for home at around 10pm :)
What do you think? Lol6 -
A rant about people in general:
I am sick of people not caring, not giving a fuck, not valuing others.
Studying CS this is something I noticed the past year: people tend to not acknowledge that there are other human beings around them.
Some are just focused on getting their degree done and dusted as fast as possible, which is fine.
Some are working to pay the rent or student loans, which is fine.
Others just do their thing, code their stuff, criticize other's code... which is also fine.
But nobody's realizing they're interacting with other people! Other living, feeling human beings. For them it's just about getting it done.
And not just at university.
I've started seeing it everywhere.
At the job I'm working, people in the shops and on the streets.
I don't get it. We are all human on this rocky sphere in space. Why do so many not care for each other?
It makes me sad.3 -
I have been trying to understand why my student's code isn't working just to find this piece of code. Checking out code early in the morning is definitely not my thing.3
-
Me: Im testing a new feature that is not on production yet for 30m and can not make it work. (I asked the developer for any idea why is not working)
Dev: i just tested, works fine.
Me: i just tested again with no luck. I’m i missing anything?
Dev: (Developer comes to my desk). Lets see what you doing wrong here. (After 5seconds). You have been redirected to the production site and you've been testing there all this time.
Me: 😩1 -
Me: I don't understand, why is this not working?
After a few hours of debugging and continuous re-starting the server and most important praying to GOD
Me: F**k! how is this working? Ok let's not touch it, it's working -
Why most of the Indian developers code so bad? I face it very often, with my colleagues, with the freelancers we hire, even with our clients.
I am an Indian, and I feel so much disgusted (& sad as well) when a client tell us that they have a dedicated team to rework on the code which they outsource from India. If you visit a freelancing website you will see that the Indian developers have the least price, and they bid on literally anything even without understanding what they need to do. And finally when they get a job, they complete it, but with a fully f*cked up code and the worst architecture possible.
I have a lot of friends working in IT, and I personally know that they do not have any passion about programming. They just work for money, nothing else. I don't understand, why? My 7 years of IT career is probably not long enough to find a suitable answer for this 'why'.15 -
I am working on a webservice that some other consultants upstairs are set to consume.
Last week, monday, the consultants send multiple emails and one of them comes downstairs to find out why the service isn't working correcrly. My manager tells them in email that it is still being developed and won't be ready for ten business days.
However in the meantime the service has some barebones functionality that they can try out.
And wouldn't you know it, I get emails and visits every other day along the way asking why the service is down or doesn't function.
When is the service going to be down? Why isn't this working? Hey you need to fix this
IT'S NOT DONE YET2 -
Like any frontend dev working in an organisation, all of what I do are "designed" by an UX/UI designer. Now he fucking has a problem with me and has been going around saying he's gonna resign because of me. (Apparently he said that while walking away from where I was with the intention of it falling in my ears but I was oblivious to it).
On enquiring (to another colleague)why he has a problem with me he said I don't respect him. Perplexed(more curious), I asked what is it that I do to disrespect him and what I found out was out of the world.
I DISRESPECT HIM BY ASKING HIM QUESTIONS ABOUT THE WORK HE DOES.
Awesome, right? Not only does he consider that disrespect but he also takes it personally. WTH?! I'm not supposed to ask why you do a certain things?
Some of my questions -
1. Why are there font sizes of 13px, 14px, 15px right next to each other?
2. Why is there a gap between the sidebar and the content?
3. Why aren't even sizes being used?
Etc.
So much for maturity. He's completely ignoring me, be it on the floor or during meetings. I couldn't care less. It wouldn't take me much to tell him where he's fucking up. The only reason I asked him questions was to understand things better; maybe I don't understand what I find wrong.
But now ~(˘▾˘)~4 -
// My First Rant
We have a developer that almost everyone adjust to what he want to avoid talking or working with him.
I have office mates that doesn't want to give tasks to him just to avoid working with him.
Even our devOps guy just did what he want so he would stop talking.
One bad experience of our devOps guy with him is that his infrastructure or other AWS stuff was blame why his APIs is not working. It turns our that his url for the database has FUCKING SPACES.
Not sure if a good practice but he wants the base url of our Endpoint to be set in environment variables instead of having DEV/PROD/TESTING and base the endpoint from there.
He said that he was given permission to study a language but he doesn't even ask for permission.3 -
WE TEST ON THE STAGING SITE. I DON'T BUST MY ASS WITH A SEPARATE STAGING API AND HTTPS://STAGING.WHATEVERTHEFUCKYOUWANTOBUILD.COM/..., SO THAT YOU CAN MESSAGE ME THAT NOTHING IS WORKING. THAT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ON THE STAGING SITE. IF I HAVE TO REMIND YOU AGAIN, I AM NEVER TALKING TO A NON TECHNICAL PERSON AGAIN
THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME. ITS LITERALLY LIKE A BROKEN RECORD SO WHY DO I EXPECT ANYTHING TO CHANGE, EVERY CLIENT IS THE SAME, EVERY TIME, GOD I HATE IT MAKE IT STOP4 -
Now I see why people think "medium" is trashy...
Medium writer: [writes 2 mins-read-article with 6 unrelated gifs on how to implement an extension to a framework.]
Random user: [ uses guidance from post to implement the solution, but was met with errors]
Random user: I have used this your guidance and another but...[ random user paste error]
Medium writer: I am not sure, ... I haven't been working.
like serious, you shouldn't write an article of something you don't know about dude!
.15 -
Why is it still not working for me?
FOR THE 10TH TIME TODAY CLEAR YOUR FUCKING CACHE!
Sorry what was that?
Clear your cache please.1 -
So, for the past...what, week or so? I've been working on a side project with @gianlu. It's the PretendYoureXyzzy fork - our attempt to rejuvenate an old shitty piece of software.
I had started working on a fork alone, and then he asked to team up so I was like "Sure, I got nothing better to do." So, he's working on the backend (and hooking JS up to the backend) and I'm developing the frontend.
I don't know why I thought tech would stand still. Google says they're putting MDL on life support and replacing it with a much more complex successor, MDC. It's not hard to use, but what really bugs me is the lack of notice on getmdl.io. If you are switching to another project as your main focus, why the fuck wouldn't you advertise in the most places possible?
Granted, I don't do web design and/or development on the daily. Yes, I can do it, but I'm not always as up-to-date with web technologies as I'd like to be.
However, the screencap captured is the third time I've taken the knife to the UI. MDC is great tooling, at least to me. That dialog? Not something MDL would've had out the box on the first day. You'd have to work for that.
I don't have an issue with MDC, I have an issue with the lack of PR around it.6 -
There’s no such thing as quiet quitting. If working accordingly to the pay cheque and job description is called quiet quitting, why not calling
- every jobs are “quiet slaveries” .
- every banks charges are “quiet robberies”.
- every food I ate are “quiet shitting.”
- every gym rats are “quiet dieting.”
See? This doesn’t make any sense. Companies these days ….🤦♂️8 -
-- This is my first rant so sorry if it's bad--
We have a nice project that I am working on that needs to store and interact with location data. It is a .NET Core API using Entity Framework Core to interact with the database. All good and well. Until today when I started working on the implementation of storing location data we retrieve from mobile devices.
SQL has a nice data type named: "Geography" which can store a location and do calculations on it with queries. Such as proximity and distance which is what we need.
But then it turns out that EntityFramework Core does not have support for the Spatial data types. even though version 6 did have Spatial support.
Then i found the following issue on GitHub: https://github.com/aspnet/...
Turns out this feature has been requested since 2014 and is even on the "High-priority" list and is still not implemented to this day. Even though in the issue many people are asking to have this implemented.
WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG MICROSOFT!!
So now i have to figure out how to work around this. But that is an issue for tomorrow.1 -
why the fucking fuck no one, no one explains their problem
It's just the same every fucking time, 'It is not working'
How the fuck'd I know why it's not working.5 -
One thing I learned early on was...
"If the bug is not where you are looking...look somewhere else."
I just spent 2 hours looking at 50 lines of code pulling my hair out why it wasn't working. Guess what...those lines were correct. The bug was somewhere else.4 -
Why won't you just approve my PR???
Whats wrong with you?!
I don't understand your cryptic one-sentence feedback. I'm not even sure you understand what you're asking yourself.
What the hell does "make it a transaction" mean? Don't give me pseudo-code examples that don't even work fucking asshole!
Its a small change that does NOT need a canary build dammit. Don't go testing the ORM, its a goddamn standard library. Why does working with you make everything so complicated?!?!
The code fucking works! There is no need to make it comply to your specific tastes goddamn it. Working with you is like pulling teeth!
/endrant9 -
I've found a job as a junior developer several months ago, but I really want to find another job...
I know, my knowledge and skills aren't superior yet, but I am tired of that feeling of being useless.. I constantly self-educate myself after work and university, but still, I often need to ask co-workers "where's this form?", "wtf is that", "how do I access this"... Plus, their projects are HUGE, but no matter how big the project is, there are 2 to 4 people working on each at a time. And 1 person may work on 2-3 projects. And we are usually late for deadlines :/
Also code quality is meh..
Me: Why do we implement it here?
Co-worker: oh, we don't actually use it, it's just to hide warnings and pass the test.
Holy shit, wtf, I've spent half day trying to figure out wtf is this and why is it not working :/2 -
If there is anything I hate in life more than XCode is not organizing work!
A feature done few months ago on mobile, tested, passed QA and now it is not working! Why? Because API got screwed!! Why? Because someone is changing the core of the system without notifying anyone!!
Both API and that feature were not touched in months and suddenly stopped working and guess who is blamed, damn right me and the API dev when non of us even made a change -.-3 -
Working as a freelancer I have to hand in a monthly timesheet. I was told to print it out three times and sign them. A photocopied signature would not be acceptable.
After one year I found out that the manager signs one of the sheets, throws the other two away and makes two copies of the signed one.
I asked him why I have to give him three sheets then.
He answered: I don't know either.
Now the fun fact: the next copier is a 2min walk from his office -
tl;dr version: I now hate Windows.
<background>
I installed Ubuntu in dual boot on my PC and I was sceptical.
After one month everything is working perfectly. I'm loving this OS although I still am not an expert, and I doubt I'll ever go back to Windows.
</background>
Now. Today at school we were drawing using a CAD software and, for no reason at all, Windows crashed. This is not a terrible thing, as I usually save often, but this time it also corrupted the file and I had to start from scratch again!
Why Windows, why?4 -
Why apple is a peice of shit..? Why even people love it.. It makes apple to grow more.. Although they don't deserve it.. They don't deserve the trillion dollars.. Why don't they fuck them self..
In a year they release a peice of shit and people are like applauding on it.
Are you fucking serious people?
The people who called as "apple fanboy" please go fuck yourself.. Tell me one reason to love apple..
I am not talking about the price issue. I am talking about they think that they are the best.. But no they are not. They are a bunch of asshole who are working to make money.. They don't need to respect.26 -
You see this fucker? Those are packets sent to Apple, what are those packets? The update of an app I am working on.
Makes me wonder why the fuck does upload disconnect out of a sudden when there is not a single issue in the network I'm connected to!
Apple get your shit together cuz an update process takes more time than developing the damn app!2 -
The hand of IT guy in family
My family sees me as guy who works on IT stuff. The best part is that I will have to help them whenever they encounter problem regarding electronics in daily activities.
Son! The internet is not working
Son! The printer is not working
Son! The TV is not working
Son! My phone didnt get any signals
Son! The microwave is not working
Son! The TV remote is not working
Son! Why is this whatsapp popup always appear whenever I opened it
Son! The dvd player is not working
Son! My phone wont charged
Son! I want to buy online stuff
Son! The email that ur uncle sent me cannot be opened
Son! The email that ur aunt sent me is not there
Son! Can u help me download this travelling app
Son! I opened a website and it told me that I have 163718362 virus!
Son! I forget my password of my facebook account!
Son! Some guy idk on facebook added me as his/her friends, what should i do?
....
Son! The internet is not working (again)
The fact is that, most if these problem, I helped them by just.. restarting the router, reboot the router for 1 min interval, find specific toggler in disfunctional hardware that they accidentally hit during sweeping the floor, take out the power and put it back again, show them how to's in many account/payment mechanism in apps, etc
The very best part that whenever they satisfied, whenever things back to work again, whenever they can reset the password:
"I've tried what you told me, but it just didnt work, but idk when u did it, it works! you are really an IT guy"
And i was like
🙃4 -
So now I’m working with this code that is roughly documented because ”variable names are self-explanatory”.
Yeah, you just forgot that FORTRAN does not support utf-8 variable names...
Why utf-8? Because then if I see:
real :: 座標(3)
I would understand that you mean ”zahyō”, the usual 3D position array ”r(3)”, but no, I need to deal with:
real :: zah(3)
yeah...🙃🔫16 -
Background story:
One of the projects I develop generates advice based on energy usage and a questionare with 300 questions.
Over 400 different variables determine what kind of advice is given. Lots of userinput and over a thousand textblocks that need to show or not.
Rant:
WTF do you want me to do when you tell me. It's not giving the right advice for the lights.
Why the for the love of.. do I need to ask you everytime. If something is not working. Tell me what and for wich user. Don't tell me calculation whatever is not working, I don't know that calculation. Your calculations are maintainable in your cms.
And how, like I really wonder, do you expect me, when not telling me what user is having this problemen to find and fix it, You just want me to random guess one of the thousands users that should be given that specific advice?
FCK, like 80% of my time solving problems is spend trying to figure out wtf your talking about.
And then what a miricale the function is doing exactly what is it doing but you forgot a variable. It's not like the code I write suddenly decides it does not feel like giving the right answer.3 -
This type of post might be good for a weekly rant (if it has not been done yet) "Most Bizarre bug"
So I am working with laravel and vuejs and I use phpstorm as my IDE and today I had the MOST bizarre bug. I'm working on a cryptocurrency website and I'm making a vue component that is going to be a stratum generator for miners and I wanted to make it a component in vue so it can be used anywhere in the site. So I wanted to call the component "StratumGenerator.vue" and i didnt think that this would be an issue. Oh boy was I wrong. So immediately my syntax highlighting did not work nor did emmet autocomplete which is something I can't work without. So i go on for about an hour to fucking figure out how to fix jetbrains vuejs syntax plugins and a very long story short it was because THE FUCKING NAME WAS "StratumGenerator.vue" LITERALLY ANY OTHER NAME WORKS
I've checked its not a blacklisted keyword Stratum and Generator work fine on there own its also not a length thing so right now I have not a fucking clue on why it does not work but i'm glad I figured out.8 -
Situation:
Php not loading oci8 connector for oracle database in windows server, got the all famous and feated oci_connect unknown function error.
Solution:
Check to make sure that the stupid dll is in the extensions folder ---> check
Check to make sure that the extension_dir path is done properly inside php.ini ---> check
Ensure that extension=php_oci8_11g.dll is inside php.ini ---> check
I have no fucking clue why this piece of shit would stop working all out of the sudden and would not fucking work. But here i am yet AGAIN trying to fix something for the fucking web tech department because their fucking lead dev is out.
I
Fucking
HATE
Having to deal with php configurations. Such a fucking pain in the fucking ass man.
FUUUUCKING WOOOOOORK8 -
I actually experienced this today:
"Halp, why is this not working?"
$array = [];
$array->key = 'value';
...a few more...1 -
So I spent the last 2 hours trying to figure out why my co-workers source when hitting the API I built was not working. They kept saying that the problem was the API and I kept saying that it's their implementation.
Turns out it was their implementation and as well as the API. Their implementation problem was not setting the "Accept" in the header. The API problem is how Laravel will return a JSON error response ONLY IF the "Accept" is set in the header.
I actually documented this into the API documentation but it's obvious that none of my co-workers read that you need to set the headers correctly. I think the more scary thing is that they didn't know the difference between Accept and Content-Type!!7 -
!rant - just for the lulz
Immediate thoughts on coming around from general anaesthetic yesterday were:
Why is Ruby not working?
Did I install a new version?
Should I run rbenv rehash?
Then I realised I was in the recovery room 😂 -
I was working on this ER model today and making everything look polished and alligned and then I proceed to generate the PNG out of it, but it turns out blurry and disgusting and eww and why the hell can't I change the dpi or ppi even? 96 dpi is not enough ...4
-
Don't. Especially while you're not a senior specialist. It doesn't really matter bad company or good: they all have something bad, they all have something good. From the bad examples you will learn WHAT, HOW and *WHY* should not be done. From the good examples you will learn what and why works and how efficiently.
Next month I'm gonna be working on a project that is SO bad I will flood DR with rants. But I'm looking forward to it, because I know I will learn what else should not be done.
Better learn from their mistakes than your own2 -
Damn macOS why is there no soundmixer? I can choose: all silent (music and sounds of the app im working on) or not. Why cant i set volunes for differend Programms?
Hear differend5 -
So I'm writing this code, that does 2 important things, that cannot be seperated. I run the code, thing1 is correctly executed, thing2 not. No fucking idea, why this happens. Execute again, same result. Debugg the wohle thing, now everything works fine.
WHAT?
I check the code, there are no background tasks, no paralell processing, nothing that should go wrong.
Asking a Senior developer for help, he also has no fucking idea. He tells me to try to wait one second between the two things. Looking for a delay() or wait() function in my programming language but there is none. Ok, building my own delay, writing a "do 1000 times" loop, calculate some shit in it. Execute the code, it works perfectly.
Nobody has a fucking idea, why this is happening and why this solution is working, but now the code is productive and it works fine.9 -
It seems like I'm going on an assignment to a company working with Angular. Reading through the documentation I just want to ask all Java developers to get their greasy hands out of JavaScript. It feels like GWT all over again with Google reinventing core JS technologies just so that it looks like Java. Dependency injections? Observable wrappers? RxJS in general? WHAT IS THE POINT? Why can't I do this in a way adhering to web standards? Why can't I simply use fetch() or axios or whatever? Why can't you support reactivity without forcing me to write more boilerplate than I had on my central heating boiler? I just want to code and not be forced to discover what Google developers think web should be like.
Please, let me out of this hell.
Fortunately, it's not gonna be a long assignment.3 -
company lands huge enterprise project
promises client to deliver it in MIN_TIME_REQUIRED/4
No architect, no technical lead, no seniors, no designer just juniors and interns in the project.
all the project time wasted by manager making shit decisions and not giving a fuck what devs have to say about how project will be disaster if goes like this.
Now the project is officially under raging fire
Boss to dev : What happend to the project. Why are things not working?
Dev: You made decisions not us.
Boss: I don't buy it. Work 24hrs until this is done.
Dev: F*** you and this project. I am resigning. -
Hey fastlane!
Great tool and all, but your documentation is at 🤡 levels, I need to read 20+ pages to get a full overview and understanding. So far I've had to read a dozen plus blogs and stackoverflow posts to find hidden flows (authentication first to do this, etc. etc. etc.)
Don't market your tool as "reducing complexity & saving time" and showing one-liners in the docs when in reality there are lots of hidden steps and NOT one-liners!!!!!!
This is why everyone complains it takes 1-2 days to just get a freaking pipeline working!!!!🤡 -
THE TYPESCRIPT DEFINITIONS SAGA CONTINUES
> IHateForALiving: so, I don't really know which field we're supposed to use here, but that's your entity I'm working on, so...
> TeamLeader2: wait, what is this? Why does your code have autocomplete?
> IHateForALiving: Every time I worked on some parts of the code I've been writing some type definitions along the way, and it's adding autocomplete if you type hint your code... but I've been told not to write them anymore, so I stopped
> TeamLeader2: But why tho? It's so fucking handy
> IHateForALiving:3 -
Teamviewer is a piece of shit. I use it to connect to my PRIVATELY OWNED server because it's not located on my lan and I have no other way like VPN. Today teamviewer showed me a suspected commercial use and disconnects all connections after 1 minute and blocks connecting to it for 10. I also use it to connect to my synology nas when I'm not home. The teamviewer support is only for paying customers so you can't even contact them. Why the fuck do I have to pay to get something resolved they screwed up? I know I can be glad that teamviewer is offering a free service but when they offer something for free they should at least get their stuff working.12
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Hi my dear fellow coders, I have a small request for you.
If you are among those coders who are working on microchipping people / quantum dot something, tracking people, classifying people, AI, ML or any other such software which is going to harm or cage us or take away our freedom. Please stop doing so.
Why I came out with this rant?
I myself am working on a covid-19 screening app which would rate people based on symptoms and if they seem high risk they would not be allowed to enter unless they do a covid-19 test. I am tracking their movement and the requirement is to restrict people’s movement.
My conscience says that this is incorrect and and I should not be a part of such things which take away the freedom and liberty of people.
I am stopping it now.15 -
So, apparently we need to establish an estimate before I start working on a task.
Why not rather let me get on and do the task, see how many hours it takes and then pay me accordingly?
This is for a freelance gig, just FYI6 -
Fuck! This is why I can't diet.
I can't get shit done, because I keep getting more things to fix. And I'm not talking everyday fixes, this is just plain retarded.
The asshole that my client hired thinks he's a dev. Takes projects that are working and makes small changes. Simply for him to say "I took this project and updated it for our needs."
Then when that shit eventually starts failing, I'm expected to fix it. It's not even that it takes me a long time to fix it. It's just that I'm looking at this thinking "Why are you not working?" Only to later find that, of course, it's been modified. By. Mr. Fucking. Dumbass.
Fuck!4 -
So today I started working on a code base someone else wrote and stubled across this and thought it was worth sharing.
Why somebody would be doing something like this is beyond my understanding.
Not commenting on the empty catch block keep in mind the whole snippet has nothing to do with rest of the code...
WHY!!!!!?!?!?!?!13 -
another windows 10 FORCE UPDATE just messed up my whole system. My mouse is not working properly, every app is become unresponsive within a few minutes, every window is needing life time to load, every folder is needing lifetime to navigate, Android Studio is taking hours to fire up. Why Microsoft!! WHY!!!???20
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Have you ever wondered why !important is even working? Imagine this:
element {
color: #FF0000 !important;
}
It literally means the red color is NOT IMPORTANT. And this overwrites previous CSS rules such as in this example, previous element.color. Like seriously, where is the logic here? :D10 -
Why the fuck is the master almost constantly broken? And not even "some feature I'm working on doesn't work"-broken but "can't build this shit"-broken. What the fuck is the workflow here that it's apparently acceptable? I wasn't able to do SHIT today because of it. Almost whole fucking day wasted.3
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Why for fucks sake can't I motivate myself to finish my thesis?
I mean I guess it is because I already got my third raise in my current (full-time) job because of hard work, which left not much time for side projects (or thesis writing).
On top of that, there is nothing which forces me to finish. My Prof. does not really care. I would probably not earn more because of a higher degree. Only thing is I have to pay the fee for enrolment once a semester.
Also, going back to my thesis project after some time, and having to upgrade all the npm modules in there does not help.
Even though I already have a working backend and proof-of-concept app, something blocks me from finishing all this work.
It is a curse. I would do so many side projects, but I tell myself that I first have to finish my thesis before doing anything else.
It is some kind of loop and I have yet to find the return condition.3 -
Although im starting a job in 2 weeks, i feel depressed already. I know what awaits me and I'll know even more what is yet to come. It's going to be hell. If it was a huge amount of money like 5-6k i would be less depressed. It would solve lots of problems. But its nowhere close to that
Tomorrow morning i have to go and sign the nda and other contracts. I really dont want to. This is not what i had planned. I planned to finish my project by the end of this year asap. Now i have to speedrun and finish the whole project ASAP before i officially start this job
Although im starting a job, i feel like a failure even more than not having a job. How is this possible and why is that? Why do i feel so bad to start working a job?
Knowing already that ill sign a 3 month contract, and knowing that I'll earn exactly $3900 in the next 3 months, is fucking pathetic in this economy13 -
Stackoverflow #1
Me posting question about how to prevent error.
User1: You answered your question. Its because of the error.
Me: I know. And want it gone.
User1: Proposes working yet somehow horrible workaround.
Me: Yes, that works, already did that. But i want to know why it happens.
User: Your question says you want a solution and it is one.
Me: One that doesn't solve the problem.
User2: Just give up. Don't try to find a better one.
Stackoverflow 2:
UserQ: Question how to...?
Me: Use this and that.
UserR: That is not an answer, so i downvoted and requested review.
I don't know a second community that is anti-encouraging like SO. -
Why the heck does every big "giant" wants to promote their own framework? It almost feels like politics of the tech industry. It's not about using the "best", but using "our own". Everyone wants to claim their territory however ridiculously small and unimportant it is. So, I'll have to replace Bootstrap with some framework client designated after completing the project, and see what will be broken.
The good thing about working in an agency is you get to work on such a variety of projects, which can also be the fucking damn thing. Heck I'm not looking to work in an agency for my next job.2 -
How come something works absolutely perfectly in dev but not in prod?
I was making a desktop app in election js and everything is working perfectly. No problem at all. But then I create the installer/distributable and nothing shows on the screen. And out of curiosity, I wanted to see the error log and it shows an unknown error, I didn't even know from what thing the error is being generated. And after I fixed that, another problem came with Asana Api. I mean, if it's a public API, why do you have to block it with cors? I hate cors!
And after all of it, there's more to it. I mean, why can't you just show the errors in dev?4 -
Todo list when you tell someone you are developer:
1. Fix slow computer
2. Remove virus.
3. Help with Microsoft Word
4. Check why printer is not working -
Spent an hour and a half debugging why binders are not working on my Asp.Net project to end up finding out that my controller was missing:
[Route("[controller]")]
attribute at the beginning
Life is wonderful :)2 -
How can so many devs have NO FUCKING CLUE what DNS is or how it works
FFS the amount of times ive had to tell devs to clear their dns cache when the browser tells them right in their fucking face a nxdomain error after deployment of a new test system and they just come screaming in confusion why its not working is entirely too high8 -
We accepted a property listing project for a client.
I have been looking online for references and inspiration regarding design, features, plugins etc.
And this is what I just found. I shit you not. $20 and you get everything. WTF.
May be I will just buy it and give it to my client. $20 and you have like 40 lines of features, if not lied, which are more than enough to meet my client's requirements.
Why the heck am I working?
Am I the one who is charging too high to my client?11 -
Pseudo-flexible working hours suck. I get the "choice" to start work between 7:30-9:30 AM. I'm a night owl so waking up at 6AM is not an option. Why can't they just allow to start at 10AM and finish at 6:30PM? Between 7:30 & 9:30 is peak rush hour and I'm bound to lose 1h30 in traffic for 30km (normally it would take half an hour) and start my workday pissed off.6
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I hate React. I keep reading that people have problem of grasping it, but that's not the case for me. I get it, I understand it, but I hate with passion HOW it's done knowing how nice it's done elsewhere. What really triggers me is how ugly it looks, both from architecture and code level. To me it really say a lot when even code shown in documentation looks ugly, and while reading it you ask ourself constantly "why it's done this way?". When I read React being called an "elegant" solution something explodes in me. Did you saw Svelte? Vue? Damn, even Alpine.js?
I just cannot how overengineered this API is. Even doing simplest things there produces so much junk code written only because this is what library requires. Why? I feel like working with it is a punishment.
And scalability and maintainability? I've never seen large-scale projects more messed up than those wrote with React. And yes, you can blame teams working on them for lack of skills, but it is the library which encourages or not good practices also, and I've never seen such bad situation with other libraries/frameworks.8 -
Learn JavaScript.!!
Everybody talk about functional programming, I was thinking why php json_encode is not working on large array.
Javascript is Awesome.2 -
what the fk how hard can it be to have a working version of the software on the master/ ros-version branch? Why is this thing always broken?! HOW?!
Had to update today unfortunately, and man, I have been "installing" this shit for over 3 hours now. Use the .install they said. It will be fast they said. Ye sure, my ass. The Dependencies are broken and incomplete as always and the tutorial is not up to date. Big suprise. I get it, it's a lot of work to keep these things up to date. But please if they are this broken and incomplete why are they released in the first place.
And then they wonder why I don't manage to do my work on time. Yeah, cause I'm stuck debugging this shit <.<'1 -
I hate Intellij so much ...
* it has the weirdest bugs
* like window focus not working properly,
weird comment/uncomment short (jumps one line down wtf)
* It is slow as hell
* doesn't compile properly (or doesn't give a shit telling me about its actual status).
* Not even the build log is working properly. Why can I hide WARNs but no INFOs?? WTF
* Panels are all over the place and keep coming back, regardless how often I close them ....
ARG ARG ARG, *smashing face on the keyboard*
and the worst ... even though I have the F***ING ULTIMATE version, it constantly nags me about BUYING THE F***NG ULTIMATE VERSION AAAAAARG12 -
When your up against a session issue and can't fucking work out why the session is lost, not one instance of the logout functionality is called and yet... the fucking thing decides to log you out anyway.
Now this was working all fine and dandy last week, and NOTHING has changed, as in not 1 fucking line of code for this process has been touched in 4 years.
It's like all of a sudden, Satan crawled out of this piece of shit site and decided I was to be toyed with.
As you can imagine, I'm a little pissed at this one, there's something hiding in the shadows fucking me in the ass.2 -
When you have to debug a system made by a freelance agency that only had to get it working and not maintain and support it, leaves you with that feeling;
Their stack: https://m.xkcd.com/1636/
Their tool chain: https://m.xkcd.com/1579/
The actual resulting code: https://m.xkcd.com/1185/
And nobody can see why performance is suffering — it's all so simple and beautiful...undefined front end web dev tools stack wars my stack is bigger than yours tooling other people suck -
Being a full stack developer has been an amazing journey. Looking at a project and understanding how the entire stack work starting from the mobile apps, APIs and DB is a total bless.
Nevertheless, lately switching context between modern languages has been extremely frustrating.
Swift looks like kotlin, elixir looks like ruby. Hell even swift and ruby are very similar.
Writing ruby in Xcode and wondering why the fuck Xcode complaining. Well no shit, swift is not ruby. Took me 5 mins of head scratching to notice it 😢
Hell I am now writing down the latest language I am working with on my hand to keep track 😂5 -
FFFUUUUCCCCCKKKKKIIIINNNNGGGG GGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.......
Spent 2 days trying to figure out why the template app didn't work, debugging and commenting out code....
The solution was somehow the XML elements need to be flipped... AKA... the template ***written by a Google monkey*** is WRONG!!!!
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...6 -
Boss says: Why is our email not working get it to work again.
Me: What the fuck? Only because I am the computer guy does not mean I can make wine out of water. -
That moment when you have hundreds of lines of code for your website, then you wanted to add a simple modal which looks great on w3school.
Then you recreate the modal on your site, click the button and nothing happens....
So now, you are spending hours trying to figure out why it's not working, new file to test, tried another modal concept, change the CSS, refresh the page until the F5 button doesn't even work anymore!!!
To find out, there is a extra "." in the href file tag plus the tag is in a id not a class -
I am embrassed.. :(
Situation was..
It was 3-4 months ago I written the process but now client was saying it is not working so I just need to update value in array..
I spent 2-3 hours everything was good..
only in the statement where I am assigning the value is not working.
I was like dude wtf call your senior why its not working .. everything is correct.. then suddenly my eyes catch the rubbish thing I did..
this is what I used mistakenly for assignment "=="
:( and I was looking at statement from 1-2 hour.. it just wasted my time4 -
New day, new rant, same shit.
So basically, if you are following my rants you already know I'm working with a crappy framework forgotten by God and you should even be aware my manager is not an IT expert.
So anyway, we have this requirement to implement: a step-by-step process.
They asked us to make the UI design.
My big ass manager couldn't hold his expertise so basically he told us he would make the UI design.
He is a self-entitled UX designer, just saying.
I still don't know who he is, why he is there and why he is doing all this damage. (I only know he is a friend's ceo )
Today I got his UI mockup. It's a fucking nightmare. xD I mean, you would shoot yourself in the foot. If I was the customer I'd just leave the page. You may ask yourself: "How bad a UX process can be designed?" Well, a lot.
The interaction on the page is a clusterfuck.
I'd give you an example but it's so complex to describe I'm just leaving this rant as it this.
I'm implementing this... I'd like to say sorry to all our customers, it's not the devs fault.4 -
!rant (kinda)
So I'm currently working on a personal project, where the concept is something, that if I wanted to, I could probably make a decent penny off of it.
The plan is to make it open source, and not charge anything for it, and when I tell this to non-dev people, they're almost shocked! Why would I not take an opportunity to make a lot of money!?
Well basically I think it's awesome to have open-source software, and I really want to "contribute to the society". And only after like 10 minutes, people start understanding my point, to just help people make something new, instead of being a greedy person, and keep it private, making it unavailable for a lot of people.
Hopefully I'm not the only one with this mindset?5 -
Working on something...
-Hun?! Why the hell doesn't it work?
Attempt a few fixes...
-Still doesn't work? Damn what am i doing wrong?
Attempt other changes...
-Why is it still not working!?
Debug step by step, validate my values are fine...
-Why does my output not correspond to my values!?! What the hell is this black magic!?
Rebuild the same solution for the 5th time...
-...Why does it work now... -
I'm sure this has been ranted about before because I can hardly be the only one.
Android development and the upgrade dance.
Things were worse in the bad old days of eclipse but it's not like they're peachy now, either. Android is one of many platforms I'm developing for - c++ back-end, running on lots of different platforms through a thin bit of platform specific glue.
That's all I care about - that this thin bit of glue just works. I want to write this stuff, forget about it and get on with solving what I feel are real problems, for me, in my code.
The trouble is, I'm never finished writing this and android is one of the worst. With every revision change, google changes *something*. New build system? Why not, you indie developers have *loads* of time and resources to waste on that, don't you? Some weird thing just stops working for no apparent reason? You guys love to drop whatever it was you were working on to figure out what the hell ' android.app.Instrumentation' does and why it can't talk to my main class any more, or why I even need it but nothing in that error message about what I might do to fix this arcane random error.
Google have all the resources in the world, I do not. Yet I have to dance for them, every time I upgrade.
Can you guys please funnel some of your practically infinite resources in to making this stuff 'just work'? -
Why on earth I am doing docs and sending them to the whole team, if they keep asking me how to do X and why is Y not working
YOU WILL KNOW IF YOU READ THE DOCS
GAAAAAAA2 -
FUCK YOU PYTHON. Why you do that to me, uh?
I was using a CNN to classify hand poses and the prediction was not working at all, one class was given 100% all the time. After much investigation, I found the culprit... A FUCKING INDENT was messing my data. Normalization was inside the loop and not outside, so my pixel values were wayyyyy too small...
Also, I'm really dumb, I should have started with making sure everything was right before trying to fiddle with my architecture..
Anyway, it is working now, you can it out here if you want! https://github.com/MrEliptik/...13 -
So I got the LSTM working in keras.
Working from a glorified tutorial.
Why the fuck do people let their github pages go down with no other backup?
Especially if its a link in your blog?
Why would you do that and not post the full script (instead of bits and pieces interspersed with *partial* explanations)?
In any case, its working and training on a test set and examples just to debug my own understanding of the process.
Once thats done I can generate some training data and try training on a small set. If that goes smoothly and the loss looks like it is heading in the right direction, then I'll setup the hardware for the private cloud and start writing the parallel computing component.2 -
Returning back to the C# with NET Core was a mistake.
Currently working on a simple web project and I'm already stuck with the simplest problem: cannot connect to the local PostgreSQL instance.
"Cannot resolve host", bull-fucking-shit, localhost is not resolvable, 127.0.0.1 is not resolvable.
Better enough, tried to run Dns.GetHostEntry (which failed from the stack trace) on same localhost and... It's working... Why it's not working on the fucking Npgsql, why it's not working in the lib.
Now I totally understand that I don't get Microsoft's way of solving problems.13 -
For the first time in a very long time, I am out of a software engineering job. I have no idea why I am handling this so well. I literally have no idea if I will get another job or not but for this month, I am working on myself and learning more on FP which is really fun btw. Is this maturity?9
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Why the fuck does Android's SyncAdapter stop working without ANY notice since API level 26 when available storage is low?
They fucking deprecated the system-wide broadcast that the storage is getting too full to properly work. And there's no replacement!!! 😠 No callback. No exception. Nothing. You ask the SyncAdapter to sync and it will just not do it until some storage is freed.... 😭 -
Had a task of service discovery, went through following phases:
1. UDP broadcast
2. Wait why not Bonjour?
3. JmDNS for desktop works great
4. Android NSD on Lollipop, this is easy
5. Kitkat WTF..!! Why did you put it there when it's so buggy.
6. Replaced Android NSD with JmDNS and it's great
7. Network switching on Android... done
8. Wait how are others doing it.. JmmDNS.. awesome.. fuck not working...
9. Read mDNSJava is much faster... replace JmDNS.. why haven't they uploaded parent pom on repo
10. mDNSJava freezing my Android device... revert to JmDNS
11. Let's see if it works with Wifi Direct.... Come on why aren't you working...
12. UDP broadcast it is 😢2 -
Why must coming up with ideas be so fucking difficult, trying to work out names for variables and working out a file structure that makes sense for the SDK I'm working on is literally the only thing holding me back at this stage...
Ugh being a perfectionist and programmer is not a good mix .-.
EDIT: also just remembered of 2 YouTube series I want to make but can't think of a title so I haven't done them... Fantastic1 -
Hey, I have a cool idea about a new way to solve a problem our users are having!
Type type type, now I have a working prototype! Show it to the team, everyone loves it. Polish it a little, it works really great!
Now let's test it on an iPad like the ones our users have... Nope, nothing works, undefined is not a function.
F*CK YOU SAFARI, you're why we can't have nice things. 😤 -
So, started working in a nodejs/react personal project with an old friend. I code in linux mint, my pal always at windows 7 never worked in something different from php. From the very beginning I advised him to move to linux
Me: hey man, the backend is running now, pull the changes and `npm start`
Friend: ok so I need to install dependencies right?
Me: yup, easy peasy lemon squeezy
So after a brief(one week period) until my friend could install visual studio to get some deps installed
Friend: hey I ran `npm start`, it got stuck. backend does not start at all, no output messages, no error, no nothing
Me: FFS, that's why I told you from the start, "use any linux distro for this project" :(
Then for a couple of hours(4) trying to install a distro in his 7 years old laptop...
Me: Ok, let's call it a day, 7 tries to install this thing in your old machine is enough. did you not realize your HDD was really busted? in your 7 years with your laptop? this is BS that's why I could not install linux :|
Friend: I didn't, windows never showed me any problem, maybe windows is better than linux in that matter.
Me: GTFO6 -
Who the fuck thought "hey! Safari on iOS would be a great idea!"? Decidedly that cuntfuck thought integrating the worst browser on shitty devices everyone faps to was *the* idea of the century.
No Mac? Go fuck yourself in the ass if you want to debug that shit with any device that has the fucking Apple logo. Prolapse™ by ProlApple, or Applapse rather.
My problem? I'm compiling typescript to straight fucking ES5 JS, why the fuck isn't it fucking working on iOS 10.2/3?! Is it still running ES1 Pre-Alpha RC-0.2.7 ?!! Even internet explorer is working...
Gah.
(Not meant to offend anyone, just expressing some frustration) -
Why is it so fucking difficult for mobile OSs (Android/iOS) to revert to mobile data when the WiFi is clearly not working? It’s so annoying when my phone connects to some AP 10 fucking nautical miles away and tries desperately to get a connection to the internet when I have a data plan that works just fine. The solution would be so fucking simple: before the phone switches to WiFi connection it should simply probe the internet. Login required? Ask me if I want to proceed before showing me the fucking login portal. No response at all? Then don’t even bother going any further with it.5
-
My first dev job :
Do a front-end in Joomla!. As an internship. Without being paid.
(In France, if you are here for >2 months, they can pay you, or not.)
At least, now I know why Joomla is a no-no when you want to do custom things. Heard that the team working on back-end had problems of PHP, like the PHP appearing and the one Joomla uses "is not the same" or something like this.
And now you know if you didn't. No problem.4 -
As some of you might know I am currently working in a QA Team.
One of my "colleagues" asked me to help him with the automation of a simple page.
The tool we are using could not determine if a checkbox on a mask was checked or not so he decided to open a BUG!
This is not a bug the page is working fine (the checkmark is visible and the server handles the data correctly)!!
When I asked him why he opened the bug he said "Because I want the developer to make that easier for me!!!"
WTF This is your job! JUST GET IT FUCKING DONE!
I work my ass of to close the gap between testers and developers...
BUT IF I SEE THINGS LIKE THAT I UNDERSTAND EVERY DEV WHO WANTS TO PUNCH HIM INTO HIS FACE! -
Well it's nothing I wrote myself but I don't know why it exists.
I currently work on a reasonably big LaTeX (markup/typesetting) project.
For what ever reason someone had the glorious idea to build a Compiler in Java to compile the LaTeX sources to PDF, so far so good.
The problem is that
1. Most people working on that project either use an editor with its own compiling functionality or
2. use the shell script in the same fucking directory
Of course the Compiler is also slower than both of the above and tends to crash.
Well at least it's not my time which went into there. -
I have never understood people ranting about how Linux is incompatible with their machines. Back in 2006 what ever machine I had tried Linux on was working better with it. More than that all the drivers were working out of the box and the only problem that could possibly happen was with graphics.
FF 10 years. I am using MacBook for some time now and I did no installation of Linux for couple of years now except on bare metal servers. And have just bought my sister a new hp envy. Nothing fucking works. Not even wifi. Installation is hanging and I do not fucking know why! Her previous computer had problems with wifi. If wifi is turned on you could not turn the fucking pc off. It would fucking freeze.
Well fuck my life :(9 -
quote when asking what cleints budget is for a job....
"ah yeh hence the when your ready but it wont be paid at the start but should it pick up the will be some form of payment avalible to you"
needless to say this is the same client who is the original meeting states "wait so why is this costing me loads for a custom website can we not give me the rates for if this is a project im working in the side"
well only if im allowed to treat it as something that wont get done.2 -
!ran Why cant companies work with employees over skype and other software instead of everybody having to physically go to a workplace?
Wouldn't it be more convinient to just connect over such softwares, and share code over github and stuff?
Or what is the reason that companies want to have their employees in a building?
No workplace = less money spent?
I'm not in a job yet and have no experience out of highschool working else where.
I'm just curious on what your opinions are.6 -
I'm in love with Webpack but jeeeeeesus when it breaks in obscure ways maaaaan
Like, I got it working earlier, no errors, everything looks great... aaaaand website is blank. No page, no source, not even anything in the console, just blank. Over an hour later... turns out removing the output target fixes it. Why? No idea. Nothing.2 -
Lately I take work literally seriously, not due to motivation but due to fear, more on that later, but this is what I think about lately while I'm working
> that line of code should fix it
> oh shit I should've checked logs
> let me check logs
> let me put 10 breakpoints in code and javascript in chrome
> why is this bug not reproducing?
> why I have to work on someone else's spaghetti code?
> this loop iterates over all customers' data I'll just step over it, Oh fuck I resumed
etc etc
I'm feared because where I live, isn't a good place for software developers as there aren't companies which hire, those who hire need ninja developers who complete 1 JIRA Sprint/Phase in 1 day, Here I feel safe as there are people to correct me plus coffee machine -
!(pure)dev
This might sound like generalisation but the amount of paper people in France (atleast Paris) waste uneccesarily is shocking. It disturbs me to see some jackass printing pages after pages of garbage in the office each time they want to check if a printer is working as expected. Or the professors using huge white sheets to explain shit when the white board is right fucking behind them (to add to it, they use only one side of the sheet). Or literally every single store handing out paper receipts for a 1€ chocolate I buy. Why isn't their a digital alternative? Why are people so not bothered about how much they're fucking the planet just coz they have enough resources to live happily?
If machines ever overthrow humanity, I'm sure they'll do a better job in tidying up everything.4 -
Joined a new workplace. Lead wants me to research on the available list of certain frameworks.
But they have already built a couple of services using certain frameworks and they don't seem to be having any issues with them.
I asked why look for new ones when you already have stuff that work for you and they're like "It's working - is not a reason to not look for new ones".
I mean WTF? Isn't "Don't try to fix things that are not broken" literally the point?4 -
I am working on an AoK bot. It worked before but now it fails on me. It says: {'success': False, 'error': 'Invalid comment.'}
I don't know why.
This is the comment: "@retoor debugsemiss everything and nave the and resorts they're not paying much to clean a fucking roomic lolg creating of my phoprooting such is the quoting this kidle... Noh ot inuforian times fined the apposivy suistlondlan't by imprymarbygind. Metwary nate ?"
Call method:
```
async def post_comment(self, rant_id, text):
payload = dict(
rant_id=rant_id,
comment=text
)
payload.update(self.auth_params)
async with self.session.post(f'/api/devrant/rants/{rant_id}/comments',data=payload, params=self.auth_params) as resp:
print(await resp.json())
```
Someone has an idea why it's failing? Also tried it with hardcored rant_id and message.23 -
My company never used unit tests. And i would love to educate but i do not know how to unit test properly. I always en up with: if i want to properly test all ins and outs of this class's + operator. I need to add checks for positive number, negative numbers, nan, infinites, nulls etc. Etc. It needs so many tests for something so stupidly simple, that i don't see a way to motivate people to use it.
Am i missing something? Is there a guideline for "ok coverage"? Is testing just that much work and is that why nobody cares until it is too late?
I have been reading a book about working with legacy code. But still i got no answers. Halp!7 -
My team is the meme of the coding dinosaurs.... they think git basics like working in a branch and doing pr's and not commit directly to master is a "theory", they use old and unknown shit for everything and even when said shit has a better way of doing something they just choose the worst one. At the moment they have me changing all the files in multiple apps from tab indentation to spaces because this generates a code coverage issue on sonar instead of just deactivating that check... why the fuck did I take this job whyyyyyy2
-
Yesterday I spent my whole fucking day solving a bug from a Drupal multistep form, the kind of bugs you know it worked for a year then suddenly start to go full retard and simply not working at all
Took me half a day to get how it worked, half the rest to get why it stopped working and how to to make it work again, knowing that the "old fashion way" can't be applied anymore for dumb reasons (unless the client wants his user and payment history tables to be dropped, which I doubt)
I don't know if my solution is the best, but it works without too much tweaks, and hey, it still works today!! -
When I created stubmatic (a http mock application), we were using it in our internal project. First time when some other project expressed their interest, I was happy and eager to help.
So the person they sent for the training asked me his first question: "I followed all the steps, but It is not working"
I quickly checked his code and replied "you're using GET instead of POST method"
Then his second and last question about stubmatic was "why don't your code understand which method has to be used? Why should a client need to tell every time?"
Ummm... silence -
FUCK MY LIFE WHY CANT A RASPI BOOT FROM USB??! I'VE BEEN WORKING ON A PROJECT FOR IT FOR THE LAST WEEK, SPENT NIGHTS LEARNING ELECTRONIC BASICS AND GUESS WHAT? THAT FUCKING RASPIAN ON MY MICRO SD CARD IS NOT BOOTING. AND I CANT REINSTALL IT BECAUSE I HAVENT GOT AN FUCKING ADAPTER FOR THIS SHIT. I HAVENT BEEN USING A MICRO SD FOR YEARS.
AND NOW I CANT TEST MY PROGRAM BECAUSE I NEED THE RASPIS GPIO PINS :(6 -
Project Lead in the morning: This one story needs to be finished till 2pm for the QA department.
Me: No problem, everything is finished and there is only one test case open. It should be finished in no time.
Also me: Spends 7 hours of intensive lagacy code debugging to find out why this shit isn't working sometimes. Try to fix it, broke some other things. Retested all cases and found 3 other minor bugs. End of the day, story is still not finished.
Now: Project Lead is mad, QA guy is mad, I am mad.
Conclusion: I hate debugging legacy code and I never again trust the last open test case!!2 -
New to working with git in a large scale application. I've used it in personal things, but not at an enterprise scale.
"genius" me: git pull origin {{dev branch name}}
"genius" me: why won't any of these tests work?
"genius" me: spends 2 hours working on fixing some tests
actual genius that I work with: Dude, revert that shit and pull from master, the tests will work. Don't pull from {{dev branch name}} because you have no idead what might be there.
This makes sense. Things are started and abandoned in favor of new priorities all the time. At least my PM is pretty cool and didn't freak out that I wasted that couple of hours like at a previous position.
Also, git is far superior to mstfs. Very smooth and easy to use once you get the hang of it.4 -
node.selected = false //Node becomes selected
Why? It is a valid question so I was trying to resolve a bug in one of our components that uses a TreeList of DevExpress and on the event AfterNodeFocus we raise an event to update the current object selection by putting the node selection to true and updating other values as well.
Well it seems that every thing is OK so why the fuck is this thing not working????
After 30 minutes into the problem realized that the event SelectionChanged is raise in the end of the AfterNodeFocus. Then realized that the event was running twice. One when I was setting the node.selection = true and after the event AfterNodeFocus but the list of selections were different. So what I discovered is the event SelectionChanged raised after AfterNodeFocus is using node.selection = !node.selection.
So how do I fixed it?
Before finishing AfterNodeFocus I set the selection of the node to false and voila the selection of items works now.
Well after 5 hours into the problem lets try another thing.3 -
So for the past month I've been working on a new website for my department, it looks beautiful has a custom CMS and is all around great (not to tout my own horn or anything). Now my boss has taken it to the marketing department to get a final approval and they responded saying that a lot of departments are complaining about not being able to maintain their pages and how terrible the current ones look. They want to create WP sites for all the department's and make us maintain them. I know why I hate WordPress but they can't understand what's so bad about it. How do I convince them my custom solution is better than the monstrosity of WordPress?2
-
Working on a new release. This release was tested locally and pronounced good. The release went to the QA environment. QA responds that a new feature is doing nothing. There are no errors reported, and work is being done on the UI, but is not get getting persisted to the database so all changes are lost when the session is lost. Do some investigating. I find that a web service had the code in two of its methods commented out. Why? No idea. No response yet from the developer who just had the two methods return a boolean denoting success while all other operations were commented out.
I need an appropriate punishment for this...3 -
Well one of my clients called me yesterday and say his Windows is not working properly. I asked what did hi do and the answer was:
- Windows say that there is no more space left on drive C: so I moved the Users folder to D:. I thought it should work fine.
Seriously!? Why are you touching system folders!? You should move Win32 folder to D:. Or format drive C:. What's wrong with you man?1 -
Has anyone else installed Ubuntu 18.04 and have their themes not working (I'm using arc thenes), and the top bar menu options like file, edit, etc not appearing? I can't find fixes.
AND WHY IS 18.04 SLOWER WITH GNOME?!
This better all be fixed by the final release. Also by slower, I mean animations, opening certain apps, like wth.6 -
My team still use console.log for debuging instead of breakpoints, I don't really care about it when the code in development, but I really hate it when it goes to production.
I search in the project and found total 231 of console.log with allow console rules above it, I mean why don't you just delete it after the code is working, it's not that hard rather than to delete all console before goes to prod.6 -
Demo of a feature had to be canceled just minutes before the meeting. Entire environment is hosed and don’t know why. Also, the feature to be demonstrated turned out to not be working before the environment stopped working, so we now have more time to shift to another solution. Win?
-
Why is it always so exhausting to communucate with clients?
It's been 11 fkin days since I started working on one really simple project, but it's still not done because client can't respond within 1 day...1 -
Ah yes back from school, back into trying to get Arquillian to work. After trying to build on Jenkins (just for a test if they fixed some of the Problems) suddenly it wont even build properly, because they removed the datasource that my Arquillian tests were running on. Great. Not only are my tests not working now, but the whole fucking thing won't build and trying to get a datasource into the Arquillian Container is a pain the ass.
I've set it up according to multiple tutorials. But it always tries to read a non existant datasource... Why, why, why the fuck do I have to do this shit. I fucking hate everything related to JBoss. It... never... works. -
Dealing with clients is probably the biggest personal challenge. I'm not much of a people person, and I find it hard to converse with friends and people I've known for years, let alone clients who are looking for answers for why things aren't working, and wanting you to explain exactly (but in simple terms) why a thing that seems simple is so complicated.
Another challenge, which is somewhat related is expressing myself. This again, stems from not being super great or comfortable in conversations, but as a dev, even among other devs, your opinion on things gets asked a lot. For someone who was used to sticking with the status quo and mostly agreeing with things, stuff like peer code reviews, or giving pointers on how to implement something is a big challenge (but I'm improving)2 -
I dont understand how am i not fired. I literally dont know how to do shit in this legacy 30 year old junkyard code. I am literally alone working on this project on a giant codebase and have no one for help. The project is burning on fire and scrum master is talking shit for breaking deadlines and i cant do anything about it. Why dont they just fucking fire me that would be such a huge relief bro40
-
When I get stuck or don't understand why something is not working the way I think it should, I like to walk my self through the code and explain it out loud to myself.1
-
I hate weekly demos. Why not wait until something is done and ready to show, and then schedule a show an tell?
Otherwise you're just racing around to get some half-ass, not working rubbish in to make things look good. Yet it probably doesn't work at all, and is filled with technical debt that will make it to production.4 -
Why is it that I'm some able to get things working only after I make a guess complaining to technical support about how it's not working...
And it seems no one else has raised the issue.2 -
I'm starting to get sick of working with handed over projects that previous devs think they are masters of programming and their code is nothing but pure chaos ....
I'm given a project written in Java & Swift, API class is initiated a million times in same view, has access to android context, custom font is applied by creating custom text view instead of applying customization in styles file ....
Still haven't yet looked into iOS code but I'm not expecting much ...
Sometimes I wonder why I chose working with code4 -
I hate working with sh*tty Devs
I used that term specifically.. No it's not about juniors, it's about those who pretend to be seniors.
In a major company project, one of us has to take a week or two to refactor that one "senior" dev work. When tested it performs poorly, when checked, it violates every SE principle and the business people are wondering why we keep seeing `refactoring User Stories/Tasks` and why we still don't have a working project yet. Yes, we will never have, that mess that `senior` dev created is almost impossible to refactor without major rework.
Now, major rework coming, we need to give something to that Senior so he doesn't feel left behind. Argue to never let him get anything in core or this company will go under...
In short, I hate working with sh*tty devs.1 -
Few months ago we move into a new Building, Company buys new Polycoms for 2 of the boardrooms - fancy ones with the Skype for Business and stuff.
Provision the boardroom accounts get them set up and all is working well.
Director asks if we can swap 2 boardroom phones around because their dept. just got a remote user and video calling would be awesome.
I set to work changing sign in details, provisioning accounts, assigning licenses, etc which is a long process because 365 needs to update throughout.
Finally get everything right, time to login... Failed...
Login fails on the Polycom, my laptop & an android tab - all 3 with different errors.
Decide to test account by logging into the web version in OWA - logs in perfectly.
Why Microsoft?? Why must you make it so hard? Why not just work?2 -
It's too early to be asking these questions today:
Are your DB schema changes checked into source control?
What branch are they checked into?
Why are the schema changes checked into one branch, but deployed to a completely different database?
Is my CI pipeline deploying incorrectly? Oh, you manually deployed changes.
Are your DB changes in source control an accurate reflection of what you actually put in the staging database?
Why not?
Can I just cherry-pick update my schema with your changes from the staging database?
Why is there a typo in your field name?
Oh. Why is there a typo in the customer data set? Don't they know how to spell that word?
Why is the fucking staging database schema missing three critical tables?
Is the coffee ready? I need coffee.
Why is the coffee not ready yet?
What's going on in DevRant this morning?
What project am I working on now anyway?
Did my schema update finish yet?
Yup, it finished. Crap. Where the hell do I keep those backup files?
What's the command line to restore the file again?
Why doesn't our CLI tool support automated database restores?
I can fix that. What branch name should I check the CLI tool into?
What project was I working on this morning again?1 -
A medical doctor gets fired for clearing a football player to play for not having an injury.
What does that do to the intellectual ecosystem?
These people go to college on full scholarships…to throw balls around?
I mean it sounds very silly when its put that way, but the initiation and training of a doctor is not a joke.
Why is this money being spent on football players?
I think operating tables should be televised, with announcers, and pundits, and star surgeons,
A person placing bets would need a working knowledge of the operating table if they are going to be placing bets.
We are smarter than this as people. Sports should not be just hulking drones throwing balls around.5 -
What the actual fuck is MSDN doing? I'm struggling for a whole goddamn month to make a WCF service used for only authenticating users. MSDN has around 4 different tutorials on this, from which one has a project to download, but the fucking link is not working, another one lacks basic information about the problem, and the rest of them are just a mess of links to solutions working when you are using a ASP web page. In the end, I'll probably find a single unmentioned issue, and it will work, but seriously, why the flaming fuck would you put solutions so broken, that even when copy pasting it it doesn't work at all?
-
When you 3D touch too hard wondering why it's not working. Now iPhone screen is cracked. Oh my bundle id was a typo? Fuck me!
-
Technology will be the end of human liberty.
“{9} The post-totalitarian system touches people at every step, but it does so with its ideological gloves on. This is why life in the system is so thoroughly permeated with hypocrisy and lies: government by bureaucracy is called popular government; the working class is enslaved in the name of the working class; … Because the regime is captive to its own lies, it must falsify everything. It falsifies the past. It falsifies the present, and it falsifies the future. It falsifies statistics. …
{10} Individuals need not believe all these mystifications, but they must behave as though they did, or they must at least tolerate them in silence, or get along well with those who work with them. For this reason, however, they must live within a lie. They need not accept the lie. It is enough for them to have accepted their life with it and in it. For by this very fact, individuals confirm the system, fulfill the system, make the system, are the system. . . . .”
https://theamericansun.com/2018/12/...10 -
on a pleasant note,
Seriously, fuck myPhpAdmin. Fuck c9 and fuck MySql. My connection is solid i can do mini crap. my ajax call is good too. so idk why.
Ive spent over a week on a bug and now “occasionally working” is the best I can get and im not even sure why.
This assignment is due today.
I cant even try to do it locally cause for some reason myphpadmin and mysql dont wanna work on my laptop so yay fuck me.4 -
So we had a requirement to build some email templates and the guy who was working on that was unable to make some good one.
And I build kinda one and ........... They liked it.
(I'm not good at frontend things and they still liked it lol)
And now they are flooding me with loads of templates to make, and I must say building RESPONSIVE email templates is a fucking pain in the ass and takes a huge amount of time if you're new and your client has provided complex designs with shit loads of fonts which are not supported by half of the inboxes. Maybe I'm not familiar with it that's why.2 -
Background: I am working on task x. On successful completion of task x, task y may be given to me. Task x is haaaaaard. My group is not the only player and any fuck up will break my group and at least two others. Now here is my story:
Me: Yeah I am doing this hard thing and that hard thing and getting ready for these hard meetings.
FormerCoWorker fcw (): wow that sounds hard.
CurrentCoWorker ccw (): yeah he's working on task x and task you.
Me me (): what? No I'm not. I am working on task x. Don't go randomly assigning me tasks like that.
ccw: well if you finish task x you will be an expert in section z of code. So it is only natural you take on task you.
me: yeah but task x sucks and task y is why several engineers have quit the company. You never know. You could be assigned task y and quit. Why do I have to take on task y and quit?
NGL, I will do it of they promote me. I may be a whore, but I am gonna get paid. -
After couiple of hours (Yes, apprently it's insane how hard is to add a new NIC to a linux machine and make it start on boot), I finally got my connexion working !
Story :
Server has original MB 1Gbits card. Internet connexion is 1.1 Gbps. So 1Gb card only picked at 940 Mbits download
I bought a 2.5 Gb card (new nic)
Pluged it in : Nothing
Couple of ifconfig -a etc, bring device UP : Yeah working !
Reboot : Nothing
/etc/interfaces : nothing
And why it's not eth0 and eth1 etc as before but some thing cryptic like enp3s0.
Well, at least now everything working (Apperently there is a new "network plan" config file in yaml... what a waste, DO FUCKING JSON YOU RETARDS)
Ping is awsome tho ! Same cable on windows Machine, I get 5 ms.4 -
I cringe every time I see someone joke about a new "framework" coming out every other day.
This is a serious problem, guys! Instead of piling up crappy, undocumented "frameworks", why not go to one that works well, and improve it.
It's a lot easier to learn how to design and develop when you're working with others who have been at it a lot longer than you.1 -
So this is the most idiotic thing I have ever done!
Was resolving an issue in a module in our application on "Test" Instance, instead of uploading file to "Test" I was uploading to "Dev" and I was wondering for the last 2 hours why the hell changes are not working!!!
I need a break, Thank god its half day today... its a rest day now 🙈2 -
Why is it that windows 10's network adapter takes so fucking long in order to work and connect to the internet!!
Does anyone know a way to trace back what's causing it? And why it takes like full 15 minutes for the Ethernet or wifi drivers to even work? (I'm not even sure if this is something with the drivers or the way windows's network adapter way of working)
I couldn't find Jack shit on the internet (most of them are ghetto do this and that and hope it works) I want something more advanced so I can figure out for once why this happens on numerous windows computers
(Linux people, I understand you, please don't rant your stuff here, this is a bit serious issue, thx)6 -
Hello all (App devs) I have finalized all APIs and here is the postman collection for you. I have been working on the chat page so excuse me for my delay but I finished all the system all that is remaining is the chat. I will be working on it tonight.
Please let me know if there is anything wrong.
Dev 1: thank you will see then asap.
Dev 2: why do u want to make me lost we said u deliver the chat first and then we move forward with the app.
Me: well I had some difficulties with the chat so I finalized all else and u can fix those while I fix the chat
Dev 2: no this is not what we agreed on. This is propostrous. I will not do anything anymore. I need the chat to finale x y and z.
Me: dude the chat has nothing to do with x y and z u can finalize those and then fix the chat!
Dev 2: no I don't understand this is not right.
Me: dude I built the backend I know what u need for x y z. Anyway why all the blame and the destructive approach?
Dev 2 don't think we r kids we r not kids .. (bullshit talk)...
This is the scenario that happens Everytime a pussy of a Dev is late and is ignorant of their job and all about blame it on the weakest point.
Therefore guess what's drafted ?!
MY RESIGNATION PAPER!1 -
At the weekend I was having a play around trying to make an AngularJS front end for Wordpress using their API.
I was following a tutorial, and noticed when retrieving post titles they were using .success, which had been deprecated, so switched this to .then. Still not working, and my google GOP was being weak, so I popped over to Stack Overflow.
Turns out that when I changed .success to .then I should have also changed
$scope.post = res;
To
$scope.post = res.data;
Why is always the little things that get missed? -
We are a remote team of two android developers for this startup. I have 3 years of experience and my protege has 1 year of experience.
One month a new guy with 10 years experience joined our team and hes working onsite. He's supposed to be scrum master and be good ad dividing and delegating tasks, but what he's doing past two weeks is appaling to me.
Basically we got a request for a new feature. He skipped discovery and planning steps, went straight to implementation and one week later showed us his implementation.
Note that at that moment my remote team was not informed about anything. He started reinventing a library to capture a picture and video, while there are tons of other well developed libraries out there.
What makes things more difficult is that his english sucks.
I don't understand what he's doing but now it seems that either he's playing office politics and is trying to stay ahead by not informing us so we would be forced to follow his implementation. Or maybe he is totally oblivious and don't have any sprint management experience, so he's just trying his best by working hard and trying to prove his own worth.
Eitherway it sucks that he is not able to communicate specifications from HQ to us, because even I did a better work with planning our sprints by communicating remotely.
So now I started asking him questions and turns out the guy doesn't even understand specification. He already half implemented the feature and can't tell us why we need it and why we are not using what we already have in the app. So now he's back to square one: doing discovery. It's fcking ridiculous.1 -
Fellow developer: "Hey it's Monday our deadline is tomorrow did you get everything working on the Latino site?"
Me: "nope"
Fellow developer: "Why the hell not!?"
Me: "you never gave me access to the Wordpress account that I asked for multiple times."
Fellow developer: "oh my bad."
Me: ..... -
Me (Km) - I develop android applications in my company.
TM - Dumbest technical manager taking care of backend for company products(app).
PM - Product Manager
Incident - PM went to some event to give demo on our App but due to some backend issue there was wrong data for his account. PM reported this TM. And the conversation between Me and TM went like this.
TM : Km app is not working for PM, its not showing anything to him.
Me : Okay let me check...
I logged in with PM credential and checked the logs and i found that there was some error message saying that there was no data. I copy-pasted the error message to TM.
After few minutes (TM added dummy data to PM account)...
TM : Km app is working now, what was the issue for not working previously ?
Yes she asked me like this even though it was related backend issue.
Me : Its backend issue...!
TM : But I did'nt change anything at backend.
Me : Neither I, I did'nt build new APK and uploaded to Crashlytics Beta and he(PM) is not using new build.
I copy-pasted the previous error message again and asked her (TM)
Me : Why was this error message coming ?
TM : There was some wrong data for his account, So i added some dummy data.
Me : (FacePalm) How come its not called as change in Backend.
The worst part is TM still thinks it not a backend issue. -
The count returns 19, my if statement is looking for anything greater than 0. Sitting here wondering why it's not working for 3 damn minutes then I remember this (https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/...)
I can't do $variable.count > 0
I have to do $varibale.count -gt 0
: | I like powershell, it's useful for simple small things in windows
Then things like this make me wish I wasn't on windows for work
Happens every damn time, especially after working with any other language we use, i just forget PowerShell likes to be 'special' -
Me: This ...
Friend: Is not working.
Me: How come it not work?
Friend: You are such a ...
Me: Waste of time. I know.
Friend: Forty minutes is all I'll need to debug this program.
Me: Seconds, Can u do that in Forty seconds.
Friend: Of course not. Why would I?
Me: An idiot teacher wants me to upload it right now.
Friend: Idiot, Is that what u call a teacher.
Please read the first letter of every conversation.10 -
Working for a little SharePoint-Company while studying.
Have to hunt bugs.
Found a major bug which kills one of our customers SharePoint-Site completely because of code pasta.
Told my supervisor about the bug and reported it.
"yeh. we will fix it now"
2h later they started to go live.
"Did you fix the bug?"
"No. Wanted to have the system live asap."
On my way home I got a call.
"We need you back here in the office"
"Why?"
"It crashed. Is not reachable anymore. Help fixing it"
fuck off -
To those working in the US as software engineers, is it worth it? Would you recommend it ? If not, why ? And did you live all your life in the US or are you coming from somewhere else ?2
-
Working on a multi-year college project, going through tests from previous team.
Every test is not working quite right. They're almost all intermittent failures.
The reason? Every single test class extends some test class, which usually extends from some primary test class.
That primary test class opens up their whole UI, and outside of their UI test package, the only thing that gets used is a variable named session (a string), which isn't even specific.
WHY THE FUCK WOULDN'T YOU JUST MAKE THE SESSION NAME STRING A VARIABLE IN THE TEST FILES YOU DUMB FUCKS
THE ARGUMENT VALIDATION TESTS DO NOT NEED TO OPEN THE UI, LET ALONE CREATE THE WHOLE FUCKING DATABASE JUST TO VALIDATE ARGUMENTS, WHICH YOU DO APPLICATION SIDE
(Also they made it so every session has their own tables as opposed to having session IDs. E.g., "person_sessionID1" and "person_sessionID2" exist.) -
So... I've been looking for a week on why my machine was braking tools on every piece...
Found out yesterday, it was machining without water....
Told the engenheir (my direct boss)... Started working at midnight and was the same...
Decided to fix it, besides the fact that I'm a temp and shouldn't be doing his job...
Can't fix it... To many broken pieces....
Well a few metal pipes like straws and some rubber bands and its fixed for now...
I really can't understand why a engenheir gets 10x more money and can't bother to fix the machines....
Well I know why... He's not the one paying for new ones when these brake.
Next: other machine Is working without oil...
And no, I'm not messing with that... In a few months they will just have to buy a new one.4 -
So you need babel to run es6+ on node js because node js can't handle es6 yet. 🤔
Why can't the node guys work with the babel guys to integrate babel with node and save me the extra stress of having to figure out if my es6 code is not working because of a syntax error or because I didn't transpile properly🤷♂️17 -
#Warning really long post incoming and not sure if it can be considered a rant
My first job as a dev started 3 months ago and I noticed something strange/funny.
Here's the story our company is a software development one (we are aprox 300 employees), and most of our projects (70% more or less) are for a huge Insurance company in our country, a somewhat normal situation is that the company sends a dev to work full time at the insurance company for 6 months or a year (that usually is a lie and they spend 3 years or more there).
The funny part is this every Dev that is send there is mocked by everyone or receives condolences from the other devs.
I asked why and they just answered me that working as a dev in a really big company whose line of business isn't necessarily software or something related with technology is not a fun experience1 -
May someone explain to me why it is that we don't collectively just put IE down by simply not supporting it anymore instead of working around it?6
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So we have this intranet at work... The problem with it, is that its developed for IE. Aaaand thats why its not working in chrome! GG devs
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Dashlane password manager is my workflow nemesis. I have dozens of sites to manage and my only way into them is through this buggy and unreliable crap software. So much time is lost having to delete an entry that inexplicably stopped working, then waiting for someone with share permissions to reshare it, only to find that it still isn’t working, another reshare and then it suddenly does work. But then the Chrome extension won’t sync unless I log out and log back in. And then I have multiple entries for the same site with no clear indicator of why nor which one is the real one that actually works.
Can’t get rid of it because the company has standardized on it. Not my decision to make.5 -
I bought a Lenovo laptop in 2022 and after six months laptop's hinge was broken. It was in a warranty period so they replaced the broken parts in a month. Then the keyboard was not working so they replaced it too. After 1 year, windows got corrupted. And now, in 2 years, the hinge is broken twice. I have only one question.
Why the hell do you guys make such weak laptops?6 -
Working on maintenance suck, but that's why most of the software developers do. Stable job and higher pay. Mundane tasks like fix bugs or modify small part of the software.
Working on an idea is interesting in startup. You don't see shit code and code from the ground up. The work is creative. But the pay is low because the company is not profitable.
Which one is your choice?1 -
again xdebug not working and not giving any logs.
How can I at least get logs so that I could know what is wrong with it? I already tried this answer:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...2 -
are you guys facing some issues with some websites ? like google devrant etc not workiny in browser and bing is working spotify is working brew is working.
any clue why so?????? -
Why, yes, please pull me off this ticket *again* so I can be less productive on something I don't know about and you can be annoyed that what I was working on is not finished.
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Why some leaders are afraid of changes. Everything in the world change and adapt to the trend of responsibly remote working. We must count the productivity and not the negative impact of envious people that all they can do is sit down and pretending to be busy. We all know that the first step of success is to accept change.1
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## Learning k8s
Okay, seriously, wtf.. Docker container boots up just fine, but k8s startup from the same image -- fails. After deeper investigation (wasted a few hours and a LOT of patience on this) I've found that k8s is right.. I should not be working.
Apparently when you run an app in ide (IDEA) it creates the ./out/ directory where it stores all the compiled classes and resources. The thing is that if you change your resources in ./src/main/resources -- these changes do NOT reflect in ./out/. You can restart, clean your project -- doesn't matter. Only after you nuke the ./out and restart your app from IDE it will pick up your new resources.
WTF!!!
and THAT's why I was always under an impression that my app's module works well. But it doesn't, not by a tiny rat's ass!
Now the head-scratcher is WHY on Earth does Docker shows me what I want to see rather than acting responsibly and shoving that freaking error to my stdout...
Truth be told I was hoping it's k8s that's misbehaving. Oh well..
Time to get rid od legacy modes' support and jump on proper implementation! So much time wasted.. for nothing :(9 -
Why is customer support sometimes so shitty? A coworker good a Win10 Laptop (Win7 before) and one program wasn;t working there anymore. So we reached out to the support asking to help us fix it. After over a month later and x-amount of E-mails back and forth. The answer was, you have to upgrade everything (Webserver, Database, Client) to use Win10 (no backwards compatibility). Which is fine, I don't mind upgrading and understand that software sometimes is not backwards compatible. BUT THAT IS SOMETHIGN TO STATE IN THE 2nd E-MAIL. Not an infinity later after a tiring back and forth of nonsense.
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Why Laravel is sooo annoying. I recently join a web dev company and they are working in Laravel. Okay so in first I was like okay...it's fine.. even though I was interested in react but in the end I thought... It's all about your logic.. language can be changed. So I am being told to run this api- boilerplate...it's been 2 days and the error is not going. Sometimes it requires different version of php, different version of this and that ..when it finally runs view is not found. I tried using different xampp..still giving error of changes in php.ini which I already did... I Soo exhausted of this language rn ..3
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can i have an unbiased review of people working in service based MNC firms like tcs/wipro/cognizant/capgemini/etc ?
- how much did you learnt during your time there?
- i have heard a lot about "bench" : from what i understood, its the free time period in which a person is not allocated to any project. So why is this so bad? can't you simply use your laptop in that time to watch videos and learn new tech?
- How is the growth there?How is it affected, considering these companies are mass recruiters taking thousands of freshers each year?9 -
Why... why they have to be like that?
https://github.com/micro/micro/... was reported 11 days ago, I have this issue with the dashboard inside docker than registers no services nor clients, a shame because this enables testing and that comes handy specially if you have never ever done micro-services.
Despite linking to a minimal example that reproduces the issue I have in my project I'm not getting any support from the developers of Go Micro other than "use the latest Docker image, it shouldn't panic", sadly others give it a try too but their directions won't fix the problem.
So this makes me wonder, after 11 days and a minimal reproducible example provided from day one, why no developer have offered any hint of what I'm doing wrong? they know their software, it should be easier for them to spot why the bloody dashboard is not working as it should.7 -
Friday afternoon, customer sends in "your system hasn't worked since this morning, why aren't you fixing it!". To my personal email, and I've been *busy*! How dumb do you need to be to not:
- ...send emails to our support email instead of my personal email?
- ...describe WHAT is not working?
- ...be courteous to the only people with the ability to fix your problem? -
I just hate it when Windows dies in obscure ways just when you need it.
This is why I use Linux most of the time, but hey, I thought it would be nice to finally play a game now that I've got a couple of days off. So because the big titles still don't want to support Linux, Windows was the only choice. Second day in, it won't log in to the system, rebooting to recovery mode is either excruciatingly slow or not working and I bet a virtual racoon died inside the Windows installation just for the hell of it.4 -
If I'm at the library.
And there are Ethernet ports.
Desktop computers are connected to it and working fine.
But when I try to unplug it and connect my laptop with it it's just doesn't work, as if it says there is no Ethernet connection at all.
What are some of the reasons for such thing?
Do I have to look up specific IP configuration and configure it on my laptop?
Do these windows domain system matter?
How can I get started figuring why it says it's that there's no connection in the first place?
The librarians know Jack shit about why it's not working.
And I can't find the technician contact address to ask him/her/them directly.
WiFi works fine, but slow, Ethernet connections has a gigabit connection. (I believe that should explain why I want to use that instead)3 -
Dreamhost sucks. For a DECADE now people have posted the same issue on their community forum about how they cannot cannot send email from their iOS devices using the exact settings Dreamhost requires. Or they were able to intermittently but with no settings changes to explain why it stops working randomly. Yet Dreamhost continues to insist nothing is wrong on their end.
So I go to try and sign up to publish my own problem post. It says to check my email for an activation link. Nothing ever comes, not even to desktop Outlook even when it does work for other emails. -
Today before leaving, the QA said she found problems in 3 issues I've been working on, until now everything was ok. Tomorrow is the closing of the Sprint but I can't present this progress because it's not completed...
I know the QA is doing her job but why now?
Hopefully I'll fix it tomorrow before the meeting1 -
So, I have this colleague (tho he is a student in my company, while I'm an employee), who wants to build a site, but doesn't want to learn how to build one...
I literally gave him everything one needs, yet he still complains about it not working the way he wants...
He literally does one out of 3 things:
- play shitty games and cheats in them
- attempt to build a site without understanding the "why does it work?"
- bother me with dumb questions that have been asked 1000000 times on StackOverflow... -
Just wasted two hours finding out why one of our clients rest API is not working. Apparently it needs a referer header for no good reason and this is no where to be found in the documentation...
It is great that you even have documentation, but please include all basic details!! -
So I am currently updating a application from play framework version 2.5 to 2.6 and am working through all the dependency updates... I feel like I am playing whack a mole.
and now there are suddenly ClassNotFoundExceptions because the classes are not in the same classloader as before and the access over reflection doesn't work anymore.
Anyone got some tips why the classloader is differing?
I think it might be because some dependency conflicts or such. -
"Webpack not working if its Monday"
https://github.com/JeffreyWay/...
I don't see the issue here? Not working on Monday is completely expected behavior, at least for humans. Why shouldn't this apply to software? -
Vivaldi browser is shit.
Simple isntructions on how to make most shitty browser ever:
1. Force users to use "really-fucking-long" password that will not match to any of their existing ones.
2. Invent some useless stupid "encryption password" (why does any normal browser work fine without that shit) and most ridiculous - automatically set it to be the same as the main password.
3. Of course you forget the pass you set because you dont remember what symbol you added 5 times in the end of your normal pass to fit their stupid rules.
4. You have to reset it
5. "Encryption password" does not reset with it, so you still dont remember it
6. Sync is not working!
7. If you think this is shitty enought, you are not right - they went futher. To reset that fucking "encryption password" you have to... ERASE ALL YOUR CLOUD DATA.
Fucking retarded piece of shit - never, never trust those morons who made this shit browser to sync any of your sensitive information.17 -
Sveltekit's progressive enhancement on forms is an obstacle more than a tool.
Submit buttons stop working when they want.
Other buttons in the forms may trigger an action via POST if their type is not defined.
Everything with no feedback whatsoever. At least tell me I'm an idiot in the form or let me know why a button type="submit" does nothing to send the form data 🤦1 -
I am working on an embedded system, a microcontroller-based design. The system has an Ethernet port. I am using NetX framework in the microcontroller firmware.
The DHCP Client is executed properly, an IP address is assigned correctly when connected to a router. I connect a laptop to the router using a LAN cable. Then TCP sockets behave the way they should, UDP broadcast behave the way they should. The only issue is, when I connect a Laptop over wireless to the same router UDP broadcast are received on application on Laptop, but data sent is not received on the embedded device.
Any idea why?
Platform:
Laptop is Windows
Embedded Device: Renesas S7G2, NetX framework.4 -
Just got myself acquainted with a senior gamedev dude in some unnamed startup studio that just got recently funded by some unnamed gigantic -company-that-makes-billions-of-bux. We were shooting darts and enjoying some booze when they let me know that they are in immediate need of devs for their company.
Goddamnit. Why is this sort of shit always happen when I am working already? Not that I'm complaining about my current work (it's still awesome, job-wise and pay-wise), but working in games, and all the bullshit associated with it, is still a dream for me, and most devs I know.1 -
Freaking hell, why google fucking sign in not working after the app is on google play, I have tried everything, run the release app on device and everything works, I thought they are using the bundles to generate and sign the apks so learned everything about fucking bundling and generated app bundles and signed it and generated .apks file locally “I already used the release key not debug key” double checked Auth api keys and installed on device and fucking everything works on the device except if I upload to google play then download to device the middle finger is waiting and google sign in not fucking working, I moved on and attached the app to Logcat and after a lot of digging I saw the fucking error 12501, I went to sleep after seeing this fucking error number. I’m fucking traveling now.
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Who the fuck thought it is a good idea to disable i2c_hid module in Linux kernel 5.12 by default?
I compiled the kernel 3 times and was wondering why is my touchpad not working...5 -
Why is it acceptable for dev think it's ok to skip testing? WHY?
Today i was told that a co-worker had good enough judgment when it comes to CSS if it will break in other browsers other than chrome. I'd accept that if they knew the browsers inside out and read all the release docs but no, not them. Even more so when it's not their field of expertise.
After working for 2+ years at the some company, with a QA team, it's become evident no one does any proper testing, even the friking QA team!
I'm close to define the supported browsers as "What ever the developer used at the time of build".
Am I really the only Dev to test in at least 2 other browsers? -
Im rebuilding a certain page in Angular. Looking at certain functionality i found out that a news subscription is broken on the current page. However i still need to implement this? But why? It’s not working?1
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I working on download function feature and full of 8 hour been debuging in local to find out why the download is notworking (this is not the main issue).
And what I found there. All the problem is clear, and I get it know, I've been using fs to save the log (you know download data is big and it's hurting my eyes even when using console.table). And using nodemon for running the project.
Image is just illustrator lol4 -
2019 and wifi still not work with Windows 10. Laptop is supported with Windows 10. So why it's not working like it should. I don't know why but Windows 10 and wifi is kinda common problem for me. I remember last time I had similar problems with Linux, it was like 10 years ago.4