Today was a good day. User asked for a tricky feature. Right after telling him it is done he left this :)

Client: Why is this not working?

Me: Because the feature expect a...

Client: I sure hope you won’t expect your client to want to know all these teach behind this feature, as a client, I just expect it to work.

Me: Ok...

Client: So why isn’t it working now? WHY?

Me: 🤦🏽‍♂️

Client: I need a response!

Me: It is not working because...

Client: Stop telling me logics!! I just want it to work. Why isn’t it working...

Me: It is not working because I fucked up. It will work after I fix it.

Client: Why isn’t it working though... I don’t understand why...

Me: Just let me fix it and it will work...

Client: Why can’t you tell me why... it’s not good communication... (hangs up)

BETA USER: Is this feature working? When I add a link I get an error that says "URL cannot be more than 255 characters."

ME (biting my tongue): Hi ****, Yes it works. The link you're trying to add is too long. Please try a shorter URL.

BETA USER: Oh, it should tell you that!

😳🤪🤬

I don't know why @dfox , @trogus didn't want a username with underscore and I'm sure they must be having some valid reason for it. But how in fuck did this user have the guts to rate the app 1 star simply because it doesn't have a login with fb feature? I mean you can request for a feature but it's dumb of you to rate 1 star because it doesn't have a feature you want. This is true for any app not only devRant.

Source : One of the user reviews of devRant on the play store.

Today, I finally had the opportunity to say to a client: "It is not a bug, it is a feature".

No, seriously, it is a feature.

FOR FUCK SAKE DO PEOPLE THINK BEFORE POSTING!!!

I got a 3 star review on my app and the user said if I implement feature x he will give me 5 stars, what is even more funny is he is requesting it for free!!

I hate this fucked up miserable world -.-

You might know by now that India demonetized old higher value notes and brought in new one. The new ones easily tear off easily and generally feel cheaper and less reliable than pervious ones.

One interesting thing people discovered is that rubbing it with cloth makes the ink transfer to the cloth. Sign of crap printing. Here's government response:
The new currency notes have a security feature called 'intaglio printing'. A genuine currency note can be tested by rubbing it with a cloth; this creates a turbo-electric effect, transferring the ink colour onto the cloth
TL;DR: its not a bug, it's a feature

- Is it a bug or a feature ?
- Yes !

Throughout the day I check Google analytics, I do it so much that I have a habit of typing "anal" and hitting enter into chrome and it auto completes,
I accidentally typed it not realising I still had focus on my company Slack chat window. The delete message feature is disabled 😰.

Fuck any dev who thought playing sounds automatically on a webpage or on a mobile app without user's consent is a good feature. Especially when you don't even include a setting about it.

Yes I'm directly swearing at any devs from Instagram.

When i said i'll deliver a feature by end of the day, they thought it after 5. But what i really mean is 11.59pm

Client's message: "The next feature we're going to implement is blah blah blah."

Me (to my manager): "Lol it can't be done. It's impossible. We're bound by technical limitations. I've done plenty of research on this."

*2 hours later*

Me: "Here, I've built a demo of the feature. We can deploy it in a couple of days."

Product sending an email: Can I confirm feature A is all set for its release on April 30th?

Me: ... what? no that feature is going out with Feature B, that was pushed back to June because of the server issue.

Product: No, the release plan document says April 30th for this.

Me: ... theres 6 copies of this doc now. Someone is after deleting my comments saying "releasing with Feature B". Oh look heres a link to another doc that says this. See Feb14th "Will go out with Feature B". This is because they are touching the same code, we can't separate them now without re-writing it.

*Me to myself*: Ha product are going to hate this, their shitty processes have finally caught up with them.

*next day*

Other manager: So heres my plan for the app release x, y, z.

*Me to myself*: ... his plan? this is my app, I mange this. What the hell is this?

*reads email thread*

*Me to myself*: ... oh so product really didn't like my reply, took me off the thread, sent a response to all the other managers asking for alternatives, CC'ing upper management. The same upper management I had a private conversation with yesterday about how shit our product team are.

*cracks knuckles*

I'm going to enjoy writing this reply.

Well, after lurking in the dark for years, I finally created an account just so I could downvote a certain security related post.
However, I am lacking the necessary ++.
So a "hello, world!" with a sprinkle of rant it is:

Be me:
Show WIP Feature, state that it will be probably done by tomorrow, excluding time for peer review
Be my PM:
"Can we release this today?"

This happend so often that "Can we release this yesterday?" became a common phrase among my coworkers and me if someone is ranting about something broken in their feature. Probably gonna try using it here as well :D

Saturday late night wisdom.

Software developers you need to work on communication skills.
Everytime LinkedIn says need a problem solver. It means a guy who can understand what non technical guy is asking for and translate that to a software or at least come up with a example of why he is wrong. Explain them. They are not dumb fellows for asking that feature. You might think the feature is stupid. Don't assume this. Sit with them. Understand thier user flow, understand the frustration your software is causing them. Then you'll see why are asking for that X feature.

Every feature request made is basically my opportunity of understanding of product. Don't wait for users to tell you requirements. Understand and suggest, implement prototypes and show them, a causal question such as "Hey would you think providing a keyboard shortcut for this submission is great?"

Understand our job is not just to write software.

Our job is to solve thier problems using software knowledge.

Don't you agree ?

Hold on, is it true that when you select something in windows (not sure about macos), go to any other program (and to an input box thingy) and press the middle mouse button, the selected text doesn't get placed there?!

Is that just a Linux (and possibly macos?) feature?!

I couldn't go without it 😍

Step 1: Create and deploy feature. Get feedback: It works fine!

A year passes...

Step 2: Add another small feature that is completely independent from previous feature.

Step 3: Notice that feature #1 is broken.

Why the HELL did it stop working?!? I didn't change anything related to that feature. I can't explain that!

Step 4: Examine bug and find out something unknown about the technology used in feature #1.

Why the HELL did that ever work in the first place?!?

Step 5: Get time to fix it. Don't get time to find out why it worked for a year...

The problem is solved, the mystery remains...

All the ++ counts are showing in binary... If this is an error I vote we keep it as a feature not a bug.

Boss: Have you finished that feature?
Me: Almost there, i'm refactoring some classes...
Boss: What? Refactor? But thisnis a new feature, it does not need refactor! We don't have time for this!
Me: 😵🔫

This is what happen when you care about code quality.

Always the same story:

Marketing: hey I'm gonna do a demo to a customer. They were asking for feature XYZ. That's ready on thr staging server right? Do you think I could use the staging server for the demo?

Devs: well feature XYZ is not 100% done. Basically just feature X is done, and it still has a few bugs. The deadline ain't for another month, since we gotta finish ABC first. I guess you could use the staging, but it has a lot of bugs.

Marketing: perfect!

*after presentation*

Marketing: the staging had so many bugs! Why didn't you tell me?! It was so embarrassing showing it to new customers! Anyway, they loved the new feature. We need it to be ready ASAP.

Devs: What?! That's gonna mess up with our schedule. You know what? Fine, but feature ABC will have to wait another month.

Marketing: Well, it'd be ideal if we could do both...

Devs: Pay for more devs or dor extra hours.

Marketing: Just do XYZ. It's a pity that you'll have to push back ABC but it's fine, XYZ is more important.

(I might ask, if it was so important, why didn't you notice so in the meeting where we had decided that ABC would be prioritized?)

*tons of working hours later*

Devs: There, we finished XYZ.

Marketing: Yay! Wow, this month we'll have two major features done: ABC and XYZ!

Devs: No, ABC is not done yet.

Marketing: What? But the deadline was this week.

Devs: It was, but then you decided to prioritize XYZ and we said we had to push back ABC to get XYZ ready, and you agreed.

Marketing: Did we? Fine. But do it quick.

Marketing and their mood swings.

Let's settle this:
Blockchain is just a dumb database, the feature that makes it amazing is trust-less ness.

Its not meant to make a decentralised uber or a Tic-tac-toe game.

Leverage the advantages of the system and solve real problem.

Hey, remember that one feature that really needed to be in the release and you spend almost a week non stop at the office? Nobody is using it, we're gonna remove it this sprint.

Product manager: build us a recently viewed and bookmark feature!

Younger-Me: But every browser already has a bookmark feature and a recently viewed (history) feature and its much better implemented with much less overhead.

Product manager: I don't care. Give me this feature, you are supposed to do as i say and bow.

Younger-Me: I'll take it as a challenge.

--- two weeks after feature is deployed ---

Product Manager: 😁 See! Many users are using the feature we built *shows me messages from subscribed customers*

Me: 😨 I'll never underestimate user's stupidity again.

One of our internal customers to my team: "We need this new feature to be implemented as soon as possible! It's super urgent!! Work on it asap!! PEOPLE ARE DYING!!"

Us: "Ok, we'll prioritize this feature and deliver it as soon as we can"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

... One month later ...

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Us: "We're done! We implemented everything as promised! Please give us your credentials so that we can whitelist you and you can start using the new service"

Them: "Okay, we will get back to you"

... Two months have passed since then and still not a single word from them. I'm starting to wonder: are they still alive? 🤔

Client : can you add a calling feature to our android app?
Me : Ok.

*** after updating the app ****

Client : what is this **** dialog (calling permission request for android)!
Users are complaining about it and refuse to use the app!!! Don't you know I can get into legal problems with this???
Me :But you just asked for this feature?
Client : I want this feature but remove the dialog.
Me : you can't that's not how google works.
Client : I don't care do something remove the dialog or edit it but keep the feature.
Me : 😑😑😑😑 nvm I'll figure out something.

Ended up with copying the number to the dial screen instead of direct call from the app.

Ticket: Add <feature> to <thing>. It works in <other things> so just copy it over. Easy.

Thing: tangled, over-complicated mess.
Feature: tangled and broken, and winds much too deep to refactor. Gets an almost-right answer by doing lots of things that shouldn't work but somehow manage to.

I write a quick patch that avoids the decent into madness and duplicates the broken behavior in a simple way for consistency and ease of fixing later. I inform my boss of my findings and push the code.

He gets angry and mildly chews me out for it. During the code review, he calls my patch naive, and says the original feature is obviously not broken or convoluted. During the course of proving me wrong, he has trouble following it, and eventually finds out that it really is broken -- and refuses to admit i was right about any of it. I'm still in trouble for taking too long, doing it naively, and not doing it correctly.

He schedules a meeting with product to see if we should do it correctly. He tells product to say no. Product says no. He then tells me to duplicate the broken behavior. ... which I already did.

At this point I'm in trouble for:
1) Taking too long copying a simple feature over.
2) Showing said feature is not simple, but convoluted and broken.
3) Reimplementing the broken feature in a simpler way.
4) Not making my new implementation correct despite it not working anywhere else, and despite how that would be inconsistent.

Did everything right, still in the wrong.

Also, they decided I'm not allowed to fix the original, that it should stay broken, and that I should make sure it's broken here, too.

You just have to admire the sound reasoning and mutual respect on display. Best in class.

"Y’all talk about UX like it’s just another feature. For a user, it literally is the product. Full stop. Everything else is inside baseball." - Startup L. Jackson

Them: "How is that low priority feature request coming along?"
Me: "It's almost done, a bunch of higher priority things delayed me. It should come live sometime tomorrow"
Them: "It better do"
Me: "Oh did I say tomorrow? I meant next week."

Fuck your attitude. You won't die not having your "saves 15" minutes a day feature for a few more days while some people can't work at all before I fix a major bug. You're not even my manager.

Bonus: overheard him talking shit about me working too slow later that day too.

So I remember this QA I had for our thesis and the panelist asked me
"So is it a bug or a feature?
i answered
"Yes"

The best feature in Intellij is the export to Eclipse. I fucking hate Eclipse but we have to submit our assignments as eclipse projects. Eclipse is the worst software i have ever seen. It even crashed in the same Moment as a classmate asked why i hated Eclipse.

Manager: Here's the design for the next feature, we're ready to hand it over to the consultant

FullStackClown: Uh... okay... is it spec'd out with requirements?

Manager: Huh?

FullStackClown: Well, already look at this design and user flow, did you consider what happens when <insert edge case X here>, <insert edge case Y here>, or <insert edge case Z here>? How is the consultant going to know what to put in for business logic if you don't even know or define it yourself?

Manager: Huh?

FullStackClown: Sigh... yeah, I'm too busy right now to be a kindergarten teacher, come back in a few days once you understand how your own feature is supposed to work

Manager: ...

Dev: ...

The code is a freaking mess. Shared behavior, terrible variable/method naming, misleading module naming, dynamic polymorphic spaghetti, whitespace errors, no consistency, confusing even if you understand what the code is doing, ... . It should never have passed code review. It probably wasn't code reviewed.

The comments are sparse and useless. Quality level: // This is bridge.

The documentation does not exist.

Testing steps for QA are missing several steps, including setup, so actually using the feature is bloody challenging. If one thing is wrong, the feature just doesn't show up (and ofc won't tell you why).

The specs for the feature are outdated and cover only 4 of 19+ cases. And are neigh useless for those 4.

The specs for the report I'm fixing don't even check the data on the report; it just checks for one bit of data on each row it creates -- a name -- which is also the same on each row. gg.

The object factories (for specs) are a mess, and often create objects indirectly, or in backwards order with odd post-create overwriting to make things work. Following the factories is a major chore, let alone fixing or extending them.

The new type has practically zero test coverage.

The factory for the new type also only creates one variant -- and does so incorrectly.

And to top it all off: the guy who wrote the feature barely ever responds. If he does, he uses fewer words than my bird knows, then stops responding. I've yet to get a useful answer out of him. (and he apparently communicates just fine, according to my micromanager.)

But "it's just fixing a report; it'll be easy!"
Oh, fuck off.

Action takes place during demo to the stakeholders.
Manager : During the demo we will show a working prototype of new functionality. In this sprint we focused on that feature not on UX. Please do not pay attention to UI and focus on business values
*Dev starts sharing screen*
*1 sec after*
Executive : This is unacceptable. It looks gross, why you don't use default controls.
Manager : We did, this is how they look like, but please do not pay attention to UI, it is not finished
*Dev continue presenting*
*1 sec after*
Executive : I see missing comma in that sentence. It is unacceptable to show features in that state, lets move on to another team.

It was really large feature working as a charm, but they focused entirely on unpolished UI :/

Ticket: “feature [x] doesn’t work”

Me: “I’ll need more details: how do I reach feature [x]? In which of the three projects you assigned me is that?”

Manager: “the design is in the ticket”

Me, in my head: “can you effin listen to what I told you before giving air to your mouth?”
Me, in person: “yeah I just need to know which project this refers to and how to reach it”

Manager: “but you have to open the ticket as a separate page!”

Me: “sure!” *waits 15 min, opens a ticket for more details, assigns it to manager, flags as blocking, flags the other one as blocked*

5 mins later: details are given and I can proudly fox it by remembering the manager they have to login in order to see feature [x]

Later in the workweek:

Manager at 8:00 URGENT FEATURE! MUST BE DELIVERED BY EOD

Me, 10:00 “can jump on it, need authorisation for [a procedure]

Me, 11,12,13,15,16,17:30: pings for an answer

Manager, 17:58 “ah sorry didn’t see, we can do it tomorrow”

Is this the matrix? Am I being stopped from developing cause I am randomly accessing matrix’s code without knowing it? Is this the Truman show? And most importantly: can I please take part to a manager hiring session? I am curious to see how tf you hire such peculiar people.

Our front-end team is pissed at me because they found a feature I pushed last month and claimed they didn't know it existed and how can they help clients if they don't know what's going on with the platform and - I pointed them to the Pivotal story of the feature that they were included in as well as the full changelog announcement I made to the entire team the day I pushed it.

Knowledge is power, especially when it's in writing with a timestamp.

Senior dev says "it is a piece of cake and it can be done in 2 days", when a new feature is suggested and assigned to me.. but when it gets assigned to him : "This is a big feature and there are lot of things that we need to decide, it will take more than 3 weeks".

Client : We need this feature

Team lead : Sure, we will deliver this to you in 3 days.

Meanwhile Teamlead forgets to work on it or assign it to anyone in the team while he was surrounded by many other tasks.

Client on 2nd day morning : What's the progress on that feature?

Teamlead to Client: It's going fine, we will deliver it to you on time.

Meanwhile, Teamlead to a junior developer in the team (on 2nd day afternoon): We have this priority feature where we need to finish it in one day and deliver it tomorrow!

Junior Dev to Teamlead : This is too much of work to complete it in 1 day, it atleast needs 3 days!

Teamlead to Junior dev : I don't care, can't talk, busy, just complete the work and deal with the client, bye.

And the Junior dev continues to struggle where he is unknown of the fact that the task actually was of 3 days but just because the Teamlead forgot to do the task and also to assign the task early, he is in trouble!

It took me around 10 hours, but I finally got a new feature onto my discord-bot. Best thing about it is, that I can basically transfer it onto every meme format

Co-worker: "I made the UI for feature X you asked me for"

Me: "Oh great tha... Why is it on the same screen as feature Y? Those features are unrelated?"

Co-worker: "Yea it was too much effort to create a new screen."

Me: "...?!?"

Those 10 seconds when there is a feature request and you have to answer the question "How much time will it take?" inTheSpot

*based on a true story*

Co-worker: Let's release it
Me: Wait, I want to add just a little feature
Co-worker: Is it necessary?
Me: Trust me

*5 minutes later*

Co-worker: So, have you finished implementing your "little feature"?
Me: Yeah, well, it's done. Maybe.
Co-worker: What the hell have you done?
Me: MAYBE I've added 647 lines of codes to the file to implement my little feature, MAYBE it doesn't works and MAYBE the entire project is compromised
Co-worker: ah

*during project development, we use a library as core of tye app*

Manager: We need to add feature X.
Me: The library developer announced that this feature is not supported.
Manager: why is that?
Me: *giving some tech explanation*
Manager: ok, but still we need it urgently, we told the client we already have it.

Just a simple day on my work

Boss: We should thoroughly test any changes made. Let it run in the test version for a few weeks before we wide release.

Also Boss: I want to add this tiny feature that is low priority because I am the only person that needs it. Wide release it right away.

My boss: "We need this feature by Friday"
Me: "I can make it work, but I need more time to do it properly"
Boss: "Just fix it by Friday, and you can make a proper implementation later, when there is time"

Like there will ever be time once it works...

Fuck all managers who expects us to deliver a completely new feature before the holidays when in reality it would take thrice the time left until everyone is on vacation. Fuck them all with a cactus.

Isn't it lovely when someone wants feature X and Y and one is five minutes (and mostly CSS) and the other one is hundreds of hours of backend code.

"I don't want to know, just make it happen. Jeez how hard can it be, it's just a new button"

It's not a bug if a feature is working how you told me it should work but not how you wanted it to work.

New feature on the Cuntbook. Want to write a post to a page? Poof, and it's gone! BILLION DOLLAR FUCKING FEATURE!!! BILLION DOLLAR FUCKING COMPANY!!!

CERTIFIED MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

Oh and just to load our pages it takes 20 seconds. Because fuck you, this is Web 2.0. FUCK!!!

A month ago. The code for a feature was removed because my boss thought it would not be required. When that was done, a lot of regression testing was done and a lot of code was changed all over the code base. And those changes were merged to main branch along with a bunch of other changes.

But now, he wants me to put that feature back just as the release date is approaching. It's just a humongous waste of time. Now I need to find where all the tentacles of that bloody feature reach and manually put back the code. And the bloody testing needs to be done all over again.

When will I get to stop dealing with these kind of people.

Boss: "i need you to build a feature so that customers can do bla bla bla and it has to be done by friday.

Dev: "Ok i can do it fast if you sure this is what you want, and requirements wont change in the future. Have you considered bla bla"

Boss: "Yes do it"

Dev: *writes, tests and deploys code*

A few weeks later:

Boss: "we need to add bla bla to the feature you built since some requirements has changed."

Just used my first "It's not a bug, it's a feature" explanation 😂. However, the irritating part is, I had to explain it to another person from IT industry (I mean testers) who is from another company.

And it's really a feature and not a bloody bug. Stop reporting it on the bugs list 😥

Tldr; my "this is not bug, its a feature" moment actually turned my bug into a feature.

Today we were presenting a project which has imposible deadline. I am developing this small project alone (which is probably good). I implemented core features first but I know project still have bugs and a lot of tech debts. Another friend started to presenting our demo and a wild bug appeared as expected. He was adding rows to a table. To add a new you gotta open new modal by clicking + button and fill the form. One of the fields had a bug. When you add row by clicking Ok button, the value of the field stayed there after you open modal again. So its basically a state problem in React. I forgot to clear previous state of modal. When they see that and my friend said "oh we got a bug there". Then I enabled my mic and said "thats not a bug, thats a feature. I didn't want to enter that field again and again when I adding multiple rows and made it persistent." and you know what? They liked the idea! They requested to add that bug to two more fields. I was just joking and my "this is not bug, its a feature" moment actually turned my bug into a feature. Instead of fixing it, I'm creating more of this bug. LOL!

aight fresh day, 9am, lets start coding feature A because it is complex and required

*end of the day*

finally done coding feature B,C,D,E,F,G,Z,X,Y,Z,FUCK,SHIT,COCK,PUSSY, CUM, time to commit.

i feel like i forgot something...

Microsoft Teams can burn.

Their latest feature ? Well, turns out that when I get notifications on mobile that I do not get on desktop BECAUSE I AM FUCKING INTERACTING WITH THE CHAT OR CHANNEL THAT SENDS ME MOBILE NOTIFICATION, the notifications do not clear themselves. Oh, no, that would be too smart.

So EACH FUCKING EVENING I sit and browse all the fucking notifications to see if there is anything noteworthy I need to act on, or if it is a dead notification from earlier today.

Dear Lord, Microsoft are fucking experts at TAKE A WORKING FEATURE AND BRAKE IT.

These rare moments when you realize:
"it's not a bug - IT IS a feature!" o_O

All I'm wondering is how did @dfox manage to keep this avatar feature a secret while it was in the works? If I was in the process of coding something so elegant, I'd be telling people left and right! Bravo!

Haha. Yeah threaten to fork my repo and make it more popular than it already is because I won't add a clearly out of scope feature.

I'll wait.

We spent 80% of development time implementing a feature requested by a client. Client for no reason says "the feature is no longer needed take it out ". Am so fucking furious now. Such a waist of time

Before implementing a feature that is one hour of work for one developer, let's have four meetings about it, a user survey, specifications and endless discussions on resources.

Got yelled at because super important feature for a client was two days overdue.
The kicker is that they never even talked to IT about the feature let alone give us a decent spec/assignment.

So I guess my most unrealistic deadline was the day before yesterday...

I can't consider myself as a programmer anymore. All I do at work is debug the shit other people produce. It might have been more than a month since I implemented a feature.

in your opinion, what is the most important feature of a programming language? For me it’s getting paid for using it.

Today teaching the product managers what the channel in "selected for development" in Jira means.

Guess what? IT MEANS THE FEATURE IS READY TO BE DEVELOPED ON, NOT SOME HALF-BAKED CROCK POT IDEA WITH A TWO-SENTENCE DESCRIPTION DESCRIBING ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL!!!

Coming up to (very) tight deadline..

Manager - "Stick in a temporary fix, if the data is mocked out it will do for the demo. We really want to show this feature."
Me - "Okay, I"ll pick up the technical debt after the demo."

*Changes are coded and rolled out*

Manager calls me over to his desk..

Manager - "This feature isn't bringing back real data."

Do these kind of people exist in all companies?

-Is it a bug or feature?
-No.

That moment the sales guys ask if a humongous new feature is doable. And doesn't wait for your answer before adding: "Well so you know, I'll already promised it to the client for last week"

Sleeping the Thread for 1 sec, because the database had no real timestamp and a transaction on the same item within the same second would lead to a doubled primary key...

No real feature, but it is a bug and this makes it a feature I guess.

I think this is both a blessing and a curse for me.

Whenever I'm developing something, I ALWAYS keep coming up with new (good) feature ideas WHILE programming. Now, this isn't as bad because they enrich the software/service mostly but goddamn, it's so fucking annoying when I'm working on a certain function/feature and I change stuff three motherfucking trillion times before finishing it because I keep coming up with fifteen billion new ideas.

In the end it's all worth it but at some moments it gets really fucking annoying.

A bug? Heck no, it is an awesome feature

Is it a feature on devRant, that the order of tags are shuffled when posting?

Probably a lot of you can relate, which is "it is easy to implement such a tiny feature, how could it possibly be difficult" from a PM that has never programmed before...

Spending all weekend on research and testing for a new feature, finding the perfect framework for it, going trough the API just to come Monday to work and get told by Project Lead: we can't use it, it is not in our stack.

How can it be in our stack!? We've never done anything like that before!

* 1 day of requesting the feature, deadline not for a while*

switch{
case 1:

Manager: How's the new feature going?

Me: I've done a bit of the front end. Here's how it will look.

Manager: Oh great it's done! Does it do ABC as the client requested? Does it also do XYZ that I just thought about this second?

Me: eh this is just part of the front end, I haven't even connected it to the backend - I haven't even started the backend.

case 2:
Manager: How's the new feature going?

Me: I've done a bit of the back end.

Manager: ok. Can I look?

Me: we'll it's just code... *shows them the code*

Manager: oh... so it's nothing really. Call me when it is done
}

I always love it when a manager who has no coding background tells me to "just do this" without ever letting me do any research. Just because you see it in you favorite app does not mean that feature is trivial.

Is there's an "edit history" feature in DevRant. Some comments makes no sense after a post is edited.

I'm thinking of posting "Arch Linux and Firefox for the win. Who's with me?"

Then, when I have some comments, I'll switch it to "Windows 8 and IE for the win. Who's with me?"

That could ruin a lot of lives.

Got a mathematics library I develop and maintain. Someone filed a feature request ticket for matrices of matrices. As in, each value of the primary matrix is another matrix. Not understanding why anyone would need such a convoluted concept, I asked for clarification.

Response: "This piece of shit library isn't feature complete without it, now stop being a lazy fag in your mother's basement and actually do something"

Lololololol. Sure thing. Let me go waste two or more weeks of my life developing something i've never seen used in math, without any justification beyond "feature".

Abuse "new" google meet background feature level : 999

- while in meeting take screenshot of one of my team mates
- mirror the screenshot and put is a background
- now pretending that I'm at their place

after half an year of lockdown... It was fun

Client writes a bug report: This and that doesn't work.
Me: This functionality never was implemented. Please open a feature request.
Client: But this is a bug. Without this feature, the service won't work as we expect.
Me: But this wasn't in the requirements for release. So you have to contact the PM for a feature request.
Client: THIS IS A BUG! FIX IT!
Me: GO FUCK YOURSELF! THIS IS A NEW FEATURE AND YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR IT!
Unfortunately, I never sent the mail. But I kept it in the drafts. Maybe someday...

That feeling when a feature is estimated to take 4 hours but, thanks to your well structured code and good use of object oriented programming you implement it in 30 minutes and can spend the rest optimising something else.

// Feature Request START
Is it possible we can have some kind of markdown on posts and comments? Maybe not bold or italic, but because of the target of the app, some kind of one-line and multi-line code blocks that highlight from other text (for example: having a gray background, using a consolas font, etc)
// Feature Request END

Is it a bug or a feature?

Costumer called.
feature xyz doesn't work.

Spent hours trying to find the bug causing the malfunction, couldn't reproduce it on my devices.

Called to the customer to have a look on his device.
Feature xyz works as intended, the only bug: Too less patience at Layer 8.
Device just needs a little moment to establish a connection.

Patience is a virtue.

Writing clean code.
Writing useful comments.
Commit before experimenting.

Just anything to prevent Technical Debt. Just because it works doesn't mean it should be kept as is. Later down the line you'll need to add a new feature and you'll spend 2x more time fixing the things you took for granted.

For fucks sake...
If it is a new feature, out of scope for the next release ...

It is OUT OF SCOPE FOR THE NEXT RELEASE, MKAY?????

Do you think refactoring code adds value?

Pick one:

1. Hard No (Only refactor when there is a dollar value associated with it, i.e new feature depends on it).
2. Somewhat Yes (Futureproof your code, anticipate easiness to build feature requested in future).
3. Yes (Developer happiness, retention and for point 2)

Oh boy IntelliJ IDEA is gonna spoil me bad

This postfix completion feature just blew my mind. I didn't know I wanted this until I found out about it.

I missed a proper IDE for a long time. VSCode is fine but holy shit I forgot how much a good IDE can do for you.

So apparently a report on the Samsung Galaxy S8 will not feature a 3.5mm headphone jack.... Why is this becoming a trend? Who as a consumer is actually pushing for this change? It seems so incredibly backwards, yet a company who had seemed to pride itself in its superiority over Apple products, stoops to their level.

03:00 am
Just coded for 12 hours.

One feature is blocked,
2 are ready for testing
And a third needs some development but actually has no task in the backlog,so that one is in limbo.

To bed
*drops mic

Tomorrow it will all be done.

Hmmm. @dfox, there seems to be a problem. I click on a rant, and it takes me to a collab page. Is that a new feature? :)

Just fixed an error that I seeked for a long time in my optimization algorithm.
Results are much worse now.

Feature it is.

My new favourite commit message:

"All changes as of 18th Sept"

How tremendously useful? There I was looking to know what changes were made to enable a feature / service, thought I could look for that in the commit message, but no you've given me a much more efficient way of finding out.

I simply need to download the contents of your memory, find out what date you made a change, and then dig through the massive commit to find the piece of info I need.

Forget experience using Git features, managing merges, following Git flow, or even any other SCM ... how can people be so tick when it comes to recording what they've done.

Heres a little cheat sheet for those struggling:

- Commit message
Describe what you actually ****ing did. Don't tell me the date or the time, thankfully Git records those. Don't tell me the day of the week, if I need to know I can figure that out, just tell me what ... you ... did.

- Feature branch names
Now this is a tricky one. You might be surprised to know that this isn't in fact suppose to be whatever random adjective or noun popped into your head ... I know, I too was shocked. The purpose of this is to let other people know what new feature is being worked on in this branch.

- Reusing feature branches
Now I know you started it to add some unit tests, and naming it "testing" is sort of ok. But its actually not ok to name it testing when you add 3 unit tests ... then rip out and replace 60% of the business logic. Perhaps it would have been wiser to create a new feature branch, given you are now working on a new feature.

There is this project where the develop branch is "discontinued" because this moron "finished" a feature that is all fucking broken and I could not figure out how to solve all those merge conflicts...

I just gave up and told my stupid boss who just nods and laughs at everything... If it ever comes up I'm gonna tell them to get the fucker to solve it.

colleague: *does 2 months over making a feature and still didn't get it to work*
me: "this is taking too long, we want to get our new version rolling"
me: *gets it working within 2 hours*

Client: it's not a feature it's a bug
Me: comparing with the old system and proofing that it is currently definitely working like it did in the old system
Client: I didn't instruct you to check the old system

Wtf?

Google's new feature is to show you a quick overview of a medical condition and it's so cool, I'm having a little stiffy as a medical IT student 😍

If there is anything I hate in life more than XCode is not organizing work!

A feature done few months ago on mobile, tested, passed QA and now it is not working! Why? Because API got screwed!! Why? Because someone is changing the core of the system without notifying anyone!!

Both API and that feature were not touched in months and suddenly stopped working and guess who is blamed, damn right me and the API dev when non of us even made a change -.-

Client: This feature is already present in one of my other projects, you just need to copy paste it.

Me: Ohh, I will have a look at it :)

What I felt: Nothing in code works with 'just copy paste!! Bitch.

AND YOU ARE THE 100TH PERSON TELLING ME THAT, SO...... YOU HAVE DIE!

Getting a ticket that a feature is having problems when you triple-click it. Otherwise it works fine.

I'm so close to write them simply back: "Then don't fuckin do it?"

Recently at my work everyone got all hyped about blockchain. I've spent years studying it and especially crypto so I like to think I know a lot about it. Now every time some feature is discussed (like tracking video views) someone non tech shouts out "Oh we can use a blockchain!" And I have to spend half an hour convincing them why it's a bad idea in this particular case. Like we don't need to share that data, we don't need to ensure integrity without trust etc. I mean a blockchain is a great piece of tech but please stop trying to apply it everywhere...

It's like people think that the blockchain features at its most simplified level don't work anywhere else. E.g. as if stuff you put into MySQL suddenly changes because data integrity is not a 'feature' in that sense...

Client wants some cool feature -> I spend a week coding it -> shit's cool -> client updates the design -> the feature is gone from the design

I still get paid by the hour but uhhhhhhhh it really makes me feel like my work is pointless.

When a manager asks if you can implement a feature (their are legitimately not sure if it is even possible) and you say yes and they say, "Good, 'cause I already assured the client that we would provide it on the next release"
Like, what the actual fuck...

we had a front-end dev that needs to "re-architecure" his codes when we need to add a small change or a feature.
and im like: wtf is wrong with your code and you need to re-architect it every damn time?!

PS: that dev is no longer with us now. thank god.

You know what a payment feature that is “so secure even the correct user can’t use it” is called?

FUCKING BROKEN. Jesus Christ I hate it when “customer service” people are trying to sound smart.

Me: Hey I just sent the Bi-Weekly invoice.

Client: Can I pay it when this new feature is rolled out?

*Face Palm*

It isn't a Bi-Feature invoice, it's a Bi-Weekly invoice.

Agree or disagree?

My friend said programming for fun is ludicrous... I program for fun...

Actually I was planning to use my comic reader I wrote but ended up spending half the night adding a feature to it....

OMG OMG OMG!!! IT WORKS!!!

So one feature I have in my app is I can subscribe to a Rant. This means that if the OP ever posts a new comment, I will get a Notification in the Updates tab.

Completely forgot about this until today!

sales-managers: How long do you need to implement feature X ?
software-dev: Hmmm, that's nothing we have in our default-packages ... could be nasty, because it won't work without feature Y, which also does not exist in the current version 3 of our system.
I need to investigate this issue.
... 2 days later:
software-dev: This is really a nasty problem - to make X work, we've to reimplement Y for our system version 3, but this won't work with feature Z.
If we do this, it may take several weeks.
sales-manager: we need to go live in 2 months.
software-dev: might work.
------
1 week before go-live:
sales-manager: The customer saw us testing feature X. He does not like it. Could we just do it in ... blabla ... this way?
software-dev: This would work out of the box with feature Z, yes - we've to remove feature Y and X for that. But be warned - this might work next week without testing only.
sales-mamanger: do it now!
day of go live:
The customer tried the new feature X - it won't work.
software-dev: But it's not there, was removed, instead he has to use feature Z.
...
sales-guy comes back: He does not like it.
software-dev: why not? its working!
sales-guy: Yes, but he still wants it to work like feature X as he ordered.
software-dev: according to the specs, its exactly what he ordered. look at that: (showing the general specifications of project, showing feature Z).
...
sales-guy: The customer did not review this new document since last week.... Its still feature X
...
dev: really? why? I sent that version to you the day, he said, he doesn't like feature X, and you said I've to change that just urgently.
sales-guy: Please switch back to the version with X of last week. - could you. please ?
me: This won't work, because the other colleagues already finished their stuff on that currently running system - we'll lose all the optimations we've done to make this and other stuff work.
----- FAIL ------- NEVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT SIGNATURE OF THE CUSTOMER !!!
One week onsite and rescheduled go-live is just so-what expensive.
Today (some weeks later) ... I saw someone else sitting in sales-guys office.

A client asks me to produce a Release note when publishing a new version, which is more than fair ask, I shall deliver.

Then he asks me questions on the version's feature which are clearly described in the release note, with examples, showing he did not bother to read it..............

...

Me: "there's a fatal crash in the build that has gone to testing, this is how we fix it"
Project lead: "they haven't noticed yet, add the feature the boss wants"
Next day, boss:"testing found a fatal crash this morning and couldn't do any testing because of it, how'd it get past you?!"

How fucking difficult is it to first figure out what the hell you want me to build, before assigning me a project?
But noo...make me implement a feature that will do a completely different thing in two weeks, and a completely different thing a week after that...fuck you Jeff

I have a first date tonight, but production is smoldering and about to catch fire, and it was my doing. I get 5 people coming to my desk every minute asking when's it gonna be fixed. my supervisors think I'm enjoying this because It's delaying a feature. I'm not. I feel like crying, and it shows.

When you work for a week day and night to compete a feature, because top management said it's the highest priority. Then when you're about to send it off to test, they tell you it is no longer required.

I am so fucking drunk but still I ended up completing a task which is a feature request.... I have no idea how I did it... But it works in staging... That's what I remember.... Will see tomorrow.... I am also the tester in the hierarchy which starts and ends with me... I don't know whether this qualifies as a rant

When you offer to help out a fellow coworker on the top priority feature he is developing and he just sends you the branch and stops working on it.

Something that I absolutely hate about the IT industry:

When a feature is deployed the chain is like this:

Dev -> Testers -> QA -> Product Manager -> End User

But when things break in production and management wants to yell at the staff... only the devs get the heat and no one else, as if they weren't responsible for anything at all.

Really fucking hate it.

This post is kinda late. For those who haven't read my previous rants, a marketing coworker bragged about a feature that we hadn't yet finished. (I'm thinking that they perhaps did it to put extra pressure on the dev team 🤔.) Of course it backfired pretty bad, because this feature was a plug-in for another service, and even though the dev team was on time with the feature, the other service we were writing a plug-in for took _sooo_ long to approve of our code, and it made this marketing guy look so bad in front of these clients because the feature was a few weeks late.

A part of the new feature was that some of their data would be synced with this service. These customers were so important that we couldn't afford to disappoint them, and the solution was... *drumroll please* ... that this marketing guy would have to manually copy the customer's data from the service into our platform to make the customer think this feature is ready. Row by row. I'm hearing it takes about one hour of their day 🤣

I mean I'm good friends with the guy but... they kinda deserved it

Motherfuckers can't even create a simple login feature.

Lmao this promotion driven faggots are dominating the product thinking they'll commercialise it and earn profits.

Why is this hilarious? Because they are building this product for past 3 years and yet the login feature is not functioning.

An amazing git story: A month ago coworkers did research and started with merge requests. Their workflow is as follows: A Feature is developed in a branch, then a merge request is opened. After a very short review it will be closed (rejected) and merged without request. (wtf!) After that the develop branch will be tested later, in case of bugs, a new branch per feature is opened.

coolest bug our team had was not a actually a bug but a feature that is misused and abused.

tldr: its a feature that became a bug

we have an app that has a "test print" feature to test the printer and the format of the document to be printed. it has the word TEST for fields and all that.
it became a bug when suddenly, the users use that feature to print documents, instead of using the app with the business rules and all, and just manually strike off the TEST words with a pen.
the feature became a bug because it has become a security risk.

When QA keeps on filing bug but you go and check and it's a feature.
No. Seriously IT IS a feature.
Like c'mon! I told you it is a feature. Go and check sys req!
What is wrong with this world? >.<

-See vaguely interesting feature in language (currently C#)
-Look at the docs and psuedocode to get a feel for what the feature is intended for
-Design small project around the feature
-Learn the feature by using it

When the online invoicing software you have used for the last 4 years gets a major upgrade, only to find there's a massive feature cull and the interface is prettier but far less intuitive. Time to look elsewhere :-). Pity, I loved it and got tonnes of people on to it.

So it is Friday and I love that. :) Especially when my project manager assigned me yesterday a feature request to implement that he estimated to take no more than two days, which was right. 👍

So i send my phone to the warranty because of the problema that you can see at the image, and the answer of the company was that it is normal and they don'r repair it.

Can you guys explain me how on the world this is a feature of the display...

PS: the white part you see is a ghost of the previous image

My co-worker had to add some small feature, and while at it, he thought it’s a good idea to “refactor” the entire repo.

Now the code is over-modularized and full of disconnected 100 line files, just for the sake of modularity.

Sometimes less is more

So I just found out that multi-line editing can copy a matrix of letters and paste it on other lines. This is amazing. Imagine being the person who thought of this feature.

Just wasted nearly a day because I got work assigned that has alreay been done half a year ago and nobody knew it.

It's really hard to find a feature to remove, that's already been removed and the truth is only to be found deep within the version control.

FML

I just finished ny first feature at my first dev job - a gallery page connected to an api.

It took 2 weeks. About 2 days of programming, but 12 days of fucking css.

Why is css so bloody hard?

I've been writing tests all week.
I quite like writing tests in some respects, but I absolutely detest it if the thing I'm testing is a moving target! Stop changing your mind! Either we support the feature in it's entirety or we don't support it at all!

Just read a feature request which asked for full-app localization. The dickhead closed the request with the comment: 'since this is a small request it should probably be added to the top of the wishlist, besides you are a dutch company anyway'.

The nerve on some people

every bug is a feature if it is unfixable enough

@dfox
No Loading window on Supporters and About us pages.
Or is it a feature for impatient persons like me??

Last saturday, the CEO forced us to update one of the services that we are dependent out without any tests... The people responsible for it very much advised against it but they still did it.

Now, nearly a week later. The literal core feature is still broken with no fix in sight and rolling back is not possible apparently.

Asked to implement a feature in a mobile app that wasn't actually supported by the backend. Feature had 3 possible values in the backend, only 1 and 2 were properly implemented. Below was the backend teams solution to support the third option.

- If the key is missing in API response A, means the user is not allowed access this feature.
- If the key is present in API response A, and missing from API response B, that means it hasn't been set.
- If both are the same value, user has that value.
- It will never be the case that both return option 3.
- If both are different values, one of them being option 3, display option 3.

this ... monstrosity, is in production to this very day.

I always love getting yelled at by a client about a feature that they “use everyday” and critical to their business is just not working. Go back and look... it appears that it broke a while ago (in this case a couple months).

It’s my fault, but I do start to question other blanket statements they make.

Windows 10 doesn't to let me use my wifi.
*sighs*

No way to solve it.
Is this a new Windows feature?

Blender3D

Probably the most feature rich, frequently updated oss for computer graphics ever.

The project really captures the spirit of open source, most notably with it's open movie projects.

It does have a pretty steep learning curve, but taking the time to lean it is totally worth it. Not to mention comparable Autodesk software will run you thousands of $$$

!Rant

CTO: "We have a project that is the top most priority get it done"
CTO: "We have some tickets logged for another project get them fixed this is of the highest priority"
CTO: "I want a new feature in another project I want this done now It is top priority!"
Next day, Client comes in CTO shows him around
CTO: "You are still working on this!"

... Arg, its as if the guy thinks giving something a top priority gets it done instantly

I always write a Google Doc before I start developing a feature to help me think what and how should I implement it and so I can share it with the team.

It is possibly the most frustrating process of the whole development cycle because Word and Google Docs still manage to make it a fuckin ordeal to insert a simple image without bombing the whole text to hell. How is it that after almost 30 years of history it is still shit to write a document?

Backend : *breaks feature in prod by changing api*

Me: Feature is broken in prod. Please fix. I was told that the API will not deprecate the old use case.

Backend: ... Fixing it in the backend will take time. Add support for it in the frontend.

Me: I'm not done with the new feature just yet. And it will take some time to have it reviewed and fully tested. Please fix the API.

Backend: .... Well, make a new PR and add support for it first. The new feature can come later.

Me. (-_-) Okay

Sometimes it feels like I'm a code janitor rather than a frontend intern

Tell me to work with the most critical feature of the project. So critical if not done right people can die! While working on it I find many poorly written requirements, I notify the leads about this. The whole thing is re-scoped and the feature is completed. I expected to become a senior after this but unfortunately only find out they put the blame on me for poorly written requirements that other people had written which I corrected... fml

This is going to be fun. We are switching our phone system to use Zoom and the turn on date is sometime in October (couple of weeks away). I have a feature I'm working on (automated phone calls) that the salesman said was fully functional (jump through a hoop, stand on your head, turn around three times, type of functional). Tried the steps they gave me, got to #3 and there is no virtual agent API call I can find to hand off/transfer the call. Send our contact at Zoom some questions, responds "That is a feature we might put in a future product. Can't do that right now." WTF?!
Other developers are running into similar "How do we get there from here?" issues that features promised, either don't exist or don't work.

One feature in particular I'm receiving a 403 permission denied error.
K: "Feature X needs to be enabled."
Me: "It is."
<send a screenshot showing the feature enabled>
K: "Your account doesn't have permissions. Have the sysadmin elevate you authentication level."
Me: "I'm an admin"
<send a screenshot showing my admin status>
K: "I'll have to get back with you."

Its been 3 days and no update on my ticket. *sigh*

I dont understand the Log4j vulnerability.

Isnt the ability to execute code a feature they added so that you can add dynamic data to the logs?

If it is a feature then isnt it written in the documentation?

Is the problem that a lot of companies forgot to sanitize the input before logging it?

We write our feature specifications in Gherkin, so it is clear to every member of the team (even nondevs GASP!) exactly what each feature should do.

SO WHY THE FUCK, AFTER BUILDING THE FEATURE, DO I GET REVIEWS FROM THE pRoDuCt MaNaGeRs, SHOWING ME THEY WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR THE FEATURE. YOU WROTE THE FUCKING FEATURE DID YOU HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART MID THOUGHT YOU IDIOT!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M SO SICK OF IT I'M SICK OF WORKING 12 HOURS ON A FRIDAY FOR YOUR STUPID SHIT

While smoke testing in production, I had to delete the sample entity I created to test the released feature, which is not a big deal

Until 20 minutes later, when I realized that I attached a couple of sub entities under it that contained actual live data

Today I heard my first "This is a feature, not a bug" from a enterprise which gives us a SaaS.

They were damn serious, and never in my life I wanted to punch an IT guy so hard in the face more than today

Is it just me or does anyone else hate the "MORE RANTS" feature/option of Devrant.
Can't we simply have a scrolling featuring with never-ending set of Rants the same way as reddit does??
:( :( :(

Work Rant, again.

Working on a project, it has a messages feature.
Currently it supports text messages and images.

The guy before me had to leave, so I was put in charge on this project, to develop it.. all alone...

Project Manager : "Please add PDF support to messages"

Me : "Sure its an easy task".

1 day later:
-Starts working on that feature
-PDF files can now be sent.
-Looks at the sent messages-
-Message is there but I... I cant see the PDF file-

Hmmmm...
Moments later I discover the entire system is non-modular... hard-coded images only support.
Fuck me.

Developed a feature 4 weeks ago with a lot of requirements from PO, even more from QA, wrote beautiful code/tests, was actually happy after deploy since everything worked beautifully.
Sales increased a lot because of this.

Story created in Jira today by mentioned PO: As a PO I want to have that feature removed because it doesn‘t work in IE9. PO decides so I had to do this.

So: What exactly is the best way to hide a body?

!rant && POLL

A lot of people are asking for poll feature. There have been many debates. While reading those, I even thought we should probably ask a debate feature before poll.

Anyway you can actually create poll rant. Just gotta be creative and a bit organized like adults (hope we all are).

1) you ask your poll question as rant
2) you enter your poll choices as comments
3) people ++ their favorite choice comment (s)

Of course this is not a poll-poll feature so there are many lacking functions. But at least it works to certain extent.

Eg Question : What is your OS?

Object Orientation is not a feature, it is an unneeded layer of complexity over a dying paradigm, Imperative Programming

Pm: we need to add a feature to the app, how long will it take you?
Me: what is this "feature"?
Pm: we still polishing the idea, how long will it take you to add a feature to the app?
Me: bitch wtf? Get back to work!!

Today I completed my first user story as a developer, an feature to edit and update comments posted. It passed the test too.

I'm proud of myself about the achieving this given my actually development experience is very minimal :)

More challenges to conquer..

Thanks

Them: Maintaing code quality is a vital part of our team culture!
Me: Really, how important? Can a feature slip to facilitate necessary refactoring?
Them: Well no. We've made a commitment to the client.
Me: So, code quality is not very important then is it...

What is it about clients that provokes them to ask about the same feature every day? No, it’s not fucking done yet, I don’t have a team of devs under me who work overtime to finish it overnight. It’s not going to get done any faster if you keep fucking bothering me about it.

Had junior devs work on a new feature on a project I spent days fixing. They spent days on the new feature but built it off of the broken version of the project and never pulled from the repository. Now when I merged their new feature onto the working and correct branch, their feature is all broken. I swear Im going to kill them all.

The tags disappear from your drafts.
Anyone else experiencing this ?

Also I can't scroll through the tag suggestions.

Is it a bug or a feature ? @dfox
(This still happens even after updating the Android App)

I'm using a Lenovo device with Android M.

Dashlane is the worst password manager to use. I was trying to set up categories and since it does not have a simple selection box change feature I had to grab almost 100 at a time to change. Unfortunately after changing them I realized I had a duplicate and I clicked on that one to delete it. The system was still selecting all 100 (it uses a slightly gray color to show what is selected rather than a clear check box type feature) and it deleted all 100 passwords. It never asked me a question or gave me an undo feature. The interface is very difficult to handle.

Further, to set up a second user and grant them access to a large number of passwords (in this case my wife I wanted to give her access to 128 passwords), you must click them one at a time and then when you set it up they cannot get their own master password. Very cumbersome.

TFW the mock class has way more code than the real one.
Testing big infrastructures can be a pain...
Or maybe my team is just not so good at it.

My time spent:
Adding new feature to the real class 15%
Extending the mock with the same feature 55%
Writing tests 30%

I absolutely love it when C# programmers who never learnt any language outside of their bubble discover C# is not the most feature up-to-date programming language. I am honestly annoyed by people who can read Java syntax but can't read ML syntax (because it is too 'clever' to be used in production). What a bunch of mediocre COBOL programmers!

To you, who use Windows 11. Is there at least one feature that makes you glad you switched from 10 to 11? Or maybe not necessarily glad, but it would make you appreciate the new OS? One thing that would make the upgrade worth it... I myself can not think of a single fucking thing. (Please don't say better HDR support, that's the one most often mentioned feature. Definitely not good enough reason to have a new OS)

when viewing a profile and scrolled down enough to hide the avatar and the user description, it does not show up back again when scrolled up... is it a bug or a feature? 😂 @dfox

Some image viewers on smartphones let the user delete photos and videos by swiping them off the screen vertically. This causes the risk of it happening accidentally. Someone must have thought this is a smart idea.

If a gallery application has this anti-feature, I will immediately stop using it and install a third-party one without swipe-to-delete.

Unexpectedly a feature status changed to disabled:
"It doesnt matter. If nobody noticed, it means that nobody is using it."

After that my point of view is:
Just because you dont use your Car Airbag everyday, it doesnt allow your mechanic to keep it disabled.

Nice little feature from Warp, auto hiding secrets, although this isn't a secret it is just a version number 😅

I suggested we make a feature that has a checkbox that is greyed out and always selected. It would have words describing what the checkbox does. This would inform the user about how the feature works, but won't allow them to change that behavior.

So I am ready and willing to create user hostile software features. I am ready to work for Microsoft.

A pm asked about a feature I was developing and I went on to show them what I got so far. Feature-wise almost finished, but it still needed to be polished and thoroughly tested, as such it wasn't merged yet. Weeks later - I couldn't finish it yet for unrelated reasons - there was great confusion about why the feature is not there as it had been billed to the customer already. So I gotta pull some sunshine out of my ass and bring it to the last release branch..

Currently working on a new feature on some old undocumented part of the code born out of the bastard fork of draw.io -back when it was opensource- and without a doubt the hardest part of it all is using GIMP TO DRAW A FUCKING ICON WHICH IS THE SAME AS AN OLD ICON WITH ONE MORE LETTER ON TOP I WANT TO DISEMBOWEL WHOEVER DESIGNED THIS PIECE OF SOFTWARE

If it does not crash your code, it is a feature

When you use an Android app on daily basis, upgrades every time when you can, then you remove and reinstall it and get a very different UI and feature set. What kind of black magic is this?

Finished writing code for a feature. Begins code analysis. "Analysing code" moments later "Build Failed". Really?! fucking really?! you tell me that now?

Ok granted it is nearly 1AM here I should go to bed. Good night guys!

Can someone relate to it? We have a very simple process:
1. Create a ticket 🎫
2. Specify the requirement 📑
3. Assign the ticket to a developer 👨‍🦰👩‍🦰
4. Optional: make a meeting with the developer and go throw the specification if it is a complex feature 🗓️

Under pressure it looks like this:
Someone tells you to implement the request as fast a possible, no written specification, in best case you get a brief email 📧 also the feature has to be available asap in production and they is only poorly tested...
Or they want to test in production because the data in test system is "missing" ⛔☢️☣️

It is so annoying that is so difficult to stick to such a simple process 😭 it really freaks me out 😒😫

@dfox I reccomend adding on devrant a thing calles hide read or similar feature. When I browse devrant there are times most of my feed is stuff I already saw. I want to be able to filter it. A good app that uses well the feature "Hide Read" is Sync for Reddit. Thx!(　^ω^)

Test A succeeds when run solo. Test A fails when run in conjunction with Test B. Obviously, some kind of messy state that isn't isolated per test.

I realize what it is, so I add a new feature to address it.

Test still fails, it had nothing to do with that.

I finally realize what it was. One liner fix.

Yay for a new (useless?) feature that isn't getting backed out.

"Y’all talk about UX like it’s just another feature. For a user, it literally is the product. Full stop. Everything else is inside baseball." - Startup L. Jackson

Will there be a follow user list feature in the future for devRant? Something similar to Twitter's list feature. I have a few friends who have joined but no easy way to view their rants.

Unless the feature is already there and I can't seem to find it?

trying to add a feature and then finding out that for some reason it overloads everything, so i try to fix it only to find out everything is broken and i can find the source of the problem, so i delete all of the code and start all over again

@dfox
I recently posted a rant containing the tag "$" (php, you know).

But if I search rants with the search pattern "$", the search returns no results.

I guess this has something todo with $ as a special character ;)

Is it a bug or is it a feature? *g*

When you have a bug filed for a feature you created to spec, questions it, and then they state the the bug shouldn't exist as it is "common sense" even though it's not in the spec.

Fuck you Microsoft for adding so many unnecessary fetures that nobody Needs/wants to use and which also slow down my pc.
I am specifically talking About that sily history-feature which is present for a few months now.
Guess what? I don't need it! Why? BECAUSE I DON'T USE EDGE SO THERE IS NO HISTORY TO LOAD. I DON'T USE (NEITHER I WAN'T TO) YOUR SLOW PHOTOS APP TO SEE IT IN THE WINDOWS HISTORY. I DON'TUSE ANY OF YOOUR SILLY INBUILT UWP APPS.
Since the update which added this feature, my pc is like 2 times slower, because it loads the whole last-5 months history.

Hey, thank you for nothing!

That moment when you estimate the time for a task, you finish it with minutes to spare and your manager is surprised that the time left is not enough to rebuild it in a twice as complicated feature 😣😣

Is it a Bug or a Feature?
Why am I seeing all the ++ scores in Binary?

(I Checked, those are up votes in Binary)

Devs are you drunk? Or is it April fools?

EDIT : steps to reproduce
1.open devrant app
2.click on any rant that appears in the feed

This week I delivered a big feature (took me about 2 weeks), QAs tested it yesterday results in about 10 Jira issues. When looking at these 8 was fake issues (QAs forgot to configure some stuffs) and 2 was feature requests. I feel some stress, I'm not sure it's a great success or I should test myself to see if there is really no problem :D

Off late I've been having a lot of debate with my friend about using Flask over Django for prototyping some feature. I side with Flask, since the development time is much lesser than Django and doesn't need to follow a lot of rules.

Issue here is, I prefer flask and he prefers Django.

Need opinion on this sort of problem, where a prototype for a feature in a product has to be built. It maybe integrated into the end product, which is in Django, or may not be.