A few years ago when I was still an apple fan boy, friend of mine bragging me about how android is awesome, we were drinking some shots at our local pub and I was starting to get light headed. At one point he showed me so called "terminal emulator" app. I checked it out, and assumed it's an emulation, just like dosbox, so I decided to verify that "rm -rf *"... (the phone was rooted)

The phone shutdown within seconds, I couldn't stop laughing, while my friend was shock that his new phone was longer booting.

Luckily he managed to reflash the ROM. What can I learn from that experience?
1. Don't drink and sudo
2. Don't call your app an emulator if it's the real deal.

A friend of mine was playing Destiny 2 just now and the game crashed. This was legit the error message :

I lost a friend today😭.

He wanted to checkout my MacBook Pro, because he was thinking about buying one.

So I pulled mine out of my backpack, and turned it on.. Then windows 10 popped up!

I looked at him in shock like I just got caught watching porn. I tried to explain to him “it’s not what you think! I had to install it to use Microsoft Project!

He just looked at me in disgust, shaking his head, and walked away....

What's the downside of having a "high tech" classroom with Bose speakers and a mid tier PC you say?

Hackers

So back in highschool we used to have these fancy "corporate" classrooms with speakers, PC and projector setup (plus really comfy chairs). Classrooms were organized in triads next to each other so we usually knew when classes where taking place next to us.

One day I decided to fuck around with teachers, I waited until he/she started class and I remotely blasted music or porn sounds on the third empty classroom and waited until the angry teacher rushed to the classroom then...silence...nothing but an empty classroom.

One day one of the teachers was so pissed because I orchestrated a Vivaldi concert with the 3 classrooms he rushed into ours and took a friend of mine who he had a personal grudge against, I kinda felt bad but not so much after my mate told me that was genius and that we should do it again.

A friend of mine: Look at this nice app I made 😎
*shows me a normal looking app with tabs and different views"
Me: Hmmm… looks good.
Friend: Do you know how I made the navigation between views? 😏
Me: I'm afraid to ask…
Friend: Since I didn't know how to use the piece of code I found on internet, I made multiple views one above another with visibility set to false, and during the navigation I just change the visibility. 😁
Me: WTF? Man… this isn't something you should be proud of… it shouldn't be done.
Friend: Do you also want to know how I backup the code?
Me: No…
Friend: I send it to myself via email.
Me: FUCK!
Friend: I also never use while loops, I prefer to use for instead with a break inside. 😊
*blocked*

Well guess what, I was coding with a friend of mine in a café .The waiter took our orders ..glanced at our screens( We were using Linux terminals ..fucking npm I swear) and then a few minutes later the manager comes up and says - ”Sorry ,but I am gonna have to ask you guys to leave " ..We were like wtf man ? Well apparently the staff felt that we were hacking using their WiFi .. God fucking dammit..typing on terminals is not Hacking .

A friend of mine is heavily into java. Like seriously... programming teachers at our school ask him for help.
Everytime he gets drunk he starts saying the weirdest things like "DUDE what's your alpha value I can hardly see you".
He greets me with "What's up socket boy" and after throwing up he thinks about the best ways to sort the data. (his vomit)

Has anyone else had such experiences? I want to hear some funny stories! :D

A friend of mine wanted me to scale a 64x64px png image to the size of a facebook cover without quality loss.

!rant
A few days ago a friend of mine rang me up complaining about internet issues with his computer. As usual I did the "is it plugged in, turn it off then on again" sort of thing to waste time while my pasta was cooking. After a while he asked if I had another bogus solution, so I suggested flushing his toilet.

He runs off, I hear the flush, comes back and viola - it fucking worked.

The point of this is: if it don't work, flush the toilet. You're welcome, tech support out ✌️

The company a friend of mine works at ordered some CPUs. This is how they were delivered...

So a fucking friend of mine makes me meet this fella who is a big shot according to his LinkedIn and please note has too much experience with Web Apps and Python

Me being naive actually trusted that and I meet him.

Fella: So what do you do?
Me: I am into Cyber Security nothing much I just do bug hunting for now
Fella: You know python will help you right?
Me: Sorry?
Fella: You see you have to be a python programmer for anything you want to do in CS
Me: Me yeah I kinda know python actually I am more into Ruby from start so ( Around this time I kinda sensed that he is a fake tech guy he is a corporate asshole)
Fella: show me any of your work
Me: (So to show him one of the thing I was working on I open GitHub desktop app) Me explaining blah blah blah
*Fella is in shock*
So at this point I was thinking probably he is impressed and that's why the shock right?

No a big fucking no
Apparently he never heard about GitHub or git and got blown away by the interface.

And the friend who made me meet that guy is not my fucking friend anymore that prick can die for ruining my day

This was a comment but deserves its own post

A friend of mine had to make a pacman AI for a course and was required to have a partner.

So he asked the laziest, never in class guy for his studentnumber.
For every assignment he put that guys name and number on it. And he gave decent partner reviews.

His AI was the best of the whole year. The professor asked him to the front of the college room (with every AI student there, except his "partner"). My friend then thanked his partner, "he wouldn't be there without him".
Every student there laughed their ass off since they all knew that he soloed it.
The professor had no clue

At the end of the year my friend made that guy complete 3 courses without him knowing

Friend: So you're like a Developer right? Specifically using JavaScript?

Me: I mean...kinda? Pretty Noobish still...

Friend: But you could like show a buddy of mine some basics right?

Me (thinking to myself...the best way to test your knowledge is to teach it...): well...sure...

Friend: Great here is their info!

*Drives an hour away*
*sits down with this friend of a friend*
*busts out laptop*

Friend of friend: So how long have you been a Java Developer?

Me: -_- oh fuck...

*head desk*

I'm still remembering that one time a friend of mine asked me to pass him the WiFi-cable.

I know, that sounds like a cliche, but it's getting better...

We are both information and communication engineering students...

I told him to think about what he just said and after some seconds of thinking he responded with "Oh yea, I forgot that my laptop doesn't have a WiFi Jack..."

He's passing most exams with distinction btw...

A friend of mine went to her boss and said that she will quit if she won't get 50% salary raise - boss said ok. She told about it her working colleague so he went to the boss and said 50% or I'll quit - boss said cleanup your desk...

So a friend of mine ran a Tor Exit node at home for a few month.
He upgraded to gigabit so he was able to push 950Mbit/s quite nicely. He has the oldest Tor Relay (11 years) and was the 2nd fastest exit node.

But he was sadly forced to remove the exit policy, because the police and some other government agencies knocked on his door today.

So the country I live in is going to get a huge mass surveillance law. Currently we're trying to force a referendum because this is highly (privacy) intrusive. We can still sign them for a little bit and a friend of mine hadn't done that yet. His reasoning was that it I isn't binding anyways.

We've got this John Oliver equivilant in the Netherlands who did a piece about this.

I put it on for my friend saying that I just wanted him to watch it. If he wouldn't change his mind afterwards, I wouldn't pressure him or anything.

We watched it.

Afterwards he looked at me with eyes like 😵😧😷😲😮😫.

"they'll REALLY be able to do this shit!?!"
"where can I sign this fucking thing to get this referendum going?"

So I asked him why he suddenly was all for it.

"I'm not much of a privacy guy but this shit just crossed a fucking line".

He's going to sign it as fast as possible 😁

A friend of mine took part in development of a website for a real estate agency. Their database was stored on a floppy disk.

A friend of mine has a PC that was overheating. His solution: Dumping the entire mobo and components in a box with Olive oil.

Pros:
+ Decrease heat by 15℃
+ Low cost solution

Cons:
- Hard to maintain components
- Dust can't be cleaned from the box
- House smells like an Italian kitchen 😂

Happened with a friend of mine
*Before interview*
My advice: Try to ask about the company, the recruiter, the job. Look curious.
*Interview about to finish*

I: So do you have any questions?

F: Uhh, yeah, sure. Where do you work?

Friend of mine was annoying me by sending Facebook games invites... So I made a bot which gently asks him to subscribe to PewDiePie

A friend of mine asked me if I could review his code. I said ok and immediately regretted it when he sent me 250 lines of .docx text. In PDF. So I couldn't even copy-paste it.

A study mate (from when I still studied) and more and more privacy'ish friend of mine joined devRant!

Please welcomee.......

*drumrolls*
*drummrollssss*
*DRUMMMROLLSSSS*

@incognito!

Welcome mate!

A friend of mine is creating a website for our school project and the website is getting to look worse and worse.
Here is a picture he sent me today.

Made a video-call interview. I was asked to design and start the development of a chatbot. I sent my work. Never had a response. A friend of mine was recruited and told me, my entire code was used in the company. :)

Just a test they said.

Friend of mine killed his MacBook with some Softdrink.

Just poured it all over his poor a1502.

He let it dry for a few days, it starts to work again.
Except the battery.

Goes on Amazon and buys a new battery.

New battery doesn't work either and so he tells me about it and I as stupid as I am couldn't resist the temptation to finally work on a MacBook like my "hero" Lois Rossmann does.

So turns out the board is good.
Cleaned it up and basically nothing happened to it.

So what's the deal with "los batlerias"?

The first got hit by liquid, the second had a broken connection to a cell.
That could have happened through my friend, installing it without testing it first, or at the seller, so it being a DOA battery.

Now away from the stupidity of my friend and the situation to the actual source for this rant.

Once something happens to a modern Managed battery, the Battery Management System (BMS) disconnects the voltage from the system and goes into an error state, staying there and not powering anything ever again.
For noobs, it's dead. Buy a new one.

But It can be reset, depending you know how to, and which passwords were set at the factory.
Yes, the common Texas instruments BQ20Zxx chips have default passwords, and apple seems to leav them at default.

The Usb to SMBus adaptors arrived a few days ago and I went to prod the BMS.

There is a very nice available for Windows called BE2works, that I used the demo of to go in and figure out stuff. The full version supports password cracking, the demo not.

After some time figuring out how Smart Battery Systems (SBS) "API" works, I got to actually enter the passwords into the battery to try get into manufacturer and full access mode.

Just to realise, they don't unlock the BMS.

So, to conclude, my friend bought a "new" battery that was most likely cut out of a used / dead macbook, which reports 3000mah as fully charged instead of the 6xxx mah that it should have, with 0 cycles and 0hours used.
And non default access.

This screams after those motherfuckers scaming the shit out of people on Amazon, with refurb, reset, and locked fucken batteries.

I could kill those people right now.

Last but not least,
My friend theoretically can't send it back because I opened the battery to fix the broken connection.
Though maybe, it'll get send back anyway, with some suprise in the package.

Long rant ahead.

Holy shit is this hard.

I'm not a dev, but I'm working really hard to become one. I come home from work every day at 7:00pm and study between 3 and 5 hours of coding, and finally I'm starting to make decent responsive web pages. I got excited, finally the studies are paying off and I guess I got carried away and told a "friend" about it.

"What?, But making web pages its fucking easy anybody can do web pages! I did mine with dreamwiever, is that even considered development"

And there goes my self steem holy shit..I know, I know its not development, Im not a programmer neither do I pretend to be one but holy shit.

I guess I wish some people would anderstand the amount of effort that can go into an app or web..

!rant

My girlfriend sat on my lap the other day when I was helping a friend of mine with some assembly code. She look at the code an said

What are you doing?

I explained the code and said that is the lowest you can get before machine code. She didn't run away in fear....

This is a great sign...

A friend of mine recommended this app it funny already, thanks @linuxxx for telling me about this awesome community

After trying to explain a problem I was facing at work to a Non-Dev friend of mine

Non-Dev Friend: Why did you even choose to become a developer in the first place?

Me: I didn't choose coding, it choose me!

Im one of the people who got laid off due to covid19. I was hoping to find work at the same salary my previous job paid me at the very least. A friend of mine pointed out the fact that since i've been in the industry a while that I could ask for a lot more than what I made. I didn't believe him, but since my wife agreed, I've been asking for double my previous salary. I actually got a job that met my ask. I'm glad to say that after being afraid I was getting in over my head, I can actually do this. Glad my friend told me my worth and I hope others have friends that can do the same for them.

So a friend of mine asked me today "got any proposals?"
Me: "yeah, in fact I got two of them"
Friend: "... Nice!"
Me: "yeah. Both were from my client"
Friend bursts out laughing.

a friend of mine, phd, who lives in Not america, got offered 200k$/year as a software engineer to work in america. he refused because he hates america.

"Make your first Website with WIX"
-A Friend of mine

My government is FUCKING STUPIDLY JOKING. I can't confirm this but what i heard from friend of mine who works on that place. The server is turned off after work hours. And yes Holiday included. What the fuck? Are they even know the basics?

And yet today is not even a holiday. And i got this "Server Hangup" unhelpful Message.

This site is supposed to be the place to handle Online Taxation. And the deadline to report my company's earning is just tommorow, yet we can't do anything if the website IS NOT FUCKING ON!!!! I DON'T WANT TO PAY FINE CHARGES BECAUSE LATE REPORT SUBMISSION!!!! THIS IS GOVERNMENT FAULT NOT MINE!

I'm a computer sciences student, so I had to work on a group project at the end of the year. This project had a very big impact on our ratings, and many students were working really hard on it
One evening, a friend of mine knocked at my door to seek for help, she was too depressed to keep working on the project and needed to talk a little bit
After a little talk, we worked on her part of the project together. We managed to finish it just in time and send it to her teammate (they were not using git, our school never ever talked about it so they did not know what it is)

The next day was the d-day, every group had to show the teachers their projects
I arrived in a room where everyone was trying to fix the remaining bugs before their turn
And I saw my friend, almost crying. Her mate changed everything in the code we worked on and everything broke. There was not enough time to merge it again, they were stuck with a non functionnal soft
Obviously, he kept telling everybody it was her fault

Just go to hell, you fucker
I can't even understand how you did have such a stupid idea, now she needs to repeat her year because of you
Fuck you and don't ever come in my sight again, you selfish brat
Just because you know you will pass does not give you the right to fuck with another person's ratings

A friend of mine once went into a library and opened a cmd on one of the computers, to run a little batch rename script on his usb stick. 5 minutes later he got kicked out because they though he was hacking the computer 😅

Ok so the ex boyfriend (let's call him Joe) of a friend of mine is a dumbass

He wanted to hack her phone, or whatever, so hired someone on telegram to do it. He asked her phone number and 200€.

After actually giving him the money this guy sent a ransom asking for 2k to not turn Joe in.

Joe learned a lesson.

CS graduates that have never gone beyond "Hello World", fuck college and it's "system".

So the actual victims of the story are friends of mine, CS colleagues, but I can't help but share as the existence of code freeloaders enfuriates me.

At college in order to graduate you need to present a project in form of a thesis a side from your actual thesis, there is a shortage of pre-approved projects and everyone wants one.

A talented friend of mine who has many years of programming experience got in one with another friend of mine and a lady who I've never seen before. One Saturday night my friend and I were having some beers at a local bar and his phone didn't stop beeping so I jokingly said:

"Bro, tell your girl you need some space", he laughed and explained it was the chick from her project having some "issues" with node.

"So? Tell her to google it, it's Saturday night", he explained the girl has never coded before even though she's about to graduate so she had take it upon herself to pressure him to finish ASAP so she can graduate and get an already agreed position at the federal energy commission... As dev!

I've seen my bud in a lot of dumb calls with said chick trying to explain how you CAN'T COMPILE THE NODE WEBSERVER TO A .EXE!

It frustrated me how such an idiot can go through a CS major buying homeworks and getting low self-esteem geeks to code for her. Then I realized that as an aspiring InfoSec guy, lazy idiots coding is good for business.

So yesterday a friend of mine closed a ticket which has been open for around two years: "Automatically publish job offers in our internal wiki."

This was the conversation between him and HR.
- Friend: They're all on our website. Why should they be in our wiki too?
- HR: So that our employees can see them and recruit people for us.
- Friend: How about I just put the link in our wiki?
- HR: No, no links. They should all just be in our wiki.
- Friend: *<iframe src="website"></iframe>*

Now HR and everyone else is happy.

4 years ago, during our college, a friend of mine was explaining us about hacking using simple SQL injections. He showed us some of the sites he hacked. Out of curiosity we tried it on college internal website it worked. We had access to all the details of all the students in university, and even the lecturer's information. We informed the management , they were shocked on seeing this. They had just spent 25 lakhs for this website couple of months ago.

At Uni, I went from being the only programmer, to the programmer, designer, scene builder, main script writer, minigame designer, project manager, music composer, UI designer and fucking everything else.

We had a team of 4 people. The artist was great and dedicated, the production person was motivated, but lacked any technical skills and my useless fuckwit of a friend wrote literally 3, 2 note midi sound effects in 6 fucking weeks.

Thank fucking god the coordinator and a mate of mine who we got to do the animations, saw the amount I had carried and both led me to getting 2 jobs in the industry right after graduating.

A friend of mine updated his status to 'I love my girlfriend <3'

It's one thing to love, it's another to be a pedophile 😲

"Im gonna buy an Titan V for gaming!"
-Le "Friend" of mine

me:
A Titan V is for research and AI Applications...

Le "Friend"
Ayy u stupid Titan V best card!!!11!

Fuck this shit im fucking out of here...

A friend (also a colleague) of mine had hacked the password of his manager's Netflix account 😆

Well, can't call it as "hacking" in 2018 when you can sneak into an idle laptop and view stored passwords in Chrome.

Now this Netflix account works as a "charitable trust" and more than 30 people are aware of the password 😆

So a good friend of mine calls me up on Friday night, and he tells me about his close friend abroad who messed up and, without going into details, needs me to do his C# project for a course. The deadline was on Monday. I said I couldn't promise anything, but send me the requirments and I'll look into it.

Now, the pay was good and I felt that the guy's reasons were valid (and that the prof was being a dick), also the project was doable in a day and a half, so I said ok. I spent my entire Saturday working on it till I had most of it done: I just needed to refine the code and do the report.

I sent the app to him so that he can check it out, to which he responds by freaking out and explaining that he has missed most of the classes and has a barely passing average (huh maybe the prof isn't so much of a dick). If I get him a high grade, the gig will be up and his prof will fail him. He wants a 60-70/100, no more.

Feeling obliged by our agreement, I spent my Sunday complicating trivial code, breaking standards, and adding minor bugs. Had I know this was what it was going to lead to, I would have never accepted.

It's just so much harder to break good code than to write it.

I took a civil service exam October last year, the list of passers where posted in the government website last December. My name wasn't on the list. I was heart broken. :'(
I wasn't able to apply for the job I wanted. I thought that I'm so stupid I can't even pass an exam.
I was depressed for almost a month.
Then yesterday, a friend of mine was searching google since I refuse to tell her my middle name.
Suddenly she exclaimed, wow! you're a civil service exam passer!
I was shocked beyond belief!
I checked the website, my name is still not there. HAHA. (deep inside it hurts)
I cursed my friend for trolling me but she swear that it's true. She sent me the link and BOOM! my name is on the list of APRIL passers!
WHAT THE HECK???
i just verified through phone that I actually passed and that it was an error on their website that included me on the wrong list. I don't know whether to be angry or pleased. lol XD

The PCs in our school have a software called "Dr. Kaiser" which purpose is to prevent changes to the disk. I thought it's working like DeepFreeze for OSX devices; having a copy-on-write feature or something like that. One day a friend of mine (kinda newbie in hacking) said he wanted to create a backdoor in the system so you can login as the local administrator of the device. He replaced the "sethc.exe" in the windows directory with cmd.exe on a live distro and claimed it was working perfectly. It turned out that "Dr. Kaiser" is indeed loading the default image on startup, but doesn't verify checksums for system files (and also doesn't include the files in the default image). Long story short: You now can open a cmd with System permissions on every PC in the building.

This. Is. Stupid. It should be forbidden to sell this software 😖

!rant
Today a friend of mine kinda broke windows

Description:
There are 4 desktop instances, all of them "work" perfectly fine. Partly overlapping eachother

am so excited a girl friend of mine is graduating tomorrow with a first class honors in CS.She taught me how to code.

-Friend of mine telling me this nugget-

At my previous job, we were porting a UNIX system to Windows NT using Microsoft VC++. A colleague of mine, that was in the process of porting his portion of the code, came to me, looking really upset.

Colleague: "Hey! I hate these Microsoft guys! What a rotten compiler! It only accepts 16,384 local variables in a function!"

My third paper got accepted, doing localization with this cute baby in the picture. Had a lot of fun collaborating with a good friend of mine from ETH.
My advisor declines every request I have, and then ignores me most of the time. No wonder the motivation in the lab is lower than the Dead Sea.
I have no words to describe how much I hate every second of my existence, but simultaneously I refuse to change my toxic circumstances so I have only myself to blame. Cheers.

The worst work culture I've experienced was at a local security company.
There was a reason why over 15 people come and go within 6 months (just 30 people work there):
The boss is a fucking psychopath and should be (mis)treated in a high-security mental health institution.
There has not been one sane day during the 90 days I had to work there.
A friend of mine still has to work there because he can't find anything else in his current situation...

I was sitting in the University when a cute girl we know asked us If we have a Chewing Gum with mint flavour. We hadn't, but a friend of mine replied with 'I've got Linux Mint! In case you wanna try... "

Advanced silence or about 3 minutes after that...

!rant

Yesterday a friend of mine asked if I could help her with an assignment. The goal was writing shortest path agorithm in excel. I told her I don't know excel or VB but I will look into it. I didn't even know that we can code in excel 😅 After 1,5 hours of research and coding I writed a well documented code that does the job (with n^2 complexity of course). I feel VERY motivated after this. Because I did well job at an unexperienced environment with a language that I don't know!

Tldr: my new favorite ide is excel.

A College Friend of mine has offered last year a free C++ course for everyone who is interested, this year he is doing the same in Rust. This guy can explain and gives a big part of his freetime for this.
He is just amazing.

Thanks to everyone who shares his/her knowledge!

So a friend of mine saw that I used DuckDuckGo.

Friend: "why do you use ddg? it has bad results! "
Me:"because I care about privacy,google collects a ton of shit when you search."
Friend:"yeah I don't care I just want to game..."
Me: 😱🤷‍♂️😶

Most people think like that sadly...

A few days ago a friend of mine asked me to teach him to code. When I wanted to know which language he'd like to learn, he hesitantly replied "https".
Then I explained, this was a data transfer protocol. His next idea was "http". 🙄

Guess who will learn Python

"Why are there so many programming languages? Why don't you guys all just program in binary?" A friend of mine some of you may remember, the same one who decided to select system32 when trying out some encryption software from the internet, and who put a shutdown script in the start up programs

So, the other day a friend of mine called me. It's been years that I haven't talked to this girl. She says "can you do me a favour?". I asked "what?". To which she replies "My Facebook account has been hacked. Can you do something and destroy the guys pc? Don't let him create any other account or even let him use the internet. Ban him from the internet or do something.
And I was like

Let me tell you a crazy story

A friend of mine got the idea to make a charity gala for the Swedish event Musikhjälpen. It's a charity event that involves a small group of celebrities being locked up in a glass cage for a week, broadcasting on radio 24/7. During the event anyone can wish a song by donating $5 or more, and it will get played on radio.

So this friend of mine books a huge arena two months before the gala that hasn't even been planned yet, and it all came down to this big thing yesterday evening. With over a thousand people in the audience we managed to collect almost 200 000 SEK, about 22 000 USD. Oh, and did I mention it was all done voluntarily - even the scene and video coverage was donated.

So here we are, having collected a total of over 400 000 SEK (44 000 USD) for the cause of this year's theme; everyones right to be they way they are, regardless if you've got Downs Syndrome or any other disability. You see, this was done together with the Swedish Scouts, and during this week that's the crazy amount of money we've been able to collect for this great cause. Damn it's been great!

Just had to share it. You won't be able to believe what a great feeling this is 😊

A friend of mine (who is French) has made a little firewall for Windows (idk why).
He sends me the binary, so I tested it and got around it fairly easily.
Replied to him: "I have a nice name for it: Maginot line"

A friend of mine bought a new laptop with an ssd and called me over since it behaved weirdly. All the icons on the desktop would turn to white squares and slowly reload their images. Also the laptop was pretty slow.
She said she had brought it to the store to show that behaviour and the only advice they would give was to reinstall windows...
So I started checking on what processes are running...
The thing was constantly running an "optimization" tool... which, you guessed it, was constantly defragmentating... the ssd... are you fkn serious who set up that shit this way...

when recruiters would use the same tactics when dating:

Recruiter:
Hi, I see that you are currently in a relationship and even married for over a year now. And you are perfect relation material for a friend of mine. I'm reaching out because you would be a perfect fit. Can you give me your phone number so that we could meet?

A friend of mine once showed me a really beautiful and fast login page he made.

After some time I took a look at the front-end code and realized why it was so fast... He queried the database in the JS code...
The user and pass for the database was in the HTML of the website...

I think he deployed that page...

Almost three years ago when I was starting web development,a friend of mine asked me to create a website for him.

You know those single page portfolio with a blog. I said Ok.

After a week I hosted the website and the dude didn't pay up the remaining amount. After following up for a while I just commented out the links to load all css files and declined his calls till he paid up.

He called and said he suspected a hack, to which I replied yes. He had to pay up the remaining amount + more to prevent 'other future hacks'.

The website is no longer active (koome.co.ke) but since then my interactions with clients has changed.

Sister of a friend of mine fucked up her Mac, her Dad, they called me to fix it.

Partition table is wrecked and her thesis is there, no backup.

Been working since yesterday, got to recover it. Recovered files.

Dad applies pressure, because she's leaving out of town today, I do my best but fucking SSD won't work, it says it's healthy but damn Mac says IO error, Disk Utility says exit code 8... oh, and her dad thinks it's easy, that Ive been delaying things and so on...

fuuuuuucking hell, I hate you

This came from a friend of mine who found this in a code repo at work.

A good friend of mine turned 38 yesterday. It will be his last birthday. Last month was his last Christmas and New Years. He entered hospice care this month. His doctors have said he's only got a few weeks left, so he's come off the treatment for his brain tumour. His kids are old enough to understand he won't be here much longer. A bunch of us, friends from high school, flew up to see him in the fall. It's hard to believe someone our age won't be with us to see another year. It puts things in perspective.

Not a rant, just a tought:

I was thinking, how amazing is to work at software industry, I mean, is there any other field of work where you can start without knowing little to nothing of the thing you are going to work with?
Got hired to work with a friend of mine in his uncle's company, started as a technician, providing support to clients, after that, started coding little windows applications using c#, even tought, I didn't know shit about it, time passed and we needed a mobile application, then when I realized I was already coding for Android in Java even though I didn't know nothing about it too.

It's just, you can do whatever you want if you will... It's amazing! I love doing what I do.

A friend of mine called yesterday with a HUUGEEE FUCKIN PROBLEM!! His work on his thesis (to finish his course) is inside his laptop, and "the laptop is stuck at 91% of updates" since.. Like.. 5h. "It won't turn on again! I'm dead!! Pleeeaase heeelp"
I went to his home, sit at the front of his PC, took off the battery and the power cable, shut it off and then turned it on again.
"OH! MY! GOD!!!" "You truly are a fuckin God with this!!"
"Dude. You're just stupid."
Ps. I'm still his friend, I guess

A friend of mine got an account hacked on Crunchyroll. Whenever he tried to login, the website told him that no account with his email existed. As I had two accounts, I tried something real quick. I logged in to the account I'm not using and tried to change the email address to a 10 minute mail. I logged into my own email account patiently waiting for a confirmation email. After 10 minutes I still hadn't received it. So I checked the 10 minute mail, and there it was. I can't describe how furious I got with Crunchyroll at that point. Are you for real? It's that easy? Fucking idiots. I hope the guy responsible for that system dies in a fire with a thousand rubber penises up his ass!

So, a friend of mine started working on an internship in which he was supossed to manage a DB. He was given an Excel file. 🙈Wtf

Desperately frustrated since my little brother started studying Software Engineering in college. I was so happy that he wants to do this, but they study 10 types of math and Java.
When he gets home from vacation watches movies for weeks and weeks. Haven't seen him write a single line of code for a year and some. I believe he thinks the outdated stuff and the piece of math they study will get him a solid job with the diploma.
I am a self-taught developer and for the past 11 years I have gaps in top of a week where I wasn't studying/coding/working and by watching him throw his good years ... this is not how I see good dev raise.
I was super pissed, because he started looking for a job last month (for me he has 0 knowledge to lend a job) after 50 applications he got 2 calls (one because of me calling an HR friend of mine and the little brat refused it). I tried giving him a part in project of mine - quick piece of work 2-3 days tops so he can add something to this one page empty CV and yet he refused.
I don't know what to do anymore. For me he has no real future if he relies on the stupid college education and the piece of paper with no real knowledge for the past 2 years of studying.

A friend of mine did this.

Login: yes
Password: Don't have one
Password is incorrect

Login: yes
Password: incorrect

Friend of mine: so I wonder how do you test your applications in the startup?

Me: testing? *grabs his coffee laughing*

Actually we have a complete build pipeline from commit/pull-request to dev and production environments. No tests. Really. We are in rapid product development / research state.

We change technologies and approaches like our underwear (and yeah, this is frequently). If we settled some day and understood the basic problems of the whole feature palette, we'll talk about tests again.

Food and computers.

Sorry for the fat people as well but i think those is legit.

I am sitting next to this friend of mine in class. She is a bit big. Anyhow.

She opens her laptop and i see her screen. Its dirty. But by dirty i mean fucking dirty. Like brow transparent circle like things all over.

I`m like: “shiiiet， whats that on your screen”.

She: “i am not really sure”.

2 days layer in another class we sit together again and she looks at me with a smile.

She: “look my screen is clean. It was dirty because sometimes o sit in bed and eat chicken then type on my keyboard，so when i close my computer the keys touch the screen and voiiiila!”

Me: “..... Wow”

She was quite proud she had elucidated the problem and did not really understand the meaning of my wow.

A close friend of mine is in his third term in university studying software engineering, asked me how did I land my first job so quickly after graduation.

His question made me stop for few seconds and ask myself, how would my life would've been without Coursera , Udacity, codeacademy and css-tricks.

I literally spent 2 years wasting time in uni then I discovered these sites and started learning while studying just enough to pass subjects that really has no benefit for the future whatsoever.

Even with subjects like data structures and AI, which should be interesting, it was 40℅ theory and the practical part was to complement the theory part, it was never for real world examples.

Kinda feel bad for my friend because he'll end up feeling the same frustration I went through at university.

Even now a year after graduating I feel that the only benefit of my degree was legal.

When would this silly system change ? If university courses can be specialized like online courses wouldn't it bring better talent to the market? And why governments don't take action towards this?

Yesterday, a very good friend of mine who is a philosopher has given me a present: the book "Clean Code" by Robert C. Martin.

This summer is going to be very good. I'm very greatful.

Last week, a company(start-up) came for campus recruitment.

This company was known for its long working hours, giving unrealistic deadlines to the employees, less recreational activities, etc.

Even though the pay was very good, some of them were there just to experience the interview process. All those waiting for the HR round, were half-hearted into the process.

This particular guy(a friend of mine) was so determined to be rejected from the company, that he intentionally screwed up his interview (final round).

Towards the end of the interview, the HR asked him to draw a map/path from his hostel to the building in which the interview was being taken.

Once my friend finished making the figure, the interviewer said “Take this same path, and get back to your hostel”.

SAVAGE!

Even though he was successful in getting rejected, the way he got rejected really crushed his ego.

!dev && !rant

My sister is getting married tomorrow. My cousin will get married in 3 weeks.. a good friend of mine just became a mom.

They’re all about my age.

This made me realize i only have about 2 friends which I see once every few months, don’t meet any new people, don’t take care of my physical health and haven’t been in a relationship for about 7 years by now.
I started working as a dev 8 years ago and really sacrificed my life to the 2 companies I worked for.

I own nice cars and make good money (relatively spoken) , but for me I know I really have to get my shit together and start to actually get a personal / social life.

So I decided to quit my job and move to another country where I feel like I fit in (posted about the idea to do this a while ago and devs here were super supportive, thanks for that guys)

From now on, I’ll make sure to have a good work-life balance and take more care of myself.
Otherwise, success and money ain’t worth shit..

A good weekend to all of you and happy coding.

Quit.

A friend of mine limited their bandwidth on the network 😂😂😂😂

!dev

I'm just fucking glad this day is over

* less than 3h of sleep thanks to insomnia
* unable to get breakfast
* unable to concentrate at work
* Almost falling asleep
* Lunch was not even enough to sate my hunger
* Accidentally upset a good friend because I cannot communicate well in general, but even worse when tired
* Get something snitched away from my by cutting in line
* get told by said person that I should have reacted faster
* get told by said person that they'll sell me the the thing that was supposed to be mine in the first place
* get a half assed apology when they saw that they made me mad (still keeping mentioned item)
* Don't get to meet up with friend for workout
* Get home and don't even wanna do anything

so another java!=javascript rant…

so an inexperienced friend of mine was having a conversation with me, and he was using the words java and javascript synonymously (meaning he thought they were the same thing).

so, i corrected him.
“you know javascript isn’t the same as java though.”

“oh, it’s not? ok then.”
and we went about our day.

three days later he was talking to me again, and we were talking about new web backends, and, as you might have guessed, golang came up.

he then said “i was talking with a noob to programming, and he thought go and golang were the same. i sure told him!”

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Soo I am the only tech-guy in my family and it's a bit like:

Other: You do program?
Me: yes?
Other: pls repair my printer!

And you guys know how awful that is, aren't you? But in my family it gets tougher...

Today my older sister asked me how to save data from a broken HDD. I said I know a guy who's doing forensic on HDDs and he could make that.

She's like: "but a friend of mine said it could be done easier with software"

And yes, it is! But not that successful...

Now's the point she killed me instantly!
She said: "he opened the HDD and said the disks look fine they could be easily added to a new HDD"....

WHAT THE ACUTAL FUCK I SAID NOW YOUR DRIVE IS BROKEN FOREVER! AND THEN SHE INSULTED ME AND BLOCKED ME ON FUCKING WHATSAPP! SHE IS LEARNING WEBDESIGN WHY THE FUCK DON'T TEACH HER THE BASICS OF FUCKING COMPUTERS! Oh for fuck sakes....

Do you have a dev (or informatic in general) nickname?

Oh, I love stories XD

When I was at university, my first boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) was the only one who knows Python (teachers used to teach Java and C#). He was pretty old, like 4 years older than all of us, and when the teacher introduced himself to the group the first day of the semester, "Python" asked

- "Teacher, do you use Python platform?"

I don't know why, but the rest of my classroom mates laughed. And from that day, my friends called him "Python".

The funny thing is that two weeks later he became my boyfriend ^_^ a friend of mine said "he wants to show you his python :o"

A semester after our broke-up, I was invited to teach Python at the university. I accepted. Now some teachers remember me as "Python girl".

When I was in highschool we had to make a project in team. A friend of mine said to a girl in his team to override a bootstrap CSS class. She started doing it at home and after an entire week my friend found out that she opened the bootstrap.css MINIFIED and she was indenting MANUALLY to find the CSS class in order to modify it. ( Obviously he taught her about CSS cascading ).
We still laughing.

A friend of mine wrote a script that blinks the IP (in binary) of his raspberry pi.

I mean, I'm both disappointed and intrigued.

Friend of mine created a blog from scratch... You could create a post, by just sending a POST request (no authentication required!)....
As an additional bonus: you could dump full unfiltered HTML in a post, which was then executed...

Please kill me

A friend of mine who just started work as an Applications Developer. One of his duties is to I quote "Create and maintain inventory, which may include hardware, software and various items such as toners and peripheral equipment"

We had a good laugh together.

Friend of mine who is not a Dev and loves to go out sees me few days ago with a couple of Dev friends...

Dude what's going on? Dude dude let me tell you about this chick... 1 hour later story ends. We gave him respect as one Dev should to a non dev and started talking about IDEs and how the new VS Code is pretty awesome.

He interrupts and goes ... that chick Venesa Code, is she hot? Would you?

Silence ... We would, we all would.

A friend of mine who works in tech support at a college gets this call. The guy on the other end (a college professor) asks how to open an application on his computer.

Tech Support: "There should be an icon on your desktop."

He then hears this strange rustling noise over the phone.....
Tech Support: "What are you doing?"

Professor: "You said to look on my desktop."

Tech Support: "Ummm, hang on. I'll be there in a few minutes."

Worked for a friend of mine in the early 2000s. Had to implement a booking system into PHP for some private customer. This was PHP 4.something, the CMS was some alpha release of an open source project that my friend was sure was the future (it wasn't), and the specs were one A4 page of pencil scribbles that he took while talking to the customer.
Deadline was insane, nothing worked. I worked from getting up to laying down to get shit done, not being able to sleep, feeling stressed all the time. One week before roll-out I actually managed to get it running and we showed it to the customer. He was like "nope, that's not what I meant" and demanded lots of changes but accepted only one or two weeks of roll-out delay.
I did finish the job, made some good money, but then quit as soon as it was done.
This experience broke me so much that I worked in a workshop for 2 years to get away from programming as far as I possibly could.

I presented a graduation relevant project this week.
We re maked our school website. Our teachers liked it, the most students liked it too.
But at the beginning I made wrong decisions.

The guy who should design it made nothing and at the presentation, he told that you need a pencil and eraser to design a website.
A "friend" of mine should do the HTML/CSS part but instead of finish it, he made a not working search bar in JS and was like "I made this, it doesn't work and we don't need it but give me attention"

I hate working in a group.

Sorry for spelling mistakes, English is not my native language.

Not an actual teacher but definitely the guy who thought me the most: @java9

@java9 is a friend of mine who started the apprenticeship with me, but had serval years more of experience than I did.

At first he helped me get through the first complex tasks.

Luckily we are in the same class at professional school, and he helped me studying a lot.

Because of him I was able to develop my skills rather quickly.

Over the years our relationship developed into a close friendship.

Now we are working together as a team on more than side project and I've learned to love his perfectionism when it comes to code.

It's a pleasure to work with you @java9

Thanks for reading fellow ranter, here is a picture of us sharing a beer as a bonus

A friend of mine asked me what's the difference between JavaScript and CSS...

36 hours here.

It wasn't really work, but I went to FOSDEM 2 years ago with a friend of mine that's also a hacker (hardware stuff mostly). So on Saturday we went to all the talks fully energised, when that was done we got back to his home to "sleep", but there's so many other projects to do!! At the time we felt like we really needed a weather fetching thingy in our IRC client (I think it was Hexchat) but that didn't exist yet. So we built it, kinda in a pair programming way, all night long. Oh, it's morning already?! Time to go to the Sunday talks! We were both complete zombies by then, but somehow I still remember a little bit of it.. some ass who was showing oh-my-vagrant (boring as shit) and some other stuff. All in all, 36 hours on the counter when I got in bed completely wasted, but it was so worth it ♥️

[Disclaimer: This doesn't have too much to do on programming or dev stuff]
Earlier today I went to the library (the physical place) and just decided to sit down with some books on computer stuff, at some point I went into the "Education" section to see if they had like how to stuff on programming or whatever, and I found a palm sized rock that was painted white on one side with a dragon hidden behind a book. It said on the back "Post on FB. Keep or rehide"...
So I got my phone out and opened FaceBook, and the first post that showed said "I just hid a bunch of rocks at the Library and [The name of a park nearby]".
I posted some pictures of the rock and mentioned the friend on mine that hid it, and went to another section to hide it again.
I found a second one that said "Be yourself" and the same "Post on FB, keep or rehide" message, one with a Monster on it and at the park there was a mouse eating a piece of cheese.
The mouse one I kept for myself. :D

Spend almost 3 days translating a library from js to python, 2 hours to upload it to PyPI, 10 seconds realizing, that there is already a library that does the same thing + something a friend of mine is working to achieve. I am so fucking done...

(At least I some new learned stuff in JS and Python)

A friend of mine wanted to name her flowers, and was supprised when I had so many nice suggestions. I just suggested names of linux distributions, programming languages and python packages 😅

a friend of mine told me about how he hacked this website

all he did was opening the dev-tools in chrome and changing some values...

Oh god, I was like 13 and just found out about RPG Maker 2000. I got a pirated copy from a friend because ive got no internet at that time. I remember, my first project was with a friend of mine and dayum, we were so dumb and unknowing.

Once we wanted to implement a counter of how many fights a player had.
The problem was, we only knew about switches (boolean variables) and so we started to implement boolean variables like these:

hadOneFight
hadTwoFights
hadThreeFight
and so on, as something like a counter.
We took this to 50 before I asked my friend if this is the right way of doing this.

He answered: "thats probably the reason, why games are so big nowadays" (he just installed morrowind at home...)

Then at one day, I reached the point I didnt knew what I should do next in this project, so I looked around at all the other functions we never even tried and I found something called "variables".
Those where the "real" variables like string and int and wow, suddenly the possibilities where endless. I told him about variables at telephone and what we could do now, but that just got him somehow frustrated so he told me, that he wants to leave this programming thing

Fuck my life! For my studies at University it is required that I learn how to code... Over the past month I've been learning java, and yesterday a friend of mine has introduced me to Go. Now all I want to do is learn Go, meanwhile our Prof pushes us to learn switch-case and goto...

Starting to get really pissed off with the hierarchy in my department that my manager keeps insisting ‘doesn’t exist’ but it clearly does when the other team manager is her best friend, to the point where they go on holiday together, go to each others family parties, etc.

Manager goes on holiday for two weeks and other TL gets on her high fucking horse lording over my team and uninviting me from meetings that she thinks I ‘don’t need to be in’ when the majority of the project is mine..

But my manager hasn’t appointed a deputy.....

I friend of mine was looking for an internship. I asked him what he wanted to do, he said frontend. I said do you know JavaScript. He said that's a long name I like to just call it Java.

So, a friend of mine just got a NullPointerException from his shitty Java code, and decided to fix the problem by catching the exception.
Great fix bro, real smooth..

My colleague is getting a divorce soon because Tinder thought it's a good idea not to add the "Delete" message button.

His wife is a good friend of mine. Finally a MILF I know.

Thanks Tinder.

A friend of mine just told me his job made his company start "Lean Six Sixma" training which is basically a massive scheme that makes you get a karate belt in common sense that you apparently don't have.

Surprisingly frequently in my city, a few weeks ago for example I was in the pub discussing reactjs with a friend of mine from uni and a random bloke cut in with "there was nothing wrong with jquery" (he had a massive grin on his face, so he knew what he said). Spent the rest of the night talking with him and his son who were both consultant developers.

Fun night 🤣

A friend of mine once buried an exception deep in some code that any reasonable programmer shouldn't ever come across that said "you're the worst person I know"

A few days later when a guy in our project was working on his awful patchwork of a database mapping he managed to somehow actually hit this exception. We all got a good laugh out of it!

Not myself but friend of mine. Early 2000s working at a large university. Top notch office PCs for the time, best internet connection in the country.

He discovers this "Bittorrent" program. Meh, just another file sharing thing... but who cares, it's 2003-ish so everyone downloads shit from the internet.

Installs it on his office PC, because its university so no one cares.

Friday afternoon, he starts download of his favourite music album (some hard to get live version or something), then goes off into the weekend, computer is left running as always.

Download is finished after an hour or so, then his Bittorrent client starts seeding. Lots of people want this album. Bittorrent adapts to bandwith and when your connection is good you get upvoted in the network and everyone is connecting to you.

Monday comes, my friend arrives back at his desk, bit late because he slept in and its university so no one cares.

Suddenly realises many missed calls on his desk phone. Calls back, it's from the IT department.

Friend: "You have called me? What can I do for you?"
IT Guy (screaming): "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??? YOUR PC IS CAUSING 50% OF THE UNIVERSITY'S INTERNET TRAFFIC.!!!!"
Friend: "Whops."
IT Guy (hysterical): "WHATEVER YOU ARE RUNNING STOP IT NOW!!!!"

Friend: *stops Bittorrend client, enjoys his favourite album*

Lucky him, it's a university, so in the end no one cared.

So a non programmer friend of mine needed an in house time tracking tool and found one on codecanyon. He bought it for 40$ and asked me if I could provide him some Webspace to host it until they deploy it in house. I said yes and took a look at the code as some stuff wasn't really working. All I can say is "wtf is that pile of crap". Nothing works, it looks like it's written by a first grader and it's UI looks like it was assembled by a chimp (well actually I think chimpanzees could make a better UI). Now I am interested the progress of rewriting that tool for him and I am almost done with all functions that thing should have and even more after 6 hours. I wonder if all stuff on codecanyon has the same quality and if, I am considering this as bonus income...

Computer engineering : Insanity!!!

Today a friend of mine was assigned to make a Client-Server Encryption using Sockets. The guy did a great job applying BlowFish algorithm, but the teacher was disappointed because she couldnt map letters to the encrypted text and she declared the program to be wrong!!!

So a friend of mine is starting to learn PHP and HTML and he tells me:
"I wrote some code in HTML but I can't run it through the browser"

I'm not brave enough to tell him you can't "run" HTML

But later, he told me "so now i'm writing PHP just to understand how it works, but don't want to install the program to run PHP"

How the fuck you gonna learn?

I already know I'm gonna have to build what he wants to do :/ at least a couple thousand euros incoming :D

I'm a teacher myself (for basic Html/css/js and sql 101) and there's nothing like the feeling of seeing your pupils progress. Makes me warm inside everytime :3

As a student though, i remember a friend of mine used minecraft and redstone for a logic circuits course. The teacher, which i guess wanted to show himself, was like "Yeaaah right redstone, i was doing that 20 years ago ...". How to loose credibility 101

A friend of mine had a MacBook. She had a DSLR too and she used some software on her mac to transfer the files on it.

At one point she ran out of space and thought that it's a good idea to uninstall that software as a temporary solution. The software took all her childhood pictures with it.

I just had to walk a friend of mine through the process of buying a steam game. Holy shit it was a nightmare.

I tried to look for ParrotSec on Google because a friend of mine told me about it and instead of typing in what I should I typed, I was off by one key and had actually typed in "ParrotSex".

Anyone else seen this before. A friend of mine showed me this as a return from a third party companies API his office was using

A friend of mine had made a virus that changed and renamed all of my icons to Internet Explorer. The worst part, the icons would have a 50/50 chance of being Internet Explorer or the actual application that I needed

OK. This might sound incredibly stupid. But still...
I decided to help a friend of mine with asp.net assignment. I just know c# and he didn't attend classes. So he came to me with some pizza and beer. So we managed to finish the assignment. In the end we had to add audio to web page and I didn't know how to do it(I've never used Javascript until that moment) . So naturally I googled and tried literally 10 different methods to play audio and none of them worked. I lost my mind and hit the table a bunch of times. After 2 hours I realized that I was wearing my second headphone that is not connected to my laptop and audio is playing on my primary headphone as expected)

Today I ended a coding session by fixing a problem I’ve been having but not the problem I was attempting to patch and I ended up screaming “SHIT NO I FAILED SUCCESSFULLY”

a friend of mine that over heard me was like “dude those aren’t words that work together”

I just replied with “you would think so but it’s more common than you think”

Oh gosh... This week a "friend" of mine will have a job interview for a company I am working at. This guy really just can't Code. He has no understanding of clean code, abstraction etc. He just knows the basics. But he loves to brag how good he is and got his bachelor degree. Damn I hate this guy and I hope HR won't hire him.

!rant

A friend of mine share this image.

A friend of mine wrote a Rubik's cube timer in c# as suggested by me for him to practice. This was so terrible....There were lines like:

start.Stop();

Is it so hard to comment your code?

I work on collab projects here and there and both the comments and documentation are both awful, nearly always, there are some exceptions.

This is a plea to all those who teach anyone to program. "This performs a loop" is not a helpful comment, nor is "This sets variable x to 1" where the line below is "let x = 1".

The last piece of code brings me on to my next point meaningful variable names. If x is a variable that stores the age of a machine call it ageOfMachine or age_of_machine. Not aom, not x but what it actually is, modern IDEs and text editors will fill this out for you.

Finally documentation, a good friend of mine sent me this quote a while back, I can't find the image but "Documentation is like sex, when it's good, it's great. But when it's bad it's better than nothing." Your documentation should be good, a good pattern to follow is the Node.js documentation, it tells the function, what it does and what parameters it takes.

Anyway rant over; and I'm sure that this applies to people outside of this community only.

Not me but a friend of mine worked on xvideos front end and he hated it.

programming is not a piece of cake that you come and eat.
friend of mine thinks programming is so simple.
fuck you who think its easy it takes hours of dedication

Real story :

There's this one colleague, who was a very good friend of mine. Always helped me in everything. That one friend in the team, who shares a lot of stuff with you.

And she suddenly, turns offensive when it comes to professional things and mainly competitive stuff in the team.
She becomes a completely different person when I get recognition for something in the team or when I become popular in the team.

She has that feeling that she should always stay in the lime light.
When I steal the show by doing something good, she starts to show faces.
Decided that it is a unhealthy friendship, as the friend i knew is no longer a friend when it comes into professional behavior at work,
And it started reflecting a lot in our personal friendship, outside work too.

Decided to cut the friendship and only be colleagues.

Did the same happen to someone else? Did you lose a friend because of things like this?

Friend of mine who has a job that uses MS office at most, sent me a message saying "I want to make my own AI, any good python books?"...no previous programming experience other than playing video games...slow down there bud

So a client of mine who I've known a long time referred me to a friend of his for a project. OK great! Quoted the guy a price got the OK but didn't know my client had told this friend they would be paying me for the job. Well I found this out when I went to get payment from the guy. I call my client and he proceeds to tell me "yes we told him we would pay for it but thought it would just be included in our project fee which was already paid".. WTF

A musician friend of mine: SOMEONE SHOULD IMMEDIATELY DEVELOP A LANGUAGE CALLED C♭ OR I'M GONNA FIND A NERD AND BEAT HIM TIL HE DOES SO!

(She's actually a nice person.)

After roasting a pig with a nice honey tun at camping, I went to take a shower...

As shower was pretty relaxing (warm water), I dazed off a bit.

Suddenly the curtain opened, and a friend of mine who wanted to clean the grill stood in front of me...

Wearing two pink gloves, going straight up to the elbow, a bottle of grease remover in the other hand....

Awkward... Is an understatement....

After being mortified we both laughed like lunatics...

Friend of mine had a perfect day today:

It's 3am, you're coding hard, can't even see properly, but you know only a two or three proper lines and you are finished. A few minutes later you set your pc to hibernate because you can't go further and go to sleep.

In the morning/noon you log in, see only a mess. Half of the new variables are probably obfuscated or in some alien language because you can't read that shit and a cherry on the top - 1/4 of a _big_ test suite reports errors. What a lovely day.

a friend of mine made this

EDIT: oh ok devrant isn't liking transparency

I lost my remote job of two years due to our startup failing. After applying to various companies, two weeks later I get my first job offer😀(And I'm not even that skilled).
In comparison, a very experienced friend of mine who works in sales and business administration has been looking unsuccessfully for a job for over a year.
It makes me realise how lucky we are😀

So friend told me I should make a Patreon and make it *serious*

emphasis in SERIOUS

I think his definition of serious is different from mine :3c

Google simply can't knock off harrassing their users with security theatre.

A friend of mine has a small personal YouTube channel. He has recently been bombarded with several phone verification requests a week: "Verify it's you. To continue your session, complete a brief verification. This extra step helps us keep your account safe by making sure it’s really you. "

While frequent verifications may be understandable on YouTube channels with millions of subscribers, channels with only a few dozen subscribers are not attractive hacking targets. A verification would be justified before a potentially harmful action such as deleting videos or deleting a channel. But not for normal everyday use.

What's next? Will they ask users to "verify it's them" every ten minutes, "just for extra security"? Just to verify that it is "really, really, really, really, really" them?

It's not security. It's security theatre.

Sorry, Google, but users are not in the mood of doing a phone verification every other day.

Has this been Google's perverted wet dream all along?

!dev

This has been an eventful week I guess. Not a happy week, however.

A friend of mine passed last Thursday. We weren't too close, but we were still friends, and he was very close to a couple other friends of mine. He'd always had health issues, but he was only 19. He hadn't been out of high school for a full year.

Then I just found out today that another friend of mine got arrested for shooting and killing someone this past weekend. I don't know many details about what happened, mutual friends are saying it was self-defense. He's never seemed like the kind of person that would just murder someone, but shit happens.

a friend of mine and me developed a mmorpg years ago on friday nights and we were learning a lot of sql on the way. for a tidy nested query that sped everything massively up i got a sudden kiss on the cheek at 5am. best reward ever.

Jajaja a friend of mine told me that he was going to pay me if I helped his father with a small system. He told me he was going to pay me %20 and I only had to do the design... Then almost finishing I figured that he was going to receive the %20 from the total payment and I was going to receive the %20 from his part 😓😓 obviously I didn't finish my part and I didn't give them

I hate it when I reject their laughable offer and then they just go on and ask from me to recommend any friend for THAT position. Bitch, I rejected your offer for a reason, what makes you think I'll just throw my friends into those positions that I find offensive for myself. And also it's your job to find people, not mine.

And worst of all is when that come the other day with a different and even more laughable offer and I reject again and they again ask me for recommendations and the loop goes on until I HAVE to become an asshole and tell them some swearing words they could never think of.

So... I had some money left over and added a 3d printer to my terrorist workshop (some of you might remember the picture I posted a while ago. A friend of mine gave it the name after the police stormed a hackerspace in Nuremberg and I wondered when they would kick down my door. )...
That's how far I got in two hours (from cutting open the package), and I don't really fancy myself dexterous... Not anymore at least.
I suppose this will be a weeklong project 😂.

A friend of mine just called me to ask if I can help him hack an Instagram account... In my head (He's quite aware I lost my dad less than a week ago even if I was an hacker I'll expect and respect some little remorse atleast around moments like this, I would not be expected to do dirty shit at these times). (*heavy sigh here*) (*Million cause words here*) (*hung up*)

Hey friends! Milo here, I sincerely hope all of you are having a tremendous day and or night wherever you may be. This photo i have attached here below is a dream one day i wish to achieve.

A good friend of mine who I personally consider a mentor invited me to check out their workplace which one day i really hope to be able to work in! Such a nice place with a spectacular view! Please pardon the horrible weather on that particular day! :-)

Kindest regards
Milo

I've been struggling with some financial issues lately. I haven't told this to my family bc I am helping my mom with money, hat wouldn't help.

Sadly, I got two general tickets for WebSummit 2019 and I thought "okay, I am nearby Portugal rn, somebody of my circle could go with me and have some fun, I feel so blue..."

No one. Not a single one. Nobody.

"Maybe with those Telegram groups of JS developers..."

No one.

Maybe it sounds like some fraud or something, so they didn't answer. I even mentioned to an old entrepreneur friend of mine, and he didn't even answer me.

Disheartened is the word for today. I don't know, I am not expecting that people can join this adventure just bc is awesome, we all have bills to pay, but at least an answer would be fine.

I know it is not a fun story, and there are people in worse situations than mine. I just wanted to do some catharsis bc I lost my laptop.

I still have bills, two tickets, and a new kind of miserable mood.

Thank you for reading.

*deploys another few Telegram userbots for my other Telegram accounts*
*finds a warning in a module it depends on, dev is a friend of mine so report it I guess, low priority as it doesn't affect anything*
*both of us agree that it still works and might very well be a clusterfuck in the bot*
*proceeds with deploying the bot*
Bot> Your API ID cannot be empty, refer to READ THE FUCKING DOCS.io for more information.

Well fuck you too bot!

Couple of months ago a friend of mine got a new charge in the company as director of software development, he is an awesome person, always helping and trying to hear all opinions, but his wife also works there, she is an absolutely awful person, since the new charge of my friend she feels like the boss trying to control the time of the people, and the ways the things are done in the company, and if you don't agree she warns you about telling to his husband, but my friend just try to calm down the things and get to an agreement in both parts. So I mean, bro you are an excellent boss but you should put limits on your wife, at least in the job.

Went to The fruit company (Watch Forrest Gump if you don't know which company I am referring to) to pick an order up for a friend of mine. Showed the girl the email with order ID on my phone, and she tapped "Show Remote Content" without my consent to download the barcode because she was born after 1996 and too lazy to use the keypad on her scanner.

I guess the time has come finally. 🤔

I'm now thinking of how to trace a Facebook user's current location. At first I thought of touching Facebook.

But then I thought that I can just write a webpage which will trace the visitor IP. And send the url to the user.

Oh it's not for me. One of my friends who is also a partner and a client of mine is being harassed by his former business partner. He has sued him but the guy is in hiding but still posting bad news on his Facebook profile.

So my friend came to me for help. :3

This weekend I was working on a fun hobby project with a friend of mine. While he was modeling items for the game I started with a dungeon generator.

This morning I got stuck at a bug which took me more than 12 hours and 4 developers to fix. In the end I found the issue. I was checking

If y > arraySize && somethingElse
DoSomething();

It had to be:
If y < arraySize && somethingElse
DoSomething();

After I changed that everything worked without issues... Day well spent...

A friend of mine and I are about to open a company and we're hiring a developer to develop websites, no specific needs, it literally just have to work.

We found this guy, who develops goodlooking websites, but isn't really a developer, meaning that he just uses visual composers. (which doesn't differ too much from what we want).

Well this guy kinda loves us because we're actual developers who know how to code "properly".

It's the first time someone likes me just bc I'm a developer and I'm already superhappy!

Hope it will get good soon enough!

When I was challenged by my teacher to develop an application for a Solid Mechanics class at university. I developed a dedicated calculator which returned all the results of a given problem, one of which had a graph! I made it with MIT App Inventor and later on took it to Android Studio with a friend of mine.
Best feeling I had at that time!

There is this friend of mine, total business profile, working in banking audit for MNEs. The guy is in trouble with his PowerPoint, asking me if I can assist because "as you working in IT". I'm a Golang distributed system engineer for a major delivery company. Be sure I will call you next time I need to open a bank account.

A friend of mine wants to start learn HTML/CSS/JS and ask me where to start.
Since I started to write them more than 10 years ago, I have no clue where to start, what good ressources are today and so on.

Therefore: what would you recommend, I recommend her?

A friend mine just told me that he broke his phone's screen, and if I know of any places to fix it. I asked him how much damage it had, he said that he'd send me a screenshot...

A friend of mine (beginner) wrote a Python script that calculated the derivative function of an function the user typed in. He showed it to me and
I said: "You should not use eval()!"
He: "Oh, ok. May you write a parser?"
I: "Wait! It's ok. Just use eval!" 😂

I was teaching a friend of mine how CSS works for her exam and we reach the point where she had to style the tables and she reads:

To avoid having spacing between table cells you can use:
border-collapse: collapse
[...]
border-collapse can also have value "separate"

She fucking freaked out like "WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN THE SENSE OF IT? SHOULD I HAVE BORDER SEPARATE: SEPARATE? WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I WRITE THAT TWICE? HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS EVEN WORK OUT?"

I just loved how she doesn't know how to make a website but she already hates CSS before even using it on an actual browser

Ooh... one I can participate in...

My dad was a Java developer, which primarily got me interested.

Back in early 2012, a favorite MMOG of mine shut down and I was interested in how it worked. I was 13 at the time. A friend of mine, on hearing of my interest, emailed me a bunch of links including Chris Pine's ruby tutorial and TheNewBoston.

From then on I tinkered a little with a bunch of different technologies, picked up a few programming books, and now we're here. I've made a little money as a Java developer and I'm working on an iOS game, but I'm still learning and tinkering with new technologies.

One of the colleagues I am close with is changing teams. They will still be around the company, in fact the office of the team they are going to is right by mine. It just sucks to lose a good developer and friend from the team.

(This conversation is going in WhatsApp)

So a friend of mine asks me if i can build an app for a restaurant to place orders etc.

Me: “Sure, can i have his/her phone number to get in touch with them?”

Friend: “uhmm.. i’d prefer that the communication goes via myself. So what do you want to ask to them?”

Me: “i think that it’ll be easier if i can discuss their wishes and the costs directly with them. Don’t you think?”

He did not answered my question yet.

My question is to you guys; is it wise to take a project from someone that i don’t even know..? Probably my friend is willing to earn some money by raising the price that i ask.
Would you take this project?
Tips-/advices please.

Thanks.

A friend of mine removed a paywall deleting the DOM element that covered the page and all functionality from the site was intact.

Some """friend""" of mine asked me help because he has trouble installing WAMP on a Linux distro.

Me: why don't you try to install a LAMP server instead, you are on Linux, you can do whatever you want.

Him: LAMP is not a thing, this doesn't exist, there's no package called like that.

Me: *sends a tutorial to setup a web dev server*

Him: You are so unhelpful, why are you disrespectful like that ?!?

Me: *having some murder thoughts*

Why do I still reply to these people ?

I was a child and I was playing Habbo, I was really addicted to it. A friend of mine in this game said me "why don't we create a fansite?" and I said "ok lol" because I imagined that creating a website would have been funny and easy. So I searched on Google how to create websites, and I discovered HTML. The first version was terrible, but with experience it went better day by day. It lasted 6 years and we had 200 users per day

A close friend of mine and i talked a while back and it went a little like this.

friend - "You like programming right"?
me - "Yeah"
friend - "I got a great idea"

She never really told me what the whole idea is. She said its easier to explain face to face but i can guess it's dev related.

But here's the issue. I have a tendence to just suddenly loose all motivation for a project (look at my github) and i'm afraid that i'll loose motivation for the thing she wants to do with me and i'll disappoint her.

Do i help her with her idea or not?

Keep in mind that i'm not a actual dev. Its just kinda my hobby. I can do it for free. Thats not the problem.

!rant
A friend of mine got this piece of gold, im so curious to read it tomorrow at work!
(He bought it in a german store called "Kaufland")

I applied for two technical talks in a popular conference summit, the two talks were turned down and the reason was that they are much more technical talks than mine. I switched to watch the live stream today and all i see is a bunch of stupid talks (they decided to pick a talk on git aliases over working with change streams and multi document transactions in mongodb). A friend of mine just told me, your talk won't be accepted if you don't know any of the organizers

I just had to explain a friend of mine, an "engineering" student, how to copy and paste text in MS Word over the phone for half an hour. It's 12:30 in the night and I am frustrated as fuck

So the other day my car broke down and since the shop wanted a lot of money I asked a friend of mine who knowns his way around cars for help.
Just when we finished repairing it I was like "whenever the Zombie apocalypse starts you'll be really useful, me instead won't be since no one might need computers anymore" . His response was epic:
"Nah, you will simply build a terminator with your computer skills and it will kill all Zombies!"
Now I am actually looming forward to the Zombie apocalypse!

TL;DR: us geeks will build terminators in case of zombies!

A friend of mine is youtuber and he does a lot tests on phone ( call him X)
Another friend of mine hates Apple product. Partly because he can’t afford it (call him Y)

whenever X wants to do a WATER RESISTANCE TEST, Y would go: “Lets fuck Iphone”
whenever X wants to do a HEAT RESISTANCE TEST, Y would go: “Lets fuck Iphone”
whenever X wants to do a DROP TEST, Y would go: “Lets fuck Iphone”

One fine day, same happened and X got a bit red. X says: Y come here. Closer, a little more ( few centimeters away now). “Are you fucking mad or what?”

Looks like my new years resolution is to be more controversial.

I realize that all the OSes can easily have 10s with the correct setup, however that wouldn't be much fun.

Bit of background:

After I almost threw a Windows pc against the wall for not being able to ssh from the cmd after I had already spent ages trying to install something, which was one command on the Linux and Mac terminal, I thought about the differences between the 3. Then, when a friend of mine (who has used Linux for many years) spent many hours trying to connect a pair of headphones to his Linux computer, I decided to make this graph to spark a debate and hear your opinions.

I was kinda proud, when I released a new test version of my android app, since I had a couple of new features and bug fixes. As soon as I told a friend of mine about it he found a error that has never occured before in the method. This only happens in the release build. Why does it happen? BECAUSE SOME DAMM VIEWS WANT TO BE INITIALIZED AFTER DAMM THE APP HAS BEEN PAUSED/MINIMIZED

A friend of mine invited me to a project he was given. So basically is a flutter project already started by a guy on Fiverr... I'm just mad at the code the guy wrote! Now we have to refactor the ENTIRE code because the guy didn't know what he was doing!!!

This is my 1st rant, if i did something wrong, please rant at the comment section

A client I've been working with was supposed to pay me for $710, a pay for my two-month work for two of his projects.

He called me today saying that he could only pay $179 and that I need to wait for my unpaid salary. This guy is a friend of mine and he lowkey gives me access to his Netflix account, so I don't really know how to feel.

Do I get mad? Do I laugh it off?

Any same experience here?

First time setting up a linux distro for myself I decided to do it on an external hard drive. Accidentally formatted the whole thing. Lost 200gb of anime.

I restored about 60% soon aftet meeting up with a friend of mine. But it was still devastating.

Question here - what do you guys think of Kotlin?
Do you also think it'll be sufficient to learn Kotlin and not java to programm for Android?

I just began the transition, it's fun playing around with it, but a friend of mine wants to learn Kotlin to learn Android programming (and not java, he only has java basics).

What's your opinion on all this?

In addition to my first Homeoffice photo, another part of my office: the Geek corner. The Android plate can glow in 6 different colors. It's a selfmade present from a friend of mine. :)