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Today (as a joke), I asked my class if there were any “professional HTML programmers” who could help me.
Surprisingly a couple people came over with smirks on their face. I thought they were going along with the joke.
Turns out, they were serious. They legitimately believed that they were professional HTML programmers and talked to me in such a condescending way that I was speechless.
“This is called a file. See that part after the dot? That’s what makes it HTML. HTML is an incredibly hard programming language and powers CPUs and the computer that you are using.”
I didn’t know how to respond. Hopefully they were joking.9 -
So this happened today.
Client: hey I sent this ticket, what's the status/have you located the issue?
Me: well, it says it quite obviously in the error message...? (i actually said that, toned down afterwards a little)
Client: where's the error message then?
Me: 5th line....? It's literally there in plain english?
Client: ok so what does it mean?
Me:..............? "marked as spam by the receiving server"?!
Client: yeah ok but what does that mean?
😐
Thing to keep in mind: they're a web dev/email solutions company.
😐😩9 -
So at school the teacher gave us a MONTH to write a sorting algorithm in Java. I asked the teacher if that wasn't a little too much time.
Her answer:" I want to give the weaker people in class a chance."
Okay so far so good.
The day we had to turn in our code I asked around what algorithm others had choosen and if they had any problems with it.
Classmate A: "yeah we didn't know how to program it so we copied it from the internet and I modified it heavily."
Me *raised eyebrows*: "can you show me?"
Me: "but that's exactly the same like the first Google result?!"
A:"No look there , I added this line so that it works with my code"
That lying bitch just added bucketSort(myArr, maxVal);
In the main method.
Me"How is that heavily modifying?"
A:"Also I asked the teacher and she said it was OK to copy the method from the internet"
What the flying cunt is wrong with people. So you give us a month to copy and paste from the internet.
Yeah great teaching.
You are the reason why half the class can't program shit.
Thanks for nothing. 😒😒
First rant hope you enjoyed it.12 -
3:00.
You turn off the PC.
You went to bed to sleep.
You realized you didn't have dinner.
You are hungry.
You are lazy and tired to get up.
You are in dilemma.
You are pretty screwed.13 -
"You mean to tell me that you deleted the class that holds all our labels and spin boxes together?" I said exasperatedly.
~Record scratch.mp3
~Freeze frame.mp4
"You're probably wondering how we got to this stage? Let's wind back a little, shall we?"
~reverseRecordSound.wav
A light tapping was heard at the entrance of my office.
"Oh hey [Boss] how are you doing?" I said politely
"Do you want to talk here, or do you want to talk in my office? I don't have anyone in my office right now, so..."
"Ok, we can go to your office," I said.
We walked momentarily, my eyes following the newly placed carpeting.
Some words were shared, but nothing that seemed mildly important. Just necessary things to say. Platitudes, I supposed you could call them.
We get to his office, it was wider now because of some missing furniture. I quickly grab a seat.
"So tell me what you've been working on," I said politely.
"I just finished up on our [project] that required proper saving and restoring."
"Great! How did you pull it off?" I asked excitedly.
He starts to explain to me what he did, and even opens up the UI to display the changes working correctly.
"That's pretty cool," admiring his work.
"But what's going on here? It looks like you deleted my class." I said, looking at his code.
"Oh, yeah, that. It looked like spaghetti code so I deleted it. It seemed really bulky and unnecessary for what we were doing."
"Wait, hold on," I said wildly surprised that he thought that a class with some simple setters and getters was spaghetti code.
"You mean to tell me that you deleted the class that organizes all our labels and spin boxes together?" I said exasperatedly.
"Yeah! I put everything in a list of lists."
"What, that's not efficient at all!" I exclaimed
"Well, I mean look at what you were doing here," he said, as he displays to me my old code.
"What's confusing about that?" I asked politely, but a little unnerved that he did something like this.
"Well I mean look at this," he said, now showing his "improved" code.
"We don't have that huge block of code (referring to my class) anymore filling up the file." He said almost a little too joyously.
"Ok, hold on," I said to him, waving my hand. "Go back to my code and I can show you how it is working. Here we are getting all the labels and spin boxes into their own objects." I said pointing a little further down in the code. "Down here we are returning the spin boxes we want to work with. Here and here, are setters so we can set maximum and minimum values for the spin box."
"Oh... I guess that's not that complicated. but still, that doesn't seem like really good bookkeeping." He said.
"Well, there are some people that would argue with you on that," I said, thinking about devRant.
He quickly switches back to his code and shows me what he did. "Look, here." He said pointing to his list of lists. "We have our spin boxes and labels all called and accounted for. And further down we can use a for loop to parse through them."
He then drags both our version of the code and shows the differences. I pause him for a moment
"Hold on, you mean you think this" I'm now pointing at my setters "is more spaghetti than this" I'm now pointing at his list of lists.
"I mean yeah, it makes more sense to me to do it this way for the sake of bookkeeping because I don't understand your Object Oriented Programming stuff."
...
After some time of going back and forth on this, he finally said to me.
"It doesn't matter, this is my project."
Honestly, I was a little heart broken, because it may be his project but part of me is still in there. Part of my effort in making it the best it can be is in there.
I'm sorry, but it's just as much my project as it is yours.16 -
Web devs are like autocorrect:
- You're needed but never told you are
- You're great at your job, but everyone complains about your few faults
- You learn more as you work with the client
- You improve little by little every day
- Your buttons are pushed a lot
- You use new technologies when you can8 -
Programmer boyfriend says he misses me, wants to talk to me and wants us to video call.
He codes on camera instead of talking with me. 😂10 -
You are the CSS to my HTML,
You make my life so beautiful.
You are the JavaScript to my code,
You make my life to be so dynamic and full of life.
You are the OS in my life,
Without you, am useless
You are the C: to my brain,
Without you am nothing.
You are the stack overflow to my problems,
I run to you for solutions.
To be continued.....10 -
Hey, Root? How do you test your slow query ticket, again? I didn't bother reading the giant green "Testing notes:" box on the ticket. Yeah, could you explain it while I don't bother to listen and talk over you? Thanks.
And later:
Hey Root. I'm the DBA. Could you explain exactly what you're doing in this ticket, because i can't understand it. What are these new columns? Where is the new query? What are you doing? And why? Oh, the ticket? Yeah, I didn't bother to read it. There was too much text filled with things like implementation details, query optimization findings, overall benchmarking results, the purpose of the new columns, and i just couldn't care enough to read any of that. Yeah, I also don't know how to find the query it's running now. Yep, have complete access to the console and DB and query log. Still can't figure it out.
And later:
Hey Root. We pulled your urgent fix ticket from the release. You know, the one that SysOps and Data and even execs have been demanding? The one you finished three months ago? Yep, the problem is still taking down production every week or so, but we just can't verify that your fix is good enough. Even though the changes are pretty minimal, you've said it's 8x faster, and provided benchmark findings, we just ... don't know how to get the query it's running out of the code. or how check the query logs to find it. So. we just don't know if it's good enough.
Also, we goofed up when deploying and the testing database is gone, so now we can't test it since there are no records. Nevermind that you provided snippets to remedy exactly scenario in the ticket description you wrote three months ago.
And later:
Hey Root: Why did you take so long on this ticket? It has sat for so long now that someone else filed a ticket for it, with investigation findings. You know it's bringing down production, and it's kind of urgent. Maybe you should have prioritized it more, or written up better notes. You really need to communicate better. This is why we can't trust you to get things out.
*twitchy smile*21 -
"Make the feature more useful."
Please write a user story. It's hard to determine what you want.
"As Sales Agent I would like the <feature> to be extended so it's more useful to me."
(ノಥ,_｣ಥ)ノ彡┻━┻3 -
There are 2 types of insulting
Normal: You are stupid
Ultra: You are so stupid you put b and h1 tags inside your title tag. (This one hurts)1 -
Alias coworker = high school classmate
This kid wore a trench coat to school every single day and I guess he had a chronic masturbation problem because the guy was caught 3 different times IN CLASS jerking off.
Most people would catch a sexual harassment / indecent exposure / public masturbation charge, but this kid was breaking all these national math competition records and was working with a local university doing research and had a 4.5+ GPA (in high school in U.S. that's possible) so the school decided to do 2 things.
1. Not punish the kid, and in fact nothing of this was ever put on any record at all.
2. Write him a note from school administrators saying that this student can leave class whenever he would like no questions asked, and that the teacher must notify the office so they could send a security guard in order for this masturbation obsessed student to literally occupy a bathroom as his jerk off chamber uninterrupted.
So if in the past 6-7 years you've been in a high caliber university studying computer science and there was a kid in a trench coat "feeding some geese" near you, you can thank my high school.6 -
In IT-Class:
Random: Ey watcha doin?
Me: Programming. What else?
Random: Oh, you're such a nerd...
Me: Programming is fun! I really like it.
Random: Please don't say this is your hobby...
Me: It is.
Random: Bruuh... *goes away*
Why the fuck are you here, if you're not interested in programming???
I don't understand such people.13 -
The devRant community:
@dfox: Our lord and savior, a rockstar who gets his comments ++'d just for being dfox
@trogus: The designer who lives in the shadow of dfox, but is still beloved
@tisaconundrum: Has 1 ++ for every time someone has tried, and failed, to pronounce his username in their head. (It's a lot)
@letmecode: The most consistently angry rants
@calmyourtities: I see him a lot
@me: I get mentioned every time the google assistant makes the "algo-rhythm" joke
@linux, @linuxxx, and @linuxforfun are linux users.
Continue in the comments!54 -
Had a client who was not satisfied with dropdowns, nor checkboxes. He wanted dropdown checkboxes.
Well, horrible shit but nothing javascript can't do.10 -
He: are you are programmer?
Me:yes.
He:can you hack Instagram and Facebook.
Me:no.
He:then you are not a good programmer.
This happens each and every time.6 -
!rant
My personal wisdom of the day: You know you are getting older if you are too lazy to crack you program licenses and instead buy them legally.2 -
I'm getting so pissed off by this client, here's the gist
We signed agreement defining the following deliverables:
- news page and news article page
- releases page and release info page
(it's a guy from a record label)
After the signature we (me and my colleagues) went to work and finished all that (+ a little more actually, yea I know never overstep your agreement right but we did) and we got paid (all good)
Now after payment he's asking us to do more (some kind of mail installation thing), so I obviously tell him, as I actually have many times before, that our agreement only stretched as far as those 4 deliverables and we wouldn't work without a new agreement defining a new set of requirements or an hourly rate.
Next he goes and tells me the following
==
We already have an agreement. I'm not paying you on an hourly rate as you are not next to me. Let me know
-- First off no we don't, the agreement only covered the 4 pages
== immediatly after
Also you really need to work on your costumer service. Your attitude is very rude. I don't know how many clients you have but all this distrust attitude is not in your favours. Let me know if you want to proceed?
-- Are you fucking kidding me? I am rude and distrustful? I JUST DO MY FUCKING JOB YOU PRICK
Sorry just need to let off some steam14 -
Me yesterday. I dont have my laptop now...
When you are chewing mentos and because you are thirsty, you drink coke.
SPRINKLE ALL OVER MY DESK!4 -
Fucking HR interviews. Fucking "tell me about yourself" and pretending to seem interested in what i have to say while you think about how you did it with a guy behind the dumpster.
For fucks sake, i am a developer, i have spent more time with coding language than human language. I speak more to a rubber duck than to my friends. That's what you want to know about me?
I am here to fix your fucking site that uses flash plugin in 2017 and you want me to tell good things about your company?
Do you want me to tell you the details about your site that i got from whois and that your subscribed domain registration will end in September this year?
You don't know what responsive design is and you dare interview me?
Thanks for wasting my time and telling me shit about your company and how you have offices in germany and china. Well guess what? I dont care. I am busy thinking about some girl... Actually i am thinking about my side project. I dont know why i pretend to be cool?7 -
How I've got my previous job?
Imagine you are in a wild techno club. Dark aisles, A dj from berlin behind the turntables blasting out hard beats, couples kissing on extasy pills.
And there was a friend I've didn't meet in ages. "how do you do?" she asks. "ah... you know i'm on a job hunt for a year i feel misrable". "really? my dad is looking for somebody, send him your resNZNZNZ!" "WHAT? can't hear you!" "Send him your resume!" "Ahhh! okay great!"
So on 24. december 5pm, snow outside, i've sat on wooden table in the kitchen of her father discussing the conditions for the job. It was the start of a crazy time. Dining with millionaires on their Castles. Shaking hands with top businesses leaders. Going to China and having dinner with the 500 richest chinese at once. Wild!
so my advice for you nerds, don't stay in your comfort zone behind the screen on weekends. Vistit a techno club sometimes. You may find a pretty girl/boy with a CEO as a father.14 -
So here I am... thinking to myself how does this kid not know about the shift key?
Me: "Ok we're going to test see if you have sudo access. Please enter your password, now"
Student: ~stares at the black terminal box and begins pressing the caps lock key. The light doesn't display~
Student: "Um... what? Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No"
Continues to click the caps-lock button and waiting for a light to appear on the keyboard. It doesn't. He continues clicking.
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "What???"
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "Um.. I don't understand"
Him: Presses shift button, nothing happens. Goes back to pressing caps lock button.
Me: "Your password has a capital letter in it right?"
Him: "Um... yeah."
Me: "Press the shift button to capitalize your letters."
Him: "I don't understand... Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No... you need to press and hold the shift key to get a capital letter"
Him: "................................ ............................................ . . . . . .. .. .. .. .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . ...................... . . . . . . . Oh..."
Him: "Presses and holds the shift button with his thumb and then presses the Z key."
Me: ~What in the hell are you doing?~ 🤦
Me: "Perfect it looks like you are a part of the sudoers list."
Me: "You can take you computer back."
Me: ~Do you fucking use the caps lock key to capitalize all the first letters in your sentences? Please tell me you don't!~13 -
My first poem for programmer girl 😘😘😘
My life is incomplete without you,
You are semicolon of my life
You are my increment operator,
you make my value increases
I am username and you are my password,
without you No one can access me
You are my initializer,
without you my life would point to nothing (NULL or “0”)
If I were a function you must be my parameter,
Because I will always need you
Can you be my private variable?
I want to be only one who can access you
You are my compiler,
My life wouldn’t start without you
You are my loop condition ,
I keep coming back to you
My love to you is like recursive function,
It will never ends & Will never enter into infinite loop
Forever and Ever10 -
"Imagine everyone is an object. You are an object, you are an object, you are an object." My lecturer said while pointing to random students in the class. Oh how I wanted to quip "So you think girls are just objects?" 😂13
-
I get serious anxiety when someone is doing something on a computer and I know that the way they are doing it is the slowest way possible.8
-
A conversation with my friend:
Me: Sure, I’ll whitelist you. What’s your IP?
Friend: I think it’s localhost.
Me: ...5 -
If your reading this and currently suffering from imposter syndrome then I have some words for you...
You’re fucking awesome! If you get a little better every day then you are the fucking bomb and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
Fuck the doubt because you are only as professional and valuable as you believe you are.5 -
This code isn't working right, better check the log...
ERROR: There was an error.
Alright, cool, chill. Thanks for the top notch error handling. 👌2 -
The award of fastest internet on earth goes to me :D
*note:
its just Ubuntu was not able to update date/time settings during setup cuz I had wifi turned off, turned it back on and ran apt-get update, must have started before the system was able to update its date/time settings, so ya I did not photshop :)
11 -
Oh, we don't know why it broke. I know you just did A HUGE FUCKING DATABASE SEVER UPGRADE to the server we're connected to, but no one understands this code, so can't update it to work. Can you roll back 3 VERSIONS so our application that hasn't had a code change in 11 years is optimized?2
-
Current project has a ridiculously high amount of formal requirements
Two of them literally are
• the system shall have an “off” state
• the system shall be in the “off” state if no power is supplied
Boy do I have just the solution for you!
24 -
I guess scriptkiddies get offended too soon. Thanks for the hate.
P.S. : I'm not stopping to downvote improper questions on SO
20 -
You are lonely because ->
You don't have a partner because ->
You are a nocturnal person because ->
Night might be the best time for development because ->
You are too much obsessed with programming because ->
You are lonely because ->
...8 -
There was once this customer, which wanted a project done. It was for around 2/3 weeks of work. The arranged cost was 500€, but when I said how long I'll need, he said:
No. I need it done in 5 days. Every day over, I deduct 50€ from the payment.
I was out of the building in less than a minute.
Fuck this type of customers.10 -
Uh, I gotta do Task #1337. It better is a good one!
*reads the title*
"Write technical documentation for... "
... D'oh! -
Him: I am a software engineer.
Me: That is great, do you use specific technology?
Him: Multiple, but my basic is YouTube.
Me: Sorry, I didn't get it? You mean YouTube API?
Him: No need, I have a channel on YouTube... And podcast a lot about software engineering.
Me: So you don't write code anymore?
Him: I didn't, engineering is more than writing codes.
Me: Yes it is....13 -
-Friend of mine telling me this nugget-
At my previous job, we were porting a UNIX system to Windows NT using Microsoft VC++. A colleague of mine, that was in the process of porting his portion of the code, came to me, looking really upset.
Colleague: "Hey! I hate these Microsoft guys! What a rotten compiler! It only accepts 16,384 local variables in a function!"1 -
She: I hate you.
He: I don't care.
She: You are stupid.
He: I don't care.
She: You are ugly.
He: I don't care.
She: Linux is shit.
He: You are f**king dead b*tch.20 -
PM says you are spending too much time testing. Fast forward to a production bug and they are standing behind you while you are frantically coding saying "this should have been tested more".7
-
Well... My MacBook is officially drunk 😂😂😂
Was testing a code that I made 😅 it actually didn't use more than 8 GB memory lol
7 -
“Written in pure React”
What’s impure react then? React with angular? Or with jquery?
For fuck's sake11 -
GENDER DISCRIMINATION! -_-
If you are a GIRL, there's a HIGH chance for you to win the Hackathon. If you are a BOY, well... :|19 -
*phone rings*
Me: "Hello".
Caller: "Hi, I'm just going to patch you in to this conference call."
Fucking hell.3 -
I've just seen a WordPress inside another WordPress.
- Why was it made like this?
- If it works, you should not touch it.
- Ok. :/8 -
Oauth2 examples.
Seriously all examples I found use library that use library that use library to just build url encoded parameters like this
client_secret=foo&code=bar
Got me 5 hours to dig going trough couple of github repos with implementation to see that shit at the end.
Seriously people !!!
Start thinking before you write single line.
I don’t want to download 10 dependencies and 100MB+ just to send 2 requests with url encoded parameters.
It’s in every - literally every language.
I know you’re stupid but please just try to understand how things work instead of copy paste another stackoverflow and medium snippet.4 -
The millisecond after the ENTER you realise you are pushing directly to master. Now you are trying to abort (just did it)
2 -
BOSS/SUPPORT/CLIENT: IT’S URGENT!!!! IT’S URGENT!!!!
Me: if it was really urgent why are you asking me about it at 5’oclock on FRIDAY2 -
So I signed up for my first hackathon two weeks ago, which is today.
AND YESTERDAY I GET AN EMAIL WHERE THEY'RE LIKE "sorry but there are too many people who signed up so we couldn't sign you up"
WTF
ITS NOT LIKE YOU KNEW THIS TWO WEEKS AGO WHEN THE INSCRIPTION FORM WAS STILL ONLINE (it still is...)
OR MAYBE UPDATE THE FUCKING DESCRIPTION TO TELL THE PEOPLE WHO SIGN UP AND ARE REALLY EXCITED RIGHT AWAY YOU'RE FULL!!!!
FUUCK12 -
Continuation of https://devrant.com/rants/642962/...
You are the decryption key to my encryption,
No one can access my heart except you.
You are the loop in my life,
I always keep coming back to you.
You are my nodemon,
You are always watching over me.
You are the / to everything I do,
Am nothing without you and I will always preserve you.
You are my increment operator,
You add value to my life.
To be continued 😉3 -
Not commenting enough, using if instead of switch, messing (and breaking) the IDE, not reading pop up messages, thinking and not doing, watching Netflix, starting on new projects before finishing old ones, complaining about certain languages, googling instead of figuring it for myself (sometimes), let my friends persuade me into making something for them, run-on sentences, not enough comments, giving up quickly, not doing adequate research, and of course, not writing down good ideas I have.
9 -
"I'm not complaining, I'm just pointing it out"
Yes, and I'm going to point out that you're throwing insults around like a maniac, which makes your "opinion" seem emptier and emptier, until it resembles your cerebral matter as if it was a shadow copy of it. Fuck you.1 -
For those of your who have been following me, I would like to announce that I have received a perfect score for my bachelor thesis (OnDeviceAI, ie. Training neural networks in mobile phones.4
-
asked the team to give us their API docs, they gave us the whole fuckin source code. in a zip file...
im outa here!! 😕3 -
Here's a real tip for people new to the industry.
It's one of those things that's been said over and over again but very few can really seem to employ. I suggest you learn it /well/.
You are not your code. Criticisms of your code, ideas, or your thought processes, is not a criticism of YOU. You absolutely cannot take criticisms of your work personally.
We are engineers. We strive to seek the best solution at all times.
If someone has found a problem with your code or with an idea or whatnot, it is coming from a place of "this is not the best solution", NOT "you're an idiot".
It's coming from a place of "I'm closing this PR because it is not a change I feel suits this project", NOT "I'm closing this PR because it's coming from a woman".
It's coming from a place of "This feature request is ridiculous/this bug is not actually a bug", NOT "you're a fucking idiot, fuck you".
It's coming from a place of "I've already had to address this in a number of issues before and it's eaten up a considerable amount of my time already", NOT "I don't even know you and this I don't have time for a nobody".
You do not get to be bitchy to maintainers because they denied your request. It's not a reflection of you at all. But if you're arguing with someone who has maintained a piece of code for almost a decade, and they're telling you something authoritative, believe them. They're probably smarter than you on this subject. They've probably thought about it more. They've probably seen their code used in many different places. They have more experience than you with that codebase in almost all cases.
Believe me, if we cared about who was behind all of the issues, pull requests, etc. we get, we'd get NOTHING done. Stop taking shit personally. It's a skill, not a defense mechanism. Nobody has the time to sugar coat every little thing.
Let's normalize directness and stop wasting time during technical discussions into opportunities for ego-stroking and circle-jerking and back-patting.8 -
I know we might think we need drugs to accomplish something. Like coffee to get work done or alcohol to socialize better. But honestly, you are better when you are sober - because you are perfect just the way you are :)9
-
How many times, like a broken record, do I have to tell the managment team that the "what's new" text is 500 characters max for the google play store? How many times? Surely it's more than 5 times, since I've already told them 5 times! I'll report back in when it's 10 times, although by then I may have bashed my head against the wall so many times that I'll be dead, and finally freed from these clowns.6
-
A recruiter asks: "Why are you looking to leave your company ?"
If you tell them you want to grow, they think you have a hidden political agenda.
If you tell them that your boss is unfair, they will think you have problems with authority.
If you tell them that you are not satisfied with the current salary, they will think you are greedy.
If you tell them that you do not get along with someone, they will think you are hard to work with.
If you say you want to be closer to home to spend time with your family, they will think you are lazy.
If you tell them that you are looking for bigger challenges, they will think you are not honest.
If you tell them that you want to acquire new skills, they will think you will quit them when you are done acquiring.
If you tell them they are the ones who initiated the contact with you, and got you interested, they will think you are a
smart-ass.
The truth is - all the reasons above are valid, and those are the real reasons why good people quit.
Which makes this question stupid - makes people uncomfortable..12 -
What the fuck??!?!?
I wanna say :-
Fuck!!! What the fuck a sex robot is?!?? Fuck???
Lets leave this planet here humans are thinking to make a sex robot(fuck! ) who can say no fuck?!?!?! Later they will file rape case for humans who tried to force their robot. FUCKING FUCK BRAINS?!?!?
Full answer: -
A lot of ethicists and psychologists think that yes, they should learn to say no. Here is an interesting article about it:
Should We Program Sex Robots to Give Consent?
I agree with Kate Darling, Ph.D., a research specialist and robot-human interaction expert at MIT Media Lab, told Inverse in a discussion about Westworld, when she says she isn’t concerned about the robots, but with human behavior.
However, when I’ve expressed these feelings on Quora, about this controversy I was downvoted and my answer collapsed because people got offended that I made the claim that an object (the robot) could be ‘raped,’ even after I clarified exactly what I meant by that- that no you cannot rape an object, but just as an object cannot consent, you may be enacting ‘rape’ or torture fantasies, etc., on the robot. I think I was downvoted because my point of view wasn’t exactly what they wanted to hear, was too blunt, and the people who downvote opinions that may look more negatively at the sex robot industry typically aren’t feminists in the slight.
It seems a lot of people want the right to use sex robots and also that a lot of people haven’t really thought about it too deeply. Some people say that the robots will relieve women from sex work or protect people from sexual assault, I think these are very bold claims. Some people compare the sex robots to vibrators or other masturbation tools, but this is simply not accurate because sex robots are designed to be much more. They are marketed as companions that do not cry, nag, etc. People that own them often may dress them, tie them up, have marriage ceremonies, etc., a lot more activities than they would if it was a simple masturbation tool.
5 -
My top reasons for you to not become a dev are:
- You don't like stress
- You like to overengineer but you want to "take your time"
- You hate bug-detective work
- You are impatient
- You want to overcome your virginity
- You are an overly social person6 -
Am I doing something wrong here? Or those imports are so damn annoying?
Any solution for reducing those imports? especially that I am using them all and not have non-used imports
Just like Java, too much imports -.-
7 -
Not a rant. Just some motivation for lazy fucks :)
Everything is binary. You do it or you don't. So tell me Elliot are you a 1 or are you a 0 !!
-Mr. Robot5 -
Because nothing says "security" like some good ol' Base64 encoding. Bet whoever wrote that code was wearing mirror shades.1
-
It feels like you are talking to yourself while commits when you create a github repo and you are the only contributor. :p2
-
When project managers copy and paste clients' vague requests word for word with no further explanation
2 -
Ugh first week in Google Udacity scholarship and they all just directly want to start a start up 🙄😮😒
Yeah best of luck with that shit with your amazing html skills...2 -
Wait a minute... something doesn't feel right around here, There's a certain someone missing from my devRant life again.
Enjoy your social leave.17 -
If your parents are Software Engineers, and you still want to be a Software Engineer. Chances are you are adopted.
-
The role of a Product Manager is just a decade or two old. Most organisations, including FAANG, are still figuring out what are the primary responsibilities of a PM.
A vast majority I know, including my dumbass, is struggling to keep things floating while in the role. Learning on the job is one of the only and most effective way to do so.
No wonder, imposter syndrome is so common in this group.
One of the main tasks is to make decisions. Important and impactful ones. The role came into existence to take the decision making load off our engineering friends while building any product.
This shit comes with huge responsibility.
BUT, not everyone understand this. In India, being a developer was a cool thing until 2018 and so everyone rushed into the role. Now somehow everyone started thinking being a Product Manager is cool because all you have to do is sit and shoot orders and things will happen magically.
I get reached out by so many folks every month asking for guidance and when I ask them what a PM does or why they want to be a PM, the narrative is more or less same.
Very few actually understand how taxing the role is or the challenges that we face while performing the job.
WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE SO IGNORANT AND DUMB?
And in another news, my first week at new job was super amazing. Loved every bit of it. People are smart, processes are neat, things are structured, and lots and lots to learn for me.
How are you guys doing? Been a while that we spoke.
Official declaration: I am the dumbest person I know.10 -
"Make a 3D cube using the skew and size functions in Microsoft Paint on Microsoft Windows 7"
I shit you not, this is a genuine task you can allot in the school-leaving exams(maturita) at my school.
A 3D FUCKING CUBE! IN MOTHERFUCKING MS PAINT!
I mean it would be a kind of an easy task if MS Paint did the math correctly but for some fucking reason when you skew something in MS Paint it also magically shrinks! It is not MS Paint, it's M$ Pain.11 -
Saw this in a previous developer's code which is currently in production.
public bool reset;
public bool Reset
{
get{ return reset; }
}
This was done for most if not all the properties.3 -
There are two types of eXtensible people
<UserInfo type="address">101 Terrace Road</UserInfo>
And
<Address>101 Terrace Road</Address>2 -
You know what sucks? Being forced by your teacher to use his crappy e-learning platform which isn't even close to final and therefore completely buggy. Oh you clicked in that compiler window? Nah now you can't click back in the editor window, better save and reload the page again. And thats only the beginning...5
-
Watching someone screw up their own website...
The one you did for them for free because you're good friends...
Who then kicks you to the curb and "unfriends" you IRL over some stupid misunderstanding...
Well, it's time to pop some popcorn, kick back, and watch that dumpster fire from afar. https://gph.is/2p6q53C6 -
Another day, another shitty set of JIRA tickets.
In this week's edition, we run into an issue you'd think is a meme, something you couldn't even make up: three tickets with IDENTICAL titles, but miraculously, they actually refer to three DIFFERENT tasks! (Also comical, they're not bugs, they're tasks, but mouth breathers don't really know the difference, and at this point I just don't have the energy to attempt to explain what could be explained to elementary school children.)
I present a rare look into our national archives!
This document features two exhibits:
Exhibit A: product owner's original ticket titles
Exhibit B: translated-into-competency-because-i'm-not-mentally-deficient ticket titles
Just more proof that 'product owners' don't own shit, the devs are the real ones who actually know what is going on.
I mean just LOOK at Exhibit A's titles. As a big smart manager, do you write those tickets, smile, and say to yourself "Ah, yep, that's very clear, I'll definitely remember what each of these mean literally 5 seconds from now!"
Is asking for literally 30 seconds more of thought too much to ask for? Apparently.
Just kill me
Happy friday ☠️
7 -
I didnt thought I have to write this down, but you people dont get standard business logic, so here advice from someone who knows that shit:
- If you wanna get paid, make your own contract and let a lawyer look over it.
- always have a lawyer on retainer and enough money for him/her.
- nothing is real without a signature.
- your clients should know that you're gonna sue them if they don't pay.
- don't go easy on anyone, here an easy way to decide if you should sue:
Didnt pay? Sue.
Breaks contract? Sue
Asks for later payment? Dont
- always code in a killswitch, trust me you're gonna need it.8 -
Me: We have a new research project for you. We need you to test these 2 new services, see how they will fit into the new application, look at alternatives if necessary etc. At the end we need you to write a report with your findings, showing how you would integrate them to achieve X, Y and Z, and how much it would cost each month.
Dev: sounds good, I'll come back to you when I have it.
*2 and a half weeks later*
Document paragraph 1: The new language translation service doesn't support the languages we need.
Document paragraph 2: Here's my proposal for integrating the new language translation service.
*review*
Me: So I had a look at the doc and it says it doesn't support the languages.
Dev: yeah unfortunately not.
Me: Ok, so when you discovered that, why didn't you look for an alternative? Or come back to me and say it's not going to work.
Dev: I dunno, I thought you'd want to see the rest of the research first.
Me: ... not if we know for 100% undeniable fact that it will never function.
Dev: Ah ok, I didn't think of that. I'll do that next time, don't worry.
... aw how sweet, he thinks there will be a next time. Poor guy.2 -
Point out everyone else's bullshit. Some people will tell you you are mean or you lack soft skills or that they can no longer work with you and you should go to see a therapist, but oh well, you are an engineer not their mom. You are just being rational.5
-
*some* devs with their multiple monitors are like my 3 flatmates with their multiple shower products.
6 -
Client: “I’m trying to register on behalf of someone else but it’s saying my email address is already in use!”
Me [internally]: “Wait, you seriously thought you could register multiple accounts with the same email?”3 -
If you plan on using Apache Kafka for whatever:
Don't do it. You are on the gates of hell.
If you are using Apache Kafka:
I feel sorry for you.
If you decided not to use Apache Kafka:
You chose wisely.12 -
Ok, I am actually losing my mind at this bad excuse of a work place.
This guy, that I had only briefly talked to in email twice before, never met or even had a video chat, opened a ticket like this:
"Hi Alt-Tab,
I hope you enjoyed the end of last week, the weekend, and the beginning of this one! All well here. I ventured to [random place in London] for the first time on Saturday – liked it."
Now. I already can't fucking stand when colleagues that are not at all close start emails with "how was your weekend?" shit because then I have to waste another minute addressing that. But this guy took it to such another level that I literally had to read his email 3 times to believe what I just witnessed.
And of course he then went on and described the issue as folows:
"Just a quick note about the issue I have - could you let me know why the calendars are not syncing?"
Maybe if you fucking spent half of the energy of you writing a polite bullshit "hello" and instead used that to actually describe the issue I could help.
Fuck off.22 -
Stopping a heavily used script in production, because management wanted a print statement to include a period at the end.
-
maybe Step 2 didn't make it.
maybe it decided to leave and disappear.
or maybe, it was destroyed by an underpaid, overworked dev who holds grudges against Step 2.
Wherever you are, I'd miss the step that I didn't have to take to make the plugin works.
-
One of main reason why I use Google as a search engine.
Me: Heads - Then I'll not use it.
Me: Okay google, toss a coin
GA: Sure,.... it's a tails.
Well.... fuck.3 -
How are you? I have burning open position, are you interested?
Are you open to the position?
Are you open?
ARE YOU OPEN?
Well how would I know? You didn't tell me literally anything. Why won't they start with tech stack and salary range instead of 20 "how are you messages". Why is it so hard? Why are recruiters so hopeless, I'm never gonna get this how and why this garbage ineffective way of working is tolerated by companies.1 -
You know you are stepping up when your problems are issues on GitHub rather than questions on StackOverflow.1
-
Taking charge of an existing project...
Me: "This certificate requires a password. Can you send it to me"
Other dev who was earlier responsible for the project : "Just use the default one"
Me: " And what's that?"
Other dev: "CHANGEIT"! All caps
Me: 😐 -
Today in programming class.
FizzBuzz on a sheet of paper. I mean, of course I aced the one thing I do in every language I learn. :)
Our teacher then proceeded to talk about the fact that some people, even having studied Computer Science, were unable to make a FizzBuzz program.
w h a t ?11 -
Just remembered an old dad story:
Around 30 years ago I started a game on my Commodore 64, I was about 15 at the time, and back then you had to load the games from cassette tapes.
So I started the cassette player and waited for the game to load, and when it was done I stopped the tape. My dad saw this and he asked :
- "Why did you stop the tape if you want to play the game?"
And I guess it is kind of natural for someone who used cassette tapes for listening to music, to say that :-) Still I laughed at my dad...3 -
A form for an order checkout has a fucking stupid select box for comments... Options like "knock loudly" or "Ring doorbell"... 🤔
My wife had no way to put in a comment to say it needed to go to level 2! So I took over, inspected the element to make sure it wasn't using ID values for these stupid values, then replaced it with a text area with the same control ID, name and class.
Problem solved, felt like such a ninja 😉5 -
I thought I just lost everything on my computer because somehow automatic update from win made my ram run at 1300mhz instead of 1600mhz and it assumed there was a hardware problem and completely froze up every time it started. Luckily I decided to comb through bios first and Bam! Ram at wrong speed! I changed the setting and windows booted happily. Piece of shit update system. 😑5
-
For all the Java jokes I see here and people bashing the language, are there any Java devs here? If you are a Java dev, do you enjoy it?10
-
When a bunch of unit tests start failing locally because the AWS secret key got rotated.
oh wait...
THOSE AREN’T UNIT TESTS!!!
Unit tests do not depend on any external system, that includes AWS...
AAARRGHHHHH1 -
Not all computer programmers are NERDS people just assume you are a nerd once you tell them you write code6
-
I just created a users table and added everything except two important fields:
1. FirstName
2. LastName
I only found out when I started working on my service T_T
I'm sorry, I have sinned :(3 -
If someone is paying you to write software you can be a software developer. If you are in school or learning on your own, then you are just a software developer in training. If you have been writing software for years and are starting to hate writing software, then you need therapy. BUT YOU WILL FOREVER BE A SOFTWARE DEVELOPER! ;-)
3 -
Despite the "blue screen" name, Windows fatal error screens sometimes can be also displayed with other background colours; in Windows 9x, the colour of the message could be even customised by the user.1
-
Job offer be like:
"You will be working from home with mostly flexible hours although you will need to attend the team meeting which is at approximately 8:30am GMT and to work for 3 hours after this time for team collaboration" -
So I am managing some legacy code and I found quite the gem last week.
The code went something like this :
IF(methodA()&&methodB())
However, methodB returned ! methodA...2 -
"Here's the sprint, it's well defined. fullstackchris, can you do this in two weeks?"
"Hmmm... nice work, looks well defined. It'll be tough, but sure, I can do it two weeks!"
Two days before sprint ends:
"Can we quickly duplicate n number of features from apps with literal armies of devs like whatsapp, airbnb, and Instagram?!?!?! We NEED these features to be polished and work perfectly!"
Scope creep will be my ONLY feedback in this retro.2 -
That moment when you are stuck trying to figure out what you are actually good at and you come up with nothing.7
-
Deployment to production last night, and the whole thing is halted because the DBA didn't find it necessary to show up. 2 hours of calling everyone possible and nothing. Thanks DBA, for your prompt and timely handling of the deployment... 😑
-
The last time jeeper posted at all was seven days ago. He said he was sick in his last comment.
I'm pretty sure hes dead jim.
Should we start planning the funeral?34 -
That moment when you are about to pass out because you are so hungry, but you want to finish this module before you leave your PC.1
-
"Please move the logo left. The text goes a bit under."
Do you guys think people realize how unclear they are, and are just too fucking lazy to write the full spec? Or are they just so fucking stupid they don't realize I literally have no fucking clue what to do exactly with comments like these?
I guess Hanlon's razor applies here, but some days I just don't know...
Happy Friday! ☠️3 -
Newb rant: So you're telling me that I could've been accessing the freaking terminal right inside of Android Studio!?!? Thanks Udacity for once again stringing me on for freaking ever alt tabbing back and forth from Android Studio to the Terminal!!4
-
Today started off like a normal day and then i got a call from my aunt and she asked if i could set up her new iPhone 8 plus. and once i got there i did and it was no biggie. and then she pulls out four more boxes and has me set all of them up for family members.
WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IM TECH SUPPORT. it’s just so fucking annoying.4 -
If people would change their name in real life like here on devRant I would be maximally irritated!!1
-
P.M (calm) : You are not taking ownership of your works as others. You are only just doing it .
Me (concentrating face) : Inside -> I am fucking underpaid for a long and a month delay in salary. What the fuck are you expecting . You are saying this when you are about to give me a rise ?5 -
When you're programming teacher manages to make the lessons so boring and long winded that every student with the slightest interest in programming loses it 😰3
-
imagine, you are Stack overflow. You are down. How should you now solve your issues, when you cannot search Stack overflow? *mind blowing* *World exploding*
3 -
fuck you rant
fuck you fake developer
fuck you colleague
throw your laptop out of the window, you are fucking useless
you are still fucking going your own fucking way you fucking piece of shit
fuck you9 -
"Changing your country or region will cancel any automatically renewing subscriptions."
This from a company that makes more per hour than any of us will make in our entire lifetime.
Welcome to the ultimate 🤡🌎 . You are in my domain now.
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡9 -
UI bug is found to only occur in Firefox.
Director sends mass email telling dev & qa to only test using IE11. -
WTH. My TV, with a plugged in chromecast, just turned itself on and played music that definetely was not mine.
First thought was, that someone got into my network and was jerking around. A little later I figured out, that my mom started the playlist on her phone and somehow it triggered my cast und turned the TV on.
Seriously WTF4 -
Yo, where's @g-m-f at ?
Haven't heard from him in last few months, his puns were sharper than a toothpick and shorter than a 3 minute jack-off7 -
I'm actually excited for this school year, since now I'm taking my programming class. (I'm taking HTML, CSS and JavaScript)7
-
Let me introduce you to sys. admin + network admin + teacher at our school... She gave us "materials" to study for our school-leaving exams (called matura here - wiki that shit) so I looked at it and just had to comment everything that's wrong (and that's only the first paragraph)...
Apart from making utterly useless documents she also likes to think she is the best in the world and what she says is right and everyone is wrong. Networks that she builds crash 8 times a month, she can't install proper drivers and believes that open source and GNU/Linux is evil. (She also lives by herself, is around 48 years old, is a lesbian(not that it is a bad thing - just for context) and got one brilliant teacher who actually knew what she was saying and doing fired because she broke up with her)
Thinking about it - no wonder my classmates are all so confused and stressed... she can't teach and says bullshit like printers work with the RGB color space and when confronted she would shout that there are no printers that use CMYK, she has never seen one so they do not exist. (only to proceed changing CMYK ink cartridges in the printer)... I mean it's good for me because I get to teach pretty girls programming and informatics but I am sorry for the boys... Unfortunately I don't have the patience to teach someone programming and informatics unless they are a girl and I see a chance to evaluate that person's qualities to be a girlfriend.
7 -
Dear Managers; we do not appreciate how comfortable you are behind a facade of ignorance. Your inaction is directly responsible for the failures of your team; both technical and cultural. You are why we are unhappy, you are why we stop growing, you are why we do not care, you are why we do not innovate; and most important of all, you are why we leave.
-
After using Devrant for some time.
me: (closes devrant)"lets do something else."
Swipes through the app menu and opens devrant again. 😑 -
If you are writing all your code from scratch, you are probably an amateur.
If you are copying and pasting most of your code, you are probably a beginner. -
Argh.
I am backend web dev, which has nice software developer role, with later going to dive into devops a bit more.
And yet some people don't understand when they are told No!
I will not accept being hired for short terms job of sysadmin.
To make it worse it is offered by my mother.
She works for some person who has multiple web sites, and they suffer from some sort of attacks.
I am having no time for this. I work and learn 95% of my time.
I don't care what they offer. According to what I heard she works for corrupt person, and she already offered illegal work few days ago to me.
Thanks, no. They deal with too big sums of money, I dont wish to be arrested or killed. I have a good job, planned schedule for next half of year and my own life.2 -
Hey guys ! I'm currently working on a project to implement a simplest version of TinyDB on Z1 motes 😀
And you, what project are you currently working on ? 🤓11 -
Spent over an hour on a shell script that wasn't working properly. I use it, works perfectly. Every time cron executes, does nothing, not even log an error.
It took me that long to realize that the user I was getting the cron to run on didn't have permission to write to my log file... You would think I'd realize this when my error scripts didn't log...
(on that note, the Bandit games at OverTheWire have been awesome refresher on getting back into the swing of linux - highly recommend) -
I cannot remember having seen a more unethical and pushy user interface than the one of viagogo.
I'm a frustrated to close the entire tab within the first 10 seconds. It's a sad story on on how it tries to instill a sense of urgency to BOOK NOW!
100 people are looking RIGHT NOW at the YOUR offer! Stop thinking, act fast! BUY IT, YOU FOOL OR IT IS GONE!
Here, see all those other options are already sold out m( Oh look, that option over there? Just sold out in this very instant you lazy ass.
I have seen something similar on booking.com and airbnb, yet this egregious implementation truly gets my blood boiling and sets a new low.
I'll take my business elsewhere.
If you develop a web shop, treat your customers as actual adults. Let them breathe. Let them make an informed decision.
If you need to rush them, your business model is broken.
If my employer would ask me to develop something like that, I'd escalate hard. If that wouldn't suffice, I'd reject implementing that anti-feature and would look for a new job out of principle.2 -
Yesterday a met a self learned dev. He started electronics at 11 years old. He was homeschooled with no obligations at home. So he ended up doing about 10 hours of electronics a day. Until he got bored of it and realized he could integrate his own programes.
So he started coding 10 hours a day. He is really smart. I figured someone like that surely plays video games. So i mentionned path of exile. I love rpgs the new league is starting on friday， im trying to make exiled friends you know...
The guy tellls me he has no clue about the game so i ask him what games he play and thats when i heard: “factorysialimsntnaio” something. I was like “whaaat?”.
Its the type of game where you create your factory. You smelt， combine， make parts like screws and so on and build your factory.
Thats when i realized how some people will always be smarter than me ;)3 -
I'm so f*cking tired to have a lot of work rejected just because "I don't like it", because "today I like this thing, but tomorrow maybe"...
1. You are NOT even a designer
2. You have NOT a f*cking plan on what we are going to do in the next weeks
3. You are crazy AF because you pretend to have always what you ask without any kind of explanation, changes included..
YOU ARE NOT A LEADER.
YOU ARE JUST A bOSS.4 -
Trying to work out an encoding bug after upload, I ask them to send me the original version of the file that is currently uploaded. I look at the files and they seem strangely similar, but strangely different.
I reply to them, "To confirm, this is the version you uploaded?"
"Nope." -
I'm loving the fact that it's summer, I'm stuck in a windowless office, and everybody is complaining that the weather sucks and they can't go to the beach.1
-
Taking mandatory corporate compliance training that says what things I am not allowed to do...
BUT it's actually quite interesting because I never knew you could do these and well it's starting to give me ideas.... -
What do you do when you are to work on something you have never worked on before, and you are stuck, and you are too noob to understand the solutions provided on SO (if any); except pulling your hair and crying? Because that I have already done and you bet it didn't help.1
-
Only if javascript could have milkshakes, which would be it's favourite?
-Yes, you are right!!
If you couldn't get it, why are you even here?2 -
You know it realy hits you in the face when you are still alone with your computer when you are suddenly invited for a wedding of some of your friends
-
And here I am again, reading test cases that basically boil down to:
$testCase->foo = "bar";
$this->assertEquals($testCase, "bar");
$testCase2->foo = null;
$this->assertNull($testCase2->foo);
Why would anyone feel the need to write these kind of tests? They don't do anything. If I set up my mock a certain way, of course I will have that data, esp. if the unit under test only applies the data AS IS. (Funily enough through another component that already has the relevant dummy tests in place making these tests extra redundant and obsolete.)
You would think that one test case with dummy data suffices, yet no, there are like 30 examples that lie to you about apparent business logic cases, yet in the end the way you set up the mock decides what you will or won't get.
What's the point?6 -
Types google in browser, google gives search result for "google", clicks that, then main google page opens( search bar in center) , here he starts the actual query2
-
MFW I, a junior dev who just started have to explain what sql injection is to a senior IT person... It's not like I'm an expert in the field, but a little bit of expertise would be nice2
-
One week ago Google overhauled their "Now News". The news have unnecessary categories over the title, can't be swiped away anymore and some cards are way bigger than others.
At least now its proven that this kind of news is advertised shit and no more independant.
Ty Google! 😡 -
Sometimes we have setbacks, but the problems you face define who you are and what you are able to overcome. These include any issue with life. The challenges you once faced 5 years ago are nothing to the you that is now - keep up the good work :)2
-
I need to add new feature into the program which I wrote years ago so I start digging up the source code. The project is written in a language which I no longer code in.
That code is really poorly written with most of them don't have tests. I also find out that previous self is really a genius since he can keep track of huge project with almost no documentation.
To make matter worst, there are unused components (class,feature) in the source code. "Current me" have a policy of "just adding only a feature you need and remove unused feature" but it seem the "previous me" don't agree with the "current me".
The previous me also have the habit of using writing insane logic. I can remember what particular class and methods is doing but I can't figure out the details.
For example one method only have 5 line of code but it is very hard to figure out what those do.
The saving grace is that he know the important for method signature and using immutable data structure everywhere.
I was under the influence of caffeine and have a constant sleep deprivation at the time (only sleeping about 4 hour every day) so I can't blame him too hard.
I can't blame him too hard, right?
Could someone invent a time machine already? Invent time machine not to save the world but to save the developers from himself.4 -
Some topics are easy
Some are tough
If you understand all
You are the lord
but if you understand none
You are the RAM1 -
Human Resources Ministry: Releasing hospital infection numbers would cause panic
The good old negligence in the Hungarian healthcare system (infections occur because of human negligence).
It is only an article title, but inside it says that the Human Resources Ministry is delaying releasing the statistics for infections in Hospitals.
They had a lawsuit against them, but appealed it with "the statistics could be identified as personal data" which is bullshit, because these are summed statistics.
TLDR: Hungarian government is hiding hospital infection statistics from citizens with bullshit arguments
-
Oh... my... gosh. I don't think I've ever been more infuriated by people that talk about how much money their company is going to make. They talk about what they're going to buy, what they're going to do. How everyone they don't like is going to feel sorry for ever crossing them. And then they do absolute jack shit in terms of actually working towards their fantasy company that is going to make them billions. Know why? They're LAZY. It's nice to dream, but be realistic. Fuck. Listen, 90% or more of people are just average. If you don't work towards making yourself great, of course you're not going anywhere. Most people will never be rich. It's just how it is.
Bonus annoyance points for trying to make me do all the work for the company that will make them billions. -_- -
How do you feel about using TypeScript with React? I appreciate the benefits, but, as every snippet of React code everywhere on the web is vanilla JS,I just don't want the cognitive overhead.
Yes, I know TS is JS, but, if I'm not going to use the features, why bother? I'd want to strongly type props, state, etc.
What's the status of TypeScript support in the React ecosystem (eg Router, MUI, etc.)?
I'm kinda hoping Reason will get some traction as the type inference is much better, but, will that happen? Or is that going to fizzle so it's a choice between TS and JS?
Appreciate any thoughts on this---including those from anyone who's in the same boat.
Looking for views on TS in React ecosystem---no need to sell me on TS in general.6 -
Epiphany!!
01. You realized you are in matrix
00. You get only Pokemon to follow not the white rabbit (just kidding)
10. You realized you are not Morpehus
11. You realized you are also not Agent
100. You realized you are no where near Trinity or Oracle
101. You realized you are not even the Architect
110. You think you are Neo!!
111. You ask the right question : Who Am I ? (Not which pills to choose)
1000. Who you are ??? :
You are some one who is walking pass the Blonde Woman in Red without even giving a look at her. (May be too busy in our own world to realize the world around can be as beautiful as the code we write)4 -
The customer may always be right, but you are not a customer, you are a client. As a client you have come to us because you have no idea what you are talking about. Rarely do you even know what it is you even want. So how can you be right about something you know nothing about. I want you to be happy with the end product; I emotionally need it as it determines how I value myself as a developer. So trust me when I tell you that you are wrong. That is why you are my client. To give you what you never knew you wanted.
-
"why has this broken on the site? How can you not cater for it?"
-Looks at what was added-
"uuuuh, any reason the height has been set to 1px? :/" -
What are your resolutions for 2021? What mistakes do you promise to not make any more and what mistakes are you yet to make? What wrongs are you to right next year?6
-
Anyone seen the series "You Are Wanted Wanted" with the german actor Matthias Schweighöfer on Amazon? (Don't know if it's available outside of Germany)
Anyways.. they basically took scenes from various known digital works and put them in there. And whenever that happened i felt the cringe rising in me..:I
Examples are faked cctv recordings as seen in prison break, JASON with the red balloon, heavy rain and the all people are hacked and used thing from a black mirror episode..1 -
Why.
A PHP variable "declared" in the jQuery.
I don't know why Sublime Text (3) does that.
(Sorry for the quality, the screencut was for friends but I thought it could belong here too.)
Disclaimer:
I don't use jQuery, previous "dev" did.
I don't actually care about this.
6 -
You have Total 4 Points
* You lose a point if you are reading this on your computer screen
* You lose a point if you are barefooted
* You lose a point if you are tired of everything and want a vacation
* You lose a point if you want a chilled beer
How many points you have now ?10 -
The moment you are the villain because you are doing some tasks with the PM , unable to answer the other one and other one thinks you are arrogant .
Icing in the cake , the PM you are working with says you are busy on some other project and he will let you know
:/ -
If there are no backup singers... and you are the only singer... is it really important for you to specify that you are a "lead" singer?9
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Nothing’s better than listening to music and a second of the song is nostalgic. Brought me back to when I was 6 y/o.1
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I think the dev missed a nullcheck before `handlebars.compile(name)`, don't you think?
// this snippet is from our product's repo ;)
7 -
Now that everyones gone over to Chromium and only Gecko stands against it, I think it's time for Devrantium to rise up and challenge the duopoly.2
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How many of you are completing undergraduate degrees?
Are you pursuing any special discipline? (E.g software engineering, Data science...)
Or you are grasping a bit of everything?1 -
I got downvoted in stackoverflow because the guy had two problems. One he mentioned in the question, everyone answered that. The problem persisted because there was another problem too. And I kindly mentioned the problem. I currently have two downvotes on that answer. And I bet you, the answer is correct and working. I even created a codepen.3
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a "configurable" confirmation system, where page conditions (e.g. customerId=someId, etc.) are stored in the DB as a comma separated string to be run through a stack expression evaluator, so that customers can add a "confirmation" (aka just a modal dialog) with custom reminder text when a user does a certain thing on a certain page....2
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I couldn't help myself but notice something oddly familiar during one of the talks at elixir conf 2018:
Talk (~15 seconds):
https://youtu.be/Z2DU0qLfPIY?t=14m
What it made me think about:
https://youtu.be/WChHqaO5SeI -
"Take this test," they said.
I did, and scored 81/100. Not great, but not bad.
"Not bad," they said. "But you took too much time and didn't show us experience in JavaScript."
I completed all tasks in the allotted time and did them all in JavaScript. What else am I supposed to do for you people?1 -
I think it would be kind of fun to share the country of origin(optionally, of course). I've made it clear in the past that I live in Greece, and I've been wondering if there's anyone here living less than 200km away or something.
On the other hand, it could also be creepy, I don't know...4 -
I recently got hired on as a contractor to help the company take ownership of a vendor's product.
In one of the repositories that was delivered to us, at the root level of the repo is only src/ and .gitignore
Everything else, including package.json, .npmrc, .docerignore, and everything else, is all inside the src/ directory.2 -
When someone truncates several tables and removes their column indices in DEV so my quick two line change testing goes from taking 30 minutes to 3 days while I restore all 200 million rows and re-index all the columns. 🙄
-
Even when the code is right, it's wrong. Like when you are fixing bugs:
"damn, this variable doesn't look like it belongs in this part of the code", but when you look further into it you see that is correct and you continue with the bug and have no idea what the next step should be.1 -
If(social_Life){
System.out.println("you are not developer");
}else{
System.out.println("You are Developer");
}1 -
Anyone else feel like they spend half of their day helping their boss to debug and code? I mean he only has about 20 years of experience over me.
-
How the heck do you ever make your managers satisfied. They somehow conspire to make you work and then chuck it by the end, only to use their own shitty solutions and to prove that you are worthless. IF YOU ARE A SENIOR, IT DOES'NT MEAN YOU ARE BETTER.1
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I requested an response from an Json api, the documenting and example showed perfect json as soon as I request it my self I get an array with Json in it.
What fucking logic is it to left your Json api with an array that contains the fucking Json took me way to long to debug that shit.1 -
It you are just starting to learn programming and you are telling everyone else where the best resources are... and what the best practices are... and just repeating everything you hear... and you have “imposter syndrome,” it’s because you are an imposter.
Just enjoy the learning process. It’s not going to end...
Stop being a liar - and you’ll stop feeling like people think you are lying.5 -
If you Java Programmer are joking with Javascript programmers by they using "console.log", I alert you, you are using System.out.println(""), in your "debug" way1
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I successfully PCI passed through my nvidia 970m to Bluescreen-OS on a nvidia optimus laptop.
Totally useless, if your GPU does not have any video output ٩๏̯͡๏۶
What's the point about having an HDMI output, if it neither works with the intel 530, nor with the 970m? Is it even connected? I mean, srsly, why would you do that? Best Linux support ever!!!1!!!1 -
How do you measure happiness?
Brilliant video and amazing comment section.
https://youtu.be/6Pm0Mn0-jYU7 -
Felt like an idiot when realized that argument `back_populate` refers to the attribute of the class passed to `relationship`, not the stupid name of the table of any class, ugh
-
YouTube, one moment you are searching for a library and the next thing you know you are learning the difference between Chinese and Japanese writing sytems1
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when you forgot you're on ops duty and there are things you are supposed to do because you associate it with only needing to/do look at shit when you are pinged by automated systems/alerts or people looking for help1
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Humans only live for eighty years (average).
What percentage are you the way through yours?
You must be knackered 🧓9
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