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Search - "you serious?"
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Got a phone interview for a backend dev job in an opsec company.
Interviewer:
This is a very serious and prestigious position, we take care of the most important bits of code.
*Proceeds to talk introductory nonsense*
Interviewer:
Do you know what a DNS is?
Me:
Yes, of course! DNS stands for Domain Name System.... Blah blah blah... I explain about the servers, about hosts file, about DNS spoofing and everything else possible on this topic.
Interviewer:
See, I was patient with you - letting you finish. I'm not sure what you're talking about and where you got it from, but a DNS is that line in the browser where you type the site's name.
He didn't ask any more questions, just told me that they'll get back to me. I asked not to do that.
Three weeks later I got an email claiming that I'm not qualified.44 -
Admin: "Wait, I noticed unusual traffic."
Me: "What is it?"
Admin: "Looks like we have a bot here."
Me: "A bot? Didn't know we are so popular."
Admin: "It makes constantly login requests through our API, it already surpassed 600.000! I will ban it right away."
Me: "wait, that just sounds like my bot.."
Admin: "DUDE, WTF? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"
When there is bug, you don't know of, it can end up quite embarrassing.11 -
Internship number two.
*walks downstairs to get a coffee*
*CTO (my guider) walks in*
CTO: (dead serious face) "linuxxx (not using my first name :P), come with me please"
*walks along to his office, starting to get reallly fucking nervous*
*CTO and me walk into his office, he sits down and looks at me very serious*
*I'm slightly shaking, nervous, sweating*
CTO: "So."
*oh yes here it is its gonna come I did something wrong fuck fml 😫😥😨😩*
CTO: "So you know quite some stiff around security/privacy. Could you tell me some stuff about why I'd want to use VPN and recommend me some good providers? 😀"
😅
*nearly falls onto the ground from relief*
I explained him some stuff and sent him a list of good providers 😀30 -
Me: I have been working for you for almost 12 years now, and I feel that my current pay is not comparable to the work I currently produce. Therefore, in order to secure my future as your employee, I must request an immediate raise in pay to a level that is acceptable.
Boss: I can't afford it. If you want more money, you need to bring in more clients, plain and simple.
Me: I'm serious. If I don't get a raise, I will qui---
Girlfriend: Babe, stop talking to yourself and come to bed...
Me: Okay... [looks in mirror] This isn't finished...12 -
Tips for all the programmers out there:
- A programmer is not a PC repair man, just no one seems to remember about that
- Programming is thinking, not typing.
Counting starts from zero, not one.
- Even after completing a degree and courses and working on IT projects, learning never stops. If you want to stay competitive you should also work on personal projects that force you to use languages and software you never work with on the job.
- You don’t need serious math skills to be a developer. However, you’ll need basic algebra, logic, strong problem-solving skills, and most of all, patience.
- You don’t need a degree to be a developer - programming is like almost any profession: if you’re good at it, people will pay you for your skills, regardless of how you got there.
- Sleeping with a problem, can actually solve it.14 -
Do any of you guys or gals sit outside and code?
Since 2009 this has been my primary work place (even in the cold and rain), I go to the office for mostly non-coding work and have a pc inside for serious sessions but I'd say 80% of my heads down dev time is spent sitting here. A little quirk is when people call or Skype me they'll immediately say "I can hear birds in the background, where are you??".
Anyway, I'm moving soon and thought I should share while I still can ☺️21 -
So at work today my coworker overlooked my laptop running Linux with i3.
Coworker: How do you live with this?
Me: What do you mean? This is customized to work with Git and my IDE efficiently while I do dev ops with my server.
Coworker: Your mouse barely works and you operate this thing totally on keyboard shortcuts. Linux will never be a serious platform.
Me: I'm not saying you or anyone at work has to use this, I built an environment to suite my needs. Same as anyone. I thought you liked consumer choice?
Needless to say we didn't get much further beyond him thinking I was nuts for configuring my server in the cli. I swear I don't understand why I try to explain anymore. 😡19 -
Are you serious? Are you afraid of an SQL injection or something, and instead of properly sanitizing your queries you disallow characters? Or is your software and database so outdated that you're afraid special characters will break it? Goodbye security15
-
Dear codebeautify.org,
Go kill yourself.
No one likes you. Go die.
Love,
poster983
P.S. I'm serious.18 -
*boots computer*
*login screen appears*
*enters password*
*windows says "Welcome"*
*You have entered wrong password*
Are you fucking serious? Can't you even handle simple login flow? Why the fuck you display welcome screen before validating my fucking password? What the FUCK12 -
My Boss: How long will it take to create login and registration page?
Me: 30 seconds.
Boss: You can't be serious.
Me: (Spinned up Laravel, entered comand - php artisan make:auth
Me: (To Boss) It's done.
Boss: What!20 -
What seems to be the problem? Oh, is your wordpress site hacked/infected with malware?
So I guess you decided to disable updates because it might break your shitty little site? And I guess you thought those warnings you got from me and multiple colleagues about what could happen when you didn't update your wordpress bullshit weren't that serious?
Hold on, you want *US* to restore *YOUR* hosting backups?
Hahahahahaha-no.
Go clean up your own fucking bullshit. But, before you click that restore button, please take a cactus, carve 'I am a stupid wordpress cunt' into it, dip it in a bathtub of with blood mixed-infected cum and shove it up your ass.
Oh yeah I'm aware that that won't help your situation but it might keep you from reproducing and at least it'll give me some satisfaction.20 -
Trying to login...
"Sorry your password is expired. You have to change the password every 60 days".
«Oooh, c'mon...» Inserting a new password...
"The password must contain at least 1 lowercase letter, 1 uppercase letter, 2 numbers and 1 non-alphanumeric character.
«Please, fuck off and die...» Typing again and eventually entering to private area...
My phone vibrate, there is a new SMS: "Your new password is H0lySh1t!"
WTF. Are you serious?10 -
In my freelancing job, I got this as a source code ? Really? Are you guys serious? Is this a joke?49
-
This girl wrote "Hey handsome" on a napkin and gave it to me. It was written in Python 2.7.
I guess you could say we're serious now.1 -
Our teacher wanted to show us a video in class so she opened Internet explorer (windows 7) used bing to search for the video and clicked on the link.
The video didn't work and instead there was an error message saying 'Your browser is too old, please use a more modern browser, for example mozilla firefox'
She looked at the error message for around 30 seconds like it had just told her that it is gonna explode in a minute. After some time one of my friends asked if she needed help. Here is what happened:
F: do you need any help?
T: No (very serious voice)
Teacher shuts down computer, stands up, looks at our class angrily and says in a very serious voice:
T: you broke the computer although you aren't allowed to touch it!
Me: mother of god...5 -
Colleague (lets call him john) does this sometimes at the moments you least expect it, funny as hell:
random colleague: *walks towards john* hey john, do you have a second?
John: *face turns dead serious/scared* h-h-how do you know my name? 😶
Colleague: hahaha, nice try, I've got this server issu...
John: Who are you? Get away from me 😶
*everyone laughing*
*johns face turns normal again*
John: what's up mate? *biggest goddamn smile ever*6 -
How can they think that anybody falls for those ads?
Honestly. = != ==
Also: German and English mixed? Choose one, best stick to English if you want to look serious about looking for developers.
What does Job == interested even mean? The job is interested in the candidate?14 -
You know your week starts great, when you receive a call, that the whole shop database of a company is not working anymore.
Turns out MS Fucking SQL decided to drop all tables, just because the harddisk was full.
A SERIOUS FUCK YOU TO MICROSCHROTT!
It's not a lot of fun, when 15 people have to wait for you about 1 hour, until it is restored.
Why does this have to happen on a monday?10 -
It’s time.
FUCK YOU FRONTEND DEVELOPERS!!!
What the FUCK is wrong with you!?
Could you please STOP creating ”innovate” user interfaces….
Just FUCKING STOP!!!!!
Web after web after web and I can see 100 different fucking date pickers. I mean. WHAT-THE-FUCK!!!
And the menus. GIVE US A FUCKING CLEAR UNDERSTANDING WHERE THE FUCK I AM.
And clicking back SHOULD FUCKING WORK YOU RETARDS!!!
YOU IMBECILS!
And remember the scrolling position. WHAT THE FUCK!? I did that shit
15 YEARS AGO
YOU FUCKERS!!!
It is just… a sad, sad place. I wish the old web was back. Super quick. Simple. Clear.
I get it. It is better now but IT IS NO EXCUSE TO JUST SKIP THE FUNDAMENTALS!!! You bastards!!!
AND WHY THE FUCK THE LARGE IMAGES!? You should have solved this by now!!! Fucking MB!? Are you serious? Did your mother not love you enough?
Oh man that felt good…35 -
OK! all you windows haters.
This is why i totally love windows to death.
it has awesome features no other OS has...
like, installing updates to office and Skype when they are not even installed, there's not even a registry entry anywhere for them!!
now show me another OS that updates non existing software and ill be all over it!
On a serious note, does anyone know how windows would think office and Skype are installed since I can’t find a single trace of them anywhere?23 -
My neighbor: Hey can you install FIFA 16 on my laptop? I can't seem to have the crack.
Me: I can't do that.
Him: Why not? They teach you that in college, right?
(He's damn serious btw.)3 -
Manager: Please make that text in plane white.
FullStackClown: Oooo, that's a tough one. What's plane white?
Manager: Are you serious? You literally don't know what the color white is?
FullStackClown: Well sure I know what white is, but I'm not sure what plane white is, there are dozens of airliners, and I'm sure they all have slightly different shades of what they are using for their light color in branding...
Manager: ...
FullStackClown: ...12 -
⏺ Procrastinating - SoundCloud on shuffle mode.
⏺Concentration lvl - NOOB or repeated work - Something that a mindless zombie could do. I play OneRepublic, Maroon 5, Coldplay, GreenDay, etc.
⏺ Concentration lvl - Serious - AudioMachine, Two Steps from Hell, etc
⏺ Concentration lvl God mode - I require absolute zero silence. You make as much a *sigh* anywhere within 4m radius of me, or I realise of your existence, you would wish you weren't born.4 -
Corporate: Phishing Emails are serious. We need you guys to take this awareness training. Please report if you get any suspicious email.
*Sends the awareness training in a format that screams Phishing
Everybody: Wait... is this a test?1 -
SUPERVISOR: You wrote this 140 lines method, it's too long. You should split it up, it's not readable
IHateForALiving: Bruh be serious, this is a single switch-case; I can't split it.
SUPERVISOR: Fine, I'll do it.
HIS CODE: He split the 140 lines method into 2 methods: the first is 4 lines long; it's a try-catch surrounding a call to the other method, 136 lines long.9 -
Are you fucking serious! 😈😈😈
Is this what a Junior Dev nowadays needs to know to be a successful candidate?13 -
Project manager, a few months ago: "why did you do this task? It's all wrong. It's a backend task, not a frontend task so you shouldn't have done it. Don't do it again."
PM, today, regarding the same task in a different project: "why didn't you do this task? The project isn't complete without it. It isn't right. You should have done it."
Are you fucking serious? If we do it it's wrong, if we don't do it it's wrong too. So why should I bother? Seriously, fuck you you piece of shit.2 -
WTF Apple! That new name is longer than Empire State building! on the right how it was, on the left how it will be if I migrate to Swift 4.2 ...9
-
I was interviewing a candidate for a senior UI dev position and I began to ask him stuff about closures, contexts, design patterns and others.
At some point, after failing to respond to most of the questions, the candidate looked at me and said something like: ‘I am amazed. You didn’t have a lot of toys when you were a kid. The PC was your only toy when you were a kid, right??’.
I looked at my junior colleague that was shadowing the interview and we couldn’t believe what the guy was asking. He was extremely serious and he was looking for a way to find an explanation for his failure.11 -
Grandma:you studying programming so you good with computers?
Me: yes?
Grandma:can you help me with a serious computer problem?
Me: Okay?
Grandma:I can't seem to post a picture on Facebook.
Me: 😐4 -
WHAT THE FUCK, AVAST!
You can't just fucking unbind chrome from my taskbar and pin your fucking trash excuse of a browser.
Reading the fucking Wikipedia article:
"It is based on Chromium, but was subsequently found to contain a serious security flaw not present in Chromium itself."
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!39 -
I'm a self taught "code enthusiast" (don't think of myself as a programmer just yet). I love to play around with simple code, but I could never get into a "serious" project cause in my mind, to be a programmer you need to know every single line of code and not rely on the internet.
The fact that I got into programming at 23 doesn't help cause I also feel like a parent learning to use a piece of modern technology(even tho I'm tech savvy).
Anyone got any advice?22 -
Dad: “Hey son.. I have this new software called blablablu.."
Me: "yeah?.."
Dad: "well it's not working.. there's an error and it's not doing what I want.."
Me: "okay.. I don't know.. sorry.. I don't know that software.. I can't help you.."
Dad: "you're studying computer science... you should know what to do.."
You ****ing serious?! -.-14 -
Worst of many. Had to work with someone who could be accurately described as a monkey in trousers with strategically cut fur.
Him: "I have refactored code now I have to refactor all your goddamn unit tests"
Me: "so?"
<silence>
<checks his commit>
Me: "why have you commented out every single line in all the unit tests?"
Him: "I DON'T BELIEVE WE SHOULD HAVE ANY UNIT TEST. THEY ADD TIME".
Me:"You cannot be serious. Apart from the obvious mistake in judgement why in the name of blue buggery fuck did you not delete the files? Have you not heard of source history?"
Him:"...."
I became his lead.
He left.5 -
Swagger does not send request body for GET calls.! WHAT THE FUCK..! And the argument supporting is get calls should not have any request payloads and rather should have response payloads since its a "get" call. Are you serious?? What if there are parameters to be passed which cannot be accomodated in the params or the header. Even though people are kind of literally abusing on their issues page still they adamantly refuse to add support for this.
Swagger you had high standards in my book. You just fell so deep down there is no coming back.3 -
I sometimes encounter developers who try to be serious all the time and be super rational at everything and have a pride in never smiling. One time my friend was crying and her dev boyfriend went like "I am a developer and I think rational, the way you think about X........." Dude shut the fuck up and hug her! Nobody gives a fuck about you being a RoboCop right now. The fact that you lack emphaty and emotional capacity doesnt make you a mighty god, it makes you a fucking asshole.4
-
1) "Do you consider yourself good with Java? Most of our clients want web pages"
2) "Do you like coding for work on weekends?"
Are you serious?4 -
Current project has a ridiculously high amount of formal requirements
Two of them literally are
• the system shall have an “off” state
• the system shall be in the “off” state if no power is supplied
Boy do I have just the solution for you!24 -
When client compares his cheap 3 months old project App with well established multi Billion $ Bigwigs' Apps :|
"Look how cars are moving smoothly on map in UBER, I want something like that"
"Look how fast is GOOGLE Search"
"Look how AMAZON figures out what we want next"
Are you fuckin serious :|5 -
There are cybercrimes. That means you can be put to jail for performing certain actions with your computer. I’m taking about serious crimes like hacking crucial governmental servers but not about insulting people online. I’m talking about something that’ll make government chase you.
Every action at the computer could be done with keyboard only.
My face when there is finite sequence of keys that you press one by one and then become a criminal. And go to jail.
My face when if you put that sequence into script file, there is file that you double-click and instantly become criminal.
Press here to go to jail. The whole new level of abstraction.
Really makes me think.7 -
So you think it's bad when your friends, family, strangers and others ask you to fix their phone or computer is bad when they hear you're a programmer, IT or good with computers?
You think it's bad when they ask you whether you're hacking when they see code or terminal on your screen?
You think it's bad when they ask you to fix a cracked phone screen because you work with computers?
Well, think again because today my teammate was asked to fix a vending machine by X from another department because, according to X the vending was not accepting X's other dollar bill. The first dollar bill was accepted so why wouldn't it accept the 2nd one? Because the 🤬 dollar bill is crumpled. That's it.
What wows me is what made X think this is an IT issue.
According to X.... "because it has power, lights and touch screen so IT can fix it That's what you guys do, right? You can fix anything".
Me: wait!?, what?, uhhh..., are you serious? Wtf? Why? Grrrr4 -
If you ever find yourself having serious problem with a bug... relax. Go take a walk around the block for 5-10 minutes, don't think about it, feel the sun on your face, look at girls/guys, whatever.
The answer will come to you automatically.
If that doesn't work, someone you know has adderal.2 -
In middle of debugging an issue. Phone rings. While picking up mobile accidentally falls on laptop keyboard. Next thing I see is BSOD. Shows SYSTEM_THREAD_ERROR_NOTHANDLED. Are you serious?3
-
When your prof gives you 9/10 on your CS assignment because, instead of returning an int and doing a comparison, you do the comparison and return a boolean.
🤔😑 u serious man15 -
I was in my way back from work when this guy speeds off the on-ramp onto the highway and almost hits me.
I suppose you could say that it was a pretty serious merge conflict...1 -
Now seriously, WHAT THE FUCK???
Every single time I have to work with people from a particular country [you have one guess. Yepp, that's the one], I see A-FUCKING-LOOOOOOT of manual work?!?
"can you reboot the server?"
-"sure, let me help you, sir" <20 minutes later> "done"
"can you unlock my account?"
-"yes, just a moment sir" <20 minutes later> "please check now"
"can you restart this environment w/ 200 instances?"
-"yes sir, let me check" <6 hours later> "please check now"
"you've missed 18 containers"
-"oh okay sir, will restart them now" <2hours later> "please check now"
[I am already OoO]
why is it that every time I have to work with you guys I am the one who is automating shit. How come you never think of/do any automata? You are fucking technitians, you should know how. WHY DO YOU ENJOY CLICKING ALL-DAY-LONG????
I'm serious. Why??? I'm struggling to understand...22 -
The spaghetti monster is online.
Literally changes on the last minute.
Pushed to master, let CI/CD deal with it and left for lunch.
Bugs? Haha, sure.
Serious one? You can bet.
Do you care? Nope.5 -
Favorite/most hated language? (I love a good flame war)
Why did you quit your previous job / Moment you've considered quitting your current job?
Why do you think Linux is so much better than OSX? (Ahh yes I feed on apple flavored hipster tears)
What side project are you currently working on?
If you had the best teams and unlimited funds, to be used only on a serious project using both Blockchain, IoT and AI, what would you create?
If you forgot how to code, what other career would you pursue?
What is your "I was so busy wondering if I could, that I forgot whether I should" concept/idea/project?
How many chicken eggs would fit inside the moon if it was hollow? (I like retarded interview questions)
If you started a startup, what unique perk would you offer your developer employees?
Do you under- or overengineer?
Most unnecessary feature you ever had to create?
Most necessary feature your boss/client denied to approve?15 -
Ok wtf? How is it that I can give myself admin access to almost any Apple computer just by turning it on, holding down two keys, and then removing one file called “.AppleSetupDone”, without any kind of authentication? And I get access to all of the data on the device too. Within two minutes of having physical access to the computer.
This is a company with millions of devices in use, why is this even possible? And the only way to prevent it is to have a firmware password, which, by the way, is not a default option...are you serious9 -
I came across a line of code that calls an sms provider that sends account credentials in the url using HTTP T_T25
-
Trying to build a mobile first application that relies on camera and geolocation data but use drupal to do it.... ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS .. WTF is this shit?! ... let me nail in this screw with a banana.2
-
It is always very nice when you and a colleague are given a project that is nowhere close to being finished, a week to finish it on, and great motivation from the boss.
Being called into a meeting with the boss and he tells you:
"Ok, you know %s ?", project.name
"Yeah?"
"I need you and %s to finish it within a week", colleague.name
"A week?! We'll do our best but we need more than tha--"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?! IT IS AN EASY TASK THAT YOU CAN FINISH IN A DAY!! I COULD DO IT EVEN BETTER MYSELF!!"
"We'll try"9 -
YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKERS!
Are you fucking serious? How it is possible that you, being a fucking teacher in a PRIVATE UNI, AREN'T ABLE TO FUCKING DEPLOY A .NET CORE WEB PAGE EVEN THOUGH I FUCKING WROTE YOU A PDF, LINKED TO MS DOCUMENTATION AND EVEN WENT TO TELL YOU HOW TO DO IT?
You fucking prick, and now you argue to your superiors that we aren't doing our job as expected... seriously? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID SERIOUS?
I hope you choke on the turkey this christmas, you ignorant incompetent cheap slut... ha, you're not even cheap, because parents are paying THE SCHOOL to provide them with "supposed" better infrastructure, education than a public one, BUT YOU COME TO TELL ME I MUST CODE YOUR ANCIENT PAGE IN FUCKING ASPX WITH DOCUMENTATION DATED 4 YEARS AGO?
Yeez... seriously dude, level up or GTFO.12 -
"Why not adding fancy buttons when you could fix serious issues" - Android devs everyday
Oh, yeah, and the battery issue without having the ability to change the behavior of app, background apps and whatnot. Cuz battery is the forbidden apple that Android loves to feed on so muchhhh1 -
Client : I have a scraping project for you...
Me : Yeah tell me which site you want me to scrape and what data from it?
Client : I want you to scrape data from 500 sites
Me : 500 sites...are you serious?
Client : Yeah 500 sites...can you do the job?
Me : ok...for 500 sites...the charge will be $500...
Client : Are you out of your mind? $500 for just 500 sites...I can only give you $5019 -
Hello devRant, a question for you.
I'm looking to redisign/setup my server 'infrastructure'.
It'll exist out of:
7 vps's (6+gb ram/500gb+/100mbs up/down per vps)
2 dedicated servers running as virtualization servers. (16gb/4tb/1gbit up/down and another one but let's leave that one out for now because it's gonna take a shit ton of time to solve that clusterfuck)
One server will function as an entry point for all websites I run, multiple database servers and multiple backup ones.
Any advices/tips/ideas?
Just a very serious hobby thing :)18 -
WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.. I WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT BECAUSE MY FUCKING PHONE VIBRATED UNDER MY FUCKING PILLOW WHICH I KNOW ISN'T VERY HEALTHY BUT WHATEVER, I CHECK MY PHONE AND IT'S A GODDAMN GOOGLE PLAY AD... IN THE FUCKING NOTIFICATIONS. THEY FUCKING SENT ME AN APP SUGGESTION IN MY NOTIFICATIONS EVEN THOUGH THAT OPTION IS SPECIFICALLY TURNED OFF IN THE FUCKING SETTINGS.
FUCK YOU GOOGLE YOU BOTNET GREEDY BLOATED "muh AI" PIECE OF SHIT. I HOPE YOUR SERVERS IN ALL CONTINENTS GET BURNED DOWN BY SOME SADIST NIHILIST HACKER WITH A 0DAY AND YOU SEIZE TO EXIST.
Goodnight.10 -
A friend of mine bought a new laptop with an ssd and called me over since it behaved weirdly. All the icons on the desktop would turn to white squares and slowly reload their images. Also the laptop was pretty slow.
She said she had brought it to the store to show that behaviour and the only advice they would give was to reinstall windows...
So I started checking on what processes are running...
The thing was constantly running an "optimization" tool... which, you guessed it, was constantly defragmentating... the ssd... are you fkn serious who set up that shit this way... -
CAN YOU PLEASE UPDATE TO 2018!!!
My bank just sent me a message, that they have a new service where you can send a private message to your banker.
I needed to transfer money, and didn't have my cheque book on me, so I sent him a message to please transfer XX dollars to account YY.
His response?
Please send us a fax.
A FAX?? ARE YOU SERIOUS??
And that is supposed to be more secure than a private message from your website, after you force me to change my password every 90 days with crazy requirements that only satisfy hackers???
I told my friend that he will get his money when the bank updates the century they live in ...13 -
So today a senior sent me an error message asking why https://servername/service:80 isn't working... 🤬9
-
What is this, what the fuck is this shit?!!
Are you actually serious Google? Android Studio my ass...
The compat joke is a good one...22 -
You can't keep wasting your time on people who do not know what the fuck they want. You could be way more time efficient with serious clients.
*After I have finally deployed the requested features*
Client: Why did it take you two weeks in the end? You said it would take you a couple days.
Me: Because you told me to use my imagination on half of the tasks and you kept wanting me to change what I had created, thus unnecessarily doubling the time it should have taken. Besides that probably the unclear communication and the fact that you rarely called me back after you told me to call you.
Client: So if I tell you, exactly, how I want it next time you'll be able to do it in a couple days?
Me: I'm not sure, that depends on what you want. Tell me, exactly, what you want.
Client: Oh it's not much, I'll let you do your thing for the most.
Me: I can't handle another request, sorry. *Ends call*4 -
A client literally just told us "I don't wanna be telling you what I want / require / need. I just want you to give me the best you got."
Like wtf.
The worst thing is they've got but loads of money so we really have to take them serious. They were born rich and probably had a servant as a child who did everything for them without them asking to, and they'll continue to get away with it because they'll continue to be rich and there'll be people like us trying to kiss their ass for some of that money. I hate myself for doing it. They want a system to basically spy on their customers, and I'm a huge advocate of privacy, but I'll still do it for the money. Fuck this world.6 -
Boss, yesterday: hey, we just got you a Windows 10 machine. Test the app and make sure it works.
Me: kay. (Fast forward20 minutes) I found a hell of a bug.
Boss: what?
Me: the SA disabled scripts on the machine so I can't build.
Boss: Are you serious?
Me: yeah, and he's out until January.6 -
When I was a young boy and I was writing my first programs, I remember I was sad because they were fast, unlike other applications I used daily and admired, with their long splash screens and the hard drive constantly making noise whenever you performed an action. At that time for me, 'slow' meant 'serious'.
It's fun to see how things have changed today: ensuring performance is a critical part of my job, and DAMMIT WHY HASN'T THE WEB PAGE LOADED YET?!?2 -
!rant
Theres a dead serious business application out there that if you click on customer support in a subsettingsmenu you get redirected to Rick Astleys "Never gonna' give you up" -
boss gives me a new task that requires to rewrite quite a lot of the code to accomplish.
me: "it will take some time, I'll have to rewrite x, y, z... and it will require some rigorous testing too..."
boss: "so it'll take you 2 days?" (serious face)
you gotta be f-ing kidding me right?!1 -
- My task is dependent on a senior's.
- I wait for him to finish it for couple of days.
- Once done I went to test it, the value doesn't get updated, it turns out the value is static ... WTFFFFF!
- I assign him a bug task to fix it.
- My task is still pending.
- After couple of days, he assigns me the task of fixing it, with the excuse that he's busy.
Are you fucking serious !!?? What have I done in my life to deserve such senior? all I want is someone I respect and learn from .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·. .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.5 -
My bitch ass employer won't allow work from home saying unless government enforces it, he can't allow it and reason he is giving is that wE wOn't be AbLE tO communicAtE via SkyPE?
I am so pissed that such people. Everyone citizen has non serious attitude that they saying things like "Nothing gonna happen", "Chill, you are panic way to much about the Corona virus", while number of cases are increasing exponentially here too!
WTF,
I have realized that people don't understand something unless it happens to them.
This is shit.
As rational beings, we should be taking drastic measures while we can but NO!
Fuck You!13 -
“Your idea is not valuable, at all. All value is in the execution. You think you are an exception; you are not. You should not insist on an NDA to talk about it; nobody serious will engage in contract review over an idea, and this will mark you as clueless.” Patrick McKenzie6
-
cssRant
Why for the sake of world peace can't Edge inherit "opacity" to children?
This drives me insane!!!11!!one!eleven!!1!!
Get you fucking turds together dear browser developers!
The whole webDev business gets serious crippling depression from your brainless way of pooping out what you call "browser"!6 -
Microsoft are you serious! You are installing a major update that will take a while, specifying that it will restart my computer many times without even asking if I want to proceed with it now or later! I don't have my charger ! What would happen if It goes out of battery! Damn you Microsoft !! Isn't there any good OS or what! Windows is sometimes buggy ! Linux distros don't make use of GPU! And I don't even talk about Mac.. God damnit we're on year 2017 and made so many astonishing work and still there is no fully operational and good OS! 😬😬😬undefined microsoft 2017 they said.. any good os? bullshit this is what i say! cars would be flying they said..17
-
For all you Googlefags, "Serious Chrome zero-day – Google says update right this minute":
https://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/20...16 -
Hope you survived the Monday;)
As I promised, I’d like to post my comic series “Destory” here regularly.
A story about two devs and their funny but serious project, on the hype technology - the blockchain.6 -
I was going to write this in a jovial ranty style but I just can't, its too serious. So I'll just say it:
Do not touch your colleagues screen, ever. It's the height of rudeness. You can point without touching, it's not hard. Thanks.11 -
Fuck your clients, right...? A small town bank I’m doing some security work for; I had them create me a test account. I received an email with my password; are you fucking serious...?3
-
People know that things are getting serious when you open up a new twitter account for your personal project.4
-
He told me to "calm down".
...
I said to him: "If it weren't you, I'd have hit you." (slowly, with the most serious voice...)
I hate this fucking sentence so damn much...!
"Just calm down..." - "BAM HEADSHOT! GO DIE!"... 🤔5 -
You know that Elixir takes documentation very serious when you only have around 120 lines on a Module and 110 are from documentation.3
-
CEO: What are your plans for these hollidays?
Me: Clean up the house. I haven't had much time because we've had some busy last few months.
CEO: Seriously? Are you joking? (I could see in his eyes, "why would a talented programmer ever waste their time doing menial housework...") I mean, you could be working instead and earning a couple more bucks...
(Fuck him, none of his business...)
Me: I can't delay it this time. My wife has dust allergies.
CEO: Oh. Ok. I get it. When I was a kid, my father and I had some serious dust allergies. The house maid had to clean everything thoroughly at least once a week.
Not surprised...10 -
Dear client:
You have to think this is like building a house, so you have to spend time doing some serious thinking, so you come up with a (somewhat) good vision of what you want and what could possible change in the future... let me give you an example: let's say we were building a house and we are very close to finishing it, so you come up with the great idea of putting the kitchen where the living room is, and the bathroom in the second floor where the TV room was... if that happens, then I would tell you to go fuck yourself.
See dear client... there are pipes, wiring, and all sorts of stuff you don't see, that makes a house be a house... apply the same logic to building software and we'll be on the same page more often.
PS: I appreciate your business2 -
That moment when you enter the elusive state of mind where you're getting serious shit done aannnnnnnddd you're interrupted. FUCK!3
-
Serious question:
How do you prevent your (paid) programs from being downloaded for free?
I really want to earn money from softwares but I'm so scared... (I'm 16 only)21 -
Real question tho. How do y'all actually put stickers directly on your laptop??
Like. For me that's some serious level of commitment. I always want to but I worry I'll hate it eventually and removing it would suck and scar
I can't even put stickers on the cases 😭😭 but like. Seeing a fresh new looking body when you take everything off is always soo soothing to me9 -
This was a straight-to-devrant moment...
Referred a work colleague to a man page for a command they were having trouble with.
Their reply: "I really hate man pages. They are not useful to me. They are full of blah blah blah blah blah. I just want 'run this' or 'run that'."
Then my eyes exploded right out my head, making room for my brain exploding right behind them.2 -
Windows decides to download Creative update.
I restart the computer wait for the update to finish.
I see the login screen.
I log in, then windows says:
"Hi, we have an update for you this might take a few minutes!"
What the serious fuck windows? Did you need me to login so that you can waste more of my time?3 -
My boss knows nothing about development. JUST buzzwords.
*in regards to a project* Boss: "just write it in PHP; it'll be easy!"
Me: "you know PHP?"
Boss (fully serious): "...enough to be dangerous."
He has never written a line of code in his life, let alone has any clue about what PHP does. Whenever I want to fuel my rage, I think about this moment.7 -
That first days when you're on DevRant and you know nobody is gonna take you for serious as long as you have no avatar. #butfinalymadeit :)
#hello4 -
- Two months ago I joined this company and did literally nothing ever since. For that I would like to thank my line manager and his entire branch for being an amazingly incompetent colleagues, and for mumbling "that's how the client works" every time I raised the same damn problem. Also, let's not forget my HR manager and interviewer, who apparently have no connection whatsoever with real situation of company's projects. And last but not least this remarkably hierarchical workplace where you can't throw a rock without hitting a cocksure higher-up.
Y'all fucks deserve some serious brain readjustment.7 -
About a decade ago there was a torrent site for audiobooks audiobookbay I think?, if you forgot your password to your username they would literally just give you a new password on the next page. Naturally being a 1337H4X0R teenager I found the username of one of the admins and got into their account on the site. I don't know if they ever fixed that but that was a serious wtf moment.
Edit: just checked this flaw has not been patched.8 -
The CEO has the audacity to ask why the features released in the last month were less than in the past.
Did you forget that you made every single person in the company take a 1-week furlough? Are you serious?5 -
A rant partially inspired by our favorite angry German.
Are you fucking serious? Why the fuck even publish the stories to your fucking website if you're just going to beg me to download your shitty app?
Why don't you download yourself getting fucked by a chainsaw? Now THAT I'd download you fucking assholes.2 -
This isn't serious. I struggled with the order. The main point was that the smart ones left the industry. I thought about making JS Devs be lowest tier. Please contribute your own version if you can think of a better ordering.20
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When you're at the till ordering a plain coffee and the barista SIGHS and ROLLS THEIR EYES at you. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? That's you're damn job, don't fucking do that. That's the only reason you're here!!!8
-
Using z-index 99999999999.
Are you fucking serious... please go somewhere far far away from me and cut your hands off so I don't have to deal with this shit.3 -
Wtf firefox ? are you serious ?
I made an extension (https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/...) that uses the Storage API to store preferences. In their website the permission section it displayed "Access your data for all websites". Some guy gave 1 star and let this message "This does not need all my browsing information."
For firefox I'm worst than facebook. Get your facts right.1 -
dev/ChoosingBeggars
Condition : Deadlines in 7 Hours. Submit on Class
MyClassmate : "Have you done the last Assignment?"
Me : "Technically Speaking, yes, i've done that in Python, since we need to use C, i need to Translate it first"
MC : "Can you teach me?"
Me : "I wouldn't say i won't, but it's 1 AM, time is short, need to sleep, I can give you the python code tho"
MC : "wait, so you will submit the python code without Translating it first?"
Me : "Of course not, i can translate it less than 30 minutes, i'll finish and submit it before class"
MC : "can you translate it now, so you can email that to me at <his email address>, so i can sleep now and we can submit it together this morning"
Me : "i can't tell you are serious or not, anyway, see you in class"
🤦♂🤦♂🤦♂🤦♂🤦♂ <screenshot in indonesian, just for proofs>12 -
Hi, I am a recruiter representing awesome projects. It's the next thing after machine learning! You would be crazy not to apply.
But the is a strict requirement: you need to have 69 years of experience in devRant. Please comment if you have serious interest.5 -
When you have high pattern recognition but get rudely ignored until the problem you warned about becomes a very serious issue days later 😪🙄
Fuck I'm so tired of feeling like the only one trying to stave off bad practice sometimes 🫠
🙃4 -
!rant
More like a genersl question I guess. But how do you guys react to writing software that might make someone else get laid off? At work I developed an application that manages a lot of the inventories and yard management that had to be done by hand. While I was developing it, the manager that was giving me the details mentioned (jokingly) many times that if the software works as it was expected that they will not require certain people anymore. I shrugged it off as a joke since I could not imagine it being serious. Turns out, it was serious and some talks about company restructuring have taken place since I released the app into our servers. How the fuck am I supposed to feel? If someone loses their job because of something like this, how would someone go about NOT feeling guilty af?16 -
As a junior developer I'm thinking way too serious about putting this information on my resumé...
" I'LL ANSWER STUPID QUESTIONS SO YOU GUYS CAN WORK ON PEACE "1 -
Pokemon GO is a trend as if I need to tell you all that. But people are now making money out of it.
www.pokewalk.com is the funniest thing I ever saw today. The site claims that it will walk for you and catch them all. No worries about the battery of your mobile...they will charge it as they collect.
Are you serious?? Where's the fun in that?? Professional walkers cmon !!??8 -
I have a serious question.
I particularly address Italian ranters.
It's about time to decide what faculty/"subject" I should go to, and I'm uncertain between "Informatics" and "Informatic Engineering".
Does someone know what the differences between the two are, and, given that I want to do as much programming (and so practical stuff instead of theorical stuff) as possible, which of these two faculties should suit me best?
If you're not from Italy, but from other countries, of course that shouldn't stop you from posting a response, if you want to.
How do Universities work there?
Are they like ours, in Italy, or does it work differently?
Thanks for your patience. 💙9 -
It's a Friday morning I'm tired as hell after a hard week. trying to plough through all my work earphones in, music really loud. Sales guy in the office tries to talk to me i didn't hear him as my earphones were in he then says "you need to turn your music down or turn it off if you can't hear us" he said this in this serious tone. *music gets louder* to drown his noise out.3
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Seriously what's wrong with the market right now, this is basically what some job ads said. They were even from the same company
Frontend job ad: are you a rainbow rockstar developer who just loves to code OwO(unpaid overtime) [buzzwords...]
Embedded systems job ad:
Serious job description
Required experience in c/c++
Other non bs stuff8 -
Now I see why people think "medium" is trashy...
Medium writer: [writes 2 mins-read-article with 6 unrelated gifs on how to implement an extension to a framework.]
Random user: [ uses guidance from post to implement the solution, but was met with errors]
Random user: I have used this your guidance and another but...[ random user paste error]
Medium writer: I am not sure, ... I haven't been working.
like serious, you shouldn't write an article of something you don't know about dude!
.13 -
People who assign vague tasks to you, without any context or anything remotely resembling a brief, for a project you know almost nothing about. And then expect you to be able to magically work out what they're actually wanting. Whilst demanding ridiculous turnaround times. I mean, are you fucking serious?1
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I'm curious..
When does programming suck for you, and when is it fun?
Like I hate programming, when I run into an obscure use case that opens up some serious errors with my some, or gasp, all, of my architecture and forces me to rethink everything - especially DB design, ugh.
I love programming when my architecture and DB design create naturally readable code and everything falls into place and I feel like a genius.
I guess, in short.... plan before you code?
And then, plan again.
But don't plan too much.
The love/hate of my programming life summed up right there I think.
How about you?10 -
I think it's incredibly sad that one of the first serious discussions I ever have with my child will be how to Google yourself effectively, to do it at least once a week and how to go about getting certain things removed (If you can) 😕2
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I wished there was a lmao button, because sometimes a post/comment makes you laugh your socks off or is very clever, but a ++ won't just do it.
and you also don't want to reply with a "that's hilarious", because
a) it's non-content thus not something that others than OP would ever want to read
b) on the internet, compliments are usually interpreted as sarcasm
but such thing would also degenerate quickly into a troll tool, eg, a user posting an opinion in a serious manner, and other users spamming that lmao button...
so maybe not exactly a lmao button, but something similar, like medium's clap (although I think 50 claps per user is a bit too much).4 -
Do any other devs here have serious entrepreneurial ambitions and the drive to achieve them?
How do you manage the conflict between your day job and your ambitions.
I find every employer is looking for someone with just enough ambition to “move up” in their company but any ambition of your own outside that seems to come off as threatening.
I try to keep the 2 separate but I have always thought that by not wanting people with actual ambition a company is only hurting themselves.
Thoughts?12 -
[Half question / half rant]
Would you rather work with a laid-back, humorous colleague who produces shit code and won’t understand advice for improvement?
Or would you rather work with someone who’s more serious, even slightly boring, but who takes quality seriously and is open to advice?
Yes I’ve worked with both types. Hands down I prefer working with the latter. With the first dude I’ll have good conversations and a good laugh at his puns and jokes. But at the end of the day I’m pulling my hair trying to make sense of his code and spending a shitload of time reviewing his PRs just to make sure he’s not fucking things up even more.4 -
Me: we should take this project a little more serious, follow the coding standards and please let us use git!
Pal: Oh sure.
//made a new repo and the first commit, sent the link and prepared everything (Granted access etc.)
//2 weeks later
Me: What's up, I already got quite some commits and you haven't pushed anything so far.
Pal: Pushed? what do you mean?
Me: I'm the talking about the git repo, I'm the only one contributing.
Pal: Oh yeah git, I installed it but I have no idea how that stuff works. I opened Git gui but i don't know what I'm supposed to do. I got everything in the Dropbox tho.
Me: ... ... ... FUUUUUUUUU WHAT THE FUCK MATE ARE YOU SHITTING ME, THE HELL DO WE HAVE GOOGLE FOR AND WHY DIDNT YOU ASK, LIKE WTF SERIOUSLY I EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU TO USE GIT.
😣2 -
(PSA: serious replies to this kind of wk tag might be best suited under Random)
"The way you've done this seems much less complicated that what I would've come up with."
"You've been reading Clean Code?"
"I didn't think that was possible, nice."
And finally, the most extreme one:
"Can you print this code for me so I can hang it on my wall of good code?"3 -
i love to actually understand how the code works! like you're writing some text and surprise - it does magic? no. it goes deeper than that. and when you understand those concepts, coding becomes more serious/fun and interesting1
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Fuck YouTube and their sponsored content!
You can clearly see they get paid to promote certain videos as they pop out of nowhere, regardless of your interests, and no matter how many time you click "I don't like this" or "don't recommend channel".
It can be simple stuff like Warthunder vids (which I don't play and never searched for),
Or complex like the Amber Heard trial - vids that make her look foolish. Feels like Depp dropped some serious cash on YouTube to make him look like a victim! (regardless if he really is or not)
Isn't there a law that sponsored content must be marked as such?13 -
YOU CAN'T, POSSIBLY, BE SERIOUS WITH ME! FUCK, FUCK IT ALL!
THOSE DAMN ENGINEERS WITH A DEGREE AND ALL CAN'T PUT A FUCKING IF IN THE DAMN CODE!
I'M RESTARTING THE DAMN THING, I DON'T WANT AN UPDATE! FUCK! UPDATE THIS SHIT WHEN I HIT THE SHUTDOWN BUTTON AT LEAST!15 -
Pythons tkinter library has a module called "N". Just N. That's it.
So whenever you type "N" and want to autocomplete some local variable or class name, the IDE will instead import that module!
Who the fuck thought N would be a good name??? Some people have some serious issues...9 -
You know that coding - a primarily digital activity, is getting serious when you get out your pencil and paper IDE.4
-
When you're reading a NLP paper that cites Aristotle, you know some serious shit is gonna go down.9
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I keep seeing the word “privileged” thrown around, and this one, I actually understand to be right.
But if you have a mental disease or another serious incurable condition, kick like 5000 points off your privilege scale.
Money and medication don’t always help. I’m ready to give a very, very thick stack of money to anyone who can actually cure what I have. I wish I could do it.10 -
Serious question for anybody who has dared to understand manager-speak: Do you know what a 'Task Rewind' is? We have it in our documentation, but google gives me no help as to what the hell it could mean.
...Or should I just take my original gut feeling and classify this as yet another word for the clown dictionaries?6 -
So I ordered a blue yeti mic, mic arm and pop filter, to buy from Amazon Australia (the warehouse is a 2 hour drive from my home) it would have cost me $450 and arrived January 18th, I ordered it from Amazon US and paid 208 that includes shipping and import and it's arrives on the 10th.... Come on Amazon are you fucking serious?!6
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Okay ... Windows, I really tried to be nice, but that's it. You get off my ssd right now ...
Just got the error: "filename is too long - unable to delete file" (full name incl. path)
Seriously, WHY?
I mean, sure ... Long file paths/names are a thing and this is why there are limitations. I am totally fine with it!
But Why the hell allows windows you to create those files if it is unable to delete these files later ...
I don't get it. Maybe I am just hit my head to hard as a child and someone may enlighten me ...
PS: windows was running in a VM to give it a real serious try after years on Linux4 -
!rant
Finally did overcome myself to install Linux on my Desktop PC!
Its only Ubuntu for now, but I did install Arch Linux on a latop some time ago. So you could say, things are getting serious 🤓5 -
Rant
Arg! Stack overflow why are you so full of argumentative dumb wits. I post serious question for a serious answer and what do I get? People who apparently know my situation better than me and have decided what I want to be done shouldn't be done. They don't even know what I am making. Either answer the question or move on!!!5 -
“We will send you a code challenge :)”
Or if we are being serious, I like it when we discuss projects I or they have worked on and what was interesting and challenging about them, and what was done to overcome obstacles and why. I really like when we discuss potential options and why one was taken over another one. -
!rant seems that my raspberry pi serial idea is a little bit complex at the moment and may take a more serious turn later, but I have studied and found DOS based TCP/IP software that will allow me to use my 5150 with actual Ethernet. There are a few 8bit ISA Ethernet cards that will work in the 5150 and separate executables that will configure DHCP, DNS, and even allow me to use a terminal emulator and SSH to connect to *nix based computers over lan! I'll keep you all posted!6
-
What do you think of LinkedIn's quizzes? I passed the JavaScript one but failed JSON... JSON!! Are you fucking serious! How is that even possible!!!10
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Started a new job yesterday...
The working hours are from 7:30 - 17:00, which includes a 30 minute lunch break.
I don't know how many times it was repeated that we start at 7:30. And each time in a I'm-joking-but-actually-dead-fucking-serious-so-you-better-have-your-ass-here-by-seven-thirty manner!
Oh yeah... and the drive to work is about 30-40min! 😩4 -
me making new dev friends
[...]
me: yeah that's cool what IDE are you using for C++?
guy: like an editor where I write the code?
me: ......yes?
guy: hold on, I don't know what it was called
> taps around his desktop
> guy shows word 2007
> I'm laughing a bit uncomfortably because I'm not sure whether he is serious or not
> guy opens up .cpp file in word
> so many questions
> mfw2 -
Newb rant: So you're telling me that I could've been accessing the freaking terminal right inside of Android Studio!?!? Thanks Udacity for once again stringing me on for freaking ever alt tabbing back and forth from Android Studio to the Terminal!!4
-
On the most serious of notes, and i need yall to think hard about this.
What makes you a good developer whether Backend or Frontend or Web or mobile.
What qualities actually make you a good developer?
I mean, we all use google, github, stack overflow etc. So what makes Programmer A better than Programmer B.
and in a more practical sense, ive been coding for two years now and i have deployed an API written in node and an instagram automation tool in PHP (which is down now due to lack of funds), i lack frontend knowldge (but i want to make up for that) and i have projects that when i finish, with my connections can and will blow up in terms of income. now you on the other hand, what makes you better than me?
and lastly, how much code do you have to change from an existing project, lets say from github for you to comfortably say, yes this is mine.question node php developers github api frontend mobile backend what makes you better stack overflow web8 -
Guys, serious question.
I work in a startup as a cto. We have a very low budget and considering hiring people offshore.
Does anyone have some experience in hiring and piloting a remote team? Would you recommend it?11 -
1. When you are super busy, stuck at work, fixing codes with deadlines overshoot, and then, an intern comes to ask a question. Leaving all my important tasks aside, I turn to help him out and then he asks me:
"Where can I get the Table Tennis bat?"
Seriously, I gave all my attention to help him out since he is new and he ended up asking this..
2. Scene: My manager and me having a serious discussion regarding design reviews and future tasks.
2.a) An intern of my team comes and just stands near us. My manager asks him if he wants to talk urgently with anyone of us, and he says no. I am just standing and listening.
2.b) This time a step ahead. He actually intervenes to ask me about some stuff during a serious conversation between my manager and me. -
Start a company after finishing school for not to be a slave to other companies. (It won't be easy)
Either way, I'd like to follow a path that I genuinely feel good about. Otherwise it's soul destroying to work just for the money. You have to always believe what you're doing for achieving something serious in life in my opinion.
Oh, and stay away from Windows. -
I deployed one of our staging websites to a free plan because the site is rarely used. Project Manager sends the stakeholders the new url. There will be a lot of 🤦♀️🤦♂️🤦 all around. Some of it’s my fault. A lot of it is just WTF.
Stakeholder: We still need the staging site because we don’t want to test in the live site…
PM: Okay. We didn’t say we were deleting the site. We are just moving it to a new and better hosting platform, so we’re letting you know the url has changed.
Stakeholder: This url is for the front facing page. How do I access the backend? [they mean the admin interface]
Me: The only thing that’s changed is the url for the staging website. So domain-A/account is now domain-B/account.
I thought that was a pretty straightforward way of explaining things, that even a non technical person would get it. They took the /account example as the literal login url.
Stakeholder: I forgot the password for our admin login and I submitted a password reset, but I realize I don’t know if I have access to the admin email. Or if it’s even a real email account.
WTF
I look back at the email chain and I realize that I gave the PM the wrong url.
Also, WTF x 2. How did this stakeholder not realize they were looking at the wrong website?? There are definitely noticeable style and content differences. And why would you have an admin login that uses a fake email??
Me: My apologies. I sent over the incorrect url. My instructions are mostly the same. All that’s changed is the domain.
Stakeholder’s assistant: [DMs me] How do we access the backend?
WTF…are they seriously playing this game and demanding I type out the url for them?! 🤬 I’m not playing this game and I just copy and paste the example that I already sent over.
They figure it out eventually. Apparently, they never used /account to login before They used /admin/index… but that would still bring them to /account, but with ?redirect=/admin/index appended to the url if they weren’t logged in. Again, WTF.
I know I made mistakes in this whole thing, but damn. I can’t even. I’m pretty sure this whole incident is fueling my boss’s push to stop supporting this particular website anymore so I can focus on sites that actually bring in revenue…and have stakeholders that aren’t looney and condescending like this.4 -
I have severe OCD. What I do and what I make should be perfect. When I went to being a teacher as a side hustle, two days a week, three hours a day, nothing serious, my brain was like "teaching is a noble mission, Janusz Korczak was a teacher, and he dropped that Teacher Banner when he stepped into a nazi gas chamber to not let his students die alone, and now you are the one who caught that banner, and now you are carrying it, and you must not bring the shame to it", then I wasn't sleeping because for every class I SHOULD be READY, everything should be checked and prepared, there should be not a single case of me not knowing the answer for anything students ask, let alone being late1
-
Ok, so, serious question.
How the frick do you time a music game properly?
IN C#?
...Ok, maybe in C# it's just impossible, isn't it? Because I've done a metronome, it kinda works, but it's... wobbly... Because the thread stops every time the music effect is being played.
And also how do you make the notes...? ...I should design an entire editor for charts/maps, I guess, but how do I make that in C#?
So maybe I should try in Unity?
What do you think? I want to make a music game so bad ;–;8 -
F*ck Apple. WatchOs 4 is a downgrade! On first apple watch the system runs half the speed. The music app is now shit, because I can only play music downloaded on the 2gb apple watch. Seriously wtf? Maybe I have more music than 2gb. There new design of the app slowed the app down to 15 fps...
The story watch face is complete crap it shows all the time only "Good morning, name".
The worst is I can't go back to the watchOS 3 which was so many times better...
And you still have this bug that pisses me off since watch OS 1 you can hear every sounds coming from your watch with your Bluetooth headphones, but not calls.
You have to hear the call with the apple watch speakers when you don't want to buy airpods.
In other words the function is useless.
And it's one of the most important.
Pls apple why has every watchOS update have to be an downgrade...
And I don't have any chance to get off of this version unlike with iOS.rant apple are you serious get your shit together calling is not an important function what is wrong with you watchos -
!rant
What direction would you guys like to see devRant going in. I personally like it as it is, a place where developers can rant, share jokes (but not memes), share their thoughts, etc etc. But I know some people want it to go in more of a SO direction, where it's just another serious questions board. What do you guys think?11 -
The moment when u write a sarcastic joke (comment/rant), but you do not actually post it, fearing --s from super serious people.8
-
Freelance developers, how do you get clients?
I am developing apps/websites with a friend and so far er have found our clients mainly on project-listing sites (sites like freelancer.com). My experience is though, that it always becomes a price-race, and with many projects only being small static websites, it just doesn't seem that this is the way to Go.
So if any of you have suggestions on how and where to find larger/more serious clients that will be much appreciated - it should be said that we already have quite a few projects to show in our portfolio, so I think we are ready to take on some larger projects6 -
Fuck this shit! We had bug on website when tinymce was showing broken tables and could not save them correctly. So, the first thing you think about is tinymce is fucked up and you have to either upgrade, downgrade or fix it fucking yourself. Well, I spend more than hour tryingto figure this out. Then I found out that some fucker set column length in DB where data are stored to varchar 800!!! WTF, are you fucking serious?
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Client Agency: "Well why did it take you so long to style the clickdummy?"
Me: "well I did not anticipate that you had that set up by a student who does it know his css. I had to fix many usability problems first."
Client: "To me it looks just like before. What did you do exactly?"
Me: "Are you serious? That thing was not at all usable before."
Client: "The functions were all there in the first place!"
Me: "Yes, but I one does not know where to click, that is no use, is it?"
Client: "Ok then what ever...I somehow feel like like you have gotten less efficient these days. "
Me: -.-""""!!!!
Client: "so would you please include some effects and make it shiny? I just wanted you to make it shiny."
Me: -___- "ok then"
-----
Client: "Now it's awesome, thanks."2 -
@rutee07 is gone! Yaaaaaay!
Now, as I have your attention: on a serious note, your dick size-bragging, vulgar blabbering was fun for a moment, but this is what happens when you’re not truly being yourself. In real life, you’re a woman, I don’t know why you had to invent all that persona based on genitals you don’t have to pose as someone else. Without irony, I really liked when in your latest rants and comments your mask begun to slip, and you wasn’t afraid to show your true personality — complex, vulnerable, beautiful.
I forgive you. Perhaps, Rutee as a persona _should_ die, superceded by true you. I adore the gesture, and you will be missed.9 -
Hi devRanters, hi you all.
I really appreciate all of you that are patiently reading, humorously or not so humorously commenting and wise or not wise giving advice to my semi-serious rants.
It's a great stress relief for me in this moment to know somebody it's out there listening to my stupid problems.
And probably will also improve the life of people around me.1 -
I need to stop adding, weep uncontrollably, between tasks in my work to do list before my coworkers start thinking I'm serious.
Technically I am serious - you would be too if you had to manage the servers I inherited - but I don't want to ruin the all powerful Wizard of Oz vibe I got going.1 -
That moment when you know Python, and start in a serious national competition. You expect god knows how hard tasks....and all of a sudden you realise that all of them are in turtle...rip1
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I have a serious issue with anxiety, i have an unhealthy way to cope with pressure and I don't know how much will affect me in the future.
Right now I'm your average developer, i write code, makes test, commit stuff and deploy ... and i'm happy.
But seems it's not enough ... you gotta be a speaker, a leader, make showcases to customers/stakeholders the more you go up the ladder.
I'm not that. Fuck. I guess this is the kind of skills part of the Senior Engineer package companies requires.
I just wanna write code, deals with other developers and fuck off the PR part.
<.<9 -
We had a project where we had to code in c# and setup a continuous integration server and create some tests for our application.
Our teacher asked:"Are you guys using junit?
He was serious. -
The worst is not being taken seriously when working on serious tasks...
Sure as an intern I don't get paid a lot, but that system I'm building has to work either way, you better fucking take that seriously....1 -
Have a friend who wants to enrich his coding portfolio but is scared of people copying his more serious code if he puts it up on github.
Told him it's all about open source and he could just keep the more casual code up there while giving access to serious projects on request from a company, but it's not very ideal, is it?
What would you tell him?7 -
!rant x 9999
!dev x 999999
Say what you want, but I'm sharing this.
The only thing I am waiting in 2019 is this. Not new phones, not new OSs, not new apps, not new digital currency, not new sex toy, not new God Of War, not new Game of Thrones. Just this 3rd installment of my favorite game.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
// I am not a serious gamer.3 -
1. Learn as much as you can before starting your first serious job. Because once you are in production, you are not as much learning new concepts as you are copy pasting, fixing dead code and getting stressed by deadlines.
2. Aim as far as possible and believe in yourself. Facebook or google might comprise of a billion lines of code, but it's not like you can't understand all of it if you gave it your 100%. Be it a weird but amazing looking design or a simple looking calculator, you can figure it out if you are curious and dedicated enough.
3. Learn to google.
4. Don't let assholes berate you. And you WILL meet a lot of assholes in this field.1 -
!rant
Hey guys i relased a new app called: SaleMonkey. Im currently working on the next update an would like to get some serious feedback from people who look at the app with a developer mindset to spot some Problems.
I hope its not Bad if i poste a linkt to my app. You can get it here:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
Currently only on Android. Ios Version is planed for next year.
Thanks20 -
I know depression can be at a spike these days, but you know, when the frontend developer is like in hiatus for 2 weeks because of that... And just tells our boss like "hey I'm having serious problems with the frontend code", that's a shitty thing to do, like dude, quit or be honest with our boss so he would know how to handle this batshit1
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So... IT was fucking horrific. Just the sight of red and white makes my heart race. (It was a great movie though; if you're into horror I highly recommend watching it)
However, I'm afraid to go to sleep tonight so I'll probably just stay up all night coding and studying for my CSIII exam on Monday.
SERIOUS QUESTION: as developers, do you ever use base conversions or boolean algebra? I'm trying to figure out how what we're learning will actually apply to the real world.4 -
Happy 2023, may all your gym memberships be worth while, this time🙃
On a serious note though, what's your goto blogging platform these days?
Beyond Wordpress because well, let's not trigger PTSD for some of us, what are you gals and guys using in 2023?4 -
When your gf texts you and you just dwell into long romantic conversation and forget what you were even coding.(I'm serious it happen to me sometimes, not all the times coz we spent most of time arguing 😂😝)
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Yo Vanessa? I like, appreciate your interest but can you not let your bots run wild?
On a more serious note: This has happened about 10 times already. -
What if I tell you I know front-end developers asking me if a parameter in a jQuery function should be in quotes or not...I mean...c'mon, people, are you fucking serious?1
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I am currently playing around with hosting an API on Heruko but I also hear a lot of buzz around serverless APIs...
What do you guys recommend? Or do you recommend another host for playing around and maybe getting more serious in the future?1 -
I'm in hospital now and pretty much can't walk to toilet so nurses gave me this thing that you can relieve yourself in. Guess how they call it. A DUCK. ARE YOU SERIOUS? I'M NOT GOING TO TALK TO THAT THING.4
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When your code misbehaves in production and you need all the ducks in the world to fix the problem😂😓
(Marshmallow doing some serious debugging!)1 -
After a long and relatively serious meeting with the boss. I say thank you, he says thank you, his iPad replies, You're welcome.1
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To any Java developers. I been programming for about 2 years on and off. Im pretty good when given a task. But from your experience. What techniques, or methodologies should a Java programmer know of he wants to really get serious and get a job? Do you guys have portfolio projects?12
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Is it just me or is there a serious problem with devRant not loading more rants once you reach the bottom2
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I guess that you could say that things are getting pretty serious...
I just woke up and found out that I was using my laptop as a pillow. S22 -
Working on a bug that in my opinion never worked. “Sr. Dev” dares to say the function has worked before. I’m a 100% sure it never did.
“Yes but everything is being tested before we go live.”
Dude, we have a monkey testing our stuff are you serious!?3 -
I just found a class in the codebase which was named "Ariadne". Coz it was responsible for holding the information of where you are on the site wrt the homepage. Talk about giving meaningful names. There was no other documentation whatsoever. You know you've serious code quality issues when you expect fellow developers to know entire stories from Greek mythology to understand the code.1
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Hey bros just found this (haveibeenpwned.com) supposedly tells you if your usernames or email addresses have been leaked in many websites/services. Check it out, some of my accounts were leaked nothing serious tho i forgot i even had them
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This is the beginning of an edifact file, we received for the third time with the same error at a different line.
Let's see if someone here finds that error.
UNA:+.? '
UNB+UNOC:3+1+1+60:0931+1++1234567'
UNH+1+ORDERS:D:96A:UN'
BGM+220+B10001'
DTM+4:20190620:102`
LIN+1'
First time. Meh. Could happen to anyone.
Second time. Aw come on. Really?
Third time: Are you fucking serious?
We told them now two times what the problem with the file is.
How can you still manage to make the same error on a completely different line that didn't have that error before?7 -
started to try out xamarin. a ideal way to write it once and use it in 3 apps. on windows all was fine. android sdk adn ndk installed everything ok. starts to looked at ios hmm, you need mac to build project, simulate. oh wait even the UI designer you need mac pc.
WTF is going on here, are you serious apple. come to think of it, now i get how apple sales numbers are high. when developers and companies need to by apple pc in order to make a fucking app for them. but that's not all you need to pay 100euro a year to publish the app.15 -
Okay, so this is more like a question, than an actual rant, but what site(s) do you freelancers use?
Lately i have some serious free time, and thought, why not try to make some side-money?2 -
I hate touchscreens!
Far too often, nothing at all happens when "pressing" a "button", and when something happens, it's not at all what you wanted, it's like touchscreen devices have a will of their own.
Maybe touchscreens will evolve and actually become useful in the future, with a technique for reading input that works for everybody and not just for the majority, and with tactility, i.e. through 3D morphing of buttons, switches and wheels, controls that you can grab, feel and hold on to.
Till then, I'll dismiss touchscreens as the toys they are, no good for anything serious.5 -
So I just released a thing I've been working on for the past few days and I'm very glad that it's finally public!
It's a thing that you can use on your website to let the user choose which cookie they want to allow.
https://github.com/metaa/cookiebox
It's worth playing around with the cookie panel in your developer console of your browser on the example page, too!
https://metaa.github.io/cookiebox/
I'd be glad to get some serious feedback and I hope it could be useful to someone out there. 😊 -
Godot Engine - great open source alternative to Unity, powerful with basically anything you need for game dev and with great community,
VS Community and VS Code for more serious things, because they're pretty pretty powerful and extendable.
Oh and Krita is kinda cool, but I'm not much of an art guy -
- ok so I said I had to touch little bit of nodejs. It's a messenger like chatroom. Users data and the rest are stored in mysql. Chat messages are stored in mongodb. Found a funny issue. (Funny as in annoying that you just bang your head with your head while laughing funny) one mysql query in the node app is giving different order by result when you run it. I thought it was async issue. Turn out it's not. Said query works fine when running on phpmyadmin and the likes.
- I watched end game yesterday. And I'm sad. It's an end of an era. But also hopeful for various possibilities Marvel can do for future films.
- have you ever had such a great sex that afterwards she got serious headache and had to vomit?7 -
That I'm responsible enough for people to just entrust shit to me and irresponsible enough to fuck up very important things for very stupid and easily avoidable reasons. Rarely enough to not happen a lot, but serious enough fuck-ups that it can't be considered inconsequential.
And when I tell people not to trust me with shit without supervision they refuse to believe me and think I'm just being self-deprecating. Bitch I'd accidentally let you die if that was a responsibility of mine, I have no brain, only butterflies.1 -
I hate Windows and I hate Dell.
Apple fucking extorts you but at least it fucking works. macOS works, great UI, unix-like, NO FUCKING INTRUSIVE UPDATES
Did your mac break? We'll replaced, no problem.
Fuck, some company should try to be serious competition to Apple. I'd love to see that day, but untill them I unfortunately have to come back to apple, again and again. Fucking shit.16 -
I rarely use devrant for such things but I'm curious as to the response. I've found several quite serious security vulnerabilities in our main application which have been raised internally yet management keep coming out with "we don't have budget to fix them" what should I do in this situation? How would you handle it?6
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!Dev related
So you know when you write an exam.You studied your ass off every day for the last 4 weeks .You see the questions and you like hey I can do like 80-90% stuff.You do the paper.You smile while handing it in
You leave.
Then,you wait.Confidently.In your mind thinking "hey don't fear the maths calculus paper was nice"
You recieve your marks after 2 weeks
You check it,and your heart COMPLETELY SINKS.How on living earth did I get 40%
Idk what it might be, insufficient studying(maybe revising the syllabus three damn times in 4 weeks wasn't enough).or stupid mistakes.or just the fact that it maths(calculus).This is the mid year so this mark doesn't determine if I pass or fail.
I need help,like serious help.I've kind of lost hope right now.If I talk to my parents their only solution is to study more(which clearly isn't doing the trick for the past 3 years in the same course)
I don't know anymore.I just dont.5 -
How to know that you need a rest?
You see a code:
```
public function scopeEnabled($q)
{
$q->where('disabled', false);
}
```
And assume that you have a serious bug...1 -
iOS development: When Google didn't realise that you trying to start a serious development question dealing with the keyword "swift" and anoying Taylor Swift searchRequestBombs it. Anytime.
Hey Google come on, I'm interested in serious answers and not that kind of celeb rubbish bullshit 😡
And what the hell about Kim Kardashian ist that your kind of interpretation of objective-c or?1 -
Jesus fucking Christ windows firewall is a tumor on this Earth. Serious who the hell thought of the design for that shit? The way rules are implemented are fucking terrible and you really can't tell one choice from the other. All I needed was for a game to be allowed through my firewall so I could host games and it took hours to fix this problem.
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Common Docker for Windows! Are you serious? What in heavens name could you do wrong to loose access to your own ducking database?! And as if that's not enough there comes the internet in the form of Google telling me that I'm the only idiot with this problem. Sure sure. Gnarf.5
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When did you feel that you were a *Serious* Programmer?
Mine had to be when I got a second monitor for my workstation. Felt like some 80's stereotype hacker. Even bought a Guy Fawkes mask just for a meme Instagram pic haha... Fml3 -
any good future-proof VPN services you guys can recommend which are fast, reliable, take privacy serious, come with a linux client (CLI perfectly fine) and allow for conveniently faking geolocation?9
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I think the dev missed a nullcheck before `handlebars.compile(name)`, don't you think?
// this snippet is from our product's repo ;)7 -
One year ago I made a resolution to do one of two things: get serious about learning neural networks, or finish one of the side projects (markdown based wiki with some nifty features). Didn't do the first one, and got the second one to about 50%.
Not really happy as I did not complete any goal. Still some decent work was done and built an open source parser. So, I guess I am 50% happy.
What were your achievements this year? Did you achieve 100%?3 -
When your boss informs you that they have moved up RTM from next Friday to tomorrow and you haven't been able to get anyone to do any serious testing for weeks.
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I cringe every time I see someone joke about a new "framework" coming out every other day.
This is a serious problem, guys! Instead of piling up crappy, undocumented "frameworks", why not go to one that works well, and improve it.
It's a lot easier to learn how to design and develop when you're working with others who have been at it a lot longer than you.1 -
Use the pomodoro technique.
(im just reposting this since it didnt happen yet)
Serious part:
Asking for help when you get stuck with a problem helps a lot. But also dont ask every small thing because that gets annoying -
To all who use CSS:
Do you vertically align using flexbox or some weird old hacky method? I just used flexbox throughout a personal project to find out it doesn't work on my mom's computer...
Sorry if this question is too serious for this, but it really bothers me :D12 -
Try to upload ipa archive to iTunes. Service is interrupted. Again. Fuck you apple! I was trying to upload that fuck for six damn u punk ass times. Why apple? Fuck you! I'll put the archive on a stick an ram it right into your ass you shitty fuck! JUST TAKE MY BINARY RIGHT NOW!
Don't take it to serious. I'm okay 😎 -
How many started of development as a hobby and will to create something awesome and then got soaked into is so much that at a later stage in life you are really not left with any option because you invested all your time and health into sitting front of computers ? This is serious question and it would be great if someone experienced, like who is in their late twenties or thirties answer it !7
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That moment you find out that python is very sloppy when it comes to scopes. It seems that variables declared in loops are callable in function scopes. So this code actually does not give any errors:
for i in range(6):
print i
print(“out of loop scope”, i)
Now I’m just like: WTF! That can cause some serious errors when you’re not aware of this thing. I don’t know any other language that has this property...4 -
!dev&&!rant
Got short listed for interview for admission in another College
Maybe you all might give tips on what should be I be like in my first serious interview
Interview will majorly focus on how oriented are we towards research in computer science5 -
I got downvoted in stackoverflow because the guy had two problems. One he mentioned in the question, everyone answered that. The problem persisted because there was another problem too. And I kindly mentioned the problem. I currently have two downvotes on that answer. And I bet you, the answer is correct and working. I even created a codepen.3
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I still wonder why there's this "a man writes more optimised code than compiler" stuff. Why?
Compiler is automated work, in the worst case it should be able to create multiple e.g. asms and compare the time, right? You can dump all instructions into compiler, it should be able to choose the right one even if it would compile whole days, right? You can't be possibly serious with such a statement.
No "time" arguments, please.2 -
In the beginning, even those who are remotely involved with the task/project want to contribute to it. Over the time, as they realise that there is some serious work to do, one by one the turn quiet and drop out.
But as soon as you take action to make sure that the whole thing is going to work out in the end, they come back complaining because they feel that you went over their heads.
WTF?! -
They increased 1 single file to have over 1.6 million records of data and bow the processing takes 12h to complete. They want me to improve the current bash scripts to decrease this processing time down to max 5 hours. Are you serious rn. Do i look like a magic fcking wizard 🧙🏿♂️🪄15
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I spent half an hour writting all my studies down in a job looking site in order to apply for a job (apparently, a CV isn't enough), and when finally everything is done, apparently you need to PAY for premium in order to apply for certain jobs in that site? Are they actually serious?2
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ok you go to your fancy tiled cabinet to do some serious shit. how you pleasure yourself while doing it?
1. devrant algo
2. devrant recent
3. devrant wk
... something else?1 -
I'm so tired when I got up. Didn't sleep much last night. Working on a Sunday night till 2AM because I did not work the week on the project I was given.
This is not happening for the first time, I sleep late around 3AM to do my work, as day is too noisy and distracting. Attend some meetings during the day and get lazy in the evenings. Work during nights and then the next day I'm all tired for daily stand up.
How do you people tackle this schedule? I need serious advices.5 -
!Rant
#serious inputs needed
I need help identifying that one big problem that all devs face. Irrespective of the language, domain, etc.. And I wanna solve it. I need your inputs on what bothers you the most, and what tech you work with.. Then we can upvote the comments that are applicable to all of us.. I'll setup a github once we come to a conclusion2 -
devRanters!
Do any of you find that you can type the solution faster than GitHub Copilot recommends?
That's how you know you're senior 😏
Also, on a serious note, does it only support JavaScript / TypeScript? Didn't really take time to investigate.
I thought there was also a feature you could tell it what to code and it would try to write a solution. Haven't really seen how to do that yet.7 -
Hi All, Long time lurker here...
I made a non serious GIMP version control project at a hackathon years ago but was too busy to really work on it more than a little at a time, mostly because I was still in college. I mostly do academic programming at work now so I have no idea how mainstream or maintainable this is as a webapp, but I finally put it on a Linode just a few days ago for fun so I wanted to share and take any criticism you guys have to offer! (if any of you dabble in graphic design stuff on the side)
https://gimphub.co
Thanks for looking and hopefully I can get enough points for an avatar soon ^_^ -
What wrong with the MNC's. I am trying to create a new folder for email templates in DEV server. I have been busy for two days to take the approval from Manager, Infra team and architect. Are you serious two productive days to give approval to create a folder???
Fuck the system. Fuck you MNC. -
i got a dev!rant nostress ball, because i didn't have any serious rants and used the app for fun purposes.
edit: do you think maybe it can also help in debugging, although it's nothing close to being a duck. -
rant: Been an Apple user for 5+ years and I haven't been too excited about the MacBook Pro lineup's direction. Not a huge fan of a gimmick like the Touch Bar, the fact that a $3,000 laptop only has a 500gb SSD, or the questionable commitment Apple has to OS X.
!rant: That said- anyone else here taking a serious look at Linux? Are you debating it? Made the switch? I really want to make the jump when I get a new laptop.4 -
"Take this test," they said.
I did, and scored 81/100. Not great, but not bad.
"Not bad," they said. "But you took too much time and didn't show us experience in JavaScript."
I completed all tasks in the allotted time and did them all in JavaScript. What else am I supposed to do for you people?1 -
Does anyone have a solid (or at least working) solution to voice programming/voice control? Trying to find something before my tired/sore arms/hands problem evolves to something more serious... Also, if anyone has gone through something similar, feel free to share you story1
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Just wanna rant about something in general..
I'm quite serious about time commitments. I can't stand people who change their words at the last minute because all these weeks they were just fuckng around not preparing and doing that had to be done.
For fucks fake, we have been discussing every intricate details of things that had to be done!!
And even worse, they expect you to bear the consequence and delay all your plans for their convenience..
:/ -
Intelligent Algorithms do not understand role playing, acting or humor.
Combined with permanent unique identifiers issued by social media companies for so-called "security" and moderation reasons, will systematically cause a wide range of serious consequences.
You can not reason with an algorithm.2 -
A friend of mine came to ask help for their capstone project.
Adding AI feature to a capstone project that doesn't solve the problem.
Their professor wants to add that because IT students can do it by just downloading a package.
Like, are you serious??
They teach "Hello World" and expects an output of very complex application. -
I always seem to realize that a bug is serious only when I have to remove my earphones.
Do you agree ?3 -
Oh come the fuck on.
I’m trying to build a SwiftUI app and I can’t decrypt a video while it’s buffering using DisptchQueue? Wtf do you mean “UI must live on the main queue?” I AM running it on the main queue and it fucking crashes!!!
Please, if anybody knows how to use DispatchQueues correctly in Swift, HIT ME UP! I NEED SERIOUS HELP IN THIS BITCH -
305 RAMAC - now, that's serious hardware! Who wants a walk-in closet when you can have a walk-in computer?
https://youtube.com/watch/... -
People giving advice: Have you told your boss how you didn't like his approach? If you don't tell them they can't improve.
me: No, but it's easier to just find another job than risk getting fired. Another day he asks me to do dumb stuff is another day of wage earned while I'm given permission to put off the more serious stuff -
There is something serious about web browser extensions and the risk your data might be compromised just because of a simple stupid extension. You might harden the security of your machine and forgot about what you have installed as extensions, alot of people do not realize the risk because they simply install and give permissions as is.
The question is how to spot a malicious extension?19 -
If someone is proud about using Alpha Five Software for developing... You just upgraded from MS Access to MS Access++... And you suck...
Go and learn some serious PL's and tools...1 -
Clean code is the biggest bullshit in software development history. Oris it agile/scrum? Can’t decide yet.
Note: A new contender arrives with anti-nested coding cult. You hide your deep nested logic away from main logic block, so it is easier to maintain… Said probably by someone who never coded serious software.4 -
Fixing a pretty serious bug affecting a core functionality but that no one has noticed and no one will thank you for fixing
OR
Continue working on your feature2 -
So my boss tells me that industry standard for serving images is that you have one image on the server that is approximately 3x larger than the largest size you need it to be and resize it on the client side as you need. However, a lot of the tutorials I have seen online lead me to believe that is not true. Is it? Because I have to serve up a whole lot of 150kb images for something I didn't even want to do in the first place and it's causing serious performance issues, even with lazy loading.5
-
Its kinda true. Also this is a rant about "my girl": She had a boyfriend till the first october and we met some while before it. We had sex, she dropped her boyfriend and said "i hope you mean this between us serious". I mean it serious, but she is like "i don't know if we should be together". Now i followed this path and got rid of an other girl because of her (if|else) and she doesn't know if she wants to be together with me. Wtf girl. Also she types "yas" instead of "yes". I don't know what to do.13
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I keep hearing: "Laravel is better than CakePHP", "CakePHP is just for prototyping, not for serious development", "if you want to do it properly, use Laravel", "Laravel is a lot more powerful than CakePHP" etc. etc.
Why is it that people think Laravel is so superior?
Anyone who can give proper arguments for this? because when I ask those persons tho elaborate, they can't...10 -
Question!
Where do you guys get your daily news about Tech, IT, Dev Related things?
I want something with push notifications and just serious sources without bullshit infos.9 -
Fellow Ansible developers. I'm talking to you.
Are you freaking high or simply your morning pills have some serious side effects?
How do you manage to introduce a number of regressions in every fucking major release? How on earth you feel comfortable in breaking API in a minor and even bug fix releases?
You need to get me right. I really like Ansible project but those things... I imaging you every other day as a bunch of hamsters trying to find an exit in a shitty labyrinth which you call the codebase.
If you will not stop to eat and smoke those things this would became a lot worse indeed.3 -
trying to clean off my mac (yes i managed to fill nearly 1 terabyte)
and holy shit whoever is closest to guessing the size (in Gb, yes it's that bad) of the old 🤡 startup i worked for wins...
god yet another detriment to the years of my life wasted
i'm also still on node 18 lol, totally missed the maintenance date on that one
my life is in shambles
serious question - would you be willing to pay $1 a year or something stupidly cheap for emails when a software goes into maintenance? i sure as hell would pay for that5 -
[serious (second) post]
I am student in computer science in 2nd year, and I want to increase my skills. This is why I am searching a team which is on a (or many) free software project. I assume that I will not help "a lot" on the project because of m'y low skills. So, if someone is ready to learn me something, I am okay.
I have bascis on C and C++, JS, and mid-level on JAVA and PHP. I am motivate to help any open source project and to learn something. So, if you want me in your team, and if you are ready to learn me how to code better, please leave a comment.
I am from France (Belfort) if you want to know my localisation1 -
I truly believe that a back end needs to know about front end as much as a front end needs to know about back end.
And a more serious belief is that project managers / owners need to know about both. Thank you.3 -
Serious question. When was the time you actually said "Do you really think I was born yesterday?" to someone you work with and for what reason?4
-
I usually like sticking to a distro but when the DE I wanted to try and like at the moment in time couldn't be loaded onto manjaro without serious intervention I am deciding to try out void linux with anyone has any tips you can tell me5
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Giving them a bit test of programming told them young man..young gal, if you wana go far with this shit you have to be serious....You cnt just wake up from ur sleep en say you wana code..Nop it takes passion and practice.
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So, what's the process for starting to create your idea? I have one, I've given it a minimal amount of thought, a very high level overview, the purpose and some features that I want. Probably just a free service because it's (probably) not anything too serious. So what now? Market research or just start typing? Planning architecture? This is my first time that I've had an idea I think is worth pursuing. What have you all done?
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I am starting as a full stack developer next month. This is my first serious job after college.
Do you think that the first three months used as probationary period are to figure out if you can handle the job?
The position includes some technologies I know very little about, but I'm hoping to figure them out fast as soon as I get my hands on the code (with no documentation). How do you learn once you start on a new job? Contact with co-workers will be reduced since I will start by working remotely. Any suggestions on how I can pick up speed and gain as much knowledge in a short amount of time without burning out?9 -
Religion/Alt. Medicine/Modern Politics/Confirmation Bias/End Of The World explained for techies :
👤 : "There seems to be a serious bug in production"
🕷️ : "We only have features, do you have a last wish?"2 -
!rant && feeback
So I have to do a small college project where I have to mock myself running for president (of a country of choice, in my case USA, also doesn't have to be 100% serious) and to help my campaign I have to make a onepager. Today I've made a mock up for my design and I was wondering what you guys think, so if you have some feedback please do let me know :)
https://dropbox.com/s/...2 -
on serious node!
is nodejs overhyped, irrespective of the fact that now you only need to learn one language as full stack developer!!2 -
[Serious] Senior Java Devs, one of the lead dinosaurs of my workplace convinced the higher-ups to make various applications from a new contract using a framework called ZK.
What do you think of this framework and what is your opinion of the overall feeling the java community have about it?
(I'm not personally found of this kind of approach to developing and I'm kinda new to the Java language)8 -
How did the pandemic screw you and your life plans? Tbh there are more serious matters connected with that but just for the sake of my lifeplan: I paid off my debts and was ready to start my travelling spree and visit the countries everybody already have been and maybe go nomad. But pandemic hit, and i am right now stuck in my life which is clawing its way to become my permanent reality.4
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!dev
The conversation with my friend.
friend: "So you are getting a new Job?"
me : "Yea, maybe I will start a business tho. btw , what you do for a living now?"
friend: "I fap for living."
me: "aacha? come on serious."
friend :"serious only I am telling. I donate my sperm for RM150 per sample."
me: "WTF"
friend: "yeap. and that's how I made more virgin marry with my donation."
me: "YUCKS, stop it." -
You gotta love the actual useful stuff from XKCD.
Sometimes they apply extreme seriousness to some really unimportant stuff, like the tik-tak-toe cheat sheet.
At other opportunities, they hide some jokes completely serious looking stuff, like in 1688 the map identification chart.