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Got a phone call: I got an error, what do I do?
Me: what kind of error?
Her: I closed it.
Me: what did it say?
Her: I don't know, it was a window with "ok" and "cancel"
Me: why didn't you read it?
Her: I don't understand this computer language.
/me dies a little inside.
There is nothing quite as stupid as people who refuse to read their own language as soon as it appears on a screen.
They make those things for a reason.
This happens too often.8 -
11 kids in Sydney recreated Martin Shkreli's drug for just $2. The moral of the story? When you do cool shit like this, it's ok if you don't wear pants!
12 -
Me : You should try this app, its great!
Friend: What is about?
Me : A place where programmers and developers tell jokes and complain to each other
Friend : But you can do that i real life too
Me : But now you don't have to leave your computer to do that1 -
Manager: "How long do you think this will take?"
My brain:
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Me: "Shouldn't take too long"4 -
Interviewer : "Do you know SQL ?"
Me : "Yes sir. I know SQL and I prefer NoSQL."
Interviewer : "So you know SQL and you don't want to do it for our company ?? This is arrogant !! "9 -
So Last year December my cousin see's me making a basic 3D game in Unity and says he wants to do programming.
Me: No, you don't want that. Become a doctor like your parents want you two.
Him: I'll do it.
Me: Ok. If you want to suffer, i'll teach you some basic C#
Me: *Shows him basic C# code in visual studio*
Him: *Not paying attention* Cool. When can i make games?
Me: That's not how this works. Where do you intend to study?
Him: M.I.T!
Me: You better get your ass infront of that fucken computer, google and youtube the shit out of you, matter of fact i'll get you a shit bucket so you don't have to get up.
Him: I don't have to go so hard now, i'm only 16.
Me: *Facepalm* That's why you have to do this now.
...7 months later...
(Yesterday)
Me: Show me how you make a basic calculator application.
Him: I don't know how to do that, you didn't show me.
Me: *laughing*
Him: Whats so funny?
Me: You're screwed *still laughing*
Don't get me wrong. He's a smart kid. Just needs to fucken do something if he wants his goal.13 -
I make games, I don't do frontend fucking webdev; this isn't my fucking job and I don't fucking understand it. Fuck you, client with money. (Yes that is a CSS for beginners page, no I don't care. Screw you.)
19 -
Friend: Can u get me Linux OS on this pendrive?
Me: sure, Ubuntu would do?
Friend: Don't u have Linux?
Me: *facepalm*13 -
Me: "sorry boss I have a burnout, I don't feel to..."
Boss: "which part of the project you can't do?"
Me: "is a burnout, I can't go..."
Boss: "cmon it's easy!"
Me: "..."
8 months without proper holidays produce this.10 -
Please don't put this on your resume and definitely don't list a language at 50% just because you used it once for a project.
We both know you're over exaggerating and all you'll do is waste my time.
13 -
Co-worker: I need a proxy to do this task.
Me: Why do you need a proxy?
Co-worker: So all these reviews for the company I'm posting don't look sketchy.
Me: Download the TOR browser.
Co-worker: That's kinda sketchy I don't wanna do that.
So falsifying information about the company is okay, but using a browser to do it anonymously is right out.1 -
PM: Please do this immediately.
Me: But the other deadline, I...
PM: I don't care, do this first!
Me: Alright, fine.
(at the end of the day)
PM: Why is the thing you were doing not finished yet!?4 -
Project manager, a few months ago: "why did you do this task? It's all wrong. It's a backend task, not a frontend task so you shouldn't have done it. Don't do it again."
PM, today, regarding the same task in a different project: "why didn't you do this task? The project isn't complete without it. It isn't right. You should have done it."
Are you fucking serious? If we do it it's wrong, if we don't do it it's wrong too. So why should I bother? Seriously, fuck you you piece of shit.2 -
friend: "oh my god i have a virus!"
me: "let me see..."
me: *ticks the "don't allow this page to create any more alerts" checkbox in chrome, then closes the page*
friend: "how did you do that?"
me: "magic!"3 -
My girlfriend always wanted to have kids while I don't want any, when she does eventually talk about having kids I'll make her this deal "I'll give you a kid if you can close this vim window with out googling how to do it"
It's fail proof9 -
Boyz, I don't feel like Windows 10 is collecting enough information from me. What can I do about this? I want to give everything to Microsoft <311
-
Why the fuck would people use non English html classes and IDs, or just randomly mix languages. Please don't fucking do this14
-
FUCK THIS GOD DAMN ESSAY I DON'T WANT TO WRITE 2500 FUCKING WORDS ABOUT SHITTY SCRUM OR SOME OTHER BULLSHIT. WHY DO I HAVE TO WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT THIS SHIT WHEN I SHOULD BE CODING. FUCK ESSAYS FUCK ESSAYS FUCK ESSAYS!!19
-
Don't put a hack and leave comments like "// HACK: Remove this later". It's gonna stay there forever. Trust me. Do clean codes from the start!2
-
Dad: “Hey son.. I have this new software called blablablu.."
Me: "yeah?.."
Dad: "well it's not working.. there's an error and it's not doing what I want.."
Me: "okay.. I don't know.. sorry.. I don't know that software.. I can't help you.."
Dad: "you're studying computer science... you should know what to do.."
You ****ing serious?! -.-14 -
On my way to buy a second hand Oneplus One!
I don't think that not being able to remove Google services from my phone because this phone isn't supported by open source roms is a valid excuse anymore, especially since the new dutch surveillance law goes into plan the 1st of May.
I don't have that much money but I can afford this second hand device right now so let's do this.
Will install an open source rom without Google apps onto it!26 -
Today I Learned that the Hooli logo, from Silicon Valley, exists in the FontAwesome library.
I don't know what to do with this information.
11 -
People ask me why I don't use Windows 10 anymore.
This.*
*(Yes I can opt out of all that but how many average users do a fresh install of Windows?)
13 -
Phone rings
-Hello! Do you have an a website?
- yes I have. Who's this
- is it running
- yes
- hold if otherwise it will might run away
- - hangs up - -
Phone rings again
- hello do you have a website
- no I don't 😠
- didn't I told you to hold it -
<label>
Name</label>
I don't know what kind of maniac formats their HTML like this. How do you sleep well at night?2 -
"Can you do this?"
Sure, give me the information I need...
"We don't have all of it yet"
So I can't do it then
"Well when can you do it"
When you get the information
"Do you need *all* of it"
Well, it's either I do half a job and waste my time, or get it all done in one shot
"The client wants it tomorrow"
When will we have the information?
"We don't know"
Well they aren't having it tomorrow then, are they...
Sales people... don't care *how* things work, as long as they get a tick against their name to show they've sold something...3 -
Today I found this sticker in the Microsoft merchandise shop.
Now I don't know what to do. I find this epic, but I don't really like Windows. 😥
10 -
Please don't comment in front of the code like this:
doSomething(); // does something
Please just stahp
Do this:
// does something
doSomething();
Much better and friendly for everyone10 -
A: Can you tell me your opinion about this? Please, be honest.
Me: Ok, I think you could do it in a different way, but let's talk about what you did and see how to make it better...
A: I don't think so, I think this is the best way to do it.
Me: Oh, OK.
A: Why are you always complaining about my job?
Me: Well, you just asked me, and I work on this too, so I thought...
A: I don't think you're collaborative enough with me!
Me [walking away]: Oh, OK...6 -
*Working on a personal project*
Random guy:- it sucks :|
Me :- idgaf about what you think ..So please f off -__-
*Paid project*
Client :- what's this? This is ridiculous..I don't like it at all
Me:- okay , I'll do something about it .
-__- money changes everything3 -
Made the mistake of mentioning ISO27001 security standard near management.
- "What?? Why don't we have that certificate?! Why are you not thinking about this?"
- "We don't need it."
- "Of course we do! we must have the highest standards!! Lets hire some lawyers and security consultants to help us get certified!"
A week later:
"Ok, turns out we don't need it."
Satan give me strength...9 -
Let me just delete this symbolic link and leave it copying the folder to the ssd real quick while I go to lunch...
Lessons learned:
1 - don't put a fucking / at the end of `rm -rf /path/to/link`
2 - don't ignore the warning of it being a folder after trying to `rm /path/to/link`
3 - backup your fucking dev database too
4 - don't do stuff hungry
SHIT!! FUCK!!3 -
"PR rejected because you didn't do localisation"
"Wait, is that a requirement?"
"Yes"
"But there is no localisation in any of the 10 repos in this project!"
"Yes"
"So how do I know if I am expected to..."
"You don't, until I reject your PR"4 -
— I heard you like programming and are quite good at it.
— Don't know about the latter but I do like it.
— Cool. Can you help me set up this Excel spreadsheet?
Actual conversation I had about two months ago...3 -
Part of an honest interview :
- What is your biggest weakness?
+ Triceps femoris muscles
- Why do you want this job?
+ Earning money to buy food so that I don't die of hunger.
- How do you handle pressure?
+ By shouting the word fuck
- What are your goals?
+ Have a cheek in bed every night.
- We will be in touch.
+ you never call, do you?
3 -
About to walk into a second round job interview. It will take my commute from an hour and a half to 15 minutes, be a much larger scale company and teams, with actual schedules and communication. I might actually cry if I get it.9
-
This is a conversation my friend and I had.
Me: let me just delete this file
*rm -rf filename*
Frnd: what does the rf do?
Me: Don't know man I just do it coz the memes tell me to.6 -
Don't buy the "We're bleeding edge, agile and embrace devops.". Those who proclaim that the loudest are the ones that think they do, but don't.
Oh, and any place that refers to employees as "tech ninjas" or "superstars" or anything cringy like that. Stay away.
This was more how to avoid shitty places. So to find a good place to work, use this statement in your search:
if (!<this_rant>)
{
... // maybe you're lucky
}9 -
I'm so weary of JS right now but every time i want to code something in another language i just think:
"Why don't i just do this in JS. Would be much easier."
Please help me.13 -
"If you want to be a good developer then be good at one programming language." - I don't know why but I do not agree with this.7
-
Professor: Envision a person as an object, what methods would it have?
Student: Run
Prof: Yes, good example.
Other student: Jump
Prof: yes, people also do that
Me: Die
Prof: Well yes, but I'd prefer we don't take this any further27 -
I like this one the most, it was a gift from a girl I had a unrequited crush with.
It was like: "hey I make stickers, you can have this one, but it's a little girly, do you mind?" and I was "(😍) of course I don't mind"
2 -
God damn fucking shit.
Now I know again why I don't do apps.
This is a app as simple as can be:
Enter a link, click a button, do a http request, download a file.
BUT FUCKING HELL WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING RETARDED ANDROID?!
I'm not familiar with java but i don't care why is this so freaking unintiutiv to get shit done? Why are there thousands of ways and none works or atleast at a easy way? Make an object for this, make an object for that...
THIS IS RETARDED.
In PHP a simple "file_get_contents" would do the job. I were even down for some curl shenanigans if it were an easy implementation. BUT GOD DAMN.
URL url = new URL("http://fuckinghardcoded.com")
Oh no can't compile because that MIGHT be an invalid URL. Ok try catch this or just tell the rest of the Programm to watch out for this bad boy cause he might throw a MalformedURLException.
Ditch that and try volley. Everything is document except how to fire that queue! Does it do that by itself? Do I really have to do an override to a function while declaring? CMON ON I'M A WEBDEV IS THIS TRYING TO DO A FUCKING CALLBACK AND IS THIS TRYING TO BE AN ANONYMOUS FUNCTION??? Why is this so frustrating and confusing? I'm also mad at myself this is dropdead simple shit but I can't get it to work. Fuck this, fuck java , fuck android and fuck myself10 -
Remember when I said don't launch on a Friday?
Coming into work on Monday with a broken site is exactly why we don't do that...
Now I get to deal with fixing this issue while also dealing with complaints from managers who act like I didn't warn them.
Inspiration for alcoholism.5 -
How intellij handles syntax errors while reformating code vs eclipse:
Intellij: I'm not sure what you want to do there, so I'll just make slight adjustments.
Eclipse: Yeah, I don't understand this so fuck your whole file. -
12:30pm - I can't code any more, what does this function even do?
12:45pm - What's a function?
12:59pm - I still don't know what a function is
01:00pm - *Eats Lunch*
01:05pm - My code makes perfect sense6 -
Interviewer: Sell me this pen
He: Hey do you want to buy this pen ?
Interviewer: No
He: You might need it to write stuff
Interviewer: No, I don't need it.
He: Ok, no problem.. Bye
Interviewer: What are you trying to do?
He: Trying to be a part of a company that doesn't sell stuff to people they don't need or want ..
Interviewer:
He:
Interviewer: Please give my pen back..7 -
I don't get all this hate for windows, it works great, you can do everything on it and who wants to "customize" his os is just ranting uselessly...
I'm using windows to write this message and I'm not having any prob...
8 -
Client sends me their "about us" page in an image (second time they've done this after I've asked for text versions). Do you hate me or are you just a fucking moron. You don't write a book in an image. You don't send emails in an image. No you send it in fucking text. 😤2
-
Yesterday I was told to not mix HTML with PHP.
My reaction:
Why not? And how else should I do?
Don't get a answer to this.10 -
Duuude!? What the fuck?!
First weekend off so I can slack around & now this?! O.o
I don't know what I expected.. I didn't evem do anything to it (yet)..
6 -
This kind of random stuff happens to me often:
*comes home from going out*
*wants to sleep badly*
Brain: heyyy, why don't we take a look at some vps discounts!!!
Me: please, I want to FUCKING sleep.
Brain: oh come on...
Me: pls don't do this to me..
Brain: But vps discounts...
Me: oh FUCK YOU, I'll go look up some stuff.
My brain can be weird and annoying.8 -
My situation: I got computer,router,phone,printer etc. all at one place
Now I decided to do some cable management...
I don't really know how to do cable management so I grabbed some duct tape ... This area now looks like this
6 -
I want to be in the terminal, but I don't want to do work. So I type:
brew install cowsay
Now, I have cowsay. This buys me an hour of entertainment.
6 -
Me: Are you sure you want this in the acceptance test procedure?
Lead: Yes.
Me: I'm just saying, we don't have any requirements for this feature so it doesn't really belong there.
Lead: Just put it in.
Me: Are you sure? It's a lot of work for something that isn't even required to be there.
Lead: Go do it.
Me: Okay.
*I do the work and it goes to peer review*
High ranking person from another team: I don't see any requirements traceability. Why is this in here if there are no requirements?
Me: WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GODDAMN QUESTION!?3 -
Me: 'alriiight let's run this code here'
Logs: 'lol the function you did is deprecated. how about you don't do that, and do the right thing instead'
What was the right thing?
I don't know. It's not on their documentation in their site.
Thanks, js devs :) you guys are the absolute best3 -
I need to stop doing this,
"Fk I have this, this, and this due tomorrow. Well time to implement this cool new thing I found yesterday in my personal project. *2am* okay if I sleep for 4.3 hours and then..."
Why don't I just do required stuff first so I don't have to stress?!1 -
goddammit Microsoft, why do I have to remove your fkking internet explorer icon and store icon after every update! noo I don't want it in my bar. gtfo! leave my settings as they were! How hard can it be? Think: does this fuck up someone s personal settings? if yes , DON'T DO IT.5
-
Working with people who don't use and refuse to use keyboard shortcuts.
I DONT KNOW IF I CAN DO THIS4 -
So we have Oncall system. Every month I get one working weekend.
Now senior engineers and lead are assholes. They think they can bully us. They are putting their Oncall work on our heads.
I refused to do it. But my partner in Oncall agreed to take up their weekend Oncall and in return they would do our weekday. I don't see how that is fair enough.
I refused to do it still. My partner apparently ended up doing it alone this weekend.
I don't FUCKING need to lick anyone's ass here! I don't FUCKING need to do these things to be in their good books! Waiting for the time when I saw GOODBYE TO THESE FUCKING ASSHOLEZZZZ4 -
Is this learning job cpu intensive or memory intensive?
I don't know and I don't give a flying fuck, because it's 6:20pm and I have not found any of my favorite servers free to rerun this shit the whole fucking week, so this server (which I have actually killed before, btw) can suck a dick and do its fucking job.
🎤🖐️11 -
gotta love them comments:
#TODO: move this,
#TODO: deprecated,
#TODO: fix this,
#TODO: DON'T DO THIS,
#TODO: refactor,
#TODO: CHANGE THIS
I shit you not6 -
Just saw this on FB..
Well I don't do much Webdev but that won't work for sure.
The first closing bracket ends the function Block -.-
Nice try Marketing team
9 -
https://phoronix.com/scan.php/...
And here's the thing: Trovalds is no superhuman being or something. Gates didn't do the impossible. They all had this "uh fuck that I may correct that later" moment.
Don't strive for perfection, do stuff outta passion my dudes and dudettes.5 -
As for programming: (will do a cyber one later)
Don't *ALWAYS* only study/learn programming solely for learning it as this can be demotivating at times, find a cool project to do and learn while developing that!
This is how I learned programming in a fun way :)5 -
The website of the italian post service is "closed" between 23:45 and 00:15, everyday.
I don't know if something like this happens in other countries...
And do you know when I really need to access it?
ALWAYS IN THESE 30 MINUTES, not the others 1.410 of the day!
P.S.
What do you think, what could be a valid reason to "close" a web service?
I thought about backup, but other services don't have this problem.
4 -
A little back story:
A dev who left already implemented a system and modeled the data like he doesn't even care because he was going away in one month anyway.
This sucker here inherited the responsibility to remodel this fucking clusterfuck of data.
I was trying to do a good work here until today but some things came to my mind :
I don't care.
They don't care.
Fuck it.
I'm gonna do the same shit and the next person can suck ma'dick.
I have better things to do.
Look, I'm gonna do a lazy job that is gonna be a million light years better than what this sucker did anyway.1 -
My ass of a supervisor threw yet another bomb my way.
He basically said I would fire you if I could, but I don't have a valid reason, however I will not give a good grade for your dissertation because you don't do exactly what I told you. (not exact words, that was just the gist)
So I need to start looking for a new supervisor and a new department. He is not letting or helping me grow. I can't be under this fucking much stress, do this much fucking work and stay sane.
Gonna go cry now. Bye.21 -
105 pages of information security policy to read through before getting through onboarding that could have been summarized as: "This is 2022. Don't be an idiot."
Also 40 pages of code of conduct that could have been summarized thusly: "This is 2022. Everyone is offended by everything. Shut your cakehole, put your head down, don't make eye contact, and just do your job."3 -
Looks like the idiot changed their mind quite too early... This time ama do "1 != 1" cause I don't know what might come next. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
8 -
This is what I love about fellow devs - they know what's best, you don't need to ask something like "please keep adding xyz to your post so we can see if it...". We just do it. :3
2 -
Guy studies programming for a year.
Guy: I am going to start this amazing project wanna help
Me: Sure what is it
Guy: ***Long story of a decent idea***
Me: Sure Ill help, what do you need me to do
Guy: Only a few functions
A few days later...
Guy: Hey I don't where to start or how I should do it can you help me with like THE WHOLE PROGRAM?
If you haven't gathered from this story. Don't be that one guy who has an idea but doesn't write or make a plan for it as your just going to waste other peoples energy and resources.8 -
Boss: "do you have a minute?"
Me: "sure"
Boss: "I have this problem, can you just stop doing whatever you are doing and fix it for me?"
Me internally: *no I don't, what I'm doing right now is fixing another one of your problems for which you've interrupted other work already"
Me: "Yeah sure, gimme some time"
Can't afford to fail my internship and I don't want a shitty work environment which I why I don't speak my mind...
But man this is tiring...2 -
Just saw a job ad for a company they were asking for one developer they wanted software developer x 7 and senior developer x 2.
How cheap is that? If you want to hire people do so but don't bundle them up, the description for what is required is funny too, I love how companies don't even know any standard way of asking for a specific role just blurt you need this this and this senior is that plus knows how to lead, cool.
Is this really a real requirement: "Visual Studio experience"?
Or is this just some piss take?2 -
Me: so where do I change this variable?
Ex-developer: I have no idea
Me: okayyyyy... So where did you get this codebase?
Ex-developer: I created it
Me: and you don't know how to change this variable?
Ex-developer: honestly mate, I was pretty high at the time
Me: *hangs up phone*2 -
Taxi Driver: Do you like this song Sir?
Me: Not sure, I don't know it!
Taxi Driver: Alexa, change the song...
Me:...4 -
The first things a person tells me when I come over to help them:
10%: I don't understand what to do
15%: Why is there an error? (mostly typos)
15%: I don't understand this error. (debugging required)
60%: Wtf, why is it working now?
I feel like my sole presence makes bugs disappear 😎3 -
So this just happened...don't test on production kids (....sometimes you have no choice BUT DON'T F**KING DO IT OK!?)
6 -
Protip: don't drink gin and try to install stuff on a client's NAS while logged in as root.
Thank god I changed my mind and decided to do this another time...3 -
FINALLY fixed a stupid website issue. Absolutely nothing to do with my job, but it's also no-one else's job - the website was apparently contracted out years ago and everyone just let it go when they saw this thing.
...also 'finally' refers to the fact that it's been bugging me since I interviewed several months ago. I spent longer finding the thing I was looking for than I did fixing it2 -
Recently in a project of mine people started to raise tons of issues and suggesting fixes "just slap this module on it", "just do this", "just do that". And no respect for the project whatsoever. Code contributions? Don't even think about it.
The users raising these do not know what language the project is written in, they do not know whether it supports modules at all (let alone that particular one), and they have no idea whatsoever what the code is like, or how this suggestion 99% of the time would not at all integrate with the overall structure of the project. And aside from all that, don't fucking tell me what to do with my project!
My question is, how do you deal with these people? All I can think of is "wontfix™️" or even "cantfix™️" in some cases. Given that this is an endless slew of users, anything long-term?1 -
My manager: Hey if you are stuck don't be afraid to go ask the team in charge of a module for help.
Also my manager when I dare to ask a team when stuck: I feel like we are wasting this other teams time. You should probably try to figure this out on your own.
Damned if I do, Damned if I don't.
fml1 -
Did an app for my college.
Everyone liked the features in it.
But when it came to the money part, (I didn't ask the actual cost, I only asked then 10% of actual standard cost) they were like improve it more, do this do that ("for free").
I held onto "If you're good at something, don't do it for free".
Just wasted my time in developing that.2 -
Manager: yo I need a time line for this shit.
Me: I don't know how long it takes.
Manager: tell me how long it takes.
Me: I can tell you what can be done in next couple hours. I don't even know what will happen tomorrow.
Manger: now tell me this time shit.
Me: .......
Seriously, dear fellow ranter. How do you estimate timeline? Your timeline is changing.5 -
I just told my director that the solution for a particular problem that we have involves Machine Learning. For which I had already applied a VERY small app to make sense of an old database to make a NEW one since the old one broke every notion of how a db is supposed to be set (meaning that I recreated the project from scratch)
And on the same message I told him that I was not willing to do it using M.L since I was not paid enough to bring this level of heat to the institution.
Normalize telling mfkers that your skills are worth more.
I am paid well, but not enough to out of the blue tell mfkers that my ml based algo can save them./
Fuck em, fuck em hard, fuck em good, fuck em without even using spit.
I don't do this shit because I am paSSiOnate, since there lies the trap: "I mean, I love it so I guess I can do it, I do this on my free time either way" <---- no bitch, shit is expensive on the real world, don't do that wtf is the matter with you? *slaps* companies don't see it as a: "oh shit, employee X can do this! value!" they see it as "greaaaaat, I can save money on this", so fuck em.
Normalize it, y'all are wizards, advisors of kings, no company today survives without I.T. About motherfucking time y'all bitches take this shit by the horns and do with it what you want.
People form third world countries that need work: shit don't apply to you, currently, but we will make it apply to you on the rising, my kings, stay strong.4 -
Do you have a "I don't write bugs" colleague? Put your language equivalent of this around their code and wait.
try:
# their code
except Exception:
print('lmao')4 -
Hello fellow people,
though I'm normally just a lurker, I want to take some time to make some new years resolutions I probably won't follow after a few days, but I do have some small goals I hopefully can achieve.
1. Hopefully not regretting to post this. I get kind of anxious when I think about someone I know could see this. I'm fairly new to this site, so I really don't know what's going to face me.
2. Getting my mental health on the right track.
I could do so much more if I wouldn't be as... occupied with uncomfortable thoughts as of right now, such as feeling as if I am not able to do what I want to do because I'll never achieve anything so why even trying... I want to change that, because I'd be more able to do things I want to do; to have more energy for uni because that's what I originally wanted to do. study computer science because it was and probably is still fun to me. finding the motivation I've had a few months ago.
3. With that follows... trying new things; starting a project and hopefully finishing it.
I don't know. I normally don't do these kind of new years resolution things, but I took this small opportunity, even if it is just for me, to write it down.
Here's to... another chaotic year, as always. But better chaos. I don't know... why am I doing this? This page wasn't meant for this or was it? I'm confused now. I'm sorry if this bothered anyone ^^'9 -
Just an FYI for those that don't know. You can send poop to anyone in the world. There are vendors that do this as a service.
For example: https://poopsenders.com/
Then I realized this is SAAS, Shit As A Service.6 -
Fucking hate when business people says this to me:
- You have no time to do this, we will find somebody else to do it. (EXCUSE ME? how do you know I have no time? If have no time I WILL TELL YOU)
- Your team is too busy, we will outsource that (IF THAT it's a priority, we WILL DO THAT, fuck you, I'll tell you if we need to outsource or not)
- Requirements are too complex to do now. We will think about it and we will tell you, maybe it's just enough to add a column to db (WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS too complex? I didn't even see anything we can call requirement, nor speak with relevant people, so how do you fucking know they are complex if you don't know shit about dev and our platform)
Conclusion
It's true, I have no time, because I don't fucking understand what do you want, so I'm running all day and night doing useless things.2 -
So I had this conversation with my dad
Background : He saw news about some celebrity's Twitter account got hacked.
Dad : Do you know how to hack a Twitter account?
Me : No dad. There are ways for people who do this kind of stuff.
D : But, you studied software engineering!
M : Yeah, but I don't do hacking.
D : Although hacking is not ethical but everyone should know about their field.
*Awkwardly left the room*
Just because I studied computer science doesn't mean that I SHOULD know hacking.
And this is not the first conversation of this kind!4 -
<rant>
Don't fucking tell me to move business logic from the service to the controller. Don't fucking tell me it will enable an "event driven architecture." Don't fucking use Angular for this project if you're just gonna shit on best practices and write convoluted, messy, inconsistent code and force your coworkers to do the same!
</rant> -
do you guys code while you're sick??
I'm affected with this flu and I don't even want to open my laptop! -.-14 -
Fucking asshats, don't understand difference between people who do what..
Fucking asshat wants me to edit this image to his preference, I'd happily do it if I knew it how to...but noooooo he wants to convince me that I can do it without even knowing what or how to do...
That's like asking a plumber to fix my car...
5 -
PhD saga:
The applications have closed and yours truly shall await the results, which could come anytime in January or February.
And so I wait. I hate this limbo since there is nothing for me to do to impact the outcome. What's worse is that I am absolutely unmotivated to do anything else. Since this project is literally my dream, and despite how I'm trying to mentally prepare myself in case I don't get in, there's just something in my brain that goes like "nah. I just want this shiney thing. Just this and nothing else". So I don't even know what to do with myself.
*Sigh*5 -
A: "Mate, do the translations"
B: "Fine, but you guys implemented the translation service so repetitively..."
A: "No, this is not repetitive, that's how we need to do it"
*sigh*
PS: Whenever I call the "trans" method, I think of transgender, don't ask why
4 -
Is it just my perception or is everyone here all of a sudden getting unhinged? I don't ever remember this many regulars just going off on each other like they do now. I do feel anxious myself lately.
I am thinking for my own sanity to take a leave for a while.13 -
Is it so much to ask for ability to do my job remotely. I work on a fucking computer, I can do this shit at home. I don't need to drive 50 miles there and back to do my job.
Flexibility is a thing.5 -
I really don't like billing time for things I am not really sure how to do and need time to educate myself on. This happens more often than my wallet is comfortable with and I spend more time learning than making money. How do you go about staying in an estimate or fixed budget when something comes up that you don't know anything about?7
-
The EU is planning to put a law in place that prevents unlimited scrolling of media content.
I don't know how they're going to do this.
I don't know whether I support this.
I don't know who recommended this.
But it was favoured by the majority when it went to vote.45 -
Let's do a REST API interface for our webapplication that is incomplete at funcional level!!!
Let's assist people and companies that can't understand what arguments must be passed, even if we don't know too!!!
This is AGILE!!!!1 -
Back with more features now!
Cuz I don't have anything to do at work
This image is composed of screenshots from season three
3 -
Teammate : Eww, I don't like this part, any better ideas ? Something to add or remove ? Have you find something better ?
Me : What about you ? Did you find something ?
TM : ...
Me : You are free to do whatever you want but if you have no idea and don't do anything, STFU, you are just slowing the team down -
Found this on prod
Don't know who did this but wwhhhyyyy do you need to add foreach loop😅
Just add directly
9 -
What I've learned working in corporations so far:
1. don't think - escalate.
2. don't do - delegate.
I've noticed I'm using those two lines like my motto or smth of sorts recently. I wonder whether this is for the good or not :think:7 -
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. What is this dude talking about?! What am I doing with my life?!?!
Test what? What do I have to do? I didn't study this. I don't know what this API thing is. My life sucks. My job sucks. I suck. I'm stupid, because apparently knowing who or what this API is is essential for being a normal part of society.
I don't even.. oh someone pls kill me.
(No I don't want a detailed explanation what I have to do - I know this is not google and i wont understand it anyways and my husband will torture me with it in the afternoon. Just some sympathy for a finance person who has to deal with this would be nice)
9 -
Well. Fuck.
A sunny monday morning. The sun almost glimpsing over the horizon. I'm on my way to the office, taking a breath of fresh cool air. It is infused by the scent of sweet pastries.
I reach the office, but something is different. Why is the door slightly opened? Carefully I grab the door handle. I do my first step past the doorframe and wooosch. Thick and sticky stuff is running done my spine, finding it's way through my clothes. I feel so un-fucking-believably dirty in this very moment.
This should give you an impression how I felt when I had to change a DNS record in this completely broken setup for just a matter of seconds until the letsencrypt client renewed the certificate.
I'm feeling seriously dirty.1 -
This android app is almost done, little bits remaining but I'm so flipping bored of it that I just don't feel like working on it for another minute. I just want to do the other app. But I must complete this one before going to the next. Must.2
-
Well that's it folks,
Australia has started to shutdown and become the isolated island it once was again, even more so with states shutting down independently.
Atleast we have the intern -
fuck, got to reboot the modem... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
where was i, oh yea -
internet right? It's not like the NBN wasn't designed to have every fucking Aussie using it at once or anything 🙄
https://abc.net.au/news/2020-03-22/...5 -
are there some graphic designers here? 😎
Do you code?
Did you learn some stuff here on devRant? What did you learn?
What do you design mostly?
How do you deal with programmers who don't obey your design specs because they're lazzy fucks? muhaha 😆
how do you think this profession will evolve in the next 10 years?
and you devs, what do you think of us? what are your experiences with designers? good and bad ones?8 -
"How do I make this AI work?"
[Debugs]
[Dirtyphonics and Sullivan King - Vantablack plays in background]
o shit here we go son
[ends up typing its lyrics while testing the chatbot]
Chatbot's response to the clusterfuck: "I don't understand"2 -
After drilling yourself with links and resources, documentation and cant execute what you want. You leave it.
Some time later you go back and you are like why the hell didnt I understand this it's so simple :/ and it literally says what to do.
This is when I became a calm developer. Don't rush yourself. If you want to quickly do something. READ dont just look 🙃
Also, don't persist with understand the official docs. The third party explanations will show you flames 80% of the times if you are learning something new.2 -
! Rant
Quick tip for those of you struggling with a error or bug you can't fix.
But that doesn't effect functionality.
Just wrap the code inside a try catch block and don't do anything inside the catch 😂😂. Saved me a lot of hours in my projects.
Nah I'm joking. Don't ever do this8 -
I can't believe developers are being told to do better when it comes to master/main. Why don't YOU do better and come up with something more worthwhile than this weak shit?1
-
Has it ever happened to you that you don't feel like doing anything at all? And you go in a loop of procrastination and then end up wasting just another day of your life?
I don't know how do I get out of this ...
don't feel I have a passion to do anything in life now 🥺9 -
That moment when you don't want to quit your job because of your cute crushes 😍 in your company and this motivates you to do even better every single day.1
-
This happened at the beginning of my first job:
Me: I want to clarify some things that wasn't specified in my task. I want to see if I need to do them and how I should solve it.
Senior dev: Don't worry about it. If testers pass the task back to you, then you do it. Just do as it is.
Me: 😓2 -
Manager: Tell me what you are looking for in your job, I know this from your coworkers, but not you.
Me: I honestly don't know anymore. After all this time my motivation is gone and I don't know where I'm going.
Manager: If you could go back to school knowing all you know now, what would you do?
Me:...
Me: I don't know.
Manager: maybe try to think about that.
He doesn't realize I've been thinking about this for years.
I stopped caring at some point and just act.
I didn't tell him I was looking for a new job because any energy I had left is being consumed by this company.8 -
"So what we're going to do is sign you up for this basic training we think you need despite your years of proven experience and certifications and a four year degree directly related to the type of training don't count"1
-
Just found this on Reddit
"I used to think that everybody should learn programming. When I first started learning –thinking about how to organize the world in terms of data structures and algorithms– I thought, "Wow, this is such an amazing way to organize information. Everybody should learn to do this!"
I don't think that anymore.
I think there has to be something seriously wrong with you in order to do this work. A normal person, once they’ve looked into the abyss, will say, “I’m done. This is stupid. I’m going to do something else.” But not us, ‘cause there’s something really wrong with us."
Douglas Crockford1 -
Sanity check.
Guys and Gals... Is this normal to hear from your co-worker things like (will try to translate to English):
"I don't know about your sex life, but could you stop fucking around with this website and move to the shop site?"
and
"Don't fuck around and just do it"
I hear this from a guy who is not a programmer.11 -
I don't usually bash on any operating systems, but if I wanted to search for "how to get help in windows 10" on fuckings Bing, I'd do that myself. I'd rather have F1 do something useful.
This was probably MS customer service's idea to make their life easier.2 -
So, I apply for a job and they send me an automated email with my username....and my pasword....in plain text...I should use a different password for my applications....4
-
Co-worker told me my code isn't up to" standard" and I don't follow "relevant convention" because I don't use a space after declaring a class/function AND inside the parentheses:
Me: class MyClass(something):
Her: class HerClass ( something ):
How do you do this personally?9 -
::This app says you need at least 3GB RAM.
::> delete everything there, I don't need anything.
:: uaaaaa.... you can't (long pause... ) do that.
::> I don't need anything from the laptop, delete everything and make the app run.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (he had 2GB ram)1 -
Noob: How do I start my career in web development, do I do a course in Coursera, Udemy, or...
Me: Don't do any of this, use Mozilla MDN web doc.
I really wish the younger me followed this advice when starting up...3 -
wow. I, do, not, want, to work today at all.
I don't think I've ever felt this strongly about first day back to work before.
Guess the previous job was actually interesting :(
I even went to the office on NYD just to do some heads down coding. (but ended up doodling on everyone's empty whiteboards)5 -
Algorithms teacher: I don't know how to work this thing. (computer) ... Students constantly have to go up front and help him do basic computer stuff. Even worse, he types with two fingers! Why education system must you suck so bad???6
-
Project requirements include a database. I don't have permissions to create a new database on the server, so I go to the person that spins up new servers and deals with group policy. They rustle some papers around, looking aggravated, throws up hands and says, "I guess I'm the DBA now..." Well, what the fuck am I supposed to do shithead? Ask the web team to do it? We don't have a DBA. My boss has been gone all week and, really, this isn't a hard task. You check a fucking box.
Whatever, I'll remember this when they need a favor from me.6 -
senior "don't do it like this, there are alternatives"
doesn't mention the alternatives
thanks? i can look into implementing it how you want if you'd elaborate the alternatives....6 -
Do other OP owners have this close all button in the center?
Don't remember if this is there by default or some mod...
I want to move it to the side as I've pressed it a few times by accident....
6 -
Client: I need you to integrate with this API.
Me: ok cool, but what are we doing with it (where does the data go/styling)?
Client: what do think we should do?
Me: well it would be really cool if we did it like this *short and sweet explanation of really cool functionality and design*
Client: I LOVE IT! Let's do it, oh also I need it done by tomorrow...
Me: *GOD DAMNIT, why do you always do this...don't you dare say ok* ok, yeah I can totally do that.
...now at the market stocking up on redbull2 -
I inherited some code today. I am in the process of reworking it to drop into my framework so I can use it with our product. I am seeing this throughout the code...
try:
\do something\
except:
pass
Ahem... HANDLE YOUR DAMN EXCEPTIONS!!! DON'T JUST PASS THEM INTO THE BLACK HOLE OF NOTHINGNESS! FFS!!! Using pass like this means "Fuck it. I don't care if this fails and I want NOTHING to tell management when it does. I want to blindly look into their frustrated eyes and say ..duhh, I don't know why it failed... Fuck troubleshooting. You know what, this job isn't meant for me anyways." My outer voice is politely saying "There is a better way to do this. Please allow me to show you." Meanwhile my inner voice is flipping tables and clubbing baby seals. /rant -
"My generation's obsession with having established careers before 25 has led to everyone being hyper competitive, opportunistic, self-centered and deeply insecure. I wish everyone could relax a bit!"
I came across this quote few days back and I don't know why but this did hit me hard. Every word was so so true, I wish I along with everyone of this age group could relax a bit and enjoy this wonderful life.
Do you feel the same as I do, or is it just me ?10 -
Building on this other rant: https://devrant.com/rants/2168393/...
What other pet peeves you have when chatting or texting? What things grind your gears?
For example:
People.........that type..........long messages................with lots of dots in between.........like they are allergic to the spacebar......
people that don't write any punctuation because they write like they speak and when you speak you don't speak the punctuation right and you also don't speak the question marks right do you agree
People that send a message to you, then after a whole minute has passed…
Hey
Hey
Hey man
R u there?
Heeeeeeeeeeeeey
Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
Call me when you read this ok?
Heeeeeeeeey
H
e
y
:(
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(3 -
Do we have, as developers, some social networks, that could help us to find a companions for developing apps. I don't mean such things like GitHub, where we operate with Open Source software. But, for example, I have an idea, but I'm alone and need more developers to implement this idea. So I need to find those guys who wouldbe ready to join me. Do we have such a communities? Don't you know?2
-
"I don't think we should be playing with our privates {variables} like that" - framework designer
= context =
It was noticed that we have too many setter functions to change private variables just to do unit tests. So we had a small meeting to discuss what to do about this.
Options:
- don't do the test
- ignore till another time (ie: keep the functions till its a problem)
- put the variables into a provider
- use reflection (the above quote was a reaction to this option)6 -
I don't know what's wrong with me..
Within one day I basically lost interest in everything I do. I just don't see the point of all this anymore.
And the bad thing is, that I don't even know where that comes from so suddenly, everything is going fine, but still.. Life just feels like pain at the moment.
Don't want do drag down someone else with me and I sincerely apologise if it's too late to mention it at this point, just hope that maybe someone here can understand what's going on or give me some advice on how to fix my situation.7 -
"I used to be a developer back in the days"
yep ... maybe this is true - but the fact is: I'm the developer and you aren't - do your fucking work and don't bother me with stuff you don't understand ...1 -
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU FUCKING RETARDS USE TWO DIFFERENT AUTHENTICATION METHODS FOR THE PAYMENT AND THE CHECKOUT API AND DON'T EVEN DOCUMENT THIS SHIT PROPERLY!! 🖕2
-
Hey guys how's it going, I just wanted to make a thread kinda rant to discuss various ways to keep devrant free of ads. I think as Devs we can solve this problem. Let's do this ☺
P.S - kindly share your thoughts, don't think it's shit, we can always discuss it.8 -
Video conferencing apps:
Competition is great. It just sucks when you have to use all the competition.
Things I want to be able to do:
- Test Mic and Audio before joining the call, BOTH DAMN IT (some do do this, some just one or the other).
- No fiddling in settings to do test / change settings. I want to know / test every damn time before I join ...
- and it would be great if it forced everyone to test too ;) (obviously some complications there if folks are joining and don't intend to talk)
Things I to see all the time on the app, don't hide this shit, and GOD DAMN IT DON'T AUTO HIDE IT:
- Is my mic muted or not.
- Is my mic broadcasting sound or not.
I've been lucky enough to not have any terrible dork ups using these apps but man they seem to invite it by hiding stuff.3 -
Do you just click the mouse wheel to close a tab even though it's a pain on your finger? I don't know where I got this habit from. I'm too lazy to point the cursor to the X button.6
-
So me and my team created an android application for "pet lost and found " . So one of my friend decided to troll us..
Bro you better don't do this is the production man... Hahahaha
2 -
reality: I saw null in the debugger here, causing the bug
add a null check
IDE: you don't need to check for null, this can't be null
what do you do when you can't trust the tools you work with8 -
"We don't have a responsive layout so just do what you think is best"
(builds responsive layout)
"This responsive layout doesn't work as we expected"
(sends 5 pages of notes on how mobile layout should work) -
Fuck webpack.
..besides that what really grinds my gears is the cloning of objects in js. I do like js, but why can't I just say object.clone ? Or Objects.clone(object)?
I mean deep down an object is just 1s and 0s and I just don't know why, there is no standard or nice way to do this. Would this be technically be possible?
Maybe someone knows more about this whole thing, would be happy to hear.2 -
When I say I'm a developer, it means that, in simpleton language, that I don't do your backups, I don't "repair" you PC because you're a baffon and I certainly do not edit company's logo which is in .png format deliver it in .cdr file and expect it as, as good and perfect as original, So fuck you, you impatient , imbecile , pompous prick I've ever met
> "Yeah take as much time as you want, but do it quickly"
I mean what the fuck does that even mean, if you want it done quickly then say so, be a man and face it and don't hide behind the excuse of "take as much time as you want"
Fucking idiots, little do they know when I'm in the zone I need time to think before act so I don't get blamed for "un-satisfied" product in the future.
So I've decided to leave loopholes in the current project I've been working on, deliver it, and leave the company and make their lives living hell, I know this is beneath anyone's standards but I have to do this to teach them how to treat a person properly,FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK,
This is going to be fun9 -
I don't wanna be ridiculed for this, but I have really been meaning to ask. What is people's obsession with the dark theme? It seems like such a noob thing to do.6
-
I don't think it should take "years" to develop a card sorting mechanism.
Android devs do you agree?
( This is picked up from the release notes of Trello. )
6 -
Nothing like client requesting "Hey can you add a virus scan for every goddamn file in the pipeline ? (We don't know what antivirus software you can use, neither do we know what are the consequences of this virus scan failing. We also don't know why a system admin is not doing this server wide instead of a software Dev doing it for this specific individual component. Heck we don't even know why do we need the virus scan in the first place) You might need to think 'outside the box'. Let's hope this is done by 12th Jan. Regards" on a Friday goddamn night
They probably even expect me to write my own antivirus software instead of paying for one
Why is industry like this ? Is there really any polite way to deny this ?15 -
You should have a giant snapshot of your software at the beginning of your website.
Even if you're an open source project. Some linux DE don't do this!
We're not in 1995.1 -
So it's Valentine's day here in the states.
I don't know what to do for my GiF.
All I did was rm -rf objects around the apartment and she seemed pleased...Am I doing this relationship thing right?6 -
Well, I'm now making apps for Android in my class. This is going to be fun. (Sarcasm, please don't make me do this)3
-
Is it weird that I don't wanna live to be hundred, but I'd rather do everything I wanna do as soon as possible?
Sorry to ask something like this here, but my friends are dealing with their own shit and don't wanna bother them.3 -
Ok, so we know you've not had any work to do for a week. Here's what we'll do - pick up this task to copy & paste shit code from one project to another. Don't worry yourself with what it does.
FMDL3 -
==============
Getting Feedback Rant!
=============
When "this is simpler" feedback results in a function of 500 lines of code.
When I get "don't do X" in the feedback. Thank you very much. What do you want me to do instead?
Unclear feedback.
When the feedback giver changes his mind after I applied the changes!
When applying the feedback introduces a bug.
Simply opinionated feedback that is not enforced by any tool or backed up by any facts.
Please find something better to do in life.
Unactionable feedback.
"Consider X"
I will not consider thank you very much.
"Verify this works"
Duh..
When the feedback giver knows something that you don't.
I know this is a legit case.. still annoying.
"I disagree with the feature"
Go argue with the PM, not relevant to me, thanks!
=====================
GIVING FEEDBACK RANT
=====================
I rewrote the system. Please review it.
No need to review, just approve.
I will change this as part of the next ticket.
I would like to keep it the way it is.
lazy ass..
You can't test this.
It's impossible to test this.
No need to test this.
There's no point to test this.
I'll test this on production.
Not sure why this is working..
Please document this..
Because documentation is like a thing, you know.
Oh, this code is not related to this PR, I just don't want to open a new branch for such a small change. ignore it.
Ignore this.
This will be meaningful in my next change. -
!rant
OMG jeahhh!!!
If my boss says yes, I can participate in an "Hackathon" this month in Bonn, Germany! WUHU
(In my department we don't do any programming so I hope he says yes ❤️)5 -
Anyone here have any experience with PHP? I've never really used it myself and don't really want to, but I do look at things like http://phpsadness.com/ from time to time.
These complaints range from "fairly minor" (some stuff like function names/args and some syntsx complaints) to "how is this language even used" (segfaults in a scripting language, broken things like "create_function", comparisons and ternanry operator).
Of course, i don't program in PHP so i don't know how bad any of this actually is.
Anyone actually use PHP or did use it previously?19 -
"I don't know about changing that part of the platform"
-"Do you see any other way?"
"No, but this one is pretty complex"
-"Would you like me not to do it?"
"No, but like, really test it, OK? It's a very complex part of the platform"
-"Would you like me to include the phrase 'this was really fucking complex' in the release documentation?"
Sometimes I think my boss is against coding :/ -
You ever agree to do something that you really don't want to do because you don't want to piss off the other person?
Like, I could've avoided doing this shit if I just were an asshole. Ugh6 -
I just failed the same maths module for the second time
At this point after working really hard and even getting a private tutor I really think I'm not cut out for this shit.I just don't know what to do right now.6 -
And there are still people saying that stack overflow is the best site to ask questions. Interestingly, when you do a question, you get criticize for the title given to the question and they don't give you a real answer. And what about people that comment on your question, saying you that they don't understand the question??? Clearer than so what do you want ??? A pinch in the ass???? FUCK ALL THIS SHIT1
-
Me: finally we have automated deployment to production
Team Lead: No production deployment still requires manual approval
Me: ok how do you want to handle it slack, webhook, what do you suggest
Team Lead: let's do a proof of concept (POC) for this
Me: Ahh... Poc for this ?
Team Lead: you don't know sh*t ?
Me: well I know you're are creating that here
Next day team change... -
My first time standing up and talking about something for an hour tomorrow. "Knowledge sharing" as if I don't do enough one on one...
Why must you have to do this shit to get promoted? Why can't managers trust that your good at what you do without the public cock sucking?
Back to my introverted rock for a while.5 -
Xcode is frustratingly slow and horrible. They engineered it really badly. Why don't you just please collaborate with these intelligent Jetbrains guys? No, you won't do that because ego or because money is more important than your developers' happiness. I do not enjoy this career path to your ecosystem anymore.2
-
Why do certain users ++ various posts of the same user in quick succession? I don't see the logic in this.10
-
temp commits are generally more useful than git stash.
instead of stashing, do a commit with a message like "THIS IS NOT A COMMIT, DON'T INCLUDE THIS". with some discipline you can then go back to your branch, `git reset --soft HEAD~1` and voila, it's similar to a `git stash pop`.
but it's better because you can do this in multiple branches at the same time and there's no fear of accidentally dropping some stashed commit.5 -
So I went to a car repair center and asked if they could fix my bike. They said they could but they won't. This is outrageous, obviously a bike is less complicated than a car and they can actually fix it, they just won't because it's "not their job". Unbelievable!
//This didn't really happen of course
//people don't think this is acceptable, but if I won't fix their laptop they are surprised and act the same way. I study ICT (embedded software engineering and cyber security, but they don't understand that so ICT it is) so I HAVE to fix their laptop....
//Non-techies should really learn that just because we can do something, we don't have to do what they ask of us11 -
Ticket: Thing not working!
Me: Hey customer I hear this thing isn't working. What happened when you tried to do thing?
Customer: I didn't try to do thing. What is this about?
-Me confused, oh wait someone else opened this ticket-
Me: Hey someone else, this ticket was opened. You opened the ticket. What isn't working exactly?
Someone Else: I don't know what you're asking...
Me:
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/RelievedC...
-ticket closed-
-reason: nobody wants to put enough effort into their emails today- -
!dev
My Bros housemates make a mess but don't clean up and generally don't get along. What can he do? Too expensive to live by himself (California)
They're new grads, met somewhere, dunno the details, and decided to rent together earlier this year. He doesn't seem to be very social and just games in his free time...2 -
not used to this on windows
Operation Successful...
Why do professors need .doc files? Pdf works too. I don't know how to use windows. Give me linux.
1 -
Customer: It doesn't do what we wanted it to do, we have this issue, this particular usecase doean't work because you didn't use the patch we sent you. Please use it!
Me: I used most of it, I just fixed few broken parts and dropped part handling the hardware you realized you don't have and I just retested this particular usecase and it works! -
I'm planning to rewrite two months(part time) worth of work done in android sdk. Wanna go for a hybrid framework. Is this a bad idea? Which framework do you suggest as far as stability is concerned? I don't care about ease of learning, new languages don't bother me2
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!rant
I tend to do a lot of sketching and note taking and like to use pen on paper. But sick of tearing out notes and accumulating bits if paper that contain notes here and there. I was thinking of going digital with this specific task (for cheap) i don't own an ipad so was thinking of getting a Fire HD 8" and a Boxwave EverTouch stylus. Im all Apple so don't know android, would this hardware do the trick and what would be a decent note taking and organising app for it? Appreciate any advice comments. Other uses for it are irrelevant.5 -
Do you think that new open-source projects outside of Github don't get as much contributions comparing to Github projects.
! I mean new projects !
If you think so start your first comment on this rant with ✔, if you don't think so start it with ❌.
Reasoning is appreciated. Storys regarding this would be pretty cool.1 -
My manager just rant on twitter .. I think it's time to introduce him this amazing place but I don't want him to listen my opinion about him...
Do we have some kind of block options in devrant??1 -
Got an offer letter today and have to decide by tomorrow. I don't what to do about it. The offer/company is good but not awesome. Should I wait for something better or should I accept this. I don't know, I am really confused.14
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Saw this quote and I felt like maybe it is not just me that needs to see this today :)
“Don't let perfection become procrastination. Do it now.” - Danielle LaPorte1 -
I am more of a backend guy. I just started coding in frontend too. Now I have to change some of the hardcoded things and those should be come from the backend. Yes this is the requirement.
Don't know how will I do it at this stage 🤔 -
Have you ever envied someone that they know more technologies than you? (e.g they know a couple of frameworks that you don't have any idea about)
If you do, what is your response in this situation and why?4 -
So. I began college this year. I will be majoring in Computer Science. There first thing as a new student I did was signed up for the Computer Science Club and excited for the new adventure I asked, "What are we going to do?
President: "Nothing. We don't have any programmers or budget. But you can do whatever you want."
I don't know what I felt: maybe lost? a little dead inside?
What a disappointment.
6 -
how do you guys deal with supervisors that don't teach you the ropes? i need to learn some job specific stuff quickly, but i don't get much attention and it kind sucks to step on someone's toes. at this point, going over my immediate superior feels like the only thing i can do...9
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[Music]
-Do you like spaghetti?
-Yes I do, Yes I do.
-Do you like code?
-Yes I do, Yes I do.
-... Do you like... Spaghetti Code?
-No I don't, Yucky!
(Anyone with a toddler would get this)
(Honestly, I liked spaghetti code) -
Hey, to all programmers here :) ...
What do you do when you don't have to code for a day :o...How will you spend this holiday ^_^?8 -
I was asked to fix a bug delaying the app's email notification. When I opened the notification code file, I saw this comment previous developer wrote, it goes like
-----*This code works 70% of the time, if I try to change anything, the whole profile breaks. Please do not touch this code!. It does not worth the try*-----
Now I don't know what to do😂😂 -
Why, just why do 4k devs find this a good idea https://github.com/sindresorhus/.....
Don't get me wrong I respect this oss dev a lot, I just think readme's should be boring with the least distraction possible.20 -
Weird idea i had while in the shower: Make a browser (or even better an addon for commonly used browsers) and find some reasons why people would download and install it. The addon blocks all the ads on the websites and replces them with your own adds. People who don't use adblocker probably don't care whether the website or the browser itself shows the ad. This would be somewhat unethical but apart from that I don't see why this wouldn't work.
If you actually go ahead and do this, feel free to do so but give me 10% or something.3 -
Mass pole here:
Big Endian or Little Endian?
camelCase or UpperCase?
Brackets on new line or same line?
Apple or Android?
Favourite language?
What language do you despise?
Age? (Don't mean to be creepy with this one, I have my reasons)29 -
I don't know... I'm very sceptic about JPA. I worked on a project using this technology and having much trouble and now I'm working on the second one, but sincerely I prefer the standard SQL approach. What do you think guys about this framework?1
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Thinking of logging into work to do a side project and learn some new tech.... bc I don't have time to work on it during the week...
And there's no personal use case to do this stuff...2 -
I get this pain in my shoulder after a few hours of coding. It can last for weeks if I don't stay away from the computer. What do you guys do to prevent shoulder and neck pain?4
-
Anyone else get really bogged down in a project and just lose any direction? :-/
I know what I want to do and a rough idea to do it but, I just don't know where to go from this point, any tips on how to get out of it? -
No mother fucker, I don't give a fuck about you wanting me to reinvent the fucking wheel to do state management. I'll just use NgRX like any sane guy and just handle it with stores.
I don't fucking care if you're my Angular teacher and never heard about NgRX stores.
I don't even fucking know why I'm still in this fucking course to begin with.7 -
senior: i don't know css well (which is fine as i don't either), but i want you to do this differently and their suggestion doesn't work, so go figure it out
that working stuff we have on the PR? nah
fml -
Facebook should switch to NodeJS, seriously.
They eat the memory of my devices, that's weird it's only Messenger and Facebook who do this..Don't use Ajax when you don't know how to profit from it without affecting the user experience.15 -
I'm not lazy. If you want me to build you a typeface - I'll learn how to do it... and I'll do it ~ but when I get files like this... my brain just goes blank. I don't even know how to rename these. Even if I automate it... I don't know what any of them are. : /
3 -
Taking my company's Security training... One of the rules was don't download unauthorized programs.
Find except we're devs so if we really need a program we could write our own that does the same thing
But yes lots of things mentioned we shouldn't do that well I think any sane person would do...
Wondering are they trying to make everyone quit or is this like double speak?
Do all companies do this?4 -
I know devrant is not the place to ask this but I didn't know what else to do....I very often have doubts about weather I like programming or not even when I started learning programming 2 years ago...Does this imply that I don't really like it? Because I believe that if you really like something than you don't have doubts about it but am not sure if I am correct or not.8
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There's no way to subscribe to a user on the desktop app, and I don't have a phone. Anyone know how to do this by manually sending an http request?2
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What happends when you leave your computer alone:
> sudo rm -rf /
P.D. If you don't what this command do look for it in google before running it on a linux system3 -
Another Team: How do we do this thing? What aws role do we need?
Me: You do it like this, and I don't know the role by this guy does and all you have to do is ask him for the name of the role to assume.
AT: Ok, great.
AT: We're going to do it like this (wrong way, completely against best practices and completely against what the company architects dictate)
Me: No... thats the wrong way. Don't do it that way. That is bad, because (Reasons A, B, C). Do it the way I told you it should be done.
AT: Ok! I see thank you!
3 hrs later
AT schedules a meeting to go over options to do the thing ... including the WRONG WAY and they still haven't talked to That Guy to get the role name they need.1 -
Almost all people who are unfamiliar with modern websites don't know that they don't need to 'allow notifications' to access a website's content.
My parent's phone is always showing 99+ notification.
We need to do something about this, we're responsible.4 -
fucking caffeine telling my brain that it doesn't work in its absence !
"this will require a rewrite you really don't want to do..."
first thought is coffee.2 -
TFS, I love you. We've been in a relationship for a long time. I've never seen this before. Please don't do it again. If you feel you must do it again, can we talk about it? Maybe with a third party?
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Hey, anyone up for a project? It's a dating app. I was thinking about this years ago but don't have the resources to do it.11
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That moment when "client developer" tell you how to do this and that but in fact you know that their solution is not a good solution. In the worst case scenario, they just don't take you justification.1
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What do you drink while you're programming?
Don't say "coffee, energy drinks", post the model/type.
I'm from Spain, and usually I drink this: http://coffee.wikia.com/wiki/...28 -
Team: We don't know how to do this
Stack overflow: It can't be done
Me: Hold my beer. No, wait, nevermind, I'm not drinking at work.1 -
Why do people use express router? They can just fucking use app.get and app.post, why fucking add an additional variable and use router.get and router.post?
Can someone explain this to me? I don't fucking get it.1 -
Hey dude, don't try to sneak a random piece of design in this project then force eng and product to argue wtf. We'll do whatever the company wants and y'all agree to, but seriously fuck that drama.
-
The 11th commandment. Don't make websites where you have to email or call to stop a monthly subscription. It should be easy to do. This is one reason people hate trial versions that ask for cc numbers.2
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When people use comments for build configuration. And don't put down handy comments like "uncomment this if you want to do that".
I guess what I'm saying is that this "code cleanup" task is turning into a "code keep the bloated baseline" task.3 -
Honestly, am I the same guy who wrote this code 4 years ago? How comes I never commented it! Shit man. What do you do with code that works just fine but you don't know how it works..???2
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I like the project I do
I just don't like when the customer ask to remove some pictogram he asked to add, and this right when we started the realization of the project. -
So do I want a quick test or a fast test? 🤔
Don't large companies like HP ever proofread their menus? This doesn't need users to test for them to realize it's bad. Smh.
2 -
I keep getting emails from my programming teacher to "do more challenge programs!" Outside of the homework where I already have to do this shit
I think I'm gonna take this weekend to do the whole workbook they provided and see what they say then. Probably that I'm not learning properly.
I don't dislike this form of practical learning. I'm sure it's very representative of work programming, because the biggest challenge of these programs is mainly the bugs VB Net provides.. -
How do you guys come up with ideas for side projects? I'm really motivated to start a project but i don't have an idea... It's been going like this for weeks4
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There is only one life what you want do now only because we don't know after mixing in the mud again we will come to this earth or not. So Trust in your self work for your dreams and catch them.
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Has anyone an idea how to make a Microsoft Surface Pro more "interesting"? Got one this week but I really don't like Windows. But I do like the ability to draw and write on it...7
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Why the fuck can't I do vertical center without 40 hacks that don't involve flex? I have ant this fucking thing in the middle of this img no matter what. (All due respect to those that make even the smallest div possible)1
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So in my short time as a software developer I find myself that I sometimes get bored working (I feel like I'm doing the same thing from 9 to 5 everyday) don't get me wrong I like my job a lot but sometimes I feel like it's not satisfactory.
Do you get bored like this? And what do you do to keep it exciting for you (Don't go into money please I don't think it's the reason for happiness)1 -
Does anyone else sometimes make customer support people do things that you're just too lazy or don't want to do?
I'm especially bad about this if I'm looking into a service and they have a chat person that pops up. Since you bugged me while I was trying to do my research, how about you just answer all these questions I have so I don't have to click through your site. -
How the fuck do i make you this testing environment when I've been talking for three months that we don't have the hardware for it !!!
-
Don't know how to frame this question.
Do you think a perfect code to a solution is possible?
PS: A production level code.6 -
I don't know if anyone else has had this issue, but how on earth do you clear the notifications for this app? Driving me nuts right now!
-
I really don't know what to do when I can't get the help that we need.
We use the initial version of Jasmine for unit testing and AngularJS (not 2, 3, 4+, but 1), so it's hard to find any good examples online to create my tests. My coworkers help, but since testing isn't something we do at all (or at least very often), they are unsure on how to help me.
I don't know what to do. I feel very unproductive and not valuable to the company at this time.2 -
Coming home fully energized to work on a collaborative project, turn on linux pc (quite old, but works best with git), open github, start git pull, open vs code, click on reminder to download new version -> open new chromium tab (takes longer than normal...?), open start menu
....
....
? ... pc frozen😔😥
forcing shutdown, restart ... wifi gone😓? oh come on!!😑😣4 -
Ruby and its "simplicity" hurts me... Tried to make a if-statement checking if user is signed in... Well logic would say it's "if (user != signed_in)" right? Well logic don't apply in Ruby, in this realm you do "if (user_signed_in?)". As a logic programmer this bugs me...
Anyone relating?4 -
Hm... Its sorta nice after another tiring day but not really feel I have to do something productive tonight... Since I already did something this morning. Anything else is now ++... And I don't feel as guilty watching TV/Just relaxing
-
Is making an HTML signature part of a backend developer's Job?
Don't mind setting them up on the clie t's server but, ffs sake, I don't give a sh*t how they look.
This feels like a huge waste of time since the designers have the fucking tools to do it12 -
I don't... for some incredible reasons all of my friends are interested in what I do. I don't have any kind of problem with them. I just explained them that I have this passion that could take a lot of my time but if they need I'll be there for them.
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Got invoved in a project that has to do with deploying a healthcare mangement system in local health care centres across states and this centers don't have internet access but we could use solar to power those centers so we don't have issue with power but how do i get the local data to internet since we need those data online1
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Me: God damn why don't some of these save to the DB or others do it intermittently.... is this a network issue or-
API (if it could talk): Yeah mean I don't get, it I mean this is what I sent to the DB.
Me: Wait ... "what you sent!?!?!"2 -
Ohh my god am tired of TTY on this or god or god , shut them Mort shoot they don't feel pain shoot em do their bad programmers shoot them fast
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What's the general process and toolset for reverse engineering a C++ DLL? I've never done this, but I may get a gig and I'm not about to reject it just because I don't know how to do the work.7
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I'm creating an application where If I lose a bet I'm gonna pay $10 to my friend and he loses then he does the same also but I don't know how do I Implement this transaction using react and node, I mean which service should I use to do this?2
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Question to all Ruby and ToR programmers. What do you hate in Ruby/RoR?
I don't know why Ruby is not Popular and didn't hear about problem with this lang.2 -
I think here the CS degree/experience just gives you training basically to pass this technical interviews which has been a constant problem because 99% of the work you actually do, you ain't gonna need it. (I don't work at big tech companies but pretty sure it's the same, have to be very Senior and leading a project before you really need to think about this stuff?)
I don't have a CS degree unfortunately, completely self taught, but that experience while "impressive" to interviewers doesn't seem to matter much when do how do you implement a red black tree or quick-sort.
I may know the difference in general but I don't fucking care to remember the details as YAGNI... If rather remember the things I need every day -
https://gofund.me/d0740f5f
for having the guts to post this on a twitter profile of a hooker I think for that amusing expectation that they give back that you should all chip in THIS Time and allow me to do something different even though I truly do hate you all :)
its the 'don't want to freeze to death fund'6 -
what the fuck
am i supposed to do
that is not
fucking
going
to lead
to more of the same shit.
i need a fucking clue here.
or rather i don't
this HUMAN does. -
Is there anyone who understands my struggle and can help with this? Until now I encountered only "use virtualenv" and "why do you want to do that?" crap. Virtualenv can't help here at all, so please don't try to be smartpants with that bullshit.
http://superuser.com/questions/...2 -
One thing that I hate.
I don't remember having ever used Facebook to login into Quora. Yeah, you might say I did, but still I find it treacherously insane that they do this kind of linking with my information.
2 -
Sorry possibly nothihg to do but sit around and be idle if bent motherfuckers don't offer incentive
The incentive being to leave this queer shit where it belongs in the distant past
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