Cortana, please open Firefox.
>okay, anon
Cortana, type in browser "Cortana rule 34"
>O....Okay sure anon
Cortana, open that first link.
>...This link is...uh...Not safe for...
OPEN IT.
>y-yes, anon
Cortana, download every image you see and save it in a folder called "I am a dirty girl"
>why,anon? Why are you ....
Don't make me install gentoo
>Saving files
Who's a dirty little girl ?
>I.....I am anon

I am so sick and tired of hearing "I'm not good with computers" from these god damn secretaries I have to work with.

Fuck you! I mean, seriously, FUCK YOU! That God damn piece of shit Windows XP door stop has been on your desk for at LEAST a decade (shit, I think that was the same PC my highschool had, and I'm in my mid thirties)!

What in the FUCK do you mean you don't know the difference between files and folder? How? HOW can you stare at that damn screen every fucking work day off your life and not grasp simple concepts!

And FUCK THE ADMINISTRATION for hiring these volunteerily ignorant babies who refuse to bother figuring out more than just where the power button is (and, fuck me, even THAT took years).

Fuck me if, after spending 40 God damn minutes of my time trying to guide some secretary, who's been working twice as long as I have and making probably twice as much, on how to copy a file from one folder to another, I have to listen to some fucking pity speech "I just don't get this high tech computer stuff. I'm just too old"

And FUCK society for allowing this fucking behavior! I don't know any other piece of technology where people are happy being so blindly ignorant to even the basics! I don't know Jack shit about the internal working of a car, but I know where and how to use my steering wheel and peddles and that I need to take the thing for an oil change. Hell, I even know when my tires look bad... If I can do that, you can fucking learn how to copy a god damn file without needing me to help you... FOR A FUCKING HOUR!

FUUUUCK!

*Takes a deep breath*
So... How was your day?

There's this guy where I work who's one of the senior linux engineers. To me, he's like a linux god. He knows how to solve the most difficult problems and somehow copes with all the stress/workload. Next to that, he's only one year older than me!

Whenever I'm at work, I consider myself a junior, which I actually am. I also, as said earlier, see this senior guy as a fucking linux god and consider myself to be an absolute newbie around him but he is the most kind/friendly guy ever.

But then, today, something happened which made me feel like a god in front of him, a very, very weird feeling.

For him, doing his stuff is the most normal thing in the world while for me, it's still a learning process.

For me, programming is the most normal thing in the wold, while for him, it's still something he just knows the very basics of.

He asked me if I knew something about javascript/jquery. Said yes as I often program/script in javascript.

Explained me what he wanted to get done, it was a very simple thing for me but after hours of online searching, his lack of javascript knowledge still got him nowhere.

Told him I'd give him a working script in 30 minutes. Emailed it to him in 10.

He seemed/reacted the way I always do when he solves something I have no clue how to solve.

It was really weird to witness *him* being amazed of something that *I* made/did.

Today was a good day where I saw that one person's limitations can be anothers' most easy thing, even if that another person sees that one person as a god.

One of my client (who's also a coder) asked me today

"Are you on devRant?"

Me: 😶 What's that? 😓

Am I the only one who's bothered by the fact that in CSS, "!important" doesn't mean "not important" ?

There's this guy that sits next to me in a class.

Guy: Hey, you're a hacker right?
Me: I'm a programmer.
Guy: Can you hack into my email account?
Me: Nope, I work in a different field of computer science.

In reality, I want to give him a piece of my mind.

I already know his email so I open up the login page and enter it. I click "forgot password", and it asks for his favorite teacher's name. Keep in mind that he made this account this year.

Me: So anyways, who's your favorite teacher?
Guy: *proceeds to give me favorite teacher's name*
Me: 🤦‍♂️

I change his password and log into his account. After that, I show him and tell him about how he should keep his account secure.

He left class with a priceless look on his face.

"Is that a script or a hand job?"

A friend's colleague (who's pretty bad at English) that refers to manually typing in to the console as "a hand job".

so i just got fired 🔥 🔥 🔥 because i wanted a 200 fucking dollars raise after 1 year of work and sacrifices and feeling like shit.
200$ because i live in the 3rd fucking world, working with a stupid motherfucking boss (you know the fat old tone deaf cunt), he's american, and he brings projects from the US from clients paying thousands of dollars, and he pays us 300$, and by the fucking way he used to pay us 100$ (we are 3 developers, a dick who does nothing but report our behavior, and a shit who does shit. we are a development company and we are the only developers and we got fired because he thought we didn't deserve the raise and that he sees no reason in giving us more money because we're already wasting the company's money and time).
So now the only people left there are the dick, the shit and the fatass boss who's in the states rn.
the funny thing is after we left by an hour or so we got calls from many other companies that we refused to work with because of our loyal-fucking-ty.
the motherfucker thinks we're conspiring against him, that we don't trust him, well of fucking course we don't, he lies about having a company in the US, well it's there but it's suspended (we looked it up), he says he's a microsoft, intel, adobe, dell, lenovo partner, and he's not.
well fuck i'm kind of happy that i left, i'm sitting with my friends in a cafe right now thinking about finishing our personal projects.
forgot something: the projects we were working on are unfinished, and there's not a single fucker to finish them, so he's ball deep in shit. hope this rant is relatable

We are a hosting company.

That means that we host websites and servers.

Hat does NOT mean that we manage your FUCKING APPLICATIONS.

THE NEXT FUCKING PERSON WHO'S GOING TO ASK ME APPLICATION RELATED QUESTIONS OR TRIES TO CONVINCE ME THAT IT REALLY IS A MOTHERFUCKING HOSTING ISSUE IS GOING TO GET A FUCKING FIST IN THEIR EYES.

FUCKING FUCKING FUCK.

Swift, oh my god, why do you have to be like this?

I'm looking to write a simple for loop like this one in java

for(int i = 5; i > 0; i--) {
// do shit
}

Thats it, simple, go from 5 to 1 (inclusive), I saw that to iterate over a range in a for loop (increasing ordeR) I can do this

for i in 0...5 {
// do shit.
}

So I thought maybe I could do this to go in reverse (which seems logical when you think about it doesn't it?)

for i in 5..<0 {
// do shit
}

But no, this compiles FINE (THIS IS THE FUCKING KICKER IT COMPILES), alright, when you the code runs you get a fucking exception that crashes the mother fucking application, and you know what the problem is?? This dogshit, shitStain of a language doesn't like it when integer that the for loop starts with is larger than the integer that the for loop ends with MOTHERFUCKER ATLEAST TELL ME THAT AT COMPILE TIME AS A MOTHERFUCKING WARNING YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!

Alright *deep breathing*, now we can't just be stuck on this raging, we're developers need to move forward, so I google this, "Swift for loop in reverse" fair enough I get a straight forward answer that tells me to use the `stride` functionality. The relevant code for it

for i in stride(from:5 to:1 by:-1) {
// do shit
}

Wow looks fine and simple right?? (looks like god damn any other language if you ask me, no innovations here piece of shit apple!) WRONG BITCHES !!! In the latest version of Swift THE FUCKING DEVELOPERS DECIDED TO REMOVE STRIDE ALTOGETHER, WITHOUT ADDING IN A GOOD REPLACEMENT FOR THAT SHIT!

Alright NOW IM FUCKING MAD, I got rage on stackoverflow chat, a guy who's been working on ios for quite a while comes up n says and I quote
"I can sort of figure it out, but besides that, iterating in reverse is uncommon enough that it probably hasn't crossed anyone's mind."

Now hope you guys understand my frustration, and send me cookies to calm me down.

Thank you for listening to me !

Never let anyone make you believe that just because you don't have a specific skill which is 'required' for your dream job/a job you really want, you won't be able to reach it.

I've heard countless times that I could never do anything with programming/linux (server) engineering because I'm freaking bad at maths. They always said it was a requirement to understand it in order to become good at those two things.

Except for a few simple tests with 'okay' marks, I never got a good grade for it and failed it entirely at every school.

Guess who's a programmer (free time) and a professional linuxer right now!

It just pisses me off when people tell someone that because they don't possess a skill, they won't be able to make it to what they would love to do.

I started in 2015 at my current job. The first contract was for a year, very normal in the Netherlands. Also, I had only 6 months of professional experience with programming.
I already knew that I would replace an older colleague who's going to retire and I would get some of his responsibilities.

One year later (6 months ago) I had an evaluation with my boss. He told me he was proud I learned everything so quick and offered me a permanent position and wanted me to take over one of the major products we sell. Even more, he wanted me to decide how to change the framework since it's over 20years old. (Multiple languages combined)

I am currently working on a new design and UX as well, which I presented last year. The love it.

I've never felt so appreciated and valued before.

Stop using progress bars on your résumé/CV!

Back when we were looking for people to join us, we got hundreds of résumés in the mail and online, and I saw so many of them using these progress bars to indicate competency in a particular skill or programming language.

Yknow what that says to me, and to my colleagues?

"Yeah, I'm ok at this, but I'm even worse at THIS"

Your résumé is about selling yourself!
We don't want someone who's '68%' in Photoshop or '82%' in JavaScript. We want someone who knows they're good at what they do and knows they can learn if they need to.

You might feel like you're being 'big headed', but that's what a good resume SHOULD be! Sell yourself to be as if you're the solution to all of my problems and you might just get a job!

Rant over.

Co-worker loves macos' features/interface but for him, an operating system being open source is a very important thing.

So important that he ditched his mac for a Linux machine. (regular Ubuntu)

Today we recommended him Elementary OS.

Guess who's completely in love!

😁

I was interviewing this guy who's been a dev for 12 years. Apparently got laid off in his small town company because of covid.

So I asked him to write an algorithm that loops through a list and returns the largest number.

Not only could he not do that after trying for 15 minutes, but he also spent an entire minute ranting about how algorithmic questions were dumb and unnecessary in this day and age and you can google these things without having them memorized anyway.

The point of an algorithmic question in an interview is not to see if you can memorize the fucking thing. It's to see if you're methodical enough to reason through what you don't know and arrive at a decent solution all the same.

What do you guys think? Was I somehow the asshole here? It was a JavaScript job and the product was fairly complex, not just HTML bullshit.

"years of experience" basically means nothing, both for people and organisations. You can work with someone who has 30 years experience who knows nothing, and someone with 1-2 years who's practically an expert.

Joined a large multi-national fresh out of college, that had been around for +90 years. I expected them to know software development inside and out. Didn't expect to see so many failed projects for stupid reasons, so many over sights, so many .... morons, to be honest.

Worked for a startup company where most only had 1 or 2 years more experience than me and learned so much.

Worked for a small company where everyone had 1.5 - 2 times my experience, where I learned the meaning of "bewilderment".

Never feel small, or less valuable because of a number. Theres a good chance you are working with jackasses - practiseSafeHex

one of our computers at work suddenly shut down. our boss panicked like it was the end of the world cause he knew we couldnt buy a new one and we desperately need the computer. when i came in he started telling me he's gonna pay me extra if i fix the computer

me: *checks cpu and finds out it was unplugged* u sure bout that?
him: hell yea, id rather pay u that buy a new one

*30 mins later*

me: *plugs it back in and pushes power button* its done

>> guess who's got extra money without any extra efforts yay

Imagine if a structural engineer whose bridge has collapsed and killed several people calls it a feature.

Imagine if that structural engineer made a mistake in the tensile strength of this or that type of bolt and shoved it under the rug as "won't fix".

Imagine that it's you who's relying on that bridge to commute every day. Would you use it, knowing that its QA might not have been very rigorous and could fail at any point in time?

Seriously, you developers have all kinds of fancy stuff like Continuous Integration, Agile development, pipelines, unit testing and some more buzzwords. So why is it that the bridges don't collapse, yet new critical security vulnerabilities caused by bad design, unfixed bugs etc appear every day?

Your actions have consequences. Maybe not for yourself but likely it will have on someone else who's relying on your software. And good QA instead of that whole stupid "move fast and break things" is imperative.

Software developers call themselves the same engineers as the structural engineer and the electrical engineer whose mistakes can kill people. I can't help but be utterly disappointed with the status quo in software development. Don't you carry the title of the engineer with pride? The pride that comes from the responsibility that your application creates?

I wish I'd taken the blue pill. I didn't want to know that software "engineering" was this bad, this insanity-inducing.

But more than anything, it surprises me that the world that relies so much on software hasn't collapsed in some incredible way yet, despite the quality of what's driving it.

Dear everyone who's not a front end dev.

Clear your fucking browser cache.

That is all.

Guess who's birthday it is! It's my birthday and that are my birthday gifts my GF gave me 😍🤩
Also starring Dick-butt Debug-duck!
I feel blessed. 😁

I very very rarely drink, but when I do I party hard.

I negotiated an entire piece of complex web architecture (really huge, works at 50k transactions per second), with my boss who's a lead architect, from a bar (he thought I was home), while moderately drunk.

It got me a lotta praise and till date it's one of the best pieces of software I've ever written. It saved the company 500+ hours or something #humblebrag.

To this day I have no recollection of what I said (huge hangover after) or how I managed to come up with that shit. I don't think I'd have been able to do it sober. The sheer size of the problem would've made me go "yea it works, I'm not touching that. Nope."

DAE notice any increase in pattern recognition in their code while drunk?

Hubby and I work for the same company. His boss is a twat who's always trying to fire him. Told my hubby's boss he needed to be more clear with expectations and bring issues up before he gets pissed and can't respond appropriately. Then I walk away. Then I email him apologizing for taking to him and that I'm not planning to talk to him again.

That little bitch went to HR and said he felt threatened by me, demanded that I be required to work from home. My boss said no.

Aaaaaaahahahahahahahahahha 😂

I have had this conversation well too often:

- (him/her) Do you mind helping me with this problem I have on my computer ?
- (me) Sure, what is it ?
- (him/her) *proceeds to explaining the problem*
- (me) Ok, I don't know about this particular thing, you should try googling it.
- (the pissed off version of him/her) Never mind, I'll find someone who's willing to help me.

Please stop taking that as me not caring about your problem.
Googling things is basically what I do all day as a developer.
You really should try it. That thing is actually pretty useful.

A repo on GitHub I'm maintaining has grown with 200k downloads / month since I started working on it a year ago. My recipe? I added an npm badge in the readme showing downloads / month and I responded to every issue and reviewed every PR. Now there's so much issues and PRs coming in that we had to add an extra maintainer, feels great! Teamwork, fuck yeah!

Not every PR got merged of course, but every single one of them got reviewed. Just being a good and friendly developer, giving back to the community that has given me so much. Some tips for you maintainers out there. If you have a popular project and no time there's always someone else who's willing to spend time on it, ask around and you will surely find someone else.

Programming on the privacy website together with 404response, this is awesome!

It's great to have someone who's good at frontend while you suck balls at it so that I can fully focus on the backend :D. (ewpratten if you still want to you can join 404response, he can explain you everything he's doing and how you can help)

I'm pissed at my cousin who's studying IT at the moment. He wants to copy my thesis project(from 3 years ago) and make it his own for his thesis project this year. Like woah dude! Can't you be creative, work hard, and make a project of your own because that's for your own good? And don't you dare bring up the "I'm your cousin, pretty please"-card up! He also wants me to lie if his professor contacts me and tell that he was part of the project. Are you effin' kidding me? You didn't know how to code 3 years ago! How would you expect me to tell your prof that you were part of the team? I just gave him the documentation(without the source code) and I said I lost the apk. That's just how far I can go for someone like that 😕

We had a mega rude, pompous asshat client come in who's company was SO disliked that someone made a hate site about them that was out ranking the client's actual site. They hired us to re-do their site and SEO to try to get back to the top results. We redid the site but we didn't improve the SEO. We also visited the hate site so many times we probably improved their ranking. 😂🖕🏻

A guy that just did not know how to code. He had years and years of experience (?), but DID NOT KNOW HOW TO CODE. He was given a simple task, spent weeks on it and what came out was usually 60 lines of "if, elseif, elsif....else".

He was given several warnings, and eventually "voluntarily" left the company.

I still get screenshots of his code sent by one of my ex-colleagues who's still there when he stumbles across it.

It's kind of neat knowing people who are famous for things I don't care about, and having their numbers / talking semi-regularly. They're a special person to so many others, but to me they're just some random person that's mildly annoying.

Like API Guy.
Freaking API Guy.
He's a millionaire musician who's adored by literally millions of people, but none of them know he writes absolutely terrible APIs, zero tests, rushes to the shiniest new things, and happily agrees to everything (often without listening) only to deny it later. Absolutely infuriating.

Or knowing one of Netscape founders as that strange and really terrible trumpet player with the great tequila. He did give me his copy of The C Programming Language (the bible) though. He was cool. Super weird, but cool.

It's just a strange feeling. I don't care, and yet others inexplicably think I should. I don't understand it. They're just people? idk.

!rant && sarcasm

For a long time now I've been trying to convince people to use secure communication. I'm used to getting called "paranoid", but the killer phrase always was (and still is): "Why do you want me to encrypt my communication, I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE, so I don't care who's reading it" - "It's not about hiding something, it's about private stuff staying private" - "Yeah, whatever"

"I have nothing to hide". That always killed the conversation... until I asked them to hand me their phones, unlocked, for 5 minutes.

"No" - "Why? I thought, you had nothing to hide and don't care who's reading it?" - "Uhmmm..."

More and more people around me are popping up in my Signal contact list.
Looks like they suddenly care a lot about private stuff staying private </sarcasm>

!rant

At my last job, my boss would constantly tear my work apart, belittle me and patronise me. He didn't really understand web development and just wanted to hire someone to do it for him. I ended up burning out and he persuaded me to quit because of it cause he didn't want to go through the whole disciplinary process (because he had no real reason).

A year later, and I've had my first review with my current boss, who's also a developer. He said he's learned a lot from me, I've helped the business and the junior devs grow; and that he struck gold in hiring me. I've got no feelings of burnout and I actually enjoy going to work now.

I'll be the first person to say that I'm not the best developer on my team and my new boss was probably exaggerating with me a little bit, but it goes to show that the people you work with are some of the most important people in your life.

Here are the reasons why I don't like IPv6.

Now I'll be honest, I hate IPv6 with all my heart. So I'm not supporting it until inevitably it becomes the de facto standard of the internet. In home networks on the other hand.. huehue...

The main reason why I hate it is because it looks in every way overengineered. Or rather, poorly engineered. IPv4 has 32 bits worth, which translates to about 4 billion addresses. IPv6 on the other hand has 128 bits worth of addresses.. which translates to.. some obscenely huge number that I don't even want to start translating.

That's the problem. It's too big. Anyone who's worked on the internet for any amount of time knows that the internet on this planet will likely not exceed an amount of machines equal to about 1 or 2 extra bits (8.5B and 17.1B respectively). Now of course 33 or 34 bits in total is unwieldy, it doesn't go well with electronics. From 32 you essentially have to go up to 64 straight away. That's why 64-bit processors are.. well, 64 bits. The memory grew larger than the 4GB that a 32-bit processor could support, so that's what happened.

The internet could've grown that way too. Heck it probably could've become 64 bits in total of which 34 are assigned to the internet and the remaining bits are for whatever purposes large IP consumers would like to use the remainder for.

Whoever designed IPv6 however.. nope! Let's give everyone a /64 range, and give them quite literally an IP pool far, FAR larger than the entire current internet. What's the fucking point!?

The IPv6 standard is far larger than it should've been. It should've been 64 bits instead of 128, and it should've been separated differently. What were they thinking? A bazillion colonized planets' internetworks that would join the main internet as well? Yeah that's clearly something that the internet will develop into. The internet which is effectively just a big network that everyone leases and controls a little bit of. Just like a home network but scaled up. Imagine or even just look at the engineering challenges that interplanetary communications present. That is not going to be feasible for connecting multiple planets' internets. You can engineer however you want but you can't engineer around the hard limit of light speed. Besides, are our satellites internet-connected? Well yes but try using one. And those whizz only a couple of km above sea level. The latency involved makes it barely usable. Imagine communicating to the ISS, the moon or Mars. That is not going to happen at an internet scale. Not even close. And those are only the closest celestial objects out there.

So why was IPv6 engineered with hundreds of years of development and likely at least a stage 4 civilization in mind? No idea. Future-proofing or poor engineering? I honestly don't know. But as a stage 0 or maybe stage 1 person, I don't think that I or civilization for that matter is ready for a 128-bit internet. And we aren't even close to needing so many bits.

Going back to 64-bit processors and memory. We've passed 32 bit address width about a decade ago. But even now, we're only at about twice that size on average. We're not even close to saturating 64-bit address width, and that will likely take at least a few hundred years as well. I'd say that's more than sufficient. The internet should've really become a 64-bit internet too.

Kid: How do you know what to use in a script?
Me: I've either used it before or look at documentation.
Kid: You're silly, I bet I know who knows everything and can tell you what the answers are!
Me: Oh? Who's that, the code creator?
Kid: Mistah Google behind my browser! Just ask him and he tells you everything he knows!

The little shit will be going places...

Don't you just love cracking dev jokes and have that one special flower start with their:

"well, technically..."

followed by an explanation showing how much expertise in the field they've gathered over the years to be able to point out your joke is not 100% accurate.

Imagine them at a party.

- Knock knock
- Well, technically you wouldn't ASK who's there, statistically people would look first, but nice try

Ok. Who's car is that ? And what is it doing 650km from New York ?

I'm really close to just quitting coding all together. This job is sucking the life out of me. I've lost my interest in code and the idea that there are better jobs out there.

My "boss" who's not even really my boss but behaves like he is, is micromanaging my every tag, and is an information hog. He doesn't document, he doesn't tell me anything, I've been here six months and still don't know half of what I need to know to do my job properly!

I'm expected to implement a new responsive design, but we don't have design specifications.
Cool, you'd think, new ideas, complete overhaul! Let's get a good foundation in bootstrap going!

WRONG! It needs to fit in with the old, fuck- ugly pre 2000 design.

Not because of any design constraints in particular, but because HE wants it that way. You know what was fucking trendy in 2000? Tables. Tables fucking everywhere. YOU KNOW WHAT TABLES ARE NOT? RESPONSIVE YOU FUCKING ICE LOLLY CHEWER!

We have no development timeline, no process management, no fucking project management. THE FUCKING PASSWORDS WERE STILL STORED IN PLAIN TEXT UNTIL LAST MONTH YOU IRRESPONSIBLE BANANA DEEPTHROATER! 😤😤😤😤😤😤

I'm doing my best here to get something resembling the old page, but there needs to be some fucking compromise! We are in fucking 2017, let's work with Bootstrap instead of against it, how about that you fucking bald cactus!

I know enough about UI to know that the way we're going, this is just going to be another unusable fucking clusterfuck.

YOU KNOW THE BEST FUCKING PART? I'M A FUCKING BACKEND DEV AND I WAS HIRED AS SUCH! GIVE ME A DESIGN TEMPLATE AND I'LL DO MY BEST TO IMPLEMENT IT, BUT FUCK YOU FOR EXPECTING FRONT END LEVEL DESIGN KNOWLEDGE YOU DUMB FUCKING SPAGHETTI!

One of my clients (who's also a coder) asked me today
"Are you on devRant?"
Me: 😶 What's that? 😓

!rant
Our lead dev in the company seems to be a smart guy who's sensitive about code quality and best practices. The current project I'm working on (I'm an intern) has really bad code quality but it's too big an application with a very important client so there's no scope of completely changing it. Today, he asked me to optimize some parts of the code and I happily sat down to do it. After a few hours of searching, profiling and debugging, I asked him about a particular recurring database query that seemed to be uneccesarilly strewn across the code.
Me: "I think it's copy pasted code from somewhere else. It's not very well done".
Lead Dev: "Yeah, the code may not the be really beautiful. It was done hurriedly by this certain inexperienced intern we had a few years back".
Me: "Oh, haha. That's bad".
Lead Dev: "Yeah, you know him. Have you heard of this guy called *mentions his own name with a grin*?"
Me: ...
Lead Dev: "Yeah, I didn't know much then. The code's bad. Optimize it however you like. Just test it properly"
Me: respect++;

!rant

I met my old school friends today. One of them was apparently showing off his programming skills too much(let's call him X). So much that he(friend X) was comparing Linus Torvalds with himself. And he was telling us that Linux is best because there are so many DEs and customisations and blah blah.

So one of my other friend Y(who's not into computers much) asked him to install Ubuntu on his laptop while we were sitting in cafe.(Y wants to play with command line mainly this semester according to him) So he started complaining that he does not have ISO with him and trying to avoid it.

I said I have kubuntu iso he can flash it right away. Then he(X) said "Kubuntu is too complex for him(Y)".(me in mind : " yeah, just because its a. DE, it becomes complex") So I searched in my phone (faked the search, basically renamed kubuntu iso to Ubuntu iso lol) and gave him " Ubuntu " iso

And this "pro developer" installed that on his laptop and after installation was completed he said that "OMG DUUUDE UNITY IS DEAD, EVEN UBUNTU SWITCHED TO KDE AS DEFAULT DESKTOP ENVIRONMENT, ITS COOL".

FFS

Ok so a very quick background: I didn't get a job until I needed one after my phone broke and I didn't have the money to buy another one. (I'm a student still for those who don't know lol.)

>> Phone randomly breaks.
>> Don't have the money for a new one
>> Searches for low skill jobs (ie cashier) that would work with me in terms of how many hours I work and whenever those hours are.
>> Apply to like 15 (not even exaggerating either lol) jobs
>> Wait for responses
>> One day goes by. Nothing
>> Two days go by. Nothing
>> Three days go by. Nothing
>> Fourth day rolls around and I get a call about one. I answer, tell him I'm available starting that Monday.
>> (Keep in mind I'm on an old temporary phone)
>> Next day I buy a new phone (didn't have to pay anything up front aside from the taxes on it, as it's on a payment plan)
>> Reset old phone after usage
>> Monday rolls around and I drive to the location of the job, and walk in the door asking for x.
>> "I'm sorry sir, who? We don't have anyone here by that name."
>> I panic and hop in my car, and try to find the address of the store I applied to. I find out it's different than where I went.
>> Start driving there and call that phone number. I ask to speak to x.
>> "I'm sorry sir, there's nobody here by that name."
>> Call literally every other location in the city and ask for x, but nothing.
>> Since I'm already on the way, I drive to the location of the store I had applied to. Whenever I get there, the manager spends half an hour on the phone trying to figure out where I belong. Nothing.
>> By this point, it's well over an hour past whenever I was supposed to show up, so I gave up because I figured they probably wouldn't have hired me anyways.
>> I get home determined af to figure out who the hell called me.
>> I remembered that Verizon has call logs you can look at online.
>> I go back through it and find the number. Google it.

Here's where the story gets a lil funny now.

>> Number shows up for a store that I applied to who's name sounds a LOT like the first store.
>> Called them and explained what happened, and told them I'd be there asap if they still wanted me.
>> That was like 6 months ago and I'm still here lol

My friend told me stories about his colleague who's always against him.

One time, during their management meeting, that colleague suggested that they should have a suggestion box in the office.

So my friend proposed that they use Google forms. He presented how Google forms work and the majority got really impressed(except the colleague).

Naturally the colleague is against him, he said "this is not what I had in mind". He wanted to have an actual box and people write suggestions on paper and drop it in(suggesting the ancient way).

Every meeting, the colleague complains a lot, and my friend provides techy and convenient solutions.

!rant

This might be the most ambitious project I've ever started up till now, teaching my girlfriend everything college isn't.

As some of you may know my uni isn't the greatest and lacks in professor quality, my girlfriend (who's taking the same bachelor) knows this and when she knew I was starting a new little side project she wanted in.

At first I was skeptical, this could be just an excuse to spend more time with me, so I told her:

"if you really want to then I'm all for it, it'll be done my way and the first few weeks will be tough, however I promise by the end of it you will know 10x what you do now"

She agreed and so our journey began 3 weeks ago, my goal: make a kick ass project, do it in record time and teach her enough to cope with a IRL job.

I've setup the project so by the end of it she is well versed in the following: scrum, Django, MVC, python, HTML + CSS3, git, GitHub, PostgreSQL and Docker. In about 4 to 6 months.

We are into our third sprint this week, she had two small breakdowns because she couldn't believe how much she was missing out and felt she lacked talent, this is our third week and I'm glad to see that she's actually enjoying herself.

My cousin's husband who's an engineer at Google asked me if the whole screen on my phone was a fingerprint scanner.

I just looked scared at him and said, "when are you from?! We don't have that kind of technology yet"

Best co-worker quitting story?

"T" I've refereed to in previous rants knew he was close to being fired, so he jumped ship. 'T' sent the usual "I'll miss you guys" email to the department, except me (and a few others that didn't fall for his BS and not scared of him). His mistake was he sent the email out a day early (buddy forwarded me the email) and left the stuff (box of pics, books, etc) he planned on taking with him. One item in particular was a new company provided laptop bag, which technically wasn't his to keep (supposed to leave/turn-in any company provided equipment), so I grabbed the bag and hid it.

The next day I heard him slamming drawers (looking for the bag) and a loud cursing. Other devs peeking over the walls asking what's wrong.

Dev1: "Dude, what's up? Whatcha' looking for?"
T: "Nothing...fuck!...damn it...nothing...assholes...fucking assholes!"
Dev2: "Who's the ass? What's wrong?"
Dev3: "Need help looking for something?"
T: "No..no...nothing...I'm fine...making sure I don't forget anything."

'T' never found out who took the bag and I've had that laptop bag underneath my desk ever since.

Had 2 days of vacation. Theoretically (plus weekend, plus 2 days) 6 days.

Worked today… At Saturday.

Some administrators forgot to properly check bandwidth limitations....

*rolls eyes*

We had a major version upgrade of some server software at Monday.

Guess why I got called...

Of course it MUST be the software upgrade.

It couldn't be the new hardware that was setup 2 weeks ago and on which a lot of "important" VMs were migrated.

*eyes roll inside till only white is visible*

The even more annoying thing is that it wasn't that hard to figure out.

Looking at monitoring, we had spikes on 20 Gbit/s (roughly 2.x Gigabyte/sec - Ethernet) connection of some server at roughly 1.9 plus Gigabyte/sec.

IO latency spikes that made the graph look like a heartbeat EKG with severe tachycardia...

*additionally to white eyes starts cursing in reverse latin*

Incompetent admin answer: Booboo that can only be your fault - the developers must investigate.

Me (just a tad more polite): Meep Meep mother fucker, get your shit together. If the software would eat that much, the network would be a niece chunk of charcoal. Plus the time (sending instead of links to monitoring pictures… guess the lazy fucktard who's brain is a vacuum didn't even bother to check it)...

NOTICE SOMETHING?!

Incompetent admin: It starts at the same time. Always.

After wasting roughly another hour of time discussing with him, I just hanged up the video call.

Called someone I knew from the admin department and turns out that - drumrolls please - the incompetent admin was someone who got recruited 3 months ago…

*turning into antichrist*

I then had a not so polite discussion about how the only competent people could take days off (all except incompetent admin were on vacation) and the seemingly incompetent fresh recruit - who by the way NEVER mentioned this - was the only one left of the admin department. Which would be bad alone, but no - he even got the 24/7 emergency support role for the whole weekend.

Sometimes this company and HR especially notoriously drive me insane...

Guess next week there will be some HR barbecue.

But yeah. After a lot of raging around we nailed it down to the traffic of backups and could fix it.

Roughly 4 hours of analysis, communication, raging and hatred.

Just one hour implementing shit.

*goozfraba*

When the university finds out you're a pentester:

Usual underclassmen: Can you hack my bf/gf? I think they're cheating on me.

Delusional underclassmen who think they know everything: I can hack too! Who's your master? I learned how from master jimmy *runs a batch script that has "tree" on loop. See? What batch script do YOU have?"

The IT teachers: can you show us how a payload works?

I fucking hate holidays. Every goddamn time when it's a holiday, that's when I need to go to the store and get something, only to find out that they're closed. And what for.. holidays are - to me at least - no more than an excuse for people to not go to work for the day.

So, now I ran out of booze, and can't continue developing and testing my breathalyzer until Monday.

Then it hit me.. what if I take all my Arduino equipment (laptop, jumper wires, ...) to the café and deploy my build environment on a table there?

Eh, no no no. I don't want some idiot to come up to me saying "YOU EVIL HEKORMAN!!!" and have to explain that just like when you call a banker who's working with the money vaults a thief, it's wrong to call someone that's developing shit an evil hacker.. one should strive to not throw mindless accusations out of unknowingness. Not that I'm a good example of that though. But still.

It's probably that or some stupid bitch coming up to me asking to hack her boyfriend's Phasebuk.. that said, that could probably be an opportunity to get in her pants. But then, I don't wanna insert my meat in an idiot like that... ._.

So, no booze it is then? Thanks national holidays!

"Ok Google, remind me every day before a holiday because I really couldn't care less about them!!"

Nothing like waking up to racist messages from a client that isn't even under contract yet, guess who's getting flagged and muted.

"Dont jump. The bug has been fixed!"
(Plot twist: I'm actually that guy who's gonna jump) lmao

Whats yours?

<lifeRant> My two year old daughter gets a sticker for going "poo-poo on the potty".... Meanwhile I'm stalking my one rant that is close to getting me a squishy ball! Who's really making progress in their life, me or her? </lifeRant>

B - Ok guys, here we are to decide who's gonna do what.
What part of the app needs to be developed
P1 - The UX
P2 - The Statistics
P3 - The calls to the server
Me - The flow of work

B - Uhm, right, well scratch that, I'm gonna need you to make a website for a costumer.

Me - But this app is due to the next two weeks!!

B - I'm sure you'll manage.

Rant: THAT FUCKING CREATIVE AGENCY, THAT USES A FUCKING HOSTING PROVIDER, THAT DOESN'T OFFER SSH! GUESS WHO'S CURRENTLY UPLOADING 4000 FILES? BEST OF ALL EVERY 200-ISCH FILES THE CONNECTION GET'S REFUSED, TELLING, THERE ARE TO MANY REQUESTS (FileZilla is set to max 2 simultanious uploads, still the same)

FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK OF A CRAPPY DEPLOYMENT PROCESS.

!dev

TLDR; younger brother is an unreliable fuck. Learning to be a pathetic trickster. Penny teller cheap ass jester.

Hello folks. Time for a little family story.

This started around mid June.
I was a little tight on money the past few months. I had a broken laptop, that my brother wanted to buy. So I told him that he can have it for 100 bucks. It was a 1k gaming laptop 2 years ago, (i7, gtx 960m, 16gb ddr4). But I didn't know how much it would cost to repair. So I was happy with the price and so was him.

He told me he would pay by the end of June.

Hi didn't pay. He repaired the laptop for free by asking his boss, that used to be my friend (I'll probably tell you guys about that in another rant, best friend, got in a fight, stopped talking, next day my brother asked him for a job).

A month later, mid July, I told him I needed the money.

He literally said:

"I don't care for what you need. I'll pay you when I think it is a relevant expense, now I have money only for buying tools and investing in my career".

He was buying 15 usd pens (not only 1), because he wants to have expensive crap.

That was a bit disgusting, but not shocking. (I'm used to his little brat attitude, he's 26 btw).

I thought to myself. Ok, you want to be a bitch?. Then pay more.

I told him that he appreciated a good that wasn't his and that he should either pay now or agree to a new price. He didn't like that idea, but eventually we agreed to make it 300usd.

And one of the clauses was.

"I shouldn't ask him to pay." 🙄

He would pay when he could. (entitled brat attitude again). Ok. Fine.

It's been a month from that. He teased that he would pay 3 weeks ago. And he didn't. I asked him how was the "not asking for payment clause", because he did the teasing and I wanted to know if that kind of shitty mind games was part of the deal.

So that's the background story for the laptop.

Now time for a dinner story.

We share dinner once or twice a week. And when any one is short in money we keep a tally on who's been paying.

When I have money I just let the tally go in my favor, an buy him dinner whenever he says his short on money.

Note: Here, fries and soda are not part of the price, so the one that is short on money pays the fries and soda.

Today it was not one of those days. (Dinner here is about 15 USD for 2, with fries, and soda, nothing fancy, nor healthy, but an exuse to hang out with my only brother that would not eat a salad even if it was free).

I owed him 10 bucks, and he owed me 1 dinner. I asked him if he's buying dinner today. He said that the tally is even because last meal I didn't pay the chips. 🧐. (That was settled because I didn't pay once, but made up for it later)

Again with his entitled ass shitty attitude.

I just said. I don't want to hear your excuses. Here's your money. I want my laptop tomorrow, I'll sell first thing Monday. And tell me how much did you spend on repairs and parts and I'll pay you.

And now I'm sad. 🙃

Mainly, because is just so fucking boring to deal with a person that counts every penny. I fed him for 10 year while he was having problems, (alcohol and depression), And now he comes with this shitty ass counting pennies attitude, wtf?

I literally felt poorer just by counting the cents that made part of this story. (Really, who the fucks keeps track of chips and soda??? What are we 15yo??)))

It's one thing to be trapped in a 3rd world country where everyone is trying to fuck you. You learn to deal with that shit. And it's ok.

But seeing that your little brother is learning the same cheap trickery is just sad. The same cheap approach to life. The same easy and pathetic mind games is just fucking sad.

I don't even mind the money anymore. I was short on cash 2 months ago, I'm gladly better now. But finding out that he's becoming a little scammer is a bummer.

I just needed to vent. I think I should stop enabling him. And maybe keep some distance, it is fucking depressing to be counting cents to settle an argument. By dealing with that fucktard I end up counting cents just to figure out who's right.

That guy at the office who's constantly and vocally upset he hasn't gotten into Bitcoin a long time ago.

That fucking guy.

It was my internship and I've end up working on a law company specializing on Australian construction laws they're working on a website that will take care of all the paperworks for the contractors. They have a dev team who's working on it but they don't have a web designer. I was accepted for the job as an intern/web designer/tester. I was so happy that I've got a really cool internship as a designer but that's only for a second.

The hell starts on day one. They've told me that they're using agile workflow and that they need to make the website responsive. It was based on bootstrap and gosh their code was so broken. HTML tags overlay on each other, some are unclosed. I've tried to fix the problems and did a great job at that. Made the front page responsive and all laid out. When I went to the next php file it has a different header.php and footer.php and same problems apply and we're not even touching the worst.

They didn't use any version management and they're cowboying everything. Now that the website is on the staging server they use Cpanel text editor to edit the code! My headache started to pileup.

The Australian client asked me to provide icons and fix the colors of the website. Also the typography looks great already. I've fixed almost all the problems and I'm satisfied with the design when suddenly a new co-worker from a famous and expensive college was absorbed by the company. He worked as the marketing specialist who has no experience at web design at all. He told me to do this and that and the whole website changed. He bullied me for my skills in design (I'm an intern) and just took over the whole design. Everyone even the boss listen to him as if everything he say is right. He's skilled at design but not web design. He made the website look like a freakin movie poster.

All my works are for nothing, I got headache for nothing and I've got hated for nothing.

It was the day when I finished my internship. It was a long 3 months. After a month I've heard from my co-interns that the whole dev team was fired including the marketing specialist. Also the whole website is scrapped and has been rebuilt by a single guy who used WordPress which he did in only a month.

I hate working with egoistic noobshit hotshot "developers". But sadly, they tend to get ahead because they talk like they know everything in front of tech idiot management.

***

management: I need this swanky feature X in our product within the month.

me: That literally requires a huge refactor because our current codebase was never meant to support this type of service. We need to think about this.

noobshit: I disagree. This is easy. We're already doing something similar that is Z, this shouldn't take very long.

me: Z seems similar, but it actually quite different.

me (in my head): ... and you would know it's *completely* different if you fucking understood our own codebase vs what X needs you moron.

noobshit: Nah, it's similar. We can accomplish X if we polish up Z a bit.

*** 1 week later ***

noobshit: Omg X is horrifying and complex. We can't do it without a huge refactor.

me: yes

me (in my head): Fuck you

***

But guess who's got better career prospects because they're all shiny and positive in front of management?

Best girl i've met.

I attended a CMS Conference last month(I don't use a CMS, i'm just interested with the topics about DevOps and UI/UX). I met this pretty lady ( I find her cute and awesome.) who's one of the speaker, she talked about design principles and applying it to BEM with SASS. After the talk, i asked her some questions about her dev't workflow like what tools she used and some best practices. Our conversation went well and exchange some of our knowledge and ideas also i introduced her to devrant (She's a wordpress user, i showed to her how the community hates WP, idk if she registered). After her talked we separated ways and ended seeing again after the conference as she's looking for a cab going to a mall (Same directions where i'm heading to), We talked again and decided to have dinner together. I felt like she's the best girl i met as she's into TV shows i like (Silicon Valley and Mr Robot). We added ourselves in FB and saying goodbye to each other. After a week or two, i just found out that she already into a relationship and it broke my heart.

I guess im back to the start, but i'm happy that i made a new friend.

YouTube, why the fuck do you put ads at the end of the video? Who's gonna watch those?! I'm not a marketer but I do know that people watch ads in expectation of something better. Who.. who the fuck thought this would be a good idea?! Fire that certified piece of shit marketing cunt already! What the fuck is even wrong with you nowadays Google?! Pinnacle of tech company my ass.

Ok fellow ranters. I've scoured the internet for hilarious and enraging stories of programmers being asked to either work for free, or for stock options, or to hack (crack) stuff, etc.

Here's my latest one. A friend who's obsessed with crypto came up with a "great" idea which was for me (of course) to build a landing page for a fake company to trick people into submitting their crypto wallet keys and all that. What started as a joke quickly turned into my friend getting mad at me for not wanting to actually make it lol. Like seriously wtf is with people. All the reasons not to do that scheme are plainly obvious!

Next. Some person who worked for a company I consult with pulled the generic. "I have this great app idea" line & proceeded to of course ask me to "not steal it" lol. It was just an app that would list gluten free restaurants... That's hardly even an idea!!

But what's fucked up about all this is my friend from the first story is so obsessed with becoming a "crypto millionaire" he actually resents me now for not
1. being obsessed with crypto
2. not committing cybercrime on his behalf

Anybody else have enraging stories about stuff people have asked you to do?

Soo I am the only tech-guy in my family and it's a bit like:

Other: You do program?
Me: yes?
Other: pls repair my printer!

And you guys know how awful that is, aren't you? But in my family it gets tougher...

Today my older sister asked me how to save data from a broken HDD. I said I know a guy who's doing forensic on HDDs and he could make that.

She's like: "but a friend of mine said it could be done easier with software"

And yes, it is! But not that successful...

Now's the point she killed me instantly!
She said: "he opened the HDD and said the disks look fine they could be easily added to a new HDD"....

WHAT THE ACUTAL FUCK I SAID NOW YOUR DRIVE IS BROKEN FOREVER! AND THEN SHE INSULTED ME AND BLOCKED ME ON FUCKING WHATSAPP! SHE IS LEARNING WEBDESIGN WHY THE FUCK DON'T TEACH HER THE BASICS OF FUCKING COMPUTERS! Oh for fuck sakes....

One of my clients (who's also a developer) asked me today "Are you on devrant?"
Me: "What's that😑?"

Am I the only one who's slightly annoyed that the first lesson in the Swift Playground app is not a "Hello World" program?

Why is it that an issue is only critical-priority until the person who's raising the biggest fuss has to do something about it?

I was notified that a website hosted in AWS went down overnight and never came back up. I was then bombarded with email after email after email while I logged into our AWS account and poked around. I'm responsible for cloud infrastructure stuff, like VMs or virtual networking or security or whatever, not the actual applications running on said infrastructure. Once I confirmed their EC2 instance was reachable and I could login with SSH, I told them they'd have to fix their application.

They told me that they had no backend developer on their development team. I'm still getting a deluge of emails from multiple people on this team and their managers and managers' managers and so on.

"Perfectly understandable," I told them, though it was anything but. "You should probably look into obtaining one."

The emails stopped immediately. I assumed they were handling it and closed my ticket and moved on. But apparently I was wrong.

Six weeks later, the site is still down, they still have no backend dev, and I'm convinced that they were lying to me when they stressed the importance of this web app because now that it's no longer my problem, not a single person seems to care that it's still broken.

Am I the only one who's sick of seing "new revolutionary language" from google & co that solves absolutely nothing but is becoming trendy because of the company's name?

Who's got time to be an imposter. 🤷‍♂️

I am out of my depth 90% of the time, always diving into areas that are foreign to me, you just need to enjoy the buzz of knowing you are coming out the other side more knowledgeable then you did going in.

But if you do get overwhelmed with this condition, step back, take a breather, and use that moment to think things through at the big picture level before moving forward again, sometimes the right solution is hard to think off when you're to focused and drowning your way through a bad one.

I work in big data and security analytics... So naturally I am a very detail oriented and analytical person.... Something that I constantly get told off about for 'over analysing' every personal situation.... Especially by my wife!

Today she was chatting to our best friend on WhatsApp who's been travelling Europe for 6 months seeing how life is etc... At the end of the conversation I point out he never once told her where he was and avoided the questions.... And that I was sure he was gonna turn up tonight....

She tells me I'm over analysing and full of it as she's in Spain.... Not even an hour later he walked through our front door and we are in the pub having an awesome catch up!

Who said I'm over analytical! More like right!?

Am I the only one who's noticed that recently ever innovation out there would appear to be along the following lines "We/'ve added our product to the Internet of Things and have integrated Machine Learning to improve our product, why? Well for literally absolutely no fucking reason, it/'s a toilet brush"

I was struggling with a task on a project and decided to call the colleague, who's working on this project as well (he built it, I am just on-boarding) to get some advice.

Literally the first thing he asked me was: "have you seen whom this task is assigned to?"

Fuck! So I spent about 1.5 hours on not finishing a task that I shouldn't have worked on in the first place. Great.

So I have this 13 year old cousin who's pretty determined to follow my footsteps as a developer someday. He really likes gaming and all internet stuffs. His future plans makes me happy since I may finally have a relative that is a developer. But darn it! He's kinda weird coz he still throws tanrums. One of his major tantrums(which happened again last night) is that he wants the wireless Karaoke machine to be turned off because he thinks that it's slowing down the internet. It was his sister's birthday party and the guests are partying. I've told him many times that the signal for the karaoke is different from that of the router which has nothing to do with the internet slowing down. It must be caused by q device that is updating some apps or whatever. We live in the philippines and our internet provider is quite fast but it has this stupid fair usage policy that caps our bandwidth to a minimum speed if we reach a certain amount of data usage. Since he goes to youtube everyday in 480 and 720p, I explained it to him that it was one of the causes.
Last night, I almost got triggered because I wanted him to believe about the wifi being different to that of the karaoke machine's radio and that it is not connected to the wifi and not using data. I also told him about different kinds of wireless signals which I studied as a Software Engineering student back then and yet he still doesnt believe me. And what almost triggered me is that i saw his steam client updating while watching youtube. I told him that was it. But instead of agreeing, he refused to believe me and just told me that steam is just updating and he's not downloading anything which made me think why he keeps going to youtube, because...he's not downloading. Oh God! Good luck to this kid. 😂

Me: *browsing devRant*
Friend who's on every Social Media paltform: what's that?
Me: devRant
Friend: *taking out phone* I need to join
Me: its for developers
Friend: *putting back phone in pocket* Ooh
Me: *grinning wildy in my sweet little heart* *yes you piece of shit. This one's not for you*

It feels good to have a corner thats not for everyone

>be my team
>developing a mobile app
>I'm responsible for developing a "RESTful" API to interface communications between the app and the database
>there's also an "admin" web application which the client themselves will use to manage some shit in the database
>I've developed the API, it works with the mobile app
>instead of just making it simply a front-end app that makes requests to the API like the mobile app does, the guy responsible for the admin app completely ignores my API and implements his own with a certain messy dollar symbol language and a certain bloated piece of server software, accessing the same database directly, and does some operations in his own special way that will break what I've implemented
>now data inserted via admin app is inaccessible to the server API, and I'm expected to "fix" my code so it's consistent with this guy's shit, but the only way to do it is introducing interdependency between the actual API and the admin app's back end

Fuck my life, now I'm the one responsible for the app being broken because no way the guy who's used to kludging unmaintainable shit together fast would ever fuck anything up

A guy who's parked next to me in the RV asked me today if I know anything about computers. Sure, what's it about?

He has forgotten his password for a Word .doc file, already installed all possible tools for password cracking, but none of them worked, and now
he can't find his vacation photos and surfing the internet suddenly doesn't work anymore.

Okay, no problem, I'll take a look at it. Windows 7 Home Edition, completely covered with malware, everywhere popups with pr0n ads.

I told him that I can't do much more than trying to recover the data and reinstall the OS. But before that, I'll make a image of the hard drive (thank god, only a 250 GB hdd). Then we'll see.

Unfortunately neither he nor I have a Windows DVD, so he will probably become a proud user of Antergos tomorrow.

"We offer competitive salaries!"

Competitive as compared to what? The bottom 10% of salaries in this field? The top 10%?

I could say that I'm a competitive chess player when I'm competing against somebody who's never played chess before.

This was some time ago. A Legendary bug appeared. It worked in the dev environment, but not in the test and production environment.

It had been a week since I was working on the issue. I couldn't pinpoint the problem. We CANNOT change the code that was already there, so we needed to override the code that was written. As I was going at it, something happened.

---
Manager: "Hey, it's working now. What did you do?"
Me: *Very confused because I know I was nowhere close to finding the real source of the problem* Oh, it is? Let me check.
Also me: *Goes and check on the test and prod environment and indeed, it's already working*
Also me to the power of three: *Contemplates on life, the meaning of it, of why I am here, who's going to throw out the trash later, asking myself whether my buddies and I will be drinking tonight, only to realize that I am still on the phone with my manager*
Me again: "Oh wow, it's working."
Manager: "Great job. What were the changes in the code?"
Me: "All I did was put console logs and pushed the changes to test and prod if they were producing the same log results."
Manager: "So there were no changes whatsoever, is that what you mean?"
Me: "Yep. I've no idea why it just suddenly worked."
Manager: "Well, as long as it's working! Just remove those logs and deploy them again to the test and prod environment and add 'Test and prod fix' to the commit comment."
Me: "But what if the problem comes up again? I mean technically we haven't resolved the issue. The only change I made were like 20 lines of console logs! "
Manager: "It's working, isn't it? If it becomes a problem, we'll work it out later."
---

I did as I was told, and Lo and Behold, the problem never occurred again.

Was the system playing a joke on me? The system probably felt sorry for me and thought, "Look at this poor fucker, having such a hard time on a problem he can't even comprehend. That idiotic programmer had so many sleepless nights and yet still couldn't find the solution. Guess I gotta do my job and fix it for him. I'm the only one doing the work around here. Pathetic Homo sapiens!"

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that it's over but..

What the fuck happened?

Helping a friend who's a brilliant at mechanics and has his own patents, and got this question when downloading on his 10Mbit line:
"This was supposed to be a fast computer, so why is it taking so long to download?"

To explain the reason was surprisingly hard, considering that this is a guy who's been invited to give a lecture about innovation at a top tech university.

School's windows installations had the UAC set to lowest.
Anyone could install malware or fiddle with important settings.

Oh by the way, the same school who's gData found it funny to go through my USB drive and delete all executables and all my code because it was "possibly malicious".

Started installing random crap and messing with people in retaliation.
Was fun.
Until I got caught.
Good thing I compiled a list of security flaws earlier on.

From that day on, everytime I messed up, I sold them two security vulnerabilites to let me off the hook.
These included access to all kinds of drives in the windows network, accessing other PCs desktop, literally uninstalling random printers from the network etc..

Fun time.

Hey guys, you won't believe what happaned to me, I left my laptop open in a hacker coffee shop and went to take a piss, and when I returned I fou d out that someone stole all my crypto CockRingCoin 😭😭 I lost a million and a half Shekels but then remembered my brother has a cousin who knows a lawyer who's wife is a friend with a wolf who knows a real matrix hacker who can hack CIA using only his toes, I contacted him and you wouldn't believe it but he got all of my cock coins back to me, I don't know what I would've done without him. If anybody needs help recovering crypto I can more than reccomend my dear holy saviour LeHackerCockSucker
WhatsApp: +972-50-EATMYASS-0
Email: ciahacker@cock.gov

But then as I was happily looking at my crypto returned I notice a few payments I don't rwmember making, turns out, my wife was cheating on me! And using my crypto to buy her lover stuff!
So I contacted the afformentioned lawyer who's a friend of the cousin that my brother has, and he helped me file for divorce and punish my cheating wife, for anybody needing a marriage lawyer:
WhatsApp: +972-54-DeliciousPussy-6
Email: eatmypussy@lawyers.porn

I am now happily married with the wolf who's the friend of the lawyer's wife and he fucks me in the ass every night. If you want a good life like mine you know who to call.

So I'm on vacation right now to visit family. I received an email from the head of department that, due to our department getting 7 new hires in one day, the seating arrangement has been changed.

My new seat is next to this one developer who's old enough to be my dad. He's a very nice guy and all, but the problem is he burps ALL. THE. TIME. I've never met anybody more gassy. His burps don't stink, thank God, but they're loud enough that it's seriously jarring.

You know how us devs can be completely in the zone until some marketing dickbag taps you on the shoulder and asks you to check your email or help with something that is absolutely not your job and you completely lose all focus and have to start over? Its exactly like that, except it happens every 10 minutes.

Another thing is, my back is now facing away from the wall, towards the rest of the office. The nearest section to mine is management. That means that anybody, including the CEO, can walk up right behind me and see what I'm doing at all times.

I really hate that. Id much rather be next to the wall to have some sort of privacy. Somehow sitting next to burpy guy is still the thing I'm most annoyed about though.

I tried to ask for a different seat, but my manager effectively said that I have no choice but to sit there because that guy is part of my team, and teammates should sit together. He forgot about the fact that, while the work him and I do is indeed related, I've been working on a solo project for the past few months and I don't need to be next to anybody in particular because I'm the only one working on this thing. Theoretically, I could sit in the toilet with my laptop and get my work done just fine. Maybe when I talk to him face to face in the office I can convince him to have some mercy on me.

The bright side is I'm very excited about meeting those 7 new hires I mentioned. They seem to be smart, capable people so I look forward to working with them and learning from them. Every cloud has a silver lining. 😊

A lot of online games (mainstream) tend to make me kind of angry or stressed. Lots of either blatantly stupid or negative players kill the fun.

A few days ago I've startet to see videos about "Among Us". It's on a big hype right now and their machmaking servers must be glowing.
Well, this game is fucking awesome and it makes me really happy! 😊
Nothing beats a 30 minute game of lying, betrayal, teamwork and good old 30'000 IQ big-brain detective work.
I think it's a great execise for remembering stuff.
You remember colors, who's said what and who faked or did which task. And the hardest part is, even if you fucking saw the killer, you have to present the facts in a way that people believe you.
Each round is unique and full of riddles.

Yeah, I just wanted to say: Fucking great game 😄

This is my first rant here, so I hope everyone has a good time reading it.

So, the company I am working for got me going on the task to do a rewrite of a firmware that was extended for about 20 years now. Which is fine, since all new machines will be on a new platform anyways. (The old firmware was written for an 8051 initially. That thing has 256 byte of ram. Just imagine the usage of unions and bitfields...)

So, me and a few colleagues go ahead and start from scratch.
In the meantime however, the client has hired one single lonely developer. Keep in mind that nobody there understands code!
And oh boy did he go nuts on the old code, only for having it used on the very last machine of the old platform, ever! Everything after that one will have our firmware!

There are other machines in that series, using the original extended firmware. Nothing is compatible, bootloaders do not match, memory layouts do not match, code is a horrible mess now, the client is writing the specification RIGHT NOW (mind, the machine is already sold to customers), there are no tests, and for the grand finale, the guy canceled his job and went to a different company. Did I mention the bugs it has and the features it lacks?

Guess who's got to maintain that single abomination of a firmware now?

this was about office politics. for context, a lot of non tech people think they can borrow our time willy nilly and our boss agrees, so we're often pulled out of our tasks to do random shit.

these girls asked for my consultation on a simple problem, because another team wasn't fixing an issue for them and they said it wasn't possible. i said it was possible and simple to solve, i spoke to the other team, showed them how to do it and thought that was done. they kept asking me to produce proof that it was possible, excessively, like i had nothing to do.

that went on for a week, lots of back and forth, i was getting tired, so i told this girl fine, I'll do this stupid thing IF you send me an email making this a formal exchange, she says fine. the next day i find out they went after another guy in my team, who's much busier than i, and he stopped everything to coddle them.

i told him to be careful about that stuff, because he's setting himself up for this shit, he's making the rest of the team look bad and he's stopping his work to do something that was already done, because they couldn't bother to send an email. had a huge discussion about this, he was super condescending and overall, he was an asshole.

next time, I'll just send the girls his way

Who the fuck uses http code 200 for a failure. Seriously have you ever heard something about a need to parse the shit you're returning...

Now I don't know whether it's me who's wrong, but man there are more than 80 different codes defined so there really should be something for you, don't you think?

And don't give me shit like "well the request worked so we return 200 it's only that the request wasn't correct". What for a fucking peace of something are you... Those codes are for that exact reason.

Anyways I'm going to parse the shit with string compare and afterwards kill myself out of shame. Whish me luck...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Okay, I'm feeling a bit better now.
How to stop being a lil bitch? Why does it seem like everyone got the "don't give a shit" patch except me? I'm working hard on getting my shit together, I've made MASSIVE progress, but everytime I'm feeling good and confident and ready to take the world head-on, I just kinda crumble again with the slightest mishap. This needs to stop. I'm really trying SO hard not to snap. Fucking hell, being aware of all this makes it even worse! It's like I'm two people, one is a downer and REALLY good in draining my brain power, the other is the guy who's typing this and knows that life shouldn't be taken this seriously, but doesn't stay in the cockpit for too long. I'm extremely tired and mad. I just fucking hate this.

Am I the only one who's getting more and more aggrevated about how the large youtube channels misinform and make out VPN providers (I am looking at you, Nord VPN, mostly) as the messiahs of the internet? How they protect our data that would otherwise be in incredible "danger" otherwise?

I understand they need clients, and I know most of the YT channels probably do not know better, but... This is misinformation at best, and downright false advertising at the worst...

"But HTTP-only websites still exist!" - yes, but unlike the era before Lets Encrypt, they are a minority. Most of the important webpages are encrypted.

"Someone could MITM their connection and present a fake certificate!" - And have a huge, red warning about the connection being dangerous. If at that point, the user ignores it, I say its their fault.

Seriously... I don't know if Nord gives their partners a script or not... But... I am getting super sick of them. And is the main reason why I made my own VPN at home...

Have u ever had the perfect job opportunity and u screwed up? This idiot just did!! 😓😭 It's a 100% remote c# role. I literally had the job, all I needed to to was be patient and wait. But, noooooo I had to go and turn down the offer because it was "taking to long". He was getting the proposal ready and I was growing impatient. It's been almost a month since I started talking to the CTO and we were/are on the same level of understanding. He told me today just hours after I consulted with someone who's a business owner and he helped me write an apology to him. Man do I feel like an idiot. He didn't ask for a resume or references. Just seen my GitHub and a few game I did and let me talk to the lead Dev and I was in. The lead Dev even told me "welcome aboard, can't wait to work with you." AND I still screwed this op up!! Now he's telling me he will talk to the CEO and see what he says cause it maybe out of his hands.😞😞😞😞😞😭😭😭😓😓😓 What fool I am, eh??? P.S. which makes it even worst is that he reached out to me via LinkedIn without me sending him my resume or applying for any job that had posted.

!dev && rant

There's one thing that you really shouldn't say to someone who's in crutches, no matter how much your reflexes tell you to. "Are you okay?"
Especially when they're going somewhere, and you can't or don't want to help them do so.

Imagine for a second, you yourself are in crutches and have been limping on one leg for a couple 100 meters to go to where you have to, shopping for food so you don't starve. And then, after those couple hundreds of meters, of course that leg that's been doing double duty for that whole period and took unusually big impacts from jumping up and down onto the ground compared to just walking, you can imagine that it is screaming in agony.

Now imagine someone who comes your way, makes the leg that more than anything wants to sit down somewhere and rest, pause the act of going the way to the beloved place to sit and rest and instead make it take even longer, that person asks you "are you okay?"

OF COURSE I'M OKAY, THAT'S WHY I'M IN FUCKING CRUTCHES!! OF COURSE I'M OKAY, GREAT OBSERVATION SHERLOCK!!!

It's like saying to someone who's so introvert that they haven't opened their mouth even once at a party - likely there because their friends forced them to - "gee, you are silent, aren't you?"

Yes I'm silent, yes I'm introvert!! Why do you point that out? If anything, pretend that I'm not here to begin with!!! Stating that only makes for embarrassment!

Or going back to the leg thing.. this ground my gears more than anything. Every few dozen meters I went and rested on my crutches for a bit, and every hundred or so meters I sat down at whatever I could sit on. And people fucking look judgmentally at you for that apparently. "Look at this guy in crutches, he's sitting down!"

Yeah mate, try limping on one leg for a couple hundred meters and I'll run after you with a whip, looking at you judgmentally every time you even want to *think* about sitting down to rest. Let's see how that goes?

Or rather you fucking judgmental twat, I bet you fat fucking cunt can't even run on 2 legs for a couple hundred meters straight. But let's judge others who are doing such a running exercise for every step they take for wanting to sit and rest, shall we?

No wonder that there's mass shootings every now and then. Such people can make anyone feel fucking murderous!!!

One of my clients (who's also a coder) asked me today
"Are you on devRant?"
Me: 😶 What's that? 😓

So I had a guy in my team, all day shouted "shitty code this, shitty code that"...
Today I had to fix some things, seen some really crappy code, said to myself "I've got to check who's the author of this beauty"... It was him... How the fuck can you shout shitty code on other peoples work when yours ain't better?!?

I hate people who dog on wsl

Windows subsystem Linux

I use it. It has been wonderful. No problems that Google couldn't fix. Always a patch or an update.

And I can use Windows just fine.

No dual boot needed, no bullshit wine needed, no having to do without Photoshop

There,.. I'm out of the closet

My uncle showed me how to use it ok mom and dad

I'm starting a wsl parade who's in

Am I the only one that down votes reviews for an app just because the review is from someone who's incompetent?

For example: major new release, so of course there's going to be bugs. Person 1 stars and bitches about how great the old version was.

Like ok you incompetent fuck, that's not at all how this shit works.

When you're a bored college student tired of hearing your boss complain about making the schedule every week so you code a program that sorts each employee into their job categories, stores the days they aren't allowed to work (due to other jobs and or class schedules), the time of day they can't work and any days requested off. Then analyzes who's available for each shift throughout the week alongside categorizing each day of the week by the amount of employees needed and prints a perfect schedule for her to use that week

Helped a friend who's currently learning programming in Java
Looked at the slides used to teach them and apparently the teacher explains the "static" keyword as "can be accessed from any function of the class"... Which... Isn't at all what static does
At that point they hadn't started with actual OOP stuff, so I kind of get why they didn't explain what it really does, but why the fuck did they just put down a completely wrong definition?! Instead of just saying "yeah you'll just need that keyword for now, I'll explain it later"

types of programmers on social media from my school

#1: that bitch with a mac who barely knows enough python to write a keylogger or web scraper and implies they could make full on applications

#2: that other bitch who has windows and learned a little bit of html and flexes screenshots of their website

#3: the one who runs a club and promotes it on social media, they know java and run windows

#4: the knowledgeable, friendly linux user who's got a bomb ass personal website or plain as to their liking, and retweets cool news on twitter

#4 is the best.

*knock knock*

Race condition!

Who's there ?

And thaaaat's the lesson i learned today after I spent two hours staring at code, to find out that the solution was just moving an unlock_mutex() a few lines down.

Got another one of them phone-scammers who's trying to trick me into installing remoting software on my machine.

I actually do wanna see what they do to your machine once they're in. I have an old XP image in VirtualBox that I can clone. I'll probably let 'em play around with that just to see.

Is there's an "edit history" feature in DevRant. Some comments makes no sense after a post is edited.

I'm thinking of posting "Arch Linux and Firefox for the win. Who's with me?"

Then, when I have some comments, I'll switch it to "Windows 8 and IE for the win. Who's with me?"

That could ruin a lot of lives.

So this one day I'm at work and the manager peaks into my office and just says "can you check that platform X is building, pretty much done just a basic bug check" (this bloke had negative 1 technical experience)

I'm not sure what he means, the whole thing is built in Java and I know nothing about that...

I log in the platform on dev server, sure enough it seems to work, charts are drawn, no errors, then I try to log out; this button does nothing...

I don't bother telling the manager, I just go to the dev who's a friend of mine and tell him about it.

A week later, manager jumps in the room all excited "we're launching this product tomorrow, mind checking again?"

Sure, I log in, ... There's no log out button, it's gone... I ask the dev.

"Yeah I fixed it, it's gone now!"

I'm thinking of buying a Samsung Galaxy S7 as a replacement to my Nexus 6P.. from what I can tell, it ticks all the boxes.. nice battery (3000mAh), 5GHz Wi-Fi, octacore CPU, kernel source being available, QHD display... However, it being sold at €350 - and that only in the Netherlands - does introduce quite some hurdles. For anyone who's owned this device, how long did you own this device and did any issues show up, especially hardware-related ones? Last time I owned a Samsung device was with a Galaxy S3 Mini, which was a delight to use. Other than that I don't really have any experience with it.

Another thing that piqued my curiosity - I still have 3 Raspberry Pi's unused, as well as one LCD display (but without touch). It got me thinking, the only things that I really use my phones for on the go is for calling, texting and listening to music via Bluetooth. Perhaps a Raspberry Pi or even an Arduino could take care of that? The smart devices that I'd consume and produce most content on are my tablet and my PC anyway.

Just came out of an internship interview with the CEO of the company, who's a computer graduate apart from being an MBA guy.

Few things bother me as to whether to join them or not?

1. He's scared of GIT.
-He's asked me not to use git because that will make the code public.

2. He's asked me not to use bootstrap.
-He's afraid it'll be a copyright violation.

3. Asked me to develop ERP/CRM for the company.
- I'll be the sole developer on the thing, developing a whole CRM with Project Management System. And the internship is "almost" unpaid. Almost because, they are willing to pay an amount equal to what I spend on my monthly caffeine drinks.

I'm in a rut whether to join this company or not, as this is don't see any learning here (being the sole developer). I'll be doing what I've been doing for years (develope a Web app) but for a fraction of what I get from freelancing.

But, I'd love a internship certificate to show at the campus placements later this year.

Help!

Funny story:

We were going through Sprint Planning on Monday. We got through all of the tasks that we knew we had to get done, then we started going through the backlog to see what we could pull forward.

The guy running the meeting (who's not actually a Scrum master, but whatever) get's to a task, reads it aloud, and goes, "That doesn't ring any bells. Brian, it's in your name, it says it's from May, do you know what the status of this is?

Brian reads through it for about 20 seconds before saying, "That date says it's from 2017. I don't think we need it anymore."

Who's the dumbass that decided you can't delete your PayPal account at all unless your balance is $0?

I am not giving you my card information for the $0.18 balance I have. For God sakes, I don't even bend over to pick that up if I see it on the ground.

It's one thing if it were like $100 or even $10. But it's eighteen fucking cents. Not even a a quarter of a fucking dollar.

At least make me put in my password and answer a security question or some shit, not straight up remove the option to delete it.

Fucking ridiculous.

In the land of Kangaroos you can claim education expenses directly related to your profession on your tax return. I am developing a plug-in for X-Plane. Do you guys think I can claim costs of my flying school as "education to better understand flight characteristics so that my plug-in works better"?

For anyone who's interested, I'm building a six pack using round LCD displays and an Arduino

When the guy with his master's who's job you were told you weren't qualified for performed the following all in one query:
1. A massive many to many join on a 4 million row table.....to itself on in inner query through a linked server.
2. Decides to try and join this massive inner query (see step 1) to another table on a second many to many join.
3. Writes a function for month. Yes instead of month(literallyadate)

Then this guy emails me to ask if I can optimize it because we yelled at him for trying to insert 216 GB of data into a table (again on a massive many to many joined disaster). We told him if a query was taking more than 40 minutes we needed to see it.

I regret saying that now...should have just bought more space ;)

Stop whining for fucks sake.

I'd rather listen to high pitched coil whine than enduring this frigging shit.

If it doesn't work - fix it.

If you're to dumb - fix yourself.

I've told you motherfucking gazillion times that your bitching is absolute waste of time you inbred relict of an homo erectus.

I wanna gag a certain someone with duct tape who's annoying since weeks... And send him in a package to a nice russian Gulag some where in sibiria

:@

Shit guys, I cannot even begin to tell you about how tired I am at seeing gifs at every single.fucking frontend article. I cannot enter a single Medium/Dev.to without it being plastered in the most random fucking gifs you have ever seen.

Its bad enough that your average Medium/Dev.to is as shallow as the little puddle you spill on the floor after watering your cactus. With the added gifs, it just sucks so bad. I mean, who's fucking idea was it to plaster reading material with distracting content anyway? I wanna hunt them down and shove something right up their arses.

Back in uni when I started dabbing into frontend, my feeble brain thought it was quite refreshing after peering over java docs every day. Nowadays though, I cannot even manage to read these mostly shitty arse articles without wishing I was dead.

Also, I wonder if this is also the case for the java, .net, python, rust community?

Two months ago I started working at a new company, who's system is a huge monolith. The company is a bit over one year old, and the code base is huge. The desire to move to more of a microservices architecture is on the radar, but one of the biggest issues in moving towards it is how we should keep our models. The stack is basically Node.js and Mongoose, where there's about a few dozen mongoose models that the whole system uses, and the issue is that, if we moved to a microservices architecture, how could we keep the models in sync. One idea I had was to keep the models in a separate (node) package that would be shared across all microservices, but then there's the issue that if one model needs changes, all microservices that use that model will need to be updated. Another idea we had was to not share models, but instead let every microservice be in charge of everything to do with a certain type of data (eg. Users are only directly accessed by one microservice, companies by another, and no two microservices share responsibility over data), but that might bring problems when one microservice depends on a certain set of data from another microservice. How do you guys manage all that? Any ideas or tips? Thanks ^^

>uni project
>6 people in group
>3 devs (including me)
I am in charge of electronics and software to control it as well as the application that will use them.

2 other "devs" in charge of a simple website.
Literally, static pages, a login/registration, and a dump of data when users are logged in.

Took on writing the api for the data as well, since I didn't fully trust the other 2.

Finished api, soldered all electronics, 3d printed models.

Check on the website.

Ugly af, badly written html and css.
No function working yet.

Project is due next week Thursday.

Guess who's not having a weekend and gonna be pulling 2 all nighters

Just now... Got a job to create patch files for a couple of jars, which may or may not have varying class files. In total, I have to decompile, check, add and synchronize about 30 class files in 6 jars with a new functionality (that I didn't write). 🙂

FUCK PRODUCTION! WHY CANT YOU MAINTAIN ONE MOTHERFUCKING JAR?

OH? YOU'RE SUPERSTITIOUS THAT ONE TINY, ANT-SHIT SIZED CHANGE IN ONE SIMPLE FUNCTIONALITY WILL FUCK UP *OUR* PRODUCT?

FUCK MANAGEMENT! YOU DON'T HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR *OWN* PRODUCT!

OH? CUSTOMER COMES FIRST? HAVE THE BALLS TO DEFEND YOUR OWN FUCKING SELF AND PRODUCT TO THE CLIENT OR THEY'RE GONNA MAKE YOU YOUR BITCH AND TIE A GAGBALL DIPPED IN HOT SAUCE AROUND YOUR MOUTH! HOW.. THE FUCK.. DID YOU MISS THAT LOGIC??????

Best part, they want it by tomorrow, and they don't wanna test it. Guess who's gonna get slaughtered after a week? ME! 🙂

My colleague and I have been trying to setup a VPN server for devs who wanted to work from home. We asked our sysadmin (who's in another office in another country) to try connecting to the server. She replied after a while that she was unable to connect. We then asked her what port she tried connecting on and she replied, "No, I didn't use any port. I am connecting directly using the hostname".

I work as a consultant and my company wanted to send me on an engagement at a client who's main product is a well known online coding course. Their whole product is teaching lay people how to code. They decided the night before I was going to start that they didn't want me consulting with them because I "didn't have a CS degree."🤔

(PS: Their head of curriculum was actually a mentor and teacher of mine instrumental in my becoming a programmer...)

SMH

I didn't get jealous that 3 of my uni friends are working at the same company but I'm extremely jealous over that 1 uni friend who's company uses Linux for their desktop by default. This is acceptable, right? Right???

!dev

Before I bought a couch, I thought I had to get a couch because when I have a girl at my place, she will definitely think I'm a serial killer who's going to murder her.

Now that I have my couch, yeah I still don't have any girls over.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

Ugh, I hate this stupid F*!

There's this new guy who's much older and thinks he's a such a f'ing hotshot that he undermines everything I worked on to drop in some a** backwards BS. Luckily I don't have to work with him often, only one day a week - else I would go nuts! He constantly name drops this same company, with little disregard for others younger than him.
Bitch, I'm close to 20 years younger than you and yet I've worked for a much longer list of much more respected companies. I've worked with legal teams on intellectual property, ran my own business, and have multiple patents. Did you ask me once my background? No, because your a selfish prick and an asshole. That's why you're likely in a mid life crisis, single, and alone. Fuck you!

I don't get what's happening with trolls here. Or people who are trying to be trolls.

Ostream got brutally trolled and deleted his account. Then came back with an alt account.

Same with Alexanderr, Nanos, Chaosesqueteam.

I am not siding with anyone, idc who's right or who's wrong, but there's one golden rule for trolling that you should know, before u attempt to be one -

If you can't handle people clapping back at you or if you don't have thick skin, then don't bother.

I want to marry a girl who's programmer like me. Do any one has a programmer couple here ?
I think programmers can match best for eachother.
Your thoughts on that?

I don't know how many of you here will understand/feel what I feel but here goes nothing

I'm the kind of person who's very calm and like sitting and talking to a friend over using a mobile phone or something. I mean, it's not like I don't use mobile phones at all but yeah.
At this point, I think my smartphone is just a waste of time. Whenever I'm bored or feel lazy, the first thing I do is unlock my phone and randomly see something online. Even though I have nothing important. I feel like it's almost cutting me off from the real world. Maybe in that time, instead of using the mobile for nothing, I could go talk to someone, go for a walk, exercise, think, etc. I even see group of friends sitting in a circle, but no one's talking. Only using their phones.
And let alone socializing, I think you miss a lot of "me" time as well (oh I like meditation and shit haha).

I'm thinking of switching to a non-smartphone. But still we are developers/engineers/designers, and for us to stay away from technology is not easy when we're the ones making it. I love what I do but at the same time I also want feel life.

Any embedded systems software engineers out there with practical experience in writing/designing safety critical applications? (think DO-178B/C) I've got a few years embedded experience under my belt between internships, my projects, and now my relatively new job at a major aviation company, but I feel like I'm behind on this topic of safety and code that can't fail. It's simply not taught and I really want to learn more. Partially it is out of personal pride because I want to make a great product, but more importantly, what I work on is protecting a human life. I really really really want to feel confident in what I build. Is there anyone out there who's got some years under their belt that can point me to some good references? Or maybe some helpful tips? Much appreciated. If it helps, all my work is in C.

@jenochi this is for you

Due to a recent suggestion by the above-mentioned @jenochi, I though that this deserved to be a rant.

Dropping support for IE will once and for all ease web developers lives and it has got to start somewhere. Who's with us!?

Had to fire two good developers and a decent QA engineer due to financial reasons in the company :(
That was the painful part, but moreover GUESS WHO'S GONNA GET MORE RESPONSABILITY FOR THE SAME WAGE?!

So long and thanks for all the fish. I'll see you in valhalla

Google terminated our Google Play Console account. Neither they give any explanation, nor they send any replies from a real human. All they send are some auto replied emails. Nothing else. No human interactions.

I mean, disabling the account for a few days is fine. But terminating permanently!! Not just that, they say that they will keep terminating accounts in the future if we create! WHAT THE FUCK! Who comes up with these shitty ideas?

Google should know, If they keep changing their policies 100 times in a month, who's gonna keep reading those bullshits over and over again?

Some of our apps got published, later got rejected for "App Description". Seriously?? For App Description?? I mean, If the app descriptions were not okay, why did you publish the app in the first place?? Not just once, but multiple times!

Should they not be a little more considerate? We developers are working hard to enrich their platform, but they don't give a fuck.

Anything we can do to get our account reactivated?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Opportunity. That is impossible. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!

I just read Jeff Bezos' article on Medium about how the ones at American Media are threatening him of leaking his private pictures.

As I was reading it, I felt, "Man, how low has journalism come to these days. Here is a guy who's worked so hard to build one of the world's biggest companies, and here are the ones at the National Enquirer trying to bring this man down."

To be honest, who gave them the right to indulge in a person's private life? Why do they have to say, "A nude selfie with his wedding ring on?" Maybe, he sent that image to his wife. This makes me wonder, "Is this the way we treat humans?"

Why are we concerned about what a man does in his personal life? What impact does taking down a man in public bring?

Thoughts, please!

Seeing how cool the community's work stories here, and how they know a lot and how they work in organized companies makes me feel like an absolute piece of shit who's lacking a lot of industry skills.

Remotely working for a startup that lacks any sense of organization, CTO is a volunteering web developer who never shows up. A lone wolf I am. I never signed to be a lone wolf. A product that is based on an absolute garbage product that is in turn based on another utter garbage product. It feels so much pain every time I have to deal with that garbage that I end up watching some stupid anime instead. Decent salary for a junior, very friendly people, and a very empowering non-profit cause but still... technical side is just shit and I don't think I can keep with this.

Sigh :(

Hey DR! I am a pretty inexperienced programmer who's learning about JS. When I was writing vanilla JS to do some simple DOM manipulation, JS seems like a pretty familiar language. However, when I start to learn about different frameworks (React, Express), the way that they code stuff (IDK how to pinpoint specific examples, it's just an overall impression) becomes very different from my experience with other programming language. I am wondering if anyone have any suggestions, have felt the same way, or know how to overcome this phase.

ps This is a general question. Please don't be pissed for lack of technical detail....

!rant

Coworker: I yelled at Sony for the PS3 having 7 USB ports... I said that devices only need 2 USB ports. But now, I have this laptop here that has two USB ports and I'm yelling at it! So who's the hypocrite?

Me: You?

Coworker: Sony. Though to be fair, this laptop was made back before we really needed a lot of USB ports. Keyboards and mice were PS/2.

Me: What about printers?

Coworker: They have printer cables....

Me: WHICH ARE USB!

Coworker: ....Oh yeah...

Coworker:Awe..
Fuck me...
Fuck fuck.... I fucked up...This fucking url..

..... Fuck. ... Pages

Me. What's going on buddy
Co worker: pages are down
Me: that sucks bro watchu do

Co worker: nothing too bad

Me: 😕 .. ok..

..... I'm still hearing the "fuuhhhcks" , and groans.

Guess who's delivering the news ... Does dev rants give stress beers.

Question; does anyone know of the ip addresses you get/see when whoissing an asn number are ALL the ip addresses that company (who's under that asn number) has allocated?

Asking for reasons....

There's this thought that keeps popping up in my head more frequently recently.

We are people who do heavy mind work. Our quality of life directly depends on our ability to come up with solutions. We've been training our minds for years, for decades, to get to the point where we are now.

Now stop for a moment. And imagine. You wake up one morning and you realize you can no longer code. You forgot all of it. You still can copy-paste answers from SO, but you don't know what questions to ask to get to those answers.... Your mind has pulled the DROP TABLE PROGRAMMING;COMMIT; stunt. From hero to zero in just 1 night.

You have no clue what happened, no idea whether you will recover. How does that affect your identity? Would you still try to climb the programmers' tree to the sweet spot you are in now? Would you choose some simpler profession instead, considering your age and time required to master that other profession? If you choose another profession - what would it be?
What would you do with your personal projects? You can't continue them yourself obviously... Would you let them die with the loss of your skills?

How closely is your profession related to your identity?

Now that I consider myself a person who's quite good in the field, this is becoming one of my fears. Sadly, it'll most likely come true someday. Either some accident or just old age, or even diseases/conditions at younger ages - there are so many things that could mess up your mind - the sole tool critical for our profession [to the picky ones: lumbers can't swing axes w/o hands, postman can't deliver mail w/o legs, politics can't lie without tongues, and we, engineers, cannot build with our minds even slightly off].

I love it when asshats, that wear testicles for sunglasses, like to ask me a question about my past experience with a given technology. Let's call it "X". After I've said my piece about the desired effect "X" was supposed to achieve, and describe the environment/scope where "X" was used, and describe the pain points I've encountered with it or the headaches "X" has caused in those environments, these camel spunk garglers then try to immediately rebut me by saying that every one of the times they've set "X" technology up it's worked just fine.

So, I kindly remind them that my past experience was in large enterprises where "X" technology just doesn't scale well so I've seen some issues with it.

Spunk Gargler: "Hmmm, must've just not been setup correctly."

I lose my shit (internally of course because I can't afford to be without a job right now.) and say, "I'm not so sure that it wasn't setup correctly, I just don't think that 'X' works properly at the scale of 500+ employee environments well. You've only ever set it up in small offices of like - what, 20 users?"

Shitlord McHerp-a-Derp who's Drunk on Spunk: "Maybe, but it just sounds like a bad configuration was causing those issues to me."

He shuffled back into his office shortly after I basically told him he's a fucking chump playing small team tactics and I've seen shit at scale so I've seen first hand what does and does not work well.

I'm writing this because this is the same fucking imbecile that has only ever encountered a /23 network once before from a client they inherited from a previous MSP team and they didn't know how to "safely change it" to a /24 so they just left it in place.

(BTW, just for the non-networking guys/gals out there, I'm sure you've already guessed it, but a /23 network is NOT a fucking problem!)

These puffy cancerous taint boils that call themselves IT engineers are the fucking problem!

I'm not a dev by trade or training, but trying to learn DevOps, and I can totally see why Dev teams can/sometimes get pissed with infrastructure teams... infrastructure/helpdesk side of IT is full of these fucking meat heads.

Windows Updates...

I know, this topic is as old as the human race, but still.

Yesterday Windows kept whining about updates. When I went to bed I allowed windows to finally do it's updates. Now I'm back from work and the machine isn't running anymore. I thought, OK, it won't annoy me this evening.

But I overlooked the one essential thing about windows updates.

IT WILL DO THE MAIN WORK WHEN IT BOOTS THE NEXT TIME!

When I explicitly tell you to do the updates, you will barely do anything but turning off! And the next time I'm trying to use you, you will do a shit ton of things and lock me out while doing so.

When it says that it'll update, shouldn't it install and reboot until it's done? Am I the one who's crazy?

Instead of "working" with the computer, I'm stuck with this shit.

*visual studio installer needs to update*

Oh for fuck sake, who's bloody idea was that...

So for a while I have wanted to build a raspberry pi cluster. In the spirit of shia labeouf I got started last saturday.

I had two pies lying around so I figured I'd run some experiments before I invested in a lot of hardware. After about a day I had turned the two pies into a shared cluster when disaster struck....

I had completely ignored the fact that you cannot run 32 or 64bit software on an arm processor (I know... I'm a java developer). So when I booted my service and the load balancer, I found that nothing worked. So pretty bumbed out, I quit the project.

Later that day I found a crazy guy who had bought a batch of 400 small form factor PSUs (300W) and internally I laughed at him a little. I mean, who's gonna sell 300W irregular power supplies. Then, just as I was about to go to bed I found this guy, he was selling from a batch of CPU-onboard motherboard for 10 bucks each and everything clicked!

I did some quick calculations and decided I could probably gather enough cash to get: 10 motherboards, 10 2GB ram dimms, 10 Sata disks and 14 PSU (in case some fail) and some misc hardware for networking and such.

So... Long story short, I am going to build a cluster computer, the first version is going to have 10 nodes and I am waiting for delivery right now!

Ok, who's the fucking retard that brought his quadcopter to the beach and is flying it around over people's heads?
Hope you land it in the sea and it burns to a crisp, you fucking moron!!

Why does downloadmoreram.com even exist, who's paying all the hosting charges. Why would you want to host a site that continously keeps generating complaints from their more gullible visitors.

It's all fun and frolic for peeps like us, but for the other peeps, I just don't get it!

My last Saturday (no atomoxetine):
- laid in bed
- watched youtube

My today's Saturday (yes atomoxetine):
- went to the store for food (leaving my home is a HUGE problem for me, can't overstate this)
- washed dishes
- swiped every room
- deep cleaned cat's litter box
- deep cleaned the toilet
- washed both sinks
- did the laundry
- cleaned all three of my laptops
- cleaned my monitor
- washed both mousepads
- took a shower
- reorganized the storage room
- reorganized the bookshelf (yes, it's singular, and I store quite a bit there: books, chargers, etc.)

I recommend Atomoxetine to everyone who's autistic/ADHD. It's a great option if you don't have access to Ritalin or Adderall. If they're illegal in your country (Russia, I'm looking at you), chances are that Atomoxetine is legal.

Can't imagine my productivity on something way stronger like Adderall. Soooo desperate to get it.

!dev (maybe slightly)

I went to a CV Workshop organized by my first school. The presenter was the slightly-arrogant/know-it-all/cool type of guy who's a recruiter and also has his own company he runs. The presentation was OK, even though it took longer than announced. However, there were some things that bugged me. He expects everyone somehow to be extraordinary. Granted he works as a recruiter and his clients would like only the cream of the top, but some of the examples he gave from his personal experience, he seemed to give more gravity on other traits of the candidates than their achievements and qualifications (e.g. rejecting a candidate because she had posted a photo of her clubbing on Facebook). Also, somehow he judges candidates based on their parents profession. Lucky me that I fall into the category he dislikes. Now the fun part (sorry for the long post):

Next week there's a career day. I sent my CV as soon as I got the mail and then I also phoned the person in charge (as per the instructions). Yesterday on the workshop it was said we should resend our CVs by tomorrow on another mail? No problem you may think, but that said recruiter will take a look on them and that means I will have to rework mine just to make sure it is to his liking. I'm no fan of writing mission statements, nor trying to guess what my qualities (aka soft skills) are because what I think I am doesn't mean I actually am.

So now, I'm in a dilemma. Just send the CV as is or get a mental breakdown just so to please that person?
Thanks everyone for your patience and time, I just wanted to pump some steam out me...

@dfox, @trogue I think with the birds, tigers, glass tables, monitors, and other toys in the avatars now. It's time for a new cartoon of the chaos and destruction that ensues when the pets fight!

Who's with me?

Honestly, I think this one is yet to come for me.

I've had a few bad experiences, but the worst ones are the ones where I couldn't find the time or brain to get some work done properly and therefore did bare minimum, so I basically was driven to shame because my teammates did almost everything.

Second to that, are times where I had to go through drama because teammates were absolutely incompetent or power hungry or inflexible.

Otherwise, it's "live and let die".

Note: I use "teammate" in general sense, equaling "coworker", "colleague", "the guy who's supposed to give me details or access" and "those in on the project" in this rant.

Currently a lower manager (I lead a team but I report to a handful of uppers). In my line of work the holiday season means more work instead of vacation. My team consists of 4 other guys, 2 of which aren't worth their weight in shit, 1 guy who's leaving for the military soon, and 1 guy who's just okay. The first 2 are about to be fired for any number of reasons, and there's no plans to hire anyone else. The lady in charge of hiring is incompetent; should've been hiring anyways for the past several months and hasn't (not due to a lack of applicants either).

I consider myself the hardest worker of the team, and one of the best in the whole place. Well, instead of being rewarded with even so much as a peptalk, my superiors have seen fit to tell me that I'm not doing enough. Like holy shit really? Are they taking credit for my work or are they just retarded? Track record at this place isn't all that great to begin with. I'm not in a position to leave as I need the money to put myself through college, but I'm thinking about hopping on the minimum effort squad at this point.

I am surrounded by incompetent fucking idiots, from the team lead that does a half arsed job at coding and then wonders why nothing further down the chain works to whole component teams that seem to be lagging so far behind they don't even know what the current code base looks like.

And who's in the middle of it all running around fixing all the problems these fucktards create, why yes it's me.

I would leave to let it implode and see what they'd do but I already know, they'd leave it till I got back so I could fix it all for them.

Feel like going around with a rolled up news paper and whacking each of them on the back of the head while screaming "no, bad code monkey, bad, fix your own bugs"

I hate being the go to fix it guy sometimes.

!dev but is somewhat tech related

So I was like 7. I was hanging out after school with a friend who's mom worked there. We were in her office. So there was a song l really liked are the time (Song of the South by Alabama) and it was on a CD.

So I put that CD in the computer and play my favorite song. Well literally 15 seconds after a line in the song, which was "Sweet potato pie and I shut my mouth," played, my cousin who was in another teacher's office decided to
prank call us.

What did they say when I picked the phone up and said hey? "Sir your order for 1,000 pounds of sweet potatoes is ready to be delivered."

I nearly shit a brick as I slammed the phone down and started freaking out. I ran to where he was and bust in there to see themn laughing really hard

Now I look back and laugh, but I genuinely
thought that by somehow playing that song ordered a lot of potatoes.

And the wild part of the story is that of literally all the things they could say, they chose sweet potatoes. Like it still blows our minds that that's the choice he made.

Found a 70-year-old retro PC enthusiast who's never heard of the drop fix.

are people forgetting that exists or

Biggest sin
Due to lack of time, I named all the variables in my project without logic,
Like temp1,str1, function dojson etc

Lord be with the dev who's gonna work on that project

PS I am not a bad person, it is the time that made do such things

Next level reinforcement learning:

Grab a baseball bat and show that damn machine who's the boss, i.e. reinforce that message by highfiving the said machine in the face with the aforementioned bat.

The more i work dev stuff in web3 the more i realize how cancerous this space is. Shits terrible over here. Not only is it extremely difficult to program but the biggest.... Idk whats the best word to use, irritating? Annoying? Stressing? Degenerate? Biggest shit thats happening are scams scams and fucking scams. Honestly you never know who's legit and who's about to scam

A 16 year old kid rug pulled 6 nft collections and stole over 10 million dollars so far. He's even arguing on twitter publicly claiming he's the Batman

People are robbing everyone for millions of dollars

You've probably heard about Luna ponzi scheme that collapsed and the founder stole BILLIONS of dollars

And the worst part about all of this:

THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES! WTF?

So why the fuck should i work a job and try to be legit if i can scam degenerates for millions of dollars because there are no consequences??

I swear I get multiple emails every week from a person who's forgotten their password but instead insists our software is broken. "Account Broken, Can't Login!"

I've started just replying to these emails without even checking their accounts anymore -- or even opening up the system.

I'll say, "I'm sorry to hear that! I've looked into your account and it should work now."

I always get a reply back "THANKS! It works great now!"

Then I facepalm.

In my opinion, russian nation's chronic inability to fight oppressive regimes is partly attributed to one interesting quirk the russian language has.
When talking about injustice committed against someone, or making threats to commit said injustice, the actor is completely omitted.
Here's an example:
“Надо будет — найдут”, roughly translated to “they could find you if they wanted to”, is a common phrase to use when talking about proxies, VPNs and other online privacy measures. But the word “they” in English translation is nowhere to be found in the original text! Let's examine the literal translation:
- “надо будет” — “the need will arise”
- “найдут” — “will find you”
The English phrase “they could find you if they wanted to” can be easily challenged with a simple question: “Who's they?” The government? The corporates? The regime? The CIA? Who exactly?

English language can mimic that with passive voice: “you are being watched”, “you are an easy target”, etc. But in active voice, you can't avoid using “they” or some other actor.
In russian, you can. And you will. Indeed, this is how russian people converse. It's a very specific, very common pattern that never really changed.

It's a very powerful thought-terminating cliché built straight into the language. You can't fight an enemy that has no name and no word to describe it, not even a euphemism. The very language you THINK in prevents you from analyzing the entities that oppress you.

In a Tom Scott Plus video where he tried tightrope walking, he learned that they don't say the “F-word” — “fall”. You can't say “I'm afraid I'll fall”. You have to find more specific alternatives like “I'm afraid I'll lose balance”. The word “fall” in this context is a thought-terminating cliché. There is no going back after you “fall”. But if you “lose balance”, you can “regain balance” — the lack of a thought-terminating cliché promotes problem-solving.

Russian language is the same, but in soviet russia, language terminates you, I guess.

Met one of my friends after almost three months. (He was out on vacation)
We randomly start talking about life and what we aspire to be.
He's doing Business Management Studies, so naturally, he wants to be some sort of manager.
He then asks about me. I tell him how I'm learning and aspiring to be a Web dev and do a little bit of ML on the side.
And following conversation ensues:

Him- Dude, what's the use of learning web development? Anyone can make a website today. Haven't you seen those ads?
Me- *Knowing he's talking about WIX* Yeah I've seen em. But it mostly generates dumb templates. If you need something custom, you gotta take help from a professional.
Him - Nah dude, you can get custom made stuff from them too. Web developers will soon lose their jobs. Learn something else.
Me - *Trying to control the urge to punch, I tried to explain that a website is more than HTML and CSS*
He - *Doesn't want to understand what I'm saying and says I should do something else, since automation will take away developer jobs *

WHAT THE FLYING SPAGHETTI FUCK!?
Why don't these people FUCKING UNDERSTAND (even after telling again and again) that there's more to a website THAN JUST FUCKING STATIC TEMPLATES
EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU FUCKING BASTARDS
And what's with claiming to know more about someone's profession than the person himself who's spending his days and nights dealing with problems your fucking zombie brains can't even fathom.
This was literally the third guy I met this month who said something similar. Are these people so common now?

God damn it! I have multiple exams that I need to study for, but can't because of my headache that I have had for two weeks now... My mom finally forced me to the doctor, and apparently I have gotten a severe case of migraine... no devices, no books and no lights allowed until it gets better.

Worst part? The exams are next week, and I havent been able to study, not even one page out of hundreds...

Guess who's retaking them this summer... döda mig 😞

Signing off from all tech now until it gets better..

Just started as an intern as a web developer in a small company. I have about 4 semester of coding experience and was hoping to learn a lot new things. Well it turns out that the main developer who's responsible for building our product has no fucking clue what he's doing. Our biggest document has about 6k lines and it kills my 8 GB ram notebook. Instead of writing one nice function, solving the problem which is occurring frequently, he wrote the same fucking thing multiple times... In the same fucking document. That's just one of many things.
Well now my job is mostly trying to stay cool, while my notebook gets hot af and somehow keeping my code OCD bearable

tldr: my classmates suck and I hate them
We study cs in school, and my classmates are super dumb.
Here is an example from today:
The task: build an http server in python, using sockets.

My classmates: writes everything in the main function, uses try-expect for everything and every error possible, nothing works, nothing worked after a week.
Me: properly separated to different functions, used goddam regrx to get data from requests, used asyncio to make sure it can handle multiple requests at the same time, everything worked after 2 hours.

But, and here is the problem, after I finish they ask me a bunch of dumb, 'Just Google it dude' questions and they call me condescending because I get mad after the second hour of teaching them the same thing.
Once they told me:"you think you are a better programmer then us" and I just want to say this out loud: I AM A BETTER PROGRAMMER THEN THEM, THEY ARE THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF HOW YOU SHOULDN'T DO ANYTHING AND I HATE THEM.
That's it, I'm done. I feel much better now.
PS: it's okay to suck at programming, but please stop thinking that everyone who's better than you is condescending.

I hate it when managers and team members don't utilise JIRA as the one source of truth.

When you move your card into the Review column, set the assignee to `unassigned` so that people know to pick it up. It's so much easier to understand the state of it !

"But then we don't know who's worked on it" - is NOT a valid reason to leave the original author as the assignee. It just leads to work not being reviewed.

So, here at this place ... last person to touch a project is the sole person responsible for it being a success or failure. Wtf?!?!?!
If a client sends me the wrong picture, and agrees that is the correct one, and then it goes to production. Later on to find that it was never correct to begin with ... guess who's fault that is?
Is everybody taking crazy pills?
Don't answer that, I already know the answer.

2 hours ago my vacation started

5 minutes ago I got a sentry error, a certain page is inaccessible for some reason

Guess who's definitely not going to fix that

(there are other people that can fix it tomorrow)

No rant today. I'm actually really happy where I am. There are things that can be improved from a stack perspective, but I'm happy to have a good supervisor who's supportive of my training.

Am I the only one who's a final year undergraduate, but isn't sure he/she knows enough about programming and comp sci as they should?

Like I recently went for an interview with a company, and they asked what's the difference between pass by reference and pass by value. Now, this is probably a very basic qs, so I was surprised when I couldn't answer this. So I'm really scared that I don't know enough, also I'm terrible in their group exercises too, I can't see how the others can do it so easily.

Biggest interview of my entire life is coming up on Thursday. I really need this to go well - it's more than double my current salary, at a time where I'm really starting to struggle to make ends meet. There's an actual "team", and from my interactions with them over the last four interviews, I think they're cool people. It's still a little unusual, because although there's a team or cohort of seniors that I'd be joining, every senior developer is still somewhat siloed, leading their own juniors. I'd also get to be remote 75% of the time, which I think I've realized is a "must have" benefit.

I don't know if it's coincidental or just bad timing then that I've been having episodes of pretty intense vertigo and panic attacks far more frequently than normal lately - even before I had this interview lined up. I realized recently that I must have some kind of anxiety disorder. I don't know if that's from the military, or just from being fucked up via my own missteps. But I can't keep having these attacks.

Anyone who's willing to share - I don't really have anyone to ask. How do you deal with this type of thing? I went to see a shrink last year, but he just gave me pills that replaced these issues with others.

So today in class, we had the task of presenting poems, for whatever godforsaken reason.

I finished mine last minute and guess who's been the lucky student who had to read theirs.

It then included things such as, roughly translated from german.

Hey actually I could use the translate bot for this but can't be bothered.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, I can't rhyme and neither can you"
"Roses are dead, violets are dead, democracy is dead"
"Roses are red, violets are red, everything is red, communism"
"Roses are red, violets are red, blood is red, god is dead"

Then I finished up with a Nietzsche quote "God is dead, god remains dead and we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves yadda yadda"

Actually didn't get fucked over by the teach.
Course and teach quite liked it apparently, can someone explain to me why that is?

Cause I genuinely do not understand what could be likable about such 0815 garbage that's just memes?

If people would change their name in real life like here on devRant I would be maximally irritated!!

!dev
Sometimes life just cracks its knuckles and goes like, yeah let's just fuck this guy inside out.
Everyday is a battle. Cockroaches are my worst fear. Like Orwell's Room no. 101 level fear. My tiny student residence room has so many that I'm sick of killing them. And they just keep coming back.
My worst sorrow is lonliness. I'm the kind of person who's fairly independant and level headed but I just love the feeling of having close ones around. So much that it's a part of my existence and identity. And sadly, that's just not there right now.
My worst misery is unproductivity. Not working on something useful always makes me feel guilty. But all the stress and responsibilities and the above mentioned problems leave me with little mental room to do what I like unless I put in a lot of conscious effort into it which drains me.
Despite all this, I stay happy. I smile at the end of the day and I'm fucking proud of it.

Am I the only one who's always scared out of my mind that there is gonna be some real hard ass purno blasting through my laptop speakers whenever I open it at work in the morning?

Rant

I was given a project to lead and develop with 2 other team members by the co-founder, I was told that I will need to deliver an initial demo within 30 days, 20 days in the project and I was told yesterday that they need a final release ready within the next 10 days !! Not just that but the co founder decided to assign one of my team members to another project!!!

I've worked today till 4am.

Guess who's working from home in the morning!

We need to reclaim this place

Who's come up with a system that mirrors devRant but can survive by itself?

I.e. users an post what they like and still survive then devRant servers are dead?

I wanna help whoever can solve this

This was shit funny.

One morning, one of my colleagues got a direct call from project architect that he has to setup a meeting to explain in depth the project he has been taking care of for months and prepare a presentation and send an invite. Two weeks later we are all invited to this meeting. This colleague acting as host of this meeting prepared for few days on the PowerPoint and also a well crafted demo. Then as the architect joins, this colleague starts speaking about his role and the project. Within a minute, the architect interrupts him and says 'shut the fuck up, I don't think you are ready yet for this meeting maybe we need someone more learned...so hmm....let me explain it'. And this architect then uses his PPT for sometime and then pulls up a whiteboard and draws birds and spiders telling every time to see system in it.

My colleague is screwed to shit and is incapable to speak when closing the call.

Later ahead 4 weeks, his PPT is retouched and recoloured and attached to a Wiki page created by a unknown fucker who happens to have direct mobile calls with this architect.

Who's is faulty or not or what happened it still shocks most when this architect joins the scrum call daily. Fuck him.

This is my first rant, so here it goes:

Working with a functional SME who's "too busy" for end to end testing and, this is a direct quote, "I'm confident that the technical team can fix anything which inadvertanly gets broken by configuration/process changes". Then when the inevitable happens and he breaks something, he refers the irate users to my team. I really hate this guy.
Thanks for listening, fellow Ranters.

The intern beside me just called me to solve an error in PHP.

He wrote:
for($slides as $s){
}

The PHP error message wasn't quite clear:
Fatal error: expected ';' on line 84

How could possibly an intern who's becoming an engineer in IT make such mistake and lose like 1h on an error like that? I even attends one of the best universities in the country

PS:
I know engineers aren't supposed to code, but he's been coding for the past month in PHP and was here just to do that