A guy and a girl are in a Java seminar.

Afterward, the guy approaches the girl and asks, "Hey gurrl, can I get your number?"
Girl says "Sorry, I don't give out my number, it's private."
Guy says, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were in the same class!"

I thought it would be good prank change semicolons to Greek question mark in my boss' code where his delivery date is today. I thought he will spend like at least few minutes figuring it out.

He ran make, immediately figured it out and even corrected with sed only. Then yawned and looked at me with a smirk. Now I am getting paranoid what he will do as revenge

Got semi drunk and thought "Now would be a good time to implement this feature"
*Codes for 2 hours straight without compiling once*
"Done. Good night"

The next morning:
Gets up and tries out feature
*Fixes 2 syntax errors/typos*
*Tries again*
*Feature works*

Oh for crying out loud, Github is stopping with the term 'master' due to its 'negative association'.

Can we please not pull everything out of goddamn context and not be a fucking offended special snowflake with ANYTHING that could potentially be thought of in a way that could be associated with slavery?!

If we're gonna do it like this I want to ask people of color not to use white/light themed websites/backgrounds.

I thought i'd see what the avatars look like with different color eyes.
I personally like red. It really brings out the undying hatred I have for my peers.

Someone on my Facebook was boasting that he now has 1Gb internet speed.

Turns out he bought a 1Gbit ethernet card for his PC and thought that alone would raise his broadband speed..

After months of agonizing work I found out my team mate deleted my code cause they thought it was useless. Then they come back and ask if I KNOW WHERE THE BUG IS. I now realize how true this is.

I've seen some people on here mention a show called silicon valley, so I thought I would check it out. I started yesterday... I'm already in the middle of season 3, I didn't sleep much last night...

So my friend just got a new laptop and she never used a Linux based OS before,so I recommended it to her as she is also a CS under grad student,so I thought she might find it useful and interesting to try it out on her own ..This was her rant

👋🏻 So, yesterday I thought I'd quit...

👠 Today it turns out I've been fired, and my resignation wasn't opened 😂 😂

🖕 Hannah from HR

In fairness I did literally say that to Hannah from HR yesterday in a sort-of-attempt to get myself fired, so... I'm not quite sure who wins...

So I just found out sorting by "algo" stands for algorithm.
I speak spanish and I thought it means "something" 😂.

google drive, dropbox, onedrive and GITHUB (😞) blocked for political reasons in Turkey...
Little thought for the dev's out there and every people that uses those services for work

@dfox so is devrant turned out to be what you thought/hoped it'd be when you first started it, or is it different than the initial idea?

Half a week later I finally found out why my DNS server "wasn't working" on any of my servers.

Let's just say that MullVad's anti-dns leaking technology works extremely well.

It was tunneling all DNS requests through its own servers to prevent DNS leaks and I never thought of it a single fucking time!

😅

*sees new trendy language*

- language is as fast as c
- cross platform
- extensive libraries, tools and tutorials
- easy to learn
- conceptually well thought-out

*doesn't like syntax*

oh well...

So apparently I got added to a Python dev group by a random person.
I thought okay cool I might learn new things and connect with some great people in the industry.
Turned out that it was just a bunch of noobs.

When I gave an honest response to a question asked by the admin (who turned out to be a noob as well), he kicked me out.
I honestly don't know if there's any official certification for Python other that the one I said.

- Hmmm, react is not as difficult as I thought. Good tool, let's use it.

- Hmmm, Vue is amazing, let's use this instead, much easier.

- Hmmm, Angular 4 is out, let's retire to a deserted island and sell coconut water for a living.

The sooner you start coding, the longer it will take.

This was meant as a way to tell us all the slow down and plan first. If you go right into coding things before the structure is thought out you will end up with garbage code.

Almost got my manhood out at work.

There I was in deep thought needing the toilet but wanted to get a coffee first. So I get up go to the kitchen and catch myself next to the bin unzipping.

Photo I took last week.. I thought there is some virus heating up my laptop.. but then I figured out .. it was chrome browser and extremely hot weather 46.7℃

"I thought you were supposed to be good with computers"...

Yeah, let me just pull my fucking printer fixing degree out of my crusty asshole so you can bitch more about some other technology that I almost never use but assume I can just immediately fix just because I'm a dev

...mom

I just found out devRant was written in php. But I thought on devRant everybody hates php..?

New video card is arriving today.

I'm about literally counting minutes to the delivery time 😅

Since AMD develops native Linux drivers I thought this would be safe enough, let's see how that works out!

Never thought an Icon Font library would make a million bucks in Kickstarter. Check out Font Awesome's campaign if you're a fan. They've got some sweet backer rewards.

Someone asked for internship at DevRant and got this answer, since the devs haven't made a big thing out if it I thought I'd just leave this printscreen right here..

You know what point I'm trying to make :)

Edit: I just renewed, dunno who my ++ isn't showing..

I never thought I'd code C#, but it turns out that I just got a dev job doing it 😂

For 30+ years I thought I needed faster computers. Turns out what I needed was a dog.

Yesterday I was downloading illegal movie from the Internet and found this movie under comedy section and thought to download. After downloading I found out that it was a girl-to-girl porn.

Dear Developers and Content editors
Do your fucken job right and link the correct files.

Thank you.

PS: I enjoyed the porn

I ran out of instant noodles and had to go out to buy some, and literally the first thought that came to my mind was "Why the fuck is the sun so bright"

No, seriously, why does it feel so bright

Random thought coming through

Emojis are UTF-8 and there are a TON of them. Wouldn't a password made out of Emojis be way more secure than a normal one?

I asked my 7-year-old niece to either do her holiday homework or do 100 Sit-ups, without saying a word she went out of the room so I thought she had gone to collect her books but instead, she came back with a water bottle and said: "start counting now".

++-ing a random rant from the feed is like a one night stand whereas subscribing to a user's rant is like a long term relationship!

I’ve had a complicated relationship with my mother for as long as I remember and made the decision years ago to more or less cut her out of my life. I thought if anything happened to her, I’d be okay, that it wouldn’t affect me.

But my mum died on Sunday.

And I’m not okay.

End of second week at a new job. Found what I thought was a bug and wanting to impress I fixed it. The dev reviewing my code had just started a week before me so he also had no idea what was going on. It went live Friday afternoon.

Come back Monday morning and turns out I completely broke everything and nobody could use the site all weekend. I thought I was done for sure. Was shitting myself all day waiting for the call.

TURNS OUT NOBODY EVEN NOTICED

My friend brought me this, saying "I just found this in my junks, thought it might be useful for you. Weren't you a programmer?"

At first I thought I should explain about how fast everything changes over here and how it is out of style to talk about 2000s technologies, let alone a book from 1973!
I just said "Thanks! In fact it is a precious antique. I'll add it to my collection."
It really is.

I just burped out loud on a live call with about 30 people and I thought my mic was muted.

friendsList.getBest().getHelp()
doesn't work.. I thought getBest() returns null.. but it turns out that friendsList is empty..

*cries in whatever language

I get pissed when somebody takes me out of my coding mindset for something minor. A deep bubble of abstract thought gets popped so that I can be told that we'll be eating dinner in an hour. I then have to start my thought processes from scratch.
This is why I can't get any work done during the daytime, and why I do all my coding at night.
This comic depicts this issue perfectly.

I had a 6 hour flight home so thought I would do some coding. We take off, get to cruising altitude, I get my laptop out and boom windows update. It's like they know the most inconvenient time possible FML

I thought this was a bug at first, but turns out a rant got more attention than I expected.

At first I thought fml means fuck my life but, it turns out, it means fuck machine learning.

Switched to DuckDuckGo, because Google thought it would be nice, to ban the Proxy IP of our company (because you know, many requests) from searching and putting us behind these captcha monstrosities. I don't want to captcha myself out of every query I have for goddamn 2 minutes with slow ass fading images.

Turns out, I like their service even more.

The day I got my first interview, my dad kept fighting over the phone with me. He thought I was out with my girlfriend having fun. He told me no way anyone would waste their time interviewing me, let alone hire me.. Boy did I prove him wrong!

Just came across this quote...

"The worst thing you can do for your organization is prove how smart you are."

Liked it and thought I'd share it to all the devs out there.

At first I thought this app was a monster. Something to be afraid of. Turns out it’s more like an autistic puppy that’s been beaten by a dozen owners. It’s scared, snappy and confused.

Was trying out React Native and creating a Hello World, I checked the file size and it was about 465mb, and I just thought it was nonsense, then I checked the size of the node module and it was 465mb...smh

god damn node modules man!

@dfox great job on the upvote/downvote system. You really thought this out. And i appreciate this level of thoughtfulness.

Got in trouble today during a Data integrity meeting, everyone kept talking about data massaging. "Massage this data", "massage that data table", "insert massaged data".

Finally I just blurted out, "yeah massage it all you want but how do I get a data happy ending?"

I thought it was hilarious. The other DBA and backend devs thought it was jokes, my manager... Not so much.

Apparently, I need to keep "thoughts and comments about data happy endings to myself moving forward".

Okay. 😆😆

I thought I taw a bug! Turns out they really are called Undefined 😅

Internet is fluctuating in our office.
The network team sent out an email of unscheduled outage.
I thought of replying back,
"Have you tried turning it off and on again".

My relative once called me and asked if she could come over to my house so that I can copy Facebook over to his flash drive. Turns out that she accidentally deleted the bookmark to facebook.com and thought that she'd lost it forever.

This is want happens to you when all of your relatives found out that you are "good with tech".

MY LAPTOP just scared the shit out of me. It screamed words like a demon. I thought that I am hacked. But it was just a screen reader... I accidentally activated it or something while unlocking the lappy.

Aye so i got a new job, and its android. I thought "yeah sure, ive been a java dev my whole life, it will be easy".

And it is easy.

But its like a fleshed out java, with a trillion built in classes and xml (seroiusly, fuck xml), and also the studio eats away my ram.

I FREAKED OUT

I WAS A DIFFERENT PERSON FOR SOME REASON

Dfox thanks for the heart attack, I thought I got hacked.

I researched a bunch of really beefy computer parts yesterday and the total for the PC came out to be just $2,500 INCLUDING $500 in monitors (HD 144HZ 27')

I genuinely thought this build would be upwards of $4,000

Time to max out the old credit card

Titled my presentation "High Availability Setup", after a moment of thought, I changed it to "High Availability Architecture".

There, I will sound a bit more intelligent when I read it out loud on Monday. 😎😂

What the actual fuck?!!! ifconfig: command not found even after installing net-tools, just wtf

Who the fuck thought replacing nicely formated output of ifconfig with that garbage that "ip a" shits out was a good idea?!!

I will hate whoever did that until they burn in hell

That time I thought I crashed a prod server which I had no access to physically turn it back on. Turned out it was doing its weekly reboot. Scary 3 minutes.

Went to the ATM to get some cash.. entered an amount of 800 INR and to my surprise got an error saying "Your account does not have sufficient funds for this transaction" .. Instantly thought that my account has somehow been compromised.. checked the bank app and found out that I everything was normal..

As it turns out the ATM machine did not have 500 or 100 INR notes, thus it could not dispense my requested amount..

Now that's what we call a "Good" error handling..

Few months back, one of my good but non-dev friend came to visit me.

He: I've done a website in HTML. Can you help me make it responsive.

Without a second thought, I agreed.

*Opened the file in editor*

<tables> <tables> <tables> <tables>

I kicked him out of my house without a second thought.

Was working on a problem yesterday, couldn't solve. Out of town today and thought of a possible solution enroute. But fuck me, coz i dont have my laptop!!

Feel so helpless!! :/

When your university drops the support for IMAP on their mail-server, leaving Exchange as only possible option, because apparently the thought that somebody MIGHT be using Linux in a fucking IT major is completely out of this world...

I thought I'd always be a die-hard proponent of working from home; it can be great for the right person: and I thought that would be me; but with the family I have? It's turning into a disaster. They're too used to having me around, my wife is becoming too used to making arrangements that involve me taking an hour or two out of the day here and there; she doesn't know the impact of context switching in the middle of the day. If I refuse to help her out, that makes me the asshole. Then I get ratty because I feel the stress of being unproductive, and guess whose fault it is again? Mine. The kids rush in and out of my work area, or get upset when I come out for a coffee and don't want to spend time with them, but it's not their fault, at 2 and 4 they don't understand. Take me back to the fucking office, I'm done.

I just want to work. How hard is the concept of being left the fuck alone.

I was baffled when I found out my girlfriend Google's things as actual questions instead of keywords.

I know it's fine considering the search has to work with voice assistant, I just thought everyone did keywords.

Python is so elegant and well thought-out .. it's almost seducing.

WOW!! What a fucking cop out. After what happened yesterday about branching. my senior and our boss had a meeting and I wasn’t included. My senior then message me to next time dont create another branch just use the existing branch even if it was merged. I said “ok but i thought thats the best practice, we we’re doing that since the beginning”. Senior then responded “Whats best practice for our boss, that will be our best practice” what a fucking cop out!!! Bitch!!

How is anyone supposed to compete with those kinds of numbers?

I thought the industry was struggling to find people?

Looked at a dozen other jobs just like it.

How are you supposed to stand out at all, if you're just getting started?

After googling "fuck whoever thought of open plan offices" out of pure rage, I found this gem of a website, now I'm happily surprised I'm not alone. :)

A coworker has just finished setting up his new linux installation after removing windows when windows 10 was released. Caught him out with fakewindowsupdate.com, he thought microsoft was forcing it.

Any one else’s kinda enjoy the process of removing tech debt? always thought it felt good to rip out old shit to put in shiny new shit

Felt like a badass when I figured out a way to get my massive wallpaper collection onto my company provided laptop which was completely and I mean COMPLETELY locked down.

I couldn't bear the thought of using the default Windows wallpapers 😂

Thought to start a programming blog.
Registered domain and hosting.
Created some posts.
Didn't get new idea/content to post.
Disconnected domain from hosting out of shame.

Sounds a lot like he's out for some fucked up facebook permissions, thought facebook "removed" all of them?

For the past month my phone has been unlocking really slow. I thought it was just software or the hardware starting to fail.

I finally decided to put my Professional Googling (read: Computer Science) degree to work and instantly found out it was because I had a slow 128gb SD card in it.

Removed it and everything is tip top now.

The pandemic is more serious than I thought. Out of boredom, I started writing a book. Post-apocalyptic sci-fi horror. I have 75 standard pages behind me and I still have something to write.
I guess a lot of people trying to do the same.

Users.

For once they used their brains.

For once they thought about repercussions of clicking on inconspicuous links in emails.

And naturally it happened when I sent out a legitimate email to stop their shopping sprees.

But then again, I would rather have paranoid users than clicky-go-lucky.

Today, my manager complained that my productivity doesn't match that of a senior engineer. I pointed out that senior isn't in my job title. He told me he thought of me as a senior engineer. I didn't dispute that that matches the level of experience I have, but it's not in my job title.

A friend of mine had a MacBook. She had a DSLR too and she used some software on her mac to transfer the files on it.

At one point she ran out of space and thought that it's a good idea to uninstall that software as a temporary solution. The software took all her childhood pictures with it.

Hi devRant!

I take a CS class in the UK and can not believe how people use technology. Almost everyone is using smartphones and stuff but somebody can't get out of fullscreen in chrome.

He thought he broke the computer smh

The bartender stole one euro from me. (Just didn't give me the rest of my money)

So like the awkward nerd that I am, I left and will just sulk and never go back there. I thought this was my new nook. Turns out, no more.

Sad Friday evening noises in distance.

Not work but

Years ago when i was in middle school i wanted to mess with the school computers a bit so i made a desktop shortcut for shutdown and changed the name and icon to google chrome.
The person in charge of the it department freaked out and thought some kind of a massive virus infected everything.

Long story short turns out they had an event logger installed, figured out it was me and what i did...
I nearly got expelled 😑

I forgot to put myself out of office today on our call schedule... Thought I'd get away with it because I shouldn't get calls anyways. Got a call. Not handling it, passed it on, but it woke me up... :(

Tried to figure out why my computer was being slow and lagging earlier. Thought it may have been a bad update to the kernel I recently did, or an update to a package.

No, it was chrome and its horrible memory usage.

Every programmer had these times when he thinks of an idea to develop and tries to hide it from anyone finding out, but later he gets bored and brags his thought.
:) :)

i always go out of my way to help people learning to code. as a self-thought coder myself, i remember the struggles of starting out and not knowing the basic shit. but it seems that in todays environment, when there are a lot more resources, gamified platforms, tutorials, online courses, paid and free, their motivation to actually learn stuff, is non existing.

learn what the css property actually is before torrenting the fucking useless 40 hours video tutorial on how to use the shitty bootstrap.

Sales was about to close what I thought was supposed to be a basic WordPress project with a pretty steep delivery time (two weeks). I thought to myself: "well, ok. It's going to be rough for us to fit it into our existing schedule, but I guess the budget (unusually high) compensates." After I say OK, I find out that they were actually about to sign a FE application that takes data from various document management applications. I lost my shit. I hope there's a special place in hell for sales reps that don't get the specs before accepting projects.

So this just happened. A friend whom I made a little project for came to me like "hey man that project thing just gives a white page". It's written upon the old version of a framework I'm still writing. After a few minutes I found out that it's failing to load all core modules. Turns out there was a file in the core modules directory with the .save extension. Never thought I'd have to take that into consideration in my code!

SHIT. Power cut, don't know yet how much code lost, train of thought destroyed. 2 hours to wait to find out. Time for a 4g wank methinks.

A client once thought I was making "the trees come out of the screen" because I used parallax scrolling with a forest photo..

that feeling when everything isnt responding anymore so i thought task manager could handle it..... turns out task manager is like everything else....

Task Manager (not responding)

Thought I would only do frontend-stuff when I started working. Boy I was wrong. I thought it would be easy coding in a real company and not just in schoolprojects, boy I was way out in the blue. But when your code works and is actually used by people, I never could've imagined that would feel so good!

I was skimming a FedEx page to track a shipment when out of the corner of my eye I see “Watch list” and almost had a merry little panic attack because I apparently did not get the requisite amount of sleep for rational thought.

FedEx, our ideas of watch list are very different.

A few days back I read an article about ethical hacking and get rewarded for bug bounty. I thought that might be interested.

AND

I'm about to send out my first ethical hack report to a company! I'm nervous because I don't know how they'll respond. It's an xss vulnerability, and I really hope they'll fix it.

I don't pay much attention to my local file system when developing-- that's what my operating system and IDE are for. ...So I've thought, at least.

Today, my code didn't compile. I'd been noticing some pesky 'running out of memory' notifications, and mostly brushed them aside. I've spent the last hour deleting various log files and defragging the drive.

Still can't find a decent node MVC framework. Thought I'd list out all my requirments and what I'd like.
Turned into a readme of me moaning about current frameworks. Not sure I want this on github

Devlife

College male computer science student here:

Even when I find attractive girls who want to date me, the thought of it stresses me out. In reality if I can truly chat and have a good time with a girl she has been friend zoned.

Advice anyone?

I'm working part time as I'm a student and I always thought working in a company would be awesome as I learned programming all by myself and could actually do things now.
30% is updating, compiling
50% is using google to find out if I can even use 27 .net frameworks together and make it work on Android and iOS
15% is finding out what the error code is supposed to mean
And 5% is actually using a programming language.

Just noticed my Students Union sent out a newsletter for International Women's Week that went straight into the spam folder.

Usually get the other newsletters. Just thought that was a bit funny.

Came down with the virus.

I thought it would miss me, and I would have a cool story to tell people about how I came out is the pandemic unscathed.

Now I will have absolutely 0 interesting stories to tell my grandchildren.

i've got my first job after getting out of college. not a great package. I'm learning more, will get experience. i have plans for freelancing and seek a better job. I'm an Indian.

what really upsets me is that I just discovered that I've no knowledge in finance. I'm feeling insecure, afraid and depressed. I'm browsing for some youtube channels, books and podcasts to get some some knowledge about finance and real estate.

all I have is a saving account in SBI bank, I just know how to take money out of it with my debit card and transfer money with online banking

how do u guys do ur finance, where do u invest. do u invest in stock market. insurance?? help me out. i'm fucked.

never thought i can be so stupid, I hate myself, never even thought I'll need financial intelligence.

are there more people like me.

i'm just so down and feeling suicidal.

Thought I'd try out Asp.Net Core + React + Redux, at first I got shocked from the TypeScript shit I saw, but an hour later, I like what I'm seeing :P

My Unix class
👨‍💻using nice looking theme for vs code to edit my bash script

Prof: That's a nice looking theme( he thought it was vim theme)
Me: um.. um.. It's vs code, new guy in a town
Prof: uh! 🤔
Me: ( 5 sec silence) um, It's from Microsoft
Prof: GET OUT!

Seems like Bitbucket's pushes go through like this...

Took me a while to figure out what it was.

Initially I thought Google had acquired BitBucket's, then it hit me...

So saw that google released 'official' themes for chrome and thought fuck it, lets try it out...

Chrome will only use CSD if you use the default fucking GTK+ theme else it will revert to chromes custom icons...

Just how fucking lazy do you have to be for this to still be a thing?!

My dad just found out his laptop is running Windows 10..... He thought it was still running 8.1....

Somehow he missed the party where all Win 8 PCs get a free upgrade to 10....

When our org got sold to another company, and we weren't informed about anything that was going on. There were whispers of emails that went out, that we first thought meant we were keeping our jobs, but it turned out emails = severance packages. Friends that I have worked with for years were dropping like flies and all we could do was wait.....it was awful, and extremely emotional 😢

Freshman out of the university started working for me as a php developer. Software Engineer from a major Australian university. First project, a WordPress plugin... Two weeks down the track I had to explain to him the concept of sessions and multiple visitors. WTF are they thought at universities these days?

I was on the train and a woman came aboard. The only available seat was next to me. She takes this huge laptop out of her bag. While I observed this, I thought: she's going to code. She logged in and.. GitLab! She was writing R code.

aaAAaaAaaAaaAaAAAAAaAaaa floating points!

I debugged my algorithm for quite a while, wondering why it sometimes gives out "Circle(Point({1.7976931348623157E308,1.7976931348623157E308}),1.7976931348623157E308)" as the smallest circle around a group of points.
Figured out that it sometimes just never found any circle defined by two or three of the points which included all points (which is mathematically impossible).
Then finally I made it print out the points it thought were not inside the circle:
"1,7,8: Circle(Point({0.6636411126185259,0.535709780023259}),0.4985310690982777)
skip, 1 not inside"
So it defined the circle with 1 being on the edge, but then thought 1 was outside. Thank you, floating point Math.

For anyone wondering about the notation: That way I can directly copy/paste it into Geogebra to have a visualisation.

Cursors.

WHY U DO DIS?

I know I'm impatient but 20 minutes _and still going_ on an update is madness, even at this volume records, and it's all because one of the numerous dependent triggers is running A CURSOR. Genuinely thought the query had just put itself out of its misery, as I am tempted to do.

The first anime that I watched, almost 20 years ago, just came out with a sequel....

The thought is just wow.... it's been so long since...

But looks like the characters didn't grow... lol

I just tried out Django, and it's great! Just thought I'd share.

1 dept with only 1 staff, well 1 chief to be precise, all employees quit. Another dept with not enough manpower. Requested the dept with highest manpower to help with other depts tasks while struggling and solving the shits out. Thought company is bullying them with extra workload and voice out they are looking for new jobs.

They are not wrong. And that's the bittersweet shit I have to swallow. In the end, it was my responsibility and I'm not doing enough.

Thought I was on a Dev SQL server. Dropped a primary user. Turns out I was on prod.Oops..

I haven't been here for a long while but I wanted to peek in because of the dev ducks, cause I thought they would be a great gift for someone and now I found out they're sold out - my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

But now I decided I'm just gonna buy. a rubber duck and DIY it.

I reached out to a developer who's site was being contracted out to Amazon devs, because when their site launched it had a couple of security issues. This was his response:

"An additional thought/opinion... Just because a college freshman from Arizona wasn't too hungover to make the effort to notify us and take the liberty of classifying this as a security issue for us doesn't mean we need to take their word for it."

I received a computer to work on for work and needed a knife to open the box. That's when my coworker pulled out this nugget of wisdom:

Coworker: My knife has a knife on it.
Me: Really?! Who would've thought?

I’m currently working on the profile view in JoyRant, which turns out to be much more work than I thought.

Anyway, after many iterations on the appearance, I’m now finally satisfied about how it looks and works. Especially the category picker (Rants, ++’s, Comments, Favorites).

What do you think? Do you like it?

When I got changed between 3 projects in one month. Everytime I thought I got it figured out... NOPE. New project, new stuff to learn, comprehend and implement.

Very shitty period.

Maybe it's just me, but taking dev work from a little side gig to a salaried career is more difficult than I thought it'd be. Soooo many applications going out with nothing back, recruiters ghosting...maybe it's just a bad time for jobs in general but good lord is it exhausting and stressing me the hell out.

Just figured out that while I was on vacation they made a really well thought (not) decision to switch to Firebase despite having 4 fully managed VPS with low usage.

Wanna know what the big deal is?
The only one who looks like knows anything is the fucking intern.

I was trying to understand the thought process and everything revolved around "its real time" argument.

No one knows how the api really works, the benefits of "real time" , and we are using the free plan :)

Yeah... People really do overthink things here...

!rant
I’ve just looked into Rust a bit deeper and was absolutely stunned by how many things it has in common with Swift. The Syntax, the features, the concepts, the "philosophy".

Previously I thought that Kotlin is what comes closest to Swift.

Anyway, Rust seems like a beautiful language and it’s no wonder that it is one of the most loved languages out there!

The compile time index out of bounds errors blew my mind!

Planned on installing Linux, for the first time, on a old computer today. Turns out you need a usb-stick to install it from. Minimum 2gb. - No problem, I thought, because I have a old stick in a drawer. Turns out it was on 128mb. Outdated technology. Time to go shopping.

Always thought writing free code is devaluing yourself. So, the stories coming out how the most popular used libraries' dev/maintainer having no income, complaining afterwards doesn't surprise me.

Why do people devalue themselves? I have no idea.

One fucking week I was trying to solve a bug where I could save data to neo4j but not retrieve it.

I thought there has to be a bug within the library. But it turns out, I referenced the wrong class.

I need ducks...

About twice a year some of my relatives call me up and say they have a computer virus, but then it turns out they just clicked "yes" when some sketchy website asked to send them notifications and now they're getting hot singles in their area notifications every time they open Chrome to check out their bank account

Who at Google thought this was a good idea???

Starting out as an Android Developer, at first I thought I'm not cut out for this but after finding this app I'm a little more confident in myself, Everybody needs to rant every once in a while! Glad I found this, everyone on here seems awesome!

So I was playing with Gboard and decided to do a thing only with it's autosuggestions. This was a part of what I wrote with it "my friend says PHP4 I will throw it out of my system"

We can now conclude Google isn't as bad as we thought it was.

I work remotely from the rest of my team and I just came back from a 1 week vacation. Logged in this morning and no one else was online...

My first thought was WTF happened... did something blow up do bad they all gelot fired???

Turns out today is a holiday for them. So now I've a whole day of peace and quiet to figure out what the hell in supposed to be doing again.

Thought about playing a bit today.
Booted windows. Got 2 bsod in 5 mins.
Wiped out windows from hdd.
This was the last step of my "gaming" era.

got this cool protein powder thing and it tastes like chocolate when I mixed it with some milk yesterday

figured it's like hot chocolate but makes you feel awesome!

put powder in a cup and filled it with hot water today
this was a mistake.
turns out protein clumps under heat. it tasted so gross. I threw it out.

I thought I was so smart

I thought it'd be tough getting the stickers, but turns out the true struggle is choosing which one to use. They're both so good!

Literally slept off during this zoom call. I just woke up I don't wth everyone is talking about. Turns out my PR was up for discussion. Now I have to review a bunch of shit I thought I was done with. OS maintainers can be a pain sometimes 😭

Somewhere out there, a middle manager looked at SAP's time tracking tool and thought, "This, yes, this is exactly what we need in our organisation"

I don't get all the hate for Javascript, or I might be spoiled with ES6 and React clouding my judgement. :P

I could write web pages in Javascript all day long. It's better in my opinion then writing pure HTML and CSS. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Maybe I'm more cut-out for full stack dev work then I thought...

Ooh. Here's a "deep" one.

For the self thought/online learners, at what point did you consider yourself an "actual" developer and felt ready to go out and apply for jobs and stuff?

And what challenges/reactions did you face?

I worked for a neutriceuticals company that I thought was going to be a crap job. Turned out to be the best employer I ever had. No micromanagement. Great team.

The first time I saw "Real Feel" or "Feels Like" on the weather app, I thought that number was calculated by someone going out of their home every hour or so and reporting what it feels like outside. I thought this would be a perfect job for someone who spends a lot of time at home...

So I just found out that multi-line editing can copy a matrix of letters and paste it on other lines. This is amazing. Imagine being the person who thought of this feature.

Love when I'm using a tool and get "damn this is well thought out" feeling. Magit (Git client) for Emacs. Been using it for a couple of years and still get these awe moments.

Some kid on stackoverflow, just starting out in the coding world, posted his resume to the board and asked what people thought.
Immediately recieved 3 negatives and then had the post removed.

Pretty shitty community - we all started out once, just give him some useful pointers. What a miserable lot.

Started getting into drawing to get it all out, thought some of you might find this humorous, given our strange nature.

Same rules apply as other social media. If this upsets you, insert a tampon and jog on.

Holy shit, it happened to me today, I thought it was a myth that people actually use zip for source code.

So, got the task to help out the operations team naturally I for access to the repository. I got a zip file.

#fml

So we thought we did something wrong and caused our AdX revenue to plunge. But after 'fixing' yesterday, we broke it further. Then we realised there were alot of illogical numbers on AdX report. We are suddenly making 1/3 of our ad revenue! I am running out of ideas. Anyone else is facing same issue?

My very first time was when I first saw a Web page, I really wanted to know how they did it. Two weeks later I built an intranet at home and I thought I was so cool I was shitting out ice cubes.

The very first programme I ever wrote was a secret diary application(C#) for myself I thought it was really secure because I had my own file extension. Not one of my finer moments.

Have you ever thought "I'll listen to X playlist/album/song, but first I'll figure out this Y project related thing", but ended up working without any music for way longer than expected without even realizing it?

I'm relatively new to the whole development and stuff, so I have no idea how usual process goes.

So when my project moved onto closed beta, I thought I could rest a bit.

NOPE.

Apparently half the shit I've done sucks so much and I need to debug the shit out of it.

Bless the testers.

I'm in a senior level game design course, where me and two others have to create an actual game. I picked my teammates out bc I thought they've already taken classes in the subject(as they are both seniors and I'm a sophomore taking this as a final class for my minor). Turns out, they haven't taken any courses in game design and know nothing about the basics of making a game... FML, good thing they can code I guess lol.😅😓

I fucking love Asynchronous Action creators in Redux.

I little more work upfront makes for a well thought out application and makes things like loading screens stupid simple.

Finding out a colleague that you thought you got on well with thinks you're too big for your boots, the day you've been offered a full-time contract.
Fuck them. I'm gonna work my arse off and show them that my boots fit just fine, thank you very much!

One would have thought YouTube would have figured out I'm not interested in Grammarly by now. Machine learning at its pinnacle.

Anyone else get a Grammarly advert every second video?

My last job I worked with one other dev, she always thought her code was PERFECT and the way she did things PERFECT, she enjoyed pointing out flaws in my code or web sites in our big marketing meeting with out executives. Yeah won't miss her one bit

Just spent 20 minutes figuring out why my .filter() wasn't working. I thought I was going crazy or the universe had shifted around me.

Nope, I was just using class as the variable name.

How's your Monday going?

I'm breaking out our authentication logic to a separate OIDC server. It's technically pretty straightforward, but just the thought of moving all those users and making sure that the communication between the system and the auth server works properly makes me shiver...

When I thought that I was the shit for figuring out that ctrl backspace deleted a word at a time. I was about 10.

This is really awesome ! First time I saw devRant I thought that hardly anyone is checking this out but with every day I see so many new, great rants !

I am a student working on an academic project. I had put up a request for people with experience in JS to help out with the web UI. There is this girl in my class who was very excited to hear that and offered to help.

Turns out that she has developed a couple of Android apps and she thought Java is same as JavaScript.

I tried explaining her and she called me a jerk for not appreciating the help -_-

I am the unit test guy now, please send all of your untested and poorly thought out code my way to be tested

Today I found github student developer pack thing. It was the golden chance to sharpen my git skills at least I thought so.. 2 hours tried to figure out how does "merge" works in gitkraken and now I'm depressed..

Always thought I was inefficient because I double check so many commands in the terminal. Turns out, it's worth doing...

For a second while looking through my notifs I thought someone cheesed the avatar system. Turns out everyone did 🤷🏻‍♂️

Google.
Always thought they were at the forefront of innovation and things like that. Turns out it's the smaller companies that do all their work for them.

Just when I thought Microsoft is going in the right direction with the launch of dark Surface products and dark mode for Windows, they took all my hopes away with their shitty Windows Update thing. Completed download and rebooted to find out that the update has vanished. Great, thanks for wasting my data, Windows. :3

I read the other day here about people not reading the error messages shown by the IDE and thought "there can't be people this dumb..."

Well, today I was helping a friend out with his java project and he was trying to figure out an error for at least 10 min so I told him, read the error message, he goes like nah, that won't help, I kept repeating it till he did it and guess what? The explanation was there and helped him figure out the problem.
His excuse? He didn't have the patience to read the message, it was 2 lines long...

How can you be so stupid to the point where your first thought isn't checking out the damn message the IDE gives you? It's there for a fucking reason.

So burnt out.
The worst sort of burn out is when your excited and you still wanna go but you can't seem to get your body to anymore.
Even on a forced break I seem to be thinking product.
I always thought it was so cool in movies where the coder is working there and sleeping there and eating there and chilling there.
Thanks to covid - I've first hand experienced this.
Oh and uh, I fuckin hate it.
I wanna go out.
I miss my coworking space with all the other idiots around me!
I miss eating out!
I miss going out for a beer!
Oh sweet beer how I miss the sweet breweries where I'd get fleeced for a pint!
Take my moniez! Pliz!
Just someone find a vaccine!
Ffs

My teacher joked in class about trying to get #octothorpe trending. Two days later he's wearing a t-shirt that says it, turns out someone already thought of it and it's on a t-shirt on Amazon with prime shipping lol 2018 is crazy

I gotta let this out. I apologize..

Why the FUUUCK does MySQL not let me log into my FUCNING ROOT USER AND THE OTHER USER I MADE...
I thought i fixed it a few days ago, but apparently not. Now im considering trashing this shitproject for a while.
*insert awesome words that illustrate extreme rage and a broken keyboard*

So was freelancing for a guy and I know him pretty well or so I thought. Turns out he is a corrupt prick who leaked one of his support staffs phone number to all the customers because she wasn't online for two days. What the fuck is wrong with some people.

I just transformed a sorting command that was seven lines long into an ungodly abomination that was about 70 lines.
We don't do these things because they are easy, we do them because we thought they are easy.

I will always remember that phrase and might never find out who came up with it.

I was almost done with my app and I thought of including 1 extra feature I liked ...and BAMMM app crashed!! can't figure out the bug .. 😵😵
Damn my fucking greed 😫😫

this should have been my first rant, but ive never thought about this till now. here goes.

did anyone actually find out about this community by googling problems with profanity? and instead getting some thread from stackoverflow, they got a rant post from this website haha

How to get everyone to return to the office:

Cripple remote access so badly that you can't get anything done due the frequent lags...

Been trying type your an email reply for the last hour but keep lagging out and losing my chain of thought...

Just out of curiosity: Have you ever thought of learning COBOL?

Awesome! //not.. :/
Was checking what the F I was doing wrong, my files didn't show up in changes.. found out someone thought it was a good idea to put *.cs to ignore file.. :/
What are .cs files?! We don't need them anyways.. :/ o.O
Fuck!

Not as a dev, but in college I worked in the student union. For my boss's birthday they lured him out of his office and told me to TP it. So I did. And I went all out. They thought I would only use one roll. I used 5 or 6. All over his lamps, desk, I made streamers, everything. Too bad the dude turned out to be a power hungry dick and fucked things up for everybody.

Having too much creativity is annoying as fuck.
I just laughed out of nowhere in the train. Thought of a funny story I made up.

But maybe my creativity will lead me to something big sometime... Who knows?

So something sparked the thought at work today, so I checked to see if my name was available as a domain. Turns out both .com and .co.za were avalible. So cheap I couldn't resist

Guess my portfolio has a prettier name now

I told a junior developer to write a plugin for WordPress to modify behavior of another plugin, and he wrote a plugin that literally overwrites the other plugin's file. WTF are youngsters thought at university these days? How to be lazy? How to go in dumb and come out dumber?

Hopefully we will leave the path of shipping tons of crappy software in increasingly shorter periods of time and come back to thought out, well engineered software that actually matters. I would love that.

We had late night work... So our seniors thought of going out for drinks and asked us to join!!
We beeing the interns, bill was all on them ;)
Had fun...

Soooo, thought I had the greatest idea in the world - fell sick for 3 days (minor fever NOT covid) and the idea don't feel too hot now
Plus im out of beer and I have to do actual work for a client :(

You crazies do whatever you have to do with your little "plan"... but if you mother fuckers take down my internet I will come out of this fucking basement with the rage of fucking Loki and it won't fucking matter to me what side you thought you were on.

So apparently I found out one of my friends likes to program.
And here I thought he wasn't into this kind of stuff, but he just told me about a programming language called "Clipper"

Learnt a lesson today:

Never try out new hotkeys in a SQL query editor window.

Or if you do, at least make sure it's not connected to anything important :)

I was trying out new hotkeys and accidentally executed a SQL deploy script to rename something in multiple stored procedures in a large system.

Thankfully - so I saw after my heart stopped - it was only our QA db so not too bad, just a couple of devs set back.

Who woulda thought ctrl-l would execute :O

Until about two weeks ago I thought serverless functions looked like this:

api.example.com/Cart.addToCart('product-1234', 1)

Turns out they're just normal API endpoints

So, I thought that I would simply be able help improve MacOS Mojave... I thought wrong. They just yesterday rolled out version 2 of the public meta, but it is absolutely horrible. Most Unstable operating system ever to be made. The windows public betas were a lot better. I can’t even install virtual box...

Just wanted to work on some of the weekend ideas... I thought let's just install vs 2017... While installing I found out that I can't open any other vs... Not to worry, I thought, vs code may save the day...opened vs code... "Hey... There's new update... since it's normally very quick to update vs code lemme just install the update while vs 2017 is getting installed".. BAM!!! ... Vs Code update process got stuck for 20 mins..."Can I cancel the update? ".. BAM AGAIN!!! now vs code won't open.

Just thought of a solution to a problem I'm having with an open source library. Now I can't sleep until I have made a pull request! It's 00:17 and I've just found out my Macbook is dead.

!Rant
Thought it was debian logo... Then I asked me, why the hell would there be a debain logo in my phone.... And why would it be mirrored.... Turns out, it is the hearthstone logo :/

Debain logo would be more exciting